#But when the chips were down none of that mattered I guess

[translesbiantheo]

Kinda wild to experience so directly the tropes of transmisogynist ostracisation.

[fortheloveofwonderland]

Rumoured Nights | S.R

This was written for the lovely and wonderful @foxy-eva milestone celebration. Congratulations love! 💕 I used the prompt - “someone has to unexpectedly share hotel room with their favourite coworker - who apparently really likes to cuddle.”

Set during 5.21 Exit Wounds - this ep just lends itself perfectly for a one bed fic.

Summary - a case in a small town in Alaska forces you and your favourite coworker into sharing a room and a bed. And according to Morgan, Spencer likes to cuddle.

Pairing - Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

Category - smut NSFW Minors DNI

Warnings - one bed trope, friends to lovers, sex dream, cuddly Spencer, swearing, making out, Spencer is touch starved, canon compliant death, meddling BAU team, interruptions, fingering, handjobs, penetrative, protected sex.

WC - 7.5k (don’t ask me how, she’s wordy)

“I’m not sleeping with Reid.” 

The comment was probably meant inoffensively, an off the cuff remark to make his coworkers laugh but instead only caused the youngest member of the team to blush furiously. 

Spencer Reid shrunk down in the armchair, attempting to hide his embarrassment from the eyes of his fellow team members who now all looked upon him. 

As far as he was aware, Morgan had never told the team what happened the one and only time they’d shared a room during a case. The confused looks being sent his way went to further that, thank god. 

It happened a few years back when they’d been on a case in a town equally as small as Franklin, Alaska where they found themselves now. Like tonight, the BNB was small and they’d had to double up. 

And Morgan had woken in the morning to find Spencer’s arms wrapped around him like he was the genius’s oversized teddy bear, and one of Spencer’s legs draped across him. 

Morgan had pushed the younger man off of him and apparently Spencer hadn’t even so much as stirred. It wasn’t even until a while later Morgan had filled him in on what he’d subconsciously done in his sleep. 

It was perfectly innocent. There was no more to it other than the fact that Spencer was painfully touch starved. He didn’t allow himself to dwell on how long exactly it had been since he’d had another warm body to share his bed with, but if he did he would be able to recite how long it had been down to the minute. 

It was an involuntary reaction. His subconscious must have gravitated him towards the body in his bed and held them without thought to who it was. In his unconscious mind, it didn’t matter who it was, just that he needed the comfort of holding somebody. 

He was glad Morgan hadn’t woken him because he would have been a hundred times more embarrassed if he had to remember his inappropriate middle of the night cuddle. 

While he relented to his own mortification, the rest of the team silently paired off. Garcia was quick to place her hand on Morgan’s arm, nabbing him as her roomie before anyone else had the chance.

Hotch and Rossi exchanged a look of understanding and JJ smiled at Emily, the brunette nodding back at the blonde in response. 

Spencer felt his stomach coiling into thick knots as he let his eyes glance across the room and land on you who had also noticed the non-verbal agreements taking place. You met his gaze and offered him a meek half-smile.

“Guess you’re with me, Doc.” You got to your feet, grabbing your bag off the floor. 

You tried to hide the look of sheer delight from your eyes, tried to pretend that this wasn’t the best outcome to you. There had always been something about Spencer that you found magnetic, his brain intrigued you and he wasn’t at all hard on the eyes. 

Through five years of working together you had kept your little crush underwraps, your poker face was second to none. 

So you had to play it cool. You couldn’t show how utterly thrilled you were that the chips had fallen in your favour. 

One by one the rest of the team stood with their bags and collected their room keys from the kindly innkeeper and headed towards the staircase. 

You hung back for Spencer while he procured the key and with an awkward smile he followed you to the stairs.

“Good luck, mama.” Morgan smirked at you, clapping a hand down on your shoulder as you went to pass him by. “Pretty boy here is a secret cuddler.” 

“Morgan!” Spencer’s voice pitched, around five octaves higher than his usual cadence. 

“She’s gonna find out sooner or later, kid.” Morgan winked at the younger man, causing Spencer to turn beet red again. 

You shook your head with a soft laugh, averting your eyes away from Derek and towards the bottom step.

“Uh, thanks for the heads up. Goodnight.” You started up the stairs, hearing Spencer following behind you. 

You met him at the door to your room and stood aside so he could unlock it. Like the gentleman he was, he held it open for you to enter first. 

It was you who first noticed the initial problem. When Spencer sidled up next to you a moment later he saw it too. 

One bed. There was only one freaking bed. 

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” He was quick to speak, dumping his go-bag on the dresser. 

“You’ll put your back out.” You rolled your eyes. 

“I’m not Rossi.” He scoffed, indignantly. “I’ll be fine.” 

“Spencer, your knee still hasn’t properly healed. I cannot in good conscience let you sleep on the floor.” 

“I’m fine,” he waved a dismissive hand. “I’ve been walking without my cane for months.” 

“With a limp.” You clucked. “If it makes you uncomfortable to share a bed, let me sleep on the floor, please?” 

“It is statistically improbable that I will let you sleep on the floor, Y/N.” He folded his arms across his chest in defiance. 

“Fine,” you shrugged. “It’s one night, Spence. We can share a bed can’t we?” 

For the third time in ten minutes, Spencer’s cheeks burned bright red with his embarrassment. 

“I, uh, you see…” he swallowed. “Morgan wasn’t lying about the cuddling thing. We had to share a bed once on a case and apparently I cuddled up to him in my sleep.” 

A smile tugged at your lips and you felt a little guilty given how mortified he looked. But honestly you thought it was incredibly adorable and plenty endearing.

Spencer was known for having an aversion to touch, always citing how many germs could be passed in a single handshake and how it was actually safer to kiss. So the thought of him hugging anyone made you smile, even if it was when he was asleep. 

“I just so happen to not totally hate that idea.” You tried to encourage him, not wanting him to be embarrassed. 

“Y-you don’t?” He stuttered with a frown. 

“It’s cute.” You smiled.

“I think the word you’re looking for is pathetic.” He sighed. “Who knows it might have just been a one off anyway. If you’re lucky, I’ll leave you alone.” 

Lucky? Some luck that would be. 

You hid your expression from him, the one that desperately loved the idea of him snuggling up to you in his sleep. You pushed it down, simply offering him a nod. 

You just might be disappointed if he didn’t cuddle you.

***

The two of you took turns in the bathroom, brushing your teeth and changing into your respective pyjamas. Usually you slept nude, or at the very least just in your panties, but thankfully you kept a pair of shorts and a tank top in your go-bag in case you ever found yourself in this position.

You were already in bed scrolling on your phone when Spencer stepped out of the bathroom. He wore a set of dark green flannel pyjama pants and a matching long sleeved top, buttoned right up to his neck. You smiled in amusement at him as he padded across the room.

“Why does it not surprise me one little bit that Doctor Spencer Reid even sleeps in a button down?” You giggled a little as he sat down on the edge of the bed.

“I get cold easily.” He shrugged, his back now to you. “And we are in Alaska.” 

You didn’t reply, simply watched him as he slid his legs under the sheets, his mismatched socks still adorned on his feet, and laid his long, messy hair on the pillow. He kept his back to you and he reached out and switched off the lamp.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” He whispered, tucking one hand beneath his pillow. 

“Goodnight, Spence.” You smiled to yourself as you closed your eyes.

***

It was still dark out when you stirred in your sleep, eyes fluttering slightly as you pulled the duvet further up to your chin. You would have fallen straight back to sleep if it hadn’t been for the sensation of something heavily draped over your ribcage. 

You were on your back, the ceiling staring back at you when you opened your eyes. It was then you realised there was something hard between your head and the pillow. 

You looked to your side and blinked against the darkness, trying to adjust your vision. A messy head of hair was next to you on your pillow, so close you could feel the soft breath coming from parted lips tickling your face.

It was then you pieced together that the thing that was under your head and across your torso were one in the same: Spencer’s arms. One was tucked beneath you, holding you close to him while the other cautiously rested over you, just below your breasts. 

His right leg was bent at the knee, slung over your bare thighs. His whole body was pressed up against your side and it was then you registered that something hard was digging into your left hip…

Oh, your eyes widened. Oh. 

You looked back at the ceiling, body going rigid in Spencer’s arms. It certainly did not take someone with a genius level IQ to figure out what it was. 

You tried to ignore it, willed yourself to go back to sleep and put it behind you. Maybe you were still asleep, perhaps this was just a really vivid dream. In the morning you would pretend it never happened, not wanting to embarrass the poor man. 

But then the situation somehow grew even more awkward, if that were possible. Spencer nuzzled closer to you in his sleep, his face buried against your neck. His breathing started to grow frantic and his hold on you tightened. 

And then he moaned. 

Your stomach tightened at the delicious sound, equally trying to commit it to memory and forget it at the same time. But then it happened again, the sound deeper this time. There was no denying it was a moan of pleasure. 

The third time he made the sound it was followed by the whimpered utterance of the word fuck. 

And when his hips started to gesticulate, grinding his hardness against your hip, you had to do something. 

“Spence?” You hissed, wriggling in his arms. “Spencer, wake up!” 

His eyes shot open suddenly and he huffed out a breath. His eyes were hooded with his sleep, his plump lips parted in confusion. 

For a few moments he just laid there, not registering his position or the bulge in his pyjama pants. He simply stared blankly at you. 

“What happened?” He groaned sleepily. “Another body?” 

“No….no. Not work.” You swallowed. “I uh, I don’t really know how to say this so I’m just gonna say it…I think you were having a sex dream.” 

His eyes got really wide, really fast. As your words registered with him he also realised he was holding you, snuggled tightly against you. And at the same moment he also realised the part of his anatomy that had woken up long before his brain had. 

And it was pressing right against your side. 

He scrambled away from you suddenly, drawing all of his limbs close to his torso and burying his face into the pillow. 

“Fuck,” he mumbled against the cushion. “Fuck, I am so unbelievably sorry. I’m going to…” 

He trailed off and quickly rolled to the edge of the bed but you were faster and you managed to grab his arm before he made it out. 

“Spence, it’s fine. These things happen. Let’s just go back to sleep and forget it ever happened.” You gently guided him back to the mattress and he flopped onto his back. 

“This is somehow more humiliating than when I cuddled Morgan. At least then I didn’t have a, uh…yeah.” He shook his head, not willing to finish that sentence. 

“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about, Spencer. You were dreaming, and apparently it was a very good dream.” You couldn’t help but laugh, trying to cast light on the situation and make him feel less uncomfortable.

It had the opposite effect.

“I really don’t see how this is funny. I’m lonely ok? I’m so painfully lonely that the only kind of physical contact I can get with a woman is in my sleep.” He blurted out, his brain not quite awake enough to stop the words coming out of his mouth. 

The room fell silent. Spencer stared at the ceiling, you stared at the side of Spencer’s face. 

It wasn’t exactly a surprise to hear. Spencer never talked about dating or anything of the sort and although Morgan had speculated he just kept his exploits quiet, you were never so sure. 

Spencer was awkward and shy and had a hard time talking to anyone he didn’t know unless it was in statistics and facts. 

So it didn’t surprise you to find this out, but it did surprise you that Spencer was offering that information out to you. 

“I, uh…” you croaked. 

“It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable. I’m sorry that I had a sex dream about you but in my defence I can’t control my-”

“Hold up,” you cut him off, leaning up on your elbow so you could look at him properly. “Did you say you were dreaming about me?” 

His cheeks turned impossibly redder and he buried his face further into the pillow. 

“I assumed you knew that part. I thought you said…'' he wracked his brain.

No, you didn’t tell him he’d said your name. He’d added that part, assumed that you knew who he’d been dreaming about. Fuck. 

“You were dreaming about me.” You croaked, staring at what little of his face wasn’t covered by the pillow. 

“Y-yes.” He whispered. “As if the situation wasn’t already awkward enough. I can just go and sleep in the bathtub or something. The lobby even.” 

“Spence,” you gave his hair a gentle tug, trying to get him to look at you. 

Reluctantly he lifted his head and his eyes were wide and guilt ridden, his bottom lip cushioned between his teeth. 

“Yes?” 

“Do you…have you…” you couldn’t seem to finish that trail of thought. 

“Yes.” He clearly knew what you were trying to say. “It has happened before. More times than I care to admit right at this present moment.” 

“Oh.” You swallowed thickly. 

“So bathtub or lobby? How bad is this situation exactly? Does the bathroom put enough space between us or do I seriously need to leave the room entirely?” 

“My preference would be that you don’t go anywhere.” You confessed, causing Spencer to frown. “I mean, unless it’s closer to me.” 

“I…I’m not sure I understand.” 

“Sure you do.” You smiled, shuffling closer to him when he wouldn’t move. “The real thing will be so much better than even your wildest dreams, Spence.” 

An air of confidence washing over you, you finally got the chance to do something you’d been imagining for years and pressed your lips against his. 

He whimpered at the contact, momentarily dumbfounded by what was happening. But he soon managed to snap himself out of it and quickly took hold of your face and parted your lips with his tongue. 

As he deepened the kiss he rolled himself on top of you, already straining at the front of his flannel pants again. This time he was happy to roll his hips against you, really allowing you to feel him. 

You gasped into his mouth and he swallowed the sound down into his lungs. He held your face with care but the kiss was all frantic tongues and the clashing of teeth. 

It was years worth of pent up sexual tension for which neither of you had ever realised the other felt too, all spilling forth against the others lips. 

You wrapped your arms around his waist, fingertips brushing beneath the hem of his pyjama shirt, he moaned into the kiss when your hands glided over his back, across his shoulder blades and back down his spine. 

His own hands wandered at the same time his tongue hungrily explored every crevice of your mouth. His touch was featherlight down your biceps and forearms before falling towards your torso and following your lead, under the hem of your shirt. 

His finger brushed delicately over the sides of your ribs, up and down and up and down the skin, his fingertips making a mental note of how every dip and curve felt beneath them. 

His teeth grazed against your bottom lip before nibbling on it lightly and then pulling away. He sat back and looked down at you, your hands dislodging from under his shirt.

His pupils were blown out wide and his lips were puffy and red. His chest heaved his haggard breaths while he fought for air. 

You smiled up at him, reaching for the top button of his pyjama shirt. He let your deft fingers do their work, popping each button in turn and moving lower and lower down his abdomen. 

When the final button was undone he shucked the material off his shoulders and tossed it aside. His long curls hung around his face, framing him perfectly and you didn’t think anyone had ever looked as delicious as he did right now. 

His own hands brushed under your tank top again, palm flush against your stomach for a moment or two before he hooked his fingers in the fabric and started drawing it upwards. 

He let out a feral moan as he peeled the top away to reveal your bare breasts beneath. You helped him get it over your head and it soon joined Spencer’s shirt on the floor. 

He was open mouth staring at you, not even trying to hide it. You rolled your eyes with a soft chuckle, reaching for him and pulling him close.

“What’s the matter, Doc?” You spoke as you kissed him again. “Never seen a pair of tits before?” 

“None that magnificent, that's for certain.” He mumbled in reply. 

“Flattery will get you everywhere Doctor Reid.” Your hands moved to cup his clothed ass. 

“Fuck,” he hummed, rolling his hips against you. “Keep calling me Doctor Reid and it’ll be over before it begins.”

You laughed at the insinuation, wrapping your arms around him and expertly managing to flip you both over so his back was to the mattress and you were straddling his hips. 

His hair splayed out against the pillow and from this angle you were able to get a good look at what the good doctor was hiding in his pants. 

You involuntarily hissed at the sight and his eyes never left your chest. His hands were pawing at your hips, cloying at the fabric of your shorts. 

You raised your eyes to his face and waited for him to meet your gaze. When he did you made a show of grinding down against his lap, his mouth falling open as a moan erupted from his lungs. 

The friction caused by his pants rubbing against him was nice in a way but he would much rather a different kind of friction. 

He reached for your neck, pulling you closer so your bare chests crashed together and he kissed you deeply. 

You continued to grind against him, feeling his hard member between your legs and wishing for fewer clothes to be in the way. 

But before you could think about helping him undress further, Spencer’s hungry fingers were trailing up your thigh and grazing beneath the leg of your shorts. 

His hand wove higher, he could feel the heat emanating from your core. His fingertips lightly brushed against your pubic bone and you whined into his mouth. 

“Is that what you want?” He spoke against your lips, his other hand gripping the back of your neck tightly. 

“P-please…” you whimpered, nibbling on his lip and trying to move yourself closer to his waiting fingers.

Spencer chuckled almost darkly, brushing his fingers over the same spot. 

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this?” He whispered as your lips latched against his neck, sucking deep marks in his flesh. 

“About as long as I have. Please Spencer, please for the love of god!” 

The way you moaned so desperately for him made his head spin, no one had ever reacted like this for him. 

He inched his fingers nearer to where you wanted them, but as he was about to give you everything you’d been waiting for, an ear piercing scream reverberated in the room. 

You fell back as Spencer sat up, ears pricked and waiting in silence that now shrouded the room. Seconds passed that felt like hours until you both heard it again. 

“Help! Somebody please help!” 

“Is that…?” Spencer’s chest heaved in panic. 

“Penelope!” 

The two of you were suddenly out of bed and on your feet, scampering around to dress as quickly as possible. You threw a pair of jeans over your shorts, foregoing your tank top and tossing on a sweater instead before your coat. 

Spencer grabbed his pyjama shirt and fought with the buttons whilst stuffing his feet inside his converse. He grabbed his jacket and scarf on his way to the door, before quickly doubling back and picking up his revolver. 

You got your firearm as well, toeing on your boots as they two of you quickly dashed from the room. In the corridor you saw Morgan ahead of you, running towards the stairs. 

“You heard it too?” You asked as you ran to catch him. 

“You bet your ass I did.” Morgan hurried down the stairs with you in hot pursuit. “Pretty boy, wake the others. Y/N and I will check it out.” 

Spencer nodded though no one was looking at him. He fell back, his hand holding the gun dropping to his side as he made his way back to the other rooms.

His head was still spinning, dizzy with the lust from previous moments ago. Maybe this was a sign to him not to cross that line with his friend. The line was blurred, sure, but not yet so much as it couldn’t be rectified. 

All he could hope was that he hadn’t destroyed your friendship to the point of no return. 

You followed Morgan hurriedly towards the front door of the inn, guns pointed in front of you. You could still feel an electric current pulsing through your veins from Spencer’s touch, your lips still tingled from his kiss. 

You pushed it aside as a blast of frigid air hit you when Morgan opened the door and the two of you descended the front steps. 

“Help! Someone help!” Cried Penelope off in the distance. 

Morgan’s head whipped around almost three hundred and sixty degrees, eyes taking in the dark landscape to find what he was looking for. 

“Over there!” He barked, nodding his head towards two silhouettes in the trees. 

He quickened his pace, so did you. 

You found Garcia on her knees on the ground over the dead body of a man. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, her mouth hung open.

“I…and he…and then…”

“It’s ok baby girl,” Morgan crouched down next to her, stuffing his gun in the back of his jeans and helping her to her feet. 

You tucked your own gun away, leaning over the body and placing your index and middle finger to the side of his neck. 

No pulse. You didn’t think it needed to be spoken out loud. 

Garcia was sobbing, head buried against Morgan’s strong chest while he held her. The sound of crunching leaves alerted you to your company and you spun around to see the rest of the team running your way. 

Hotch and Rossi still wore their usual daytime attire but JJ and Emily wore sweats under large coats. Spencer looked an absolute picture in his pyjamas, coat and scarf hanging limply from his neck. 

He briefly made eye contact with you, but you broke it swiftly, glancing over at your boss who looked even more annoyed than usual. 

“Get her inside.” Hotch spoke to Morgan. “Someone call the sheriff.” 

Emily pulled her cell phone out and stepped away to make the call. 

“He knew we were staying here. This was a big risk.” Rossi huffed, glancing at the faces around him and lingering a little longer on Spencer. “Kid, why do you look so flustered?”

Spencer’s eyes widened and you saw him swallow thickly. You looked away, focused on the body on the floor. 

“I…” he squeaked, rolling his lip between his teeth. “I’m fine.” 

And if anyone noticed his voice was several octaves higher than usual, they kindly didn’t say anything. 

***

Over an hour later you all trudged back inside from the cold. The coroner had taken the body away and you would continue your investigation in the morning. 

Penelope was fraught, never having seen a dead body in real life let alone having to witness someone die. Morgan tried to keep her calm but even he couldn’t bring her back from this spiral.

When she stormed upstairs you all watched her go. Morgan looked over at you, his eyes asking you questions before his words did. 

“Can you…?” 

“Yeah.” You nodded. 

You moved past the others towards the stairs, you hadn’t so much as looked at Spencer in the last hour. He tried to make eye contact with you as you walked by but you kept your gaze forward.

Once you were up the stairs, Morgan sidled up to Spencer who was still watching you walk away. 

“You gonna tell me why you’ve been looking like a lost puppy for the last hour?” He cocked an eyebrow at the younger man. 

“What? I’m not! I’m…tired. I was sleeping when I heard Garcia.” Spencer averted his gaze.

“I hope that isn’t true.” Morgan scoffed. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Spencer frowned looking back at him. 

“It means,” JJ stepped forward, an amused smile on her lips. “We’ve all spent the last five years trying to get you and Y/N to see what the rest of us can see.”

“And what’s that?” He turned to JJ. 

“Oh please.” Emily chuckled. “You think we don’t notice the tension between the two of you? Morgan’s been single handedly trying to get the two of you to bone for years.” 

Spencer’s cheeks instantly turned red and he felt his chest tighten with his embarrassment. 

“I…I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He turned his back on them and headed for the stairs.

“Go get her lover boy.” Morgan called after him and they all fell about laughing while Spencer shrunk away. 

He was at least glad you hadn’t been privy to that. But he didn’t relish the idea of seeing you right now, that would surely be one awkward encounter. 

***

You found Penelope pacing the length of her and Derek’s room, muttering under her breath frantically. 

You cautiously entered, not wanting to startle her. 

“I watched him die.” She spoke when she saw you. “I watched him take his last breath, Y/N.” 

“I know.” You nodded slowly, coming close to your friend and placing your hands on her shoulders. “I can’t imagine how scary that was for you.” 

“I just…” she whined a little. “When I was shot, all I could think was that if I die the last face I’m ever going to see is the man who killed me. I didn’t want that for him.” 

“You’re too good for this world, Penny.” You squeezed her shoulders. 

“I don’t know how I’m ever going to sleep again.” She pulled free of your hold and started pacing again. “Tell me something, anything. Something to distract me.” 

“Uh…” you scratched the back of your head. “You did everything you could to help him?” 

“No, not that. Not about this.” She quickened her pace, arms flailing about as she walked. 

“Uh…I’m pretty sure after tonight you can get Morgan to spoon you. All you need to do is tell him how scared you were.” You tried again. 

“As delicious as that sounds, I don’t think Kevin would be too pleased about that.” She was a blur of colour, like a rainbow flying through the sky. “Please Y/N, I need to think of something other than this horrible night.”

Goddamnit. 

You had the exact thing she was looking for, the perfect piece of information to take her mind off of this. 

Goddamnit, here goes nothing. 

“I almost slept with Spencer tonight.” You blurted out before you could change your mind. 

As expected she immediately stopped pacing, halting in her tracks and glaring wide eyed at you. Her mouth hung open like she wanted to speak but couldn’t find the right words.

You rolled your lip between your teeth, awkwardly waiting for her to say something. Slowly she stepped closer to you, eyebrows raising towards her hairline. 

“You…and boy wonder?” 

“Yes.” 

“It’s about time!” She slapped your bicep and you growled at the impact. “Wait…did you say almost?” 

“Yeah, we didn’t quite get that far.” You rubbed your arm from her assault.

“Why not?” She sounded incredulous. 

“Because…the screaming? The cries for help?” You huffed. 

“I…I ruined your first time with Reid?” She gasped. “No, no that won’t do. You are going to march back to your room and resume all previous activities. Right now.”

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen.” You shook your head. 

“Why?”

“It was a dumb idea, Pen. We’re friends, we work together.” You sighed deeply.

“Friends who are utterly infatuated with one another and have been for the past five years.” She clucked. 

“Guess my poker face isn’t as good as I thought it was.” 

“It is not. You make heart eyes at him every time he walks into a room. And he’s just as bad!” Garcia sounded exasperated. “Go to him. Finish what you started. For the love of all things pink and sparkly.” 

“Penny, I love you but it’s not gonna happen.” You shrugged. “I’m not ruining one of my closest friendships for one night of passion.” 

“Ok…I do not like thinking of boy genius and the word passion in the same sentence.” She pulled a face. “That’s like thinking of my brother…gross.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at the way her body shuddered at the thought. You were pleased at least you had managed to get her to calm down. 

“You gonna be ok if I go?” You smiled at her. 

“Morgan will probably be up soon, I’m sure he can protect me.” She smiled back. “Just let him down gently ok? Reid is fragile.” 

You rolled your eyes, backing away to the door. 

“Goodnight, Penelope.” You blew her a kiss as you opened the door and stepped out into the corridor. 

Across the hall your own door loomed. Your chest tightened as you pushed forward, hoping Spencer may already be asleep so as to avoid an awkward conversation. 

But you knew he wouldn’t be and that was confirmed when you entered your room and found him sitting on the edge of the bed as if waiting for you. 

He looked up from where he’d been staring at his lap when he heard the door close. He pushed himself to his feet, his jaw set tightly. 

“I don’t want to ruin our friendship.” He blurted out suddenly. 

“Me either.” You agreed, stepping closer to him as you got out of your jacket. 

You unsheathed your firearm and laid it on the dresser next to Spencer’s. 

“But uh…” he frowned, fighting an internal battle with his own thoughts. “Friendships are overrated right? I have plenty of friends…”

“Way too many friends.” You smiled and nodded as he reached for you, large hands cupping your face. 

“I don’t want to be your friend.” He whispered and then proceeded to crash your lips together. 

You immediately parted your lips and his tongue slid inside of your mouth while he pulled you back to the bed. You both fell to the mattress, you on top of him while never breaking the kiss. 

He didn’t want to waste a second, didn’t want to risk being pulled away from you again and so his hands quickly found the hem of your sweater and helped you out of it. 

You got his buttons undone and he guided you with a hand on your back, down to the mattress. He slipped the garment off of his shoulders and rolled himself on top of you, kissing you again. 

His hands wandered down your torso to the button of your jeans. His lips trailed to your neck and brushed along your collarbones. 

They moved lower, down to your right breast where he placed kisses on the swell of it before moving on and taking your hard nipple in his mouth. 

You moaned and bucked your hips to meet his erection in his pyjama pants. He popped the button on your jeans and you helped him shimmy them down your legs. 

When his lips moved to your neglected breast, you reached out and blindly groped him through his pants. He grinded against your hand, moaning around your nipple. 

His large hand glided back across the plains of your stomach before inching lower. His fingertips brushed over the waistband of your panties before disappearing beneath the fabric. 

His index finger located your clit and pressed firmly against it, another moan erupting from your chest. He pulled back from your nipple and looked down at you with a sinful smirk. 

He started rubbing deft circles between your legs, his nimble finger a thing of magic. Wanting to return the favour, your own hand slipped inside of his pants and you grasped the base of his cock in your hand. 

He moaned deeply, his finger working more frantically as you started to stroke him. He met your gaze, his lips parted and soft moans escaping between them. 

“F-fuck.” He stuttered, moving his finger from your clit and running it through your folds, collecting your arousal on his digit. 

His middle finger joined his index and pressed against your entrance. You increased your movement on his shaft as he pushed them slowly inside of you. 

“Jesus Christ.” You muttered as you clenched around him. “Jesus fucking Christ.” 

“Why the fuck have we never done this before?” He whined, pushing his fingers as deeply inside of you as he possibly could.

You whimpered, bucking your hips against him as he moved in and out of you hurriedly and your strokes of his member were becoming frantic. 

His head was already leaking with pre-cum and you swiped your thumb through it causing an animalistic growl to leave Spencer’s mouth. 

It was too much and not enough all at once. You needed more, you needed everything. 

His fingers slammed into you roughly, the sounds of your slickness filling the room. You twisted your fist as it moved up and down his cock and he was snapping his hips back and forth, practically fucking your hand. 

“Fuck…I don’t suppose you have a condom?” You panted, desperate to feel more of him. 

“Uh, embarrassingly yes I do.” He nodded, his cheeks flushing a little. 

“Why is that embarrassing?” You slowed your pace and Spencer slowly removed his fingers from inside of you. 

“It seems…presumptuous? It wasn’t like…I didn’t think…it’s not like that I swear. It’s, uh, a long story.” He stood up, locating his wallet on the dresser and unsheathing the small golden foil packet from inside. 

“I believe you, Doc.” You smiled at him as you shimmed out of your panties. 

Spencer’s mouth fell open at the sight of you laid bare for him. His hands started to tremble as he moved them to the waistband of his flannel pants. 

He wouldn’t look at you as he pulled them over his hips, down his legs and kicked them off of his feet. 

When he did look back at you, you were staring right at his crotch. 

Your chest heaved with frantic breaths and you were rolling your lip between your teeth. 

“Good god, Reid.” You smirked. “I need you like yesterday.” 

He shuddered at the desperation in your voice and shakily ripped the condom wrapper over. He moved closer to the bed again, holding the base of his shaft in one hand and rolling the rubber over his tip with the other. 

You spread your legs for him, welcoming him between them and wrapping them around his waist. He leant on his hands either side of your head, the veins in his arms pulsing as he held his weight above you. 

He eyed your face, an almost delicate smile on his lips and you weren’t sure what it meant. 

“What is it?” You asked him, reaching up to tuck his long hair behind his ears. 

“You’re sure about this?” He asked softly. 

“Very. Aren’t you?” 

“I’ve wanted this for so long.” He breathed. “But I really don’t want things to change between us.”

“Spence,” you brushed your knuckles across his cheek. “Things have already changed between us. But not in a bad way.” 

Linking your hands at the base of his neck you drew him close for a kiss. He moaned into your lips and you felt him finally pressing between your legs. 

He held his shaft again and guided him where he needed to be, his blunt head penetrating you, stretching you to accommodate him. 

He slowly sank into you, a long and shaky breath leaving his lungs. Inch by inch he ebbed deeper, your walls fluttering against him as your body made room for him. 

When he bottomed out he stilled, glancing between your bodies at where he was now sheathed inside of you. The look on his face was pure bliss, as though nothing in the world had ever felt this good to him. 

He lowered himself onto his forearms as he drew his hips backwards painfully slowly. But then he surprised you by roughly thrusting back into you. 

After that there was no holding him back, like a man possessed he started fucking you hard and fast into the mattress. 

He pounded against your cervix with each thrust, kissing you with a newfound ferocity. The room was encompassed by the sound of skin slapping against skin and your moans which were being swallowed by the other's mouth. 

He already knew he wouldn’t last long, but that was ok. He didn’t plan on this being the only time he fucked you tonight. 

It was completely unexpected, out of the blue for the mild mannered doctor to be such a stallion. But it was electrifying, dizzying, the way in which he pounded into you like his life depended on it yet kissed with such gentle passion.

Resting all of his weight on one arm, his other hand manoeuvred between your sweat slicked bodies and his finger pressed deftly against your clit again. 

He started rubbing intricate circles on your bud, hips still snapping back and forth, stretching your walls around his length. 

He had a few beads of sweat trickling down his forehead which was scrunched up much like his nose was. 

His chest was flushed beet red and his left arm which was holding him up shook with the exertion. 

Your legs tightened around his waist, walls clenching around his cock. A combination of his rough thrusts and ministrations on your clit we’re bringing you rapidly spiralling towards your orgasm. 

You assumed by the look in his face that he was close too and by the way in which he started to lose his rhythm a little, his thrusts becoming a little frantic. 

You drew him in for another kiss. It was slightly messy, teeth clashing together and tongues fighting their way into the other's mouth. 

He moaned deeply against your lips, his finger now rubbing against you rampantly.

“I’m s-so close.” He mumbled. “Can’t…don’t think I can…”

“Me too.” You agreed as you felt the tightening in the pit of your stomach. “Don’t stop. So close, don’t stop!” 

And he didn’t. 

The pressure was building and between his cock burying deep inside of you and his finger never letting up on your clit, you teetered on the brink. 

And then as if a volcano erupted, you reached your peak, moaning into Spencer’s mouth as your body convulsed beneath him. 

He felt you clenching around him as you came, causing a pressure to shoot through his member. He thrust deep one last time and whimpered as he felt the come shooting from his head in ropes, filling the condom. 

His hips continued to buck lazily as if he simply couldn’t get enough of this feeling. His hand fell from its spot between your legs and he collapsed on top of you, panting and sweat slicked. 

You could feel his heavy breaths as his chest moved against yours, could feel his heart erratically beating at his rib cage. 

He nuzzled his face into your neck, his breath fanning across your skin. His hips were still rolling, grinding against you not ready to stop despite how worn out he was. 

You stroked his cheek and moved your head so you could kiss him sleepily. He mumbled something incoherent against your lips. 

Eventually his movements stilled briefly before he cautiously pulled out of you. He rolled onto his back and peeled the condom from his softening member, tying a knot in the end and tossing it lazily in the general direction of the trash can. 

He shuffled a little, his arm finding his way beneath your head how you’d found it when you woke up in the night. 

You curled into him, resting your head on his chest and listening to the still slightly erratic beating of his heart. 

“I never like being friends anyway.” He mumbled, making you giggle. 

“Me either.” You slung your arm around his waist. “Whatever this is, it’s so much better.” 

He placed a kiss of agreement in your hair and snuggled closer to you as his eyes fluttered closed. 

He decided, as he drifted off to sleep, being a secret sleep cuddler maybe wasn’t so bad after all. 

***

Down the hall, Morgan flopped on the armchair in his and Penelope’s room, eyeing the blonde as she stared at her laptop screen. 

“What a night huh?” He ran his hand over his head. 

“Yah huh.” She nodded, bouncing a little in the bed as she did so. 

“You seem oddly chipper. Y/N manage to take your mind off of things?” He cocked an eyebrow at her. 

“Something like that.” A small smirk played at the corner of her mouth.

Derek sat up straight, scrutinising her curiously. 

“Spill.”

“What?” Her eyes snapped away from the screen and over at Morgan. The guilt was written all over her face. 

“You think I don’t know when you’re hiding something, baby girl? Spill.” He sat forward, leaning his elbows on his thighs. 

Penelope huffed out a breath, chewing on her bottom lip. 

“Promise not to tell anyone?”

“I promise.” He frowned. 

“I think…I think Y/N  and Spencer might be…you know.” She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. 

Morgan’s eyes widened as he stared at her. 

“No way.”

“Yes way. Apparently they almost and then, you know, everything happened. But I’m hoping that they picked up where they left off.” She was grinning from ear to ear and it must have been contagious because a smile broke out on Morgan’s face too. 

“My man.” He smiled brightly, a glint of something in his eyes. 

“What was that?”

“What was what?”

“I too know when you’re hiding something Derek. Now you spill.” Garcia eyed him up, Morgan’s smile only grew. 

“I’m just happy is all,” he beamed in amusement. “And I’m really glad I made up that story about him cuddling up to me in his sleep now.” 

“You did what?” Garcia gasped, wide eyed. 

“It started as a prank, just to wind him up a bit, embarrass him. And I thought if I brought it up tonight it would put ideas in his subconscious. Guess it worked.” Derek looked exceedingly pleased with himself. 

“Derek Morgan, you are evil! Pure evil.” Penelope cackled, shaking her head at her chocolate thunder and his mischievous ways. 

“I was just giving him a nudge in the right direction, he needs all the help he can get.” He grinned happily, pushing himself up and sighing wistfully. 

“True, I love Reid and Y/N but they are so oblivious sometimes.” Garcia shut her laptop screen and laid back against the pillows. 

Her eyes closed and as such she didn’t see the playful look spread to his eyes as his smile somehow grew, encompassing his entire face. 

“And with any luck,” Morgan shuffled to the bed made up on the floor. “Pretty boy still had that condom I gave him.” 

[fetusgooseandjuice]

Trust Me

Pairing(s): Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: You haven’t been able to sleep in a couple weeks, and Natasha knows just the way to get you to close your eyes.

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: None? (If anyone finds any feel free to message me!)

Author’s Note: Heyy guys! I know I haven’t posted a fic in like 6 months, but I got writers block and it just never really went away. I’m not sure when I’ll post again, but I’ve had the idea for this fic for a while and I finally got the motivation to write it. It might not be that good but I hope you enjoy it at least a little! Think of it as a little Christmas gift :)

Author’s Note Pt. 2: Also, this is not proofread because I just wanted to get it posted so there might be some spelling and grammar errors!

You heavily sighed once again for probably the fifth time in the past five minutes. It’s been a few hours since you and Natasha had called it a night, and yet here you were at nearly three in the morning still lying wide awake.

Although it’s not as if you were surprised or expecting anything else. You’d been having trouble falling asleep since the first night you and Natasha arrived in Norway.

Despite not having gotten many hours of sleep lately, for some reason you still weren’t tired and still could not fall asleep.

When your girlfriend came to you a week and a half ago and told you she had no other choice but to leave the states in order to evade the government after the whole incident between Tony and Steve, you instantly decided you’d be going with her without a second thought and left no room for her to disagree.

After all she should’ve known you’d follow her anywhere, but you guess it’s taken a toll on you.

You wanted to sleep, and yet you weren’t sure what was keeping you up. Maybe you were worried about something happening to Natasha?

‘What if she gets caught? Or what if we both somehow get hurt?’ you thought.

But you knew she was more than capable of taking care of herself and keeping you safe at the same time.

Even with the amount of times you told yourself not to worry, your mind wouldn’t listen.

You eventually sighed and turned your head to look at the redhead behind you. Her arms were wrapped tightly around you and no matter how much she shifted throughout the night, she never let you go.

The mere thought of that would be enough to bring a smile to your face if you weren’t so frustrated with yourself.

Deciding you’d had enough of laying there awake, you carefully unraveled your girlfriend’s arms from around you and slid out of bed.

You almost shivered at the cool temperature of the trailer as your bare feet touched the floor and you made your way into the kitchen.

The random plastic bags on the counter rustled as you rummaged through them in search of something to snack on, finally coming across a bottle of water and a pack of chips you’d never heard of.

As you went to open the cap of the bottle, a pair of arms slipping around your waist startled you. The yelp you let out made the person behind you chuckle, and you relaxed recognizing the sound.

“Sorry, malysh (baby).” Natasha said and you turned to look at her to see the apologetic look she had on her face.

You gave her a slight smile before shaking your head, “It’s okay. But what’re you doing up right now, Nat? You should be asleep, you need to rest.”

She dipped her head down to press multiple kisses to the skin of your neck, “I could ask you the same question because so do you.”

You should’ve known you wouldn’t be able to leave the warmth of your shared bed without her noticing.

“I just couldn’t sleep.” you said, making her eyebrows furrow as you opened your water bottle and took a sip. “But I know you’re still tired so you should go back to bed, I’ll be there soon.”

“No, not without you.” Natasha was quick to disagree, “What’s going on, dorogaya (darlin)? You were yawning quite a bit before we went to bed. Why can’t you sleep?” she rested her chin on your shoulder, ready to listen to what you had to say.

You sighed realizing that you were going to have to have this conversation now. Your shoulders shrugged, “I don’t know.” was all you offered.

Natasha stayed quiet, giving you the floor for when you were ready to add on. A moment later, you did.

“I haven’t really gotten any decent sleep recently, so I’m not sure why I can’t fall asleep or why I’m not tired.”

Your girlfriend pecked your shoulder blade, acknowledging that she heard you.

“How long has this been going on for?” she asked.

For a second you went quiet, not exactly wanting to answer when you remembered that now that she knew, she wasn’t going to let it go until she made it better.

“Since we left the states.” you admitted.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Once again, you shrugged your shoulders, “I didn’t want to worry you.” you said. “You already have a lot on your plate with this whole situation and I didn’t want to add more to it.”

You heard Natasha sigh and now you appreciated that fact that you weren’t standing face to face at the moment.

“I guess I’m thinking too much.” you added. “At night I finally get the time to actually think about stuff, and I worry about you and if you’re going to be okay.”

Natasha was also glad you weren’t standing face to face right now because if you were, you would’ve seen the way her lips pulled into a smile.

“Well if you’re going to worry about me then I think I have every right to worry about you.” she chuckled and you fought back a smile at it.

“I’m sorry.” you said.

She didn’t say anything for a few moments until you heard her soft voice with that hint of rasp speak up.

“Look at me, krasivyy (beautiful).”

You craned your neck to see green eyes which were filled to the brim with love and tenderness staring at you, the singular warm light above the kitchen sink allowing her to see your sad ones.

The frustration that’d been building up in you beginning to melt away ever so slightly.

“I want you to talk to me about what you’re going through.” Natasha spoke. “I don’t care about what you think I might have going on, you’re always my first priority, okay?”

You nodded as she raised a hand to caress your cheek, brushing a hair behind your ear in the process.

“I love you too much to have you worrying that pretty little head of yours all alone when I’m always right here for you.” she pressed her lips to your temple to emphasize her point. “So promise me next time you’ll tell me if somethings wrong?”

“I promise, and I love you too, Nat.”

“Good,” Natasha smiled and leaned in to connect your lips in a loving kiss, pulling away shortly after and leaning her forehead against yours. “I’m going to be okay, so there’s no need to worry. We’re both gonna be okay, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you agreed. You knew Natasha would make sure of that.

“Alright, do you think you’re ready to head back to bed?”

You weren’t sure how to answer that. Even though you were relieved Natasha knew now and you talked about it, you still weren’t even close to being able to go to sleep.

“No,” you spoke quietly. “I’m still not really tired, and I honestly don’t know if I will be until this all blows over.”

Natasha went silent for a few moments, thinking. She turned you around to face her and moved your arms to wrap around her shoulders.

“Nat, what are you—”

“Shhh,” she interrupted your sentence, “Just trust me.”

So you did.

Her arms snaked back around your waist and pulled you into her. You weren’t exactly sure what she was doing until she began swaying with you from one side to the other.

You’d danced together before, but at Tony’s many parties. Not when you were trying to make yourself fall asleep.

“Nat, I don’t think—”

“You’re supposed to be trusting me. Do you not?”

“I do, but—”

“So shhh,” she said and you couldn’t help the little giggle you let out. “You said you were thinking too much, right?”

“Yeah.” you confirmed.

“So just relax and let me do all the thinking. I don’t want you to worry about anything except trusting me.”

“Okay.” you whispered, giving in and resting your cheek on her shoulder, allowing her to move you.

A few seconds later Natasha began humming. It wasn’t a song that you knew, but you recognized it as one of the many Russian lullabies she’s hummed and sometimes sang to you before.

The way she hummed them always made you feel relaxed and peace, and this time was no different. Because soon you started to lean into her more as you became more and more weary.

Your heavy eyelids fell shut and your head found security in her neck as you cuddled closer to it, happily letting her comforting scent soothe you.

After a couple of songs, Natasha finally looked at you to find you pretty much sound asleep.

She grinned to herself and pecked your head before lifting you into her arms, making her way back to your bedroom.

“Told you to trust me.”

~ end ~

[cvnt4him]

Vengeance is mine.

...........................................

There has been a couple of knocks at your door, you debated even answering the door from how angry and upset you were with your boyfriend which you're almost more than sure, is the one that's been knocking on your door like his life depends on it. It just might.

You get up sniffling and walking to the door, your hair a mess as you had ice cream on your shirt and chip crumbs all over your robe, you looked through the peephole to see your former boyfriend, standing outside with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, a box of chocolate, and a card. He looks distressed yet still so handsome.

You sigh, unlocking the door making your handsome blonde light up, you swing the door open and try your best not to show any emotion to the display in front of you.

"hey babygirl, can we talk?" The deep voiced blonde asks weary of what you might say, he'd done something bad.. something that he probably cant come back from, but he'll damn sure try.

"what... Katsuki." You say with a shaky voice it had been very obvious you've been crying all day, considering the event that occured last night.

Your boyfriend had been cheating on you for 2 months with some white bitch, you weren't angry just..., nah, fuck that shit. you were fucking pissed. Absolutely furious, because he had let it slip that he'd been cheating on you for a lot longer than that, he'd just been cheating with THAT specific girl for 2 months. Which hurt your heart, because how could he?

There are so many strings attached to your heart and they all vibrate together and make such a beautiful song when katsukis around, he played you like a sweet violin, and you were the fool.

The lovesick fool who'd kept running back to him. After every fight, and every argument you came running back like a sad puppy with your tail stuck in-between your legs everytime.

Every.

Single..

Time...

But not this time, you were done being so in love with someone who just uses you as a warm body then leaves for the next bitch who offers him a little pussy.

You had a plan, one that would scar his bitch ass for life.

He walks into your apartment setting the gifts he came barring down on your bed, he walks towards you and offers you a slight sideways smile, opening his arms for a hug.

Your plan was set in motion, you knew he thought you'd come back, so you let him think you really were back with him, walking into his arms and wrapping your arms around his neck tight, just like he knew you would.

"it'll never happen again, baby, I promise."

But it did, and when it did, you welcomed him back with open arms, why? Because he knew you couldn't let go of him, you were so attached no matter how hard he fucked another bitch, or how mean he was to you, you let him come back to you, to hold you tight at night, he knew you were loyal, he knew you wouldn't hurt anyone.

He thought, you weren't capable of it. You were so good, yet why did he keep hurting you? A question he seems to find him asking himself far too often as he looks at you trying to zip your little Prada 2-piece.

He chuckled, as he came behind you to help you zip it up, kissing your cheek with a smile, which you returned.

The two of you and a couple of friends were going out to a club called 'le bón nuí ' it was French or something. a fun little club for every one to let loose at and enjoy themselves, get drunk, high, and let the night take them away.

About 4 months ago, you had all agreed and planned to go to the club for it's first opening night, it was going to be hella crowded and probably loud but you would all enjoy yourselves none the less.

Especially you, see you all had planned this before you found out about katsuki cheating on you, you had thought you cancelled but guess you hadn't, which is just your luck, you and katsuki are 'together' again, and you have a wild little plan up your sleeve, you're going to 'let the night take you away' as you hopefully make it into someone's bed by the end of the night, hell you wouldn't be angry if you'd gotten yourself roped into an orgie.

Once you both set off and met up with your friends, katsuki had instantly left you to take shots and get high with some of the guys, midoriya being one of them. Izuku sees your face as katsukis arm leaves you shoulder and you frown in anger.

"would you like to join us, y/n?" Midoriya offered with a polite smile, as he looked you up and down, devouring the sight bestowed upon him, you were gorgeous, your hair was done, your nails as well, your makeup looked so damn good. You were astonishing, and it took your boyfriend's best friend to let you know that to make you, for the first time in months, feel beautiful.

You looked at the green haired man as his smile was still present, his eyes finally landing back onto yours as he offers you a hand to take, people walked past you all as katsuki looks at the two of you, something making his gut wrench.

He walked back over to you, arm wrapping itself around your shoulder, as he sniffs and grabs izukus attention.

"nah, she doesn't do this kind of stuff."

He speaks for you, you push him off with a groan, walking backward towards izuku scoffing at the blonde, katsuki looks at you with a rather confused expression.

"I don't need you speaking for me, katsuki. I'm perfectly capable of making my own decisions thank you. Yes izuku, I will be joining you."

You turn to deku, making sure every word that leaves your perfectly glossed lips has meaning, as you grab on your boyfriends friends' arm.

Izuku looks at katsuki then back to you as he shrugged with a smile and walked inside.

god, you'd wished you'd known izuku was such a trouble maker, the way he had his hands on you was intoxicating to say the least. You all had already taken shots and gotten high on shrooms, katsuki really knew you better than anyone, so when he said you wouldn't want to do this he was right, you hadn't wanted drugs to touch an inch of your body, getting drunk was cool, but getting high on random drugs? You were thankful that it was just shrooms, you had preferred something locally grown than something that were man-made.

You were blissed out, dancing to loud music swaying your hips and grinding back into the green haired foe who held your body with grace, the way you two glided together was hot, the two of you were sweaty, and heavily under the influence, you felt too good to care about anyone or anything.

Izukus hands gripped your hips painfully hard, making you grind back into his pelvis as he rubbed his hips up into you, dancing and swaying to the loud beat of the music, your hands moved back tangling into his hair as his head went to your ear, whispering, his hot breath fanned your cheek and ear.

"wanna get out of here?"

You instantly agreed, turning around to fully face him, your widened eyes staring up at him then moving down to his lips, looking at his pink tinted lips caused you to bite yours, fuck how you wanted his luscious lips on yours.

He smirked, instantly getting 'fuck me' vibes from you. You wanted him and boy did you want him bad, he seen this and hell he'd even go as far to say he wanted you too, he wasn't even all that under the influence either, he was fully aware of what was going on around him, all he did was take a shot or two. He didn't bother taking any shrooms because he knew they made you let your guard down and had you in a rather vulnerable state.

He moved his face closer to yours, scooting in intensely, your noses touched and rubbed against each other as he put one hand in the back of your neck, pulling you into him and capturing your lips.

It felt so right, you didn't push him away or show any sign of discomfort, you in fact pulled him closer to you, making him groan in the kiss as he slid one of his hands down your ass, grabbing it roughly causing you to moan deeply, the kiss began to fill with more heat, passion if one would, the way he opened his mouth, trying to initiate something, his tongue swiping against your bottom lip, you open your mouth and let his tongue explore and take over you completely, he pulled you more into the kiss deepening it with every grind of your bodies.

The kiss became sloppy, and desperate, you both needed each other, and izuku would be damned if anyone stopped him from getting him some tonight. You pulled away to catch some air, your tongues that were once gliding against each other, swapping your spit with ease, disconnecting as you huff and breath in to regain your composure. A string of saliva connecting your lips and tongue.

He looked down at you thinking fuck, he's really gonna break you tonight.

You looked up at him longingly, you needed him badly, there was a warmth pooling in between your legs and it started to get rather uncomfortable. You pulled at his shoulders and whimpered, signaling what he already knew, you wanted more of him.

He smiled before leading you out of the building, no one has seen you two leave, too busy making their own terrible mistakes.

Izuku had taken you back to his place, the two of you stumbling over each others every move, hardly even making it through the door without touching and caressing one another, your second heated make out for the night containing far too much sexual tension as he manhandled you breaking the kiss and throwing you to the ground.

You were breathless, your heart pounding, racing out of your chest, as he took his shoes off and threw his jacket to the side he got on the floor with you crawling, making his way towards you in the sexiest way possible, he looked at you deep in the eyes, holding heavy eye contact while making every little move, wanting this to be indented in your mind forever.

He opened your legs causing a breathy sigh to leave your bitten lips, he puts one of his legs in between your thighs giving you something to grind on and gain stimulation from as he attacked your neck, sucking rough, and heavily bruised and pigmented hickeys into your sweet smelling skin.

He lightly nipped at the skin making you jump from the sudden bite coming to your sensitive flesh, you were already drunk but from the light pleasure he was ailing to you, you felt even more drunk off of it, feeling such an intoxicating tinge from the way his breath fanned the crook of your neck, his hot breath making you squirm.

Your eyes slightly rolled back as he repositioned you both, him now sitting whilst you were above him straddling his lap, he looked up at you with such needy yet glazed eyes, he was so horny for you and you hadn't even realized it, too blinded by your own pleasure you hadn't even thought about his.

You were always so giving you felt bad that he'd been giving you such amazing feels, yet he hadn't gotten anything in return. You were determined to make sure he felt good. You got off of his lap making him confused, had you not wanted to continue? Was it because of him? Had he done something wrong?

No, you just wanted to suck his cock. This took him by surprise. Your bold actions, the way you yanked his pants off, him lifting up so you can successfully get them out of the way, and pulled his boxers down over his cock so you could see the full girth, gosh was it pretty, the tip leaking with precum, his engorged cockhead bobbing as the pre dripped down his length, and the way his cock twitched from the way you looked at it like you were starved. You in fact were, you hadn't enjoyed sex with katsuki in a really long time, and how could you? He had slept with a variety of other bitches?

But you didn't want to think about that or anything else except for how you were going to get his thick cock all the way down your throat. You stroked his cocked slowly thinking hard about how you're going to manage getting his thick slightly veined cock down your throat in one swift move, gulping at how appetizing it looked.

Izuku groaned, hips bucking into your hand, a squelching noise already starting to be heard due to the way he jerked his hips up into you while his cock proceeded to leak thick globs of precum. You bit your lips, the noise fogging up your brain and the noises that were leaving his lips didn't help either, you were so wet it was highly discomforting, you shift your position to try to get the comfort you wish you had, but how could you begin to care about anything when you had katsukis best friends dick twitching in your hand. This was the ultimate revenge and honestly, you didn't care if izuku was angry with you for you using him for your revenge plan.

A smirk painted itself onto your face as you stopped thinking about everything and shoved his cock down your throat in one go, gagging yet still bobbing your head up and down his length in a repeated motion, deep throating him and trying not to choke on his cock with such a fast pace that had izuku losing his mind drowning in the immense pleasure you were giving him.

He was groaning in pleasure, throwing his head back and rolling his eyes into the back of his skull, he'd been given top before yeah sure, by his girlfriend, but she was pretty vanilla, she never wanted to try new things or explore out of their comfort zones, uraraka really was a stick in the mud. Hell a prude he'd say, but you, god, you knew how to suck dick like your slutty little life depended on it.

"sh.. shit y/n, you.. fuck. You really know how to suck dick huh, pretty girl? That slutty, ngh..~ mouth of yours.."

He moaned and groaned in between his words, his hand finding and settling themselves into your hair, pushing your head down on his cock. He threw his head back and a loud moan left his throat as he felt the tip of his cock manage to reach the back of your throat, you swallowed and gagged around him, spit spilling out from the corner of your mouth and dribbling down his cock and your chin, god this was such a messy display and he loved it.

It was beginning to be too much for you you didn't want to throw up on his dick. That'd be humiliating, so you moved back spit falling onto the floor in between his thighs as you caught your breath and regain your composure, trying to breathe in as much air as quick as possible so you can go back down in him, you stroked his cock, taking in a couple more breaths before trying to go back down on his cock before being stopped by him as he began pulling on your hair signaling for you to hault.

You wiped your mouth and chin off with the back of your arm confused, had you done something wrong? Did he not want to continue? Were you just not enough to fully get him off??

Nah, he just didn't wanna finish too quickly, or in general for that matter, as much as he'd love to cum all over your face and tongue, he wanted to finish inside. Fill you to the brim with his thick seed.

He pulled both of your clothes off pulling you into his lap once more, lining his cock up with your entrance, you were already wet and his cock had tons of spit and precum laced around it there was no way he wouldn't be able to slide it in with ease, except for you know the stretch, but you weren't a virgin, that should be easy! Boy was he wrong.

He tried to force his cock inside fully, only managing to get half of it in before you winced and groaned in pain hitting his chest for him to stop, he felt so good though, your velvet like walls gripping his cock so tightly. However, he was a gentleman and respected you and your comfort, so he stopped, eyes squeezing shut, trying to coax himself into not letting his hips buck up into you.

"I.. I need a moment.'

"god damn y/n, you're... shit- so. fuck..~ fucking tight."

You breathed slowly trying to calm down and take him in entirely, once you sat down on his thick cock completely you felt him twitch inside of you, it felt kind of nice, the stretch had started feeling rather good. You both moaned in union, voices going so well together, your higher pitched moans and his just as pitchy ones sounding like a heavenly song.

His cock just wouldn't stop twitching inside of you, your walk convulsing around his cock squeezing and milking him for all he's worth. He tried to regain his strength to hold out while you weren't moving but just his luck, you started bouncing on his cock making him moan in a high pitched tone, ending it with a whimper as he begged you to stop.

"sHIT! S-Stop! Stop stop stop stop!..."

He chanted to you making you instantly stop and nearly hop off of him, but he held onto your hips tight making sure you couldn't move at all, his strength bruising you and arousing you even more, shit the things he could do to you, the things you'd let him do to you.

You let him catch a breather assuring he wasn't gonna blow his load far too quickly, he sighed before giving you a reassuring nod that he was ready and with that, you slowly began to bounce on his cock, making him lean his head against the couch for leverage, he was beginning to get light headed from your soft movements. The pleasure getting to his head and putting him in such a dazed state, the plopping and slapping sounds of his pelvis meeting your ass making such a lewd noises it had you both going feral, so much so that he began thrusting his hips up into you almost throwing you off balance. The rhythm became uncoordinated, but sooner or later you had gotten the hang of it,

The room was filled with, hot breathy moans leaving the both of you, your lips gliding against each other as he shoved his tongue down your throat to quiet his whimpers, he whimpered and whined a lot normally however, he didn't wanna appear lame to you due to his incapability to keep his high pitched squeals and moans in. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders ,your hands pulling the hair at the back of his neck making him squeak, he had felt slightly embarrassed but little did he know you enjoyed it, it made you feel powerful having a man moan and writhe underneath you.

You pulled away from the heated spit filled kiss as you looked at him dead in his eyes, making him whimper lowly grunting as he rolls his eyes before they land back into yours, you were a moaning mess, you felt that coil inside you begin to turn in the right way, you were so close.

"cum with me.." you said lowly, boy that really got him going, moaning in such a desperate manner as he threw his head back, eyes rolling as he grunted and jerked his hips up into you a couple more times before spilling his kids into your guts.

You came as you felt the burning hot liquid enter you and spread inside of you sweetly. You both sighed together as your limp, tired, and sweaty bodies lied motionlessly against each others, you both just breathing heavily against each other's naked bodies.

When he opened his eyes to look down at you and check on you, you had passed out on his chest, lightly snoring and drooling, he chuckled softly before rubbing his hand over your head, scrolling through his phone, an evil smirk appeared on his face as he looked at his phone mischievously, a video beginning to play.

It was of you, bouncing up and down on his cock moaning and begging him to cum inside of you, his hand on your back rubbing up and down as he stared directly into the camera with an evil glint in his eyes and a just as evil shit eating grin.

Izuku had planned to show this to katsuki, you hadn't even noticed you were just a pawn in izukus thought out game. He was going to be nice to you, butter you up, get you drunk enough to want him, he was going to fuck you, and make you cum around his cock, as he came inside of you filling you up with his seed.

The smirk on izukus face growing wider as he pushed you onto the floor gently, laying your head back against the couch as he starts recording again, spreading your folds to see his thick, white cum spill out of your sensitive still twitching cunt.

"would you look at that...," izuku sighs as he shows the way you leak a large amount of his cum mixed with your very own, a low moan leaving your mouth, making him snicker lowly and angle the camera up to your sleeping face.

"she came so hard around my cock, kacchan. I see why you're with her now, she gives great head too."

He tells the camera, before ending the video laughing lowly as he wrapped a blanket around you before getting in the shower.

Izukus intentions with you really were pure at the beginning, he was never intending to hurt you, just fuck you, if you have hard feelings by the end of it all, then oh well, so be it. it's not his fault your backstabbing, man whorish boyfriend slept with his girlfriend who then proceeded to lie to him about it when he came to her with his speculations.

He had found out by walking in on them, well not fully. He had came into her dorm, he had wanted to apologize to ochaco for even suspecting such a thing! But when he cracked the door quietly peeking in to assure she wasn't there, he'd seen her on her hands and knees being plowed by a very handsy bakugou katsuki. It made him soo furious, but izuku was a rather patient man, he'd wait for the time he'd be able to strike them both down, he wants them to hurt the way they hurt him, and what's better than fucking his best friends girlfriend, and his girlfriends friend?

He washed his hair still smiling to himself, thinking of what he should say when he finally sends them the video.

He sighs, thinking about you, poor poor dumb, naive, forgiving you. You had ran back to bakugou every time you both gotten into a fight or argument or had "broken up", he really was playing you like the world's saddest violin.

He felt bad for you, really, he did. He wanted to show you what it's like to be with a real, man. And that he did, and he'll continue to show you, whether you end up in a relationship or not, you deserved better and he'll treat you with the love and respect you deserve.

...........................................

AN; love me some dom zuzu, but even despite domming he whimpers like a slut, he js can't help himself lolz🎗️

I'm thinking of making a pt 2 (how surprising 💀) with ochaco and bakugou seeing the video and being pissed, like bakugou n zuzu Fighting you n ochaco, love me a lil cat fight🤭 anyways babes lemme know if that's what you all want.

[lastoneout]

I don't really know exactly why I'm posting this, I guess I just want to share my joy, but y'all...the nerve block worked. My migraine went down a little over the night so I was only at like a 1.5-2 but I swear to god the second they were done EVERY SINGLE PART of my head stopped hurting. The only pain I'm feeling rn is at the injection site and a smidge in my jaw, but that's not a huge deal bcs I know the steroids take a long time to do their thing and I usually have pain around the injection site when they do this in my back, plus I did already suspect something like 10% of my migraines aren't entirely due to my neck, but like...it worked. It fucking worked.

I've been living with chronic migraines my entire life, and in the last five years, they've gotten so bad that I can't work and have to cancel streams and hangouts with friends all the time. I have migraines more days than I don't and I've never been able to find out what my trigger is aside from not sleeping well and eating lays potato chips(rip I miss them so much) or gluten or being on my period?? and on some days I'm in so much pain I can't even feed myself or shower. 8-10 is the norm, they don't go lower on their own, they NEVER go away on their own, no matter how much time I spend lying in bed in the dark with icepacks on my face. My migraine rescue meds don't always work, or they work for a day and then it comes back, and I seem to be fucking Immune(tm) to Excedrin and ibuprofen. All that together has legit been ruining my entire life.

And I am not even a little ashamed to admit that once they were done and asked how I felt I broke down sobbing in the exam room because it WORKED. Instantly. Years of pain and agony and no help from my doctors, of blaming a medical condition that treatment hasn't fixed, telling me to limit screen time and lose weight, forcing me to try 50 different medications none of which help, of spending long nights in the ER hoping they can fix me even though it's typically a 50/50 chance....and now it's over. I don't have to do that anymore. They fixed it. They fixed it.

I'm crying right now as I write this. I never thought this was possible. Like I believed that it was my neck and my doctors agreed, but I was so worried that this would all be for nothing, I didn't think it would work, I know most disabled people dream of finding the One Thing that's causing all their problems even though most of us never do, but I guess luck decided to smile on me this day, this is what's causing my problems and it's treatable. It's over. I found the path out of this hell and it was the right one. I don't even know what to do, what to say. I'm so happy I can't even be happy, all I can do is cry because the hardest part is over.

There's still work to be done, but the path is clear. And honestly @ any gods that are listening, please grant this to my fellow disabled people. They deserve to feel this, we all do.

[lifblogs]

It Does

Week 6 @summer-of-bad-batch Prompt: Battle Scars Rating: General Audiences Word Count: 993 Summary: Hunter works up the courage to ask Crosshair if the scars on his head ever hurt. READ ON AO3

“Does it ever hurt?” Hunter asked, words halting.

He and Crosshair were down by the docks, dusk painting the sky in purple and gold, the waters now dark, comfortable shadows enveloping them. The soft lapping of the water against the wood and the docked boats was soothing, which was probably the only reason Hunter had worked up the courage to even ask this.

“Does what hurt?” Crosshair spat. 

Oh, classic Crosshair.

“Your scars—the ones on your head,” Hunter explained.

“Did you take me down here just to talk about this?”

“No.”

He had just wanted a quiet moment with his brother—he felt all the work they were doing on their house recently had made it so they were always busy, always doing something. Most days Hunter appreciated that, the soldier in him always ready to be on the move, to strategize, to organize, to lead. He was still learning to take breaks, even when he woke up in the middle of the night, having a horrible fear clenching over his entire torso, and stealing his breaths, telling him he was in danger, that his family was in danger, that he was in the middle of battle. He didn’t tell anyone, but he used those moments to work on their home. Today he was just tired, so tired, and he was doing his best to listen to that for once. He had to remind himself he actually had the luxury to.

“I just think we needed a break,” he explained. “Besides, Wrecker, Tech, and Phee took Omega to that night market Shep’s hosting.”

“Yeah, that wasn’t really my scene.”

“So… the scars,” Hunter ventured again, guilt flooding his chest right above his stomach, like he’d swallowed too much of something too quickly, and it burned going down. “Do they—”

“Yes,” Crosshair admitted.

They sat for a bit, listening to the gentle water.

“Of course it hurts,” Crosshair went on. But his words weren’t bitter despite his tone. “Bacta helped to heal from it, but they had to do a skin graft.”

Hunter turned to look at his brother, to look at the scar.

“I don’t blame you,” Crosshair said. “I think I did for a long time, and in a way, I still hurt, but I see the choices we thought we had to make. What happened was inevitable. Besides, I shot you. You should be the one complaining.”

Hunter leaned back, resting his weight on the palms of his hands, watching the gold transform further into a to a deeper purple before his eyes. The lamp he’d brought with them that could sense when it was dark turned on, adding a soft, golden glow to their surroundings, lighting up Crosshair’s scar, casting shadows to the deeper pits in it.

Hunter made himself look, not because the scar was strange, but because he wanted to face the truth of it.

His brother was in pain.

“Sometimes I think my choices hurt more than the scar does,” Crosshair admitted. “I, uh… I had my inhibitor chip removed afterwards. It was my choice. I had AZI do it. I hid it from the Empire.”

Hunter’s eyes widened, and he looked at his face, the face that was still so-often closed off, that was working on showing honesty.

“What?”

“I didn’t want to say it before,” he went on. “It didn’t matter much to me because…” He sighed. “Because, well… I believed in the Empire, even without the chip. I tried so hard to believe in them, to believe they cared, that they’d given me a place, a purpose. I’m s—”

“Don’t apologize,” Hunter said.

Now it was Crosshair’s turn to look at him with confusion. “Why not?”

“The Empire hurt you in ways I didn’t understand—in ways none of us understood. You were working with the information you had, just like I was.”

Crosshair gave a slight shrug, and looked back to the water, kicking his feet.

“Heh, I guess so.”

“You still blame yourself, don’t you?” Hunter asked.

“Just as you do,” Crosshair responded, as sharp as ever, still able to not only pinpoint a precise target, but to understand everything he saw and took in. Watching others had given him a keen understanding of humanity, maybe one even stronger than the one Hunter’s enhanced senses gave him.

Hunter let out a deep exhale, the sound filling his ears, interrupting the beat of his brother’s heart to his senses.

“Yeah,” he admitted. “It’s stupid,” he eventually said. “We’ve been through so much, and we still have these—these battle scars.”

“What, you think scars just go away?” Crosshair asked, tone almost teasing, glancing at Hunter with an expression that anyone outside their family would have thought was disgust.

“No, but… time’s passed, and yet it’s still there. Why does it work that way? What is it doing for us? You know what I mean?”

“I do wish they would leave,” Crosshair admitted. “I don’t… hate you, Hunter. I’m not sure I ever really did.”

“Well, that’s a relief.”

Crosshair huffed out a laugh, and shoved him.

“You’re right though. It would be nice if it could stop hurting.”

“Does it ever?” Hunter asked, referring to Crosshair’s physical scars as well.

Crosshair smiled at him—he actually smiled (Hunter was so going to use this as blackmail)—and he said, “Yeah, it does.”

Hunter knew where his mind had gone, and his had inevitably gone to the same place: Omega, their family.

Hunter stood, grabbing the lamp, and then held out his hand to help Crosshair up. For a moment he felt his chest constrict (but in the most pleasant way) when Crosshair took his hand without hesitation. This was his brother, and he was happy to be with him, and it seemed Crosshair felt the same.

“Come on, I’m still hungry,” Hunter admitted. “Let’s go meet up with the others and see what food the night market has.”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

[zmediaoutlet]

Dean in the hospital bed is white on white, where he’s not mottled bruises. Pale lips and puffy red eyes. Sam can see he’s been crying and doesn’t know what to do with that. Eyes smarting from an overload of pain, he knows, and they’ve socked each other and made each other mad and made each other laugh to distract from that kind of thing. Somehow a joke doesn’t seem like it’d cut it, this time. If he could think of anything.

“You want me to get something from the cafeteria?” Sam tries. “Gotta be something better than, whatever, Jello.”

A short head-shake. So he’s not being ignored, anyway. Nevertheless he feels like—he doesn’t know. Like he’s on the outs of something but he doesn’t know what. He should have been there when Dean finally woke up, after they took most of the tubes out and eased off on the anaesthetic. He should’ve tried to wrestle Castiel down to the linoleum and demanded that he do absolutely anything he could to make Dean better. He should’ve—should’ve. This whole last year has felt like should’ve.

TV’s on in the corner. One of the late-night shows, muted. Dean’s face is pointed that way and his eyes are seeing something entirely else. Sam can guess, maybe. He knows the overview but not the details. He wants them and doesn’t. When he pulled Dean out of that horrific place he saw the blood spilled and the holy water and the blades and it was all just—immaterial, because Dean was bleeding and Dean was barely breathing and all Sam had done wouldn’t have mattered at all if Dean’s heart weren’t beating, steady on that monitor, despite everything. But the blades were still there. Maybe here, still. Dean’s hand curled with bruised cut fingers around empty air and dark in the corners of the room.

The feeling of the blood’s long worn off. The feeling fresh off the kill’s gone, too. He’s tired, and everything is awful, and he wants to take Dean out of here and he wants a motel room and he wants—one bed, for once, and for Dean to lay back and welcome Sam open without that edge of misgiving in him, and without him asking questions Sam can’t answer, and where it’s just—them, in a room together with the night shut out past the heavy ugly curtains, like it hasn’t been since—god, how long has it been? Since before he went to college. Since that summer, in Indiana. Rainstorms and Dean whooping at the clap of thunder and their skin sticking together in the afternoon dim. He wants that back so bad.

“I killed Alastair,” Sam says.

Dean’s eyelids dip, close. He takes a deep breath and then turns his head on the pillow, and looks Sam’s direction.

“He’s gone. Dead, not just sent back. I—” Dean’s not changing expression. Weary and pained and not surprised. Like he’s head-to-toe a bruise and is just expecting another blow. Sam folds his hands together, realizes his shoulders are hunched uncomfortably like a kid waiting to be scolded. “Just wanted you to know, I guess.”

Dean licks his lips and leaves them still-dry. The ice chips Sam brought must’ve melted by now, unused. He waits for a frown or a question or—he doesn’t know what, really. What he gets is Dean looking at him straight-on, for the first time since he woke up this last time—Dean’s eyes on his, and then all over his face. Not mad or happy or anything. Like he’s looking for something, but Sam doesn’t know what, and he doesn’t get to know before Dean nods, and then says in that terrible cracked voice: “Thanks, Sammy.”

Tired. His eyes close and his battered hands lay weak on the white sheets. Like, that’s it. A spilled cup of coffee dealt with. Method or means not of interest and what will follow none of his business. And what did he expect? Not a parade and not a screaming match. Not nothing, either.

Sam sits back in the too-small visitor chair and wonders how much it will take to get back the brother he wants.

[redfoxwritesstuff]

Another Day in Paradise, Chapter 4

Pairing: Eventually Alastor x OFC, later- light Alastor x ofc x Lucifer Rated: E for eventual smut Content warnings (Series): It's Hazbin Hotel- this feels redundant. Sex, eventual smut, referenced implied suicide to be discussed in more detail later, drugs, drinking, poor coping, toxic behavior, controlling behavior, cannibalism, idk, it's fucking Hazbin Hotel, if it's worth a content warning it's probably going to come up at some point? Religious trauma. reader has a name/is a oc.

Content warning- Chapter: None

AN: Eventually maybe someone will read this shit. Still riding the new fandom crack train.

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3

~~~~~<3

Amber hid in her room the rest of the morning and had herself a good cry. It was something that was becoming more common as she felt safer. Eventually, a knock brought her out of her wallowing though she couldn’t say how long she had cried for.

Charlie was at the door, a plate with a sandwich and some chips was placed on a try as well as a glass that looked to contain juice. It was so perfectly wholesome and out of place in hell.

“I thought you might be hungry.” She said as Amber stepped aside to let the her into the room. 

“Thank you, you didn’t have to.” Amber said rather than admit that yes, she was starved. It was near lunch time and she had ran back to her room with her tail quite literally between her legs before having anything for breakfast. 

“I wanted to thank you,” Charlie said, setting the tray down on the end table by the bed before sitting down next to where Amber sat. 

“I didn’t do anything.” Amber couldn’t meet the girl’s wide and ever eager eyes and instead picked at the chips. Princess or golden retriever hotel owner, the woman was simply too good either way. 

“But you did,” Charlie insisted, “You took a risk. You gave it an honest try. You shared something so important to you. You could have taken the easy way out like they did but you didn’t. That means something and I am so, so proud of you for it.” 

That surprised Amber. Charlie knew. She knew they were half-assing their activities. She knew. But she cared, encouraged and loved them anyway. How could a being like Charlie have been raised in hell?

“Does it bother you,” Amber asked, “That you’ve only lived in hell?” 

“I mean, I’m curious about things top side, sure. But this is my home and I’ve had such a great life here. I mean, I know I’ve been privileged. There’s so much more to hell than just what you have access to here. But even this ring of hell can be pretty great. You can have a life here too, you know? A good one.” 

“I guess.” Amber shrugged.

“You’re already doing so good!” Amber smiled at Charlie’s encouragement. “You found somewhere safe, you’re making friends and t’s nice to see you not being so scared. I want you to feel safe here, I want you to have a life here. Inside the hotel and out.”

Silence settled as Amber ate. Charlie was happy enough to just sit with her for the moment. 

“Why?” Amber finally asked, when her food was gone and the glass was sitting in her hands. “Why are you so invested in helping me? Isn’t hell supposed to suck? Isn’t it supposed to be punishment? But here you are, insisting on helping.”

“I don’t know.” Charlie admitted, shrugging. “Sure, this place is intended to be a punishment for Sinners but who says it has to be? And you just don’t seem like you belong here. I can’t imagine what you did to get sent here.”

Amber laughed, “I’m far from sinless.”

“Sure, no one is.” Charlie admitted with a shrug. “But a bunch of little sins surely doesn’t get someone down here. And if it does, it shouldn’t.”

“Maybe it doesn’t matter?” Amber stood up, not sure how to run from the conversation when she was in her own room. It was getting to be too much. 

“I’m sorry- I know most don’t really like to talk about what they did or how they died. It’s kind of taboo here and I overstepped.”

“It’s fine,” Amber lied. 

“What was your favorite thing top side?” Charlie asked, standing as well and making her way to the door. 

“Other than my daughter?” Amber mused as she thought about it. “Listening to the radio in the early morning, out on the porch with a cup of coffee. Before anyone else woke up. Before the day woke up. Before the day’s bullshit started.” 

A knock on the door started Amber out of her memory. Charlie had a wide smile as she enveloped the much smaller Amber in her arms. “Thank you for sharing that with me. It sounds beautiful.” 

“I should get that.” Amber mumbled into Charlie’s shoulder as the knocking came again, this time accompanied by a voice. 

“Anyone hooome~?” Alastor called in a singsong voice from behind the door.

“I should really get that.” Amber repeated, trying to ignore the way fear flooded her. “I don’t want to upset him.” 

Charlie ducked out of the room with a wave as Amber opened the door to Alastor. “Dearie, did you forget our plans already?” 

“No, I just- I didn’t know when.”

“Now.” Alastor answered, thumping his cane on the ground and leaning on it. “Is that,” Alastor wiggled his finger at Amber, “Acceptable to go out in?” 

“What?” Amber looked down at the over sized shirt she was wearing over leggings. “Is there something wrong with this?”

“It could be better.” Alastor said simply before deciding, “But I suppose it’s good enough for now.” 

“We’re just going to pick up the things from the tailor, right?” Amber asked, slipping her feet into the simple low heeled shoes Alastor had gotten her. They were more comfortable to walk in, rather than the heels and boots Angel had insisted on. Sneakers just didn’t seem to be a thing at the stores either had dragged her to.

“Among other things,” Alastor answered simply. “Come along now.” 

Alastor started down the hall without waiting for her. She was left scrambling to catch up to the one person she didn’t want to spend an undefined period of time being drug around the city with according to their whims. 

She didn’t know if she needed a coat or an umbrella or how the weather in hell even worked. It rained but the rain didn’t look pleasant. She’d seen people dissolve to the bone in the rain while she huddled under whatever shelter she had been able to find at the time. The weather had always been warm when she had been on the streets but Alastor always wore a overcoat. 

Going out wasn’t something she was used to and oh boy, was she overthinking it. 

She managed to catch up to him at the elevator, slipping in with Alastor before the doors closed. He had made no effort to hold the elevator for her. As soon as the doors opened onto the lobby, Alastor’s long legs carried him swiftly out. Amber was left scrambling to try and keep pace with him, struggling to stay within a few paces behind him. 

He had to know she was all but jogging to keep up. There was no way he wasn’t hearing the way she was panting by the time they reached the bottom of the hill or the rushed clicking of her heels against the stones contrasting to his smoothe relaxed steps.

“Now my dear, how should a lady carry herself?” Alastor didn’t even look back as his pace slowed. 

“Kind of hard when I can’t keep up.” Amber mumbled, trying to pull herself together according to his damn whims.

“Fix yourself.” Alastor commanded as he looked back at Amber. 

She pulled the hem of her long shirt and ran her hand through her hair trying to make it look like she hadn’t been near running to keep pace with his insanely long strides. Back straight and strong. Shoulders pulled back. Neck long. Chin up. Stand tall. Breathing slow and deep. 

It felt foreign. It felt wrong. It felt strong. 

It felt good.

“Very good.” Alastor remarked simply, continuing on his stroll at a much more relaxed pace.

Amber was able to keep within a few paces of him, trailing along behind him as he cut through fairly peaceful streets. Sure, there were corpses here and there, there were drug deals going down where the occasional alley shot off the main road. Monster sinners crossed the road rather than share the sidewalk with Alastor and eyed the woman who was in their eyes brave enough to share her time with the feared demon. 

Amber didn’t know what to do with her hands while walking in this new stiff posture. The day before, she at least had Alastor’s arm to busy one hand. She didn’t have a cane to fiddle with like him. She tried tucking her hands behind her back like he did but it felt stiff and awkward. Clasping her hands in front of her his felt better but still awkward, it reminded her of the timid life she had lived. 

In the distance, she could see the tailor shop. 

“Now, go get your package.” Alastor stopped, glancing at her before dissolving into the shadows, leaving her alone. 

“What?” Amber looked around and couldn’t find any sign of him. Oh hell no.

He took her out of the hotel and fucking left her alone. Defenseless and alone. Shoulders sagged as she debated if she could make it back to the hotel without having an unsavory encounter of some sort. Eyes fell to the ground as doubt swan through her mind. 

No, she couldn’t continue this way. At the very least she needed to complete the task Alastor had set her out on. Who knows what would happen if she didn’t at least get the clothes. 

“Step one, get to tailor. Step two, get clothes. Step three, I don’t fucking know.” Amber took a deep breath and again fixed her posture. Eyes up. Head up. One step at a time she propelled herself forward, down the sidewalk and toward the shop. 

Sinners didn’t cross the street for her. Some catcalled and propositioned but none actually touched her. A few sinners came close to touching her, reaching out to wrap and arm around her waist while trying to offer her something or another but she was able to sidestep them. 

She tried to pretend Alastor was walking with her. Oh, how she hadn’t expected to lean on the idea of him for some confidence. It was hard to wrap her head around how he made her feel safe while also making her feel the farthest thing from safe.

The air of confidence she struggled to pull around her was nearly totally false but it was something. Though it was illusion alone, it carried her as each step took her closer to the tailor shop. Just a block away now. Then a few feet. 

Her fingers trembled as she reached out for the railing as she prepared to ascend the stairs. It was here that she paused and looked around. In many ways, this was just another city street. 

Could she make a life here? Could she have some independence here? What a strange idea, to exist independent of those around her. When had she last been independent? Had she ever been sucessfully independent? She didn’t think so. 

Alastor was nowhere to be seen. Amber didn’t know what would come next but she wanted to believe she could get back to the hotel again, on her own if need be. 

Why he was helping her, she couldn’t fathom but he was and his lesson had been vital. What other vital lessons could he teach her, if she was willing to trust him?

Clean clothes, a change in how she carried herself and she was left largely alone in the same area she had once been accosted, chased and terrorized at. She was sure it helped that she had been seen with Alastor to some extent though. 

Closing her eyes, she tried to channel the way actresses would glide up stairs in the films she had watched in her life, not that she had gotten to watch many. Smooth steps as she made her way up to the porch and wrapped her fingers around the doorknob. 

With a deep breath, she entered the shop.

“You made it!” Alastor’s singsong voice called out, rich static coloring the tone as Amber all but jumped out of her skin. “Good job!”

The small sheep demoness had packages bagged up and siting on the counter. She looked positively terrified to have Alastor lounging in her shop as he waited for Amber to make the walk. 

“How did you-?” Amber clutched at her chest as her heart hammered against her ribs. 

“Collect your bags, Dearie. I’ve got things to do, places to be and people to maim. We simply have to get going.”

Amber did as she was told, scurrying over to the counter and collecting the bags with a meek word of thanks to the shopkeeper. Any air of confidence she had managed to collect on her way in was gone, startled right out of her by Alastor. 

Alastor said nothing as he lead her out of the shop. She raced behind him as he descended the stairs. There was no way she could guess which speed Alastor would walk at and part of per mentally prepared to nearly run to keep up with the much taller man. 

Instead he waited for her at the base of the stairs, making her look ever more a fool as she stumbled to a stop in front of him. He looked down at her with eyebrow raised and hummed his weird musical hum. 

“This simply won’t do for the meeting.” 

“What meeting?” Amber wanted to go home. She wanted to go where Alastor wasn’t so she could get her bearings.

Alastor snapped his fingers with a flair and air rushed around her. Elegant red fabric draped itself over her. The flowing circle skirt danced around her legs, cutting a soft line a few inches below her knees. The neckline was high, it nearly felt like it was choking her but the back of the dress dipped low, leaving her feeling exposed in the least scandalous way possible as her hair tickled the exposed skin. Her tail fit perfectly through a hole that she was pretty sure wouldn’t be able to accommodate the fluff when it came time to remove the dress. 

“Did you just dress me up like a doll?” Amber spoke sharply before she had a chance to consider her tone or who she was speaking to.

“And there you have it, again she finds her claws.” Alastor laughed, tucking her hand around his arm to rest on his forearm as be began to lead her down the street. 

“Why are you doing this?” Amber dared to ask while he walked her swiftly down the street toward the heart of the city. 

“Boredom, as I said. Don’t you listen?” Alastor tapped her ear rather harshly with the microphone head of his cane. “These ears are for more than just decoration, are they not?”

“They work,” Amber flung her ears forward and back in a attempt to somehow swat the microphone away without having to outright challenge the much more powerful man. “But that dosen’t really tell me why you’re treating me like a pet.” 

“Getting braver!” Alastor chuckled but didn’t answer. “Good job!” 

Amber yanked her arm from where it was tucked around his, stepping away to put distance between them. “Seriously. Why are you helping me? I know Charlie believes in redemption and Angel just seems nice but you-?”

“Me?” Alastor pointed to himself, static thick in his voice again as his neck cracked, head twitching to an unnatural angle for a moment. “Do tell me what you think you know about me.”

“You’re powerful.” She stated plainly, deflating. “And creepy. Sadistic, maybe.”

“You complement me so!” Alastor all but preened, placing a clawed hand to his chest and standing tall before leaning into her space again. “Do keep going.”

“You could kill me with a flick of your wrist, probably wouldn’t even feel bad about it-” She continued, stepping away from him every time he inched closer until she almost fell off the sidewalk. 

“I wouldn’t.” He said though she didn’t know if he was confirming he wouldn’t feel bad about killing her or that he wouldn’t kill her at all.

She didn’t dare ask for clarification.

“You don’t get anything from helping me but what? A momentary entertainment? It doesn’t make sense.”

“Isn’t our afterlife little but a series of momentary entertainments to break up our hellish existence?” Alastor countered before his posture changed, standing tall again and ordering her to stay put as he dissolved into shadows.

“What the fuck.” Amber said to the empty space he had been. “What the actual fuck.” 

[askmadcomcrew]

What're everyone's general thoughts on bandits?

Hank: Hardly worth killing. Boring. Unprotected and unskilled. Can sometimes be annoying on long outings in Somewhere, they like to nick your stuff when you're sleeping.

Sanford: I trust a bandit as far as I can throw 'em. If you ask me? No mercy for any bandits, even if they offer ya safe passage in exchange for food or money. They're all cannibals and they're just waiting for the chance to catch you off guard so they can swarm you and then make dinner out of you.

Deimos: Annoying little twerps, mostly. Honestly not sure how they even survive, eating literal garbage all the time. Nothin' grows out in the Outskirts, so they're living off zeds mostly, I guess. I also know they eat other people, and that's enough for me to not feel bad about shootin' 'em.

Doc: Roaming bandit tribes, as well as the more settled ones, are primarily formed by former residents of Nexus City. The ones who survived the fall, after deciding that killing each other wasn't worth the hassle, decided to form their own communities in the ruins of the city, where they were allowed to exist without being killed by what remained of the Core or MERC. Most have taken to cannibalism to suit their food needs, as food is scarce in the Outskirts, and most of what was edible was given to their MAG Bandit. For some reason they became obsessed with having the MAG Bandit grow larger and larger through excess food, even if it meant starving themselves. A strange, but interesting lot.

Dr. Christoff: Bandits are little more than ruffians and scoundrels, always looking for their next meal, or whatever's in your pockets. Some of them act nice, if they don't already know you, and will attempt to barter. I've met the handful of reputable bandits, ones who will do honest trade for supplies. I've also met plenty who would rather kill and steal from you, as well as feast on your corpse. I've personally watched a pack of Bandits descend on a would-be traveler, killing them quickly with sharpened scrap metal, and then using those same tools to gut, skin, and de-bone them for easier consumption.

Tricky: THEY TASTE AWFUL!! HARDLY ANY MEAT!!! ALL SKIN N' BONES!!! WHAT MEAT THEY GOT IS ALL STRINGY AND TOUGH 'CUZ MOST OF 'EM ARE EMACIATED!!! THEY SPEND TOO MUCH TIME GIVING ALL THEIR FOOD TO THAT STUPID MAG!!! BUNCHA IDIOTS IF YOU ASK ME!!!

Sheriff: Bandits're 'n odd sort, no one tribe of 'em operates the same as the others. The ones in the city don't bother us none, most 'a the time anyway. Had a few of their ranks join ours from time t' time. We don't discriminate here at MERC, we don't care where ya came from or who y' used to be. If yer willin' to chip in, and do honest work fer honest pay, we'll have ya. Most of 'em keep their distance tho, they know the more rowdy they get, the more likely they are fer one of our snipers t' put 'em down.

Crackpot: Oh, them? A lot of bandits are who ended up joining my religious sect after the fall of the city, some of them come down to the sewers and stumble upon our humble home down here. Some of them attack, thinking my men are easy prey, and are quickly sacrificed to the buoyant ones. Some have a little more sense and reason, and with a bit of coercion, have joined our ranks. But typically they just end up getting picked off by the zeds we have guarding our establishments. A sort of self solving problem, if you would.

Phobos: Bandits? Is that what became of the people of my glorious city? After that damned Christoff condemned it to ruination? No matter, the civilians of Nexus City were little more than a nicety. I could care less what they've evolved or devolved into.

Auditor: Bandits are a routine source of trouble for Agency outposts around Nexus City. They commonly launch raids on our bases, or attack Agency caravans with the intent of stealing and eating whatever or whomever they can. Most of the time routine patrols and guards can take care of them, but occasionally they are successful in their pursuits. They are little more than a nuisance, but one to remain vigilant for all the same.

[kaminocasey]

25 Days of Life Day: Day 6 - Making fudge with Tech

Here’s the recipe I used!

Summary: Tech can’t make fudge BUT he can teach you about Life Day while you make fudge.

Warnings: None. Wholesome fluffy cooking with Tech.

The smell of burnt fudge travels through your apartment and you open all the windows, letting the cool air in and try to waft it back out. You try not to be too reactive, not wanting to hurt Tech’s feelings about the fudge. He’d been working so hard on it and you were just proud of him for trying.

“I don’t understand.” Tech complains, looking at his holopad which is propped up on your toaster. “I followed every single instruction.”

You chuckle, walking over to him, wrapping your arms around his torso, resting your cheek on his back, smiling to yourself. He was still cute when he was frustrated.

“Darling, I’m trying to focus.” He smiles softly as he removes your arms and you move away, hopping up on your kitchen island.

“Well, maybe you’re focusing too hard on it.” You suggest, swiping your finger in the bowl with leftover chocolate.

“Perhaps…” Tech sighs, removing his goggles so he can rub his eyes, clearly having been looking at that holopad for way too long.

“Let me help.” You hop back down to scoot him out of the way, gently backing him up to the stool at the counter.

He takes a seat while you clean up Tech’s mess and then gather up more ingredients out of your pantry and fridge, rearranging them so you have more organization. Tech was not an organized person… or perhaps he had messy organization skills… You’ve seen his workstation. He knows where exactly everything is and goes whereas when you look at it, you have to resist the urge to organize it for him.

“Talk to me about something.” You smile at him as you turn the stove burner back on to heat up the saucepan.

“What would you like for me to talk about?” He asks, resting his chin in his hand.

“Tell me about anything.” You start to pour the evaporated milk, sugar, and marshmallows into the saucepan.

“Do you want me to tell you about the history of Life Day?” He offers.

“I’d love that.” You encourage him, stirring the ingredients in the pan until they’re brought to a boil.

Honestly, it didn’t matter what Tech talked about. Whatever he talked about, you found interesting and you loved hearing him teach you about new things. You were constantly learning new things because of him. And you know how much he loves teaching you new things.

“Well, did you know that the history of Life Day originates from the Wookies of Kashyyyk?” He asks you as you pull out a separate bowl to put the chocolate chips, butter, and vanilla in.

You return to the saucepan, stirring again.

“Life Day is a tradition for Wookies to celebrate their values of harmony, joy, and family. They have a tree called the Tree of Life on Kashyyyk that symbolizes the first seed and spark of life on their planet.” He continues.

“I had no idea.” You smile. “The trees of Kashyyyk are so beautiful.”

“They are.” He agrees then continues. “You could probably guess that with the fall of the Empire, the celebration of Life Day became a tradition for all beings throughout the galaxy. Life Day is celebrated to remind us of the importance of compassion and the togetherness of family.”

There’s a knock on the door right then and you grin at Tech. “Speaking of family. Looks like ours is here.”

“Indeed.” He gets up to go answer the door.

You hear him answer the door and then all of a sudden a gaggle of “Ew, Tech.” and “What is that awful smell?”

“I burned the first batch. But she’s fixing it.” Tech tells them.

“That’s a relief.” Echo’s voice says before joining you in the kitchen. “Ah, this one smells better.”

You laugh and swat him. “Tech tried his best. Cut him some slack.”

Tech joins you in the kitchen again, leaning against the counter by you so he’s not in your way. You smile up at him as you take the saucepan and pour the hot mixture on top of the ingredients in the bowl. You offer him the electric mixture and he takes it, mixing the ingredients all together.

“This looks and smells a lot better. Thank you, darling.” He kisses you on the head as he mixes until it looks smooth enough to dump into the fudge pan.

You stick the pan into the refrigerator and join Tech by the counter, wrapping your arms around his waist. He smiles softly down at you as he wraps his arms around you.

“Do you wanna hear about the history of-” He starts.

“No, she doesn’t, Tech. She’s just too polite to say so.” Crosshair pops in the door to grab a cookie you’d made earlier and teases Tech. “Stop boring the poor woman.”

Grabbing a handful of marshmallows and throwing them at Crosshair to shut him up, you tell him to get out then turn back to your partner. “Ignore him. I’d love nothing more than to hear about the history of whatever it was you were about to say.”

“This is why I love you.” He kisses you softly with a chuckle.

There was nothing that Tech could tell you that you would find boring. You just hope he knows that. So as you wait for the fudge to settle, he tells you about the history of fudge, which you don’t find boring at all, it just makes you hungry.

TAGS: @grievouus @brynhildrmimi @madameminor @dumfanting @rain-on-kamino @misogirl828 @rexandechosandwich @corona-one @tecker @ladykatakuri @the-sith-in-the-sky-with-diamond @twistedstitcher27 @zoeykallus @maulslittlemeowmeow @littlemousedroid @arctrooper69 @rexxdjarin @agenteliix @idlenesses

[cyberneticdreamscape]

RESHAPING A DOLL

This story can be found as a dedicated page on my blog: Here

This story features a number of kinks, primarily: Brainwashing \ Hypnosis \ Kidnapping \ Rape

================================================ ===============PART 1: SUMMER’S END=============== ================================================

“Who doesn’t like to break a few rules now and then?” “Who doesn’t just want to have some fun?” “Who would be afraid of such a silly thing?” She told herself these things over, and over again.

Summer was ending, Autumn was coming, and the local park would be closing their pool in a matter of days as the season ends. Some of her girlfriends had decided that this would be the perfect opportunity. The nights were coming quicker, and the pool would be drained soon, so why not simply enjoy the last few moments of Summer? She felt the pressure of missing out, as much as she was afraid of getting in trouble… so she would join.

As far as she knew, there would be five of them altogether. Her, her two best friends, and their boyfriends. They would meet outside the pool fence at 11:00, hop the fence, and enjoy the night. Plain and simple. 10:25… she was nearly ready. She had picked her cutest one-piece, with an adorable little skirt around the hips, waist open at the sides. She pulled up her sweatpants, zipped up her hoodie, and was off by 10:40.

By 10:51 she was entering the park. By 10:58 she was nearing the fence along the side of the pool grounds. But… where was everyone? She checked her phone, 10:59. A hand on her shoulder, she jumped. “Hey! Sorry to spook you!” It was one of her friends, her heart had raced the moment she felt the hand on her. “Don’t scare me like that!” She spoke with heavy breath, turning and looking up. There stood her two girlfriends, their boyfriends, each carrying a small cooler, one other girl, and walking up behind, two more guys, one with a few bags of chips in his arms. This was more than she expected, she liked to have fun, but wasn’t much of a party person, she got shy easily… But she carried on.

Over the fence. Towels strewn about. Coolers open, beers, malts and seltzers in everyone’s hands.

As the night progressed, she sat at the edge, kicking her feet as she drank, when one of her friends swam over. “What’s wrong, you haven’t really been that social tonight?” Her friend asked. “It’s nothing… I just don’t really know everyone I guess.” She replied. And so, her questions were answered. The girl she didn’t know was one of the boyfriend’s sisters. The one guy was her boyfriend, and he had chosen to invite his cousin as well.

She made an attempt, but felt too overwhelmed. It wasn’t long before she was back, sitting at the edge, sipping her drink while the others swam and partied.

The night went on, she was surprised there was no security kicking them out… She wondered if she should have even come still… Surely they would be having just as good a time without her… Then, a hand on her shoulder again. Surely just her friend once more. But it felt… heavier. Someone’s sitting at the edge to her right? The cousin… why? Why is his hand on my shoulder? Why is he sitting down? Why isn’t he with them?

“They’re having fun, they won’t miss us over here.” He said quietly, gesturing towards the others with his free hand. They were having a chicken fight. His hand shifted. “I’m not really…” She was about to finish her thought, she wasn’t comfortable with him this close,touching her, but… His right hand swung up, covering her mouth. The hand on her shoulder now lowered around her waist. “Don’t go saying silly things.” He whispered into her ear. Her heart was racing, her eyes darting. None of them were paying attention. None of them cared that she was off on the other side… None of them… His right hand slipped from her lips, down between her thighs, fingers pressing, a faint circling motion. “Sto…” He was fast, she couldn’t finish her words. She could still feel the pressing imprint of his fingers on her waist, and yet… those very same fingers were know on her soft throat, holding her. She could hear her heartbeat, and knew he could feel it. “Your poor little heart is racing.” He jested, as he held her there still, her fingers pressing the fabric of her swimsuit against her. “And I can feel how wet you’re getting, all needy, slick against my fingers compared to the pool-water.” He was forcing her to look him in the eyes.

Any time she attempted to speak against him, he gripped at her throat to stop her. He simply continued to rub circles against her clit, press his fingers ever so slightly into her, her swimsuit stopping him from going further. He refused to pull it aside. She couldn’t help but moan, and when she did, he pressed his lips to hers and kissed her deeply. Tears welled up in her eyes as he pulled his lips away. She looked to her friends… no help. Their games had ended, and they were straddling their boyfriends, distracted from the world. No one saw her…

She wiggled and writhed, attempting to break free, but she failed… The only thing her movement did was cause his fingers to press more firmly, and her swimsuit to begin to tug to the side. He finished that job, pulling it away himself, and forcing two fingers into her as she gasped.

By now, she truly lost track of time. She lost the will to fight him. She lost the ability to even try.

And then…

“Looks like you’re having a good time too.” She looked up, her friend was wiping something from her lips as she giggled. “Proud of you, girl!” Her other friend jested. “We’re heading out, you guys should too before someone actually decides to check on this place.”

She couldn’t reply, only moan. He wouldn’t stop. The group giggled at her failed attempt to speak, and he spoke for her. “Your friends are right, let’s get our stuff, I’ll make sure you get home safe.” Those words were enough for the others. All she could think was “Please… no, you don’t understand!” But all she could say was “P…please” with a moan.

================================================ =============PART 2: LEAVES OF CHANGE============= ================================================

She regretted ever letting herself be pressured into going to the pool that night… What a way to end the Summer… And why had no one found her?

Every morning, she awoke to see him standing over her. Her body bound as he would feed her breakfast and give her water or juice. This morning was no different.

How in the hell did he get away with this? Her friends KNEW he was the last person she was seen with… were they in on it all along?

Days would pass, and she would try to fight. Today she couldn’t bear it… was she finally breaking? How long had it even been? Weeks at least… Is her family looking for her…

Little did she know, everything was sorted, and no one was worried.

Day after day, he would train her, break her, mould her. Feeding her just enough. Making sure she drinks plenty. Bathing her. Groping her, rubbing her, fingering her. He had been her first… The first to pound deep inside her dripping hole, she couldn’t help but get drenched. The first to fill her with his seed, she loved the feeling, but hated the context. The first to use her ass, stretching her open and pumping her full. It hurt, but she was starting to crave it. The first to fuck her drooling mouth, making her gag, not caring for her ability to breath.

Every day. Using her.

Every day. Caring for her.

Every day. Teaching her.

There were lessons. She would be bound in a wooden chair, a vibrator between her legs, and taught. Sometimes he would give her lessons himself, on how to be an obedient doll. Sometimes he would put headphones on her and force her to endure hypnosis sessions while he worked. Sometimes he would make her watch humiliating, degrading, and taboo porn, only checking on her periodically. But every day, he would force her to write lines. Pages and pages worth. Always about that days lesson, and how she could be a better little whore based on said lesson.

Some days she fought him… hand-prints and bruises as a result of her wiggling. Some days she struggled… rope burns pressed into her skin from her writhing. Some days she gave in, too worn down to make life harder. But she refused to accept this as her life.

No matter how many times he used her. No matter how much he forced her to endure. No matter how long he kept her here… How long… how long had it been?

At first she had attempted to keep track of the days… Then, how many times each hole was used… Then, how many times he praised her… Eventually… she asked him to keep track… and he did so, with marker on her skin. She didn’t need to think about it anymore, she could just look at her thighs and see the numbers.

Eventually she stopped looking to count, but rather to see how covered her skin was by the marker… feeling a strange sense of pride that she had endured so much, and hadn’t lost herself. She could endure…

But he challenged that day after day. He challenged that with his words. He challenged that with his hands. With his cock. With whatever toy he brought down… Some nights he even challenged her by forcing her to sleep with her holes stuffed with dildos, body bound snug, and no blanket to warm her… And yet… she endured.

She hadn’t even realized, but three months had passed. He came down with a piece of cake, a candle in it. “Congratulations on making it this far. Three months down, a lifetime to go.” Her wrists still bound behind her back, he fed her the cake. “I also got you some gifts.” He placed a binder in her lap and opened it. Full of all the pages. He made her read them all. But she didn’t want this… she wanted her gifts… no, she wanted her… freedom? A wrapped box was placed at her feet, and he slowly unbound her wrists and ankles.

She… was loose? She could run. “Go on, open your present, little doll.” She tore at the wrapping… why. Why wasn’t she fleeing… she could be… free?

She lifted the lid off her gift. In it was a vibrator which could be controlled by his phone… his phone… he had hers too. Along side it was a large silver plug… she could never fit that… could she? And finally, a thumb drive?

“What’s on this?” She asked. He did not answer. Instead, he grabbed the other items, pulled her panties down slightly and bent her over. He held the plug before her mouth. “Drool on it.” She placed her lips to it and coated it in saliva. “Good girl.” She couldn’t help but smile… but that smile vanished as she felt the metal being forced into her ass.

He stood her up, placed the vibe in her dripping hole, turned it on and pulled her panties up. With a tap on his phone screen it buzzed to life, and he pushed her down onto her chair once more. “Wh…what about this, sir?” She said, holding the USB stick. He simply smiled. “You’ll see in just a moment.”

He stepped from the room, she heard him upstairs. And down he came, laptop in hand. He set it up in front of her, connected the drive, and opened the sole video file on it.

It was a surprisingly long video. And she sat, and watched, as her new toy buzzed inside her.

First, him… Stood in his office, speaking, addressing her. “I set myself a goal, five months long. I think I can confidently say you’ve been such a good girl that it’s taken merely three.” His words continued, speaking of how he broke her. And as he spoke, the images changed to videos of him using her, of him training her… of the nights she masturbated after he left her. All along, she had never noticed, he had cameras in her room.

And then, the voice changed, and the visuals along with it. Her two girlfriends… they were sending her wishes of wellness on her “journey of self reflection across the country.” Then, her family… sending the same wishes…

Back to him, as he explained why no one was worried. The visuals morphed, as did his tone… To match that of the hypno-training she endured. His words told a story… The story of the places she went, of the people she met… The story of how she found herself, and what she chose to do with her life…

And as the video came to a close, he stepped in front of the screen and spoke directly. “And now… We have two whole months to make at least some of that tale into reality… Of course, you’re going to be a good girl and tell everyone that’s what you’ve been up to.” She nodded, eyes glazed over. “Good girl.” He smirked. She smiled and looked up. “Of course, sir… your good girl.”

================================================ ===========PART 3: THE TRUTH OF THE DOLL=========== ================================================

As she sat beside him on the train, her panties buzzing, she couldn’t help but think of what brought her here. Recalling that night at the pool… Recalling her time in his basement… But there were some details she couldn’t recall.

“Sir?” She looked to him inquisitively. “Yes, my doll?” He replied with a kind smile. “I… I can’t remember…” She blushed. “Remember what, little one?” He placed his hand on her thigh. “N…names… sir… even mine.” Her face was bright red. He simply chuckled lightly, smiling all the while. He pulled a small book and pen from his bag, opened it to a blank page and began to write. After a few minutes, he stopped, put the pen away, and held the page before her. It read as follows:

Sir, Master, Daddy, these are the only names you need for me. Your name is whatever I choose to call you, but you may tell others your name is Erin now. Emma is your closest friend. John is her boyfriend. Lauren is your other close friend. Gabe is her boyfriend. And the list went on…

“W…why Erin, was that my name… before?” Suddenly the vibrator went high, his fingers gripped to her skin. “Good girls, don’t ask silly questions like that.” He stated… but then answered. “That girl that you were… you’re someone else now, and I’ve gifted you a new name for others to use. Do you understand, Erin?” As the name escaped his lips, he gripped tighter, she could feel herself dripping. “Yes sir.”

Their travels continued.

She got to see cities she never thought she’d visit. She got to have her holes pumped full of cum in places she never thought she’d even see. And she got to take cute pictures in front of monuments while his cum dripped down her thighs.

Anywhere he took her, she followed with glee. And before she knew it, they were visiting a familiar park. It was colder than the last time she was here. Spring was right around the corner, but there was still piles of snow between leafless trees. Onward he walked, and onward she followed. Towards a fence. He stopped, she stopped. “Do you remember this?” He asked, looking at her. She smiled bright “Where I met my master.” “Good girl.” He pat her head and kissed her, knee between her legs. “Now let’s go see your friends.”

His hand was on her ass, up her skirt, as she knocked on the door cautiously. The door slowly opened, and her friends stood, smiling bright. “WELCOME HOME!” They shouted, pulling her in.

They asked her question after question, as she sat in his lap. She answered all according to what he trained her to say. The hours passed, the girls laughed, caught up on the past five months. Lauren had to leave, and within moments of the door closing behind her… Emma spoke.

“So… how long did it take for you to realize your heart was beating for him, just like your cunt was dripping for him?” Erin looked confused. “He must have raped you over a hundred times before you gave your heart to him.” Emma said with a smile, stepping up and placing her hands on Erin’s lap, lips inches away from hers. “He sent me updates every week. You’re REALLY cute when you’re begging him not to get you pregnant you know… Of course… now I’m sure you beg him to cum inside you.” Erin’s heart was racing, as much as that first night, if not more. Emma grabbed her chin. Master grabbed her throat. He spoke, “She’s the one who really invited me, she told me you needed a new life. You’re mind now, and that’s all that matters, and you’re my good girl, so I know you understand.” Her cunt was throbbing, soaking through her panties. She looked into Emma’s eyes and could barely make out the words… “Thank you.”

[prettyblondguys]

Part 2

Dmitri x plus size f!reader

Warnings: None for this chapter I think, don't you dare ask me to proofread

Sunday Bingo Night was, thankfully, Russian Man free. As a matter of fact, the rest of your week had been as well, leaving you to put all of your focus (and anxieties) into your work at the local library. It wasn't a stressful job per say, not when compared to other fast paced environments, and the hours and pay were decent, but still you had the habit of working yourself up over the smallest things. Case in point, you were currently sitting behind the circulation desk with a notepad trying to figure out everything that still needed to be done for the upcoming Friends of the Library Event, a relatively small gathering that was held each year to drum up more funds, and the second it had been assigned to you to take care of, you'd felt that all too familiar dread of 'what if I mess up?' wash over you. It wasn't as if you didn't know what to do, you'd worked here for years now and you worked hard, sometimes spending extra hours just to get more work done, opting to finish filings or sortings sooner rather than the next day, and going out of your way to think of and make fun displays to draw more of the community in. And your hard work hadn't gone unnoticed either, after just 3 years you'd been promoted to co-head librarian, head librarian being your 64 year old coworker, Delores.

No, you knew what you were doing, you just often did more than needed to be done.

"I know we've decided on tea sandwiches," you say to Delores as she flips through some papers, letting out a sigh when you bring up the event again, "but what if people want a second option? Like, what if they get sick of the sandwiches? It's 2 hours, maybe we should have something else as well?" Delores fixes you with a withering look over the rim of her glasses, lips pursed in thinly veiled aggravation, "Like what?" You scramble for an idea, you were sure she'd shoot you down without even considering it. "Umm, how about chips and dip?"

"Too messy."

"Devilled Eggs,"

"Too smelly." Fair.

"We could have fruit!"

"What kind of fruit?"

"Um, how about..grapes..?"

"You want to serve tea sandwiches and grapes?" She looks at you like you'd just asked what the Dewey decimal system is. "I, uh, I guess we should just...stick to the sandwiches." Delores goes back to flipping through her papers and you dejectedly return to your notepad, scratching out where you had written 'second food option'. There's still a lot that needs to be done in five days; the rest of the recently donated books needed to be checked for marks and put in neat boxes, you needed to make sure you had enough name tags and markers, and not to mention blank labels. You had come up with a fun way for the patrons to interact with the library they help fund, by letting them go through the donated books and label them, sort of playing librarian for the day. Even Delores had thought it was a good idea. You hum to yourself, fingers tapping against the paper,

"How about a second drink option?"

¤

"Dom, dom, dom, dom, dom, dom, be, dooby, dom. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoaaaa," you quietly sing through a mouth full of tomato and sliced turkey, head bobbing as The Beach Boys' Come Go With Me plays through your headphones. You had walked five minutes away to spend your lunch break at the park that overlooked the beach, sitting on the picnic table and decompressing from your coworker's passive-aggressiveness. And decompressing here was easy, with the sun warming your face and the smell of the ocean filling your lungs, and the sweet, sweet sound of The Beach Boys crooning in your ears. Tea sandwiches be damned, this was peaceful.

"So come and go with me, whoa whoa whoa whoaa-" oh no. Walking away from the beach and towards you was Dmitri, a plain white shirt draping over his body like liquid. Ok, maybe that was a bit much, but he looked delectable. You consider getting up and walking back to the library, cutting your break short halfway through, but that would be too obvious. Maybe he hasn't seen me. Maybe he'll walk by and not even notice me. Maybe you should stop shoving your sub down your throat.

His eyes land on you as he gets closer, the side of his mouth turning up in a soft smile. "Y/n," he greets you after you slip your headphones around your neck, stopping to stand near where you sit, "fancy seeing you here." You inwardly cringe as he repeats your words from the grocery store just days earlier.

"I wahurc neher behi," you say through yet another mouthful of sub, holding your hand up for him to wait when he gives you a confused look. You swallow and continue, "I work nearby. I'm on my lunch break." He nods, moving to sit on the bench next to where your feet are, giving you the high ground, "It's nice here," he looks out towards the water as he speaks, elbows resting on his knees, "you can see the ocean whenever you please." I'm just gonna ignore how hearing you say 'please' just made me feel. "Have you gone in yet?" You ask, taking small nibbles of your sub.

"Not yet," he replies, "I haven't had the opportunity." Pal, it's California, the whole state is an opportunity to get in the ocean. "You said you work nearby?" He changes the subject, turning his head to look at you as you're mid-bite. It'd be weird to offer him some. Do NOT offer him some. You slowly hold the sub out to him, which he politely declines. "I work at the library down the street, the one with the flamingo statue out front." You love that flamingo statue, you'd named him Jacques. "What about you? What do you do?" Ok, why does he suddenly look like I just asked why his basement is locked? "I am.." he seems to be trying to think of the words, "in between jobs, at the moment." You nod and continue eating, a silence filling the space between you two as you stare out at the water. You slyly eye him in profile, taking the moment to actually look at him. You hadn't been exaggerating when you said he was hot, but now you notice just how pretty he actually is, all of the little details you'd overlooked the previous times you'd met. You had noticed how full his lips were, but not how pink, how mysterious his eyes were, but not how soft his gaze was, and certainly not the little specks of silver in his hair and trimmed mustache. God, he's like, seriously beautiful.

He catches you staring before you have time to look away, eyes boring into yours as you feel your cheeks start to burn, "Sorry," you mumble with a laugh, fiddling with the sandwich wrapper, "I was, um…" he smiles as you fumble for an explanation. "No, no there's no way to spin that, is there?" Good naturedly shaking his head, he stands up and faces you. "Perhaps I will stop by the library sometime, if that would be alright?" Did I fall asleep? Have I been dreaming this whole time? Did Delores finally snap and murder me for my incessant perfectionism and now I'm in heaven? "If not," he continues when you don't reply, "that is fine, I understand." NO! "No! That's not it," please don't screw this up for yourself, "I was just…"

"Staring." He says it matter of factly, kinda smug about it, too. Huh, add that to my growing list of turn ons. "Yeah," you admit defeatedly, "that I was." Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out one of those little pencils that were always on side tables in motels, are they called golf pencils? and a folded up scrap of paper. He tears off a section and hands it and the pencil to you, which you take with a heavy look of confusion. "Cool...thank..thank you.." Is this like...penguins gifting rocks? Is it a Russian thing? Is this a dowry? He chuckles before crossing his arms over his chest, fixing you with those piercing blue eyes, "How am I supposed to call and ask you on a date if I do not have your number?" Oh. "Oh."

Sylvia is not gonna believe this.

Authors Note: I'm sorry the chapters aren't very long but I hope y'all are enjoying the story so far! Feedback and Reblogs are very much appreciated!

[bestbonnist]

Chapter 172.3

Correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that the implication here is that these people killed themselves and Fushi didn't bring them back. Which sticks out to me because when Fushi chose to wait for people's permission to resurrect their bodies in the present era, all of their friends decided to stay with them and there were no external consequences. Although it's only briefly touched on, now we have an example of people choosing to die rather than have Fushi resurrect them again.

Knocker cream from Yuuki :( I miss him so much... I'm curious about why March is applying the cream to two dolls and why she feels like she has to apply it in a no-star area, but I'm guessing there's going to be an explanation later.

I'm completely fixated on this line about being born "out of the love of two people" my mind just refuses to let go of it. First thing I find interesting is that Fushi's of the opinion that being in love is a prerequisite to having sex/having kids. Which maybe isn't true but is a very in-character opinion to have. Fushi's a romantic at heart, they choose to believe that people are motivated by love. It's a sort of coping mechanism, because they've got to have hope for humanity in order to keep saving them. And like they told Mizuha during her birthday arc, they're envious of people who have always had parents looking out for them. Fushi also uh. Sometimes just says things that they wish were true like they are true, and even if their ideal is a world where every person has loving parents, on some level they know it doesn't match up with reality. But they're trying to comfort someone who just died so they tell them something that would comfort themselves.

Second thing is that, if we take this seriously and look at the implications of what Fushi is saying, that means that people in their world simply do not get pregnant on accident. And I was thinking that if Fushi actually knows what they're talking about then maybe Kaibara might provide and encourage free birth control to prevent babies from being born without tag chips. Which would mean, yeah, people wouldn't give birth without a really good reason and maybe that reason is love. But none of this matters because it turns out this is information Fushi got from a nine year old.

Third thing: I looked it up to be sure and Fushi is talking about sex in the original Japanese. It can be taken romantically or sexually but it's something frilly like "making love." Don't really have anything more to say about that I just learned a new word and I wanted to share it with all of you :)

Now the doll. Fell from Kaibara. Supposed to tell "them" something ("they" plural in the original Japanese). If she was sent down by 32 to tell something to multiple people, odds are it's a message for the immortals.

So there are a few questions that this raises. First, what is the doll supposed to tell them. Something related to the sphere, maybe? A warning of some kind? Second, why did 32 want to tell the immortals anything: why did she try to help them when she works for Kaibara. Third, does this have anything to do with her death. She seemed to care for the doll quite a lot, I can't imagine she would drop her in the trash unless she was desperate. To be blunt, was 32 killed by Kaibara for helping the immortals, and was this before or after the doll got her tag chip? It's really frustrating, there's a connection there but there's just not enough information to gather the details. Ooima gives us scraps every few chapters but it still feels like nothing.

[yzafre]

we're flying above the valley below | Ch 7

AO3

First | Previous

Staring at a Riku, who looked back with disdain in his eyes, surrounded by a cloud of Darkness – it brought back memories in the worst way.

Kairi said this wasn’t Riku at all – Sora wanted to believe that.  Regardless, he knew from experience, when Riku (not-Riku?) was like this, he had to be stopped.

A flash of real pain crossed not-Riku’s face, “What?  C’mon, Kairi.  Don’t you know me?”

“I know you,” she said, her heart beating stalwart and firm across their bond, “And I know Riku.  That’s how I know you’re not him.”

Not-Riku’s face slackened, darkened, screwed up in a sneer, “Huh.  I always thought you were better than him – I suppose not.  It doesn’t matter – I have a job to do.”

He held up the objects the microbots had handed him, and Sora’s visor zoomed in on the cards in his hand without his input.  There were two of them – one a bright red, the other a deep purple.  When Hiro’s voice crackled over the line, it was cold.

“Baymax, come pick me up.”

None of his team protested, this time, and the robot lifted off.

“Not quite done,” Riku muttered, still focused on the cards, “As if this stupid experiment wasn’t already enough hassle.”

“What are you talking about?”  Sora yelled.

“I’m supposed to be looking at artificial hearts, and how they can be controlled.  That robot has a heart – or so I’ve been told.  What a joke.”

“Of course he does!” he protested, “There are hearts all around us.  You only have to see them for them to become real!”

Not-Riku sneered, “As if it’s that easy.  Although…”

He trailed off, considering them thoughtfully, before a slow smirk crossed his face.

“Huh.  You know, maybe you two are just what I need to finish this off.”

“What are you talking about?” Sora yelled.

“Hmph.  Put on a good show for me, won’t you?” Riku said.  With a flick of his wrist, he tossed the cards towards the microbots still waiting behind him, which swirled back to life, snatching them from the air before bursting into a whirlwind of activity.

The core lit up on his visor; not-Riku had gone missing.

Only one thing for it.

“Ready, Kairi?”

“Ready!”

The microbots fell into dust and the core clattered to the floor, separating from the heartless possessing it, releasing the heart inside.  All that remained were two data cards, left on the floor.

Baymax flew back in with a sharp whine, Hiro leaping from his back nearly before he’d even touched down.  Then he was off, stumbling over to himself, attention locked on the chips.  The moment he hit his knees beside them, though, Darkness began swirling up around him.

“Hiro!”

A gloved hand curled around the boy’s neck, lifting him away.

“Ah-ah.  These aren’t for you.”

Not-Riku threw him to the ground, snatching the cards up for himself.

“Seems ready…”

“Where did you get that?” Hiro gasped, “That’s my chip – I made it.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll put it right back where I found it.”

Another dark portal beside him, a dingy, hulking figure appearing from the darkness.

“Baymax!” Hiro cried.

“What?” Sora said, “But… Baymax is right here.”

Hiro shook his head, “No, that’s the original Baymax.  He was lost at the same time the microbots were.”

“And then you just turned around and replaced him,” not-Riku said, “Guess that heart of its isn’t all that valuable, if you can simply replicate it on a whim.  That’s alright, though.  We’re happy to give him a new home.”

“Wait, no – “

Not-Riku reached out, opening a compartment on the other Baymax’s chest and inserting the red chip.  The other robot lit up, red eyes staring ominously out at them.

“Baymax, take care of them for me, will you?”

Dark Baymax flashed forward.  The team scrambled out of the way – just in time, as the robot smashed its fist into the roof, cracking the concrete.

Its next swing was met by their Baymax, its fist colliding with Baymax’s palm.  For a moment, they seemed equal, but then Baymax slid back an inch, then another, before they both went rocketing into the sky.

“Baymax!” Hiro cried, rushing to the edge and staring up at them helplessly.

“Huh,” not-Riku said, “Looks like it worked after all.  Guess we can move on to the next phase.”

“You - “ Sora turned, only to find him disappearing into a corridor, “Hey, wait!”

“No time for that!” Hiro said, “C’mon, we’ve got to stop them – ah.”

He paused, taking in the state of the team, scattered across the rooftop.

“Just one moment” Fred said, “Gotta wait for the second wind to kick in.  It always happens, right when – when the stakes turn!”

His body language decried his words, as he couldn’t seem to stand out of a slump.  The rest of the team wasn’t faring much better.  They were visibly exhausted.  They’d all been fighting for ages, and didn’t have much left to give.  Hiro seemed to notice the same thing.

“Actually,” he said, “I’ve got this.”

“Hiro – “ GoGo started.

Hiro cut in over her, “We’re a team, right?  You’ve done your part, so… leave this one to me.”

“I mean, you don’t mind a little help though, right?” Sora asked.

Kairi nodded, coming up beside him, “We can go a little longer.”

For a moment Sora thought Hiro might protest, but instead he gave a helpless smile, nodding.

“Yeah.  Thanks.”

Hiro whistled, and Baymax zipped away from his dark counterpart, flying out in a wide arc.  As he came by, Hiro darted towards the edge, leaping off to land safely on Baymax’s back as he flew back into the sky.

“Ready, Sora?” Kairi asked, stretching out her wings.

“Ready.”

Dark Baymax was strong.  Whatever the Organization did to that chip, it definitely gave him a power boost.

“Uh, guys?” Wasabi’s voice crackled over the radio, “Do you think that other chip that guy had is something we need to be worried about?”

“I think we have more immediate concerns,” GoGo drawled.

“Right, right – uh, it’s just that… I spotted him again, and there’s more of them, now.”

“What?”

“What do they look like?” Kairi asked.

“Uhhh… another short one, and two tall guys – one with long blonde hair, the other with blue.”

“Saïx?” Sora yelled, Kairi’s voice a heartbeat behind his.

“You know them?”

“Yeah, and they’re bad news,” Sora said.

“So, should we do something about them, or…?”

“No!” Kairi protested, “Don’t go near them.  They’re stronger than you know.”

“Yeah, let us deal with them,” Sora agreed, “Ah, but – we can’t just leave Hiro.”

“It’s okay,” Hiro said, “I know we couldn’t do much against those monsters, but we’re heroes too, you know?  And I know Baymax better than anyone else.  I’ve got this.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“…Okay.  Good luck!”

Sora angled away, feeling Kairi fall in behind him.  They circled the area, widening out until he spotted the small congregation of dark figures.  If it wasn’t for the city lights, they wouldn’t be able to see them at all.  As it was, Sora almost missed them, doing a double take and sharply spiking into a dive.

Saïx stood sentinel over the blonde man Wasabi had mentioned, who was crouched over the unknown Organization member, fiddling with something Sora couldn’t see from his vantage point.  Not-Riku was standing a few feet away from them and was the first to notice Sora and Kairi’s approach.

“Oh, look.  Here comes the killjoys,” Not-Riku sneered.

“Hitoshi,” Kairi said, “Please.  Naminé’s waiting.”

Who’s Hitoshi? Sora wondered, watching as not-Riku flinched.

"Who?  And who the hell is Hitoshi?” he sneered, “Are you really that desperate to deny me you have to resort to these mind-games?”

Sora could feel Kairi gearing up to argue, and quickly cut in, “Well, Riku or not-Riku, it doesn’t matter.  Whatever you’re doing, we won’t let you get away with it!  We’ll stop you.”

“You’re welcome to try,” Saïx said, claymore falling into hand.

That was all the invitation Sora needed.

Sora had never fought Saïx.

His body had, he thought, vague, blurred over memories of rage and magic bubbling up to guide him through his enemy’s moves, helping him stay alive.  He'd won back then.  But either Roxas’s magic had pushed him over the edge, or else he really had lost that much power after his failure in the Sleeping Realms, because he wasn’t winning now.

He wasn’t losing, either!  But... He certainly wasn’t gaining any ground.

Kairi seemed to be in an equal stand-still with not-Riku.  Her voice rolled over the area, a steady stream of words he couldn’t quite make out that only seemed to be making not-Riku more enraged.  More than once, Sora had twitched in her direction, ready to intervene.  Only the ring of determination in Kairi’s heart, tolling steadily like a bell, kept him grounded.

But still, they weren’t winning – and Sora was certain they were on a time limit.  It made him impatient, and impatience made him sloppy.  He tried to fly, but still, somehow, Saïx met him every time, the moon reflecting in his eyes.

Help arrived blazing, a spinning disk of flame deflecting off the berserker’s claymore, slamming into the roof.

“Found you!”

“Axel,” Saïx said.

“Saïx,” Axel returned, pulling his chakram from the concrete, “I’d say it’s good to see you again, but, you know.”

He flicked his wrist, and the chakram flashed into his Keyblade – sharp silver point coming out from the circular handle, flames decorating tip.  It looked so much like Roxas’s, Sora thought with a pang.  He really needed to talk with Axel.

But, now wasn’t the time for that.

“Axel,” Sora called, “Think you can deal with Saïx?”

“No problem.  I'll make an opening, you go grab her.”

“Vexen,” Saïx called, face blank.

“Be patient!” The blonde man snapped, “You want this to work right, don’t you?”

Axel and Sora exchanged a glance, a nod – and moved. 

They worked smoothly together.  Axel could almost seem to anticipate Sora’s movements – at least, until he couldn’t, stumbling over things Sora thought should be really obvious.  Still – still! - this was what they needed, he knew it – and then he saw his opening.  Axel had Saïx locked in place and Hitoshi was tangling with Kairi – Sora saw his chance, rushing past them all.  If he could just get to the replica before Vexen finished whatever he was doing -

“And, done!”

Vexen stepped back, hands raised.  The replica raised its head, blue eyes staring out beneath the hood. 

I know those eyes, Sora thought as he reached for it, I’ve seen them before.

His fingers touched fabric, and then the replica was moving, pivoting around him, its arm slamming into his stomach and dropping him to the floor.  He stumbled, disoriented, struggling to regain his balance as he choked on his own breath.  It was all terribly familiar.

That move, it was just like... Riku?  But how?

“Hmph.  My past attempts at replicating Riku may have devolved quickly, but at least the data was useful for something.  Saïx, my work here is done.  I trust you can handle things from here?”

Not waiting for a response, Vexen disappeared, a corridor closing around him.

There was a thud behind him.  Sora glanced back, finding both Saïx and Axel moving forward, only to collide, tangling with each other.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Axel drawled, “What, just gonna leave now your business is done?  Not even a goodbye for an old friend?”

“Hm.  Not quite.”

“What?”

“No. i, deal with Sora.”

“Hey, no - “

The replica darted forward, and Sora had to turn his attention away from the others.  Dark magic pooled around its hands as it lunged, dripping down to sizzle when it hit the ground.

Sora gulped, mentally taking note not to let it touch him.

“H-hey, wait, we don’t have to -”

The replica ignored him, striking again.  Again, he tried to reach out, and again he was met with stony silence.  He didn’t get it – not really, no one had explained – but this replica, it was... important, somehow.  To Naminé, to Axel.  More than just not wanting the Organization to have it, they wanted it to be with them.  If he could just reach them...

Determined, he pressed forward, catching her strike on his Key, holding them locked together – only to stutter, stumbling over himself, because like this he finally got a good look at that face – and he knew it.

That was her face.

Oh.  No wonder she mattered so much to Axel.

“You’re - “ A surge of adrenaline gave him new speed, and he darted a hand out, reaching for her arm.  She jerked back, trying to get away, and her sleeve slipped, his palm meeting bare skin, and it was like lightning shot down his spine.  A second bolt of energy came after, sliding through his veins till it hooked in his chest and pulled.

Nonono what’s happening where am I going 

There was a brief moment of quiet behind him before the violence increased.  Still, Sora couldn’t look away, entranced and terrified by the way scattered starlight bloomed in his chest, fluttered, started slipping down, away.

Transfer? What? No, what, I don’t - 

Sora’s heart picked up – that voice, it was her.  He’d never heard her so clearly while awake, and yet – it was almost like it was coming from a distance, getting further away.

I won’t - I won’t become someone else, not again – I won’t be their tool - 

Behind him, Axel screamed wordlessly, followed by the rustle of feathers, “I am so done with this.  Get out of my way!”

Nonononono! 

 Fire crackled loudly, Kairi’s voice joining the din.  The girl in his heart kept slipping.  He reached down, trying to grasp her the way he had in the past, following the line that connected them – but the force of the replica was like gravity, inescapable.

Suddenly, the attention of that starlight pivoted, looking away from him.

I don’t... understand. 

A shudder ran through her presence, and she was pulled further out, the tether between them stretched so far he thought it would snap.

What? 

She went still, the replica freezing just as solid.  A heartbeat, two.  Sora reached tentatively for the starlight, unsure if he should interrupt, unsure if he would break the connection between him and her altogether.

Suddenly, her presence came back to life, slamming back into his veins.  The return hit him with such force he stumbled back physically, gasping, the replica’s arm slipping from his grip.  It slumped, like the breaking of the tether between them cut its puppet strings, hand going to its head.

Once, twice, thrice it shook its head, getting faster each time, before abruptly falling still once more.  Then, slowly, it straightened.  Empty eyes stared straight through him.  It’s hand twitched; Sora readied himself.

The replica turned and ran.

“Wait, stop!” Axel landed beside him like a comet, eyes wild and shoulders heaving as he looked frantically between Sora and the retreating replica.  After a moment, he groaned through clenched teeth, turning to clap a hand on Sora’s shoulder.

“Are you alright?” he asked.  It felt a bit like he was staring through him, and Sora lifted a hand to press against his chest where she had curled back up, shivering and confused.

“Yeah.  I - we’re okay.”

He hoped he was telling the truth.

For the first time since the fight began, the roof was quiet.  A glance showed Saïx had gathered up not-Riku, who was struggling against his grip, leaving Kairi at loose ends.

“It is time to go.”

“What,” Axel sneered, “Running with your tail between your legs now that your plan fell apart?”

“....hm.”

Axel’s grip tightened as both Organization members vanished in a corridor.  Kairi crept closer, and he finally let go, drawing in a long breath.

“I’m going after her,” Axel said.

Something squirmed in Sora’s chest, uncomfortable, biting, a bitter echo to the unease drifting off Kairi.

“Are you sure?” she asked, “After a fight like that... don’t you need to rest?”

“I can’t stop.  I have to bring her back.  Whatever it takes.”

“Axel...”

“What’s that look for?” he groused, “This is what I’m good at.  I’ve certainly done enough of it before.”

“Don’t burn yourself out,” she sighed, “What good will you do anyone, like that?”

Axel flinched, but looked away, “I know, but... I have to try.”

The starlight in his chest spasmed, seizing up and curling into a cold, miserable ball, sinking down inside him till he could barely feel it.  Axel’s eyes flicked over to him, face pinching.  For a long moment he stared, gaze going distant, before his eyes slipped closed and he sighed, turning away.

“We’ve all got jobs to do, ya know?  You just focus on yours.”

With that, he left through a corridor of his own.  Kairi curled in on herself, clutching at her elbows, and Sora leaned in to press his shoulder and heart against hers.

Sora wasn’t really sure if they won or not.  They didn’t lose, he didn’t think – the replica was no longer in their hands, there was no longer chaos in this world.  But... the replica wasn’t with them, either.

Big Hero 6 seemed to find their victory just as bittersweet.  Despite it all, Fred insisted on celebrating, and the others eventually caved.  After some negotiating, they ended up picking up ice cream from a 24/7 corner store that survived the heartless rampage and climbing their way up the bridge supports near where Sora and Kairi had first landed.  The view was spectacular, the morning sunrise coming up over the city and lighting the water aflame.

“So... two Baymaxes?” Sora asked.

“Yeah,” Hiro sighed, “Baymax was... originally made by my brother.”

“Your brother?”

“Mm, Tadashi.  He wanted to help people – make a difference.  He really… cared about people.  That’s why he worked so hard to create Baymax.”

“He sounds like a really cool guy!  I’d love to meet hi- oof.”

He turned to frown at Kairi, rubbing his ribs where she’d jabbed her elbows in.  What? He mouthed, but she just stretched her eyes wider, minutely shaking her head as she sent him a rush of horror-pain-no!

“The thing is,” Hiro started, then paused, clearing his throat, “There was a fire, and… Now he’s gone.”

“Oh.  I’m… sorry.”

Hiro gave him a small, bleak smile as he shrugged, “Yeah.  But, uh.  A lot happened after that – it turned out the fire wasn’t an accident, and… well, at the end, I lost that Baymax he made.  But, I also learned... that Tadashi was still here.  In all of us, as long as we keep trying to help people like he did.  So, I went through his notes and made a new Baymax.”

“I see.”

Sora tried to go back to this ice cream, but his stomach wouldn’t settle.  Was it his unease, Hers, Kairi’s?  Some mix of all three?  Something about what he said… wasn’t settling right.  There wasn’t anything wrong with it, but… well, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Well, no matter what, there was something he was sure of.

“Tadashi… he lives on in your hearts.”

“Huh?” Hiro blinked at him in confusion before settling into a true smile, “Yeah; right.  He will always be a part of us, in some way.”

Sora turned back to the sky, hand coming up to grip at his chest.

Always be a part of us, huh? ...Yeah, that's right.

Sora and Kairi stayed, even after the locals left, exchanging handshakes and saying goodbyes, another Keychain slipping into Sora’s hands.

He imagined they were off to get some sleep after the long night.  His own eyes were heavy, but the weight sitting in his chest was heavier.  Beside him, Kairi leaned on his shoulder.  As the sun slowly crept its way up the sky, she tangled their fingers together, dropping a quiet-concerned-question? Into him.

He shrugged, trying to find a way to explain it – but ended up just picking up the whole aching bundle of feelings, unable to let go of it but bringing it a bit closer to the surface for her to see.  She hummed softly as she pressed close, the touch of her heart skimming over it.

“Yeah,” she said, “Me, too.  But we’ll find a way through, together.”

A shuddering sigh ripped through him, and he tipped into her, leaning some of his weight into his shoulder.

“You’re right,” he said, eyes slipping closed, “Together.”

When he opened his eyes again, the sun was high in the sky.  Sora blinked slowly.  What woke him?  A moment, and there was a trill – ah, the ringtone.

“Sora, your phone,” Kairi groaned, rolling onto her side and burying her face in his shoulder.

Sora dug through his pockets till he found his phone, but it only showed a blank screen.

“Uh, actually… I think it’s yours.”

Whining softly, Kairi sat up, blindly fumbling until she could get her phone out, then a bit more to actually answer.

“Hello?” she rasped, rubbing blearily at her eyes.

“Hello!” Ienzo replied brightly, “I just wanted to let you know - the replica is ready.  We can transfer Naminé as soon as you get here.”

Next

[phoenix-downer]

Where I Belong Chapter 4

Styx and Stones: ~2685 words. Kairi, Donald, and Goofy descend to the Underworld to search for Hades in the hopes he’ll know how to find Sora.

Story Info: Sora/Kairi. Starts during the end of KH3/during ReMind and moves into KH4. Kairi POV. Angst, Romance, Fluff.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5

The descent into the Underworld was a series of jagged, zig-zagging steps leading lower and lower into the depths of darkness. Kairi followed behind Donald and Goofy as they carefully wound their way down, and she kept glancing behind them. The light was getting dimmer and dimmer, and she was beginning to wonder if it was such a good idea coming here after all. 

This place was wrong. There was so much pain and suffering and regret here, she could sense it in her bones. The souls of the dead who resided here were not happy, and she hoped they would soon escape their prison.

At long last they reached the final stair and passed through a tall gray door. Her legs were tired and she desperately wanted to rest, like this place was sapping her strength and energy. Before them yawned an enormous cavern hewn out of blue-black stones. The shape of the stones made Kairi sick—they looked like giant twisted mushrooms mixed with swollen boils ready to burst. 

Death, rot, disease, decay. This entire place was opposed to everything she stood for. Up ahead was a dark, spooky river undulating with otherworldly light. Kairi gasped and put a hand over her mouth when she realized the strange light was coming from the souls of the dead. They floated along with the current and wore vacant, glassy expressions on their faces. 

Goofy gulped and raised his shield, and Donald took his staff out, shaking all over. If they were this spooked when they’d already been here before…

“What’s wrong?” she asked. 

“Things feel different from last time,” Goofy explained. “Gawrsh, I don’t know what it is, but it’s like somethin’ wrong’s in the air.” 

“Yeah,” Donald said. “This place gives me the creeps.” 

“That’s because all of you should be dead,” said a voice from behind them, and the three of them whirled around. A man with ashy skin and flaming blue hair towered above them. His eyes were yellow, and he was dressed in gray and black robes with a pin in the shape of a skull holding his chiton in place. Black smoke emanated off of the hem of his robes, and his mouth full of pointy, sharp teeth was twisted into a hideous smile.

“Hades?” Kairi guessed, and she felt Donald and Goofy flanking her.

“Ding ding ding we have a winner! What’ll it be, Door #1 or Door #2?” he said, dramatically gesturing to two large, sealed circular doors behind him. “Here’s a spoiler: they both lead to your timely demise.”

“None of us will be dying today,” Kairi said through gritted teeth. “We’re looking for someone who’s already dead.” 

“Yeah, where’s Sora?” Donald quacked. 

“You mean the runt? Little shorty? That brat with the Keyblade? Spike? The little half-pint punk himself?”

The three of them nodded. Hades was not fond of Sora given the slew of derogatory nicknames about his height, that much was clear.

“You’re right, he’s dead as a doornail,” Hades said. “Gave up the ghost. Cashed in his chips, bit the dust, kicked the bucket, shuffled off this mortal coil, took his final bow, crossed the River Styx, yada yada yada. What’s it matter to you, huh?” 

Kairi glared at him. It was so tacky to talk about Sora’s death like that. But something about his words stirred a faint memory in her mind. The River Styx, the River Styx…where had she heard about that before?

An unsettling smirk spread across Hades’ face. “Oh, I see how it is. The little pipsqueak had a pipsqueeze, and that would be you.” 

She bristled. Hades was right, but his fast-talking, slick salesman manner was really starting to get on her nerves. 

“Let me guess: you want to bring your little boyfriend back from the dead.”

She hesitated, then nodded. That was what they wanted to do, right? 

“Not gonna happen unless you give me something in return,” he said, then started counting off different options on his long, pointy fingers. “My favorite brand of souvlaki, Wonderboy’s head on a platter, your freedom for all eternity, your soul for the runt’s, front row seats to the sporting event of my choice for the rest of all time, you know, the usual stuff.”

“Kairi, don’t,” Donald said, shaking his head. 

“Remember what Herc and Meg said,” Goofy said. “You can’t trust him.” 

“Hello, standing right here,” Hades said with a chuckle. “Look, do you want my help or not?”

“What’s it going to cost me?”

“Geez Louise, are you deaf or are you dumb? A soul for a soul, do you think I’m running a charity here?” Hades made a small, smokey version of Sora and herself appear. Sora was clearly dead, and then Hades snapped his fingers and Sora revived while she collapsed to the ground. “Say the word, and the deal’s as good as yours.”

“Kairi, no!” Donald and Goofy said in unison. 

She shook her head. “I can’t. Sora wouldn’t want me to be your prisoner for all eternity.” 

Hades waved his hand irritably. “Then find some other hapless god to pester. Your little boyfriend broke a nature taboo, and I would really be sticking a cork in things by resurrecting him. Not saying that I couldn’t do it, but it had better be worth my while, if you catch my drift.” 

“I’m a Princess of Heart, what if I gave you my abilities?”

Hades scratched his chin. “Princess of Heart, now that’s a phrase I haven’t heard in a Peloponnesian Minute. If I recall, I’d need your six other pals as well for it to do me any good.” He looked at her with a gleam in his eye. “Not saying it’s a bad deal, just that it might not be quite enough to bring back Mr. Knight-in-Squeaky Armor. Not unless you rounded up all your little princess friends.” 

Kairi shook her head. “I can’t do that either.” It was one thing to risk her safety and security; it was another to ask the other members of the New Seven Hearts to—

“Then quit wasting my time!” Hades shouted, the blue flame on his head turning yellow as his entire face transformed into a brilliant red. Kairi winced and stumbled back, and Donald and Goofy clung to her on either side and shook like autumn leaves about to fall off a tree.

If Hades wouldn’t help them, then what could they do? His terms just weren’t acceptable, no matter how badly the three of them wanted to see Sora again. Surely there was another way, something, anything—

She glanced at the river behind Hades. What was it about that river…Earlier, he’d said something about how Sora had crossed the River Styx…was that this river?

“I’m cool, I’m fine,” Hades muttered as he smoothed a hand over his head, pacing back and forth.

“Lord Hades?” she asked, trying a different tactic. “That river behind you, is it the Styx?” 

“Hmmm, let’s see,” he said, making a big show of pretending to think. “A river full of dead people, and Little Miss Princess isn’t sure what it is.” He sneered at her. “Of course it’s the Styx, what else would it be?” 

“So once you cross the river, you move from the realm of the living to the realm of the dead?” 

“Yes! Geez Louise, are they teaching the mortals anything about the afterlife these days?” Hades complained as he gave them all a disappointed look, and the tips of his hair were looking a little orange again. 

“We’ve forgotten our roots,” Kairi said, putting on a serious expression. She looked at Donald and Goofy, and they followed her lead. 

“People really don’t respect you or this here Underworld like they should,” Goofy said, taking off his hat and placing it over his heart. “It’s a cryin’ shame, Your Majesty.” 

“They really don’t,” Donald agreed. “I didn’t even know there was a…Sticks River till I came down here.” 

“Yeah, yeah, butter me up why don’t ya,” Hades said, but he seemed calmer now. The flames on his hair were completely back to blue. Kairi’s gaze flickered to the Styx. Its waters were dark and murky, the only light coming from the souls of the dead. Strange objects floated by—an abandoned toy horse, a broken amphora, the haunted, bloodless face of a dead man silently wailing for help. He didn’t look any older than about eighteen. Their eyes met, and Kairi got the sense that this was a trick, that if she tried to help, she’d get pulled in and trapped forever. 

He continued his slow, creepy float past them, staring at her the entire time and wordlessly calling for help. Shivers went down her spine, but she refused to look away until at last he’d disappeared downstream. She couldn’t get his face out of her head. Maybe it wasn’t a trap and she’d just let an innocent man get dragged down to the depths of the Underworld.

“They’re not a very lively crowd, are they?” Hades said, breaking through her thoughts. “But you’ll be a good little girlfriend and save Keyboy’s soul, right?”

Of course saving Sora was the right thing to do. She couldn’t stop thinking about him. Worrying and wondering about where he was. His face, did it look like the dead man’s face now? Was his skin ashy, his eyes dull, his hair a reddish color instead of rich brown? Were his hands cracked, his lips blue, his nails brittle, his joints cold and stiff? He’d been gone for a year and a half. Was he no better than a walking corpse at this point? 

Tears burned in her eyes at the thought. She sensed his heart still existed somewhere, otherwise he wouldn’t have come to her rescue in that dream, but his poor body—what had happened to it?

Even if he was alive and well somewhere in that unreality place, would he be dead if he came back here? Hades hadn’t said anything about his body, just his soul. Maybe Hades could only bring his soul back but his body would either be forever stuck in Quadratum or rot the moment he set foot back here. 

She wiped her eyes. Well, if he couldn’t come back here, then she would go to him. If he was dead in their universe, then she would die to be with him. And together they’d figure out a way to make it home, she was sure of it. 

“Life isn’t fair, is it?” Hades said, putting an arm around her shoulder. She flinched but pasted a smile on her face, and Donald and Goofy scowled at Hades’ complete lack of regard for her personal space. “The little runt is gone before his sixteenth birthday, leaving you, his little chickie-poo, his precious Kairi-cakes, to pick up the pieces. Your story’s a real Greek tragedy, you know that? But it doesn’t have to be if you make a deal with me.”

She thought about his words. Considered them carefully. There was a lot about life and fate she couldn’t control, but this, this she could. “You’re right,” she finally replied. “My story doesn’t have to end in tragedy, and neither does Sora’s. I won’t let that happen.” 

Hades perked up and offered his hand, and she reached towards him as if to shake it. But at the last second, she summoned her Keyblade and cast a powerful Waterga spell that sent him shrieking backwards. His hair was completely doused and his clothes were soaking wet as he ranted and cursed and raged at her.

“Sorry Donald, Goofy,” she called, “but this is the only way to save Sora. Thank you, for everything.” She smiled sadly at them, then took off running.

“Kairi, no!” they shouted, but she had a head start on them. She sprinted to the river with them right at her tail, then took a flying leap. Time seemed to slow down as the waters of the Styx loomed closer and closer. The souls of the dead stared emptily up at her, and she closed her eyes and braced herself for the impact. 

She expected the water to be cold and clammy. She expected the river to make her shiver and freeze the longer she was in it. Instead, the moment she made contact with the water, her entire body felt like it was on fire. A muffled scream escaped her throat, but that just made the burning so much worse. Gasping, she struggled to the surface, but just as she was about to break through, she felt something grab onto her leg. She screamed again and kicked, hard. Panicking, she kicked some more. She couldn’t die here, she couldn’t, she had to make it across. 

Her head broke above the surface, and she gasped for breath, her lungs burning.

“Guess you’re not the brightest lamp in the Agora after all,” Hades called. “You’ll be dead before you can make it to the other side.” 

“Kairi, no!” Donald cried. 

“Hang on,” came Goofy’s voice, “we’ll—”

The souls of the dead grabbed her and dragged her down with them once more. She thrashed and screamed as they pulled her deeper and deeper. Hades was right. She was gonna die here before she got anywhere close to the opposite shore.

No. She couldn’t die here. She just couldn’t. She summoned her Keyblade and called on the light deep within her heart. She thought of Sora, thought of his smiling face as they sat on the paopu tree together just moments before he’d disappeared. The light burst forth from her so powerfully that it pushed back the poor dead souls trying to cling to her. Only one remained, and she made one more strong, firm kick downward to shake it. Free at last, she swam towards the opposite bank like her life depended on it, and indeed her death to save Sora’s life did. 

But a strange thing was happening. The more she swam, the foggier her thoughts became. Her memories floated aimlessly through her mind, disjointed, the people important to her flickering. Panicking, she swam faster, but that just made it worse.

“Kairi, the chains of your memories are coming undone!” came Naminé’s worried voice in her mind. 

I know, Kairi wanted to say. I know, but Sora’s worth it—

A girl with dark hair and blue eyes that looked like Kairi appeared too. “Your connection to us is fading, Kairi, we’re losing you!” 

I’m losing you too, she thought to herself, her throat tightening. But to find Sora she had to lose it all. She kept swimming with strong, firm strokes. 

“Careful, Red, you can’t carry on like this much longer!” a man with fiery red hair cried. But she had to.

“Kairi, come back and finish your training,” a woman with short blue hair and stern but caring eyes commanded, and for a moment Kairi almost listened. But reaching Sora was more important. 

“Kairi! Kairi!” she faintly heard two voices call from the shore she’d jumped off of. 

I’m sorry…I’m sorry…

Green eyes and silver hair flashed through her head. “Kairi, what are you doing? You were supposed to stay safe at home, I promised you’d be okay! What’s Sora gonna say when he—” 

But who was Sora? She couldn’t remember. Why was she in this river anyway? She was tired, she was so tired, everything hurt and her entire body burned and all she wanted to do was sink to the bottom and rest—

“KAIRI!”

Her eyes flew open. That voice, she knew that voice. 

“Don’t you dare die on me, not again, please not again,” the voice begged. “I didn’t die so you would die, I want you to live, you have to live!” 

She smiled faintly. Oh Sora, don’t you see? If I die, then we’ll both have a shot at living again. 

At long last she felt the ground beneath her feet. The river was getting more and more shallow, she was almost free of it, she was almost to the other side—

With the last of her energy, she stepped onto dry ground and collapsed.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: Thank you to everyone who liked and reblogged the previous chapter, I really appreciate it! Writing Hades’ dialogue and interactions with the other characters was a lot of fun and provided some levity from the heavier moments in the chapter. 

Aquafolia requested Kairi cross the River Styx to search for Sora to parallel his sacrifice for her, and I also drew on a previous story I’d written to describe Kairi’s experiences (but in that case it was Sora who took a plunge in the river), Lifeline. Shoutout to Liv as well for proofreading this chapter ❤️ 

Thank you for reading! Next week I’ll post the final chapter. 

[freakingoutthesquares]

12 May 1994 Jarvis Interview - Acrylicafternoons.com

The week before Pulp began their French tour to promote the newly released His 'n' Hers LP, Jarvis was interviewed by a journalist from a French newspaper in what sounds like a busy London café. The following is edited from the transcript of their 45 minute chat. Complete interview transcription: Here

Could you describe the other musicians in the band and tell me what kind of people they are?

Well, I'll have a go. Russell has been in the band the longest apart from myself. He joined at the end of 1984 [actually end 1983!]. I'd say he's probably the most intense person in the group as people will probably guess because of his stare. He's always had a piercing stare. It was always his method of getting girls. If he liked someone, he would just stare at them until they got so intimidated by it they'd come up and ask him why he was staring at them. And then they'd start talking! But because he's so intense, he's not the easiest person to get on with. I think sometimes people find him difficult, but he is a father now and I think that's calmed him down a bit. You can't stare at your child or it'll start crying! So it's kind of smoothed the edges off him a little bit.

He is quite unique - I've never met anybody else remotely like him... ever, so that's quite good. He's also a very good cook. He's unpredictable. I think that's the main thing he provides in the group - he's quite a random factor. Sometimes he'll play things completely out of tune, and you'd think 'what are you doing?', and then other times he'll play something that nobody else would think of playing. Like everybody in the group he's self-taught, so none of us know anything about scales or which notes should follow which, so it's always a bit of a lottery. But I think you get more interesting things that way otherwise you might just follow a formula. So that's Russell.

The next person to join was Candida. I think it's very important that she's in the band because she's a girl. I think often with bands if it's all boys together then no matter what you're like, it tends to get a bit kind of rugby club mentality. You know like when you hear men talking in a pub, most of what they're talking about is a load of crap. They just brag-off to each other, and most of it's lies. And it can get like that in groups sometimes so it's good to have a female influence. People always used to think Candida was a child because she's so small. She's probably the most stable person in the group - she's very reliable. Well, she's not very reliable in things like turning up on time, but you can always rely on her to be even-tempered and level-headed.

She also collects very bright things. She's quite funny because she gets a bit self-conscious at times. We were doing a video yesterday and she doesn't like being photographed or anything, so she drank a bottle of gin just to mime playing the keyboards, which was funny! She didn't even seem drunk either. Again, she's unique as well because I've never met another person like her.

So the next person to join was Nick. I suppose Nick is most normal person in the group - being the drummer - and he's strange in some ways in that sometimes he seems to want to put on this exterior of being a gruff northern man who's just interested in eating pie and chips. But he isn't really like that - he's quite well educated. He worked as a teacher - design and technology or something like that - and I suppose he's probably the most cagey person in the group in that you don't know what he's thinking about a lot of the time because he doesn't volunteer information about personal things. He prefers to talk about football and things like that.

And then there's Steve the bass player who was the last one to join in 1988. He used to be in a very bad heavy metal band. Well it wasn't heavy metal - they kind of missed their time because they were a bit like the Stooges and stuff like that. But since then there've been lots of groups that have tried to do that kind of thing, but no-one else was really doing it at that time. But he left to come down to London. I'd say he's the most efficient person in the band. He's good at being organised. When we make videos he produces them because he can phone people up and organise things to be at certain places at certain times.

He's currently homeless and living in a hotel. I think his life's in a bit of disarray at the moment which I feel a bit sorry for him about. He's probably the best looking person in the band and lots of girls like him. And I don't blame them! He's also the tallest member of the band - he's about an inch taller than me. I suppose I kind of know him best because we both live in London and so we tend to see each other more than the rest of the group who still live in Sheffield. So we go out to concerts together and things like that.