#Billie Eilish x female reader

[the-thing-withfeathers]

know your worth

a/n: thank you to the anon that requested thisss!! this is my first time around writing some angst for billie so it was actually a cool learning experience hehe. there will 100% be a part two to this.

part 2

request

pairing: billie eilish x reader

warnings: annngggst, toxic relationship, billie neglecting you, cursing, arguments.

summary: billie’s been neglecting you recently to the point of standing you up sometimes and you finally decide to say something about it.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

you stood outside the restaurant you were supposed to meet billie outside of, in the rain, in the cold.

you had spent too long waiting for her to the point where you felt embarrassed when the waiters would check on you. you just decided to leave without grabbing anything to eat, making sure to leave an apologetic tip.

you finally called it when you opened up instagram after texting & calling relentlessly. you saw that she was partying with her friends on one of their stories. your look of disappointment was one that was hard to miss. tears started to form in your eyes when you realised your girlfriend either forgot about you or didn’t care at all. both were equally as painful.

you took an uber here as you & billie were going to drive back together in the car you two often shared when she wasn’t been escorted in limos. you had no time to wait for one so you whistled and called a taxi instead.

it took everything in you to hold back crying so that the poor taxi driver didn’t have to witness the mess you were.

while in the back of the taxi, you thought about how this all started in the first place.

billie had come home after a long year’s tour, you were waiting for her at the airport. it was pure bliss to feel her arms wrap around you again for the first time in a long time. you lifted her into the air and spun her around.

despite her being home from tour though, she still worked everyday. she spent time in the studio and it felt like days would never end. you did work too but you got home much earlier than she did. however, it was comforting knowing she would come straight home to you. you would greet her with home-cooked meals, already doing most of the housework. she was grateful at first, but then you noticed her mood started to change.

she started just going straight to bed, ignoring your meal that you had set up for the two of you. you would join her in bed but she’d shelter from any touch you tried to give her even if it was just a cuddle. you started suggesting date nights like movies but she always gave the excuse of being too tired. part of you felt horrible for feeling neglected as you know how hard she worked and if you were in her place, you’d be tired too.

you started to tell your friends about this. they made you see that you worked long days too despite coming home earlier, but you still made an effort. you had no idea why billie was suddenly acting this way.

even more pain came when you realised that she was free some nights, you just had no idea. she spent those nights partying with her friends, without you there. sometimes you’d even see her getting close to some other girl in a video your mutual friend took. you felt your heart break at the thought that maybe billie just outgrew you.

when you arrived home, you handed the cash to the driver, quickly making your way back to your apartment. you slammed the door behind you, leaning your back against it. you finally get the tears go, finding it harder to breathe.

you had gotten dolled up in hopes that she may finally choose you just for one night.

you ran into your shared bedroom, swinging open the closet door and grabbing a bag for yourself. you started packing some clothes just to last you a couple of nights, you rang one of your closest friends asking them if you could stay the night.

you heard them sigh at the other end of the phone, knowing they were holding back an “i told you so.” or maybe even an “about time.” you just weren’t in the mood to hear it. they understood that and just responded with an “of course you can stay.”

you felt humiliated that you allowed yourself to put up with it for as long as you did. you just loved billie too much to give up now. your relationship was hard work, you’d hate for it to become futile.

you just wanted the girl you fell in love with back. the girl that had an endless list of romantic gestures to surprise you with, the girl that used to write songs about you and perform them before she showed it to anyone else, the girl that loved you just as much as you loved her. you missed that side of billie, and you wondered if maybe that girl was too far gone.

you heard the door swing open, soft footsteps making their way across your apartment. you felt yourself freeze, fight or flight kicking in. for the first time in your life, you were scared of billie. not scared of what she might do but scared because it was practically like interacting with a stranger. you had no idea what she might say to the sight of you packing up to leave her.

would she be mad? would she let you go? would she try to fight? all those questions terrified you. the uncertainty scared the living daylights out of you.

you finished up packing your clothes just as she entered your bedroom.

“hey baby, what’s going on?” she asked, slurring her words a little bit. she was inebriated, of course she was. you didn’t answer her, making your way to the bathroom to grab your toiletries.

“baby.” she said, a bit more firm. you stuttered in your step when the nickname came out of her mouth but shook it away. she just looked confused at you when you chucked them into your bag.

“i’m done, bils.” you said, grinding your teeth as you zipped your bag shut. you walked to your bedside table to grab your chargers. “i’m done being treated like shit.”

“c’mon baby, i don’t treat you like shit.” she said, letting out a dry chuckle as a smile formed. “you’re being dramatic.”

“really?!” you said, angry. your tears started to form again, you tried to hold them back as you didn’t want to show weakness in front of her. “you fucking ditched me today, i was all alone in that restaurant waiting for you.”

her smile suddenly faded. she forgot. she didn’t care. you didn’t know.

“i’m so busy, baby. you can’t seriously expect me to be perfect and remember all our dates.” she tried to make up an excuse. you were hurt that she didn’t even apologise.

“busy enough to go to a party with your friends?” you snapped, aggressively shoving your charger into your bag and slinging it over your shoulder. “be so fucking for real right now, billie. you didn’t forget. you just don’t give a shit anymore.”

“oh fuck you!” she said, pointing at you. “if i didn’t give a shit about you, you wouldn’t even be here right now!” she yelled.

“wow. that shows me how fucking disposable income am then. i didn’t realise you saw me that way.” you said, walking past her and shoulder bumping her. “after everything i’ve done, how can you say that?!” you asked, turning around to look at her, standing in the living room.

you should have walked away, but given the fact that this is the most attention billie’s shown you, you wanted to stay and fight.

“you know what? you are disposable. i could have anyone! they’d be okay with me going out and partying.” she scoffed.

“yeah? well when you find someone that loves you just as much as i do despite you neglecting them, you let me know!”

“i will!” she said, walking closer to you. “i bet it won’t be hard.”

you laughed, anger seeping through your voice. “fuck you, billie. maybe you can go ask that girl you were grinding on at that party last week. tell me, did you sleep with her? is that why you’re being like this? did you cheat?”

“no, i didn’t. but maybe i should have, she was more fun than you’ll ever be. at least she wasn’t a damn shut in with no life.” she spat out.

you went quiet, did billie actually say that to you?

you were so hurt by her words, you thought you had been a good enough partner to her. maybe you weren’t enough for her, and the thought of that brought you to your breaking point.

“fuck…” you whimpered out, covering your mouth. “you’ve changed so much… you’re not the girl i fell in love with anymore…”

she scoffed at you, “well maybe i should’ve been this way all along. i feel good like this.”

“fine… be that way.” you said, turning around and twisting the door knob.

“you’re nothing without me! you love being useful to me” she called after you. “where are you gonna go?!” she asked.

“anywhere but here.” you slammed the door shut as you made your way out of your apartment, leaving the love of your life behind.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

billie woke up the next morning, groaning with a pounding headache that she couldn’t seem to best. she didn’t remember much about the party last night— nor did she remember the argument you had.

she only remembered when she opened up your shared closet to get dressed and found the majority of your clothes missing.

“oh… oh fuck.” she said, grabbing her phone and immediately trying to call you. it went straight to unavailable. she started to send a few texts.

‘baby, baby, i’m so so sorry.’

‘please answer my calls.’

‘please call me.’

‘i’m so sorry, please forgive me. i didn’t mean it.’

she went straight to social media, trying to find you but noticing that you had blocked her on most of your accounts. she found herself starting to cry, all the regret building up in her chest.

her tears fell onto her phone as she searched for any way to contact you. she sat down on the bed you used to share, it still smelled like you. her head was in her hands, she was trying to figure out where you could have gone in hopes of going there and talking to you. but because she hadn’t been around you, she wouldn’t know which of your close friends or relatives would house you.

she had stopped her crying, making it her mission to find you today. she had gotten dressed and her muscle memory took over, swinging the fridge door open in hopes of finding some leftovers of one of your famous home-cooked meals that you would have tucked away. her tears started to fall again when she realised there was nothing there waiting for her.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

it had been a week since you left your apartment. billie found it to be an incredibly insufferable week.

she had gotten home that week in a pissy mood, chucking her keys into the table beside the door and dumping her bag on the floor.

she had noticed that the apartment had changed, everything was suddenly clean. this past week, she hadn’t gotten the chance to clean anything up or do any chores. she heard running water from the kitchen and practically sprinted over there.

she found you placing the last dish onto the drying rack.

“baby.” she said, a relieved sigh leaving her lips. “i’m so glad you’re okay.”

“i’m just here to pick up the rest of my stuff.” you said, sighing a less relieved sigh, it was more of a disappointed one. you had hoped to be gone before she returned.

“you don’t have to go, please. we can work this out.” she begged you. you wouldn’t even turn to look at her.

“we can’t. not with the way you’ve handled this. there’s nothing to work out.” you finally turned around to look at her. your eyes looked tired and your face drooped in sadness, she still thought you were incredibly beautiful.

“but i’m sorry… i’m just so sorry.” she stepped towards you but you walked past her into the bedroom you used to call yours.

“sorry’s just not going to cut it, billie.” you said, picking up a box of your things. “i don’t think you understand how much you’ve hurt me. the things you said? they really pushed me over the edge. i thought that maybe i was the terrible person. but i was wrong, you were treating me horribly.”

“i can change, i promise.” billie cried out, trying to stop you from leaving.

“please move, bils.” you asked her, your eyes going soft. the nickname made her weak to her knees, she loved when you called her that. she stepped aside, sniffling softly.

“please… give me the chance to change.” she walked after you.

“i believe you can change, billie. i know you can. i just don’t think i can stick around for it.” you sighed, opening the door with your free hand. “maybe the next person that you find yourself with will reap the benefits of your change.” you said, walking out the door and closing it behind you.

she fell to her knees as the door closed. from that moment onwards, she vowed to change for the better. but she wanted the person that reaped the benefits to be you.

and you only.

•*¨*•.¸¸♪

a/n: part 2 with billie redemption arc incomingg!

[teaaagan]

Smart

Y/N: Smart is attractive. Educate me on something I don't know!

Billie: The mouth of a jellyfish is also an anus.

Y/N: Stop.

[deep-fried-egg]

I’m writing. An entire Billie series.

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

the greatest

☆ EDDIE MUNSON'S MASTERLIST ☆

❣ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❣

☹ Summary : no matter how harsh he threw your heart out like it was nothing to you, you still cling onto him until you can't

☹ Word Count : I hope I didn't get too far how long this is

☹ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️ Rockstar!Eddie Munson x FEM!reader, cursing, smut, unprotected sex, both oral receiving, no use of y/n, slight cheating, slight somnophilia, hate!sex, unrequited feelings, lack of affection, unreciprocated love, toxic!boyfriend, emotional abuse, toleration, arguments, unhealthy relationship, briefly mentioning Jonathan & Nancy (reader's platonically friends!) but I wrote Eddie did not grew up in Hawkins only reader, that's just it

☹ What to Expect : SMUT AND ANGST‼️IM SORRY IN ADVANCE IF I MAKE EDDIE SO WORST IN THIS, I paint him so bad in this but I'm just following where I associate with this song from Billie, I apologize (I know this is totally not the Eddie, we love but blame my demented mind)

☹ Note To Reader : HIT ME HARD AND SOFT ALBUM OF THE FUCKING YEAR! 🫡 I'm sorry, I just need to say it out loud, I've been obsessed with this album ever since it dropped and gave me so much fic ideas 😩✍🏻

☹ Author Note : yay, I'm back writing, my main boy, Eddie Munson! I have so much working in progress but imma keep going to finally finish everything! 😭🫶🏻✨

You're trying your best

To keep him satisfied

You always, always let him get his rest everytime he's finished performing while you stayed up all night

You don't wanna let him know

You don't even think if he cares about it

How you feel so alone

"Jesus Christ, baby"

He is in deep in your cunt swallowing him, your naked bodies pressed together as you pant and moan for him

He holds at the headrest as he pounds himself in and out of your pussy relentlessly

"O-Oh my god!- Eddie" you cry out as he collapsed on top of you as you scratch behind his back making him groan

He squeezes your breasts as he kisses you sloppily, a string of saliva as he pulls from the kiss making you fucked up in the brain as he ruthlessly sheathes himself inside and out from your aching hole

"F-Faster" you whisper as you bit your lip in pleasure when he grabs both of your legs folding you in half close to your chest as he rocks his hips brutally

"Harder, yeah, baby- I know- fuck" he shuts his eyes as he gets lost in the feeling of being inside of, so warm and so unbelievably good how he felt in your walls

He's throbbing inside of you and your cunt is pulsating, you clench around him as he grunts

You chant his name, he watches down his dick is covered with your juices and he moans louder

"Eddie-"

"Cum with me"

"Ah-oh" you sigh beautifully as you whine when you came undone as he spills all of his load in you

He lazily smiles as he kisses your chest, he removes the hair out of your face as he slams his lips onto you again, you mewl and your legs are still trembling

He smirks as he chuckles "Woah, woah there, sweet cheeks, we might go for round 2 if we continue doing this"

"I don't mind" you say with a sly grin but your smile falls when he begins to pick up his clothes

You sit up yourself quickly as you bring the blanket closer to you

Why is he only affectionate to you when it's sexual?

Or when you give him the pleasure

Of course, he won't stay like he always does

"You're not staying....again?" Your voice is meek as you looked behind the back of his head

He doesn't turns around because he will only be seeing those eyes

"Y-Yeah, I have to go to hang out with the guys" he clears his throat as he ties his black boots

You wanted him to stay with you, you want him to hold to you, not him running off after you both just have sex

No matter how many times he has done this, it's the same reason everytime you tell him that you want him to stay beside you, you can't help but feel so disappointed

He stands up as he turns around as you try to mask up your saddened face as you give him a small smile

He makes a quick kiss to your head as he takes one last look at you before he leaves the room

You look at your body, the way he touches you and holds you is imprinted every inch of your body, the scent of him still lingers

You bring your knees up closer to your body as your eyes falls into the big window from the hotel room

The sunset is very pleasing to you makes you forget the dismayed situation that you had with Eddie not a minute ago

That's where made you think about your relationship for almost 4 years of living together

You always been so good to him, you give him anything that he wants

You've been thoughtful, considerate, lovable, caring, understanding and pretty much everything what a lover should do to her partner

Your congratulations?, Nothing

All your love and admiration?, Nothing

All the times you've waited for him to want you to be naked, Nothing

You made it all look, Painless

Man, aren't you the greatest?

"Eddie, why are you doing this?! I'm your girlfriend-" you raise your voice as you step closer to him, his eyes became more intense as he starts fuming

"Shut the fuck up!" He snaps up, you flinched but you still continue to argue with him

"You're out of your mind picking up girls while you have someone who is waiting for you to come home" you retorted as you push him by the shoulder, he glares at you

"What are you going to do about it?" He ignores your point as you shake your head in disappointment

"You're such an asshole" you spat out as you walk away from him

His heavy boots hits the wooden floor as he stomps to aggressively grab both of your arms as he swings you around to face him as he pins you against the kitchen counter

"Don't ever say anything to me like that again" he grumbles as his dark eyes bore into you as you swallow and shiver from his touch

"Eddie- let me go of me!" you protest but he's aiming at your neck to kiss and mark you up

He is locked you up with his hold, whatever you try to move, he won't budge

Your breathing became ragged as he starts unbottoning your denim shorts, his fingers is like an ignition as he touches your stomach and crawls up into your breasts under your blouse

"S-Stop doing that" you're still mad at him, you hate him for doing this to you

All you wanted was a nice goddamn communication about what you didn't like with his behavior

Instead, he does this, so, that you'll be distracted from the main problem that you both have that is very needed to be talked about

He knows what the fuck he's doing and that makes you even more angrier

But, god- you love him so much that if he can ruin you over and over, you would let him do it

"Do you want me to stop?" His grabs the flesh of your ass as he raises you up and you yelp as he places you in the counter

It became more aggressive, desperate, needy

He takes off your denim shorts along with your panties without a warning he doves on your pooling cunt as it clenches around nothing as he dips his tongue inside of you

"E-Eddie- ah!" You lean your chest and back forward to get close to him as he grips so tightly around your inner thighs as you can feel his nails dig deeper into it that is for sure will leave marks but you didn't mind

You can feel his fanning breath on the area of your tight hole as he tastes you on his tongue, he hums in delightment as he kept his hungry eyes on you as he eats you out

Your brows pulled together as your face contorts in pleasure as you start grinding against his face as he holds you steady

"Wh-what the fuck? Eddie?- oh-" you can see the mischief on his eyes and he knows, he knows you're pissed off at him but you can't deny that he is so good at it

Your hands went through his hair as you tug it making him groan as he buries himself on your heat

Your eyes went large when he pulls you closer to him and your legs went through his shoulders as he tongue fucks you on a different angle making your eyes blurry as you squeezed it shut

You moan louder and your breath becomes heavier as you continue to grind against his face

You placed your hands flat on the counter surface as you tried to control your building familiar sensations on your stomach

You tried to push him away from your cunt because you can't help it anymore but he won't let you do that, he is a fucking menace

He dips his tongue deeper inside as he devours you, your eyes rolled back as you sigh and scream his name as you came undone

Your eyes are half-lidded as your arms went wobbly and if you ever try to stand up your knees can buckle anytime

Eddie looks at you like you're some sort of prey as his brown eyes went darker and he grins devilishly

He palms your pussy as he slides his finger inside of you making you whine as you hold his wrist

"You taste so good, baby" he moans as he licks his finger off clean as you bring his hand to your breasts

"But it isn't enough for me" his voice sounds deeper than before

You haven't calmed down yet but the moment you hear his belt unbuckling you open your eyes and you can see his angry tip growing harder

But before you can say anything, he snaps off your strapped blouse revealing your naked chest

He holds his dick as he slams into your entrance making you squeal

"O-Oh my f-fucking go-d!" You held onto him as he rocks his hips slowly

"Shit, you're so soaked" he grunts as he rests his head on the crook of your neck

He pulls back as he watches you completely in the ecstasy of the feeling of him inside of you

You copy his movements as his head falls backward

He held both of your legs as he sheathes himself inside, your walls are already clamping onto him

You place your palms on the counter as you raise yourself as you grind harder onto him making him moan in your action

He slides himself inside and outside of you harder and faster as you watch how he easily slips on you

He smirks when he catches you looking at it, "See, that? sweetheart? that's you, I'm about to bust-"

You clench around him as you can't raise yourself any longer as you start whimpering and panting at him

Your body begins to shake as he carefully brings your legs around his waist as he fucks you deeper

You cannot even close your legs at him anymore as it falls down more than once

"I know, baby, I know- fuck" he growls as your high pitched moans becomes more louder

He takes a look at you as he kisses you swallowing your moans as you arch your back

Bodies slapping, you're sweating and so is he, your mind is gone out of the window

Fuck, even if you hate him, you always cave in

You shout his name as your bit down to his shoulders as he sighs in pleasure as he rocks his hips at you spilling his load in your velvety walls

"That's right, baby, take it just like that" he can feel you squeezing him not wasting any ounce from his seed as you hum in agreement

You're shocked

That he didn't let go of you this time

He lets you hold him, you embrace him as he caresses your hair softly, you smile

But you can feel your eyes tiring begging to close, he sense that, so, he picked you up and you're already in the verge of falling asleep

The scattered pieces of clothing are ignored in the floor

He places you in his bed as he goes along with you, he sleeps with you for the first time that night

You turn around in the bed not opening your eyes yet and you met with a cold empty space

Typical

You scoff as you get up and pick up the robe and tied it to yourself to cover your body as you picked up the clothes you wore last night and throw it into the laundry

His guitar is not present in the room, so, you figure out that he's there with them

Not that you don't want him to hang out with them, not that you avoid him for having a social life

You just want to be a part of his life too

Be his, it's all you ever wanted

Jonathan is a good friend of yours back in Hawkins Indiana, he's honest and very dear to you

You remember your last conversation him before the way he interrupted you with your ramblings about Eddie, he knows that something isn't right with you and your relationship with him

He just doesn't want you to be heartbroken, he knows what will happen to you after all of this will end, that's why you'll always receive those sympathetic eyes of him

But no matter what he do, he can't stop you, he can't even prevent you to feel hurt because he just knows how awful he is to you

If only he's more like Jonathan, Nancy is a really lucky girl

"Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, you always think about him first, I mean- have you ever think about yourself? just for once?" He reaches for his drink as he kept his eyes on you

Your lips slowly downturns as you start mustering, "You know how much I love him, Jonathan" you softly murmur and he just rolls his eyes as he leans forward to steal a french fry on your plate as you playfully glare at him

"Yeah, I know, I'm just worried that he won't treat you right, he doesn't deserve you, you deserve someone who is better than him" he chuckles at your shocked face because of his action but his face turns back to serious as he continues to talk to you

You already knew about that, you know what you entered in the first place even though you know it will tear you down in the process, you can't even remember how you fell in love with him, you just did, it only takes you by a first glance and then boom, you got yourself felling harder

He saw you in the crowd and you can't believe he chose you and at first it was all very romantic and sweet until he can't stop talking about you over the phone, talking about how much he misses you, saying that you should be with him and he even demands that you should stay with him

You really thought that he was serious about your "relationship together", he wants it to make it official but why he hasn't told the public yet? you thought you both have the same feelings for each other and it turns out, you're the only one who has very deep feelings about him

You've been doing this for weeks, staying over at his tour bus as he fucks your brains out everytime you came around

For him he only loves you for sex but to you?

He is everything to you, god- doesn't he even realized how much you've done anything for him? You never once did talk bad about him back when a paparazzi intercepted your path while you're walking in the streets asking you questions about what is your role in Eddie's life, you faced public scrutiny, you know your reputation can be ruin if things goes backwards

But you didn't care because why? You love him

You know this is so bad for you, anyone can see it, you got these sympathetic looks from all of his crew and even his bandmates

Does he treat every girl that he gets this way? that's why whenever he picked up a girl they already have this look on their faces that they dreaded it?

Jonathan can tell that you're keeping it together, your eyes are now glassy as your mind is elsewhere, he knows that you just wanted to be someone you truly love even that person isn't right for you

You keep this whatever what the fuck this is, you might get yourself ruin apart at the end but at least you have the time of your life with someone you truly adore

"Hey, I hope you know that you find someone who will love you so much as much as you do"

Sometimes, your friend's words makes you startle a little at how accurate they are

You just smile fondly, "Thanks, Jonathan"

He already tried to talk you out of this, of course, he is disappointed at first when he find out that you're fucking not only a metalhead but a goddamn famous rockstar, he knows guys like that can't settle down, he can read people easily at first look, but no matter what he say about, he knows that you won't change your mind, so, he took your hand in his as he squeezes it

"Just so you know, I'll be here for you, when the time comes" he speaks softly as he gauges for your reaction he knows how fast you can froze by the words that hit you but you masked up your pained expression as you look into his eyes

You're about to leave with Eddie after your lunch together as you look at the window, Jonathan saw how in love you are, he can't help but feel sorry for you

You fell in love with a wrong person

"I'll call you, okay?" You smile despite the sting in your chest

Once again, you cried to yourself as you took a bath

You scrubbed like there's no tomorrow on every inch of your body

You let him come and go

Whatever state you are in

That's how dedicated you are to him, you don't even think twice how things would end up if you always let him take over you

He came home very late that day and even you're sleepy but you can feel him dragging you closer to him as he hugs you and he presses a kiss to your back

You don't know how to feel about this, you always fell whenever he does these things to you, I mean- does he know? every single action he makes to you drives you absolutely crazy?!?

You woke up in the morning as you glare the person beside you who is peacefully asleep

You always decided against with the thought of punching him to his gut, scratching his face out of anger, slapping him until his face fall off

Eddie is not always a light sleeper, so, you aggressively took off the blanket that is covering the both of you and get yourself positioned on top of him

You take off your panties as you untied his gray sweatpants as you pull it down letting his dick springs free slapping against his stomach as you spit on the palm of your hand as you began to stroke it

You're upset but also feel aroused, you want him to know what it feels like

Your delicate small hand is wrapped around his cock as you jerk him off, he stirs in his sleep slightly, but as soon as you heard his soft snores you proceed what you needed to do

When you felt his dick is solid rock hard, your cunt is on bitching heat as you reach at the hem of your nightgown revealing yourself to him naked as he still asleep

You carefully grab his dick guiding it at the tight hole of your entrance as you sink down, you moan and whimper at the intrusion as you throw your head backwards

You bit down your bottom lip as your eyes starts prickle in tears, you begin to grind yourself, you're heavily breathing, your cheeks are flushed

That's where his mind and body registers what is happening as he slowly opens his eyes, his vision becomes clearer when it lands on you on top of him fucking him while he is asleep as he tries to cover his stunned expression but he can't, you're drooling and he can see the dilated pupils on your eyes

He looks down at your cunt and his dick is coated with your fluids as he groans as starts copying your movements lazily

You saw the look on his face and it becomes a cocky smirk as he holds both of your hips

He missed the unreadable stare on your eyes as he pants and he grabs both of your breasts making you whine in pleasure

"Fuck- baby- good morning to you" he says with a gruff voice as he brings you closer to him

"Morning" he didn't catched the stern tone on your voice as you begin to bounce on his cock all of the sudden making him curse under his breath

His mouth hangs open as he blinks rapidly his hold on you became tighter as he tries to rut himself but he can't since he is too pussydrunk

You moan out loud as you bounce on his cock harder and faster and he uses the energy that is left with him as he pulls you making you squeal and say his name so hotly

"What's gotten in-to you- s-sweetheart? you missed me?" He says between kisses as he swallows your pretty noises as he marked you up on your chest and neck hitting that sweet spot that makes your head spin

"I-I just wanna make you feel this" you pulled back as his face flashes with confusion but the moment you lean backward and placed your palms on his knees as you rock your hips rougher

"Oh- christ!" He exclaims as his eyebrows knitting focusing at how hot you look like this, you're so fucking sexy

You study his face at how he reacts on your every movement with him, despite your hips stutter and you feel the familiar core coming into you

"I-I'm gonna- sweetheart- fuck- I'm dying here" he moans as he tries not to pull trigger early

"I-I know, I'm close" you whisper as he slams his lips onto yours as you mewl as you place yourself on his neck almost biting him when it finally snaps as you grind to take it all with you as you both calm down

He kisses you as he pours all of his white seed to you painting your velvety walls as you clamp around him making him grunt

When you finally got calm down take note he is still holding you keeping you in place but the moment you slapped his arm away when he tries to reach out and hold you, he got confused again

You wore your panties and your nightgown again, he watches his cum leaking out of you and his eyes following you as you reach for the doorknob, and he puts back on his sweatpants as he sits down on the bed

"What the hell are you doing?" Now, he wants you to stay? What a fucking hypocrite

You humorlessly chuckle as you shake your head, you turn around to face him

You lean downward to meet his eyes, "So, now you know how it feels like, huh?"

"Feels like to be what?" His eyes goes everywhere on your face as he begs for an answer

"To be used" your face falls completely showing him that you can be cold at him

You left him mouth hanging open as he closes and starts shooking his head as he followed you outside

He catches to you downstairs as he blocks your path

You're shooting daggers at him but you know this argument won't do shit to improve your relationship to him, so, you move to other side as you continue coming down from the stairs

"Used you?" He repeats as he tries to understand, you ignore him as you pour yourself a cup of coffee

You nod as you went into the fridge grabbing the leftovers from last night to reheated up

"You think- I used you?" He implied as you incredulously laugh at him

"What does this look like to you?" You point yourself and to him

"We're in a relationship" he says as he shrugged and he doesn't even sound pretty confident with his answer as you chuckle dryly

You almost choke when you take a sip from your coffee

"Bullshit" you say plainly as you pick up a plate and open the drawers for the cutlery

"That's not bullshit" he gives you a deadpan stare

The audacity of this guy

"Oh, it's not bullshit to you? Well- let me take this down for you, Eddie, did you ever mentioned me some of your interviews and whatever the press asks you what I am in your life? I don't know?! You fucking tell me" you throw your arms up as you scoff when you saw the guilty crosses his features

"See? That's what I thought" you point out to his face as you take a seat on the table he follows suit yet again

"You know that I just can't-" he thinks deeply as he can't even look at you now, too ashamed of it

"Oh, yes you can, all you have to do is say those words but you can't, of course, because you're too chicken shit, afraid of your own damn feelings" you retorted as you give him a pointed look

"I am not-" he goes closer to you but he halted when you stood up, the fork clinks when you drop it on the table

"You're not? So, tell me- tell me now, do you love me Eddie?" You stare at him despite you already know the answer and it pains you

His face becomes pale and it looses it's color as he stares at you

"I-I don't-" he stutters as he doesn't know what to do with his hands as he averts his gaze somewhere else

You click your tongue, "Eddie, it's a simple question, it's not a trick, I said- do you love me?!" You repeat your words as he stood there, he opens his mouth but no words coming out of it

Does he suddenly didn't have the ability to talk?

He said nothing

He didn't answered

His silence is making your heart took out of your body and he crushed it just like that

The way he can't reply fast screams volumes

"Why am I not surprised" you chuckle wryly as you turn your back at him as you walk away

"No-" he takes your hand as you snatch it off and he frowns

"Do you have any idea?"

"Of what?"

"What would I have done?"

He knows what you're talking about and it deepens his regretful features as he looks at you

"I endured a lot, Eddie- I would've told anyone else about how awful you are to me, I would do it, anything at all, worse than anyone" you say between chokes of your tears making your throat tighten at how bad you feel about your relationship

Not only your relationship but how bad you feel about yourself

"I can't because I love you-" you murmur as you look down in the floor, you don't wanna see how broken you are

"But I do-" he tries to hold you but you keep backing away from him and it saddens him

"No, you don't- Eddie, don't say things that you didn't mean" you look back at him and now he sees even just a glimpse of you of trying to keep yourself together, for him, there's a heavy weight falls to his chest, a feeling that he has never felt before

A feeling that for sure that he will blame himself in the future

Not now, but he will realize it sooner

You took matters into your own hands

After his last concert of his tour, you already packed up and ready to go, you got your passport ready, everything is settled

As much as you wanted to stay with him and be with him forever, no matter what can you do to argue with him nothing will ever change

Even you turn the world upside down nothing will ever happen between the two of you

He's jaded, he couldn't even break it

You are frightened about your future

You will always be the one to look out for him but what about you?

You loved him but he doesn't and you're just wasting your time for someone who will never ever repay of what you did to him

"Hey, baby-" he enters the backroom of the stage

He kisses you but you only gave him a peck knowing damn well if you gave in, it will be you who under the covers again naked and it will be a neverending cycle

You need to cut the tie off, you wanted out

Doing what's right, without a reward

"What's the problem?" He pulls back as he held both of your shoulders

"I am leaving you, Eddie" god- you can't believe words like that would come out of your mouth

You've never thought this day would come

"What? come on- sweetheart, you don't mean that" he kept holding you in place it's almost like he is begging you

"But I do, Eddie-"

"You said before that you can be patient"

Oh

Right, he was right about that, but your time with him has been washed out, it's tiring, you already did become patient only to be neglected all the damn time

"I did, but not anymore"

"Baby- don't"

"We don't have to fight, Eddie!" You tear yourself away from as you move backwards, his shoulders slumped down as he runs a stressful move to his hair

"It's not even worth fighting anymore" you hold back your tears as you pick up your stuff

His eyes widens and he hugs you from the back "N-No- please"

"Eddie, let go of me" your bags fall from your grasp as you tried to take his wrists off away from your body

"W-What do you want?" He takes out a shaky breath as his eyes goes everywhere to your face

"I loved you and I still do" you point it out to him and you let the bittersweet tears streaming down from your cheeks

You began to stomp and push him by the chest angrily as he hangs his head down shameful, "Just wanted passion from you!, just wanted what I gave you!

"Eddie! I've waited and waited!" Your voice cracks as you couldn't even recognize yourself how beaten you are from this foreboding relationship

You laugh at yourself as you wipe your tears away, "Man, am I the greatest?"

"But you are-" he steps forward as he wants to hold you but he couldn't

He lost you now, it's his own fault for taking you for granted

You huff, "God, I hate it" you shake your head at yourself

"All my love and patience, unappreciated" you flash him with a sad smile as you sniffle

"Don't talk like that, I do appreciate-"

"Stop fucking lying! Eddie!" You exclaim as you sigh in exasperation

"This is who I am, I don't do what you wanted me to do" he defends himself, you shut your eyes as you look at him

All you can see is no remorse, no regret, no fear of what things could've been, should've been, would've been

But you can also see that he is sad and that look will always haunt you, if only he can see what you want him to see

As much as it hurts you even more, you know and you highly doubted that he won't ever change, he has no plans to make himself a better person

"I know, that's why I am leaving out of your life, Eddie, it's over" you say as your face went nonchalant again like nothing happened earlier

He froze at your words as he blinks fast as he watches you walking out of him as he stare at your back and you stopped as you look back at him again for one last time

He thought you would come back to him but to your eyes says no otherwise

"I shouldn't have to say it, you could've been the greatest"

[r3dcherri3s]

𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗮𝗹 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗼𝗳 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸 - 𝗶 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀 - 𝗯𝗲 𝗽𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗶𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼 𝘀𝗲𝗻𝗱 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝘀, 𝗜'𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗿𝘆 𝘁𝗼 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗺 !!

𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝗺𝗲? (hurt/comfort)

𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘀𝘁𝘂𝗽𝗶𝗱 (18+)

scared to lose you (writing..)

𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 ! (hurt/comfort)

——————————————————————————-

𝗡𝗔𝗧𝗔𝗦𝗛𝗔 𝗥𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡𝗢𝗙𝗙

𝗮𝗻𝗻𝗼𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴? (hurt/comfort) — part 1 part 2

𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗼𝘄 𝗶 𝗳𝗲𝗹𝘁 (writing..) on hold

——————————————————————————-

𝗞𝗔𝗧𝗘 𝗕𝗜𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗣

𝗶𝗻 𝗯𝗲𝘁𝘄𝗲𝗲𝗻 𝗱𝘂𝘁𝘆 & 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 (hurt/comfort)

𝗱𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻𝗲𝗱 𝗲𝗺𝗯𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗲 (hurt/comfort)

[cierraonline]

S2EP2: BILLIE AND SIREN DIVORCED!?....& more

Read in dark mode please 

💚💚💚💚

I can tell you want it good, girl

You ain't gotta worry no more

You keep my bottles cold and you pop 'em

As soon as I walk in the door

These dudes don't know me from Adam and Eve

That's why they can't mess up my flow

And when this beat drops, your heart stops

You feel it from your head to your toes

If you know what I'm talking 'bout (Hey)

Let me see you work it out (Hey, girl)

Girl, that's what I'm talking 'bout (Come on, Finneas, talk to 'em)

💚💚💚💚

“Wait is that our new theme song!?” Billie smiles in excitement hearing her brother’s voice in a style she never knew he even liked, since his style of personal music was more on the indie side. 

“Maybe,” Siren shrugged her shoulder not really having a thought about it being the theme song for the podcast. “It was just really a snippet of my album as a producer.”

“It sounds so good so far,” Claudia compliments. “So you’re working on two albums this year?”

“Yeah, well the first album as the artist is already completed, and this album as the producer is just something to work on while I am bed-ridden.”

“Why are you being bed-ridden?” Concern was slapped onto Zoe’s face as this was the first time any of them was hearing this. 

“The doctor said that Siren is going to experience a high-risk pregancy so within the next month or two we have to prepare for her to be on bed rest for the remainder of the pregancy,” Billie offers clarification. “She didn’t tell us why thought. But she did say everything is healthy.”

“Maybe you guys are having more than one?” Claudia suggested. 

“My stomach isn’t even that big for it to be more than one,” Siren shook her head. “And I don’t think I can handle pushing out more than one body out of me.” 

“Well your belly just popped so it might grow increasingly over the next few weeks.”

“Let’s not put that out into the universe,” Siren nervously laughs. “It’s gonna be one baby and one baby only.” 

“I think it’s going to be twins,” Claudia smirks.

“Ouu that would be cute,” Zoe gawks. “Like one mini Siren and one mini Billie.”

“That sounds like a nightmare for them if that is to happen,” Billie laughs. “We were so bad as kids. If we get mini verison of ourselves we would then be forced to expereince what our parents had to go through with us.” 

“We’re not having twins, it’s just one baby in me,” Siren declares.

“But you don’t know that,” Claudia states, with a big smile on her face.

“And you don’t know that there’s twins because none of us have actually seen the screen or hear the heart beats.”

“Why is this pregnancy such a secret?” Zoe questions. 

“Probably because the writer made an impulse decision to make Siren pregnant and doesn’t know what direction she wants to take it in,” Billie looks at the camera.

“Huh?” All the girls turns to Billie.

“I mean-” Billie clears her throat. “Because I think it would be such a crazy and iconic moment…almost like russian roulette.” 

“Oh.” 

“I’m Billie and that pregnant gal over there is Siren and you’re watching the ‘Whatever the Fuck This Is’ Podcast and like always we have Claudia and Zoe on the couch and Rodrick behind the camera. 

“Can we talk about what happened after therapy? How are you guys doing, honestly,” Claudia turned to the married couple in the room. 

“Well, I moved out the house and now staying with my brother next door,” Siren reveals.

“At the moment we are separated,” Billie adds. 

“So you guys are actually going through with the separation thing?” Zoe asks for clarification.

💚💚💚💚

Dr. Maleeka Brown’s Office

I think Billie and Siren need a break from each other 

The room went silent and back to its tense ways including the family therapist who honestly did not see this coming. 

“Who wrote this,” She tried to keep her tone neutral. 

“I did,” Patrick raised his hand.

“Why would you say that?” Billie comes off aggressive to her father. “Like do you want me to be unhappy. Is that what you’re saying?”

“Billie I’m sure your father has a good reason on why he wrote that,” Maggie jumps in trying to mediate. 

“What possible reason can he have to want me and Siren to not be together anymore?”

“You’re already unhappy Billie. Because if you were happy, we wouldn’t be sitting here right now,” Patrick states. 

“Billie lets calm down,” The therapist looks at her patient before turning to her father. “Can you explain to us, but most importantly to the girls why you think they should take a break from each other.”

“All they know is each other like the back of their hands and because they believe they know everything about one another it was easy from them to jump into marriage. They didn’t take the time to get to know each other on an intimate level that involves dating.”

“Okay that make sense,” Dr.Maleeka Brown agrees as the rest of the older adults in the room nodded in agreeance.

“No it doesn’t,” Billie deadpans. “If Siren and I know everything about each other there’s no need for the useless dating phase.”

“There’s always a need for the “useless” dating phase, Billie,” Patrick intercepts her thinking. 

“Your father is right, Billie,” Dr. Maleeka chimes in. “The dating phase is where you see the green flags and the red flags. Learn about what motivates each other and learn about what causes self-sabtoaging on an intimate level. And for example, if you dated you would’ve learned about Siren’s bad drug use before the marriage and not during it. Siren would’ve learned that you actually do want kids. When you are dating even if it’s your best friend the conversation is no longer based on what you thought you knew but rather what you're willingly to learn and what needs to be updated.”

“So you think we should put our marriage on a hiatus and date to learn more about each other?” Siren spoke up for the first time in a while. “Okay, I’m down.”

“What about you, Billie?” Eyes turned to the ocean eyed girl.

“No because I’m not understanding why we need to basically get a semi-divorce to date and learn new things about each other.” Frustration reeked from the girl. 

“Because the safety blanket is knowing that at the end of the night you will fall asleep in bed with Siren next to you. If you separate, that safety blanket doesn’t exist until you put in the work to create it.”

“I still don’t want to do it,” Billie shook her head. 

“You do realize we are close to being stuck in a endless marriage that none of us are happy in if we keep going down this path, right?” Siren questions her wife.

“No we’re not. You love me and I love you. We are going to be okay. Every married couple goes through a rough patch,” Billie tries to reason, grabbing ahold of her wife’s hand. 

“If you love me then you would do this for me,” Siren gave her direct eye contact. 

💚💚💚💚

“It’s not a separation, it’s a hiatus,” Billie corrects. “And honestly, although I was against the idea, I can see that it’s probably the best thing we could’ve ever done.” 

“Yeah, like I’ve never been in relationship before and all I knew about being in one is what you and Finneas would share and I didn’t understand what the bubblyness was about since you guys knew each other like forever. But now I understand,” Siren smiles. 

“It reminded me how fun dating and going on date actually are and reflecting on the dates we’ve been on lately made me feel bad because I don’t think I ever took Siren anywhere and it labeled as a date or made her feel like it was one.”

“So what have you gys been doing?” Zoe smiles.

“We’ve honestly just been around the compound and eating at the different restaurants or going to the movies that I recently developed in the compound.”

“I think now we make sure to priortize not always needing to be around each other and creating mystery and anticipation, so we have something to talk about when we go on our dates,” Billie adds. 

“Is there ever a time where you guys didn’t know what to talk about?” Claudia begins. “Because there are times where Finneas and I would go out to eat and we simply wouldn’t know what to talk about after a certain period in the date.”

“Our first date was so awkward because we didn’t know what to talk about about everything the casual how you been. And before the second date, I was at Barnes and Nobles looking for a dummies book for parenting newborns and as I’m walking I pass by the gaming aisle and saw this box where it had basically questions and conversation to have on dates. So at our second date I bought them and we just had fun.”

“The game was fun, but also helped me update answers about Siren I thought I knew like i thought her least favorite color was green but it actually deep red due to the times she had to wipe up my blood from when I would hurt my self.”

“Just going on these dates is starting to build our intimacy with one another and changing the mindset to that we know everything to there’s more to know,” Siren smiles.

“This is the most I’ve seen you genuinely smile in a while, Siren,” Rodrick speaks up from behind the camera. 

“Eww,” Siren laughs at his comment, knowing what to actually say. 

“So speaking of intimacy," Zoe smirks. “Did you guys stop having sex with the hiatus.” Flushed with red the girls looked in other directions.

“U-um.”

“Wow.”

“I’m guessing you guys are still having sex then.”

“Look at their faces, Billie is tomato red,” Claudia points out.

“I will say, Billie and I did not have sex after the first and second date.”

“What about the dates after?” Zoe hums. 

“It’s not our fault!” Billie exclaims laughing. “The sexual attention just lives there and everything feels more intense than it did before.” 

“Plus, Billie developed this breeding kink so she’s more damnding and in control in bed since the pregnancy.”

“Oh my God!”

“Eww.”

“What the fuck!” 

“Let’s change the topic,” Redness traveld from the top of Billie’s head down to her neck as she covered her mouth to hold in her embarrassed laughs. “You have a conspiracy theory for us,” She turns to Rodrick. 

“Okay so you know how people on social media been talking about how Chipotle has been giving out super small portions?”

“Yeah,” Everyone agreed. 

“Well it’s been said that their manager tells them to do that. And people who order online have it worst. So today we’re going to test that out. Off to the Conspiracy van!” Rodrick gets up from his seat and runs away from the setup.

“So do we just follow him?” Cluadia looks in the direction the male ran off to. 

“I..guess.”

💚💚💚💚

“Where the fuck did you get a replica Scooby Doo gang van from?” Siren takes a seat in the passenger van, with her eyes scanning every cervice of the vehicle.

“Replica?” Rodrick mocks offended.

“Don’t tell me you bought the actual Scooby Doo van from the movie?” Billie turns to him with wide eyes.

“Okay, I won’t,” The shaggy haired boy shrugged his shoulders. 

“You have way too much money,” Siren shook her head in disbelief.

“Thanks to you, buttercup,” The boy pinches his best friend’s cheek, resulting in his hand being slapped away. 

“Don’t touch me.” The brown-skin female snarls at him in a threatening warning tone.

“Be good or no Scooby Snacks,” Rodrick teases.

“You have Scobby Snacks?” her eyes widen in want and adoration.

“The box is under your seat, my friend.” Rodrick states as he turns on the engine which automatically causes the Scooby Doo theme song to play.

“Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? We got some work to do now. Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you? We need some help from you now,” Everyone in the car sings along vibing to the song.

“Off to expose Chipotle!” Rodrick screams, accelerating out of the driveway and speeding through the back pathway since cars aren’t allowed inside the compound in order to maintain the environment being walking friendly.

“I thought you liked Chipotle,” Zoe speaks up from the back. How does she know that? Siren eyes subtly widen in realization of the conversation that happened a couple weeks ago. 

“Hmm, i guess i was wrong,” The white eyed girl mumbles to herself. 

💚💚💚💚

“Okay so the running thesis is that Chipotle hates their customers so therefore they serve little portions…but since small portions don’t follow corporate standards whenever there’s a camera out recording they make sure to do extra,” Rodrick explains, putting the car in park. 

“Or maybe they give little portions so they don’t have to keep making food since they’re use to long lines,” Billie reasons, not seeing what the big deal is.

“If I’m paying $11 plus tax. I want my money’s worth.”

“Your order is only eleven?” Siren turns her head to her best friend. “Mine is like sixteen sometimes twenty.”

“What the fuck are you ordering that causing you to spend almost $20 at Chipotle?” Billie looks at her separated-but-still-dating wife. 

“The barbacoa is not scooped up into the bowl like the other proteins so I always get double protein,” Siren explains with a guilty tone ridden in her words. 

“Anyways my app isn’t working so let’s use your phone, Siren,” The shaggy haired boy holds out his hand in which a disposable camera phone cased Iphone is placed in his palm. “How do you have five hundred points?”

“I'm feeding another human being, don’t judge.”

“Are we going to like confront them if this is like a serious thing?” Claudia asks with excitement. 

“We’ll have Siren do it since she’s the meanest one here.”

“I am not mean,” Siren pouts her lip, crossing her arms.

“You want the twenty two year old who looks like a pregnant sixteen year old to confront them?” Billie points out. 

“Plus I thought we were coming back for lunch tomorrow?” Zoe questions.

“You guys have lunch together?” Billie turns to her childhood best friend.

“N-n..uh..sometimes.” Zoe stutters out, not knowing how to respond. 

“Does anyone have a burrito order?” Rodrick asks, quickly changing the subject before Siren opens her mouth to say something smart. 

“I want a burrito,” Siren speaks.

“I want a bowl,” Claudia adds. 

“Okay we can do Siren’s burrito and Claudia’s bowl on the app,” Billie directs, looking down at Siren’s phone that displayed the app as Rodrick beings clicking on buttons, ordering their food. 

“Alright everything is ordered,” Rodrick announces. “Alright me and Zoe are going to do the in person orders since you guys are too recgonizable and might ruin this theory by getting special treatment.”

“Technically wouldn’t your thesis just be changed to restaurants are biased when it comes to celebrities with influence ordering food,” Siren questions. 

“Nah, the Keith Lee movement already proved that.”

“True,” all the females agreed. A second later Zoe and Rodrick found themselves walking to the chain restaurant but as they were walking Siren couldn’t help but to noticed how close to each other they were walking.

“Are they messing around with one another?” Billie whispers in Siren’s ear. 

“I think so,” Siren answers. “Honestly I thought it Dre who she was crushing on. Who would’ve thought?”

“So do we tease her about it?”

“Not yet.” 

“What are you guys whispering about?” Claudia looks at the pair.

“Nothing,” Billie blurts out revealing that she was lying.

“Anal sex,” Siren states calmly showing no signs of deceit. 

“Why?” Claudia looked disgusted, wishing that she never asked her initial question. 

“Ever heard curiosity killed the cat,” Siren remarked. 

“Ever heard satisfaction bought it back,” Claudia rebuttals with a smirk drawn on her face.

“I told Billie I want to try anal sex since I fear if we have regular sex she would just be hitting the baby. And then we went on about what size dildo we shoud buy.” the lie danced off the brown skin’s tongue. 

“Eww,” Claudia’s face scrunched up, before looking back at her phone.

“Wait,” Billie whispering turning her head back to Siren. “Do you really want to try anal?”

“Sure I’ll be your bottom bitch.”

“I understadn why Zoe left but why did Rodrick leave? What are we supposed to talk about to the camera since this whole theory is his?” Billie states.

“We can talk about how Biden dropped out the election race,” Siren offers.

“Since when were you into politics or even current events. Not once have I ever seen you picked up a newspaper or watch the news,” Billie comments. 

“My phone died and I was forced to watch the tv at the doctor’s office in which they only played the news and that’s what the people on the tv were talking about.”

“All I’m going to say is thank God,” Claudia praised. “This whole election is giving a shit show.”

“I don’t think I’m going to vote,” Siren shook her head.

“Yes the fuck you are,” Strict Billie came out to play. “A no vote is a vote for the other side. And have you seen that bullshit, Project 2025 floating around? You’re fucking voting even if I have to drag your ass to the polls.”

“So who the fuck are we voting for because it’s giving we’ll all be damned either way.”

“I heard that VIP Kamala Harris is going to be running as a replacement,” Billie answers, not realizing the mistake she made.

“VIP?” Siren squinted her eyes. 

“What?” Billie looked confused. 

“Who’s VIP?”

“Kamala Harris…”

“Um..Billie I don’t think she’s VIP,” Claudia recgonize the mistake the brunette was saying. 

“Yes she is,” Billie nods her head. 

“Well she is but just not in the way you’re meaning it,” Claudia responds, hoping the girl would catch onto her own mistake. 

“What the fuck does that mean?”

“It’s VP not VIP, dumbass,” Siren remarks.

“You guys knew what the fuck I meant!”

“Did we?”

“Imma just shut up,” Billie sat back in her seat, not saying a word again after. 

“We are back!” Zoe announces their presence as the two spies walked closer to the van and jumping in. “We got the in person orders and to-go orders.”

“So what’s next, Scobby?” Siren turns to the mastermind of this concept for the podcast. 

“We simply just weigh them,” He pulls out a flat scale. 

“Hmm, I had the same scale a few years ago,” Siren hums.

“What the fuck did you have a tiny ass scale for?’ Billie spoke up for the first time in a while since the girls made fun of her. 

“To measure weed before selling it,” The Vixen girl shrugged her shoulder.

“Sometimes I forget that you used to sell drugs,” Billie comments.

“It was the highlight of my teen years…you know besides the birthing drug addiction….and becoming famous.”

“Anyways, let’s measure these bad boys,” Rodrick ignore what his best friend said in order to not start a roasting battle as he would lose up against Siren. “First the burritos.” Digging in both bags the boy pulled out the food and there was an obvious difference. 

“One is bigger than the other,” Billie states.

“Thank you Catherine obvious” Rodrick deadpans.

“The saying is captain obvious,” Billie spits back.

“You didn't watch Nick growing up did you?” Rodrick stares at her.

“Huh? What does that have to do with anything.”

“He said the phrase right, it’s Catherine obvious as in the line from Victorious when Tori didn’t know the correct phrase was captain obvious,” Siren explains.

“Ohhh.” 

“So the bigger one is the in store order with my phone out recording... and the small one is the to go order meaning the conspiracy theory is correct. If you oder online you should expect less food compared to the obvious amount of food from ordering inside with the camera on their guilty asses,” Rodrick tells the camera. 

“Fuck, that was my food,” the pregnant one moans. 

“Not they discriminating against preganant women,” Zoe jokes causing everyone to laugh besides Siren who was pouting about her food. 

“Now the bowls,” He hands the burritos over to Siren who happily unwrapped hers and took a big bite. Although she was upset about the portion, the taste on her tongue blinded her anger at the food chain. “This one was in store,” He opens the bowl that Zoe ordered. “And this one was ordered on the app,” He opens Claudia. “They look the same but maybe let’s weigh it.” Placing the scale in the middle so everyone would be able to see it, Rodrick places the the in store bowl on the scale and it read 705 grams. Switching out the bowls, the scale revealed that Rodrick’s thesis was correct. “682..Chiptole is ripping us off.”

“So you gonna go in and have them fix it?” Siren asked, not knowing whats the next step here is. Are they going back inside to get it fixed or just accepting it and one of them eat the bowl?

“I guess we just go back home and eat the food…i guess.”

“Claudia close us out.”

“Well people, if you haven’t been watching because you were too busy scrolling on your phone. Billie and Siren are temporary separated so be prepared to see those sad romance ship tiktoks all over your fyp. But don’t worry they'll still be sleeping in the same bed again soon and it won't just be after they had regular or anal sex. Joe Bidden dropped out the race and we might be on our way to having our first female President, so make sure to vote so your voice can be heard. And today Rodrick proves he is not a dumbass and that Chipotle is ripping off us especially if you order online. This was Whatever the Fuck This Is Podcast see you next week.”

💚💚💚💚

[calibabii21]

masterlist

disclaimer: by no means am I *intentionally* excluding or discriminating against anyone of any ethnicity, body size, height, gender, etc.  seeing as I don’t use physical appearance descriptions, anyone and everyone can read my stories. but let it be known that I generally write for black women, as we are usually the excluded, and I believe we all deserve someone writing for, about, and on behalf OF us, with the people we desire to believe we have a chance with. because the reality is: we do. point, blank, period. we literally have just as much a chance as anyone to be with the one(s) we desire, so, I want to provide that descriptive, literary, visual for my fellow black queens and that’s that.

in addition: my content is not, whatsoever, for minors. if you are under the age of 18 do not interact with me or this page in any way, shape, or style. if your blog is empty and/or does not have your age displayed, it is an automatic block.

m = mature s = suggestive f = fluff a = angst

misc.

isn't this what you wanted (m) - reader's choice

rendezvous (s) - reader's choice

trying something new (m, s) - reader's choice

lunch (f, s) - billie eilish

lunch 2 (f, s) - billie eilish

guess (f, s) - billie eilish

anime

i hate you (m) - p.fn

collabs

a dreamy Christmas (m) - l.hc (w/ @jenoslutie)

be my valentine (m) - k.dy (w/ @xuhuihuis)

Christmas in September (m) - n.jm (w/ @andysorbit )

requests

stoner!hyuck (m) - l.hc

reactions

smoking with Dream (m)

wine drunk with Dream (m, s)

surprising the Dreamies (s)

scenarios

things said during sex & dinner (m, s) - nct 127

things said during sex & dinner (m, s) - nct dream

series

you're mine too (m) - suh. j, k.dy, l.mk

awakened (m) - nct dream

nct 127

call me a jerk (m) - suh. j

anytime, anywhere (m) - j.jh

sensual banter (s) - j.jh

strawberries n' cream (f) - k.dy

like he should (m) - k.dy

work your magic (m) - k.dy

isn’t the sky beautiful (m) - k.dy

are you jealous? (m) - k.dy

rock and a hard place (s) - n.yt

told you so (f) - l.mk, j.suh

nct dream

awakened (m) - l.jn

sli(ck-p)up (m) - l.jn

awakened pt 2 (s) - nct dream

awakened pt 3 (m) - p.js

in my mind (m) - p.js, l.hc

you're a godsend (f, a) - l.mk

[the-thing-withfeathers]

requests are closed

anon messages are so so so welcome, i love hearing from y’all

i think i’ve mainly used up all the ideas i had at the top of my head so i’d love any requests if y’all have anything you want done 😫

i mainly write wlw!! if you want a male reader, you’ll have to specify!!

i also write for:

madison beer

jenna ortega & her characters

billie eilish

sabrina carpenter

olivia rodrigo

sam carpenter (scream)

yellowjackets characters (young!yjs)

-> lottie -> shauna -> jackie -> natalie (but will accept the other yjs as well)

criminal minds women

-> jennifer jareau -> emily prentiss -> elle greenaway

doctor who women

-> clara oswald -> rose tyler -> amy pond

marvel

-> kate bishop -> yelena belova

-> natasha romanoff -> wanda maximoff

… the list will gradually get longer the more i think teehee

[teaaagan]

Leaf

Finneas: Why is Billie crying?

Y/N: She saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Billie: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

Finneas: Please don’t say what I think you’re gonna say-

Billie: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

Finneas: NO, NOT THAT!

[deep-fried-egg]

All I need this Christmas season

Earnings: fem! R, smut, strap on use, a little fluff at the end, short

Smut under the cut

“Hey baby I got you a little gift… here, open it up.” Billie said as she handed over a wrapped present to her wife y/n.

The present was wrapped in beautiful silver paper that glittered under the sunlight of the early morning.

Y/n felt her cheeks heat up as she pulled out the gift from her wife, it was a (quite large) strap on that has a feature where it cums.

“O-oh wow… I…” Y/n stuttered as she tried to get words out, but inevitably failed.

“What, do you not like it?” Billie asked as she gently took the box from her wife’s hands.

“Well… I just didn’t expect it. it’s quite a bit bigger than our other one.” Y/n fidgeted with her hands as she watched Billie open the box.

“It’s okay. I’ll use a lot of lube for you.”. Billie said as she looked at Y/n with lustful eyes. The look on the blonde's face was enough to make y/n squirm a bit.

“Do you want to do this with me?” y/n heard her wife’s voice soften as she spoke these words, y/n just nodded.

The blonde woman kissed y/n lightly before pulling away and smiling mischievously, “Okay then…”.

Billie began to kiss y/n passionately and y/n let out soft moans as their tongues clashed together. Billie pulled away, slightly panting, and whispered seductively to her wife, “You know... you’re really gorgeous.”

She kissed y/n again before moving down to her wife’s chest. Billie continued to trail kisses down y/n’s body until they reached her hips.

She kissed them softly and then licked them.

“God, you taste so good.” Billie said softly as she continued to lick at y/n’s hip bones. The blonde lifted up y/ns shirt that she wore to bed, luckily y/n only had panties on so there was easy access.

“Can I take these off?” Billie asked as she

started working on y/n’s underwear. She took each item of clothing off slowly, trying not to hurt her wife. She then proceeded to slip all the pieces of clothing aside.

“Fuck, you’re so beautiful…” Billie breathed as she admired y/n’s beauty. Billie leaned forward and kissed y/n on the lips.

“Alright, I’m using your gift on you now okay, I mean you’re really fucking wet… I know you can take that shit.” Billie smirked as she ran her hand up and down y/n’s thigh, feeling y/n shiver against her touch.

“Ahh… yep… yep, yep… okay. Just use a lot of lube, please Billie.” y/n said quietly and she could feel herself start to sweat from how much she was trembling.

The way Billie was treating her was making her extremely hot inside, it made her weak in the knees. She knew what her wife was capable of but never expected her to treat her so tenderly.

Billie puts the strap on, gently teasing y/ns pussy with it. “Relax, relax, you're safe… I won't fuck you hard. You know I’d never be too rough.”

Billie coated the strap with lube before slipping it into y/n slowly.

Billie paused after every inch passed through y/n, “Oh, honey, I hope you like having my cock buried so deep inside you…”The blonde said sweetly.

Y/n gasped as she felt the sensation of Billie’s strap being shoved right inside her. Her breathing was heavy as she felt a wave of pleasure wash over her.

“Shhh… relax…” her wife cooed to her soothingly as she started to thrust her hips against y/n’s.

“Oh God Billie… oh… more…” y/n mumbled out loud as Billie increased her speed and thrusts.

“There we go… Cum for mommy~” y/n heard Billie speak lowly while she pounded into her wife’s pussy.

Y/n moaned loudly when she finally felt the intense orgasm.

Billie pressed the button on the controller of the strap which makes it cum.

“Mmm… I love you so much honey… so much…” Billie muttered as she pulled back from y/n and collapsed onto the bed next to her wife.

“Wait… did the strap come with fake cum in it?” y/n asked tentatively.

“Nope~” Billie laughed and turned her head, “I took it out of the box earlier so I could fill it.”

“Mmm… okay baby…” Y/n mumbled as she buried her face in the crook of Billie’s neck.

“So, is there anything you want to do today? I mean it’s Christmas.” Billie asked, looking down at y/n’s form.

“Not really… I kind of want to stay home with you and cuddle.” y/n replied sleepily as she wrapped her arms around Billie’s waist tightly.

Billie chuckled, “Sounds like something I’d like to do too baby..” she replied as she stroked y/n’s hair.

“Let me take this off first…” Billie

said as she removed the strap and set it on the nightstand.

“Do you wanna watch a movie?” Y/n

asked.

“Sure~ we have lots of options if you don’t mind watching some mindless romance.” Billie said excitedly.

“That sounds perfect.” y/n smiled happily as Billie climbed over her wife to switch out the television on. Once it was fully switched on, they both settled back into bed with y/n in between her wife’s legs and her back on her chest.

Billie picked up the remote control and selected Netflix. They sat there contentedly for a few minutes watching random movies and enjoying one another's company as they enjoyed themselves in front of the TV.

[l8rs-gat0rs]

I regret to inform... (but also) good news about upcoming fics + name reveal

Soooo basically, I had 2 Eva requests left and I was going back and forth between working on both of them.

I am almost finished with one actually!

But sadly, I was deleting a different draft of something else I had been working on and I accidently deleted one of the Eva ones :(

the way I write is first I write everything on Tumblr (For formatting reasons) and then I copy and paste it in google docs to send to my editor, so regretfully, It wasn't backed up or anything yet since it wasn't finished. (Maybe I should start backing my work up though...)

I apologize to whichever Anon requested the one I deleted, I feel terrible, but I don't think I could recreate all the work I put into that fic so I will not be starting over.

However, I do hope you enjoy the one that will be coming out eventually.

in better news, if anyone is interested in the Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Midge x reader fic I said I would be writing, I finished that one and sent it to my editor so that one will be out extremely soon, she might actually be done with it today I think, I have to check with her.

after that comes out, I recently got another request, and to all my Moon Knight fans be ready because it is another Angsty MK fic!!!

but of course, The Eva fic I have already been working on will be done and posted before that one :)

lastly, I have a couple other Midge x reader ideas that miiight make it to the drafting stage but we will see 😌

If you haven't watched the marvelous Mrs. Maisel yet, the entire show is streaming on Amazon prime right now. It's an absolutely hilarious but also touching show (it helped me keep my sanity last semester in college) and there is no doubt in my mind that ya'll will fall in love with Midge because Rachel Brosnahan is just....PHEW. She's so gorgeous and I swear, I met her in real life twice and her gorgeous, contagious smile and beauty is just as prominent irl. So if you do happen to fall for her like I did (And my editor too actually haha) feel free to come back to my masterlist and read my fic(s) about Midge! Because there are also almost no x reader fics with Midge sadly.

Again, I sincerely apologize to whomever requested the fic that was deleted.

anyways, sorry for the long tangent! I hope ya'll will stay tuned for my other work :)

~Alisha 💝

(Yes this is the name reveal!!! haha)

[viennakarma]

Something you paid for

Fernando Alonso x Reader

Summary: Two years into the best relationship of your life, you find out that Fernando thinks you don't love him. But it get worse and you realize the whole world think of you as gold digger.

Word count: 5.7k

Tags: female!reader, established relationship, slut shaming, reader is confused, fernando is even more confused, miscommunication, cursing, a bit angsty, hurt/comfort, soft smut (almost not there), happy ending, not beta read

Relationship: Fernando Alonso x Reader

Note: I'm honestly not 100% sure about this story, a had another ending planned but I wanted it to be HEA. I don't know. :(

I'm sorry if it's rushed or full of mistakes. Feedback and opinions are appreciated xx

Find me on Twitter!

It was supposed to be just a pause in your studies. Something quick since your brain was already mushy from studying and writing your research for too long.

So when you picked up your phone, to aimlessly scroll through social media, you didn’t expect to see a new, sudden rush of comments on your instagram page. There were thousands of comments in your last post, calling you a gold digger, and much, much worse. Ever since you started dating Fernando, you had been getting these comments, and in the beginning they were worse but slowed down with time. Now they were on a new high again. Confused more than anything, you went on to try and find out what happened for this to happen all of a sudden. You and Fernando hadn’t gone out together for more than two weeks and you hadn’t been to a race week for a month.

After digging you eventually found out what happened. Deuxmoi posted something that made everyone quickly think it was you.

A lady who’s 12 years younger than her famous Spanish Formula One driver boyfriend, is known for being with him for his money. Many tried to warn him, but it seems like he doesn’t believe or doesn’t care.

Confused, you stared at the post, scrolling through hundreds of nasty, poisonous comments. That wasn’t true. Fernando did give you lots of presents and spoiled you a lot but he did this out of his own want, not because you asked for or demanded it. He was constantly giving you things, especially clothes, shoes and bags, and loved seeing you wearing them. He also gave you an Aston Martin car on your last birthday. He even went as far as getting you a credit card attached to his, for whenever you needed to buy books or go on a shopping spree. You never minded it because you knew he liked it, instead of refusing you were just grateful for his generosity.

You wondered if you should talk about it with him, but deep down you knew Fernando was never one to care for gossip of any kind. And this probably wasn’t even true to begin with, just someone trying to stir the pot. So you just limited the comments in your posts and went on about your day.

A week later you went to the race, it was Silverstone, and the last before summer break. You decided to dress your best, wearing clothes that were pretty and elegant and had been given to you by Fernando.

He always treated you like a princess, he was kind and patient, and always found a way to align your schedules to spend time together. He liked taking you on trips during summer break and to ski trips during winter break. Fernando adored having you around in race weeks, you could see in his face that he was radiant with your presence. And you loved all the gifts and the trips but you especially loved staying home with him, lazing around, making love on the sofa and taking walks hand in hand in his hometown. You loved helping him cook, trying your best to follow his orders and not mess up his recipes. 

You walked into the paddock hand in hand, and you kept him company whenever you could. He would keep you around the most, only letting you go when he had meetings or media duties. During that time, you would go back to his room and do a little more of your research, writing your thesis.

You left his room so you could grab a snack and a coffee at the hospitality, but as you passed by a hallway, you heard someone saying your name in conversation. You stopped, leaning against the wall to hear, with a glance, you saw two mechanics talking.

“Seems like everyone tried to warn him, man. But it’s like he doesn’t mind dating a gold digger.”

“Is she a gold digger, really?”

“Man, she doesn’t do anything! She doesn't even work.”

“Has anyone warned Fernando?”

“Everyone.”

You went back inside his driver’s room, sitting down, completely shocked. So that’s what people thought of you? You knew people on the internet talked about it, but they were strangers so you wouldn’t allow yourself to mind because those people didn’t know you. But the people in the garage? They’ve known you for almost two years now, you were always kind and polite to them, even going as far as bringing them cookies and donuts as thank you for welcoming you so well.

You avoided crying, it would ruin your makeup, and Fernando would notice it very quickly. So you just sat there, numb. Thinking about how everyone believed you were with Fernando because of his money and nothing else.

When Fernando found you again, before he had to go get ready for the race, he noticed you were a little down.

“You should not study so hard on the weekends, princesa.” He muttered, hugging you from behind and leaving a gentle kiss to your neck. Of course, he would think you were just tired.

“You are absolutely right, mi amor,” you smiled a little, turning around so you could hug him properly, “do you have time for a little kiss?”

“Even two,” he joked.

You ended up sitting on his lap, making out like two teenagers, until someone knocked on the door, calling Fernando to go get ready.

“Hey, good luck, yeah?” You said, kissing him one more time then kissing the back of his hand, “I love you.”

You watched the race from the garage, feeling self conscious now that it seemed like everyone thought you were leeching off of Fernando.

In the end, Fernando got P3 which was a great result and you celebrated wildly, proudly watching him get on the podium.

After his post race meetings, you met him in his room.

“Let’s go out to celebrate! Dinner is on me!” You hugged him, mood better now than before.

You and him ended up going out for dinner, at a high end restaurant, dressed to the nines. It was fun, you listened to Fernando talking about the race, then he asked you what you thought about the race.

Before dessert, you went into the bathroom to retouch your makeup and freshen up. When you came back, your tiramisu was already there. You and Fernando shared the dessert, laughing to each other.

When the waitress came, you picked the opportunity.

“Dear, can we get the tab please?”

“It’s already taken care of, Madam.”

Your smile faltered, and you looked at Fernando as she left. He was smiling like he couldn’t hold it in.

“Fernando! I said dinner was on me!”

“Why would I let you pay, princesa?”

“Because you got a podium today! As a celebration!” You whined, upset. Fernando pulled your chair, until you were right beside him and he kissed your cheek.

“I like paying for you, Hermosa,” Fernando stood up, offering you a hand, “come on, you can treat me right in our hotel room, what about that?”

You smiled as he pulled you away, but something still nagged at your brain.

You and Fernando took the private plane back to Madrid after the date, because he had sponsor meetings over the week, and you honestly wanted to sleep in your bed. The trip was quick, and while Fernando took a nap, you tried studying, but your mind kept going back to being called a gold digger.

Deep down, you really wanted to talk to Fernando about it, but you were unsure if he could fix this in any way. What could he do? Make a post on instagram saying hey, my girlfriend isn’t leeching off of me as most you think!? You did live with Fernando, for six months now, and he paid all the bills and the house was his. But he also gave you many many gifts.

When you got home, putting your bags inside the closet, you two just changed into sleepwear, ready to doze off.

Then Fernando opened his bag and grabbed a small box.

“Oh, I had forgotten! Got you a present last week in Austria!”

He handed you the box, and with your heart beating fast, you opened it to a beautiful vintage watch. It was gold, delicate with a beautiful bracelet. There was a lump in your throat as you stared at the piece.

“You didn’t like it? It’s ok, princesa, I’ll get you another one,” he said, with a gentle smile.

“I don’t need another watch, Nando. You gave me this one not even a month ago,” you raised your wrist, showing him the brand new one he gave you.

“I want to give it to you. It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged.

“And I don’t want it,” god, you didn’t want to sound so ungrateful, but how could you tell him that his presents felt like something else now? “You have to stop giving me so many presents,” you said, trying to put into words what you were feeling.

“But that’s how I won you over, why would you refuse my presents now?”

Something about the nonchalance in his voice made you stop, stomach dropping. That’s how I won you over? That’s how he believed your relationship came to be? That’s why he thought you were together?

“What did you say?” You paused, suddenly turning to him, it felt like a punch to the throat, “You- you believe I’m a gold digger? You believe it?”

Fernando walked up to you, putting both hands on your waist, a soft smile gracing his face.

“Amor, you know I don’t mind spending my money on you. Quite the opposite, I love to spoil you.”

You stood there, speechless for a couple of seconds. Then you snapped out of it, pushing his hands off you.

“That’s not what I asked!” Your voice sounded louder, you tried to regain your composure, “people talk a lot, the press too, but you know the truth, right?!”

“I’m a rich man, I like providing you with the luxurious lifestyle you lead. I don’t care that you enjoy my money.”

His words made it so much worse. It made you nauseous, the idea that all this time, he’s been thinking of you as a gold digger, as someone who’s only with him for his money and for what he could provide for you.

“No, Fernando- no!” Your voice wavered, “that’s not true! I love you, you know that right?”

“Why are you so caught up in some silly rumor?

“You know right? You know I love you.” You pressed further waiting for an answer. Hoping against hope that he knew it deep down, that he could acknowledge that you harbored love for him.

“Amor, we have such a great dynamic like this. I don’t need your love, just your loyalty and for you to be my pretty girl.”

He was so calm and reassuring, like he had made peace with the fact that you didn’t love him. Like he wasn’t bothered at all by the fact that you were supposedly a gold digger. His dismissal broke something inside you.

“So you don’t- you don’t believe I love you?”

You felt pathetic and helpless, repeating the same words again and again, hoping and praying for a different answer from Fernando.

“Come on, I’m really tired, can we go to sleep?

“Fernando.”

“I’m going to wait for you in bed,” was all he said, dismissing you completely.

You walked out of the room at the same time he went into the bathroom, you held your head up until you softly closed the door behind you, then finally the tears spilled. You went to the bathroom downstairs, the farthest you could go away from him as the sobs broke from your throat violently.

Sliding down on the floor you wondered if everything was lie. You knew it wasn’t but the fact that he thought you were only there for the money was completely wrong. How long had he been thinking that? How many times had he heard you say “I love you” and thought it wasn’t true? You didn’t even know what to do or what to feel. How could you feel if this whole time while you were pouring your heart into this relationship he thought you were just leeching off of him? How can you love someone so deeply and still live with the fact they think of you as a freeloader? Did he joke with his friends like yeah, she’s a gold digger but at least she’s loyal and fucks me well? 

Your chest hurt and you felt repulsive, making your way to the living room, opening a bottle of his whiskey, not bothering with a glass, just sipping it straight from the bottle.

What could you do now? Talk to him? Tell him you’re not with him for his money? After two whole years accepting his every gift with open arms? After getting a fortune worth of presents? After letting him pay for your books, textbooks, new laptop? After letting him pay for dates, trips, clothes, accessories, shoes and jewelry?

You hated yourself for it now. For taking it just because you thought it was his love language, not because deep down he was trying to keep you, buying your affection.

After spending the whole night awake, nursing a bottle and with only your repulsive thoughts as company, you watched as the sun rose from the big living room window.

It was time to fix it.

Fernando was an early riser almost every morning, so after the sun fully rose in the sky, you went in the kitchen and prepared coffee, to cut the effect of the alcohol. You weren’t drunk, really.

“Morning, bebé! You woke up earlier than me today?” He said, passing you with a kiss to your cheek, then going to the cabinet for a mug. He was so unbothered by your argument last night it was pissing you off.

“I didn’t sleep.”

He paused, looking at your face.

“We should talk.” You readied yourself. Fernando stopped in front of you, attentive. “I’ve been hearing a lot this past week that I’m a gold digger, this has been making me feel some kind of way, and I wanted to address this with you. Last night you were tired and we probably misunderstood each other…”

“Where are you going with this, corazón?” He asked, confused.

“I’m not with you for your money, Fernando. Do you understand that?”

He stood silent, which only made you feel worse.

“I want you to stop giving me presents without a proper occasion. And I want you to stop paying stuff for me. And we’re going to share house bills.” You laid it all out, after thinking hard all throughout the night.

“What are you talking about? No, I don’t accept it.” He frowned, “that wasn’t the deal when we moved in together.”

“Because I didn’t know everything back then. I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of you, and I don’t live at your cost like this.”

“No, Y/N.” He took a step back, shaking his head as if you had said the most stupid thing he had ever heard.

“I’m serious, Fernando.”

“No, I’m not negotiating this. I pay for everything. That’s how it’s been and that’s how it will be.”

“I just want to show you that I’m not with you for the money! I’m not what they’re calling me! No more presents, Fernando.”

“You took them.”

“Because I thought you wanted me to have them!”

“I wanted you to have them so you would want to stay with me!”

You gasped, hearing it from his mouth finally. The tears finally started flowing, and you swallowed, trying to keep your voice steady even with the tempest happening inside your chest, staining the beautiful story of your relationship. Well, what you thought was a beautiful relationship.

“You’re just like them, right?” You said, defeated, “you think of me as a gold digging whore. You probably never defended me when they called me that.”

“I gave you all this stuff because I didn’t want you to leave!”

“It was never about the fucking money! And guess what? You lost me anyway!” You marched to the bedroom, Fernando hot on your heels.

“Don’t. Don’t leave.” He said, following you. “I did everything for you to never leave!”

“Everything but loving me! I don’t fucking care!” You unlatched your necklace, putting it on the table, “I don’t care about your money and the jewelry and the clothes and the bags!” You put down your watch and earrings too. Everything he had given you not because he wanted you or loved you, but because he thought they were the price to pay to keep you around.

“Fuck, I love you!” You shouted, feeling desperate and lost, “And all you see me as is something you paid for. A toy you can parade around and look pretty in your arm! You don’t even love me, Fernando. I could write a list about everything I love about you, and none of it would be your stupid money!”

In the closet, you picked a bag, and started putting your clothes inside. Then you noticed how most of them were gifts from him. So you put it back, taking only what you had bought yourself. Fernando stood there, helpless as you packed, putting clothes and a few shoes in a couple of baggage. You also took your study material and laptop, which he had gifted you, but you knew you’d refund him.

“Stop, no,” Fernando tried to stop you as went into the garage, “I do, I love you.”

“You don’t, Fernando. You’re not even sure of that.” You shook your head, putting the bags inside the car. The Aston Martin he had given you, “you have to think. If you really love me as you say, then why do you love me? Because I’m eye candy you can take to galas? Because I’m a good fuck? Because I stand there and look pretty when you have to kiss those old men’s asses?”

You didn’t give him a second, getting in the car and starting the engine.

“This is so messed up, oh my god, how could I let myself believe this for two entire years?” You whispered to yourself, accelerating the car and driving off. 

Through the rear view, you could see Fernando standing there, doing nothing.

You drove and wiped the tears away, breathing in. When you moved in with Fernando, you hadn’t been able to get out of the lease of your flat because you still had a few months on your renting contract. Now it felt like luck that you had a place to stay. Despite getting your doctorate degree, you didn’t have any friends in the city, only a few acquaintances here and there.

You got to the apartament, not bothering to unpack your bags, only leaving it on the bedroom floor. You took your study material and with your phone in hand, you sent Fernando via transfer a total 4000 euros, for what you hoped covered the “laptop and books expenses” as you wrote in the little note.

Then you laid on the bed, crying yourself to sleep.

You woke up and it was getting dark, the sun setting outside. Checking your phone, there were fourteen missed calls from Fernando, and a notification, showing that he had returned the money to you, with additional 30000 euros and only “no” written on the little note. Huffing, you sent the whole amount back and blocked him, so he couldn’t transfer any more money to you.

He still had not realized what was wrong, he was still thinking money was your motivation.

The next few days felt like a haze, you were barely getting any sleep, only eating and writing your research, which ultimately reminded you of Fernando, since it was a study on aerodynamics. You couldn’t lie to yourself, thinking of how many times you stared at the door, waiting and hoping he would understand and come after you.

-

Fernando had work commitments in England, and going back to Madrid, he ended up giving George and his girlfriend a lift. Fernando was visibly not himself as soon as George saw him.

“How’s Y/N doing?” George asked, casually. But from the way Fernando’s face dropped, he could tell something was wrong, “trouble with the missus?” He joked, tried to lighten the mood.

“She- uh, she left.” Fernando muttered.

“What do you mean, she left?” Carmen joined the conversation, “She’s traveling?”

“No- no- I guess we broke up.”

“You guess?!” George’s voice went a little high pitched out of nervousness.

“Fernando, what happened?” Carmen tried to understand. 

Despite not being exactly best friends, you and her were pretty close, always spending time together whenever both of you were on race weekends. The fact that you’re both engaged academics was also a common topic between you.

“You know about the rumors, right?” Fernando started, hesitating.

“What rumors?” George paused.

“That she’s only with me for the money,” Fernando muttered.

“All girlfriends of drivers are accused of that at some point, what’s new?” George pushed.

“I might have implied that I agree with that.”

“Oh, my god,” Carmen covered her mouth, absolutely shocked, “What?”

“Fernando, respectfully- Are you fucking insane?!” George exclaimed, jaw slack, “she looks at you all lovey-dovey, like- like- you’re the only person in the entire earth and you think she’s with you for the money?”

“She would never be like that! She’s so smart and kind,” Carmen added.

“I know- I just- I don’t know! Maybe I let the rumors get to my head!” he ran both hands over his face, exasperated, “And she always lets me pay, and she always takes the presents, I don’t know!”

Then, Fernando explained about how you tried to pay for dinner, and you refused his gift, he told them about the argument and how you wanted to set boundaries about money and gifts.

“She was trying to prove to you that she’s not a freeloader. She was trying to show that the money didn’t matter, and what did you do? You pushed more money on her!” George practically spat the words in Fernando’s face.

“Eres muy estúpido, Fernando. Te lo digo como tu amiga.” Carmen muttered.

“I don’t know what she said but I heard the word stupid, and I agree.” George backed her up, “Go talk to her, apologize and fix it.”

“That is,” Carmen interrupted, face serious, “If you really love her. Otherwise, better let her go find someone who can really love her, it’s what she deserves. Love and happiness.”

Fernando swallowed, his chest constricting with the mere thought of you moving on, of someone else having you in their arms.

Getting back home without you there felt like a thick fog day, cold and empty and he missed you, he missed his sun. He missed you jumping into his arms as soon as he opened the door. He missed the smell of the candles you always lit while studying. He even missed the little mess of textbooks, colorful highlighters and notes scattered around.

Home didn’t feel like home without you.

In the middle of the living room, there were big cardboard boxes, as he opened, he noticed they were full of clothes, shoes and bags he had gifted you throughout your relationship. In a smaller box, all the jewelry he had given you, even anniversary gifts. Even the beauty products he had given you like perfumes, makeup products, and face creams.

You had returned every single thing.

And on the coffee table, your keys to the house and the keys of your Aston Martin DB12.

It seemed like you had returned everything that could tie you to him, everything that made him wrongly call you a gold digger. And it felt painfully like a goodbye.

-

While mixing your homemade coffee, your eyes flicked to the door, then to your phone on the table, facing up. Despite the searing pain in your chest, and the sorrowful hole in your heart, maybe it was time to start to move on. It had been more than a week, if he wanted to come back to you, he would’ve come by now.

You got ready to meet with your advisor, and she brought up a topic that had been common now, about you taking a position as a professor for a couple of Engineering subjects. She said it’d be good for you to work in your area while on the last few months before getting your doctorate degree. You had mostly denied the other times she offered the position, because you wanted more time with Fernando, because you wanted the freedom to fly around the world following him to his races.

Now- now you had more bills to pay and no boyfriend to follow. You also had more free time, a broken heart and a vacant mind. 

“I’m considering the position. I believe it could do me good right now.” You said to her, thoughtful, “can I confirm with you tomorrow?”

After going through the meeting and getting a review on your thesis, you went back to your flat, taking a long shower. You had just dressed in pajamas when the doorbell rang. With long strides, you were faced with Carmen, and not Fernando as you expected.

“From your face I take it he hasn’t spoken to you, yes?” Carmen muttered, seeing the visible disappointment in your face.

“I’m sorry, please come in,” you opened the door wider, forcing a smile. Carmen had a couple of bags that she set on a nearby table.

“He told us what happened, I’m so sorry,” Carmen hugged you and you immediately started crying, since you had no one to talk about the past few days, “I brought chocolates and wine, so we can talk.”

Over chocolates and a bottle of Merlot, you told her everything, starting at the deuxmoi rumor. She looked horrified when you said word for word what had transpired the last time you spoke with him.

“I just don’t understand why he didn’t come talk to you yet,” Carmen added, at some point.

“Because he won’t, at all.” You say with your voice shaky from crying so much the past hour.

“Don’t say that. He loves you.” Carmen said.

“I’m not entirely sure about that,” you shrugged, pretending it didn’t hurt as much as it did, “He’ll find another one, someone who can enjoy his money since it seems like it’s all that matters to him.”

Carmen didn’t say anything to that and you knew she couldn’t argue with the facts. Later, George dropped by to get her, going up to your flat so he could hug you quickly and mutter “I’m sorry”.

With a heavy heart, you slowly rebuild a healthy routine again, doing grocery shopping, cooking meals, going to the gym, studying and everything.

One day, you went back home after going on a shopping spree, and as you got into the hall, Fernando was there, standing in your hall, waiting by the door. You stopped, almost losing the timing to leave the elevator. When you walked closer, he noticed you. Meeting his eyes was different this time, uncertain and a little distant.

“What do you want?” You asked, you hoped your voice would come out harsh, but it only sounded defeated.

“Can we talk?” He asked, and you nodded, opening the door and letting him in.

There was a moment of awkward silence as you put the shopping bags down. After doing that, you crossed your arms and stood against a side table, waiting quietly.

“I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, for not fully believing your love, I guess I was so focused in protecting myself, that I ended up hurting you, and it was never my intention,” Fernando stood just two steps away from you, his eyes holding such pain and fear, that it made you crumble, he didn’t look like he’d been sleeping well, “I love you, I really do. For who you are and nothing else.”

You wanted to give in so bad, you wanted to run into his arms and never let go, but you also didn’t want to suffer again.

“How do you know? You never knew that for two years, how would you know it now?” You shook your head, tears starting to fill your eyes again.

“Because it is hard being without you,” he said, like he was trying to find the right words, “I can’t sleep without you. My life is miserable without you around.”

You only nodded, covering your lips with a hand. You wanted to tell him that you had not gotten proper sleep without him, that your life feels empty, that not knowing about him everyday was painful. But you needed more. You needed something you could hold onto, and maybe, just maybe take another chance at the two of you.

“I- I made a list. Like you said,” his voice failed, and you noticed his hand was shaking a little as he held the paper, “I love you. I love coming home to you every time and feel our house so lived in. I love how you always hug me first thing after I’m back home. I love the silly texts you send me randomly throughout the day talking about your day. I love the selfies with your tongue out too,” that made you two chuckle, and the movement made your tears fall, so you wiped them, staring at him intently, “I love that you’re always the smartest person in any room we’re in. I love that you’re humble, never showing off or being a smartass. I love how cheeky and witty you are. I love that you talk in your sleep. I love that scar in your knee, because it shows you were always a little naughty, even as a kid. I love that there’s always fresh flowers at home. I love that you love kids. I love that you get along well with my family. I love that you-”

He didn’t finish, as you closed the distance and launched yourself at him, hugging him tight. Fernando held you close, pressing you into him, inhaling your perfume, feeling like he was at home again.

“I’m so sorry, princesa. So so sorry. I missed you so much,” he whispered against your cheek, kissing it softly.

“I missed you too, Nando” you said, eyes closed and allowing yourself to just feel him again, “I love you so much.”

You let go, holding his face with both hands, looking into his eyes before kissing him softly. He, on the other hand, held the back of your neck firmly, licking your mouth open, until he had tasted your mouth, leaving you breathless.

“Come back home with me, princesa.”

At that, you took a step back.

“I- I can’t, Nando. I got a new job at the university.”

“What?”

“I thought you weren’t coming back to me,” you muttered, and your words made him wince, “I needed something to hold on to.”

“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry” he ran a hand over his face, looking embarrassed for taking so long to come after you.

“I believe we should- we should take a step back, rethink a bit about our dynamic,” you told him, hesitant of his reaction.

“Are you unsure about us?” He asked, visibly worried.

“No, no- I love you- I do-” You started, taking his hand, holding it firmly against yours, “I just think we should rewind a bit. Have my own place and pay my own bills, I just don’t want to feel like that again, I need to regain my dignity in this.”

He kept quiet, because he knew deep down you were right. He felt awful about all the misunderstandings, but he knew you probably felt much, much worse. He should just get on his knees and be thankful you still loved him and still wanted him. He’d take all your conditions to get back with him.

And deep down both of you knew it was for the best. Moving out and living alone, working and seeing him occasionally as a boyfriend. 

Holding your face, he kissed you, leaving little pecks on your lips, your cheeks, your chin, your forehead. You closed your eyes, letting him kiss you, and he muttered how much loved you and how much he missed you, kissing down the side of your neck. He walked you inside and let him, feeling his hands quickly peeling your clothes off, leaving a trail of clothes from the living room to your bedroom.

You parted so you could undress him, pulling at his jacket and the t-shirt.

“I love you, I love you so much,” he mumbled into a kiss, laying you down in bed.

You laid on the bed and he hugged him, making space for him between your legs. He held you, touching your nose with his gently.

“I missed you, princesa,” he kissed your cheek, “I promise I’ll do better from now on.”

“I know you will, baby.” You kissed him again, running your hand down his back, “make love to me now.”

He filled you up at once, and you groaned into his mouth, scratching your nails down his back as you cunt welcomed him. As he fucked into you, slowly at first then picking up pace, he muttered how much he loved you and how sorry he was, over and over.

As you cuddled after, quietly enjoying each other’s company. 

“What do we do about all your gifts?”

“Give them away,” you shrugged.

“Can I convince you to take it back?”

“Not if you still want me in your life,” you muttered. He nodded, placing a gentle kiss on your shoulder.

“You know how I know I love you?” Fernando asked, drawing invisible patterns on your back, “there’s an engagement ring in the third drawer of my bedside table.”

You hesitated for a second, but he knew you well. Better than anyone else.

“I know what you said, I just wanted to let you know. I bought it a week after you moved in with me. I know we’re rewinding a little bit for now, but you’ll be my wife one day.”

“And what if I refuse when you propose?” You smirked, and he pulled your leg over his waist.

“You won’t.”

Note: UGH IDK GUYS :(

[serpentandlily]

We Should Stick Together - Azriel x Reader

We Should Stick Together - Azriel x Reader

Summary: Azriel deals with the aftermath of losing his mate. (Part I)

Warnings: angst, death, self-harm

A/n: An epilogue of sorts to Birds of a Feather - Read HERE. Thanks for all your love!! 

• ───────────────── •

I want you to stay

'Til I'm in the grave

'Til I rot away, dead and buried

'Til I'm in the casket you carry

• ───────────────── •

It was dead silent in the Temple. Many fae had come today to pay their respect and to honor the female that died during the war with Koschei—the female that had bravely lured the Death God to his demise and had ultimately met her own in the end.

Azriel had watched the service from the shadows, consumed by his shame and grief. Grief over losing his mate, his best friend, and the chance at a long life with her. Shame from not being able to protect her, from not realizing the mating bond between the two of them until it was far too late and for those last few words he had spoken to her that had only pushed her further into a suicide mission. 

You just want me to continue being miserable. Because that’s always been why the two of us got along so well. Both lonely and so unhappy and now that I’m finally not, you want to drag me back down. Maybe one day someone will love you the way me and Elain love each other. But just because no one does right now, does not mean I have to give up my happiness to keep being miserable with you.

The words haunted him. 

She haunted him. 

Azriel had always been good at ruining his own life. But saying those words was single handedly the worst mistake he had ever made. He hadn't meant them. Of course he hadn't meant them. He loved Y/n. He had since the day he had met her. She was his closest friend—someone he had felt comfortable with. But he had been so blind...blinded by Mor and her vivacious personality...blinded by Elain and the sunshine she had brought to the Night Court. 

All along his mate had been right by his side. The one person he had been searching for all his years of living had been right in front of him and he hadn't even noticed. 

Azriel walked down the long aisle towards the casket that was displayed on the dais. His footsteps echoed in the now silent chamber—not even his own heart beat could be heard. No, his heart had stopped beating the second hers had. 

He fiddled with the flower in his hand, swallowing the tears and sadness that threatened to consume him. He owed her this. He wasn't going to run and hide himself in the shadows as he'd been doing the past week. He needed to be here today. 

Azriel finally stopped in front of the casket and choked on his own bile as the sweet, comforting scent of his mate reached his nose. This felt all too much like a nightmare—one he was stuck in with no way out. Cursed to repeat this day from beginning to end for the rest of his existence. 

She would never stop haunting him.

And he didn't want her to. 

If the ghost of her was the only thing left of his mate in this world, he would cling to it for the rest of his days. 

Azriel placed the spirit lily on top of the casket, the glowing silver petals matched the marble stone. He had searched day and night to find this flower. It was your spirit lily. The one that had bloomed when you died. 

"I'm so sorry," he cried, the tears finally falling. "I'm so sorry." 

He fell to his knees before the casket, one scarred hand sliding along the cold marble as he continued to repeat those words over and over and over again. 

"I am so sorry."

• ───────────────── •

If you go, I'm going too, 

'Cause it was always you, alright

And if I'm turning blue, please don't save me

Nothing left to lose without my baby

• ───────────────── •

Azriel's ears were ringing as he sat at the kitchen table in the cottage that Elain and he had purchased a few weeks before their wedding. It was the first time he had stepped inside since the war with Koschei. It was the first time he'd even been in the Night Court since the loss of his mate and best friend. 

"I understand that you need time to process this, Azriel, I really do," Elain pleaded with him. "But we made vows to each other the day we married. Vows that were supposed to transcend any mating bond." 

Azriel's shadows wailed from the corners of the room. They had started searching for Y/n the day she died and hadn't stopped their cries of panic since then.

It had been a month already.

A whole, entire month had passed by without you. 

And here he was—dark circles lining his eyes, stubble on his hollowed jaw and a song he'd never hear again playing on repeat in his mind. His mating song. His soul's song. His soul that was desperately crying out for its other half. 

"I can't do this, Elain," he spoke, voice hoarse from disuse. "I'm sorry." 

"That's it? That's all you have to say?" Elain questioned, crossing her arms and leaning on the kitchen counter. "Azriel, I rejected my own mate for you. I...I thought we were in this together. We talked about the day you might find your own and we agreed that you'd reject it too." 

"I know," Azriel whispered, his forlorn eyes stuck on the cracks on the floor. "But I didn't know what I was giving up the day we made those vows, Elain. I'm sorry. I truly am. But this...this is different. Lucien was a stranger to you. I thought if I ever met my mate, she'd be a stranger to me as well. But Y/n was my best friend. I've loved her for centuries."

"All that time together and yet, you still never went after her," Elain argued. 

Those words landed a heavy blow in his gut. Elain was right. He had known his mate for years and years and never once did he think of her as anything more than a friend. But that wasn't because of her. No, he had done that to himself. 

He had found a companion with Y/n. She saw him in ways no one else did. He'd be lying if he said that hadn't scared him. For someone to see through him—through all the good and to the rotting, decaying bad that existed in him. He was a monster hiding in plain sight and she had seen that. She had seen all of that and loved him anyway. 

And he had ran from it—from her. It was his own self-hatred that caused him to never see Y/n that way. She reminded him of everything that he was because she was all the same. She was the missing piece to his broken soul. But she had been beautiful in her darkness, hauntingly exquisite in her shadows. And he had been a brutish beast who thought that someone could vanquish the darkness that surrounded him.

What he hadn't realized was that he was never looking for a light to cast the shadows away. Not really. He had been fighting a storm whose tides had only been trying to bring him home to her. To his mate. His soul and heart and mind.  

And now she was gone and she had taken all of his love with her. 

Azriel stood from his seat, barely present in this reality. "I'm sorry, Elain. No words will change my mind nor my heart. I belonged to Y/n. It is only my fault that I never saw that." 

And it was his fault. 

All of it was his fault. ��

• ───────────────── •

And I don't know what I'm crying for

I don't think I could love you more

It might not be long, but baby, I

I'll love you 'til the day that I die

• ───────────────── •

"Papa, who is that?"

Nyx's innocent voice caught Rhysand's attention. He followed Nyx's gaze to the corner of the room where Azriel stood, wreathed in his shadows. It had been years since any of them had laid eyes on the elusive shadowsinger. Years since he had been so consumed with his grief that he had disappeared from this court, from Prythian entirely. 

But there was one day he always returned.

The anniversary of Y/n's death. 

Cassian had ambushed him before he made it to her gravesite and all but dragged him to this family dinner. It broke Rhysand's heart that his son didn't recognize one of his uncles.

"That's Azriel," Rhysand answered, clearing his throat. "He's one of your uncles. He used to be around a lot when you were just a baby." 

"Oh," Nyx said, tilting his head as he looked at the shadowsinger. "He seems...sad. Why is he so sad, Papa?" 

Rhysand's heart snapped in his chest. The loss of Y/n had been felt by all of them, of course. But for Azriel...it had destroyed him. None of them had known about the mating bond between the two of them. They had been caught off guard just as much as Azriel had been. Rhys had felt an inkling that she might've been in love with him due to her slowly distancing herself once he and Elain had gone public with their relationship.

He had only thought she needed space and time. He hadn't realized that she had been slowly wilting away. And no one had done a single thing to help her. They had all failed her. 

Sometimes he felt a fire-burning rage towards his brother. He had tried to steer him away from Elain that Solstice night but Azriel hadn't listened to him. Perhaps if he had, Y/n might still be here. Perhaps the mating bond would've finally snapped in place for Azriel. But instead he had stubbornly doubled-down on his feelings for Elain. 

"He lost someone he loved," Rhys choked out. "We all did. Do you remember the stories about Y/n?" 

Nyx clapped his tiny hands together with a smile. Gwyn had made sure that Y/n's name had been honored and recorded in the new books about the war with Koschei. A story that was being passed down through the years. A story Nyx had read time and time again because it was his favorite. 

"She was the warrior who faced a Death God all on her own!" Nyx exclaimed. "She led him straight to the trap where he was ambushed!"

Rhysand smiled, patting his son on the head. It had been too hard to speak her name after her death but slowly, they had all started talking about her more and more. Perhaps it was finally time to tell his son the whole story. Rhys glanced at Azriel again, who was a shell of his former self. Perhaps not the whole story.

"Well, before all of that," Rhys started, "Y/n was our friend..."

• ───────────────── •

Birds of a feather, we should stick together, I know

I said I'd never think I wasn't better alone

Can't change the weather, might not be forever

But if it's forever, it's even better

• ───────────────── •

Azriel was kneeling on the grass, his hands grasping the beautiful stone marker of your gravesite as his eyes combed over the engraving: 

Here lies Y/n

Beloved Daughter, Sister and Friend

The stars will shine brighter with you among them 

Rest in Peace

"I have tried to go on for your sake," Azriel murmured. "Because I know that is what you would've wanted. But I can't...I can't do this without you. I relive every day I've shared with you and it is still not enough to make me miss you any less. I am sorry that it took your death to make me realize just how much you meant to me." 

Azriel had gone through it all in his head time and time again. Always reliving moments where he could've seen what was right in front of him all along yet didn't. Your last words to him constantly looped in his mind. 

"I'll find...you...again. Maybe...maybe I'll be...good enough...then."

Those words could not be more untrue. It was always him who had never been good enough for you. Not you. Never you. You had always been as beautiful as the moon reflected on the sea, alluring and mysterious but peaceful. So peaceful. Despite the darkness the two of you shared, you'd always been so soft and kind to those around you...those who had never felt the kind of pain you'd gone through. 

You lured people in because of your grace. You gave people a safe place to exist in. Your shadows had felt like a warm blanket on a chilly night. Your smile had rivaled the moonlight. 

You had always been far more special than you knew. 

Your mistake had been thinking you could out love his hatred for himself. 

But the mating bond had opened his eyes. Although he had only gotten a few seconds with his mate, its song had told him everything he needed to know. He no longer hated his shadows or the anger he felt inside. He no longer hated himself. How could he? How could he hate himself when part of him was you? 

And he could never hate you. 

Gods, he could never be without you. Your souls were intertwined. 

But living in this world without you was something he could not bear. He was consumed by your memory. He looked for you in everything. In the sea, in the breeze, in the faces of random people, down alleyways and behind every door. But you were not here. You were not here and so he decided he could not be here, either. 

"You said you'd find me again," Azriel whispered. "You said you'd find me again but that is not enough. I cannot sit here and wait for you. I will crawl through Hell and everything that is ready for me when my life ends to find you. This life means nothing to me without you in it. You were my heart, Y/n. I love you. I've always loved you. And I am ready to prove that in our next life."

Azriel slid Truth-teller from its sheath and turned it over in his hand, pointing the blade directly as his own heart. He closed his eyes, tuned out all noise except that of the leaves gently rustling in the breeze. 

"I love you, Y/n," he murmured, gripping the blade tighter. "And I can't wait to see you again." 

His dagger pierced through skin and bone until it reached his heart. 

Until all life was spilled from inside of him. 

Until his final breath carried with the wind. 

Until he could finally see his love again.

• ───────────────── •

I knew you in another life

You had that same look in your eyes

I love you, don't act so surprised

[tan1shere]

Bite It Lick it Spit It

Billie Eilish x female reader

A/n: I don't think I need to say anything here lovelies, enjoy !!

Summary: Billie is excited to show you this new song shes featured in, reciting her lyrics to you. Until she's recreating them on you.

Warnings: smut, mdni ! Spit ?? Eating out, strap usage, orgasm denial, squirting !! Think that's it <3

Masterlist ... extra ;)

"Babyyy."

You hear your girlfriend say, coming into the bedroom you both shared. She had her phone in hand, obviously about to show you something.

"Everything alright?" You ask setting your book down. It was currently 7 pm, she had been in the small studio downstairs. Working away on something. "More than alright. I want to show you what I have so far on this remix I'm doing." You smile at her as she sits beside you on the bed, excited to hear this. You always loved listening to the songs she'd make or was in. And you were so incredibly proud that this was going to be with another big star.

'Don’t have to guess the color of your underwear

Already know what you’ve got goin’ on down there'

She chants and you smile just enjoying listening to the lyrics.

'It’s that lacy black pair with the little bows'

That reminds you of a pair you own.

Wait...

'The ones I picked out for you in Tokyo'

Now she has your full attention. Sure you were listening to the lyrics beforehand, but now you're really listening. Her eyes were still on her phone, reading off the lyrics. Until her eyes met yours.

'I saw them when you sat down, they were peekin’ out'

Did she really write this about you? You had a pair of underwear exactly like the one she's talking about, you wore them alot actually. They were your favorite. Especially when she mentioned Tokyo. That was incredibly specific as that's where the pair was from. She had bought them for you as a gift when you traveled there for your birthday last year. Both yours and Billies eyes lock onto one another's. But she didn't stop there, keeping that eye contact alive.

'I'm gonna tell you right now, they're all I'm thinkin' about'

"True." She then whispers. Your brows furrow, feeling nervous at the insanity of this moment. Her eyes bore into your own, making you shift a little bit. Your eyes avert her lustful ones.

'I wanna try it, bite it, lick it, spit it. Pull it to the side and get all up in it'

You hadn't even realized she sat her phone down on her bedside table, and was inching closer to your body. "You wanna guess who that song is about." She speaks softly into your ear. You gulp, her voice delicate. Holding such filth at the same time. You don't answer for a second, trying to gain your composure. "Me....?" You question. She only smirks and let's out a small hum. Her body moves to hover over your own, instantly leaning down to kiss you. "I saw a photo of you on my phone from a year ago today. And that's what inspired me." She mumbles against the skin of your neck, as her kisses move all over the place. "Your crossed legs, in that skirt." You swallow thickly. Remembering that photo. You had your arms up in the air, sitting on a random beautiful fountain.

"That's why I mentioned how the straps were peaking out.. those baby pink bows." She bites down on your neck, making a gasp escape your lips. Your eyes shut in instinct as she continues on. "'Kiss it, bite it, can I fit it?'" The only thing you manage to get out was. "Fuck me."

She glady took that offer. Making her way down your body, getting to her destination. She pulls the pair to the side. "Wish it was the black ones." She trails off, slowly revealing your wet, sticky folds to her. Her eyes becoming drowsy, full of desire for you. She bit her lips slightly, grabbing the underwear by the top. And pulling them down, off your body, discarding them somewhere. Her favorite thing, on display for her. She had to admire for a little bit. But that just made you grow impatient. "Billie-" "shhh." She says, as her finger comes close to your puffy heat. She then quickly licks a small stripe up the middle, before she pulls back contemplating.

She spits directly onto your cunt, letting it slide down slightly. The big bit of saliva staying there for a second, before her face is directly infront of it. Her tongue sticks out and straight into your weeping, aching hole. Pushing the spit inside you. She pulls back to look at the mixture of wetness. And she did both. She managed to get you that wet. It was her spit now deep inside you. God she was proud at the thought. However she wasn't even done with penetrating your pussy. Her face is back in its original spot. Her lips make contact with your own, sending your head back into the pillows. Your hands eventually move to her silky hair, gripping as she speeds up her pace, her tongue entering you also.

It all felt amazing, when she does something unexpected. Her teeth sink into the lip of your pussy, biting and sucking all at once. It felt incredible. Why hadn't she done that sooner. "Bil.." You breathe, moaning on and off. "Feels so, good." You blab, still having your eyes shut. Feeling her lips move into her famous smirk, knowing that boosted her ego entirely. Your high was approaching and fast.

"Nooo." You then huff. Feeling her tongue move from you. Looking down at your fucked out body. Her smirk is ofcourse still visible at your little frustrated pout. "You're so annoying." You breathe, sinking into the sheets again.

"You won't be saying that in a second." Your head shot up again to look at her, but as soon as you do that a loud moan is being ripped out of you. How the hell did this woman put her strap on so quickly. She really wasn't kidding when she said 'in a second.' Impressive. A little hot in a way. Your mind turns into mush though, almost her whole length inside of you. "Had to get you worked open babe, yet you're still so tight." Another moan was to be heard, letting your eyes flutter close again, back instantly arching. Only thing visible in your brain are the lyrics to that song, and how she's recreating them all. "Guess I can fit it huh?" She then says, coming close to your face. "Speak." She orders you like a dog, when you don't respond.

"Y-yes.. feel so full." Her smirk returns to her face, picking up the speed. "Good. Just how it should." You let out another gasp again, feeling her thumb playing with your clit. This makes her chuckle, maliciously. She continues to fuck you relentlessly, beginning to let her hands roam over your skin, she pushes the baggy t-shirt you were wearing up, exposing your tits. They move in time with her thrusts. Her mind overflows with every disgusting but amazing fantasy. Your breath hitches as you feel cool metal on your breasts, looking to see her hands kneading them. How well they fit in her hands as she squished.

As her fingers move while doing so, you feel that same cold metal on your nipple making a shakey, content sigh leave you. It eventually turning into a moan as she squeezes again. She comes down to your face, your eyes were closed. "Look at me." She speaks, grabbing your jaw. You immediately open your eyes looking at her dark ones, which was always such a shock as they are so bright. Her face inches down towards your ear, she gives it a soft kiss before she's whispering. "Wanna make you squirt." Your eyes widen tremendously. If you weren't flustered before you really are now.

As you go to respond it was cut short, her thumb resumed on your clit, her thrusts are deeper, her ring covered fingers gripping your jaw. Her lips on your neck only adding to that, as she used the fuck out of you. You feel it coming, that tight knot. But you didn't have to say a word. She knew. She could feel it. It getting slightly harder for her at the way you're tightening, but that was a challenge she wanted to conquer. Obviously succeeding, she hits that gummy spot inside you, sending your mouth to fly open. "B-bil-" Yet another gasp was being pulled from you, it being loud in her ear as she continues to fuck the shit out of you.

Her pace never falters. Her thumb even speeding up as she sucks and bites your neck. You wanted to tell her you were close, as if she didn't already know. Your hands make their way to her arms, gripping as it's coming faster. "Fuck!" You screech out, you couldn't hold it any longer releasing within an instant, feeling her smirk into your neck. "And boom." She says into your ear, her voice husky. You hadn't even noticed it, but she actually did make you squirt. Your fucked out expression gives billie all she needs to know.

"Guess I'm just, that. good."

[pbueckerslover]

YOU WANNA GUESS THE COLOR OF MY UNDERWEAR - CAITLIN CLARK

a/n: not proofread !! i suggest listening to the song while reading billie’s voice makes me go feral 😮‍💨😮‍💨

pairing(s): caitlin clark x female!reader

warnings: language, smut, oral (r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), strap on use, pure filth honestly

summary: based on this request! 𐙚

don’t have to guess the color of your underwear

already know what you got goin’ on down there

you and caitlin have been dating for a little over a year now. the two of you were currently out at dinner with a couple of her teammates celebrating a big win. she was sitting right next to you and she had been extra clingy with you all night. you weren’t exactly sure why but you weren’t complaining.

it’s that lacy black pair with the little bows

the ones i picked out for you in tokyo

earlier that night when you were getting ready you slipped on a matching set that you knew caitlin loved. the bra was black and lacy while the underwear were also black and lacy but had little black bows on either side.

she picked it out for you when on your guys’ previous trip to japan. the minute she saw it she knew it would be perfect for you. the first time she saw it actually on you she swore she fell in love with you all over again.

whenever you wore it, it absolutely drove her crazy and you knew that. so you put it on with the intention of hoping she would notice sometime throughout the night. and little did you know that’s exactly why she couldn’t keep her hands off of you the whole night.

i saw them when you sat down, they were peekin’ out

i’m gonna tell you right now, they’re all i’m thinkin’ about

at some point during the dinner you noticed her staring down at your back. you could tell that your skirt had slipped down a little and your underwear were starting to peek out.

you saw her shift uncomfortably and gulp slightly. “you ok cait?” you heard kate ask and she just nodded. she was not okay. all that she could think about was those fucking underwear and the fact that she could see the little bows creeping out.

all she wanted to do was grab you and pull you into the nearest bathroom. she sat there trying to keep herself cool. trying to think about literally anything else. but she just couldn’t help herself. she could practically feel herself getting wet at just the thought of you.

you knew exactly what was going on with her, so you decided you wanted to tease her a little bit. you moved your skirt a little so your underwear became even more exposed than before. you turned yourself so only she could see what you were doing.

you moved so close to her that you were basically on her lap at this point. no one else seemed to notice, too caught up in their own conversations to be paying any attention.

she knew exactly what you were doing and she simply couldn’t take it anymore. “hey guys i think me and y/n are gonna head out. i’m not feeling too good.” she told her teammates.

“oh okay. feel better cait.” hannah said smiling at the two of you. you all said your goodbyes before caitlin was practically pulling you out of the restaurant.

once you had may your way out, you started making your way home. she didn’t say a word to you the entire way home. you were confused by her sudden change of behavior but tried not to question it too much.

once you had arrived back to your shared apartment, caitlin was already leaning into you before you even got the door open.

i wanna try it, bite it, lick it, spit it

pull it to the side, and get all up in it

she picked you up and carried you over to the bed, setting you down gently. she climbed on top of you while tugging on your top. “want this off.” she whispered, sending shivers through your whole body.

you did as she said, removing your shirt which revealed the top half of the set she loved so much. she smirked at you before placing kisses to your chest and boobs. you moaned out as she started to move lower, trailing more kisses on your stomach.

she took of your skirt, finally leaving you in the full thing. she was practically drooling at the sight of you. she tugged on your underwear with her teeth causing you to let out another moan. she took one hand to pull them to the side while using the other to rub your clit.

she replaced her fingers with her mouth moving her tongue across your folds. your moans filled the room causing her to smirk at you once again. “fuck! baby feels so fucking good!” you yelled out.

she moved her tongue faster inside your hole while simultaneously using her fingers to rub your clit. you could feel yourself getting closer to your climax. you moved your hands to her hair tugging on it as she continued pleasuring you.

“want you to cum all over my tongue baby.” she said while looking up at you. the look she gave you was just enough to send you over the edge. once again, you did exactly what she said, your release landing all over her tongue.

she stood up and disappeared for a quick second before returning with the strap she had used on you one too many times before. you smiled at the sight of her undressing herself and putting it on.

kiss it, ride it, can i fit it?

she made her way back over to you returning to her spot on the bed. “you were such a naughty girl tonight. teasing me with these god damn underwear.” she snarled. “in front of all my friends…” she grabbed onto them before slowly removing them, revealing your pretty pussy.

she lined her tip up with your entrance, slamming into you with no warning. your moans became louder as she thrusted into you. “gonna have to fuck some sense into you huh?” she growled while grabbing onto your hips attempting to guide herself.

you dug your nails into her back holding onto her as she continued fucking you. “shit it’s too much cait… can’t take it.” you mumbled the pleasure starting to become too much for you to bare.

“nuh uh, i know you can take it baby.” she said fucking herself into you harder. “see just like that. good girl.” she whispered into your ear. you could tell you were close yet again and she could too. that was her sign to thrust into you one last time before you came all over her cock.

she pulled herself out of you and then proceeded to clean the two of you up. she climbed back into bed with you and pulled you closer to her. “god i love you so much.” she whispered before laying her head on your shoulder.

“i love you more cait..” you replied while positioning yourself to be more comfortable.

⇾ make sure to checkout my masterlist if you enjoyed! any type of interaction is appreciated :,)

⇾ thank you sm for reading all the way through!!! i hope you enjoyed it! i loved writing this i’m literally obsessed with this song atm. i’m planning on my next fic to be for morgan so stay tuned!!!! i love you guys 💝💝💝