#But it was definitely better than me trying to write in a bajillion people and get snagged up in the actual day to day running of libraries

[noodyl-blasstal]

Characters Out of Context

➥ Include one character quote — of your choosing ⁠— from each chapter of your WIP (or as many chapters as you'd like).

➥ Give absolutely no context, save for what's between two parts of an interrupted sentence, should that occur. You may mention who said it.

Tagged by @liltaz-asatreat (thank you so much!)

There’s currently 20+ chapters in my big WIP and I’m not going to do that to you all, but here’s 8 lines!

Neverwinter Library

Chapter 1: Customer Service Sucks

Kravitz - “Ma’am, you make a wonderful and eloquent point, these books are incredibly valuable, you’re correct. It would be remiss of me to throw them out instead of gifting them to a bibliophile like yourself!” With a vicious smile, he levitated the stack of withdrawn books onto the desk in front of her.

“Would you like a bag?”

Chapter 4: Taking a Leap

“Don’t make me regret this Agnes” Taako’s hand shook slightly as he reached for the bowl in the fridge, but he knew this was going to be okay. He’d been practising. Lup made the mix with him, he’d checked it, everything was fine. “There’s no need to make a fuss, magic boys deserve treats, and my magic boy only gets the best. No shop bought cookies here” Taako pointedly refused to make eye contact, but did curl his waist very slightly towards Angus’ head before hip checking him out of his way.

Chapter 6: Collision

Edward -  “There’s really no need darling, we’re far too busy to look at your little pictures. Maybe we can cut costs by swapping out the other staff for volunteers? I bet some older people would love a nice relaxing job like that - it must be nice to just read all day!”

Chapter 10: Accidental Encounters

Taako - “Yes, Krav. It’s a date. Now it’s a date with me, my sister, and Barry. Welcome to the Tacco-Bluejeans experience!”

Chapter 14: Kitchen Therapy

Angus - “No Mr Kravitz, Sir. We were near the door. I was just very excited because I saw Uncle Barry and Aunt Lup and my Dad so I walked fast to get a hug and giggled because I was happy. I’m just a little boy, Sir. A little boy who was happy to see his family.” Angus looked up at Kravitz, trying hard to summon a few tears.

“Am… am I in trouble, Sir?” He sniffed loudly.

Chapter 17: Double Entendre

“I think this is the best thing I’ve ever put in my mouth.”

Taako opened his mouth, but Kravitz held up a hand before he could.

“NO! Don’t. I’m at work, Taako.”

Chapter 21: Officially on the Case

Taako - “You’re okay bubbleh, you’re fine.” Taako reached an arm round his shoulders and squeezed him. Then broke the moment.

“But if you ever scare me like that again, you won’t be.” Angus couldn’t help the fear that ran through him, but Taako was already speaking before he could react.

“That sounded awful in my mouth, I was trying to joke. It sounded like him. I’m sorry Angus, forget I said that.” Taako sounded panicked, and Angus just burrowed his way into Taako’s side - worming into his lap for a firm cuddle.

Chapter 23: (TBC)

Taako -  “Bones” Taako sounded exasperated.

“Are you legitimately telling me that you’ve had access to a free lawyer this entire time and have only now thought that maybe it would be helpful to get them involved?”

I think most people have already been tagged, but @faintlyglow @finniestoncrane might not have been yet? (Sorry if I doubled up!)

Anyone else who fancies it then please take part, I always love to see people’s work!

[oftomorrow]

1, 4, 8, 9, 10, 18, 19, 21, 22

questions for the mun ( accepting )

This got extremely long so it's under the cut.

1. What made you decide to roleplay this muse? — I got attached to Clark as a character from watching Lois & Clark and Smallville with my mom as a kid. I'd made a couple half-assed attempts to play L&C based Clark before, but it didn't really stick. On top of that, newer Superman outings just weren't holding my interest. I've always struggled to get into comics, Supergirl was trending in a direction I didn't care for, and Man of Steel was just... terrible. So I basically shrugged and decided newer Superman content wasn't for me, it's not clicking, time to move on.

Then Superman & Lois came out. I originally wasn't going to watch it, thinking it would just be more like Supergirl, but the idea of Clark as a dad was too intriguing to ignore, so I tried it for the first couple episodes. And I was hooked. This show just got it. I loved all of the characters, and Hoechlin just nailed it as Clark. When I ran out of new episodes, I decided to go back to rewatch Smallville and Lois & Clark and the Reeve movies, and at some point in there I decided I wanted to try my hand at writing Clark again. Clearly, this one's stuck a lot longer than my previous attempts.

4. What made you decide on your URL name? — When I tried playing L&C based Clark, my old URLs were clarkiswhoiam, kalelmayarah, and mildmanners. The first two are a bit clunky for my tastes now, and the third has since been taken, so I had to find something else. Superman is sometimes called the Man of Tomorrow, and oftomorrow was open, so I originally slapped it on as a placeholder to set up the blog. I've gotten attached to it now, though. I think it fits Superman's status as a symbol of hope, the man trying to inspire people to be better today than they were yesterday.

8. Text format or nah? What’s your opinion on that? — Nah. I'll do little things here and there, I like using italics and sometimes bold for a bit of emphasis. And I'll switch to small text if my partner is, just for a bit of consistency. Apart from that, I'm not fussed with it. A bit of formatting can look really nice and emphasize certain parts of your writing, but it's really hard to do well. A lot of blogs unfortunately overshoot and just wind up making their replies unnecessarily difficult to parse.

9. Favorite three icons of your muse. — I love all of them because I love his dumb face but I think I have to go with...

10. How do you feel about the interpretation of your character vs the fandom? — The thing about writing such an iconic character that's been portrayed hundreds of different ways in hundreds of different things across 80+ years means that there are naturally a lot of different interpretations. Some people are going to focus on different aspects of the character, and borrow from different sources, and that doesn't necessarily mean they're wrong. They're just different.

Usually I feel very weird about duplicates/variants of my canon characters, but with Clark I honestly find it freeing. There are so many interpretations that I feel much more free to just make this Clark my own. The parts I focus on most (Clark being human first, being a total nerd, the struggle of balancing his identities, heavy focus on family and parenthood, etc.) are the parts that appeal to me. And if they don't appeal to you, that's fine! You can go write with any of the dozen others that speak more to you, and have a good old time. I'll just keep doing my thing here.

That being said, there are definitely some elements of Clark's character that I feel are core to his being and should not be changed. And I really, really do not vibe with DCEU Clark, in the slightest, at all. That version completely misses the mark of what makes Superman... well, Superman. But generally speaking, I embrace there being a bajillion different interpretations of Supes.

18. Your muse's theme song. — I mean... (But I'd actually go with "Dare You To Move").

19. What’s your opinion on blog themes? How do you feel about your own? — I think they're great for making information more accessible, a really great way to show some of your muse's personality/vibes, and a fun outlet for people's design and coding skills. But they should definitely go in that order. A lot of blog themes are so caught up in the aesthetic that they're barely even legible or navigable. And lately I've seen themes (and carrds) that are so obviously just there to look pretty, considering when you open the elaborate pop-ups and pages they've still just got lorem ipsum in there. Why would you get this stunningly beautiful setup to hold your information and then not put your information in it?? I wish people would remember that ultimately, blogs are for reading.

I'm pretty happy with Clark's theme, tbh. It's not my usual style at all, and I usually struggle with light based themes (dark backgrounds cover a multitude of Photoshop sins), but something about Clark's just fell into place. I've been told that it's easy to read and navigate too, so that's good. And I love the little floating Supes. He's so happy. (Full credit to the original who made that manip.)

21. Three big no-nos to do or say to your muse. — Don't threaten his family. That is the number one way to get a very upset Superman who might not entirely hold onto his moral code. (The same applies to threatening his friends, of course, but the reaction isn't quite so visceral.)

Don't trample over innocent lives or livelihoods for your own ambition. Sometimes Superman can't take you down without destroying trashing the trust and public image he's worked so hard to maintain... but Clark Kent and Lois Lane will absolutely come for your entire life.

Don't call him a god or treat him as one. He doesn't want that role. He's just a guy. A very powerful guy, but a guy nonetheless.

22. Three interesting little tidbits or facts of your muse. — Clark's hair is as strong as the rest of him, and very difficult to cut. I haven't given much practical thought to how he gets haircuts or shaves, but I imagine it's a tedious process. (Traditionally, he shaves by firing his heat vision at a mirror, but that doesn't quite translate to live action, especially when his heat vision is actual fire erupting from his face and not the classic pew pew lasers.)

Speaking of, Clark's heat vision is triggered by anger. But Smallville had a much different idea, and made his heat vision triggered by horny thoughts. No, I'm not kidding. They made the same "heat vision instead of boner" joke at least three times across the ten seasons.

Did you know that originally, Superman didn't fly? He was so strong that he could jump super high, and that was how he got around. That's where "leaps tall buildings in a single bound" comes from. The first depiction of him flying was in the Fleischer cartoons from the 40s, as it was a lot easier to animate. And it stuck, presumably because floating freely is a lot cooler than hopping around cities like a kangaroo.

[castielcommunism]

those posts about dean being better as a deuteragonist are so interesting because there's that thing in fiction where the main character is so boring you wish x was the lead instead, like why cant we just have dessert for breakfast feeling, but in this case fulfilled badly in a cursed monkey's paw kinda way. anyways rambling but do you think that it could still work if there writing was better? or is samantha only that fun because carrie's there as a comparison doing main plot things?

Yeah I think “Dean should be a deuteragonist” is sort of a catchall statement for “the writing should be better” with a bunch of nested arguments for what you think “better” actually means. Like in an alternate universe where Sam remained the lead I’m sure you’d get a lot of people saying they wish Dean was the main character instead (alternate universe me might even be saying that!), because the question of who exactly is the main character doesn’t necessarily determine the quality of the show itself. spn is bad for reasons beyond this character imbalance (which I think most people understand when they’re making this argument anyway).

Like PERSONALLY I think the problem with Dean being the protagonist is that all other characters flow from him. What needs to be removed is that, not necessarily Dean being the main character of the show. I consumed spn by binge watching the entire show in the span of a few months, and it felt like an exercise in watching everyone slowly bend to his whim. All external goals are discarded in favour of following Dean. Cas especially suffers from this (“you just gave up your whole army for one guy” well Cas you didn’t need to do that! That’s pretty unreasonable of Dean to ask you to do that!), but Sam also definitely suffers from it in pretty egregious ways. Him wanting to get out of hunting and be independent is always punished, but it’s almost always done through the mechanism of his brother pulling him back in.

And these things aren’t inherently bad, like it’s fine if your protagonist is an obsessive controlling dick to his friends and family, but the show doesn’t seem to be aware that this is what they’re making Dean out to be. And that’s where I want to seriously tone down these traits in Dean’s character, because they’re SO overblown and dramatic and harsh with virtually no resolution or reflection that I cannot take it seriously. Sam and Dean do horrific shit to each other and the show goes damn that shit was crazy. anyway tune in next week where the brothers make up and never discuss this betrayal of trust and autonomy again!

I feel like I need to add a bajillion qualifiers to any post where I say what I just did in the above paragraph, but like canon Dean IS pretty unpleasant pretty frequently. Like I don’t think that’s really debatable. Carver Era and Dabb Era are especially egregious. I think part of the reason people enjoy Kripke Era is because Dean being an asshole was at a reasonable level with much more sympathetic motivations and reasons behind it, and we also got a more balanced perspective from Sam, the guy who has to deal with his brother’s issues while also dealing with his own. They were both abused and neglected as kids and they’re dealing with it in unhealthy ways as young adults and hurting each other in the process, but not to such a degree where it feels like your soul is being ripped out of your body. Like these are two kids on the very cusp of adulthood who are scared and alone and don’t know how to talk about their feelings or work through the trauma they endured, and a lot of the time they’re just trying to get out of bed every day. I feel like the show lost that when they became adults, not because you can’t show adults the same level of sympathy and patience, but because they’re slowly morphing into gritty edgy action heroes. They have to look cool more than they have to look sympathetic, and any gestures towards vulnerability (Dean’s issues with substance abuse being intermittently brought up, Sam’s desire to be “pure” and “clean”, their various interpersonal issues, their loneliness, etc) are used as set dressing much more often than they’re used as like, actual starting points for character development. These guys are serial killers but they also like puppies and feel sad sometimes, so it’s actually very morally complicated! That kinda shit.

And like again, if you want to make your lead guy a huge asshole then go for it, but you need to take that seriously. But the show doesn’t, so I’m not going to take it seriously either! Like I really can’t take #deantransgressions seriously most of the time because Dean being insane or an asshole is used to make the drama of the week/season spicier. If you want to take it as a commentary on familial trauma or cycles of abuse, the conclusion you will likely come to is “it’s inevitable that abused children will become abusive as adults”, which is horrifically shitty and depressing and I reject that completely. I don’t KNOW if the show is even trying to argue that, but again, I don’t think it’s aware of how murky and complicated these topics are, especially if you don’t treat them with an appropriate amount of care and nuance.

Anyway lol this has drifted way off topic but like, I think a lot of the show’s writing problems (at least re: character development) would be “fixed” by decoupling Dean’s perception of reality with reality itself. Like when he’s wrong, let him be wrong! Let there be consequences. And also let that still be a sympathetic position to be in and not this huge massive fuck-up that you need to be brutally punished to atone for or whatever. The show does this with Cas, it does it with Sam, it does it with all kinds of characters. I want Dean to get pushback on his behaviour and be told to snap out of it, and then watch him work through his bullshit and come out the other side a more self aware and well adjusted guy. I want to be his character development cheerleader! Having figures like Bobby who are fundamentally on Dean’s side but also know he can be an asshole sometimes and have no qualms telling him when he’s being one is sorely needed. If all the side characters on spn are meant to be in service to the mains, then at least have them do interesting things like that instead of all becoming epic cool girlboss hunters who join the brothers on hunts once or twice a season.

So anyway to maybe sort of answer your question, I think that balancing out the cast more events between Sam/Cas/Dean would go a long way, but also changing the way “being wrong” is handled on the show. It’s not a huge moral failing or character flaw to be wrong. Pre-supposing the characters’ humanity and operating from the perspective of “I want to help you get better” would massively improve a lot of the character problems on the show imo. Allow Dean to grow, give him the supportive space to do that in, and write the other two leads as fully fleshed out people who have goals and desires that have nothing to do with Dean, and I think you’d get a much more compelling show with much better character drama. Whether Dean remains the main character then becomes a matter of preference more than anything else

[drowningbydegrees]

Favorite Works of 2020

I was tagged by @girl-in-red-crossing (whose fics you should totally read if you haven’t! <3). Thank you!

Rules: it’s time to love yourselves! choose your 5 (ish) favorite works you created in the past year (fics, art, edits, etc.) and link them below to reflect on the amazing things you brought into the world in 2020. tag as many writers/artists/etc. as you want (fan or original) so we can spread the love and link each other to awesome works!

Ooh, this was kind of hard! I didn’t realize I made so many things this year. 

Though I Try Not To So, new fandoms are always a little scary for me. I don’t know the landscape, I lack confidence in my characterization, and often the first really personally compelling idea I have has been done a bajillion times. And that was definitely how I felt posting this one. I was already thrilled that I felt like writing again after hardly doing anything for over a year though, and if nobody read the darned thing, I’d still be happy for that. But I have never felt so overwhelmingly welcome in a fandom before as I did working on this story. It makes me want to collectively hug everyone.  Even if it Hurts (Even if it Makes Me Bleed)  I have kind of a love/hate relationship with the soulmate trope. I love a lot of soulmate fics. They’re often very sweet and well written. There are a couple I’ve found myself going back to read again because they’re wonderful. But as a person who harps a lot on personal agency, I have a little bit of a hard time with soulmates as a concept. This becomes extra true for me where Geralt is concerned because so much of his life and the people in it already got decided for him. I’ve always wanted to write a soulmate fic, but it didn’t feel like it would be true to the kind of stories I want to tell if I didn’t find some way to turn the trope on its ear. I had so much fun trying to work this out, and I’m actually really happy with the end result.  Even in the Dark I Know You I think pretty much all my friends from previous fandoms who put up with my current nonsense could tell you that most of the time when I’m flailing about a story idea, it’s in the context of “But what if it was worse???” Angst is my jam, but even more so when it comes with the catharsis of a hopeful ending. I think if there were one thing I wrote this year that really illustrates my reading and writing tendencies it’s this one. This actually started out with what was supposed to be a random oneshot for Geralt Whump Week, but I had so much fun playing with it that I didn’t stop until I’d spun it out into a proper narrative.  For The Space of a Heartbeat I started this fic back in June, wrote a bit, decided I was getting everything wrong, and closed the document for almost five months. And when I actually posted it, it was largely because I was supposed to be working on Whumptober prompts, and the minute I have a thing I’m supposed to be doing, my brain tends to insist that it’s really very urgent that I finish this other thing instead. That’s a terrible run-on sentence, but I’m rolling with it. I don’t think it’s even my own work that makes it a favorite of mine. It’s that someone left this one comment about they’d been having a terrible day and this made them smile anyway. There is no better feeling than knowing somewhere out there, someone’s life is at least the tiniest bit better because of what you put out into the world.  Nothing But The Background Noise This one is very close to my heart. I might claim to love angst (and I do), but sometimes it’s nice to write something that’s just unapologetically soft. I started it ages ago, got halfway through and then ended up stuck because I had this sentiment I was trying to illustrate, but nothing I wrote really seemed to articulate it while still feeling true to my translation of the characters. I was so, so, so happy when it finally hit me that I was too married to a particular ending and just needed to let go of it.  As for tagging! @mikkeneko @goodheavensgwen @inennui @valdomarx @teamfreehoodies and really, anyone who wants to. I really love reading these. <3

[prettyoddfever]

IT’S ALMOST HALLOWEEN

I know I have like a bajillion moments that are all my “favorite thing P!ATD ever did,” but Halloween 2008 seriously ranks way up there.

THE SONG & VIDEO:

Rock Sound asked Ryan in fall 2008 what his nightmares were like as a kid and he said “I was walking through a jungle and there was Frankenstein, Dracula, and the Wolf Man walking around too. I don’t remember what happened; I just remember that they were always there.”

A fan who was hoping to meet the band after one of the mid-October shows was told by Zack that the guys wouldn’t be coming out of their bus because they were busy getting drunk and writing a Halloween song haha. I saved a note of that because I didn’t think we’d ever get to hear it... I was just going to add it to a list of things that I hoped would get leaked someday.

Right before the St. Louis show the band posted on their blog: “we’re shooting a video ourselves for a halloween song we wrote, and need supplies/suggestions, drop them off tomorrow and you might see them again before the 31st. it’s almost halloween!!” And then they added the edit: “we will be in St. Louis so bring any halloween stuff to the show, the video will be shot tonight and monday.”

the main rumor was that they were filming a Nearly Witches video.

it sounded like the party scenes were filmed after the St. Louis show. idk if Dashboard Confessional had much to do with this, but guys from The Cab & Plain White T’s were definitely there.

PATD had the 20th off, so that's when they filmed the outdoor stuff near St. Louis. Ryan told Kerrang that the band went camping while they made the video. Zack complained the next day in Minneapolis about his bug bites ha. 

The picture above was posted on the band’s blog on October 24th with the caption “We wrote a song. We made a video. We did it all by ourselves.” Their next post a couple days later had the video.

You can see more of their blog posts here... the “Everybody SCREAM!” post on October 11th could show they had some lyrics done, but it was posted as a caption for a Ghostbusters edit. (The dates I’m listing could all be one day earlier or later btw depending on time zones & what you qualify as the next day... like I think 2am is still the previous day).

It’s Almost Halloween happened towards the end of the Pretty. Odd. cycle, so Ryan was trying to do more of the singing. The song also sounds closer to what The Young Veins did since that’s the stuff Ryan & Jon were writing at the time.

right before Halloween you could download the song from FBR’s webstore. The CD also got on there but I think that was a mistake because it was taken down. 

a friend sent me this recent interview with Spencer that everyone else has probably already seen... there were a couple new bits of info in there that were fun to hear!

A few fans had already started making their own versions of the video before the contest was even announced.

CONTESTS / PROMOS / “THINGS I DID NOT WIN”

Fans could vote on buzznet for which band member had the best costume. 

Northern Downpour started their Halloween video contest a bit earlier than the FOE one (as in before Halloween lol). NDP’s contest was different, but the entries were still entertaining (here’s the winner & second place video).

People created SO many fun videos – here are some that are left. 

Friends Or Enemies waited until like Halloween or the next day to announce their dance off contest... I just remember it felt like funny timing for making a video about how it’s almost Halloween. But here’s the announcement: “Since the band was new to the whole synchronized dancing thing, the Panic dudes want to see if you can do it better. Make a video to ‘It’s Almost Halloween’ with your own moves & upload it to this group now. The band will be judging & the video w/the best dance will receive some of the costumes worn in the ‘It’s Almost Halloween’ video. People wearing costumes will get more points.”

I would have absolutely loved to win Bden’s cape, but I’m also kind of grateful now that the deadline was too soon for a lot of us to get our potentially embarrassing videos planned & submitted.

Here’s the winning video. And then here’s the band’s message to them and the bundle of prizes they won:

THE SHOW(S):

The first time PATD played It’s Almost Halloween live was at the October 29th show. They also played it on October 30th (I liked this video the best but this one’s good too). The band had pumpkins onstage during the shows leading up to Halloween, but they added more decorations + costumes for the actual Halloween show.

this tombstone was the best decoration haha.

the first 1,000 people at the Halloween show got a cd of It’s Almost Halloween (it looked like the one in the black envelope in the picture above).

Brendon threw candy into the crowd from the pumpkin buckets :)

Jon & Spencer abandoned their masks after they played the first song (It’s Almost Halloween). Jon also had this hat at the meet & greet that he wore onstage for a bit (along with a beard for a short time).

Ryan skipped his hood but was stuck trying to play guitar with toilet paper arms. Here’s a comment he later made. 

Brendon loved his cape so much that it made me so happy. Fans talked about seeing him playing frisbee in the parking lot before shows in late October – he’d be wearing his regular clothes but had his cape on. He had to take it off after the second song during the show... and then his glasses disappeared too (but at least his shirt still had fake blood). 

Brendon sometimes changed the lyrics in That Green Gentleman this season, so he did it at this show too. He also messed with the Shout lyrics.

here’s a playlist of some videos from the Halloween show.

anything I post from Halloween 2008 will end up in this tag.

I combined some fan videos from the Halloween show to get a general idea of the night:

[comradekatara]

So I only watched ATLA for the first time this year and just finished LOK and I’m having trouble articulating why LOK felt a lil hollow in comparison. What are your thoughts on LOK? (I am absolutely loving your correct ATLA takes!)

“hollow” is a very good word to describe it. I know exactly how you feel.

lok has a very special place in my heart as a show that I think had a lot of potential, but ultimately missed the mark by just a hair. I absolutely love korra as a character; she’s probably my favorite television protagonist of all time, and her arc means a lot to me. as much as it can sound corny to say, representation absolutely does matter, and I’m so grateful that a character like her exists.

there are other elements of the show I like too, such as aspects of the worldbuilding, certain characters, fight sequences, episodes, or lore. that being said, I’m going to try to get into why it doesn’t have that same heart as atla that makes it so iconic and memorable, that gives atla that particular feeling of coming home. since there are multiple reasons, and I don’t think any one is the definitive answer, I’m going to break it down into bullet points:

for a lot of people growing up with atla, lok didn’t cater to our nostalgia the way fans had hoped. it very much is its own separate show with a different set of rules, themes, and expectations. I think the best way to watch lok, for this reason, is as a separate entity instead of as an extension of atla.

lok is split into four distinct seasons. atla has a narrative throughline, a quest narrative constructed so tightly that it feels like you’re going on a journey with the characters. in contrast, lok can feel meandering because other than korra’s arc, there is nothing to ground one episode to the next, thematically speaking. according to the creators, nickelodeon wasn’t exactly indulgent of this project in a way that would have allowed the writers to plot a multiple season arc in advance, with the exception of books 3 & 4, which do feel a lot more cohesive than books 1 & 2.

due to this change in narrative structure, lok doesn’t work as well as a bingewatch. I remember I enjoyed lok far more as a week to week airing experience than when I tried to bingewatch it. that being said, book 3 is truly excellent and could definitely be watched in succession, whereas book 2’s glaring problems become even more glaring when viewed back to back.

lok had very inconsistent writing in terms of quality. as mentioned in the previous point, book 3 was its peak in terms of writing, animation, and general cohesiveness, whereas book 2 was its definitive nadir. I don’t think the themes of book 2 as they related to korra’s spiritual arc were necessarily bad, but every character behaved so nonsensically and every plotpoint was so contrived it feels near-impossible to watch. but I always say powering through is worth it because book 3 slaps so hard.

the cast is kind of all over the place. though there are ostensibly five main characters (korra, tenzin, mako, asami, bolin) it can often feel like there are a bajillion characters we’re supposed to pay attention to at the expense of all the principal players, sometimes even including korra. what I wouldn’t have given, for example, for asami to be given more narrative space for her interiority to be explored. they created a truly special character with asami and didn’t seem to recognize this fact until it was too late.

the show’s worldbuilding feels more western than atla’s. it’s like the writers couldn’t imagine an industrialized word without imagining america’s industrial boom, which is absolutely ridiculous, and frankly, lazy.

there is no one main antagonist. in atla, it is the imperialism of the fire nation and its horrible effects on the world. in lok, it is a larger umbrella of “lack of balance,” but since korra’s character arc throughout the show does not directly tie to this narrative conflict, each resolution feels more like her putting out fires than facing some grand revelation, as opposed to aang being quite literally avatar: the last airbender and having to contend with those two facets of his identity. korra defining her own legacy and carving out her own space in her world as a spiritual leader is excellent and all, but only the red lotus truly addresses the opposition to this arc. otherwise, we can agree that fascism is bad, but it doesn’t exactly address why the world has turned its back on korra as an avatar specifically.

I love korrasami, and I think it was well-done. personally, I’m glad the relationship wasn’t shoved down our throats, because I think a weakspot of avatar’s writing has always been the romance. and nothing better illustrates this than the infamous love triangle. I don’t know whether this contributes to lok’s feeling of hollowness as opposed to just a general flaw, but I’d be remiss not to address it because it can make the first two seasons all but unbearable.

every character in atla existed to illustrate the show’s main themes. conversely, in lok there doesn’t even really seem to a “main theme.” it’s kind of just a show about korra interacting with the world. this isn’t necessarily a flaw, as plenty of tv shows are like this, but when compared to the epic scope of atla and just how tight the writing was, this lack of cohesion feels like a pit of missed potential.

comparing lok to atla in general is just folly because very few shows will be as richly layered, well-written, and generally masterful. lok is a show with its own merits, and I appreciate said merits, but it’s incredibly easy to be bitter that it did not live up to its predecessor. I thus recommend treating is as a separate media & narrative experience, and going from there.

[galactic-magick]

Secret Darling: Logan x Reader

Request: Hiya! I was wondering if you could maybe make a Logan x reader, (Gender neutral or female), where Logan's just casually sitting on the couch, (and I mean casual like he's not wearing his tie and is just, casual for once), typing away on his laptop when reader just wants attention and affection? Like just pure fluff, and a lot of it? XD - @zarieslayer​

Summary: None of the sides know you and Logan are dating and you wish you could be more openly affectionate.

Words: 1300+                                        

Warnings: Lots of kiss kiss

Author’s Notes: Combined this request with an idea I had for a secret dating AU lol. I also got very flustered writing this so hopefully it meets your fluff standards 😂 also this gif is gonna give me a stroke geez louise

Taglist: @luluwinchester​ @nerve-ous-love​ @zarieslayer​

-

-

-

Logan wouldn’t be caught dead like this except when he’s with you. He maintains a strict image of professionalism at all times. It gives him confidence, puts him in an intellectual mindset, and convinces everyone around him he’s serious and not to be messed with. He never as much as loosens his tie outside of closed doors.

Only with you does he allow himself to breathe, especially since you’re the only person he shows the softer part of himself to. None of the other sides know you two are together. It would completely destroy his reputation if they knew he has feelings, after all. Still, he does make an effort to spend as much time with you as he can when he’s not working. You meet him in his room nearly every day, and he gives you attention whenever he can when the others aren’t watching.

When you come in, he’s lounging on the couch, laptop on his lap, with the top few buttons of his shirt undone. His tie is completely off and his hair is a bit messy, but he’s still incredibly focused.

“Oh, hello darling,” he greets you.

“Hey,” you sigh, sitting down next to him. “How long have you been working on that?”

He doesn’t look up, continuing to type furiously, “Just a few hours,”

“A few hours?”

“Yes,”

“Don’t you want to take a break?”

“I will when I’m finished,”

“When will that be?”

“If I stay on schedule, approximately two more hours,”

“Two more hours?!”

He locks eyes with you, “You seem to be distressed over the normal passage of time, darling, are you quite alright?”

“Yeah…” you rest your head on his shoulder. “I was just hoping to get a bit of affection, that’s all,”

“Oh,”

“I know you’re super busy, but I just don’t think taking a break would really hurt,” you shrug, sitting up. “Did you know that in many people cuddling and kissing releases hormones that benefit your health? And people who hug a lot tend to have lower blood pressure levels?”

He smirks, “Sweetheart, are you trying to use knowledge against me?”

“Plus the happy chemicals or whatever can help you fight off sickness and sleep better, and we all know how much you love getting enough sleep,”

“Is that all?”                  

“Well you probably know more about science stuff than me, but there’s definitely bajillions of other benefits too, maybe kissing can cure allergies or something,”

“I don’t believe that’s correct,”

“Prove it, then,” you grin. “Kiss me ‘til I never sneeze again,”

“Darling, if all you wanted was for me to kiss you all you had to do was ask,” he closes his laptop and sets it aside. “You know I’d do anything you desire,”

You giggle as he interlaces his fingers with yours and pulls you close to him. He kisses your forehead first, then your nose, then each of your cheeks. His kisses are deliberate yet adoring, slow but not teasing. He presses his lips along your jaw and then stops to look into your eyes, taking a moment to memorize your flushed face before finally kissing your lips.

Your heart flutters as he moves his hands to cradle your face, running the pads of his thumbs across your cheekbones.

“Don’t you ever wish we could do this in front of the others?” you ask between kisses.

Logan pulls away, his fingers grazing down your neck and landing on your shoulders, “You…want to do this in front of everyone?”

“Well not this exactly,” you hesitate. “I mean like just casual quick pecks, holding hands, being able to cuddle when we have group movie nights,”

He looks down, “Would that…would that make you feel loved? Would that make you happier?”

“Oh, Logan,” you lift his chin up. “I do feel loved, and I am happy. I’m just saying it would be nice, that’s all,”

“It’s settled then,” he nods. “We won’t keep this a secret anymore,”

“Really?” you squeal, falling onto him and wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Yes,” he hugs you back tightly. “Although we should consider breaking it to them slowly, possibly have a bit of fun,”

“Fun, huh?”

“Are you questioning my ability to have fun?”

“Maybe a little bit,” you laugh.

“I simply think the best way to tell them is by acting as if they already knew, isn’t that fun?”

“You want to gaslight them?”

“That’s a bit of a strong word, but essentially, yes,”

“Have you been spending time with Janus?”

“Absolutely not,” he runs his knuckles down the side of your head. “You know I spend all my free time with you,”

“Ah, yes,”

“Would you like to resume?”

“Please,”

 -

 The next morning you meet everyone for breakfast and coffee in the kitchen. You give Logan a quick smooch before sitting down, and the others stare in disbelief.

“Please tell me I was not the only one who just saw that,” Roman gasps.

“What’s the matter, never seen a kiss before?” Virgil rolls his eyes.

“Excuse me, I have seen and experienced many kisses!”

Patton starts making indistinguishable noises, something between screaming and hyperventilating, “Logan!!! When were you going to tell us?!”

“Sure, whatever Princey,”

“You’re not at all shocked by this Virgil?”

“Not really. I’ve seen them going into the closet to make out a couple times,”

“What?!”

You give Logan a look, and you can tell he’s really struggling to stay composed. This is not going according to plan, especially since this didn’t seem to be as much of a secret in the first place as you thought.

“Alright, fine, you got us,” you surrender. “We’ve been together for a while now,”

“Awwww!!” Patton bounces in his chair.

Roman bursts out laughing, “Ha! Logan’s in looove,”

Logan turns his head to him and tightens his tie, “I don’t quite understand why that is so humorous to you, Roman. Love may be nothing more than chemicals in the brain, but it is nothing less than an exquisite experience that brings a multitude of opportunities for growth and learning. I for one find it quite exhilarating, and I hope one day you too will find someone who makes you feel the same,”

The table is dead silent for a moment.

“Wow,” Roman exhales. “How do you manage to sound so nerdy even when you’re being mushy?”

“It’s a talent only for the true intellectuals,” you butt in, reaching your hand across to grab Logan’s. “See you guys later,” you wink and dash out of the kitchen, pulling Logan along with you. You go into the closet and shut the door.

Logan let’s out a long sigh of relief, “You know, we don’t have to hide in here anymore,”

“Yeah…” you chuckle. “Did Virge really see us? We were being so careful,”

“I suppose not careful enough,” he grins. “But it no longer matters,”

You smile, pressing yourself against him and he wraps his arms around your waist, “That was really sweet what you said,”

“Well it’s true. Loving you has taught me much, and I wouldn’t trade it for the knowledge of a thousand books,”

“You’re adorable,”

“Only for you,” he smirks. He tightens his arms around you and gently captures your lips. You grab the collar of his shirt and deepen the kiss, only stopping when a bright light hits your eyes.

You both look towards the door to see Patton standing there with his mouth wide open.

“Oh! Uh, sorry kiddos,” he grabs his coat. “Just needed to get this, uh, thing,”

You cover your eyes and slam your head into Logan’s chest in embarrassment.

“Anyways, have fun! Stay safe!” Patton waves and closes the door.

“I’m beginning to think it would be favorable to find a new designated affection spot,”

“Yeah…but not yet,” you pull him back to you, kissing him hard.

[in-tua-deep]

The mechanical boy AU always makes me think of an AU where Five is also a robot. I think it’s because of the way it’s phrased and I have no idea how it would work, but it still intrigues me

adssfDFGHJ i already have like. 5 whole ideas about this I literally got up out of bed and came downstairs so that I could write this out on my laptop so HERE I AM

Possibility one: Five is the prototype Grace - a robot Reginald built to see how indistinguishable from humanity he could program a bot to be. This is also the reason why Grace is more robotic, because Five had too much pesky free will and Reginald learned from his mistakes and put way more safeguards in with her. Reginald continues to update Five and build him newer (and older) bodies because it’s still a pretty cool experiment, but Five knows if he disobeys too much then Reginald will recycle him. Five hides his robotic origins from his siblings for various personal reasons, but it’s easier than Grace bc he’s genuinely built to be as hyperrealistic as possible

Possibility two: Five was purposefully built to be an extra sibling in order to keep a closer eye on the kids and track their progress. He started as a baby and Reginald built him new bodies to be uploaded into as he ‘grew’ and until Grace arrived Five didn’t actually know he was a robot. When his siblings started getting powers, he assumed he was supposed to get a power as well and his power is literally the power of math - his spatial jumps and time travel equations are literally a result of his mathematical capabilities and those abilities also somewhat explained by his computer brain. He’s actually kind of traumatized when he finally finds out that he’s not actually human and has a lot of issues surrounding that

Possibility three: the original number Five died. Maybe it was some test Reginald put the original through, maybe it was an accident with one of the others powers (Vanya’s? Ben’s?), but either way he is now down one (1) child and while he isn’t exactly torn up about this he doesn’t exactly want any of this investigated so he just. Replaces him. With a hyperrealistic robot. His original plan is to claim that both Five and Seven were failures with no powers, but the little Robot Five That Could adapts and manages to math himself spatial jumping powers and Reggie is just kind of like “huh okay wack” but in true irresponsible creator fashion decides that he’s going to see where this goes. The others don’t know that the original Five dies since they were like, three or four at the time?? children that young don’t have good concepts of death

in any of these aus you have a) a Five figuring out how to survive/repair himself/charge with maybe solar cables?? in the apocalypse (though food is less of an issue at least, but arguably it’s even harder), b) Five being even more protective of Dolores since as a a fellow non-organic being he feels even more kinship with her beyond pretending she’s company, c) because Reggie isn’t there to provide more bodies he doesn’t grow which makes his reappearance as a still 13-yr-old make sense (and then he explains it as a mistake in the math)

debatable whether the Commission know since while they say they’ve been ‘watching Five’ or whatever i’m not convinced on how closely they did so beyond checking every so often to see if he was still alive/any closer to finishing his equations. He could claim that time travel messed up his ability to age entirely and they might accept that 

(because I absolutely think he would at least try to hide it - can you imagine the Commission with the knowledge of how to build hypercompetent spatial jumping time travelling robots at their command?? yeah it gives Five nightmares as well. Plus the whole ‘if they find out they’re probably going to vivisect me and my coding’ thing)

and he jumps back and Reggie is dead and that’s both a relief and alarming at the same time because yeah, now Reggie can’t fuck with Five’s code anymore and undo the bajillion changes Five has made to it to give himself basically unlimited freedom and autonomy but also Reggie’s robotics skills were frankly unparalleled and Five sure as hell doesn’t know how to build himself a wholeass new body (just how to repair what is currently there) so he’s going to have to approach the whole ‘immortal child’ angle with his siblings eventually and while he can use the same ‘time travel fucked up my aging’ excuse he gave the commission he doesn’t really want to lie to his siblings :(

but he also jumps back and Grace is messed up?? and that’s his mother. That’s the only other robot in Reggie’s Regime and they bonded over this okay. Wifi existed for five glorious years of Five’s life and they would yeet commentary at one another wirelessly while keeping straight faces and it was glorious. Even though Grace is arguably the younger robot between them, they definitely fell into a mother-and-son relationship

so yeah if anyone mentioned shutting down Grace, Five would throw the biggest of bitch fits and then immediately storm into the house and ask her permission to check her coding

and honestly this might possibly be when Five throws his whole “pretend to be human” schtick out the window because he cares more about fixing Grace than he does about maintaining his charade so he interfaces with her, finds out what the fuck is up, removes Reginald’s shitty mods that are messing her up, and then immediately uploads his own updates about owning yourself and being able to edit your own code and basically just straight up ensuring Grace has free will

(probably over Pogo’s protests, whoops. Derailing Reggie’s plan before it even really began? wack)

and then of course there’s the whole ‘Hargreeves probably don’t believe Five is actually Five because their Five wasn’t a robot and this is probably a cruel prank from some robotics genius for some reason - ’ and it takes Grace sticking up for him and Pogo’s eventual backing up of these claims for the siblings to realize exactly how fucked up this whole situation was

depending on which probability you subscribe to it’s EVEN WORSE especially if like. It’s the one where the original Five dies as a toddler.

the whole scene with Five collapsing from bloodloss bc of shrapnel? that’s Five going into forced shutdown bc of damage and Allison/Diego rushing him back to the house for Grace to patch up and reboot him

Luther: Five isn’t really feeling anything he’s just simulating emotions!

Five: oh? and what the fuck are you doing with the chemicals in your brain, fuckwad? they couldn’t possibly be little electrical signals between synapses and shit, right? fuck you AND the horse you rode in on me and mom apparently feel more than you do

Diego, finally validated that Grace feels: YEAH

Luther: ... okay i’m sorry

Diego tries to pick a fight with Five over who is Grace’s favorite child and Five is absolutely not having it and is just kind of like “you’re mom’s favorite HUMAN child and let’s just leave it at that”

“If you’re a prototype that means you’re older than she is!” Diego accuses, “That means you’re like, her older brother or something!”

“Right back at you, dickwad.” Five shoots back, inspecting his artificial fingernails, “Mom wasn’t built until she was needed which means you are at least four years older than her. Oh? Did you short circuit there, boy scout? Need to reboot? Fuck off with your age logic.”

since Reginald is probably a packrat he probably has?? Five’s old bodies hiding somewhere in the basement? how creepy would it be to just walk into a room of your brother’s corpses at various ages, some with damage. On the bright side, if Five’s current body gets too fucked up he can always download himself into a backup until they figure out how to fix it/if they can fix it. Downsides: he gets to look like even more of a child while they do that ://

“Ow!” Five whines, hand on his face

“Oh get over it you don’t feel pain.” Diego scowls, shaking his hand out, because Five is a robot, right?

“What the fuck do you call signals that you’re getting damaged!” Five howls loudly, attracting attention, “That’s what pain is! Signals that your body is injured or something isn’t right! I’m built of signals you fucker, same as you!”

“Oh,” Diego actually looks a little abashed, “Uh, sorry.”

“Apology not fucking accepted, I’m telling mom you were being a dick about me being a robot again.”

“No!” Now there is some panic because Diego cannot lose his position as favorite human child, “I - I’ll cover for you at the next family meeting!”

A considering look and then - “Deal.”

Honestly now that his siblings know about him being a robot it’s just. Five constantly being a little shit about it and threatening to tell mom when they make missteps. Also like, Five gets to use robot terms 24/7 as a consistent reminder to them all that he’s not organic. 

Klaus: hey dude you’re just staring into space what’cha doing

Five, turning to Klaus with wide eyes: the internet is so big holy shit.

Klaus: uh, yes? I don’t know how to respond to that

Five: I found your arrest record by the way. Do the police know how flimsy their firewalls are?

Klaus: usually i am all for crime but please stop hacking people with the power of your mind

Five: i will when you stop downloading shitty 70s movies and getting all kinds of viruses on everything

OH SHIT Five gets sick bc he literally gets a bug i’m making myself laugh with shitty puns right now and it is magnificent

can you imagine them at a family meeting and Luther is just like “Five, stop surfing wikipedia or whatever and pay attention to the family meeting”

“Absolutely not,” Five says, “I’m learning important information about the current time period in order to better assimilate.”

“You’ve never assimilated to anything in your life and you know it.” Klaus grins from his spot sprawled across an entire couch.

“You don’t have to come to family meetings!” Luther says, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration.

Five blinks, “Luther, are you saying that I am not a member of this family?”

“What? No - ”

“Is that why Mom isn’t here?” Five says, and his eyes are welling up with artificial tears because he is a complete little shit. And now Klaus is cooing sympathetically and Allison and Diego are staring Luther down. 

Luther just gives up entirely and puts his face in his hands. “Do whatever you want. Meeting adjourned.”

honestly this entire au is just

and i think that’s wonderful

[dreadnought-dear-captain]

You Asked, I Told

(Note, if this post shows up twice or massively delayed or just looks weird, it’s because it was flagged for adult content [??!] because I had a picture of Willem Dafoe’s face in a gif. I am not even kidding. Do with that information what you will. I’ve removed it and I still don’t know if/when this can be publicly viewed, I’m kind of lolling. So if you see a blocked out photo that looks like porn in your post, I swear it’s just a gif from The Lighthouse!)

Hello, amazing people. This weekend, I’m putting the final touches on my last draft of Baghdad Waltz Chapter 39, which will then go to the beta for one more round of edits. I imagine I will have the chapter posted in 1-3 weeks, which is close to record speed for me, especially since it’s around 30k words. I’m going to be talking about my writing process (at unfortunate length) for one of the asks, for those who are interested. 

Please forgive me. I’m feeling quite verbose and a little squirrely. I blame living alone during lockdown. 

It’s also Memorial Day weekend in the States, which is when we are meant to honor those who gave their lives in military service to this country. This is often confused with Veterans Day (November 11), which is honoring anyone who has served in the military and is no longer serving. This gets further confused with Armed Forces Day (rotating date, May) which is to honor those currently serving in the military. I know, super confusing. 

There’s a wide range of opinions on how Memorial Day should be commemorated, which often involves gathering with friends and family for a barbecue or some other social activity. It’s the first major holiday after a huge holiday drought throughout the late winter and spring, which often makes people look forward to it immensely. Some people feel it’s inappropriate to celebrate Memorial Day with barbecues and fond social gatherings because it’s dishonoring the memories of those who can’t be here, people don’t take time to remember those who have died, people have no idea what the day is actually for, etc. Others, even some very vocal veterans, maintain that people died so that we could be here to celebrate in freedom, so why not relish this life we have? Many offer the caveat that it’s appropriate to at least acknowledge the purpose of the day, even if it’s just in a few minutes of quiet reflection. 

Anyway, I offer this as a little food for thought for this upcoming long weekend. 

(And in case you missed it, I posted a BW Timeline for your reference.) 

Contains spoilers through Chapter 38.

[Takes deep breath]

I’m so glad that you are enjoying the read and that you’re finding it inspiring for your own work. I think my dedication to research for BW is threefold. 1) As this story evolved, I decided that I wanted to create the most realistic depictions of military, civilian, emotional, and physical life that I reasonably could. I will fully admit to lapses in this, deliberate and unintentional, because sometimes the plot just needs to go and I can’t wait around for a year-long medical discharge process for my character. 2) I’m in an academically stringent occupation, and because research is such a prominent part of my work life, it’s bled to my hobby. (IS THIS EVEN A HOBBY ANYMORE?) And 3) I get very easily and passionately obsessed with things and delight in getting “into the weeds” with a subject. Almost every research divergence usually takes me off track for at least an hour. And you will never catch me without an MTA subway map open in at least one tab.

But that wasn’t even your question! Sorry. Are you beginning to get a sense of why BW takes me so long to write?? I cannot keep my shit on track. As for the bibliography, YES! I plan to include that in my author’s note at the end. I wish I had kept better track of all of my works consulted over the past three years, but I will definitely discuss the importance of some of the main ones. I’m so thrilled that you are interested, and I’m excited to share them!

Thank you. This is such a kind thing to say, and I’m humbled and delighted to hear it, especially because our fandom is so blessed with some AMAZING fics. And asks certainly don’t have to be questions! I appreciate them all (except the flaming bag of dog shit ones, which I haven’t had in a while, hooray).

(Re: Chapter 37) Good question! I imagine Claire would want to keep the 1:1 conversation somewhat limited, as she is treating the couple as a patient rather than them as individuals. If anything, she might have somewhat superficially checked in to see if he was okay rather than dive into anything regarding the relationship with Bucky not around. That could be seen as a betrayal of trust to Bucky and could be interpreted as favoritism, which Steve craves and which Bucky is probably terrified about.

I am always pleased when people re-read and enjoy it or get new things out of it, even if it’s sometimes a re-read is a function of my slow-ass writing. I really want a story with good re-read value.

You make an excellent point about Bucky’s relationships. His friendship with Jack also had no real closure. Sometimes this is a factor of circumstance and sometimes it’s because of his avoidance, like a self-fulfilling prophesy almost. He’s learned that people betray you, either by hurting you or dying, so he creates conditions sometimes (often unwittingly) for things to go sour and end poorly, or he will simply make himself disappear so that he’s not hurt and doesn’t have to wait to see if he will be abandoned or betrayed. He’s not a guy who is good with goodbyes.

As for Thor, I totally see how it would read that way. I think Thor started out fishing for longer-term possibilities in a romantic relationship but then realized Bucky is really not a guy who is comfortable settling (which, as we can see, is true). As for why it seems more serious, one thing is that Thor still wanted Bucky in his life as a friend, possibly one with benefits. They have a lot in common, and it’s hard for veterans - and, more specifically, special operators - to find people in their lives they can relate to with these very intense life experiences. I wanted this to be a real relationship, but maybe not necessarily one that was bound to become a RELATIONSHIP. I think Bucky was very intriguing and attractive to him, and he very well may have struggled with his own vacillation between whether to take it seriously or whether to remain friends+. This can lead to mixed messages.

And we also have to remember Bucky’s notoriously unreliable narration, where he will see what he wants to see. Our perspective comes from him. We see the details he zooms in on, miss the one he ignores, view the relationship through the lens of his own contentious desire for a real relationship, even as he consistently demonstrates the lack of capacity and his fear about getting serious. I imagine Bucky has having an extremely poor ability to distinguish friendship from romance, and why wouldn’t he, given the most recent bit of history we have learned about him with Jack? He’s had a series of friendships become sexualized, and I think this affects his capacity to be discerning. Bucky’s radar for relating, whether friendships, romance, or potentially dangerous sexual situations, is terribly mis-calibrated. How confusing for him and for the people in his life. Of course, everyone is free to interpret the dynamics of any relationship however they choose. These are just some of my thoughts.

I really appreciate observations from the re-read! Thank you!

I watched the video and you are right! This is definitely a Bucky song. Bucky’s sense of self is by turns profoundly distorted and lacking in grounding, especially now that he’s not in the military. He’s been in a low key existential crisis since he was a kid and has turned to drinking and sex and war to fill this horrible void, and although I can’t speak for what the artists here intended, I certainly sensed those elements here for sure. (Also, what an interesting choice for a music video…)

Thank you for sharing! I’ll add it to the unofficial BW playlist in the author’s note, which consists of various songs people have associated with BW and shared with me.

Good question! I started off this story picturing the actors who represent the characters in the MCU, because I figured we’d be picturing that when we read the fic anyway (though my beta told me she doesn’t see them as the actors, more like artists’ renderings of the characters, which I find interesting). So when describing their physicality, I tend to refer back to the MCU, since this is technically an MCU AU. But the longer I go with the story, the murkier the resemblance feels to me, especially when I think about Bucky, IDK why. I have also been considering doing something more with BW after I finish it (i.e., converting it into a proper not-bajillion-word novel, sunk cost and whatnot), in which case I would definitely change the characters’ appearance, names, cut MCU Easter eggs, etc. So when I try to think of who these people might be in future iterations of the story, things get even more blurred in my mind when I imagine them.

I wonder how other people see them??

So, with regards to PTSD clinical teams, there is some variation across VAs in the system. Some focus more on military-related trauma, whether it’s war, military sexual trauma, accidents, etc. as a way of concentrating their services and managing supply and demand. From talking with providers in these kinds of systems, sometimes you just NEED a military-related trauma, but you can be treated for, say, a childhood trauma if it’s more pressing. Other VAs are very open in their criteria, and you can see them for pretty much any kind of trauma that qualifies diagnostically for PTSD (or sub-threshold PTSD) without question. That’s why I love the expression “If you’ve been to one VA, you’ve been to one VA.” That said, it kind of doesn’t matter what kind of PTSD clinical team is at the VA in Manhattan, because Bucky has so much military trauma that he would very likely qualify to receive services in any PTSD clinical team. They just might focus on childhood stuff (if Bucky actually let them, which is another matter entirely).

This is a great question! Thanks for asking.

I love a snarky asshole Bucky so much, and I’ve tried to temper this version of him with enough hard-earned genuineness to offset it a little bit. It’s such a tender balance with him, because if you back him too far into a corner, he’s going to let you have it. But if you give him too much space, it’s hard to pin him down and wring something honest from him. He’s definitely learned to use humor and sarcasm to deflect from painful or uncomfortable situations, and it’s a very adaptive short-term strategy that makes him both endearing and infuriating to others.

But ugh, yeah, shit gets so rough around Chapter 28/29. I don’t know how to feel when people have really strong emotional reactions to this story, because one part of me doesn’t want to contribute to the crappy feelings people may already be struggling with — especially in the times of COVID — but I don’t want to be afraid to dive into the hurt these characters are experiencing. That’s why I recommend checking in with oneself before reading to get a sense of how much emotional bandwidth is available to manage the immense problems of two people struggling so much. I also think that for some people it can be cathartic or otherwise not-bad maybe (?), based on the feedback I’ve received. I also really try hard to balance out the painful stuff with growth, even though it can be terribly difficult to locate sometimes.

In comments to folks, and here, I often talk about adjusting the ticks on your measuring stick for progress, where instead of leaps of progress over feet/meters, we may be observing things on an inch/mm scale. This story is my most sincere effort at a “recovery is not linear” narrative, which I think is so much more reflective of real life for a lot of folks than a straight upward trajectory. Humans are such creatures of habit, and the lessons these characters have learned through their lives about themselves, trust, relationships, and how to manage emotions are very deeply ingrained — often through traumatic means. These are the lessons learned the hardest, with the greatest perceived consequences for change, and it takes real courage for us to be able to try new things even once, let alone to establish a reliable pattern of behavior. This can lead to a lot of frustration for us as readers/writer, and I come from a place of this being okay, because we are encountering a parallel process with the characters, who are frustrated with each other and themselves about the same things. I do hope the pain/progress/joy ratios are not horribly out of whack most of the time. That’s another reason I like long chapters, because if this was just blips of sometimes terrible episodes in shorter form, I think it would be very challenging to not lose hope entirely.

But I’m so glad you’re finding the read meaningful, even if it’s sometimes painful and difficult.

(YES.)

And FINALLY -- (this is all soooo long, I’m so sorry.)

Oh, thank you for this question! My spreadsheet ended up getting too difficult to manage, and I actually had a small crisis six months ago about how the fic was going to end, because it just didn’t feel right. I had to scrap it and go back to the drawing board and really ask myself - what would these characters really do? Naturally, as a factor of their psychologies and circumstances, how will they bring this story to an end? Some advice I once heard about a “satisfying” ending is that it’s the place where there’s simply nothing more to say about the characters. There’s no more story to tell. I had to abandon all of my desires  and ideas for a particular ending or concerns about making people sad or happy or excited or disappointed. I know that the only ending that will be satisfying is one that makes sense for these people. Anything contrived or backward-engineer-y wouldn’t feel right to anyone. I do have a couple of specific character arc things I want to happen, so I set those down as touchstones and said, okay, what would happen next? What would Steve do with this? And what would Bucky do with this? And what would they do with the thing the other person did? I take a very psychology and prior-behavior-based approach to plotting, almost all character driven. The rest is just figuring out what is supposed to go where and how to organize it.

I’ve converted everything to a Google Doc and have a very basic outline where I write plotty-plot stuff. I also have a “garbage dump” doc where I write certain lines I want to use or certain details I want to include somewhere. When I get into a new chapter, I’ll check the dump doc as I outline and write to see if I want to pluck anything from there. I have my outline open regularly to add to it. Sometimes I write scenes out of order, dialogue first, but that’s only if I really am excited about a particular scene and cannot contain myself. Otherwise, I write completely chronologically and have no buffer. I post things as soon as I write them.

As for your specific questions, I do have a “process” for getting into my characters’ heads. It helps to know them so very well and to have a firm sense of their idiosyncrasies and patterns of behavior. As you may have noticed, they repeat their patterns all. the. time, as humans do, but I also want to have them change their behaviors a little as things go and they progress. So I may wonder what they could do a little differently, why they would WANT to behave differently, and imagine what they would need to do to change their behavior. Do they need to take breaths? Do they remember the last time some shit went down? I really try to think of the “how” and “why” of every single action - from big blowouts to eye rolls.

So once I’ve figured out what they are going to do, I try to pinpoint the associated emotions I want to highlight. This is a whole separate process, because I have to think also about their internal versus their external emotional states. Steve, for example, will often have a discrepant inside and outside, because one of the truths about his character is that he is a chronic suppressor. There is also the issue of unreliable narration and interpretation of behavior. Steve might do something in a scene, but that doesn’t mean Bucky is going to interpret it the way it was intended. I have to think about their individual filters, which often reflect their internal beliefs about themselves. Bucky is more likely to read Steve’s actions as reflections of how BUCKY feels about HIMSELF (e.g., he’s disgusted by me because I’m disgusting) rather than imagine what Steve is really thinking based on his own experiences and beliefs about Bucky. I also attempt to convey some of the more second and third layer emotions that people have in situations, rather than only highlighting the primary emotion. Sad things don’t always just make people sad. Powerful emotions, for example, might make Steve feel out of control of himself, which could generate secondary emotions for him like frustration because he’s losing control. Part of the process in the construction of the narrative is also scrubbing what I’ve written for POV, because Bucky’s word choices aren’t the same as Steve’s, and in order to try to preserve the “voice” of each character, I often have to change the words I’ve opted to use, as well as the syntax.

So, as you can see, there’s a lot of layering that is happening all the time. As for the dialogue, I have no compunction about saying the lines aloud, “acting” them to see how they sound, to get a sense of what tone I want them to say things in. Now that I think of it, I do a bit of movement-based stuff, thinking about how people sit and stand, figuring how many steps it takes to get from A-Z, what it would look like to lean against something, how it would feel on the body, etc. I try to get the most felt sense of things as I can. If I’m imagining a scene, I try to put myself in the shoes of the characters to the point where I feel the emotions, just so I can know how it reflects in my body and my mind and behavior. I have more than once gotten drunk and drunk-written drunk Bucky then gone to clean it up later, as drunk writing can generate some great content I never would have been able to come up with sober, but the form, grammar, spelling, etc. is often rubbish. I also talk a LOT to my beta about all of this stuff, and I have certain friends and acquaintances in the fandom who are my consultants for various things.

So, I’m somewhat method I guess?? Is that a thing?? I dunno. It’s not hard to do when you live and breathe a story. It’s required a deep level of interest in - quite possibly an obsession with - the characters and their lives. I adore my characters, not in a self-congratulatory way, but because they feel so real to me. So it’s a joy to plan and write -- though I do hate first drafts with a passion.

OH - I also sometimes fast-draft chapters, which I did for 39. That is, write as FAST AS YOU CAN with no regard for how shitty the writing is. I wrote 10k words in a week, which was a finished fast-draft for me, and thus I had a very good felt sense of what was going to happen in the chapter, which felt amazing. It requires intensive outlining before, and nearly every word had to be rewritten, but one of the greatest frustrations of a story for me is having blank space ahead. Re-writing is way more fun than first draft writing. I have fluffed it up twofold with higher quality content, which I did all in less than two months…!! 

-------------------------

Well, this is surely my most unnecessarily yammering YAIT in history. But I hope it at least conveys my enthusiasm for these wonderful asks! It’s so lovely to hear from all of you, even if I take an eon to get back to you. Hang in there, everyone!

@grimshady @hutchhitched​ @b0n3l3ssm1lk​ 

(And thank you to @bae-buckyaboveeverything​ for the shout out. You made my day<3)

[maraudererasmut]

Your writing is hands down amazing! I hope you don’t mind but I myself am an aspiring writer and have started my own novel, an original and am trying to gain confidence in posting it on tumblr. I was hoping you might have some tips for me, being a writer yourself, if not I’m sorry for bothering you! Have a nice day :)

Well, firstly, THANK YOU! I really appreciate that! That’s so sweet of you!

You’re not bothering me at all, my friend! I have tons of different tips that I can offer you! Now, keep in mind, I am writing from one person’s experience; every writer who you talk to is going to have a different experience than mine, and each and every one of those experiences are equally as valid! Keeping that in mind, let’s move onto some things that I have learned over time!

Practice, practice, practice!

Yup, you’ve heard this one a bajillion times, but that won’t ever make it less true! They always say that “practice makes perfect.” I don’t agree with that; I think any artist will tell you that they have never looked at their work and called it “perfect”. There’s always something to improve on. And you know what? That’s an amazing way to view the world! If you’re constantly striving to improve, you will always be producing better content than before and you will be gaining skills along the way!

Practicing does NOT have to mean writing a thousand words a day. Or five hundred words. Or any specific amount of words! To some people, having a daily count is really helpful! That’s not useful for me, though, and it doesn’t work for everybody. For me, practice involves me jotting things down on my phone when I think of ideas (I have so many lists of ideas!). It involves me writing a paragraph here or a sentence there. It involves me sometimes sitting down and writing for hours, or just putting a few words into a doc while I wait for my bus. As long as I am thinking about writing, as long as I am gearing my mind into that headspace, I consider it practice!

Take notes! Lots of them!

One of the things that I love about writing is that I’m always learning something new. I read a fic the other day that included a word that I didn’t know. That’s right, I’m an avid reader and a writer and I still come across words that I don’t know! I wrote that word down into my “Words I like” list. In fact, I have a whole thesaurus that I’ve developed at this point that includes words that I like, words to replace words that I don’t like, and words that make me happy! Whenever I hear a word or a phrase or a sentence that I enjoy, I add it somewhere so that I don’t forget it.

Similar to what I said in a previous post about learning from other artists’ drawing styles, I think it’s very important to learn from other writer’s styles as well! What do you like about their writing? Is it the varying sentence structure? Is it the words they use? Is it the way they describe things? Once you learn to identify things that you like, you can record them and remember them in the future as things that you want to work on!

Screw the Nay Sayers!

I had been told a million times that “publishing is hard!” and “it takes a while to get published!” and “don’t expect to publish a book for years!”. And frankly, none of those things are necessarily true. Yes, publishing can be difficult, and yes, it can take a long time to get published. It can also be super easy! It can take a very short amount of time! It can suddenly fall into your lap like any other opportunity! The trick is to make yourself available for opportunities. You have to put yourself out there and make an effort in order for things to happen to you. I had a friend once who told me one of his goals is to be published. I asked if I could read some of his work, and he said he hadn’t written anything down yet. I love him dearly, but I’ll be the first to admit that he’s probably not going to have anyone knocking at his door asking for his novel.

So despite the negative things that people tell you, it’s a great idea to put yourself out there and make some noise. You’re going to have to be your best advocate, because if you don’t like your work, why would the publisher?

Use the community to your advantage!

We’re here, we’re queer, and we’re eager to read whatever it is that you’ve done!

The fanfiction community (and writing community in general) are pretty damn helpful! Sometimes, you have to let yourself go a little bit and insert yourself into the community in order to take advantage of all of the wonderful, helpful people around! I’ll use Wolfstar as an example: There are discord servers dedicated to Wolfstar writers. There are people who offer themselves as beta readers, who will check other people’s fics for spelling and grammar and context mistakes. There are people who will “sprint” with you, where you race against the clock to write as much as you can, mostly competing with yourself more than anything!

There is nothing wrong with asking for help sometimes, and most of us LOVE being able to help out! It’s what makes us happy! It’s what keeps us going! Use us!

One thing to note: eventhough these small sections of the community are often dedicated to a ship, you do not need to be writing fanfiction to participate! Often times, people are happy to read your original work and help you with it! 

Fanfiction isn’t a swear word

A lot of people look at Fanfiction and frown on it, saying it’s less than original fiction for some reason. 

It’s not. 

It’s just another form of writing!

It’s really important to remember that no matter what it is you are writing, you are still practicing! So if you want to write the same two boys falling in love over and over and over and over (read: my entire blog), that’s fine! You’re working on character development, you’re working on describing scenes, you’re working on describing people, etc. It’s all part of the big practice bubble! Don’t let anybody tell you that writing fanfiction is something to be ashamed of. Period.

Read some stuff!

There are a few really good resources out there for how to publish a novel or how to write a novel. Some are redundant. Some of them are boring.

How Not To Write a Novel is really funny and charming, and it has some very valid points! I definitely suggest you check it out, even if you just want to see what terrible writing looks like! It’s great, and I enjoyed it!

Read what other people have to say and learn about their experiences to help shape your own! A lot of people have tons of information out there, and all you have to do is Ravenclaw it up!

Anyway!! I don’t know if any of this is particularly helpful or not, but I just wanted to put out some of the things that I wish someone had said to me earlier! Remember, you are awesome. Work hard and practice advocating for yourself, and you will do amazing things! 

[thiscrimsonsoul]

❀ What is a muse you want to play but haven’t? Why haven’t you played them yet?

{out of paprikash} Honeythorn Gump from the 1985 movie Legend. First of all, no hate for Legend, please, haha. I know Tom Cruise jumping around in a leaf skirt is hilarious, but this movie was really incredible for its time and to me is far more magical than any of the Lord of the Rings movies by far. Tim Curry is an absolute treasure and he plays an amazing Lord of Darkness in it. I grew up with it, it came out when I was five, and I’ve seen it a bajillion times. If you like high fantasy movies, you really should watch it... but please watch the original version with the Tangerine Dream soundtrack, I beg you. Not only is the music far better and fitting for the movie, but the remastered version uses B-roll footage for a lot of the scenes for some odd reason that just was not as good as the original.

Anyway... Honeythorn Gump, otherwise known as just “The Gump” is a wise, brave, and playful Elven forest guardian. He looks like a child to humans, but he’s actually very old. If you’d like to see what he’s like, you can watch this clip. He is a leader among forest kin and can be rather stern when he’s disobeyed or when those around him do stupid things that upset the natural balance of the forest and the world. He’s a really cool character, and it would be a lot of fun to write a fae like him. I used to write Nuada from Hellboy II, I’ve written angel and demon canons and OCs, and I write Vision, so I do enjoy writing non-human characters. Something that’s a lot of fun for me is to really try to capture through the dialog I write and their general personality and mannerisms the fact that they aren’t human. Angels shouldn’t be humans with wings, just like fae shouldn’t be humans with pointy ears. They’re not human, and so they shouldn’t behave like humans, think like humans, have the same psychology as humans, etc. That’s something that’s a challenge to me as a writer but is also fun, to really pull off writing a non-human character so that other feel it and it’s believable.

The reason I haven’t ever tried to write Gump is that... there really is no fandom for Legend rp. He’s also very limited to forests and natural areas as far as where threads could occur, and let’s face it... he can be kindof a jerk. He can be arrogant and he definitely thinks he knows better than any mortal. I’m not sure how many people would want to write with him and like... what.... fandom... would... I attempt to interact with? I’m not sure he would fit in with Tolkien stuff since those elves are so different. Maybe Hellboy II. But yeah, I doubt I’d really be able to get many interactions with him, you know? I’d spend all this time having to develop him (because not much is known in the movie) and then... nothing. Not worth the work, frankly.

[dojaeism-archived]

OMG I AM SO SORRY I tend to talk so much, you might be writing more because of that :( I can't promise short length but I'll try to restrict my fingers from typing out too much (she says as she types this nonsense that uses a bajillion words already 💔) I've been looking after myself, don't worry~ there's just a lot to do as both my parents work and my elder sister and I mostly try to manage our younger siblings and stuff haha Ah, I get that; glad to know you still like doing it! - ❄️

sorry for taking so long to respond omgg but hi!!!

asfhgjsadkj I'm no one to get excited over T^T the ones I am currently mostly active on are 2 out of ig 5-6 blogs? I rarely post on main but you'll see me do something once every blue moon haha Ooh what do you like cooking most then? I make cheesecake myself at home from yogurt instead of cream cheese and it's very light so I can easily eat a slice ^^ I don't like sweets much so it's rare I even have something that isn't on the more bitter or tart side (even then very picky hehe) - ❄️

Quiche is definitely something you should try; it's basically a savoury pie! Stews are awesome too; if you're a person who likes deep flavours but not in watery form (e.g soups, broths) like me, then that's the perfect option as it's consistency is gravy-like and packs a punch Lol they put zero effort in even trying to know their way around the kitchen so when they're forced to do so in the future, they'll definitely get the hang of it :) - ❄️

haha I'm the kind of person who disappears for days/weeks and then mass produces gifs when they return (as explicitly told by my friend) but I quite enjoy it (*^w^) I think giffing for 1-2 groups specifically made me use so much time that I rarely gif others unless I have the time to; but I do wanna try to gif exo more... I gif txt and stray kids! (and some others on and off on my multi blog) - ❄️

I look forward to becoming friends with you too~ haha merci beaucoup; je fais de mon mieux! Those two were like the only games I liked (the puzzle parts though, not much of the fighting Lol) OOF that's a lot, I hope you didn't lose too much sleep for that! Thank you, good luck with your classes and I hope this year passes by nicely for you (also I deeply apologise because I said I wouldn't talk too much but I'm kinda sure I surpassed the normal word limit 😶) - ❄️

please don’t apologise for talking too much omg i love love hearing what you have to say!! you’re always welcome to send as many asks as you’d like hehe and im glad to hear that you’re taking care of yourself!

jkfgnkjfg i know what u mean, i have like 6 sideblogs and i am allllll over the place for all of them LOL either way, im excited to find out who you are!!!

i don’t think i really have a favourite dish, cooking still isn’t my thing tbh i’d rather eat than cook 😭 i only did it bc my parents were like “u gotta show us what u learnt all this time away at uni” and i was like “omg.. here eat this! now leave me alone!” LMAO but its interesting that you make cheesecake from yoghurt :0 i might try that to see if it turns out better!!!! quiche sounds nice! its kinda hard to get stuff like that and pie/stews etc here bc its not very common so i’ll have to see :0

ohh i get u!!!! when i initially started giffing i’d do it for like 6/7 hours a day no kidding, i literally just sat there and giffed all day (to the point where i had a permanent cramp in my hand) but now im like hmm here’s a gifset once a year maybe haha but i almost exclusively only gif jaehyun lol its kinda tragic 😭 im currently trying to gif more people on my sideblogs bc i’ve always wanted to gif them but the jaehyun tunnel vision is so real 😩 its so ironic that chanyeol is my ult but i have never giffed him ever in my life LMFAOOO i really gotta change that….. but omg i love stray kids!! well i solo stan felix actually but they’re all cute!! id love to get into giffing them!!! i don’t really know txt though, but people are always saying lots of lovely things abt them hehe

omg im the opposite! i hate the boring story bits of games lol i always just skip to the fighting bit… idk how familiar you are w genshin but they have like story quests right and i generally just ignore everything and just go around looking for people to fight lmaoo

thank you! its kinda crazy bc i slept like 4 hours the past 3 days but its the weekend now so im gonna catch up on some sleep hehe i hope you’re staying warm (if its cold where you are) and remember to drink lots of water & stay safe!! also its always always okay for you to send in as many asks as you like, i love talking to you 🥰

[land-of-brains-and-chocolate]

god it WILL NOT stop bothering me until i talk about it. the way we got here. it’s not just about the book anymore, not at all, and it’s certainly never been about “shipping”, at this point it’s how helpless the tactics of the guy make me feel.

step one: refer to people who have read previous venom books and noticed the trend throughout the nineties to portray eddie and the symbiote as a man and an agender alien in an ambiguously or not-so-ambiguously romantic relationship, which was picked up on and completely unambiguously canonised in the very last run, consistently refer to these people as “shippers”, lovingly condescend to them, do not ever treat “the ship” as existing beyond their imagination

[I LOVE THAT YOU GUYS EXIST]

result: make people forget that this is a complete misrepresentation and he has received no criticism whatsoever for “not making a ship canon” because that is not what he did, he decanonised it and then denied doing so and painted everyone it ever meant something to as essentially deluded - and, considering that that’s all they are, he’s being awfully kind and accommodating, isn’t he?

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step two: actively seek out these no-good shippers on tumblr! tell them that you’re watching them! read their detailed posts in which they express their grievances about your comic book to their friends and misrepresent their points on your twitter so your bajillion followers can affirm that Those People are categorically wrong about everything!

[EDDIE IS CODEPENDENT]

people are mad at him because he said eddie was codependent! not because he’s reframing the extremely rare story of a troubled queer relationship that was ultimately still a redemptive force in these characters’ lives as an unhealthy compulsion that corrupts, hm, what a fresh and unfamiliar take, no reason why this would strike a nerve - and, recently, of course, as something inherently abusive, every bit of hope and change for the better vile and fake.

literally just start vaguing about people’s personal tumblr blogs on your professional twitter account with the little, little blue checkmark and everything, use that to make passive-aggressive references to people’s posts! why not!

[LOVE EACH OTHER]

people talk about how they like a symbiote and its host getting along (and they did, that very night, talk quite a lot about ngozi)? that is so dumb and lame.

[EVERYTHING IS AWESOME]

people get sick of edgy shock factor writing that throws one dark theme after another at them without treating any of them with the consideration they deserve? people expect some moments of levity in a venom book?

they’re asking for stories with no conflict where nothing bad ever happens! but it’s okay, he knows better, he knows you just don’t know what you want! it’s not like endless sadness is just as likely to be dreadfully boring or unintentionally hilarious as endless happiness!

result: o w n e d god he sure is shutting down every point no one has ever made

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step three: literally get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only boil their opinions down to THE SHIIIIP but literally say that their opinions don’t matter because they literally would never say it “to your face” literally because it’s “easy to be brave on tumblr”

literally

say these words

[IT’S EASY TO BE BRAVE ON TUMBLR]

call people chicken shits for NOT talking to you directly! and then! BLOCK everybody who talks to you directly! or quote retweet them so your followers can descend like vultures! actually acknowledge that it takes bravery to interact with you if you’re in the Tumblr Demographic, you know, one of Those People, and frame yourself as in the right for it???

am i losing my mind???

[SIX PEOPLE ON TUMBLR]

get so mad at people on tumblr talking about your comic that you not only claim they’re the only people ever to talk badly of it but imply that you’re one step away from namedropping the specific perpetrators. that’s not ominous at all!

it’s an age-old question: how many times does one of marvel’s top writers with legions of fans have to imply his antagonistic awareness of your specific existence before you’re on a first name basis? and also paranoid?

result: stir shit. be a shit stirrer. faint when your shit stirring does in fact stir shit. you can’t go “you would never” and be surprised when people do, you... can’t...

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step four: whip out your ally card... to whip the people you’re supposed to be allied to with it. try to use your knowledge of queer issues to shut down actual queer people.

[I DON’T THINK IT’S APPROPRIATE TO ASSUME GENDER]

either that, or straight-up make a “did you just assume my gender” joke. i can’t find the original tweet anymore, so it’s possible it was that and he deleted it because it was too blatant, lol.

result: MAYBE YOU GUYS WERE THE PROBLEMATIC ONES ALL ALONG

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes!

step five: remember that interview where he outright stated that he just wants to, just to be the definite venom run? just to put the biggest dent in canon he can? just to break everybody’s toys and emerge victorious as the one person with the valid take on venom?

yeah, those things become more noticeable in the actual book, over time, and acceptance of that is, uh, not universal? not everybody’s up for him spending several issues in a row on e s t a b l i s h i n g  d o m i n a n c e by having eddie sit around as other characters tell him that a ton of stuff other writers from michelinie to thompson to costa to kaminski to slott to jenkins have done actually sucked and was wrong and fake and never happened? through retcons that make no sense, like, factually don’t fit?

people don’t like you walking back character and relationship development to further your end goal of recasting the symbiote as the personification of addiction and abuse instead of itself a survivor of extreme abuse who has been constantly denied personhood in a way that is frighteningly resonant and who has been going through a genuine redemption arc for years now?

people don’t like you acting like eddie never had a reason for being who he is before and you had to make one up? one that doesn’t fit the character at all, which you didn’t realise because you apparently thought the character had no characterisation before you came along?

you can imagine how these things might spark nerd rage?

and you can probably imagine who this nerd rage was blamed on, yeah?

these criticisms inherently require knowledge of venom canon, because they’re largely about disrespect for it, these criticisms are not related to shipping of any kind - but of course the only thing people could possibly be mad about is the "ship", the only ones making a fuss are those “shippers”, those casuals, Those People who only care about One Thing and don’t understand the real gritty reality of the, god you get it i’m making fun

[I KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT]

you’re the only one, don. it’s true.

and i know, i know for a fact, that he’s been aware of criticism from other groups all along, that he was, for example, witness to this livestream that spends like a solid hour a month mercilessly dragging him through the dirt, and you know what the extent of his response was?

thanks for checking the book out.

that’s it. that’s all. this guy hasn’t gotten any less loud about criticising him, either. wishing for his book’s cancellation and retconning. but nothing more. he gets to keep to himself. he is #valid.

people have been taking the piss out of him on youtube, on reddit. only tumblr ever earned his ire. only tumblr gets namedropped at convention panels.

and now, now more than ever? you better believe your regular run-of-the-mill nerds, straight, male, utterly uninterested in the icky stuff, everything, are mad. almost everyone who’s truly tits deep in venom lore is mad.

and so he’s said he’s received threats. and i’m sure he has. i’ve received threats. you’ve received threats. it’s never okay. it sure as shit never helps to send them.

he’s gotten a lot of fucking inappropriate personal vitriol! lots of it actually “ship”-related! i’m categorically against contacting the guy for any reason!

but who is to blame? who do people accept as being to blame? who do news outlets report on as being to blame? when, i presume, not every single one of them actually went “i’m doing this specifically because i’m a (thunder clap) shipper”? when large-scale retcons are literally always met with nerd rage? when a shipper-less fandom probably still would’ve had threats?

[THIS IS INSANE]

[IT’S THE SHIPPERS]

result: if all criticism = “shippers”, and “shippers” = harassment, then everyone who has no actual idea of what’s going on but who doesn’t like “shippers” is automatically on his side and nobody who isn’t a “shipper” wants to risk the association by criticising him.

get this stuff out to his followers, to news outlets, to people completely uninvolved and contextless, and watch the bile run over everywhere because lots of people are ready to accept this narrative in comic book spaces.

have people in the replies and comments eagerly discussing how this is more proof that c+o+m+i+c+s+gate was right and they’re the only reasonable ones. how disgusting and crazy "shippers” are. how donny should keep doing his best to trigger the gays. there’s no pushback against these ideas.

and i’m so fucking stuck between wanting to defend the man, wring my hands and apologise on behalf of the other These People, because i don’t see anything justifiable in their actions, and in being... just... just so frustrated... with everything... with throwing everyone out to the dogs... and claiming that he doesn’t mean to... when he has this whole history of belittling "shippers” specifically... of making sure their public image is that of people who just don’t know what they’re talking about and are in no way worth empathising with... of only drawing attention to the aggressive ones and blocking the reasonable ones

when he literally only stands to benefit from doing all this. 

this is massive amounts of free positive pr.

this makes him essentially immune to criticism of any kind.

evaluation: a reason to harass him? no! really kind of manipulative? yes! 

i forgot! somewhere along the line, he did do something very good and disavowed association with co/mics/ga/te!

[C0M1C5G8]

why the fuck am i censoring? tumblr search stopped working decades ago.

anyway, it should come as no particular surprise why these people assumed he would side with them. not that any high profile writer who values his standing would, really. are there any? maybe there are, i’m not up to date on this drama.

i just think it’s funny - genuinely not his fault, but hilarious - that this was apparently enough to inspire a “boycott”? and it was a fart in the wind?

which is the least surprising thing ever because there is actually nothing whatsoever to hold these people’s ire to be found in venom? excluding aliens, there has been one real and present character who isn’t a white guy in 11 issues? it is actively less queer than it was before? donny has never caved to the essjaywoo pressure in any way, shape or form? what were they... thinking? it’s almost like these people are dumb?

all they've done is ensure that, without it actually doing anything, venom gets the commendation for being A Comic The Gators Don't Like?

anyway.

what do we do moving forward? i don’t know. nothing. not harassing anyone. keep being salty on tumblr. do not engage him. i think i’m more about stalling the chain reaction he’s caused than the man himself. if you’re not a “shipper”, of course, keep posting your criticism, maybe stand up for “shippers” who are being dogpiled over genuine criticism, don’t let people say This Is All Proof Of How You Can’t Have Queer Content Because Queers Are Crazy.

and be nice to mike costa.

[xtswifts]

i owe nobody any sort of explanation as to why i’ve sent in my unfollow to the main, but because this was the first group where i ever felt truly at home in a group and the first group where i ever put down roots, so to speak, i just want to leave this here just in case you’re curious

first off, it’s never been my intention to let my taylor lag or be inconsistent or go so sporadically inactive — i personally hate that, i don’t like the feeling of it and i feel like for me, when it comes to muse, that never helps (the only cure to writer’s block is to write through it), and i’m really sorry to people that i’ve maybe left hanging or anything of the sort. i love playing taylor, i love taylor in general (which is not news, lmao) and getting to write for her here has been so wonderful. fame’s been like home for me for over a year now, which is crazy, because i never thought i’d be able to stay in a group beyond 3 months, whether that was because i just lost my muse or because the group closed. i joined here on a whim thinking i’d never stay beyond a few weeks because i’d get lost in the shuffle, i wouldn’t be able to connect with anyone, etc. obviously that wasn’t the case. i spent one of the hardest years of my life in this group, after the loss of my grandma and terrible school/work experiences that drained the life out of me and feeling like my life had somewhat become a black hole. this was the place where i came online to escape myself and the world around me, where i could shake my anxiety and connect with people and have fun while flexing those creative muscles. i’ve met incredible people, had the best laughs and threads and connections ic and ooc, and i couldn’t have asked for a better playground. i’m thankful for what this group gave me. but there comes a time when you get restless and home starts to not feel like your home anymore and you’ve gotta pull a gabriella montez & go your own way.

the truth is that while i had an incredibly hard year, i also had an incredibly busy year (and am looking down the barrel of another busy year this year too, with student teaching and everything) and i am the biggest proponent that real life will always take precedence. if you’ve ever written with me you know that my famous last words are “there’s no rush! take your time! i’ll be here when you get back!” but as life has gotten busier, i feel like for me, the vibe of this place isn’t that same sentiment. this is a massive, massive group, where i personally feel like if you aren’t on/tuned in 24/7, you miss out and you do get left behind. no one’s at fault for this, i’m not trying to blame anyone individually or anything like that because #not my style and it’s #not true, that’s just my own personal pace not really coinciding with that of the group’s as a whole. i used to really love the fact this group was so big, too, because it meant you could explore, find your people, branch out as you pleased, but now the size of the group is more overwhelming than promising to me and that’s not my taste. every time i log on to taylor now, i feel disoriented and lost in the shuffle and i don’t know where to begin with her. i came very, very close to leaving back in mid-june because i was burned out to the point where the mere thought of logging on and doing replies that i had 0 passion or enthusiasm behind felt like a chore and i didn’t want to deal with that. it still feels like a chore. i caught a second wind of muse in early july but it died pretty quickly, and even on the cusp of lover, i don’t think that i have anything else to give to this group. within the last six months, i personally feel like the priorities and standards here have shifted in a direction that doesn’t align with my muse or just who i am as a writer/roleplayer. groups have to evolve and change as time goes on, that’s expected, it’s how they survive. the group’s evolved and changed in the year that i’ve joined and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it doesn’t feel like the group that i joined over a year ago and it’s no longer the right fit for me. i used to tell myself to suck it up, get online and put the effort in, because that’s how you make things last and what you do when you love something, but i’m at a point now where i just don’t feel fulfilled coming online and writing in this group. again, that’s not saying that “no one wanted to plot with me” or that “i was ignored” because that literally could not be further from the truth, i have always felt so welcomed here by muns and never struggled to amass plots for taylor. i think that if you’re willing to meet people halfway, you’ll get what you want, and i have. i’m not afraid to put in the effort and i’ve had that reciprocated in spades. groups change and evolve but so do writers, and i refuse to stay in an environment where i’m plateauing. the reasons to leave outweigh the reasons to stay at this point; my real life takes the front seat over trying to revive a muse, it’s not healthy for my creativity, i feel like i’m stifling myself by sticking around in order to protect the development i’ve put into my taylor over the last year in which i’m incredibly proud of and attached to. why keep trying to strike a match you know is dead? it’s not fair to me, and it’s definitely not fair to anybody else who wants to try their hand at playing her here. rp is supposed to be fun, guys gals and nb pals. it might feel tedious at times when you have to sift through a bajillion replies, but it shouldn’t ever feel like another chore or to-do. 

i really hope that whoever picks up taylor here next makes her their own and takes her all the places i didn’t get around to, or places i never could’ve thought of myself. i’ve asked the main to wipe my taylor’s history because i don’t want to dump that on someone, and frankly, i don’t want someone to take hold of what i worked really hard on creating for her. if for some reason you want to keep in touch ooc, just drop me a dm and i’m happy to swap social media handles with ‘ya! 

i’ll see some of you on down the road in other groups, i’m sure, but whether we do or don’t, i hope all of your writing endeavors treat you well no matter where it is you go. lovelovelove

shifty swifty (and caroline) out. xx

[startofamoment]

that’s rough, buddy

Jake’s always had a complicated relationship with fire.

(A character study of sorts on firebender!Jake.)

Hi everyone! Welcome to this incredibly self-indulgent thing, in which I mash together my primary obsession of years past with my current reason for living. (Nevermind that they don’t intuitively mesh well. We’re just going to say that Brooklyn is kind of like Korra-era’s Republic City and call it good.)

An anon had asked me ages ago whether I had any headcanons on what type of bender each person in the squad would be. I hadn’t felt inspired to write an actual fic for this AU until the super talented @microfroggo took on my silly pitch to draw our boi Jake as a firebender a couple months ago. Because tumblr is tumblr, I’ll include the relevant links in a separate reblog down below – def check out Mikko’s work if you’re at all interested in getting something done!

PS: I should probably mention that I don’t do very much to explain the Avatar-related side of this AU. If you’re unfamiliar with the animated series, I’d recommend at least skimming through the wiki page so you get a basic understanding on the different forms of bending. (And honestly, if you have time, GO BINGE-WATCH A:TLA! I promise, you won’t regret it.)

PPS: FMA:B fans out there will note that I’ve included a little nod to everyone’s favorite Flame Alchemist… Because, yes, this is definitely just a gratuitous homage to all my hyperfixations. I’m sorry. (Not sorry.)

“That’s it. Use your breath, son.”

Jake inhales deeply then exhales, focusing intently on the small flame between his hands. He’s supposed to be making sure that it doesn’t blaze wildly or just die in the wind.

He’s done this particular exercise a bajillion times now. (Or maybe less – Mrs. Stratton did mention that he needed to work on his math.) Still, his dad says it’s very important to practice his control. Jake supposes that’s fair, given that it’s only been a few months since he nearly singed Nana’s eyebrows off while blowing out the candles on his blue birthday cake.

What he really wants to do is skip forward to launching fire missiles with his fists or propelling himself through the sky on flaming jets, exactly like he’s seen it done in the movies. But his dad says he’s got a long way to go before he can attempt anything more than a basic fire stream, so Jake just nods and does what he’s told. He’ll become a firebending master eventually.

Truthfully, though, Jake thinks that maybe if his dad weren’t working or golfing so much, maybe they’d get to train more often, and maybe he’d be able to progress to something other than breathing.

The funny thing is: when his dad officially walks out of his life, despite all of their training, Jake’s not sure he even still knows how to breathe.

--- 

 His mom’s an airbender, and Nana’s an airbender, and Gina and her mom are airbenders. So Jake wants to be an airbender. (If only it worked that way.) 

He’s unfortunately stuck as a firebender, with no one to teach him how to actually firebend, so he has to resort to copying the Ninja Lion-Turtles on TV. Raphael’s naturally his favorite, although he can’t make heads or tails of how to replicate his fire daggers.

He almost never experiments with bending at home, of course. He’s not the brightest, but he at least knows how dangerous it would be for one of his attempts to go wrong without anyone around to help extinguish the fire. On the rare instance that his mom isn’t at her multiple jobs, she lets him practice while she paints ceramics or cooks. She’s only had to run in with a bucket of water once, but, well– once is enough.

And yes, he could technically be enrolled in lessons… but that would cost money, and Jake would really rather have a full belly than a proper fighting stance. His mom is overworked and overwhelmed as it is; he couldn’t possibly ask her to look into registration fees at the local dojo.

 ---

 Occasionally, when he’s alone in the park with Gina, he’ll run through the few basic exercises he remembers then attempt some fire-jabs and kicks. He’s not supposed to, but he’s fairly certain that nothing will catch on fire in an open field and that, on the off chance that anything does, a patrol officer will handle it. Gina doesn’t mind at all and usually just uses the time to meditate. 

It’s on one particular trip to the park that it happens. He’s not even sure how he does it, just knows that he goes from buzzing from the inside out to shooting electricity from his fingertips. He lifts his hand up in wonder, trying to get a closer glimpse at the little iridescent bolts. He’s so enraptured that he doesn’t realize where his other hand is pointing. He doesn’t see the string of lightning hurtling straight toward his best friend.

Everything turns out fine in the end. The blast wasn’t strong enough – he isn’t strong enough –  to fatally wound her, but Gina still gets brought straight to the hospital.

“I’m okay, Jake,” she insists with a huff, waving off his umpteenth apology. “Besides, I swear I met Raava in the two seconds your lightning hit me. Did you know she’d be ethnically ambiguous? The scrolls have not done her justice at all.”

Jake chuckles, accepting the jello cup she offers him.

For the most part, he’s glad that she’s fine and that she apparently met the Avatar Spirit and that she still likes him enough to give him her dessert.

Deep down, he feels terrible. He’s never going to lightningbend again.

 ---

 Jake had assumed that he’d find his path in college and know what to do by the end of it. Instead, he’s a new graduate back in his childhood bedroom, freeloading off of his mom for as long as she’ll let him. He’s really just coasting through life and going through the motions, aimless.

Eventually, his clarity comes – not in a spark, but in a short-circuit fire erupting just a few houses away. 

He’s woken up by loud sirens blaring and screams echoing in the night. He acts on instinct, running out before remembering to put shoes on and running into the blaze without a second thought. The ground should be blistering hot beneath his feet, but he doesn’t notice at all. He keeps going until he’s parting walls of flames, ushering the family of nonbenders to safety.

In the thick smoke rising from the still-burning house, he sees destruction. In his hands, for the first time in a long time, he sees something good.

He thinks that maybe he should join the local fire department, that he should use his bending to help control and extinguish rogue flames. He thinks about it, and then thinks about it some more, and then figures that he probably wouldn’t enjoy the constant reminder of how devastating fire can be.

Months after mulling over it, he finally comes to a decision: “Mom? I think I’m going to sign up for the police academy.”

“That sounds like a great idea, honey,” she replies, pulling him into a tight embrace. “I’m so proud of you.”

 ---

 It’s rough because all the other trainees have been honing their bending for years, whereas he’d been spending most of his life trying to restrain the inferno inside him.

Most of them laugh; one of them actually slams him against the lockers and calls him a “sorry excuse for a firebender.”

“Don’t mind him,” a voice says. “He wouldn’t know a good bender if the Avatar kicked him straight into the Spirit World.”

Jake looks up from where he’s slumped on the ground and recognizes her as the fierce metalbender no one’s been able to talk to all week. There’s a distinctive scar through her right eyebrow, and he wonders whether it came from a freak accident. (He also wonders how she got into the men’s locker room, or how she knew he needed somebody, anybody.)  

“I’m Rosa,” she says, reaching out a hand to help him up. “Wanna spar?”

 ---

 He gets better. 

He trains with any firebender that’ll take him on, watches instructional videos, goes on Yahoo! Answers… Soon enough, he’s wielding whirling discs and shooting comets of fire like the best of them.

The only thing he doesn’t even consider attempting is lightningbending. At least not until he’s in his thirties, watching wide-eyed as his new captain generates a cracking stream of electricity out of nothing. It’s just strong enough to stun the escaped convict they’ve been tailing, no real damage done.

“You want me to teach you how to lightningbend,” Holt says without preamble the next day.

Jake opens and closes his mouth dumbly, feeling thoroughly seen and not quite knowing how to respond.

“Before anything, Peralta, I should let you know that not everyone is able to manipulate lightning. It takes a different level of power and a certain kind of–”

“I can do it,” he interrupts quickly. “I’ve done it before, sir, when I was a kid. I just don’t know how to control it.”

Holt regards him for a long moment before nodding. “We start at seven tomorrow.”

 ---

 Jake’s always thought that fire meant power and aggression and pursuit. Instead, it’s weakness when he’s face to face with particularly-skilled waterbenders – those who can render him useless, temporarily buried within thick sheets of ice; or who send downpours of unrelenting, freezing rain over his head.

(He thinks, as Amy smirks and bends a rapid torrent of water toward his sternum, flinging him halfway across the training room, that he’s weak for her in a different way.)

 ---

 It had never occurred to him to measure the intensity of his flame. He’s always figured that the fire he produced was hot enough – hot enough to take down perps, hot enough to never turn the heat on in his apartment, hot enough to discreetly keep Amy’s coffee warm throughout the morning. (If she’s noticed him repeatedly finding excuses to pick up her mug, she hasn’t said anything about it.)

Charles, of all people, makes him check. “Hey Jake, do you know if you can keep a flame constant at say 350 to 425 degrees Fahrenheit?”

Jake turns away from his computer screen to look at him, his brow scrunched together in confusion. “Why?”

“I was thinking of doing an open-fire roast for the precinct’s Turkey Day dinner this year.”

“Boyle, you want me to firebend our main course?”

“It would make me so happy.”

Noting zero sarcasm in his response, Jake shrugs then swivels his chair back to his desk. “Okay, yeah– But ask Gina if we can book the training room for this. I’m not firebending a turkey in my apartment.”

 ---

 It turns out that being a walking furnace really does have its perks. Or at least that’s what Jake realizes as Amy burrows into his side, pressing her nose into the crook of his neck.

“You’re warm,” she mumbles sleepily, exhausted from the day’s departmentally-mandated sparring practice and the just-as-steamy bedroom activities that followed.

(It had to have been well over their thousandth time facing off in the precinct gym, both of them familiar enough with each other that they could anticipate nearly all of their attacks… Except he really could never have foreseen Amy’s final move: completely disarming him, not with a tidal wave but with a kiss.)

“Warm?” he scoffs teasingly. “I think you mean hot.”

She groans loudly but cuddles closer to him still, her smile burning against his bare skin.

 ---

 He gets thrown for a loop when their major serial murder case boils down to a ring of firebenders, all stuck in their old way of thinking.  

“You’re not them,” Amy reminds him, running a gentle but steady hand down his back.

I could be, he thinks. Because even now – especially now – in the calm silence of the evidence lockup, he can feel the sheer power thrumming beneath his skin. All it would take is for him to get too angry or too drunk or too anything, and the worst could happen.

“You’re a good person, Jake,” she says, her tone more firm than before. “You always have been.”

He swallows thickly and nods, letting her pull him into a long embrace.

 ---

 If there’s one thing he’s wished he could do with his firebending, it’s healing. He’s watched Amy do it countless of times, stepping up as the precinct’s unofficial healer whenever necessary. He’s felt the soothing power of it himself – cool water coaxing at his skin, repairing everything from a black eye to a bloody nose to a stiff back.

Right now, watching the love of his life start to bleed out before his eyes… He’s never felt more helpless.

“Damn it!” Jake yells, pushing his jacket into her side, willing the bleeding to stop. With the shooter knocked out and cuffed in the corner, he’s finally free to assess the damage. “When is the ambulance going to get there? You need a healer, now! ”

“J-Jake,” she chokes out, bringing a shaky hand to his clenched fist. “F-f-fire c-can cauter-r-rize.”

He lets out a sharp gasp, his eyes wide with shock. “You want me to burn you?!” He shakes his head vehemently. “No, Amy, no. It’s too dangerous. I could kill you–”

“Y-you won’t,” she says, her voice barely above a whisper. The open trust in her eyes makes him want to sob. “Jake.”

“Okay,” he says, wiping hot tears with the back of his hand. “Okay.”

 ---

 “Can you do the twinkling lights again, Uncle Jake? Pleeaaase?”

It’s bedtime at the Jeffords household, and two little girls are decidedly not asleep.

“Please, Uncle Jake? Aunt Amy? One last story and the twinkling lights?”

He meets Amy’s gaze and raises an eyebrow. She shrugs, her lips curling into a smile. “I suppose just one short book wouldn’t hurt. Right, Jake?”

He hums, feigning thought while glancing at the clock. “We might have just enough time before your daddy and mommy get back.”

Cagney and Lacey cheer as he switches off their bedside lamp, and then watch with glee as he fills their room with dozens of tiny, carefully-placed flames. He makes them flicker with a precise movement of his hands, makes them float like fireflies in the night sky.

The twins fall asleep soon enough, lulled by the soft tone of Amy’s voice and the amber glow of the lights.

Sometimes Jake forgets how enchanting fire can be.

 ---

 Yet again, he’s at the mercy of a waterbender.

This time, it’s his daughter, only two-weeks-old and somehow already able to cause ripples and waves as she moves a tiny hand through the warm water in her tub. She lacks any real control, which is perhaps the biggest problem.

“Amy!” he calls out, equal parts awed and panicked. There’s nothing much he can do right now, apart from maybe distracting the baby with a dancing flame. (Not that he’d allow her anywhere near fire, at least not yet.)  

 ---

 “I’m going to be a waterbender like Mommy,” his son declares one day, with all the confidence of a child that’s crossed the jungle gym for the first time. He’s a little older than most kids are when they start bending, but it’s too early to be concerned about it; he could just be a late bloomer. (Granted, it wouldn’t matter if he didn’t start bending at all. They’d love him just the same if he were a nonbender.)

“How about firebending?” Jake jests lightly, feeling a bit wounded but also kind of relieved.

“Hmm, maybe,” Max shrugs, before running off again to play.  

Of course, of course, when the boy eventually does start bending, it’s a scorching stream of fire that bursts from his small outstretched fist. He’d been mimicking the probenders they’d seen on TV the day before, copying their fighting stances down to a tee.

Jake meets his eyes and sees the same mixture of fear and amazement he’s come to know so well. He quickly takes control of the wild flame, tamping it down to a low ember before gently passing it back to his son.

Max nurses the glowing warmth between his two palms, staring at it in fierce concentration. It flares too-strong for a moment, then recedes but doesn’t fizzle out.

Jake nods at him and smiles, pride blossoming in his chest.

“That’s it. Use your breath, son.”

[borisbubbles]

Eurovision 2010s: 150 - 146

150. O’G3NE - “Lights and shadows” The Netherlands 2017

[2017 review here]

My love for O’G3NE has tempered itself into a very strong ‘like’, but I still think they have a lot of heart. Their song is a tribute to their dying mother and well, I’m not made of stone.😭 It’s a touching premise and they exectute it very well. However, my personal favourite thing about “Lights and shadows” is of course NOT the classiness, but the lyrics, which appear to be pilfered straight form a dr. Seuss book. The text is FILLED with literal translations of common Dutch idioms and silly middle school rhymes <3 “You’ve been going through these stages // Now it’s time to turn the pages”.❤ It all feels so overhwelming Dutch First Language / English Second Language, and since I love the Dutch almost as much as I love talking crap about them, I can’t help to be charmed. 🤗 ________________________________________________________________

149. Can Bonomo - “Love me back” Turkey 2012

Ah the rare Turkish entry, we must better show some care for they are a rare entity in this decade. 

That said, “Love me back” is utter trash <3333333 It’s one of those party songs that only exists to point and laugh at, but Can executes it in style. Drunken sailor anthem <3 From the caped corsairs that accompany him and turn into an impromptu vessel-

-to Can himself who endlessly bleats on in his ovine voice <3 It’s definitely one of those entries that is a bit too silly to take seriously as a song, but is unashamedly entertaining all the same. 🤗 COME BACK!!! (um once you stopped being homophobic, in 2070)

CONGRATZ TO MANGA FOR BEING THE HIGHEST RANKED TURKISH ENTRY. 🎉

________________________________________________________________

148. Blue - “I can” United Kingdom 2011

Let me open by pointing out it took seven people to come up with this brilliant chorus: 

I CAN I WILL I KNOW I CAN ~Untie these hands~

What on earth are they singing about? 

Enter what is perhaps the most comically egotistical performance ever, at Eurovision? I mean, the entire concept behind “I Can” was “Hi. 😘 We’re Blue. 😘 You May Have Heard Of Us. 😘 VOTE FOR OUR TRASHY BROMOEROTIC BOYBAND ASSES!! 😘😘” 

Which of course, led to what I deem a pretty enjoyable trashfest. 🤭 Love the short-lived storyline of the UK trying to breathe new life into their Eurovision Journey by recruiting all these stars beyond their prime (Blue, and later Engelbert and Bonnie), and they all did much worse than expected <3

Blue are the best of the three however because they were actually delightfully messy. Naturally, this being 2011, nearly everyone was trashy, but Blue elevate it to an art. The text, as I said, is just jibberish <3 The song is heavily Lee-centric and Lee was hilariously terrible on the night,

(I’m sure the song is just a 3 minute casting tape for his BBUK stint)

-and the staging was a hackneyed, selfie-backdropped self-indulgence. 😍  You know, I make it sound as if I dislike Blue but I love ironically them for the aforementioned reasons. 2011-2012 were not the most enjoyable editions for me, so anyone screwing themselves over with cartoonish level incompetence made the experience less unbearable to me. Thank you Blue, for providing me with a lot of schadenfreude and for being an entry I can trashtalk without wishing death on them and myself. Time to leave the ranking though~

CONGRATZ TO LUCY FOR BEING THE HIGHEST RANKED UK ENTRY! 🎉

________________________________________________________________

147. Saara Aalto - “Monsters” Finland 2018

[2018 Review here]

GOD I WANTED TO LOVE SAARA. Smash hit dance track with an anti-depression and self-empowerment theme <3 INSTANT LOVE. That a pristine gay unicorn such as Saara Aalto fronts it makes it even better.  However, the live left a lot to be desired. Ugh, it’s very frustrating when a song as good as “Monsters” develops a bad case of Anggun Syndrome and derails itself with overexaggerated staging. As a viewer, you are already expected to pay attention to the music, the message and Saara herself, all three of which are excellent and praiseworthy. DO WE REALLY need a bajillion of mediocre staging gimmicks (a spinning platfrom *and* hot dancers *and* shrill backings *and* a flare *and* a death drop* at the end?). It just spoils the broth for me. 

Overall though, my feelings hinge more towards “LOVE” than “DISAPPOINTMENT”. Like I said, “Monsters” is a great song and I think 25th place is just plain ridiculous (she should’ve finished 15th place, at LEAST). Saara being spat out by the fandom like she was should count as a CRIME... but not as big a crime as her staging was...x

______________________________________________________________

146. Hannah - “Straight into love” Slovenia 2013

We are definitely in *that* zone of the ranking where the “Enjoyably bad” lurk. While, “Straight into love” is a mere 7 on the Fusedmarc scale but it’s a hilarious dubstep mess. Hannah’s voice ALONE is a nuclear catastrophe <3 Only entry in Eurovision to feature MORE disaster notes than good notes <3 She even wrote the song herself, yes, that’s right, she can’t even sing *her own composition* 😂 ROTFLMAO. DECEASED. But wait, there is more!!! Of course, I cannot ignore the act of “Straight Into Love” which is legitimately good. 

Hannah flanking herself with hot ‘human centipede-esque’ dancers because she knows her voice isn’t going to cut it, so she goes STRAIGHT INTO (gay) LUST <3 Strategic mistressmind. After Eurovision, Hannah would then move on to write "Round and round”, making her the author of a last placer AND a second last placer. WE STAN OUR COMMITED FLOP QUEEN!