#Better At Being Who I Am makes me cry every time I listen to it.

[insanechayne]

~ ~ ~

[delicatetaysversion]

okay ventpost time im bored and my period is late

[kavehater]

how to kys without krilling yourself ;-;

[gor3sigil]

Before starting T, when I socially transitionned, I was surrounded by radical feminists who saw masculinity as gross and inherently evil, something to avoid, something to make fun of, something to destroy. The other transmascs in my friend group, sometimes, told me that they didn’t knew if they really were non-binary or if they just were scared shitless of saying “I am a man”. Because they saw this as a betrayal to their younger self who had been SAd and abused.

I saw many of my masc friends and trans men around me hate themselves, not outing themselves as men because it would imply so so much, it was like opening the Pandora Box. Even when we were just together, talking about our masculinity was always coated with bits like “I know we’re the privileged ones but…”, “I don’t want to sound like I have it bad but…”, “Women obviously have it worse, but last time…” and we were talking about terrible traumas we experienced while taking all the precautions in the world in the case the walls were a crowd of people in disguise waiting to get us if we didn’t downplay the violence we faced, or like crying and being upset and being traumatized and afraid and scared and to say it out loud would make us throw up the needles we were forced to swallow every second of every day living in our skin.

Most of us weren’t on T yet, some of us were catcalled every day and harassed in the streets or in abusive relationships nobody seemed to care to help them get out of because they were “strong enough” to do it by themselves.

I was using the gender swap face app and cried for ours when I saw my father looking back at me through the screen. The idea of transforming, of shedding into a body that would deprive me of love, tenderness, and safety, was absolutely terrifying. I knew I couldn’t stay in this body any longer because it wasn’t mine, but I also knew that if I was going to look like my dad, my brother, my abusers, it would be so much worse.

5 years later and I’m almost 2 years on T, and almost 2 months post top surgery.

I ditched my previous group of friends. I was bullied out of my local trans community. But let me tell you how free I am.

I was scared that T would break my singing voice: it made it sound more alive than ever.

I was scared that T would make me less attractive: it made me find myself hot for the first time in my life.

I was scared that T would make me gain weight: it did. But the weight I put on is not the weight I used to put on by binging and eating my body until I forgot that it even existed. It’s the weight of my body belonging to me, little by little. The wolf hunger for life.

I won’t tell you the same story I see everywhere, the one that goes “I started going to the gym 8 times a week, I put on some muscles, I started a diet and now I look like an action film actor”, in fact if you took pictures of me from 5 years ago vs now I’d just have more acne, I’d have longer hair and still look like I don’t know what to do with myself when I take selfies.

But the sparkle in my eyes, my smile, tell the whole story way better than this long ass stream of words could ever.

I want to say some things that I wish someone told me before starting medically transitionning.

It’s okay to take your time. It’s your body, it’s your journey, if you don’t feel comfortable taking full doses and want to go slow, the only voice you need to listen to is your own. Do what feels right.

If you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to take a break, it’s okay to ask for support.

Trans people are holy. Everyone is. You didn’t lose your angel wings when you came out because you want to be masculine. You are not excluded from the joy of existence, from being proud of yourself, from being sad, from being scared, from being angry. The emotions and feelings you allowed yourself to feel while processing what you experienced when you grew up as a girl and was seen as a woman are still as valid as before. Nobody can take that from you. If someone tries to, don’t let them.

It’s perfectly normal to grieve some things you were and had before you started to transition, like your high soprano voice or even your chest. Hatching is painful. You can find comfort in things that don’t feel right, so making the decision to change can be incredibly scary and weird and you deserve to be heard and supported through this. Wanting top surgery doesn’t make the surgery less intense, less terrifying, less painful to recover from. When it becomes too much you have the right to take a break and take some deep breaths before going on.

You don’t have to have a radical, 180° change for your transition to be acceptable or valid or worthy of praise. Look at how far you’ve come already. It doesn’t have to show, you’re not made to be a spectacle, you’re human and it is your journey.

Oh, and last thing, you know when some people say “Oh this trans person has to grow out of the cringy phase where you think that you can write essays about being trans or transitionning or just their experience because it’s weird” ? If you ever hear this or see this online, remember all the people whose writing you read and, even if they were not professional writers, helped you more than any theorists did ? If you want to write, do it. It won’t be a waste. It can help people. Or it won’t, and even then, if it helped you, that’s enough.

Love every of my trans siblings, take care of yourselves. You deserve the world.

[angeltism]

not 2 keep posting literally Only Vents (and like 1 normal thing once a day) but it's nights like these I reminisce about my abuser and wonder all that "what if"s

all the sui tw/cw tags r because of shit I wrote in the tags

[voiceshearingyouloud]

It makes me so happy that despite the fact that literally any other reminder of my life at the beginning of 2022 makes me feel like I’m back there in hell, but the playlist of songs my partner made for me that I listened to every single day has never made me feel anything but safe. My PTSD is so bad that even walking down the street and seeing the light of a streetlamp a certain way will trigger a flashback, but these songs are still comforting even though they are so attached to that time of my life for me.

[doitforbangchan]

All Bark and No Bite 11

Masterlist /Series masterlist

Chan x reader (y/n) x ot8

ABO!Nonidol!SKZ Alternate Universe

Previous - Next

Series Warnings: Fem reader, Smut, verryyyy nsfw, chan x reader, OT8 x reader, A/B/O, m/m/f smut, possessive! SKZ, possessive! Reader, anxiety and depression, reader is a CRYBABY, fluff, angst, virgin!reader,  cursing, violence, pet names, dom/sub dynamics, Sub reader x mostly dom SKZ, misogyny and sexism, Ateez are depicted as terrible people (sorry Atiny!) 

Chapter warnings: Smut, unprotected sex (p in v), kissing, suggestive, crying, cursing, fingering, biting, hair pulling, dubcon?, subspace, HardDom!Chan, SoftDom!Felix, fluff, angst, anxiety, manipulation, unbalanced power dynamics, and probably more but idk let me know This one ain't as sweet as the last few

WC:6.8k

In a strange turn of events, it seems Chan woke up before you did this time. Not that you were complaining; especially when you awoke to him running his warm fingers over your mating mark absentmindedly, feeling the indented skin. Every little touch felt like electricity coursing through you, as if the zaps were bringing you back to life. Overall it was a very pleasant way to wake up. 

His hand that wasn’t touching your neck had his phone and he was listening to music with one ear bud in his ear on a low volume. You let out a low ‘hm’ letting him know you were awake now. 

“Good morning, my omega.” Chans voice was raspy from sleep. He must have only just woken up not long ago himself. He didn’t say anything else, just held you tighter.

Moments like this were Chan's favorite. Being able to wake up to you; his mate, his omega, the love of his life - there was nothing better. He hadn’t realized how lonely he had been before having you here. He never felt as complete as he did right in this moment. 

“Can I listen with you?” You mumbled sleepily. You wanted to hear what your alpha listened to. Wordlessly he took his other earbud and slipped it into your own ear. ‘Give me love’ By Ed sheeran was playing through the bud, the sweet melodies flooding your senses. 

‘Give a little time to me or burn this out

We'll play hide and seek to turn this around

All I want is the taste that your lips allow

My, my, my, my, oh give me love’

It had been so long since you had heard this song, you used to sing this all the time in your room when you were younger and waiting to fall hopelessly in love. It felt fitting that now you were here laying in bed with your soulmate, who you had fallen hopelessly in love with. 

Chan began to sing along softly to the music playing, serenading you quietly.

‘Maybe I should let you go

You know I'll fight my corner

And that tonight I'll call ya

After my blood is drowning in alcohol

No I just wanna hold ya’

The alpha squeezed you a little tighter after he sang those words, pressing a kiss to the side of your head. Your heart fluttered at the action. The two of you laid there together for probably an hour, just enjoying each other's company while he sang each song that played.

Eventually though, you both had to get up as there was work to be done. For Chan anyways. You had to make breakfast and get ready to leave with Jisung and Felix. Chan had a lot to do today himself. He had been neglecting his actual job in his family business and if he was going to take another day off tomorrow to go camping then he definitely needed to make all his calls and emails today. 

“Are you excited to do more shopping with the betas today?” the alpha asked as you were both getting out of bed. 

“Yes. I am.” You seemed apprehensive. 

“Buuuuut?” He pressed, knowing something was troubling you. 

“I just.. Feel bad.. About spending more of your money. I didn’t do anything to deserve you guys spending all this money on me.”  You were avoiding eye contact with him as you went to brush your teeth. 

Chan stopped you before you could enter his bathroom, arm out to block you. “Baby.” you kept your head down not wanting to look at him, now that you had embarrassed yourself again. When you didn’t acknowledge him he let out a frustrated growl, “Omega, look at me now.” you had no choice but to look at him, he used a command on you.

 You were lucky that was all he did, he had wanted to grip your hair and make you look at him forcefully. Chan had a problem when people didn’t listen to him, especially his omega.  Some would say he thrives off of non-sexual dominance. They would be correct. The alpha was used to getting his way practically his whole life. He would forgive you now, you were still learning. 

Instead of yanking your hair he settled for petting it softly. “I’m sorry my love, I didn’t intend to be mean to you.” At his gentle words and even gentler touch you forgot about the command being used on you, leaning into his hand. “You need to understand that my money is your money. In fact this whole packs money is yours to spend as you please. The other boys would agree with me. Ok?”  He waited for your words of agreement and when they didn’t come he egged them on. “You wanna be good for us right? Good omegas listen to their alphas.” 

You wanted to be good for him so badly, really it’s all you wanted. There was a glimpse of panic on your face at the prospect of upsetting your mate. “ I’ll be good! I promise!” You nodded rapidly. 

He gave you his signature boyish grin, dimples on display, then leaned in and gave you a kiss, nipping your lip as he pulled back. “I know you will, Baby. You’re the best Omega I know.” You purred at his praise, finding it addicting. “We gotta get a move on, lots to do today if we’re going camping tomorrow.” He let you go into the bathroom to do your business and such. 

You went to pick out an outfit for today, deciding to sport some jean shorts and a basic black tank top. After that you had a quick shower and did light makeup. Simple but you felt cute nonetheless. 

When you both finally made your way down to the main floor you found Minho and Changbin sat at the kitchen island making a list of what you would need for camping tomorrow. More like Minho had roped Changbin into helping him because the beta was a planner and liked to have things ready. 

“Finally! Hyung needs help deciding what to do for food  tomorrow and Saturday morning. Any suggestions?” Changbin exclaimed as he saw Chan, giving the older alpha pleading eyes. 

“Good morning to you too Changbin. Oh I slept great, thanks for asking.” Chan quipped sarcastically, and Changbin rolled his eyes with a groan of annoyance. 

“Good morning, baby. How did you sleep?” The younger alpha asked you, trying to get on his Hyungs nerves. He cackled when it worked, Chan letting out a huff. 

You giggled, “Morning, Binnie. I slept wonderfully. Thank you for asking.” 

“Yeah yeah good morning whatever, can we get back to this now?” Minho was getting frustrated, “We literally only have right now to think about this.” 

“Fine.” Changbin reached forward and grabbed you by the hips, laughing when you squealed, and setting you on his lap. “What do you think, baby? Any suggestions?” 

You leaned back against Changbins chest,  feeling the muscles behind you, head on his shoulder while you pondered. “Do you think we should do easy things? Like maybe bring a bunch of premade stuff like sandwiches and maybe breakfast burritos for the morning we can just wrap in foil and throw on the grill?” 

“That sounds like a great idea, omega.” Chan replied, leaning on the counter opposite you. 

“Yeah! To make it even easier we can place an order for them and pick them up from the diner in town before we leave tomorrow morning.” Changbin agreed, tickling your sides mercifully. He kissed the side of your head when you giggled at him, ignoring the throbbing in his pants caused by your squirming. “Smarty pants.” 

Minho nodded in agreement, writing down how many of each he approximated you would all need. “Ok so twenty of each.” 

“Twenty?! Why twenty of each, there are only nine of us!” You objected confused, looking at Minho as if he had grown a second head.

“Have you not seen how much these guys eat? Changbin himself could probably put away half of them if you’d let him.” He was looking back at you as if you were the crazy one. 

“Hey!” Changbin protested but didn’t fight too hard, knowing Minho was right. 

“Yeah Bin, you’ll probably end up eating both of yours and the rest of Felix’s like you always do.” Chan poked fun at the younger alpha. 

“What are we talking about? I heard my name.” right on queue Felix walked into the room you were all in. 

“We’re talking about the plans for tomorrow, trying to get things taken care of.” Minho sighed, standing from his seat. “Speaking of which, I need to make calls for these orders to be picked up in the morning and then get the other stuff together.” He seemed stressed as he walked away. 

“Is he ok?” You asked, worried for the beta. 

“Oh yeah he's fine, Min is a planner and likes to get things done in advance. He’s probably going to find Innie to make him help get all the camping stuff out of the garage.” Chan answered, taking an apple off the counter and taking a bite. 

At the sight of his apple you remembered your task, “ Do you guys want breakfast?” You went to hop down from Changbins lap but he only held you tighter against him, refusing to let you go. 

“Ji should be back any second with pasties and coffee. He wanted to surprise you baby. Annnnd now i’ve ruined it, fuck.” Felix cursed, looking remorseful at having spoiled the fun. 

Chan clicked his tongue in mock disappointment, shaking his head. “Way to go, Felix.” 

“Hey leave him alone, he's just a boy!” Changbin defended the beta playfully, you leaning into him and huffing in agreement. 

“Did somebody say Jisung?!?” A loud voice came from the front door, almost an announcement of his presence. A moment later the boy in question came sauntering in, sunglasses still over his eyes and holding a tray of coffee and a bag of pastries. 

“No.” Changbin laments, “Go away.” 

“Fine I guess you don’t want the cherry tart I got especially for you, Binnie.” Jisung made a show of wafting the bag up to his nose, “Mmmmm all for me then. Here is yours, my baby. A sweet treat for an even sweeter girl.” He handed you a chocolate croissant and a coffee. 

You felt your face heat up as you accepted the pastry. “Thank you Ji.” When Binnie was distracted making grabby hands at the bag that jisung had set down, you took the opportunity to slip off his lap. 

“Anything for you.” He grabbed your hand and yanked you closer to him. “Anyways, let's get this show on the road!” with his coffee in one hand and you in the other he set off towards the door. Chan held out a credit card for Jisung who happily snatched it. “Make sure she gets something nice. Our girl seems to have a problem with spending my money.” He winked at you as you passed. 

“Oh you know I have no problem spending daddy's money.” The beta cackled. 

“Wait for me!” Felix called, scooping his own items and following you out. 

“Bye baby!” Changbin yelled, crumbs flying out of his mouth. 

“Have a good time, omega.” 

“Bye Channie bye Binnie!” You called as you were going out the door.

To say Eun was happy to see you again was an understatement. The second you walked into her shop she had a tight grip on you, hugging the life outta you. The older woman was unable to hold back tears at the sight of the bite mark on your neck, wailing about how happy she was for you and Chan and that the alpha couldn’t be luckier to have landed such a fantastic omega. You had reassured her you were in fact the lucky one. 

It took another half an hour of chatting with her before she finally brought you out some swimsuits to try on. You had picked out a few modest one pieces for yourself but her and the boys suggested (demanded) you try on their picks first, an array of bikinis. You had never worn a bikini before so trying them on and modeling them was making you nervous. 

You had chosen a basic white one to start. You figured you would start plain and work up to getting more comfortable. You thought it was cute but knew it wouldn't be the one.  Thus began you trying a few different ones until you found one you liked. It had been almost 20 minutes since you had gone into the dressing room and the beta boys were getting antsy waiting for you to come out. 

“Everything alright in there, baby?” The deep honey tones of Felix's voice called out to you. 

“Y-yeah.” you stuttered, debating whether or not to come out. “I’ve never- never worn a bikini before and I’m a little nervous.” you admitted. 

“If you’re really not comfortable you can try something else, we won’t be mad or disappointed.” He reassured you. 

You felt better at his words, taking a deep breath before pulling back the curtain and revealing yourself. 

Both Jisung and Felix felt their eyes widen and hearts stop at the sight of you. You had decided on a little purple bikini with stars on it. It was so you. The swimsuit fits you like a glove and goes perfectly with your skin tone. 

They both had been too busy admiring you to say anything and in turn their silence made you self conscious. “I knew this was a bad idea.” You mumbled, covering yourself with your arms and going to shuffle back into the fitting room.

“NO!” they yelled in unison looking at you in panic now. Felix tried to compose himself but Jisung did not, falling to the floor at your feet. 

“I’m sorry baby! You look so, so good we couldn’t help but stare!” He pleaded, his heart thumping wildly. 

Felix nodded in agreement, now more embarrassed than anything at his fellow betas' antics. 

“ Please don’t turn away from us. We didn’t mean to make you feel any negativity. We love the suit. It fits you so well!” 

“Really? You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” You asked skeptically, still covering yourself. 

“Baby, my baby, omega, believe me when I say this, if you don’t get that swimsuit I will literally drop dead.” Jisung was so serious from his place on the floor, not one hint of deception on his face. “I simply cannot go on living any longer knowing I will never again get to see your beauty in this bikini - which was made for you by the way- and soon I'll die. In fact even hearing you say it was a bad idea almost killed me on the spot.”

“Oh don’t be so damn dramatic!” Eun called out walking up to the three of you. “But you do look fantastic in that one, Y/n. It would be a real crime if you didn’t get it.” She winked. 

It seemed all three betas were rooting for this one so it seemed your fate was sealed. 

“I-if you’re all sure…” You trailed off, letting your arms fall to your sides now. 

“Never been more sure about anything, sweetheart.” Felix gave you his charming smile. 

You hummed, “Fine. I’ll get this one.” There was a round of cheers then Eun went to ring you up, adding a few more pieces she thought would suit you. 

Felixs’ big errand was buying blue hair dye. Apparently he used to have blue hair but it's been a while and he’s ready to feel like himself again. He was too precious. You wondered if Chan would be ok with you dying your hair, figuring it wouldn't hurt to ask. Jisung tried to convince you to get some purple dye anyway and not tell him but you were too chicken shit to do something like that. 

“Do you wanna help me dye mine, baby? I would love your company.” Felix asked you, crinkling his eyes at you. 

Pulling back up to the house you found Jeongin, Minho and Seungmin outside putting some large camping items in the back of a truck. By the looks of it they had already loaded a grill and a few tents. Minho sure didn’t waste time. “There you are, now you can help too.” He eyed the younger boys. 

“Actually y/n and I have a few things to do.” Felix grabbed your hand as you got out of the car, his other hand holding your bags. “Sungie would love to help you tho, i'm sure.”

“What?! Traitor!” Jisung complained but was quick to change his tune when Min gave him the evil eye. “I mean, yay packing.” 

“We all have to do our part. You included.” Jeongin snickered, handing the beta a bag to put in the car. “At least you didn’t have to make a store run like Hyun and Bin hyung.” 

“This was your idea! You should be doing all the work!” 

Felix pulled you along into the house, quickly to go undetected “come on before they rope us into helping.” he whispered. 

Both of you went up the stairs into Felix's bathroom after you dropped your bags off in your room. Passing Chan's office you could faintly hear the alpha in there on the phone, probably talking with a client. The fact that he works so hard so his pack could have the life they live was astounding. Chan really was a great alpha. 

Entering the bathroom Felix reached under the sink for plastic gloves for you to use, and set up the dye. You had helped your old best friend dye her hair a few times so the process was familiar to you. Thankfully his hair was already bleach blonde so you didn’t have to worry about trying to bleach it.  

You loved spending time with Felix. Really you loved any one on one time with the boys but you and Felix hadn’t spent time like this since your first day. That felt like so long ago when in reality had only been over a week. They say time flies when you're spending it with your loved ones. 

You were discussing what you wanted to plant in the greenhouse when you came back from camping. Cucumbers, pumpkins and peppers were at the top of your list, while Felix requested some carrots and spinach if you could find the room. In only a few hours you had finished dying his hair and had just helped him wash out the dye. He had chosen a beautiful blue for his hair. It seemed to compliment him perfectly. Now it seemed like he was representing who he truly was, with his hair being a clear sky and he himself was the sun. 

“You’re all finished! It looks so good on you Lix!” You were enthused, pleased with the finished product. 

“All thanks to you baby.” He pulled a blow dryer from under the sink and plugged it in. “Now I'm gonna dry it. Do you wanna help me style it?” Felix really just wanted to be around you more, he wanted to be selfish if only for a while. 

“Sure Lixie.” you beamed, reaching for the dryer. You were sitting on the bathroom counter while Felix stood directly in front of you. You turned it on a low setting and grabbed a brush in your other hand,  he leaned closer to you and came to stand between your legs.

 You began to dry and style his hair, neither of you saying anything now but it not being uncomfortable. In fact it was pleasant. Being close with him reminded you of the kiss he shared with you last night.  Not you nor he had brought up the kiss, and he also hadn’t kissed you since. ‘Maybe he regretted kissing me’ the thought weighed heavy on your mind. 

Little did you know it was the exact opposite. The only thing on Felix's mind right now was kissing you. He was just worried you hadn’t liked it since you didn’t say anything about it, but you also weren’t acting any different. He was so close to you he could almost taste you, remembering the way your lips did even for that brief moment. 

You finished with his hair and set down the tools on the countertop beside you. You were still facing him, afraid to break the silence or to move from your place in front of him. All you could do was focus on each other. 

Slowly and timidly, Felix leaned closer to you. You could feel his breath on your face and his scent get even stronger, and Felix gingerly let his lips find yours. Your eyes closed on instinct as you pressed yours to his in return. 

‘Finally’ your inner voice said. 

When Felix felt you reciprocate his kiss he let out a small whimper, you wouldn’t have even heard it if you weren’t so close to him. His hands fell to your waist and he shuffled even closer to you when you parted your legs further to allow him to make the connection between you. Your own hands were on his shoulders. 

The beta didn’t go any further and settled for what you were giving him. He wanted to go at your pace, afraid he would do something to scare you off. While you did enjoy his kiss it suddenly was not enough for you so you took the initiative to gently run your tongue along his lip. When he felt your tongue he whimpered again this time a little louder. His sounds were doing something to you and without thinking you rolled your hips against his. 

When your pelvis made contact with his it’s like the damn broke for him and he let the niceties fall. Felix started to ravage your mouth now with his own tongue, his hands gripping you tighter and his own hips doing a roll. Your breath caught in your throat as a quiet moan escaped your lungs. 

He held you like that for a while, you both basically dry humping on the counter and tasting each other's mouths. Eventually it was becoming too much for the beta, he knew he would cum in his pants soon and he did not want to do that in front of you. He pulled back from your lips , only a few inches apart. 

“Do you want to go further with me, baby?” He prayed you said yes. You had him so worked up he didn’t think jerking off would suffice anymore. 

“Please, Lixie. Wanna feel you.” 

Fuck 

That was all he needed to lift you from the counter onto your feet, then he grabbed the bottom of your tank top and pulled it off of you. He groaned at the sight of your lace bra. You made grabby hands at his own shirt and pulled it over his head. 

Felix was so defined. He was so tiny the thought had never even crossed your mind that he could also be ripped. You didn’t have much time to stare before he was turning you around to face the mirror with his hands on your hips and lips on your neck as he locked eyes with you in the mirror. “Can I take you like this, Baby? Let me see all of you?” He let a hand creep up your back to the clasp on your bra, but not yet taking it off. 

You nodded, and answered “Uh huh. Yes lixie.” You were so ready for him. Honestly you had been wet since before you styled his hair. You would be surprised if Felix somehow didn't notice the sickly sweet pheromones that were draining out of you.

Felix unclasped your bra  with nimble fingers and let it fall away from you. “Oh my god you're so beautiful.” He groaned out when he saw your bare chest. That same hand came to the front of your body and found your right breast, his thumb coming up to rub over your nipple. Now it was your turn to moan out, leaning closer to his chest. “Put your hands on the counter in front of you, baby.” 

You did so without complaint and put your palms flat on the surface. He fondled your chest for a few minutes, taking in all the little sighs and moans you would let out as he watched your expressions in the mirror, finding it addicting. When you pushed your ass back into his crotch he let out an almost silent growl, nipping into the skin on your neck that he had been kissing. Suddenly he released you and went to the waistband of your pants, yanking them down your legs with no warning taking your underwear with them. 

Felix didn’t know what was overtaking him but he didn’t mind it. He was never this assertive when having sex but something about you made him want to take control. Whether it was your omega status or just your submissive nature in general he couldn’t be sure. Probably a combination of both. You certainly were not complaining, liking this sudden dominant side of the man. 

The beta pulled down his own pants and underwear next, eager to have the constricting material off. There you both were, naked and breathing heavy in anticipation. Your eyes were locked in the mirror as Felix reached under both of you and his fingers found your bundle of nerves. You gasped when he touched the sensitive area, eyes closing only for a second. He could feel just how drenched you were for him. 

It was at this point that Felix realized he did not have a condom in here.’ Are you fucking kidding me?’ he momentarily chastises himself. “Ummm baby?” you hummed in response, waiting in anticipation. “I sorta don’t have a condom…” 

“Oh.” you froze. “Th-then we can, umm, maybe we should stop.” 

“Do you want to stop?” He desperately did not want to, he literally didn’t know if he could at this point. 

“N-no but Chan and the doctor said-” 

“But I can pull out.” He eagerly proposed, he had never been a rule breaker but right now he really did not give a shit. Consequences be damned. “Come on omega, it’ll feel so good.”

“I don’t know, lix…” You trailed off, unsure. "Channie wouldn't like it.." You didn’t want to disobey but one look at his pleading face behind you and you gave in. “If you promise to pull out…” 

“I promise,” he said immediately. You nodded hesitantly giving him the go ahead as you readied yourself against the counter once more. "God, you are so hot."

The beta placed a kiss to your neck before taking his member in his hand and lining up with your entrance. He hadn’t prepped you like he should have but honestly when you were both that desperate that was the farthest thing from his mind. He let the tip run through your slick that had accumulated to make it an easier entry. Felix slowly pushed into you from behind, the stretch of him leaving a slight burn and you lightly hissed at the intrusion. 

Felix on the other hand was in heaven. He had never felt so incredible from one push but fuck you were so tight.  “Fuck omega, your pussy is so tight, nnggg oh my god I don’t know how I'll be able to move, fuck baby.” Felix couldn’t shut up as he filled you. His words were helping you though, as he stopped moving to let you adjust while he mumbled. 

Between his jumbled (what you assumed were) praising words he laid sloppy kisses to your bare shoulders, his saliva leaving wetness along your skin. You were absolutely reeling; between feeling him within you and his total personality flip that left you with whiplash, your brain was turning into a muddled mess. It got even worse when he started rutting into you from behind, his hips grinding harshly against your ass.

His chest pushed you further into the counter and with the new angle his cock hit something deep inside you. Your back arched as you moaned aloud, your head falling forward in your ecstasy. 

“F-fuuckk baby, you are so good f’ me. So so good, oh my god.” his deep voice was getting raspier by the second. Felix reached his hand around, his small fingers finding your clit again and rubbing sloppy circles.  His other hand went to your breast and massaged your sensitive skin. “Look at me, baby, please look at me.” 

You mustered all your willpower to bring your head up as much as you could, looking through your wet lashes to his gaze in the mirror. He looked absolutely wrecked, his eyes glossed over as he drooled on you. At the sight of him, fucked out because of you, you felt your orgasm approaching and approaching fast. “F-felix ‘m gonna- gonna cum.” 

“Please cum for me. I need you to cum for me.” He sped up his thrusts, humping into you desperately. He was close to. The pulsing of his dick within you sent you over the edge, and you came with a loud cry of his name. 

The squeezing of your heat on his member was enough for him. The beta knew he wouldn’t be able to pull out in time but he still tried, cumming half inside and the rest on your ass. The second he came his urges took over completely and without a warning, his teeth embedded themselves in your shoulder blade. When his teeth made contact in your skin you moaned as another orgasm washed over you. 

You both were panting hard, you with tears cascading down your cheeks and Felix with your blood on his lips. It took you a moment to catch both of your breaths, the severity of what had happened finally registering in both of your minds. 

“Felix…” 

“Yeah” 

“You came in me.”

“Yeah”

“Do you think Chan will be mad?”

“Yep”

“Oh. Did you mean to bite me?” 

“Um, n-no.” He stammered, “ It had been on my mind since a few days ago when Chan said we could.” 

‘Chan had said that?’ 

“But I didn't really expect to.” He grabbed a towel and began to wipe up the dripping mess he made on your skin.  “I guess now is a good time to tell you that I'm kinda in love with you.” he chuckled nervously. 

You spun around at his confession, not really shocked. You were able to feel his emotions when he bit down on you. It wasn’t as intense as when Chan bit into you - given he is an alpha and he bit your mating gland - but you could still sense the betas to an extent. “Felix…” you let more salty tears trail down your face. “I…I kinda love you too.” 

Now he was crying, unable to contain his emotions and he fell into your embrace. Both of you were just little crybabies. Maybe that is why you got on so well together. It was easy to be vulnerable with him. 

It was easy with Felix. So you both just hugged, and whispered to each other there in the bathroom.  Both dreading the storm that was your alpha. 

Sometime later after you had both redressed and Felix cleaned the wound on your shoulder, you both exited the bathroom. You shared a final kiss before parting ways. Felix going down the stairs and you going into Chan's office. The guilt was going to eat you alive if you didn’t tell him (assuming he couldn’t smell it on you when you came in). 

You heard more faint talking so you knocked and waited. You heard him thank whoever he was talking to and hang up. “Come on in,  baby.” He called out to you. You opened his door slowly and saw him sitting at his desk. His nostrils flared when you entered his office. 

Chan obviously knew what you were doing with Felix, but he didn’t know the dirty secret you were keeping. Upon your entry into his office you were emitting a scent you hadn’t produced in a few days; intense guilt. 

“What’s wrong, omega?” He immediately questioned you, reaching his hands out for you. When he noticed your hesitancy to grab his hand he stood from his seat and rested his hands on your shoulders, bending to be eye level with you. “Did something happen? Did Felix do something to you?” 

“No!” you answered quickly. “I mean, not really.” 

“Then what's wrong? You can't keep secrets from me, I can smell it on you.” 

You looked down to the floor shamefully before giving him an answer. “When Felix and I were..intimate, he sorta.. He didn’t wear anything… and he umm he kinda came in me a little bit..” Your heart was pounding out of your chest when you saw the hardened look in the alphas face, his eyes darkening at your admittance. 

“Is that so?” He seemed eerily calm, if you knew anything about alphas it’s that they are prone to rage so the fact that he didn’t immediately lash out was kind of scary to you. Little did you know he was furious. 

“I’m really sorry, Channie. I-i know i wasn’t supposed to but-” 

“Go to our room.” He interrupted you, removing his hands from you. 

“W-what?” 

He let out a low growl, “Go. to. Our. room. Omega, now.” 

You gave him a look of alarm at his menacing tone, but still scurried out of his office and to his room. You shut the door softly and then sat on the bed, awaiting your fate. You hadn’t seen Chan angry yet, you didn’t know what to expect. He didn’t strike you as the type to scream and throw things like your father had been, but to be fair you had only known him for just over a week. 

After about ten minutes Chan walked through the door into the space you occupied. He still had that intimidating demeanor but he seemed to be keeping his cool. He skipped the formalities as he spoke to you though, “ Take off your clothes and get in the shower.” 

You stood from your seated position and started to strip, gently placing your clothes down in the hamper before slowly making your way to the bathroom. The whole time he just watched you as if you were a prey animal, and he was the big bad wolf.  

Once you turned on the water to his shower it only took a moment for it to get hot and you entered the shower. It was a spacious area, with sliding glass and a shower head that rained down from the ceiling. Any other time you would have found solace in the luxurious bathroom, but right now all you felt was anxious. 

Chan didn’t say anything as he slipped into the shower with you a few moments later. In fact he hadn’t said anything at all as he helped you wash your hair, he only shushed you when you went to speak. It wasn’t until he grabbed a loofa and began rubbing down your body from behind with it that he spoke. “ This is a nice bite mark here on your shoulder. Did Felix do that to you?” You went to nod in response but that wasn’t what the alpha was looking for, and he used one hand to reach onto the base of your head and gripped your hair tightly, causing you to let out a squeak. “I asked you a question, omega, and I expect an answer.” 

“Yes, yes Alpha he did.” You gasped out, falling quickly into an uncharted subspace. Your inner omega only wanted to please your alpha now. His actions and words were shocking to you, he wasn’t being the Chan you knew him to be. You had seen small glimpses here and there but never to this extent.

“Did he bite you while he was cumming inside of you?” His grip on your hair tightened in one hand while his other brought the loofa down between your legs. 

“Yes alpha.” You tilted your head back trying to get some slack but it proved pointless. 

“Do you remember the conversation we had with the doctor yesterday, omega?” He knew you did, or else you wouldn’t have come to him so guiltily. 

“Yes I re-remember” You stuttered, your insides fluttering with both excitement and anxiety. 

“What did he say to us about when having sex?” His lips were kissing your injured skin on your shoulder where your new bite mark resided. 

“To-to use protection until my results come in and I can go on-on birth control.” your panting was getting stronger as you tried to forget about the pain on your scalp. 

“Mm that is right, baby.” chans tongue dug into your injured skin, causing you to let out a quiet cry. “Ya know what the rule was and still deliberately did otherwise. What am I going to do with you?”  It was a rhetorical question meant to tease you. You started to cry at his words. 

“ m’ so sorry Alpha. Please don’t be angry. M’ sorry.” He leaned over to lick up the salty tears that were coming down steadily now. 

“Oh baby, I know you're sorry. Alpha knows.” you perked up slightly but it all came crashing down when he said his next words, “But just because you're sorry doesn’t mean there are no consequences.” 

He dropped the sponge to the ground and that hand grabbed both of your wrists holding them together behind your back and pushing you against the cold tile, your chest smushing against the wall. “Ahh Chan!”

“Spread your legs. Let me in there, omega.” you did as he said, and he wasted no time in rubbing the tip of his cock along your sensitive folds. “Funny enough, I had just talked to the doctor on the phone before you came into my office, stinking like guilt and cum.” The alpha pressed you harder against the tile. “And it turns out you wouldn’t even be able to get pregnant right now, those suppressants  are running crazy all over your body and hormones.”

 Without warning he pushed into your heat, your sore walls engulfing him completely. He was so big. Even though you had been prepped by Felix so recently, taking the alpha was a whole other ball game. The only time he had really fucked you was on your heat, where your body was ready to accommodate his length.

“R-really?” you asked in a moan, both in pleasure and pain. 

“Uh huh. How lucky is that?” He started at a brutal pace, the skin of his pelvis slapping against your ass noisily. “Still doesn’t excuse your actions. The both of you have to make it up somehow.” 

“Please, m’ sorry.” you pleaded between moans and squeaks. His cock always filled you so well.

“This bite mark he left you sure is deep. You know Felix would only bite someone he loves.” Your heart fluttered at his remark, and it seemed your pussy did too. “Fuck so tight. Did you know that, omega? Your pussy tightened on me so you must know. Felix loves you, and now I'm sure you love him too huh?” 

“Yes alpha!” you cried louder as his wet heaving chest was pressed against your back.

“Maybe that should be your punishment. Yeah that's it, since both of you want to disobey me then that's the consequence.’ your eyes widened, having an inkling of what he would say next. 

“You aren’t allowed to touch him, at all, until I say so. No kissing, no fucking, no so much as brushing fucking fingers with him until I've deemed it acceptable. Fuck maybe I won’t even let him speak to you from now on.” 

“Alpha no!” You tried to protest but he only sped up his thrusts, making you only be able to moan and cry. Fuck he was fucking you so good. Better than anything you have ever felt. He had you so deep in space you could barely focus on anything than that thin line between pain and pleasure.

“Too fucking late. You stay the fuck away from him, do you hear me, omega? Damn, I'm gonna cum. He won’t so much as breathe in your direction until I say so.” The alpha let go of your hair and you sucked in a large breath at the release. He opted for gripping your hips roughly, his fingers surely to leave bruises. 

Your arms were free now so with one hand you braced yourself against the cold surface, the other was reaching behind you to grab at your mate, craving even an ounce of comfort as you were nearing your high. You made contact with the skin on his waist and dug your fingers into him. 

When you grabbed him the alpha let go and released inside of you with a loud growl, the copious amount overflowing against his length. His knot inflated within you, locking you into place with him. His growl set something inside of you aflame and without warning you came too, a loud wail leaving your lips and your eyes rolling into the back of your head. You wretch your head to the side bearing your neck for your alpha, giving him your complete submission. He almost took the opportunity to reclaim you, but knew you had enough biting for one day.

Chan stilled his hips, breathing heavy in your ears as he let you come down. He watched the cum fall down from where you were joined and be washed away with the water. After a moment when his knot had deflated, he slowly pulled out of you, kissing the back of your neck and whispering praises. He knew it would be a long night of aftercare. 

A/n: True colors are starting to come out a lil more, not everything is all sunshine and rainbows

Comments and reblogs are very much appreciated!

Also if any one wants to chat about the story or share predictions please send me an ask!!

Beta read by my wonderful bumble bee @ayejaii

©doitforbangchan

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[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Sad Conrad request. Surprising him at the beach house and being there through the hard moments with his mom

Grab your tissues, this is a sad one

Warnings: mention of cancer/death

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

‘’She won’t get better. It’s too late,’’ a crying Conrad said through the phone one late evening of May.

You sat up in your bed, giving him your best attention as your heart clenched.

These past few months, Susannah had been trying a new treatment for her cancer. She initially didn’t want to do it, but she would do anything for her boys. It’s been tough for her and the boys, physically and emotionally, but Susannah was a fighter. If she could beat cancer once, she could do it again, right?

Today, she had an appointment with her oncologist to see if the treatment was working. Conrad had been very stressed over it, calling you more often just to hear your reassuring words. You stayed optimistic for his sake, but you couldn’t lie to him. There were chances the treatment did not work.

‘’S-she’s gonna die.’’ His voice cracked at the last word, causing a tear to slip down your face.

That night, you almost booked a flight to Boston just to hold him in your arms.

*

When June came, you all went to Cousins’ beach for the last time. The last summer, her last summer.

On the day of the Fishers’ arrival, you sat on Conrad’s perfectly made bed and waited for him to walk through his door. It felt strange to be alone in their holiday house. Susannah had helped you plan the surprise for Conrad, mailing you a double of the keys a week before their arrival. He had been taking care of her so well during her treatment, she wanted to thank him in a special way.

You heard the door open downstairs, Conrad and Jeremiah’s voices soon filling the house. A know formed in your stomach, excited and nervous at the same time. Susannah’s voice mixed with the two, asking Conrad to take the bags upstairs.

The stairs creaked under his steps, listening as he took his mother’s bags to her room first, then his own. You held your breath as you saw the doorknob turn, soon revealing the boy you had missed so much with one bag over his shoulder and his suitcase in his other hand.

A mix of complete surprise and confusion spread on his face when he saw you sitting there on his bed.

‘’Hi.’’ You stood and a smile curled on Conrad’s lips for the first time in a while.

He dropped his bag and the suitcase’s handle and rushed over to you, wrapping his arms around you and lifting you from the ground. You wrapped your own arms around his neck as your legs did the same to his waist, finally in each other‘s hold.

‘’What are you doing here? You said you wouldn’t be here until Sunday.’’

You pulled back slightly, pushing that one piece of hair from his pretty eyes. You missed him and the soft smile he only kept for you. ‘’I drove here two days early to surprise you.’’

‘’Consider me surprised,’’ he said, closing the space between you and kissing you for the first time since spring break. Without breaking the kiss, Conrad took you to his bed, toppling on it in a mess of tangled limbs. ‘’How did you get in? Did you pick our backdoor?’’

‘’Susannah.’’

His eyebrows drew closer. ‘’My mom?’’

You nodded.

For a very short moment, Conrad was happy. And it was all because of you — with the help of Susannah.

*

As the summer went by, and Conrad was turning into a shell of his person. He was barely ever leaving the beach house or his mother’s side, wanting to spend as much time with her as possible before the end.

Since her last scan, the cancer had spread. She was getting more sick each day, becoming more tired and frail every time you saw her. Her blond hair was gone, replaced by a bandana that covered her bald head.

It was sad to watch.

‘’I hate to make this all about me, but who am I supposed to talk to? What am I supposed to do if my mom’s not there?’’ Conrad asked one night you were sitting on the back porch, his feet dipped in the pool water.

‘’You can talk to me. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.’’ You put your hand on his shoulders and he started to sob as you felt your own tears blurring your vision.

‘’She’s too young to die. She’ll never come to my college graduation or Jere’s high school graduation.’’

A few weeks later, you and Conrad were watching a movie in the living room, when Susannah came to get a glass of water. Conrad had fallen asleep against you, too tired to stay up late like he used to these days. You asked if she needed your help, but she smiled and said she was okay.

Before going back to her room, she came to the living room and put her hand on your arm. ‘’Thank you for being there for Connie. He doesn’t say, but he’s taking it the hardest. When I… He’s gonna take it the hardest.’’ She looked down at her son, a sad smile on her lips and tears welling in her eyes. ‘’Please take care of him.’’

*

When Susannah took her last breath, the weather was gloomy and dark outside, reflecting perfectly the feeling of the coming weeks.

You got the call at 3am and drove down to Boston, to the Fishers’ home. A red-eyed teary Jeremiah answered the door. You gave him a long hug, then headed to Conrad’s room. Laurel and her kids were there, all grieving the loss of a close friend — a non-blood-related family member.

As you entered Conrad's room, the somber atmosphere weighed heavily. The curtains were shut, plunging the room into semi-darkness, illuminated by the smallest crack of light coming from the top of the window. On the bed was Conrad, still in his clothes from last night, crying in silence and holding the old shark plushie his mother got him as a child. It had seen better days and was missing one eye, he hadn’t let go of it since coming home from the hospital.

His shoulders stiffened when he heard the door opening, about to rudely shoo out whoever had come to check on him, but relaxed when he saw you. Your hair was gathered in a loose ponytail, strands framing your face, and your shirt was an old one of Conrad’s, but none of that mattered to him. There was no one else he wanted to see beside his mom than you.

Lifting his head from the shark plushie, the steady flow of tears on his face. breaking your heart. His blue eyes, once vibrant, were now red and swollen from hours of crying, just like his brother’s.

You opened your mouth to speak, but words seemed inadequate in the face of such profound loss. So you said nothing.

You laid with him on the bed, wrapping your arms around his shoulder and pulling him into you like you had done these past months. The second his face met your chest, his sobs filled the room, finally allowing himself to let go now that you were there to catch him.

Rare were the times you had seen Conrad, but it was heartbreaking every time. You rubbed circles around his back and rested your cheek on his head, feeling his tears soak your shirt as he cried, silent tears falling from your own eyes.

You stayed like that for what felt like hours — just the two of you laying on his bed. Laurel didn’t bother checking on him, knowing he was well taken after with you. It was a weight off her shoulders, one less thing she needed to worry about.  

As the night was starting to fall outside, you felt Conrad's breathing even out, telling you he had fallen asleep. You didn't know how long he had been up for, but he must've been exhausted — in every way.

You carefully reached out to grab the soft blanket from behind him, trying to not wake him, but Conrad tightened his grip on you as he sensed your movement, afraid of losing the anchor that kept him grounded. 

‘’Don’t leave me too,’’ he mumbled, his voice so small and weak you didn't hear it.

You stayed still, frozen by his words. The vulnerability in his voice pierced your heart, and you realized that even in his sleep, his fear of abandonment lingered. 

Gently, you brushed your fingers through his hair, softly whispering back to him in reassurance.  ‘’I'm not going anywhere. I promise. I'll be right here when you wake up.’’

You vowed to be there for him, to support him through the darkest hours of his journey, and you planned on keeping that promise you made to Susannah, even if it meant staying up all night holding him or skipping a few days of classes at college. 

With great care, you shifted your position, sliding out from under him just enough to reach the blanket. As you draped it over both of you, he instinctively clung tighter to you, seeking the comfort of your presence.

—

All and more taglist: @spiokybirdstarfish @kenqki @liidiaaag @hawkegfs  @gillybear17  @areaderinlove @acornacreacure @black-rose-29 @fudge13 @cece05 @rosie-cameron @Caxddce @laylasbunbunny @gemofthenight @beautyb1ade  @hi-bored-as-fcuk-rn  @lovelyy-moonlight @mellabella101 @vxnity713  @marzipaanz  @bisexualgirlsblog @queenofslytherin889 @thatbxtchesblog @softb-tterfly @ethanlandrycanbreakmyheart  @xyzstar  @graceberman3  @Heartsforneteyamsully @aerangi @hallecarey1

[marikuchanxo]

Mistakes Are Better Fixed

Characters: Husband!Nanami Kento x F!Reader

Word Count: 2.4k~

CW: Angst, fluff, hurt reader, pet names.

Author's note: Hello! This is my first ever writing :). Please feel free to leave your opinion/recommendation after you read. Special thanks to @pseudowho who helped me writing it.

Fighting. A word that isn’t found in your relationship dictionary with your husband Nanami Kento. Most of the time you and him would have meaningful and calm conversations. Of course, like any couple, you would have some arguments here and there; due to different opinions or making important decisions. But this time, it isn’t like any before. 

It is Sunday afternoon, and you find yourself in an extremely heated fight with Nanami. Heck, you don’t even remember what got you both into this situation. Your heart is exhausted from all the arguing. “JUST LISTEN TO ME FOR ONCE!!” 

Nanami shouts at you with such a furious face that you have never seen on him before. You, on the other hand, petrified, and trapped between him and the wall facing your back. Your eyes swell up with tears facing the floor; you just can’t keep looking at him with such frightening features. Nanami immediately snaps out of his stance, seeing tears running down your flushed face. Those tears are the result of his own actions. Since day one of your marriage, he vowed and promised you that he would never do something that won’t be in your favour. And now he broke that promise.

“Sweetheart, I…” You don’t let him continue with his words as you take your crying self away from him to the bathroom. He follows you down the hallway, so you rush and lock yourself inside.

“Love, please open the door. Let me talk to you.” 

Nanami knocks on the door softly so as not to startle you anymore. On the other side of the door, you slide your back against it and cry your heart out. Sobs and whimpers are all he can hear from you, and his heart aches for each one of them. 

“I will be waiting for you outside.” He gently whispers to you from behind the door. Nanami slips himself to the ground, his face in his palms; ashamed of what he’s done.

After an hour or so, you get calmer and collected. Shivering from the cold floor beneath you, you pick up yourself to take a quick shower and get out of the bathroom. You have decided to leave afterwards to pick a quick bite and then spend the rest of the day at Shoko’s. Your tummy is rumbling with hunger already as you didn’t get the chance to make breakfast; you started your day with that heated fight. Great. At the same time, as Nanami hears the shower turning on, he sighs gladly that you are fine. He gets up, looking forward to making it up with you. When you are done and open up the door, you find your husband standing before you. Anticipation is all over his face, replacing the horror you witnessed before. He reaches out for your hand, speaking politely.

“Please, let me fix this..”

“Nanami, I need my space for the time being. I am going to Shoko. I don’t know when I will be back.”

You leave his hand hanging in the air, looking away as you are speaking. You head to your shared bedroom to change your clothes and head outside. Nanami realises that you are still mad at him, which you have every right to be, when you called him by his last name. In better circumstances, you call him Kento or Ken. His beloved wife is the only person he allows to call him by his first name, as an element of intimacy between the both of you. He surrenders to your decision to give you some needed space. 

As you change into comfy sweatpants and jumper, you text Shoko that you’re coming to her house. She welcomes you right away. It isn’t your first time to stay over; both of you consider your homes as each other's way before meeting Nanami. You comb and braid your long hair before heading out of the bedroom. You notice Nanami sitting on the couch, hands in his lap. He gets on his feet and his eyes shift to you when he senses your presence.

“I am leaving.” As you reach the door to leave, Nanami calls for you to stay but you don’t answer him.

The moment you get inside your car, texts start flooding your phone. You know it is your husband because you set this special ringtone for him.

Kento 💙: Sweetheart, please come back. I was out of my mind when I shouted at you, I shouldn’t have done that.

Kento 💙: I deeply apologise for my awful action.

Kento 💙: Please text me when you arrive at Shoko’s.

Kento 💙: Home isn’t the same without you here.

You check these messages from the notifications bar before you start driving. You are still not ready to talk to him. 

When you arrive at Shoko’s house and sees you, she senses your gloomy vibes. Asking if something is wrong, you immediately start crying. She brings you into her soothing hug, giving you all the time you need to calm down. When you start mentioning what happened, she is shocked that Nanami is the one who hurt you. Shoko knows how special you are to him that he wouldn’t ever be on the list of people who could do you harm. She tries to calm you as much as she can when her phone rings.

“It is Nanami.” Before she responds to his call, you try to muffle your sobs.

“Hey, Nanami. Yes, she is here. She is alright, don't worry. Umm, give me a second.” She mutes the call and tells you that he wants to talk to you. Shaking your head, you reject his request.

“I am sorry, Nanami, she doesn’t want to talk right now. Sure, no problem. Okay, bye.”

After that call, you go to the bathroom to freshen up while Shoko makes some hot tea. As you settle down and check your phone, you notice more texts from Nanami.

Kento 💙: Did you arrive at Shoko’s? Please let me know.

Kento 💙: Are you okay? Did you grab something to eat on the way? I know you skipped breakfast because of me.

Kento 💙: Darling, I miss you. Alot.

Again, you ignore his texts. You wish you could reply to him, but your heart is still grieving. 

When Shoko comes back with the tea, you feel a bit soothed. As a life-long friend, she knows that tea is always the solution for any problem you have. Taking your first sip, you tell her of what had happened in more detail, you apologise for barging in suddenly, and ask her if you can spend the night here. Shoko happily welcomes you again. Giving her a small grin, you thank her, feeling blessed for having such a great friend in your life. 

The night comes in, you just had dinner with Shoko. The TV is switched on some random channel, spending some quiet time with her. You haven't heard from your husband since the last texts he sent you. You find worry starts seeping to your heart, but your mind refuses to contact him. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. You look at Shoko as if asking are you waiting for someone? She shrugs No and goes to check the door anyway. As she opens it, Shoko finds Kento in front of her. He is not in his best looks as sadness appears to take a toll on him.

“Good evening, Shoko.”

“Hey, Nanami. Please come in.”

“Thank you. I won't be here for long. I just want to check on her.”

“Definitely.”

Shoko leaves Nanami with an assuring grin. She goes back to you in the living room to inform you of the visitor. 

“Nanami is here. He wants to check on you.”

“Didn’t he call and you told him I am okay? He knows I am spending the night here.”

“Dear, Nanami is your husband and he would do his absolute best to win you back and you know that. I haven’t seen you acting like this before towards him.”

“Because he never shouted at me before! Kento knows I have a traumatic past and I don’t want to go through it again.”

Uttered faintly, you bring your knees to your chest and hug yourself.

“I am not in a good state yet to see him, Shoko. I am sorry…”

Defeated, Shoko sighs and gives your back a soft pat. She understands what you mean but she wishes this quarrel would be resolved sooner than later. 

Kento hears footsteps coming to him, hoping they are yours. To his dismay, it is Shoko empty handed.

“I am sorry, Nanami. I tried my best but she is stubborn.”

“I understand. My apologies for coming this late at night. I shall get going.”

“Thanks, Nanami. Good night.”

With a sinking heart, Nanami retreats to your shared home. He knew you wouldn’t come back with him, but the last thing he wanted to see before going to sleep is his loving wife’s face. This is the first night he spends without you safe and sound in his arms.

“Rise and shine, Missy. Breakfast is ready.”

“Good morning to you too.” You reply in a raspy voice.

It is the next morning and Shoko bursts into the bedroom to wake you up. Sunshine flows through the curtains illuminating the whole area. You stretch out of the bed after a good night’s sleep; much better and recharged.

As you reach the kitchen table, you find delicious pastries from your favourite cafe. Cheddar and Turkey filled croissants, raspberry tarte and much more.

“Nanami passed by and brought them. You were still asleep and he didn’t want me to wake you up.”

Your cheeks turn pink at the mention of his name. You find yourself bashful and start missing him already.

“I think I will text him after I am done.” “You better do it, Mrs. Kento.”

“Shoko!!” She teases you with a wink.

True to your words, you grab your phone after finishing breakfast to thank Kento. Unlocking the phone, his texts are the first thing you notice.

Kento 💙: Good morning, sweetheart. I brought you your favourite breakfast. Please eat well.

Kento 💙: I miss you, so much. Home isn’t the same without you.

Kento 💙: I hope I can see you soon.

Your heart swells with love from his texts. You do miss him too, but a bit shy to tell him so. Taking a picture of the empty pastry boxes, you text him a “Thank you 💖” message. Kento immediately replies.

Kento 💙: I am glad you liked them. Have a good day, love.

Later on, you and Shoko decided to spend the day at the nearby park. The weather is warm and sunny; too good to be wasted. You pack some snacks, drinks, along with a light lunch. You also bring UNO, your favourite card game. As you both arrive at the park, you pick a good spot beside this big tree. The park is quiet today, it is Monday after all. The area surrounding you is full of greenery, pretty flowers flowing from the bushes, white butterflies dancing around them, and birds chirping on tree branches. You sigh in content, smiling at Shoko being grateful for making such a good decision. 

“I see you in a good mood.” Shoko smirks at you.

“That’s a fact, thankfully.” Grinning at Shoko, you take out the UNO pack to start playing with her. Time passes by when you are having a good time. After five matches, both of you get tired and hungry. It is almost five when you are unpacking your lunches. 

“Have you decided on anything?” Shoko asks as she takes a bite from her sandwich.

“I think I am going home tonight. I can’t leave Kento all this time by himself.”

“Ohhh, someone is homesick after all.” She teases you.

“I do miss him, Shoko. Whatever happens between us, it won’t stop me from loving him and fixing things together.”

“Alright, alright, Missy. Eat up while it is still fresh.”

You nod at her and start eating while you enjoy the scenery. After a while, your mind wanders, lost in thought about Kento. 

“Is something wrong?” Shoko asks as she is waving her hand, seeing you lost in thought.

“No, it is just that I haven’t heard from Kento since morning. I wonder if he is alright.” Worry starts showing on your face.

“Speaking of which, turn around to find out.” Shoko chuckles.

“What are you talking about, Shoko?” 

Confused, you do turn around to find your blonde husband from a distance walking towards you, in his beige suit and blue shirt, looking fine as always, hiding something behind his back. As he approaches with a soft smile, you get up on your feet to greet him. You hold your hands to your chest, your beating heart is dancing with happiness as he reaches you.

“Hello, darling.” Kento softly speaks as he caresses your cheek.

“Hello, Kento.” You reply blissfully, leaning into his touch.

“I brought you this. Please accept my apology.” 

From behind his back, he gives you a big bouquet of pretty white tulips, your favourite kind of flowers. 

“Oh my god, Kento. You really didn’t have to.” 

You joyfully receive them, holding them dearly in your embrace.

“That’s the least I can do to you, love. I would bring the whole world to you if I could.” 

He is glad that you accepted his apology. Sighing in content, as he holds your hand into his, he is sure of your answer when he asks, “Will you come home with me?” “Yes, Kento. Let’s go home together.”

Giggling to each other, you hear Shoko clapping at this happy ending.

“Well, well, well. The two love birds are finally back together.” 

Wiping her fake tears, you and Kento laugh at her sense of humour. Kento thanks her for taking care of you, and you give her a big hug for being such a great friend. You help her pack everything back, but this time, you are going back home with Kento.

[morganwrites12672]

Abandon

Sam Winchester x Reader

Summary: After the worst fight he's ever had with his father, Sam goes to the only person he can for comfort.

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: ANGST. John is a piece of shit. Arguing. Crying. Daddy issues.

A/N: Have fun crying!

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Whenever Sam had finally gotten back from visiting her, he hadn't expected Dean and John to be waiting up for him in the small living room of the motel. He awkwardly shrugged off his jacket before tossing it over the back of the couch.

He could feel his father's eyes burning into his skin. John must be pissed off about something. It seemed like Sam couldn't do anything without upsetting the older man. His good mood vanished.

"You have something you want to tell me?" John asked, and Sam just knew. He knew exactly what John meant. There was nothing else that would have his father looking this pissed.

Sam swallowed thickly, he shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans. He looked between Dean and John. John looked pissed, his fists clenched, his jaw tight. Dean looked different. He looked almost happy, he looked satisfied. A smug smirk tugged at Dean's lips.

Dean was convinced that John was going to fix everything. He thought that his father would be able to fix this. Once all of this was over, Sam would stay. Everything would work out. If only Dean didn't put so much blind trust into his father. Maybe then he would have realized what would actually happen.

"No sir."

Sam knew that his father wouldn't be satisfied with this response. No, the older man would be pissed off. Nothing Sam said would make it right. No matter what he did his father would still probably lose his shit. This was going to be an argument from Hell.

"Don't you fucking lie to me!" John growled. He pulled something out of his pocket, a letter. Not just any letter though. The letter. Sam's acceptance letter for Stanford.

"How-" Sam didn't get to finish his sentence.

"You applied for Stanford," John said. It was a statement, not a question. The evidence was quite literally being gripped in John's hand.

Sam's nerves coiled in his gut, ready to explode. He could feel his heart hammering in his chest. This argument was the very thing that Sam had wanted to avoid at all costs. He wasn't quite sure how he had planned to avoid it though. Telling John might have made it better rather than the older man figuring it out, or being told by someone else.

"I'm going," Sam blurted, standing up a little straighter. He wouldn't keep letting his father walk all over him. He would go to Stanford. After everything he had sacrificed for other people, he would do this for himself. Hunting could wait a few years.

"I just want to-" For the second time that night, John cut Sam off.

"Like hell you are! I won't let you abandon this family," John snapped as he stood. He slammed the letter down onto the table. He couldn't believe the way Sam was speaking. "Would you really do that? Would you really abandon your brother and I?"

"No. Dad listen, I am going to Stanford!" Sam shouted back at John. He wasn't abandoning Dean or his father. No, he was just trying to go to college.

"It's that damn whore," John sneered. It didn't matter that he was talking about his friends daughter, he was also talking about the girl who he thought had been a bad influence on Sam. "She's been putting all of these ideas into your head. She-"

It was Sam's turn to cut John off. Hearing his father talk about her that way made Sam's blood boil. He took a steadying breath. Just yelling at his father wouldn't do any good. He needed to be somewhat logical. Though, he struggled to think of anything decent to say after what he had heard his father call her.

Dean was watching everything go down. Now that he'd seen how this argument was going he might have a few regrets. He'd seen Sam and his father argue, a lot. It had never been this bad though. Hearing what his father had to say about her though, that made Dean regret everything. Being around her was the happiest Dean had ever seen his brother. He couldn't believe that his father would insult her like that. She wasn't a bad influence on Sam, not in the slightest.

"Don't call her that," Sam said through a clenched jaw. "She has done nothing wrong! It was my idea to apply for Stanford. I am not abandoning this family! I'm going to college!"

"Don't you fucking come back! If you aren't going to do the job, and be apart of this family, don't you ever come back," John snarled.

Sam's expression changed in an instant. He felt his chest tighten, panic spreading throughout his body. He knew by looking at johns face that his father wasn't kidding.

Sam grabbed his jacket, the letter from Stanford, and his laptop case before walking out the door. He had a lump in his throat as he walked down the row of motel room doors. Looking around the parking lot, he was thankful that it was empty.

"Sammy! Wait!" Dean yelled, running out of the motel room door after his younger brother. He was panicking at this point. Things weren't supposed to end like this. He couldn't believe that Sam would leave like this.

"Don't call me that," Sam snapped at his brother, not bothering to turn around. "Leave me the hell alone Dean."

The older Winchester brother stopped in his tracks. He had fucked up, everything had went wrong. It was too late now. Sam had clearly made up his mind. There was nothing Dean would be able to do to stop his brother.

Sam walked. And he just kept walking. His jacket protected him from the ice cold gushes of wind blowing. He walked towards the only place he had left to go; her house. She was his escape. He needed her, right now especially.

The disgusting words that John had spoke of her made Sam's blood boil. He walked faster. He stuffed his hands in the pockets of his jacket, hiding them away from the brisk cold.

She was the best part of his day. Hearing his father call her that, and the way the older man talked about her made him sick. She deserved so much better. She didn't do anything wrong. No, the opposite. She made everything better.

The thought of her smile was only able to hinder the tears building up for so long. Sam only walked faster. His long, gangly legs could only carry him so fast though.

The walk to her house didn't take long. Sam practically ran. His eyes had long ago welled up with tears, he sniffled as he finally spotted her house. He walked up to the front porch and hesitated. It was late. What if her parents answered instead of her?

He didn't knock on the door. Instead, he sent her a quick text asking if she could open the front door for him. He prayed to anything out there that might listen to him that she was still awake. He wouldn't risk her parents coming to the door, even if he knew that they wouldn't be upset.

His tear stained cheeks glimmered in the moonlight. He wiped at his cheeks with the sleeve of his jacket, trying to hide some of the tears from view. However, he knew that the second she opened the door that she would know. It would be impossible for her not too.

She could take one look at Sam and read him like a god-damn book. It was nice to be understood like that. Dean and his father had never actually listened to him about anything. He felt like an outsider. He don't feel anywhere near like that around her.

His train of thought was interrupted as he heard the click of a deadbolt sliding open. The front door creaked open. Standing in the doorway, there she was. Her pajama pants hung low on her hips, exposing a small section of her waist before her tank top covered the rest of her skin up. She looked tired as hell, yet she still gave Sam a gentle smile.

She stepped aside wordlessly, letting Sam into the house. Her eye brows drew together in concern as she noticed his tear stained cheeks. As Sam stepped inside, she quickly (and quietly) shut the door. The dead bolt snapped into place.

As she turned around she noticed that Sam had already began walking to her bedroom. Her house was more like a home to Sam than any other place. He did spend a lot of time here. Not that her parents minded.

Her parents loved Sam. They had always welcomed him in with open arms. And, they ignored all of the times they caught Sam sleeping over. They just appreciated that their daughter was spending time with someone her age. Having such a an odd lifestyle made it difficult to maintain friendships.

Whenever she walked into her bedroom, Sam was already sitting on her bed. His head was titled downwards, his eyes seemed to be locked on her rug. She noticed that he had discarded his shoes and jacket already. His jacket hung on the back of her desk chair, and his shoes sat in the corner of her room.

She sat next to Sam and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. He shuddered beneath her touch. More tears burned at his eyes and he fought to keep the emotion out of his voice as he spoke

"H-he found out," Sam whispered in a fragile voice. With anyone else he would have cringed at how vulnerable he sounded. He sniffled again, trying to prevent the tears from pouring down his cheeks again.

Her heart dropped. She was suddenly wide awake. That was the worst possible thing that could happen. She still remembered how excited Sam had been to show her his acceptance letter. All of that excitement had been ruined by John.

"Oh my God. . . Sam-"

"I'm still going to S-Stanford," He looked up at her as a few tears finally escaped down his cheeks. "My dad. . . my dad told me not to come back."

She didn't hesitate before pulling him into a tight hug. It was awkward since they were both sitting down but she didn't care in the slightest. Sam broke down in her arms. Hot tears poured down his cheeks.

"It's going to be okay, you're going to be okay." Her voice was gentle, the polar opposite to how his father had spoken to him earlier.

It was moments like this that made Sam realize how lucky he was to have her. He wouldn't know what to do without her. Especially tonight. His heart has been brutally ripped apart by his father, now she would work on helping him pick up the pieces.

They were always there for each other. It was something that could be so very simple that most people didn't notice it. The way that Sam would subconsciously reach for her anytime things went South, the way she always seemed to find her way into Sam's arm after a case or fight with her parents, the way she always made sure Sam had somewhere to go.

And yet, the two had stuck with the title of best friends. Neither one of them wanted to change it much, not yet anyway. There might have been occasional thoughts that definitely weren't the kind you thought about friends though.

Her warm touch brought Sam back to the present moment. It reminded him that things didn't have to be so bad. He might have lost his father, and maybe even Dean too, but he still had her.

"You can stay here until you leave for Stanford."

Sam' head jerked up. That was months away. He had planned to- he actually didn't know what he had planned to do. He would have figured something out though. No matter how hard it was.

Sam cleared his throat, "No, I can't ask your parents to do that."

"Too bad," She retorted. "You live with us until you leave for Stanford." Her voice was firm and left no room for argument.

Her parents would understand. They always did. Even if her father and John were friends, she knew that her mother would be able to persuade her father into letting Sam stay with them. Her mother was good at doing that. Nobody could say no to that woman.

"Thank you," Sam whispered. He then rubbed his eyes, wiping away the tear streaks. It would never make sense to Sam. He couldn't believe that she cared about him this much. He was a black sheep with his family. He was the one who caused problems and didn't belong. He didn't feel that way here. He felt just as much apart of the family as she actually was.

The two fell into a comfortable silence. She kept her arms wrapped around Sam. He felt like her arms were the only thing holding him together. His own father had just kicked him out! Sam couldn't believe that Dean had shown the letter. It hurt.

None of that mattered right now. He couldn't go back in time to fix things. He had to live with everything that had just happened. He had to figure it out.

Maybe things wouldn't be so bad. He could get through anything with her by his side.

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A/N: The biggest thanks to @tranquilitybasegrunge and @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles for beta reading parts of this for me!

Tag List: @thatsthewaythechrissycrumbles @aidansloth @jaredpadonlyyyy @zeppette @moonl1ghtsworld @tranquilitybasegrunge

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[reidspharb]

The Moment I Knew

*Part two

Summary: Spencer misses your 25th birthday and that’s when you realize your relationship can’t be fixed.

Word count: 800 or something idk ICBA shes a short one

Warnings: angst, Reid is a shitty boyfriend in this one

Note: hi this was written at 3 am and I’m new to writing so if this sucks sorry anyways but I got this idea from Taylor Swifts song by the Same name and I thought I would write it so yeah enjoy

Sure, you were so happy all your friends were there and everyone was having a good time… but you couldn’t help but think about Spence.

It was 10 pm, the party started at 8 and he still wasn’t there like he promised. You couldn’t help but think about him coming through the door right now, gifts in hand as he did on your last birthday with that baby I’m right here smile.

You knew he couldn’t be here, and you knew how much he valued his work, but, he wasn’t even on a case far away… he was here, in Virginia, and he couldn’t even call to wish you a happy birthday.

Your eyes were locked on the door most of the time as you socialized. People asked about him, about your relationship, and the most you could give them was a sad smile and a dishonest word about how great everything was going.

“So how have you been,” your friend Sarah said as she laughed and took a sip of her drink “I mean I feel like I haven’t seen you in forever!”

you plastered on the brightest fake smile you could and mustered up an answer just normal enough to get you by.

“I've been okay, you know, with work and everything.”

All you could think about was him, how he said he would be there. He told you- no he promised you weeks in advance that he would be here. But he’s not.

You felt stupid, standing there all dolled up in your tight black dress and red lipstick. You thought maybe if you dressed up nice he would make sure to be there, but then again, there you were with no one to impress.

You knew it was hopeless, there you were on your birthday staring at the door and watching the clock tick as everyone around you danced and laughed. You looked around the room, trying to spot him in the crowd but who were you fooling, you knew he wasn’t there.

As you listened to your loved ones sing happy birthday around you, you could only hear his voice in your memory. When you blew out those candles your only wish was for him to be there with you. You should’ve been so happy, but he was the one thing missing.

Then it was 1 am, and you were barely tipsy. you already had a nervous stomach, you knew drinking would only make it worse. By now you were sick of everyone being around you, you just wanted to be alone. You stumbled to the bathroom over some discarded red cups and locked yourself in there, tears burning at your eyes when you saw yourself in the mirror.

You did your makeup the way he liked it too so that if you sent pictures he really wouldn’t miss it, such a naive thing to think you told yourself. You heard a knock on your door and there were your two best friends, Tegan and Oliver, mixed with the emotions of seeing them staring at you with so much pity in their eyes and Spencer being away made you break down.

Tegan held you as you sobbed, mascara dripping down your cheeks with every tear.

“He said- he said he would be here…”

“I'm so sorry, love bug, I wish I could grab him and rip him into pieces. You deserve so much better.” Said Oliver, holding your cold hands.

You felt so embarrassed, sitting there in front of your friends crying about some stupid boy. But he was the one who meant the most to you and he wasn’t there.

The next morning you woke up on your couch, head pounding. Your apartment was trashed, there were plastic cups scattered all over the room. As you stepped over them to get ready for the day, you felt a sharp pain in your chest as you heard Spencer’s familiar ringtone playing from your phone.

“Hey doll, it’s me” he sighed on the other line of the phone.

“Hi, Spencer.” You mumbled. You knew it would hurt to say his whole name instead of the nickname you’d been calling him since the day you met him.

“I'm so sorry I didn’t make it babe I was caught up in paperwork and I lost tra-“ you interrupted his rambling, you didn’t care anymore.

“It’s fine. I’ll talk to you later Spencer.” You hissed into the phone before hitting the red button on the screen and setting your phone back down on the counter.

That was the moment you knew.

That was the moment you knew that this would never work out.

[yuri-is-online]

Sorry for making you explain all the yutus but can you do Jades? Bros gotta be so overprotective 😬

Jokes on you I am always down to talk about Jade Leech (my beloved)

notes: they/them used for Yuu, for context on the fyuuture kid au can be found here and here. I think I typed up way more for this than anyone else up to this point, I'd apologize but it has been a second since I brain rotted about Jade, so excuse me for feeding myself (づ_ど)

Put yourself in Jade's shoes for a second.  He is a merfolk from the coral sea, only able to appear human through the use of a potion but still retaining his inhuman features.  He tries hard to appear human, he goes to a boot camp where so many things have to be explained that he is able to mimic but doesn't fully understand.  There's no reason for you to like him, he knows that better than anyone; he doesn't fully understand why he's attracted to you himself but he is.  And he longed after you for so long, he was drowning in his desire that had such a little chance of being reciprocated but by some miracle it was.  You stay in Twisted Wonderland, you let him take you under the sea and agree to be kept there.  You're going to give him a family, he's beyond excited and filled with feelings of love he didn't think he'd ever get to have.

And then it's gone.  There's no evidence as to why, no one to tell him where you went.  Azul starts off confident, excited at the prospect of revenge and encouraging Jade.  They'll find them, between him, Jade, and Floyd they'll find Yuu and someone will have a very bad day.  But there's nothing, they're being lied to and stonewalled at every turn and when finally (it's been 10 months 3 weeks and two days, he could count down to the hours and seconds but who would listen?) Riddle of all people contacts them with a lead, he's dead almost immediately.  Turned into a phantom, all of those friends of yours he was so jealous of too… no one is telling him but he knows.  You're not coming back, he's never going to meet your child, he failed at a moray's one job of protecting his cleaner shrimp.  When he's alone he talks to you both sometimes, nights when you can see the stars are becoming increasingly rare as the sky flares up with ink but he likes to think you found your way up to the sky.  

When he loses Floyd and Azul he sort of loses his will to live.  The only thing that keeps him going is the promise of one day being able to lay them both to rest eventually, but until then he bar tends at NRC and listens to all the little things people talk about when the world is ending. If he was in a better place he'd probably find it funny how lose people's lips are getting, Azul’s business would be doing so well if he were here now…

That's what he's doing one day in September when one of the mage students runs up to him out of breath, Sehrish he thinks her name is?  

“The headmage needs you in the hospital wing!”  She sounds scared, out of breath like she's run the whole way and Jade is just curious enough to go.  Something spurs him on to run himself, through the mirror and into the wing and-  

He doesn't even hesitate, his body acts before his brain does launching him towards you and grasping desperately at your hands.  They're cold, you're going cold and he doesn't have the warmth in his body to give you.  Something has mercy on him and let's your eyes open just the bit as you reach just as desperate to be close to him as he is to you and he feels your strength pass into him.  

“Don't apologize.”  He manages to whisper.  

“But I'm sorry.”  You cry.  “I love you so much and I couldn't forget even though they wanted me to.”  

“Who did this.  Who took you just name them and I promise you my pearl-”  he gets to kiss you one more time before your gone.  Jade doesn't move, he thinks Crewel is yelling for his attention but he can't move, he wants to stay here forever he has to protect you, why wasn't he able to protect you?!

“Oh holy fuck that tastes bad.”  There's a dazed voice Jade has never heard before, heavy with sorrow, and though he doesn't quite have it yet, Jade feels purpose begin to return to his heart.

Jade! Yutu is a menace.  I like the idea of him being some form of punk or goth, with piercings and a few tattoos that Yuu doesn't know anything about.  He grew up with a small group of close knit alt friends who would come over to Yuu's house and shoot the shit.  Yuu was really popular with Yutu's friends actually, he had mixed feelings about that. (No, his parent isn't accepting step-father applications, Joshua, keep running your mouth and see what happens)

Has a mixed ranged of emotions about his parent's amnesia. When he was younger not knowing who his dad was made him really sad, he'd listen to other kids talk about doing things with their fathers and he'd dream about doing them with his dad, but the picture was always blurry and felt just... wrong somehow. As he gets older and starts forming his world view he starts to think his dad might have left Yuu for any number of reasons. Did it happen before or after their amnesia, that's what he wants to know.

He has a pretty big problem with authority, residual trauma from the trip across worlds he thinks now… but back in your world he just didn't see the point of respecting someone just because they have more money and power than him.  Almost everyone does, that doesn't make them special!  But he's so sneaky about it, if it weren't for his clothes or his friends Yuu would hardly know what he gets up to in his spare time. It put a bit of strain on their relationship, Yutu sees his lies as something he does to protect his parent, while Yuu sees themselves as well.  A parent.  Who is the one who should be protecting their child not the other way around.  

When he tries to pull similar stunts with Original Timeline! Jade he gets a rude awakening. He tries sneaking out to meet up with some friends only to find his dad sitting with them, polite smile on his face clearly reveling in how awkward he is making this.  Oya, did Yutu think he was being slick?  He's hurt, no really this is the first time Jade has had to fake cry in years, he'd almost forgot how.  Didn't Yutu ever wonder where he got this from?  Because he had to know it wasn't Yuu.

Jade! Yutu also played in a band in middle school and also played bass, it just wasn't a jazz trio or an upright bass.  He would have liked continued to play in bands, but he shares his dad's issues with stage fright which makes it sort of difficult. He has tried his hand at writing his own music from time to time, but he's waaaaay too shy to ever play it for anyone other than the woods.

He really likes horror stories and cryptids, so he wasn't super afraid of the monsters when he first arrived in Twisted Wonderland.  One round with Phantom Riddle changed that nonchalant attitude quick, and while he still is very attached to the stuff he read about back in your world he hates blot monsters and Twisted Wonderland fiends in general.

Speaking of those monsters, Jade hates Yutu fighting them.  Father and son are an absolute nightmare for Crewel to deal with, one is threatening to drown him if Yutu is allowed to fight, the other is screaming curse words and saying it doesn't matter what Crewel does, he's going anyway.  He needs a drink (but not from Jade's bar he's going to get poisoned) 

I don't think Yutu actually told Jade he was planning on going back in time because he was angry and just assumed that he would try and stop him.  He's really proud of himself for the first few weeks he spends in the past thinking he got one over on his old man finally (he didn't, but he did hurt him quite a bit), but the more he interacts with the younger version of his parents the more he starts to regret that decision.

Past Jade is so… fun.  He thinks his dad is fun?!  His weird obsession with mushrooms was never something they talked about beyond a few compliments his dad gave to a mushroom patch he had on his jacket; watching his old man prattle on now he never would have guessed any of this.  Yutu never doubted that Jade loved you, but he didn't really think about what that looked like, or what you might have meant to Jade.  They just didn't talk about it, now that he's forced to think about it Jade was probably trying to focus on having him back and how lucky he was to even have that.  And instead of being honest about how angry he was to have lost you he lied and said he was fine.  With how good his dad was at knowing when he was lying Jade had to know that's how he felt, but respected his boundaries and didn't push. All those comments about being there when he's ready to talk, all the times Jade said he loved him, and those long nights he watched from afar as Jade sat with tea next to your grave, just talking to you as if you were still there are put into context. Yutu isn't able to sleep for a few nights after that.

Jade finds Yutu interesting.  He's a potential source of information about Yuu, a lot of his quirks remind him of himself and he finds the new kids blatant disrespect for authority to be hilarious! And hilariously good blackmail material, now now don't be afraid he really is just here to help...

"Nice try old man you won't pull shit out of me." Yutu sounds smug, but Jade knows when his spell has worked and when it hasn't; how delightful he doesn't seem to remember someone ever being so cocky about it before.

"That's a shame." He makes sure to make his face fall to keep the new kid off his guard as he continues his questioning. "It's just I am curious where did you come from? I thought Yuu's world doesn't have magic."

"I mean it doesn't, probably never would have been able to come back in time if I was still stuck there." Yutu blinks, clarity starting to come into view as Jade pushes through the surprise to ask a final question.

"Oya? And just why did you come back in time, were you worried about Yuu?"

"Of course I'm worried about my parent what sort of stupid question is-" Yutu returns to himself and treats Jade to a look of shock so rare and downright delightful he can't help but smile himself. "Hey just what did you do?"

Old man? What a disrespectful thing to call his father, no wonder his future self never told his son about his unique magic. Jade doesn't have time to doubt his affections for Yuu, once Yutu realizes he's fucked and can't get out of admitting that was the truth he tells Jade who he is and a bit about what the future is like. Jade can tell he's keeping a few details back, but he knows himself well enough to know that everything Yutu is describing would have changed him to a degree that he might not have been in the best mental space to help his son through the loss of Yuu.

Speaking of Yuu, Jade asks Yutu to keep his existence to himself for a bit. He wants to win over your affections without the help of the future looming in your thoughts, he only gets to have this part of his life with you once and he intends to savor it. But the confidence boost he gets from knowing you do end up as his mate does have him acting a bit goofy for a bit. Floyd and Azul are legitimately scared.

They are brought up to speed as Jade insists on introducing Yutu to them "properly" and he is every inch the proud father showing off their new baby to the relatives even though Yutu is practically his height and has a bunch of piercings. Floyd takes a liking to him immediately while Azul is a bit more awkward, not that he doesn't like Yutu he's just a lot different from anyone Azul has ever met before so he's unsure how to sell himself. Luckily he doesn't have to because Yutu appreciates his genuine self just like Floyd, Jade, and Yuu do.

Jade gladly invites Yutu to join the Mountain Lover's Club and is very excited when he says yes. Yutu finds a lot of enjoyment in helping his dad work mushrooms into Azul and Floyd's food by pretending to agree with their complaints. Floyd is so mad he calls Yuu and tells them to come get their kid.

The over protectiveness doesn't end exactly, but Yutu is more willing to understand and Jade is more able to explain himself. They're both extremely protective of Yuu and in sound agreement that nothing like Yutu's future can ever be allowed to come to pass. Jade wanted a family, so to learn that he got that and someone took it away from him? Future him was overwhelmed with grief but current him is overwhelmed with rage. Remember book four? He described what he would do to someone who betrayed him, and it wasn't pretty. His plans for whoever did this to his precious mate and child is going to get so much worse.

[turcott3]

unwritten

ethan edwards x fem! reader

warnings?: cursing, angst, fluff, kisses

masterlist

-

you hopped off your bed to the light taps on your door. you opened the door expecting to see your mom but instead are met with the presence of your long time close friend.

“ethan?” you question, scanning the look on his face. to you, he was never hard to read and you could tell something was wrong.

“can i come in?” he asks.

“yeah yeah of course.” you say back up and letting the boy into your room. you sit back in your spot on the bed as he stands in silence after putting his bag down, typing something on his phone.

“what’s wrong with you?” you ask, noting his unbreakable frown.

“huh?”

“what’s wrong? are you okay?” you ask.

“yeah i just-“ he starts and pauses, trying to think of what to say. you could tell he was holding back.

“just spill, you know i wouldn’t judge you.” you say, hoping to soothe the boy, something you’d figured out years ago.

“well, you know it was my last day of classes and i’d been talking to one of my classmates, in class of course, and we were kinda like getting close and flirting whatever. like an in class crush type of deal and i was gonna ask for her number today but then. fuck.” he pauses, pressing his lips to a thin line.

“and then?” you urge him to continue.

“she fucking asked me if luca was single.” he sighs out.

“well that’s just rude of her.” you say, seeing how he would react.

“i gave her his snap and stuff but like, i don’t know. it made me feel really terrible.”

“i mean that’s fair, but why?”

“because y/n. this shit always happens to me. every single time i think i have a shot at a girl, she wants one of my friends. like am i not good enough? not attractive? like what’s so wrong with me that i can’t be wanted.” he breathes out.

“oh eddy.” you frown, beckoning him to sit on your bed.

“i’m sorry, that was a lot you probably didn’t wanna hear.”

“no no, keep talking, i know there’s more. it’ll make you feel better.” you say placing a sympathetic hand on his arm.

“i just want someone to love me and to want me. i’m 21 for christs sake. all of my teammates and my friends have girlfriends. i just feel left out and it sucks. i’m happy for them of course but i just want someone for me to love and they love me back. i really don’t feel like im asking that much.” he says, trying to hide the tears that fell as he spoke from his heart.

“no one will sit and listen to how i feel, ever. the feeling of being unwanted is like this endless fucking void that can’t just be filled by hookups, i just feel myself slipping deeper everyday.” he continues, less shy about his tears now. you lean up and wrap your arms around him in his fragile state, causing him to release the damn that threatened to break. you lean back, holding the brunette to your chest. the two of you were never very physical but at this moment it was the only thing you could think of to help him.

“i’ll listen ethan, i’ll always listen to you. i’ll always be here for you. it’s gonna be okay.” you say, hugging onto him tighter. you hated seeing him this upset, you’d never seen him like this before and it broke your heart. you found yourself shedding a few tears yourself. he sits up from your grip and observes your state, tears dampening your cheeks.

“why are you crying y/n?” he perks up, wiping the tears that fell.

“because ed, i can’t stand hearing you say this. i can’t believe YOU feel unwanted and unloved. people are stupid to not see who you are. ethan, you’re so lovable and everyone is a fucking dumbass for not wanting you. you’re the sweetest guy i’ve ever met, and i know we’ve been friends since forever ago but i feel awful. i feel like i could do more to make you feel better.” you say remaining strong on your statement, the urge to cry fading away.

“how about this, you stay the night with me. we have a movie night and stay up and talk and then tomorrow we have a lake day. just me and you.” you offer as he nuzzles back to your chest. an unfamiliar feeling.

“your dad will let us take the boat?” he asks.

“i mean he won’t let anyone else drive it except you so.” you giggle.

“for real?” he says sitting up.

“yes.”

“sick.” he replies, getting comfortable on his side of the bed for the night. the two of you sat in a soothing silence as a movie played on your tv. as the a/c kicked in you grew cold, goosebumps littering your skin. you buried yourself under your comforter, trying to avoid making your discomfort being obvious.

“you good?” he asks.

“yeah, just really fucking freezing.”

“come here.” he says pulling the covers over him, pulling you to his side. you drape your arm over his toned and shirtless abdomen, you heart rate spiking at the contact. you didn’t know why you felt so nervous. well you did, but you weren’t going to admit it.

“thank you eddy.”

“of course y/n/n.” he smiles, placing his chin on top of your head. you could get used to the feeling of being in his warm embrace. as the night continued, you hardly lost contact with each other. talking and laughing in the comfort of his arms.

“you think we should go to sleep?” you sit up checking the time on your phone.

“probably, we got a busy day tomorrow.” he giggles, shutting your tv off and laying down getting comfortable.

“g’night ethan.”

“night y/n, sleep good.” he says quietly as the two of you drifted off to sleep with the thought of each other on your minds.

-

“you ready?” you ask standing on your back deck.

“as i’ll ever be.” he smiles, taking the bag from you and walking down the deck. he steps onto the bought tossing the back to the ground before reaching out a hand to help you onto the boat.

“thank you kind sir.”

“of course madam.” he replies and a smile spreads widely across your cheeks.

“alright let’s get this shit show on the road.” he says turning the key, the engine kicking on.

“please don’t get me beat up this time.” you say grabbing onto his shoulders.

“i’ll try.” he smiles as you sit in the co pilot seat.

“good.” you reply, relaxing as he cruised off smoothly. you loved watching him drive as he smiled, bringing the two of you to corners of the lake you hadn’t seen before, your heart fluttering as he talked about all the good memories he had with his buddies there, but the feeling of sadness oozing its way in. he hasn’t been with them much outside of hockey in months, let alone here on the lake.

he slowed the boat to a stop, shutting off the engine and tossing the anchor off the edge. you were in a quiet area, no other boats anywhere to be found. he sat back in his seat without a word. you stretched your arms out as you got comfortable in your seat, ethan taking your hand in his from across the walkway. your face slowly turning pink as he adjusted his grip on your hand as he sat on his phone. his thumb brushing back and forth on your knuckles gently.

“hey eddy.” you say and he looks up not letting go.

“i’m glad you’re here with me.” you smile, squeezing his hand.

“me too.”

“i’ve never seen these parts of the lake before, they’re gorgeous.” you say, taking in the territory around you.

“i was hoping i could make some new memories here.” he smiles turning his head to look at you.

“well i hope im doing an okay job.”

“you’re doing more than okay y/n.” he giggles, a blush spreading across his face. you stand up out of your chair, sadly letting go of his hand.

“shall we?” you ask, holding up your life jackets.

“we shall.” he smiles. moments later, the two of you jumping into the water.

“jesus it’s cold.” you say re-emerging from the water.

“a little yeah.” ethan giggles, shaking the water out of his hair. you swim over to him, wrapping your arms gently around his neck, resting your chin on his shoulder from behind.

“i think that’s a little better.” he says quietly.

“yeah.” you sigh. the two of you remained in the water for a while longer swimming and talking, laughing. it felt nice to be out on the lake alone with your best friend, who you soon hoped would be more than that.

“should we go find a new spot?” ethan asks, helping you back onto the boat.

“yeah we should.” you reply, wrapping yourself in a towel and sitting on the bench seat, ethan plopping down right next to you.

“today has been really fun y/n.” he smiles at you.

“yeah it has.” you reply.

“for the first time in a while i’m not worried about anything else. i haven’t felt this content in so long.”

“me either ed. i’m so happy to be here with you right now.” you smile, taking his hand back into yours. you say in a comfortable silence for a brief moment before he takes your cheeks into his hands, bringing your lips to his for a moment. he pulls away as your face burns red. you were scared he would regret it.

“i’m sorry that was-“ he starts and you interrupt him by pulling him back to your lips, melting into the kiss instantly, his hands placed delicately on your waist as your hands rest comfortably on his cheeks. you pull away giggling as he’s forehead lands on your collar bone. you kiss him on the temple as he sits up.

“let’s go to a new spot yeah?” you ask, brushing his hair out of his face.

“okay.” he smiles softly, the two of you taking your place back in your seats.

-

you say freshly showered on your bed as ethan returns, brushing his hair dry with his towel. he tosses the towel in your hamper and hops back onto your bed, finding his way cuddled to your side.

“hey ethan.” you say, twisting his damp locks between your fingers.

“yeah?” he asks leaning up a bit.

“seeing you so fragile yesterday was honestly really hard for me, i wasn’t really sure why but, i know now.”

“what was it?”

“because all this time i wanted you.”

“what do you mean?”

“i want you ed. i want to hold you, kiss you, love you. it broke my heart hearing how unwanted you felt. but it hurt me because i had gone so long feeling this way and ignored my feelings.“ you admit and he smiles.

“i’ve liked you for years, i was just scared you’d never feel the same way. i just wanted female attention to replace how i felt about you. i didn’t wanna ruin our friendship.”

“i love you ethan. so much. please let me love you, the way you deserve it.” you say as he pulls you into his chest.

“thank you y/n. god, i love you so fucking much.” he replies lifting your chin with two fingers and bringing your lips back to his, the two of you now more inseparable than before.

-

[oliviablancmom]

"Pedriiii"

Pairing: Pedri Gonzalez x Singlemom!OC

Theme: Fluff, a little bit of angst.

N/A: To my dear Pedri's Girls who voted, it's finally here. I'm sorry for not posting it yesterday, but I ended up getting very tired and with some doubts. First about being a "reader" or OC, and I ended up choosing OC because I couldn't write without visualizing someone, and because while I was writing, the image of Hande Erçel came to my mind. Anyway, this is just an introduction, there will be three chapters and a bonus. I hope you like it, and that you fall in love with them as I did.

"I can't believe it, Fer. I can't believe it happened again. When I think everything is going to be fine, something like this happens," Pedri lamented. His brother was already upset with the situation.

"I know, brother, we will get through this, as we always do." Pedri ran his hands over his face. "I need to call mom, she's is worried." Pedri just agreed while his brother walked outside the box. At the same time he left, a little boy entered the private space. He stopped in his tracks when he noticed Pedri.

"You are crying?" The boy cautiously approached Pedri and then kneeled on the floor beside the player, his elbows resting on the sofa where Pedri was sitting. "My father says that men shouldn't cry, but my mother says that only real men cry."

Pedri laughs.

"Your mother is right. Are you alone here?" Pedri looked around looking for any adults, but it was just them. The little boy just nodded and then started looking for something in the pocket of the jacket he was wearing, and soon he was taking off his coat. Pedri noticed the name and number on it. "I liked the choice of shirt." The little boy looked at him, embarrassed.

"here" he finally takes out a handful of M&Ms from his pocket. "Mom and I always eat them when we are sad, and now that you are sad, you will feel better after eating them."

Pedri smiled at how adorable the little boy was and readily accepted the candy; he was too sad to think about his diet.

"Bye I have to go." He watched the little boy put on his jacket again, ready to leave.

"Hey, don't you want me to sign your shirt?"

The little boy looked at him cautiously and uncertainly, and Pedri could see that he was in an internal battle.

"My mother says I shouldn't bother the players"

"It's not a bother; you shared your sweets with me; we're friends now. The little boy's eyes opened so wide that Pedri was afraid they would jump out.

"Serious?" he asked uncertainly. Pedri just nodded and saw the boy's face light up.

"PEDRIIIIIII!!!" He gave an excited scream and ran to the player, hugging him. He was definitely controlling himself before, Pedro thought.

**********************************************

"Hey, do you plan on going to that nightclub again?" Pedri asked, trying to seem as uninterested as possible while continuing to do the exercise that the physical trainer gave him.

"What? Are you asking this? I thought these things weren't for you. Ferran mocked.

"It's because he's trying to find the woman he spent the night with," Gavi says, receiving a deadly look from Pedri.

"What, am I lying? You looked at every photo that marked the club's location on social media."

"Seriously Gavira, if you don't shut up..."

Pedri threatens, making the others laugh.

"It seems that only you were affected by the night since you woke up alone in the hotel room" said Ter Stegen, the goalkeeper who had been listening to the entire conversation in silence until now. Pedri looked directly at Gavi, knowing he was responsible for telling the details.

"Seriously, man, I'll never tell you anything again."

"What? I was just trying to help. Knowing if one of them saw the woman you were with that night. If I hadn't seen her, I would have thought it was a hallucination in your head."

Pedri rolled his eyes at the younger man's mockery.

"I know you were upset that you woke up there alone. 

"I wasn't," Pedri said defensively. "It was not a big deal." He said with a shrug, preferring to remain silent while focusing on the strengthening exercises, that it was better to forget the subject, either because Gavi was irritating him or because he had a grain of truth.

Nightclubs were not a place he normally frequented; he always preferred to stay at home watching a series or movie, but he had made an exception that night as he was upset because of the injury and the nasty comments he received, like it was his fault. It ended up that he didn't regret going at all; after all, it led to the best night of his life with the woman he would meet at the bar, and thanks to not consuming alcohol, he had recorded in his mind every detail of that night and the woman.

He remembered the exact moment she entered the place; his eyes immediately stayed on her; her presence attracted him like a magnet; and her long hair fell all over her back and down to her waist. The red lipstick and the huge, sweet smile she had. He remembered her scent and the woman's sharp tongue as he approached, not giving a damn about who he was. He had etched the dimple in her cheek every time she laughed at something he said, and God, her laughter was like music to his ears. He remembered how she pressed her body against his while they were on the dance floor and how all that tension took them both to a hotel room that night. What a night!

"Dude, stop thinking about her while you are with us." Ferran's voice takes Pedri out of his thoughts. Pedri looked at him confused.

"Your cheeks give you away, man," said Gavi, who had a small smile on the corner of his face. Pedri turned to the mirror, noticing the color that appeared on his face.

"Shit", he mumbled, shaking his head in an attempt to clear his mind.

"Although you met her in a nightclub, maybe you should look in other places, like churches or registry offices." He looked even more confused at Ferran, who had an ironic smile on his face. "You know, considering your history with women who end up being married and everything."

"Seriously, I'm done with you guys." Pedri stood up, moving away from his companions, who were laughing at the situation.

**********************************************"" Fans like to feel close to players, so we can continue investing in content with them in pairs or in groups. We can record some kind of challenge with the boys who have the most friendships about how much they know each other. Fans love knowing these details." The woman said to the social media girl as they walked down the corridor to the meeting room, where the rest of the communication team would be.

"Mom, mom, mom!" She turned, looking at the little boy who was running towards her.

"Hey, honey, what's wrong? Everything is fine?" She bent down to the child's height, who seemed to be in a hurry to be somewhere. "I'll be at the gym with my friend," he said impatiently, about to run again.

"What a friend? There is no place for children there" she said worriedly, placing her hand on her son's head.

"Mom, pleeeaaaase," he said while pulling the woman's bag, looking for something.

"Axel, breathe. What are you looking for?" She asked when her child threw all the things inside her bag on the floor.

"The cards that Grandpa gave me to show my friend, I FOUND." he said excitedly, shaking the cards in his hand.

"Bye mom, I love you." She watched as the boy disappeared down the corridor without even looking back, which made her curious to know who this friend was, and she made a mental checklist to ask when they were leaving. She also added to talking with her son about running around Ciutat Esportiva, she had the opportunity to bring him to work, but she knew it was best not to abuse the luck, even though he was normally a quiet child, these days, he always had to be somewhere.

**********************************************

The sound of Xavi's whistle signaled the end of training. He thanked all of the players, greeting each as they dispersed across the field. Some were already returning to the dressing room, and I remained there along with a few other guys.

"3, 2, 1...." Gavi says. Pedri raise his eyebrows in confusion, looking at him.

"PEDRIIIIIIIIIIII" Rafinha and Ferran say in a thin voice, clearly imitating the little boy who ran onto the field in our direction.

"He took so long to come this time," Gavi says, laughing at the scene. The little boy opens his arms and throws himself at Pedri, who holds him carefully.

"Hey little guy." He put him on the floor, and held out his hand for him to hit.

"Are you ready to play yet?" he asks, raising his eyebrows hopefully and looking the player up and down. It was the question he asked every day since he started showing up at the end of training to visit him, showing all his anxiety about seeing his favorite player return to the field.

"I'm almost there; I'm back to training now, but I'll be ready soon." The child makes a pout.

"My God, he have the same habit of arching the eyebrows and the things you do with your lips. It's too much Pedri for me." Rafinha says, laughing as he walks away. He ruffles the child's hair, and only then does the little one seem to realize the presence of the others. And his cheeks turn red, and then he hides behind Pedri's leg, who bends down and hugs him.

"the red cheeks and all." Are you sure you haven't been messing around?" Gavi continues. Pedri rolls his eyes at his friend, throwing the bottle he was holding at the youngest.

"Hey little guy, there's no need to be ashamed of us; we're cooler than him." Ferran says as he is trying to get the child's attention, making him hides his face in Pedri neck. The number eight smiles mockingly at Ferran, proud of the child's far-from-discreet preference.

"Don't flatter yourself; you didn't see the number he's wearing." Fermin scoffs.

"It's very good taste," Gavi says. Pedri turns the little boy in front of him.

" Axel!!! This is treason," Pedri says indignantly, as he sees the little boy wearing Gavi's number.

"My grandfather chose today. Gavi it's his favorite" he says with a shrug.

" But I like him a lot too." Gavi smiles, convinced, at his friend.

"Of course you like; you're the same size, of course you'll feel affinity." Gavi's smile dies immediately, and he raises the middle finger to Pedri.

"haha, Look who's talking, Pedri."

"Don't you think it's strange that he's here every day? " Pedri asks curiously.

"He must be some employee kid," Fermin concludes. "At most, the brother of one of the teenagers who are outside waiting for photos, he is small, manages to pass the security guards with no problem" They laughed again.

The little boy moves away from the player and looks for something in his pocket, and Pedri already knew what it was; after all, that had become their routine since they started meeting more often, whether in the CE or in the boxes on match days. Axel takes a handful of M&Ms from his pocket to share with the player.

"Just a little this time. My mother is suspicious." His eyes widen at the boy.

"You said your mother gave it to you, Axel," Pedri asks worriedly.

"Well, sometimes she gives it to me. But she says I can't eat all the time."

The boys were trying not to laugh, especially now that the boy was more welcome with them, casually kicking the ball for them.

"Great example, Pedriiiiiii." Ferran scoffs; Pedri rolls his eyes; it wasn't his fault; well, in part yes, it was him who said to the child, "Your mother won't mind if it's just a little."

**********************************************Pedri was sitting with the other players in the press room of the arena where the Barcelona basketball team was playing. They were waiting for the club president to take a photo; after all, it was important for them to see the first-team players supporting the others. While he waited, Pedri looked at the candy store's website on his cell phone, looking for what Axel had told him so much about during the week, about a new type of M&Ms with different flavors that he was dying to try, but it was still out of stock. Occasionally he would look up from his cell phone to respond to something the other players were saying. Gavi was by his side, chatting about something that Pedri could no longer follow due to the rapid changes in subject that the youngest started.

"Hey, guys," Laporta says, entering the conference room. He greeted each of the players who were there, and the staff organized them for the photo. As always, the president would hold the ball, and everyone would be on hand to touch it, in the form of support. After the photo, they start a conversation with the president until the door is opened wide.

"Oh, sorry." I thought they were already finished. Pedri, who had his back to the door in a conversation with Araujo and João Félix, freezes; he would recognize that voice anywhere, and above all, he would recognize the perfume, which hits him like a punch in the stomach. He immediately caught Gavi's eyes, who seemed as surprised as he was.

" The game is about to start, and we need to take some photos of the boys for promotion."

"Of course, we're done here" the president says, laughing. Apart from Gavi, the other boys didn't seem to notice Pedri's reaction, as he finally found the courage to turn around to look at the woman, and God, he felt his breath catch in his lungs.

"Oh, do you already know the boys personally?" Laporta asked the woman who looked up from her cell phone, looking at the other people in the room, and as soon as her eyes fell on him, they tripled in size, but she was quick to hide her surprise.

"No, not yet" she said simply.

"Boys, this is Isa Harver; she is the club's new communications assistant." Laporta introduced them, and she extended her hand to greet each of them. When her hand stopped in front of Pedri, he immediately noticed the ring on the girl's finger.

"Fuck" He heard Gavi saying behind him with a certain humor in his voice. Pedri simply couldn't believe his luck.

******************************************

N/A: SOOOO, I hope you guys enjoyed it!! I revised this chapter a million times, but English is not my first language, so something must have slipped through. Let me know what you think. And for my Gavi's girls, I'm also preparing something for you."

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Here's something mildly heartbreaking :) (my speciality!)

Mammon definitely cried when MC died right?

• He (along with Asmo) is the character who cries the most in canon;

1.) He cries during sad parts of movies/shows/plays/books

2.) He cries while watch animal documentries

3.) Hell he cried because Beel ate the soup he was making MC

• MC died on a day where the rest of the brothers were (up until that point) having a relaxing, fun day - playing a game to get Lucifer & MC closer together. Their death was definitely unexpected/an extreme shock

• MC's injuries were bad according to Satan? (Levi?) Bad enough that a human wouldn't have been able to survive it. Bad enough that even Lucifer knew he couldn't do anything to save them when Asmo asked him to. That means the body Mammon was holding was........ I mean it would have been a gruesome sight

• Mammon's been spending every day since the beginning of the year with MC. At this point he's already obviously in love with them, they're his best friend, the two of them share a bedroom frequently. They were close

The point being: Mammon held a dying human in his arms and sobbed his fucking heart out while asking them not to die. In front of Belphie.

The point being: Mammon didn't cry when Lilith died. No listen, he absolutely broke down when she died but he didn't do it in front of his brothers. Mammon was the one keeping it together and looking after everyone when they Fell. He couldn't scream and cry and beg like he wanted to when Lilith died because he had to be the strong one, he had to soothe everyone's injuries and fears and guilt, he had to show them that things could be better, that they could move on to a brighter future (shoutout to Mammon's lines in his unit song with Lucifer).

But you know what Belphie would have seen?

He would have seen his older brother breaking down over a human he's known for months when he wouldn't even cry after his little sister, who he'd known for thousands of years, died

And we all already know what Belphie thought about humans at this time:

And we already know what he thought about his brothers at this time:

For a moment there, while MC was dying Belphie would have hated Mammon. Would have felt vindicated for causing Mammon that kind of pain, when he (as far as Belphie knew) couldn't even spare that for his sister.

Belphie would have felt angry and betrayed. Justified for what he said and did but so so painfully hurt.

And then (in s1 of the anime) when the brothers were tiptoeing around Belphie, were trying to reach out to him and act normal after what he did, but were so obviously failing, when there was a distance between them and Belphie that had previously never existed, that even Beel couldn't find away to breach, Mammon was the first to take that step forward and close the distance which prompted everyone else to do the same, to bring Belphie back to them, to show that he was accepted and loved and always a part of them

And I am very emotional about them.

Disclaimer: this is absolutely not a post bashing Belphie or his thoughts/actions/feelings. They're both complex characters and I always love trying to breakdown and figure out what certain characters were feeling at a time by bringing up other moments in canon. If you try to make this post into something to bash Belphie or start dumb discourse I will eat your entire right leg🐸

In addition, me stating things from canon or talking about negative emotions or things characters have done and comparing those things to another charcter's actions/emotions/responses is not me putting down one character to raise up another. Sometimes when analysing characters you have to compare and contrast them with others present in that or similar situations -> doing so doesn't mean I'm shit talking one character. A character can do, say, think, believe bad or complex things -> there's nothing wrong with talking about/analysing those things or still loving that character.

I know it seems stupid to say something that should seem obvious but *takes out cigar and blows smoke* I've been in this business a long time, kid (3 years for om!, 7 years actively in a fandom, 14 years in fandom in general) I've seen things, terrible things

Also, lemme shamelessly plug in my fic because it's related to this post -> Changing Seasons

Ft. Belphie coming to terms with MC after Lesson 16

Onesided Belphie × (unnamed gn!) MC

Mammon x MC being Besties

Belphie & Mammon talking, but not talking enough

Belphie's PoV

Mammon very briefly being an eldritch nightmare as a little treat for you monsterfuckers

Edit:

Huge additional part added because I realised the entire focus of this post could be misunderstood

Ajznxodjfc9enhd7ejx 😭😭😭😭this was supposed to be Belphie's post about Belphie's feelings. Y'all know I love Mammon, but he's not supposed to be the focus here🥲

Usually when I make an analysis post I take evidence from canon and then add it all together to get ✨️The Main Point✨️ of the post.

In this post I had to infer all of mammon's "canon evidence" (via other actual canon evidence) because we're never explicitly told he cried when MC died and we never see his instant reaction to Lilith's death.

Belphie's side of it was however all explicitly stated in canon so I just added the screenshots. Which is why I wrote much more about mammon on this post than Belphie.

But ✨️The Main Point✨️ that I was always getting to and what made me write this post is actually about how absolutely fucking pissed off Belphie would have been because of Mammon. How hurt and angry and betrayed he would have felt that his older brother who's meant to protect him and his family apparently valued the life of some random human over their sister's.

I added the S1 bit because it nicely rounded up Belphie & Mammon's story. Because it proved Belphie wrong. It proved exactly how much Mammon (and the others) valued him and each other. Because he got to see how heartbroken Mammon was when MC died, he knew exactly what it was like to be that heartbroken, he knew exactly what it was like to NEVER forgive that which caused the pain, and yet he was forgiven. And THAT I think more than anything would have proved Belphie's initial thoughts wrong. It would have eased any lingering feelings of betrayal and hurt he had. Would have proved how much he was loved by his older brother.

So yeah, this was absolutely made to be Belphie's post and I don't think I explained that well enough in the original post💀 in my defense i was half an hour late in feeding the kids & getting yelled at🥲

[thelampisaflashlight]

The Fire Burns Brightest

"It's okay to be sad, Aeon, even if you don't think you have a good reason to be." Dew says, drawing spirals in the sand with the stick he'd been using to stoke the fire in front of them, "Emotions are complicated, and sometimes we're just... Ugh, I wish I was better with words and shit..."

He gestures at his head.

"Shit's fucked up here." he states plainly, making Aeon snort, "No, but really. I could literally cry at the drop of a hat some days, and sometimes I don't even know why. More than once, I have felt like I was on the verge of a breakdown, like, I was wholly ready to just lose it... and then I took the biggest shit and I felt fine."

"Being alive is... a real mess." he continues, "Our physical needs impact our emotions, and our emotions impact our health... That's why they call stress the silent killer."

"I guess I..." Aeon starts, narrowing their eyes at the flames, "...It's a lot, being here. Being around all of you, being thrown into this position, this place... And I feel like I have a lot to live up to with Aether and..."

"...I want people to like me, but I don't feel like they do, and I just... I'm so... I just feel so fucking lonely here, and I don't know why, I-I just..."

Dew scoots over and wraps his arm around Aeon's shoulder, giving them a squeeze, not quite the full on hug they want, but as close as the other ghoul feels comfortable giving them right now.

"Well, I can tell you I like you; I like you and Aurora a lot, and I know the others feel the same." he assures them, letting go to stoke the fire again, "Maybe I'm not the best person to hear that from, Hell, I couldn't convince Sunny it was true when she was in your shoes... but I mean it. I can't lie about that sh-stuff."

"Then why..." Aeon bites their lip, "...If you like me, why don't you like me, like me?"

Dew freezes, hand held over the fire.

"...Aeon, we talked about this."

"Yeah, and I still..." Aeon stands up, "I still feel the same way. I still like you like that! I just... If you could tell me why... what's wrong with me-"

"There isn't anything wrong with you!" Dew yells, "It's me! I'm the one who has the problem, and I just... I don't feel that way about you. I haven't felt that way about anyone since-"

"...Since Aether, right?" Aeon whispers, startling when the stick in Dew's hand catches, "Dew-"

"Maybe you're right." the older ghoul says, tightening his grip on the burning wood, "Maybe I am comparing you to Aether... but I wouldn't have to if you weren't trying so hard to replace him-"

And, oh, does that sting.

"I didn't mean to say that." Dew says all too quickly, but Aeon isn't even listening to him, swatting the stick out of his hand, "Ow!"

"Idiot! You might be a fire ghoul but you can still get burnt!" Aeon shouts patting, "I don't care if you're comparing me to Aether! I already compare myself to him every time I step on stage, but I know I'm not him! What I want is for you to realize that, too!"

Aeon pulls Dew towards them, cupping his face in their hands, and, fuck, does Dew look so much more...

"Just let me try... Or tell me no right here and now."