Me: what I'm totally neurotypical idk what you're talking about-
The the little annoying voice inside my head that I argue with for fun: Remember that summer after eighth grade where you watched How to Train Your Dragon four times every single day for two months and by the time summer was over you could quote the entire goddamn movie by heart?
Me: what that didn't- This is Berk, it's twelve days north of hopeless and a few degrees south of freezing to death. It is located solidly on the meridian of mis-
Imagine if you will. Post Vecna, Steve and Eddie have been circling each other like vultures all summer, but neither one of them will do anything about it because Steve is convinced the minute he does, he will Fuck It Up the way he always does, and Eddie is just waiting for the day Steve gets another thump on the head and realizes he's been wasting his time with the Town Freak.
Yeah, they flirt. Of course Eddie flirts , but Steve isn't as stupid as people think he is. He knows that Eddie is just Like That, right? Sure, Eddie smiles at him in that way he does, throws his arm around Steve's shoulder, grabs his hand and drags him around like it's completely and totally normal to just hold your bros hand like that because of course it is. Why wouldn't it? Entirely pushing away the fact that it's like he can feel Eddie's fingers, the cool metal of his rings catching against Steve's palm even after he's let go. Like a phantom limb that itches and itches and no matter how hard he tries to ignore it, he knows he'll never actually get any relief.
Robin holds his hand all the time, so Steve tells himself it doesn't actually mean anything.
Because it can't.
Until one night in August when the temperatures are so high and the air is so humid you can practically drink it, and Eddie's invited himself to spend the night because, "What are rich friends for if not to steal their air conditioning. Plus look at me, Stevie! I'm practically melting."
"I was gonna go with poodle that got electrocuted, but yeah...melted works too, Munson."
Steve ignores the fact that Eddie's grin, the way he smiles so big, sometimes it's like those pretty doe eyes of his complete disappear. How something so fucking adorable could also make him feel like there are splinters in his heart, Steve doesn't know.
He's just going to chalk it up to the Munson Effect and just pretend like he doesn't feel a little like dying later when Steve is in the ensuite brushing his teeth, and if he's been hiding in here for the last ten minutes or so probably brushing the fucking enamal off his teeth, that's between him, God, and his dentist, okay?
It's not like Eddie hasn't spent the night before. Most of the time, they pass out stoned on the couch before they ever make it to an actual bed. But tonight, after three joints and a four hour movie marathon, Steve's back could not take another night on the couch bending his spine in the most obscene ways just to avoid accidentally cuddling the shit out of Eddie like his hindbrain seems to always be screaming at him to.
Eddie had simply shrugged, grinned, and followed him upstairs without comment or complaint.
And that's why Steve is having a breakdown in front of his sink right now, because he just doesn't think Sleepy Steve can be trusted not to complete lose his fucking mind.
Not when Eddie is out there in his room, sprawled on his bed because Steve had been left shaking his head and sighing when he'd watched the metalhead take a running leap and belly flop onto Steve's hideous comforter.
("Gingham should be made illegal just for your sake, Stevie. This is just cruel and unusual punishment, man.")
But it's fine. He's fine. He's in on the joke, he gets it.
Until he finally feels steady enough to open the bathroom door to see Eddie exactly in the position Steve'd thought he'd be.
Only suddenly everything is very much Not A Joke, because, yeah, of course he'd told Eddie he could borrow some pajamas, because Eddie never remembers to bring his own.
He's just not sure how his old letterman jacket counts as, you know, that.
Just like he knows that Eddie is going to take one look at his face right now, because basically it feels like someone's reached inside and cut one of his fucking wires or something, and know.
A normal person would probably say something, but Steve has buckets of brain damage he can blame for what he does next, thankfully,because in the span of, like thirty seconds, Steve finds himself practically on top of Eddie, hands on either side of the guy's absolutely ridiculous curls.
Of course, now that some oxygen has apparently made its way around to some of his braincells, Steve realizes how fucked up it is that he's just tackled Eddie liked this and oh my god how the fuck is he going to explain this when the only true explanation he has is just, "I want to fuck you so bad I think I've actually made myself dumber."
"Thank fucking christ, Harrington. I thought about, you know, just the jacket and nothing else but it seemed a little too on-the-nose, so I--"
There is a split second of pure, blind panic because what the fuck what the fuck oh my god he said all of that out loud?
"Wow, I really did make you lose some of those precious braincells of yours. You think if you fuck me tonight, you'll get them back? Like...reverse osmosis or some--"
Steve decides to just go ahead and shove his tongue in Eddie's mouth before either one of them can say anything else to screw it up.
Because god knows he's fucking waited long enough.
They both have, apparently.
drive-in movie (part two)
content: extreme smut. p in v sex, cunnilingus, spitting, swearing, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it), steve being cute as always 18+ READERS ONLY
read part one here
steve harrington x reader (with she/her pronouns)
have a fic idea? send it my way and i shall write it for you
she ran to the window to wave to her boyfriend one last time before he drove away. it sounded tacky, but when she was away from him, she missed him, even if she had just seen him.
she put her pajamas on and took off her favorite necklace that steve gifted her for her birthday last year. she kept it on her bedside table and laid on the frame of a picture of them when they took a trip to the beach back in last summer.
she went to bed dreaming about a potential future with steve, as she did every night.
she woke to her mother quietly knocking on her door.
"sorry to wake you, sweetie, wanting to let you know your father and i are going into the city and won't be back until Tuesday night. you're more than welcome to join us if you like," she smiled.
she stirred more awake now at the fact that she will be alone for two days, "hmmm, i think i'll stay here. thanks for the invite though."
"i figured you'd say no, but it would be rude if we didn't invite you, go back to sleep, we will see you in four days," she blew her daughter a kiss as she smiled to flip over and go back to sleep for a few hours.
when she woke a few hours later, it was still mid-morning. she did her typical morning stretch as she remembered that she was alone for a few days. which means, steve could stay with you for the remainder of your parent's trip.
you flipped over to reach the phone to call steve, who was probably already at work.
"family video this is steve, how can i help you today?"
"i'll never get tired of calling you here and hearing your cute work voice," she twirled the phone cord in her hand.
"i'll never get tired of you calling here and bringing my mood up," steve said through the other line.
"so, i have real good news. my parents are going away for two days and i have the entire house to myself, which means... no one could ruin the mood," she clenched her thighs just thinking about being alone with him.
"oh yeah?" he questioned.
"just get done as soon as you can, and bring a movie for us to watch."
"Harrington! You better not be taking personal calls on that phone! It's for business purposes only," she heard his boss, Keith, in the background giving him shit, once again.
"Fuck, babe, I gotta go. I'll see you tonight, I love you!" he hangs up fast before she could respond.
She bit down on her lip and hopped out of bed to open her window to let the warm summer air in. She flipped through her countless records and picked one to put on while she showered. She hummed the tune of Kate Bush's "Running Up That Hill" as she massaged shampoo and conditioner in her hair.
She loved the feeling of being alone when her parents were gone, especially in the summer. The weather was nice (for the most part), it was quiet in the neighborhood, she could do whatever she wanted by having the music loud, and the best part: having steve sleepover.
Sure, there would be times when he would sneak up into her room but he found it quite difficult to climb up to the second floor using the small ladder for plants, but he managed.
She wrapped a purple towel around her body and put wrapped her hair in another as she sat on her bed to paint her toenails, softly humming to the music.
Throughout the day, she cleaned the house to make sure that it was perfect for Steve. Sure, Steve has been in her home plenty of times when it was dirty, but he was a guest that was staying over the night (or more). She ran to the grocery store to grab snacks for the movie and then made it back in time to expect steve.
right as expected, he pulled into her driveway at 6:30 on the dot. she couldn't wait any longer to kiss her man. she ran out without shoes on to greet him. he wasn't expecting her when she jumped into his arms after he locked his car doors.
"woah! hey there," she cut him off with a kiss, "what was that for?"
"what? a girl can't be happy to see her boyfriend?"
"of course, but you couldn't wait five seconds for me to get into the house?"
she shook her head, planting one more wet kiss on his lips before jumping off of him.
"what movie did you bring?" she asked, walking up the steps to her front door.
"movies," he emphasized on the plural, "got the fly, ferris bueller's day off, the breakfast club and friday the 13th."
"a variety," she responds.
"well yeah, you love horror and comedy had to please my girl in more ways than one," he smacked her ass as she opened the front door.
she turned around and locked the door. when she turned back, steve pushed right up against her, instantly wrapping her arms around his shoulders.
"what do you wanna do now?" she asked.
he lifted her up so she could wrap her legs around his waist, "i can think of a few things I wanna do," he kissed her passionately.
she held on tight as he took her upstairs and slammed her door shut with his leg. he placed her softly on the bed slipping her shorts and panties off first. he kneeled down on the carpet and moved her legs to rest on his shoulders as he admired her pussy. her fingers comb through his hair as he starts kissing up her thighs, finally reaching the point where she needs his mouth the most. he licks a stripe up her hole to her clit and begins sucking on her bundle of nerves.
She let out a loud sigh as her climax will building... fast.
"steve.. steve, stop I'm gonna come, fuck," her mouth gaped open, not really wanting him to stop as she pushed his mouth on her clit harder. He inserted two fingers just to tease her, which actually broke her. her moans got louder and louder as she reached her high. she tried her best to close her legs, only for steve to pry them open as her clit became too sensitive. he left her clit with a pop and kissed his way up to her lips. she could taste herself as he licked his way into her mouth. her hands pushed down his pants and underwear to feel his fully erect cock.
"so needy for me," she took control.
"mhmm..." he said. she wasn't even sure he knew what she was saying as his eyes were closed as he continued to kiss her. she lined himself up with her entrance and whispered to him to put himself inside of her. she groaned into his ear... he knew he hit the spot that drove her crazy.
he wasn't going to last long as her moans filled his ears whenever he thrust all the way inside her. her moans were music to his ears. she reminded him constantly that it was only him that could ever make her feel this way.
"keep going... keep going... oh steve!!" she said.
those words could have him busting in seconds, but he needed to hold out so she could come first.
she felt his cock balls deep inside her as she felt her second orgasm of the evening coming on. her nails scrape his bare back as their clothes were excluded at some point of their assault on each other.
he grabbed her mouth and pinched her lips for her to open them as he spit into her mouth, she groaned at how much more she was turned on from that.
he had never done that and was a bit afraid she wouldn't like it, but he was mistaken. beads of sweat form on their foreheads, but disappeared when they put their foreheads together.
"please tell me you're about to come, because, i don't think i'll be able to last any longer,"
"come in me steve, please baby." she mentally thanked God that she was on the pill.
he let out a long moan, as did she, as they came together. he collapsed on her chest as she massaged his back. his breath hit her chest as the two of them stayed connected for a while.
since they were sweaty, they decided to take a "quick" shower, even though they ended up fucking a few more times in there.
"i'm starving," she fell onto the large soft couch in the living room and turn on the tv, flipping through the channels hoping to find something good to watch.
"want me to call and order some pizza?" steve asked as he reached for the phone.
"ugh, yes. pepperoni please?"
"anything for you, sweetie," he said.
he quickly ordered and the two of you, after a careful decision, started with a scary movie.
when you got comfortable underneath the warm blanket, the doorbell rang as the pizza has arrived.
the rest of the evening consisted of heavy makeout sessions, pizza eating, cuddling, jump scares and laughs.
half & half.
taglist: @steveharringtonswifey09 @starkeysmp4 @mannstarkey @readingbcimlonely
Last night was a complete haze for you, you couldn't even process it because you had to get up to work. Work was going like usual, customer after customer.
You were pretty much a like zombie trying to get through work. You hadn't even drank a single cup of coffee and you felt like you were there. You couldn't even think straight because of your head pounding.
You didn't get much sleep last night; there was too much going on in your head. JJ, Rafe, Sarah, the Pogues, your job, college. Your mind was on a loop until the early morning. Summer was supposed to be relaxing and right now, it felt like anything but relaxing.
When you were finally done at the country club at 4:30 pm, you glad took your leave and started driving home. These past few nights have been insanely eventful and you just wanted some time alone.
You came home, ate, showered (and shaved), lathered your skin up in your favorite lotion and topped it all off with a cute pink night set you got. You went into bed and sighed at the warm feeling, turning on your TV and turned on your LEDs.
You turned on your comfort show and watched for about five minutes before, almost comically, someone knocked on your window.
You wanted to face palm yourself. You almost thought you misheard it until you heard it again. Of course the universe wouldn't let you have on peaceful night.
You put on your slippers and went to the window. You weren't completely surprised to see JJ standing there, an apologetic look on his face.
You opened the window to let him in and you stood there, arms crossed as he closed the window after him. You both stood there in silence for a few seconds before he spoke up.
"I wanted come here and say I'm sorry." JJ finally spoke up, his voice barely above a whisper. "I said things I shouldn't have and I know I hurt you, but I am sorry. It won't happen again." He looked like a hurt puppy, looking up at you.
"No, it's not. When Pope said you were going to apologize-"
He stopped and thought for a second, "Shit. Uh..."
"I'll deal with Pope another time." You felt like an overworked mother with four annoying little brats you had to deal with. "Continue."
"I'm sorry, Y/N. I just say stupid shit when I'm angry."
"Yeah you do." She said flatly, as JJ pursed his lips tightly. You let out a sigh, "do you really think I nag you?"
JJ looked a deer caught in headlights before shaking his head slowly.
"Be honest, JJ."
"Sometimes. I mean you act more like my mother than my sister sometimes and yeah, it does get a little annoying..."
You wanted to get angry but you couldn't. This is healthy communication, you kept repeating in your head.
JJ noticed your silence, "I still love you though. I know you mean well."
Your lips moved upwards slightly into a small smile. "I love you, too."
JJ smiled at you, realizing he had finally gotten on your good side once again.
You opened your arms for a hug and he gladly walked up to you, embracing you tightly. He basked in your warmth and your familiar perfume; you hadn't changed your signature smell since freshman year.
"I don't know what I'm going to do with you, Y/N/N. How am I going to survive?"
"I'll still be with you in spirit, JJ." You guys separated. "And you can always call or Facetime, I'm not dead."
He laughed. "Yeah, but it's still not going to be the same."
You shook your head, "Let's not think about this now, okay?"
He nodded slightly, a smile still evident on his tanned face.
"You wanna watch a movie?"
Rafe had been in his room all day trying to figure what his feelings meant. He has never been so conflicted in his entire life, especially over feelings towards a girl.
Well, he wouldn't call you just a girl. If someone asked him a month ago how he felt about you, that about sums it up. You were just a girl to him but that all changed the night you had found him on that beach.
No one has ever done anything so selfless for him. You could've left him there on the beach and he wouldn't have even remembered it. But you went out of your way to help him. Not only help him, but actually take care of him.
The day after you had saved him, he woke up and he just looked at you for a few minutes, trying to process how everything that had happened. He'd only just remember the last few hours of the night, the rest was a blur.
The only thing that stuck out to him was his newfound feelings. When he looked at you, his heart felt like it was going to jump out of his body in the best way imaginable as he remembered the night before.
He never looked at you the same after that day. You weren't just a girl; you weren't just one of Sarah's friends anymore, you were more than that now. And that scared Rafe.
He'd never felt that way about anyone in a while. He was sure that he'd never felt this way ever because of how foreign it felt.
When he saw you downtown that night when that man was bothering you, it was like a instinct to go and help you. He had to make sure nothing happened to you now, because you were his savior. It wasn't even about owing it to you, it was just what felt most natural to him.
He had never been more confused. Did he like you? And if he did, how would he be able to show it without coming off weird? His mind raced, what was he going to do about you?
✨ stranger things fic rec pt 1 ✨
part 2 | part 3
mostly steddie with some ronance/fruity four/platonic stobin sprinkled in. heed the ratings, there's a healthy amount of smut.
fics in this installment: 65
fics in total: 196
as per usual:
-all fics are in alphabetical order
-please tell me if the links are broken/linked wrong
more fic recs
my own works
and, as always, please leave kudos and comments, and reblog this post!
'86 baby - T, 2.5k, 1/1, complete
Eddie is finally graduating and is prepared to walk up to Principal Higgins, flip him the bird, and snatch his diploma.
Steve doesn't know any of this is about to go down and is just proudly waiting for his boyfriend to graduate.
"Steve Harrington Corrupted By Eddie Munson - Sounds like a Hawkins Headline" - E, 7.5k, 1/1
"Harrington, what the hell are you thinking about down there?"
Steve grins up at the ceiling, languid and sated. He feels so fucking good. Every muscle in his body is relaxed, practically turning him into a melted puddle in the middle of Eddie's trailer. The carpet underneath him is soft and plush, and maybe a little outdated, but Steve swears he could sleep here for an entire year. He runs his open palms along the shag, letting out a contented noise - somewhere between a hum and a moan.
"God, you're so fucking high," Eddie says.
(you're my) bone to pick - E, 2.6k, 1/1
Kinktober Day 30: Pet Play
“How about this?” he says into the top of Steve’s head. “I’m gonna go get our food, and you stay here–” Steve cuts him off with a whine, and the hand running through his hair suddenly grips him firmly. “You’re going to stay here and get out of your work clothes. And then when I get home, if you’ve been a good boy, I’ll put your collar on.”
Any remaining tension seeps from Steve’s body fast enough to leave him feeling a bit lightheaded. He chances a glance up to see Eddie smirking softly down at him, eyes knowing as he watches Steve already beginning to slip into that headspace at the mere mention of his collar.
“That’s what I thought,” he says quietly before kissing Steve’s forehead. “Alright, up we go. I’ll be back in fifteen minutes.”
4B - T, 4k, 1/1
One of them is in college, Josh and Maisie are pretty sure, at Emerson. The other three work an odd variety of hours. They have a large amount of makeshift weapons littered where anyone can grab them, they’re all covered in scars, and whenever the lights in the hallway flicker they jump about three feet in the air.
Or, the kids that live in apartment 4B are weird.
5 times someone noticed Steve and Eddie and 1 time everyone noticed - G, 6/6
5 times somebody notices Steve and Eddie being completely and irrevocably in love and 1 time everyone notices
A Bad Day - T, 6.3k, 1/1
Steve’s friends don’t know he’s struggling and he reaches his breaking point
Steve has a very bad day and someone’s there to help
A Bracelet - G, 2.6k, 1/1
Steve is making a bracelet for Eddie and he really hopes his boyfriend will like it.
a criminal like me (and a princess like you) - T, 3.3k, 1/1
When Eddie comes into Family Video on one hot, boring summer day in Hawkins, long after the danger has passed and things have gotten back to normal, the last thing he expected was for Steve to invite him over his place to watch The Breakfast Club.
And the last thing either of them expected was what came after the movie.
a lunchbox full of drugs and pretzels - G, 606, 1/1
Eddie gets an actual lunch instead of just pretzels.
A Quiet (distracting) Morning - N/A, 1k, 1/1
A sweet rainy morning between Eddie and Steve as Eddie prepares for the next session of his campaign. Sweetness ensues.
A Secret World, My Secret Love - M, 6/6
Steve curses everything that led him here. Here being stuck in a Russian elevator, he was supposed to be with his fucking boyfriend tonight.
In other words, Steve's been dating Eddie for a bit, and he really wishes Dustin wasn't quite so curious.
Eddie has no clue what's going on, his boyfriend has been beat to hell and maybe drugged, and every word someone says just adds more confusion.-In other words, Eddie loves his boyfriend, but he really, really needs someone to tell him what the fuck is going on.
ahoy there - E, 7.4k, 1/1
“Alright, Munson, let’s hear it,” Steve says, beckoning at Eddie. “Do your worst.”
Eddie blinks at him a few times, hiding half his face in his drink as he eyes Steve from head to toe. Everything about Eddie is intense, and the way he looks at Steve right now is no exception. Blatant and interested and heated.
Steve shudders at the look, so direct it feels like a physical touch, but he doesn’t back down.
Eventually Eddie smiles at him, wide and playful, and asks, “So when do you set sail, big boy?”
all at once it feels so right - M, 3.7k, 1/1
Robin has never kissed anyone and is terrified of doing it wrong. Steve and Eddie both offer to give their best friend a (completely platonic) kiss to show her it's not so bad, but it ends up being too weird, and too funny of a situation for them.
Nancy ends up being the one to help Robin out.
Steve realizes that he might still be hurt over how his relationship with Nancy ended, and feels just a bit overprotective over Robin.
Eddie helps Steve.
All I Ask - M, 8.2k, 1/1
Eddie will not stop calling Steve silly little pet names, which is really not helping the massive crush he has on him. He gets super flustered whenever he does it and makes a bit of a fool of himself in the process. Thankfully Eddie seems to like him anyway.
always a lonely boy (cry, boy, cry) - T, 2/2
If Steve got called an asshole one more time Robin would lose her actual mind. This was her official warning. The last chance everyone got to clear their fucking act before she snapped.
(Boy, did she snap.)
OR: Robin is sick of everyone putting Steve down and calling him an asshole (Steve was sick too but in a different way). She finally snaps when she has to comfort him after a breakdown.
Amantium irae amoris integratio est - T, 2.7k, 1/1
Eddie and Steve didn't fight. It wasn't an official rule they'd written down somewhere, stuck on the fridge between the chore chart and the grocery list. Yet by a certain point, it simply felt like a rule of the universe, the ones that governed space and time and held together the sun and moon and stars.
Max allowed that to comfort her; coming home every day to Steve and Eddie's at most playful bickering allowed her to find solid land when everything around her was spinning out of control.
Naturally, when she heard the shouting, her stomach turned to lead.
And I'm Sorry I Left, But It Was For The Best (Thought It Never Felt Right) - T, 3k, 1/1
“Oh darling, what’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” Questioned the curly haired man, and Steve wishes he could put it into words what’s going on in his head right now.
“Can I braid your hair?” He asks instead, and he expects to get questioned more or for Eddie to try and keep them on topic, but that isn’t at all the reality that he is faced with right now. Instead, Eddie smiles so softly and filled with nothing but understanding as he nods his head in silent agreement because he knows how Steve’s mind works.
- - -
“Tommy called me today, he wanted to try and be friends again.”
- - -
Steve pauses and smiles softly before he answers. “For loving me.” Is the response that he gets, and Eddie’s gaze softens into something filled with pure unadulterated love that he holds for the man sitting pretty on the couch in front of him. The corners of his mouth twitch upwards as he responds.
“You never need to thank me for that. I do it happily, lovely.”
- - -
aka: steve having a bad day and eddie is a wonderful partner
Babygirl and Sunshine - T, 2.7k, 1/1
He squatted next to the bush, giving Eddie a good view of his thighs. "Anyway, why are you in a bush?"
"Henderson thinks you have a girlfriend, and we're all spying to see if you meet up with her during your morning jog," Eddie explained.
The Party thinks Steve has a girlfriend. Little do they know, the "girlfriend" is actually a boy. And that boy is Eddie Munson.
Back to the Light - T, 2.7k, 1/1
Dustin has a terrible nightmare about that night and there's only one place he can think to go: Steve's.
Backer? I Hardly Know Her! - T, 1k, 1/1
"'I quit dealing illegal shit,' Eddie says. 'Now I just get alcohol and backer for high school kids who want to party a bit.'
Eddie looks at Steve like he’s stupid. 'The shit that goes in cigarettes? I know you’ve been clocked in the head a lot, but you’re not that dumb, sweetheart.'
Rude, Steve thinks to himself, then says, 'Do you mean tobacco?'
'Yeah. Backer.' Eddie has the beginnings of a shit-eating grin on his face."
AKA an incredibly niche fic in which Steve and Eddie compare their accents. (you don't need to read the first work in the series to read this one)
Bad Timing and a Good Audience - T, 5.1k, 1/1
After an enlightening conversation, Chrissy finds out Eddie likes Steve. Steve also finds out. Robin is just along for the ride.
be my baby ( never half & always whole. ) - G, 3.4k, 1/1
“Don’t need you choking on your own vomit in case you throw up,” Eddie says softly, and Steve thinks he hears an underlying tone of pain somewhere in there.
“Mm ‘kay,” Steve mumbles, gazing up at Eddie through half-lidded eyes. The blurriness is starting to subside a little bit, but not all that much.
Eddie sits down next to him, his back resting against Steve’s headboard. “How are you feeling?” Eddie asks, voice soft as he looks down at Steve. His hair is curlier, frizzier, even. “Your hair looks so curly,” Steve says, curbing Eddie’s question completely. A shocked laugh is ripped from Eddie’s throat, looking down at Steve in bewilderment. “I like it when you laugh,” Steve tacks on, before Eddie can say anything in rebuttal to him.
A rose blush dusts over Eddie’s cheeks. He shifts where he sits. He clears his throat, “you do?” He asks. Steve nods, a dopey look of his own falling across his face. “Yeah, ‘s loud…Like you, like you own the whole room when you laugh.”
or, a party at Steve's soon turns into something much softer.
besides all the glamour (all we got was bruised) - M, 9.6k, 1/1
He knew, through rumors and jokes and the literal handcuffs hanging on his wall that Eddie liked things rough. Probably liked his partners rough and strong and durable in a way Steve hadn’t been since the first time he swung a baseball bat full of rusty nails at a monster from an alternate dimension. Since Jonathan and Billy and several unnamed Russian officers had each taken a turn at making mincemeat of his face. Since chipped teeth and concussions and broken bone after broken bone. For all his bravado, for all the time he spent chasing down demons and play-acting a hero, he knew the second Eddie laid his hands on him, he would crumble, and he just couldn’t live with the shame of having his chance and ruining it because he couldn’t keep up.
Or, the one in which Eddie Munson lives and Steve Harrington learns that it’s okay to want.
but yours has just begun - E, 1.3k, 1/1
The plates rattle in the cabinets. The trailer's kitchen is glowing orange like fire while the sun tracks to the black edge of the horizon, and Steve can't dance for shit, always gets a little deer in the headlights when Eddie tries to hip chuck him into it. Slow, Steve puts his hands up high on Eddie's waist and tries to move with him, clumsy as shit but earnest, and Jesus Christ, Eddie wants to keep this guy snug in his pocket and feed him kitchen scraps. Get him a collar. Tug.
Calamity's Child - T, 3.6k, 1/1
It’s 10:15 on a Sunday morning, and Steve is on Eddie Munson’s couch.
More specifically: Steve is on Eddie Munson’s couch, in his boxer shorts and a shirt that's clearly been slept in, eating dry cereal out of the box and blinking slowly at the TV, which is currently playing WWF. His hair is more of a mess than Dustin has ever seen it outside of literal fights to the death. Eddie himself is nowhere to be seen.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Dustin demands, dropping his backpack just inside the door.
Candle in a Window on a Cold Dark Winter's Night - G, 6/6
Five times Steve (and Eddie) spontaneously come out and one time they plan it.
come lie with me and let silence treat us kindly - T, 3.6k, 1/1
Eddie learns that sometimes Steve will just lie down on the floor and simply exist while the world around him continues. The Party know that, call it "floor time", and generally leave him be until Steve is ready to be back. Eddie doesn't mind, because it offers him even more opportunities to just look at him. To watch him.
That is, until Eddie himself is in dire need of just lying down and letting the floor work its apparent magic. It's a good thing, he finds, that Steve understands him without as many words and is very ready to just take care of him. Eddie might be a little bit in love, actually.
Or: In which they lie on the floor and take care of each other, falling in love somewhere along the way between music and silence.
Come up for air, you pull me to the floor - E, 2.2k, 1/1
He looked like cogs were spinning in his head, his gaze locked on Steve and weighted with longing. Steve raised an eyebrow and opened his mouth to speak but was cut off as Eddie’s expression shifted towards a grin; wide and wolffish.
“Y’know, it’s not every day I get to see Steve Harrington on his knees in front of me.”
His voice had deepened, words followed with a low approving whistle.
“And my, my, my; what a view.”
Contact - T, 1.3k, 1/1
AU where it’s still 1986 but everything is normal.
Steve and Eddie run and hide from Jason & his goons under the high school bleachers.
Critical Hit - E, 7.1k, 1/1
Steve shows up to play DnD.
Eddie decides Steve can stay. IF 'King Steve' recognizes the real lord and master of Hellfire.
Dee - N/A, 731, 1/1
“Close your eyes.”
“What was that now, Stevie?”
“You heard me! Close ‘em!”
Dirty Laundry - T, 4.3k, 1/1
Eddie is excited for Steve to attend a Corroded Coffin gig for the first time, even if it includes fighting off other guys who want to hit on Steve.
Disarmed - T, 1.5k, 1/1
When Robin and Steve volunteer to drive Murray back to Illinois, he may have met his match, a case he finally can't crack.
Or, Murray tries to break down Robin and Steve's "relationship", but it's more of a challenge.
don't make me regret this, dingus - G, 1.7k, 1/1
The King of Hawkins High takes the Weirdest Girl in Hawkins to prom
Don't Tell Steve - T, 3.9k. 1/1
Fourth of July is just around the corner, and Eddie’s determined to make it the perfect day for everyone. The best way to do that is to give the kids their own fireworks display, but the only way to do that is to keep his boyfriend calm, cool, and collected. Can’t be too difficult, right?
Double Date at the Haunted Corn Maze - T, 2.8k, 1/1
It’s Friday night and instead of having a double date to the midnight showing of Evil Dead, Steve was standing in line for the annual Hawkins Haunted Corn Maze.
Drive Me Crazy - T, 1.7k, 1/1
"You sure know how to drive a guy crazy Steve-O."
Steve and Eddie make out in the Staff Room at Family Video and get to be happy
Dying for Another Taste - N/A, 7.3k, 1/1
Eddie likes to think he’s not an overly judgmental person. He prefers to take his time and fully learn someone before deciding anything about them. It’s the same grace he wishes Hawkins and all her judgmental residents had given him before writing him off as the freak. But whatever, that doesn’t matter. He’ll still give them the benefit of the doubt first, even the ones who shouldn’t get it.
The most notable exception to that is one Steve Harrington.
Or, Eddie finally learns about what the Russians did to Steve and Robin.
End of Beginning - T, series
“This is dedicated to my husband, who, at the beginning, only ever heard the shitty versions of these songs and still believed in me anyway.”
The crowd roars, and Steve hears a couple of their Chicago friends near the stage boo in jest. Eddie narrows his eyes at them and laughs.
Steve looks around at this bar that their family has shared so many memories in - he tries and fails to not let his heart overflow at the sight of so many people coming to see Eddie play in the same bar that housed empty gigs not that long ago.
He wills himself not to cry.
Eddie wins a Grammy, finishes an album and comes home for a secret gig - and in the arms of their old haunt, Steve surprises him.
Family is Built, not Born - N/A, 3.7k, 1/1
When an argument between Steve and his father ends badly, he turns to his boyfriend for support, but instead finds Wayne, who turns out to not be half bad.
feel the magic (there's something that drives me wild) - T, 1.8k, 1/1
Robin is drunk and not for the first time wishes she could fall in love with Steve Harrington. Wishes she was 'normal'.
It’s dumb, really dumb, that she still wants to crow to the whole of Hawkins High that she knows what Steve looks like in the morning, in his boxers, coming out of the shower. She still wants to be normal, and it stings sometimes so harshly she thinks she might cry, that she’s never going to swoon over Steve’s arms or his stupid hair.
Fight So Dirty (But You Love So Sweet) - E, 4.2k, 1/1
Eddie ties Steve up and marks up his chest before fucking him stupid.
First Timer - E, 2k, 1/1
Steve and Eddie do it for the first time
Forget About - M, 2k, 1/1
Eddie laughed. And Steve saw the light come back into his face.
The light was beautiful.
Steve and Eddie share a tender moment in the RV.
four walls - T, 2.5k, 1/1
“You got a lotta stuff,” Steve remarks, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room, arms behind his back.
Eddie’s cheeks grow red. “Yeah, stuff just sorta piles up in here,” he takes a seat at the edge of his bed. “I don’t remember the last time I’ve done any kind of deep cleaning around here so, sorry for the mess.”
“No, no — it’s fine, man, it’s cool. Your room’s cool. I like it,” Steve reassures.
steve, eddie, and home
Fragile (Handle With Care) - E, series
All it takes is getting dragged to one Corroded Coffin concert for Steve’s life to change forever. Now he has to find a way to navigate a newfound romance with his famous soulmate while dealing with his complicated past and mothering a pack of preteen pups.
full time daddy, white and gold - E, 1.4k, 1/1
“You think we finally knocked you up?”
The words take a second to register in Steve’s post-orgasm haze, but then…
get you back (by my side) - T, 3.9k, 1/1
Eddie hasn't spoken to Gareth and the others since whatever went down with Chrissy Cunningham, now Gareth sees him playing basketball with Steve Harrington and a bunch of kids, what the fuck is going on?
Sinclair sighs longingly.
“Okay, man, I can get behind you on the sweet and salty,” says Gareth, “but New Coke?”
“He was crazy for it,” says Harrington, grinning all fond at the back of Sinclair’s head like he’s retelling the story of his toddler’s foray into the world of art and talking Gareth through all the monstrosities in pride of place on the fridge. “Weird kid.”
Eddie is smiling at the side of Harrington’s face and Jesus Christ, Gareth never wants to meet another gay man in his whole life if their taste is Steve fucking Harrington.
get you wild, make you leave ( a little much for everyone. ) - G, 3.2k, 1/1
“Hey,” he murmurs, slowly sitting up. Eddie whips his head to look in Steve’s direction, eyes wide and wild. He looks scared. “What’s up?” Steve whispers, more than ready to help. Eddie just shakes his head, his arms wrapped tightly around his torso. Steve glances over at the clock, barely able to see the big hand pointed at the six, and the little hand pointed at two.
“It’s two thirty, Munson. Did you have a nightmare?” Steve asks inquisitively.
And finally, Eddie opens his mouth to speak. “No,” comes his defensive reply, but Steve sees right through him.
or, it's movie night at the Wheeler's, but Steve's got something in store for him.
Getting Eddie Munson to graduate, and other acts of herosim - M, 7/7
It had only been about two weeks since Vecna and their trip to the upside down and everything had just… gone back to normal. As it always did. Life went on. The kids went back to school, he and Robin went back to work, Nancy and Jonathon were getting ready for college and Eddie…
Apparently, no one thought to check in on Eddie.
Recovering from first-time exposure wasn't easy, especially not when your return meant trying to graduate high school for the third time, so Steve decides he's going to do whatever it takes to help Eddie Munson graduate, even if it means re-learning 12th grade U.S History, and learning some things about himself along the way.
Good Dog - E, 7.8k, 1/1
Eddie calls Steve a "golden retriever boyfriend." Steve likes that a little more than he probably should.
Aka: Eddie calls Steve a good girl ❤
Handcuffs and Pleasant Surprises - E, 5k, 1/1
Steve accidentally handcuffs himself to Eddie's bed. It might be the best day of Eddie's life.
Happy Birthday, Will Byers. - T, 2.4k, 1/1
“You forgot Will’s birthday?!”
The look on Steve’s face is nothing short of flabbergasted, and Eddie can’t exactly blame him. El and Mike are staring back at them with wide, guilty eyes and he would never touch a hair on El’s head but he kind of wants to backhand Wheeler.
“We only just moved to California and it was very difficult,” El continues, tears welling in her giant, brown eyes. “He is like my brother and I would like to make it up to him.”
“Yeah,” Mike chimes in, gesturing at El with his thumb. “It was kind of distracting when El knocked a girl in the head with a roller skate.”
All three of them glare at Mike. El opens and closes her mouth a few times, apparently at a loss for words. Eddie takes an aggressive step forward. He’s never hit a kid but if he were going to it would be Wheeler, definitely.
Before he can speak his mind, Steve steps between them, coming to the rescue (which is so very him that it makes Eddie’s chest ache). “Okay!” He claps his hands and rolls up his shirt sleeves. “Here’s what we’re gonna do.”
have yourself a merry little christmas (far away from a hallmark card) - E, 9/9
Steve Harrington hates Christmas. Not in a Scrooge-y, Grinch-y way, but in a "my parents are never home for holidays" way. Eddie notices and worries.
He Can Handle It - T, 2.4k, 1/1
His parents weren’t supposed to be back for another four days, they didn’t come home early unless something happened. The last time they’d come home early was when the "earthquakes" happened, but they didn’t come home because they were worried. No, they came home because since he had been missing he was considered a suspect of murder. His parents had been furious, demanding to know why he was careless enough to let the family name be tarnished by his actions. Almost an exact replica of what they’d said the time before when they came home early because Steve had gotten suspended for getting in a fist fight with Billy Hargrove during basketball practice.
This time though there wasn’t a fight with Billy Hargrove. There wasn’t an "earthquake". There wasn’t anything other than the fact that for the past nine months he had been dating Eddie Munson.
Steve knows they know. He doesn’t know how but they know.
Steve's parents find out that he's dating Eddie. He doesn't know how they found out but he can't take it anymore. He doesn't care what they think or what they do. Whatever happens, he can handle it.
Head Over Heels - T, 3.5k, 1/1
Vecna is gone. Highschool is over. Everything seems to be back on track for Eddie and Steve. But with Halloween just around the corner, what harm can a little relaxing do?
hideout series - E, series
steve and eddie fall in love pre-season two. steve keeps eddie away from the whole upside down mess, but of course he gets involved eventually. it was inevitable.
home - G, 2.6k, 1/1
Eddie was well aware that his ideas of romance were vastly different from that of the general population. Metal, for one-- super romantic music in Eddie's opinion.
His partner showing up to a metal festival after a twelve hour shift teaching/babysitting a bunch of five year olds, not even changed or showered from his day, covered in paint that he was never going to get out of his favorite sweater vest? The most romantic thing Eddie could think of.
Home (Music Box) - G, 1.7k, 1/1
Steve Harrington hated hospitals with a burning passion. Smoldering, if you will.
But here he was, Hawkins Memorial Hospital, sitting in one of the stiff waiting room chairs next to Wayne Munson, waiting for Eddie to be discharged.
(Not that that needed a medal or a pat on the back, because that’s the bare fucking minimum, and he damn well knows it.)
Home Is Where The Heart Is - E, 3.8k, 1/1
It feels like it's been a much more hectic day than it actually has. Steve has just worked himself up into a tizzy. The list of stuff he wants to get done before Eddie gets home is long, and he wants, no, needs everything to be perfect. Eddie's had a long day, and he deserves to come home to a clean home and dinner on the table. So Steve bustles from one end of the trailer to the other trying to get as much done as he can. He still has laundry to fold, and the floor could honestly use another going-over with the vacuum, but Eddie is due home any moment, so it's time to check on dinner.
(Or, Eddie figures out Steve maybe has a thing for being his good little housewife and indulges him like a good, sweet boyfriend)
honey, when you warm the bed on wednesday - G, 1.4k, 1/1
Slowly, Steve pulls his gaze from their joined hands to look into Eddie’s eyes. The usual deep brown of his eyes has caught the light just so and it has shifted the shade to a gorgeous amber that almost makes Eddie choke remembering how to breathe.
Holy shit, isn’t he the most beautiful man.
hopelessly devoted (to you) - T, 8.8k, 1/1
In Miami, on vacation with his parents, Steve meets Eddie. So what if he doesn't get a last name or a phone number, it was a summer fling and they had a great month together. He doesn't realise it was Eddie fucking Munson until the guy has a broken bottle to his neck and they're about to go face interdimensional aliens together. Steve doesn't know when his life became a very fucked up and non-musical version of Grease.
Robin’s lips twitch. “And it was just a summer fling?”
He narrows his eyes at her. “What?”
“You’re such a hopeless romantic, Steve. Sometimes I don’t know what to do with you.” He must look as confused as he feels because she laughs and says, “Dude, you like sighed his name, you’re so done for.”
“Shut up. It’s not like I’m ever going to see him again, is it? I’m never even going to hear his name again. It was a summer fling and that’s all.”
Hours and Hours - E, 7k, 1/1
“My tats turning you on that much, huh?” Eddie jokes.
“All of you,” Steve whispers, “So handsome.”
Eddie’s breath hitches and he wraps his arms around Steve’s neck, bringing their bodies flush together. It sends a buzz thrumming underneath Steve’s skin.
“Talkin’ like that’s gonna get you in trouble,” Eddie’s voice is lower now, thick with something Steve hopes (knows) is love.
Steve’s hands haven’t stopped moving. “What kinda trouble,” He murmurs into Eddie’s ear, pulling their hips together.
“The kind where I keep you here and make love to you for hours.”
housing a wanted fugitive never looked so good - G, 2.6k, 1/1
Dustin needs to find Eddie Munson, to help prove his innocence, and fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, he goes to Steve.
Steve, who knows exactly where Eddie is.
“Did you see what was on the news?” Robin asked, disturbing Steve from his reverie, as Dustin and Max hurried up to the counter.
“That’s exactly what we’re here about.” Dustin replied, hopping the counter, barely giving Steve enough time to brush a stack of VHS tapes out of his way.
“We need to find Eddie,” Max supplied, giving Steve a look.
How Do I Get You Alone? - T, 5.1k, 1/1
Dustin rolls his eyes and pushes off of the counter. "Your shift's almost over, right? Wanna hang out?"
Steve scoops up the fallen movies. "I would, but I've got plans. Me and Eddie are meeting up at the diner."
"Oh, that's cool. I'll just come with you."
Steve pauses his work and looks over his shoulder at Dustin. He's got a pinched look on his face, like he's thinking something over. Dustin knows that can be a real struggle for him.
"Uh... I don't... I don't know if that's a good idea."
5 times Dustin accidentally crashes a steddie date (+ 1 time Steve crashes a Hellfire Club meeting)
Whatever labels I use, However old I am, wherever I live, it doesn’t matter. Inside I will always be the eight year old girl who grabbed the Fellowship of the ring from the cabinet where my Dad kept all of his books and read the entire trilogy in two weeks.
I will always be the eleven year old girl who carried The two towers around so much and read is so frequently that despite it being a hardback, the back fell off and some of the pages fell out and I lost the cover somewhere.
Every now and again, I return to the time when I first read through the hobbit and cried my eyes out when Thorin died and every time since then that I read through the book and it never stopped the tears.
I bought the first edition re-release of the hobbit not too long ago, with ilustrations and such a lovely cover. I spent my food money for that week on it. It was worth it.
Whenever I listen to the Shire theme song from the movies that shaped my teens, I always cry so hard with the longing for home, despite the fact that I’m sitting on my own bed in the flat where I grew up in.
It’s so hard to put all my thoughts into words, honestly. I’ve never been able to do it justice, yet my Pure love for it seeped into my words enough so that I made four of my friends read it, just so they could go through that rolecoaster of emotions I described.
I rewatched the movies with my friend this summer. We just sat in his flat for the entire time, we talked and ate some food and we watched. We made fun of some of the parts and we both were at the Edge of our seats when the Battles were happening. Even if we had to split it into two days because I got a migraine, I still look at that experience and am so fucking happy about it.
This book series, these movies, they gave me something nothing since was able to replicate. And I’ve read a lot of books, watched hundreds of movies, series and played loads of games. Nothing comes close.
The people of that world are close to my heart. It was a huge part of my childhood, my teens, it shaped me as a person and I can never be thankful enough for it.
The love portrayed, whether I see it as platonic or romantic, is there and it’s real and it’s the reason why I want to support my friends and the people around me as much as I can, it’s the reason I want to be a therapist.
Fucking hell man. I love The Lord of the Rings.
wrt your tags about eddie manhandling the kids ummm i am politely asking you to write a drabble about steve getting manhandled
I'm sorry I can't write a drabble about this.
Will an entire 5+1 fic do instead?
It’s not like the couch is even all that comfortable, not any more so than the ones at his own house, but something about sitting on Eddie’s couch, the lights turned low, the TV glimmering with something they chose for themselves, is just… comforting. Especially when Eddie lets him lean his head on his shoulder, when Steve is close enough to hear the steady thump-thump of Eddie’s heart and feel the soft heat of him under his cheek.
It had been about two months since they’d nearly lost him. Steve had brushed shoulders with death a few times since ‘83, but had never had to make the call to split the danger with someone. He’d never had to send someone to fight because he couldn’t. He’d never had to carry anyone home, bloody and broken and so, so still. The last time he’d even been at a hospital was for Will, and he hadn’t really known the kid back then.
It had been something else, sitting beside Eddie, and Max, not knowing if they would wake up. If he would spend the rest of his life worrying he’d let them spread themselves too thin, that he’d just gone along with the plan that had gotten them killed. In the desolate calm of hindsight, he’d tied himself in knots thinking of all the other ways this could have all gone.
But Eddie had opened his eyes four days later, and Max after a week, and they’d been out of there after a couple more weeks. Everyone had so far taken turns being a nuisance between their trailers – new ones for both of them, courtesy of the government – checking in on them, spending time with them. Sometimes Steve is over at Max’s, holding her Wonderwoman comics for her to read or letting her talk about the boys, and sometimes they meet in the middle and hang out in the yard on nice days or evenings.
And other times he finds himself right here, glued to Eddie’s side, watching a movie Robin had passed to him before he left for the night. Sometimes Eddie pays attention, other times he leans his head back against the couch and his face squinches up a little as he rides out the pain. Those times have become less as the wounds become scars, as the horror of their ordeal fades into the past.
Now, June had reared its head and with it the warmth of summer, nipping at the heels of spring’s chill, chasing off the reminder of the cold place where they’d nearly lost everything. Now Eddie’s smiles come easily again, and he even comes out on occasion. Eddie doesn’t comment when Steve falls asleep on his shoulder, peaceful in the knowledge that he had been on time, that Eddie was fine, that Max was across the street, that El had closed the gate that had sundered Eddie’s home and things are okay for a while.
“Hey,” Eddie mumbles, turning his head to touch his cheek to the crown of Steve’s head. He lets it rest there and so does Steve.
Steve makes some kind of noise that can be taken as a sign of life, and tries to drag his eyes open. He fails.
Eddie chuckles and the sound rumbles under Steve’s cheek and Steve’s answering smile feels like a wonderful contagion. “You still planning on going home?”
That drags Steve’s eyes open and he looks blearily at his watch. Eddie’s right. It’s late, and he should go home. He still needs to shower after work, especially since he opens tomorrow. He pulls reluctantly away from Eddie and stretches a little, yawning like a cat. When Eddie gets up beside him, Steve all but melts into the warm spot left behind, turning to gaze up at Eddie. The exasperated smile Eddie turns on him is so full of fondness it almost makes Steve guilty for not getting up with him.
“Gonna make me carry you?” Eddie asks, voice light.
Steve snorts. “As if you could,” he says, stifling another yawn. It’s so warm and nice here. He’d been sleeping so much better than he does at home. “You’d probably pop a stitch or something.”
“No more stitches,” Eddie reminds him, grin going devilish. “You think I can’t pick you up?”
Steve shrugs, knowing it will be infuriating to the other boy. He doesn’t really want Eddie to pick him up – he may not have stitches anymore, but Steve knows exactly how tender and fragile the wounds still feel, because he’s got his own – so he holds up his hands in a silent ask for reasonable assistance off the couch.
Eddie, eyes light with mischief, and Steve really should have expected the way he bypasses Steve’s hands and dives right for Steve’s armpits. Steve’s hands fly to grasp onto him, nearly shoving him away before he has to hold on tighter. Eddie hoists him straight up off the couch and rights him onto his feet.
Heat scratches at the back of Steve’s neck, flushes under his collar as they stand there a second, Steve still grasping too-tight at Eddie’s forearms, Eddie not moving until Steve actually straightens and proves he can stand on his own. Steve can’t breathe- he’s never been just- just picked up like that. Casually, if Eddie’s bright, shit-eating grin is anything to go by. Eddie hasn’t thought about it at all. He hadn’t even noticed the effort, if it had even been effort.
Steve lets out a shaky breath, and something like concern flickers across Eddie’s features a second before he withdraws his touch. “You okay? I didn’t hurt you, did I?”
“No,” Steve assures him quickly. Maybe ruined him a little, but he hadn’t hurt him. “I’m fine.” He forces a smile, all the sedation of sleep that had settled into his bones replaced by the electricity of adrenaline. “I should- I should get home.”
“Yeah,” Eddie says, slowly, but he walks Steve to the door, and he doesn’t ask questions.
And if Steve sits in his car for a few extra minutes, that’s his own business, and if he doesn’t stop wondering for a week if Eddie really could pick him up and carry him, well, that’s his own business, too.
Find the rest on AO3!
Nice Jewish Character Showdown 2023 - Round Two Eliminations
Another round has passed, one I'd liken to a bloodbath, and we're down to 8 competitors in the race for the NJCS 2023 title. Before the quarterfinal votes go live, let's check in with those disqualified contestants and discuss what makes them such Nice Jewish Characters.
Match One Elimination: Cristina Yang, Grey's Anatomy
Probably the most well-known Asian Jew in television, Cristina Yang is canonically Jewish, thanks to her step-father who raised her in it (her mother converted). Grey's has a weird relationship with Judaism, like a lot of medical dramas, but it definitely gets points for the rare and definitely appreciated look at how diverse the Jewish population is.
Match Two Elimination: Tevye, Fiddler on the Roof
It's the quintessential Jewish musical, it's one of the main reasons we've seen a shtetl-core resurgence, it's Fiddler! It was definitely the match-up of the dads this time around, and as much as I love this man, his success rate in reference to loving and supporting his daughters is, well... not a perfect score. Thank you Sholem Aleichem for the original stories, thank you Chaim Topol for your iconic portrayal in the movie, alongside Zero Mostel, Leonard Nimoy (yes, Nimoy played Tevye for a bit!), Alfred Molina, Harvey Fierstein, Danny Burstein, and many, many more. Nothing truly hits like being a Jew in the diaspora and watching Fiddler. Still bummed I haven't had a chance to see Yiddler, the Yiddish remount. (Oh, and Fiddler tends to be free on Youtube, so if you haven't seen it before -- or want to revisit Anatevka, treat yourself!)
Match Three Elimination: Rebecca Bunch, Crazy Ex Girlfriend
*hits top of a car* this baby can fit so many song titles from CEXG in it
When looking for representation, it can often feel like no one else is singing your song. Sure, there are the characters whose Judaism is restricted to reminding you that we've suffered, or who become props for some Christmas Special. But then we get a gem in the rough, a girl in love, a Jewish American Princess who moves across the country to follow a former summer camp crush. Crazy Ex Girlfriend was a rarity, and the four season run blessed us with a lot of quality television, and something even rarer -- a multidimensional Jewish lead. If you haven't had a chance to meet Rebecca, the entire show is available to stream on Netflix. And yes, when I realized how much she was losing this round, this song was on loop in my brain. Apologies to Rachel Bloom and the rest of the CEXG team, I seriously thought you'd sweep this thing. What a twisted fate.
Match Four Elimination: Lily Moscovitz, The Princess Diaries
Oh, Lily, I think the internet misunderstands you more often than not these days. But to ignore your Jewishness is an absolute faux pas, whether you're looking at the movies or the much more blatantly Jewish representation you get in the books. Seriously though, I can think of at least a handful of Jewish girls I grew up with who remind me of the headstrong public access host. Side note -- to all the girlies who grew up hating their curly hair because of the nightmare of a makeover Mia got, I'm right there with you, and we'll get through this together. Honestly, I think there's something to be said about Jew-coding's relationship with makeover scenes, but we don't have the time for that right now.
Match Five Elimination: Francine Frensky, Arthur
I've mentioned before how I grew up on public access television, so is it any surprise when I say that Francine was (probably) the first time I saw myself on television? Even if it didn't come up a lot outside of holiday episodes (at least in the seasons that aired when I watched), Francine's Judaism felt recognizable. Plus, if you told her she was just token representation, she'd probably sock you in the face. Oh, and something I found while researching -- THE GOLEM IS A PLOT POINT IN A HALLOWEEN EPISODE?! Seriously, props to PBS.
Match Six Elimination: Ferris Bueller, Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Finding good representation in any 80's movie is going to be an uphill battle, considering well. The 80's-ness of it all. So when looking for a good Jewish character, it's much easier to default back to the transitive property of Jewish media (art made by Jews being Jewish by way of their perspective being translated into the text). Since Matthew Broderick, Ferris himself, is Jewish, who's to say the most beloved delinquent of his era isn't too? Plus, he's a stock standard rebel against restrictive institutions. Listen, I have the original Footloose on my coded Jewish representation Letterboxd list, I have no room to judge. *Points to Ferris* That's a NJB right there.
Match Seven Elimination: Truman Burbank, The Truman Show
Speaking of my coded Jewish representation Letterboxd list, this movie SCREAMS Judaism to me. Come on -- it's so critical of Christianity that it almost falls backwards into Judaism. Free will in spite of a higher power? Disagreeing with authority so much that you flee your home, your world, your reality? Helps that his hometown is so heavily designed after post-war 50's suburbia, which has its own relationship with being Jewish. So is Truman Jewish? I think he can be -- watch the movie and make the call for yourself. It's a classic for a reason, and I won't rob you of the experience.
Match Eight Elimination: Wall-E, Wall-E
Wall-E, my robot blorbo, the most Guy of any Pixar protagonist -- what makes him Jewish? He loves Barbra Streisand, collects tcotchkes, and is relentlessly working to make the world better, even if he's the only one still doing it (tikkun olam has NEVER seen a cuter mascot).
BEFORE THE WEEK ENDS
pairings: xiao x fem!reader
what to expect: "all this time, week after week, i’ve made it so clear what i feel for you, xiao. and before every week ends, all i’ve wanted is to see something even remotely similar in you and—"
genre: fluff, some angst, suggestive towards the end, xiao highkey OOC but see if i care
note: OOOO boy,,,,, been writing four like 4 hours now and im just about ready to drop dead. but she is here!!!! my baby, my child, possibly my newest favorite piece for xiao.... will proofread this later but i hope this makes you feel what it made me feel <3
you aren’t oblivious to xiao, you really aren’t. really, you dote on xiao if anything and somehow, he manages to be the awe-striking lone star of your night sky while also being the sole bane of your entire existence. you dote on xiao because he isn’t running his words through his head before he says them, albeit the slight droop of his neck when he realizes he’s said what he’s thinking never fails to make you want to kiss him silly. the xiao you love is simple to love, he loves his truth and you love him.
“god, he confuses me,” you groan into the fabric of your pillowcase, a not pleasant reminder to the back of your head to get around to doing laundry before the week ends. which is not a lot of time because you’d slept your way through saturday. sunday came around but xiao didn’t, which is disappointing because you’d invited him over to your room for a movie night.
“are you positive you said sunday?” questions lumine, kicking the frayed ends of the purple dreamcatcher you’d bought her last summer. “not next sunday? or monday?”
scoffing at the crinkle of doubt in her tone, you throw a cushion at her face. “for the last time, i remember clear as day telling him if he’d like to maybe like to spend some time with me in my room on sunday.”
lumine shoots up from her bed, wide eyes fixed on you, “wait, you’re telling me you asked xiao to spend time in your room? on a weekend? i thought you said it was a movie night.”
you roll over, tapping the screen of your phone, sighing with dismay when you see it’s 10:17, two hours past the time you were to meet him. he’s definitely not coming, you think as you try to melt your thoughts away.
“i asked you something, y/n,” lumine’s voice is closer to you when she speaks this time, “you know xiao, he’s not going to pick up on your arbitrary cues like “spending time in my room” means casual movie-watching and “going for drive” means buying a bunch of unnecessary food with someone else’s money—”
“that was one time, lumi! get over it!” you half-chuckle at lumine’s general direction. you’re about to go on about how you had more trust in the boy you’ve liked since you can remember when there’s two knocks on the door.
you’re up in no time, legs thrown over your bed, hands almost trembling as you check the time for some reason. 10:20 pm. you don’t stop to look at lumine before your legs are carrying you to the door and you throw open the door.
“xiao,” you sigh, breathless all of a sudden because he stands before you, mouth drawn perfectly into the shape of the moon tonight and a dusting of pink stretching from his cheeks to his ears.
he falls into you, a heaving mess. his hands find yours without trying to and his head is a breath away from resting on your shoulder. his breaths leave a quick trail of warmth on your collarbone and you have to straighten your spine before your knees can give away underneath you.
“y/n, i’m- i’m sorry. i was in the studio, working on some final suggestions i got and i thought i would be done by 7 but i got carried away and- and- ...” he’s trembling in your arms, almost shivering.
“you ran all the way from the studio?” you ask quietly, internally squandering the urge to wipe away the strands of his hair that stuck to his forehead, glistening emerald.
as if only just realizing his proximity to you, xiao peels himself away — peels, because you’re not easily letting go of him just yet. he meets your eyes this time, another kind of proximity that has his cheeks flushing again. “i’m sorry i missed our date. can we— can- um, is it too late?”
you’re processing the words he’s speaking, only slightly distracted by the hitch in his voice when lumine gives away her presence with a bemused snort. “date? damn, y/n, i take back my words. he picks up on your arbitrary cues better than anyone else. ”
“oh! lumine, i’m sorry, i didn’t see you there. sorry for—”
“no, no. lumi was just leaving anyway,” you gesture with a hand on the door and a threat in your gaze as you smile at lumine, “she has papers to write before the week ends.”
with a roll of her eyes, she mirrors your mirthless smile and slides away from the room, patting xiao on the back as she swings around her heavy tote bag. “have fun, not too much fun, y/n baby.” just as she turns around to leave, she stops, pressing a firm finger to xiao’s bicep that startles you more than him. “and don’t ever be late again, lover boy, or we’re about to have problems.”
“lumi!” you groan but she’s walking away with a smile and you can just turn to xiao with an apologetic smile. “sorry about her. come in!”
xiao, ever the patient being, seems shocked that you’re inviting him in. “uh, um, is this...? am i..?”
“it’s not too late,” you reply, pulling xiao into the room by his elbow, pointing at the golden-orange setting of your room, thanks to some not-so-legal changes to your lights, “plus, the ambience is so much more romantic when it’s completely dark outside, don’t you think?”
exactly as you wanted, xiao chokes on his words, eyes racing away from you. you laugh, “now, come on, you were the one who called it a date, if i’m not mistaken.”
you’re clearly having too much fun that even xiao catches on to the teasing glint in your eye, lips forming into a pout all too naturally. “didn’t mean it like that,” he mumbles.
this is the back-and-forth dynamic that you’ve come to love around xiao. he’s exactly the kind of guy who reveals they consider it a date and then proceed to get adorably shy about it. he’s the kind of guy who’s fingertips will not chase yours in a bowl of popcorn you’re sharing it with him, but when your fingers meet his, he does not pull away all the same — at least not instantly. he’s the kind of guy who will not hide the way he’s closely watching you as you try to find which movie to watch next and when you catch him, he’s just a stuttering mess.
and xiao is the kind of guy who suggests you both just lay down in silence for a moment before you queue the third movie of the night, and when you press the side of your hand to his face in a daze, he falls still.
you can sense he’s waiting for you, to say something or to do something and you almost wish he would not wait all the time. but that all goes away when you whisper his name. the daze envelopes you deeper when the blades of your blinds stir with the wind and paint his features in the moonlight and xiao shifts in your slight hold on him, lips coming to rest against your knuckles.
now, you’re the one who’s fallen still with a gasp. a pretty gasp, xiao thinks but does not say, but if you tried, you could see it in the way his eyes trace your figure in the dark, outlined by the moonlight.
and in your waiting for xiao to say something, you’re caught unprotected when you feel his lips move against your skin. a movement so soft that it could go ignored but the feeling so intent that it makes you a little dizzy: a kiss.
if there was ever any doubt: you’re not dating xiao. not yet, you’d like to add, but honestly even that feels like too much of an overestimation of whatever it was that xiao felt for you. if it was anything to be thought of, in the first place. and yes, perhaps you are sulking, moping around about the fact that you and xiao are not dating. but you’d like to blame it on that another week has passed, another week in the books on how much of an idiot you are for xiao.
it’s not your fault for loving xiao so passionately though, you believe. even right now, sitting among your friends huddling around the fierce bonfire, you don’t think anything could compare to the way his eyes reflect the bright flames as they rise in different shades of orange and green.
there’s a lot of feelings that make you feel like you’re in the sweet love song that plays on in the background in that moment. the sand under your thighs as you stretch your legs and the way it gives way as you walk to where xiao sat. the brush of lumine’s hand against your calves when you pass her, the silent touch so saturated with encouragement and understanding. the crackle of the fire in its accentuating of your friends’ laughter because childe is a ridiculous dancer.
but most of all, the feeling of xiao’s smile spreading across his face until it was a smile on your own face and the delicate flick of his wrist as he sweeps away a few stray twigs that litter the sand beside him for you to sit - the feeling of sitting right next to xiao, close enough that the fabric of his shirt could be felt on your skin... the feeling of loving xiao is what makes you fall in love with him even more.
“hi, y/n,” he smiles and you almost giggle at the right-ness of your name in his mouth.
“xiao,” you breathe, and you thought it strange how often you said his name. a side-effect of love, you suppose. one-sided love, even more so. your heart squeezes at the thought but you stop the wavering in your smile just in time.
“i saw you in the volleyball match earlier,” his toes dance happily in the sand and you stretch your own feet at the sight, “you were amazing. i didn’t know you played.”
you shrug, arms coming to wrap around your legs, “heh, thanks. it’s ‘cause i coudn’t any other sport back in high school,” you scrunch up your nose at the memories that flood your mind, “all of ‘em so full of stinky high-school dudes.”
xiao chuckles, “i’m surprised volleyball wasn’t full of stinking dudes, too,” he imitates your nose-scrunch from earlier, “my high-school volleyball scene was a lot like that. had to bribe my way into the girls’ tennis club.”
you let out an undignified chortle, “why the hell did you bribe someone to get into the tennis club?”
“they wanted me to give them some sort of advice about boys, but i wasn’t very helpful,” he mutters, finger drawing restless circles into the space between the two of you.
“c’mon, don’t be humble,” you nudge his side, elbows touching, halting his fiddling, “i can bet you were the reason why most of the popular couples were together in the first place.”
xiao clears his throat as if to fight off his blush, “ah, i wouldn’t put it like that... but i suppose i did play cupid in some successful relationships.” he stops to look at the addition you’ve made to the circle he’s made in the sand. two dots that were arguably too large to be eyes and a wonky smile.
he breathes a delicate giggle, pleased as he admires the creation, “that’s too cute.”
“you’re too cute.”
although the words are your thoughts verbatim, it’s not you who says them. no, it’s a figure rising on the other side of xiao — ganyu.
a very inebriated ganyu, of course, because she flails on her knees before grabbing xiao’s shoulder for support. she’s drunk, you tell yourself. she’s not really thinking right, you understand. but you’re sure that the way she sighs happily in xiao’s presence is painfully familiar to your own experiences. ganyu loves him, and that’s real, whether or not she’s drunk. and at the same time, you don’t miss the reddening of the tips of xiao’s ears as he steadies ganyu, softly asking her to sit down.
you’re used to this by now. xiao’s niceties, his constant casual intimacy with people that weren’t you. but it’s been too long that you’ve watched silently as he pushes back another girl’s hair to check if she was breathing fine, and you remember realizing you weren’t content with being another girl to him, or to anyone one, for that matter.
so you touch his elbow to draw his attention back to you, stomach unsettlingly empty as you look into his eyes as they focus on you. “xiao,” you say it like an incantation — no, more like a prayer because you’re praying he won’t break your heart anymore than he has, “do you want to take a walk with me? the shore is really pretty at this time...” you almost don’t say the next words but you see the way his eyes waver, shuffling halfway back to the babbling ganyu. you tell yourself in your head that you’re being unfair but you want to make him choose, “i also need to talk to you about something.”
it’s your trump card, honestly. it’s really not much, just a vague declaration for your need to talk to him alone, away from the crowd and the fire, a walk for just the two of you. but lumine’s words from a week ago ring true in your mind: he picks up on your arbitrary cues better than anyone else.
xiao hasn’t said anything in a minute and you’re desperate enough to lock gazes with him, to give him time to understand the weight of his choice. he opens his mouth to speak, so blissfully unaware of how tightly he had your heart clenched in his hands — but then, he stops and turns to look away, to look at ganyu and all of a sudden, it doesn’t matter what he answers. because you’ve know what you see on his face: hesitation.
you pull away, the intensity of the moment you shared with him breaking away as you stand up, dusting off your pants clean. “it’s okay. never mind about that,” xiao frowns, a look somewhere between heartbreak and guilt on his face and you almost scoff in his face because of how fucking stupid he’s made you feel, “don’t worry about it.”
a few minutes later, you find yourself pressed into a tipsy itto’s side, the vibrations of his chuckling traveling to you. suddenly, he’s running toward the shoreline even though you’d almost reached it. “you were right, y/n,” itto exclaims, “it is pretty here, at night.” the words make you flinch, throat sore as you do everything you can to not look over your shoulder.
safe to say, itto had all but eavesdropped on your invitation to xiao and had convinced you to take the walk with him instead. you felt too weak to say no, too cruel to understand that what you were doing. it is not an unknown truth to you that itto had been harboring a crush on you, possibly a recent development if lumine’s words are anything to go by.
“sorry, i heard you talking to xiao earlier,” he says, back to being glued to your side, arm around your shoulder— meant to be warm, but in the chaos of your mind right now, it just felt heavy. “he’s so... undeserving of you.”
you gasp, because you did not think itto capable of talking trash and because you could not agree less. words bubble up in your throat: i’m the one who doesn’t deserve him. he hasn’t done anything wrong. it’s my fault for loving him too much. but you feel defeated, like this is the end. you watch as a wave rises with a roar, passionately coming to collide with the shoreline, kissing the sand there. your chest heaves a little at the pain of everything and you nod to yourself: the end.
and then, your eyes meet itto’s and you let yourself soak in the feeling of being loved. not by someone you love, but by someone you could love. and as you watch the way itto’s grin widens when you step close to him, hand coming to rest against his hard chest, you think you could fall in love with itto.
“do you think you deserve me, then?” you ask under your breath and itto’s cheeks flush. but he doesn’t stutter when he replies, “i would never let anyone think that i don’t.”
it’s not the right answer and really, you’re not sure there is one, but it will do. “kiss me, itto.”
itto stops to stare at you in surprise and somewhere in his eyes, you can see your own self-pity reflected but he doesn’t stop to think too much and he leans in until your noses are touching. you’re so sure this is it, this kiss with a man who loves you and who you wish to love and this kiss that can replace the spot on your knuckle from a week ago that had you up all night. you’d traced it all night but you can try to make this kiss worth more — and the end that you’re so close to is almost here.
until itto isn’t holding you. he’s stumbling away from you, a hand pulling him away from you. “what the fuck?” screams itto, fist clenched, ready to fling at the attacker. but then, you both see who it is. “xiao?!”
you’re on your knees before you know it, overwhelmed and unable to contain it. you’re painfully aware of the cold tears rolling down your cheeks as your fists close around the grains of sand around you. you refuse to watch yourself get burnt and you were so close to becoming free. the kiss of freedom that xiao has so heartlessly snatched from you. you hear the two speaking in hushed tones and you hear itto’s heavy footsteps departing, and you know you really are doomed to love xiao for ever.
“no!” you cry when you feel his hot hands descend on your bare shoulders. you want to push him away but you just glare at him pathetically through your tears, sobbing right in his face, “no, don’t.”
“y/n, you’re freezing,” xiao says and it makes you cry even harder when you feel the fabric of his satin shirt coming to cloak your shaking body.
your tears are less stormy now and you are able to feel your words in your mouth again. you hurl them at the man who made you lose them in the first place. “can you leave me alone, xiao?” that should do the trick, you think, because it’s both a command and a request. plus, you even said his name which only makes it clear that you really did not want to be around him
but then you look at xiao and you know it was a mistake to say his name when you’re this vulnerable.
“leave you alone? so you can throw yourself at itto again?” at first, you’re shocked at the flare of envy in xiao’s eyes and then, he adds, “you know he likes you, don’t you?”
now you’re mad at him. this time, you push him, hard enough that he lands on his butt, across from you.
“oh, i’m aware, xiao, that he likes me,” you say with a laugh, “i like him, too.”
“no,” the word leaves his throat like a plea, “no, you don’t.”
“but what makes you so sure? of course, i like him. i wouldn’t ask just anyone to take a walk with me along the shoreline at night.”
xiao’s eyes shoot up to you, a strangled noise in his throat. “but you asked me to—”
“and you hesitated,” you throw a handful of sand his way aimed at his face but it lands on his lap, “you always hesitate with me, xiao.” you can tell he wants to speak and you so dearly want to hear what he has to say but the words you’ve imprisoned within yourself for so long escape desperately.
“all this time, week after week, i’ve made it so clear what i feel for you, xiao. and before every week ends, all i’ve wanted is to see something even remotely similar in you and—,” you’re about to go on about how you feel and all the ways in which he treats you but you see his eyes falling to his lap, the sand the you attacked him with, decorating him like they were tiny stars in a galaxy.
you sigh with a weak smile, because that’s what you would always be: a tiny speck, for you doubted you deserved to be a star, to his galaxy. “but i can’t do this, anymore,” you continue and xiao’s eyes meet yours halfway, “i don’t want to do this. i know it’s not your fault but it really fucking hurts anyway,” you take a deep breath, “so please, could you leave me alone, xiao?”
there’s silence. xiao sits, breathing a little uneven as his gaze doesn’t leave you even when you’ve averted your eyes, unmoving. you allow it like you always do with xiao. you let him have his time as if you were the one hurting him, not the other way around.
“no.” the word is said such a long while that you take a moment to register he’s refusing to leave.
“no?” your tone is incredulous because you truly have had enough and xiao’s faces his lap again.
“i don’t think i should leave.”
and because you really truly have had enough, you just fall into the sand onto your back. “fine. do whatever the fuck you want. you always do.”
you don’t know what you expect when you hear the rustling of him in the sand but you definitely don’t expect to have your view of the night sky blocked by his head. his face hovers above you, arms on either side of you and dully, you realize that xiao is on top of you.
despite everything, the sound of those words make blood rush to your face and you question, “what are you doing?”
“you said i could do whatever i wanted to,” xiao says and you’d focus better if he didn’t follow the statement by bending his elbows so that there’s but a hair’s breadth between him and you. his hair tickles your face and your words turn to muddle at the sensation.
“i want to do this.” you feel his words before you hear them because he’s already kissing you when he says it. you gasp into his mouth and he holds it with a grunt of his own. kissing him is like a dream, kissing him is a dream.
you hate how weak you are against his lips, weak enough that he’s the one who pulls away first. a lone tear leaves your eye and xiao catches it with his thumb, kissing the edges of both your eyes. “you’re beautiful when you cry, you know. but,” his thumb trails from your nose down to your mouth, slotting itself between your lips, “you’re even more beautiful when you’re smiling.”
he silences you with a kiss and you can only observe how well he knows you. “let me say something before you... before you go on and make yourself believe any more lies about me.”
you fall still against him and his thumb presses against your lower lip to be sure. “... lies about my feelings toward you.” xiao leans down, kissing your lips through his finger, “i love you, y/n. i’m in love with you, actually.”
you want to bite down on your lip to stifle the noise that tries to escape but you end up nipping xiao’s thumb, making him gasp against your cheeks. you would expect him to quiet down right about now. his cheeks are hot enough that you can feel the warmth too and plus, this is xiao’s style: short and simple.
but he continues: “and- and.. i hesitate but only with you. only for you. because i’m afraid of what it means for me to love you and i would rather hesitate a million times than lose you,” he sighs, “but i’m stupid. i shouldn’t have been hesitating. because when i saw you walking away from me, w-with that look on your face.. i don’t think i can let that happen again.”
his eyes leave you, “and then i saw him wrapped around you and i knew i couldn’t let you be near him, let alone kiss him. because i love you and that’s all i know.”
you feel like you’ve aged eons by the time xiao falls silent, not because he’s being tedious but because his words are making you feel a whirlwind of emotion. you breathe a laugh, a real one this time because xiao is intently staring at you, “you sure don’t know a lot, do you?”
xiao huffs at your lazy response, moving away from you but stopping his tracks when you prop yourself on your elbows to press your lips to his. “but there’s one more thing you need to know,,” you speak against his lips, hands running from his neck to his hair, pulling him impossibly closer, “that i’m in love with you.”
xiao releases an exquisite mewl against you, falling so that you were tangled in the sand, his chest against yours and his hands coming to embrace you from behind. you can taste sand on his lips and your tears, too, but it’s the most wonderful taste in all the world and you don’t think you can stop.
he’s pulling away, before you again, but he’s more flushed than you’ve ever seen him. “hm-mhgh,” xiao whimpers when you find his lips again, slightly missing them, “s-stop... y/n! need to breathe.” you’re not listening to him, not when you’re finally able to feel him so close to you like you’ve wanted all your life. it’s only when he bites at your lip that you pull away with a chuckle and let him fall next to you with a thud.
you pant with the fierceness of a life you never knew you would have and you let out a laugh, wrapping yourself around xiao’s heaving chest. he groans, “you’re such a brute,” but his hands come to rest against your wrist anyway. you give a kiss to his chest, near his heart, “you should stop pouting like that, if you really don’t want me to kiss you to death.”
“ah, shit,” xiao grunts as you both gather yourselves, “i’m wet because of you.”
you think you give yourself whiplash when you spin around to look at him. your eyes are slightly wide when you reach for him but your hands are quick to travel dangerously low. “you’re wet, you say?” xiao gasps when he hears his words.
“w-wait, no— i meant-”
your hand is at his waistband as you whisper, “because of me?”
you greatly enjoy the little sound he tries to hide at that before pushing you slightly, “oh, fuck off, i meant the ocean— i sat in the water because of you!” when your smirk doesn’t clear up in understanding that nobody expected it to, he groans, trying to walk away but you link your arm through his. “you’re so cute when you swear at me, baby.”
“ohmigod, what have i done— h-hey, stop!” he yelps as he dodges your lips, “our friends are right there! please, no, i can’t—”
Can you do first collection for lando Norris?
im genuinely surprised that it took this long for someone to request lando at all buuuut here u go!
your first _______ with lando:
date: it would be a fair of some sort. you guys would go on all the rides, play all games, and eat a lot of food. and speaking of games, there was a pink stuffed elephant that you really wanted, and lando being lando swore that he could get it for you. it was a ring toss game, the one with all the glass bottles. it was a humbling game, one lando swears he'd never play again. but he did end up getting you that elephant, after four attempts.
kiss: he was watching you at work, busy typing away on your computer while simultaneously taking a phone call. technically, you were supposed to be off, but there was a pressing matter that you could only deal with. so lando put the movie on pause and watched you work. he smiled as you figured out the problem, having a mini celebration for yourself. you grin widely, looking over at him "i did it!" and his first instinct is to kiss you, so he does. your eyes grow wide, cheeks pink as you close your laptop "yeah okay okay i gotta go." and you hang up and kiss him again.
time ;): you were teasing him as a joke, trying to sway him away from his game. but i guess you teased him just a little too much because he got off that game rather quickly and was on you in an instant.
fight: you were just expressing that you felt neglected. between racing and quadrant and all the other things he's added to his plate, you can't help but feel like the after thought. you were just expressing that and suddenly it was a huge fight with a lot of unkind things said. he of course had to go to some work commitment, but not without sending you a bouquet of flowers every day he was gone, always with a note attached to say how sorry he is.
saying 'i love you': he somehow managed to convince you to try out the new f1 game on his set up. "its easy babe, i promise!" so with much prying and kisses, he manages to get you in the chair. he sits by you the entire time, teaching you the functions and all the buttons to press. you were doing fairly well, especially for someone who wasn't too well versed with the game. and you slowly started to get more into it, your competitive side coming out. he thought it was so cute, how comfortable you're getting, the jargon you were throwing around, he just had to say it. "lando? did you see that? did you- babe you're not even paying attention! i got p1!" he looks at the screen, assuring that you did get p1 ahead of max and charles. he leans in and kisses your temple, "god, i love you."
meeting his family: it was over the summer break, in spain. he brought you along on a family vacation, and you were more excited than nervous actually. you got along with his sister quite well, and his parents were more than happy that lando had finally landed a woman that would tame him.
meeting your family: lando was the opposite of you, in a fit of nerves as he drove you both to your parents house. unbeknownst to you, he overheard a conversation between you and your brother and he said something along the lines of lando having regrets if he ever messed up. and he just didn't want to mess up. but he had nothing to worry about, your parents loving him immediately and your brother trying to sweet talk him into getting paddock passes.
Good Days (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader)
(photo not mine, will delete if asked)
word count: 5.7k
summary: Good or bad days, Eddie was always there.
warnings: best friend to lovers trope, fluff, cussing, tiniest use of weed, Season 4 ending didn’t happen teehee
a/n: First full fic in a while, hope you all like!! special thanks to my friend for being my editor and helping through my process:) <3 p.s: i listened to Touch Tank by Quinnie and Bad Habits by Steve Lacy the entire time i wrote this so thats kinda the vibe here 😋
Summer days in Hawkins, Indiana varied of being the worst, okay, or best days of your life.
Worst being the achingly hot days, over 90 degrees with a broken AC unit, nothing to do , and unable to go anywhere but stay in your hot ass room. The sheets of your bed made it unbearable to stay laying down, the leather of the couch sticking to your skin made you itch and irritated. Bonus points if it was a day when they were cleaning your parents pool, they forbid anyone from going in the water until 24 hours after the chlorine sets.
Okay days were much better, when the AC worked and the leather couch didn’t make you want to scream at anyone who dared to talk to you. You were able to walk or bike to a friends house, maybe hang out at the mall if you were allowed to go out. Uneventful days, not bad but neither amazing.
To others, the definition of the best summer days would probably be something like hanging out with friends, getting high in the woods, going for a naked swim at lovers lake in the dark. And you agree, doing all those things sounded amazing. But you liked the simple life. Hanging out and watching a movie, getting take out, singing karaoke, and playing board games with friends, doing all those things in one day seemed like the best summer day to you.
Today was one of those days. A pool day.
You’d invited Eddie Munson, your best friend and the “freak” of your hometown. You’d been friends with him since the time you didn’t know how to wipe off the sticky orange juice from your hands. Since middle school when he’d discovered his favorite genre of music and decided to reinvent himself. Since the beginning and end of high school, when the two of you seemed to have nothing in common anymore but could talk about everything. Everyone told you those four years of hell to “stay away from him”, that “that devil worshiper will corrupt you.” You ignored all these comments, laughing at them with Eddie later that same day. He’d accepted his title as the town freak, knowing that you understood him was enough to make him feel better.
Eddie had ran a club when he was in high school, the Hellfire Club. Where a bunch of Dungeons and Dragons loving nerds would band together and play campaigns, acting out as knights, warlocks, mages and elves of sorts in order to defeat their imaginary enemies. Not many people joined the club, seeing as everyone in the town followed the same “normal person” cliché, all afraid to even be associated with your old school’s drug dealer.
But not 3 annoying freshmen. 3 boys who ran after and idolized Eddie as their leader, waiting for any chance to talk to him at any time of day. All three attached to the hip of each other, always seen together and hardly ever apart. Eddie had grown fond of them, accepting their constant nagging to be around him, always accepting their request to tag along with him when he’d go out.
And thats how your backyard ended up like this.
Pool floaties full of sun kissed bodies, water splashed all over the cement floor surrounding the bowl of water used for swimming. Loud music blaring over a speaker, cups and chips thrown around the table and on the floor of the deck.
More people showed up than you had expected, all you did was say yes when Eddie asked if he could bring a few people along.
Apparently, a few people meant 4 kids and 3 other teens/adults to your house. You knew them all of course, having had gotten to know them earlier that year during That incident. The odd group combination of 4 freshmen, a kid from band, the queen of hawkins high, the ex king of hawkins high, hanging out with you and Eddie the freak Munson was something normal to you now, but from different viewpoint , it all still made you confused as to how or why you all are friends.
A red white and blue popsicle melted in your fist as you were away in your thoughts, the cold touch of the syrup running down your hand brought you back out.
“Shit.” You hissed, frantically looking for a napkin before it could create a bigger mess. The table had napkins scattered everywhere but not a single one was dry. Damn Dustin, canon-balling on the side of the pool you told him not to.
You look around hurriedly, seeing that Nancy was running inside. “Nance! Napkins!” You yelled to her before she entered through the sliding door. “Yep!” She yelled in response.
The cold treat continued to rapidly melt before you could even get a taste of it, praying that Nancy had actually heard your request seeing as she was in a rush.
You sighed to yourself as you looked down at your hands, full of sticky blue juice. You didn’t have long to be upset, a pair of arms wrapped around your waist suddenly.
“Hey!” You yelled, shocked at the sudden feeling.
“Hey!” A voice responded.
You twisted your body to try and see the person who had grabbed a hold of you. Messy brown hair came into your view as you soon realized who it was. His skin against your bare stomach made you burn in his touch, unsure because of the heat or because the butterflies in your stomach made a siren go off in your mind. He was so close, breathing against your neck as your face suddenly started to burn. The temperature of your body and the weather would’ve made you pass out unless Eddie’s wasn’t freezing cold, indicating he had just gotten out of the water.
“What’re you doin Eds?” You ask him, trying to wiggle your way out of his arms.
“Throwing you in the pool.” He says nonchalantly.
Before you could even process his words, you felt yourself being pulled in the direction of the pool. The flexing of his arms around your body made you panic in two ways.
He laughed loudly as he neared the edge of the pool, thinking your objections were hilarious.
“Eddie, my popsicle!” You yelled as you were lunged into the water.
A cold feeling engulfed your entire body as you heard muffled cheers and laughs from underneath the water. You swam to the surface as fast you could, gasping for air.
“Fuck you Munson! The pool’s dirty now, my parents are gonna be pissed!” You spat at him as soon as you caught your breath, swimming over to your now broken and floating popsicle.
“Oh c’mon sweetheart, they’ll never know!” He exclaimed, spreading his arms open. A stupid smile on his face as he laughed with Dustin and Robin.
“They won’t but I will!” You huffed, grabbing the now soggier treat and tossing it to Eddie. A splat of blue painted his chest as he suddenly stopped laughing.
“Payback.” You said, shooting him a wink as Steve, who was floating nearby, burst into laughs. “Just gonna let her go,Munson!” He asked the tall boy in between laughs.
You rapidly turned your head to glare at him, how dare he provoke Eddie into a war between the two of you.
“Never!” Your friend yelled before diving into the pool, chasing after you.
Adrenaline rushed through your body as you tried to swim away from him and into the shallow end of your pool, grabbing the person nearest to you to hide behind.
A splash of water hit the person you were using as a personal shield, “Hey!” you heard them yell. Looking at the wet hair, you realized you hid behind Mike. Leaning over his shoulder you start to glare at Eddie, “Piss off!” You almost screeched.
All he did was stare at you, face flat with no expression before looking at Mike. “Alright Wheeler move or else I'll drown you.” He threatened the boy.
“Oh c’mon I didn’t even do anything!” He whines, hands coming up and out of the water, the splash landing towards the older boy.
“Did you just wet me?” Eddie gasped, dramatically placing a hand on his chest. “Oh that’s it! That’s it! Let’s go!” He exclaims.
The rest all happened too fast, grabbing Mike by his shoulder Eddie soon began to wrestle with him in the water. Lucas came up to hold Eddie off but that caused Dustin to come and hold Lucas back. Chaos started to spread as Steve, Robin and Max were soon pushed off their floaties and pool noodles to join the fight. Water flew and all the movements created large waves inside the pool, water jumping and spilling out onto the cement outside.
You laughed as you wrestled with the person nearest to you, struggling to keep their wet hands away from you by getting them even more wet.
The sounds of screams and laughter erupted throughout the entire backyard , soon becoming louder than the music that was already on full blast.
When the screaming and splashing of water died down, you all hopped out of the pool, everyone’s bellys hungry for whatever food that was lying around.
The hot summer air hit your body in a way that made you shiver as you wrapped yourself inside of the large beach towel you used to dry yourself with.
The grill smoked and smelled of burning charcoal as Steve fried up some burgers and hot dogs for everyone, looking like a father as he placed a hand on his hip and held a pair of tongs in the other.
You looked at him, sitting on the wooden bench of your table, giggling at his actions of fighting with Dustin and Max over if 2 hot dogs was the limit or if everyone could have any amount they wanted.
“Buncha dummies aren't they?” Someone commented, a presence looming over you at the same time.
Tilting your head up, you only see the outline of dark frizzy hair, the shadows of the sun on his back making the rays of light change direction and hit your eyes. Squinting you hold a hand to your brows, a makeshift visor so you can properly look into the person in front of you.
Eddie, with already half dried hair but body still scattered with droplets of water that rushed down his chest and arms. The sight of him was normal to you, having seen his physique for years but ever since your stupid crush developed, even looking at him made you shiver.
“Got that right.” You reply, looking into his brown eyes. Puppy dogs eye if you ever had to describe them, always wide and full of hope.
He chuckles at your reply, sitting down next to you, his bare knees touching yours, before handing you something.
“Here. Since I ruined the other one.”
You look down to his hand, noticing a vibrantly colored wrapper. You grab the object, the cold of it settling in your hand before fumbling around and grabbing it by the napkin it was wrapped in.
A red white and blue popsicle.
You smiled at him before thanking him for redeeming himself by buying you a new one.
“Least I could do. I mean after I did that.” Another laugh escaping from his lips, the noise sounding so sweet and sincere
“Better be the last time.” You joke, playfully punching his chest for “revenge.” Eddie, ever the dramatic, grasped your hand, yelling in fake agony about how dare you do this to him after he apologized. The action caused you both to break out into laughter.
A large smile was plastered onto your face as you looked into his eyes, falling deeper and deeper into them as he looked back. The last of your chuckles were let out as your senses suddenly became hyper aware of everything.
The way his strong large hands held yours, the rough pads of his fingers against the soft plush skin of your palm, how close his face suddenly was to yours. Breathe fanning into your cheek, the same as earlier. Wet knees touching, almost melting together from the heat of the summer.
An unusual aura surrounded the two of you, consuming your thoughts and lungs as you struggled to think straight. The simple action between you two, something that's been done thousands of times, suddenly felt so intimate and private now, making blood rush to your head.
“You look nice today.” Eddie suddenly told you.
And that was it. That was what sent your head spinning and heart pounding.
“Huh?” You can’t even talk, too stunned at the simple compliment. But under your circumstances it seemed like if he just told you you were the most beautiful girl he’d ever seen.
“Said you looked nice.” He repeated, sucking in a breath immediately after. You swear you saw a tinge of pink on his cheeks before convincing yourself it was your imagination.
He’d never think of you like that, right?
“Thanks.” You somehow managed to say, hand tightening its grip on the frozen treat he gave you. The hand on your knees closing into a fist as you tried to ground yourself from your thoughts.
“Hey! Food’s ready!” A voice cried out.
You quickly turn your head, happy for the distraction , you weren’t sure how much longer you’d have been able to keep looking at Eddie.
You saw Nancy, holding out a plate for you, waving her empty hand in the air to try and get your attention.
“I’m goin! Geez give me a minute,” You breathe out, rolling your eyes playfully.
“So i’m going to go-“
“Yeah yeah no worries.”
Those were the last words you exchanged with Eddie before managing to get up and walk away.
The previous events and actions played in your mind over and over again. Since when did Eddie compliment you? Well now that you think about it, often. Always bringing up how pretty you looked or how he liked your outfit whenever he’d see you, the realization made the air from your lungs leave once again. You quickly convinced yourself it wasn’t anything like that though, simply Eddie being Eddie. But since when was Eddie genuinely nice to you with words?
It all made your head hurt, spinning as you come close to a reality you want to deny, you thought you you were crazy for thinking that and blaming it on your hunger instead.
How were you going to live like this?
The sun started to set, its orange and purple hues laid out and colored your skin as you sat on the uncomfortable couch of your patio.
You thought back to earlier as you stared at the now calm waters. The fight had ended with everyone becoming too tired to even continue, forcing you and Eddie to call a truce so the “war” would stop. You let out a small laugh at the memory, knowing you’re probably going to look back on it again later tonight.
The cold breeze in the air meant it was getting late, everyone had already headed home. Leaving only you and Eddie, sitting together watching the fading moments of sunlight.
You were cuddled up next to the boy, his arm wrapped around you, holding you close in the cold. The heat and feeling of your bodies so near together made you recall how he had held you earlier. How gentle he was even then as he was about to betray you. How he had complimented you out of the blue, making your head and heart go nuts.
You turned to look at him, a joint in between his lips as he breathed it in. The cold air made his cheeks and nose slightly pink, his still bare chest as cold and hard as a rock. He looked beautiful.
The sight caused your cheeks to heat up once again. His pink lips parted as he let the puff of smoke out, tilting his head back as he did. The image made your stomach drop, that feeling that you’d been getting around him for the past few months returned. It was a feeling you could only describe as longing. You wanted nothing more than to grab him by the jaw and kiss him till you couldn’t breathe.
But you couldn’t. Eddie was your best friend, one wrong move and you might end up ruining everything. So you did nothing, leaving your heart aching each waking moment you shared with him. You didn’t realize you were staring until he saw you looking up at him, as if he had hung the moon and stars himself.
“Want some sweetheart?” He asked, his voice rough and gravely from the hit he had taken, the smell of the marijuana filled your nostrils and you wanted to back away. But you almost dismissed it entirely, the pet name he had given you made your chest tighten, the same feeling from earlier returning tenfold.
You felt absolutely crazy with your internal feelings. You’d known the boy for more than 12 years, watched him grow and mature in front of your eyes. Every passing moment you share with him now since you’ve realized your feelings towards him is just you constantly digging your own grave, falling deeper and deeper in love with the boy in front of you. And there was nothing you could do about it.
You made a small disgusted face, acting as if you didn’t feel what you had just felt. “I don’t think I can stomach it right now, my head hurts like a bitch.” You tell him, politely declining his offer. He shrugs at your excuse, putting the drug out on the nearby ashtray he had.
The radio played silently in the background, some Beatles or Queen song playing softly as the loud cicadas sang in the nearby trees. Everything felt good. The comfortable silence in the air soothed you, the feeling of your intertwined legs felt no different than how he held you when you watched horror movies with him. But from today’s incident, when the slightest touch of his knee to yours made you almost pass out, you don’t know how you’re still conscious right now.
The peaceful quiet was soon interrupted by Eddie, who suddenly stood up. The towel that wrapped your bodies together slipped off him and he left your once warm body, freezing.
“Hey, what’re you-“ you tried to ask him, before he suddenly dived back into the pool.
You sat there shocked, mouth open and eyes wide as you watched him slowly rise to the surface. He laid back against the water, spreading his arms and legs as if he was laying on his bed, and let out a sigh.
You giggled at his motion, crawling off the uncomfortable piece of furniture before walking to the edge of the pool.
“It’s cold Eds, why’re you back in?” You asked, slowly bending down to your knees, placing your hands in the water near his leg.
“Bored.” He simply responded, fixing himself so his body was in the water and only his head was out, looking at you.
“Gonna ruin your hair y’know, chlorine makes it all stiff.” You tell him, running a hand through the wet mop on his head.
“T’s already ruined, heat gets it frizzier than usual.” He responds, a goofy smile on his lips.
“Doesn’t mean you still can’t try to take care of it.”
He lets out a huff of a laugh at your comment. You let one out as well in response.
The two of you grew quiet, the splish splash of the ripples from the water repeatedly hitting the pools walls along with the radio playing blended in perfectly together.But you notice the song on the radio has changed. Some cheesy love song you couldn't exactly make out, talking about loving someone for so long, not knowing what to do without them.
The sky at last turned purple, all lights turning on, reflecting on the water's surface. The reflection of his shadow and yours in the pond beneath you, the cold wind hitting your warm cheeks, breathes coming from each of your mouths could be heard, almost as if you were both panting from running a marathon. The blood rushed throughout your body faster than before, something started to change in the aura of the night, similar to the one you had experienced earlier, as he cuffed the wrist of your hand that ran fingers through his hair.
His own started touching the spare one that was placed on the ledge, keeping you balanced, soon bringing it to intertwine with his. The popcorn pattern of the rocks left your skin dented with details, his own feeling so soft against yours.
The feeling returned for a fourthtime that day, your record for feeling this silly crush inside for less than 24 hours.
But it felt different this time, this time you stared into his eyes and didn’t look away as the pit inside you grew and grew faster. The air held a tension and feeling like if you were in the clouds, floating on pure ecstasy. The imaginary drug in your mind made you feel more confident, your arms almost starting to shake in nervousness and excitement as you finally decided, you were going to tell him how you felt. Right now.
Years of friendship are to be thrown out the window in this single moment.
You paused, remembering your favorite times with him. Cheering him up after he lost the talent show in 4th grade, him asking you out to the Snow Ball while you were sobbing in his arms after your crush rejected you earlier that day, staying late for several nights on the phone just to hear each other's voices. All memories that played a crucial part in your relationship, all memories that made you feel closer to him, all memories that just made you fall deeper in love with him without realizing it.
“Eds-“ you started, but were cut off immediately by him.
“Song reminds me of you.” He told you suddenly and simply, as if he were telling you about the weather, though a slight tremor in his voice as he did.
You were stunned. You stopped breathing, your eyes went wide once again, you felt your knees go weak even as you were sitting. You looked at him, hoping that what he said was a prank. But you realized it wasn’t.
His hand trembled in anticipation, but not from the cold. His cheeks were red, and his eyes had the same longing you held deep inside you.
You couldn’t breathe, either from excitement or nervousness. You wanted to lunge yourself into his arms, to hold him, to kiss him. But you didn’t, instead you waited and tried to test the waters before you didn anything else.
You were finally able to catch your breath, trying to relax yourself and body, giving him a soft smile before breaking your silence as he stared at you anxiously, worried of your reaction.
“Reminds me of you too.”
His once faded smile grew wide on his lips as the words hit his ears, the hand holding yours gripped you even tighter, and his heart was going a thousand per minute and he wanted to shout in joy.
“R-really?” He stuttered out, the same stupid smile on his face as he asked.
“Yes,” you giggled. Nervousness and excitement crept up inside of you all at once, unsure of what to do at the sudden mutual confession. Moving your hands you start to caress his cheek, trusting whatever instinct your body had, in order to try and calm him down from his racing heartbeat. Your body bends over the pool, the light illuminating your face as you stretch yourself closer to Eddies face and over the body of water.
He moves your intertwined hands, letting them go so you can grab a hold of both of his cheeks.
You smile at him as you move them, scared but yet so confident in your movements, but not realizing that he was grabbing your shoulders and pulling you down even further and closer to him.
So close that your lips were almost touching. You tried to lean it to him, finally going for the kiss you’ve been waiting for forever.
Until you felt yourself slip and get pulled down.
The water wrapped around your body the same time his arms wrapped around your waist once again. The action ruining the sincere moment, reminding you of how he had thrown you in a similar matter earlier that day.
“Eddie!” You gasp, grabbing his shoulder as soon as you come back up. Your body trembling in the cold, your clothes you had changed into now soaking wet. “Really? Again?!”
He laughed at your frustration and you rolled your eyes.
“Never mind I take it back! You’re only my friend!” You say, starting to swim away from him.
He snorts at your comment, “No baby, come back!” He says between laughs, grasping your wrist and pulling you towards him, the cold water wading against your body causing you to comply
You roll your eyes at him once you're back in his arms. Looking at him with half lidded eyes,your face painted with fake annoyance, he swears he could die from the love he feels.
“Liked you since I met you,” He tells you, voice barely a whisper. “Always loved you. Knew from the moment I saw you fighting some kid for calling me a freak, knew that I was folding into your arms immediately. Tried to push the feelings away but I couldn’t, you’ve got me wrapped around your finger. I‘d do anything for you.”
“I’d do anything for you too,” you tell him, gulping down on the lump in your throat. You don’t know why, but you wanted to sob. The moment you had been waiting for for so long finally arrived, and you didn't know what to do. Nights of planning and lines you’d prepared in your head if you ever told him all went out the window as he held you closer and tighter than ever before.
You couldn’t talk, in fear you’d start to cry. So instead you resumed your previous actions, bringing your hands up to his cheeks and pulling him close once again. Lips nearly touching as you lingered there for a few seconds before he pushed his head forward, closing the small gap.
His chapped lips fit perfectly against yours, you wrapped you legs around his waist as you moved your arms to embrace his shoulders, falling deeper and deeper into the kiss as you did. The lack of air made you lightheaded, and the way Eddie held you, so sweet and so tenderly, was the cause of your tears to finally escape from your eyes and you felt relief. Years of longing and pinning for each other were finally over, you couldn’t help but feel so overwhelmed that it made you cry.
Your tears mixed with the flavor of him and the bitter taste of weed he had previously been smoking made you feel dizzy. You felt intoxicated with his taste,his touch, everything about him in that moment made you think he was the only thing that mattered, that even existed.
You finally managed to pull away, gasping for air as you rested your head between his shoulder and neck, letting out breathy laughs as you tried to slow your heart down.
“Wanted to do that forever now.” You heard Eddie laugh out, the comment making you squeeze him tighter. He laid his chin atop your head, a hand coming up to brush your hair to soothe you.
“Did I live up to the expectations?” You ask as a joke, trying to calm your beating heart from
“Even better, babe.” He replies, and you swear you can tell he had his same old stupid smile plastered on his face.
The water surrounded your bodies, becoming warm in a way that almost felt like a blanket as you were held in your friend's arms. Almosting drifting off into sleep from the calmness of the scene. His scent invaded your senses as it had always when you’d get near him, but it was different this time. It had changed and you loved it more than you already had before.
“Remember when we’d swim every day that one summer? Your parents would get pissed at the amount of water we’d manage to get out of the pool, I remember how mad you used to get when I’d splash you.” Eddie started to talk, hands rubbing up and down your back, as if he could kneed your skin into his own.
“Yeah, I still do. You never listen though, ass.” You say in response, a teasing tone in your voice.
He throws his head back in a laugh, looking down to see your eyes.
“How’s today going? Good or Bad?”
You smile at his question. You always ranked your summer days, and he’d always listen. You’ve had this same silly tradition since the 7th grade, and he remembered them all.
“I think it’s going okay, my friends came over and I got thrown in the pool. That’s about it.” You tell him in an uninterested tone, shrugging at the end.
“Sounds boring” He looked at you with lovesick eyes, the same as you look at him now, letting a laugh escape you and one from him in return.
It was simple, sweet, the moment between you two. You had expected for it to either all backfire or for it to be something extravagant like in the movies when the heroine confesses her feelings for the love interest with the most calm and collected additude, but it wasn’t.
It didn’t need to be anything elaborate, didn’t need to be too simple. It just needed to be the two of you, that’s what made it perfect.
The sun rose once again, making its way into your room through the thin curtains. It’s light blinded you, hitting your eyes the same as it had yesterday. You felt warm, even though you knew the AC was on. Its loud noises shook your windowsill slightly as it let out the cold air.
Dazed and still asleep, you try to move but are stuck beneath something. You move your head, a figure of frizz and a man next to you. Then you remembered everything from the night before. How you and Eddie confessed your love for one another. How you fell asleep in each other's arms, relishing in the new found happiness of the drastic change in your dynamic. And there he still was.
All cuddled up beside you, Eddie's face between your neck and shoulder. Snoring loudly into your ear, arm resting against your chest.
Bliss spread throughout your body, the aching butterflies of longing you’d felt for almost 2 years now were replaced with those of excitement. You felt so happy, so caught up in this small moment between you two that you almost forgot about the entire reason who woke up.
The sound of people knocking on your front door is what caused you to jolt awake. The sound came every 10 seconds, and you knew, it was Eddie's children.
You moved out of bed unwillingly, sad to leave your , boyfriends? Best friends?, arms to go open up the door.
You heard Dustin shout your name from outside on your way down the stairs, “C’mon it’s hot as balls!”
You rolled your eyes as you unlocked the door, hearing Max and Mike argue with him on how weird and gross he was for saying that.
“What do you want you little shits?” You asked the second you opened the door, obviously pissed they ruined your morning with the boy upstairs.
They all turned to your direction in realization of your presence, holding up towels and goggles with large smiles on their faces.
You sighed, rolling your eyes once again. “Alright, c’mon.”
The water was back on the cement floor of your backyard, the sound of people yelling and laughing hit your ears as you stood holding a red white and blue popsicle once again. The bright hot summer sun hits your skin, warming you up and causing your favorite frozen treat to warm as well.
The cold syrup rushes down your hand as it melts, leaving a blue stain on your hands all over again. You hiss, looking to the table near you for a napkin, hoping that they weren’t wet, only to realize you hadn’t even brought any outside.
You almost start to panic, you were too wet to go inside and you didn’t even have a towel to waddle underneath your feet to not ruin the wooden floors of the inside.
But those worries were brought to an end as you felt a hand on your back. You look up to see Eddie, a large smile on his face as he hands you the paper towel you desperately needed.
“Thanks.” You say, rising to your tiptoes and giving him a small peck on the lips. The small action of affect caused everyone nearby to look at you two.
“Woah Munson! Finally got her?” Robin chuckled, hands around her mouth mimicking a megaphone as she spoke.
You blushed at the comment and your eyes went wide, having forgot no one knew about this new situation other than the two of you. Eddie however, didn’t mind.
He grabbed you by the shoulders, pulling you closer and yelling in a victorious manner, ”She’s stuck with me forever now!”
Robin wolf whistled in response and at the sight of seeing you two so close. Everyone else seemed to have screamed the words of “Finally!” “Watching you two was painful.” It was embarrassing, but you liked it. The fact that you and Eddie’s feelings were all out in the open made you feel safe, and you loved how your friends accepted it.
Of course the sudden shift in your relationship was going to be somewhat difficult to navigate in your daily lives for a while, but at least you'll have him with you through the entire thing.
You chuckled at all their reactions, looking into Eddie’s eyes. He looked back. The same lovesick expression from last night stuck on each of your faces as you wrapped your arms around his waist, happy to finally keep close in front of everyone.
You knew that everyday was going to be a good summer day, as long as you’re with him.
The Zombie Apocalypse ft. Peter Parker
Summary: He never imagined this being a thing he might live through, but now that it was, he couldn't have had a better partner to navigate it with. They'd face this together, whatever it came to, and they'd come out the other side to whatever it held. For now, they'd have to get through the first day of the zombie apocalypse.
Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader (she/her pronouns); some fluff, hurt/comfort, high stress situations.
Warnings: I mean... zombies, I guess. If you’ve seen a zombie movie, you know what might be depicted here.
It would've been a week like any other. Late March was doling out pleasant temperatures quite unusual for New York at this time of year, and the people were unearthing their summer wardrobe from the confines of famously limited storage spaces.
She was one of the most daring ones, having impulsively opted for a yellow sundress with a jean jacket, because the best thing about a normal world is that you can afford to be reckless sometimes.
That's no longer the case.
In a normal world, you wouldn't expect the order of events to pack a lifetime of trauma into an afternoon.
It found her, of all places, at an ice cream shop. Attempting to complete the summer daydream that took hold when she put on the dress, she was seeking the delights of childhood among the forty-eight flavors at Smooth Scoops when all hell broke loose.
Between being handed the colorful tower of creamy goodness and taking her first bite, she was interrupted by a table outside the glass doors of the shop being knocked over. Turning to look, she saw a person on the ground getting up haphazardly, knocking even more things over in the process, but surprisingly, running off soon after. Although her eyes were fixated on the obvious traces of blood left behind on the table and chairs, there was no time to contemplate what just happened.
The screaming traveled quickly.
From the safety of the ice cream shop, she wanted to believe it was a parade of some sort that she didn't know about. She really wanted to imagine there was nothing ominous about the sound getting closer, despite how evidently not delighted the crowd seemed to be. However, the owner, an elderly woman whose name she knew to be Aniya, had already come around to the front, passing her by and going outside to take stock of the situation. Quiet as Wednesday afternoons tend to be in this part of town, she was the only customer in the store. Watching Aniya putting the objects back into place, she felt compelled to help her. Leaving her cone in one of the many tabletop holders, she went to follow the woman outside, but four steps was as far as she got.
A man in a dark suit barreled into Aniya, slamming her to the ground with a crack that could be heard through the glass windows. The next few moments were the beginning of the end.
Paralyzed, she could only watch. The old woman's agonized screams were mixed with ferocious snarls coming from the man biting into her shoulder and ripping his nails into her forehead.
There was no moving and no breathing, only a horrific warmth overtaking her entire body as she thought she was on the verge of passing out. The shock of the scene in front of her drowned every fire her brain might've started in an attempt to react.
It was over in only seconds.
And then he noticed her.
There were bits and pieces hanging out of his mouth, splattering everywhere with the clanking of teeth as he settled on his new target. Whatever she saw in his eyes, it activated a primal instinct she'd never felt before.
They both lunged for the glass windows, but only one had the advantage of a still functioning prefrontal cortex. Locking the door was not easy with trembling fingers, and she could feel her stomach turning with how long it seemed to take. Once the chain was slotted into the lock, she backed away from the door and nearly tripped over her own feet when the man launched himself at the glass.
This was a small family store, owned by a woman who was now lying mangled on the ground right outside its doors.
They wouldn't last. They wouldn't last with the rage she was seeing on his face.
Backing away further, her mind screamed for escape enough to force her eyes to scan over the store, but the only door was to the bathroom. It was either being stuck in there, or having to confront whatever it was that was now slamming its head into the glass. It was not a person, not a man. Her decision was made almost as if by someone else. The panic was overwhelming.
She snapped the door shut and locked seconds before the unmistakable shattering of glass. There was no moment of silence, nor was there any respite. Of course he'd seen where she went, with nothing to obstruct his view through the glass panels that lined the store. It was an almost absent realization, that of the level of intelligence in this… creature. Object permanence confirmed.
Banging on the wooden door, crudely confirmed also.
Every blow was echoed in her chest, sending more terror down her spine and shrinking her vision. She wanted out, and she wanted silence.
The only way was through the window at the top of the back wall, but without a hinge or opening of any kind, the only way was to break it. The door wouldn't hold much longer.
Stumbling inside one of the two stalls, her panic grew when she saw nothing of use. The toilet lid was screwed on, and the basin was not ceramic, but plastic.
With desperation having reached a crescendo, she returned to the sink area and toppled the small cabinet underneath, bringing it to the window. Climbing it and taking a deep breath, she breached a hand on the sill and pulled her elbow back, hitting the thin glass with as much force as she could muster. Her effort seemed so small in comparison to the demonic sounds outside the door, and all her mind could focus on was how any moment could be the last before he broke through.
But the glass broke first.
Clearing it away as well as she could resulted in inevitable cuts, but she barely felt them, high on adrenaline as she was. With nothing more than the cabinet underneath to provide support, her first attempt to pull herself out failed. The second attempt saw her propping her left forearm on the window sill and using it as leverage to swing her leg up, grunting with the force of the motion and the glass embedding itself on the outer edge of her palm. She wasn't even sure how she made it through to the other side, because hitting the ground outside knocked the air out of her lungs for several moments.
She was in a tight alley.
The banging inside continued, but the relative safety she felt overtook the deep fear from just moments earlier.
Breathing heavily and lying on her back, a strange thought sizzled through the rest of her brain.
She was grateful she wore the jean jacket, or else she'd have been bleeding from more than one place.
The sky was still blue.
The sun was still shining brightly.
The temperature had dropped a few degrees.
Maybe it just felt that way, with her body cooling down severely after the ordeal she went through. She was somewhat aware that she was slipping into a state of shock, and she would have too, were it not for her phone startling her. She thought it had been ringing for a while, but wasn't sure.
Precious moments passed before she managed to lift a hand to her jacket pocket, eyes still gazing upwards between the two buildings she was lying parallel to. The ringing stopped just before she got the device out, and her hand dropped back to the ground by her side.
She had to move. Whatever this was, she had to move.
Sitting up was a task in and of itself. Still not fully present, she wiped her bleeding left hand on the hem of the dress, hissing when the bits of glass still caught in her skin caused painful friction against the fabric.
Picking the shards out one by one was what returned her to a state of better functioning. Distantly, she remarked that the banging had stopped, but nothing else could be heard inside either. There was no growling or snarling, no inhumane noises right in her ear. He must have given up.
Or, if the faint noises of distress from main street were any indication, he must have found something else of interest.
Groggy and unreasonably tired, she wobbled to her feet, noticing for the first time that her bag was not on her. She didn't know where exactly she'd left it, but it didn't much matter in this new reality.
Meandering. Walking through fog. That's what it felt like, making her way over to the edge of the alley with dragging feet.
What she saw beyond it confirmed the suspicion that everything had changed.
Beekman Street, less than an hour ago home to some of the most dedicated food artisans in the city, was the picture of chaos. The multitude of shops that lined both sides of the spacious street greatly resembled what she imagined Smooth Scoops must look like now.
Broken windows and cadavers hanging over them, next to them, and strewn all about.
It was a nightmare she would tell her therapist about, even if she woke up from it.
There was no waking from this.
She would not have left the alley to step into the carnage, had she not been spotted. Obvious as she was in the yellow dress, she also stood out due to the quality of not being dead yet. Though her first instinct was to back away, she corrected course when she turned to see the dead end.
She ran out into the open, sparing only one look at the young woman chasing her with the same ferocious snapping of the jaw that killed Aniya. Dodging cars that had crashed into the sidewalk and all over the street, she wasn't even sure where to focus her intent. She couldn't just run from this, and she couldn't do it for long. Cardio was really not her strong suit, and neither was any kind of intense physical activity.
The threat of death was providing most of the boost of speed to her legs.
She could see City Hall Park in the distance, but the intersection ahead was faring no better. Wherever she was going, there would be no safety and the thought temporarily broke her focus.
A moment was enough to trip her, but to her own shock, she got up just as quickly, even if she was sure she left the skin of her knees on the concrete. That was probably God, punishing the hubris of choosing a dress for attire at the dawn of the zombie apocalypse.
Stumbling forward with her lungs at maximum capacity, a familiar dreaded sensation was making its way into her thighs. Her muscles were locking up, and the slowdown had already started, because the snarling was getting closer.
She could try getting inside a car.
She could try one of the doors she kept running past.
She could stop running and try to defend herself.
Mind flowing in every direction but too afraid to try any other solution, her legs gave out even further and tears sprang to her eyes, making the dread palpable. Almost at the end of the street, she had one last hope in front of her: the trees ahead might provide temporary safety, and tree climbing had always been the one physical activity she liked as a kid.
But she'd never make it there. The snapping was too close and her lungs hurt too much. Everything was too much, and she couldn't push further, and even if she did, how could she ever climb in time -
Her legs gave out from under her, but she never met the pavement. She was flying instead, clinging instinctively to the textured fabric beneath her fingers, breathing erratic and fear at its highest.
"I got you. I got you. We're gonna get somewhere safe."
The voice was like an epi pen after an allergic reaction. Still, she had a hard time calming down.
"Hey, hey - it's ok, nothing's gonna get you. You're with me. Come on, baby, breathe."
Gulping air like a fish, she held on tighter and opened her eyes. The sight of buildings flying by and streets littered with destruction everywhere she looked was enough to knock some sense back into her, counter-intuitive though that was.
Everything really had gone to shit.
"Peter", she whimpered, burying her face in his shoulder.
"There you go. Hold on, yeah? I'm gonna find us a place we can go. Fuck, this is a mess."
She could hear the stress in his voice and feel the vibration in his chest, but it was as good a comfort as the warmest blanket. He was here. She was safe. She was pretty sure the safest place they could be was suspended on one of his webs, but she knew she'd be ridiculous to ask that they just never stop swinging.
In the end, the only places void of mayhem were the roofs of New York, at least for the time being. She didn't know which one he took them to, because she'd seen enough for a lifetime already and refused to look anymore. When he put her down, he didn't let go right away, and neither did she.
It was finally quiet, and with all threats momentarily at bay, the tears were quick to surface. On shaky legs, she hugged him tightly and felt the friction of his mask coming off against her cheek. He whispered sweet nothings between frantic pecks all along the side of her face, arms searching the expanse of her back and encasing her in an iron grip.
When he pulled away prematurely, it was because a scent reached his nostrils that chilled his spine. Hands at her waist, his eyes ran over every inch of skin, expression contorting further into a frown the more he found things he didn't like.
"What happened? Where did you get these? Why are you wearing a dress, sweetheart? It's freezing!", he asked in rapid succession, distress apparent in the tone he used.
Bringing up her left hand to wipe at her eyes, she noticed it still bleeding and sighed in exhaustion. Her knees were worse, and with bare legs, she could feel the blood dripping down her calves when the wind swept at her ankles.
She didn't know what to say.
"I was getting ice cream." was all she managed at first, a sob bubbling in her throat.
"I know, baby. That's how I knew where you were. I called you, and you didn't pick up. Why didn’t you pick up?"
The trauma was evident in his voice too, and it made her bring herself closer to him, resting her head on his chest and ignoring the stinging that was truly setting in all over now. Her knees hurt like hell.
"I think I… wanted to answer. I was um - I was - I just got out of the bathroom through the window. I locked myself in, because there was just… nowhere to go. And he was trying to get in, but I got out before he did, but he -", she paused on a hitched breath, unable to see anything besides the image of the man crouched over the elderly woman's disfigured body.
"He killed her. He tore her apart. He tore her apart, Peter.", she gasped, clawing at him for safety but no matter how close she got, it wasn't enough.
Peter did his best to help her through the following moments, but they both ended up on the floor, embracing each other with desperation seldom felt.
On his way over, Peter had seen more in half an hour than in years of donning the suit. He couldn't even believe what he was seeing, and the terror that made his forehead pulse had to be moved past in order to get to her. When he called and she didn't answer, he stopped stopping. He stopped helping others he encountered, because he didn't know if he'd come to see his worst nightmare, and the guilt of hearing people call for help when he was right there was hard to overstate. He just couldn't function without knowing she was safe in the hell that just broke out.
And now that she was, his ears couldn't stop shutting out the calls of distress from below. The thought of another little boy being cruelly attacked by his own mother while he swung past was heart-stopping.
People needed his help, and he didn't know how to provide it, because his own hands couldn't stop shaking long enough to think clearly.
"I know you want to go.", she said slowly, herself shaking as well. Looking down where she was leaning against his shoulder, he saw the understanding that made him fall in love the fastest he ever had. But, he also saw everything else, and he knew what she would say.
"I know you want to help, and I - I want you to. But we don't know what this is. We don't know what it is, Pete. We need to think about what to do. Even if you go down there, you can't fight a - a horde. If it's everywhere, that means there's no help coming. What if this is the world now?"
His eyes burned with the truth he could feel in her words. He knew what he'd seen.
"Jameson's dead.", were the only words he could reply with, seemingly in affirmation of her claim.
This was the world now, and a figure like his boss dying on the very first day of this new world crumbled all doubt as to the gravity of the present times.
Her grasp turned tighter in response, her hand caressing at his temple gently and tears once again flowed free.
"I told May to lock herself in the basement. I told her I was going to get you. She said 'don't you dare come home without her'. She used my full name, you know? She really loves you."
His own tears had been falling for a while, and up on that rooftop, they chilled his face terribly. His girl was wearing a sundress, of all things. His favorite - but a terrible choice for the zombie apocalypse, and he said as much.
A weird and hiccupy laugh shook them both, but the anguish would not leave their faces for a long time.
"We gotta go. But I can't swing us all the way over to Queens, so we need a plan.", he said, briefly glancing over her injuries and factoring in finding some bandages on the way.
"Why can't you swing us over?", she asked.
"I don't have enough webs left. I was running low anyway, and then this happened.", he explained, helping her to her feet and pursing his lips when he saw her wincing. Suddenly, her face changed, seeming to remember something. Patting her jacket down, she reached into her inside pocket on the left side and pulled out two silver vials, holding them out to him.
"I had some more cartridges in my bag, but I left it at the store when - yeah. This is all I have, I'm sorry."
He loved her.
"You keep these on you?"
For a moment, she looked almost uncertain, but nodded anyway.
"I took some from the stash you have at my place. I keep them on me sometimes - well… all the time. Just.. because.", she said, finishing awkwardly.
"Because?", he prompted, taking her uninjured hand in his and giving it a kiss before accepting the vials.
"It makes me feel useful. Like right now.", she said weakly, struggling not to cry again. There'd be more time for that later.
Peter wouldn't let the matter go unaddressed.
"Hey", he whispered gently, bringing her closer by the same hand.
"You're my world. You keep me sane, you know that? You don't have to do anything but be here.”
With the words spoken between them, their resolve strengthened for the path ahead, and soon they took off again, heading to May's house to gather their bearings.
The journey to Queens was over the Manhattan bridge and through Brooklyn, and though she wanted to keep them closed, her eyes fought to stay open for his sake. If Peter had to see this, then she would too. She could imagine how hard this was on him, and she was trying not to take undue blame onto herself for something she wasn't at fault for. However, she knew that if Peter were alone, he would stop to help on the way to May's house. But he couldn't with her in tow, because there were just too many of them.
Too many used-to-be-people.
If he put her down for a minute to help someone else, that would be it for her.
Still, he tried. Between swings, he shot a web whenever he could to either deflect or halt the movement of one of those things that were chasing after people. He also dropped her during one of those attempts, and she wasn't proud to say she screamed bloody murder and cursed at him. She really wasn't looking to take a dive into the river, apocalypse or not. Nevertheless, he did catch her, and he sounded so scared that she apologized for her reaction.
They were learning things about each other in real time.
His neighborhood came into view not long after that, but strangely, things were not as chaotic around these parts. It meant that the outbreak happened somewhere else, and though it was spreading unimpeded throughout the rest of New York, it was recent enough that they were able to outrun it. Even if it wasn't for long.
Peter breathing was harsh in her ear, and she knew he had to be exhausted by now. From lower Manhattan all the way to the middle of Queens was not an easy trip to make in one go, especially with a passenger, but thankfully, another glimpse over her shoulder caught May's house in her sights.
However, the buildings they could swing from ended, and Peter had to land them on the street. It was quiet, and they both hoped it was because people had heard of the tragedy in the city and chose to barricade themselves inside, like Peter told May to do.
They proceeded further at a brisk pace, keeping close to the line of houses on the right and making it without issue to his childhood home. The door, as expected, was locked, and calling for May to open it wouldn't be the best option.
"It's ok, you can go open it from the inside.", she said, motioning upstairs with her head.
Peter looked at her like she was growing a second head.
"It's going to take a few seconds at most. I'll be fine. There's no one here."
Her pressing seemed to work, and with another look, he made his way to the side of the house where his old bedroom window was, and he must've established a new record for getting inside and to the front door, because she seemed surprised with how fast he was.
Inside, his mask came off with a huff, and his breaths came in rough and ragged, and she took a moment to kiss his cheek in thanks.
"I'll find something to uh - block the door and windows. You go clean those up.", he spoke, out of breath and looking at her knees.
"I can do that after. I'll help you first. Then we get May."
Peter had no more strength to argue, and he knew that with how little time they had before the mayhem spread to this place, that it was the right thing to do.
Getting to work, Peter broke apart a coffee table and webbed the pieces over the front door, wondering how come he never thought to tell aunt May to replace the obvious hazard: a front door made of forty percent glass. Insanity.
While he moved to the kitchen, he kept an ear on his girlfriend in the living room, whom he had handed a web shooter to in order for her to web up the windows. It was going so-and-so, because he heard a little gasp before each thwip, and against his best judgment, he couldn't help but laugh. Horrible circumstances for her to learn to use those things.
Finishing the task in the kitchen, he moved on upstairs, checking with her before doing so. His senses weren't yet going off for impending danger, and he was feeling a lot better knowing that downstairs was pretty secure.
He grew to regret his decision only a minute later, when, in the middle of sealing his own bedroom window, he heard her scream, and his entire body got cold in an instant. With his vision blurring at the edges from stress, he nearly broke the banister by running into it, but ultimately jumped over, landing in the hallway and breathlessly running into the living room.
His girlfriend and his aunt were holding on to each other, and his mind took only a moment to figure out what must've happened. That was why he didn't sense anything. She wasn't in any danger, but she was frightened, likely by his aunt sneaking up behind her, as she was wont to do at times. She'd probably heard the commotion in the house, and Peter couldn't believe that her reaction was to come up from the basement and check when she hadn't gotten the all clear from him that he was home.
Fucked up, too, that he couldn't get away in time before she saw him, because he hadn't changed out of his suit yet.
Peter never realized how grateful he would come to be for her presence in his life, not least of all because she was proving to be a walking compass for navigating interpersonal conflict.
The moment it seemed like May would blow a gasket over the sight of him, she redirected the course and focused May on helping out with her injuries, which was the best possible thing she could've done. May was a mother first and foremost, and if there was one thing she couldn't resist, it was showering the people she loved with care.
That was where they found themselves now, supplies laid out on the kitchen table to patch up her knees, a task his aunt was devoted to with precise focus. He adored that about her, but he just wished she wasn't using it as an excuse to avoid looking at him.
The tension was broken by his girl again, when she asked to hold his hand before the hydrogen peroxide was applied to her wounds. He knew it was a ploy to soften May up - he could see it in her eyes that were plotting and scheming ways to get them to talk. It only reaffirmed his love of her.
But she could have been a bit more gentle with her tactics.
"You know, he didn't tell me for a while either. He told me he loved me before he told me… the other thing.", she said lightly, grasping his hand when the substance came into contact with her torn skin.
May didn't say anything for a while, and then:
"But he did tell you. A courtesy he didn't extend to me."
Peter opened his mouth to reply, but she beat him to it.
"He's your boy. He loves you. And he knows how you worry."
It was unreal, how they were talking about him like he wasn't sitting right there. He was mesmerized.
"And you don't worry?", May asked.
"I don't sleep sometimes. But I'm young, May. I can handle the stress.", she pointed out kindly in return, alluding to the known blood pressure issues the older woman had been having lately.
It wasn't only that, of course, but Peter appreciated everything she was doing anyway. Watching them converse on the topic of his vigilantism and being privy to inner thoughts like this was strange enough. Peter was aware, somewhere within himself, that these must've been the feelings his loved ones had with regard to his activities. He was aware, but hearing them directly as though a spectator… that was different. It brought a sort of mist to his eyes.
And with his aunt - his mother - looking so stern and troubled by the revelation he just sprung on her, it was easy to let the guilt flood him.
"And I suppose that's why he didn't say a word to me? Because I'd be so stressed I'd keel over and d -"
"No!", Peter interrupted loudly.
May stopped her task, looking up at Peter with a glare for the ages.
"Peter Benjamin Parker, you do not shout at me when I'm giving your girlfriend stitches! Or ever!", she exclaimed.
The effect was immediate, and it truly was a sight to behold - how quickly he backed down. Beside him, a chuckle resounded that couldn't be reigned in. Great. Now he was going to get a dressing down with the love of his life right there.
"May, I -"
"You listen to me: I am not disappointed in you. Let's get that out of the way first, because you are my boy, and I do love you. But you've been lying to me for years, and I'm hurt. The one thing you have going for yourself in this situation is a very good advocate."
Peter didn't dare look away, nodding his head rapidly.
"And if I wasn't sure that she's keeping you out of trouble, you'd be in the doghouse.", May continued.
"She does. She does keep me out of trouble. I take days off now because of her, so I can heal when - "
Another glare from May made him swallow his words, continuing instead with another line of thought.
"I really wanted to tell you, I promise. I never wanted to keep this a secret, but I had to, May. I have to keep the people in my life safe. You two are all I have.", Peter confessed, feeling his jaw tremble with the sincerity of his words.
He noticed in May a similar vulnerability, but she was much stronger than him. She always had been.
"And she isn't in danger because she knows?"
"Well yeah, but - it'd be really hard to keep it a secret and sneak out of bed every night -"
"Peter!", both of them said simultaneously, one more scandalized than the other.
"What? It's the truth! I'm trying to come clean here!", he defended, earning himself an elbow in the side.
Whatever was going to be said next, it never saw the light of day. In an instant, Peter stood up straight and brought both women to the floor by the shoulders, shielding them right before an explosion shook the entire house. The event brought all of them back to the present, where a catastrophe was currently unfolding that had been blissfully forgotten for a few minutes.
Checking through a small opening in the kitchen window that was not covered in webs, Peter saw that the explosion had come from a house towards the end of the street, where he knew the Ballards lived. He'd known them all his life - an elderly couple whose children had already left the nest before Peter was born. He couldn't hear anything from inside this far away, but he knew the street would soon descend into the same chaos.
Turning back around, his face probably gave it all away. Their time had run out.
After reassurances that everyone was alright, May quickly worked to finish the last two stitches in the gash of her left hand and began packing up the first aid supplies. They had become essential survival tools, and though she didn't know exactly what was happening, the call she'd gotten from Peter before their arrival was enough to throw her into a state of alertness.
She wasn't yet going to ask. She wasn't sure she was ready to find out. The hushed conversation between her nephew and his girlfriend that she could overhear bits and pieces of didn't do much to calm her nerves.
The couple wasn't doing much better themselves, as the argument they were having seemed removed from reality. Neither of them could believe that they were now having to consider survival strategies without understanding the scope of the situation.
Peter was trying to reconcile with the fact that he was completely overwhelmed by the situation, and that being the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man was no longer viable when the terror extended to the entire city - quite possibly, the entire world.
They had to hunker down and wait. Leaving was only going to thrust them into unknown territory, and they'd already tread some. The woman he loved had already had her own encounters with the dangers out there, and had barely gotten away. This wasn't something to outrun, especially with no car. Needless to say, he regretted convincing May to get rid of it.
Snapping at attention, he looked into eyes that were searching his with urgency. He remembered the question she'd asked him.
"We stay. I can defend you here, but not out there. We don't know what the government will do about this. If we need to leave, we can leave, but not while things are exploding outside.", he said.
"Ok. Ok. I'll go - uh, I'll go get some stuff together and we can go - um. Upstairs? Down? Basement?", she asked, wide eyed and trying to keep it all together.
"Up. Upstairs. I can get us out if something happens."
She nodded, and from the look on her face, Peter could tell that she was starting to hear the commotion outside too.
"I'll get some tools from the basement, you stay with May and keep her calm, please. Don't tell her there are zombies out there."
There it was. He'd finally said it, and it wasn't a cheap joke. This was the new world they were descending into, and he was already finding himself inadequate for dealing with it. Still, he had to. He had precious people to keep safe above all else, and his own guilt would have to take a backseat for once. He would find ways to help others in due time, when he knew what he was even up against.
The snapping jaws and red eyes of the city were on their way now, and there was no time for anything other than action.
"Did you say zombies?", came May's question, making them both freeze in place, but she recovered first.
"May, we'll explain everything, don't worry. But I really need your help getting some things together, yeah? C'mon, we need to hurry."
He would never have been able to do this on his own. Despite her worries from earlier, his girl kept proving that not only was she helpful, she was what kept him together during times of high stress. Seeing her so careful and attentive and protective with May was not a new sight, but it did reinforce already intense feelings.
He never imagined this being a thing he might live through, but now that it was, he couldn't have had a better partner to navigate it with.
With another look to her and his aunt, he nodded his signal and motioned to the web shooter on her wrist, taking her hand and tightening the clasps on the device before kissing her closed fist.
"You be careful, yeah? I'll come up as soon as I get everything. Stay away from the windows.", he instructed.
Looking up at him with a tiny smile, she nodded her confirmation and leaned in for a brief kiss, whispering her own instructions along with a declaration of trust.
They'd face this together, whatever it came to, and they'd come out the other side to whatever it held.
For now, they'd have to get through the first day of the zombie apocalypse.
- fin -
A/N: this is a stand alone story, but it will very likely get a part two, because I just can’t help myself. As always, thank you for reading. Your thoughts and comments are forever welcome and much appreciated, whatever form they may arrive in. Wishing everyone a great week :)
Also, I wrote this in the past tense, which I am not used to anymore, so you might notice tenses slipping back to the present. I did my best through editing to catch all of them, but there might be some left.
You've Begun To Feel Like Home
Pairing: Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson
Rating: Explicit (E)
Notes: Y'all the idea to make Eddie and Steve childhood friends is a favorite of mine, so I decided to change it up and make the entire Fruity Four childhood friends, instead. If you like that dynamic, you're going to love this one!
Word Count: ~14.5k
Warnings: There are brief mentions of cancer, death, and addiction. Do what's best for you if any of that makes you feel a certain way!
Eddie is 6 years old when he first meets Steve; the boy is beautiful and covered in dripping chocolate ice cream. They're instant friends, spending the entirety of that summer together. When the end of their time together starts to draw near, Eddie comes up with a plan - to marry his best friend. It becomes a trend that Eddie and Steve dance around for more than 20 years of ups, downs, and tragedies. Read to find out what happens when a ring pop and a handful of fake marriages changes both of their lives.
Or - 5 times Eddie & Steve were fake married and the one time they finally get hitched (for real)!!
When his mom first told Eddie about an entire summer in Hawkins with Uncle Wayne, he wasn’t all that excited by the prospect. At the fresh age of six, summer was the epitome of freedom and the small trailer his uncle lived in didn’t shout “fun time” like his parent’s trip to California did. Eddie loved his uncle but the beach his parents were talking about seemed pretty cool. Regardless of his feelings on the matter, Eddie was dropped off in Hawkins the day after school finished for the year, no argument or debate allowed.
After a thorough exploration of his new home for the next couple of months, Eddie was happy to see a TV in the corner with what looked to be a pretty decent stack of tapes to try. They also passed a park not too far from the trailer park on their way into town that Eddie couldn’t wait to check out. By the time his parents left, Eddie didn’t spare them a backwards glance or second thought – despite his initial distaste in the situation, Eddie was sure Wayne’s place for a few weeks wouldn’t be the worst way to pass the time.
That thought was further driven home by Wayne’s effort to entertain Eddie in his free hours between busy work shifts. They went to the park with great swings, the movies that served super fresh popcorn, even the ice cream parlor that had what seemed like a billion flavors. That was his favorite place in town so far – whenever he got the chance, Eddie asked to go to Paul’s Parlor for a double scoop of mint chocolate chip.
One such Tuesday afternoon, Eddie was surprised to see another kid his age there. Until that moment, Eddie was sure that Hawkins didn’t have other kids living in it. The park was always empty when Wayne took him. While Eddie was a professional at playing on his own, the prospect of having a friend had him wandering towards the boy with big brown hair scattered everywhere on his head and eyes the color of leaves changing in the fall. It didn’t hurt either that his shirt was Spider-Man red with the superhero emblazoned across the front.
Not really knowing how to approach, Eddie stayed a few feet behind the boy for a while, watching him with interest as he licked chocolate off of his hand. The cone he was holding was dripping brown streaks down his arms, making Eddie laugh despite himself. The biting technique the boy was using was silly and obviously ineffective. Eddie’s noisy outburst was enough for the boy to turn around with a defensive look on his face. “What’s so funny?”
“You’re supposed to eat ice cream, not wear it,” Eddie said, moving in closer to the boy now that contact had been made. He proved his point by bringing his cone up and swiftly licking around its edge, collecting the ice cream about to drip before it could fall. “I’m Eddie.” He stuck his hand out like Wayne did whenever he bumped into other adults worth his time. Eddie remembered Wayne called it etiquette.
Read the rest on A03
Scenes from December (24/24)
Klaine Advent 2022 Day Twenty-Four : Burst
Beth leaned against the archway connecting the dining room to the living room. She folded her arms across her chest, thinking that she should have worn another shirt under her sweater. Demetri’s Aunt Katharine always the heat cranked, and with the fireplace going, it felt more like the middle of summer than late-December. Still, she didn’t mind so much. Demetri himself was a raging furnace and between that and the pregnancy, she had just accepted being warm all the time.
Besides - the holidays were her favorite part of the year.
Beth was used to a much bigger family -- Great Aunts and third cousins twice removed always popping up around the holidays was the norm. Demetri’s family was much smaller, but that didn’t make them any less enthusiastic a family. And the house was as cozy and welcoming as any on her side of the family.
The sleek, modern-designed house was fully decorated; the faux silver and blue Christmas tree perfectly decorated with gold and blue ornaments and bright, white lights stood in the corner next to the fireplace, where the stockings - plenty of them, each embroidered with a family member’s name, hung from the mantle. The mantle itself had a cute, little display of Santa, Mrs. Claus, and a bunch of Elvin figurines depicting Christmas at the North Pole. And hanging on the wall was a gigantic wreath that framed the oversized photo of the family - one taken just as she and Demetri had begun seriously dating.
The photo featured Demetri’s grandfathers, sitting on chairs, looking dapper in their suits, as the rest of the family surrounded them. Beth, herself, was barely visible in the back - she assumed (humorously) in case they needed to crop her out. She remembered that day fondly, as it was mass chaos, and the only one who could get them all to focus was Demetri’s Grandpa Blaine who, unfortunately, had passed away the previous year. Despite the cheery nature of the family, his absence was felt. Though when Beth looked at Demetri - and noticed the same ridiculously shaped eyebrows, over the most loving of hazel eyes, she didn’t think Grandpa Blaine was entirely gone.
Demetri didn’t notice her watching him. He was too busy on the couch, discussing the old Rudolph the Red-Nose Reindeer claymation kids movie that was playing on TV with his cousin Abby and her wife. On the floor were his brother's kids, taking turns with a gamepad, oblivious to the bizarre film that was playing in front of them. The movie was drowned out by the sound of the electric piano in the back corner - Demetri’s uncle getting schooled in piano by his daughter Emma. Meanwhile, over in the kitchen, Beth’s brother-in-law Arnold and his wife were in the kitchen - attempting to make dinner. If she had leaned back far enough, she could have seen them arguing about the turkey possibly not being ready in time with everything else.
In the dining room behind Beth was her mother-in-law, Tracy, and Aunt Katharine, setting the rarely used, large oak table with the fancy silverware. Beth assumed she wasn’t supposed to be hearing the conversation happening, as it was in all hushed tones, but she couldn’t help but listen anyway.
“I still can’t believe they said only three-to-six months,” Aunt Katharine was saying. “He was just diagnosed. That doesn’t seem right.”
“Well, they won’t operate because of his age,” Beth’s mother-in-law replied. “They’re afraid of any aggressive treatments, which, I guess is what he needs.”
“Have you told him yet?”
“No, the doctor told us that it might be easier to wait until after the holidays. I figured we could sit him down and ask him what he’d like to do.”
“Well, you know him. He’s stubborn enough that he’ll make it a hundred on sheer willpower alone.”
“Katie, you haven’t been around the past couple of years. He wasn’t doing great before Dad died. But after last year… I’m amazed he made it to this Christmas. I don’t know about next year’s.”
Aunt Katharine didn’t continue, as they both noticed that Beth could hear them. Not wanting to intrude, Beth turned her attention to the subject of their conversation.
Grandpa Kurt sat in the lounge chair on the other side of the room, snug with a knit blanket (with little bow ties) around his shoulders. He seemed to be in good spirits. Someone, earlier, had placed reindeer antlers that had little bells on them on his head, and he was using them to entertain his seven-month-old great-grandson, her sweet little baby boy, who sat on his lap. There was a burst of laughter as the baby reached for the antlers, and at the last second they were pulled away. One chubby arm reached out, trying to grab it, as both of them laughed at the game.
Endeared, Beth made her way to that side of the room sitting on the ottoman next to the chair. Demetri had always said he had been intimidated by his grandfather. But Beth adored him for his quick wit and intelligent conversation. She knew that underneath all those rough edges was a soft and sweet inside. Maybe she saw that legacy in her husband, too.
“Glad you guys could make it out to Ohio this year.” Grandpa Kurt continued to play with the baby as he made conversation with her. “The snow makes it hard to travel.”
Beth smiled. “Yes, but family’s important. We wanted to make sure we came this year.” She rubbed her baby’s back, the little boy seeming quite at home on his great-grandfather’s lap.
She didn’t need to elaborate on why she wanted to make sure they came this year. As much as he seemed to be enjoying the moment, there was a weariness in his eyes that she had never noticed before. She had a hunch that her mother-in-law was probably right. This would be their last Christmas with him. But at least they had this time together. At least he would get to know her little boy, even if it were for only a short time. At least that bit of love shared would be passed down and remembered and cherished.
Grandpa Kurt leaned forward, finally letting the baby grab on to the antlers, making the shake and jingle. The baby laughed gleefully.
“Are you having fun, Kurt?” Beth asked.
Grandpa Kurt was quick to reply. “Why yes - I’ve been known to steal focus at many a party.”
Beth chuckled. “You know I was talking to the baby. But I’m glad you’re having fun, too.”
“Clearly, the mix-ups were bound to be inevitable. Why on Earth would you name a baby Kurt, anyway?”
Beth reached out her hand to give his a loving squeeze. “Well, it was a pretty easy decision to name him after you.”
(Poly!Lost Boys x Fem!Dhampir!Nonverbal! Reader)
This is my first ever nonverbal reader fic and I tried to make it as good as possible. For the lovely anon really hope you enjoy 💛❤️.
You walked across the boardwalk, your CD of "Bambi" laid comfortably in your bag. The lights danced across your features, as the people passed and went by.
The summer heat died down with the night, leaving a comfortable breeze in its wake. While your boys wouldn't be caught dead in the sunlight, you could walk freely. You had to thank your parents and their more than unusual union for that.
Your father, being a vampire, fell in love with your mother, and you came into the world. They tried their best to raise you as normally as possible, even when you began to demand answers as to why you could only see your father at night. You would yank on your mother's dress, seeing as your inability to speak hindered you a bit as a child. By all accounts, your parents raised you well.
You strolled about the boardwalk, eyes trained to catch any glimpse of blonde and or dark hair. Your boys had promised to meet you by the carousel, though they seemed to be late, so you opted to go look for them. It wasn't the first time this had happened, so you couldn't really be angry. In truth, you reasoned it as them being hungry, and taking a group of people to a secluded area did take up alot of time. Trust me, you knew.
Black and grey colors came into view, which you immediately recognized as your boyfriend's bikes. Star seemed to be missing, as you didn't notice her wild hair immediately. You and Star became fast friends when you and the boys started dating. She comforted you in your own time of need, and you were the ear that listened when she needed it the most. You often expressed to Star that you wished you could speak. It wasn't that you hadn't accepted that part of yourself, or that David and the boys hated it...it was something else entirely.
Whenever any of your boys ever said "I love you", you felt a pang go through your heart. Sometimes, you wished to verbalize your own feelings and tell those four beautiful, beautiful creatures how they made your heart soar and your soul sing. Your thoughts were interrupted when a pair of arms pulled you close, your chest landing against Paul's.
"There's my favorite girl!" He exclaimed, peppering your face with kisses and other ministrations. Your face slowly began to heat up. Out of all your boys, Paul was the most publicly affectionate. David and Dwayne liked the comfort of their cave and Marko was a jealous boy. You couldn't count the amount of times he nearly killed a man because he either said something wrong or looked at you funny. It was endearing, for the most part. The others shot you loving looks, and you greeted them all with a kiss on the cheek. Marko jumped up on his bike, eyeing your bag considerably.
"You got the movie?" He asked and you smiled gleefully, taking the carefully sealed CD from your bag. You looked like a child, showing it off proudly. Paul pat you on the back, taking the CD from your hands. "You guys really watching this?" He teased. Marko punched his arm, you taking the CD back, looking a tad irritated. You crossed your arms over your chest. "Ow! What was that for!?"
"Stop being an ass, Paul." Marko ordered. You nodded your head vigorously to back Marko up. He smirked, before scooting over to let you sit on his bike. "You know how lucky you are, getting to walk around during the day." Paul whined. "We lose so much quality time together!" He said, exaggerating his movements, continuing when he saw the smile that rested on your features. The others chuckled at this theatrics, and soon you were riding off into the night. Your hands were wrapped securely around Marko, who whooped and hollered as they drove faster.
It was one of the many ups of vampirism, this high that you all would get when doing something extreme. Especially when you knew that you couldn't get hurt or...you know, die. Once you arrived, you immediately plopped down on the couch, while Marko and the others set everything up. They always joked about how you were a literal child at heart, with all the stuffies and old movies you liked to watch. You have defended yourself many times, presenting your interests as purposeful and just down right fun. The boys down right adored you whenever you would get fired up, especially when it came to your favorite things.
David and Dwayne were immediately to your sides, David leaning his head against your shoulder. Dwayne was perched comfortably, his back against the couch. Relaxing this way with each other, even if it was rare, was something you would treasure forever. The music began to play, and the title screen appeared. You smiled, choosing not to ask about how they got a tv down here. David looked up to you, his face relaxed into that smile of his. "Now we're gonna see why you like this movie so much." He said.
A mischievous expression came over your face, a look that passed you every time something happened. When the saddest scene of the movie came to an end, your eyes were on David. He caught you looking and quickly turned away. " Got something in my eye…" he defended as the others laughed.
As the movie carried on, you felt your eyelids getting heavier and heavier, the relaxed atmosphere doing nothing to prevent you falling asleep. Dwayne was the first to notice, gently kissing your forehead. He took you in his arms, glaring when Paul whined a little too loud. "You wake her up, and I'll kill you." He whispered, effectively shutting the blonde up. Marko and David rose to their feet. "Dawn's approaching anyways, Dwayne you think you could take her home in time?" David inquired, gently caressing your face. The quiet vampire nodded, knowing you would help him if the dawn caught Dwayne before he could return to the cave.
Your parents had been generous enough to provide a safe space for you and your boys. Your father handled everything, while your mother would bring food every time they came over. Your eyes opened, and you were in your room again, with a very handsome vampire laying with you.
Your face read of apology, for making Dwayne come all the way here. He chuckled softly, the laugh rumbling through his chest and under your fingertips. He kissed your forehead, leading you into a day of pleasant dreams.
It was indeed fun to be a vampire.
@empress-writes @jiejie-eonni-onee-sama @aurelie34-43 @pat-hockstetters-fridge @struggling-bee @tea-is-at-8-pm @fandoms-are-my-friends-1321
Always You ~ Matthew Tkachuk
Summary: No matter how many times you tried you were never able to officially end the relationship you had you with Matt.
Word Count: ~9.5k
Warnings: implied smut, references to an abusive relationship.
A/N: I’ve been gone from Tumblr for so long that I literally don’t even know if people read hockey fics anymore but I’ve been bored and wanting to write so I’m going to post it anyway.
Matt was your first everything.
He was your first serious boyfriend, the boy in your ninth grade English class who made your stomach flutter and your cheeks flush every time he looked in your direction. He asked you to the movies beside your locker after school one Friday afternoon and you barely knew how to say yes.
He was your first kiss, on the picnic table beside the school on your lunch break. And maybe it wasn’t the most romantic moment. You had been caught off guard, not knowing what to do with your lips or your hands or hell, any other part of your body. But somehow it was still perfect.
He took your virginity two years later. Your parents were out for a date night and you invited Matt over, spending the entire first half of the day hyping yourself up to finally do it. And it was awkward and clumsy and you were a little disappointed when you didn’t suddenly feel like a brand new person after losing your virginity. But you wouldn’t have traded it for any other experience, because you were with Matt and he made you feel safe and comfortable and you loved him so incredibly much for a sixteen year old.
The two of you went to every school dance together. You watched him play hockey every chance you got. You told each other every little secret about your lives, all your hopes and dreams and fears and regrets. You spent countless summer nights lying on the grass and counting the stars, making wishes you knew would never come true. He would sneak into your bedroom window late at night as often as he could and when he didn’t your bed seemed to feel just a little less comfortable.
You two were supposed to be together. That’s what everyone said, that’s what you two always thought. Four years together couldn’t just be thrown away, couldn’t just mean nothing.
That was until the last few months of your senior year of high school. You had received your letter of acceptance from Stanford in April. Your dream school, the one acceptance that you wanted more than anything but expected not to get. There it was, right in front of you. Yet you didn’t tell Matt about it for weeks. You couldn’t. It meant you would be leaving him. But you also knew that Matt would be leaving too. With the NHL draft just months away the clock was quickly counting down on the time you two realistically had left.
You told him in the car, on the way to the movie he was taking you to see one Saturday night.
“I’m going to Stanford.” The two of you were stopped at a red light, your head facing forward the entire time you said it, not bringing yourself to look Matt in the eyes.
Matt turned his head to look at you, silent for a second before a quiet, “what?”
“I got accepted,” you replied, voice wavering slightly. “I’m moving to California in September, Matt.”
“I, um, California…wow, I guess, I, um, congratulations,” he stammered, eyes still focused on you.
You watched as the red light turns to green, counting to ten in your head as you sat there, not moving. “Matt, the light,” you whispered, finally turning your head to look at him. And when you did you noticed the glossy layer over his eyes.
You didn’t go to the movie that night. The two of you drove to one of your favourite lookouts, sat on the grassy patch and stared at the lights of the city as you talked about your futures. Finally you came to a decision. One last summer. One final, incredible summer and then the two of you would go your separate ways. Long distance never works, especially for such a long amount of time.
And it was a good summer, at least for the most part. Because amongst the great times there were the moments of realization that it was all ending soon.
But it didn’t end, at least not fully. Because the first time you were both back in town you two couldn’t stay away from each other.
November 23, 2016
You feel your phone vibrate against your stomach while you were laying on the couch in your family home, back for the week for Thanksgiving break. Picking it up your eyes focus on the name on your screen. ‘Matt’ and right beside it was the little red heart you had yet to bring yourself to get rid of. It wasn’t surprising to see his name, you two had been talking since the summer, keeping up with all the new things happening in your lives. It was the words that were surprising ‘you’re home?’
Quickly unlocking your phone you type your answer immediately. ‘For thanksgiving, how did you know that?’
The three dots appear on the bottom of your screen immediately. ‘you haven’t blocked me from seeing your snap stories yet lol’
‘I forgot I posted that on there’ ‘I would never block you’
‘until you get a new boyfriend’
Rolling your eyes you sit up on the couch, tugging the blanket up with you. The blanket Matt had bought you one Christmas and you refused to use any blanket since. ‘Still won’t block you, I’ll make you see it all’
‘you’re kinda mean now’ ‘but what are you doing tomorrow night?’
‘I don’t know, haven’t thought that far ahead, why?’
‘come watch my game’
You feel your heart begin to hammer reading those words and your shaky hands fumble to press the call button on your phone.
“Hi baby,” Matt answers, the same way he always answered your calls, even now, months after your breakup.
“Where are you?” You ask, too eager to start with small talk.
“We just landed in St. Louis, heading to the hotel with the team now,” Matt says, his voice light and cheerful. “You going to come to my game?”
“Matt,” you croak, your eyes welling with tears.
“Hey, woah, are you crying?”
Giggling you reach up, wiping the moisture from your eyes. “No,” you lie, your voice giving it away immediately.
“I didn’t think you’d hate the idea that much, you don’t have to come,” Matt jokes.
“No, I want to. I just,” you say, trailing off as you stare down at the blanket on your lap. “I miss you so much, I didn’t think, I didn’t think I would get to see you again.”
“I don’t know,” you whisper.
“Well I knew that wasn’t going to happen. We’re just about to get to the hotel though, I’ll text you about the tickets for tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay,” you tell him, smiling softly. “I love you.” You hadn’t really meant to say it, the words came out of your mouth before you even knew what you were saying. But you still meant them and in that moment you didn’t even try to take them back.
“I love you too.”
You had a hard time falling asleep that night, tossing and turning and thinking about the next day. Thinking about Matt. Thinking about telling him you loved him, that he had said it back. When you woke up the next morning you were filled with a giddy excitement, racing downstairs to find your mom in the kitchen making coffee.
“Good morning,” you tell her cheerfully, resting your elbows on the countertop and watching her turn around to look at you skeptically.
“A little energetic for eight in the morning aren’t we? What are you so happy about?”
“I’m going to see Matt play tonight,” you tell her, sliding onto the barstool that was beside you.
“He’s in town?” She asks, her voice skeptical. “You two are still talking?”
“Yeah, he um, he told me yesterday. We still talk a bit,” you mumble, feeling a sudden wave of defensiveness wash over your body.
“I thought you two broke up? I thought that’s why you spent the last week of the summer crying on the couch.”
“I-,” you begin, eyes widening as you stare at her. “Why are you like, mad at me about this?”
“I’m not mad,” your mom breathes out, pouring two mugs of coffee. Walking over she sets one down in front of you. “But it’s only going to hurt more if you keep drawing this out and I don’t want to see you get hurt. You’re at Stanford now, you’re doing amazing in your classes, you’re meeting new people. Don’t let being hung up on a boy stop you from experiencing new things.”
“He’s not just some boy, mom,” you retort, fingers running over the hot side of the mug in front of you. “I still love him.”
“I know, and I’m sure you will for a long time and it’s going to hurt. It’s going to hurt a lot, but if you don’t deal with that now it’s only going to get worse.”
Swallowing heavily you feel the sting of tears in your eyes. “I don’t want to to lose him…I can’t. I can’t lose him when I still love him this much.”
A heavy sigh comes from your mom before she walks around the kitchen to stand beside you, pulling you into a tight hug. “Okay,” she whispers. “Whatever you feel like you need to do, I’m here for you.”
Later that day you were sitting in the stands of Enterprise Center watching the game with Matt’s family. For so long Matt’s family had become like a second family to you and now that you were with them again it felt like you were right back where you had been just months ago.
You watched the Flames beat the Blues that night and even though you spent your entire life cheering for the Blues you were elated. You made your way out to your mom’s car that you had borrowed for the night, parked next to Matt’s family.
“Matt isn’t leaving till tomorrow,” Brady says after the rest of his family had gotten into their car.
You drop your hand from the door handle of your mom’s car, letting the door half close again. “Okay,” you say quietly, drawing the word out as you stare at Brady.
“You should try try to see him tonight.” Brady glances back into the car, stepping a little closer to you. “He’ll kill me for telling you this so don’t tell him I said anything, but he’s still in love with you.”
Smiling softly your eyes drop to the ground for a second. “I know, Brady,” you whisper. “I’m still in love with him too.”
“No, he’s like really still in love with you, just as in love with you as he used to be. He talks about you all the time,” Brady clarifies. “Don’t get me wrong, you’re like a sister to me and I care about you and all but I would love to be able to talk to my brother without you coming up just once.”
You can’t help but giggle at his last comment, leaning over and giving him a quick hug. “I’ll call him.” Pulling back you reach over and open your car door. “Thank you…and sorry for being the topic of your conversations,” you tease as you get into the driver’s seat.
“Just go cheer him up.”
“Ew,” you whine, shaking your head.
“That’s not what I meant,” Brady calls as you close the door, chuckling.
Pulling out of the arena parking lot you drive to the lookout you and Matt used to hang out at when you were in your last year of high school. Sighing you put the car in park, staring blankly at the view in front of you. Your mom’s words were fighting against what Brady had just told you. Maybe it would be easier to walk away now, it would hurt more now. But would it be less painful in the long run?
Eventually you turn the car back on, your eyes burning with the threat of tears. By the time you get back to the house you’re almost sobbing, the driveway a safe haven where you let it all out. You don’t even know how much time has passed until your mom is pulling the car door open and tugging you out and into her arms. “You’ll be alright, I know it hurts now.”
Matt left the next morning with nothing more than a congratulations text from you. You got a text from Brady that evening, asking what happened. All you could manage to tell him was that you needed some space. You couldn’t bring yourself to tell him that you loved Matt too much to keep stringing yourself along like that.
December 24, 2016
“Thank you,” you say, collecting the bag of last minute gifts.
“Merry Christmas Eve,” the young girl behind the till says cheerfully.
Smiling you say a polite ‘you too’ before leaving the store and stepping back into the chaos of the last minute shopping at the mall.
Whirling around you come face to face with the one boy you had spent the last four months thinking about. “Matt,” you whisper, taking a few steps closer to him. Your body is on autopilot as you wrap your arms around him, body immediately melting into him.
“Hi baby,” he whispers in your ear, arms wrapped around you, tugging you closer against him. The sound of him calling you baby still made your eyes well up with tears. “Doing your Christmas shopping?”
Sniffling softly you pull back, blinking away the tears. “Just some last minute stuff.”
Glancing down you notice Matt’s empty hands. “Have you even started?”
“I just got home a couple hours ago,” Matt tells you, chuckling. “I don’t know what to get anyone,” he admits.
“Do you need help?” You offer, having helped him with birthday and Christmas presents for his family for many years.
Matt reaches over, pulling you back into his arms, pressing his lips to your forehead as he does so. “Yes, please,” he chuckles.
You spent the rest of the afternoon helping Matt pick out presents. It all felt so comfortable, like you hadn’t spent four months away from each other.
“Are you just going home now?” Matt asks, standing beside your car after you pull all your bags into the trunk.
Looking up at him you shrug. “I was going to.”
“So you don’t want to come home and help me wrap all these presents?”
Giggling you look at Matt’s hands, full of bags. “You are terrible at wrapping presents.”
“So are you going to help me?”
“Yeah, I’ll meet you at your house,” you tell him, opening your car door and getting in.
You’re at Matt’s house in twenty minutes, pulling into the driveway behind him. Walking into the house you follow Matt down the familiar hallway, your eyes falling on Brady laying on the couch. “Hey,” you say with a smile.
He stands up quickly, confusion clear on his face. Walking over he gives you a quick hug. “What are you two doing?”
“I’m helping Matt wrap his Christmas presents.” Stepping back you look up at Brady, noticing the skeptical look on his face.
“Are you two…back together?”
Glancing over your shoulder at Matt for a second you look back to Brady, shaking your head. “No, we’re just, um, hanging out.”
“Hanging out,” Brady repeats, nodding slowly. “Well have fun…just hanging out.”
“Don’t be weird,” you whine, turning around to follow Matt upstairs to his old bedroom.
“Sorry he-,” Matt starts, closing the door.
“-thinks we’re still in love with each other?” You interrupt, looking up at Matt with a soft smile. You’re standing right in front of him, his back pressed against his closed bedroom door.
Matt stares down at you, his eyes contemplative for a moment. Finally he opens his mouth to break the tense silence in the room. “He knows I’m still in love with you,” he corrects.
Swallowing heavily your eyes dart down to Matt’s lips, body gravitating a little closer. “You are?”
“Of course I am.” His fingers lightly graze against yours, folding over them a moment later and tugging you closer. “Can I?” Matt whispers, staring at your lips.
“Yes.” And before you even finish the saying the word you’re leaning up onto your tiptoes, your hand resting on the front of his shoulder.
Matt presses his lips to yours quickly, kissing you eagerly as he sets his hand on your waist, tugging your body into his. Your arms are thrown over his shoulders a moment later, one hand on the back of his neck. His skin is warm against yours and you’re tugging at his shirt a second later, a sudden urge to be as close to him as possible.
“Fuck,” Matt mutters against your lips.
“Hm?” You hum, pulling back, chest rising and falling heavy and fast.
“It’s just been awhile,” Matt chuckles.
“Awhile since-,” you begin before realizing what he meant, pressing your body tighter against the bulge in his pants. “Oh,” you say with a smile.
“Sorry,” Matt laughs, avoiding eye contact.
Shaking your head you reach up, fingers under his jaw as you turn his head to look at you. “Don’t be,” you tell him. “I feel the same way, it’s just not as obvious.”
“I can tell,” Matt chuckles, leaning down and kissing you gently.
Scoffing you pull back, staring up at him. “What do you mean?”
“We were together for four years, I know when you want it.”
Leaning up you bring your lips close to his again. “So what are you going to do about that?”
Reaching down Matt wraps his arms around your waist, lifting you up and carrying you to the bed. “Matt,” you giggle as he leans down, bringing his lips to your neck.
“We don’t have to do anything, if you don’t want to,” Matt tells you, hovering over you on the familiar bed.
Pressing your hands onto his shoulders you push him over and onto the bed beside you, rolling yourself over to straddle him. “I thought you said you knew when I wanted it.”
Matt chuckles, his hands running underneath the back of your shirt, hands grasping your sides and pulling you down closer. “I want to hear you say it.”
Pressing your lips to his you roll your hips forward. “I want you, Matt.”
“You’re so fucking hot,” Matt groans, his hands on your hips as he flips you over to your back. And he knew exactly what to do, exactly how make you moan and whimper, to make you beg him for exactly what you wanted.
Rolling off of Matt, body flushed and breathing heavy you watch him take off the condom as you tug the blanket over your naked body. When Matt returns to the bed you shuffle closer, resting your head on his shoulder, fingers drawing random shapes on his bare chest. “I missed that,” you whisper.
“Sleeping with me?” Matt jokes, his hand running along your back.
“Well, yeah, that. But also just…having sex.”
Matt’s fingers stop moving and he turns his head to look at you. “You haven’t…”
“Slept with anyone else? No,” you tell him. “Have, um, have you?”
Matt is quiet for a moment, his head turned to stare straight at the ceiling now. “Well…like, it never meant anything, I just, you know…”
You try to swallow the lump in your throat, you vision blurring with tears as you shift away from Matt on the bed. “Oh,” you whisper, sitting up and staring at the wall in front of you.
“I’m sorry, baby, but we were-“
“We were broken up, I know, Matt,” you mutter, tossing the blanket off your body. “Don’t apologize.”
As you swing your legs off the edge of the bed Matt reaches over, grabbing your hand. “I’m sorry, wait, it didn’t mean anything. I didn’t even like it, baby, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you, I didn’t think we were going to be doing this again, I just-“
“Matt, stop,” you exclaim, shaking your arm away from his grasp. Standing up you begin yanking your clothes on, sniffling quietly and blinking quickly in a futile attempt to hide your tears. “You have nothing to apologize for. We were broken up, we’re still broken up. This didn’t mean anything either so just forget it, okay?”
“Hey, hey, hey,” Matt says, scrambling out of bed as he yanks on his boxers. “What do you mean? Fuck, I just told you I still love you and you’re going to say this meant nothing?”
“I have to go.” Grabbing your purse off the ground you swing it over your shoulder, hand on the doorknob yanking it open a moment later. You race down the stairs faster than you ever have before, your teary eyes meeting with Brady’s as you get to the living room. All he has to do is say your name before the tears begin rolling down your face. Shaking your head you use your sleeve to wipe your eyes. “Sorry, I can’t talk,” you mutter before Brady has the chance to ask anymore questions.
And with that you were on your way out of the house, into your car and back to your house before you could let yourself completely fall apart. When you walked through the front door your mom let you fall apart in her arms about Matthew yet again, promising you that everything would be okay, again.
June 2, 2017
The water in the hot tub was warm against your skin, the can of cider cold against your lips. You didn’t know what time it was anymore and you sure didn’t care enough to ask. You were home for the summer and for the first time in ten months you weren’t worried about a school project or an upcoming exam.
Most of your friends were all back for the summer too and you were so happy to feel like you were back at home.
“Don’t you dare,” you laugh, grabbing Alex’s arm as he threatens to pour his ice cold beer onto you. “You wouldn’t waste your alcohol anyway,” you add, pushing him away.
“It’s fucking Natty Light, don’t think I won’t waste a couple bucks.”
“To what? Make me miserable?” you joke, sliding away from him in the hot tub.
Alex chuckles, giving in and leaning against the back of the hot tub. “Matt would kill me anyway, nobody can do anything to his girl,” he mutters under his breath before taking a swig of his beer.
“What?” You ask, voice wavering as you stare at Alex.
“Matt’s here,” he tells you, eyebrows raising. “Shit, you didn’t know. He was inside when I went to grab another beer.”
You glance over at the sliding glass door, watching as Matt walks through it with impeccable timing. You let out a shaky breath, pressing your hands into the side of the hot tub as you climb out, grabbing your towel off the chair next to you. After Christmas your conversations with Matt became less frequent. You only ever replied to every few messages and you tried so hard to distance yourself from him.
“Y/N,” Matt says, walking towards you with conviction.
“Hi,” you say, wrapping your damp body with the beach towel. “I didn’t know you would be here.”
“I didn’t know you would be here,” he echoes. “Did you not want to see me?”
“I didn’t say that,” you mutter, fiddling with the edge of the towel. “Are you home for the summer?”
“A couple months, yeah.”
Nodding you look around, trying to find some distraction to give yourself enough time to compose yourself. “That’s good…nice, that you get to, um, spend time with your family and all,” you stammer, stepping away from him. “I have to go.”
You begin to spin around but before you have the chance to go anywhere Matt has your hand in his, pulling you back to face him. “No, I’m not letting you walk away without talking to me this time. I did it at Christmas and I’ve regretted it ever since.”
“What do you want me to say, Matt?” You ask, shaking your head. “That I still loved you in December? That I hadn’t even kissed another guy at that point? That deep down I was still hoping that somehow, someway we could be together? Like we still had a shot,” you snap, ripping your hand out of his. “If that’s what you wanted to hear then there you go.”
Matt glances around, noticing the few people in the backyard staring at the two of you now. “I didn’t, fuck, I don’t know,” he whispers, stepping closer as if there was any hope of keeping the conversation on the down low now. “I’m sorry about Christmas, I should have told you before we slept together. But I want to know about now.”
Matt takes a deep breath, shrugging. “What are your feelings now?”
“You think I’m still fucking in love with you?” You ask, sniffling softly. “Because I’m not,” you lie, stepping around him and heading inside.
You’re heading down the hallway with your clothes to change out of your bikini when you sense someone following you. Glancing back you see Matt walking quickly towards you. “You mean it?”
“That I don’t love you anymore?” You ask, pushing the bathroom door open.
“Yeah,” Matt answers, leaning against the door frame and watching you set your clothes down on the counter.
“It doesn’t really matter,” you tell him, reaching around behind your back and yanking at the string of your bikini, wishing you hadn’t double knotted it. It probably would have been easier to deal with accidentally flashing your friends than fumbling to untie it now in front of Matt.
“Here,” Matt says, stepping into the bathroom and standing behind you. His fingers quickly undo the knot on your bikini, his eyes moving up to look at you through the mirror. You can feel the tension building as you stare at each other uncertainly. “Do you?”
“I think so,” you finally whisper, turning around to look up at him.
Matt nods, leaning down till his lips were hovering over yours. “Me too.”
Bringing your hand to the back of his neck you press your lips to his, kissing him desperately. You had been with other guys this time, you had tried different things, met new people. But nothing ever felt as good as being with Matt. Keeping your lips pressed to his you fumble your way to the bathroom door, pushing it shut and locking it.
The summer felt much like your last, most days spent with Matt. You would have beach days with your friends, partying many of the nights away. Some mornings you two would go for runs before the day became too hot and then the two of you would sit around in one of your backyards, taking turns under the shade of the umbrella so your skin wouldn’t burn too bad. You would spend nights curled up in bed, watching countless episodes of shows on Netflix or starting movies you never finished before becoming distracted by each other.
But of course it had to come to an end. And with the end you were back to being an emotional mess, grieving the end of the relationship for the third time.
December 25, 2017
“I love your dress, Annie,” you say to your six year old cousin sitting on the couch in your living room. Your family was having Christmas dinner at your house this year and it was crowded with relatives you only saw a few times a year.
“Thank you,” her small voice says shyly.
Sitting down beside her on the edge of the couch you carefully smooth out your own dress. “Is it new?”
“Mommy bought it for me for today.”
“Oh wow, well it’s beautiful.” As you lift your head to take a sip of your drink you notice your mother waving at you from across the room. “I’ll talk to you later, okay?”
“Okay,” Annie mumbles, leaning back against the couch.
“Matthew is here,” your mom tells you as you approach. “He’s waiting outside.”
“You wouldn’t let him come in?”
“Y/N,” your mom deadpans, shaking her head. “Of course I told him to come in, he insisted on waiting out there for you.”
Nodding you head down the hall and open the door, seeing Matt standing in the cold winter air. “Didn’t want to come inside?”
“I didn’t realize you were having everyone over tonight,” Matt admits, watching you step outside and shut the door behind you. “You look amazing,” he tells you as his eyes run up and down your body.
Smiling gently you glance down at the dark red wrap dress you had on. “Thanks,” you whisper. “How long are you in town for?”
“Not long,” Matt tells you, fumbling with a small bag he had in his hands. “We didn’t get as much time off this year. I got here last night and fly out again tomorrow night. But I wanted to see you.” Extending his arm he brings the gift bag towards you. “And give you this.”
“Matt, you didn’t have to buy me a present,” you tell him, taking the small bag out of his hand. “I didn’t get you anything.”
Matt chuckles quietly, leaning against the railing of the deck. “I don’t need anything.”
“I don’t either,” you retort, watching him nod towards the bag. Opening it you pull out some tissue paper along with a small box. “Matt,” you whisper, opening the box to reveal a delicate silver necklace. Your eyes fill with tears as you turn your attention up to him. “It’s so beautiful, thank you so much.”
“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” Matt chuckles, reaching over and taking your hand, pulling you closer. Quickly he wraps his arms around you, holding you for a couple seconds.
“Do you want to come inside for a bit?” You whisper.
Matt pulls back slightly, looking down at you. “I don’t want to interrupt your family time.”
Shaking your head you lean up, pressing your lips to his gently. “You pretty much are family, Matt,” you whisper. “Just have to buy me a ring instead of a necklace,” you joke.
“You know I would,” Matt tells you, sliding his arm down to hold your hand.
“Come on,” you giggle, pulling him into the house. Inside you only have to introduce Matt to a few people, most remembering him from the four years you two were together, when you and him were practically inseparable.
Awhile later you’re standing with Matt in the kitchen, everyone else gathered in the living room. You’re leaning against the counter and Matt has his hands on either side of you, pinning you against it.
“I’ve missed you,” you whisper, looking up him through your eyelashes.
“Don’t give me that look,” Matt groans.
Giggling you lean onto your tip toes, pressing your lips to his again, grateful for the privacy in the kitchen. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” you tease.
“I’m not joking,” Matt mutters. “i’m going to have to go cool off in a second if you don’t stop.”
Glancing over towards the stairs you press your hands against his shoulders, pushing him back so you can slip out from against the counter. “I’ll help you cool off.”
Quickly you scurry up the stairs with Matt to your bedroom, closing and locking the door behind you. “We just have to be quiet,” you tell him, still facing the door.
“I’m not doing this,” Matt says suddenly.
Turning around you look up at Matt with furrowed eyebrows. “What? Why? We spent years hooking up with my family downstairs. I can be quiet, Matt. Nobody will know.”
Matt reaches over and takes your hand, pulling you into him and wrapping his arms around your body. “Not that,” he mumbles. “I love you, Y/N. This isn’t about sex and I don’t want you to think it is. I love you and I miss you and fuck, yes, I would love to hear you moan my name again but it’s not about that.”
Sniffling quietly you pull back to look up at Matt through glossy eyes. “We can’t be together again, Matt. We live over a thousand miles away from each other. I love you too, I love you so much but we can’t…we can’t keep doing this.”
Matt nods and you watch a tear slip down his cheek, one of the few times you had ever seen Matt cry. “Go spend some time with your family before you have to go back to Calgary,” you whisper, your voice croaking and wavering.
Matt nods, leaning down and kissing your forehead gently. “I love you.” Stepping back Matt lets your hand drop slowly, hesitantly. You stay standing there till he’s walked out the door of your bedroom, till you’re sure he’s made it through the front door. Out of your life, again.
February 22, 2018
Ian. Tall and handsome, charming and funny. He was in your political science class first year, followed you on Instagram but didn’t make a move till your second year. He sent you a DM, asking if you wanted to go out one night.
If you were being honest, you didn't want to go. But you knew you needed to. Because the only reason you didn’t want to go was because you were sill in love with Matthew. But you weren’t together with him anymore and you needed to move on.
So you agreed to go for drinks one Friday night. It was so much better than you thought. The two of you talked for hours in that bar and when you finally got home that night you felt giddy and happy and like maybe things were finally moving forward.
But then every time Matt came into your mind you felt a heavy sadness in your chest because you knew you needed to distance yourself from him. You couldn’t keep calling him when you had bad days. You couldn’t keep sending him flirty messages or suggestive pictures. When you were both home you couldn’t see each other in the same way anymore.
After quite a few dates you agreed to be Ian’s girlfriend and you knew eventually you would have to tell Matt, that you couldn’t just fade out of his life.
You were up late working on an assignment for your psychology class when your phone started ringing. Reaching over you pick it up and look at who the FaceTime call was from. Matt. Sliding your thumb across the screen you see Matt show up, his room dimly lit.
“Hi,” you greet, propping your phone up.
“Didn’t want to answer my text messages?” Matt jokes.
Sighing you shake your head. “Just um,” you hum.
“It’s okay, baby, I was joking,” he chuckles and you notice that he’s shirtless in his bed. “What are you doing?”
“Just working on an assignment,” you tell him, fiddling with a pen that was sitting on your desk. “Matt, you can’t…you can’t call me baby anymore.”
“Sorry, I didn’t realize it bothered you. You could have told me earlier, you know that right?”
“It’s not that, Matt. I’m just, I’ve been seeing someone.”
Matt is quiet for a moment and you can feel your heart hammering in your chest. “What does that mean ‘seeing someone’?”
Swallowing heavily you tap your fingers nervously against the desk. “I’m in a relationship now.”
“That’s what’s changed,” Matt remarks. “I should have known.”
“I should have told you sooner, it’s just hard. I think I still lo-.” You stop yourself before saying it, your cheeks flushing as you avoid looking at Matt.
Shaking your head you wipe away a couple tears from your eyes. “Nothing.”
“Baby,” Matt mumbles, ignoring what you told him. Because he knew you didn’t actually mind, that you just didn’t want to cross any boundaries with Ian. “You can’t do this.”
“Do what?” You whisper, avoiding looking at the camera all together now, your eyes fixated on a small scratch on the desk in your dorm room.
“You can’t tell me you still love me when you’re in a relationship with someone else.”
Swallowing heavily you nod. Finally you muster up the courage and take a deep breath. “I don’t love you, Matt.” Your voice was shaky and high pitched and you knew that nobody would believe your lie but you needed to say it anyway. You needed to put those words out there, true or false to finally take the first step of moving on.
Matt is silent for awhile, the sound of raindrops on your window the only real sound in the room. “Okay,” Matt finally mutters. “I do still love you, Y/N. But I get it, I know you need to move on. We both do, I guess. So, um, I hope he makes you happy and I’ll…I’ll stop calling and texting.”
There’s tears streaming down your face as Matt tells you he’ll stop reaching out, a deep pain in your chest as you try to hold it all together. “You know I want nothing but the best for you, right?” You finally croak, your fingers shaking as you try to wipe away your tears.
“I want the best for you too, Y/N. That’s why I’ll leave you alone now.”
July 10, 2019
“Just throw it already,” Ian says, words slurred with the influence of alcohol.
Lowering the ping pong ball you turn your attention to Ian, your eyes narrowed. “Just calm down.”
“Give her a minute, she’s great at beer pong.”
You turn around quickly, your eyes landing on Matt. He was standing behind you with a beer in his hand, looking as handsome as you remember. But you had a boyfriend now and you hadn’t talked to Matt much in the last year and a half and you didn’t know how you were supposed to feel but you probably weren’t supposed to feel this rush of happiness through your body.
“Matt, hey,” you greet, stepping forward and giving him a friendly but perhaps lingering hug. “You didn’t tell me you were in town.”
“Didn’t really think that was something you told your ex now that they’re in a new relationship.” Matt glances behind you, nodding towards Ian. “Is this…?”
“Oh, uh, yeah,” you tell him, stepping to the side. “Matt, this is Ian. Ian, this Matt, my-.”
“-ex,” Ian chimes in, reaching over and giving Matt a rough handshake. “Nice to meet you, man.”
“Yeah, uh, you two,” Matt mutters, his eyes drifting to you. “I’m in town till August sometime if you want to get together to catch up,” Matt tells you.
Ian quickly wraps his arm around your waist, tugging you a little too hard into his side. Stumbling you reach over, grabbing his arm to steady yourself. “Yeah, I don’t think she’ll be doing that.”
“Ian,” you mumble warningly. “See you around, Matt,” you whisper, ducking out of Ian’s arm to scurry to the bathroom to compose yourself.
“He seems like a nice guy.” There’s heavy sarcasm in Matt’s tone as he steps into the bathroom doorframe.
Looking over you force a smile onto your lips, your hands resting on the cool granite countertop of the bathroom. “He is, he’s just drunk.”
Matt crosses his arms over his chest, watching you for a minute. “That’s not an excuse, but I think you know that.”
“I’m not trying to make excuses,” you mutter, turning around and leaning against the bathroom counter. “He’s nice, it’s just not a great night.”
“I don’t care if it’s not a great night, he shouldn’t be talking to you like that, controlling you like that.”
“Well you are my ex, Matt. Do you expect him to be okay with us hanging out?”
Matt glances down at the ground, shifting nervously. “You’re more than just an ex to me, Y/N. You were my best friend, the person I trusted with everything, I still do and-.”
“Matt,” you interrupt, noticing Ian walking down the hallway behind Matt.
Matt follows your gaze, shifting slightly so his back was no longer to Ian. You knew Matt well enough to know the look of disgust on his face when he looks at Ian.
“We’re going,” Ian says harshly, brushing past Matt to stand in front of you.
“I-,” you begin but Ian has his hand wrapped around your bicep before you can say anything more. His grasp was gentle but it still sent a wave of panic through your body.
“Y/N,” Matt says, catching your attention. “Can I talk to you?”
“Go ahead,” Ian says, wrapping an arm around your body and tugging you into his side.
“Alone,” Matt adds, eyes narrowed as he stares over at Ian.
Ian shakes his head, placing his hands on your waist and pushing you out through the bathroom door. “She’s not yours anymore, man. Just leave her alone.”
“She’s not yours either,” Matt snaps, stepping in front of Ian. “She’s her own person, she doesn’t belong to anyone so stop fucking treating her like she does.”
“Matt,” you mutter warningly, barely able to look him in the eyes. You hated that you put him in this position, needing to stand up for you like that. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” Matt says, his tone soft as he stares at you, desperately trying to make eye contact with you. “Y/N,” Matt whispers, his tone desperate.
“I have to go,” you whisper, finally looking him in the eyes. “It’s okay, Matt. I promise.”
You walk down the hall with Ian, glancing back over your shoulder before turning the corner, giving Matt a small, unconvincing smile before disappearing from the house.
December 26, 2020
“Get out,” Ian yells from the driver’s side of the small car.
“Get out? We’re a twenty minute drive from my parent’s house, Ian,” you snap, glaring at the man across the console. The man who at one time made you feel like you were on top of the world now made you feel like you were free falling in life with no way to stop yourself.
Taking your boyfriend home for Christmas. It was supposed to be beautiful and fun and festive. Instead you were sitting in your rental car fighting with the man you were supposed to trust and love and yet your heart was racing with fear.
“Get the fuck out of the car, Y/N,” Ian yells again, this time with a tone that sent a shiver through your body. And you didn’t know what you were going to do when you got out of the car but you didn’t want to find out what might happen if you stayed in it either. So you put your hand on the door handle, pushing it open against the force of the cold winter air and stepped out of the car. He was speeding off before you even had the door closed and the tears were rolling down your face before you managed to pull your phone out. You call your parents and a few friends that were left in the city but it was one in the morning and everyone was asleep.
Finally you dial the number of the one person you knew would come and get you, the one person who you felt deeply ashamed and yet incredibly comforted to call.
“Y/N?” Matt’s groggy voice answers, evident that you had woken him up. “What’s going on?”
“You’re home, right?”
“Yeah, I’m back for Christmas,” Matt tells you. “You’re here with, um, Isaac?”
“Ian,” you whisper. “I know this is insane to ask, but do you think you could pick me up?”
“I, uh, yeah, of course. Why? Whats happening? Where are you?”
You tell him the intersection you were at, promising to explain the situation once he got there. And sure enough he got there, fast enough that you knew he had to have been speeding.
“Jesus Christ, Y/N,” he says as you climb into the car, your body shivering from the cold. “Why are you out here alone? Have you been crying?”
Matt is leaning forward, pulling his hoodie off and handing it to you before you have a chance to say anything. And as much as you didn’t want to take the hoodie you were uncomfortably cold and couldn’t bring yourself to say no. It smelt like Matt and you knew it was wrong for you to love it as much as you did. “He left me here,” you finally mutter.
All you can manage to do is glance at Matt before you’re staring back down at your hands. “Ian, we were fighting. I didn’t want to do it at my parents house so I told him we should go for a drive. He just kept getting angrier and angrier and he finally stopped the car and told me to get out. I didn’t want to, but I was scared and I didn’t know what else to do.”
“Scared?” Matt asks, sounding broken. “Scared of what?”
“Him,” you whisper, finally looking over at Matt. “Things haven’t been great lately, I thought maybe it would get better, just a rough patch but they haven’t and I don’t know what to do.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Matt mutters, reaching over and taking your hand in his so gently you almost felt like the words and the actions were coming from two different people.
“No, Matt, you can’t get involved. I can handle it.”
“You shouldn’t have to,” Matt tells you, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “He doesn’t deserve you, he never did. He was always a piece of shit.”
“I’m just scared of what he’ll do,” you whisper, forcing yourself to look at Matt now. “I never thought…never thought that I would be here, like this.”
“Come home with me tonight. I don’t fly back to Calgary till tomorrow afternoon. We can deal with this tomorrow morning,” Matt suggests, leaning across the console of the car and tugging you into a hug. “I’m going to keep you safe, okay?”
You can feel another wave of tears, grasping at Matt’s arms as you sink into him. “Thank you, Matt. I don’t know what I would do without you.”
Slowly Matt backs away, his thumbs brushing the tears from your cheeks. “You okay coming back to my place tonight?”
Nodding you lean back in your seat, pulling your seatbelt on.
You’re pulling into the driveway of Matt’s family home twenty minutes later, climbing out and heading to the front door with him. The house is silent and dark and you follow Matt to his room wordlessly. In the bedroom Matt gets you a t-shirt, handing it to you before hesitating as he glances around. “I can wait in the hall for you to get changed.”
“Matt,” you giggle. “You’ve seen more of me than anyone else has, you don’t need to leave.”
“Are you sure? I don’t want to push anything.”
“I’m going to be single tomorrow morning,” you tell him, pulling your sweater off and dropping it to the floor. You knew you should be sad about that. You should be upset about the loss of a relationship you had spent almost two years developing. But you were with Matt and that was the only thing that mattered now.
You watch Matt’s eyes trail over your body, finally making their way back up to your eyes. “Sorry, I-.”
Shaking your head you reach behind your back, unhooking your bra and dropping it to the ground without looking away from him. “Don’t apologize.”
Matt nods slowly, glancing around the room as he takes a shaky breath. “How is this possible?”
“How is what possible?” You ask, pulling on the t-shirt Matt had given you before shimmying out of your jeans.
“That I’m still as in love with you as I’ve always been,” Matt mumbles, not looking into your eyes.
HIs words catch you off guard and you’re silent for a few minutes, processing it. You were still in love with him too, you knew that deep down despite trying to ignore those thoughts for the last few years. You just didn’t know he still felt that way too. After a few minutes of silence you step closer, wrapping your arms around Matt. “I still love you too,” you whisper.
February 23, 2021
“Marry me,” Matt whispers, his fingers playing with your hair, your head laying on his chest. The two of you were curled up on the couch in his apartment in Calgary. You had been there for a week now and you weren’t feeling overly ready to leave. Reading break at school. Everyone else went on trips or vacations or home to see their families. You came to Calgary to spend even just a few days with Matt.
You weren’t sure what you and Matt were anymore. After Christmas the two of you started talking more. You would text and call and FaceTime every day. Your interest in any other guy that wasn’t him vanished again and you found your mind stuck on him almost every second of the day.
Lifting your head up you look into his eyes, smiling softly. “Don’t be an idiot.”
Matt places his hands on your waist, gently turning you to face him. “I’m not. Y/N, it’s been four years since we broke up and we can’t seem to get that right,” Matt tells you, leaning a little closer. “So maybe we’re not supposed to be broken up.”
“So you want to get married?” You giggle, bringing your knees onto either side of his body.
“I always wanted to marry you,” Matt tells you, pressing his lips to yours gently. “Even in high school I knew, thought it was too crazy to say it back then though.”
“I used to plan out our wedding when I was a teenager,” you admit.
Matt tucks a piece of your hair behind your ear, his other hand resting on your thigh. “What’s it going to be like?”
Giggling you shake your head. “Not the way I planned it in high school.”
“But it’s going to happen?” Matt teases, placing his hands under your thighs and pulling you forward, laying you down onto your back.
Laughing you clutch at his biceps, watching as he moves his body over yours. “Let’s do it right now,” you joke.
“Just go to the courthouse and make it official?”
Biting your bottom lip gently you nod. “Yes.”
Matt chuckles, his hand sliding along your inner thigh. “Only if you let me put a baby in you right now.”
“Matt,” you exclaim, laughing. “I still have to finish school.”
“So I can once you’re done?”
Pulling Matt down by the back of his neck you press your lips to his eagerly. “Yes,” you finally mumble against his lips.
“Fuck,” Matt groans, his lips moving down to your neck and making you gasp softly. “What do you have left? Three months?”
Giggling you run your fingers through his hair. “We’re not ready to be parents, Matt.”
Matt groans against your skin, sitting up and grabbing your hands, pulling you up to your feet before swiftly lifting you off them. “Fine, at least let me practice making them then,” he jokes, carrying you into his bedroom and dropping you down onto the bed.
A couple days later you’re standing in front of the entrance to airport security, looking up at Matt with tears in your eyes. “I don’t want to go,” you croak, one of your hands curled around the edge of his jacket, your bodies so close to each other.
Matt leans down, pressing his lips to your forehead. “I don’t want you to go either,” he whispers, wrapping his arms around your body. “A couple more months and then you’re done.”
“And then what?” You whisper into his chest.
“Move to Calgary, live with me.”
“I can’t just move to a new country like that,” you counter, looking up at him through glossy eyes.
“Why not? You already agreed to marry me,” Matt jokes, leaning down and kissing you gently. “I promise we can figure it all out, I mean, if you want to.”
A couple tears roll down your cheeks as you nod. “Yes, of course I want to.”
“Good,” Matt whispers, kissing you gently again. “You have to go though, you can’t miss your plane.”
“I know,” you whisper, slowly pulling back. You were suddenly giddy with excitement, unable to wipe the smile off your face. “I’ll call you when I get home.”
Matt smiles softly, his hands shoved in his pockets as he watches you take a few steps towards the security lineup. “I love you.”
“And I love you.”
March 20, 2023
You hear the door open, followed a few second later the tall figure of your husband stepping into the kitchen. “Hey beautiful,” Matt says before swooping in, his arms circling around your body.
“Hi babe,” you whisper, twisting in his arms to face him, leaning up and pressing your lips to his gently. “How was the flight?”
“Good,” he mumbles before kissing you again, his hands warm and tight around your body. “Missed you guys though.”
“Daddy,” Amelia’s high-pitched voice cheers as she runs into the room as fast as her toddler legs will carry her.
Matt quickly lets go of you, dropping down into a squat and catching her in his arms. “Hi baby,” he says, his voice filled with joy as he scoops her up off the ground, holding her against his body.
“Park,” Amelia cheers, having spent all day asking if Matt would take take her to the park when he got home.
“Amelia, sweetie, dad might be too tired to take you to the park right now,” you say gently, reaching over and rubbing her back as she looks up at Matt with big, watery eyes.
“No, I’m never too tired to tired to go to the park.” Leaning his head down Matt kisses Amelia on the forehead before setting her back on the ground. “Are you coming with us?” Matt asks you.
“I was just going to tidy up and get dinner started,” you tell him, reaching over and taking his hands, pulling him into you. “It’ll be done in a couple hours if you two could be back by then?”
“Of course,” Matt says gently, leaning down and pressing his lips to your. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” you whisper against his lips.
Matt begins to pull away before leaning back into you. “And you know I’m never too tired to have fun with you either, right?”
Your eyes widen, shaking your head as you giggle. Pressing your hand against his shoulder you give him a gentle push towards the front door where Amelia was waiting. “Go,” you laugh, unable to get rid of the smile on your face.
As Matt steps towards the front entryway he pauses, turning back to look at you.
“What?” You giggle, expecting another suggestive comment.
“Thank you,” Matt says, voice full of sincerity.
“For what?” You ask, your hand resting gently on the kitchen counter as you lean your hip into it.
“For being such a good mom, taking care of Amelia by yourself when I’m out of town.”
“Come here,” you say quietly, taking a couple steps forward and grabbing Matt’s hands, pulling him into you. Leaning up you press your lips to his quickly. “You’re an incredible dad too, Matt. I can’t imagine having a family, a life, with anyone else.”
“I always knew we would get here eventually, you just had to make it complicated.”
“Me?” You scoff, your hands grasping at Matt’s forearms as you giggle. “You made it just as complicated!”
“I did not,” Matt exclaims, one of his arms circling around your waist and pulling you into him. “I would have figured out the long distance thing, but you wanted to go off to university and date other guys…terrible guys might I add.”
“Shut up,” you giggle. “It was always you,” you whisper, pulling back to look into Matt’s eyes, a sudden sincerity falling between you two. “And it always will be you.