Who Would Sit at Your Grave the Longest?
Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader
Summary: Who would ever mourn the life of a trained spy and assassin?
Warnings: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, violence, mention of death, scenes from Marvel movies, multiple time skips
Words: 11,010
Red Room, Unknown — 2002
“If you passed away, who would sit at your grave the longest?”
It was a strange question, posed by one of the girls in the Red Room. The answers from the others are what one would expect – mom, dad, siblings, friends.
People they remembered from their lives before.
People who loved them.
With so many choices, it was difficult for some to decide who would fill that position.
Natasha, however, didn’t need any time to consider her answer.
She raises the gun in her hand and fires multiple shots at the practice target, each one hitting a fatal area. After the last bullet, she removes the empty magazine with practiced ease, reloads the gun, and aims at the target once again.
“Who would sit at her grave the longest?”
Her grip wavers slightly at the thought, but Natasha takes a short, steadying breath before steeling herself.
Consecutive shots ring out in the room, hitting the target with perfect precision and demonstrating why she is one of the most feared assassins in the world.
For Natasha, the answer was clear.
“No one.”
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Abandoned Building, Budapest - 2003
With a tired sigh, Natasha leans her head against the wall of the abandoned building. She lifts her hand from her side, grimacing at the sight of blood covering her palm.
With a slight wince, she presses it against the wound again and glances at the person sitting across from her.
His head hangs limply against his chest, his own hand pressing against a wound on his stomach. If not for his shallow breathing, Natasha would have thought he was already dead.
Taking a deep breath, she nudges him with her boot. “Hey, Barton, you still with me?”
He stirs slightly at her words, becoming more alert, and chuckles softly. “I knew you had a heart, Romanoff.”
Natasha rolls her eyes at his comment, turning her gaze to the distance, searching for any sign of backup from his organization.
Clint Barton had been the first to see something different in her—something better—and had offered her a way out of her previous life.
Now, the one person who might actually care about her existence was dying right in front of her.
A coughing fit seizes Clint at that moment, and a trickle of blood escapes his lips.
“If your people don’t arrive here soon—”
Before she could finish, the sound of an engine fills the air as a quinjet lands nearby, kicking up a whirl of dust.
Spotting the SHIELD logo, Natasha quickly stands, grunting as she pulls Clint up and slings his arm over her shoulder, dragging him toward the plane.
“Over here!” she shouts to the disembarking crew.
The agents at the front eye her warily, cautiously raising their weapons until they recognize Barton and realize his condition. They quickly rushed to help, taking her place and carrying him onto the quinjet.
Natasha shuffles forward slowly, keeping a close eye on them to ensure they’re handling him carefully.
Suddenly, a hand brushes her side, startling her. Instinctively, she grips the wrist and yanks it away, only to find herself locking eyes with you, surprise evident on your face.
Her glare is sharp, a silent warning, but you furrow your brows and pull your hand free, undeterred by her reaction.
“You’re injured too,” you point out, trying to examine the wound on her side.
“I’m fine,” Natasha grits out, swallowing hard against the pain. “You should be taking care of Agent Barton.”
She tries to sidestep you, but her strength falters as the adrenaline starts to fade, and she stumbles. Bracing herself for a hard landing, she’s surprised when a pair of arms catches her before she can fall.
Leaning her head on your shoulder, Natasha takes a deep breath, trying to steady herself and shake off the wave of dizziness.
“He has enough people,” you say firmly, your voice resolute. “I can focus on taking care of you.”
With that, you adjust her gently in your arms and start guiding her toward the quinjet.
“Come on, you’re not dying today.”
You say it with such certainty and determination that Natasha can’t help but believe you.
As you walk, she glances at the side of your face, her curiosity piqued.
“How strange,” Natasha muses to herself, “to have found another person who seems to care about her existence.”
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Stark Mansion, Malibu - 2010
After pretending to be impressed by Stark’s demonstration of the Iron Man armored glove and its repulsor beam, Natasha quietly slips away as Miss Potts confronts him for his reckless behavior.
At the private bar, Natasha prepares more drinks, anticipating Tony’s inevitable request for another round.
“This is quite the birthday party,” a voice comments from behind.
Natasha turns her head to find you leaning casually on the opposite side of the bar countertop, giving her a friendly smile.
Since her initial encounter with you after joining SHIELD, Natasha hasn’t had the opportunity to work with you again, only spotting you in passing until now.
She raises a questioning brow at you, curious about your presence and wondering how she missed you being part of the team for this mission.
“It seems you’ve gained Mr. Stark’s trust pretty well,” you remark, referring to her little performance earlier.
Returning to her task, Natasha responds as she continues to pour the drinks.
“It’s not hard. He’s a textbook narcissist.”
A loud clatter erupts from the other room and interrupts the conversation, prompting both of you to look at the sound in alertness.
Tony picks himself up from where he stumbled into the DJ booth, then throws his arms up in the air with a cheer, eliciting an excited response from the crowd.
Spotting how he leans heavily on the table for support, Natasha shakes her head and continues her observations.
“His condition is worsening, though. He’ll need something to take the edge off soon.”
From the corner of her eyes, Natasha notices your expression become contemplative as you tilt your head and observe her curiously.
“What?” she asks.
“Nothing,” you reply with a small shake of your head. “It’s just nice of you to worry about your new friend.”
Natasha rolls her eyes at that.
Tony Stark is just a potential candidate for the Avenger Initiative that she’s been assigned to assess. From what she’s seen, he cares less about being her friend than she does.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Natasha asserts, turning around with the tray of finished drinks.
You smoothly pluck a glass from the tray before Natasha can stop you and sip it nonchalantly, unbothered by her glare. Still, Natasha can’t help but smirk slightly, amused by your bold action.
Setting the empty glass down, you glance at Tony, who is still playing to the crowd.
“No harm in building genuine friendships,” you comment before nodding at the billionaire.
“Anyway, lucky for him, Fury agrees. He wants to meet with Mr. Stark soon,” you reveal.
Natasha’s brows knit together in confusion.
“Fury sent you just to tell me that?”
You turn your gaze back to her, a small grin tugging at the corner of your lips as you push yourself off the counter.
“Me coming here was more of a personal choice.”
Her eyes narrow in suspicion, still puzzled by your answer.
“Why would you do that?”
With a light chuckle, you meet her gaze, a slight smirk playing on your lips.
“Maybe I just wanted to see the legendary Black Widow in action,” you admit, your tone teasing, before turning to walk away.
For a moment, Natasha is left stunned, her mind racing to make sense of your reasoning. But as you disappear from view, a sudden sensation tightens in her chest. She quickly sets the tray down and moves around the counter, her instincts urging her to follow you.
Just as she takes a step forward, a deafening crash reverberates through the building.
Whirling toward the source of the noise, Natasha’s eyes widen as she spots Tony, now clad in his Iron Man armor, locked in a fierce struggle with one of his other mech suits.
Natasha groans, rolling her eyes as she braces herself to clean up yet another one of Stark’s infamous messes.
She wonders how you could think this man could ever be among those she’d considered a friend.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Stark Tower, New York City - 2012
With the portal closed and the battle over, Natasha and the other newly assembled Avengers gather on the top floor of the Stark Tower to complete the final task of apprehending Loki.
“Alright, get him on his feet,” Tony says, gesturing at the defeated god sprawled on the floor. His Iron Man suit begins to disengage from his body as he walks away.
“Oh, and by the way, feel free to clean up,” he remarks to the others, waving at the destroyed room left in the aftermath of the battle.
Natasha rolls her eyes at his words before focusing on the piece of metal in her hands. She taps Loki’s scepter gently against her palm and asks, “So, who gets the magic wand?”
Standing near the shelves filled with various bottles of alcohol, Clint retrieves two glass cups and answers, “Strike team’s coming to secure it.”
As he finishes speaking, the strike team steps out of the elevator, carrying a large case.
“We can take that,” an agent offers, heading towards her.
“By all means,” Natasha replies, handing it to them and walking toward Clint. Out of the corner of her eyes, she notices one of the agents examining the staff’s point with their hand.
“Careful with that thing,” she warns.
Clint nods in agreement as he hands her a glass, “Unless you want your mind erased, and not the fun way.”
As they both turn around toward the bar, the cups are taken from their hands.
“And I’ll take these,” you declare, placing them on the counter.
“Medical team is also here,” you announce with a smirk, placing your hands on your hips. “Which means the agent with blood dripping from their head should have a seat.”
Natasha and Clint exchange glances to see who you’re referring to.
“Looks like you’re going first,” Clint declares happily, patting Natasha on her shoulder and stepping around you–not before sneakily taking back his cup.
When Natasha doesn’t move, you cross your arms and tilt your head at her with a raised brow.
“Well, are you going to sit, or do I need to wait until you fall on me again?”
Natasha huffs in amusement at the reminder before taking a seat on the barstool, giving you space to come closer.
Stepping forward, you place yourself between her legs and gently brush back her hair as you examine her forehead.
“Doesn’t look like you’ll need stitches, so that’s good,” you comment.
Natasha clicks her tongue in mock disappointment.
“No scar? That’s a shame.”
Your lips twitch upward slightly at her words, and Natasha grins proudly, knowing she almost made you smile.
As you clean her wound, your hands move delicately across her skin, treating her with the utmost care.
Noticing your closeness, Natasha takes a moment to observe you, intrigued at how comfortable you are around her. She was so absorbed in watching you that she almost missed your next words.
“You all make a good team.”
At the mention of the others, Natasha glances over at them across the room, talking and jostling each other in a friendly fashion.
It’s admittedly an odd bunch that Fury managed to assemble: a demi-god, a super soldier, a billionaire tech genius, a scientist with an angry alter ego, and a couple of master assassins.
“Not what I imagined, but surprisingly, it turned out okay,” Natasha admits.
After finishing the bandages, your hand drifts from her hair to gently cup her face, lifting it to meet your eyes.
“You came together, trusted each other, and had each other’s backs—all within just a few days,” you say, your voice steady with conviction. “That’s more than just okay.”
You give her a soft smile, tilting your head lightly.
“It’s actually pretty incredible…and so are you.”
Natasha’s eyes widen at your words, leaving her speechless.
A familiar warmth stirs in her chest, similar to the sensation she felt the last time she met you—a subtle yet undeniable pull towards you.
The intensity of your gaze draws her in, making her feel connected to you in a way she hadn’t anticipated.
Her fingers fidget in her lap as she considers bridging the small gap between you. She raises her hand hesitantly, about to reach out—
“Romanoff!” Tony calls, causing Natasha to withdraw her hand and turn her head, inadvertently making your hand fall from her face, much to her disappointment.
He and the others are gathered by the elevator, looking in her direction. Tony waves his hand in a hurried gesture.
“Hurry it up with the doctor-patient roleplay! The shawarma’s going to get cold.”
Natasha glares at him for the interruption before returning her attention to you.
“Shawarma?” you ask with a questioning tilt of your head.
She shakes her head exasperatedly.
“I don’t know. Tony wants to try it.”
You hum in understanding and take a step back.
“Well, that bandage should be fine for now, but you’ll need a more thorough check-up when you return.”
Natasha leans forward slightly, a small smirk playing on her lips as she teases, “By you?”
You meet her smirk with an amused smile. “We’ll see.”
Accepting that she won’t get a definitive answer, Natasha nods and stands. As she’s about to pass by you, a thought crosses her mind, and she pauses beside you.
“What about you?” she asks.
You look up from where you’re packing your things. “What about me?”
Natasha huffs lightly at your evasiveness, ready to respond, but she hesitates. Her usual confidence falters, and uncertainty flickers in her eyes for a brief moment as they meet yours.
After everything she’s been through, Natasha is still unsure whether she deserves to feel this way about someone—to want to not feel alone.
Noticing her hesitation, your expression softens, and you offer an understanding smile. With a gentle push on her back, you urge her forward.
“Go, you deserve to celebrate this win with your team,” you say, your voice calm and encouraging.
Before Natasha can reply, Tony calls out again.
“The elevator’s going to leave without you, Romanoff,” he warns.
You give her an encouraging nod, and with a light sigh, she makes her way to the elevator, where the others are already waiting inside.
Tony leans casually against the elevator doors, arms crossed and a teasing grin on his face.
Before he can make a comment, Natasha gives him a shove, pushing him inside, and quickly presses the button. As the doors close, she catches one last glimpse of your little wave at her before you disappear from view.
Reflecting on your words, Natasha glances around at the people beside her. Surrounded by her new teammates, she begins to realize that maybe, she’s not so alone anymore, after all.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
National Mall, Washington, D.C. – 2014
Natasha lets go of the back of Steve’s neck, breaking the kiss, and turns around casually on the escalator. With their fake display of affection, Rumlow and the other SHIELD agents do not spare them a glance as they search the mall.
She steps off the escalator smoothly and glances slightly over her shoulder at the super soldier.
“You still uncomfortable?”
Steve clears his throat lightly, trying to regain his composure.
“It’s not exactly the word I would use.”
The two walk calmly until they reach the path leading to the underground parking garage. As they pass through the doors, Natasha notices Steve’s awkward silence and decides to tease him a little.
“Don’t tell me you’re still flustered from that kiss, Rogers?”
Steve sighs at her teasing, “No, I just wasn’t expecting–”
As they round a corner, Natasha and Steve abruptly come to a stop, finding themselves face-to-face with a SHIELD agent.
He eyes them suspiciously, his hand moving toward his walkie-talkie.
Reacting swiftly, Steve tackles him before he can alert the others, and the two engage in a fierce fistfight.
Natasha steps forward to assist, but before she can reach them, someone grabs her from behind and throws her against a concrete column. She groans in surprise as pain radiates from the impact.
Before she can recover, a body pins her against the wall, an arm pressing against her collarbone.
Natasha’s hands instinctively push against the pressure as she focuses on her attacker. Her eyes widen in surprise at who she sees.
“Since when are you a part of the strike team?” she grunts out.
You frown slightly and nod toward Steve.
“Since Captain America took down most of their men, and they had to pull others from different teams,” you explain before giving her a questioning look. “You do know he’s wanted by SHIELD, right?”
“Yes,” Natasha grits out, raising her knee sharply, catching you off guard.
The sudden pain in your side forces you to loosen your grip just enough for her to slip out. With a swift motion, Natasha twists her body, reversing your positions, and slams you against the wall, pinning you there.
“Do you know why SHIELD wants you to hunt him?” Natasha challenges.
Despite being pinned, your expression remains calm as you raise a brow at her.
“What happened to the Black Widow who followed every order—no questions asked?”
Natasha pauses, thinking about the anger and sense of loss she felt after Fury’s sudden death—one of the few who had become an important figure in her life. He was betrayed, and she was determined to find out who was behind it, even if it meant going against orders.
“I’m trying something new,” Natasha answers.
To her surprise, a smile spreads across your face, and you remark proudly, “Good.”
It’s then Natasha notices you aren’t even trying to break free from your pinned position. Your hands hang limply at your sides, offering no resistance.
Slowly, Natasha lowers her arm from your chest and takes a small step back, allowing you to lean against the wall on your own.
You make no move to attack her.
Before Natasha can question your intentions, the walkie-talkie at your side crackles to life with incoming communication.
“Anything in the lower levels?” Rumlow’s voice asks.
Your eyes drift down to the device at the request for an answer. As your hand reaches for the walkie-talkie, Steve, having just dealt with the other agent, rushes toward you.
But Natasha quickly stops him, holding out her to block his path. She watches you calmly as you raise the walkie to your mouth, maintaining eye contact with her the entire time.
“Negative in the parking garage,” you respond.
Rumlow’s frustrated growl sounds through the speaker. “Expand the search area and sweep the floors again.”
“Understood.”
With that, you casually toss the walkie aside and raise your hands in surrender. When Natasha and Steve remain still, you give them a pointed look.
“Shouldn’t the two of you be looking for a way to escape?” you suggest, your tone laced with a hint of urgency.
Understanding your intentions, Steve gives you an appreciative nod and gently touches Natasha’s arm.
“I’ll go find us a ride,” he says.
“Okay,” Natasha replies with a nod, watching as Steve heads off in search of a vehicle.
When she turns back to you, she notices a slight frown on your face as your arms cross over your chest.
“You two seem closer,” you observe.
Natasha chuckles softly, catching the hint of displeasure in your tone.
“Aren’t you the one who told me to make friends?”
You huff in response, giving her a tiny glare before walking past her.
As you examine the unconscious agent on the ground, a thoughtful hum escapes you, clearly contemplating your next move.
Sensing your dilemma, Natasha steps beside you and offers, “You could always come with us.”
You shake your head and turn to her with a slight smirk.
“Three’s a crowd,” you reply before taking a step closer, tilting your head curiously. “Did you really kiss him?”
Realizing you must have overheard her earlier comment, Natasha starts to explain.
“It was just a cover.”
She watches you carefully as you take another step closer, leaving only a small gap between your bodies. Feeling slightly distracted, Natasha swallows lightly and continues, unsure why she feels the need to explain herself further.
“Public displays of affection make people very…”
Natasha’s words trail off as you place your hands on her waist and lean in slightly with a tilt of your head.
“…uncomfortable,” she finishes softly, her eyes falling to your lips, which curve up slightly at her attention.
Her pulse quickens, and for a moment, the world around the two of you fades, leaving only the charged tension in the air between you.
That familiar, tempting feeling stirs within her again.
She lifts her eyes to meet yours, noticing the amusement dancing in your gaze.
“Are you uncomfortable?” you whisper, the words softly caressing her lips.
Natasha finds herself leaning forward as she responds with a breathless sigh, “No.”
Just as the space between you is about to disappear, you abruptly pull back, removing your hands from her hips and stepping away.
“Good to know,” you say with a playful grin. You raise your hand to reveal a tiny taser disk between your fingers. “Do you mind if I borrow this?”
Still stunned by your sudden move, Natasha remains frozen, too shocked to react to the revelation of the item you swiped from her.
You chuckle at her silence, tilting your head playfully.
“Catch me?” you request before activating the device and delivering an electric shock to yourself.
Recovering quickly, Natasha catches you as you slump forward, wrapping her arms around you and gently lowering you to the ground.
With a small huff of disbelief, Natasha cups your unconscious face, caressing your cheek with a fond touch.
You always know how to leave her speechless.
A truck pulls up beside her, and Steve leans out from the driver’s seat. “Ready to go?”
Natasha takes a moment to make sure you’re positioned comfortably before nodding and hopping into the passenger seat.
As they drive toward New Jersey, the silence eventually gives way to their earlier conversation.
“Really? Nobody special, though?” Natasha asks, glancing over at Steve.
Steve sighs, a touch of exasperation in his voice.
“Believe it or not, it’s kind of hard to find someone with shared life experiences,” he replies, then gestures toward her. “And what about you? You keep urging me to go on dates, but it doesn’t seem like you’re taking any steps in your love life either.”
He nudges her arm encouragingly, adding, “That agent earlier seemed interested.”
Natasha smirks at his observation, her gaze drifting to the window as the trees blur past. After a pause, she answers, her voice thoughtful.
“I don’t know. People usually want something real,” she says, her eyes distant, as if she’s seeing something far beyond the road. She turns to Steve with a small, sad smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “Nothing about me is.”
Steve remains silent for a moment, processing her words.
“You know, you’ll never find out if someone can accept you until you let them see the real you,” he says gently, his tone firm yet understanding.
“Yeah…” Natasha whispers, almost to herself.
Her thoughts wander to her secretive past, the parts of herself hidden from the world. If you knew who she really was, would you still trust her? Or would you leave her, like so many others had?
Her entire life, people wanted her to be something for them—a killer, a spy, a tool. Everyone had their own agenda.
She turns back to Steve, a curious glint in her eyes. “Who do you want me to be?”
Steve meets her gaze, sincerity in his expression. “How about a friend?” he suggests, his words simple yet filled with meaning.
Natasha laughs, starting with disbelief but gradually softening into something more genuine.
Shaking her head, she imagines what her past self would think of her now—a person trying to be more open to others.
“Maybe I could manage that,” she decides, her tone lighter than ever before.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Avengers Tower, New York City – 2015
Laughter fills the common room of the Avengers Tower as everyone takes turns trying to lift Thor’s hammer. With one last grunt, Steve lets go and shakes his head in defeat, returning to his seat with a chuckle.
“Alright, be honest, it’s rigged,” Tony remarks to Thor. “The handle is imprinted. The one who is worthy is the one with Thor’s fingerprints, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, that sounds about right,” Clint agrees with a laugh, clinking his bottle with Natasha’s. He sits on the floor, leaning against her seat, and takes another sip.
Natasha chuckles lightly and brings her bottle up for a drink, only to pull it away and see it’s empty. She looks at it in confusion, wondering when she had finished it.
A hand takes the empty bottle from her, and Natasha turns to see you sitting on the arm of her chair, giving her an amused smile.
“You finished it two attempts ago,” you reveal.
“Were you watching me the entire time?” Natasha asks with a playful smirk.
You return her expression with a slight smirk of your own and lean in closer, your hand sliding against the back of her chair.
“Well, it’s hard to pay attention to anyone else when you’re around,” you reply.
Before Natasha can respond, Tony claps his hands together, exclaiming, “Alright, who’s next? Romanoff? Hill?”
Maria shakes her head as she stands and heads to the bar. “I’m going to have to pass.”
Chuckling lightly, you stand also and give Natasha an encouraging touch on her shoulder.
“You have fun. I’m going to get us another round.”
Natasha’s eyes follow you the entire time as you walk away. When she finally turns back around, she notices Steve giving her a pointed look.
“What?” she questions, arching a brow.
“Come on, you and her. It’s obvious there’s something between you two,” Steve insists.
“Don’t bother, Cap. She’s not going to be convinced. I’ve tried,” Clint chimes in, earning a tiny kick from Natasha in reprimand.
“Ow, see what I mean.”
Natasha rolls her eyes and shakes her head.
“We flirt,” she defends with a shrug. “It’s what we’ve always done. Just some innocent fun.”
Tony, overhearing the exchange, joins the conversation with a nod toward something behind her.
“Yeah, well, it’s not looking so innocent over there,” he remarks.
Natasha furrows her brows and turns to look at the bar. Her frown deepens at what she sees.
You and Maria are talking and laughing together, with the latter leaning a bit too close for Natasha’s comfort.
“Hey, take it from someone who knows. You don’t want to wait before it’s too late,” Steve advises.
Natasha considers his words as she watches the two of you, contemplating what she should do.
You and she have grown and maintained this comfortable dynamic for years. Of course, there’s an undeniable attraction, but Natasha isn’t sure if taking things further would be worth the risk of losing what she already has with you.
However, when Maria leans forward to whisper something in your ear, Natasha suddenly finds herself rising from her chair and heading toward the bar.
Just as you duck down to grab something from the bottom shelves, Maria takes the opportunity to slip away, passing by Natasha with a pat on the shoulder and a whispered, “Good luck.”
Frowning in confusion, Natasha glances back to see Maria and Clint exchanging a high-five. Realizing she’s been set up, Natasha turns to retreat to her seat before you notice her.
But it’s too late.
“Oh, hey, I’m almost finished with the drinks,” you call out, straightening with a grin as you spot her.
With her escape route cut off, Natasha decides to sit at the counter, her earlier irritation melting away when she meets your gaze.
“You sure you’re not getting distracted over here?” Natasha teases, her tone playful.
You laugh lightly as you secure the top of the shaker, shaking it with practiced ease, your eyes never leaving hers.
“Only if you’re the distraction,” you tease back.
Natasha relaxes at the warmth of the familiar banter, putting her at ease as she watches you finish preparing the drinks and pour them into two glasses.
You slide one across the counter to her and nod curiously toward the gathered group.
“You didn’t want to try to lift the hammer?” you ask with a curious tilt of your head.
“Oh, no,” Natasha replies, shaking her head slightly as she raises her glass to her lips. “No, that’s not a question that I need answered.”
“Really?” you respond, leaning forward on the counter, bringing yourself closer to her. Your hand inches toward hers, brushing her fingers lightly and letting the touch linger.
With a slight smirk, you raise a brow. “Then what is?”
That familiar feeling stirs in Natasha’s chest again as she holds your gaze—the temptation to close the distance between you two growing stronger.
Recalling Steve’s advice, Natasha swallows nervously and answers in a soft whisper, “Something probably only you can help me with.”
Intrigued, you gesture for her to continue, your attention entirely on her.
“There’s this thing—this feeling,” Natasha begins cautiously. “It appears during certain situations, like a pressure in my chest.”
You furrow your brows in concern. “Does it hurt?”
Natasha chuckles lightly, her gaze dropping to the drink you made for her, swirling it gently. The small ripples are nothing compared to the pounding of her heart at that moment.
“Sometimes,” she admits, her eyes drifting to your hand beside hers. She’s tempted to intertwine them but ultimately decides against it.
“It feels like I’m standing on the edge,” Natasha explains, meeting your eyes again. “I know what’s waiting for me if I turn and walk away, but if I choose to fall…”
She releases a shaky breath.
“…I don’t know what that future looks like, and that terrifies me.”
Your expression softens with understanding. You reach out, this time more deliberately, and your fingers find hers with gentle assurance.
Natasha clears her throat lightly, a playful smile tugging at her lips as she tries to mask the vulnerability of her confession.
“So what should I do?” she asks, her tone teasing, an attempt to deflect the seriousness of the moment.
You chuckle softly, recognizing her attempt to lighten the mood.
“I think—”
The sound of scratching metal against the floor interrupts the conversation as Natasha and everyone in the room turn to look at the dilapidated robot that has just dragged itself in front of them.
The moments after that are chaotic as she and the Avengers have to deal with Ultron’s threat to the world.
New Avengers Facility, Upstate New York
With Ultron defeated and most of the original members either retired or off on their own adventures, Natasha watches bittersweetly as Steve welcomes the new recruits to the Avengers.
Footsteps approach and stop beside her, and Natasha doesn’t need to look to know who it is.
“The new team looks good,” you comment, your eyes scanning the mix of familiar and new faces before glancing at Natasha’s expression.
“Do you miss them?” you ask softly, understanding the emotions behind her eyes.
Natasha sighs, her gaze still fixed on the newcomers.
“Nothing lasts forever,” she replies, a touch of sadness in her voice but not surprised. She’s accustomed to things not staying a part of her life.
You hum thoughtfully, considering her words before declaring with quiet conviction, “Well, you won’t have to worry about that with me.”
Natasha turns to look at you with a curious tilt of her head.
You offer her a small, reassuring smile.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you say, your words laced with promise.
A soft smile spreads across Natasha’s face at your assurance, feeling the familiar warmth blossoming in her chest.
“You never answered my question,” she reminds you, referring to the conversation that was interrupted earlier.
Natasha waits, her nerves on edge as you consider your response. Finally, you meet her gaze with a soft expression, placing a gentle hand on her arm.
“You should do whatever feels right for you,” you say sincerely, giving her arm a comforting squeeze before turning to leave.
Natasha looks down, a slight shake of her head and a light huff of amusement escaping her as she recognizes your deflection.
“But if you want my opinion…” you add, pausing at the doorway, prompting Natasha to look back up at you.
Lingering at the threshold, you offer her a playful smirk. “… I’d say, based on my track record, I’ve caught you when you’ve fallen before.” You shrug lightly. “And it seems like everything has turned out fine since then.”
Your smile widens as you notice Natasha rendered speechless once again before you turn to leave the room.
Recovering quickly, Natasha strides after you with determination. She catches up to you this time, gently taking your hand and turning you around to face her.
Cupping your cheek, she leans in and kisses you, pouring all her emotions into the gesture.
Before she can even worry that she might have made a mistake, you wrap your arms around her, pulling her closer as you deepen the kiss, your lips moving fervently against hers.
The world around Natasha fades away, leaving only the two of you in that moment, and she knows she made the right decision.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Leipzig-Halle Airport, Leipzig – 2016
Natasha looks across the airport at the people she had come to call friends and then back at those standing beside her. As the two sides rush at each other and engage in battle, she can’t help but wonder how it came to this—how they all decided that fighting each other was the only option left.
She’s not even sure if signing the accords was the right choice, but the one thing she does know is that staying together is supposed to be the most important thing.
Just because they’re fighting now doesn’t mean Natasha cares any less about them. The thought lingers as the chaos of battle surrounds her.
Clint flips her to the ground, and she reacts instinctively, bringing up her batons to block his bow from pinning her down. The two lock eyes, a familiar intensity passing between them.
“We’re still friends, right?” Natasha asks, her voice steady despite the conflict around them.
Clint smirks, the kind of smile that reassures her, even in the midst of battle.
“Depends on how hard you hit me.”
Natasha grins back, then uses her legs to flip him off of her. She springs to her feet, ready to deliver a follow-up kick, when a sudden wave of red energy wraps around her leg, freezing her in place.
Startled, she glances to the side, catching only a brief glimpse of Wanda before she’s hurled through the air.
Natasha braces herself for the inevitable impact, but instead of hitting the metal wall of an airport car, she collides with a body in mid-air.
A pair of arms wrap around her, cushioning the fall as they both tumble to the ground. They roll to a stop, with Natasha ending up on top.
Dazed but unharmed, she pushes herself up, her breath coming in short gasps as she looks down to see who caught her.
“Hey,” Natasha greets softly, a small smile forming on her lips as she cups your face with her hands. “What are you doing here?”
You don’t return her smile, instead frowning at her with concern.
“The Avengers are fighting each other, and you didn’t think to call me?”
Natasha’s smile falters, and she shifts her gaze away, her voice soft with guilt.
“I didn’t want you to have to choose a side.”
You release a knowing sigh.
“You mean, you were afraid I wouldn’t agree with your choice,” you correct gently.
Natasha twists her lips at the truth in your words.
Yes, she’s afraid. Her makeshift family is breaking apart before her eyes, and she’s desperate to protect the one other part of her life that matters.
Why wouldn’t she try to shield you from this chaos?
Your hand covers hers, still resting on your cheek, drawing her attention back to you.
“I’ve told you, Nat. Do whatever it is you feel is right for you. I’ll support you no matter what.”
Natasha’s eyes soften, a wave of relief washing over her. She starts to lean in, but you stop her with a gentle press of your finger against her lips.
“However,” you add, your voice firm and disapproving, “not calling me and having me find out from Stark? That’s a different kind of trouble you’re in.”
Natasha chuckles, taking your hand from her face and pressing a gentle kiss against your palm, a hint of playfulness entering her voice.
“Well, you still love me though, right?”
You raise an eyebrow, trying to maintain your stern expression, though it softens slightly.
“I don’t know. Ask me again after this,” you tease back at her.
Before Natasha can respond, Tony’s voice crackles through the comms, interrupting the moment.
“Uh, less flirting, you two. In case you forgot, there are multiple fights happening around you.”
Natasha rolls her eyes, but the smile remains on her face as she helps you up, ready to rejoin the fray.
Leipzig Hospital Balcony
“You let them go, Nat,” Tony accuses, his voice sharp with disbelief.
Natasha doesn’t deny it. In the end, she chose to help Steve and Bucky because it was the right thing to do. If the fighting didn’t stop, it would only cause more pain for everyone involved.
“We played this wrong,” Natasha admits, her voice tinged with regret.
“We?” Tony scoffs, shaking his head in frustration. “You know, it must be hard to shake the whole double agent thing, huh? It sticks in the DNA.”
The words hit her like a punch to the gut. Natasha flinches inwardly, the hurt flickering across her face before she quickly masks it.
His comment cuts deeper than she expected, reminding her of the ghosts of her past, the shadows she’s fought so hard to leave behind after all these years.
But here, at this moment, those shadows seem to close in on her, dark and suffocating, reminding her of the person she used to be.
Her voice hardens, a cold edge creeping into her tone. “Are you incapable of letting go of your ego for one goddamn second?”
Tony’s expression remains stony, but there’s a brief flicker of something in his eyes—regret, maybe, or disappointment. He doesn’t back down, though.
“T’Challa told Ross what you did, so…they’re coming for you.”
Natasha meets his gaze, her eyes steely, refusing to show any sign of fear.
“I’m not the one that needs to watch their back,” she replies before turning to leave.
As she walks away, the weight of the confrontation settles in her chest, heavy and suffocating.
She finds an empty hallway and leans against the wall, pressing her hands to her eyes, trying to push back the frustration and the sting of Tony’s words. Her breath comes in uneven gasps as she struggles to regain her composure.
A gentle hand touches her wrist, a gesture of comfort, but in her raw state, she instinctively swats it away.
When she looks up, your expression is sad as your hands retreat to your sides. You clear your throat awkwardly, searching for the right words.
“I can talk with Ross. Maybe change his mind or something.”
Natasha breaks away from your soft gaze, looking down and biting her lip to stop herself from saying the cutting remark on the tip of her tongue—that it would not make a difference, not with her past.
She’s all too aware of the person she was, and no words could erase that history.
“Everything’s going to be okay,” you try to reassure her.
Despite the same certainty and determination in your tone, Natasha can’t seem to find it in her to believe that to be true this time.
Glancing up, Natasha’s eyes fall on the bruises and scratches on your face, injuries you sustained because of her—because you chose to stand by her side.
The sight only deepens the ache in her chest.
“Don’t,” Natasha mutters, her voice trembling. “Just leave.”
“Nat…” you begin, your voice soft, filled with concern.
But she closes her eyes tightly, shaking her head as if to block out the sound. “I said go! Leave me alone!”
The harshness in her tone is laced with pain, and it cuts through the air like a knife.
For a moment, there’s silence, thick and heavy, before you turn and walk away, leaving Natasha alone with her thoughts.
The hallway echoes with the sound of your retreating footsteps.
Natasha sinks down to the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees, feeling the weight of her actions pressing down on her like never before.
She thought she could finally have a different life, that she could change, but nothing has changed. She still hurts the people around her.
So, Natasha does what she does best. She disappears.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Seventh Circle Prison, Russia – 2016
The whirl of the helicopter blades fills the air as Natasha flies away from the prison, the tension inside the cabin palpable among its three occupants.
“It means so much to me that you girls came back for me,” Alexei begins, his voice tinged with nostalgia.
Natasha, however, isn’t in the mood for such sentimentality. Her voice is sharp as she cuts him off, “No. No, you’re gonna tell us how to get to the Red Room.”
Alexei huffs, slightly taken aback by her tone.
“Whoa, look at you, huh? All business.”
“Trust me, this isn’t pleasure,” Natasha retorts, her eyes narrowing in irritation. She was not prepared to deal with her old family after just losing her new one. But the quicker she destroys the Red Room and saves the remaining Widows, the faster she can leave this part of her past behind.
Behind her, Alexei chuckles, though there’s a trace of bitterness in his laughter.
“Little Natasha, all indoctrinated into the Western agenda.”
Natasha’s gaze hardens as she turns to glare at him.
“I chose to go west to become an Avenger. At least they treated me like family.”
“Really? Family?” Alexei’s tone drips with sarcasm. “Well, where are they now?”
From the corner of her eye, Natasha catches Yelena looking at her. A mix of emotions crosses Yelena’s face—curiosity, concern, and a brief flash of sadness—before she turns away, staring forward.
“Where is that family now?” Alexei repeats, his voice louder, more insistent.
Unable to face the question any longer, Natasha turns away, focusing on the landscape outside instead.
The ache of loss resurfaces within her, a painful reminder of the bonds she once believed were unbreakable, now torn apart so easily.
As the helicopter continues to slice through the air, the silence between them grows heavier, especially after Natasha discovers that Melina is still working for Dreykov, remotely operating somewhere outside of Saint Petersburg.
With Yelena now at the controls of the helicopter, Natasha takes a moment for herself. She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a small flip phone—the only possession she hadn’t discarded when she went on the run.
Opening it, she stares at the screen, at the message she’s been fixated on for weeks.
“I love you”
It was the last thing you sent her after she had disappeared.
Natasha swallows nervously before attempting once more to type a response. Her fingers move over the keys, spelling out the same words that appeared on the screen countless times before.
I’m sorry|
But once again, nothing else follows. Frustration wells up inside her as her fingers hesitate, struggling to find the right words.
Instead of clarity, a heavy weight presses down on her—guilt from your last moment together, regret over her actions, and fear of what the future holds for the two of you.
Before she can dwell on it further, the helicopter suddenly lurches, jostling everyone inside.
“Yelena?!” Natasha calls out, her voice filled with alarm.
The blonde-haired Widow nods calmly, her tone casual despite the situation.
“Uh, yeah, the plane’s going down.” She flips a few switches, nodding in confirmation. “Told you we didn’t have enough fuel to get there.”
Groaning in frustration, Natasha quickly tucks the phone away, securing herself as she declares, “Everyone, brace yourselves.”
After a rough landing and leaving the wrecked helicopter behind, they finally arrive at Melina’s home.
The four of them sit awkwardly around the table, a scene eerily reminiscent of how it was many years ago.
Breaking the silence, Alexei exclaims joyfully, “Family! Back together again!”
Natasha rolls her eyes, dismissing his enthusiasm as she tries to stay focused on the mission.
“So, here’s what’s going to happen—”
“Natasha, don’t slouch,” Melina interrupts, her voice carrying a motherly tone.
Blinking in surprise, Natasha straightens slightly, though she couldn’t help but argue, “I’m not slouching.”
“Yes, yes you are,” Melina insists, her tone firm.
“I don’t slouch,” Natasha retorts, irritation creeping into her voice.
“You’re going to get a back hunch,” Melina continues, unfazed by Natasha’s resistance.
Alexei nods in agreement, tapping her arm. “Listen to your mother.”
“All right, enough! All of you,” Natasha snaps, trying to regain control of the situation and her emotions. Her voice is tinged with disbelief at their sudden concern—as if they hadn’t abandoned her and Yelena to the Red Room once their mission was over.
“I didn’t say anything. That’s not fair,” Yelena quips, her tone laced with dry humor.
Rolling her eyes, Natasha tries again, “Here’s what’s going to happen—”
“I don’t want any food,” Yelena complains as Melina places a spoonful onto her plate.
“Eat a little something, Yelena, for God’s sake,” Melina urges, her voice slipping back into the role of a concerned mother.
The constant interruptions and forced familial interactions finally push Natasha over the edge, and her frustration boils over.
“Enough! Stop, just stop pretending to care. Our family was never real,” Natasha snaps, her voice rising. “Nothing about us is real!”
Yelena’s breath catches in her throat at Natasha’s declaration.
“Don’t say that.” Yelena’s frown deepens as she continues, “Please don’t say that. It was real. It was real to me.”
Natasha falters at Yelena’s response, regret immediately washing over her. She hadn’t meant to hurt her sister, but with everything that’s happened in the past weeks, she could no longer control her anger and frustration.
Swallowing hard, Natasha stays silent, her hands clenching in her lap to keep from reaching out to comfort Yelena.
Yelena shakes her head in disbelief, hastily wiping away a stray tear. “The best part of my life was fake,” she exhales deeply, her voice trembling with emotion, “and none of you told me.”
She turns to Natasha, her voice filled with hurt and heavy with accusation. “And you…you got out. Dreykov made sure no one could escape after that. Aren’t you going to say anything?”
Natasha holds Yelena’s gaze for a long, tense moment, the silence between them charged with unspoken pain. Finally, Natasha flinches away, guilt preventing her from finding the right words.
Melina reaches out, placing a comforting hand on Yelena’s shoulder. But Yelena quickly brushes it off, standing abruptly and turning to leave.
“Yelena…” Natasha calls after her, her voice heavy with regret.
Yelena ignores her, slamming the door behind her as she storms out.
“Uh…I’ll go talk to her,” Alexei offers, standing up to follow.
Natasha’s gaze falls, her eyes glaring at the table as the weight of guilt presses down on her chest, almost suffocating her. She suddenly stands, pushing her chair back with a harsh scrape, and quickly leaves the table, heading for the bathroom.
Once inside, she splashes cold water on her face, hoping to wash away the turmoil churning inside her.
Staring at her reflection in the mirror, frustration is etched into every line of her face.
Why does it seem like the only thing she’s capable of is hurting those around her?
Natasha can’t even remember what made her believe that someone like her could have a different life—that she could change and be more than what she was trained to be.
Sighing deeply, Natasha leaves the bathroom and returns to the table, only to find that Melina has gone as well.
Unsurprised, Natasha finds herself alone once again. She closes her eyes, taking a few deep breaths to steady herself. As she does, she recalls how she used to cope with the pain of loneliness, slowly beginning to rebuild the walls around her heart.
But then, a small commotion outside catches her attention.
Moving cautiously, Natasha heads toward the front of the house to investigate. As she reaches the door, she freezes, hearing a familiar voice that stops her in her tracks.
“I’m not here to cause any trouble. I’m just looking for someone.”
Natasha’s brow furrows in recognition, but she quickly shakes her head, dismissing the thought. It can’t be possible.
“The next town is five miles that way,” Melina’s voice responds, cold and unwelcoming.
Curiosity gets the better of her, and Natasha peeks out the door, stepping outside cautiously. Her eyes widen in surprise when they meet yours.
“Nat…” you say softly, taking a hesitant step closer. But before you can move further, Melina raises the gun in her hand, her eyes filled with a clear warning.
“Wait,” Natasha calls out, rushing forward. She places her hand on Melina’s, gently but firmly lowering the weapon. “She’s not a threat.”
“Well, that’s a little offensive,” you remark with a slight glare, crossing your arms.
Natasha gives you a look, silently conveying that she didn’t mean it that way, then turns back to Melina.
“Could you give us a moment?” Natasha asks.
Melina hesitates briefly, her protective gaze lingering on Natasha, but eventually nods. With a wary glance in your direction, she retreats back into the house.
Once alone, Natasha turns to you, her expression conflicted with a mix of curiosity and concern.
“How did you find me?”
“I got worried after the message you sent me,” you explain, pulling out your phone and showing her the screen.
On it is a jumbled message: “I’m sorrywjhsgf”
Natasha grimaces, realizing her fingers must have accidentally pressed some buttons during the helicopter’s turbulent descent. She mentally kicks herself for the unintended message.
“I didn’t mean to send that.”
At her words, your face falls as understanding dawns on you, the light in your eyes dimming.
“Oh,” you mutter quietly, glancing down as you fidget with your phone before tucking it away. You shuffle in place unsurely before turning away with a shake of your head.
“I should just go,” you say, disappointment clear in your voice.
Realizing the misunderstanding she’s caused, Natasha quickly reaches out, catching your arm and turning you back to face her, her words spilling out in a rush.
“Wait, that’s not what I meant,” Natasha blurts out, her voice urgent as she steps closer. “I wanted to say more than just sorry,” she clarifies, hoping you’ll understand.
You pause, your gaze lingering where her hand rests on your arm. Slowly, you pull away, and her hand drops back to her side.
At your distancing action, Natasha’s heart pounds painfully in her chest as she realizes how much she’s risked by not reaching out sooner and letting her fears and insecurities get in the way of what truly matters.
She braces herself for the inevitable.
But instead of leaving, you surprise her by simply crossing your arms and waiting, a silent gesture that tells her you’re willing to listen.
Natasha exhales, only now realizing she’d been holding her breath. The familiar way you look at her, unchanged from before, causes the walls she’d been building to crumble.
Taking a deep breath, she begins to speak.
“You have every right to be angry with me,” she says, her voice tinged with guilt. Natasha hesitates, searching for the right words to express the turmoil inside her, still struggling to find herself amidst all the chaos.
“There’s so much more I need to say,” she continues, her voice softening, almost pleading. “But the problem is that I haven’t figured it all out yet. What I do know, though—” she pauses, her eyes locking onto yours, searching for any hint of hope, “—is that I don’t want you to leave.”
When she finishes, your expression remains unreadable.
Natasha bites her lip, anxiety twisting in her stomach as she watches you contemplate her words. Being this vulnerable is unfamiliar territory for her, and it terrifies her more than she’s willing to admit.
“Please don’t go,” she whispers, a final, desperate plea, hoping it’s enough to convey the depth of her true feelings.
You look up at the sky, exhaling softly as if weighing your options.
When your gaze finally meets hers again, a small, playful smile tugs at the corners of your lips. You gesture toward the house, the tension easing as a lighter tone returns to your voice.
“New friends?” you ask, the warmth in your tone bringing a small smile to Natasha’s face.
Natasha chuckles lightly, the pressure in her chest easing at your familiar banter.
“More like an old, broken family.”
You hum thoughtfully, your teasing grin softening into a more sympathetic expression.
“So, not much different,” you remark, referencing the fractured state of the Avengers.
Natasha sighs sadly, her smile fading at the reminder of her situation.
“What should I do?” she asks, her voice tinged with the uncertainty she’s been trying so hard to conceal.
It feels as though no matter what she does, nothing ever changes. She pretends to have all the answers, but deep down, she knows the truth is far from that.
“Whatever you feel is right,” you respond without hesitation, your confidence in her unwavering.
Natasha scoffs softly, a flicker of disbelief crossing her features as she hesitates. Her eyes meet yours, searching for reassurance.
“And what makes you so sure I’ll make the right choice?” she asks, her voice revealing the doubt that lingers deep within her.
You take a moment to consider your response before stepping closer, gently cupping her face in your hands.
“Because after everything you’ve been through, you’ve still kept your heart,” you say with quiet conviction, your thumb gently brushing her cheek as you lean your forehead against hers.
“That’s how I know you’ll figure this out, too,” you add, your voice filled with certainty.
Your words settle over Natasha, bringing a sense of calm to her chaotic thoughts. For the first time in a long while, she feels a glimmer of hope—hope that maybe, just maybe, she can find her way through this mess and everything else, too.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Avenger Compound, Upstate New York – 2018
Natasha sits on the edge of the bed in her old room at the Avengers Compound, watching you as you methodically strap on your gear and check your weapons.
The room is dimly lit, shadows playing along the walls, and the tension from the past few hours hangs heavily in the air.
Her leg bounces with nervous energy, worry gnawing at her. She presses her palms together, fidgeting with her fingers, before dropping her gaze to the floor and releasing a soft, scared sigh.
But the fear isn’t for herself.
“You can still go, you know,” Natasha mutters softly, her voice barely breaking the silence.
You hum in acknowledgment, not pausing in your preparation, the sound of buckles and straps filling the room.
“Do you want me to?” you ask over your shoulder, your tone casual, almost too casual for the weight of the question.
Natasha huffs, recognizing your familiar deflection, and shakes her head.
With Bruce’s dire warning about the impending battle with Thanos and his army still echoing in her mind, she can’t help the fear that tightens her chest as she looks at the person who has chosen to stand by her side, time and time again.
“I want you safe,” Natasha admits, her voice trembling with the honesty of her words.
“Good, I feel the same about you,” you reply, turning to face her, your expression softening as you take in the sight of her.
“I’m serious. This isn’t like anything we’ve faced before,” Natasha warns, her eyes pleading with yours to understand.
“Which means you’ll need all the help you can get,” you say, stepping closer until you’re standing right in front of her.
Natasha twists her lips, frustrated by the truth in your words. She looks away, trying to hide the turmoil in her eyes.
But you won’t let her retreat.
You gently catch her chin with your finger, guiding her face back to yours as you lean down to press a soft, lingering kiss against her lips.
Natasha’s eyes flutter shut as she returns the kiss, her hand instinctively finding the back of your neck, pulling you closer as if she can anchor herself in the warmth of your touch.
When you finally pull away, Natasha bites her lip lightly, trying to hold onto the warmth for just a moment longer.
You rest your forehead against hers, and she finally opens her eyes, meeting yours with a rare vulnerability she shows only to you.
“Are you scared?” you ask softly, your voice laced with the same fear gnawing at her.
Natasha’s eyes roam across your face, memorizing every detail as if it might be the last time she sees you.
“Terrified,” she admits, her voice raw with emotion.
“Me too,” you say, a small, reassuring smile tugging at your lips as your thumb gently caresses her cheek.
“Are you going to leave?” you ask, even though Natasha’s sure you already know the answer.
The Avengers are her family. Imperfect and flawed, but they always strive to make the world a safer place—to do what’s right. She would never abandon them when they need her most.
“No,” she responds, her voice filled with determined resolve.
You smile knowingly at her response, your gaze drifting around the room as a look of nostalgia washes over you.
The soft, wistful look in your eyes tells Natasha that you’re recalling the memories of all the times the two of you spent together in this space.
When you meet Natasha’s gaze again, a playful smile tugs at your lips.
“Do you still love me?” you ask teasingly.
Natasha huffs in mock offense, the corner of her lips twitching into a half-smile. You can’t help but chuckle at her reaction, raising a brow in amusement.
“Well?” you whisper, your voice low as you lean in closer, your breath warm against her skin, your hands resting gently on her shoulders.
Instead of answering, Natasha wraps her arms around your waist, pulling you in until you’re straddling her, your knees pressing into the bed on either side of her.
The bed dips slightly under your combined weight, and Natasha holds you close, her hands firm yet gentle on your waist.
“I love you,” Natasha breathes out, her voice barely above a whisper. “And I don’t want to lose you.”
You cup her face in your hands, your eyes filled with love and adoration as you give her a reassuring smile.
“I’m not going anywhere,” you reaffirm, your voice steady and full of the certainty she needs to hear.
You lower yourself onto her, gently guiding her down to lie back against the bed, your lips meeting hers in a tender kiss.
You had said it with such conviction that Natasha can’t help but believe you, just as she always has.
But how could she have known that after this battle, for the first time ever, it wouldn’t be true?
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Vomir – 2023
They say that when someone is about to die, their life flashes before their eyes—a rapid montage of memories, achievements, failures, regrets, and the relationships that mattered most.
For Natasha, the idea of her life flashing before her eyes seems almost laughable. Her early years are a blur of pain, manipulation, and control—years she would rather forget than relive.
The truth is, her real life didn’t begin until much later.
If Natasha had to pinpoint the exact moment, it would be when she found herself face-to-face with the sharp point of an arrow—the moment she met the first person to see something in her worth saving when she had seen nothing in herself.
That was the moment she was given the chance to truly live.
Her mind floods with memories of the life she built after that fateful encounter—a life she had never imagined for herself, filled with friends, laughter, and moments of unexpected warmth.
She remembers the first time she allowed herself to trust again, to let people in despite the walls she had built around her heart.
With all their quirks and flaws, the Avengers became the family she never knew she needed. They challenged her, frustrated her, and made her feel alive in ways she had never thought possible.
But it wasn’t always easy. Natasha recalls the arguments, the disagreements, and the moments when it seemed like they were tearing apart at the seams.
However, no matter how far they drifted, they always found their way back to each other.
She learned to fight for them, to fight for herself, and to fight for something greater than her past.
And then there were those who reached out from her previous life, some seeking assistance, some seeking redemption. Even then, Natasha chose to rebuild those broken bonds of the past.
Yet, among all these memories, one person stands out more than any other.
That person was there at every pivotal moment in her life—whether she was on the verge of giving up or standing tall in the face of adversity. Through the highs and lows, they were her constant, the one who saw her for who she truly was and loved her all the more for it.
In her final moments, Natasha’s mind doesn’t dwell on her victories or her failures.
Instead, she sees your face, the one constant in her life that brought her peace and happiness.
Natasha remembers the way you looked at her, with eyes that held no judgment, only love. She recalls the way your touch calmed her, the way your presence made her feel safe in a world that had always been hostile.
As she falls, Natasha realizes that this connection is what matters most. It’s not the battles or the missions that define her, but the love she found in the most unexpected place.
And as the darkness closes in, the last thing she sees is you, a symbol of everything she has fought for and everything she has come to cherish.
Her final breath is taken not in fear but in peace, knowing that she lived a life worth remembering—a life filled with love, friendship, and purpose.
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
Cemetery, Ohio — 2023
“If you passed away, who would sit at your grave the longest?”
Natasha had asked you that question once.
At the time, you couldn’t come up with a definite answer, so you had turned the question back to her.
You remember the way her lips curved into a small, wistful smile as she considered it, her eyes reflecting a depth of sadness you had only glimpsed before.
“I don’t know,” she had replied, her voice soft but honest, as if she had long accepted that was her inevitable fate.
Natasha could not come up with an answer then, but you did.
“Who would sit at her grave the longest?”
You didn’t need any time to think about the answer. Many people could rightfully fill that role.
To Melina and Alexei, she was their beloved daughter, the one who had been torn from them too soon, only to return with a strength and resolve that made them proud.
To Yelena, she was her cherished sister—a mentor, a protector, the person who had sacrificed so much to ensure Yelena had a chance at a real life, free from the chains of the Red Room.
To the Avengers, she was a valued teammate and friend, the glue that held them together through the darkest times. She was their moral compass, the one who always found a way to do what was right, even when the cost was high.
To the world, she was a hero, a symbol of resilience and redemption. The Black Widow, who had fought for a better future, leaving a legacy that would inspire generations to come.
To you…she was everything.
Your fingers trace the delicate grooves of her engraved name, feeling the weight of every memory, every moment you had shared.
You stood by her side through nearly all of it—the battles, the victories, the losses. You had seen her at her best and at her worst, through moments of triumph and times of doubt.
You loved her fiercely, from strangers to friends to something so much more.
She was the woman who had shown you the strength of vulnerability, the power of redemption, and the courage to love despite the risks.
In the end, you were right about all those who would come to see her, to pay their respects to the woman who had become an important part of their lives.
But they would all eventually leave, returning to their own lives, their own battles. They would remember her, yes, but they would move on.
But not you.
“So, who would sit at Natasha’s grave the longest?”
That answer was clear.
“You would. Now and forever.”
~~~~~~~ ⧗ ~~~~~~~
a/n: this one was really long so if you made it to the end in one go, kudos for you and thank you for taking the time to read it!
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