#Call of duty incorrect quotes

[saturncodedstarlette]

[Adventures with witch!Y/N & familiar demon!Ghost]

Demon!Ghost : Are you fighting the urge to make out with me right now? 😏

Witch!Y/N, eating : Not really (big lie)

Witch!Y/N : I’m really into this pizza though, oh they burnt my fucking cookie! Assholes... 😤

[ch0c0d3v]

Gaz, wearing a almost perfect wig: Welcome to Femboy Hooters, where our prices are small and our cocks are huge, what can i get for you?

Price: ...

Ghost: ...

Soap: I'll have a burger

Gaz: Sir we don't sell burgers here.

Soap: What do you mean you don't sell burgers!?

Price: That's the thing you are most concerned about?

[silelda]

Price: No, you are a baby.

Graves: NO! I am not!

Price: Correct. You are right. You are a child.

Graves: I'M A MAN!

[witchthewriter]

Gaz: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Soap: Weak. I sleep with a gun.

Y/N: You’re both pathetic

Soap: What do YOU sleep with?

Y/N: Simon.

[ragingbookdragon]

Laswell: This is the team I want you to be a medic for.

Y/N: This hellish nightmare of a squad?

Laswell: They’re not that bad.

Y/N: I have a twenty-seven year old who has an inferiority complex because he’s the youngest man here, a Scotsman who likes to have constant pissing matches that end with him speaking a language no one understands, a living Halloween decoration with so many issues I would be here for hours explaining them, I have nothing negative to say about Farah and Alex, and a grumpy old man who thinks he’s a DILF but I don’t really think he inherently knows what qualifies being a DILF but I don’t have the heart to tell him.

Laswell: Well…Farah and Alex are wonderful.

[isabella-kr]

Reader: *struggling to open a jar*

Ghost: *watches from afar, but says nothing*

Reader: Would you open for fucks-

Reader: *gives up and walks over to Ghost, silently holding the jar out to him*

Ghost: *opens the jar with no trouble*

Reader: …

Ghost: …

Reader: I loosened it

Ghost: Of course

Reader: You wouldn’t have been able to open it without my help

Ghost: Didn’t think otherwise

Reader: That’s what I thought…

[lovifie]

Soap: Ghost, do you love me like a brother?

Ghost, sighing: I love you like a stepfather loves his autistic child.

Soap: ...

Ghost: Not because be has to... But because the government pays me to.

Soap:

Ghost:

Soap, voice cracking: The government is paying you?

Ghost: Not enough.

Soap: :(

I'm sorry I saw a tiktok and it was literally them

[spidergutz-writes]

When GN!Y/N gets confident

ghost: bloody hell, your so short. Y/N: then put some inches in me big boy. ghost: what Y/n: what

[sant-riley]

(Y/N), throwing their head into Ghost's lap: Tell me I'm pretty!

Ghost, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are.

[hunterbunter3000]

Laswell: You do know that you have everyone wrapped around your fingers, right?

141 Sweetheart: What?? Laswell, what're you talkin' about?

Laswell, looking at her stupid: The boys. The Capitan. König, Horangi- which was a surprise- Alejandro, Rudy-- hell, even Graves and Alex. They're all heavily whipped for you.

141 Sweetheart, laughing: Woah what?! Now that's just crazy talk.

Laswell:

Laswell explaining to her how the boys look at her, how Price let's her wear his hat constantly, how König follows her everywhere like a puppy, how Alejandro and Graves give her presents every week, how Horangi and Rodolfo write her poetry and become straight up messes when talking to her, and how Alex literally KNEELED before her:

Laswell walking over to the door and opening it, revealing all the boys eavesdropping on them:

Them scampering away quickly:

141 Sweetheart: ...That still don't prove--

Laswell: It proves everything.

[saturncodedstarlette]

[Adventures with witch!Y/N & familiar demon!Ghost P.2]

Demon!Ghost : Witch

Demon!Ghost : Witch I need to see you today

Demon!Ghost : Witch

Demon!Ghost : oh almighty, fearsome castings witch

Witch!Y/N, doing groceries : Ghost what 😐

Demon!Ghost : My cauldron is calling for its witch 😔

Witch!Y/N : I literally just left the house like— 5 minutes ago, you’re more clingy than usual. Is it because you’re nearing your… “heat season”?

Demon!Ghost : Yeaaah..

[sleepyconfusedpotato]

Alex : Heard you died in a tank in South America.

Graves : What else you heard?

Alex : ...

Farah : ...

Alex : That you're a son of a bitch.

Farah : That you're a massive cunt, to quote Kyle.

Alex : Ghost has a throwing knife target practice with your face on it.

Farah : The captain told me to never trust a smug looking bastard.

Alex : And that you're a genocidal maniac so that's wHaT elSe i hEaRD.

[fottitimioamore]

Price: Why were you up yesterday until 3am?

Gaz: How did you know I was up until 3am?

Ghost: We could hear you clapping to the FRIENDS intro every 25 minutes.

[harveywritings92]

[The 1-4-1 are making their way back to their base camp during a blizzard, Ghost is carrying R/n on his back. ]

Gaz, to no one in particular: *tired* how much further till we get back to the base?

Ghost: I don't know. I'm not sure how much longer I can carry R/n for.

[Gaz and Price stop walking look at each other than at Ghost confused.]

Price: R/n has been walking with Roach this entire time.

[Ghost turns around and sees that, yes, R/n is indeed behind him walking with Roach.]

Ghost: Then who the hell is this?!

[Gaz reaches up and pulls the hood off the person’s head to reveal Soap.]

Soap: What? I'll pay you.

[Ghost grimaces drops Soap and keeps walking.]

[ragingbookdragon]

Y/N: He said he likes to play catch so I asked him if he wants to catch these hands. He said yes, so I fucking hit him. What is the problem???

Ghost: You hit a general of the United States Army in front of the United States President and the Queen of England. How do you not see the problem?

Y/N: Is it because I assaulted him in front of two world leaders?

Ghost: YES IT’S BECAUSE—

[lovifie]

Gaz: I'm glad I'm in the 141 task force. Imagine being in the battlefield and coming against Soap and Ghost.

Reader: I could take them both.

Gaz: ...

Reader: ...

Gaz, slightly concerned: like... in a fight?

Reader: ...

Gaz: in a fight, right?

Reader: