#Casually dumps tons of posts

[ricksoo]

Yall I'm back

You know what this means... :3

[herejusttosufferalong]

New thought on Italy, and this interview:

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTNARhEfx/

Maybe after S3 filming (and after L & J broke up) L & N got together - maybe it was around June, at the time of L's TSOT play, when the IG pic was taken of them looking cozy post show (the one that got 1 million likes). But maybe they decided to take it slow and date other people since L was fresh out of a relationship and to make sure it was real, not the characters. Then, N got busy with her Barbie premiere, BTON Brazil trip, Big Mood promo and Doctor Who while L, instead of working, started partying with his friends which turned N off. L started casually dating A and on NYE was caught kissing her which *really* turned N off so, she pulled away... Not long after, the BTON press tour started and L wanted N back. He knows he F'd up and it's clear his feelings hadn't gone away and had gotten even stronger (My dude is obsessed)...

So, cut to this interview in Italy (we all know the Italy interviews are fraught with conflict). N states that if she were Pen's friend she'd tell her to dump Colin. L asks when Colin comes back (after he's changed) if Pen's friend would tell her that he missed his chance and N's response is that Pen's friend would tell her to forget that guy because they are plenty of dudes in the Ton 😬. He agrees and gives an uncomfortable laugh.

Wait a minute... are they are talking about Polin, or Lukola cause I can't tell anymore?

#alwaysblurringlines #whatfriends #missedhischance

.

[sassyfrassboss]

I can no longer find the article but--

Rumor tracking anon here - I don't have *that* article but I do have one from Vanity Fair about the 2017 BAFTAs (and Kate's first time accompanying William). I bookmarked the article because there's a line about Meghan in that is so wildly out of place that it made me verrrry suspicious about her:

We have high hopes for Kate and William’s (oh yeah, William is there, too, in a tux) night at the BAFTAs. Will they recreate the La La Land poster pose alongside Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling? Will Kate reference Meghan Markle in overheard conversation (“My future sister-in-law is an actress, as you may or may not have heard, so . . .”)? And will Meryl Streep and Kate Middleton pose together, enabling a flood of “one royal meeting another” captions to be posted on Twitter?

In the grand scheme of things, Meghan in February 2017 was *not* important enough to be worthy of this kind of throwaway comment in the same breath as all those people. So then why would Vanity Fair do this? Always rubbed me the wrong way. But now, hindsight being 20/20, it tells us a lot.

I'm fairly certain that this is around when Sunshine Sachs and Vanity Fair were negotiating Meghan's cover because it's the first time her name was dropped with all these A-List celebs. I do think it's part of "everyone loves classy" but it's such a random throwaway it slipped under the radar. (And specifically my gut is telling me that the "my future sister-in-law" part was Meghan or Sunshine fishing for an invite to Pippa's wedding among other A-list freebies.)

Here's the link. https://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/02/kate-middleton-prince-william-baftas-alexander-mcqueen

Hey love! How are you!?

Thanks for this! Can you imagine Catherine EVER talking about a woman she had only met once by this point? HAHA!

Plus Harry and Meghan had only been dating for 6 months at this point and 90% of that was long distance.

There were a ton of articles around this time about Meghan and Catherine. Many of which were about how Meghan would be much more suited to the role of Duchess or even Queen than Catherine ever would.

So this was also right around the time that the rumors on Tumblr started that Harry & Meghan had split up after she had been escorted out of the UK a few weeks prior. The rumors were that she took photos of the Wales kids and was caught. Charles had her escorted out of KP and to the airport sometime in December or early January. It is said that Harry dumped her because she wasn't worth the drama she was causing with his family. Later when she flew out to Skippy's wedding, which she is said to have been given a passing casual verbal invitation at a house party, and then she and Harry slightly reconciled but she was still chasing after him to get his attention back. They fought a ton on that trip apparently. Which proves true from the beach photos that were taken. It was right after this she shut down her blog and IG and claimed she quit Suits for Harry.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Re-reading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

Hi, Hello, Welcome! The conceit of these posts is pretty self-explanatory. I read the Lord of the Rings for the first time at age 17, in the middle of my parent's divorce (it was messy, we're not going into any details). Needless to say, I remember pretty much nothing about that read, and I would like to give the books a fair shake of a re-read. That's what this is, and there will be spoilers throughout!

I usually do full-book reviews, but if ever I was going to do a chapter-by-chapter re-read, it would be for LotR. The rules are that I'm going in as blind as I possibly can (I have watched the movies and have absorbed like...a reasonable amount of lore from existing on the internet as a millennial) and I'm not doing any research beyond like, defining words for myself as I read. So here we go, and I hope you enjoy rereading with me! Let's talk "The Shadow of the Past."

Good LORD JRR Tolkien can lore dump when he wants to. This chapter was mainly lore dump, which is fine because it was at least interesting lore dump. I'm not a lore girly though, I'm a character girly, so let's go with "we got the One Ring's backstory, now let me talk about other characters because the Ring isn't one just yet."

This is going to sound initially harsh, but it is said with affection: Gandalf is 1000% the pedantic asshole professor who is way too into the Socratic method who you absolutely detest in undergrad but somehow his classes still end up sticking with you more than any other. You then get to understand this prof better as a master's student, and deeply love this prof as a PhD. That's literally the vibe I'm getting from his lecture to Frodo about finding some goddamn pity and compassion for the tragedy that is Smeagol and Gollum. Because it is VERY easy to judge and be critical in the abstract, which Frodo very much is, having never encountered Gollum, and Gandalf has spent time and effort tracking down Gollum with way more background knowledge with which to contextualize the layers of tragedy that Gollum personifies and affects. It's a big ask, to get people to abstract compassion (and do not come in here and argue with me about this, I live in 20-goddam-24, I know what I'm talking about), but Gandalf kind of doesn't let it go with Frodo until Frodo at least softens his position and is open to, if not at, compassion. I've been a student and I've been a teacher, and these conversations are hard from both directions, so kudos to Gandalf for sticking with it, and to Frodo for getting to a place where he was truly listening.

Especially after Gandalf just CASUALLY DROPS that Gollum literally ATE BABIES. I'm not even kidding, he just casually, in the midst of an infodump on Gollum's time tracking Bilbo after losing the Ring, says,

The woodsmen said that there was some new terror abroad, a ghost that drank blood. It climbed trees to find nests, it crept into holes to find young, it slipped through windows to find cradles.

AND THEN WE JUST CASUALLY MOVE ON LIKE BABY EATING ISN'T SOMETHING WE NEED TO ADDRESS HERE. I would like to address the baby eating, Gandalf!!!

Despite not addressing the baby eating though, there was some interesting new information in the Gollum infodump that I understand why it got cut from the movies, but I was low-key fascinated. Smeagol was specifically noted to be interested in roots. Gandalf framed that like literal tree and mountain roots, but this is Tolkien we're talking about. Roots have a metric ton of metaphorical meanings too, and the fact that Smeagol was interested in the origins of things, in where they came from, in what made them as they are, is both deeply ironic and deeply interesting. I kind of hope we do more with that, since becoming Gollum is like ouroborosing roots; Smeagol's interest in Gollum is deeply self-reflexive, which might also be how we end up with that bifurcated personality thing. I dunno, but that would be really cool to follow up on.

I also deeply appreciated Frodo's "WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK" reaction to realizing that Gandalf had let him keep the One Ring for so long. Notably, Gandalf kind of doesn't explicitly apologize for putting Frodo at risk, but he does acknowledge that yes, yes he made a choice, took a risk, and put Frodo in some level of danger. I suppose we'll take it, even as we acknowledge that yes, Gandalf was working with imperfect, incomplete information. We do the best we can with what we know at the time, or something. And if it took 20-odd years to figure all of this out (which makes sense for the kind of field and archival work required here), then y'know what, better late than never.

That said, Gandalf also kind of...LIGHTLY SKATES OVER the fact that even just possessing the Ring and doing nothing with it for 20 years has affected Frodo. He's not aging. He can't cast it away. He's already caught. Right at the beginning, in CHAPTER TWO of this massive trilogy, it's not a matter of preventing Frodo from being caught by the ring. It's a matter of how long Frodo can resist. He was doomed before anyone knew, concretely, that there was a problem. And jaysus, if that isn't how you tee up a tragedy, I don't even know how you do that. Maybe there wasn't a good reason for Gandalf to say that to Frodo, maybe it would have hurt more than it helped, but I do kind of think PERHAPS YOU MIGHT POINT THIS OUT???

I get the sense that I'm going to be very back-and-forth on book Gandalf...this is going to be an interesting thing to watch develop as I keep reading.

In addition to Gandalf's "Backstory Via The Socratic Method 101" course, we also get some additional Samwise Gamgee in this chapter. Saying "I adore this hobbit and he should be protected at all costs" is not new or even interesting, so let's take a different tack. In the films, Sam's excitement for going to see the elves is...ungrounded. It's a thing about him that we just accept. I deeply relate to and adore the sense we get of why and how the elves thing comes about in the book:

He believed he had once seen and Elf in the woods, and still hoped to see more one day. Of all the legends that he had heard in his early years such fragments of tales and half-remembered stories about the Elves as the hobbits knew, had always moved him most deeply.

This might seem ungrounded, but it's deeply aware of how stories work. Sam knows that the hobbits don't have the extent of Elven lore that exists, but he knows that there is a magic and a power in even the fragments they have, and that captured his imagination to such an extent that a yearning to see, to understand, to know that magic, was born in his heart. That grounds Sam in stories just as much as Frodo is grounded in stories, and more than that, Sam WANTS the magic to be real in a way that Frodo, primed on all the tragedy by Gandalf, I don't actually think does. Frodo is "I wish it need not have happened in my time," but Sam is "Me go and see the Elves and all."

That "and all" at the end is particularly poignant, because if Sam knows some of the stories of the elves, I have to imagine a few tragic tales survived along with the magical ones, so Sam isn't going starry-eyed into this as a bumblefuck gardener from nowhere. There's an acceptance there of the magic that encompasses all that magic offers, both good and bad. Yeah, I'm probably over-reading into this, but I support it at least a little with the fact that at the beginning of the chapter, we're with Sam when the hobbits down the pub are talking about strange beings and creatures and *foreshadowing the ents*. Sam knows that the stories tell of more than just elves, but for him, that wonder is enough to warrant everything else. No, I am not taking criticism (constructive or otherwise) at this time.

Other than a wee shoutout to the legendary "Mad Baggins"--and let's be real, if history must become myth and myth must become legend, I want Mad Baggins to stay alive and not be forgotten--that's about all I have for this chapter. Professor Gandalf shows up to school Frodo and kick his ass out the door, and Sam gets to go see the elves. We'll pick up again next time with chapter 3.

[tjemegames]

This blog is tailored towards dark mode: some visuals may not be visible on white backgrounds.

Hey, y’all. I’m finally starting this side blog because I wanted a casual space to talk about gacha gaming.

You can call me TJ (they/she)! I’m a long time lover of video games who has stumbled into the gacha world in the last couple years.

I’m a huge advocate for Honkai: Star Rail! I’m slowly grinding my way through Wuthering Waves. I’m also playing a bit of Genshin Impact and Reverse: 1999 when the mood calls for it.

I’ll be posting all sorts of things related to my playthrough experiences within the aforementioned games (primarily HSR since it’s my favorite), as well as any other gachas that I decide to give a try. You can expect to see ramblings about storylines, pull results, gameplay showcases, character builds, fics/artwork (i.e. if the brainrot gets too severe for me to keep to myself), and more!

This blog is a honestly just a dump site for my gacha-related yapping: a.k.a. my way of saving irl friends from having to listen to me ramble about things they don’t understand/aren’t all that interested in. You should check out my Tag Navigation Masterpost for easier traversal of the place!

I’m also on YouTube now! I created the channel to host videos that are too large for Tumblr; they will always be cross-posted to my blog with whatever additional content/commentary/insight I may have for them. I doubt that I’ll be posting there too often (as of now), but you’re more than welcome to subscribe if you’d like.

If you’re a returning HSR player, please consider using my invitation code when you decide to come back (I’m begging — I need every stellar jade I can get.)

Game UIDs/Friend Codes (always down for more pals to co-op with) and links to my most commonly used tools/resources are under the cut.

Any text dividers that you see on my blog (that I didn't make myself) were made by the lovely @saradika-graphics. You should check out her blog, she makes tons of cute things that are free to use!

Thanks for stopping by!

Game UIDs & Friend Codes

HSR: NA - 600433643 (Dracorian) / EU - 702423969 (Celestia)

WuWa: NA - 500214126

Genshin: NA - 650062088 / EU - 751038014

r1999: NA - 401382294

Tools & Resources

HSR

Fribbels Honkai Star Rail Optimizer / Relic Scorer

Prydwen's HSR Characters List (build guides)

StarDB Achievement Tracker

HoYoLAB HSR Leveling Calculator

WuWa

Prydwen's WuWa Characters List (build guides)

Genshin

Enka.Network / Akasha System

[seriouslycromulent]

Ok. So I know I'm late to the conversation, but let's just say that I'm disappointed, although not surprised to read casually racist comments on YouTube posts about Billy Spencer and the revelation that Eliot Spencer's dad is black.

I say not surprised because I wasn't born yesterday, and I've learned from years of being a Star Trek fan that even if a show centers around uniting across cultures, features a multicultural cast, and spreads a message of fighting bad guys in every form, bigots will still gravitate toward that fandom and lose their shit if a person of color is centered in a space that the bigot assumes a white person "should have" been centered.

Why?

Because the fandom world is just a microcosm of all the bitchassness that exists in the world overall. The global society we live in is brimming with racism, homophobia, xenophobia, misogyny and a myriad of other forms of bigotry. And that reality will always be reflected in fandom because bigots are often oblivious and carry their prejudice with them wherever they go ... including into the fandom world.

Now I don't know the age of the person who claimed that hiring Keith David to play Eliot's dad was a sign of "everything having to be politically correct these days," but if I didn't know any better, I would've thought I had been transported back to the 1990s and was engaging with Al Bundy on Married with Children.

Seriously? People are still using the phrase "politically correct" without a hint of irony? I thought bigots had moved on to calling everything that doesn't center straight, white, cis, able-bodied people as "woke." I guess this person just likes the classics.

Nevermind that we rarely, if ever, see transracial adoption depicted on American television when the child is white. Nevermind that the series has always had a theme around found family from different backgrounds working together to bring a little more justice into an unjust and unfair world. Nevermind that we waited 6.5 seasons to learn more about Eliot's background, and all we learned was that he was adopted, his parents are black, and why he and his dad fell out and hadn't spoken in over 2 decades.

No. Bigots are mad because a white person has black parents on a fictional series because it didn't fit their preferred narrative.

Leverage is not a show without flaws, but it has always been a show that challenged the status quo, behind the scenes and in the stories they tell. Your discomfort after learning that Eliot was raised by black parents is a reflection of your bias and skanky race issues regarding BIPOC folks, and you should examine that further. Not search for facile excuses to hide your bigotry behind other "reasons" to dislike the episode. You're fooling no one.

And the adoption story of Eliot Spencer was not "forced." It was simply not telegraphed with clues at every opportunity because Eliot plays everything close to the vest, especially his past. It's completely on brand for him, and if you cared about this character, you wouldn't have a problem with it and would acknowledge the consistency of him never referencing it.

As for the people who think that the writers just dumped his entire backstory on us in one episode, what show are you watching? There's plenty more to Eliot's background than who his dad is and why they fell out. And I bet if his dad was white, these so-called fans would've raced to their keyboards to write countless fanfic backstories to Eliot's life growing up in a small town, how he navigated high school especially with being adopted, and his life, in general, prior to joining the military. All the while taking the information from the episode to craft a layered history of his life.

There's a ton of stories out there to tell about Eliot Spencer, but a lot of the bigots fans are now deflated because that means they have to write a story with black parents and they don't want to do that. But I bet every single one of them will swear they're not racist or bigots or anti-black in any way.

Racism in fandom is not new, but I honestly expected more from the Leverage fandom. Granted, I know it's not everyone in the fandom. And you can argue it's not even the majority, but I've seen very little pushback from the fans who don't have a problem with Billy Spencer being black against the fans who do have a problem with Billy Spencer being black. And that too is very telling.

[woltourney]

ROUND 2 / SIBE B / POLL 8

Vastha Mhakaracca (@incense-and-iron) v. Amor Valentine (@chocobotism)

Vastha Mhakaracca:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Vastha Mhakaracca [He/They]

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Miqote - Keeper of the Moon

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. Main classes: Dragoon, Dark Knight, Monk, Reaper, Dancer

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. N/A

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. I'm a happy guy! Like to entertain my friends and put a smile on other people's faces. I ended up becoming a hero after following (partly) in my mother's footsteps-- she was a lancer and gave me her old lance when I wanted to leave home to adventure. It kind of broke ages ago… but I still have it! So she shouldn't be too mad about it. Hopefully, heh. Uh, anyway, I enjoy dancing and have tons of experience in managing and entertaining people since my family runs a small inn on the side of some nameless road. As for liking being a hero… it's complicated; as much as I really wish it wasn't that way. It use to be so easy and fun. Simple, even. There was still danger of course, but… I dunno. Fighting five giant ladybugs doesn't really match up in danger levels as the types of things I've been up too as of late [[<-- post EW content]]. Not to mention all the worst parts of having so much on your shoulders, things I really don't want to get into for such a fun event. B-But, don't take it as if I don't want to be a hero!! I can do it, so I want to do it. And it's not a 'If I don't do it, no one will', either. I think there are people who definitely could and would. People who have pulled way more weight through all this than I have. Even so, with all the pain and trouble I've been though, it's worth it at the end of the day. Knowing that I've helped so many people, that I have the power to keep the worst at bay, that I can make a change in the world and have that change try and be something good and positive and kind: that's what makes me like such a dangerous and oftentimes thankless job. Free time? Well, there's: dancing, cooking [[Culinarian is at level 90]], tending to my new island hangout, I've been doing LOTS of sightseeing-- Oh! I LOVE taking pictures and doing photography. Mostly of landscapes, they're just easier for me to work with than people; not to say I don't snap pictures of my friends now and again. What else… Oh! I've been taking up other crafting jobs as well since I have the spare time. It gives me something to keep my hands busy and lets me go out and collect more plants and rocks. I always liked going out to collect random stuff, but some of my older sisters, who I ended up bullied into hiring on as retainers so they could keep tabs on me away from home, got tired of me dumping popotos and iron ingots onto them to figure out how to sell en mass every week. I saw nothing wrong with it, but it really just must be me. Hmm… A lot more stuff about me is kind of personal. While I'm a rather open guy and like to chat, there's even some stuff I don't like talking about too casually or with strangers, sorry! Maybe we can be friends? I'm always open to new friends! Let's talk more sometime, okay?

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. Why should I win? Oh man, I just think it'd be neat! "Vastha Mhakaracca, winner of the…" uh, what was this called again? Oh, right! "winner of the WoLTourney 2023!" Could even put that on my little adventure card thingy just for fun.

q. Anything else you wanna add? a. Some other facts about Vastha he didn't get to cover himself: Transmasc [he/they] and gay (despite all the handsome bachelors in game, he hasn't fallen for more past a short lived crush or two.) He has 4 older sisters, making him the youngest in the family He use to be more meek and shy, which turned to 'all talk no bite', which turned out to now where he's more mellow and friendly but will not hesitate to throw hands if someone starts something He actually likes to do fetch quests because it lets him explore local areas to take more pictures Vastha comes off as a bit of a dunce and a ~stoopid widdle catboi~ to people because he likes to have fun and goof around like he use too (before all the horrors (tm) of being an adventurer). He notices, but doesn't comment on it. He'd rather people keep thinking it and underestimate him so he can prove them wrong through action. And with so much life experience now, he really doesn't care what others think of him anymore; he knows himself and that's all he can control in life. Despite being so giddy and friendly, the man does have some things he dislikes a normal degree, and other things (and people) he hates with the rage of a thousand suns-- which upon mention of will immediately switch his mood to more sour and serious. It's rare to stumble across such topics, thankfully.

Amor Valentine:

q. What is your WoL name and pronouns? a. Amor Valentine (they/them)

q. What is your WoL's species? a. Au Ra (Xaela)

q. What is your WoL's class? Or classes? a. ARR: Lancer/Dragoon; HW-present: DRK main, MCH for yeehaw

q. What data centre/server are you on, if you want people to find you? a. N/A

q. Tell us a bit about your WoL! a. Amor is just a guy carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders despite it all. They care deeply for their friends and family, have a special interest in chocobos, and are full of love for the world they protect. Though a force to be reckoned with in the heat of battle, in day-to-day life they can be quite timid. A traumatic childhood event left them an orphan with no memory of their past, but they were found and raised by a Duskwight woman in Dravania, near Tailfeather. Amor was considered a strange child by most Tailfeather residents (#UndiagnosedAutism), but they ignored it as best they could while focusing their attention on the chocobos their mother would catch and train. On their 20th nameday, they left home to explore the world and hopefully learn about their past, and oops! Hydaelyn's chosen! They then proceed to become the Champion of Eorzea and save the world a bunch of times, with varying levels of enthusiasm. Though always willing to do whatever is needed to protect the realm, they are prone to becoming weary of it all. At best, they'll grin and bear it. At worst, they can become resentful and bitter towards their position in life (see: DRK). Thankfully, spending time with loved ones helps mitigate this negativity. They are taking a well earned rest after the events of Endwalker, but are prepared to dive back into the fray should the world need them. They are fond of foraging when they have the opportunity, and their special interest in chocobos lends itself well to breeding and competing at the Gold Saucer. Sometimes, they give in to the irresistible urge to run around open landscapes before rolling around on the ground.

q. Why should YOU win? (Answer IC!) a. Umm… a vote for me is a vote for the eorzean autism alliance :)

[eegasleega-will-change-this-l8r]

Ninten ninten ninten!!!

So this is my version of Ninten haha

God I literally cannot draw him 80% of the time so it's nice to actually have one turn out good (it's so hard to not accidentally make him look really stupid or really obnoxious ><)

He's pretty much entirely based off what I came up with in my head after playing the game and thinking about how I imagined the characters' personalities, so it's pretty different from the usual takes on him

Design details and a flood of headcanons below :D

So I wanted him to be very distinct from Ness!! There's similarities like the black hair and the clothing palettes, but otherwise nobody would look at my Ninten and Ness and confuse them for each other

Personality-wise holy fudge do I have a ton of stuff on him

He does have a hat but I only sometimes draw him with it (unlike Ness who refuses to go anywhere without it :3)

His overall shape is wayyy different to Ness's, very scrawny and straight while Ness is all round and squishy

Shirt's blue with a yellow collar, a single yellow stripe on the middle, and yellow edges to the sleeves

He looks a lot like his great grandmother ;)

and also pee-wee herman but that's not as profound

Ninten is a bright and relentlessly optimistic young boy from rural Eagleland

You can call him Pollyanna, say he's crazy as a loon, but he believes in silver linings and that's why he believes in you :)

So my main thing with how I imagine Ninten is that he's, like, almost the sole source of light in the story. How I see the rest of the world is super drab and bleak, pretty much everyone just perpetually down in the dumps (i'll get into this more when I make posts about the other characters!!) And then this kid shows up, and he's full of hope and compassion, and he makes everyone he meets start to realize "maybe everything isn't so bad after all…?" No wonder the final boss is literally the ultimate case of repressed feelings and angst lol

He started showing psychic abilities from a pretty early age, making friends with animals and moving small objects with his mind

He mostly gets his love of baseball from his Dad, but because he's forced to work away from home almost all the time, Ninten's Mom practices with him and takes him to games instead

He has two much younger sisters, Minnie and Mimmie (half-baked headcanon that her name's actually Mimi and she just doesn't know how to pronounce it XD) who cares about a lot, and he often ends up looking after them whenever their Mom's out

He's a pretty great babysitter because of this, takes a lot of babysitting jobs around town, and he's a huge mom friend to the party

Of course he loves penguins too :3

Mostly listens to cheesy upbeat pop songs and rock music, but there's not really any music he actively dislikes

Favorite video games? Uhhh he's more outdoorsy and physically active but he'd like casual retro stuff like the first Mario

He's not super popular at school, because he's the weird buck-toothed dweeby kid who never shuts up about hope and optimism and penguins, but he's not unpopular at least. The bullies learned pretty quick not to mess with him, and DEFINITELY not to mess with anyone else when he's around!!

He's super friendly and prefers to solve things peacefully but he will absolutely not hesitate to clobber a jerk upside the head with his bat

He owns his own tuxedo that he likes to wear at "formal events" (birthday parties and school picture days)

yeah he's a real goober

He never lets up in his hope but god did the Mountain and everything that happened after take their toll on him

I don't have anything on him during the events of Earthbound haha, as far as I'm concerned he was taking a well-deserved nap and that adventure was all Ness's

I also don't connect him at all to Ness, the only bridge between the stories in my mind is Giygas

And here's the sketch I based the digital art off of ^^

[whimsicalpoet44]

My fourth house profection year is already fourth house profectioning. (is that even a word?)

Cycle breaker probs, am I right?

Anyways...since I'm feeling unhinged and chaotic from an unwarranted interaction with my mother tonight, here's a new post 😂

Placements in my mother's birth chart that explain why I'm traumatized 😂 and how it affected my birth chart (An actual visualization of generational trauma in a birth chart + how our placements interacted)

I know some people don't like to share their personal placements for various valid reasons. But I've always been an open book and like to use myself as an example to help make things make sense, since I can explain how it's applicable really easily. It's the teacher Sag traits. And I don't mind it.

I'll give a trigger warning, since I'm talking about generational trauma. But I don't go into heavy detail about it (besides ineffective communication styles). Just casual mention of the area of life it's related to.

**Note: If you have these placements, know that having these absolutely do not mean you're a bad person or are bound to traumatize someone. I'm simply showing how a parent/child birth chart can correlate. It also can show how unhealed placements can react. Not everyone with these same placements acts this way. This is just how it reacts with my mom's personality and experiences. This is simply for fun and synastry. + to give a literal visualization of generational trauma in the birth chart **

I also hope this doesn't come off as insensitive. But if I don't laugh, I'll cry. I tried to keep it humorous, while offering a subjective and objective take simultaneously. And I like to see different ways placements can play out. Because they can play out completely differently per person. So I figured I would share it for anyone whose fascinated by this stuff like I am.

💥Aries Sun (mom) vs. Sagittarius Sun (me). These placements are usually seen as a great pair...however in a parent-child relationship, it was a nightmare (for my circumstances. Obviously this could be great for someone else). A lot of expectations were placed on me, and if I didn't answer her or react to her in a timely manner, it was catastrophic. Of course, I had a ton of leadership qualities and this angered her. She wanted to control me. I valued my freedom. I needed freedom. She could NOT handle the idea that I was my own person with my own identity and tried to live out her ego through me.

💥Aries Moon (mom) vs. Pisces Moon (me). I soaked up EVERYTHING. I could feel subliminal shifts in the air, and I was constantly accommodating her emotions. She would rage based on her mood and then would quickly forget she ever did it. She would treat me as if nothing had ever happened. As a Pisces Moon, this was so confusing for me. I was super sensitive and feared rejection. I was also really passive, which allowed her to dominant my emotions. She trauma dumped on me constantly. And I allowed her to because I was really compassionate and craved approval. The positives of Aries Moon would shine through every once in while, but it rarely benefitted me. (Cause I was the scapegoat). In fact, I would use the manipulative side of Pisces to shift her emotions to try to keep myself safe. It took years to unlearn this.

💥Aries Mercury (mom) vs. Sagittarius Mercury (me). We both did well thinking on our feet. We were both able to sustain the stamina needed to engage each other in arguments. I had a DEEP innate sense of justice (hello neurodivergency and Sag), while she had a narrow way of thinking. The goal was never to expand her mind, it was to win the battle of wits. Which she rarely did. I paid deeply for that 😂 but it was worth the satisfaction. Had she healed and worked on her self-growth, she could've been a fierce advocate for herself, me, and others. Instead, she cared solely about being right. I love Aries Mercury individuals, because they have so many strengths. But when someone only cares to control others, the negative traits are fiercely obvious. She also took my need to question the world as questioning her authority, so that was fun. It took a while to undo the habit of playing mind games for me, too (which Sag mercury is great at lol).

💥Pisces Mars (mom) vs. Sagittarius Mars (me). She'd make threats and fail to follow through on them. This placement might've been good for her if her Chiron wasn't also in Pisces...in the 5th house. *blinks aggressively* One of Pisces Mars' strengths is to express anger and emotion through a creative outlet. With a wound in her house of creativity and the sign of imagination....well, yeah. With Mars in Sag in the 12th, I was great at following through on my words and I definitely had a creative outlet for all of the pent up aggression. I think she got jealous of this at times.

💥Scorpio Rising (mom) vs. Capricorn Rising (me). Ahahahahah I'm just going to sit here and laugh at this one. No wonder it was always volatile. She was constantly transforming and I was constantly seeking structure. I was also big on accountability. She was ruled by the planet of death, destruction, and transformation. I was ruled by the planet of authority, accountability, and boundaries.

To make it clear, most of my friends are Scorpio risings and we work excellent together. We provide insight and have really similar life experiences in very different ways. In a healthy parent-child relationship, this is probably a great pairing. But a toxic one?? AHAHAH. Especially if the parent is constantly changing and the child is seeking structure (in an unhealthy environment). I imagine in a healthy dynamic, Scorpio Rising parents can provide their children with valuable life skills by teaching them resilience and adaptability.

💥Saturn in the 4th House (mom) vs. Saturn in the 3rd House (me). The 4th house is the house of family, home, and the mother. When I say my grandma was awful? oof. My mom definitely had mommy issues (but alas, so do I). She literally had blockages and hardships in the family & home. I was the family and home 😂 She also dealt with an incredible amount of trauma as a child. I really do feel for her. I can even excuse some of what she did if she just tried to be better now. She has the resources available to her to grow and heal, and she knows they're there and actively chooses not to use them. THAT is what I have a hard time with.

With my Saturn in the 3rd, I find it hard to connect with others. I have issues feeling like my voice holds power. A lot of the wounding with Saturn in the 3rd comes in childhood. It can also indicate issues with siblings. My brother and I had different childhood experiences because of our age gap. We had totally different parents even though we were raised by the same people. Part of that is because my Dad died when I was so young (LOL @ my Sun in the 12th).

Connecting Generational Trauma

Now here is where I can start drawing really cool parallels. Try to stay with me. I'll explain it the best I can.

My IC 4th House is in Aries, which is my mom's sun sign. IC In Aries indicates a volatile relationship in the home and family, often having an aggressive parental figure. Which it was.

Now, my Lilith is in Cancer. Cancer rules the 4th House. Cancer Lilith's are largely known for working through ancestral trauma on the maternal side. My mom's Saturn is also in the 4th house, indicating ancestral trauma from the maternal side.

My Chiron is in Libra. My North Node is in Libra. And my Lilith is in the 7th House. Libra and the 7th house are the house/sign of relationships. Usually affiliated with romantic relationships, but it can highlight other relationships as well. This is significant because my Lilith in Cancer in the 7th House is indicating a wounded relationship with the mother (among other things, but I'm focusing on this part).

However, my mom has had a long and toxic history regarding her romantic partners. Her Venus is in the 7th House. Which is an interesting observation to note as well.

Overall, this is LITERALLY a visual example of generational trauma being passed down in a birth chart. I think it's kinda neat.

ANOTHER observation is that her Venus is in Taurus in the 7th House. My Saturn in my placidus chart is in the 2nd house...which is the house of Taurus. My mom's side has a long history of toxic marriages. Something, I'm currently working through. Where my Lilith also is. WILD.

Additionally, my brother's Lilith is in Aries (my mom's sun sign) in the 7th House (same house as mine). TELL ME THAT'S NOT WILD. My brother's Saturn placement is also in the 2nd in his Placidus, like mine.

It gets even more bizzare. My brother's daughter has her Chiron in Pisces in the 5th. Literally handing that down to her from my mom.

This is why I love astrology. Back to observations.

💥We both have Neptune in the 1st. Neptune in the 1st is prone to being projected on. We projected our insecurities on one another, often making rash assumptions.

💥Her Chiron is in Pisces in the 5th. Her Jupiter is in Pisces in the 5th. This indicates that her luck and abundance is directly tied to her Chiron wound. And if she avoids working on it....well...yeah. And she had really terrible luck, ngl.

💥Her IC 4th House (the house of home | family | mother) is in Aquarius. My brother is an Aquarius Sun and stellium. I'm flabbergasted. My niece's IC is also in Aquarius.

Conclusion

There's a lot more, but that's just a few examples. I think it's neat.

This wasn't meant to be a trauma dump. Rather, a generational examination of birth charts. It helped me process some stuff too. And I figured others might find it helpful.

I joke a lot about my placements being awful and terrible, but I really do like them. I think it's just because I'm processing. And I like to joke.

I don't know who I'd be without my 12th house | Neptune in the 1st | Cap Rising placements. They make me who I am. And I like the strengths that come with them, even if it's isolating at times.

Some people find superiority in having extremely hard placements, by using them to discount others experiences. I will never do that and if I do, please call me on it.

But it's important to note that in astrology, there just are really difficult placements. It's bound to happen. And we each get some.

Every single birth chart will have challenging placements. Every single one.

it's just that some people end up with a little (or a lot) more than others. And sometimes, I believe, that it might be attributed to generational trauma.

So there you have it. An analysis of generational trauma across 3 generations in astrology. I wish I had my grandma's birth time just to see. But if you have your parents charts, I HIGHLY recommend looking at them. It can help you understand some of your placements a little more.

Also, if anyone disagreed with this analysis, I'd love to hear why. I love learning how others interpret.

[ladyseidr]

okay late sinday thing is late but how about a sinday headcanon dump!! multiple f.naf muses beneath cut <3 small tw for brief mention of self-harm scars/wounds ( not described )

ELISE

True Switch in every sense but will shit talk her partner no matter what so y'know—

dirty talk dirty talk dirty talk

bonus: will dirty talk in french hi hello

just a big fan of variety. sensual, rough, trying new things, doing what's familiar—it's all good!

mid-high sex drive

not into choking (although by default my only muse who is is william and perhaps henry LMAO))

as is already canon on @spring-lxcked, can and will peg her partner and is very good at it <3

knows she's hot and not afraid to show it ( ie. lingerie, revealing clothing, striptease, etc )

( laughing at her + my william, they must be the most fucking annoying couple in the world when they're together )

absolutely hooks up with william at least twice post-divorce in very dumb moments of weakness on both sides (wishlist wishlist wishlist—)

JAYNE

leans top & domme, but not exclusively

don't even look at her unless you're good with humor in the bedroom, she's so annoying

deserves a wife. this isn't a sinday headcanon, it's just a fact. marry her.

so good with her hands, like way too good with her hands

relatively high sex drive

has had numerous friends-with-benefits situations that genuinely were just friends-with-benefits

pretty open to exploring most new kinks within reason

got sucked into a very passionate sexual relationship with a "straight" girl in her 20s. did not manage to keep feelings out of it (mutually). got her heart broken. you know how it goes

sex toys galore lbr. from basic to kinky, she's got 'em if she can afford them

HENRY

we don't need to say he likes it rough, that's been established on this blog already LMAO

(doesn't exclusively like it rough, pretty open-minded)

honestly probably a True Switch too. tends to be good with whatever his partner prefers and always down for switching it up

so hard to make him beg. but not. impossible. winks at u.

pull his hair come on do it—

takes a bit of "encouraging" the first time with a new partner but def a dirty talker

hasn't had a ton of sexual partners by choice. just not a very casual sex dude, other than a couple rare occasions

( has had a few committed relationships by the time he's married tho )

views himself as very masculine ( and carries some of the period-typical internalized issues associated with that ). will still melt if you call him beautiful in general, but especially in bed

over-the-clothes shit just really gets him going. grinding / dry-humping is just like. one of his Big Things, but he won't tell you

HARPER / PHONE DU.DE

haven't gotten to write him yet so this might be sparse

switch again (do you see the pattern with my muses?)

not 100% opposed to casual sex but def enjoys it more in a committed relationship

loves getting dirty talked

will also make jokes in bed at times + is quick to laugh off anything unexpected

tends to be more interested in men and masc-aligned ppl, but pretty open-minded

100% enjoys using sex toys with partners like please if his partner enjoys them, they'll end up with a treasure trove LMAO

MIKE

should be a given, but all of this is 18+ and also pre-scooping LMAO

switch who is fully convinced he's exclusively a top please help this man

will Not engage in certain kinks ( ie. bondage ) casually

me when i write mike by default in his like. ~ early twenties knowing he def doesn't ever get laid prior to his early twenties. in other words, your muse could be his first and i think that's <3

sorry but making out with him is a straight road to sex, it's like making out + groping = very hot and bothered

very, very focused on being A Good Partner. so much so that if his partner wants to, like, fully focus on him? he'll be shocked ( not opposed tho lmao )

you want to believe he's a good flirt. i know you do. but that's just not true and, in fact, his response to being hit on is to choke—

( okay i promise he gets better at flirting over time but at first. . . )

literally incapable of friends-with-benefits. he SWEARS he can handle it, but he WILL catch feelings like, sorry, the guy just wants to be loved

receiving body worship will make him, like, squirm off of the bed ( positive )

not necessarily opposed to casual stuff, but wary abt his scars/wounds being commented on

[therealjambery]

Writing practice, minimal editing, etc. I don't know where this came from. I know nothing about Batman comics. I love Jason Todd specifically because of some crossover Marvel fics (thanks so much for that, he now lives in my head rent free). I don't know where this is going, either. Enjoy!

Prompts from this post.

Prompt: "Batman won't like this" Fandom: Batman/MCU mash up Pairing: none Rating: Mature for Jason's potty mouth Words: 818

"Batman won't like this," Dick said.

Jason hefted the unconscious guy over his shoulder in a fireman's carry, staggering a little under his weight. Fuck, this guy weighed a ton. Did he have rocks in his pockets or what? "Batman doesn't like anything," he said, shifting the guy a little to the left. He definitely had knives in his belt, along with the maybe-rocks in his pockets. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him," he added, eyeing Dick meaningfully. 

"Yeah, okay," Dick said. "But you know he's going to find out somehow."

"Not if little birdies can keep their goddamn mouths shut," Jason said. He turned his back on Dick and started jogging out of the warehouse. "Better get going," he called over his shoulder. "I rigged this whole place to blow in," he mimed checking his watch, "thirty seconds, give or take."

"Dammit, Jason!" 

But Dick heeded his warning, and was gone by the time Jason reached the door and turned to look. He shouldered the door open, silently apologizing to the heaviest assassin in the world as his head knocked into the door frame. Seriously, so many rocks.

He managed to make it across the street to where his car was parked before the building went up in flames. He dumped the guy in the backseat and hopped into the driver's seat, peeling out before the secondary explosions started.

Five minutes later, the guy was awake and holding a knife to his throat in one swift move. Their eyes met in the rear view mirror. Above the mask, his eyes were cold, blue like deep sea ice. 

"Yeah, no," Jason said, stomping on the brakes. He turned and punched the guy in the head, using his forward momentum against him. The guy's eyes widened before rolling back in his head as he slumped into the backseat again.

They narrowly escaped getting rear ended by a garbage truck. It swerved around them, horn blaring, and Jason stuck his middle finger out the window as he accelerated again. Clearly he didn't have time to take the long way home.

Home wasn't his real destination anyway, What, like he was going to bring Mr. Stab-First-Ask-Questions-Later to his apartment? Hell no, the dingy squat he kept for sketchy business meetings and late night strategy sessions would do just fine. There was a cot in the corner and even a bathroom with a working shower. Practically luxurious.

He parked in the back, dragging the guy out of the backseat and back over his shoulders. The elevator was out, of course - he wasn't sure it had ever worked, to be honest - so he was sweating and cursing by the time he hit the fifth floor. 

The studio was small and gray, with one high narrow window running the length of the wall with the tiny kitchenette. It was just a sink and a mini fridge with beer. Tucked away in the cabinet were basic medical supplies and emergency whiskey. Dumping the guy on the floor, he stretched out his back and got himself a glass of water. He drank it leaning against the desk. Besides the cot and three chairs, it was the only other piece of furniture in the room.

"Okay." He set down the empty glass and squatted next to his mystery guest. "Let's see what you've got."

What he had was nothing. Nothing useful, anyway. Nothing in his pockets, not even rocks. Couple of guns, a truly beautiful collection of knives, various other fun assassin tools. But no ID, nothing that could identify him at all. Jason unclipped the mask and studied the guy's face. Cheekbones to die for, two-day old stubble, and - blue eyes. Oh shit.

Casually, Jason stood and stepped back, out of reach. "Hi," he said. He was kind of wishing he'd thought to take all the knives, given the scowl on the guy's face.

Wincing, the guy sat up and touched his temple, where Jason had punched him. He stood, slowly, arms held loose at his sides. He was wearing all black - boots, pants, and some kind of strappy leather nightmare around his torso over a long-sleeved black shirt. Black leather gloves, even. His hair was long, and he shook it out of his face as he glared at Jason. 

"Where the hell are we?" 

Jason could tell the guy was casing the place out of his peripheral vision, but was wisely keeping his attention mostly on Jason. Well, he was the most dangerous bastard in the room.

Then he took off his gloves, casually, and Jason saw the shining metal of his left hand.

Make that second dangerous. "Oh hell," Jason said. "You're the Winter Soldier."

The Winter Soldier crossed his arms. "Not any more," he said darkly. Then, in an accusing tone, he said, "You're Red Hood."

"Yeah, no shit, congrats." Jason gave him a lazy two fingered salute. "You figured it out."

[knoxisntlegal]

fyi i don't support the creator of ranfrens pleaserg m

HI HELLO :3

my name is Quill :3

my pronouns are He/She but you can use they too if u want ^_^

i am diagnosed with autism and have very intense hyperfixations on random shit...,... as you can probably tell i can't control it....

my current hyperfixations are::

• ranfrens

• the furry fandom (technically a special interest but whatevs)

• pins and pin collecting

• steven universe

HERE i will be just posting randum thoughts, desires and questions. maybe even art. who knows.

possible content/trigger warnings for:

•tons of swearing

•gore

•sensitive topics (racism, homophobia etc)

•trauma dumping

• sexual stuff in general (i'm a minor pls don't be weirdfhdh)

•mental illness talk

•casual autistic 14 yo afab shit

🚀🚀🚀

GOODLUCK!

you'll need it

[skypied]

sorry this is from a few days ago but i still wanna do the ask meme ;3

🤡✨🧠🎢

(I love the perpetual 3-5 business days ADHD delay on both our sides<3) read moreing bc I refuse to shut up<3

🤡 What’s a line, scene, or exchange you’ve written that made you laugh?

A lot! A lot of the time writing is providing entertainment for myself, and I often make myself laugh tbh! But I have no clue if anyone else finds it funny, mostly bc what feedback I get on things being funny often differ from what I laugh at 🥴 the one I can point to (and will again later in this post) is the goat-wrestling scene in always be this close. I also think all the banter in Morning Routines is funny. There's a shit ton of fun stuff in my wips, but I'm coming back to those.

(unrelated, I just discovered I've on two different occasions, months apart, written the exact same line of dialogue, which is Alberto saying "stop complaining and put your dick in my mouth". The more you know)

✨ Give you and your writing a compliment. Go on now. You know you deserve it. 😉

ouhhhhh uhhhhhh I think I'd say dialogue is one of my strong suits... I think? It's what drives most of my writing, and, while I feel like I'm always making the boys more and more OOC with every iteration, I guess that's one of the things that makes people find my fics in character. Maybe??? I dunno??? (honestly this is the worst kind of question bc for all I know I'm WAY off base). When I first am able to suppress my shame, I think the porn I write is fun and hot (but, y'know, it's 100% self-indulgent and to my tastes since it's a drop in the ocean from my personal spank bank, so again, nervous to state it for a fact)

🧠 Pick a character, and I’ll tell you my favorite headcanon for them.

given how I've rotated these blorbos so relentlessly in an endless drier for 14 months, there are sooooo many, and very few that are fixed in stone tbh. I more go through phases with headcanons, tbh! and I'm getting sleepy, maybe I'll come back and do a separate post if I remember anything special 😴

I can share that one of my current headcanon obsessions is Alberto in a skin tight short tennis dress though. I have this one in mind, bc that was the one that inspired it when a friend of a friend borrowed it to wear and he's a short'n'stout king who's dummy thicc and looked absolutely incredible wearing it. Hopefully I might draw and at some point post ... maybe in a sketch dump along with the two-three other pieces that are just "Alberto on his knees, thighs spread, soft lil tummy out, in cute outfits" hehe

🎢 Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

I think always be this close with the Alberto almost getting himself severely damaged in a goat-wrestling match is the wildest. The rest of my fics are either just shameless porn or shameless fluff or writing-for-writing-practice's sake - I rarely write any plots or scenes that get wild. Honestly babe my wildest rides are still wips 😭 and I can't decide on just one so this is almost a ranking

#1 is probably the "discovering Luca's dick glows under the blacklight when they're getting nasty in a club bathroom" which also includes Alberto joking about Luca being into scat (or maybe it's on the cutting room floor) and jokes about dolphins being depraved creatures and Luca's dick trying to fuck Alberto's ear and Luca having a laughing fit over Alberto looking like he's playing a flute while sucking his dick and Luca delighted to discover Alberto likes having his mouth stuffed with his tail. this fic is honestly like 80% done and has been for almost a year, I'm just eternally struggling but I did my once-every-four-month casual perusing and re-discovered that it's a lot of fun and I wanna finish it

the also-80%-done "Luca tries casting himself in a porn" fic. It got away from me and now includes smut and is, oops, 12k. It's not as overtly wild, but I think it's funny, I think it'll be finished soon-ish, and I hope y'all will find it funny, too. If nothing else, laugh at me pls<3

the one doc just titled "train wrecks" which is 3am, Luca in the club spotting Alberto and going

Luca pretends he's so blackout drunk he's forgotten where he lives so Alberto will take him home, and the rest honestly is just the dumbest banter. Highlights include likening Alberto's dick to a Christmas present, joking about Luca time travelling to groom Alberto to give him even more daddy issues, Alberto calling Luca a bird furry for leaving old food bits in his mouth during makeouts, and a lot more that'd take too much context to explain. but besides being a lot of dumb funny shit what I like about it is exploring the kind of surprising honesty and delightful rudeness you get with complete strangers. I think my fav moment is them small talking to get to know each other more, Luca talks some about his mom being overbearing and a pain in the ass, then when Alberto talks about his parental situation Luca just goes "fuck you, you can’t let me complain about all that stupid shit and then tell me that" and, after Alberto tells details about his dad and Luca offers sympathies, Alberto in return goes "no, fuck you, that sympathy is for your own bad conscience, not me". This one is a lot less finished, due to being mostly dialogue, and needing three sex scenes (and counting maybe???) written out lmao

sandbox is pretty much eternally on hold, but some out of context highlights include:

Alberto's literal "anyways, here's Wonderwall" moment

everyone calling Luca a slut

Giulia calling Alberto "young dumb and full of cum

Luca repeatedly having to tell Alberto off for quoting memes in bed

Alberto's graphic Shrek t-shirt collection

Luca skipping class to suck a guy off during a matiné showing of a war drama

Lorenzo giving Daniela chlamydia when they were young

Luca accusing his parents of being in a swingers arrangement with Giulia's parents

Alberto: recites Luca's Starbucks order - Luca:

(that's not a joke btw it's literal actual canon)

okay I'm done will sleep now ty for letting me ramble @ u ! 🥰

[dearrosaceae]

Am I still not over him? Us?

Dear Tumblr, my iPhone recently notified me of the maximum storage usage that I have apparently reached. In order to free up some space, I have to delete a lot of photos and videos to make room for new ones. Tons of them were just club posters, dumb videos and memes.

As I was deleting the photos and videos, I have also walked down the memory lane against my will. It took me to the time when I was happy, sad, angry and frustrated. It was reflected in my selfies, memes and chat screenshots I took of the time. Part of the journey that really impacted me was the time when him and I were together, although the relationship was long-distance and exclusively online.

Now, we had ‘broken up’ for 2 months now. We talked during my birthday and that one time when he wanted Uncle Bob’s Fried Chicken (see my older posts) but other than that, we stopped talking to each other. It was really hard for me to move on and get a hold of myself after the situationship ended because let’s face it— I was in love with him! It was not anything casual or situational about us for me.

As I deleted old photos where my eyes sparkled alive or screenshots showing our calls at night, I couldn’t help but feel super sad. I thought I had gotten over us for a long time, and that I don’t want to have anything to do with him anymore but I found myself grieving over a relationship that didn’t even have a label. I let that happened to myself, I couldn’t believe it. I even thought of reaching out again to him but I know I couldn’t, shouldn’t and wouldn’t. That would be low of me.

In addition, I know he just got over another ‘break up’ or maybe even got dumped by another girl after me. At first it broke me knowing that damn he got someone else while I was stuck thinking about him? He posted his grievances online too, through WhatsApp status which he never done with me. Clearly, this girl is more impactful to him, making me sad and insecure.

Looking from a different angle though, it was kind of satisfying and fascinating to see him struggle through that. When we called off the situationship, I had the hardest time to move on. Literally non-functional and just moved on autopilot for a long time. He was.. okay back then so to see him suffer in a similar fashion to mine, it makes me vengeful like oh? He does possess human emotions, he just doesn’t have some for me. Seeing him deal with it the way I did, kind of even things out for me.

He was merciless with me, I’m glad he got his retribution.

Anyhow, maybe this is just a way for me to psyche myself into hating him again or at least convince myself that he is not an all-rounder good lover to choose from. I hope all these photos, videos, memories just get deleted as fast as I could manage, together with this problematic, lingering feeling.

[domesticated-whores]

i've had a story that ive been brainstorming for years that i'm getting hella into again, but i honestly have no idea what medium i want to get invested in. like, i don't have enough motivation, time, or brain power for it to matter anyway, i'll drop the project before it gets anywhere. but if i did what would i even do with it? book? i put way too much emphasis on visuals when thinking about it, i don't know if i could convey it as satisfactory through text alone. comic, show? that would be so much drawing, and shows have animation and voice acting to account for and shit. visual novel? probably most realistic, i'd be doing mostly like sprites and stills with potentially occasional cutscenes. i can't program or anything for shit, but vns are the least programming-heavy of games to make, so it'd be doable, i'd be capable of learning basics if i have the motivation to do so. voice acting would be sick as hell, but ultimately optional. if i was willing to learn real coding and shit i think it'd be a sick concept for a proper whimsigoth adventure/VN type game. gameplay giving Monkey Island meets the real world parts of Persona 4 or something, chill and casual and just point-and-clickish or just walk around looking at things with VN elements, but more of a game.

posting a ton of concepts and brainstorming and lore-dumps while fantasizing about it getting picked up or attracting people to collaborate and help despite not pushing it in any way that matters, leading nowhere? yeah, that's what i'll do.

[juvederm]

josh headcanons cuz yeah (these are gonna be all of them actually so anyone who cares abt my posts have prob seen these before)

multimedia artist; i think he mainly likes to use paints and charcoal, and if he's sketching he uses smudges and sharp fancy artist pencils

loves drones and cyborg related anything, especially if it's horror related, so like sci-fi horror (also is a sucker for slasher horror, i fink saw is his favorite probably)

he's got an engineer kinda streak to him. he loves making things and tampering with machinery (contrast to chris who loves tampering with electronics instead)

loves to write stories, but he keeps it hidden bc he thinks it's embarrassing

he doesn't game often, when he does though he enjoys castlevania and resident evil, and has played majority of the story games out there on playstation

he also likes survival horror in general when it comes to games. prob liked haunting ground

video essay enthusiast, josh is like that meme that's like "what happened to him" "he ate without youtube" like that's his vibe

can info dump about anything aquatic, loves the aquarium and his favorite sea creature is an isopod bc it looks so extraterrestrial

although he's afraid of spiders, he enjoys the creepy crawly if they're slimy and cool looking

has about 20 sketchbooks

breaks every pair of headphones he's ever owned and the only ones he hasn't broken are sony headphones his dad got in like 2001

made a shit ton of mix tapes in high school, it's literally all poorly exported mp3s of unheard of artists that he still indulged in till college

i don't think josh is that frequent of a drug user so from time to time he smokes weed

on that ^ topic tho he has messed with a variety of drugs

horrible decision maker: in 7th grade he chugged robitussin and had a full body rash

trans, was stealth till he came out in like college, and he doesn't gaf abt what pronouns ppl use

likes the uncanny, creepy dolls and masks and mannequins are like one of his favorite things in horror (kinda true bc of all the mannequins we see in the therapy sessions + the dolls he used to represent his friends)

his bday is january 30th (mainly bc his bday just has to be in january for his age to make sense + he's the most aquarius man i've ever seen)

used to be into sports bc his dad would play baseball with him but i think that ended up dwindling over the years and josh lost all interest in sports by high school and thought it was lame

also in high school he was in the yearbook club

he was verryyyy dorky in high school which he tried keeping to himself but it didn't mesh well with others so josh opted to be like. the guy who everyone went to for parties and booze when he got to college

while he did study psychology i also think he was interested in other science or stem courses in general while there, but he didn't pursue it

in public he dresses in a way he hopes nobody even thinks about (just super casual and normal he's like a sim) but splurges on weird clothes he finds on cheap sites

both his parents worked and were hardly home, so josh had to learn to cook if him and his sisters ever wanted to have dinner

he had a lot of jobs while in college and high school; longest place he worked at was a cafe. he also took up working at the college library but hated it and quit

he steals a lot of hannah's accessories

is mildly interested in botany

knows ASL, has EDS, and used to do ballet with his sisters at a young age. they try to get him back into it but he firmly declines.

very autistic, specifically about horror movies and filmmaking in general. he always looks for the behind the scenes footage of all his favorite horror films, and particularly enjoys the FX process

okay this is all i got i might add more to it if i remember my other headcanons (which honestly is just endless atp)

also while i do hc all of this for him, josh is still the same douche bag we see in game. i just wanted him to have more interests besides just being the horror and films guy (which i do keep in his character while headcanoning all of this)