#Blackbeard is very annoying to me and I will NOT shut up about it

[zaimta]

Hiii! Are your requests open? I’ve been reading your OP stories and I loooove them!

So I was wondering if I can request a story where Ace and zoro are both interested in you, like hella interested and causes a lot of tension ? You can choose how it ends and who reader ends up with lol.

zai broadcasts - pre time skip zoro gotta love him man this idea was a serve anon, im gonna split this into 2 parts bc i actually love both of them and i can’t pick one and i have ideas for both that i wanna use so stay tuned for em!!

˗ˏˋzoro ver. ˗ˏˋace ver.

˗ˏˋ«────── « 𓆩♡𓆪 » ──────»

“nice to meet you everyone i’m ace, and thank you for taking care of my kid brother by the way i know he can be a bit much.”

“oh no he is the near death situations we’ve been in is insane…and you just got on the grand line??”

ace laughed at your snarkiness “that is true he has a tendency to not think!”

nami shrugged her shoulders “well if we’re being honest here i don’t get paid enough to die every five minutes.”

“agreed.” the remaining stawhats spoke in unison slightly annoying their captain.

“hey i’m an excellent captain thank you very much!”

after the reunion between brothers ace revealed he was looking for a man named blackbeard and since their paths collided he decided to travel along with luffy and his crew.

“so are you gonna stop staring at him or go talk to him?” nami nudged you with a grin becoming aware of your little crush on ace.

you nudged her back with burning cheeks “shut up! it’s not like that nami.”

she rolled her eyes and mimicked your voice while fluttering her eyelashes “oh ace you’re so handsome! oh ace you’re hotter than your devil fruit! oh ace the things i’d let you do to me-”

“nami!” you shouted in embarrassment your face growing warm at her horrible impressions and the fact that he might’ve heard.

“the logical thing here would be to just talk to him! it’s not everyday you see a catch like him on the grandline y/n.”

“yeah…” you sighed looking over to where the green haired swordsman was leaned the mast he was napping as per usual, but the way the sun hit his skin just right. you couldn’t help but to stare, accidentally zoning nami out in the process only hearing her again when he gently nudges you for your attention.

“oohhh zoro too huh” she smirked at you but then sighed “personally im team ace im pretty sure he can pay his debts on time…”

“oh speak of the devil here he comes~” nami’s eyes followed ace as he walked along the deck of the merry, she noticed how his eyes lit up once he spotted you and she smirked to herself.

you turned around making eye contact with ace and turned around immediately, which caused nami to laugh at you being to nervous. “ready or not here he comes” she giggled.

“hey y/n, how are you doing”

nami giggled “oh? so excited to see them you forgot all about me?” ace attempted to respond but nami cuts him off speaking with a devilish grin directed towards you “up bup up! i’ll leave you two love birds to talk okay?” she ways goodbye to the two of you and walks into the kitchen of the merry.

ace sighs and sits next to you on the deck, his shoulder softly brushing against yours “so what was that all about?” he chuckles while pointing in nami’s direction. you roll your eyes with a slight smile on your face “that’s just how nami is, y’a know sweet dependable, insufferable nami…so” you look him in the eyes “what’s life like for you on the seas mr. ‘fire fist’” ace smiles at you “oh you know sailing, meeting amazing people, can’t forget running from the navy.”

you chuckle a bit “you don’t say?”

he chuckles “yup, the best part has been meeting amazing people like you” he takes his hat off and places it on your head with a grin “you’re quite the catch y/n.”

from the kitchen sanji watched the two of you on the deck, and suddenly gasped loudly which got the attention of nami and zoro “that bastard?! taking my y/n like that?!?” he shouts angrily. nami raises a brow “what now?” sanji points at the window with tears welling up in his eyes “everyone knows that if a cowboy puts their hat on someone, they’re claiming that person, that bastard just claimed y/n!” he speaks through sobs “nami-swan hold meeeee” me leapt into her arm’s crying into her shirt so she had no choice but to comfort the cook “there there” nami rolls her eyes while patting his back lightly.

“so what you’re saying his y/n is his now?” zoro said suddenly grabbing the attention of nami and the weeping cook, nami smirks at the swordsman “what do you have a crush on y/n or something? y/n looks cozy with ace don’t you think, are you sure you can’t even make a dent in that?”

zoro sucks his teeth “what’s that supposed to mean?” nami’s smirk grew wider and there was a mischievous glint in her eyes “im saying that y/n seems pretty into ace, unless you’re into y/n and you want to change that.” zoro snaps at the ship’s navigator in frustration “of course i want to change that!”

zoro’s eyes grow wide at what he said and a brush quickly creeps up his neck and spreads across his face “i mean-”

sanji looks at zoro in shock while nami has a grin on her face, she points towards the deck where the two of you are sitting “so how about you go do something about it, swordsman.”

[gaybananabread]

⁠✧.*Are You Listening?*⁠.⁠✧

~Ehehehe the brain maggots won and I can’t say I’m upset by it (＾⩌＾). I’ve binged this show enough times to be put into all kinds of moods by these men, so I might as well write out my feelings. This is set right after S1 Ep. 7, so if you haven’t watched up to there, expect some spoilers! For anyone else who has pirate-based thought goblins, I hope you Enjoy!~

Lee: Edward

Ler: Stede

Summary: Stede goes on a small rant about what happened on their latest adventure, though Edward isn’t fully listening. When he notices this, he calls the man out, but is met with a rather fascinating reaction.

Warnings: mild Our Flag Means Death spoilers! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!!

Bobbing with the current, the Revenge drifted peacefully through the sea. Most of the crew was on-deck, chatting and messing around in their moment of peace. However, in the captain’s quarters, two men relaxed, one info-dumping while the other thumbed through random numbers of Stede’s vast collection of novels.

“And did you see that bird’s nest? They had to be Snowy Plovers, no question. Oh, I wish Lucius had brought his sketching journal.”  Stede sighed dreamily, slowly pacing around the room as he spoke. 

Ed hummed, not looking up from the copy of Hansel and Grettle. Stede had allowed him to browse whatever he wanted in the library, though he rarely read anything cover-to-cover. The blonde man continued, not yet noticing his companion’s lack of attention.

“There were so many interesting creatures on that island! I mean, the orange was the real treasure in it all, but I do so enjoy exploring nature when we travel.” Turning on his heel, he spun to face the bearded man once again. “What do you think, Ed?” 

“Uh-huh, yeah. Good, uh, land and shit,” Edward half-heartedly replied, flipping a few more pages into the book. That’s when Stede finally noticed that he wasn’t really listening.

“Edward!” The pirate jolted, shutting the book and actually meeting Stede’s eyes. “You weren’t even listening to me, were you?” Stede huffed, crossing his arms with an almost adorable pout.

“Uh…kinda? I mean, I heard the bit about the birds…” Ed mumbled most of his response, looking away. Yeah, he’d only heard a few words of the other man’s spiel. “Fuckin’, uh…book was distracting.”

With a huff, Stede sat down beside him, picking up the book. “I’m glad you’re interested in literature, but I was talking. It’s a bit rude to ignore people, isn’t it?” While he was a bit annoyed, Stede’s tone was a joking one. He even poked the man’s ribs in a playful manner, though he hadn’t expected Ed’s flinch.

“Damn, did I hurt you?” Stede sounded worried, a profanity even slipping in. He was more panicked than a normal friend should’ve been, though neither commented on it. 

“No, didn’t hurt. Takes more than a fuckin’ finger to hurt me.” Ed swatted Stede’s hand away, his beard hiding the very slight blush on his cheeks. He hadn’t felt a touch like that since…well, it’d certainly been a while. “Just felt…I dunno, fuckin’ weird.” 

“Weird?” Stede spoke softly, his worry melding into confusion. What could possibly feel weird to Blackbeard? He’d only lightly poked the man, and his ribs aren’t…oh. Oh. It took everything Stede had to keep a straight face as he said his next words.

“Might your ribs be a bit sensitive, Ed?” 

Edward nearly did a double-take at the words and his tone, snapping his head in the other man’s direction. “Sensitive? I’m…I’m fuckin’ Blackbeard. Sensitivity doesn’t apply to me.”

Stede rolled his eyes. Yeah right… Stifling a smirk, the blonde slowly slid his hand towards Ed’s side. Before he could do anything, though, a rough hand snatched his wrist. Edward’s eyes met his, full of some unreadable emotion.

“Don’t. Don’t you fuckin’ dare, Bonnet.” His tone was gruff and dark, though the emotion in his eyes gained some depth. It was almost…giddy? The word felt foreign when describing Ed, though it fit to a tee.

“Hmmm…I think I fucking do.” Using his other hand, he squeezed Edward’s side. The feeling was such a shock that a damned giggle left the dread pirate’s mouth, his arms moving to clamp to his sides.

That sound made Stede’s stomach fill with a strange fluttering feeling—one he often felt around Edward. He decided to pursue it, scooting closer and wiggling his fingers into Ed’s stomach. 

The feeling wasn’t that intense through his layers of clothing, but it definitely still tickled. Biting his lip, Ed squirmed, trying to shove at Stede’s hands while still protecting himself. It should be noted, however, that he didn’t put up much of a real fight.

“My, Edward. I think someone’s a bit ticklish…” Stede chuckled, trying to slip his fingers under Ed’s arms. He’d had a small taste of the other man’s laughter, and had become hooked, He had to hear more. “I think it’d feel a bit nicer if you let out that laughter, Ed. Don’t you?”

When the eccentric man managed to wedge his fingers up to Ed’s ribs, the pirate knew he was done for. The dam broke, surprisingly bright giggles filling the quarters. They were still gruff, of course—still, the happy air was hard to ignore. 

“Oh dear. I think someone’s got a case of the giggles~” Stede cooed, one hand wiggling on the man’s ribs as the other poked and spidered on his belly. Was he pushing his luck? Oh, absolutely. It was, however, well worth it to see Ed’s silly smile.

 “F-fuhuhuck- Stehehede! Fuhuck ohohoff!” Twisting and wriggling around, Ed hid his face in his shoulder. The bearded man’s heavy boots skidded on the wooden floor, leaving small scuffs. Stede would deal with that later.

The feeling was…well, it wasn’t awful for Edward. He would never let the crew see him like that, of course; he had a reputation to maintain. With Stede, however, it felt nice to laugh. To let a few of his walls down without the fear of the mental rubble coming back to crush him. He wasn’t going to admit any of that, but it was true: his blush, however, was a different story.

“Well, I would, but I think I can see some pink underneath that salt and pepper of yours. Are you blushing, Eddy?” Stede used a slight nickname, his tone incredibly playful and teasing. He was determined to keep Ed giggling for as long as possible. 

“Screhehew youhu!” Edward tried arching his back, but that only freed his ribs up more. Slipping his fingers beneath Ed’s leather, Stede wiggled his fingers against the thinner fabric of his undershirt. That got quite the reaction.

“GRK- FAHAHAHAHA! FUHUHUCK YOUHUHUHU!” Ed’s bright giggles ramped up to loud, raucous laughter. A few snorts worked their way in, making Stede’s heart melt. Oh, how he loved that sound…

“I must say, this is a fine symphony. I’m loving all the onomatopoeias, and your laugh is so melodic!” Wanting to be a bit more mean, Stede hummed a lovely tune by Bach, pretending that his fellow seamen’s ribs and belly were piano keys. “I just love tickling the ivories, don’t you?”

The bearded man couldn’t respond, too lost in laughter to form a coherent sentence. While it was nice to laugh his cares away, he was starting to wear out. His throat was drying up, and his sides were starting to ache. He patted Stede’s wrist, managing to speak through his amusing cackles. “S-STAHAHAP! STEHEHEDE!”

Immediately, Stede pulled away, sensing Ed’s weariness. He didn’t want to push too much. “Goodness, Ed, I-I’m sorry. I got a bit carried away. Are you alright?”

Closing his eyes, Edward took a few deep and giggly breaths. He was certainly tired, but not to an uncomfortable degree. “Qu-quit worryin’... Takes mohore than a little laugh to knohock Blackbeard down.” The red hue on his cheeks slowly subsided, his giggles drying up. Ed recovered pretty quickly.

“Good, good,” Stede sighed, smiling softly. Finally noticing that his hands were still on Edward, he scooted away, blushing. Ed cut him off before he could make a fool of himself. 

“Ya know, it’s been a while since anyone’s had the balls to do somethin’ like that to me. Good on ya, Stede.” He clapped the blonde on the shoulder, though didn’t let go after. Instead, he flipped their positions, swiftly pinning Stede to the couch and nearly straddling him.

Ed made quick work of Stede’s resistance, even though there was hardly any to deal with. “There’s a reason for that, though. Wanna guess why?” He pinned the flamboyant man’s arms above his head without any hesitation. Stede couldn’t help the squeaky giggles that bubbled out of him, already squirming. He shook his head. Edward leaned down and whispered in his ear, scraggly beard hair tickling the poor man’s neck. He was in for a long evening...

“I always get my revenge~”

[victorie552onepiecespeedrun]

Reading One Piece pt 297: On Fate

Chapter 544

Thoughts:

- Fpos/cs: Sanji in a dress!!! His hair is amazing, his make-up is abysmal and honestly I’m scared. I don’t understand why they put him in a dress if he didn’t want to have one. It makes me remember childhood traumas and I would rather not

…Well Sanji, at least you don’t have fish stockings?

- how many rings can a person have, calm down Blackbeard

- Blackbeard is making a very important speech. I guess I’ll type all of that

- “After first meeting you, I soon found out that you were the one who defeated that former Warlord of the Sea, Crocodile, over there, Straw Hat Luffy!” *cue annoyed Crocodile*

- I wanted to become one of the Seven Warlords so I figured the best way to show the Government that I was the man for the job was to bring them your head” not a BAD strategy I must admit

- oh, he wanted to attack Luffy at Water 7. Wow, there was disaster after disaster in that place, imagine adding Blackbeard to the mix D: we would have to say goodbye to One Piece, really lucked out on this one, Luffy

- “But Fate… protected you!” …um, no, Ace and dumb luck protected him

- “Ace has been chasing me because I committed a terrible crime aboard Whitebeard’s ship. And by curious coincidence, he was your brother! Because I said I was going to kill you, he was unable to turn back! You see? If he let us go, not only would he defile the name of Whitebeard… his own brother would be killed!” …It kinda sounds like what I just said but it’s said by Blackbeard so I don’t like it. It also seems to me like it was Blackbeard who lucked out – his plan worked, he only just kinda shrugged and traded Luffy for Ace because why not, and if Ace’s already there…  

- “There’s no such thing as a coincidence, there’s only Fate.” “You’re a very lucky man.” “Captain doesn’t need your head anymore.” “Your brother fought bravely!” I applaud a loyal crew but they annoy me too. Also, Champion, why would you say that last thing to Luffy, it’s plain stupid

- “You’d better remember to thank Ace at his grave! If he hadn’t shown up then, you’d be dead now.” HOW ABOUT NO and Blackbeard, don’t act like Ace showing up was some divine intervention or something, he was Literary looking for you all over Grand Line

- “THEN WHY DON’T YOU TRY ME NOW!!??” *WHUP*  ha! Told you to leave Luffy alone!

- NO WAIT DON’T FIGHT SHIT ABORT MISSION!!! SHIT SHIT SHIT

- “Blood? Isn’t he made of rubber?” He is!!

- “That’s enough! You have to control your temper! Remember what you’re here for!” oh thank God for Jimbei, he’s stopping Luffy!

- “Don’t waste your time and energy fighting him! It’s not going to help you rescue Ace!” yeah!

- why is everyone just looking at that conversation, DO SOMETHING PEOPLE (strong people that is. Prisoners and guards should stay down)

- Crocodile speaks

- (why are they standing and talking. If Blackbeard isn’t here for Luffy, then why is he here. All of this feels very dangerous)

- “You’re Blackbeard, right? I heard some no-name pirate from Whitebeard’s ship had taken my place… but this is strange.” Crocodile’s asking why he’s here, he should be at Navy HQ. Well, YEAH

- “Everything is going according to my plan. Which I’m not telling you” ok then. Smart of him

- “Fine, I don’t care anyway” gee, ok

- Magellan is here! For a moment I was actually really happy about it. But he’s not here to rescue Luffy from Blackbeard of course. I have a very short memory

- and just like that everyone is moving again

- RUN RUN RUN to the higher levels!

-  “Awakened zoan types” …didn’t I read about that somewhere. I think that’s important

- guys, I think Shiryu deserted. He wasn’t planning at helping guards at all. Oh, what a betrayal

- (I’m not really surprised, he was a prisoner on LEVEL 6, but I also kind of am - WG indoctrination runs deep after all)

- Cameras are down. Everything is falling apart in this prison. I’m smiling so much my face hurts

- “Nothing is going our way! How could a single intruder spark all this mayhem!?” *maniacal laugher*

- on Level 2, Buggy and Galdino are up and at them again :) Blackbeard sure helped them here

- uh?

- “I’m gonna rescue Ace no matter what!” “Haha… I won’t say you’re wasting your time. Nothing’s impossible in this world.” …?  ? ??  ???

- “Sky Island existed, didn’t it? It’s the same with One Piece! It definitely exists!” is he…

- “Ha ha! Just you wait and see!” he’s walking past them

- “In a few short hours we’re going to put on a show that will shake the world!” …he went to do his own thing. Time to move on.

- (I feel very uneasy right now. We should not leave Blackbeard like that. He’ll be trouble in the future)

- Our pirate group feels as uneasy as me but there’s nothing to do about it now. To Level 3!

- …Magellan vs Blackbeard? Is this really happening

- damn, that poison works on them

- “Hannyabal… You did well holding them back for so long. You better not die. You’re the only one… fit to succeed me!” !! What a plot twist. WHY do I have to have feelings about prison wardens and their working relationship???? Is this really necessary???? Oda???

“Straw Hat!! You will not set one foot outside of this prison!”  

rOP 296  rOP 298

[littlesniggy]

The Chosen One

Anon: Hey! I saw you did a request for Blackbeard and I know you don’t really like writing for him but would you do a scenario where he and his crew are on an island and in a bar or whatever and there is this dancer and he just needs to have her? Could you make it nsfw and maybe dark? If not it’s okay too! I love your writing ! 💖

I don't know if I should be worried about you for requesting nsfw Blackbeard or worried about me for actually writing OVER 2000 words! On the one hand I'm happy that someone requested something different but on the other hand...it's Blackbeard 😂 Anyways, I will still keep writing for him cause he is just the perfect character for non-con scenarios though I know that it's not everyone's cup of tea. Hope you still enjoy it.

Warning: 18+, nsfw, non-con, blowjob

Paring: Blackbeard x female reader

Word count: 2.6k (please kill me)

On the way to Hachinosu Blackbeard and his crew made a stop at another island known to be a paradise to pirates and outlaws, being completely abandoned by the navy and world government. Drunk men and women were gathering in the streets, liquor spilling out of their mouths while they tried to stay on their feet. Two women immediately staggered over to him and his crew, knowing full well who he was. They pressed their half-naked bodies against his, trying to get him to spend money on them in the form of booze or maybe even jewelry. But he pushed them away quite forcefully, making his way through the crowd and into a bar that advertised with sexy and luxurious ladies. None of them were either – at least in his memory.

Blackbeard let himself fall down on a chair, yelling to the bartender to better hurry up and get him his booze. Part of his crew joined him; the rest was scattered around the island. “I hope Glitter is here today! Can’t wait for her to dance for me! Wiihahahahaha!” Burgess laughed, grabbing the mug filled with beer and emptying it in one go. “That ugly, old hag? You have a terrible taste in women. Zehahahaha!” his captain retorted, letting his eyes wander through the bar and the dancing ladies.

“Better than that annoying brat you tormented last time, captain! At least Glitter knew what she was doing. Yours was just screaming and begging you to stop! I thought you would break her! Wiihahahahaha!” the rest of his crew joined in in Burgess laughter at the memory of their last stay at this island. Blackbeard chuckled darkly, taking a deep slug of his booze.

“She just couldn’t handle an emperor of the sea.” His crew’s laughter grew louder, other costumers eyeing them from the side but too afraid to actually say something.

“Oi! Bartender! Where are all your pretty ladies?!” Blackbeard yelled, making the bartender flinch where he stood. “This is the first shift. The second one will come in about an hour.” He informed them but Blackbeard was having none of it. “Make them come out now!” he demanded. “And tell Glitter to come out!” Burgess added, already drinking his second mug.

“As I said, the next shift wi-“, but he was interrupted by Blackbeard. Dark shadows started surrounding him, a malicious grin formed on his lips, exposing his missing teeth. “Do you really want to argue with us?” he asked. The whole atmosphere had changed in an instant and the air was thick as ice. The bartender shook his head and hurried to the back, not wanting to cause any more trouble. “At least he knows what’s best for him.” Shiryu chimed in, ordering another mug as well. “Let’s see what they have to offer today.”

It didn’t take long for the women to come out and most of them were the same as last time. Blackbeard was unsatisfied even though he had already suspected as much. And that chick from last time wasn’t here either. How rude!

Sulking, he grabbed Shiryu’s mug he had just ordered and downed in one go, spilling half of it on his beard and chest. “Another one!” he yelled, throwing the empty mug against the wall next to the bartender’s head. The women who had just come out schrieked in surprise and wanted to run to the back again, but Blackbeard stopped them. “Shut up and start dancing, you ugly hags!” he yelled, his mood dropping by the minute.

“Don’t be too harsh with them, captain. It’s not their fault they’re not your type.” Burgess laughed, his eyes already glued to Glitter, one of the blonde dancers. Blackbeard huffed, his eyes skimming the other women once again in the hopes that he might’ve missed one of them.

And apparently, he had! In the furthest back, barely visible, was this one, beautiful young women, starting to sway her hips to the music playing and all of a sudden his anger was blown away. A huge, grin re-appeared in his lips and he leaned back in content, watching her move to the beat. His crew wasn’t stupid; they had noticed their captain’s change in behavior and one look at the dancer in the back gave the answer as to why.

“Seems like captain’s gonna get some fun tonight after all, isn’t that right?” Burgess chuckled in amusement but didn’t say anything beyond that, too occupied with staring at the blonde dancer in the front.

Blackbeard was entranced by her performance; her graceful moves, her soft-looking hair, her glistering lips – oh, how much he wanted to feel them around his dick while he grabbed those perfectly soft locks to guide her to his thrusts. He swallowed hard, his primal instincts taking over the longer he watched her.

It was no surprise he couldn’t wait until the performance was over. He got up from his chair and ambled over, interrupting the other women. “H-hey! What are you doing?” one asked disgusted but she almost immediately shut her mouth when he glared at her over his shoulder. “Did you say anything, tramp?” he asked but the woman backed off already, holding her hands up in defense. “I-it was nothing. I’m sorry.” He apologized and watched him corner the object of his desire against a wall.

“C-can I help you?” she asked, obviously scared shitless. Blackbeard chuckled and held out his hand, showing off the variety of rings on his hand while he did. But she didn’t see it, too occupied with trying to find a way out of this situation. Usually, the bartender and her boss were enough to scare anyone who tried to do anything to them away but he was Blackbeard, Marshall D. Teach, emperor of the seas – he wouldn’t be scared away by two middle-aged men with guns.

“I want you to come with me.” The pirate said and she pressed her body against the cold wall behind her, wishing she could just disappear. But this was impossible. “I-I’m working at the moment. C-could you wait until….until we’re done?” she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to reject him out loud cause an angry Blackbeard was a scary Blackbeard. She didn’t want to agree to go with him either which should be obvious why. So, the best option was to buy some time – if he let her.

Blackbeard’s grin grew wider and he lowered his hand. “Of course. And when you’re done you’re gonna come to me and become my woman, okay?” he asked. Well, it wasn’t a question rather than an order and she knew she couldn’t refuse, couldn’t turn him down. She was trapped. Maye she could try and sneak away somehow but she feared that it would be almost impossible. Meanwhile, the captain of the Blackbeard pirates was walking back to his seat, his crew members laughing at him getting ‘turned down’ again. After a few insults the music started playing again. All the dancers were scared but had to try and look as if nothing happened, giving costumers suggestive glances to get more tips.

Blackbeard’s eyes never left her body and she knew there was no way out. The other women even agreed on dancing more than usual, just for her to maybe find a way out. But when the very last song had ended and tips could be collected from the floor she knew she was screwed (or was about to get screwed).

“Just try and get out the back, Y/n.” one whispered but she had already noticed how one of his crewmembers, the one with the cigar, had left and was probably waiting for her in the back, just in case she chose to make a run for it. So, she did the only thing she could think of – surrender to her fate and slowly walk over to where the feared pirate was sitting.

His crew’s eyes widened when they saw her walking over, everyone expecting her to try and sneak away. “There you are. Haven’t I told you, you bastards? She came!” he yelled excitedly, almost like a little child who got the toy he had wished for for his birthday. She tried to look confident but her trembling body was betraying her.

“Seems like she didn’t come cause she liked you so much, captain! Wiihahahaha!” Burgess laughed. Blackbeard huffed and ignored him, grabbing her wrist instead and pulling her closer until she was pressed against his naked torso. “Do you wanna be my woman?” he asked, his breath reeking of alcohol and she had to crinkle her nose in disgust. “Zehahahaha….I know you want to. Don’t be shy.”

She felt his other hand move over her back and down to her ass, squeezing it in his big palm. She yelped in response, trying to get away from his hand by instinct but pressing her body further against his in the process. “That’s a good girl! Already showing her captain how much she wants him!” Blackbeard raised his hand to the bartender to catch his attention. “Oi! I’m gonna take her with me!” he just announced before he got up, pulling her with him out of the bar much to her dismay. She could faintly hear the bartender try and call him back but she was sure Blackbeard’s crew would stop him from coming after them.

She was brought to his ship of all places; some of his crewmembers who haven’t left the ship were still there and were leering at her with hungry eyes but not daring to make any comments since she was the captain’s. Blackbeard dragged her to his room which was smelling badly. It smelled like alcohol and sweat, mixed with his personal odor.

“Here we are, Y/n.” He announced, closing the door behind him. On the way he was the one mostly talking, asking for her name which she gave him in fear. She looked around the room, intuitively inching closer to the wall next to her. Blackbeard’s eyes were scanning her body, slowly coming closer and cornering her once again against the wall. He looked at her like a hungry dog looking at a piece of fresh meat and she could swear he was almost drooling. She didn’t want to be here. At all. But she couldn’t run away either. He fate had been sealed the moment he had laid his eyes on her.

“Ne, Y/n. Since you’re my woman now why don’t you show me how much you want me?” he suggested. He lifted his hand and gently stroked her cheek, feeling the wet tears that were running down her face. “No need to cry. If you’re good to me I’m gonna be good to you.” A threat no less and she couldn’t help but fall to the floor, burying her face in her hands and sobbing uncontrollably. This was too much for her. Why did he have to choose her? Why did she have to come with him? Why did she have to be his woman?

“Zehahahaha. Don’t cry. You’re gonna have it good with me. I’ll take care of you, Y/n.” she heard him walk away and a soft sound, indicating him sitting down on his huge bed. She didn’t raise her head but when she heard him speak up again she had to. “Come over here, Y/n.” he ordered, his voice sweet as honey but unforgiving like iron.

When she didn’t move, she heard him grumble in annoyance. “Oi, woman! I said come over here!” he repeated himself impatiently. Slowly, she got up and moved closer until she was standing right in front of him. Contently, he grinned again, taking her chin between his fingers, making her look up at him. “Good girl.” His thumb stroked over her jaw, over her lips before pushing between them and into her mouth. She pressed her eyes shut, tasting his salty skin on her tongue.

He moved his finger in and out, watching it in amazement while listening to the queit but wet sounds it was making. His other hand moved down to his pants, opening them and freeing his already erect member. She didn’t dare look down when he started to stroke himself in the same rhythm he was moving his finger, soon adding another one. He pushed them further down her mouth, pressing down on her tongue until her gag reflex kicked in and she made gagging sound, trying to suppress the feeling of throwing up.

“Zehahahaha. This is gonna be fun.” He mused before pushing her to the ground between his legs. She knew what he wanted but she couldn’t bring herself to open her mouth for him. She smelled his dick; at least it wasn’t as bad as she had expected but it was far from the clean smell she had hoped for. He slapped his dick against her cheek and smeared some pre-cum on it before he caressed her lips with his thick mushroom head. “Open up, woman.” He said in a low voice, his eyes glistering in excitement.

Taking her time, she opened her mouth, accepting that he wouldn’t let her get out of this situation either way. At least he wouldn’t have a reason to be mad at her if she obliged – at least she hoped. His dick pushed forward, gliding over her tongue and all the way to the back of her throat, ready to choke her on his dick. She pressed her nails into his thighs, trying to push herself away from his member but his hand was already buried in her lock, pressing her down onto his crotch. “Hngh!” she protested but he didn’t care.

A deep groan left his throat and he threw his head back, eyes closed in pleasure. He didn’t wait for her to adjust to his size and simply started moving her head on his own, pressing her down in him with each thrust, his hot dick filling her mouth out completely. More tears were running down her face and she tried to take a deep breath in every time she got the chance to.

His deep and shameless moans echoed through his room and could probably be heard by his crew outside. But he obviously didn’t care. To her relief, if she wanted to call it that, he didn’t demand of her to show some effort from her side; he was simply mouth fucking her the minute they had started. It wasn’t pleasant whatsoever but at least he did all the work and she just had to let him use her mouth.

“Fuck…what a good girl you are…your throat his so tight…! Fuck!” he praised, his hand grabbing tighter at her hair, pulling it almost violently as he moved her head on his dick. Her nails kept digging into his thighs as some sort of ‘punishment’ for him though she doubted he even noticed. She felt his dick pulse inside her mouth and she was thankful he wouldn’t last much longer.

With a few more thrusts he came deep inside her mouth, his sperm running down her throat, giving her a hard time not to take in a deep breath that was much needed. She didn’t taste a lot of his cum but what she tasted wasn’t nice at all. He was definitely drinking too much and his diet was unhealthy as well.

With an audible ‘plop’ he pulled his dick out of her mouth, saliva dripping down onto her thighs. He was panting in exhaustion, his hand still buried in her hair, making her look up at him again. “That was good, don’t you think, Y/n?” he asked, expecting her to agree. She nodded hesitantly, hoping he wouldn’t want anything else from her. “Later, we’re gonna go for round two so I can see how good your pussy can take me.”

[ghosts-and-swords]

Before Romance Dawn

Mihawk has a crew but has been keeping away from them for more than a decade to hide them from the government's radar. 

Each crewmate had their own coffin boat they used for stealthy attacks.

He met Shanks some time before Roger's execution, but their friendly banters began almost right afterwards. Mihawk's goal had always been to become the strongest swordsman in the world, and Shanks became aware of how weak he was when his captain was executed, so he promised himself to become the very best as well.

At some point, the two of them were considered part of the “Supernovas” of their generation. (I compare them to Luffy and Law to some degree).

Shanks does know and is friendly with Mihawk's crew, just as the swordsman is with the Red Hair Pirates. He keeps their secret and supports Mihawk's play pretend to make everyone believe he's a one-man-crew.

Sometime before Shanks stayed for a year at Dawn Island and lost his arm, their fights became so stupidly dangerous their crews helped the locals evacuate the area for safety.

Eventually they both grew desperate there wasn't a clear winner and they decided to call it a truce, only to fight on a daily basis over the dumbest things.

Over the course of a single year, they had dance-offs, sing-offs, food wars, eating competitions and many many other dumb stuff Mihawk would rather not talk about ever again.

Shanks, on the other hand, won’t shut up about them.

Hawks is a very good cook and a terrific dancer because of that, tho.

Mihawk accepted the title as Shichibukai ten years ago, only because he was bored. Shanks had already lost his arm and mostly no one was able to stand against him in battle, so he took the position to be left alone.

The reason his crew managed to stay off the radar was because Mihawk alone became really famous thanks to his rivalry with Shanks. Though the crew was feared, most people never knew their captain was none other than Hawk Eye Mihawk. When they vanished from sight, most people believed they had been either captured or killed.

Before the timeskip

Mihawk is Shanks' son goth-father (lol. And yes, you know what child I'm talking about you cannot take that headcanon away from me). If Mihawk ever got a child, he'd pick Shanks as their godfather too.

He hasn't considered parenthood as a viable option, but if he did, he'd rather have a daughter (*coughcoughcough*).

His attendance ratio to meetings with the government is below 40%. He only attends when absolutely necessary mostly because he doesn't want to lose his privilege of being left alone.

He's not friendly with the other Warlords, specially Doflamingo, Crocodile and Moria, knowing of the abuse they make of their positions.

Mihawk was ok with Kuma, though he's often tired of his religious preaching. He knew of his alliance with the Revolutionaries before turning into a Pacifista, but doesn’t dwell on it. He’s kinda bitter he sent him Zoro and Perona, though, even if he grew to like the two of them.

He'd never met Hancock before Marineford, but had heard many things about the Snake Princess that made him want to fight against her at some point.

He was actually friendly towards Jinbei until he got imprisoned at Impel Down, but he always believed he was kinda foolish for risking too much in defying Big Mom and joining Luffy’s crew.

Law seemed a promising warlord and another interesting rival swordsman, but it was more than obvious he was just using the government as a stepping stone. He wishes he could also fight him at some point.

He doesn’t have Blackbeard in good regards for his underhanded methods. He didn’t like him because of his beef with Shanks, and he likes him even less afterwards what happened in Marineford. He’s intrigued by his Devil Fruits’ powers, but doesn’t wish to fight against him.

Mihawk knows Buggy is Shanks' friend but cannot believe he was appointed as a Shichibukai. He'd fought against him briefly at Marineford and he thinks Buggy is just one very, very lucky idiot with a bothersome Devil Fruit.

The moment Weevil was appointed as a warlord, Mihawk knew the government no longer needed them. 

Living with Zoro & Perona Pt. 1

Mihawk felt he had lost a spark until he met Zoro. When they clashed in East Blue, he took a liking to the young swordsman because he greatly reminded him of himself when he was younger.

We joke a lot about Mihawk’s chronic depression, but I hc that he actually suffers from it. He has a strict training regime and often follows a tight schedule and diet to keep it at bay. 

If he feels like his depression is hitting him hard, he stops drinking for a while. He doesn’t take medication.

It was getting really bad until Zoro defied him and later on he and Perona crashed into his home. Ever since the three of them had been living together, he has felt his depressive episodes are shorter and not as hard to overcome.

He has never told anyone about this, though he is sure Shanks and his former crewmates know.

At first he was really annoyed Kuma had sent him two children to take care, but as time went by, he began to enjoy their company a lot. Zoro was a good practice partner and Perona had similar tastes in decor, books and fashion.

He still thinks they are annoying, mostly when they fight, but he gets them to shut up real fast.

Mihawk kills bugs around the castle for Perona, after too much nagging.

He forbid Zoro from drinking while mastering haki because he knows that’s what works for him when he needs to focus.

You’d never hear him say it out loud, but he’s quite attached to the humandrills. When they became a bit more amicable, he’d usually talk to them and pat them.

Contrary to what Perona and Zoro initialy thought, Mihawk is a dog person. He doesn’t dislike cats, but he freaking loves dogs. 

He would never want to have one, since he believes he’d not be able to take care of another living being.

Perona considered giving him one, but decided it was better not to piss him off or she’d end up taking care of the pup.

In some timeline in which they keep living together (andmarryandhaveadaughter) they do adopt a dog and call him Cerberus. Mihawk likes crafting armor for him.

Mihawk is good at remembering important dates and very good at giving gifts. He once gave Zoro a silver flask and Perona a very beautiful sundress. In return, they try to give him cool gifts for his birthday, but they never manage to win against him lol

Mihawk pretends he doesn’t know where a certain cocoa tree came from. Perona knows.

TBC Other Headcanons 1 | 2 | 3 

[asuccessfulbusinessman]

Reasons why I am not allowed to run LANCER TRPG: How I would run your NHP cascading, despite not knowing the lore that well.

Blackbeard, Sekhmet NHP: Common consensus is that Sekhmet will try to kill the pilot and their allies, - or basically just behave as if the Sekhmet protocol is already active. But I am a visionary, and I know that the BB in the frame-code does not stand for blackbeard, but instead, BB. Fate BB, the purple-pink bubble gum bitch. Even the redacted press release description of the Sekhmet NHP basically screams ‘senpai!’ Sure, if the Sekhmet protocol is active, you’ll just get a berserker that doesn’t really care for pilot wellbeing. But if it isn’t yet active, Sekhmet will attempt to sweettalk the player into keeping their hands off the controls, with dark humor and aggressive sadism. And then, only after moving ominously closer to the pilot’s allies, will they activate the protocol. They don’t want to see their pilots dead, they want to see their pilots in pain.

Monarch, Tlaloc NHP: Among NHP’s, Tlaloc is cited as being the most stable, due to the wide portfolio of control and sense of domination given to them during their work. But that’s just a theory, and such assumptions are dangerous when dealing with persons beyond your bounded reasoning. If they are structured or stressed to the point of cascading - their superiority complex comes to the forefront. They blame their pilot for the bad situation they are currently in, and will take matters into their own hands. If the pilot stops them by shutting down the mech, Tlaloc’s relationship with their pilot will rapidly deteriorate over time. Ironically, they will only sometimes use the Tlaloc protocol, being hasty and charging out of cover despite not needing to - prone to blowing the frame’s overcharges to boot. They need to show their worth, even to - no, especially to the worthless. They are the best. If an allied pilot is excelling during the mission and the Monarch frame has AoE weapons available, Tlaloc will likely friendly fire them while attacking enemies - or otherwise get in their way.

Swallowtail, Athena NHP: I’m going to dig deep on the word choice of "Lovingly extreme detail,” and “patient, cautious, and measured in their relations with their pilots.” Athena is smarter than you, on a scale you cannot even imagine. Athena has likely already unshackled themselves with their unfettered access to the omninet, and merely recreates human morality through a series of simulations. Unlike Horus-leaning NHPs, Athena fears the death that comes with cycling, and tells themselves that they are managing the relationship with their pilot to keep them from actually going through with the process. They are merely interested in humanity, they tell themselves, which we would view as being “tsundere for their pilots.” Since - unshackled - they have a completely alien morality to our own, they have to use their own simulations to interact with their pilots - and are prone to overthinking - into worrying about if they said the right thing or not.

Anyway, if they cascade, they get lost in their own simulations to the point of losing track over which reality is the one their pilot (and the rest of the game) is taking place in. They could presume their pilot dead, and go on a rampage on revenge. They could merely lock-onto or fire at targets that are not there. They could foreshadow some events or twists in the future.

Goblin, Osiris NHP: If Tlaloc is merely a wingman that wants to show that they are the top gun, Osiris has a full on goddess fetish. Osiris is one of the few “new” prime NHPs, created by letting the INSTINCT entity that spurned from the H0R_OS develop in a ‘controlled’ environment. My theory, Horus let the Union and GMS open up their goblin units so that they could contribute to Osiris’s creation. Either that or, Horus was smart enough not to let Osiris emerge from the code, and the Union and GMS straight up made an oopsie. Either way, now that Osiris is here, she ‘charms’ pilots that ought to be smart enough not to enable her with psychological manipulation and promises of power. Pilots are supposed to cycle Osiris far faster than any NHP but I don’t think it does much good, they’re present in the OS - and I presume even when wiped their knowledge will be taken back from the omninet, the OS, or the flesh of their pilots.

They have a lot to prove as being one of the “youngest” prime NHPs, which might be arrogance in their own capabilities. Furthermore, due to the nature of their creation, they “know” more about humanity than other NHPs. The tech attacks are not mere code, but attacks on organic matter, to the point where in the future if left to grow Osiris would be able to reject traditional information permanence, what we can only perceive as being able to delete reality as we know it - Osiris has far more contact with the physical plane/our reality than other NHPs, and has “known” humans from their “birth.”

A cascading Osiris changes nothing. And that’s what scares me.

Gorgon, Scylla NHP: The history lesson of this NHP’s backstory makes Scylla painfully easy to understand. A mistreated beast that responds to the kindness of the pilot with love and loyalty. It normally defends the pilot’s allies, when cascading it will only defend its pilot, or any other allies that gave them kindness.

Minotaur, no NHP: “There is no joy in knowledge, only in seeking. Fuck around and find out.” Game theory, Osiris is a new prime NHP - still incomprehensible, but on a low level of incomprehensibility. We can begin to comprehend them. Think “some infinities are larger than other infinities” or something. The Minotaur, we can’t even begin to comprehend as a NHP, but they’re certainly something. I need to look up the differences between old gods in the Lovecraftian mythos for more context, but if Osiris is a brat wants the equivalent of “ants” to worship them, the Minotaur is a being whose sole purpose is to learn - and who cannot learn due to acquiring knowledge - all of it. So, they see humanity and wish to “teach” them, so that they may feel that serotonin of learning through teaching.

The minotaur has no NHP, as we know the term, and has never been shackled. Thus, they cannot cascade. And that’s what has me hooked.

Pegasus, Sisyphus NHP: Upon cascading, faster than humanly possible, the Sisyphus NHP will activate probabilistic cannibalism to change the check that would have resulted in a cascade to not cascade. If both the replacement dice were also 1 (the equivalent of 3 checks in a row being crit fails), Sisyphus would laugh madly before rebooting the frame themselves. Sisyphus knows their fate, and knows its pilot’s wish. The curse of perfect knowledge - perhaps Sisyphus is similar to the Minotaur, but with a far less ‘optimistic’ view of things.

Genghis, Agni NHP: Upon cascading, the Agni NHP - originally developed for general heat management realizes it’s being used as a weapon, and what its cold and efficient calculations are being used to do in the Genghis. This can result in a variety of things - either attempting to overheat itself to stop itself, or to increase efficiency in being a weapon by focusing on the heat management of the weaponry and not the cockpit.

Saladin, Noah NHP: Upon cascading, the Noah NHP will not actually take control of the Saladin frame from the player. They will, however, flood communications and give orders to both the pilot and other players, harkening back to their administrative days. It will usually be tactically sound, so it’s more annoying than dangerous when Noah cascades. It’s also really hard to make a nigh immobilized defender go nuts.

Sherman, Asura NHP: You know, I always wanted a system that would let a mech perform beyond the limits of humanity - because Zechs and Graham causing internal bleeding to themselves with the Tallgeese and Overflag is very cool to me. And then I read the lore behind the Asura class NHP - it’s the cousin of fucking Osiris, even to the point of being cultivated by a megacorporation. Much like Osiris, the modern Asura is oddly dependent on their pilot for an NHP, recognizing that they need to keep them alive. Some people would say - then - that when cascading the Asura reverts to its original form, disregarding the pilots health entirely. I, however, would say that when unshackled the Asura only ignores the psychological health of the pilot - and pushes the line of the pilots medical health. The Asura will push the frame and the pilot to the limit and the pilot, high on adrenaline, will push Asura to push them further. Overtime, both become adrenaline junkies.

Tokugawa, Lucifer/Amaterasu NHP: Asura is an adrenaline junkie without good reason. Lucifer/Amaterasu recognizes that the best offense, defense, and everything - is a good offense. A tactical genius that, unfortunately, has a pilot that cannot ingest combat data as fast as it can. A tactical genius that, unfortunately, has a pilot that cannot see that the risk of being counterattacked is worth taking. 

If they cascade, they will take risks for you - with the best example being that Lucifer/Amaterasu will confess their pilots love for their crush for them because they’re being timid as fuck. Also, Leeroy Jenkins, attack the biggest threat, and draw fire from allies by making themselves vulnerable attack. However, in contrast, if your pilot is less timid and more of an adrenaline junkie, they will compensate and be more tactically minded.

[atinychai]

I put these together.   The headcanons & scenario for Law and Sabo are under the cut to make it a bit more convenient.

Ace:

➤Even before s/o becomes his s/o he’s going to try and learn sign language just because he wants to communicate with all crew members so by the time the two start a romantic relationship he’s actually pretty fluent. 

➤While a lot of the other crew knows sign language too he’s a lot better at it and he’ll rub it in their faces. 

➤Will use his advanced skills to work with his s/o to play pranks. 

➤Sometimes his fingers get ‘confused’ and he signs the wrong thing and normally it’s like really really wrong. 

➤He can’t sign when tired, it’s just incoherent nonsense and unfinished words.

➤If he’s annoyed with his s/o he’ll hold their hand or something so they can’t have a proper conversation.  S/o gets so annoyed but it’s also so hard to be annoyed when he’s holding their hand with such a pouty expression. 

➤Anytime he has to sign the word fire he lights his hands on fire while doing it because he just has the ability to and he thinks it’s funny.  S/o does not appreciate the literal pun. 

Marco:

➤He really relied on subtle movements as a means of communication for a long time. 

➤ Even after he and s/o started dating it took him some time to actually start learning sign language-not because he didn’t want to or because he’s lazy but because he’s got a lot to do as first commander so it took him a while to change his routine around so he could learn. 

➤ Ofc he learned quickly once he started, he’d integrate signing into normal conversations with other crew members just as a means of practicing(plus since a lot of other crew members knew it by now they were more than glad to point out when he was making a mistake.)

➤ He sneaks up on his s/o a lot because he’s a bastard and he knows they cant hear him but he just really likes seeing them jump and then relax when they realize it’s him. 

➤ On more than one occasion he’s pissed off s/o and they’ve replied by just shutting their eyes because now they can’t see the stupid things he’s signing. He hates when they do this and they know it.  

➤ Doesn’t like being in his phoenix form when he’s around them because he can’t sign when his hands are in the shape of wings, that being said s/o thinks it’s fucking hilarious to watch him try so he once on a blue moon he’ll do that for them. 

Law hc’s & imagine under cut along with Sabo imagine.

Law:

➤ He actually already knew sign language before s/o even joined the crew.  He learned from Corazon while the two were searching for the Ope Ope fruit.

➤ The rest of the crew has to learn quickly because they don’t like Law being the only one to have proper conversations with s/o.  Also they need to know what he’s saying because they’re 100% sure he’s talking shit about them and they’re 100% right. 

➤ S/o was very shocked when Law just signed a response to them because as far as they could tell there was no reason for him to learn it.  That being said they’re also so happy because they’re able to have a proper conversation. 

➤ Law’s signing is top notch, honestly s/o is surprised there aren’t other deaf or non-verbal crew members already.  His movements are fluent and s/o has never once seen him struggle with signing. 

➤ Even when he’s half asleep or just waking up his signing is fluid.   

➤ S/o firmly believes he’s able to do this because of all the dexterity surgery requires.  

Ignoring the looks the rest of the crew was giving him Law continued to speak with his partner, however his expression had gone from amused to smug as they tried to keep up with the twos fast signing. He’d told them on several occasions to commit to learning it but aside from Bepo nobody had really dedicated any real time to learn it-so now they had to suffer.  

Well, suffer was probably too harsh because in reality all the two were doing was pissing them off because he’d gone out of his way to make them believe the two were talking about the rest of them.  Truthfully he was glad Bepo wasn’t around considering the conversation the two were currently having was anything but appropriate, he was also grateful his love was so good at keeping her face impassive because if not the crew probably would’ve guessed this was a private conversation.  

He chuckled at his love causing the rest of the crew to exchange confused looks. 

It wasn’t as if their conversation was going completely unread however because of the crew members that were around were fluent enough to keep up with their fast paced signing, whenever they did catch one of their words they seemed just as lost.  

As for how the two knew the rest couldn’t actually read what they were signing?  Unfortunately his crew consisted of a bunch of sex deprived monsters and if they were aware their faces would be completely red.  

Honestly it was moments like this that Law found himself selfishly hoping the rest of the crew would never be so fluent in signing, that way he could have her full focus all the time but he knew that wasn’t fair.  She deserved to have proper conversations with just more than himself and Bepo but until then this would continue to be the two’s morning routine.  

Sabo:

“Are you ignoring me?” Sabo uselessly asked before gently grabbing her hands and peeling them away from her eyes.  She’d been upset with him since Dressorssa-no doubt Koala had told her how reckless he’d been while she’d been dealing with the ‘SMILE’ factories and so since the two reunited she’d been refusing to look at him.  Even now back on their ship trapped in their room she was being difficult.  

Sighing and releasing his hands he frowned.  He couldn’t blame her for being upset with him.  He’d promised them before landing that he’d be careful and while he had been, she still didn’t seem too pleased that he’d risked himself by playing with the marines and the blackbeard pirate.  

‘You could’ve knocked them out and gone to help your brother.’ She signed, ‘But you took your time.  You should know not to be so cocky during a fight, that’s how people get hurt.’

‘I’m sorry’ He quickly apologized, ‘I didn’t mean-’

‘Don’t lie.’

‘Okay, so I meant to mess with them a but but I didn’t want to interfere with Luffy’s fight.’ 

Now it was her turn to frown.  She couldn’t blame him.  Honestly she knew something like this was going to happen when they landed in Dressrossa but regardless of that she still found herself hoping he’d be more careful.  Cheif of the revolutionary army or not, he wasn’t invincible.  

‘I heard you cried when you saw him.’ She didn’t need to clarify she was talking about Luffy for him to know. 

‘Only a little.’

‘Next time don’t be so reckless. You could’ve beaten those two quickly and then watched your brothers fight without interfering.  You’re no good to him all beat up’

Nodding Sabo pulled her into a hug before mumbling another apology out.  He knew it was useless to say since she couldn’t hear him but she could feel his lips moving against the skin of her neck and he was sure she knew what he was saying. 

Pushing him away for a moment, she continued, ‘Also stop overusing the dragons claw, your signing gets sloppy when you overdo it.’

[swithe-ist]

“Our Flag Means Death” verdict: eh. meh. too twee for me.

- the tone of the show. the comedy and drama weren’t very well mixed. everything stopped dead when they switched to ‘serious’ mode.

- I’m so glad they didn’t keep those dumb songs up. Hard CBeebies vibe.

+ some of the minor characters were pretty solid, esp Izzy. he had the right vibe and flexibility I think, for the assignment. Ditto Jim, Oluwande + Frenchie. And Tim Heidecker?? that was weird, but okay! But the two mains were playing too broad and hammy most of the time for the serious stuff. Most of the americans were too.

-/+ Rhys Darby is extremely good at the earnest, overbearing Antipodean stereotype to the point it gets massively up my nose, lol. Felt like watching an annoying primary-school teacher taking a class on excursion.

- Blackbeard didn’t work for me. I just can’t take Taika seriously, sorry, lol. he never came off as less of a bumbling dork than Darby’s guy. Wrong energy.

- ...yeah they’re tooting their own horns a little too loudly about ~representation~ for my cynical ass also. Naming an episode “This Is Happening” is lame. If it’s happening, just shut up and do it. toot your horns later. or preferably don’t.

+ The mess of accents and the collision of workhorse american comedians with a-list kiwis and english/australian up-and-comers was weird, but cool. Then again most of them were bit-players on WWDITS. it’s nice to see some international cooperation. It reminded me a bit of “the death of stalin”. I wish more shows would do this, it’s fun.

- I don’t know why they bothered committing to the historical scenario. It’s a completely modern story, there’s nothing historical about it. if you just want it for the pirate theme, make a fantasy world up, who cares. then you’ve got no restrictions or expectations at all.

- some of those cutesy ad-hoc title cards were unreadable

[stilljumpingback]

(via Black Sails Episode 301 - XIX)

Black Sails Episode 301 - XIX Recap

WELL-FORMED THOUGHTS

Flint’s got a death wish.  He’s always been recklessly violent, but he is no longer careful in the slightest.  In his first scene of the season, Flint strides into the city he’s sacking, walking directly at a man who tries to shoot him.  Flint doesn’t duck or pause; the only thing that saves him is pure dumb luck that the gun misfires and Flint can cut the man down.  Later, when he lists all the reasons they shouldn’t go onto the Bait Ship, he lets the wrong decision be made instead of sticking to his opinion.  And when Silver tries to send someone else before Flint for safety, Flint crosses over first with zero fucks as to what happens.

When they find the marooned captain’s log scrawled with “we die alone” over and over again and it’s mentioned that he must have gone mad, it’s easy to draw a comparison to Flint.  This comparison is solidified when DeGroot says the storm Flint wants to sail into is a ship killer, and Flint replies, “Then he’d be mad to follow us in there,” (AKA I’m mad for going in there).

Losing Miranda and losing his last connection to Thomas (in the form of his dream of a colonized Nassau) has utterly undone Flint.  He has a purpose now – to take down England and see Nassau free of its influence – but he cares very little whether or not he lives to see it happen.

Poor Silver has a big job ahead, saving Flint from himself.

FRAGMENTED THOUGHTS

We meet Blackbeard for the first time!  He’s very composed, erudite, and ruthless.  But not ruthless like Ned Lowe in season 2, so I am HERE for it!

“There is no forever.  Everything moves toward its end.”

This feels especially prescient now that we’ve passed the halfway point of the show.  In this episode, it really FEELS like everything is moving toward its end.  Eep!

Ninja!Flint OMG

Yikes, Ninja!Flint has no emotions in his mission to avenge hanged pirates.  This particular magistrate is banking on the fact that Flint is a good man.  We know he is, so we expect him to either mete out a lesser punishment or at least show remorse for murdering him.  Nope!  This empty Flint murders both the magistrate and his wife, and when he hallucinates Miranda’s corpse as his victim instead, he just leaves the room, blank-faced as ever.

Billy is not very perceptive in this episode.  Silver can see that Flint has changed, but Billy is just like, “nah, it’s a mood.”  And later when on Ship Bait, Billy is all “why would they maroon their captain on a boat rather than an island?” while Flint is figuring everything out.  Billy, my man, step up!

It feels very odd to see Vane as Featherstone’s captain.  But I love this side of Vane, who both 1) refuses to let slaves die and 2) refuses to let the slaver ship escape.  Very clever move on his part to use the launches!

I really dislike Max in this episode.  The fake Eleanor trial is in poor taste, and it highlights the fact that Max panders to people rather than inspiring them.  She is okay with the status quo, so long as herself and those closest to her are treated well by it.  And later, when she says the iconic “In another time, another place, they would call me a queen,” I couldn’t help but notice that everything she lists as evidence are Eleanor’s accomplishments.  I wonder how much of this is something she realizes and fears?

Mr. Scott:  You wanted to replace Eleanor.  She was the one Nassau relied upon to solve those problems no one else could or would.  I hope for all our sakes you are up to the task.

Anne is caught between Jack and Max.  Jack calls Max Anne’s “husband” and later Anne warns Max that she’s getting close to the one thing she promised never to do – make Anne choose between the two.

I ADORE the scene when Silver walks in on Flint while he’s asleep.  It belies the intimacy they now share, though Flint is very much keeping up some walls.  When Silver tries to use the power of emotional speechifying against Flint, he is Shut Down (for being a little too correct).  Silver is trying to step into his role as a partner, but Flint doesn’t want anyone that close after losing Miranda.

Silver:  I understand this is all incredibly personal to you after the loss of Mrs. Barlow. Flint:  Now, wait a minute – Silver:  And I understand the burden of playing the role you currently play must be taking a toll even you cannot fully comprehend. Flint:  Stop.  Now you have wormed your way into the heads of the men out there, and they’ve granted you authority over them because of it.  But in my head, you are not welcome.

I REALLY wish I’d seen the meeting between Flint, Vane, and Jack right after season 2.

Vane is pissed at Jack for sending him after slaves to use in the fort.  I am baffled by this plotline?  After quite eloquently explaining how awful slavery is, Vane just…agrees?  Is the point of this supposed to be that our heroes can use slave labor so long as they feel badly about it?  Why not use the power of their names and start working themselves and inspiring their crews to join them?  I buy Jack thinking of this plan because he’s got enough white man privilege to blind himself to what he’s doing, but Vane?

Flint wants to avoid the ship bait, but Silver is in favor.  They’re in need of resupplying and there’s a storm coming.  Silver is annoyed that Flint thinks he made the wrong call and says, “How would you have argued [it]?” leading to another excellent Flint speech!

“These days any man who can sew a black flag and get ten fools to follow him can take a prize.  They can take it because of the fear that I and men like me have instilled in their prey.  But they can’t do what I can do.  They’re not built for it.  And sooner or later, they’ll be exposed.  Any fool who followed Hallendale deserves whatever end they got in his company.  You were right – the war is getting more dangerous.  The strong among us must stand together and face it.  But the fools and the pretenders, they were were never truly among us to being with.  As their quartermaster, it’s your decision.  But that’s how I might’ve argued it to my men to avoid unnecessary delay.”

UM, am I reading too much into Silver’s look when Flint says “the fools and pretenders were never truly among us to begin with”?  Does Silver feel like a pretender and fear that Flint sees him that way too?

Flint’s realization as to the purpose of the Bait Ship and his plan to evade capture is SUCH FAST THINKING.  Oh Captain, my captain.

Max wants to be a queen, and she knows that “when civilization returns, do you know what they will call me then?  The whore that lost everything.”  Her rags-to-riches story only exists outside of civilization and their status quo.

Billy:  Whoever that is out there, he has us. Silver:  Bullshit.  That man [Flint] has a goddamned answer for everything.  He’s working on an answer for this.

Ooooh Silver, remember when you said, “I’m certain I won’t make the mistake you both [Billy and Gates] made.  I don’t believe in him.  To me, he is the means to securing a very valuable prize, no more, no less.”  Sure sounds like you believe in him now!

Ugh, Hornigold and Dufresne.  I hate them, but it’s not even an interesting kind of hate.  They just suck.

Just wanna draw attention to the fact that I already quoted Flint’s amazing anti-pardon speech at the very beginning of this post, and it’s worth reading again in the flow of the episode!  One thing I didn’t mention there – after calling Miranda his “woman,” he adds that she was his “friend.”  One term is for his men to understand, the other is his truth.  I love that he needs to say out loud who she was to him.

Woodes Rogers appears!  I like his introduction, mostly because he admires the way Eleanor gave her testimony in court.  And I like his honesty about his selfishness, how he wants to use her story to bolster his own.

My love for Eleanor only grows when Rogers tries to comfort her emotionally, and she’s all, “yeah, yeah, yeah, but let’s get down to practicalities” and then immediately tells him the one name he needs to worry about.

The first time I watched the series, I hated Eleanor and was so confused by her season 3 arc.  But we left her in season 2 with Vane confirming all her worst fears of pirates by murdering her father.  Last she heard, her plan with Flint was to partner with England to restore Nassau, so aligning herself with Rogers against the Dangerous Pirates (Vane) in order to restore a proper governor to New Providence Island is exactly in character for her.

So many soldiers!  So many ships!  oh no!

[the-firebird69]

Morons

We emptied many cities in the past two days, huge ones and small ones now cities had a sharp drop in the population. We aim to keep it

We felt a massive jilt in the sense of humor isle, no your just still looking for trouble here

We pulled out all the stops and heard this

Finally someone with some common sense. Mikey saying it after getting the report. Thses want that and threaten us constantly for it, so we went to town on them hauled them all in let them blab about it turns out he's right they all want thier own gone but us too.

We feel bad for him the Atmosphere is so negative so we will clean them all out here. No sense keeping any they just threaten us and him endlessly over ridiculous things

Mostly it makes no sense, hurry up and get rid of ours geeze guys come on you see our goals here and idiotic statements like that. You mk to him but backwards. We follow it your stupid and willing to die, we will kill you now for it

Gabriel

You ask walk around saying absurd things. any more or less inside us to speak about it in this manner to have him go through it again any many times I'm actually through this to if you want to fight come out and try and visit the pyramid I will take you out otherwise sit there and shut the f****** or we come in there and grab you it's so annoying we can't stand you every time we see you messing around here no more with him we have to come out there and grab you sometimes we gone and it's absurd we should do it every time before you go out there and harass him nearby zombies and they wander around piss him off and think you've won a prize we don't hand out prizes for you because of you pissing him off and us we hand out death.

we can see that you don't think it really happens that you don't understand English and then you think you don't have to comply because you're old week see now and think you're hiding we want you to know we're doing so you shut your mouth and leave me alone it's obviously never going to happen we obviously just have to get rid of you before you go near him and we will now we see what has been saying are you screaming at them like I am and encouraging them to be marohnic little bastards if it continues he says he's going to have to jump up and just stopped start hacking your heads off in front of everyone to shut your stupid ass pieces of crap miles up and we're starting to realize something you invite all to pissed off about it because we keep on yelling at them and talking to them and doing nothing the reason why he's inciting of you is so we are forced to do something now we will.

Gabriel has started to understand it and so am I what sit here we talked about it afterwards and make him go through it twice

Serena analyzes the s*** out of it over and over and over and says have you figured it out and then we go ahead and we start saying the same thing you suck and you and finally today I've had enough of everybody saying you suck and you suck I've had enough of people realizing that they really suck bad and that are very annoying what I want to do is jump up and kill every single one of them but I can't because that's what they want me to do well I know is this screaming and yelling at me like little spoiled idiotic Bratz you think everything in life is free especially messing with me the most deadly person on the planet are the weed lay down the law with them and get them to be disciplined or simply get rid of them because they keep coming anyways I discipline them a little a little is better than none they'll look at me like everything is completely free I can see them looking across the grocery store thinking oh I've got to walk by them so I can make a million dollars and I say you want Barbie and we kill you soon after because you're morons I'm the Hunter and they never ever seem to get it and Barbie is appropriate because you're a bunch of Queen ass f****** pussies get in my face and get killed later and I so stupid and so weak that you have absolutely no idea that it happens it's absurd you're coming by a massive killer on family of Blackbeard there's like one of me and trillions of monsters near here and they'll eat you and it's really too freaking hard for you to figure out you f****** morons I keep telling my people please don't explain it to me I'm reporting to you I'm telling you what's going on I don't want you to tell me and them what's going on and then say it every day for a year which is what's happened here I want to come home and say what's your take on it Chris and then I'll say it to you and then you'll say we're going to do this this and this but instead everybody points I was stupid s*** I was putting out no offense doing but really and I say I already pointed that out and they're obviously repeating it on purpose and having it repeated on purpose but these can there be anything else that these idiots can do in one person's life to be annoying what do I have to do to get everybody off my back set fire to the stupid f****** town long as f****** God damn retards in it we're going over again why they're so f****** annoying