#CANT MAKE SOMEBODY BE MADE FOR YA

[t4tstarvingdog]

when you listen to a song and it makes you want to bite your hand off

[ryukzakiii]

distraction ⭑ l. lawliet (pt.2!)

part one here !

summary: now that the first move had been made, you start to realize just how badly L needs to be the best at anything he does, and how much he’s used to getting just what he wants.

pairing: l. lawliet x fem!reader

warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI), oral (f. receiving), voyeurism kinda, unprotected sex (wrap it up), praise ig, not really dom!L but he’s spoiled and gets what he wants, idk guys it’s nasty, fluff at the end :)

authors note: i got so carried away i cant edit it anymore just have at it and enjoy ya freaks!!

smut under the cut !!

after you and L first slept together that night in headquarters, his interest in you had grown exponentially. mainly because he couldn’t fully understand how somebody as beautiful and brilliant as you would ever be interested in somebody like him, but also because he had become fixated on learning everything there was to know about pleasing a woman. pleasing you.

every time the rest of the task force would leave for the night, he would take the opportunity to have you to himself almost immediately. as the nights went on, he grew more and more confident in what he was doing, being able to get you down on your knees in front of him just by speaking to you for a moment. his monotonous (yet somehow cocky) tone of voice alone drove you crazy.

as weeks became months, any little bit of hesitation he once had was smothered and he was just as sure of himself regarding you as he was regarding everything else; borderline too much.

that meant he began to want his needs to be met at any time he wished. like how he had sweets or drinks whenever he wanted, and anything he asked for he would always have post-haste, and it wasn’t like L to change his ways.

he would wait for everyone to leave the room, even just for ten minutes, and you’d be sitting in his lap barely able to catch your breath due to the fervour with which he kissed you.

he would ask watari to page you to his room if it was a night you hadn’t already been with him that day, either at school or out with friends, and you wouldn’t be there 5 minutes before he had you bent over a table (or the couch, or his work desk, or once over the windowsill the night you’d mentioned wanting to see the full moon).

in not so many words, his libido had gone into overdrive and he quite enjoyed getting whatever he wanted.

the only problem was that once you two were finished and he had a small break from the incessant urge to bury himself into you as deep as he could go, he still wanted to be just as close to you and horribly wanted you to feel the same way. unfortunately, this was the one situation where he couldn’t find the words to express his feelings.

so, since he had made it his goal to be the very best at making you feel good, he decided to get his point across to you the best way he now knew how.

“y/n, would you please come over here for a moment?”

almost everyone was currently heading out the door, off on their various ways for the evening aside from L, you, light, and misa. light had been discussing his thoughts about something with you while the others were busy and misa was awaiting a chance to convince light to hang out with her.

you excused yourself from your conversation with light and made your way to the opposite end of the room where L was sat in his usual spot in front of the television.

“what can i do for you?”

“actually i’d like to talk to you about something i want to do for you.” he said it as though light and misa weren’t 20 feet away, “well, to you, more accurately. i want to try something new, i wasn’t so sure i could do it but i believe i have a well enough understanding of what makes you tick to be successful.”

despite how casually and technical he spoke, every word was making that familiar damp feeling between your legs reappear. he was looking at you like he wanted to take a bite and it took everything in you not to fall to your knees right then and there, “uh, what exactly did you have in mind?”

“i’d really like to try my hand at performing cunnilingus. in fact,” he turned his head to look towards the others in the room, “let’s do it now. no time like the present eh?”

“L, whatever you’re thinking about is a bad idea. light and misa are right over there.”

“nevermind them, they won’t be able to see past the back of the couch, come and sit here.”

you nodded and he slid over and motioned for you to sit where he had just been, handing you his cell phone in the process, “if you get too nervous about them, speed dial light on this and it will send a message to his phone to meet down in headquarters. sound good?”

the second he saw you nod again, he crouched down to the floor in front of you and began working away at the clasp of your pants. he shimmied them down your legs and onto the floor, gently so as not to make a sound, your underwear going next leaving you fully exposed to him.

he was in awe. sure, he was now incredibly familiar with your body, but he’d never gotten as close as he now found himself. your pussy was just inches from his face, wet and waiting, all for him. his hands gripped the insides of your thighs, pushing them apart so he could get a better look at you in all your glory.

“would you look at this, you’ve gotten wet before i’ve even touched you.” he spread you further open with his thumbs, fingers still curled into your thighs and hot breath fanning over you, “i suppose it would only be right of me to clean up the mess i’ve caused, don’t you think?”

“yes, please.” your voice came out as barely a whisper, “but they’re going to hear you.”

“shh, just press the button and they’ll go away.” he pressed a kiss right above your clit and you had to bite your tongue to stop from crying out. even just keeping your head still was almost impossible.

you gripped the phone tightly in your hand as he kissed your clit this time, sucking it into his mouth gently.

he wasn’t trying to get you caught. that would undoubtedly be bad for the both of you, for both your jobs and your reputations. so why did he find himself itching to make you cry out? to make light and misa painfully aware of the fact that in the same suite they sat in talking innocently, L was making you feel the best that anyone could, so good you lost all sense of control and let them find out.

he knew you would never be able to show your face again had this happened though, so he reached a hand above him and clasped it over your mouth, “be quiet, i’m trying to concentrate.”

you squirmed under his touch and his tongue began to venture further, further inside his favourite place to be. he licked a stripe all the way back to your clit and your thighs instinctively squeezed shut around his head.

his hand muffled the whine that escaped you and you were sure someone would hear you. you clicked the button to dial light and finally tossed away the phone, gripping onto the couch cushions with both hands to keep yourself grounded.

you could hear his phone chime, followed by the sound of chairs pushing out and the door slamming. L paused his movements and was at last able to come up for air, mouth and chin now glistening in the faint light from the tv.

“finally i have you all to myself,” he readjusted so his arms curled under your legs, allowing him a better hold to keep them open wide.

he dove right back in, pointy nose prodding at your clit with every movement of his mouth making your body jolt. your hands worked their way into his already messy hair, holding onto it tightly as you began rocking your hips into his mouth, wet and warm and making you feel amazing.

“yes, yes just like that,” you panted out, “god that’s perfect L, please, don’t stop.”

he groaned into your pussy hearing you talk to him like that, sending a shockwave up through you. you were close, he could tell, he just had to get you there. he needed to get you there, to show you how good he could be for you.

you held him impossibly tighter to you as the knot in your stomach began to build, dragging yourself along his tongue hurriedly enough to make you wonder if he was able to keep up. your moans turned into high pitched whines as you approached your release, not a care in the world anymore about who might be around to hear you.

with both the pretty sounds you were making and the simple act of you using his mouth however you pleased, riding his tongue now to practically get yourself off, L felt so accomplished. knowing he could make you feel just as desperate for him as he felt for you was enough that he could die happy.

“oh fuck, fuck i’m gonna cum,” he was doing it. your whole body began to spasm and your back arched straight off the couch. he held you as still as he could and your legs once again closed around his head, this time squeezing for dear life as his tongue continued to work circles around your clit. all that was coming out of your mouth was babbles of his name and profanities.

as the pleasure soon turned into overstimulation, he continued without faltering his pace. he was determined. he was sure you’d probably had a good experience to compare this to, hell maybe even a great one, so he had to be sure he was the best.

“L, please, ‘s too much,” you whined, “it’s my turn.”

he pulled away entirely, coming closer to head level and giving your overworked pussy the break it was craving, “i’m sorry, i don’t recall saying anything about you getting a turn.”

“but what about you? just a taste, just quick.”

he cut you off by pressing his thumb down on your clit, the other hand moving up to cover your mouth again with a bit more force than the first time.

“i don’t know when you got it in your head that you run the show around here, but i suggest you get used to listening to me. keep being difficult and i’ll have no choice but to stop entirely.” he was bluffing, of course, but his stone cold expression didn’t give him away. his eyes trailed down to where his thumb was pressed, the corners of his mouth twitching up into a smile, “i really don’t want to have to do that. you just taste so, so sweet. think you can be good and behave for me?”

you nodded vigorously, pussy squeezing around nothing and begging him for attention again, the cocky, almost condescending tone in his voice making you shiver.

“excellent. now turn around for me please, hands on the back of the couch.”

you did as he asked the second he let go of you, hands holding firmly to the back of the couch and ass presented to him. you could hear his belt undoing, followed by a zipper and you braced yourself for him, but nothing.

L was a bit busy. stroking himself with one hand he stood to take in the sight before him. he had a bad habit of doing this, staring at you when he was supposed to be doing something, but he couldn’t help it. his eyes were glued to where you needed him to be, trying to carve the sight of it into his memory. his free hand held your waist as he finally lined himself up, coaxing another whine out of you as he bottomed out.

his thrusts started shallow and slow, your gentle moans fading into the background as he focused on how warm you felt.

you turned your head back to look at him, the sight of him looming over you with his jaw hung slack making you squeeze around him, “harder L, please.”

he switched to both hands and tightened his grip on your waist, “what did i say about behaving?” nonetheless, he was pushing into you much rougher now than before, yet still agonizingly slow.

“‘m sorry, it just feels so good.”

he began to pick up his pace, breathing becoming heavier the more into it he got, soon letting out little pants and groans of his own. generally, he was rather quiet during sex, only really vocalizing near the end when he couldn’t hold it in anymore, so the fact that he was talking to you and teasing you was a very pleasant surprise.

“yeah? does that feel good?” hearing you say just how good he was doing spurred him on even further, “do me a favour, id like to see the rest of you, please.”

you pulled the shirt you were wearing over your head as best as you could, L placing a hand on your sternum to hold you up. instead of letting you back down however, his hand trailed up to your chest, taking hold of one of your breasts as your back came flat against his chest. his chin rested on your shoulder and you could feel his sharp breaths hitting your ear, his racing heartbeat on your back matching your own.

the knot in your stomach returned, your pussy fluttering around him making him feel like he was on top of the world, “you— you’re so beautiful, god i could do this all day. look at you, so responsive to me, and such a good listener.”

all you could do was pant, his pace now unforgiving and making you feel like he was tearing you apart in the best way possible. he kissed behind your ear and let go of your chest in favour of rubbing gentle circles on your clit.

your whole body felt like it was white hot, “shit! yes, oh please L. i need it, i need you, please make me cum.”

he’d never heard you sound so frantic before and it was driving him up the wall, “y/n, you feel so incredible.” the more he spoke the quicker your release came rushing through you like a stampede, “i love feeling you around me like this, fuck, you’re just perfect.”

you gripped onto his arms and craned your neck to try and look at him, crying out pleas of his name and senselessly confessing to him how beautiful he was and how good he always made you feel. he held you impossibly tighter, his work on your clit long forgotten now as his only goal was to keep you as close as physically possible.

his hair hung low over his eyes, messy and sticking to his face from sweat. you were getting overstimulated once again but you’d lost all the sense in you to care, another orgasm bubbling up already because of it. L felt it, as if the look on your red face wouldn’t have given it away regardless, and his jaw fell open as his own release came creeping up on him.

his hips finally began to falter, a few loud, deep groans ripping out of him. his eyebrows knitted together and he shut his eyes, steady whimpers and groans falling out of him now as the two of you reached your peak together.

you felt him twitch inside of you, one of his arms reaching to hold the couch as his muscles began to give out on him. he placed sloppy, sweet kisses on your jaw before flopping down onto his back on the couch with an outstretched arm waiting for you.

he was back to normal, back to being his quiet self. you laid your head on his chest and he yanked the blanket from the back of the couch to cover the two of you, fingers gently tapping and tracing lines onto your bare back. this was your favourite part of it all, just laying with him and basking in what you’d just done.

for L, despite how much he craved the feeling of this, this was the part that would still make him question himself. when thoughts of self-doubt had an opening to creep up on him. the muscles in his hands twitched and the hold he had on you subconsciously tightened, dreading the moment you decide to get up and go to your room to take care of yourself.

every time you would bid him adieu, he could feel exactly where you had been laying become cold, physically reminding him of your absence. he couldn’t stand it. every night he tried to work up the courage to tell you to come back, to wait for him in his room instead, to ask you if he could come to bed with you, but every night the words would get caught in his throat and he’d choke.

you didn’t show any signs of getting up though, if anything you were letting yourself get comfier. he revelled in it, the whole room smelled a little like sweat but he found it almost sweet. maybe that would become his new favourite smell. he hoped you were as blissful as he was.

you trailed a hand up under the front of his shirt, letting your hand rest over his heart and feeling it quicken with every little movement you made.

“i really don’t want to get up.” you finally spoke, “i wish we could just stay like this.”

he winced, “don’t get up. you don’t have to.”

you tilted your head up to look at him, his face finally visible with his hair going every which way and his eyelids hanging half-closed. this was the most relaxed he ever looked, probably because he was far less concentrated than he usually had to be.

“we can’t just sleep here on the couch, L.”

we. we can’t sleep here on the couch, “we could. technically we can do whatever we want.”

he smiled at you, a coy little smile, and you knew you were so screwed.

“how about you go and wait for me in my room then?” he wasn’t looking at you anymore, too nervous for your response, “i just have to put all these files where they need to go, and maybe clean up a little.”

“really?”

“if that’s something you want to do, if not don’t feel like you’re obligated to say yes.”

“no i want to! i mean, as long as you’re sure you want me in your room.”

“of course i do.”

he sent you upstairs with his key card once the both of you were dressed again and you nervously waited for the elevator to stop on his floor. skipping the whole way to his bedroom, and once inside you tucked yourself away in the bathroom to clean yourself up.

when L entered the room, you were nowhere to be seen. he heard the sound of the running tap in the bathroom and decided to wait for you in the bed. he laid right in the middle, how he was used to sleeping, and watched you with a smile plastered on his face as you walked out of the bathroom and over towards him.

you climbed under the blanket with him and tucked under his arm, head laying on his chest and an arm stretched across his torso.

“your bed’s comfy.”

“it’s a lot more comfortable now that you’re in it.” he placed a hand on your head, “before you fall asleep, i want to tell you id like if you slept here more often. whenever you want, in fact.”

“i will be taking you up on that.” your eyes were closed, sleep beginning to whisk you away, “you’re about to see so much of me you’ll get sick of it.”

as he felt you shift into unconscious, breathing slowed against his chest and your body pressed against his, he was sure he was the luckiest man in world at that moment, “i’d never get sick of you.”

[chocsra]

if you’re ok with writing for multiple characters, could i request a platonic oneshot with chuuya and dazai x fem!reader who is apart of their “double black” (except ig it wouldn’t be double black anymore) and both mediates their arguments and instigates them? (maybe a snippet of friends to lovers between chuuya and the reader 🤭) tysm have a nice day!

"Unlit Cigarettes stained by Warm Lips"

15! Chuuya x gn! reader x 15! platonic! Dazai

A/N: ofc! yall i should keep my mouth shut bc i make too many promises i cant keep. HALLOWEEN IS SOON BTW AAAAAA

Content: stuck in a jail cell with your unfortunately idiotic subordinates, fluff, crack, mafia work, reader is MEAN, a little romance w chuuya, dazai may be ooc but i like to think that in this kinda dynamic he acts more like a normal teen, slight soukoku, smoking, lots of swearing, NOT PROOFREAD‼️‼️

"Missss.. [Y/N]s smoking."

You slap the lanky boy's shoulder harshly as you shove the cigarette box back into your sleeve, watching as your other subordinate's face contort in surprise as Dazai mockingly whines. "Ow.." he rubs his shoulder with bandaged fingers, the ginger next to him looks at you with amusement and confusion. "Where the hell did ya get that?" he asks, you sulk in annoyance from the whining bastard beside you, "Up your ass." a quiet click of the tongue from the ginger can be heard as you defy his genuine question.

Unfortunately, these two are your subordinates, your partners in criminal work, your associated murderers in the underground business. Even though Double Black is all scary and terrifiyingly violent, you thought they were a pair of funny, immature and idiotic assholes.

Dazai Osamu, a lanky, greasy boy wrapped in bandages, loved dying. Yes, he wanted to fucking die, but he doesn't. You sometimes question his skill of staying alive after that many suicide attempts, but it's alright, you suppose. The mafioso had messy brown hair and wore massive suits that did not fit him and constantly smells like dog shit. He claims he has a silver tongue with women but the only woman he 'has' is the front-desk suicide hotline lady. If somebody ever asked your opinion on him, you would answer.. "He's.. interesting."

Next is Chuuya Nakahara, a short, but strong arrogant boy who is frustratingly brutal. Veeery brutal. He's extremely competitive and takes every minor activity as a sweat-inducing challenge. Karaoke is a pain when he's screaming his ass off, simplistic cooking or baking is horrifiying because this shithead works like he's donating food to charity as if his fatass isn't going to inhale everything afterwards, and any sort of video game was devasting, any one.

He had short ginger hair and stormy azure eyes. His fashion sucked until Koyou, a fellow superior of yours knocked some sense into him. Chuuya had a rather small figure but fairly muscled. Yeah, he flexed his abs (ribs) in the mirror randomly. The boy loved fedoras, chokers and classic, fancy clothing that made girls scream 'DAMON TORRANCE 😍‼️' under his Instragram posts. If someone were to ask your opinion on him, you'd say: "He's an alright guy," with a shrug.

Some dumbass landed you three in jail for a reason you'd rather not speak of, and now you have to deal with the aftermath of waiting for your 'beloved' guardian, Mori Ougai to come bail you three out.

"Mackerel," Chuuya jabs Dazai's side, intensely glaring at him. "Why'd you get the guard's attention? I could've smoked." he hisses, causing the taller boy to snap back at him with an eyeroll. "Nah it's fine, I don't have a lighter anyway." you mediate the tension, boredly playing with the flimsy cigarette box in your hand. The redhead scoffs a little, leaning back in the concrete seat of the jailcell, impossibly manspreading further. "We could use Dazai's hot ass breath as a makeshift lighter.." Chuuya suggests with a smirk, the lanky teenager sassily scoffs, "Or rub pipsqueak's oily hair until it catches fire."

"Like- how would that make a fire?" you retort in amusement, "Have you ever been to a science class?" Dazai and Chuuya shrug in sync unshamefully,

"Was busy protectin' gangsta kids."

"Missed most of middle school 'cause of an attempt."

...

"Fair enough," you shrug back, fixing your hair. "Y'know, Boss is gonna kill us when he gets here." you add on, leaning your head against the prison wall. "I know, I'm not fuckin' prepared," Chuuya copies your movements beside you, loosely throwing an arm around your shoulder. Dazai's eyebrows knit in amusement and embarrassment at the sight, "Pipsqueak, you are NOT smooth." the ginger almost glitches as he flew away from you at those words, now chasing the brunette around the jailcell.

"'Playfighting between you guys is a fuckin' hazard, even for the mafia." you mumble, placing the unlit cigarette between your lips to feel the sensation once more. "This isn't playfighting! I'm gonna kill his ass!" Chuuya pants between missed kicks thrown at Dazai. "That's why [Y/N] thinks you give 'dog vibes'!!" the brunette retorts, bringing up a previous conversation based off you psychoanalyzing your coworkers.

"Why you!-" the smaller boy curses, flying off a wall aimed towards Dazai's head. "I'm not wrong though!!" you fling your arms up in surrender, smiling cheekily as Chuuya rolls his eyes. "After this fuckboy, you're next." You swallow thickly in slight fear. You swore you could hear walls crack and floors thump at the loud commotion, drowning out the poised footsteps towards your cell.

"Sir, are these your children?"

A kind, petite policewoman points to you three fighting like rabid animals. Mori Ougai, your tall, diabolic and terrifiying boss smiles fakely, watching his underlings fight in pure irritation.

"Unfortunately."

The tall brunette immediately halts as the ginger almost decks him in the face. Your hands stay frozen in the air as if you've been caught instigating a chicken fight.

Dude, you are so fucked.

[autisticaradiamegido]

Haiiii!

You're that senshi cosplayer right?

My brother is trying to cosplay him, do you have any tips?

Oh man Senshi involved a LOT of firsts for me cosplay-wise, so I am not sure I did everything in the best or most efficient way. But! Here is a quick rundown of what I did. Skirt and Bracers w/ the fur: - this is a pretty basic sewing project! i just bought some brown faux-leather at joanns and made some slightly tapered tubes based on my waist and arm measurements. very easy and very little patterning involved!

The top: - literally just wore a gray tank top i already had

The armor: - Oh man okay this was my first time doing proper EVA foam armor, so take everything I say with a grain of salt BUT!! basically, I patterned everything out in paper first to get a decent idea of how it would fit on me. then i traced it out on some EVA foam rolls I had lying around from other cosplay prop builds, just a little bigger than my paper mock-ups to account for The Thickness of the foam. -The helmet was absolutely the hardest part and my main advice here is to be at peace with the idea that you may have to redo a lot of stuff and build a lot of prototypes to get that thing to fit your head right. - Once you have the foam base, you can build on top of it with foam clay to clean up the seams/add more organic shapes and details/etc. and if you use water to blend it in with the foam it can turn out reeeeally nice and seamless! I got all those supplies at michaels. -then after making sure all of that is nice and smooth and sculpted how you want it, you can sand and carve in any last details. THEN it's time to seal that shit for painting and durability! -for this, i used Plasti-Dip. it is basically a spray paint that creates a rubberized coating over top of the foam. this means the foam wont just soak up the paint when you apply it, AND it helps stiffen everything up a bit while still leaving it flexible AND toughening it up against dings and dents. -then painting! my biggest painting tip is WEATHER THAT SHIT!!! painting a single solid color can get it all unified but what'll really sell the look is going back over those base colors with watered down black to get it into all the little imperfections and stay there, bring out the details and add texture. makes the armor feel lived-in! -ALL THAT SAID: I actually found out later that a number of people have put out 3D print files for the various armor bits AND the helmet, so if you either HAVE a 3D printer or are willing to shell out for somebody else to print those for you to assemble, that might be an easier way to go about it! all up to you, i cant vouch for how that goes re: fitting it to your specific body and all that, plus idk how comfy itd be in comparison? but it certainly seems easier lol The sandals: -same as above only i attached the armor bits to a pair of flip flops i already had and thought were comfy. senshis foot armor situation is kinda wacky ngl. i have no idea what that weird crescenty bit on top of his toes is for. but thats what the reference images show sooo what can ya do.

THE BEARD: -oh man so this was another first but i REAAAAALLY loved the result. okay so my tip is this: if you want your wig and beard to match exactly? just buy two of the same wig. one goes on your head, and one gets flipped turned upside down and cut into a beard shape!!! -i will tell you a cheap lace-front wig is a LOT more affordable than one of those fancy hand-laced beard pieces, and it LOOKS waaaay better than like, the usual party city fake pirate beard you will probably find when searching for affordable costume facial hair, particularly if he's gonna want the option to remove the helmet and go full Hot Senshi Mode.

-literally i just had to cut a hole in the wig for my mouth and trim up a decent mustache above the mouth hole. -then you can use the little uhh.... elasticky bits? with the hooks?? that go inside the wig and help you adjust it to your head size? i literally just stretched them up and hooked them onto my wig cap and i BARELY needed to tack anything down with spirit gum. it held that thing up like a fucking champ and, all things considered, was pretty comfy!! didnt have to hook anything over my ears or anything!! -oh if you dont have any experience with spirit gum tho MAKE SURE YOU ALSO PURCHASE SPIRIT GUM REMOVER. it leaves such a nasty residue after, and its a son of a bitch to scrub off. i super recommend the remover.

oh and remember to add some blush to your nose when you go out wearing the full thing. rly adds to the overall Senshi effect i think! uhhh i think thats it??? for senshi's pan i literally just bought like a big fucking wok and strapped it to my back. it wasnt as heavy as youd think tbh but then i am kind of a tryhard. and for the little walking mushroom... idk! my mom crocheted it for me a while back and i thought it would be a really cute prop!

[chaotic-archaeologist]

Hi Reid!

I recently finished my undergrad, double major history/anthro w a minor (kinda, its complex lol) in animal studies. Im volunteering at a university zooarchaeo lab, since thats what I wanna do, but I'm searching for history/archival/archaeo work bc I Need To Be Paid and really struggling since I don't have a drivers license yet and can't leave where I'm at rn anyway bc of my lab volunteering which is every week (also im working on a GIS cert too so... cant leave city for like 8-10 day shifts lol). Its getting *quite* demoralizing im ngl, esp since I have an undiagnosed fatigue condition on top of it all so stuff like minimum wage customer service isnt suuuuper an option for me tbh.

Was wondering if you had any advice for the archaeologists coming out of undergrad?

If not, a strange history fact that might make me laugh will suffice /j (ya boy needs a laugh)

From,

Currently Sitting In A Tree, Listening to Unreal Earth by Hozier

Hi dirtling, I'm afraid that I don't have great news for you. My answer is going to be more or less the same as the one I gave in this post, which essentially boils down to: you need to go to grad school if you want to be employed in this field.

Working in pretty much any anthropology job is going to require at least a Master's degree, especially ones that require such specialized knowledge like zooarchaeology. Please go look at the post I linked above, because I outlined a good approach for figuring out what kind of qualifications you're going to need.

Also, pretty much every archaeology fieldwork job listing out there is going to require a valid driver's license (at least in the United States). They cannot legally require you to have your own car, but being able to drive a company/crew car (and sometimes a truck and/or a trailer) is a skill that Cultural Resource Management companies are going to be looking for, if you decide to go that route. Lab jobs might be different, but they're less common that fieldwork positions.

I'm sorry—I know this probably isn't the answer you wanted to hear, but somebody needs to give you a realistic assessment of the anthropology job market. Ideally this would've been mentioned as part of your undergraduate education, but better late than never.

There are options out there for you—I really believe that. If you choose not to go to grad school right now or ever, an anthropology degree can be parlayed into any number of jobs that involve understanding humans and culture: public relations, human resources, marketing/advertising, demographics analysis, etc. The GIS cert is also a very marketable skill. Here's a good webpage to look at.

As for a historical fun fact, check out this Smithsonian article about bread that was made with yeast and a recipe from ancient Egypt!

-Reid

[s0lar-ch3ri]

making this a series ig (spoilers, mostly minor, idk well just have to ROLL WITH IT AND SEE)

episode is starting from zero, episode 1 (quick note: i love how excited everyone is aty the beggining for this camoain, so heartwarming) "'for all you audio listeners your about to hear what a man catching on fire sounds like' 'and also a house catching on fire'" "so its like 3 belts? yeah" "this character sucks not enough belts" ok chip hasnt been described and hes already drawn blood "how much trouble does this woman have keeping her pants up holy shit" "anything that looks valueable, take it" "whats a barrel" instant love with this campaine from here "ill carry this" "ok" "but w h y" “this is the fastest I've ever committed arson in a campaign” "ok as soon as we light this ill let them know so they die an honorable death" "but the barrel is terrified of fire" "so this is a barrel" "lets blow up this popcicle place" hes trying guys "grab a barrel as well i need to study" "in you multitude of belts" when did i forget jay had so many and got bullied for it "i hope she didnt find any more belts in there" ok but whenever i hear marshal jon being described the dopamine just floods out "oh! that wasnt the bathroom!" "no it was not, it was the room where we got the explosives" "WHAT ARE YOU GRABBING THE EXPLOSIVES FOR" "to blow up your ship" bro i loved how gill interacted with people before what an idiot /pos "gill make a-dont make anything you told the truth" gotta love grizzly doing a save "and jay you go to kick this man in the back of the knee and you do you realise that his calf muscles are literally built like boulders" "i want to put my hand on his shoulder" and so it begins the convincing! yes gill go!! "hang on let me see that...big j" "JON, ITS YOUR CHOIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE" "as the door is blown off-" "did somebody fart?" ah yes gill you lit the explosive that makes people fart" "BACHOW!" please dont stop this man from making random noises its great "is your skin always wet or is it dry?" GRIZZ ASKING THE REAL QUESTIONS!! "you are to learn a lesson from the moisture master!" remember when gill made his title canon now, its 6 seconds to 20 minutes in "THOSE PIRATES!" man knowing him now its kinda strange to hear him hunting them down "i just occasonally grab people and im like 'you can be better'" cant believe gill went from telling people to be better to just immedately trying to solve their problems (like not even 2 episodes later if im remembering right) "excellent jay you are a fog frog" "im gonna steal somebody's hat then run out the door" jay stealing chips job now "im passing the barrel out the window" i remember when hed just be a problem for any stealth kind of movements "MY FRIEND SAID HE DOESNT WANT YOU TO HAVE AN ADVANTAGE" "there is still time" ITS STARTING WOW "you get the sense this guy cannot see very well" i forgot he had sight problems "YOU BLEW A HOLE IN OUR TOWER" "and you blew a hole in my heart" ACCIDENTAL FORESHADOWING AND A GREAT MOMENT FOR SHIPPERS?? HOW MUCH IS CHARLIE FEEDING US WITH GILLION TIDESTRIDER!?!!? (spoiler: a lot) "can i make a persuasion check?" "sure" if charlie never said this we would never have the future pirate jon, IF HE NEVER GOT A 16 THINK WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED "you cant tell if i cry a single tear or if im usually that moist" the fact that he is can make for an angsty hc that nobody really would notice gill crying "jon didnt make it" oh this better not be another accidental foreshadow "you see, a pink frogtupus" everyone being excited for the preztal reveal was also all of us huh dont lie! "i look like a big flounder" fanartists canon gill description /j "god damn it big j" friendly reminder that (from what ive seen) marshal jon is the only character gill gave a nickname, and he had met him like 20+ minutes ago "YA BOY GILL ABOUTA BE FRIED" "ima just grab them both and jump" ngl i cant put my finger on it but calmer gillion probs the chaos control thats needed because of him being feral "jon this is for you" *proceeds to get an 8* (would have been epic if he suceeded that charisma tho) "jon, the power is- eyeh" "i look over wistfully (?) 'but w h y?'"

[madame-bavarian-cream]

AOT characters and music they’d listen to:

feat. Levi, Mikasa, Eren, Jean, Erwin, Hange, Armin, Sasha, Connie

But it’s really specific and not at all based off of people i know 😀 (i never ever do this but it was a thought that wouldnt leave me alone).

Eren: 

i’m sorry am I supposed to believe this dumb mf doesn’t listen to only tiktok songs w/o any awareness of him doing it???? He’ll be like “hey have you heard this new song?” 😄😄and its just an edited version of a song made by the neighbourhood years ago 😕 PLSSS sir diversify your tastes!!! he obsessively listened to that “my money don’t jiggle jiggle” song unironically. Before tiktok, he would only listen to music on that Top50 spotify playlists and the only playlists he had saved outside of it was one mikasa made for him. 😐😐 Also he hasn’t listened to the sza album and thinks the big boys song is on it (keep up 😤😤😤)

Levi:

i was so close to just saying he doesn’t listen to anything “why do u need music when you can just appreciate the silence??” BECAUSE SIR music sounds GOOD!!! 🤨🤨this is why i’d think he’d listen to shit like Kaleo?!?!?! 😭😭😭 idek just something that litterally does not evoke a single emotion . its just like . there . He probably might listen to the lumineers on occasion (ik theyre really good don’t come at me🫣🫣) poor bb would probably like heavy metal if somebody ELSE played it for him (he would never admit to it tho) bc its something Kenny used to play when he was younger but never asked him what kind of music it was to search it up himself. 🥺🥺

Mikasa: 

my sweet girl. :( she is a fiend!! she is a pinchrest, lana del rey, mitski, rina, bjork, tv girl, marina girly thru and thru🤩🤩(im not pulling this from my spotify i sweAR) shes so deadfaced about it. she shits on all those weird coquette girlies tho!! (as she should queen!!!) Never will admit to listening to it tho, and not because she’s embarrassed but because she doesn’t want anyone thinking she relates to the themes/subject matter (bbg why are you lying🥲🥲) But that’s okay because we can consume art critically! 😁😁😀

Jean:

oh dear god. save this white man pls. 😢😢ok okok he actually has pretty good taste in music. hes the type that argues “i love all kinds of music just not country” (but ya know hes singing along to 9 to 5 everytime it plays on shuffle🤭🤭) he’s also very idgaf with the type of music he listens to and for that reason he’ll put you onto amazing artists!!! I feel like he listens to a lot of Omar Apollo, Sega Bodega, Dominic Fike, idkkk. He also listens to A LOT of Brent Faiyaz, the weeknd, and Gunna.😍😍BUTT I also will die on this hill that he used to love Eminem and would memorize all the lyrics (jeanboy is the real slim shady)😙 i luv him, he burns cds for all his friends (yes eren too) but will hand them off so nonchalantly and will be so careful in making the order of the tracks (yes eren too) and everyone will mock him for being so loving (yes eren too). Anyways I headcanon that jean is very very open with giving out all his love to his friends, always hosting everyone (yes eren too), wears his heart on his sleeves, tells his mom every little detail about them, and has the entire checklist for being a good friend down. anyways this isn’t unfortunately a jean post :( i luv him so much actually. also a big radiohead fan for some reason !😝😝

Hange:

I WAS SO EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!!!!!! hange has the best music taste and nobody expects it . (except me duh because i luv hange so so so so much 🤨) hange listens to what spotify categorizes as escape room music on their spotify wrapped. They listen to Eartheater, arca, bjork, coucou chloe, kilo kish, dorian electra, UGH I JUST CANT NOT ARGUE THIS ENOUGH!!! 👹👹hange’s dragging erwin and levi to the concerts and erwin’s grandpa ass is so enthusiastic for no reason (go white man go 🤠🤠) but like thats not all?? they also listen to artists like sevdaliza, florence, caroline polachek!!! HANGE LOVES WOMEN!!!! 😤FKA TWIGS, iamamiwhoami, kelela, kelsey lu :)))))) i feel like hange just loves :( it started out with trying to annoy levi with the weirdest sounding music ever but it turned out,,,,they really liked this kinda music (thx levi) Now he’s stuck with all their car rides consisting of hange whispering eartheater songs in his ear from the passengers seat right next to his ear. (also obsessed with any song they can gather people to dance along with #justdanceking) 🤞🤞

Erwin: 

erwin’s weird. he’s a weirdo. in case ya haven’t noticed. 😭😭 idk why his is so hard to think of??? He’s an unironic Rosalía stan and claims he luvs latina singers!! 😡😡i hate him so much. ok ok ok he’s a mariah carey, whitney houston, beyoncé, fan. He also loves like 2010s girl group music like fifth harmony, little mix, etcetera. 😫He cries to aretha franklin and nina simone. but he also knows the verses to Nicki’s songs :) i love him so much. ❤️

Sasha + Connie: 

they listen to the same music idc idc! Bad bunny, playboi carti, the weeknd. Connie went thru a bart simpson vapor wave/juice wrld phase. 😐😐😐He wouldve still been posting about XXXtentacion if Sasha didn’t smack some sense into him 😠😠(everyone say thank you sasha) Sasha also listens to lots of Britney i havta say! also loved the neighbourhood, arctic monkeys, etc growing up. I luv her so much 🤭🤭

Armin: 

my sweet darling boy grew up listening to emo rock and goth rock growing up. he hid it from everyone tho! instead he listened it to full blast on his headphones for hours at night and thats why today he says “huh.” 😕after every sentence someone says :/ hes grown out of it now but he still can belt out the lyrics to black parade anyday! went crazy over King for a Day bc Kellin Quinn AND Pierce the Veil?!?!?!😳😳 Now he loves screaming along in eren’s ear! 🤪🤪

[pesterloglog]

Vriska Serket, Meenah Peixes

Act 6, page 7790-7797

(VRISKA): Meenah........?

(VRISKA): What's wrong?

(VRISKA): Come on!

MEENAH: yeah uh

MEENAH: vriska

MEENAH: um

MEENAH: listen

(VRISKA): ...

(VRISKA): What?

MEENAH: iiiiii uh

MEENAH: ...

MEENAH: aw fuck

MEENAH: dunno how to say this

(VRISKA): What is it??

MEENAH: i think i might go actually

(VRISKA): ?!?!?!?!

MEENAH: with

MEENAH: vriska

MEENAH: i mean

MEENAH: that one

(VRISKA): No!

(VRISKA): No, please, Meenah...

(VRISKA): You can't!

MEENAH: i just

MEENAH: i dunno if

MEENAH: this

MEENAH: this whole thing is...

MEENAH: (fuck!)

(VRISKA): Meenah, no...

MEENAH: im not like

MEENAH: AGR-E-EIN with her

MEENAH: on a lotta that stuff

MEENAH: i just

MEENAH: im bored 38(

(VRISKA): 8ut...

(VRISKA): I thought...

(VRISKA): You liked...?

MEENAH: i did

MEENAH: i mean i do

MEENAH: im just sick of sittin around

MEENAH: not being a part of anything

MEENAH: i want to see some action ya know?

MEENAH: wanna go kill a BAD GUY

(VRISKA): Ok! Yeah! I get that!

(VRISKA): Hey, me too! Look, see?

(VRISKA): I do too! Forget what I said, we can go fight him together!

(VRISKA): Just, not with her, ok? I couldn't handle that. It can just 8e you and me!

MEENAH: yeah seaaa

MEENAH: i dont

MEENAH: i dunno about that

MEENAH: the thing is

MEENAH: i think what im sayin here is

MEENAH: as great as its been

MEENAH: like R-E-ELY great

MEENAH: i think this has gotta...

MEENAH: be...

MEENAH: it

(VRISKA): It??

MEENAH: 38(

(VRISKA): No...

(VRISKA): No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no...

(VRISKA): Why?!

(VRISKA): Meenah, please! Don't do this!

VRISKA: You heard the lady.

VRISKA: She's made up her mind.

(VRISKA): STAY OUT OF THIS!!!!!!!!

(VRISKA): *Sniff...*

(VRISKA): Meenah, you have to stay!

(VRISKA): I don't know what I'll do if you're gone!

(VRISKA): I...

(VRISKA): I don't have anyone else out here.

(VRISKA): I'll 8e all alone in this fucked up place.

(VRISKA): I never told you this, 8ut... it's terrifying here.

(VRISKA): It's terrifying 8eing dead, and having to live through memories forever, and dealing with the fact that nothing really means anything.

(VRISKA): It's infinite, and dark, and it's all 8eing ripped apart...

(VRISKA): And you're the only one who ever made me feel good a8out 8eing here.

(VRISKA): You're the only one who made me feel good a8out 8eing ANYWHERE.

(VRISKA): Please, don't...

(VRISKA): Meenah.

(VRISKA): *So8!*

MEENAH: euurrrgh

MEENAH: vriska

MEENAH: dam!!!

MEENAH: why...

MEENAH: whys this shit so hard?

MEENAH: not even lyin this is like the hardest shit i ever did

MEENAH: i cant even fully explain

MEENAH: its just how i think its grotto be

(VRISKA): 8ut it doesn't!

(VRISKA): You don't have to do this!

MEENAH: yeah

MEENAH: i think

MEENAH: on that point

MEENAH: we just gonna have to algae to disalgae

(VRISKA): ...

(VRISKA): I cannot...

(VRISKA): 8ELIEVE

(VRISKA): You are doing the fish pun thing while you're 8r8king up with me.

MEENAH: sorry serk

MEENAH: tis the way of my peeps

MEENAH: heres the thing

MEENAH: i dont think

MEENAH: any of that shade just thrown at ya was true

MEENAH: i like you a lot an all

MEENAH: but like

MEENAH: she has a point on one thing

MEENAH: which is

MEENAH: you changed a lot

MEENAH: not better or worse or anyfin

MEENAH: i aint squallified to make that call

MEENAH: just different

MEENAH: from the way you were when we met

MEENAH: happier i guess??

MEENAH: dunno man if you say so then yeah

MEENAH: what i see though is

MEENAH: somebody who gradually turned like

MEENAH: vulnerable as S)(-ELL

MEENAH: and that

MEENAH: is

MEENAH: scary to me

MEENAH: because

MEENAH: of

MEENAH: the way i am

MEENAH: i dont think im reely...

MEENAH: the sorta person

MEENAH: to be...

MEENAH: trusted with those kinds a feelings?

MEENAH: sea the prob is

MEENAH: you dont actually know me very well

MEENAH: nobody does

MEENAH: and the main thing about me is

MEENAH: um

MEENAH: that you gotta account for

MEENAH: or i guess

MEENAH: *i* gotta account for

MEENAH: on behalf of the feelings

MEENAH: of people i dont wanna see get hurt

MEENAH: is

MEENAH: uh

MEENAH: how do i say this

MEENAH: what you need to know is

MEENAH: like

MEENAH: ...

MEENAH: im

MEENAH: bad

[weirdo09]

i know that he’s always lying because my stepdad says that when he has an issues with me, he comes to me. he doesn’t, he goes n rats me out to my momma THEN comes to me. he loves having my momma handling me because she will traumatize me and just act like everything’s fuckin normal. she will treat me like less of a person because I FORGET but ofc he doesn’t understand that because he always leaves it to her. when i need somebody, they always leave. like prime example, he came to me talking about some crumbs, he really acts like those itty bitty crumbs makes me a slob or something. i can’t forget to do anything or just not do it right away LIKE A FUCKING DOG without getting scolded, i’m not a pet i’m not a butler i’m not a fucking caretaker so stop acting like i am

you literally love that my momma verbally abuses me when ya wanna escalate the situation by telling her. YOU MAKE EVERYTHING SUCH A BIG DEAL just to say that it isn’t when my momma already went and verbally abused me n made me cry but you did absolutely nothing. you just sit there or go to another room. don’t you dare say that i can always talk to you or that you love me because you don’t. if you did, you wouldn’t enable my mother TO BEAT ME UP when she found out on her own that i was queer and wanted to date a girl. you wouldn’t enable her to yell at me loud as can be when i don’t do something the first time but you do, you do.

don’t say that you love me and can protect me WHEN YOU CANT EVEN PROTECT ME FROM MY OWN MOTHER she’s hurt me so many times and you know what she does to me because you always say that she’s gonna be aggressive with whatever she does. SHE DOES IT BECAUSE YOU TELL HER SOMETHING AND SHE MAKES IT A BIG DEAL you love that she does that because you don’t actually love me, you just don’t. you were never a father figure to me because you can’t even act like a father to your own children.

you enable the woman in your life that you chose to be with to treat me like shit just because and you let her and expect me to just accept it because she’s my momma. no, no you just hate me being happy and not being your little dog and servant/maid. that’s all, y’all never fucking loved me and it shows. someone who loves you would never just sit there and let you be in pain, suffer alone just to say “i love you but you need to do better.” you act like that’s normal, like my momma’s supposed to beat on me n taking things away because that’s holding me accountable? (her words, not mine) no, holding me accountable would be like telling me what i’m accountable for and helping me register that and move on from it.

all y’all did was traumatize me and make me relive that every goddamn day whether you realize it or not. you don’t want me to have my own life because i’m nothing to you, i’m literally nothing but you only like me because i clean for you, i have to obey your every word and if i don’t do something the first time, my momma has to come in and yell at me because you can’t. you’re literally her enabler, if i told someone have the shit you did, y’all would be in jail and i’d be foster care. but i ain’t gonna do that because my momma made me so nice that i would actually feel a bit sad if i did ever tell someone and the chain events happened.

just know that you’re a part of my trauma, you’re a part of the reason i can’t speak any kind of way without expecting a hit, you’re the reason i can’t even be fully happy because what if the one i love the most in the whole wide world actually sees just how messed up i am and leaves me? you’re the reason i can’t bring myself to trust men older than me, you’re the reason i close my door at night, you’re the reason i’d lock it some nights (can’t now but i feel like he did something) you’re the reason i might lose the one person i care about all because you’re mad about some crumbs i left on the counter and decided to talk to my abuser about it who may or may not take my phone and beat me just because.

good job, replacement …..

[levishart]

some thoughts of mine on my evolving music taste that i wanted to ramble about

i think ive grown out of liking mitski purely because ive gotten better mentally. or, i feel less alone. i still love her music but it doesnt get me anymore. her music doesn't reach in and stroke the deepest part of me these days. rather, i can't seem to let her in. i think in a way, this shows growth. but in a strange way, i think its a minor set back.

i still need my intake of more somber music, which is why ive shifted to laufey. laufey is more for hopeless romantics, but she has happier music. and even some of her sadder songs have happier beats. its better for me mentally to be listening to more jazzy, popy stuff than gut wrenching heart breaking indie from mitski. laufey gets me though.

yes, im hopelessly in love with a fictional character and he is the one i often think about whilst listening to her songs, but im happier. he keeps me happy. and listening to music that reflects my thoughts and feelings for him helps maintain that feeling of walking on clouds that thinking of him gets me.

listening to mitski was a comfort for the times i felt shackled to the ground, but now that im up above - or at the very least free to go where i want on land, her music is just a reminder of those past times.

i never thought there'd be a time where i would stop liking her music. and that's not necessarily true, i just cant listen to her anymore. not when i have laufey to remind me of all that i have now, no matter how material and delusional it is. mitski used to get me in ways that others never could.

however now that im in a better, or at least happier place, i don't need that. what i need is music that understands where im at now, and laufey fills that role perfectly. ive let go a lot of music that used to define me, because in truth, they never were really me.

mitski, mother mother, mindless self indulgence, tally hall, marina, gorillaz, lemon demon, the living tombstone, the smiths, ricky montgomery, sir chloe, vocaloid in general - don't get me wrong, it's all good music, but listening to them makes me feel like im pretending that im somebody that im not. and i cant stand to listen to them anymore when every part of me is screaming to go elsewhere for my music.

getting into metal has made me so much better as a person, and although it is taking time and i am still new to it, i am so eager to continue this journey of self discovery. ive been gradually getting into nu metal band by band, and im really looking forward to getting into black metal next. those genres just feel like ME and have helped my self expression and confidence loads.

i did this thing to my friends where i made them give me a crap ton of artists on spotify and id listen to all their songs, but i dont even need that anymore. like, it was to help me discover new music, and ill 100% listen to them all eventually, but right now, i want to pursue what makes me the happiest.

anyways, laufey 🔛🔝 and so is metal. stream twist by korn it makes my autism happy. you not rrrh rot dot n dot n dot per rot dot n not n dot per n dot chi cot n dot rrr ah dot dot ki o ma gri a dot dot ers a pa ta ko some play to we a dot think up a bite rah sometimes you might ooh ooh rrrh we thought we might dot be mer hot something what are you ma ah do bro what are mines is dot ooh ooh rot in dot n bite ooh na na er na he woo hoo rah ate no hoo dot er ha ya dot im wer rah

side note the "he" i kept refering to is of course my sexy babe levi ackerman from attack on titan and i actually think he'd quite like SOME metal bands and this isn't self projection because i dont think he'd like everything i like but you can NOT tell me he wouldnt jam out to coming undone okay?? i also 🫶 all aot songs. openings, endings, soundtrack, it makes my chest feel happy. good music.

TLDR; i broke up with mitski and got with laufey but im also banging korn, slipknot, and soad on the side. im also madly in love with levi ackerman and this is all because of him

[chuuyansfwvent]

Nsfw vent NOT horny posting

this dude tried to add us on discord now. Lmao. The dude that only wanted to fuck around. Didnt even want a real relationship, he even had his gf give him permission to have me as his "special friend" but he would then always and MOSTLY be talkin about wanting to fuck or being in a sort of mood, or just venting to me and expecting i write concise paragraphs in response whereas when i vent hes like "idk how to help. Sorry!" I aint no special friend like that. No way in hell. The supportive friendship stuff faded the moment things started going in a certain direction. I would be totally fine if there was any like actual FRIENDSHIP effort, but ever since the flirty shit started, he only wanted to talk about that and suggestive things. Wanted to send me p*rn and shit. Like... we were goin thru some heavy traumatic shit and hes over here tryna get freaky. Dont give a damn abt ur 7 inches if u cant be a decent human being u can stay 7 states the fuck away from me man. If ya wanna try being online fwb u gotta be the friend first. It started out as a full blown platonic friendship, and then he wanted to treat us like a sidepiece without calling us a sidepiece, but then the friendship aspect died off and hes just over here talkin bout the shit he wanna do to us. Itd be a turn on if it was from somebody who actually gave a damn about us as people outside of like our body, but he wouldnt even see us as a man. Nah. The mf refer to us as "the entity" talking abt "i dont see you as anything, i see you as genderless creature of some kind." Well, im a man. Ya just dont wanna accept that ur havin fantasies abt another dude... And we even tried to talk to him abt the DID shit and he expects to change the literal identities of my headmates and like rename us and shit like??? Mmm no.

Yeah no like i aint about that. I dont settle for nothin. Im worth more than that i'll keeo my eyes open for someone who actually gaf and respect me. The dude made it seem like he and his gf were like into some polyam shit like nahhhhhhh ur not buddy. Im not ur online wh*re. I'll go be somebody else's wh*re, someone who actually deserves it. This shit? This is only available for homies who got my back as much as i got theirs. God this dude makes me so fuckin angry.

That aint all that irked me abt him but its really just too much to put here n i dont feel like it. Im just mad bruh. He literally put in so much effort just to try n get in our pants and drop all the normal friendship shit for freaky shit like NO FUCKIN WAY. How many years we known him? How many years he been putting in the effort and this is literally his only goal? Omfg. At least my last fwb from years ago still asks us how the fuck we're doing and reaches out when he can tell we're not doin well. This dude literwlly skimmed over hesvy vents after ASKING us to elaborate on whats going on lkke "please just talk to me. Tell me everything" and we tell him A FRACTION and hes like "sorry idk how to help. Anyways i been thinkin abt u all day u got me feelin things~ ;) ur so sexy i just wanna-" LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOO buddy i was LITERALLY abt to unalive bc my entire life got ripped apart in an instant but ok go jork it i guess.

[dxscmfrt]

slsdblr part 3

i feel like i should mention that these fake posts aren't necessarily canon canon and the only thing really real about them is the character dynamics. general time period (??) of these posts is within about 0-2 days after the world update

also pguy would absolutely start discourse over the most random things lmao.

0 notes

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

world update

we made it through another month !! say congratulations everyone !! with may just around the corner the snow-rainy season is ending and we will soon be entering the dry season. good luck with the weather it's about to get fucking crazy

patch notes - 30/04/2024

sol gets over their inability to name things. congratulations to everyone who got a name! i hope you're happy with what you have. sorry sleepy better luck next month

added the past

removed the past

added the past, but different

humanity is 0.63% less annoying. cant really do much at this rate sorry

added birthday updates in patch notes. i thought it would be nice.

removed herobrine

birthdays !!

08/04 - ya boi turned 18 three weeks ago. too late to say happy birthday now but you can still say it if you want.

14/04 - happy 23rd birthday to ruby!!

#world update #30/04/24 world update #slsdverse #sol's stuff and things

3,386 notes

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

WHERE'S HEROBRINE

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

i removed him

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

NO WHERE WAS HE BEFORE THE UPDATE. I NEVER SAW HIM.

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

i removed him in the update before this one

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

THEN WHY DID YOU REMOVE HIM AGAIN.

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

somebody's gotta make sure

#reblog

52 notes

🔥 ratinacage Follow

thanks sol (and everyone) for the (very late) birthday wish...

#btw i meant this in a lighthearted way hehe... no hard feelings! i get it /gen #rue.txt

343 notes

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

none of you wished me a happy birthday

#sol's stuff and things

2 notes

🎼 parachysonata Follow

you guys only remembered to wish rue a happy birthday today? pathetic. i did that just in time and even threw a whole party for her. do better.

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

OH MY GOD WE GET IT you have celebrity influence over the whole world and you two are lovebirds who love each other soooooo much you have to keep reminding everyone about it

🧵 craftswithoutarts Follow

P guy can you shut up? She probably meant it as a joke. It doesn't mean much. Piper is just commenting on how everyone forgot, and also how good of a girlfriend she is. Leave her alone let people express themselves

📘 giftedkidburnout Follow

okay normally i wouldn't be on board with pguy's tendency to fish for discourse over the most random things but he's right you know. ruby has already said that the late birthday wishes aren't a big deal, this post wasn't necessary.

🎼 parachysonata Follow

you all aren't even real friends if you can't even say happy birthday on time.

🎒 no1parachutelover Follow

see? it's not a joke, acacia. parachy if you just wanna make everyone else feel bad about themselves just quit it. youre just fishing for attention at this point

🎼 parachysonata Follow

Haha i'm sorry WHO'S fishing for attention? you're the one who decided to respond to my post with that confrontational-ass shit. i'm just making a statement. i'm not fishing for attention. tell that to sol, they're the one who keeps posting about "ohh nobody wished ME a happy birthday boo hoo" bitch nobody cares.

🔥 ratinacage Follow

piper please, i already said i didn't mind. it's not a big deal...

🧵 craftswithoutarts Follow

I take back everything I've said. Stop it. Don't bring Rice into this, you're lucky they muted tumblr notifs otherwise I pray for the well being of your ass

📘 giftedkidburnout Follow

@solarisricefield

🧵 craftswithoutarts Follow

Anemone no

☀️ solarisricefield Follow

.

🐟 fishfinderrr Follow

🎣 FISH FOUND!

There are 4 FISH in this post!

🧵 craftswithoutarts Follow

SANDY

87,246 notes

[theillest-tarot1]

Air Signs | Your Partner 😳😵‍💫

Okay, I Am Just The Messenger Do Not Fight Me Please 😭🙏🏾 This Person Is In This Ten Of Swords Energy , This Person Has Just Been Defeated In A Situation It Caused The Pain & Agony 😣 This Person Has A New Understanding On Something Or Someone. This Is The End Of A Difficult Matter For Them. Something Has Been Irrevocably Lost. The Outcome Is Something This Person Did Not Want But They Have To Put The Past Behind Them In Order To Move On To The Next Stage In Their Lives , Lessons Have Been Learned & They Will Move On With A New Understanding Of Themselves & Fresh Perspective 🙏🏾 This Person Got The Lovers Card , This Person Had To Make A Decision (That’s Why They Were Defeated In A Situation) This Person Is In Their Seven Of Wands Energy & Now Has The Upper Hand In The Situation ⚡️This Person Has To Play Fair In Order To Keep Control Over This Situation. Keep Applying Force ! (Ohh Air Signs Somebody Taking Control Back You Must’ve Been A Bully In This Relationship) This Person Is Learning How To Defend Themselves Good For Them ! This Is Going To Make Them Stronger & More Successful In The Long Run. This Person Is In Theo Knight Of Wands Energy As Well , This Person Is In Their Knight Of Wands Energy , Being A Risk Taker At The Moment, Seeking A New Direction In Life: This Person Can Be A Hot Head 🤯🤬 & May Rush To Conclusions, They Are Also A Player And The Knight Of Wands Is Indicating That The New Direction This Person Is Going Into Is Going To Involve Some Sex 💦😵‍💫 (Oh Wow) This Person Got The Two Of Cups Indicating That They Are Sharing A Mutual Bond With Someone At The Moment This Meaning A Mutual Attraction ! (Cause If It’s Sex They Wanna Have It’s More Than A Mutual Friendship Ya Don't Be Delusional) This Person Is In Their King Of Swords Energy: They Are Thinking Logical , Intelligent, Sharp & With A Clear Head. This Person Is Encouraging Reform & Change In A Way & Is Also An Excellent Judge At Diffusing Situations👨🏾‍⚖️ This Person Has A Queen Of Wands In Their Life; A Wise Woman Who Is Strong, Intuitive, Creative & Courageous. This Woman Knows What She Wants And How To Get It ! She Also Makes A Great Hostess That Is Very Generous With Her Gifts 🎁 This Person Is In This Six Of Wands Energy Indicating That There Was Recognition In Their Situation: Their Problems Have Been Dealt With & A Matter Is On The Way Of Being Successfully Resolved! This Person Has Support From Their Friends & Family ! They Need To Stay True To Their Original Vision & Goals At The Time (Sorry Air Signs This Actually Sounds Like A Person Is Leaving You For Good You Must’ve Damaged Them In A Way They Cant Forgive 🫤🤯) Good News Is On The Way To This Person. Relationships Are About To Take A Turn For The Better 🙏🏾 Spirits Are Saying Don’t Give Up On What You Believe In! Oh There’s A Twin Flame/Soulmate Match This Person Is Leaving You To Be With Their Soul Connection 😨😮 This Person Is In The Queen Of Swords Energy At The Moment : A Strong Minded Woman With Great Intelligence, Cool Exterior. This Woman Is Always Kind To People But May Come Off Stern When She Has To Be. She Argues Her Opinion With A Clear Head 🙏🏾 & She Is Not Afraid To Fight For Her Principle If Her Duties Require It. This Person Has To Make A Choice In This Two Of Swords Energy Indicating That This Person Needs To Make A Stalemate Decision This Is Telling Me Someone Is Not Going To Walk Away From This Happy Air Signs It May Be You 🫤 Sorry Guys This A lot I’ll Give You Some Advice 😭 After This Choice Is Made This Person Will Step Into Their King Of Pentacles Energy: Indicating Being A Fair, Sensible , Honest , Humble , Traditional & Self Reliant Provider They Are. This Person Has Been Working Hard & Has Been Achieving Great Success! Congratulations To Them 🌟

[nyelaexe]

hmmmm sad hours. eren really did just wanna live his life with mikasa and his friends im sad now.

[beaversatemygrandma]

today might be a good time to bring this up, because living during a major historical event in a regular dystopia somehow inspires me to write out a similarly stressful dystopia that’s just a bit worse to make me feel as if this one is fine.  It’s not.  But yeah.  anywho after spending most of this year revamping this story i wrote in high school to be actually worth reading, i’m starting to play with the idea that the start of the story could just be a darker storyline of 2020 and the next like five years. And somehow not mention trump once.  I think im going to do it. Back when i was writing it was 2015, so modernizing a bit after the past four years would be super beneficial. Imagine a weird 1984/walking dead version of the US. That’s it. But its 2020 and the end of capitalism as we know it. (The original start date was like 2018, which was still ‘the future’ back then.) Gonna ramble about it under the cut. Hmu if you would be interested in reading any of it. It’s got an openly bi protagonist which ik everybody needs to see more of.

so as i said, it used to start in 2018. Bombs went down on poorer, older, or less plentiful towns and the top 1% (ie trump and those rich people not wanting to give up their massive hoard of money to taxes) move to the western coast, creating their own new country entirely blocked off from the rest of the world via a huge wall and controlling what the poor sees. The poor is literally everybody but the leaders in that new country. The rich keeps them under control with constant surveillance (think alexa but with cameras staring right at you). That’s the West Nation (probably a stupid name ik we’re still in the first drafts okay). 

The other various leaders and top 1% who opposed that authoritarian state created their own. It consists of Texas and most of the deep south. It’s a more modern state that isn’t blocked off from the rest of the world, but it’s basically USA2 electric boogaloo. We don’t talk of them much. That country acts as if the rest of the war going on started by the WN isn’t their problem and keeps to themselves just ignoring the massive war crimes being committed just two states north. That’s the Texas Union. Self explanatory. 

And the rest of the population you ask? Where are they? Well if they weren’t sucked into either of those countries, they’re likely killed by the previously mentioned WN war crimes or part of the last living people in the ‘old territory’. The old territory is literally just the north east. It’s been a part of the us since it started and therefore everything there was old and useless. The WN blew it up first thing. They got their money and ‘important people’ out of there and just killed the rest for existing and not having an absurd amount of money. Less than 50k people survived that. Whether it was a literal fluke they survived or if they just so happened to have a warning to get somewhere safe, the few survivors are most likely part of a group calling themselves the Risers. The Risers are the people attempting to fight back against the WN.  The WN literally just wants them dead and out of the way so they can slowly take over the eastern coast as well. They also don’t want the Risers to enter their walls because that might make their peasants think and in turn revolt. 

There are also some people who managed to survived in unclaimed territory. They aren’t forgotten about. Every country sends their military groups out into the nothing to recruit these people. Mostly because the unclaimed territory is taken over by these irradiated people and animals (WN bombs are very bad okay, not only is there radiation but they like to burn things by speeding up erosion of the ozone too... there’s a lot to it and i dont want to spoil it though). Nobody wants to be around these zombie-like things. The recruiters are the only way most of the outsiders can survive. Very few actually last long. These people are the Unmarked. (Each group/country has a marking to tell people apart. Started by the WN’s barcode tattoo on its citizens that organizes them and is able to be used like a ID, debit card, and even to gain access to certain spaces. The Risers and TU only followed after realizing that the marks helped when in unclaimed territory.) 

Alright, now onto the actual story and not how this world works. So, what i was thinking in terms of moving the first wave of bombs to 2020 (instead of 2018 like i did in 2015).  With how much money the now trillionaires made after the virus swept through the country, they wanted their own country to prevent themselves from being taxed. (Think about how somebody mentioned that Texas should secede this year. It’s hinting at that.) With this new country, they control it themselves and keep the poor people they gathered into their walls working for them while living in poverty. Sounds painfully possible, right? It would work as a darker timeline version of 2020. I’d just have to incorporate covid (or something fictional so its just vaguely hinting at what everybody knows it is) and show how the country is already a little ‘off’ before the actual bombs go down, starting the story. Spooky but interesting, right? 

Now, our protagonist, a small town boy from Montana. That area was given a warning, it was a populous enough town to receive one during the first hit. Sadly, they got it barely too late. They shut down communications just a little too soon there so everybody was getting emergency alerts on their phones as the town was exploding outside. Not the best situation honestly.  Well, the protag and the main group of characters during the first part of the story are all seniors in high school. 18 and two weeks away from graduating. It’s the year of 2020 and school was already fucky enough for them, then during the one extra curricular they have left, bombs go down. (might not incorporate covid tbh because the whole beginning kinda is surrounded by being inside these places with other people... second thoughts here) They miraculously survive. These three friends are now stuck inside a building somehow strong enough to keep them safe.  Eventually, they meet people from the new WN that showed up after literally being the final few people left in town. The main characters go through literal hell, a nuclear winter, two deaths, and seeing the whole country fall into a state of chaos and terror. Then they get taken into the WN, by force at that. The WN has this special chip they give to every citizen. It’s basically a memory altering computer. But not all systems are perfect.  The protag will actually meet a Riser who is capable of entering the WN discreetly and get pulled into the revolution against the WN. 

The best part of all this is that is very character focused. 90% of this is just how these people get through their own terrifying versions of the trauma caused by the WN doing what they’re doing. (Have you ever heard that in order to write a good story is to put your characters through hell? I did and it does wonders for development.) It’s definitely a lgbt book. The protag actually figures out he’s bi due to a homoerotic friendship in the beginning. (Friends to lovers trope, it was fun tbh) It doesn’t last long (im sorry) and is honestly part of the massive trauma the main character goes through (seriously im sorry it gets better i promise, its for character development i swear)  BTW he’s not a bi character who is restricted to one gender or ‘turns straight or gay’ or some bs like that. Us bisexuals need some rep, okay. There’s a couple more relationships (the story takes place over like six or seven years im still struggling to figure out how to end it tbh).The other characters are pretty diverse as well, i swear its not just one bi white boy. There’s a good amount more. It just takes a little time for them to show up, but i promise they are some great people. (for example, there is a gay trans man who is somehow an extension of myself that i didn’t know i had. And i fucking love him. He just doesn’t get introduced for like 200 pages.)  There is also a lot of internal struggles the characters go through (who wouldn’t go through all that without coming out with some mental illness. It was traumatic.) There are mentions of addictions and such, the protag himself goes through a bout of alcoholism, it’s rough. (its when he’s 20-ish so nowhere near the beginning) There’s also a HUGE found family trope in the second part. The Risers are a big part of that one. The main characters within the group have to be my favorites of the whole story tbh. All of them are 18 to 29 year olds who just grouped together after losing everything they’ve known. They just become their own strange family in their wasteland of a home.  

Anyways, before i get carried away talking about this and sharing the entire plot, I’ll stop.  If you’re interested in seeing any of this just like this post. Say something if you’d want to read it though (just need to find a good place to post. Wattpad maybe? Is that site still going? I don’t want to go back to dA.)  There’s like 500+ pages rn that I’ve been adding to and editing for so dang long and i want to get it out there.  Tell me if you’d want to read this dystopian/18+ coming of age story. (because coming of age stories shouldn’t just be 16yos in adult situations like hollywood likes because those are gross) I think it’s got some potential, i just have to find others who like this sort of story. 

Soon I’m going to go through the intro and start editing this 2020 version instead of the 2018 version. (its gonna make the protag be born in 2002 and that is baffling me rn)  I just want to start posting somewhere soon or even go big and try for publishing (that would be a lot further in but yeah. If i could create yet another dystopian trilogy, I’d be ecstatic okay) 

If you’re a mutual of mine and you like this idea, hmu and I’ll totally send you a draft via email to read. I’d LOVE to have somebody to give me their opinion of it so far. So if you’re open to spending a bit of time during your tenth month in quarantine reading something like this, tell me. :DD  (ik i’m not the only one around here with a thing for dystopian stories) 

[pesterloglog]

Dave Strider, Roxy Lalonde, Karkat Vantas

Page 387-391

DAVE: now you know i like to deflect as much as the next person

DAVE: but ive had mad substantial character development in the last few minutes

DAVE: so maybe im willing to entertain the notion that i may be in the wrong here

ROXY: o damn fr?

DAVE: no ive never been wrong in my entire life

DAVE: but if its important to you i can rein it in

DAVE: practically a saint

DAVE: even though the only religions that really existed on the new earth we made was fucked up clown catholicism and sixty-nine troll jesus

DAVE: cant really call the pope and ask to be sainted like back on real earth

ROXY: could u rly

DAVE: yeah thats how it worked

ROXY: i dont believe u but i dont know enough about religion to argue

DAVE: its ok im making most of it up

DAVE: the only god i know is the god of rhymes

DAVE: incase that wasnt clear im the god of rhymes

DAVE: its me

ROXY: i thought u were a god of times

DAVE: amateur mistake

DAVE: the letters are right next to each other

DAVE: even then its not like im using the time stuff much anymore

DAVE: not since...

DAVE: ...

ROXY: i saw u use ur time powers earlier today to make a banana less brown

DAVE: i have explained this over and over

DAVE: you need to eat the banana before it goes bad

ROXY: its not bad just ripe

DAVE: this is fucking outrageous

ROXY: maybe if u stopped slicing fruit with ur sword all the time u might understand

ROXY: the subtle intricacies

ROXY: of fruit science

DAVE: is fruit science just going apeshit on a practically moldy banana

ROXY: lmao

DAVE: dont "luhmayo" me

ROXY: lol

DAVE: like i got time to be lectured by somebody who says "lole"

DAVE: barbaric

DAVE: i come from a more civilized era

DAVE: i drink my scotch as i sit before the mantle

DAVE: having just returned from the hunt

DAVE: a fire in the hearth dwindling down just so

DAVE: ah yes roxy old bean jolly good

DAVE: i hold my pinky out as i take a sip from my chalice because im not a fucking animal

DAVE: you make some sort of unbelievable jest and i say ell oh ell like a real person

ROXY: ok jake english

DAVE: this is the most heinous thing youve ever said to me

ROXY: theres somethin i gotta ask

ROXY: bout u kno who

DAVE: voldemort

ROXY: no

DAVE: is it voldemort

ROXY: its not voldemort

DAVE: you havent mentioned wizards once this conversation so im gonna have to assume its voldemort

ROXY: its about

ROXY: you know

ROXY: dirk

DAVE: ok shoot

ROXY: what do we do

DAVE: what do you mean

ROXY: u know when we catch up

ROXY: what r we gonna do

DAVE: maybe

DAVE: this whole thing is kinda bullshit and we are adults capable of being the people we need to be at the time it is appropriate to be that person

ROXY: what do u mean

DAVE: ok so theres this flower

ROXY: omg not u too with the flower

ROXY: i heard this story like five times

DAVE: oh ok

DAVE: but you get it right

DAVE: the story is what you make it

DAVE: and in that case maybe we are assigning this cosmic importance to things that dont need metatextual meaning

ROXY: i rly dont think thats the point of the story tbh

DAVE: then what do you think it means

ROXY: broson im sayin this with the utmost respect for u

ROXY: its not that deep

ROXY: its just a story

DAVE: then what about this

DAVE: do you think dirks right

DAVE: are we just a story that needs a villain

DAVE: are we heroes rescuing a damsel in distress

DAVE: or are we just people doing things that feel right at the time

ROXY: ya maybe this is just our arc

DAVE: i dont think life is just a series of arcs

ROXY: well to be fair

ROXY: our lives have just been a series of arcs

ROXY: and we r basically rushin off to save a damsel

ROXY: tho dont tell her i said that lmao

ROXY: ofc i want everyone to sort it out

ROXY: hunky dory

DAVE: but thats not what youre asking

ROXY: but thats not what im askin

ROXY: what i wanna know is

ROXY: do u think u can kill him

ROXY: if it comes to it

DAVE: i-

KARKAT: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

ROXY: wtf was that

DAVE: he probably found one of callies little gifts

DAVE: been seein a lot more of them lately which debunks his leading theory that theyve been livin in the vents

ROXY: what

DAVE: i cant believe he never told you

DAVE: its all he talks about

DAVE: i told him it was kinda nuts but

DAVE: you know how he can get

ROXY: well i think since jades regular now

ROXY: callies felt more comfortable being up and around

ROXY: before they were just in the room nesting snug as a bug in a rug

DAVE: nesting

ROXY: ya like a bug in a rug what is there to not get lmao

DAVE: well they keep leaving karkat little piles of meat

DAVE: like a cat

ROXY: damb thats adorbs

DAVE: in his shoes

DAVE: at the foot of the bed

DAVE: hes convinced its to dunk on him in some way

DAVE: but thats just karkat being karkat

ROXY: but in the vents tho

DAVE: yeah i dont know man

DAVE: hes obsessed with it

DAVE: for once in his life he doesnt want to talk about it

DAVE: guess well never know