#But you know she's attached to her dad and her idealization of her dad must fall before she can accept Thornton

[thatscarletflycatcher]

My old arch-nemesis, we meet again ("it's all about the sex" academia)

[a-case-of-attachment]

So in Hell’s Greatest Dad, Lucifer tells Charlie that ‘with a punch of a pentagram’ and ‘usually I charge a sacrificial lamb’ when he’s offering to help her with the hotel and it got me thinking. Surely he must have had people sacrifice things in his honour or for favours before right? So….what if when something is sacrificed to him it ends up down in Hell?

It works like some sort of inter dimensional postal service. Lucifer will just be doing whatever then a portal will open up above him full of weird oil slick coloured clouds and lightening cracking across the endless sky with the boom of thunder not far behind. Out of the portal flies a cherub sized faun wearing a shirt, waistcoat and bow tie brandishing a clipboard that’s got the contract attached to it. All the important things will be on there like who’s doing the sacrificing, what they are sacrificing and what they want in exchange for it. Lucifer can either accept the sacrifice and sign the document, giving the sinner what they want or just straight up refuse to sign, decline the sacrifice and instead have it sent off to purgatory.

The problem is that Lucifer is so jaded that he doesn’t even bother reading the contracts any more. Sinners all want the same thing anyway, fame, fortune, revenge, so what’s the point even bothering to look these days? It’s not like he gets that many sacrifices in his name anymore and when he does it’s mostly just lambs and goats, the occasional dog or guinea pig and a cat that one time. He often just gives them to people as pets, it’s how Charlie had gotten razzle and dazzle.

But you know, people are deranged and over the centuries there have been a handful of human souls that come his way. Lucifer never accepts those, often get angry that people actually think killing someone would make him happy. Shocker, it doesn’t. All it did was prove that humans really are just the worst, a race of violent psychopaths hellbent on causing as much pain and destruction as they can. Yes Lucifer felt bad that these people had died and for nothing but he wasn’t about to reward some lowlife scumbag for taking another’s life so unfortunately that meant the sacrificed soul was purgatory bound. It wasn’t ideal but it also wasn’t permanent. At least there they would get the chance to move onto heaven eventually and not be stuck in this infernal nightmare for all of eternity.

So no, Lucifer didn’t do human sacrifices. Except, well, maybe he did.

It was an accident! Lucifer had been distracted, him and Charlie having a slight disagreement about the hotel and her expectations when it came to heaven. He hadn’t meant to upset her but she needed to realise that very few angels would be as open to the idea of redemption as he or Emily had been. It had been just about the time Lucifer had been urging Charlie to proceed with caution when it came to Heaven that a portal opens above him, a little faun flying out, clipboard already in hand and looking down at Lucifer through the spectacles perched on its nose.

Lucifer had attempted to ignore the blasted thing but it just flys around his head, brandishing the clip board and tapping impatiently at its wristwatch until Lucifer finally had enough and snatches the board off him, quickly flipping to the back and signing it before shoving it back at the startled faun. It just huffs at him, jotting something down before tearing off a sheet and giving it back to Lucifer only to disappear back into the portal. Lucifer doesn’t look at the contract he just signed, not caring what shallow and self serving thing the mortal had asked for. He goes back to Charlie, continuing to urge to not trust heaven so easily, all the while holding his arms out expectantly to catch whatever animal is going to drop out of the portal.

Lucifers expecting a lamb or a goat, heavyish for a human but nothing for him, except he gets something much larger and heavier, the shock of it knocking Lucifer to the ground. His first thought is some wretched mortal had sacrificed a cow or horse, either to lazy to find the usual offering or thinking the bigger the sacrifice the better the reward. Either way Lucifer is already regretting his choice to grant their wish, no clue what he is supposed to do with a cow other than send it down to a farm on wrath. Grumbling Lucifer sits up slightly, tugging at his hat that had been pushed down over his eyes but when he mages to pull his hat off Lucifer realises it’s so much worse than a cow.

There’s a person on his lap. A very human person sprawled across his lap and legs, their weight pinning him to the floor. You are dressed all in a white, the fabric almost see through though the top part was stained red with blood. Lucifer can’t look past your chest, the demonic sigils carved there still oozing blood. When he does manage to look up it’s to fined wide fear filled eyes staring back at him. The two of you just stare at one another, Lucifer feeling more and more panicked as the seconds drag on whilst you look close to passing out.

The whole room is silent and Lucifer just knows that they are all staring at the two of you, just as shocked as him and waiting for one of you to do something. Charlie is the first one to make a move, slowly creeping across the room to lay a hand on your shoulder. She probably meant to be a reassuring gesture but it’s a mistake nonetheless. It startled you, causing you to fall from Lucifers lap and giving you the first real view of the room and the rest of its inhabitants. Things go about as well as you would think.

You start screaming, Charlie panics as she tries to calm you down but only makes it worse, Angel dust offers you a drink that gets knocked out his hand and ends up all over Husk and Alastor offers to silence you permanently. Needless to say that none of what they are doing helps calm you down or make you feel any less afraid and all Lucifer does is sit there, staring down at the smear of red on his white pants and struggling to wrap his head around what in the hell is happening because he couldn’t have just accepted a human soul as payment. He’s never done that before, never, and yet there you are, cowering in the corner like a frightened animal, eyes franticly darting around as you look for some form of escape.

It’s that look of pure terror that gets Lucifer up and moving, handing off his hat and cane to Charlie as he gets everyone to back up and give you some space. He approached you slowly, hands held up in front of him to show you he meant no harm and keeping his voice soft and calm as he tells you that no one’s going to hurt you, that your safe here with them. He makes sure to leave a little bit of space between you when he stops, sinking down into a crouch so he’s eye level though you won’t look at him for long, eyes darting around at even the slightest movement. You’re still bleeding, the sigil for his name looking the deepest. It makes Lucifer feel sick, that someone could do this to you and claim that it’s in his honour. He found no honour in an act like this, only hate and disgust, igniting a strong desire inside him to hunt down those responsible and show them the same kindness they had you.

It takes a good few minutes of Lucifer talking at you before he gets any form of response. He introduces himself, tells you once more that he isn’t going to hurt you and that he just wants to help and maybe even clean up those markings so they don’t get infected. It’s slow going but eventually you give him a slight nod, uncurling from where you had been trying to make yourself as small as possible so he can get a better look at the ugly mess of cuts on your chest. He startled you when he conjures water and a cloth, Lucifer apologising as you bang into the wall behind you in an attempt to get away from the sudden action. He does get you to calm down though, at least enough for him to clean away the blood and apply bandages.

These wounds will not disappear like the injuries the now resident of Hell would sustain, their origin in magic and acting as a physical sign of your binding to him. But Lucifer vows to look after them and you, after all this is all his fault and though he knows that Charlie would care for you if he was to up and leave he can’t bring himself to do so. It’s his responsibility to look after you, you are his after all and isn’t that just a horrific twisted little thought. Lucifer wants to cry, to beg your forgiveness because unless he was to gift your soul to another you were bound to him from now until eternity, forced to obey his every request regardless of what you wanted. He can’t cry though, not when you already are, silent tears rolling down your cheeks and dripping off your chin onto his hand and arm as he cleans away the blood. So he fights back the tears, completely focused on his task and trying to be as gentle as he possibly can be.

When he’s done and the now ruined rag and pink water are vanished away with the wave of his hand Lucifer doesn’t know what else to do other than offer you a safe space of your own and a comfortable bed to sleep in so he does exactly that. You look terrified when he asks if you would like to go to bed, eyes dropping down to just below his belt. Lucifer might actually be sick when he realises what you are scared is going to happen and he can’t get the words out quick enough to reassure you that he means to sleep and that you will be the only person in the room. His obvious horror at the implication seems to reassure you and you give him a small nod.

You use the wall to support you getting up but as soon as you go to take a step forward your legs buckle and Lucifer has to lurch forward to grab hold of you before you can hit the floor. Your to weak, wether that be from the shock or the blood loss Lucifer doesn’t know, possibly both, but what he does know is you are not going to make it up the several flights of stairs on your own.

He asks before picking you up, waiting for you to give him a nod of agreement before he slips one hand behind your back and the other behind your knees. It’s nothing for him to pick you up but it had you squeaking in surprise, flinging your arms around his neck and pulling yourself tighter against him. Lucifer can’t help laugh softly, assuring you that he was stronger than he looked and that he wouldn’t drop you. You don’t seem to buy it though, your hold around his neck tightening as you hide your head against his shoulder. He can’t blame you for being scared, Licifer looks like a strong breeze would send him stumbling but he supposes that’s one of the perks of being an angel, he’s stronger than he looks.

It’s only when he turns around that Lucifer realises the rooms completely empty except for the two of you. He doesn’t know when everyone else disappeared but he’s grateful for it, not sure how you would have reacted to a room full of weird looking people staring at you. He talks to you the whole time up to your room, telling you where he was taking you and a little about the hotel and it’s residents, though he mostly tell you about Charlie and Vaggie, the only other people he trusts to look after you correctly if he wasn’t around. Lucifer picks a room for you on the same floor as him though a couple of doors down in an attempt to keep you close and also give you some probably much needed distance. He sets you down on the bed, tells you where everything is including his room, just in case you need him before he comes back to check the bandages in a few hours. He does conjure you some sleep clothes though, making sure they were the softest and most comfortable thing you have ever worn. He wants you to be comfortable, to actually feel safe after what you have been through and though he knows the simple kindness he has showing you will not erase that it will hopefully show you that despite what you may have heard Lucifer isn’t all that bad.

Lucifer hates himself just a little bit more after what he does next, crouching down to look you in the eye and telling you that you can’t leave the hotel room unless he comes to get you or you are going to his room and nowhere else. Normally it would just be words but you are bound to Lucifer now and even you don’t want to you will have no choice but to obey him. You stiffen, nodding your head slightly but still you don’t say a word, not even when he bids you good night. He doesn’t even get the door half way closed before he hears you start to cry. He wants to go back, to take you in his arms and apologise for what has been done to you whilst reassuring you that life here will not be as bad as you think. He doesn’t though, wanting to give you time to greave and mourn the loss of your life.

He doesn’t even make it two steps down the corridor before it all really hits him and Lucifer crumbles, sinking to the floor and pressing his hand against his mouth in an attempt to muffle his own sobs. He doesn’t know what he’s supposed to do, or how he’s even meant to care for you correctly. Animals were easy, simple to please, humans not so much. Plus Lucifer owned you, he would have to be extremely carful of what he said because even an offhanded comment would be taken as a command and you could end up getting seriously hurt.

It’s too much, Lucifer not equipped to deal with such responsibility but he has no choice, he has to. This is all his fault after all and he couldn’t abandon you in your hour of need. No he would figure this all out, tend to your wounds and help you adjust to life here in hell. He would help you find a place to call home, maybe at the hotel helping with the sinners or maybe something down in one of the other rings. Just somewhere you could feel truly safe and at ease. Whatever you wanted Lucifer would make it yours, giving you as much a slice of paradise as he can. How else would he atone for his mistake?

[doodlebloo]

Can you talk more about your c!tubbo origin headcanon?

YESSSSS OHMYGOD I WAS HOPING SOME1 WOULD ASK.

The short version is that Lady Death and Ianite made a bet over who would be the better father, Sparklez or Philza, and Sparklez ended up being the better dad so Lady Death gave Tubbo her eternal blessing (described further below), eventually she realizes that this blessing might lead to a lot of survivor's guilt for him and as consolation she blesses the baby piglin he's grown attached to (Michael), which makes the effects of zombification slowly dwindle until the kid can grow up big and strong.

LONG VERSION UNDER THE CUT :D

Lady Death and Ianite are goddess pals who have tea sometimes and talk about their silly lil champions (Sparklez and Philza). On one of these days the topic of fatherhood comes up. c!Wil is still fairly young and Mumza is talking about how good of a father c!Phil is shaping up to be, Ianite reckons that Sparklez would make a pretty good father too.

Well as gods tend to do they end up making a friendly little wager about this. They'll find a baby, Sparklez gets to parent him for the first 6 years of his life and Phil gets the second 6 years, they see which did a better job. Whoever's champion was the less good father has to use up some of their power to bless the child on their 18th birthday.

So they find little orphan c!Tubbo as a baby and Ianite gives him to Sparklez. She explains everything and is honest abt the fact it's a wager, he's not a huge fan of the idea but isn't gonna NOT take care of the baby, plus he'd rather the kid gain the favor of Ianite than of Death. c!Tubbo has a pretty great early childhood with him, not perfect bc Sparklez has never BEEN a dad before so there's some bumps but overall the new prince of fallen kingdom has a nice life.

At age 6, c!Tubbo is taken, his memory is wiped and he's left in a box on the side of the road for c!Phil to find. c!Phil has no interest in adopting him but Lady Death convinces him to at least try. c!Phil begrudgingly takes c!Tubbo home, but a combination of factors (c!Crimeboys already being a handful, c!Phil's desire to be a nomadic adventurer with c!Techno, c!Tubbo's lingering feeling that this isn't His family) leads to c!Tubbo's childhood being less than ideal. He isn't necessarily neglected, he just doesn't really click with his new family the way Death hoped he might (except for c!Tommy of course, but c!Phil doesn't really consider c!Tommy his son.) Tldr, c!Phil makes an effort but doesn't really bond with c!Tubbo that much and ultimately decides not to stop him when he and c!Tommy (both aged 13) leave home to go exploring.

Now that c!Tubbo is thirteen, it's time to pick a winner, and after some deliberation they both agree that Ianite wins this one. As a result Lady Death must bless c!Tubbo. She ponders over what blessing to give him, and by the time she checks in on him again he's already lost two lives and she quickly realizes that he needs her blessing NOW, not at eighteen like they'd previously agreed upon.

Lady Death blesses c!Tubbo with the gift of survival on the day he becomes president of New L'Manberg. It isn't that he CAN'T die, just that his odds of survival in any given situation are much higher than average. An unintended side effect of this is that c!Tubbo feels strangely at ease when discussing death, not always taking it as seriously as he needs to.

Lady Death figures her job is done and goes about her business for another six months (which to her is like five minutes) before she sees c!Tommy appear in her domain. He's in limbo, and, knowing how important he is to her pseudo-champion c!Tubbo, debates sending him back before he gets yoinked back on his own.

(Lady Death doesn't appreciate whoever's messing with the laws of life and death down there, but c!Phil doesn't seem worried so she leaves it be.)

She checks in on c!Tubbo (she tells herself it's out of curiosity but really she's started to care abt him a bit) and finds him doing an absolutely terrible job of processing c!Tommy's temporary death, and she realizes that because of her "blessing" and the dangerous place c!Tubbo has settled down, he's very likely to outlive all of his loved ones.

She feels kind of bad about it, because while Death is a natural part of life, she figures that since she had a hand in kind of messing with his childhood she should at least help shape his future. It takes her a LOT of power to mess with the code of a Player (blessing c!Tubbo took a lot out of her) but blessing a mob is a lot easier, and luckily c!Tubbo has gotten absurdly attached to a little zombie piglet recently.

Lady Death bestows Michael_B with the same blessing as c!Tubbo, survival despite the odds, and said blessing also applies to his zombie curse. His parents' attempts to cure him work like a charm because of this increased likelihood of survival, and he's cured within a year.

As for c!Tubbo, he continues to be surrounded by death at every turn and has come to think of death like an old friend for reasons he can't articulate. Also for reasons he can't articulate, he feels like he does have someone else out there who cares about him but can't put his finger on it since his early childhood memories are so blurry.

(Sparklez, meanwhile, asks for regular updates on c!Tubbo and has more than once requested to be sent to help c!Tubbo fight. He knows he isn't c!Tubbo's dad anymore but he still finds himself caring about him a lot because they bonded so tightly in c!Tubbo's early years. Quietly, he plans to break into c!Tub's home SMP when no one is looking because he'll be damned if c!Phil gets to meet c!Tubbo's kid and he doesn't.)

((Fuck the canon ending. In this au c!beeduo reconcile and c!Tubbo reconnects with c!Sparklez and his family takes a lil vacation to Fallen Kingdom and all is well <3))

[spitfirerose]

hey I saw that commissioned art of Ed and Elena from today and I'm super curious about her !! how do you fit her into the timeline of fmab ? is she Ed's twin or is she younger than him ? is she younger or older than Al ? how does she feel about Hohenheim ? what does she think about team Mustang ? what is her role on the Promised Day ? is she an alchemist like her brothers or was she born without the ability ? no worries if you can't or don't want to answer these, I'm just really intrigued by Elena. I don't think I've seen an Elric sibling OC before and I think it's a really cool idea. :)

Hello! Thank you for your expressed interest :D I actually have a whole FMAB timeline that I'll one day transcribe into fic. Elena is the youngest of the three, putting her about a year younger than Alphonse (making Ed two years older). Being the baby in the family makes them protective of her, and so she doesn't join them on their journey until after the Fifth Laboratory when Ed is hospitalized. She's spent all this time at the Rockbell's practicing her alchemy, reading, training -- anything she can do to help out around Resembool. All Elena wants is to be like her brothers, unaware that she *is* enough just by being herself.

Elena doesn't remember much about Hohenheim since she was very young when he left, but the few memories she does possess are kind, at least. It doesn't seem fair to hate him like their big brother does. Hohenheim is their Dad, and she wants to believe he's a good person even though she knows next to nothing about him. It's heartbreaking for him to meet his daughter he never got to see grow up, but there's also an immense sense of pride over the strong, kindhearted young lady Elena has become.

As for Team Mustang, it varies from member to member. Elena has heard numerous complaints from Ed, but thinks they're unfounded. Everyone is kind and respectful towards her (because she isn't Edward, they say), so clearly they must be responsible mature adults. This opinion quickly sours when she goes with Mustang and Havoc to fight Lust and they run away scared. Hawkeye is the ideal role model that gives off Mom Energy. Fuery is a kindred spirit. Falman and Breda aren't really around for her to form an opinion, but they're still cool.

(Speaking of Team Mustang, Elena only knows Hughes for a couple days and grows very attached to him and his family. They make her think what could have been. Nostalgia for a time that never existed.)

Elena's role for the Promised Day is a candidate for sacrifice like her brothers. She participated in human transmutation and paid with her voice, so she uses sign language to communicate as well as simply writing things down in a notebook. This book also contains handwritten transmutation circles until she remembers Truth. Alkahestry becomes an interest of hers since it seems like a very useful skill to learn -- particularly the healing aspect --, and tries to have May and Lan Fan teach her the basics. This is put to the test in the commission art, but as to how that works out....

Anyway I just have a lot of feelings about character growth and development in response to life-or-death situations and trauma :) Thank you again for asking about Elena!

[sanjosenewshq]

I am sorry they had been offended however their lengthy tales crammed me up

Expensive Abby: My girlfriend has a passion for lengthy tales, many occasions on the telephone, and he or she’s petty. This morning, she known as and proceeded to explain, at size, the nightmare she had skilled final evening. I attempt – I actually do – to hear, however I often find yourself pondering, What is the level of getting a protracted nightmare dialog? As a result of I used to be bored, I began utilizing the pc to lookup some meal coupons. When she discovered them, she interrupted her monologue, resulting in forwards and backwards accusations, “I interrupt you, you interrupt me,” and many others., and many others., and many others. I’ve all the time been simply uninterested in lengthy conversations about minor points or non-issues. Typically individuals criticize me as a result of I clearly do not care. How do I repair this so that individuals do not get upset after they insist on these pointless tales? Right this moment I needed to dangle up as a result of our “dialogue” was escalating. Boredom simply in Las Vegas Expensive simply bored: If this occurs recurrently, the issue could also be that you’ve a brief consideration span. Nevertheless, if that is not the case, it is time to understand that relationships are primarily based on individuals who take the time to attach with one another. This contains listening and listening in addition to talking. For those who worth your relationship along with your girlfriend, attempt to do extra. He helped her discover a compromise by stating how she had modified some lengthy monologues. Expensive Abby: I’m nearly 30 years previous, not married and don’t have any kids. I am a workaholic. I like my nieces and nephews to loss of life, and being an aunt is one in every of my all-time favourite issues. My drawback is: I do not wish to have kids. I began courting once more a number of months in the past, and it looks as if any man I am going on a date with thinks he can change my thoughts about children. I’ve private medical causes for not wanting to present beginning. After all, if you happen to met a man with children, that will be excellent! I shall be an ideal mother. So why do I get known as soiled as a result of I selected to not have kids? Everybody says I am going to change my thoughts as soon as I meet the best man, however that is not a debatable difficulty. If we’re to undertake or take into account different choices for youngsters, I’m greater than prepared. There are kids who want a house greater than I must deliver one into this world simply to go on my DNA. Please assist me perceive what I’m lacking. Unfazed in Idaho expensive breakup: Not each girl needs to have kids. that is the reality. For somebody to name you “soiled names” due to how you’re feeling is impolite judgment. Motherhood must be – and nonetheless is – a private selection, and contraception permits us the liberty to train that selection as we see match. It’s attainable that you’re within the mistaken age group. For those who give attention to older males who usually tend to have kids already, I wager you will get fewer peels and have a greater end result. There are additionally courting apps for {couples} who wish to stay childless or for many who are already dad and mom. Verify them out. Expensive Abby: This will sound sort of horrifying, however I wish to know if I ought to write a letter to my daughter and son for them to learn after my loss of life to allow them to understand how proud I’m to be their mom. Is that this factor to do? Grateful mother in the course of the west Expensive mother: I do not see something mistaken with that. Nevertheless, the very best factor to do is to go this message on to your son and daughter principally And you might be nonetheless among the many dwelling. Written by Abigail Van Buren, aka Jane Phillips, Expensive Abby, it was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. Originally published at San Jose News HQ

[andtheydontstopwriting]

𝘾𝙪𝙧𝙨𝙚𝙨 -【Rodrick Heffley x F!Reader】- One-Shot

rating: pg

word count: 6.2k

summary: [y/n], daughter from a wealthy family from New York City, has been keeping her relationship with rodrick heffley a secret from her parents, though what happens if it’s brought up and her parents want to meet the secret boyfriend?

author’s note: here it is! hope you guys all enjoy it!! though i did want to let you know that i wrote this originally as a piece of work for my original character, which is why it is in third person! if you want to request anything feel free to!! once again, thank you for reading it!

keys: [y/nn] - your nickname

“I didn’t mean to tell them, [Y/NN].” Caleb spoke in hushed tones, as he attempted to prevent any outburst that he doubted would come from his younger sister, but it was still something that he felt that needed to be stopped, “But I’m sure neither you or Rodrick would exactly be thrilled if you ended up going to homecoming with David or Chad, and you know how dad-.”

 “Listens to you, yes, I do know that, Caleb,” [Y/N] began, though her train of thought was shooting off in a million different directions, “And I do appreciate you trying to stick up for my happiness, but now we have to deal with what comes with doing that.”

 It did not take long for Caleb to know what [Y/N] meant, because their father did bring it up in the conversation that started this whole situation. 

 “Father and Mother want to meet him.”

 “And I don’t know if I can teach Rodrick to have the manners and social know-how that we and whoever Father believes would be more acceptable.”

 “Maybe it’s for the best that’s the case, [Y/NN],” Caleb pointed out, placing a gentle hand on his 

sister’s shoulder, “Give yourself the chance to step out of the spotlight for once, your happiness is what’s important.”

 [Y/N] merely just nodded, because she knew that the standards their father placed on both of them were vastly different. Caleb could afford some level of security in the notion of not being worried about what their father thinks, because he does not have to work so hard to make their father happy. 

 This was something the teenager always had to grapple with growing up. Eventually, coming to terms with since she was the youngest, her future compared to her older brother’s was uncertain, unclear, and too many factors were up in the air: where was she going to college? What would her major be? What would her future career be? What sort of family would she have? Who would she marry?

 Whereas Caleb had his future planned from the moment he was born: attend an ivy league for business then take over the family company, marry a family friend/one of the daughters of their father’s business associates or a family that would be useful to merge with and have a family. It was always clear and never questioned, even when they were kids. It took little effort on his part to make their father happy, because the expectations were clear as day and never took a moment of thought to figure out.

 It was her burden to bear, and never had the strength in her to expect anyone to understand the judging gaze always cast her way, as if waiting for her to mess up or make a mistake to remind her of her failures no matter how perfect she appeared to the public eye. To her own boyfriend, even.

 And part of her subconscious wished it would remain that way forever. But life has a funny way of working out in the end.

 Her parents at dinner the same night her and Caleb conferred, they brought up having this mystery boy their daughter had been seeing secret over for dinner so they could have a chance to finally meet. [Y/N] had little say in the matter and the Saturday before Homecoming was agreed upon.

 As soon as she returned to her bedroom for the night, [Y/N] knew she had to bring it up to Rodrick as soon as she could if they were to have any chance of staying together after that Saturday. The week they just about had was not going to be enough, but [Y/N] still felt she had to put the effort into trying to teach Rodrick at least table manners her parents would expect. But perhaps even that was pushing it.

:~+~:

“Your parents want to meet me?”

 “Well, they did say they want to meet you, but I don’t think it’s because they know it’s you, Rodrick.” 

 Perhaps on their near nightly phone call was not the ideal place to tell Rodrick about the dinner, but it was the first instance she could get it out without her anxiety getting the better of her about telling him in the first place. It saved her having to tell him in person and save herself from seeing how he reacted in real time. 

 “And dinner was the best place for that to happen?” Rodrick questioned after a brief moment of silence and a familiar squeak of some springs faintly resounded into the speaker on his end. He must have 

 “With my family, yes,” The blonde confirmed, “With all things considered, with the holidays too far away and Homecoming approaching sooner, and they specifically said they wanted to meet you before the dance, a dinner is the only way.” 

 “Okay…” Rodrick trailed off, going silent for a moment, “When is dinner anyway?”

 “Next Saturday,” [Y/N] replied, though quickly added before her boyfriend could speak, “We’re gonna have to have etiquette lessons, Rod, so I can teach you everything that you’re gonna need if you’re gonna make it through the night.”

 “What do you mean etiquette, babe?” 

 “Like how to sit at a table, which fork and spoon to use and when to use them, what you can and can’t say, that sort of stuff. The basics.” 

 “Do you think a week is enough time to teach me all that junk?”

 “Luckily for you, you have a great teacher and someone who has been taught this stuff her whole life, I think something will stick.”

 “Alright, whatever you say babe,”

 “I’ll even help you get ready,” [Y/N] promised, though had to amend it with, “I’ll try to, anyway, I'll at least come over to make sure you have an appropriate outfit because t-shirts won’t cut it.”

 There was a clear groan of annoyance on the other end of the line before the teenager spoke, “You know I hate wearing ties, [Y/N], and I’m already pushin’ wearing it for Homecoming and not to church.” 

 “I know, I know,” [Y/N] sighed as she brought a hand up to her face as she stood from her bed to start pacing her room, “But it’s just for one more night than normal, Rodrick, I promise.”

 “And what do I get in return, huh?”

 “A girlfriend?”

 “Okay, yeah, that’s a pretty solid deal.”

 “So lessons start tomorrow, okay?”

 “After the band practice,”

 “After the band practice then.” [Y/N] confirmed as she sat on her bed once more, “Good night, sweetheart.”

 “Night, babe.” 

:~+~:

Okay, so the lessons did not go great, but they went about as well as [Y/N] expected. Teaching Rodrick how to behave and act as closely to the way she and her brother had grown up being taught was like pulling teeth, and much like chemistry, it was looking like nothing was sticking. And if anything was sticking, it was gone by the next day and they had to start over.

Meaning, come that fateful Saturday, [Y/N] could only hope that her very quick rundown of the basics, the true basics of what Rodrick needed to know the night before when she went over the Heffley’s house the previous night to get possible outfit choices ready and wrinkle free knowing the state of his bedroom and how clothes could be just...existing on the floor and if it was a process for her to find clean t-shirts of his to steal, then she figured the dressier clothes he owned were living the same way.

“What’s troubling you, little bird?” Her mother asked her daughter, as she had noticed that [Y/N] had been a little distracted in chopping the vegetables up. Not only that, she had been on edge since had left her bedroom that morning.

 “I’m worried about dinner tonight, Mother,” [Y/N] answered, shaking her head a bit to refocus her attention on chopping the vegetables.

 “I’m sure your Father will be on his best behavior, there’s no reason to be worried.” Helena spoke softly, reassuring her daughter with the soothing tones and having set the spoon down beside the stove top to go over and gently brush [Y/N]’s hair back, “Everything will be fine, little bird.”

 As much as [Y/N] wanted to believe her mother was right, that things would be fine and everything would go smoothly,she also had to remind herself of her father’s constant attempts to control her life, and everything in her life. That included who she dates and there had been plenty of failed attempts in the past because of this meddling, and [Y/N], for once, just wanted to be free of the constant puppet strings attached to her that her father controlled. 

 “Father’s best behavior is turbulent, Mother, you know this,” [Y/N] pointed out with a sigh, “Rodrick isn’t exactly what Father believes to be best for me, and I’m afraid if Rodrick says one thing he doesn’t like, that's it, we’re through.” 

 “Your father’s opinion does not always matter, remember that his say is not final-”

 “It’s been final before.” [Y/N] interjected, “Remember he wouldn’t let me try out for the cheer team?”

 “He’s just looking out for what's best for you, that’s all.” 

 After that, the kitchen was silent save for the sounds of cooking, because once more [Y/N]’s anxiety took over and Helena simply did not know how to comfort her daughter anymore. It was easiest to just finish dinner and then go get ready for it, adn say nothing else on the matter for fear of making things worse.

 However, just as [Y/N] was finishing up getting ready when she heard the familiar sound of an engine rumbling up the driveway. And gazing out of one of her bedroom windows that overlooked the front of the house, she saw the familiar van park in front of the garage.

 So that is a good thing, Rodrick managed to remember to get there early as she insisted numerous times upon. Not that much earlier than the time she said dinner would start, but it was something, at least. 

 Next came the issue of watching Rodrick getting out of the van. While he did dress the part, the part was also distracting her that she kept her eyes trained on him before he disappeared under the roof that covered the front porch. It was indeed a rare instance for [Y/N] to see her boyfriend dressed up, considering she never exactly went with the Heffley family to church on Sundays. 

 So it was easy to understand as to why she had zoned out, nearly daydreaming and ogling over what she saw from a distance what her boyfriend was wearing. Though before she could fully dive into the daydream, the echoing sound of the ring of the doorbell echoed across the house and it was enough to snap [Y/N] out of her head and she was quick to stand from her vanity, hoping to make it to the front door before her parents or brother could open the door.

 However, her attempts were in vain because of the delay it took her to stand and began the mad dash to the front of the house and the size of the home itself, and by the time she had reached the top of the stairs, she saw her mother already at the front door and as [Y/N] made her descent down the staircase, she heard what was spoken.

 “Ah, so you must Rodrick,” Helena spoke, though [Y/N] could get a hint of confusion from the tone used, which [Y/N] assumed was because her mother had recognized Rodrick from the couple times she had seen him before when she first started to tutor the boy, but that was not brought up when Helen added, “Come in, come in.”

 “Uh, thank you, Mrs. Clemens.” [Y/N] heard Rodrick speak as she continued her descent down the staircase, smiling to herself because at least something else stuck: always use formalities, never call my parents by their actual names. 

 As soon as she reached the bottom of the stairs, she was met with a beat of silence and then Rodrick saying without much hesitation, “You look beautiful,” 

 A dust of pink appeared on her cheeks and she briefly looked towards her mother away from Rodrick, who looked between the teenagers before taking the steps towards the dining room, allowing the young couple a moment alone before the dinner began.

 “I have to admit, I know you hate getting all dressed up,” [Y/N] spoke as she neared Rodrick, reaching up to gently adjust the tie around his neck, “But I wouldn’t be opposed to you dressing up more often.”

 “There isn’t a chance of that happening, babe, you know that.” Rodrick pointed out, though a teasing smile graced his face, which [Y/N] mirrored.

 “A girl can dream, can’t she?” 

 Just as Rodrick was about to lean down to give [Y/N] a quick peck on the lips, he froze in his movements as he both heard a voice from down the hall echo around them and the fact he felt [Y/N] slightly tense up.

 “Ah, [Y/N], dinner is about to start, I expected you to be in the dining room already.”

 [Y/N] took a deep breath as she began to speak as she stepped to stand beside Rodrick instead, “Father, we were just heading there n-”

 “This must be the secret boyfriend, then, Rodrick, wasn’t it?” Charlie interrupted, which was something [Y/N] was used to by then, and held a hand out to Rodrick (another thing [Y/N] could see right through--the charm of a businessman), “Charles.”

 “Yeah, that’s me,” Rodrick said as he briefly glanced at his girlfriend to see what to do, before [Y/N] replied with a glance down to her father’s extended hand, which Rodrick took with a little too much fervor, “Nice to meet you, Mr. Clemens.”

 The energy behind Rodrick’s hand shake with her father was something that would not be much of an issue, but [Y/N] never had a how to shake a hand lesson herself, so it was overlooked when she was teaching her boyfriend what he would need to know. She was a girl, and the only thing she ever got on the subject matter was to be light and certain in the handshake, and that was all. So one look at her father’s face said all that she needed to know.

 It was already off to a bad start and they had not even sat down for dinner yet.

 Luckily her mother had called them into the dinning room before much more could already add to the poor outcome [Y/N] could start to sense coming already, no matter the words that echoed to counter the notion, hoping that things would look up from there forward.

 And for the first part of dinner, it was as her mind had hoped it would be, as everything went smoothly. Any questions her parents asked to Rodrick, it took a moment, but he was always to pull something out that also did not make him nor his family look bad. The looks shared between the Clemens siblings were a mix of relief and happiness as the dinner progressed, because the lessons and seemingly did in the end stick with Rodrick more than [Y/N] previously had suspected they did. 

 “So, what is it you want to do with your life after you finish up high school, Rodrick?”

 That was the question she was dreading, and one she was hoping for once her father would overlook and just accept that fact, move on that the future did not matter as much as the happiness of his children. 

 And the question must have also thrown Rodrick off for some reason, as he glanced once more at [Y/N] and in turn [Y/N] glanced at Caleb, a look of panic settling on her face.

 “I think the team has a good chance of winning the game next week.” Caleb brought up, “So Homecoming may be a celebration for that win, too.”

 “The football team has won every year the past several years, Caleb,” Charles pointed out, sighing as he set his fork down on the plate before him, “But that is not what we are talking about now, my boy.” 

 “The marching band is probably the best we’ve had in years, Father,” [Y/N] quickly added, clearly buying Rodrick enough time to try and find an answer to Charles’ question, “It’ll be worth going to the game for more than just the football team this year.”

 “[Y/N], I believed I asked Rodrick a question, so I would appreciate it if you would allow him to answer.” Charles said, his tone rising from calm coolness, to slight agitation as he took a deep breath to calm down once more, “Now, Rodrick, what do you want to do with your future?”

 “To be a musician.” 

 “Oh, a musician,” Helena tried to express some happiness in the discovery, “Are you in the school orchestra with [Y/N]?”

 “N-no, Mrs. Clemens,” Rodrick realized his mistake of bringing up the fact he wanted to be a musician, but at the same time, if he said he didn’t know, he was sure he and [Y/N] would be over then and there, “I’m in a band with some of my friends.”

 “What type of music do you play then?” Charles asked and [Y/N] and Caleb once more exchanged looks before [Y/N] looked to Rodrick once again. A look that said there was no point in lying about it now.

 “Heavy metal.”

 “Oh…” Charles began, glancing between [Y/N] and Rodrick, before his eyes landed once again on Rodrick, “That’s an interesting choice, have you not considered going to college or another career path?”

 “Charles,” Helena interjected, giving her husband a look from across the table, “Now is not the time.”

 “What?” Charles asked, clearly confused as to what his wife could mean, “What’s so wrong about getting to know the boy who my little princess is dating?”

 From there, Helena merely just shook her head and dinner continued in silence, The only sound was the clatter of utensils as they hit the plate. [Y/N] kept her gaze down at the plate in front of her, merely just pushing what food was left around on her plate. Though, at some point, under the table, she reached over to gently grab a hold of Rodrick’s hand. To which, Rodrick merely just briefly looked over to [Y/N] and the only thing he could really do in reaction to it, was to let go of the tension in his shoulders before attempting to finish the meal before him.

 As expected, her mother announced that she would go and get dessert not too long after, but it would be a few minutes to warm it up once again. So as [Y/N] stood to start clearing the table, her father also stood.

 “[Y/N], could I speak to you for a moment?” Was all he said before he started his way towards the office he had at home.

 [Y/N] knew what would come from this conversation, and she had to try to be strong this time. She knew that this conversation would be her dad trying to get [Y/N] to break things off with Rodrick--something she knew was going to happen as soon as her father brought up the question of what Rodrick wanted to do with the future. His dream was not to be anything her father expected the man [Y/N] to be with. And it was time for her to take her own life into her own hands after so long of being looked down upon and controlled by the plan her father had for her.

 “What is it you see in that boy, [Y/N]?” Charles questioned as soon as the door to the office was shut behind [Y/N].

 “I can assure you that Rodrick is someone with more than meets the eye, Father.” [Y/N] answered clearly as she rose to stand up a little straighter.

 “But you are aware that he is not ideal, don’t you?” Her father spoke as he folded his arms behind his back, taking the strides to stand in front of his daughter, “You should be with someone like Edward Vill or Chad Danford. Not someone who you met tutoring, and someone who believes his heavy metal band will take off.” 

 He waited a moment for [Y/N] to speak, but all she did instead was lower her head and folded her hands at her front, so Charles continued, “All you have to do is end things with Rodrick and your future already looks brighter, my princess.”

 “That’s your plan for my life, though,” [Y/N] pointed out, her tone quieter than she wanted it to come out, but she soon found her confidence once more as she added, “For once I want to do things my way, so with all due respect father, I don’t think I will break things off with Rodrick no matter what your standards are for me.”

 “The standards I hold for you are meant to ensure you have a future.” Charles began, using a variation of the same speech [Y/N] heard time and time again, “As you know, your brother will take over the company, so I just want to make sure your foundation is strong in whatever ways I can provide. You’re young, you know little of how the world works.”

 “Have you not realized that in trying to live up to your expectations, I’m putting my own happiness at stake?”

 “The real world knows nothing of individual happiness, [Y/N], success is the only thing that will cultivate any sense of the word.”

 “I’m doing my best as I am right now, and then some, trying to gain the success you wish from me,” [Y/N] finally lifted her gaze up, though the tears starting to well in her eyes as soon as she did, looking at the man she called father, but had not felt like one in years, “But even with all that I have accomplished and juggled since we moved, you still think I’m a failure, and nothing I ever do is right.”

 “There’s always more, you never have to stop working and aiming high.” Charles’s voice began to rise once again, “And being with that boy is going to prevent you from doing such.” 

 [Y/N] shook her head just as the tears started to fall from her eyes, “I’m done trying to be what you think I am, because I’ll never be good enough for you.”

 “Young lady, you listen-” Charles began, but [Y/N] was quick to interrupt for once.

 “No, I’m done listening and following whatever it is you say for me to do, I’m choosing my happiness for once, which means I am not breaking up with Rodrick just because you do not approve of him.”

 And while Charles attempted to persuade [Y/N] otherwise, he did try to get her to understand why he does what he does, but [Y/N] was not having it. And despite his efforts to also get her to stay, [Y/N] was quick to make her leave, knowing if she stayed any longer it would turn out uglier than it had already become. And they did not need that to happen.

 Instead, [Y/N] tried her best to compose herself, keep herself together, as she went back into the dining room to get Rodrick. She did not need her brother or her boyfriend doting on her immediately, and she had to stay strong as she left the family home because she could not afford any more signs of weakness. 

 Though the soft hand on Rodrick’s shoulder and her quiet yet slightly quivering voice as [Y/N] asked, “Can we leave now?” was all Rodrick needed to have to know things did not go well when she talked with her dad, but he didn’t know what was discussed. 

 “See you around, Caleb,” Rodrick said before he stood from the dining table and [Y/N] was quick to grab a hold of his hand to walk out of the house. 

 “Young lady, you stay in this house or you’ll be grounded for the rest of your life!” She heard her father call out as he was approaching the foyer, but Helena was quick to hold him back.

“Charles, let her go,” She tried to reason with her fuming husband, “You two need some space right now,”

 [Y/N] shot a quick apologetic look to her mother as she grabbed her purse hanging by the front door before opening the large wooden door and stepped outside.

 “Thanks for dinner, Mrs. Clemens, it was real good!” Rodrick felt like he needed to say something before he shut the door behind him, and that was what happened to come out. Perhaps it was nerves talking and not filtering his thoughts that were not filled with concern for his girlfriend. And when they cleared the steps of the front porch, the boy was quick to make the steps to walk side by side, gently squeezing [Y/N]’s hand as they got to the van.

 As soon as everything was unlocked, and both were in their respective spots, Rodrick turned the noisy van on, backed up, and began the drive down the long driveway and back onto the street. [Y/N], meanwhile, just leaned her head against the window, staring mindlessly out the side view mirror and watched as the house she had started to call home grew smaller and smaller as they moved away from it, and she could see two figures standing on the porch but soon as they turned the corner onto the street, they were out of sight. 

:~+~:

Rodrick did not know what [Y/N] wanted to do, and she had been silent since asking him to leave her house. So he assumed it best to play it safe and drive around town as she calmed down enough to tell him what she wanted to do, or at least, he felt like she could answer when asked what she wanted to do. He knew by then to not push [Y/N], let her do things at her own time, because of his experience during finals last year and how she got so stressed out she shut down for a few hours. 

 Though after an hour of driving, from the corner of his eye, Rodrick could see that [Y/N] made an effort to lift her head off of the window and that was the sign that she was calming down and he made the choice to ask a question.

 “Wanna hit up the convenience store since we bailed on dessert?”

 There was a moment of silence, then two, then three, before Rodrick heard the defeated voice of his girlfriend come from her mouth, “Yeah, I’d like that.”

 And with that guidance and direction on what to do next, Rodrick complied and drove to the nearest convenience store. 

 The next thirty minutes or so of the evening for the young couple were spent attempting to rid themselves of the pain and sorrow of the evening that had happened earlier. Trying to be young once more without any burdens or cares. And with this attempt to change how the night progressed, came the night chill and while Rodrick was fine, [Y/N] was not. Luckily, or unluckily, Rodrick had left one of his sweatshirts in the back of the van--which was the unlucky part, because it was found in the back of the van and who knows when it was last washed. But it was better than nothing, so [Y/N] accepted it and was grateful it at least smelled of him--the cologne he started to wear more frequently, that is. Once inside the shop, they moved through the snack and candy aisles with careful thought and consideration of what they wanted, with [Y/N] clinging onto Rodrick’s arm, her head resting upon his upper arm as they moved through the aisles and made their decisions of what felt appropriate for the evening--for Rodrick, a bag of chips and for [Y/N] a bag of sour gummy candy, as well as a bag of chocolate to share between them, and went to check out. 

 They chose to just sit and eat in the back of the van, still parked in the parking lot of the convenience store, as it was easier than finding somewhere else to go. They also sat in considerable silence once again, the only sounds this time were the bags crinkling and the sound of the crunch of the chip whenever Rodrick ate one, side by side as close as they could be and eat with ease at the same time. 

 “I’m tired of trying to be good enough,” [Y/N] suddenly spoke, breaking the silence that fell over them once she had decided she had finished with her candy for now. 

 Rodrick, who had been in the middle of eating a chip when [Y/N] decided to speak up, was grateful that he had something in his mouth as it allowed him the time to process what his girlfriend just said and figure out what he was going to say in return. In the meantime, he set aside his bag of chips and shifted enough to reach out and grab a hold of [Y/N]’s hand.

 “I’m tired of tryin’, too,” Was what he apparently settled with, having never exactly been good at the whole comforting thing, “So we can be tired of it together.”

 There was no verbal response from [Y/N], but she responded to this statement by gently rolling her head onto his shoulder, her other hand also came up to start playing with his fingers after setting the bag of candy down. So Rodrick took this that she was listening to what he was saying, but wasn’t sure in what way.

 “Buuuut, one of the smartest girls I know taught me once that having two negatives together ends up canceling out the other, so we can just be tired together, instead.”

 With this addition, a breathy laugh was heard in his ears and a proud little half smile appeared on his face as he heard her voice once again not being plagued by anxiety, but simply by sleepiness.

 “I don’t think you understood that full lesson, sweetheart, remember how you almost flopped that test because you didn’t?”

 With her statement being made, Rodrick’s smile grew into a full one before he tilted his head to place a gentle but loving kiss to the top of her head, before he murmured against her hair, “But I would have totally failed without you, babe.”

 “We can just be tired together, Rodrick,” [Y/N] confirmed after a moment of quiet enjoyment of the moment, “And deal with all the teenage bullshit together.”

“Wow, did you just swear, babe?” Rodrick said in joking disbelief as he leaned away to look at [Y/N] head on.

 “It’s been a long night, sweetheart.”

 “My place?”

 “I don’t think either of our parents would appreciate us sleeping in the back of your van, so yes, your place.”

:~+~:

“Where have you two been?” Was what they were greeted with as soon as they arrived at the Heffley family home, “We’ve been worried sick!”

 “Sorry, mom,” Rodrick began, stepping in front of [Y/N] as he added, “We just went on a drive and stopped to get snacks, that’s all.”

 “Your mother called, [Y/N], and she was worried when I said you weren’t here, but I’ll go call her to come get you, okay?”

 “N-no,” [Y/N] began, the stammer in her voice stopped Susan from going to the phone in the living room, and Frank just looked at her confused, “I, uh, don’t want to go back home tonight, can I please stay?”

 “What happened at the dinner that made you not want to go home?” Frank questioned.

 “Just some family stuff,” [Y/N] covered easily, though she took a step to stand closer to Rodrick as she continued, “...Didn’t leave on the best of terms.” 

 “Oh, then of course you can stay, and we can figure this all out tomorrow, but I am going to call your mom back and let her know you’re safe, okay?” Susan said with a gentle smile and [Y/N] reciprocated the smile with a quiet, thank you, before Mrs. Heffley added, “You can sleep on the couch, after I make the call I’ll go get you a blanket,”

 “Can she actually sleep in my room?” Rodrick brought up, his tone rushed, to which both his parents gave him a stern look but before his mom could even get the answer of no out, he added, “I don’t want her to be alone after what happened, is all.”

 Susan and Frank gave each other a look, before they looked at Rodrick and [Y/N], and they caught the young couple glancing at each other and they saw the softest expression on Rodrick’s face they have ever seen on their son and once more looked back at each other.

 “On an air mattress.” Frank said, pointing a finger at the both of them, to which the pair nodded before Mr. Heffley turned to go get the air mattress from the basement. 

:~+~:

So [Y/N] never ended up sleeping on the air mattress. 

 She started out there, trying to do right by Rodrick’s parents since they allowed her to sleep in their son’s bedroom, which she could not be in past 8:30 on a school night usually. But sleeping in some of Rodrick’s clothes and with him only feet away, she was crawling in right beside him not even five minutes in of trying to fall asleep.

 When she awoke the next morning, [Y/N] felt a weight on her chest, and not the emotional kind. No, it was almost the entire dead weight of her sound asleep boyfriend sleeping over top of her, his head resting on her shoulder, his wild bed hair tickling her neck. She did not move him off or attempt anything, instead choosing to bask in this moment they rarely got to have and enjoy a quiet Rodrick for once, a version of him totally at peace. Gently, she started to run her fingers along his back through the t-shirt he was wearing, before the fingers of her other hand started to gently card through his hair, which only settled the sleeping teenager deeper into her.

 When he settled a little deeper into rest, this was when she had a slight struggle with breathing, and [Y/N] knew that she had to do what was usually impossible: waking Rodrick up.

 But luckily for her, she knew a solid weak point that often got him up if he ended up falling asleep before one of their tutoring sessions: tickling his sides.

 The action did not shoot him straight awake, but it was enough to shock his brain into making him open his eyes, and groggily lift his head up. 

 At first, it was clear he was about to settle back into the sleep he just awoke from, but before his eyes fully shut, they opened once more as he processed he was not laying on his mattress, but instead his girlfriend and the sleepy grin that appeared as he lifted his head once more and gazed down at her with half-lidded eyes was a sight [Y/N] would never get used to no matter how much she saw it. 

 “Good mornin’ babe…” Rodrick mumbled as he began to lean down to give her a good morning kiss too, before he was promptly pushed away with a gentle hand.

 “Your morning breath is atrocious, sweetheart,” [Y/N] pointed out with a quiet laugh, “It could kill.”

 “C’mon, you know I would never kill you, babe.” Rodrick pouted, “Now c’mon and give me a good morning kiss.”

 Rodrick instead kissed all over her face as [Y/N] kept moving her head to avoid Rodrick meeting her lips, but their playfulness was cut short as they heard Susan’s voice from down the staircase calling up to them: 

 “Rodrick! [Y/N]! It’s time for breakfast!” 

 And fearing that Susan would come in to check on things, the pair moved--Rodrick faster than he ever had in the morning--to get [Y/N] into the air mattress. It was a bit of a scramble and [Y/N] nearly tripped getting off the twin bed, but she had slipped under the throw blanket on the air mattress just as Susan began her descent up the staircase, and the teenagers pretended to be asleep.

 Until they heard the sigh and Susan making her way back down the stairs, their eyes were shut but the moment she heard his mother’s voice away from the attic door, [Y/N] quietly slipped off the air mattress and made her way back to Rodrick’s bed, where she leaned down to give his a soft kiss on the lips.

 “We should probably go down stairs soon, sweetheart.”

 Rodrick opened his eyes at the feeling and smiled up at [Y/N], who smiled down at him in return. 

 “I hate it when you’re right, babe.”

 It was this moment they both realized something very important, very pivotal.

 They both loved the other, and it was a somewhat scary yet exciting thought.

[stylesxreads]

Help Wanted - Chapter 1

Masterlist

Anastasia's POV

It was the end of my nine hour shift and I was ready to go home and relax. Working on a Friday night isn't always ideal for a 21 year old girl.

"Anastasia! You can't leave until the entire counter is cleared and cleaned." My manager yelled from the kitchen. There was a point in time when I loved working at the diner. When Ms. Jo still owned the place.

"Okay, Kyle." I muttered. I hated this place. They paid me crap and treated me like trash. "Just hold on a little longer till you find another job." I whispered to myself. I finished the last of my duties as quickly as possible, shouting a quick goodbye to Kyle and leaving before he could even make me stay to do more.

The walk back to my apartment was quick as I basically sprinted all the way home, ready to shower and climb into my bed.

"Anastasia! You're late, I thought you were supposed to be back at 9:30?" My roommate, Tina pouted at me as I entered our apartment.

"Yeah, me too. Kyle was being a pain." I huffed and fell on the couch, allowing my body to finally relax.

"Ugh, gross. I thought you were quitting?" She squinted at me. I just shrugged, I've been planning on quitting the diner for a few months now, I just can't bring myself to do it.

"It's not like it's that easy. I can't quit till I get another job, and nobody on this earth seems to want to hire me." I sighed and closed my eyes, rubbing my temples softly.

"What! That's not true, come on." She pulled my arm up and made me sit up. "Let's see what we can find online." She opened her laptop up and searched for hiring jobs.

"Tina, I don't want another stupid job with a stupid manager that's gonna control everything." I huffed. "I'm 21! I'm tired of working these retail/restaurant jobs! I want to do something in my field, something I enjoy. It just sucks because I haven't graduated yet." I was behind on my degree, since I have to pay for all my tuition I've only been taking a few classes at a time, so I didn't have to drown myself in debt.

"What about a daycare then?" She suggested. I raised an eyebrow at her, that didn't sound too bad to be honest. "Or even better! Become a nanny!!" She shouted. "My cousin was a nanny for a couple years and she made a lot of money!" She started typing away on her laptop, searching up who knows what.

Before I knew it she was on a website that had a huge list of people looking for babysitters and nannies.

"Okay, where should we start.... Any specific ages?" She questioned. I laughed and grabbed the laptop from her, filling in all the requirements I was comfortable with, (ages/how many kids/ desired pay/ etc.)

"Alright... Hannah Brown.. 3 kids, 4,5,8?" She looked at me, I shook my head. "Bryan Lucas, 2 kids, twins, newborn.." I shook my head quickly, newborns weren't for me.

"Okay.... Oh here! Harry Styles, 2 kids, 1 and 4? It says he's a single dad in desperate need of help." She handed me the laptop and I scanned the screen carefully.

Harry Styles: Looking for a live in nanny. I have 2 beautiful and well behaved kids. I'm a new single dad and need help ASAP. You must have some experience in childcare and must be CPR certified. References Required.

Then there was a form/application to fill out attached to the bottom.

"It's worth a shot." I shrugged. "I've babysat on and off since I was in high school, plus the daycare experience I banked after I graduated high school.. but it's a live in position." My voice trailed off, realizing that I'e never considered being a live in nanny before.

"Anastasia look at his pay status. It has THREE dollar signs! That means he's willing to pay a lot. Who cares if it's live in. APPLY!" She hit the back of my head before heading to the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes and looked back at the screen, studying the words on it one more time.

"Alright Mr.Styles..."

[askandsmile]

Do you think he’s confused? What do you think he wants when he says he’s all in with Betty? Why is he saying this on the road to Veronica? How does he get back to her no that he is chasing someone else?

lol i have so much deja vu from s3 where i had to explain archie's actions everyday lol. let's go.

under the cut.

no, i don't think he's confused. i think he means exactly what he means.

i don't think he's an asshole either. i think he got dumped (after spending years without a real relationship, after telling betty he still had feelings for veronica, after waiting single for veronica to get divorced, after reuniting and deciding, happily, to move in together and expressing wanting a family with her) and i think he got dumped in the worst possible way, because he was kinda blindsided. he asks if the "i see myself in riverdale" thing is gonna be a deal breaker for her and she says no (i have to stretch that she never told him it'd be a dealbreaker), then she grows distant, and then suddenly tells him she wants to break up because she's not feeling like herself with him (even mentions chad).

archie is like "? i didn't know you were feeling like that?" and she says they need to figure themselves out first, so he goes "why don't we keep dating and having fun like we used to?" because he wants to be with her, like he expressed a thousand times throughout the season, and she says they're not in high school anymore.

well? then archie tells betty veronica belongs in nyc and he belongs in riverdale (also can't stretch enough that betty found him and asked "why are you so sad?" and he said "veronica and i broke up") and betty tells veronica that she must be excited to go back to nyc. so, at some point here, veronica said to someone she was going back to nyc. obviously it didn't happen.

so, let's see things like archie. he got dumped. the girl he wanted to be with is leaving to nyc, didn't want to stay with him, and he never was going to hold her back (and he never will! he said that the most important thing for her is that she is happy). on the other hand, betty had made a promise to her mom that she'd stay in riverdale for the time being, and started working permanently there.

should he stay alone and wallow? probably. but archie never did that either. he wants to move on. so he tells betty he thinks they should try again and that he wants it to be a real relationship, not fwb, he's all in. because last time they went there, he wasn't all in. veronica was in the picture (even if she was married, she was in the picture because she expressed that to him).

and THEN, if that wasn't enough lol, veronica not only doesn't go to nyc, but she stays and opens a casino with reggie. what is a guy supposed to think, for real.

so, tl;dr: archie got dumped. archie thinks the girl who dumped him belongs somewhere he can't follow. (archie says, later, he can't leave the town because he's attached to the memory of his dad/he wants to be like his dad and raise a kid there.) said girl stayed in riverdale even when she said she was leaving and opened a casino with her ex-bf. archie starts a new relationship where he is all in, loves being with her, where he thinks things feel right, and now he might become a dad which will make him feel closer to his father (even if almost all of this happened in one episode lol). his actions right now don't have anything to do with veronica, because as far as he's concerned, he thinks this is over "for good".

the catch? it's not over for good, since we recently found out that veronica doesn't feel that way. that in her ideal world, archie was the one. that she settled for a consolation prize (reggie).

and archie isn't chasing anyone. he is in a relationship, and he means it. i genuinely think he's ~all in with betty right now. but will this be forever? these things aren't black and white, and he surely doesn't know how veronica really feels. will she start seeing herself in riverdale, which could invalidate their entire breakup reasoning? will she reconnect with him because of it? will betty and archie stay in this relationship when things around them aren't smooth (lol in ras words, will they be strong enough?)? will the apocalypse come closer and make them think about things that they hadn't thought about before? there's a lot of room to play here.

relationships and feelings aren't black and white. archie can say whatever when he's in this relationship, but veronica hasn't been a factor yet. and who's to say she won't be? and who's to say what's gonna happen if suddenly she is? also, archie thinks they're over, but is he over her? one thing is not the other, and they haven't had the chance to interact for real yet, right? we thought veronica could be over him, and yet look at where we are now.

and that's what i have to say about all of this.

[agentrouka-blog]

House Stark redemption arc.

Re-reading the books for the timeline questions makes me really appreciate how GRRM is working the biggest redemption arc of them all: House Stark. 

Like a sword, it has to be remade. 

Its origins? Shrouded in a murky magical fight that never resolved the issue and necessitated a giant ice Wall and the foundation of a border patrol that forgot its purpose and devolved into a runty penal colony occupied with waging war on the neighbors. 

Its rise to power? Good old-fashioned conquest.

Some past strategies for dealing with the winters? Raiding in the South. 

Shining light of honor? The Rape of the Sisters.

Attitude toward their neighbors? “Even their gods are wrong.” (AGOT, Catelyn XI)

Their Grand Heir in the last generation? Brandon Stark, smirking manwhore (Convince me otherwise.) and so politically astute and responsible that his first response to his sister’s disappearance was to go yell at the mad king and help escalate the situation beyond repair.

Sure, they are beloved by the people. But, you know, there were smallfolk praising Aerys Targaryen in that warehouse concentration camp Arya stayed at. Clearly, that’s not your only measure of decency.

But you see my point. They are legends but they are actually not THAT especially good.

That’s why now - in the advent of “Long Night - The Sequel” - House Stark is undergoing a redemption arc to make them worthy of their own hype. 

Narrative punishment all around: Ned is crap at communication, denies the historical purpose of the Watch and keeps a child hostage to kill in case his dad acts out? Watch your House and its power crumble, your seat - tied to that historical purpose - stolen and burned, your children scattered and abused, your heir betrayed and murdered - after your own betrayal and murder, of course.

Robb manages to rally the North and reforge the Kingdom again - but the cracks of fealty sworm under duress (House Bolton, House Greyjoy) rear their head immediately and Robb wages war on the smallfolk like Tywin - narrative punishment: Red Wedding. 

They will need to reforge the Kingdom organically: like Jon advises Stannis to do, house by house, paying respect, convincing them of the actual need to unite, doing their duty first, not talking about rights. To do that, they need to become worthy.

That’s why everyone has been brought so low: to learn the hard way, to earn their happy ending.  

Jon needed to learn hands-on how to respect diversity: different cultures, sexual autonomy, sexual diversity, respect for women in particular and soft power in general, serving before ruling, weighing priorities, understanding the crucial role of the boring administrative details, making peace after strife. He is struggling the worst when it comes to weighing means against ends, and when it comes to allowing others the responsibility to make their own choices. He needs to overcome Ned’s biggest failing: silence. He needs to explain himself, make himself fully accountable to those around him. Not in sullen, explosive anger, but in a respectful recognition that not all choices must flow from him alone, lest he get tangled up in all the strings like Ned.

Sansa needed to understand that her duty as a highborn Lady is not obedience to her lord but to use the actual power she can access. To recognize and ameliorate injustice, to induce compassion into situations that lack it, to be the ideal she wants to see in the world and force it into existence in herself in spite of how everyone else wants to champion cynicism and opportunism. Obedience to tyrants is complicity, and the more her agency grows, the more pertinent this lesson becomes for herself. Sansa will need to harness power, to be a Lady who does her duty to her people as a leader, not to her Lord as a follower. She will Need to stand up, and speak up, they way she could not at the Trident.

Arya needed to learn that the freedom she wanted is empty without duty. Waving a deadly weapon around and rejecting the duties of a Lady without understanding the fundamental privileges attached to both of those things is idle vanity. Yelling orders is not leadership, attacking others in anger is not justice. She has one of the most painful arcs because to want to wield a sword is one of the most ambitious desires. A sword has no purpose but to hurt and kill. You have to understand justice and duty to earn that privilege justly.

And Bran. He already starts out so well. He climbs all the way high up and looks at Winterfell and all he feels when looking down like its Lord is love for all the people. But to rule in the highest position, he needed to understand that there is no society without cooperation and value for the most helpless. Not from high up but from way down low. He needed to understand that human beings can and must depend on each other’s better angels, on loyalty not from Duty but from respect and friendship. He needs to learn how to reject the vastest of powers, how to let go of his deepest personal dreams if it is necessary for the good of everyone. Only by knowing how to let go of power can he be ready to accept it in the first place.

And Rickon is on Skagos. With Shaggy, who is eating unicorns. I can never stop emphasizing this. For whatever purpose it will end up serving.

They will all end up doing their part in saving the people of Westeros, using their privilege to do their duty. And that will, eventually, be rewarded. 

The books are all about consequences and narrative justice. It is the opposite of grimdark and no one will escape that. House Stark is currently undergoing their redemption arc, which is what will justify their happy or quasi-happy endings. 

Everyone else in the books who is failing to learn the right lessons and actually atone for their wrong-doing will end up facing karmic justice. Everyone.  

[cancerjupiter]

astro notes: neptune edition (pt. 2)

neptune represents issues which are frequently unconscious, so all of this may operate without your awareness. if projected, the negative aspects of neptune become more emphasised. the more you reject it in your own life, the more likely it is that you’ll meet it in exaggerated ways outside yourself.

neptune in the 7th house

this is another loaded placement; you are likely to encounter difficulties in the area of personal relationships. there are many manifestations of this placement: you may look for a savior to ease the feelings of loneliness and isolation rather than taking responsibility by becoming your own person, you might wish to merge with your partner. if you become too dependent on anyone, they’re going to let you down one way or another. the alternative manifestation is you playing savior to your partner. hence, the reputation of this placement as a magnet to victim types (negatively: drug addicts, unstable people w a shady/difficult past, “artists”, wannabe geniuses and prophets, etc) who need a lot of mothering and cleaning up after.

wherever neptune is placed in the chart, a lot is asked of us. you often give a lot in relationships - often sacrificing things for the sake of your partner. some of you exhibit a kind of selfless, saintly love worthy of true respect, but this can easily turn into letting yourself being walked over as if you have no rights in the relationship. there is a fine line between authentic selflessness and tolerance and just being a doormat. your often idealized romantic notion of what a relationship looks like doesn’t consider the hard work that must be put into it. the yearning for perfection in your partner + the relationship actually makes you very difficult people to live with. unconsciously, you can be very critical and judgemental about the other’s flaws or whatever element they have that doesn’t match your notion of Love. soulmates can still argue about the way the other squeezes the toothpaste tube, it doesn’t mean the love isn’t very much real. ultimately, this planet should represent a non-attached love, a love that doesn’t cling or swallow up any of the people involved. somewhere between demanding others adjust to you, or always adjusting yourselves to others, is the kind of envisioned neptunian love.

neptune in the 8th house

if neptune can’t be at home (12th house) then his next favorite house is that of his bestie, pluto (8th). neptune’s major thrust is the loss of boundaries - what better place to lose them than in the house of sex, sharing and intimacy?

sex is often symbolic in this position; rather than just being enjoyed for its sake, it is the means to alleviate psychological pressures and concerns. sex is also a way of merging with others, hence transcending the means of oneself. i’ve noticed physical intimacy is also an escape from loneliness, and the promiscuity associated w this placement comes from this. some may feel that giving themselves sexually is also a way of serving. this placement is also present in people confused about their sexual identities. neptune is so diffuse and adaptable, so fluid and shapeless, that they have difficulty knowing what they really want. conversely, problematic aspects to saturn may suggest a fear of letting go - a tension between holding on and letting go (abstaining from sex altogether). my friend with this placement told me she always fantasizes about people she isn’t with rather than her girlfriend. neptune is never content with what it has. besides, if you know someone too well, their alien magnetism eventually wears out.

there may be complications and strange circumstances in the area of the partner’s money and joint finances. economic losses and gains will have a significant psychological impact, and could ultimately stop you from finding security inwardly rather than on the material world. in any case, you should seek advice for making financial investments. depending on the aspects, non-material forces can operate constructively or destructively within you. positively, you’ll receive guidance and inspiration as if out of nowhere and are well advised to keep up a dream diary, for they may prove significant to whatever you’re going through. you may serve as a source of comfort and inspiration for others who are going through crisis (david bowie, malcolm x, simone de beauvoir, etc); negatively, you may feel possessed - as if you’ve been taken over by something powerful outside yourself. you may receive misleading guidance from other dimension.

since neptune wants to go Home and the 8th house is the house of Death, some people w this placement may entertain self-destructive fantasies when life gets too tough. unless neptune has harsh aspects to saturn, there isn’t a fear of death, since the desire to transcend worlds is so strong.

neptune in the 9th house

both neptune and the 9th house have a tendency to need the “right” answer, there’s a possibility for an enduring search for The Truth (think Mulder from the x-files). both are mutable and connected to faith and beliefs. both are haunted by the need for perfection due to unrealistic expectations. neither is noted for common sense or doing anything half-assed. the thing is, this placement will tend to overemphasise whatever issues are valued to you. naturally, pisces (neptune) is square sagittarius (9th house), indicating some conflict to be resolved. neptune in the 9th is also a mix of fire and water, giving it a great emotional intensity.

there’s two types of you: those who will lean towards the 9th house and say the truth no matter who gets hurt; and those who follow neptune and choose to lie to protect others’ feelings. you’re pulled in both directions and will need to find a middle ground to satisfy your need for truth and others at the same time. if you don’t, explosions of repressed feelings will occur that will seem OOC for the people around you. you also must be wary of your expectations with education; being educated about everything won’t fulfill every need in you.

balance is an important lesson for you. you always want to go overboard w the next big idea; the challenge is to act on them practically and without dangerous disruptions in other areas of your life. examine your personal beliefs, conscious and unconscious. clarify your expectations about truth, philosophy and the meaning of life.

neptune in the 10th house

positively, someone with this placement can be drawn into a deeply spiritual or creative career, or maybe something to do with counseling. you’ll be inclined to dedicate a great deal of time and energy to said career because it provides you with an enormous sense of fulfillment that you don’t find in other areas of life. you might as well revolve your life around your job. that’s fine, as long as you stay aware of your choice and make the effort to cultivate some personal relationships and outside interests. you tend to be happiest when working - with something you love, obviously. you may feel a responsibility to contribute something meaningful to the world, whether in terms of helping others or creatively. that’s great, but you’ll also feel your work is just that, a contribution - a piece in the grand scheme of things.

you’ll be a great deal happier when employed, but you also need to feel you’re improving; you’re ambitious, whether or not you’re aware of it. you always have an eye in the possibility of promotion, for the 10th house is not only about a career but to success defined in worldly terms. this means an unconscious need to gain more and more, in position, status and salary. if this remains unconscious, you might let it take over your life. few people find lifetime satisfaction within a career unless it’s spiritual, educational or creative. 

negatively, this placement finds people who can’t find satisfaction anywhere outside their job. such person lives for her job, and expects it to provide for all needs: physical, mental, emotional and spiritual. they may expect the job itself to be perfect, and be miserable when it’s not. another negative expression is the indecision regarding a career, not being able to truly commit to anything. you want something big and important, something perfect (ps: it doesn’t exist), something better and of more help to humanity than anyone else has come up with. yet you often expect to accomplish this without any training or effort.

this placement might also refer to the father (10th house = saturn): you might think the world of your dad and wish to be like him or, negatively, you may have expected him to be perfect. some of you might have him on a pedestal and not accept the idea of him being less than perfect. or he might’ve been a strange figure; he might’ve been withdrawn, either a victim or simply a loner. he may have died or left your life altogether, leaving you with a fantasy figure, a father who only exists in your mind. you’ll benefit greatly by examining your beliefs about his importance in your life. you might avoid thinking of him altogether and the same is true of your career: you might expect far too much or deny its importance.

neptune in the 11th house

this placement inspires a natural caring for others and immediate feeling of bonding and solidarity with those with whom wer share this planet. many have an utopian visions and will join groups that promote humanitarian or social causes. you feel the need to participate w other in bringing their idea of good into the world. you’ll likely fight for the underdog. if some segment of society is mistreated, you feel it as if it were happening to you. some might be more attracted to artistic or spiritual groups. if neptune has hard aspects, your group might have big ideas but never bring them to fruition.

in less politically minded people, group activities can simply be a way of escaping routine. you could lose yourselves in a social whirl, seeking ever more interesting friends and parties. if neptune is badly aspected, there could be disillusionment or deception through friendships. you easily feel your friendship ideals are being betrayed. some may even manipulate friends by making them feel sorry for you. another manifestation of this placement is that your friends carry the neptunian projection: you might find yourself drawn to artists, healers, romantic daydreamers, or just losers lmao.

neptune in the 12th house

ahh, neptune at home. this can be a double dose of either comfort or dissatisfaction. the hardest part of this placement is the lack of consciousness about itself and how it operates. what works from the unconscious has far more power to affect us than we think. 

it might be difficult for you to think about your own values; they’re so unquestioned as to be beyond challenge. you think they simply are what they are, and resist any categorisation or definition. you can’t separate yourself from them. with neptune here, you’re less connected to the material world than others, more in tune with the spiritual one. you could well have psychic abilities. you never fully embrace “reality” because you’re aware, if only barely, that the universe encompasses so much more than our minds can handle. the danger is that you’ll come to this conclusion before developing any ego strenght. with ego strenght, you honor yourself as well as your vision; without it you’ll tend to be overwhelmed and easily terrified.

with neptune in the 12th, you need to take a long hard look at your tendency to idealise peace, universal love, sacrifice and service, art and music, and the spiritual path. this placement isn’t a problem by itself, unless there’s other contradicting placements or bad aspects. if nothing is repressed or ignored, it’s actually a fantastic gift. the main problem is the aforementioned lack of awaress of what your values mean and how they affect the quality of your life. my friend with this placement feels that death is simply another step of growth for the soul; of course she grieves, but she tends to think everything happens for a reason. i deeply admire her ability to live in touch with both the material and spiritual world.

[superbadassnatural]

A Lot to Make up For

Summary: Dean threw a fit when he saw something he didn’t like. To say you were angry with him was an understatement. The least thing he could do was make-up for his behavior. Pairing: Dean x Reader Word count: 4,647 Warnings: smut, oral sex (fem receiving), p in v, little bit of spanking, jealous!Dean, mentions of fwb relationship, a bit of crack? A/N: this was written for “SPN Bi-Weekly Challenge” hosted by the amazing @supernatural-jackles. There are three prompts in this one and they are all bolded. I’m trying to understand why tumblr flagged this post when I uploaded the gif I made, which is similar to this one, but not flagged it when I used someone else’s. Either way, at least one of them worked. Please, enjoy it!

(x)

When you decided to come to the bar, you didn’t expect it to be this crowded. Loud conversations competed with the sound of the electronic music. Somehow you managed to find an empty barstool and ran for it. You ordered a beer, sipping at it, unsure of what you were really doing here.

You needed a night out. It had been a while since you last went out by yourself. You usually hung out with the boys, but this time you didn’t want to. It’s not like you didn’t want to be around them, you just wanted to enjoy some quality time alone.

A man sat beside you. He seemed to be around your age and he was definitely a sight for sore eyes. The man turned to you, introduced himself, and started a small talk that turned into an interesting — and mostly funny — conversation.

Andrew was good to be around. He was a stranger, but he somehow knew how to make you laugh. He even bought you a couple of beers and fries.

Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but it wouldn’t be a bad idea to get out of the bar and have your way with him between the sheets. Or maybe it was the way he was flirting with you that was making those thoughts run through your mind. You didn’t even notice he was that close to you. Your knees brushed each other under the wooden counter. His knuckles ran down your forearm. Every now and then his brown eyes would descend to your lips as you spoke. He wanted it as much as you did.

“You know, I was thinking...” he scooted closer, eyes leaving yours to dart to your painted lips. “Maybe we should-“

“Oh, there you are,” a familiar voice interrupted him.

Dean. He stepped towards you, a smile playing on his lips. Both you and Andrew frowned.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you, sweetheart,” his hand made its way to your waist as he planted a kiss to the side of your head.

“Dean, what’re you doing here?” You asked, trying to pull away from his hold.

“I was worried sick, baby,” he said. “Don’t ever do that again.”

“I’m sorry,” Andrew stepped in just as confused as you. “Who are you?”

“I’m Dean, her boyfriend,” he beamed, holding out his hand, but Andrew didn’t take it. “Listen, thanks, man, for taking care of her. I’m glad you were keeping her company. Who knows what would happen if you weren’t here. Maybe some bastard would’ve tried to take advantage of her.”

“Her boyfriend?” The man was trying to wrap his mind around what Dean was saying.

“No!” You jumped it.

“Yeah,” he said at the same time as you did. “I don’t know why she’s saying I’m not.”

“Sorry, man,” he looked at you as if you were some lying bitch. “She told me she was single.”

“I am single! He’s my friend.”

“Well, I don’t know if she’s told you, but she suffers from short-term memory loss,” Dean pursed his lips.

What the hell is he talking about, you thought to yourself.

“You know, like Dory from Finding Nemo,” he added. “She probably forgot we were dating. She’s probably going to forget about you too so I suggest you go away. If she forgets you and sees you, she won’t understand a thing. It’ll only make her poor mind even more confused.”

“It must be hard to deal with that,” Andrew sighed, buying Dean’s crap. “Well, I’ll leave you guys be. Sorry about that, man.”

Andrew headed out of the bar. You were too dumbfounded by the whole situation to go after him and explain that your best friend was delusional. He probably wouldn’t believe it anyway. Dean burst into laughter.

“Are you out of your mind?” You nearly roared at him, slapping his hands off of you.

“Oh, you gotta admit that was funny,” he gushed between laughter.

“No, Dean, it wasn’t,” you glared at him. “It was ridiculous and extremely disrespectful. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going home.”

You stormed out of the bar with Dean hot on your tail. Your blood was boiling. What was wrong with him? Why couldn’t he just let you get some tonight? You stopped in front of your car and turned to him.

“Get lost, Winchester. I don’t want you near me tonight.”

“C’mon, sweetheart. I’m your best friend. I’m your favorite person in this whole world,” he bargained.

“Best friend?” You chuckled humorlessly. “Since when best friends do stuff like that? Seriously, Dean, that was low even for you. I don’t wanna see you tonight or tomorrow or for the rest of the week! Not even if you’re covered in gold.”

“Not even if I’m naked and covered in gold with your favorite chocolate?”

“No. Actually, the thought of you naked just made me throw up in my mouth a little.”

“Well, that wasn’t what you said a few days ago,” he had the cockiest grin playing on his lips. Maybe he thought he could charm his way and you would forgive him.

“Fuck you,” you sneered. “If you do so much as follow me, I’m gonna murder you!”

Hopping in your car, you turned the engine and headed home. Your hands gripped tight the steering wheel, knuckles turning white. You couldn’t for the life of you understand what had gotten into him. He’d never acted like that. He didn’t have the right to.

In about ten minutes you arrived at the condominium you live in. Parking in your spot, you let out a frustrated sigh before climbing off the car. You were glad he didn’t follow you. At least he had a little respect for you.

As you stepped foot into your apartment you rushed to the bathroom. A shower would do wonders for your tense muscles. Maybe it would even wash your anger away. You turned on the water and checked the temperature before hopping in. You relaxed immediately as the warm water hit your skin.

Although you felt more relaxed after showering, your mind was still on a thousand miles per hour. Dean had never behaved the way he did tonight. Throughout your eleven years of friendship, he had never disrespected you or crossed any boundaries. But tonight he did. Maybe he was angry because you decided to hit a bar and didn’t invite him. It doesn’t justify his behavior.

You’d be lying if you said you were just friends. Over a year ago, after many drinks you and Dean had sex. It was nice, but you barely remembered anything the following morning. So you did it sober. It might have been a dumb idea, but boy it felt good. Dean suggested you should keep doing that and you agreed. No strings attached. No exclusivity. Just two friends blowing off some steam every now and then.

What you have with Dean doesn’t give him the right to act the way he did. He’s not your boyfriend. Both of you agreed that it was okay to see other people and even have sex with them — always with protection. Aside from Dean, you only had sex with one person since you started to fool around. Now, when you finally got the chance to hang out with some guy, he decided to show up and throw a fit? Who does he think he is?

“Ah, screw him,” you mumbled.

Shifting into your ideal sleeping position, your body relaxed on the mattress. Thank God for memory foam. It didn’t take long for tiredness to take over and for you to drift off to sleep.

The unceasing sound of the doorbell ringing startled you. You stood to your feet abruptly, but soon regretted when you felt dizzy. Putting on your robe, you headed to the front door not even bothering to look through the peephole. It seemed to be some kind of emergency. No one would be ringing the doorbell this late if it wasn’t urgent. Unlocking the door, you opened it.

“Hey. How can I-“ you stopped once you met his green eyes. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“Y/N, I’m sorry-“

“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” you hissed, trying to push the door close but his feet stopped you.

“I need to talk to you.”

“I don’t care. It’s fucking three in the morning. I have to get up early to go to work,” your hand gripped tight to the knob, ready to close the door in his face if he tried to come in. “I’m sorry, but not everyone works for their dad and can show up late everyday.”

“We both know tomorrow is your day off,” he said. “Please let me in. I need to talk to you. Then you can kick me out and go back to your beauty sleep.”

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes, stepping aside for him to come in. “But only because I’m mad at you and I’m in the mood for a fight.”

“Can we fight so we can have angry make-up sex later?” A smirk appeared on his plump lips.

“Sex with you?” You snickered. “Never again.”

“C’mon, sweetheart,” he pleaded. “It’s been two weeks since we had some fun.”

“Did you come here so you could get laid? Did ou wake me up just so you could have sex with me? Really, Dean?”

“No, of course not. If I wanted to have sex with you, I would have texted you first,” he said. “I came here to apologize.”

“Oh, so you know you screwed up. Good.”

“Would you let me finish?” You rolled your eyes crossing your arms over your chest. “I came here to surprise you. I thought we could have a sleepover since you don’t have to go to work tomorrow. I even brought my Die Hard collection so we could watch it tonight. I bought two slices of pie on the way. Cherry for me and apple for you. Imagine my surprise when I open the door and there’s not a single light on.”

“So what? Are you telling me that it’s my fault now? I should have stayed home waiting for you?” You pointed your finger at him. “Is that the reason why you did what you did at the bar?”

“I looked for you everywhere. Then Jess told me you went out for a drink at Hardy’s. So I went after you. When I saw that guy with his hands all over you, I flipped. I knew I couldn’t punch him and start a fight so I did that.”

“You know you’re not my boyfriend, right? Or my father for that matter?” You stepped closer to him. “So why did you have to ruin things for me tonight? I’ve never done anything like that to you. Never! Why did you have to be such an idiot?”

“I was jealous, okay?” He growled.

“It still doesn’t give you the right to do that, Dean,” you yelled at him. “You know, Dean, every time you, Sam, and I go to a bar, you leave us on the table to hit on the bartender. I wouldn’t have a problem with that if your brother was single. Don’t get me wrong, I love Jess, but if Sam was single then he’d hit on someone and I’d be free to do that too. Or even better, I could make out with him!” You exclaimed, knowing it would piss him off. “Oh, Jess told me some things that you probably don’t wanna know, but they were really interesting. In case you don’t know, girls talk about sex too. From what she’s told me, I bet he’s better than you. I mean, he’s definitely bigger so-“

“Shut up!” He yelled. You could see his jaw tightening as the veins in his neck throbbed.

“You know what’s even worse? When Jess comes with us, I’m third-wheeling most of the time. For some reason, they won’t let me get two feet away from them.”

“I hit on the bartenders to make you jealous. It’s all fake,” he nearly barked. “I thought that maybe if I did that I’d get a reaction from you because I’m too much of a coward to do the right thing.”

“You do remember our agreement, right? Just sex. No feelings. We are non-exclusive. We can see other people and even have sex. We made a bunch of rules back in that day. One of them was no cockblocking,” your blood was boiling in your veins. You could feel your anger grow with every word you said.

“I’m sorry, okay? But I couldn’t just stand there and watch that son of a bitch getting all handsy.”

“While you were having fun with bartenders and girls you met every time we went out, I was alone. Since we started this, I’ve only had sex with one person and it was-“

“Terrible. I know you said the guy was awful.”

“It’s not that I think I should be having sex with half of the men in town, but if you can have sex with everyone you want then why can’t I? Every time I try to hang out with someone, I get sabotaged.”

“Ever since we started this, I’ve only had sex with you. I tried to be with someone else but it didn’t work because she wasn’t you.”

“Oh my God, it was you!” Reality downed to you as you ignored him. The sound of your raged heart much louder than his voice. “You sabotaged me every time! The broken lock, flat tires, and all that crap that happened every time I got close to a guy. They were all you.”

“Yeah, it was me,” Dean barked. “You deserve better than those guys.”

“Who gave you the right to do that, you idiot? Why did you have to do that?”

“Because I love you dammit!” His voice was much louder, causing you to flinch.

“Well, maybe that’s the problem!” You yelled back at him.

You spun around completely done with him, your head was pounding in your skull. The last thing you saw before storming out of the apartment was his jaw wiring shut as his eyes filled with rage.

The door slammed with a loud thud, startling Dean. He was pulled out of his angry trance when he noticed he was standing alone in the middle of your apartment. He knew he had screwed up big time. He’d not planned on confessing his feelings to you tonight. Especially not like this.

You stood dumbstruck in the hall just outside your door. Everything happened so fast. One minute you were peacefully asleep, the other you and Dean were almost jumping at each other’s throats. He shouldn’t have said he loves you. And you shouldn’t have stormed out the way you did.

“God, what have I done?” you sighed.

The sound of the door opening and closing echoed through the corridor. You didn’t want to turn around. You couldn’t face him.

“You realize you just stormed out of your apartment, right?” He let out a small chuckle to try to light up the mood.

“You see what you do to me?” You turned around to face him. His green eyes held anything but anger. “You make me so mad that I do stupid things like storming out of my own home when I should’ve kicked you out.”

“Hey, you don’t need me to do stupid things. You can do that on your own,” he held his hands up, a cheeky grin playing on his lips. “Now let’s get inside, shall we?”

You only nodded, following him back inside.

“So what do we do now, huh?” He asked, shutting the door.

“You don’t love me. I mean- you do, but as your best friend.”

“No, Y/N, I love you as more than my best friend.”

“Stop,” you argued. “You can’t, okay? Or you’re gonna ruin everything.”

“Ruin what? We both know this is not a friends with benefits shit. It never was.”

“Dean-“

“This is not one-sided and you know it, Y/N,” he said, voice deeper than usual. “What we did… what we do is not just sex. Or do I have to tell you how many times we actually made love?”

“Why are you doing this?” Your voice wavered.

“Because I love you, Y/N.”

“Then don’t. You’re screwing things up.”

“Why can’t you just admit it? Why is it so hard for you to finally say it?”

“I can’t risk losing you,” you said low enough that he almost didn’t hear you. Almost. “The moment we take that step there’s no going back and I can’t risk losing you. I can’t.”

“You’re not gonna lose me,” he placed his hands on both sides of your hips, his body incredibly close to yours.

“You can’t promise me that.”

“You’re right. I can’t, but I’ll do anything to be with you.”

Fingers curling in the collar of his flannel, you pulled him to you, capturing his lips with yours. Your heart skipped a beat as he returned the kiss. It was slow at first, almost uncertain. The soft press of his lips made you melt into his touch. Your tongue caressed his plump lips in a plea for him to allow you to delve into his mouth. A muffled moan escaped his lips as his hands came up to cup your face, thumb circling your cheek.

You pulled away in need of air. Your eyes were still closed as you rested your forehead against his.

“I don’t know about you but I’m still down for some angry make-up sex,” he said between panted breaths.

“Dean-“

“Stop denying what you want, Y/N.”

Swallowing thick, you opened your eyes only to meet his green orbs hooded with lust. With arms around his neck, you wrapped your legs around his waist, lips colliding with his. Warm hands held you by the back of your thighs as he walked towards your bedroom. He pushed you against the wall, placing you back on the floor. His lips graced the skin of your neck with sweet yet hungry kisses. Your body was pressed flush to him. You could feel his heart beating fast against your chest and his growing bulge against your pelvis. A moan left your lips as one of his hands hiked up your leg and squeezed your thigh over the silky robe. Dean pressed himself to you and you bucked your hips, the feeling of his erection against your soaked pussy setting your body on fire.

Hurried hands fumbled with the knot tying your robe. He pushed it off your shoulders, revealing your naked before him, the soft material pooling around your feet.

“Fuck,” he said in a low grunt as his eyes wandered over your bare chest.

A smile spread on your lips. Always the same reaction from him. You unbuttoned his flannel, dropping it to the floor. As Dean yanked his white shirt over his head, your hands reached for his naked torso, traveling down to his abdomen and stopping over his belt, quickly unbuckling it. He pulled down his pants, standing in front of you only in his boxers. You pushed him towards the bed, straddling his hips as he sat. Hungry lips captured his plump, pink ones, his hands snaked to your back. The soft touch of his fingertips sending shivers down your spine.

“Need you,” a breathy moan escaped your lips.

Dean’s back met the softness of the mattress, green eyes sparkling at the sight of you on top of him. You leaned and his hands reached for your breasts. Fingers nipped at your hardened bud as his mouth enveloped the other. His name escaped your lips in a tiny whimper as you rolled your hips against him. He released your nipple with a pop and planted kisses everywhere he could touch.

You pushed down his boxers, revealing his hard cock in all its glory. Your small hand wrapped around his length, stroking it before circling the head with your thumb.

“Fuck, sweetheart,” he hissed. “Want you. I need to taste you. Come up here.”

You crawled up, knees around his broad shoulders. As your hands met the headboard, he lowered your body to his face. Dean wanted to take his time. He peppered open-mouthed kisses on the inside of your thighs. He ran his nose over your folds and you let out a frustrated moan.

“Stop teasing.”

“Tell me what you need, sweetheart,” although you didn’t see it, you felt his lips curl into a smirk.

“I need to cum.”

Three teasing licks from your slit to clit caused your breath to hitch on your throat. He wanted to drive you insane and he definitely knew how to do it. Dean licked and sucked your most sensitive parts. Parts he knew by heart. His tongue entered your channel and you saw stars. Fingers finding their course to his hair, gripping it to the point of pain. A guttural grunt from him made your whole body shudder. You tried to buck your hips against his sinful mouth, but his strong grip on your hips restrained your movements. He kept pushing his tongue as far as he could, tasting your sweetness as he feasted. Muffled moans and husky hums escaped his lips, reverberating through your soaked folds. He enjoyed this as much as you did.

“Hmm, yes,” you moaned.

When you felt his grasp on you loosen, you rolled your hips. All your self-consciousness fading as the need to come grew stronger. Your hands dropped to the mattress, ass angling up. His tongue started to circulate your clit, sending small shivers through your body. You glanced over your shoulder, eyes landing on his hand stroking his cock slowly. Your cunt clenched around nothing. His teeth grazed over your bundle of nerves, nipping slightly. The burning coil in your abdomen tightened. Dean sealed his lips around your clit and you went off as a rocket. Your legs trembled around his head as he kept sucking. Waves of pleasure washed over you.

“Fuck, Dean,” you yelled out his name along with a bunch of obscenities.

Dean moaned as he lapped at your juices. He licked you clean until you rode out your orgasm. He kissed your sensitive clit before helping you scooting down so you could meet his face.

“Hi,” you smiled as you laid on top of him.

“Hey,” his plump lips were shining with your release, his cheeks a bright pink.

You leaned to capture his lips. A moan was muffled by his mouth as you tasted yourself in his tongue. The kiss didn’t last though. Both of you were in some serious need of air to make it last.

“I bet the neighbors know my name,” he beamed with the cockiest smirk.

“Oh, shut up,” with a roll of eyes, you started to plant open-mouthed kisses down his throat.

“You know they do. Especially after tonight. The way you-“ he stopped as you sucked at a sensitive spot on the side of his neck. “Shit, Y/N. Need to be inside you.”

He flipped you onto your back, laying on top of you. His lips attacked yours in a hungry, bruising kiss. Your hand reached for his cock, positioning it at your entrance.

“No, not like this. I have other things in mind,” he said with a crooked grin. “On all fours, sweetheart.”

Dean pulled away and you did as told. Your ass perked up and his warm hands gripped your hips. He squeezed your skin and you groaned in anticipation. The tip of his cock circled your entrance.

“Please,” a sweet little cry escaped your lips.

You whimpered as he pushed inside you ever so slow. His massive size stretching your walls to fit him. Dean groaned. He slid out almost completely before thrusting into you with such force that you gasped.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he grunted. “You feel so good. So tight.”

His blunt fingernails digging into the flesh of your hips as he pounded into you relentlessly. Sweat broke through your body as your breath started to come in short spurts. His hand collided with your right cheek, causing your body to jerk. Then he did the same to the other one and you hissed. Dean leaned against you, kissing your shoulder blade.

“You like this, don’t you?” His voice barely upon a whisper, hot breath fanning at your clammy skin. “You like it when I take you just… like… this?” His thrusts matched his words, sending you over the edge once again.

“Yes!”

His hand smacked harder at your right cheek as he pulled away. That definitely was going to leave a mark. Your skin tingling at the stingy sensation. He slammed in and out of you like a madman. The sound of skin slapping against skin echoed through the room along with shameless cries and husky grunts. The heat in your core started to grow even more. You fell forward into the mattress, fingers curling the sheets. Your walls pulsated around him as your orgasm hit you abruptly. Dean sent another five deep-seated thrusts and had you screaming into the pillow in pure ecstasy.

You were so lost in the feeling that you didn’t notice Dean flipping you into your back. He leaned down nuzzling into your neck, before sliding back into you. He kept driving in and out of you, his breath erratic. Your hands slapped against his back, nails digging into his skin, heels digging into his ass. You needed as much of him as you could get.

“Come with me, sweetheart,” he nearly pleaded as he pulled away from your neck.

His hips pistoned against yours, sloppy thrusts aiming for the final push. The thumps of the headboard  banging against the wall mixed with the sound of his balls slapping against your ass. Dean delivered three deep thrusts before his body stiffened. He held himself there as he painted your walls white with his seed. Your orgasm rippled through you. You clenched around him so tight, milking his cock for all its worth. His green orbs locked in your lust blown eyes as his lips parted in a perfect “o” shape, mirroring your expression, though no sound came from any of you. Tears pricked in the corner of your eyes as pleasure washed through you.

Dean collapsed on top of you, his head nuzzling in the curve of your neck. He placed a kiss to your skin before rolling to his side. Both of you waited for your breaths to even. Only then, when the room had grown quiet, you noticed the orange glow in the room caused by the strays of sunshine that managed to get past the blinds.

“Hot damn,” he let out a content sigh.

“What we did tonight… it should be illegal,” you half-chuckled.

“I know, sweetheart. I know,” he had a stupid grin on his face the whole time.

“Don’t sweetheart me,” you pouted. “I’m still mad at you.”

“Really? C’mon! I thought I had made myself up to you by making you come three times. Wasn’t that enough?”

“Of course not! You cockblocked me. Who knows how many times I would’ve cum if I was with that guy,” you shrugged.

“None. Plus, he doesn’t love you so it wouldn’t be nearly as exciting as this was.”

“You still need to make yourself up to me. ’Sides, you didn’t even tie the record, Dean. I’ve made myself come more times using just my fingers and a couple of toys.”

“Is that a challenge, sweetheart?”

“Only if you wanted it to be,” you smirked.

Dean rolled over you, his hand making its way to cup your mound. “I bet you still have my cum dripping from this tight pussy.”

“Why don’t you find out for yourself?”

I’d love to know what you think of this one! Please, consider sharing your thoughts with me via reply, reblog or ask!

Dean Sweethearts:

@maya-craziness @akshi8278 @spookytaylors​ @thisismysecrethappyplace @witch-of-letters

[for-fucks-sake-h]

As You Held Onto Me - Five

a/n: Hiiiii! Welcome to the final chapter of ayhom! I’m SO excited to finally be sharing this with you. It’s been a long time coming. Huge, huge, HUGE, thank you for my loves for supporting me through this story @idk-who-she-is​ @andwhenshesays​ @oh-honey-styles​ I couldn’t have done it without you. And to anyone that celebrated today - Happy Mother’s Day 🌸you’re amazing and deserve the world! Alright babes, I hope you all enjoy this! xx   

CATCH UP ON PREVIOUS PARTS HERE

Rated: M, mature // Word Count: 4.9k 

Sometimes, love can feel like it’s everything. And sometimes, we hope it can be.

*** 

- Friday, September 27, 2030 -

You turned the shower’s water off, messily shaking your hand through your sopping hair as you slid the glass door open with your other hand and grabbed your hair wrap off the hook.  You were quick to flip your head upside down, twisting the cotton towel around your hair and securing it at the nape of your neck.  Your heart was fluttering the tiniest bit as you grabbed the plush bath towel to dry yourself off.  Lotion was hastily applied as you stood at your bathroom counter, and some oil was frivolously smoothed through your hair, your towels discarded in a ball next to your feet, deciding you could take care of them later.  

You were eager to join the party down the hall.  

With a pep in your step, you flicked your ensuite light off and made quick work of throwing on the first pair of shorts from your pj drawer, your sopping hair clinging to the material of an old, worn out Kiss shirt of Harry’s that you had conveniently confiscated years ago. And with some fuzzy socks quickly pulled on, you headed to the room at the end of the hallway, laughter becoming more prominent the closer you got.  

You already felt like your heart was in your throat as you paused at the door, slowly creeping it open as discreetly as you could.  The vision in front of you never got old.

Their laughter was infectious, practically identical in the way their noses creased and dimples etched into their cheeks. They sat on the bed, side by side as they both leaned back against the headboard, ankles crossed in the same way, most likely laughing at one of Harry’s horrible jokes.  They weren’t horrible to her though. No - to her, they held the moon in the sky.  

“Finally,” Harry chuckled when he noticed you.  

You shot him a look, one that he’d been on the receiving end of plenty of times throughout the years, and one that had a slight curl of your lips that you desperately tried to keep at bay as you walked over to them.  

“Hi, mommy!”  

You leaned down to kiss her head before sitting on the bed beside her, intertwining your arms as she rested her head on your shoulder.  

“Hi, love. Did you have a good day?”

“Yeah! How was yours? We missed you!”    

This was what you lived for - getting home after a long day to spend the evening with your two favorite people.  

“Good, happy to be home.”  You kissed her head once more, your eyes flicking up to meet Harry’s, a warm smile spread across his face.  “What have you two been up to?”  

“We got some stuff for tonight, didn’t we baby?” Harry nodded at your daughter, encouraging her to share.  

“We got face masks,” she beamed at you as you dropped your mouth open in excitement. “And daddy picked out a yellow nail polish.”  

“Did he now?” You smiled, warmth encasing your heart at how happy she looked.

“Yeah! We were just waiting for you,” she nodded, her eyes fluttering fondly as Harry kissed the back of her head.  

“Go grab them, love.” He nodded with a smirk pulling at his lips.

She was quick to crawl down to the bottom of the bed, practically skipping out of her room.

“Where’s she going?” You laughed.  

“They’re refrigerated face masks, love. All the rage.”  

“Ah, I see.”  You smiled, taking in his ruffled hair and soft hoodie, the thin layer of facial hair that scattered across his jaw and upper lip.  

He leaned down onto one elbow, inching himself closer to you. “We missed you.”

You breathed out through your nose as you ran the backs of your knuckles across his jaw, leaning down until you could rest your forehead on his. “Missed you too. I’m just glad she still wants to do this,” you admitted softly.

“Me too, baby.”  

He extended his neck enough to softly slant his mouth over yours.  He was warm and tasted like the honey you knew he put in the tea they had while you were still at work.  With one last kiss to the corner of your mouth, he pulled away, chucking two fingers under your chin.

He was gone way too soon, leaving you blinking at him as your daughter entered the room. Harry must have heard her coming and didn’t want to get caught.  He was the one that got yelled at for “always being all over mommy” after all.  The thought made you smile fondly as you watched your daughter set up the nail polish, some nail art stickers, the face masks and even a small bowl of M&M’s for you to snack on.  

“Can’t believe my baby’s gonna be ten years old tomorrow,” you shook your head in disbelief.  

She crossed her feet under her legs before smiling up at you, “Don’t cry, mommy.”  

“I’m not gonna cry,” you scoffed.  

They laughed in unison, the same boisterous laugh escaping their mouths at the same time. And you couldn’t help but laugh too as you blinked the tears from your eyes, enamored with the life you and Harry had created.  

Every year, you had spent the night before her birthday as just the three of you, even when she was too young to remember.  It was your tradition, one of many that your little family had created over the years.  As she got older, she started requesting new things; coloring night,  movie night, game night - and tonight, spa night.  It was special to you, and you knew it was special to her and Harry too.  

“What should we talk about?” Harry asked as he extended his left hand onto his daughter's knee as she opened the nail polish jar.  

“When you asked mommy to marry you,” she smiled brightly.  

Harry laughed, watching as she carefully painted the yellow polish on his first finger. “How many times can you hear that story!”

She giggled softly before her eyebrows crinkled in concentration, her tongue poking out of the corner of her mouth, the same way Harry’s did.  “Hmm, okay when you first met? Or when you told grandmom and grandpop you wanted to live together!” She rattled off stories you’d told her numerous times, her eyes trained on neatly painting her dad's nails.  

“How about a new one?” You suggested.  

You looked over at Harry, a smile pulling at his lips as he chimed in, “Yeah, was thinking when you were born?”

***

- Tuesday, September 28, 2020 -

It was like you could see the bright overhead lights before you even opened your eyes.  You blinked slowly, adjusting to the harshness and groggily taking in your surroundings.  A warm bed, soft socks, a faint beeping sound - it all started filtering into your senses as you came to.  It was almost blissful, being unaware and waking up to a fresh day.  

Except reality started to quickly set in and your heart rate began piterpattering as your eyes focused in on the band that wrapped around your waist and the dopplers that were attached to the sides of your belly.  You suddenly felt way too warm.  The blanket laying across your legs felt suffocating, the hospital gown itchy against your skin.

But the machine to your right - the one with the beeping, tracking your daughters heart rate - that settled you.    

“Hey, welcome back,” Jess smiled as she checked the machines you were hooked up to.  “Gave us a nice scare.”  

“What happened?” you spoke roughly, your voice cracking around your dry throat.  

“You passed out. You were dehydrated, babe.”  

“Fuck,” you breathed.

“And your blood pressure is through the roof…”  

“Fuck,” you breathed out again. “Preeclampsia?”  

She hummed in response as she sat on the edge of your bed.  “You’re okay, Dr. Wood is here. She already has you on the magnesium and everything looks okay so far.”  

“How long do we have until she has to come out?”  

Preeclampsia; a pregnancy complication characterized by high blood pressure that, if not treated, can lead to organ damage.  And the only treatment is to not be pregnant. So you knew your baby was coming out sooner rather than later. Magnesium; a drug used to prevent seizures in women with preeclampsia, could only be administered for so long.    

“She’ll be in to talk to you soon, but they want to get you on Pitocin right away, see if it can jump start you into labor. They don’t want to mess around with it babe.”  

You sighed, already anticipating that answer. “Yeah, yeah. I know. Is she okay? Charts look alright?”  

“She’s doing great,” Jess smiled, squeezing your hand reassuringly.  

You released a deep breath, settling back into your pillow more. “Shit... did you call Harry?”  

“He’s on his way,” she nodded.  

You relaxed a bit more just knowing he would be with you soon.  And as if his ears were burning, your hospital room door burst open and your frazzled husband eagerly stormed into the room.  

“Christ baby! You okay?” He rushed as he practically power walked to the side of your bed, sitting down parallel to Jess. “Hey, Jess,” he shot her a quick glance and a smile before bringing his worried eyes back to your face.    

She laughed as she stood, squeezing your hand once more. “I’ll leave you guys to it.”  

“I’m okay,” you chuckled as Jess pulled your door closed, taking in Harry’s messy hair and creased brows.  “Was dehydrated. Passed out,” you chuckled. “And... I have preeclampsia.”

His warm hand cupped your cheek, fingers tucking behind your neck as his eyes flitted across your face. “Shit, babe. What does that mean?”  

“They’re gonna induce me.”

He nodded as he processed what you were saying. “When?”

“Now,” you smiled.  “It’s okay,” you breathed when his eyes widened.

His other hand went to your belly, fingers spreading across the roundest part. “Is she okay?”  

“Mhm. She’ll be a couple weeks early, but she’s okay. I’m considered full term.” 

“Shit, so she could come today?”  

You nodded. “That’s what we’re hoping for. It’s not ideal, but we’ll be okay.”  

He quickly leaned forward to awkwardly wrap himself around you in a hug, his face tucked into your neck.  You scratched his back with the hand that wasn’t attached to an IV, breathing in the scent of his hair.  He eased you in a way you couldn’t explain.  He didn’t even have to do anything, he just had to be.  

“Well fuck, we can be excited then? Right?” His voice was muffled as he spoke into your neck, his breath tickling you just so.  

You hummed and nodded against his cheek, suddenly feeling your throat tighten with emotion.  You’d waited so long for this to happen, and now it finally was, in the most overwhelming way possible. But you were excited to meet this tiny human that you already loved more than you ever thought was possible.      

His hand gripped the side of your neck again, his lips finding yours with practiced ease. His taste warmed you from the outside in, completely infiltrating your senses as his soft lips caressed yours.  You could feel him start to smile into the kiss, a small snicker escaping his throat as his fingers flexed into the back of your neck.  

When he pulled back, all you could focus on were his glassy green eyes, knowing your own eyes mirrored his.  

“It’s happening, baby.”  He spoke softly as you traced your thumb across his bottom lip.    

You couldn’t stop the smile from pulling at your lips, your eyes watering even more before you tugged him closer to rest your forehead against his.  

***

Twelve hours.  That’s how long you’d been induced before anything started to happen.  It was a slow process.  And even though you figured it would be, it still left the tiniest bit of anxiety to sit on your chest.  

Your body was not ready to give birth, having two weeks left until your due date, so it fought the Pitocin until it literally couldn’t anymore.  And you fought against the contractions the medicine brought on for as long as you could before raising the white flag and asking for the epidural, which you also knew could possibly slow down the process even more. 

Hours passed as you sat at one centimeter.  Every time your doctor came in to check, you held your breath in the hopes of progressing, just to be let down over and over.  You’d started to discuss the possibility of needing a c-section.  If your body didn’t want to let the baby out on it’s own, she was going to have to be taken by force.  

It was a little past 8pm and you were passing time with Law and Order repeats, the only saving grace available on the hospital television, when Dr. Wood knocked.  

“Okay, YN. It’s that time again,” she spoke softly as she sanitized her hands before pulling the latex gloves on.  

Harry muted the TV from where he sat next to you, a chair pulled over to the bed to sit right next to your head so he could play with your hair.  

Dr. Wood made quick work to check your cervix as you and Harry both waited with bated breath.  And then her eyes lit up.  

“Four centimeters.”  

“Oh thank god,” you breathed as you dramatically tilted your head back before laughing.  

“Yes, this is good. We’re finally getting somewhere.”  She removed her gloves as she walked towards the trash can to throw them away.  “So I’ll come back to check again in about an hour,” she walked back towards your bed, her hands casually tucked in her coat pockets. “I think we’re going to be moving a lot quicker now. Hopefully we’ll have this baby before midnight,” she smiled.  “Hope you like this date.”  

Harry scratched your head lovingly, giving you the most beautiful smile when you glanced at him.

“So relax, have some ice chips,” Dr. Wood joked, “and I’ll see you in a bit.”  

“Thank you!” You called excitedly as you grabbed your cup from the bed tray to tip some of the ice into your mouth.  “I’m so relieved,” you turned your face to Harry as you chomped on the ice noisily, letting your eyes fall closed as he scratched your head again.  

“Me too, baby.” He leaned in to place a soft kiss to your forehead.  “God, she’s gonna be here soon. Can you believe it?”  His voice was soft and full of wonder, it made your heart clench in your chest.  

“No,” you chuckled, “but I’m ready.”  

“Me too,” he kissed your head again before lowering his mouth to yours, his warm lips a soothing contrast to your cold mouth.

You were so ready.  

***

“You’re doing so good baby!”  Harry’s face was right next to yours, his hand gripped to your knee as you fought to keep your eyes on his.  

“Good,” Dr. Wood agreed. “Catch your breath, then you’re gonna push again, YN.”  

Your doctor, nurses and Harry had all been encouraging you like that for at least an hour. You couldn’t really be sure.  It felt like an eternity.  

“This baby’s almost here. A few more good pushes, YN. She’s right there. When you’re ready.”  

You could feel your eyes watering as you looked at Harry, watching him nod along with what Dr. Wood was saying.  “Doing so good. She’s almost here,” he spoke lowly, as if he only wanted you to hear him.

And for a second, it felt like it really was just the two of you.    

It was like your life together - the good and bad - flashed in your mind like a movie.  As if you were watching the ending credits, glimpses of your past selves and everything you had been through that brought you to this moment.      

You took a deep breath, a tear slipping down your cheek as you pushed with every ounce of strength you had. You pushed, and pushed, and pushed - and then it was like your eyes looked down on their own accord to watch your daughter enter the world.  And it was the most breathtaking moment of your life.  The nurses were congratulating you as Dr. Wood held her up for you to get a good look at her, and your husband was praising you with his hand gripped tight to your leg and his lips on your cheek.  

“You did it baby! She’s here,” he cried, kissing your clammy cheek over and over again. “Oh my god, she’s perfect. You’re perfect. I love you. I’m so proud of you.” His voice was rough with emotion but his lips were soft against your skin.  

You cried when she cried, and you watched with blurry vision as Harry cut the umbilical cord, feeling like your heart could burst from your chest.  

Finally feeling complete.

***

- Friday, September 27, 2030 -

“You did all that for me?”    

She looked so shocked by the end of the story that it genuinely made you laugh, Harry laughing right alongside you at her wide eyes and disbelieving tone.    

“Yes! And I would do it again in a heartbeat. You know why?”  You watched her shake her head no, her eyes still wide as saucers.  “Because I would do anything for you. Daddy too. You are the best thing that ever happened to us.”  

She smiled at that, blinking softly at you. She may have had Harry’s dimples, but that was your smile, through and through.  

“Alright, love. It’s late. Don’t want you to be tired for your birthday!” Harry spoke up after a moment before climbing out of bed.  You watched as she got herself tucked under her covers, smiling happily up to you.  He leaned down to kiss her head first, then the tip of her nose as she scrunched it up the same way Harry did.  And then you did the same before pulling the covers over her more.  

“Good night, Rae. Love you.”  

“Love you,” she whispered as you turned her light out and quietly left her room.

Harry’s hands were on your shoulders as you pulled her bedroom door closed, massaging a seemingly always present knot.  “Can you believe she’s gonna be ten tomorrow?”

“Nope,” you laughed as you turned towards him, wrapping your arm around his waist as he slung his around your shoulder to walk down your dimly lit hallway. “I know I say that every year. But every year it blows my mind.”

“Mine too.”  

He kissed your head as you made your way into your bedroom before separating at the foot of your bed.  You pulled the covers down in silence, tossing the decorative pillows onto the floor before climbing into the crisp sheets.  You watched Harry as he stripped down to his boxers before slipping in beside you, quick to pull you closer and turn you to face away from him, fitting his front perfectly against your back.  

“Do you think she’s asleep already?” he asked, his breath tickling down the back of your neck as he pulled you even closer, his hips casually flexing against you.  

“Oh my god, you’re the worst!” you laughed as you squirmed against him.  

“What?” he exclaimed, the smile evident in his tone. “Just missed you.”  

That had you humming, arching your back against him a silent plea. “Missed you too, H.” You spoke softly as you smiled into your pillow.  

“Is that a yes?” He flexed his hips again with his question. “Think she fell asleep extraordinarily fast? All that pre-birthday excitement knocked her out?”

“Mm, doubtful.” Your voice lowered when you continued. “So I guess you better be quiet.”    

“I can be quiet.”

His words and the deep timbre of his voice sent a chill down your spine in the same way his hand gripping your hip and his mouth finding your neck did. That was all it took for your body to warm, arching against him more to feel the way he was already puffing up in his boxers.  

He sucked soft kisses to your skin as he awkwardly tugged your shorts down as much as he could before you kicked them off the rest of the way.  He was quick to follow suit, pulling his boxers down his thighs so he could feel your soft skin against his own.  Your ass curved perfectly into his groin, his warm cock perfectly tucked against you, his leg hair tickling the backs of your legs, his chest flush to your back as he softly bit your shoulder through your tee shirt.  

His hands roamed your body - squeezing your thigh, your hip, your waist.  His breathing picked up against the skin of your neck as he rolled his hips against you.  You sighed happily at the way he practically massaged all your sore spots, his fingers digging into new spots every so often.  And when he pulled your hair up off your neck to suck at the spot where it met your shoulder, you couldn’t help but let out the smallest moan.  

You could feel him get harder the more he pressed himself against you, until he was straining against your ass cheek, hot velvet grazing your skin.  

“God... I want you,” he whispered. “I always want you.”  

His hand found it’s way up the front of your shirt, his warm palm cupping your breast as he pulled you even closer.  

“Harry,” you breathed as he pinched your nipple just enough for a warm zip of pleasure to caress your core.  He flicked his first finger across your pebbled nipple as he sucked another kiss to your neck.  

“Gonna open up for me?” He pressed his hard length into you more, your legs involuntarily opening for him. “Think I can slip in?”  

“You tell me.”  

He bit into your shoulder again in retaliation, his hand quickly smoothing down the length of your stomach until his middle finger could slip between your folds. 

“Fuck,” he spoke in a hushed whisper. “I’ll never get tired of it.” He slipped his finger lower, finding the pooling arousal waiting for him at your entrance. “Get so fuckin wet for me.”  

He wasted no time pulling your wetness back up to your clit to press slow circles against you.  It was amazing how quickly he could make you feel like you were on fire, even after so many years.  It was something so uniquely yours.  He knew your body like the back of his hand, and he used it to his advantage to turn you on as quickly as possible.    

“I want it, H.”  

“What, baby?”  He flexed his hips into you again, his length teasing between your legs.  

“You. Want you to fill me.”  

“Shit,” he breathed. And then he was pulling his hand from your clit to take hold of his cock to guide himself into you.  

He pushed in slow, a moan catching in your throat as you adjusted.  Your hands fisted your pillow as you took in the heavy pressure of him until he was fully seated inside you, his pelvis pressed tight to your ass.  He waited for you, getting the tiniest bit of smug pleasure out of your need to adjust to his size.  He withdrew and pushed back in just as slowly, rolling his hips at the same torturous pace until you whimpered into the pillow.  

“So good,” he moaned softly as he picked up a steady rhythm, one that had a soft clap of his thighs against yours every time he pushed in.  Your back was arched, the angle hitting perfectly.  He was big, and taking him that way only intensified it.  

His moans were soft, but still present.  And you were happy they were, even though he said he would be quiet, you didn’t really want him to. Every sound he made turned you on more, every hushed curse and choked moan, every breath and pant against your skin, it all made your arousal bubble under your skin like a dormant volcano just waiting to erupt.    

“Harry,” you moaned softly as his hand traveled up the length of your side, until it could smooth across your chest and up to your throat, his long fingers cupping the front.  He didn’t squeeze tightly at first, just enough to feel possessive in the best sort of way. His hips picked up pace a bit, rocking into yours steadily as you clenched around him.  And when his hand did tighten on your throat a bit more, your vision went spotty with pleasure as you coated his dick with your arousal.  

“Fuck… fuck,” he moaned as his hips flexed against your ass to push even deeper until you were gasping around a moan.  

You whined and whimpered as he fucked you before you were panting when he released the grip on your neck to slide his hand down your body once more, fingers immediately finding your clit.  

“Oh my god,” you moaned as he flicked his middle finger across your swollen bud.  You were burning up beneath your skin, red hot currents of arousal shooting from your belly throughout your body.  

“Come on,” he encouraged. His hips were relentless and completely unforgiving. Your orgasm was right there, dangling in front of you, just out of reach. “Be a good girl and come on me.”  

And that was all it took for it to wash over you, soaking his cock more as you moaned his name and clenched down on him over and over.  Your hips spasmed with it, his fingers flicking against your clit as best he could to ride the high out with you.  

Your orgasm pushed him over the edge too, as it usually did, the tight grip on his cock pulling the deepest moan you’d heard from him all night.  His hips stuttered into yours, his mouth pressed to your neck as he panted your name while he came.  

You both went completely lax at the same time, sinking into your mattress together in bliss.  

“I love you,” he breathed, his arms wrapping tightly around your waist.  

“Mm, I love you too.”  

You laid in silence for a few moments, catching your breath together as you settled, only to be pulled across the mattress, until he was standing and bringing you with him.  

“Sorry,” he looked down at your pouting face. “We’ll fall asleep if we don’t get cleaned up right now.”  

He kissed your lips softly as he walked you both to the ensuite, your legs feeling like jello as he carried most of your weight with your arms wrapped tightly around his neck.  And once you were back in bed, he pulled you into the same position you started in, with his warm skin seeping through the back of your shirt.  

Neither of you had to say anything as you settled together.  It was late, and you had a long day ahead of you for the birthday party.  But you were both happy and loved, and your life together was everything you could have hoped for and more.

And that was how you contentedly fell asleep, wrapped in Harry’s warm arms.  

***

- Wednesday, September 29, 2020 -

The soft sound of Harry’s voice slipped into your senses as you slowly started to wake from a much needed nap.  You knew exactly what you were going to see before even opening your eyes, a smile pulling on your lips just at the thought.

As you slowly turned your head in the direction of his voice, cracking one eye open to check, you were met with exactly what you thought.  

Harry tucked away in the chair in the corner of your hospital room next to the window, your daughter swaddled up in a security blanket that you’d picked out for her months prior, slowly rocking back and forth as he sang softly, barely above a whisper.    

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine.

You make me happy when skies are gray.

You'll never know dear, how much I love you.

Please don't take my sunshine away. 

You knew this scene, having caught the same exact visual a few times already.  You watched him sing it over and over, his index finger softly tracing over her cheek, his eyes never leaving her face.  It made your heart ache in a way that you knew you would never get tired off.  

You watched him quietly, only speaking once he was quiet for a while.  “Hi.”  

Wet eyes reached yours, a smile spreading on his face as a rogue tear slipped down his cheek.  He didn’t say anything - just silently lifted from the chair to come sit with you, tucking himself next to you on your bed.

“Mommy’s up, Rae.” He spoke softly as you rested your head on his shoulder, looking down at your beautiful baby.  A perfect mix of you and him.  

You smiled as you turned to place a kiss on his shoulder, the smell of your laundry detergent present on his freshly changed clothes.  You felt a kiss to your head, prompting you to lift your own to meet his soft gaze, his lashes still wet with happy tears.  

He kissed you slowly, pouring his love from his soul to yours.  It was quick and it was sweet, and you found yourself silently sitting next to your husband, watching your dream come true sleep, blissfully aware of the hold she had on both of you already.    

You smiled at her, all of the possibilities of your life to come at the forefront of your mind as you spoke softly.  

“Our little ray of sunshine.”

***  

Thank you so much for reading and coming on this journey! To anyone that has ever struggled with infertility or miscarriage - I’m sorry.  I love you. You are not alone.  

If you enjoyed this, please let me know your thoughts. I would love to hear from you! xx  

Masterlist 

[nagisasstunningpersonality]

About Assassination Classroom Characters - Shiota Nagisa

Finally time for Protagonist Kun, huh? 

Well the most obvious thing is that obviously, he’s the POV character. Say what you want about Matsui’s writing in general, but it was a pretty smart choice, in my opinion. Nagisa is… honestly very easy to project onto, at least as we first meet him. That might not be true for everyone, but for the most part, he’s… plain. Nice. Mild mannered. A little shy and reserved maybe. For some genuine literary context, you have to imagine that for the original intended audience, he’s fulfilling to put it bluntly a Japanese middle schooler stereotype. Take Kirito from SAO as a contrast, who instead fulfils more of a stereotypical ideal. Both clear intended self projections as plain characters, but for different purposes. It also helps that Nagisa is made androgynous (maybe a bit of a stretch, but I want there to be more purpose to that than just comic relief) 

But the the twist is, as we see in the first episode, and then deeper into the series, that he’s clearly a stand out assassin. The depth of it isn’t quite revealed, but it’s obvious that there’s Something about him from the get go, though we don’t see it until the brief POV change we get in Talent Time. 

Sparing an entire essay about Nagisa as a protagonist, though, mostly he’s just really good for setting a scene. He’s the most observant character, which offers a wider perspective than we’d otherwise get, and he’s flat enough that we can easily shift focus between other characters. 

As for actual character traits, though, to put it simply Nagisa is just Nice. Sure, he might be an easy target for Terasaka at first, but I think it would be hard for anyone to genuinely have a problem with him. 

He’s empathetic, which makes him very easy to talk to. This is pushed a bit in the korotan books where he manages to make Gakushuu spill his thoughts, with the help of a little assassination technique. Might also have something to do with his harmless demeanour. 

He really does hide his bloodlust very well. The only people to notice it, when not directly in action or widely exposed to it, were Karma and then later Kayano. Supposedly his victims are always taken by surprise. 

He definitely also has a “never give up” kind of attitude, which can be seen across various moments. 

Now we unfortunately have to address his situation with his mother. Whilst I think some people go a little overboard with it, Hiromi is Awful. His dad, too, for leaving them. But that’s a whole other meta. Personally I don’t think physical harm is that frequent, but she really kinda... gets in his mind. As a result, his assassination skills came out. 

His extreme observation was a survival tactic, we must remember. Something he internalised for a while before really being able to take control and use it against other people.

Something a lot of people don’t talk about is that Nagisa’s... kind of scary, actually. Like this fifteen year old kid went to his teacher and said “I want to kill people for a living”. A part of me, too, really does believe that Nagisa wouldn’t say that without thinking it through to a certain level. Though we can also argue he’s just attaching himself to the one thing he seems to be good at, the first thing he’s ever really been valued for, as a person. Either way, it’s definitely concerning. 

The thing is, Nagisa thinks a lot more than he actually says or does. 

Though he’s a little more naturally passive, he’s definitely not a pushover and can stand up for himself when it really comes down to it. 

Internal and external Nagisa are very very different, in my opinion. 

He’s kind of an idoliser. We saw this first with Karma, and then with Korosensei etc. He wants to be just like other people, as opposed to a better version of himself. 

His closest friends are Kayano and Sugino, though it seems like Sugino drifted a little towards the end. The frequently walk home together. 

Okano and Okajima occasionally join them, apparently. 

I don’t have a lot to really say about those friendships, because there’s not that much to them. They just... get along well. Sugino and Kayano’s happy excitement/loudness is a good balance for Nagisa’s more calm personality, though. 

Of course he’s in a friend group with Kanzaki and Okuda too, though I don’t think he personally speaks to them so often. I would like to see more interaction with Kanzaki, since they both have crazy strict parents with weird expectations set out for them. 

Nakamura mostly... just teases him. It’s like her personal hobby or something. 

Another big thing to address is the crossdressing and gender jokes. HOT TAKE, but I don’t think Nakamura and Karma should be cancelled for it. I think it’s important we consider the context of ass class being of a society where that kind of joke isn’t seen as a big deal (which is still definitely is, don’t get me wrong), and also the fact they are fourteen (aka, unfair to expect complete emotional maturity) for most of the series. When the truth comes to light about Nagisa’s past, aside from the Yuuji thing of that episode, it does seem to be dropped from the narrative somewhat. 

The thing is... Nagisa says he’s okay with teasing when he knows it’s from them. There’s a lot of ways you can take that, but I don’t think he’d straight up lie? I think he just means, a few light jokes here and there are fine so long as he’s confident that they’re jokes. I think Nagisa does have enough sense at this point to choose not to hang out with them if it really upset him that much. 

I think Nakamura is a friend he can have a fun time with, at least. 

Of course, Nagisa really does want to be more stereotypically masculine, and as we can see he never really gets over that. Maybe he eventually accepts this is how it’s going to be, though. 

Karma... exists. Look, it’s complicated. I’m very wrapped up in my opinions so it’s hard to talk about without making it ‘karmagisa’. But what we do know is that obviously, Nagisa really looked up to him and admired him. It seems like they really came as a package deal for quite a while. Karma lowkey abandoning him out of the blue, on top of everything else, really hurt his confidence. And even when they’re together again, and seemingly close, there’s still this distance between them. 

Nagisa’s just not the best at talking through his emotions. Mixed with Karma, that’s not the best combination ever. But I do think they get over it, and are great genuine friends together. The work incredibly well in battle, at least. 

In summary, honestly this was a hard one. I’m trying to keep it more of an overview, but I could write full metas on pretty much every point here (maybe I will some day). Nagisa is just a wonderfully complex character, and there’s a lot of different directions he can be taken in. 

MASTERLIST

[bookspined]

❝ that’s all history is after all: scar tissue. ❞

{ cis-man, he/him }  huh, who’s FROY GUTIERREZ? no, you’re mistaken, that’s actually SCORPIUS MALFOY. he is a TWENTY-TWO year old PUREBLOOD wizard who is A HEALING APPRENTICE. he is known for being CAPTIOUS, RETICENT, FACETIOUS, DISMISSIVE, and DRAMATIC but also RESOURCEFUL, CONSCIENTIOUS, FERVENT, INNOVATIVE, and OBSERVANT, so that must be why he always reminds me of the song IN DREAMS BY BEN HOWARD. i hear he is aligned with THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX, so be sure to keep an eye on him. { merry, 24, gmt, she/they }

CHARACTER PARALLELS: Amy Santiago (B99), Claire Temple (Daredevil), Chidi Anagonye (The Good Place), Giles (Buffy TVS), Michelle Jones (MCU), Simon Tam (Firefly), Elizabeth Swan (PoTC), Spock (Star Trek), Clarke Griffin (The 100), Harley Keener (MCU), Gregory House (House) suggested honorable mention Gizmo (Gremlins) 

pinterest [blood, medical imagery tw]

wanted connection ideas

Full Name: Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy Gender/Pronouns: Cis man | he/him Age: Twenty-three Birthdate: January 20th Parents: Draco Lucius Malfoy & Astoria Céline Malfoy (née Greengrass) [Not biologically Astoria’s due to her health, if you ever point this out he’ll flay your eyeballs] Siblings: N/A. Birth place: St. Mungo’s Hospital, England Height: 5’11” Weight: 56 kg Sexual/Romantic Orientation: Demiromantic Bisexual Nationality: British Body Alterations/Marks: A ragged diamond shape scar at the base of his throat.

Blood Status: Pureblood Hogwarts House: Slytherin Wand Arm: Right Pet: His pet toad, Jarvis, recently passed away. Patronus: Arctic Fox Wand: 11 2/3 inches, Willow, Supple, Dragon Heartstring.

Willow is an uncommon wand wood with healing power, I have noted that the ideal owner for a willow wand often has some (usually unwarranted) insecurity, however well they may try and hide it. While many confident customers insist on trying a willow wand (attracted by their handsome appearance and well-founded reputation for enabling advanced, non-verbal magic) my willow wands have consistently selected those of greatest potential, rather than those who feel they have little to learn. It has always been a proverb in my family that he who has furthest to travel will go fastest with willow.

Personality Traits: Brilliance, innovative, empathetic, individuality, openness, social consciousness, inventive, logical, practical skills and self assertion; lack of attachment to people outside his circle and the “real world,” over-intellectualizing of the emotions, dismissive, anxious, crotchety tempered, facetious, rigid, prone to self-isolation, intellectual arrogance, and stubborn. Zodiac Sign: Aquarius/Capricorn Cusp Moral Alignment: Neutral Good Core values: Loyalty, Knowledge, Hope Four temperaments: Melancholic  

HOGWARTS HOUSE ANALYSIS

Slytherin Primary and a Burned Ravenclaw Secondary.

Slytherin Primaries prioritize their own selves and loved ones first. Slytherins don’t feel guilty or selfish about this– they feel righteous and moral. The most important thing is to look after your own. Abandoning or hurting one of your own is the worst thing you can do.

A Burned Ravenclaw Secondary might want to be skilled, curious, and prepared, but they feel like they are (or like people think they are) limited, clumsy, or inconstant. Gathering knowledge, hobbies, skills, or tools is the right way to achieve their goals, but Burned Ravenclaws know that’s not going to work within their capabilities. So they take other paths and use other tools– maybe a Gryffindor’s bluntness, a Slytherin’s flexibility, or a Hufflepuff’s slow and steady dedication.

You may have a Hufflepuff Secondary Model.

Hufflepuff is the House of grit, reliability, and determination, and Hufflepuffs use those values to help live, act, and succeed. If you model Hufflepuff Secondary, you also value these things and like to live by them. You like to be hardworking, dedicated, and consistent– but you wouldn’t feel guilty for abandoning those values in the service of other, higher priorities. If there’s another, easier way to get what you want– you’d take it. You think hard work provides valuable rewards– and those rewards are why you work. The work doesn’t have persuasive value in itself.

Despite his very best resistance he’s always been pretty empathetic in nature, he tries to rule his emotions as well as he can but fails more often than not. He was always one of those toddlers that if another kid started crying he’d be right along with them, not because he wanted attention but because he just couldn’t not. A bit of a crybaby, has researched how to magically seal up his tear ducts. Obviously managed to keep the family’s flair for the dramatic there as well. After a few years he leant into the sarcastic vague-snobbishness to hide the core of overwhelming anxiety.

Just managed to scrape through his schooling with nearly all top grades, this isn’t really due to him being a model student. He has always accrued information with a voracious appetite. Any knowledge he could find, even if most people would consider it entirely useless. His mind clicks into that place? You can’t keep him away. However, when there is not an immediate stir of interest on his approach to a topic he has to fight with himself tooth and nail to carry on. 

Predictably found exam season highly stressful, was never open about it but was quietly competitive and silently smug over his good grades. Could comprehend well above his reading level from an early age and would often look into experimental research and complicated magic but found himself lost in OWL level History of Magic when chapter upon chapter lay ahead of him about something that didn’t catch his interest. Some people he beat just to spite cause he hates them. It worked, whatever.

Tends toward introversion and finds himself tired sometimes quite easily by a large amount of social interaction. Witty and big-mouthed when he feels comfortable or is in the presence of those that embolden him and very likely to get flustered and snap at people when things are becoming a bit too much. Especially if he feels however unjustly that someone is blocking his escape. Has matured slightly in this since leaving school but it happens still, he’s just anxious. Quite fickle and can at the drop of a hat decide that he’s done with you for the day once his Give Me Attention Meter is maxed. Could be an absolute bloody brat when he felt like it but feels he has grown out of it, which he mostly has.

Always been very, very aware of many people’s distrust of him and his family, he used to sneer and play it up if anyone tried to bring up his dad and go on the offensive but was genuinely affected quite deeply by it all. In his early school years, despite his weakness to the cold, he constantly had his sleeves rolled up to the elbow so that his blank forearm was bared as a statement to just about everyone. I am not marked, I never will be. Now he’s older he has more of a handle on things and can be diplomatic in situations where people are clearly discomforted by his presence and his family history.

Even though the war culminated far earlier in this verse I imagine Scor would have had to have been relatively sheltered as a child if not for how emotionally sensitive and prone to periods of ill-health he was, it was definitely for his own safety. He is still the grandson of a known high-ranking Death Eater and that made him a media target and put one on his back for anyone else that might happen to be watching. 

Never produced much of a talent for offensive magic and wouldn’t resort to those methods unless he had literally no other choice, not a front line fighter by any means. His talents with strategy, potion-making, healing and his perseverance with defensive magic are what define him to the Order. While everyone kind of knows who he hung out with at school and who his friends are he is deliberately very mischievous with releasing rumours and misleading people. He deliberately keeps his cards very close to his chest so most people don’t know that he is aligned with anyone, he usually uses glamours or a scarf to conceal his identity if he has to. 

While he is knowledgeable about healing and anatomy, he is the WORST at taking care of himself. The literal embodiment of Healers make the worst patients, tends to forgo sleep and basic bodily needs if he’s locked into what he’s focusing on. Sometimes needs reminders to sleep and eat, like a child. 

Healing is the most satisfying part of his life and he would never give it up, he likes to experiment as he has a fascination with magic and muggle science and where they might intersect. A fucking nerd honestly. While he thinks he’s being fairly subtle about it a large part of his academic life has been doused in research into blood maledictions, for obvious reasons. He does his best not to flutter too obviously around his Mum. She is capable and ten times stronger than he is. 

Lives in a small studio flat in Diagon Alley that is mostly stacks of books and makeshift shelves.

the stillness of the world the moment you take the first step into fresh snow, cashmere and fine wool, the pearlescence of dreamless sleep draught, the scratch of a quill on parchment, faintly tremoring fingers, a shiver up your spine in a warm room, the exhilaration of a problem solved, a thunderous grey overcast sky, the bite of a stitching charm, sleeves rolled up to the elbows, petrichor, the burn in your eyes before a well of tears.

Always had somewhat fragile health tending toward sickly. Hands are never warm, his existence is an endless heat seeking mission. 

Went to one Slug Club meeting and used his time to verbally berate and or challenge most of the contacts in attendance, he was not asked to return. 

Potions Club, Charms Club, used to sometimes be willing to be dragged to Dueling Club but didn’t enjoy himself. 

Plays quite a bit of chess.

Bruises like a fucking peach and scars so easily.

Views quidditch as a good fly spoiled. 

Is a very skilled pianist almost entirely due to his Grandmother’s tutelage. 

Surprisingly great with children/toddlers/babies, no one including himself expected this, he mostly feared them beforehand. 

Bit of a mummy’s boy in that he practically GLOWS when people talk of Astoria’s achievements. 

When he has time off from healing he will have chipped black nail varnish on. 

Highly intelligent but rarely manages to match a pair of socks, chews his quills but no one else’s. 

While very eloquent and well spoken, he is markedly less posh than when he first arrived at Hogwarts.

When he isn’t prone to bouts of insomnia he can take a nap pretty much anywhere. He was once found in a tree after several frantic hours search.

[ CREDIT : CHARACTER PSD template by @karmahelper (defunct url) I tried to find a current social this week by messaging around but couldn’t find anything unfortunately. Forgot to copy this over from the google doc! ]

[arrowverse-next-gen]

The old playground // late night gang #4

i watched a show w/ a great sibling dynamic and so i stole the mannerisms for this fic

The old playground was one of the most sacred places that the kids had access to.

It didn't look like much, especially when looked at from back when you could see the silhouette of the mansion in front of it.

But to the kids, it was a place for story telling, playing, and making up a life for themselves in the world of pretend.

In between games of Queen in the Castle(their version of House), Villains and Vigilantes(their version of cops&robbers), and just racing through the obstacles as if they were on American Ninja Warrior(because some things need to be normal), they would just hang out at the clubhouse.

The clubhouse was at the very top of the playground. It looked over the obstacles, the small play houses at the bottom, the sandbox, the swings, slides, and monkey bars.

The clubhouse was the most ideal place to bring friends....if they could handle the height of it that is.

Ada and JJ would sneak up here during middle school and discuss their future together. Ada was afraid of the height of the clubhouse until she was 14, but even then she asked William to join them, just in case. She knew he wouldn't let anything bad happen to her.

Eliza and Jason would climb to the top, and go further. They've been told countless times to not get on the roof of the clubhouse because it's so high up and slanted. If they were to fall, they would definitely be goners. Oliver also didn't like that they were so far away and alone...but that was mostly just him.

The other kids did whatever it is they did in the clubhouse. Eliza only knew about Ada because her dear sister cannot keep a secret. She's also a terrible liar despite having taken acting classes since she was 4.

The playground was the for the littles, one day they would get the clubhouse, but right now the playground was theirs, small houses on the ground included.

The older kids still sneak up to the clubhouse during big family events. It's hard to get a minute of privacy on the ground during crisis events, so they retreat to the clubhouse.

Sometimes it's as a big group, other times it's just a few people, and then there was Eliza.

She didn't come up here much anymore. She didn't come home often either, but she definitely didn't come up here.

She doesn't like the memories attached to it. Laughing, smiling, planning the future. Good memories, but after losing the company, you start to relate those memories with sadness.

She didn't want the clubhouse to be ruined for her. But she couldn't help it.

Now, it was just a place for her to escape. No one would look for her here. She could be alone in her thoughts and no one would know where she was.

Or so she thought.

As she sat on the roof of the clubhouse, looking at how the lights from the mansion brighten up the entire backyard, she pulled a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from her pocket. She took out one cigarette and placed the pack on one of the ridges in the roof. The lighter was placed right next to it when she was done with it.

The noise of the mansion was muffled from up here. This was one thing Eliza liked most. She liked barely being able to make out the shadows of people inside. She liked the quiet noise. She liked that the mansion lit up the playground but not the clubhouse.

Her phone lit up on the ridge next to the box and the lighter, catching her attention. She looked over at it, sticking the lit cigarette in her mouth so she could pick it up and read what the notification was.

It was just a grocery list from Quinn. Her dad must be serving food. Quinn can never come over for dinner without wanting to buy a new kitchen, pans and food included. She's the daughter that can cook that Oliver Queen never got....

Well, Miriam can cook. She likes to bake more. But she does know how to cook.

She sighed, putting her phone down and taking the cigarette out of her mouth. A puff of smoke following a few seconds later.

And then there was a noise. A different one. One that sounded like she wasn't alone anymore.

She quickly blew out air towards the smoke, trying to get it to fade away quicker. The last thing she needed was a lecture right now.

Just before she could crush the cigarette against the roof of the clubhouse, there was a shadow above her.

She was afraid to turn to see who it was, so she froze in place. The shadow, hesitated, but sat down next to her on the roof.

A hand came into view for her, and she slowly handed the cigarette over as she turned to see who she was sitting with.

By the time she had turned, the cigarette was already in TJ's mouth.

"What are you-"

"You shouldn't smoke." He interrupted, laying back on the roof, holding himself up with his forearms, cigarette still in mouth.

"How did you find me?" She asked, looking back at him.

He shrugged. "Oliver told me where you were."

"How did he know where I was?"

Thomas looked at Eliza, then back at the silhouette of the mansion. "You think your mom hasn't put cameras everywhere around this place?"

She groaned, laying back with Thomas on the roof. "Of course."

He looked over at her, taking the cigarette out of his mouth and handing it back to her. "What are you doing up here?"

She shrugged, putting the cigarette in her mouth.

"I know your mom's name is Smoak, but you really shouldn't."

She glared at him.

"Don't give me that look, I'm already damaged. I'm allowed."

She sighed, taking the cigarette out again.

"You talk a lot." He joked, sitting up to look back at her.

"You never shut up, do you?" She finally said, cigarette going back in her mouth.

Thomas stopped it before it could, putting it in his own mouth. "I've been here for months, we've hardly said two words to each other."

"Okay, what do you want to know?" She sat up. "I'm the oldest full blooded Smoak Queen, or I was. Family disappointment but they don't know it. I've brought home more guys than I can count but I've only ever had 3 boyfriends-"

"Alright, you don't just turn out like this. What's your story?"

"I'm sure you already heard it." She shook her head. "My family loves spilling secrets."

"I want to hear it from you." Thomas took the cigarette and handed it back to Eliza.

She hesitated, but took it back. "My boyfriend died." She spit it out, knowing that if she hesitated her words, she would never get anymore.

"And now you're a family disappointment?"

"It's a long story."

"So? Tell me. I have time."

His voice sounded sincere. He wasn't forcing her into talking, he wasn't judging her after finding her on a roof of a kid's playhouse with a cigarette, maybe she could tell him some of the story.

So she did.

She told him about how Jason was her first boyfriend. She told him that her dad hated that Jason was her first boyfriend.

She told him how they used to run away up here, talking about actually running away. Eliza always wanted out, even before he died.

She was there when he died. It was her fault. She told him to skip the vigilante business. She wanted to walk the city and she wanted to do it with him.

She left Star City not long after that. She wanted to get away. Now was the perfect time.

She didn't go through a grieving process. She had a day. She gave herself a day. After that, she forced herself to move on. She numbed her feelings however she could.

Drinks, drugs, parties, strange people.

Ada, Liv, and Quinn were the only ones who really know what was going on, well them and their boyfriends.

They thought she needed help, she did, but they didn't want to stage an intervention without giving her a chance to settle down.

After a year or so, they set her up with this annoying, hyperactive, time traveling idiot.

And she calmed down.

He didn't save her. He had his own issues to worry about. But he kept her busy. He kept her away from the parties because they'd go to get food instead. Without the parties, there were no longer strange people or drugs.

For awhile, during withdrawals, he sat by her side and told everyone who asked that she was just sick. It was the flu. She'd be fine. And she was.

They got over the drinking thing together.

And despite all of that....she hasn't brought him to the clubhouse.

It was a safe place. It was where you bring people you care about. And she didn't want to jinx anything.

Eliza went silent, clearly now thinking about everything she had said. Reliving it in her head.

Thomas took the silence as an opportunity to speak.

"My mom died after my sister was born."

She looked over at him, she felt her mouth open, wanting to ask about the sister part of the sentence. Something in her told her that she probably wouldn’t have to ask.

"It was just the three of us then. My dad never remarried. He worked a lot so I took care of Clara." He continued. "I'd have done anything for her." He looked out at the Queen mansion.

"She looked like Miriam."

Eliza felt a deeper sadness than she had felt before. She lost Jason. She couldn't ever imagine losing her sisters. She loved them more than anything in the world.

Thomas reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. He flipped it open and pulled out a small picture, handing it to Eliza.

Despite the darkness, Eliza could see the resemblance between Clara and Miriam.

"That's the boat that she's on." He spoke again, this time his voice sounded more wounded.

"The boat?"

"I saw her get on....I never saw her get off."

Thomas had a history that was a lot like her dad's. Except, he got on a boat with his girlfriend, sister, and dad.

"TJ, I...” Eliza started, but she didn’t really know what she could say. “Why are you telling me this?”

“We’re not that different.” He told her, she raised an eyebrow at him.

“I would give anything to have her back...but...” Thomas looked over at Eliza. “If I hadn’t left, if I gave up on everything and everyone else when I lost Clara, or when I lost Jade, I wouldn’t be here.”

“I still don’t understand.”

“I lost my sister...There’s nothing I can do about that. I can’t go back and save her.” He looked at the mansion, then at Eliza again. “But I can be here with you. I can help Miriam prepare a bribe lunch. I can help Owen bring his equipment from the basement to the garage.”

“Thomas-”

“I lost my sister.” He repeated. “But I gained so much more by accepting it and moving on.”

They both sat there in silence for a moment. Thomas placed his hand on Eliza’s shoulder.

“Everyone does things at their own pace....but when you’re ready...” He looked back at the mansion. “There’s this annoying, time traveling, idiot waiting for you on the porch.” He gave her a small smile before standing up and jumping from the roof of the clubhouse to the actual flooring of it, and then proceeding to climb down the play set.

Eliza watched as he dropped to the ground and walked back to the porch of the mansion. She quickly picked up her phone and sent him a text.

If you see him, tell him I’m at the clubhouse.

She saw Thomas pause before reaching the porch, something lighting up in his hand, then going dark again as he waved to someone she couldn’t see.

Her phone buzzed a few seconds later.

Ronnie:

why the hell are you on a roof?

She smiled, sending back a shrugging emoji before putting her phone down again.

Maybe it was time to move on.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

If your Runaan is King theory is true, do you think there might be any parallels between Runaan and Lain friendship and Harrow and Viren friendship (before Viren was taken over by dark magic)? And if Harrow died before he and Viren drew apart, would he have asked Viren to take care of his kids (same way Lain did with Runaan)?

Oh man, this is such a fun question! Gosh gosh gosh. I think there should be parallels there, yes! Lain is Runaan’s BFF, and Viren was Harrow’s. Like, that parallel is already there. The BFFs have/had a wife, and the leaders have had spouses too. There’s a group of four for each of them, two couples, with these pairs of men as the closest friends. 

Both sets of relationships are complicated, and though we know a bunch of the issues Viren and Harrow have dealt with, we really don’t know much about Lain and Runaan’s friendship or how it’s affected their friend group and marriages, aside from two things: Lain got Ruthari together by encouraging Runaan to tell Ethari how he felt, and Laindrin trusted Ruthari with Rayla’s upbringing. That’s kind of all we got so far.

But I would love to see a handful more really key mirrors and parallels in place. Some things that are the same, and some that are different. That’s really how this show’s characterization works, so I’m practically expecting it.

Viren and Lissa divorced because Viren was creeping her out with his dark magic, apparently. Lain and Tiadrin are still together, and they fight as a dedicated battle couple. But that doesn’t mean they didn’t face some kind of crisis moment too, where maybe Lain had a hard choice to make and Tiadrin decided to support him instead of pull away--or maybe Tiadrin was the one making the choice. 

Maybe it involved having Rayla? Or joining the Dragonguard? If Lain was the one invited, and he really wanted to go, Tiadrin would have to choose between staying with Rayla or staying with Lain. That’s a big echo of Claudia’s “Don’t make me choose!” right there, so maybe there’s something to that? (I have an angsty hc that Runaan, as the assassin leader, sent them both to the Storm Spire for many reasons. If one of them was to prevent Tiadrin having to choose, and if he chose to suffer the loss of both so they could remain together, gosh...) If they struggled with a decision and then left together, then Runaan and Ethari would have to support their friends’ departure while trusting that they’d be stronger together. Oh man, the feels.

Harrow and Viren are both men who will do things on their own if they must. We saw Sarai as more of a “I can go with you or leave you to your folly but clearly you need my help” kind of person when it came to the Magma Titan mission. And iirc there’s a tweet out there saying that Tiadrin and Sarai would be great friends if they met under peaceful circumstances. 

So maybe Tiadrin, with her tactical mind, has the same approach as Sarai, and Lain is more of a “Dude, bro, dude, let’s just do the thing, bro my dude my guy, I gotchu.” He’s very supportive, but that can also become enabling if it goes a little too far, so maybe Lain has gotten Runaan into some tight spots, or at least not talked him out of said spots, over the course of their friendship? And it was Tiadrin who saved their butts, which she does not let them forget. I can see Sarai teasing her boys about their follies and her needing to save the day, too, gosh I love that.

We don’t know what kind of societal role Lissa had. I’ve been assuming she didn’t fight like Sarai did, but I could be super wrong on that. If she isn’t a combatant, then she actually kinda parallels Ethari. Three fighters and someone who doesn’t fight, but with the pairings are swapped. That just adds more possibility to the paralleling options, though. 

And I’m wondering, maybe Runaan and Ethari had a moment like Lissa and Viren, where Ethari might’ve had to choose whether to stay with this stabby idiot after he saw something very unpleasant. Perhaps it was Runaan getting his scars? Viren sacrificed someone (presumably) to save Soren’s life. Perhaps Runaan nearly sacrificed his own on a mission. There’s a really dark parallel with these two about how little they value life--extra ironic and complicated for Runaan as a Moonshadow--and I can totally see a big scary moment happening where their spouses realize exactly how different their loved one’s philosophy is from their own. Except that Ethari stayed and Lissa left. and now Runaan has gone but Viren remains, aaaaa

I wonder how the other couples might’ve played out, there. When Viren and Lissa split, how did Harrow and Sarai handle it? What did Harrow try to do for his friend? Did they try to reconcile the couple? Probably. That could’ve felt like political pressure to Lissa. And I wonder if Harrow even knew what Viren had done to save Soren’s life, that he killed someone. I bet Viren wouldn’t tell him that part. Maybe he even lied, because his need to be Harrow’s friend, to be close to power and allowed to practice his magic, was so strong.

Lain and Tiadrin would’ve tried to talk to Runaan and Ethari too, I’m sure. They’re both assassins, just like Runaan, so they’d see his side, and Ethari might’ve felt very pressured as well, to just submit and go along. Not just as a freaked out spouse, but as the craftsman who made weapons for the assassin leader and for others, keeping them safe. If he left... who would keep Runaan safe? That’s kinda sus, bro. But I can see the Moonshadow logic in it.

Viren has attached himself to Harrow as friend and protector, and he’s dedicated years of his life to helping Harrow protect their people. Possibly Lain had the same motivation? “This guy’s important, so I wanna be his friend and help him out with that.” That’s not a bad thing at all. Viren’s motives were a little tainted by dark magic. Maybe Lain’s a stand-up guy. But maybe he also has some kind of self-interest involved in being Runaan’s best friend, too. Moonshadows be complicated.

tl;dr: Yes anon I am very here for an interwoven, complicated friendship between Lain and Runaan that involves spouses and plenty of good and bad history, similar to the long and complex relationship between Harrow and Viren. I am jonesing for more moonfam backstory so bad.

As to your other question, I do think that Harrow would’ve wanted to entrust his children to Viren before he and the dark mage drew apart. The question that arises for me is: when did that begin? 

I think it began with Sarai’s death. Harrow had his own plan, but he trusted Viren and did it his way, and he lost his wife in the process. Fifty thousand lives is a lot more than one life. But that one life was the most precious one to Harrow, and it made the sacrifice personal in a way that losing fifty thousand citizens never would be. 

Harrow might still have given his kids to Viren. But Amaya was also a choice. The general or the mage? Neither are super safe for a childhood environment.

Interestingly, in this parallel, Amaya is a lot more like Runaan: the fighter, who would’ve trained Callum and Ezran to fight because they grew up in such a dangerous environment. I wonder if there was another option for Laindrin to give Rayla to, one that was more magical, or more dubious? Lujanne comes to mind! Hah, can you imagine? Crikey!

I think that if Harrow and Sarai needed to give their boys to someone, Sarai would advocate for Amaya and win: “With troops like Gren and Corvus and the whole Standing Battalion to protect and raise them, there’s no safer place in all of Katolis!” It sounds like something Tiadrin would say about leaving Rayla with Runaan and Ethari, amidst the assassin corps. It’s not ideal by miles, but I can see why she, as a warrior herself, would see safety and a like-minded community as the strongest benefits.

If it was only Harrow, after Sarai died, it might still be Amaya, because his trust in Viren had begun to fracture, but it’s hard to say. I get the feeling that Harrow has never really seen Viren as dad material, even though he has kids. That hug thing in the S1 novelization was really weird, and I will never unsee Viren saying “familial clasp.” Viren, why are you like this. Anyway, Harrow might just decide that leaving his kids with a guy who literally doesn’t know what a hug is, might not be the best move for their emotional development.

He’s a good dad, an angry widower, an iffy king, a great jokester, a loving husband, and a loyal friend. He’s as complicated as Runaan is, kings or no. But I hope that he and Viren had many years of true friendship, just like I suspect Runaan and Lain have had. Positive, healthy relationships are good for everyone.

Please though, TDP, moonfam friendship stuff. This parallel is begging to happen and things don’t feel balanced without it. What’s that, there’s not enough time? 

*magically sprinkles five extra minutes onto each episode* Reality schmeality.