#Can't turn a hoe into a house wife

[prettypinkporkchop]

Embry call x fem reader

Genre: romance, comedy

Houseful of wolves

You yawn and stretch, sitting up in the bed. You look over at Embry, who is still sleeping. You lean down and give a quick kiss on his cheek. You stand up and step into the kitchen.

You see Jared, Quil, Paul, Kim, and Rachel lying together in the living room. You smile and shake your head. You absolutely love the pack. Right now, they're staying with you and Embry because you guys just got your new house. Sam said that it's Emily time for him, so to just stay here and bug you two. They actually did.

A loud alarm sound blares in the living room. Everyone groans and sits up. Paul throws a pillow at Quil, who is still sleeping. "Bro, turn that shit off."

You start laughing, and they turn to you mumbling 'good mornings.' Embry walks in, scratching the back of his neck. He walks to you and plants a kiss on your lips. His morning voice sounds like music to your ears as he says, "Morning, beautiful." You could melt.

You wrap your arms around his waist and hold tightly onto him. He starts chuckling and runs his hand through your hair. "Clingy day?" He asks. You nod against his chest. You just want to be in his skin today.

Soon, everyone starts moving around, getting food, and showering. You and Embry are chilling on the porch, drinking coffee. "Hey!'' You glare at him when he pulls his hand away from your thigh. You grab it and put it back in place. He bursts into laughter. "Babes, I just wanted to check the time on my phone." You lean into his side. "I want you." You mumble. He knew what you meant by that. It wasn't in the sexual way. He kisses the top of your head. "You'll always have me." You lean up and kiss his lips. He kisses you back, and then the door flies open. It's Quil. He burps very loudly and then rubs his stomach. "Y/n, them leftovers were amazing. Embry's lucky. He's got a chef." He smiles. "Yeah, I am lucky. Too bad so sad for you." Embry laughs and jokes. Quil puts his weight on one leg and points a finger at him. "You, sir, are a handsome prick." Embry mocks him in a silly voice, copying him. "Now, go back inside. I'm trying to kiss my wife." Embry flips him off. You turn to look at him and the front door shuts behind you.

"Wife?" You ask and smile widely. Your heart can't contain it. "If you wanted to, I'd marry you right now." He grabs your chin and plants kisses on your lips. "You know I'm a sucker for you. I live on my knees to worship you, Embry."

"You're the only person in the world I care about." He says, looking into your eyes.

After sitting for a moment, you hear banging inside. You and Embry jump up and walk in to see Paul holding Jared down. "Don't piss me off!" Paul yells. Jared groans and fights back, pushing him on the couch. "It was one bite, Paul!" You look at the group to see everyone has dug into the cereal. "I guess it's a cereal morning!" You giggle. "Guys, cut it out!" Embry walks to them.

You go to the fridge to take out the milk. Huh? The box of cereal is in there. Where's the milk? You open the cabinet to see the milk.

"WHOOOOO put the MILK in the CABINET?!" You called out. Everyone gets quiet.

"I wasn't the last one to get a bowl." Kim points out. Everyone starts pointing fingers at each other. "Which one of you hoes did this?!" You keep pointing at the milk that is sitting next to the cans and boxes. They start bickering back and forth. "WHOOOO DID THIS?" You yell. "Was it you?" You point to Quil. He lifted his hands up in defense. "I don't know. Maybe?" He says. "But you just said you didn't. So it was you?" Your hand still pointing at the milk. "I might've." He side eyes everyone. "C'mon, bro. It's not that deep. Just put it in the fridge." Quil laughs. "You're a dumbass." Jared slaps the back of his head. You're too stunned to speak. You just stand there staring blankly at the dude.

A/n: this is based on a very old

[bisexualr2d2]

you can't turn a hoe into a housewife but you can turn House into a hoe-wife.

[jiminiepabo]

BTS As Your Best Friends

I was feeling inspired by my BTS As Your Boyfriend series, and I wanted to give yall a cute little friend moment! 💕

Comtains: Fluff, that's about it lmao

This is only with the maknaes, but the others will come soon!

°+~♡~+°

Jungkook-

THIS MAN....

Devious asf 💀💅

He actually will not shut his fucking mouth, bro will call you up at 4 in the morning to talk to you about how his day went

Lowkey invites himself to your place unapologetically

Very juvenile, in a good way. Like sleepovers with snacks and movies and pillow forts

THE GOSSIP KING 👑

And he will fill you in on all the bangtan tea

He's the type to make pinky promises not to tell after he talks hella shit abt someone 💀

Not that he talks hella shit that much, but the occasion that it happens, expect a lot to come out of his mouth.

Very good listener tho, if you actually have an issue, he's gonna be there for you

Definitely tells you way too much about his dating life...

He also falls asleep on you, so get used to it. he's an affectionate bitch, what can he say? And with all the sleepovers yall are having, he can't help it

Okay but tell me why I think he'd love playing hair salon with you 👀

One of his downsides as a friend is that he's a fucking celebrity and has a shit ton of other people to interact with and other places to go

So don't expect too much from the poor guy, he's got a lot on his plate.

Recently we found out that he vapes, so he for sure needs a vape buddy

ALSO

He is SO GOOD at dating advice

Whoever you're into, he will be right there planning your wedding on a pinterest board.

Expect lots of singing in the car

In all, jaykay is fucking hyper but he's a great bestie to have

Taehyung-

Tae is your deep ass convo kinda guy

Like yeah, he's fun asf, but damn he's just built to talk about deep shit with you

If any of these friendships are likely to turn into relationships, it's gonna be with Tae

He just loves love 😭

And honestly, as he should

And I'm not saying that you return the feelings, but you are the one reading a Bts imagine on tumblr... 🤷‍♀️

Besides the fact that he lowkey has a crush on you, you'll probably be at his house more than your own

I can see him just talking and talking for hours on end with his bestie while you chill on the couch with a TV show playing in the background

Probably has a cute nickname for you

Like if you're short, he calls you shorty. And if your cute, he calls you cutie.

IDK MAN IM BAD AT THIS 💀💀💀

But he'll come up with something cute

Your contact name in his phone will probably be something along the lines of "my wife" or "wifey"

Or smth stupid like that just bc he likes you 💀

And he won't tell anyone either, he just unironically talks about you all the time, nothing suspicious 👀

Expect chaos when he's drunk tho

He goes WILD

It's fun though, seeing him being smiley and not contemplating the complexities of life to you

Your man is weird asf but you gotta love him

Jimin-

Someone needs to calm him down and give him a massage or smth

Because when I tell you...

JIMIN IS THE FLIRTIEST HOE EVER

He doesn't even like you, it's just jimin being jimin

Very sweet tho 🥺

He seems kinda awkward about giving advice bc he doesn't know exactly what to say, but he'll listen really good

Also, no offense to jimin, but he's a mess.

He's so caring that he likes someone new every other day istg

And he'll tell you all about it and it's the cutest thing ever watching him have so much love for so many people

May or may not have mid-life crises during the night and come over to drink alcohol and pour his heart out to you

He's a people pleaser so be a good friend and encourage him or compliment him a lot

He will most likely flirt with you in return but it secretly makes him feel reassured so just take one for the team

Probably will give you fashion advice tbh

And he's an icon so you let him do his thing

I think he'd like doing things like drawing or painting or dancing as an activity with you

Like it's fun to do, but it's quiet enough for him to talk about his problems

This is so sad but I feel like he projects a very happy image but he doesn't always feel it inside

He may struggle with self image and dependence on others

So he needs you to be his anchor to hold him down and tell him he'll be alright

And he'll do the same for you, don't worry.

°+~♡~+°

Hope you enjoyed! The hyung line version is coming soon! 💕

My requests are open 😘

[partlystiles]

Hey uhh. Can you make a part 2 of Barty and reader talking about their dads but this time they meet in the future and hoe reader died? I sort of need some angst

PT 1

barty crouch jr x fem!reader

summary: a run-in with a relative of someone from his past makes Barty's head turn.

Warnings: swearing, use of alcohol, mentions of death.

sorry it's been a while!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My dearest Barty,

Enclosed in this letter is an Occamy feather for you! You better like it because I nearly died getting it for you, I had to resort to the mating dance and screeching loudly so it wouldn't attack. They are very aggressive and protective over their eggs, just like I knew but I can't believe I managed to tame one.

Of course I didn't manage to get an egg, but I have a drawing of it in my case that I will bring back to you and tell you all about.

India is so much fun! I've learned Bollywood dancing, visited a lot of the temples, trekked in the Himalayans to get to the Occamy of course. I even came during Diwali and everything is so beautiful!

I wish you were here with me. You'd love the dancing, even if you think you wouldn't, I know it. I'll be home soon, happily back with you. Little Elijah or Eleanor, whichever one it is, has been kicking for their daddy. Misses you almost as much as I do.

I know you had your doubts about me going to India whilst five months pregnant but I've run into no trouble whatsoever, just a little kick here and there but you were there for the first one. It should be about 4 more days until I'm back and I'm so excited!

I'm hoping that everything is okay back home. I know there's been more recent disappearances, even Regulus Black. Poor boy. He was so nice to me, I can't imagine how his brother is feeling. As long as you're safe then I'm happy, very happy.

Four months until our baby comes into the world!

Boat is boarding soon, so I'll go post this letter now. I love you so much! See you soon.

Y/N x

Bartemius Crouch read the letter over and over again. And then again. Until he felt numb inside, numb all over until somebody had to physically force him out of his chair, let alone out of his house. His heart was shattered, crawling back together to try and attach itself again, but it didn't work. Everything just crumpled again, crumpled like the letter in Barty's hand that was stained with blood, tears and sweat.

Multiple times it had been fished out of the garbage, multiple times he had tried to smooth all of the wrinkles back out of the paper so he could read it one more time. Multiple times he had been on the verge of incinerating every inky last word...but he never did. Because he could never ever get rid of her, the thought of her, the knowledge of her. Her and his baby who was never ever birthed.

Little Elijah or Eleanor never met their daddy and their daddy never got to look into the eyes of his child and softly rock them from side to side whilst singing them to sleep. It was a loss greater than anything, but nothing will ever be greater than the loss of his wife. His sun, his moon, his eclipse. Without her, his nights were darkened, his days were lost and Bartemius Crouch Junior withered away in his grand house, wishing his love was still in his arms.

However, a knock at the door interrupted his nightmare of a daydream. A grunt escaped his lips at the sound of it, his hand's grip on his glass of alcohol tightening at the rim as his other hand wiped at his spiked stubble around his chin in an uninterested gleam.

"Go away." Barty raised his voice a little, stumbling up from his dishevelled armchair and letting the rest of the letter from his wife's travel that sat on his lap fall to the wooden floor below him. "No one's home."

As he tried to stumble away again, tipping the last of the alcohol down his throat, he heard his door open anyway. Despite the obvious want of not having someone with him at that current time, he could hear footsteps behind him, entering the grand room with an air of purpose and especially an air of arrogance.

"I said GO AWAY." Barty swivelled around, chucking his glass at the doorway that the person was stood in. They didn't flinch at all, but the glass smashed above the archway and the shattered pieces fell down to the floor. "Fucking...fuckin bitch. Fuckin leave."

"Mr. Crouch, please." The man in the doorway removed his hat from his head, holding it in front of him as he watched the broken man trip around his drawing room, walking to his fireplace. "I'm here to talk about my daughter. I believe you knew her. Her name was Y/N."

At once, Barty paused in his place beside the fireplace, his hand grappled on the mantelpiece as his eyes narrowed into fierce slits at the mention of the name. The man grunted drunkenly again, shaking his head as his hands slapped against the mantelpiece multiple times before he decided to hit his head instead.

"Don't..." He drawled, his voice like gravel scraping against his vocal chords before he looked at the man in the doorway. The man had a shadow cast over his face but the firelight highlighting his nose told Barty that he was a spitting image of his dear Y/N. "Don't act like you fuckin' cared about...about her. I know what you did."

"I-I didn't do anything. My girl ran away when she was 17...I've been trying to find her for years. They led me here."

"Well, you're about a year too late, old man." Barty chuckled darkly, pushing himself away from the fireplace to swipe his bottle of alcohol off of his coffee table, pouring a hefty bit into a new glass. "She's dead."

"I was afraid of that." The man sighed, shaking his head and Barty downed about half of his drink before squinting and facing the man again. This time with more suspicion as he began to wring his hat in his hands. "She always was reckless. Running off, wanting to explore the world when I had a perfectly good job lined up for her at the ministry."

"Maybe she didn't want to be a fucking brainless clone." Barty spat, placing his glass down on the table before running his hands through his growing hair and over his face disappointedly. "And why the hell did it take you five fucking years to go looking for her? Ask anyone, it would've led you to me. You wanna fucking know why?"

"I don't-"

"I was the one who convinced her to run away." He whispered comically, pointing to himself with a crazed laugh as his lover's father straightened up a little at the amusement Barty was taking. "Right after I put a ring on her finger, we ran all the way to fucking Glasglow and got married in a stable. How's that for your precious little girl?"

"You drove my daughter away from me!" The man walked towards Barty, who picked up his glass and downed the rest of the alcohol before turning until he was chest to chest with the man. "She could've had a great life. A great job with a great salary and a great husband with a son and a daughter. You took that from her?"

"You drove her away from you yourself!" Barty stumbled more, but poked a finger onto the man's chest anyway, eyeing his own wand on the table just metres away. "It was her dream to travel the world and that's exactly what I...what I let her do, what I encouraged her to do. She was fucking happy, fuckin' joyful. With me. With my child inside of her. But of course you and your fucking ministry can't leave a man alone for two seconds-"

"You see, she was coming home from India, 5 months pregnant with my baby- and she- and she, she was on the same boat as another Death Eater. I didn't even know the guy that well. You ministry Aurors showed up, and she was caught in the crossfire. She died. My baby died. My whole life was ripped away from me because of YOU. YOU AND YOUR FUCKING- YOU'RE FUCKING..."

"Spit it out, son." The ministry worker said, stepping back from the boy as Barty reached into his pocket and yanked out her goodbye letter, crumpling it again in his hand before he looked back at the man, quivering with rage.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE. GO." He shoved his hands out, hitting the man away from him, but the elder one didn't even budge as Barty's weak drunken form pushed and pushed at the body. "GET OUT. SHE WOULDN'T WANT YOU HERE. LEAVE. Fuckin-"

Bartemius reached his hand out, bending down in his pause from slapping his late wife's father to walk over to the coffee table where his wand sat. He picked up his wand, pointing it at the man in front of him who now did stumble backwards at the sight of the crazed man threatening him with his wand. Although it seemed as though Barty couldn't get a clear shot.

"Avada Kedavra." A blinding flash of light and a thud reverberated around the room as Barty was left alone, stumbling again though he didn't bother to pour himself another drink, he just grabbed the bottle and let it slide down his throat. "Fuckin' bitch, freakin' fucker...

... I want my baby."

[mzblkauthor]

Bliss

Part 2 of Bliss

Wc: 2k

___

Currently you were rushing out the door to get in the uber you registered for. The morning was not going so well. You woke up 15 minutes late, your dryer didn't fully dry your clothes, and you hit your funny bone while walking out the door. It seemed like the only good thing going today was your phone being on 100% and that it was Friday. It's not like you wanted to deal with annoying ass customers but, your work friends were always chill as fuck so maybe this bad luck will stay in the house.

You opened the door damn near falling inside with your backpack tumbling down to the seat, after accidentally slamming the door you hear a slightly accented voice talking to you, "Good morning, having a good day?"

You took a deep breath and tried to calm yourself down from the little fiasco that just happened, irritated with the fact that he even asked because clearly you're not. But instead of lashing out at someone who's just trying to do their job, you adjust your backpack and put your seatbelt on and tell him, "It could be better but the day just started so hopefully everything will pull through in the end.” He nodded, understanding your feelings. He dropped the small talk and turned up the radio which was playing some pop song that came out recently.

Around 10 minutes passed and you were in front of the mall, after paying and thanking your uber driver you made your way inside. You head straight to footlocker, it wasn't your ideal job but it pays enough for now, I mean you were taking online classes for being a realtor. Why look for a high paying job now?

You were welcomed with the ring of the bell over the door and the waves of your fellow coworkers. Going into the back and putting your stuff up you realized you weren't met with the sound of your annoying ass supervisor bitching about how you were 5 minutes late. Once you signed in you went to the front to ask where she was. Dahlia, your work wife, explained that the ex supervisor 'disapproved' of everybody's attitude on day shift, so she switched shifts with night shift. You didn't really care though cause she was a bitch anyways.

When you worked your way into your zone, you got most of the newly shipped shoes in the correct storage stand and helped plenty of customers get their perfect fitting shoe. You were happy with your pace so far, you didn't feel like you were overexerting yourself and you kinda enjoyed how you were moving with a purpose.

That was until someone stopped you, a customer, your favorite hoe, Shawn. He was 5'10 and light skinned, not exactly your type but he did know how to give a girl butterflies. With his low fade and new J's he can get any number he wants but, luckily you didn't try anything serious with him. Your relationship consisted of mostly just talking stages and you were ok with that.

But, you didn't like being interrupted at your job by people that you see outside of your job. That personal life and work life boundary was something that you thought should never be crossed but, you can't help it if people happen to wanna get shoes from your workplace. "Y/n,"

You took a deep breath wanting to ignore him but, knowing you can't, "Yeah, what can I do for you?"

He leaned back while boldly checking you out in your uniform, if you were anywhere else you would feed into his flirty nature but, right now was not the time.

"I mean nun really I just wanted to talk," you knew he wasn't trying to get on your nerves but he was dancing on your shit right now.

But instead of snapping at him, you told him calmly "If you don't need anything that has to do with shoes I can't help you."

Still not realizing that you were trying to end the conversation early he insisted on being around you. Quickly scanning the shelves he picked up a random black and white shoe, "Well, do you have these in a size 11 in mens?"

"No,"

He scrunched his face up and told you " You didn't even check though, how would you know?" You giggle at his response because he was so serious about it and still didn't realize that he was in the women's section.

"I don't know maybe it's because I just restocked and I know there aren't any of those types of shoes in the men's size," you said, plucking the shoe out of his hand and placing it back on the shelf "or maybe it's because we're in the women's section."

Looking around, it dawned on him that he was on the wrong side of the store, scratching his head he let out a soft "Oh," instead of trying to continue to bother you, he asked you straight up "You don't want me messing with you do you?"

You thought about your response for a little bit, not wanting to accidentally hurt his feelings, "I mean I fuck with you and you know that but, right now I'm working so you kinda blowing my shit,"

He nodded recognizing what your tryna say, so he left it at that and said "Aight imma leave you alone for now but, you know where I be at, so don't be afraid to hit a nigga up," you gave him a side hug and he was on his way. Not long after that you got back into your workflow. Eventually minutes turned to hours and not only was it 4:00 but, you accidently missed your break. After ordering another uber you saw that Atsumu texted you about an hour ago:

Hey

Suna told me u was going to the next smoke sesh u know where it's at??

Um I didn't really say yes but ig I can go

And no I don't know where it's at

Ok I'll pick u up then around 6 good??

Yeah sure

___________

It was 5:30 and you already took a shower and everything but, you still didn't have an outfit chosen. Kiyoko was on the phone telling you what outfits looked good or looked like you were trying too hard, after going through almost every piece of clothing in your closet you gave up and settled with sweatpants, an undershirt, and a hoodie. You packed your backpack with some snacks, a charger, earbuds, a cart, your wallet, and your keys. Hearing a honk outside you made your way to the front door.

Opening the door you were greeted with a big dopey smile from Atsumu. “Hey beautiful,” rolling your eyes, you laughed and said a simple ‘hey’. You and Atsumu always had a flirty way of speaking to each other ever since you both met. But, you were no fool to the game so there were no hard feelings whenever he would talk about his new girl of the week.

“So,” Atsumu started while side eyeing you as he drove, “Suna invited you to the little get together, huh?” He did a little jig in his seat as you laughed at his antics. You missed being around Atsumu and his childish behavior, maybe it was a good idea to go with Kiyoko that day.

“Yeah but, its not anything weird I think he just wants me to roll up.” you told him brushing off his little ideas. “Anyways, why are y'all smoking at a hotel?” while waiting for his response you buckled up and got your playlist for the smoke session ready.

“We go there all the time, cause Osamu doesn’t like when we smoke there, and Suna just doesn’t like people at his place.” with a hum of understanding, you both fell into comfortable silence until you arrived at the hotel.

___________

You walked in and were embraced with the familiar smell of marijuana. Closing your eyes and taking a big whiff, you got butterflies, just from the thought of having another encounter like last time with Suna had you blushing. You heard a honeyed voice bickering "Stop it." Intrigued by the voice you made your way to the living room.

"Shit," you heard Atsumu mutter behind you. Standing in the doorway you saw a woman smothering your ‘little crush’, boobs halfway out of her shirt and hair in a messy bun. You swallowed the lump in your throat and slinked your way to the couch. It was fucking embarrassing. No one noticed you yet but, the way you were genuinely excited to see him was humiliating. You fixed your face making sure to not show any sign of emotion. You didn't know him like that so it wasn't too bad but, still that shit low-key hurt.

Feeling his eyes on you, you glanced up at him. She was whispering in his ear and touching on his face. You could tell he was trying to observe your reaction by the way he stared at you in the eye. As you were staring back at him you noticed the way he was smirking at you while rubbing his hand down the girl’s back. Tf did you do for him to act like that? Rolling your eyes you got your phone out and went to spotify but, instead of going to the playlist you prepared you clicked on your summer walker playlist.

Hearing someone clear their throat you looked up, “Wassup Y/N, you wanna start rolling up now?” He threw the baggy at you and gestured to the table that had the paper and grinder on it.

You put your other airpod in, flicked your hood onto your head and started rolling. Eventually, 1 joint turned into 5. But,with the amount of people there you didn’t feel too high yet. What you did feel was the pressure of Suna though, it's like the higher you got either he was getting bolder or you just were more conscious of him. Either way you hated that he affected you that much. Throughout the 2 hours you've been in the hotel not once did he stop eyeing you, at this point you were pissed off cause you came here to chill and this irritating ass motherfucker won't let you breathe too hard without making a face. Sick of his shit you got up to go in the kitchen.

"Where you going, Y/n?" He said after taking a hit and licking his lips.

Dry ass lips, what he needs is some goddamn CarMax, you thought to yourself as you made your way to the kitchen. "The kitchen" you replied.

After asking the girl on his lap what she wanted, he told you "gimme some hot chips and water," who the fuck does he think he's talking too. You came here thinking that it was going to be a sequel of what happened last time, maybe even get his number. But, this little event here is making your feelings towards him flip instantly. It's unbelievable how entitled this nigga is. Having you roll up is whatever, you were expecting that but, damn near glaring at you throughout the whole smoke sesh, inviting a whole other female knowing you were coming, then not asking but, making you get something from the kitchen. This dude got you fucked up.

"Damn what took so long," Suna said as you threw him the water bottle and hot chips. Rolling your eyes and sitting back down chewing on the candy string, you got an uber. Atsumu nugged your shoulder and asked if you were good. You debated on telling him that you were about to leave but you didn't want him to offer you a ride and spend a 15 minute drive sitting in awkward silence.

5 minutes later you got a text saying your driver was in front of the lobby. "Aight y'all Imma head home," you got up and told everyone.

"Wait, I can take you home," Atsumu said while passing the joint to someone and going for his keys. You gently pushed him back down on the couch.

"Nah it's good 'tsumu, I already ordered it." With that you walked out, not worrying about what's-his-face at all.

___

I hope you guys enjoyed it took a lil minute for me to actually finish it.

[cherr1-s0da]

STRARLIE (strade x Charlie Morningstar) MASTER POST THING

Charlie:happy one year anniversary babe!

Strade:it's been a year already?

Charlie:well...it was actually last week but I forgot sooo to make up for it I made you....MACARONI ART!! :D

*she hands him the macaroni art as he stares*

Strade:uh...thanks..

*at...whatever fuckin auto shop strade works at*

Charlie on the other side waving..aggressively:HI STRADE!! IT'S ME! HI!!!

coworker:uh...do you know her?

Strade:...no she uh...shes my stalker

*strade coming home from a long day at work*

Strade:...what the fuck am I looking at?

Charlie:we're playing house! I'm the mother in a loveless marriage who regrets having children with her dead beat husband!

Ren:and I'm the hoe ass daughter who can't close her legs!

Strade:...alright...you have fun with that...im gonna..go...away

Charlie:strade...i think I'm pregnant...

*he punches her in the stomach as hard as he can as Charlie wheezes and falls to the floor crying*

Strade:not anymore..hey when you're done with that can you grab me a beer?

*the kids finally get to spend the week at dad's they cheer and tackle strade as Charlie smiles looking at their mother*

Charlie:oh! You must be his ex wife! I heard so much about you! I'm Charlie by the way!

Ex wife:..Laura...so you his new girlfriend?

*Charlie turns to look at strade who's playing with his children*

Charlie:..yeah..

*they shake hands as Laura grabs her wrist yanking her till their faces are inches away from each other*

Laura whispering:girl..run...as fast and as far...as you can...

[spiritualconnecnlovu4ever]

Almost got killed by police because of what you said to them... All I did was love you more then I have loved anyone else in this world..

Talked to some of your old friends and they told me somethings you did behind my back, now I know... I forgive u but I kno u don't care... thanks for the 3 years n your welcome for the longest relationship u ever had... you watched the good person I was trying to be n the man u could rely on, but it was never enough for u.. we were so connected I would make your legs shake from the 12 orgasms I gave u in that 3 hours and u were so embarrassed when I made u squirt the surprise in ur face I kno u couldn't ever get enough of me n I could never get enough of u... but it was like Dr.jackle n Ms.Hyde... for our 3rd anniversary I bought u a new ring inwas planning on giving to u in bali since sometimes u would cut me down n call me cheap when you wanted to get married on such short notice.. but taking my last name was another way for u to change ur name n get away from all ur past n the many names u created trying to escape a bad of a person was... u constantly would remind me how good I was to u n my karma from helping others not just u, but u could notice it cuz good things were just randomly happening to me n for me n I believed the karma I was getting brought u into my life, I felt so lucky I could b myself n b honest with you cuz I kno we aren't perfect but we tried or atleast I did.. you physically, mentality, n emotionally abused me n I'm realizing that... bye... I just wish I could talk to u n ask y, cuz u said if I leav u ur calling cops on me n ur going to fuck my life up... the the only thing since our vows u followed threw with.. u were only ther during the health n wealth part I had to deal with the bad alone... trust me I never felt love like that before n I also never felt depression u cause me to go threw like that b4 ever in my life... I had to take that as a learning experience to try to never let someone like u into my life again...

Ps. I loved you... byee. Maybe in another lifetime we can find each other earlier in life but u showed me u can't turn a hoe into a house wife...

[prelovednikaidou]

His new wife; toji fushiguro [01]

Genre: angst.

a/n: idk shld i post a part two?

update: part two is here

I imagined if toji did remarry, he wouldn't hold his new wife just like he did for mamaguro. His new wife would be an empty vase he chose to fill the vacant spot in his house; or maybe, he chose her because megumi was tired of explaining to his friends that he didn't have a mom.

I imagined the dining table is as awkward as it could be, with his new wife trying her best to fit in the family but the two males just don't feel the same for her. Perhaps they secretly thought to themselves that she’s trying hard for nothing. Because she's just for a show.

I imagined if Toji did consumate to his marriage, his sex life with his new bride is boring or non-existent. He didn't marry her for love and he didn't marry his side hoes. She's like a professional ally he keeps for commercial. She can't complain because she knows that the second she opens her mouth, he's willing to put his sign on the divorce paper.

I imagined that she has to mourn along with Toji and Megumi on mamaguro's death. She can't watch TV the whole day because the house needs to be as quiet as possible to pay respect. She even needs to sneak her way to the bedroom and watches her kdrama with earphones.

I imagined that there's a day where Toji's new bride will notice that he never initiates any skinship and when she confronts him, turns out he just doesn't want to have any kids with her. Because to him, mamaguro is the only mother for his kids.

I imagined Toji brings Megumi out for a picnic date but leaves his new wife at the house when she's still busy packing the lunch boxes. And when he does return to the home back, he only comes for the food and goes back to Megumi without bringing her along.

I imagined she has to explain to her friends that Toji is a Zenin, not a Fushiguro by birth because he used his wife's surname and her friends will question her on why he doesn't use hers since she's his wife too. But she doesn't answer because she doesn't dare to humiliate herself.

I imagined she comes to pick Megumi from school and his friends will ask her why she doesn't look like how Megumi drew on his weekly poster and she has to control herself before she bursts out crying in front of toddlers.

I imagined the Fushiguro house doesn't feel as warm as she first stepped in because she finally gives up. She doesn't bother to butter up a convo, she doesn't laugh off when Megumi tells her to leave him alone because she doesn't seek him anymore.

I imagined Toji comes home late, expecting the familiar figure who waits for him every day but the whole living room is dark and she is long asleep on her side of bed. Toji probably thinks that she's tired and moves along but he doesn't notice that he's making up excuses for her because the thought of her doing it intentionally is impossible.

I imagined the ride home when Toji picks up Megumi at his grandparents from the Fushiguro family is silent. His wife will play with her phone, scrolling through her social medias and she doesn't ask Megumi on how he spent his weekend anymore. She has stopped joking about how Megumi hates her parents too. She doesn't mention anything about bringing Megumi to her home.

I imagined Megumi walks to his class, but always looking back to the gate. Megumi thinks that his step-mother will put up a little fight to hold his hand and walks him to his class. But she only rolls down the window and nods. She doesn't do the silly 'kissy kissy' too. She doesn't even greet him 'good morning' today.

I imagined the cute face of Megumi's disappointed face when he unzips the lunch bag. He shakes the bag but there's nothing. Megumi thinks that she accidentally forgot to pack his food but when he calls her by the public phone, she explains that she doesn't do it anymore because Toji wants to teach him how to buy food at the canteen. But Toji doesn't say that.

I imagined Toji's new wife looks at the bouquet he brings home and wonders if he ever sees her as her own person but a shell he fills with his fantasy because that day isn't their anniversary and she doesn't like lilies. She hates flowers in truth.

I imagined Megumi will have a huge birthday party and both families will come visit, including the Fushiguros. While the Zenin members converse with mamaguro's parents with ease, Toji's parents-in-law are asked to sit in the kitchen, watching their step-grandson from far and wonder if there will be a time where they are able to spoil a 'grandchild' too.

I imagined Toji's wife watches how everyone alienate her parents and they are unwelcomed no matter what the event is. She will swallow her words, chokes on her tears before she calls a cab for her parents. Toji doesn't even notice that his father-in-law has been eyeing an opportunity to talk to him, wanting to ask about his daughter. But Toji's gentle words aren't aimed to him, but an older man of his past.

I imagined when the party's over, no one helps Megumi's new mother to handle the messy house. She is expected to clean the big house and she hasn't even eat the cake. No, they don't spare her a slice too. So when she picks up the paper plates with the left-over bits, she eats the sweet icing and realises, she isn't his wife nor a mother to his child.

I imagined the home she tried so hard to please becomes the place she hates, Toji can no longer see her sweet smile nor her flushed face. His little pretty wife has stopped trying and there's no warm diner by the time he got home. The lengthy texts he recieved everyday have reduced to none, she doesn't contact him anymore.

I imagined the whole family sit down for diner together in the dining table and only the clicking of chopsticks against the bowls echo. His wife doesn't talk about her stupid childhood comfort foods, she doesn't put dishes into his or his son's bowls either. She chews her food slowly, eyes cast on her food without muttering a word. The whole diner is silent.

[pricescigar]

Frankvira

Frank Woods X Elvira Wolff

Prompt: "You want a bite?"

Photo belongs to me

Elvira loved to cook, no matter what it was. Thanks to her mother who had a old bunch of recipes before she ran away. She write all of them down, and then learnt to cook them just like hoe her mother did; Mia had her ways in cooking certain things too. From recipie, from a cook book or from scratch. From what she knew by heart, the passion for cooking and for baking was at her greatest, she became espeically good at baking too.

Frank loved coming home from work, smelling her food. Even after a hard days work, stressful day. The smell of food, and being near his wife, just what he needs to decompress and relax with her. Just as the same for Elvira too coming home and smelling Woods food, and spending quality time with him, both of them also took their turns to cook. Or the latter, they should cook together, which both of them always loved. It was another great way to spend time with each other.

Frank loved her cooking especially her baking, the cookies, cakes, cupcakes, brownies all the sorts. He just couldn't keep his hands off of them, food is food after all that's what he'd always say. Elvira didn't mind though. She appreciated that Woods loved her cooking.

"Want a bite?" Elvira mused pressing the fork near Frank's lips, she had finished baking a cake. Chocolate cake to be exact, the overwhelming smell going around the house. It smelled absolutely delicious, Frank was dying to eat some.

"Hell yeah, come on just one small bite please..." Woods stared down at her, the fresh smell of the cake smelt so lovely. He could have her cakes any day, any meal at this point.

"Hm... I don't know, we should save this for desert you know?" Elvira began to think, as she simply smiled at him innocently. Before slowly pulling the fork away from his lips.

"Just a small piece! Please! I know you can't resist it either, you know how much I love your cooking..." Woods almsot pratically begged to her this time, in hopes it would work properly

Elvira sighed a little and then chuckled softly, letting Woods eat the small piece she originally had given to him to eat upon the fork. Before going over to cut the cake properly and to put them on dmall plates. "Alright you win, I can't resist that face of yours." She then began to cut the cake.

Woods smiled at and sat himself down near the kitchen table, admiring her as she began to place the cake upon the plate. He couldn't wait to eat the delcious cake, even though dinner would ve ready in fourty five mintues or so. Oh well, Woods couldn't care any less. "You know me dear, I'm a bear. Always hungry!" He teased.

"Ja I know, you're my big bear! After all!" Elvira smiled happily, placing the two small plates of cake down on the table. Kissing Frank's head, before she would sit herself down too.

"Forever and always my little otter." Frank said, kissing her hand before grabbing the fork ans eating the cake. As per usual, he groaned softly in happiness. The cake tasted amazing. "Shit babe, you do such a good job as always. God I fucking love you!" He said.

"And I love you too mister." Elvira couldn't stop smiling and ate the Cake, she was proud of herself. She loved how amazing it tasted, her sweet tooth was kicking in. And as always there would be room for more for dessert.

[lovee-infected]

Husband!Leona x Housewife!Reader: Birthday surprise

As you have your birthday today, Leona has a plan to prepare a party for his one and only beloved wife; however, uncle Ruggie and your babies almost burn the house down to ashes when you're out...

Happy birthday @jessamine-rose !♡ Now suffer-

Warning(s): None, just a review on Leona's chaotic father experiment trying to babysit his neko babies.

Note: This work is the continuation of a personal au I wrote for @jessamine-rose s/o and Leona have 3 adorable kittens (babies) in this au; The elder two are twins , a girl named Kaede and a son named Haruki while the baby gremlin is a sweet but chaotic cinnamon roll girl named Lucy (Lulu).

At last, it's here: The big day. Not only Leona seems have been expecting this day to arrive for months, or perhaps, he's been waiting ever since you had your previous birthday last year.

Not that you thought previous birthday celebrations with them lacked anything specific or was incomplete in a recognizable way; but it didn't change the fact that you didn't seem to have enjoyed them either.

Leona is the prince of the afterglow Savannah, after all. As her wife your birthday was nothing less than a national holdiday and he always tented to prepare royal celebrations ever since you married him.

But for some reason, that formal and majestic aura seemed to bother you in a way; perhaps because you preferred to be actually spending time with Leona and your family instead of having to stay in the same spot for hours with your back straightened as you greet thousands of strangers and the rest of the royal family.

Not that you ever spoke of how uncomfortabe and annoying all of those birthday ceremonies were, but you almost let out a relived sigh when Leona tells he isn't going to put out another of those extravagant celebrations.

The night before your birthday, Leona comes to you and mentions hoe it's been a while since the last time you had some time for your own, and he's right: From the day you gave birth to lulu you've been awfully busy with housework and caressing your babies; not that your life could be any sweeter than it is now but you had to admit- You somehow missed the old days when you had more time to spend on your own...

Leona recommends you take a day off, as a birthday treat! You're free to go shopping, take a short vacation to the beach or simply go to your favorite cafe and enjoy your favorite drinks and beverages in peace, meanwhile Leona would take care of the house and kittens so you can have today for your own and all~

Of course you accept his offer, you give him a small kiss on cheek and thank him, the two of you head to your bedroom and you are given the opportunity to sleep on Leona's warm chest for the rest of the night.

Thus you leave the house the next morning after, and now it's time for Leona's secret plan. He's already prepared anything, your favorite flowers, your favorite desserts and food, a very expensive perfume you had liked before, color-matching costumes for both him and the kittens, tiny cute accessories to decorate the house with and at last, tens of gifts from different things he sure knows that you'll love.

Ruggie is charge of cooking, so he gets to preparing muffins and cupcakes while Leona takes care of decorations: Designing the entire house with flower petals, baloons and colorful ribbons would've taken him hours if he were to do that by hand, but using his extraordinary magic skills, the whole house is perfectly decorated and prepared in a second *Chef's kiss.*

Just as Leona is about to let out a proud smirk and return to kitchen to see how Ruggie is doing with he cooking, he hears a sound. He turns his head to find no one but baby Lulu, chewing the decorations.

He runs to her and takes the ribbons out of her mouth, opening her mouth a second time and carefully look through it to see if she's eaten any of them or not. Oh God, he promised that he'd take care of everything when you're out, he just can't let you return home and find out that your baby has swallowed paper, what will you even think of him? Irresponsible partner? Unworthy father? No, he must make sure that baby lulu would be all same and sound until you return home.

He hugs Lulu and puts her on a corner with several baloons to play with, far from anything dangerous she could chew but then baby Lulu discovers a new hobby: popping balloons.

Her tiny fangs have just popped out and her gums often hurt, so she just wants to get her fangies on anything she could chew or bite and wow, this baby is not only totally unaffected by the loud sound of balloons popping right into her face but also finds it quite amusing. Baby begins to laugh loudly and chase after more balloons to chew as she has discovered a new hobby, and before Leona could've stopped her, she pops 5 more balloons with just one bite-

Leona picks her up immediately because if Lulu continued to chew balloons like this nothing of them would be left until you get home-

- But all of a sudden, he smells something rotten, followed by a trail of smoke coming from kitchen. He immediately puts Lulu down and runs back to the kitchen to see what in the great seven's name is happening there-

Leona jumps into the kitchen- just to find Kaede and Haruki screaming and crying as Ruggie's trying to take the black-rotten cupcakes out of the oven. Leona asks what the hell has happened and Ruggie explains he was too busy separating the twins because they couldn't stop arguing whether their mama would like caramel syrup as the topping or sprinkles, so Ruggie totally forgets about the overcooked muffins and cupcakes in the middle of their arguments.

Leona tells him to pull himself and start over- But Ruggie aruges that he won't be able to concentrate on both babysitting and cooking if that's how it's going to be. Leona growls and tell Ruggie to stop being such a wacky hyena and just get back to work without messing up again- And Ruggie explodes.

He starts shouting, Ruggie legit starts shouting in a rare, angry tune which terrified everyone even Leona. He roars that he won't be doing shit until Leona actually pays him for once, and the two start arguing. Just as the chaos is burning the kitchen down, Lulu decides uncle Ruggie's leg looks quite delicious to bite, and in a matter of second Ruggie is screaming as the baby lion's fangs literally pierced into his flesh.

The whole house is filled with smoke, Lulu has taken the entire decorations down and Leona's trying to seprate baby Lulu's fangs from Ruggie's leg. Twins are terrified, so the silently sneak out of the kitchen to call the right person to come for help...

It's past 10 pm when you're done with your day off. You've been giggling over how a day off was just what you needed after a long time, you had told Leona to call if anything went wrong, and thankfully, you didn't receive any calls from him while you were out. Leona really seems to have toughed it out as a father, huh?

You knock at the door, waiting for someone to open it. After a 3 minute delay you take a small look through the house and realize the lights are off. You just get in using your keys and suddenly, a loud "SURPRISE!" makes you jump back and the lights are back on, revealing Farena, Cheka, your kittens and very, very very tired-looking Leona and Ruggie standing in front of you. Leona gives you a weak smile as your confused gaze meets him, at last, they managed to clean the mess up before you got home.

Twins welcome you with a warm hug as they lock their tiny arms around your waist, digging their faces into soft fabrics of your clothes as if they hadn't met you in days, and of course, 12 hours of chaos without mama at home is enough to make them want to never be left alone in the house with uncle Ruggie and dad again-

Ruggie is trying his best not to be rude but he quickly approaches you, wishes you a very happy birthday and excuses himself saying he really needs to be home by this hour. You question the bandages wrapped around his leg, asking if he's alright? Ruggie just- Gulps nervously before turning his head back and stare at Leona who is holding Lulu... Ruggie nods quickly and leaves your house asap, poor boy... maybe you should call him sometime later and asking if he's doing fine?

Back to the party, Farena chuckles as he tells you how his younger brother has been DESPERATELY making plans for his beloved wife's birthday for nearly two months-! Farena explains that Leona even refused to accept Farena's help when he was firstly coming up with the plans, but Leona insisted that he wanted to manage everything on his own.

Aaaaaw Leona's face is a must-see now, his ears dropped down in mild embarrassment and frustration, feeling like a silly child in front of you. Damn- If it was on him he wouldn't have asked for Farena's help once in a thousand years even if if Ruggie and him had ended up burning the entire house; but he must admit, he's glad that twins asked for his help because- It would've been impossible to manange to do all the work on time without his help.

Aaah at least your birthday party didn't turn out to be a horrible mess, but at what cost? Great seven, he was supposed to be your one and only man tonight but right now he's nothing but a fuzzy cat wanting to pass put on his bed.

Yet he still manages to keep his eyes open, at least until you're done with the birthday party and Farena and Cheka are finally out; leaving him alone with you. Gosh, he looks so- you can't even find tje right adjective to describe this but all you can say for now is that you've never seen him this tired before.

You gently take Lulu, who has already fallen asleep in his arms and take her to her bed, asking Leona if babysitting her was difficult by any means. Leona tiredly shakes his head in a no, saying how much of a wonderful girl she was when you were away, and you can tell how much of an awful liar he is.

When the kids are asleep, you come to sit next to a lifeless Leona on couch, damn, just what happened to this household when you weren't around?

Leona's too tired to explain, he just sighs and apologizes for your birthday not being even *close to the best it could be, just to meet your laughter.

Oh lord, he is being quite desperate at the moment ha? Leona was always the dominative and demanding one, to have him serve ypu on your birthday... Oh dear, isn't that already the best birthday gift possible?

You excitedly start to tell him how this birthday was just the best you could've ever asked for: Freedom, A golden time to be spent for your own desires and not anyone else, and aside all of these, you return home just to face a secret party waiting for you!

But most importantly: He had gone through all of these... for you, to make you happy.

You tightly hug him, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing his face closer to yours. Aaaa he looks so cute like this, just like a tired pouty can wanting you to spoil him and to be honest, he's going to need you spoil him for a week at least for him to recovers from that 12 hours of chaos.

It's been a long day, for both you and him. So he just kisses your forehead and bridal carries you to your bedroom afterwards; wrapping his strong arms and thighs around you and jailing you in his embrace. You gasp at the warmth, truth be told having your face burried in Leona's firm chest like this was something you never got used to even after being married to him for years. Damn lion knew how to leave a flushed mess out of you, huh? You chuckle as you struggle to release yourself but hell, the jerk simply pretends that he's already fallen asleep.

Just as Leona's arms are jailing you into his embrace he wonders, today probably didn't turn out to be as good as he'd planmed but well... at least you're happy. That's what he wanted when he whet out of his way planning for today, after all. But he can tell the experiment made him come to appreciate you even more, thinking that you've been caressing all three of your babies for years all on your own while Leona wouldn't have even made it for half a day if Farena hadn't saved him...

[whole-lotta-hoes]

Whole Lotta Hoes| Crack Fanfic Mini Series

Episode One: Zeppelin Is No More

Episode Two: Looking For A Job

Episode Three:

Episode Four:

Episode Five:

Warning:

This will cause you to lose a couple of brain cells and question your sanity. It will include a shit ton of weird shit and things that don't make sense at all. Do not read if you are not ready for any of this, read at your own risk.

Cast:

John Paul Jones (Main character)

Robert Plant

Jimmy Page

John Bonham

-------------------

Led Zeppelin is a band apparently. It's just a bunch of horny mother fuckers put together to make songs about sex. John Paul Jones was laying in bed with Robert Plant which he has no idea how that happened. He hoped nothing weird went down between them cause Jimmy Page would be so mad. oh jesus oh god you do not want to make that mother fucker mad. He'll literally turn you into a cheeseball and eat you. John got out of bed only to see that John Bonham was standing in the corner eating swedish fish gummies. He was not going to question it.

"Want some?" Bonzo asked him and he held one in his hand.

"I don't know you what the fuck!?" Jonesy yelled. He went to the baffroom and spotted jimmy trying to swim inside of the toilet. He believed he could do it if he tried hard enough.

"the oil supply demand is sky rocketing these days!" jimmy yelled as he got out of the toilet.

"Bitch do not touch me with your boo boo water," He warned him as he grabbed a toothbrush to use as a weapon. He learned how to make a knife with it in jail.

"Penis guitar playing is totes fun jonesy, you should try it," jimmie added. Oh mother fucker he is a heterosexual lad. Or that is what he said the other day when he ate some of robert's caramel popcorn. man he wondered how he even ended up in that stupid band. who's led and why does he have a zeppelin? you know some guy named their kid zeppelin but he claims that he didn't name him after the band. wait what were we talking about?

The band all decided to head to mcdonalds to eat happy meals. jimmy tickles.

"Guys! oh my god you will not believe it but britney is such a slut! ugh! can't believe she left me for a fish lookin' mother fucker-"

"No one gives a rats ass about your weird horny ass!" jimmy cut him off by yelling at robert. God damn that shithead has a huge ego but a small dick. Jonesy never understood why people liked him so much. He once stole his favorite pair of jojo siwa socks and claimed he never knew he owned any.

"You motherfuckers we're supposed to be going on tour!" Bonzo yelled as he swooped the food off the table.

"suck my asshole bonzo!" jim yelled.

"calm down pagey, he's just a meanie," robert added as he patted his head.

"y'all need to start realizing that no one likes you both!" jonesy snapped.

"shut up you're literally ugly and small and the bassist of led zeppelin and you look like heman with that stupid haircut of yours" Bonzo said as he ate jonesys burgers. damn that hurt.

"You know," jonesy began, "i don't need this job"

"what job?" robeet askes.

"shhhhh let the weirdo speak," jimmy said as he stuck his finger into his mouth.

"without me you will all suck asshole and no one will actually like led zeppelin," he explained.

the three slowly looked at each other and began to laugh their asses off at him.

"You act like you matter so much," robert added.

"shut up cheese cream! you're literally big and ugly and you look like you are 50 years old!" bonzo said as he drank his milk. that was funny. Jonesy felt his blood boil and grabbed his happy meal and stormed out.

-

It was the day of their shit concert. led zeppelin were backstage preparing to cause a dismother and set things on fire. preferably roberts underwear that pretty much doesn't exist in this case. the band stepped on stage and the crowd went wild.

"hello bananas-" That motherfucker fell forward into the drum set. oopsies. jimmy ran to him to make sure his hoe isn't dead or alive. fucking bon jovi.

"oh shit! robert plant is down!" he yelled. jonesy was absolutely done with them. they are nothing but a bunch of dumb fucks who ruin everything. He took out his laser penis and shot jimmy and robert to death.

"oh Motherfucker has a fucking laser pp! hija de su pinche madre!" jimmy yelled as he split in half. robert died again. bonzo just sat there blown away by the fact that that john paul jones just killed the front man and the guitarist of Led Zeppelin in front of millions of people. he was impressed.

"holy shit man you really-"

nope sorry but jonesy shot him too so he died. damn he could've let him live. meanie. oh wait im writing this so i could've.... ah man im too lazy to go back and fix it. too bad we're going with this plot now. Jonesy stepped off the stage and headed to the back.

"god dammit i hate everyone in this bloody world," he said to himself. he decided to hit the pub that was nearby to enjoy himself.

As he was sitting at the counter drinking something that is an alcoholic beverage. he began to spark ideas of what he could possibly do since led zeppelin died. He thought about starting a whole new band but he remembered that what caused him to kill led zeppelin. that was out of the shopping list for walmart. next was to steal money from the bank so he remains rich but he then realized that he is a famous musician and will get recognized quickly. fuck. he then thought of changing his hair to look less like heman cause that insult hurt.

"aha!" he shouted. He finally thought of something that could get him a shit ton of money. He drank the remaining drink from his cup and ran out of the pub.

-

he put on a thicc line of eyeliner, red lipstick, a black wig, fish nets leggings, high heeled boots, and earrings. oh man this is going to be hella great. His wife walked in to see what the fuck this small ass mothertrucker was up to this time. oh man i shat my pants.

"sweetie what the fuck are you doing!?" she yelled. Jonesy turned to look at her.

"led zeppelin is no more," he responded. She was so confused and wondered how the fuck she even ended up marrying heman. she had no idea what led zeppelin is no more meant and was hella concerned for his health.

"be back in a few days," he added as he broke his ankle trying to exit the house and rolled down the hill. oops it's not up the hill anymore. guess you could really say he went down hill. i hate myself so much. he walked down the sidewalk and ended up in someone's house. Motherfucker it's jimmy page's house. he stole his nice trousers or whatever those were. my teacher walked by as i wrote that btw. turns out they don't fit him cause jimmy is also a big hoe and jonesy isn't. shit. jimmy is embarrassing asf. that was pointless of him stealing so he stole his underwear. wait he wears those? imma look it up hold on. i didn't find anything about that so im just going to assume that he doesnt.

there was a picture of jimmy when he was with the yardbirbs and golly that is one ugly Motherfucker! he stole and stuffed it into his underwear. he got out of the house full of useless shit that he did not need at all. Then he forgot what he was doing. Jonesy continued walking down the street only to break his other ankle and rolled down the steep pathway. damn he's one dumb hoe bitch.

-

His laser penis was out of control. he just wanted to have a little me time but instead shot a whole through the wall of the motel be was staying in. god dammit. he removed his pp and switched it out with a normal pp. that's odd. his plan of overthrowing led zeppelin stressed him out. what else do you do when you're stressed? well can't say cause i ain't gotta peener. he got so bored. his days of not being in led zeppelin have been lame and was the worst idea he could even come up with. he didn't know what to do know. he can't just eat your grandma over and over again. he looked at himself through the mirror and oh my god I'm a sexy Motherfucker oh yeah bitch im THE BITCH. he needed to find something that'll keep him entertained for while.

babysitting was a bad idea. he got bitten by a bunch of goblins and gave him rabies. god i hate kids.

"hello motherfucker," jimmy said.

"OH SWEET MOTHER OF GOD DAD SHOES PENIS PLANT! I THOUGHT I KILLED YOU THE OTHER DAY!" Jonesy yelled as he jumped over the couch.

"Nah bitch that was just my twin brother Jamie Patricia Page," He added. "Bitch why are you dressed like a stripper?"

Oh yeah he forgot that was what he was going to do once he killed led zeppelin. he still can but now there's a little bitch with him named james patrick page.

"we should kill robert plant," jimny suggested.

"Bitch i already killed him, you're a little too late you duck whore," he responded.

turns out he didn't actually kill led zeppelin but instead killed their twin brothers.

"You want to overthrow led zeppelin into the trashcan?" Jonesy asked. "Thought that's what you and bert wanted to do...."

"Nah man.... percy is a very stupid penguin and is meanie.... he stole my jojo siwa socks," jimmy explained.

ah damn turns out robert plant is the villain of the story and should be died. he is too powerful. his hair will slice the fuck out of anyone.

"You got a plan?" Jonesy asked.

"i say we steal his pants and burn them and use them as an alternative to oil," he explained. damn science class. then this guy named bonzo showed up and began to beat them with his drum sticks.

"BONZO CALM THE FUCK DOWN! AHHHHHHHHH!!!" james yelled.

"sorry but robert said to beat you both with them!" bonzo yelled back.

jonesy dug through his pants and took out a bunch of swedish fish gummies.

"hey look! fish gummies! come and get it boy!"

"bitch what the fuck I am not some stupid dog for you to be doing that time of shit you small Motherfucker heman lookin hoe short shit," bonzo said.

"GIMME GIMME OH SHIT!" he attacked Jonesy.

jimmy page the god of led zeppelin stood there watching while cheering them on fight fight fight! it got in here so he removed his trousers and threw them at bonzo which ended up knocking him out.

"oh shit! your pants are powerful! we can use it to kill percy!" Jonesy shouted.

"NO! JIMBERT MUST GO CANON!" Jimmy yelled and jumped out the window. all you heard was splash. that motherfucker jumped into the pool and is now wet. that's a disturbing image. Jonesy rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever the fuck he was doing. it all of a sudden got really bright outside. oh the sun came out cause it was cloudy. but wait! Jonesy looked out the window and spotted robert plant heading towards him.

"IM THE GOLDEN GOD-" that motherfucker fell inside of the pool and sizzled. cual pinche golden god ese no mas anda haciendo puros desmadres y estupideces de mario.

that was the end of led zeppelin.

[stripesofbrooklyn]

Earlier that day; "I can't believe Carol would pull that bullshit, Tony. I divorcing that stupid hoe," Nate sighed, walking besides Stark. He did the same thing. "Yes, go over to Steve's, here's his address. Call me as soon as things calm down," Tony nodded, patting his friend on his shoulder. "Sure!" They high fived before parting ways.

Text from Stark to Rogers; Heads up, Loki's son is on his way. You might want to suit up. Call me asap. Peace ✌

Music sent to all three;

Nate hurried up to Steve Roger's home. His friend, Tony Stark had told him, that the man was sleeping with his wife. Nate has to find that out himself.

The last time Nate spoke to his uncle, Thor. The Asgardian told him, Steve was with Peggy. Who unfortunately was dead. "Open the god damn door up, Rogers. Before, I fucking do it myself," Nate growled, banging on the door. Pissed off, tears in his blue eyes.

Nate stood back, frowning, his hand in his pockets. Biting his lip as he texted Carol. Done with her lies.

Text to Carol from Nate; Be out by tonight. I'm done. Tony told me all about you cheating on me with Steve. How could you? I hate you!

Carol woke up in her and Nate's bed. Thinking about calling Steve. She sighed when she saw her husband's text. Now she was pissed.

Carol got dressed and hurried to Nate's side. Who was standing in front of Steve's house. His back to the door, hands in his pockets. "I fucking hate you, asshole!" Carol snapped as she ran up to him, slapping him in the face. Making him grab her hand, pushing it away. "Don't you, touch me!" Nate narrowed his gaze at her, pure hatred in his gaze.

"Please, Steve open up!" Freaking out Carol knocked on the door, scared the her husband would hurt her. But he would never. Nate just turned around and patiently waited. "Why, Carol? After all we been through. I fucking you!"

Unfortunately, Thor was with the Guardians of the Galaxy, location unknown. But Carol knew how to reach them. But wouldn't until she was safe.

"Nate, knock it off." The door opened, and Steve was in full uniform. "I haven't done anything with Carol. I'm a lot more reserved than that..."he paused.

"I think you should leave."

[iamknicole]

What Are You Doing Here?

HAHN

Lainey was back in Maxine, this time with Cameron. She made sure Melissa didn't even know they were gone. Lainey didn't have time for Melissa to start acting scary and snitching. Eddie had called her and she had to bring Cameron right away.

Parking the black sedan a few hours away from Randall's, Lainey cut the engine and turned in her seat towards Cameron.

"Why are we here, Lainey? You know I don't like leaving my boy with Benny."

"Eddie called me and told me something but I knew if I told you that you wouldn't believe me," she explained quickly.

Cameron laughed and rubbed at his eyes. "I know your big head ass did not make me leave the house for something Eddie trigger happy ass said. Man, take me back home."

Lainey sighed then pointed towards Randall's house.

"Whose car is that, Cam?"

Laughing to himself, Cameron started to shake his head. "I just know that's not who car I think it is."

"It is. Eddie said it's been parked out here for six hours. Nobody else in and nobody out."

Cameron is his Pop's son. He didn't do a lot of talking, he didn't explain himself and if he had to do either of those things it wasn't going to be nice for whoever was around.

Without another word, Cameron jumped out the sedan walking quickly across the street to Randall's house with Lainey right behind him. She jogged to catch up to him, grabbing his arm which he pulled away.

"Cam, wait. Calm down before you go in there. Collect your thoughts, don't do anything too quickly."

Those were things Caleb always told Cameron when he got upset, the only problem being he hadn't gotten to where Caleb is. He had yet to master the art of completely calming down when certain things pissed him off. This being one of those certain things.

He nodded at his little sister trying to calm his nerves but he couldn't. He continued his march to Randall's house with Lainey right behind him. Not bothering to knock, Cameron walked right in the house startling both Marcie and Randall, who were standing at the kitchen counter around Randall's laptop. Marcie put her hand to her mouth looking at Lainey and then at Cameron.

"What are you doing here? Where's our son?" She asked softly

"He's home where your ass should be," Cameron spat glaring at his wife. "Why are you here in this man's house? This man me and my whole family have been protecting you from."

Randall stood to the side, his arms folded across his chest with a smile on his face.

"It's not what you think, Cameron. He wouldn't leave me alone and then I had to come make him stop," she explained through her tears. "I wanted him to leave me alone."

"What did I tell you before we got married, Marcie? I told you that you had one time. This was your one time."

Randall stepped forward with a menacing look in his eyes. "See? I told you. Nobody wants your damaged ass. Not me, not Brad, not your lil mama's boy, " he laughed. "I bet he goes out and finds him a nice white woman. One without all the baggage you have."

"I don't give a damn what me and her got goin on, you not gon talk to her like that in front of me. Watch your mouth," Cameron warned.

"All she is, is a cum dumpster. She's only good for lying on her back. Her mama was definitely right about her. But now your ass is stuck with her cause she gave your stupid ass a baby!"

Marcie stared at the ground, crying as Randall belittled her. Lainey could see the look on her brother's face and knew something bad was about to happen so she quickly pulled Marcie out of the way. As soon as she did Cameron tackled Randall, landing blow after blow to his face and torso. He blacked out all he saw was his rage and that's the only thing that mattered.

Marcie started to scream for them to stop, Lainey shushed her and pulled her out of the house so she could call Eddie. When she hung up with him, she tried to talk to Marcie.

"Why did you come here? You could've at least brought me with you, you know how Cam is, Marcie."

Marcie wrapped her arms around herself looking around the neighborhood. "I couldn't," she cried. "I couldn't bring any of you."

Lainey stared at her sister in law confused. She kept asking her why but Marcie wouldn't answer. Minutes later, Eddie pulled up in his police car and hopped out.

"Lainey, don't talk to her. Who knows what she's been doing with that mouth of hers." Eddie spat slowly approaching them. "Where the hell is Cameron?"

"Inside fighting with Randall."

Just then there was a loud boom from the house and Eddie ran in. Lainey knew enough to know that it wasn't a gunshot but loud enough that someone was hurt and loud enough to wake some of the neighbors.

Alex emerged from the house next door in her robe then Natalie and Lushion from two houses down. All three running over to Marcie and Lainey.

"Is everything okay? Do you know this woman?" Lushion asked Marcie.

Marcie nodded. "She's my sister in law."

Lainey rolled her eyes at them. "Everything is fine. Yall can go back to sleep, this is a family dispute."

Natalie saw Eddie's car and shook her head. "Wait.... you're related to Eddie? Oh hell no. Lushion get in that house and see what's going on."

"How about you take your nosey ass back to your house? You don't give a damn about Marcie or what's wrong, you just wanna know what's going on," Lainey fussed blocking the entry way.

"Ma'am, I'm an officer you have to let me by."

"And I'm the first lady, I don't have to let you do shit. Leave me and my family business alone." Natalie stepped forward trying to push Lainey out of the way only to be pushed back herself. "Did you not hear what I said? Take yall asses on somewhere this is between my family and Randall. We got this."

"You ain't no damn first lady. Move your lil young ass out the way."

Lainey got tired of talking and threw a punch knocking Natalie off her feet. Lushion stared at Lainey as he helped Natalie up.

"I could arrest you for that. That's assault," Lushion yelled.

"And if you arrest me, you bet your ass you're gonna arrest her too. She put hands on me first, LuLu."

While they argued, Alex snuck around the back of the house. It was killing her not knowing what was going on with Randall. She hoped that he was okay. She got in the back door and found Eddie and Cameron both beating up Randall. Charging for a Eddie, she stayed to punch and hit him as hard as she could until Eddie pushed her off of him.

"What the hell is your problem, whore? Lucky I ain't shoot your dumbass." Eddie complained getting off the floor.

Cameron got up too, satisfied with the damage he had done. Randall laid on the ground coughing up blood and clutching his side. Ignoring Eddie, Alex kneeled down to check on Randall.

Just as Cameron approached the laptop they'd found Marcie and Randall by, Marcie came running in and shut the laptop. Cameron glared at her.

"What're you doin, Marcie?"

"You can't look at it, Cam. Please don't look at it." She cried.

"Tell me what you don't want me to see. What is it?"

Randall laughed from the floor earning another kick from Eddie. Lainey, who finally got Lushion and Natalie to go home, came back into the house rubbing her knuckles.

"Go on," Randall said trying to talk through his pain, "Tell him what I have."

Marcie played with her fingers as she cried. She didn't want to tell Cameron, let alone everyone else. She wanted to keep it all to herself. Cameron's patience had run out with her.

"Tell me now or I'm gonna walk out that door and you won't see me or my boy ever again."

"He recorded us every time we had sex and he threatened to sell them to some company. The only way he wouldn't is if I came here and begged him not to," she explained tearfully, "But when I got here, he'd already sold five of them."

Cameron grabbed the laptop, shoving it in Lainey's arms then told her to take Marcie home. Lainey didn't argue, she took the laptop, grabbed Marcie's hand and left the house. Cameron then turned his attention to Alex.

"You love him?" He asked.

Alex looked at Cameron with a frightened look on her face. "Yes. I do."

"Love him enough to take a bullet to the head?"

Alex quickly shook her head and stood, moving away from Randall.

Eddie stepped closer to her. "Then you need to take your hoe ass back to that house and forget we were ever here."

Alex left the house, closing the door behind her. There hasn't been a single time that she was afraid of Eddie until tonight.

"How nosey are his neighbors?" Cameron asked Eddie.

"As hell. Pain in my damn ass."

Cameron nodded. "I want you to enjoy these last couple days I'm giving you. Do anything you need to do cause when I come back, it'll be the end. Like you were never here."

Taking one last look at Randall, Cameron turned seedy headed for the front door. He stopped at the threshold. "And don't try to run, I'll find you."

Eddie smirked and winked at Randall. "See ya soon, little buddy."

[tastingmellow]

Stereotypes

A/N: Fourth part of this series! One more to go! Thank you for the amazing feedback and love. Remember, if you wanna be tagged you have to comment and let me know!

Warning: Fluff! Some Violence! This is really gonna be my favorite part.

Word Count: You guess right, i don't know

Disclaimer: Gif Not Mine

________________

"Erik!" You yelled out, your voice ringing out through his apartment. Your bare feet padded against the hard wood of the floor as you made your way into the kitchen. You lightly adjusted the adjusted Erik's shirt that loosely covered your otherwise bare body.

"What's up?" He replied as you entered his kitchen, being greeted with the view of his bare back as he cooked over the stove. Your eyes traveled down, an eyebrow lifting and a smirk appearing as you landed on his black boxer briefs tightly hugging his waist and ass.

"Heyyy, baby..." You spoke lowly while slinking your way over to him. You lightly bit your lip before smacking his ass, making him pause before turning around to stare at you, your bottom lip pulled between your teeth as you looked up at him. "Okay, Y/N. You gon' have to stop that shit." He spoke before turning back around.

You laughed, hugging him from behind as you pressed your lips between his shoulder blades. "Sorry, Thickems." You giggled as he huffed before letting him go and hopping onto the counter beside him.

"I'm done, I swear. But look, I wanted to ask you something." You spoke, catching Erik's attention as you lightly swung your feet. He cut off the stove and stood between your legs, his arms engulfing your waist and pulling you closer. "You seem nervous, if you wanna try anal just- OW!" He yelped, rubbing his chest as you punched him, your face frowned up as he laughed.

"Okay, baby. I'm done, I swear. What's on your mind?" He spoke, rubbing your thick thighs as you sighed. "We've been together for four months and I was thinking...it's time to meet the family." You spoke slowly as Erik looked at you.

It was quiet for a moment beford you heard him chuckling. "What's so funny, Erik?" He shook his head, laughing a little harder before leaning up and pecking your lips. "I'm just laughing at the fact you were really nervous." He spoke before laughing hysterically.

You rolled your eyes, shoving him off before beginning to walk away. Erik jogged after you, grabbing your waist and pulling you back into hid hard chest. "Wait, wait. Listen, Princess, if you really want me to meet them I will. And yes, I will be on my best behavior." Erik leaned forward, kissing your forehead as you smiled and hugged him.

"So, when am I meeting them, next week?" Erik inquired, walking back to the stove. "Tomorrow, at the barbeque." You spoke before rushing to his room and closing the door. "Y/N, WHAT?!"

_________________

"Erik, you're only meeting my mom, brother, aunts, uncles, nieces, nephews, and cousins. Not even all of them." You spoke as you applied your lip gloss. You pushed your long box braids over your shoulder before leaning over and taking Erik's face in your hands as he lightly chewed his lip. "They're going to love you, now come." You stepped out of the car, smoothing out your knee length, floral, yellow sundress before making your way to the backyard of your older brother's house, Erik in tow.

You turned around, not being surprised at the sight of Erik admiring you, from the box braids to the cute wedges you wore. "You sure we can't just get back in the car for 10 minutes, you look damn good, baby." He spoke, eyes raking over you as you rolled your eyes, holding in a smile.

You grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the gate, opening it before being met with the sight of kids running around, your aunts and mom dancing, your couins laughing with your brothers and your uncles playing cards.

The sound of the creaking gate caught your mom's attention and she squealed. "There's my baby!" She exclaimed, catching the attention of every one else. Your mom wrapped you in your arms, hugging you tightly as your brother rushed over, nearly pushing each other down.

"Look at big head, growing up!" Your oldest brother, Darren yelled as he reached out and wrapped you in his arms, your other three brothers caging you in a group hug. You giggled, breaking away from all of them as you turned and grabbed Erik's hand. "Hey guys, this is my boyfriend! Erik meet my mom, Elisa. My oldest bro Darren, Second oldest James, Third is Kenan, and last but not least is Dominic."

Your mom engulfed Erik in a hug before leaning to you, "Wow, he looks even bettee in person." You giggled and turned to your brothers, all of them staring him down. Your second oldest took a step forward, eyeing Erik before turning to his brothers.

"Oh, this the dude mom's been telling us about, I think she liked him more than you sis." He chucklee before reaching his hand out, "I'm James. You can call me J though, I hear you been taking good care of our little sister."

Erik chuckled as he shook his hand, looking to you. "Yeah, she deserves everything this world has to offer and more." He spoke dearly as you smiled, kissing his cheek as the other two youngest, oldest boys apporached, dapping him up.

Darren, however, moved back to go inside the house. You eyed him wearily before turning back to Erik who looked at you questionably. You shrugged. "Oh, boys, the family football game is about to start. Y'all should get changed!"

You squealed, turning to Erik. "Hey, what if Erik joined you guys? He's amazing, but he won't join the football team, no matter hoe many times I beg him." You roll your eyes he chuckles.

"Sound good, man! Come on, I got some clothes for you." Kenan spoke up, wrapping an arm around Erik's neck. Erik leaned over and gave you a quick kiss before making his way inside. "Meet you at the park!" You yelled as every one loaded up their cars. You reached into the pocket of your dress, grabbing Erik's car keys. "Wanna ride in a Jag, ma?" Yoh spoke, twirling the keys around your finger before laughing as your mom ran to the car, you right behind her.

_________________________

Everyone had already made their way to the park, Erik's currently chatting it up with your brothers in Darren's Lincoln.

"So, Y/N is just swinging, having a ball, then all of a sudden the curtain rod falls. The drywall comes out with it and Y/N lands in the tub. Mom is in the doorway, all of us behind her and little sis looks terrified. Mom just shakes her head and says, 'That was about a 6. But this ass whoopin'? This about to be a ten.' When I say ma snatched her up so fast. We'd never seen her move that quick!" Dominic laughed as he finished retelling a childhood story.

Everybody in the car was cracking up, everyone except Darren. "Man, Y/N stayed getting in trouble!" James spoke out as Darren parked the car.

Everyone hopped out, Darren pulled James to the side as everyone else walked out to the field, laughing and playing around. James looked at Darren. "What's up, bro?" Darren huffed, leaning against the car. "I'm just trying to figure out why y'all playing buddy, buddy with this nigga." James looked at him before shaking his head.

"Fuck is you on, man?" He asked while Darren scoffed. "This broad ass mofo just walks up with our baby sister and y'all just letting him waltz in? What kinda shit is that? You know what happened last time when we did that shit." Darren spoke, his voice raising.

James nodded, incredulously chuckling. "Is this what that fuck ass attitude is about? About a bitch ass nigga that hurt her? A bitch ass nigga that YOUR homeboy, if I remember correctly?"

Darren looked away, huffing before James continued. "Dude, not every guy dating sis is gonna do wht he did to her. Man, look at her, she's happy. She ain't even thinking about T's hoe ass." They both turned, seeing as you smiled at Erik, his arms around your waist as he kissed your cheeks repeatedly. You seemed to be squealing as he tickled you, trying to push his hands away as he pulled you closer.

Darren's gaze softened as he watched your smile grow wider, your eyes full of light. "Just give dude a chance, he makes Baby happy." James patted his older brother's shoulder before pulling him along.

Darren walked up to Erik, holding out his hand. "Hey, man. I'm Darren, sorry about earlier. Just wasn't feeling it." He spoke and you looked up at him, smiling softly as they dapped each other up. "All good man, I know how it is. Ready to get yo ass whooped though?" Erik spoke, taking Darren aback before he smirked. "Aye Nigga, don't think just because you dating my sis that I won't embarrass yo ass." You smiled at the both of them as they ran out to the field, making your way to your mom. "Darren's in a good mood, huh?" You spoke.

And she sipped her Coke before nodding. "Yeah, I expected him to be more gruff, escpecially since you know...T." She spoke sympathetically as she rubbed your leg. You took in a deep breath, looking over at them. "Yeah, well, Erik's nothing like him." You spoke. "We know, baby." You smiled at your mom, holding her hand as you crossed your legs.

______________________

The football game was going well. Erik, James, and a few of your cousins were up, Darren, Kenan, and Dominic close behind. The sun had gone down and you, your mom, Darren's girlfriend and his daughters had became opposing cheerleaders to your aunts, James' wife and their daughters as well as Kenan's daughter.

A quick break was called and the men and women parted, going to get water. You grabbed a cold bottle of water from the freezer and handed it to a now shirtless and sweaty Erik. He took it graciously, chugging half before smiling at you. "Having fun, baby?" He nodded, grabbing your waist and pulling you close.

You'd usually complain about him being sweaty but you were very slightly tipsy so that was a non-factor. "I am, Princess. Think I'm gonna have more fun with you though." You laughed as he leaned over, kissing your neck. The intimate moment was stopped as you heard yelling from behind you.

You and Erik pulled apart, the two of yoh making your way closer. "Fuck off me! This bitch coming around here acting like we good and he ain't try to fucking hurt my sister?!" You heard Dominic yelling as James held him back and your mom stood in front of him trying to calm him.

You grabbed Darren's arm and he looked at you. "What's going on?" Before Darren could speak you heard a familiar voice. "Move the fuck out my way. I ain't here for your punk ass." You turned and saw a very familiar face.

"T?" You spoke lightly and everyone looked at you, including him. Your body became rigid and your eyes cold as you looked at him. "Hey, Baby-..."

"Don't say shit to her!" Darren spoke up, pushing himself im front of T. Erik looked at him, they're eyes catching each other. "Erik Stevens? What you doin' around here?" You looked up at Erik as he pulled you to his chest.

"Always knew you was a punk didn't think you went for leftovers." T called out. Erik moved to jump at him but you pushed him back, shaking your head. "No, Erik, please." You spoke and he looked at you then back to T. "Go ahead, Y/N. Tell him how I fucked yo ass up that night, that was some good pussy right there."

Before anyone could stop you, you had lunged at T. Your heel slammed into his crotch before your hands pulled him down, his face hitting your knee. He fell on hid back and you dropped to your knees, punching him. Hit, after hit, after hit landed. You knuckles were bruised and bloody. "You. Fucking. Raped. Me." You spoke, punching him with each word.

T grabbed your fist, about to hit you before you were tugged off and Erik was pulling him up by his collar. Erik reeled his fist back, punching T repeatedly. "Don't fucking to her, nigga."

Darren pulled him off, letting T fall to the grass, bloodied and bruised face. James carried you to Erik's car and sat you in the passenger seat as you huffed. He shut the door and hopped in the back seat while Erik and Dominic rushed to get in the car.

You all pulled off with the rest of the family, making sure your mom and the children were safe. You looked ahead, the car silent as the four of you pulled up to the house. All of you hopped out, hugging everyone good bye as well as apologizing to them.

Once you and Erik said your goodbyes you two got in the car. It was still for a minute before Erik turned and grabbed your face. You squeaked before moaning as you leaned further into him. You lightly bit his bottom lip and he groaned, pressing his tongue into your mouth while his hand traveled under your dress.

Your hand stopped his, the two of you pulling away, panting. "Sorry, baby. But damn...you sexy as fuck when you mad." You laughed at Erik's comment, leaning over and pecking hid lips. "You are...a piece of work, Mr Stevens." You spoke.

You and Erik's eyes widened before he grinned, licking his lips. "And I’m all yours, mama. Now let's go home so I can tear that ass up." You giggled as he pulled off, speeding down the road. You smiled before sitting up. "Hold up nigga, you was about to fuck me in front of my mama house!'

________________

Das it! The fourth part is done! Like, reblog, comment, all that! Next part is the final part! Some tags still aren't working so make sure you share!

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[i-gotta-pencil]

I watched Into The Woods.. here's my thoughts :)

Just a heads up this contains spoilers for this show

Here's the version I was watching it's most of the OBC and it's proshot

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ACT 1

Thenarrator is in a modern suit I'm d y i n g

I don't like that the bakers wife that old

Jacks mom just kinda bugs me

Cinderella is pretty cool

Little red is a mood

I really like the step sisters dresses tho

I like the hair twisting part

I FUCKING STAN THE WITCH SJDJDJSKSK

I hate the wife :/

"I could've turned him into a stone. Or a chair. Or a jddhksak"

"I had a brother?" "NooOoO"

I really love the witch. She's so overdramatic and I would die for her.

SHE HIT HIS D I C K

SHE LEVITATES WHILE SCREAMING

Jack is a full ass adult

He also has daddy issues

He's also pretty I'd die for him

The step mother's dress is so pretty I want it

I like that the bakers wife is taller then him

Back to Jack he has to be like 6'1 atleast

I don't like little red's "Into the woods to grANdmother's house" she's trying tho so I can relate

CINDERELLAS MOM IN THE TREE. SHE'S JUST IN A TUBE IN A FAKE TREE

Cinderella dress falling? Iconic.

I love how dumb little red is cause mood

I absolutely hate hello little girl

I think the wolf has a dick and I don't stan

Little red reminds me of Shirley Temple

THE WOLF HAS A DICK WHAT THE FUCK

I love how much of a coward the baker is

He's also a dumbass so we stan

I hate the bakers wife so much

I like the set

Rapunzel is also a bit of a dumbass

Little Red is like the same height as the baker and she's wearing flats

I really like how little red delivers her lines cause she delivers them like her teacher forced her to be in the schools spring show

Her costume is also very cute

The baker kissed little red's cheek and she wiped it off and that made me laugh

Also jack is taller than his house

I live for Cinderellas dress for the festival

The bakers wife is a fucking hoe

I really like one midnight gone and I'm so mad it's not in the version were doing:(

I'd die for Jack's actor and that's the tea

Cinderellas prince looks like eddie redmayne

Both of the princes are snacks.

"mooo. mooOOoo"

Rapunzels a dumbass part 2

THE BAKERS WIFE IS SO MEAN

I love rapunzels outfit tho

I also high key love stay with me

The witch and rapunzels are like the only sopranos in this show but go off I guess

I know I'm supposed to hate the witch but you can't make me

I have a love hate relationship with the mysterious man

LITTLE RED'S LAUGH OMG

Also Jack is supposed to be either younger or the same age as Little Red and he is so much taller than her

Rapunzels Princes fall, scream, then another fall is a mood

I'd like to say again that Cinderellas dress is really pretty

Like I'm gonna be really disappointed when she goes back into her village outfit

"Ah don't do that"

The stewards hair makes me concerned

"Shut. Up"

"AhhhhhhhhhhAhAhAhAhAh"

The baker just picking up the cow the yelling that it's too heavy

That bakers little dances

I FUCKING LOVE THE WITCH SHE CAN FUCK ME UP

SHE'S A HOT THOT

CAREFUL MY TOE IS AMAZING

Cinderellas prince leaping onto the horse is a mood

RAPUNZELS PRINCR FUCKING TRIPPED AGAIN

The witch said tits out and I'm here for it

When her cane/wand broke in half smoke came out and I like that

I wish we did a "huge" dance thingy for our show in Ever After

There's like no dancing in our show and that makes me salty

ACT 2

Jacks a man now

Cinderellas queen dress is so pretty

One of the stepsister just full on ran into Cinderellas Prince

I also really like the stepfamily outfits (I haven't seen the dad's outfit yet but it normally sucks :/)

Rip the Baker' s house

THE WITCHES OUTFIT FOR ACT 2 ALSO FUCKS ME UP

I LOVE HER

"who you gonna tell?"

The bakers wife outfit is still the same as act 1 and I still hate it

"I haven't been OUTSIDE all day!"

"allRIGHT"

I just realized little red's wolf cape is just the whole wolf fur

I don't think I've mentioned how cool the stage is

Rapunzel just like me is easily frightened

Rapunzels whole character is just a mental breakdown

Agony (reprise) is a bop

RIP THE NARRATOR NOW THERE'S NO OUTSIDE VOICE

The giants voice bugs me

I really love Rapunzel entering by screaming cause mood

RIP RAPUNZEL WITH YOU DYING HERE I GET TO SIT BACKSTAGE FOR LIKE AN HOUR. YOU ALSO CAUSE THE BOP OF WITCH'S LAMNET.

RIP JACK'S MOM YOU WERE KINDA A BITCH TO JACK. BUT YOUR DEATH WAS DEFINITELY THE STUPIDEST.

this is the only moment the wife is caring and she's gonna die in like 2-3 songs

HERE'S THE WIFE IS A FUCKING CHEATER SONG

Tbh the only reason why I don't like Any Moment is because I like the guy who plays Cinderellas Prince in our show and I might be jealous but shhhh

THEY GONNA FUCK

RIP CINDERELLAS MOTHERS GRAVE. I LIKED HOW IT WAS SET UP.

I still really love Cinderella and I guess this outfit is ok...

I really like the wife's hair down and it's only been down for like 1 song and she's gonna die soon

I really like her song tho. It's really fun to act out

But she still is a bitch during it sooo...

RIP BAKERS WIFE I ABSOLUTELY HATE YOUR CHARACTER. AND YOU HAVE NO REDEEMING QUALITIES BUT YOUR DEATH SCENE IS KINDA COOL.

I really like how nonchalant the witch says that the wife is dead

I LOVE YOUR FAULT OML

I like that little red was running around throughout it to place blame

Jack and little red shove off is great

I also wanna know where the baby went

I ALSO LOVE LAST MIDNIGHT

Jack hid behind Cinderella and little red even tho he's like 6'1

I FOUND THE BABY

I love the witchs cape

RIP WITCH YOU WERE ONE OF MY FAVORITES. YOU WENT OUT WITH A BOOM SQUISH!

The bakers outfit looks like the dad from full house

No more just rips out my heart and stomps on it

Little red's jump when she says I'm excited

No one can hold the baby correctly can they?

Cinderella throwing shade at the Prince

I love the mother/daughter relationship between Cinderella and Little Red

I'd like to restate how much I love Little Red's costume

No One is Alone is going to make me cry

I just realized Little Red's skirt is poofy enough to do like a fallout spiny thing when she turns

I like how the baker does little affectionate things to the baby

Fuck the bitch is back again and her hairs back up

But the witch is back too so :)

I like the slight vocalizing behind the witchs solo bit in children will listen

I like the ending choreography

The baby is lost again

The show is over the end.

[bitchiscrazy69-blog]

"I got a ho"😂 can't turn a hoe into a house wife🤷🏻‍♀️