#Chan

[hanfocus]

hanjitonin boost 💖☀️✨😆

+ bonus

[xxkissesforchanniexx]

Best friend Chan who is in love with reader but has a girlfriend?

𝐒𝐨 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭?

Pairing: bestfriend!Chan x reader college au Genre: Angst (i cant write that for shit.), fluff, smut Word Count: 4.5k (lord help me) Warnings: Chan's gf is controlling, gf is a pick me, mentions of cheating (not by chan), mentions of college (younger half of members + chan gf + reader), fade to black sexual moment kinda >.>, nosey ass friends >.>, mentions of ateez members, not proofread, fighting >.> DO NOT DO IT, lowkey (highkey) cringe... UHH Idk what else...

A/N: I have exams soon so >.> i won't be taking requests until like May 😭 uhh I might get out the requests I have but until May I won't be accepting any very sorry >.>

You pursed your lips as your best friend's girlfriend, Chaewol, rubbed herself all over your friend, Chan's, arm.

"Chrissy." She said sweetly. "Can we go now?"

Your other friend, Seungmin stared at her, not even trying to hide the look of disgust on his face.

Minho just blinked slowly.

"Babe, we just got here." Chan sighed.

"I know but the waitress keeps giving me dirty looks." She pouted.

Hyunjin, a man who'd grown to be as close as a brother to you, made a face and leaned in close to you whispering, "Maybe if she hadn't been all over Chan as if the waitress wanted to steal him she wouldn't get dirty looks."

You gave your friend a knowing face.

"It's fine Chan." Seungmin smiled, stirring his drink with his straw, "Just go."

Chan looked at you with an apologetic look.

You shrugged. "We'll just try again some other time."

He smiled. "Alright. See you guys." He stood with Chaewol, who gave you the nastiest look as Chan led her out.

"The waitress wasn't even looking." Seungmin pinched the bridge of his nose.

"She's obviously jealous." Hyunjin huffed. "I would be too if my boyfrie-"

Seungmin elbowed him.

You looked between the two confused. "What?"

"Nothing." They both said.

Minho grabbed. a bunch of tissues from the dispenser in the middle of the table and tried forcing Hyunjin to eat them.

You burst into a fit of laughter as a waiter came over with water to help the spluttering Hyunjin.

Your phone buzzed with a notification from Instagram, you opened it and sucked in a breath at the post. It was of Chan and Chaewol at a bubble tea shop, she was kissing his cheek.

Hyunjin looked at your phone and sighed. "It's fine."

You nodded, "Yeah. Say any of you up for barbecue?"

Seungmin smiled, "Let's go."

It was late now, well past midnight, Chaewol was asleep, and Chan lie awake. He sucked in a breath, rolling onto his side and grabbing his phone, he opened Instagram and squeezed his phone. The picture Chaewol had taken earlier had blown up, "he's so sweet" and "you're so lucky" flooded the comments. He kept scrolling and stopped at a post where you were in a shopping cart and Changbin was pushing you, while Jisung was in a separate cart and Hyunjin struggled to push him. He laughed lightly and paused at a post from 30 minutes ago, that would've been 1am, you were at a table with the other guys. Jeongin was out cold on the table and the rest of them looked drunk stupid except for Minho, probably the driver..

Chan felt his heart clench. When was the last time he'd gone out like that with the rest of you.

He tapped your profile and scrolled through your recent posts, baking with Felix, cooking with Minho, gym day with Han and Changbin, movie night with a friend, a guy, he didn't know..

He stared at the image for a moment before swiping to the next, same guy, laying on his back between your legs, head rested on you stomach, your fingers in his hair, all that was visible, his nose and eyes.

Chan whispered softly, "Who the fuck is that."

Chaewol rolled over, murmuring, "What is it?"

"Nothing." Chan said, "Go back to sleep."

Chan looked through the comments,

Hongjoongisworld 1w Wow, so that's where my snacks went.

HWWAAA 1w Lucky.

former stronk man 1w ;-; why wasn't I invited.

and you tagged Sannie..?

Chan tapped the tag and exhaled slowly at all the pictures of a muscular man with a square jaw and pretty face. So this was Sannie. This was the man doing things he should be, Choi San, who goes to an entirely different school from you.

Chan jumped as suddenly his phone was gone. "Chae-"

"He's hot.." She scrolled through San's profile and hummed. Then her face fell.

Chan leaned over looking at his phone, there you were, phone covering half your face as you took the picture, San behind you, his arm wrapped a little too tight around your waist. Chan took his phone from Chaewol and put it down.

"Go to sleep." He huffed, rolling to face away from her.

Chaewol stared at Chan in the darkness for a long moment before pursing her lips. He's not mad that I called that other guy hot. He's made that Y/N is close to him... And she rolled to face away from Chan, biting her pink nails. What could she do to you?

You were drunk, buzzed, completely inebriated. To the extent Minho had to call someone to pry you off the pole outside of the bar. He'd used your phone and called someone you had labeled as Mr Sannie

Mr Sannie turned out to be someone named Choi San, he was a close friend of yours apparently, and you hugged him poking his face and neck as he half carried, half dragged you to his car.

Minho stared at San for a long time. What is Chan even going to say..

In light of your recent Instagram posts and a long call with Minho, Chan decided to leave Chaewol at home and go hang out with you for the first time in a long while. It was fun, running around being stupid with you. You and Chan were eating ice cream in the park when he asked suddenly.

"Who's San?"

You blinked a bit surprised. "He's a friend of mine."

Chan looked at you before looking back at his ice cream. "Just a friend?"

"Of course." You laughed, it trailed off as you realized he was serious. "Chan, San is just my friend."

Chan looked at you and smiled, "Good."

You didn't exactly know how to respond to that. Good why?

Your phone buzzed and you looked at it, there was a message from Yongbok to the group chat your friend group had.

lixie 3:47pm We're having a party off campus, you senior citizens tryna join in?

He Who Feeds Them Tissues 3:47pm I will if Chan will.

OMG SLAY💅🏻 3:48pm Why are we senior citizens...

Chubby Cheeks 3:48pm Because you've already graduated.

Hangry 3:48pm But we're not senior.

OMG SLAY💅🏻 3:48pm Minho and Chan are.

He Who Feeds Them Tissues 3:47pm You haven't eaten tissues in a while have you Hyunjinnie.

Me 3:49pm You're cooked. 💀

Loaf 3:49pm I'll go. Hyunjin hide.

Channie 3:49pm LOLLL

STAAA 3:49pm OMG GRANDPA LEARNED LINGO

lixie 3:50pm 😧 never thought i'd live to see it.

You giggled and looked at Chan who rolled his eyes.

Your phone buzzed again and Chan peeked over your shoulder, tensing at the sight of Sanniepoo..

Mr Sannie 3:50pm There's a party. Go with me?

Chan looked at you, you hadn't clicked the notification, hesitating.

"Are you going to go?" You asked him.

He bit his lip, "I have to ask Chaewol."

You looked down at your phone and tapped Mr Sannie's chat, typing something. "It's fine." You looked at your phone again and stood, "I have to go meet up with a friend."

Chan opened his mouth to say something, that friend was San, this guy he didn't know, who his own girlfriend thought was hot. You were going to meet up with this guy...

"Bye, Channie." You said before he could get any words out.

And you were gone.

You were sitting in class biting your pen and trying to study in art history before the teacher arrived, when you heard the steps then the whispers. You didn't bother looking up until a pink purse was thrown on your textbook.

You knew that purse, you'd helped Chan pick out that purse for...

"You really think you're funny." Chaewol said. Her group of girls dressed as if this were still high school looked at you with disgusted looks.

You looked up at her. "Am I laughing?"

The chatter in the class died.

"Leave my boyfriend alone." She said.

You raised a brow. "You think I'm messing with Chan?"

"Chris. Doesn't want you."

You stood, "What makes you think I want Chan?"

"Why else would you be all over other guys to get his attention?"

The class gasped.

"I've done a lot of stupid shit, but trying to get a guy's attention is not on that list yet." You said glaring at her.

"You're such a liar!" One of her friends said. "We've seen the pics of you with the guys from KQ Uni."

Chaewol got in your face. "Listen here, Y/N, if you don't leave Chan alone, it's going to be and you."

You sucked in a breath, "Back up."

"If I don't?" She asked.

"How old are you, Chaewol?" You asked irritated.

Chaewol smirked and turned, letting her hair extensions hit you as she grabbed her purse.

You pursed your lips.

You hadn't expected to be greeted by San's car outside of school as you left.

He gave you the corniest smirk as you got in, "I have a surprise for you."

You tilted your head, "What is it?"

He held a out a small box covered in blue velvet and you took it, opening the box you smiled at the sight of a plain black ring band. engraved in silver on the inside was "Dumass #1"

You burst out laughing and put the ring on as San held up his right hand, showing his matching band. You two took several pictures before San started driving.

"Hungry?" he asked.

"You know me so well," you smiled.

You took several more stupid pictures and a few pictures of your food, you were going to post the images but then you remembered what Chaewol had said.

"Why else would you be all over other guys to get his attention?"

You shook your head and pressed post.

"We should go meet the guys, they're out and about today." San hummed.

You nodded, "Okay."

You were laying in bed scrolling when Chan called you, you stared at your phone for a moment before answering. "Helloooo?"

"Uh.."

You heard the shakiness in his voice as he spoke.

"Can you come over? I- Chaewol and I aren't talking." He said sniffing.

"Chan what happened?" You sat up in bed, it wasn't the first time something like this happened...

You were at his house in 20 minutes, staring at your friend as he sniffled and allowed you before hugging you. You patted his back and made him sit as he cried about Chaewol cheating on him... again.

"Am I doing something wrong?" He looked up at you with tears in his eyes.

"Of course not Channie." You smoothed his hair and smiled at him gently. "She's the problem."

He muttered something about not being good at anything and lied down on the couch, resting his head on your lap.

You spent most of the night comforting Chan and relaxed when you got him to go to sleep. You stared at your friend's sleeping face, so content and calm as if in his dreams he'd forget about everything. You smiled slightly and leaned back against the couch falling asleep yourself, sure this would be the last time, positive...

When you woke up Chan wasn't laying on your lap and you assumed he'd gotten up to go do something but as you were about to stand you heard the voices by the door...

"Chris, you know it didn't mean anything. I love you babe." Chaewol sobbed.

"Please don't..." You heard Chan sigh.

"Chan!" She sobbed louder, and you heard her fall to the floor, "Babe it won't happen again! I swear! I love you, please!"

He wouldn't... right?

"Chaewol stand up."

"Not until you forgive me." She sniffed.

You exhaled slowly as Chan told her, "Come back later."

"Chrissy please-"

"I'm serious."

"Fine."

You heard the door close then Chan was back in the living room staring at you.

"Y/N-"

"It's fine. Just enjoy yourself." You pursed your lips and rolled your eyes, before leaving him standing there.

Chan's mouth was half open he was going to say something, he willed the words out. But a small, "Thanks for coming over." Left his lips instead and was met with the door slamming.

Chan kissed Chaewol and muttered, "You did so good for me."

Chaewol lay there on the bed trying to catch her breath, after cleaning up, Chan got into bed and Chaewol was already out cold. He rubbed her head gently, then he got a text from Changbin.

Baby Changbin 7:59pm Did you see what Y/N posted?

Chan opened instagram, there was a bunch of posts with you and a bunch of guys he didn't know, there was more with that Choi San... and he scrolled to this afternoon, food, you two being stupid, then.. a picture of your hand and someone else's, someone Chan could assume was San, wearing matching rings.

Chan bit his lip and looked at his jewelry drawer. He'd stopped wearing the necklace that matched yours because Chaewol thought it was "intrusive" and "a physical show of emotional cheating".

That left one thing...

"Baby." Chan shook Chaewol gently.

"Huh?" She groaned.

"There's a party tomorrow," He muttered.

"I know." She opened her eyes a little.

"Can we go?"

"Yeah whatever, let me sleep..."

Chan lie back and stared at the pictures of you and San.

He opened his chat with Changbin.

Me 8:02pm He goes to KQ Uni?

Baby Changbin 8:02pm They all do

Me 8:03pm We're going to that party.

The day of the party Chan pulled up in front of the old college he once attended, where you and Chaewol currently went. He had come on Chaewol's request, so he could take her to buy a new outfit for the party.

He saw you and Jisung and was about to get out of his car to go talk to you but another car pulled up. Chan froze as he got out of the driver's seat and hugged you then began counting on his fingers while making an exaggerated face. Jisung cackled. You rolled your eyes and pushed San's head, he faked a hurt expression and opened the front passenger side door for you.

Chan squeezed the wheel and this time got out of the his car, he would've approached but the sound of a squeal made him look away from you, Chaewol and her friends came over and she threw herself on him.

She looked in your direction, then made a face, "That's the guy from KQ Uni isn't it?"

Chan didn't answer, eyes glued on the way you and San went back and forth before you finally got into the car and Jisung got in the back seat.

Chaewol shook him slightly. "Chris?"

Chan's eyes met San's as he closed the door. All the man did was smile before getting into his car and driving away taking you with him.

Chaewol squeezed Chan's arm. "Is something wrong?"

"Not at all." Chan lied, "Let's go, hm? Gotta make you look even more beautiful."

Chan pulled up to the party with Chaewol and her friends. He got out and opened the door for Chaewol, who quickly scampered to join her other friends. Chan shook his head and started looking around for his friends, then he saw Minho, there was a group of guys with him, Chan could only recognize San.

He approached and San smiled at him, Minho patted Chan on the shoulder and introduced him to the rest of the men. "This is my good friend Chan. Channie, this is San, Seonghwa and Yunho."

Chan nodded and smiled, "Have you seen Y/n?"

"Oh, she ran off with Seungmin somewhere." Minho said. "Probably to get drinks."

"Oh, okay."

San raised a brow at Chan, "You know Y/N?"

"She's my friend from high school." Chan said.

Seonghwa looked between the two sensing the tension and laughed nervously, "I'm going to go.. get us some drinks? Yunho come with me." Seonghwa grabbed Yunho and dragged him away.

MInho stared at the two in shock, "Hey, hey, hey. It's a party, don't look so aggressive.."

San nodded, "Of course."

A moment later, you and Seungmin came bouncing back giggling like little children. Seungmin grabbed Minho, "Hyunjin wants to dance with you." And he dragged him away.

Chan smiled at you. You gave him a hug and poked his nose, "Didn't think you'd make it."

"I'm here." Chan shrugged.

San's mouth fell open dramatically and he made a face at you. "Am I invisible???"

You gave him a side eye. "I saw you earlier."

San clutched his chest, "So cruel..." he faked tears then the two of you started laughing.

Chan felt a tug on his arm, he looked at Chaewol.

"Oh," She looked at you and San.

San looked past you at Chaewol and you turned, pursing your lips ina. tight smile.

"Hi," Chaewol smiled at you and then looked at San, "I'm Chaewol."

"San," He nodded before looking right at Chan as if asking with his eyes So you have a girlfriend... San smiled at you and grabbed you, "Y/N we should dance."

Chan was about to say something but Chaewol pulled him away, "Babe we should go get some drinks."

Chan wanted to pull away he wanted to say no but then.

"Christopher."

He looked at Chaewol and smiled, "Ok."

As the party neared its end, Chan didn't know where Chaewol was, but he was too drunk to wonder. Minho had found him half passed out on the couch and helped him up. Minho helped Chan walk and eventually found you, talking to San's friend Seonghwa.

"He's too buzzed yo drive and Chaewol is no where to be seen." Minho said before carefully passing Chan's weight to you.

You stumbled slightly and somehow managed to support him. Seonghwa helped you before you fell over, you carried Chan to Seonghwa's car and tossed him in the back seat.

Seonghwa drove you to Chan's house and parked before asking, "Are you okay to carry him in alone?"

"Of course, I've got him." You laughed, and woke up a half asleep Chan in the backseat before helping him walk to his front door and convincing him after a bit of bickering to open the door. he trudged into the house and flopped face first onto the couch.

You laughed and he looked at you.

"Are you going?" he asked quietly.

You stopped laughing and nodded.

"Why...?"

"Because I have to go home, Chaewol wouldn't like seeing me here." You said.

Chan sat up and looked at you, "Please don't go."

You stared at him, "Chan-"

Before you could protest he hugged your waist and buried his face in your belly. "Please.

You stood between staring down into his eyes as he looked up at you. "I can't... Chaewol might get angry."

Chan's grip on your relaxed for a brief second. Then it tightened again and he whispered, "I don't care... Please... Stay. I need you to stay."

"You're drunk." You shook your head and started pry yourself away from Chan but he held you tighter.

"Would you be mad at me if I told you I liked you?" He muttered.

"No." You said quietly. "I'd ask you why."

"And if I said I love you?"

You stared at Chan. "You're not thinking straight." You started to pull away but he squeezed you for a moment.

"I don't need to think." He stood up and smiled gently at you, "It feels better if I'm with you." He hugged you completely against him and rested his head on your shoulder.

"Chan I-"

"Don't push me away right now... I might cry if you do." He breathed.

You held him as his body relaxed against yours. And the door opened.

You weren't sure what happened between the door opening and where you were now. What you did know was that you were going to beat the crap out of the person pulling your hair.

Chaewol pulled your hair and screamed at you as her friend tried pulling her back. It was a mess of punches and scratches and hair-pulling. "Boyfriend stealing, home-wrecking BITCH!" Chaewol screamed as she pulled your hair.

"You're the one who can't keep your legs closed!" You shouted, swinging at her.

"Don't come back here! Keep your hands off Chris!" She shouted as Chan pulled you off her and she kicked at you still gripping your hair.

You grasped on her hair as well and pulled out her hair extensions. "You fucked your relationship over yourself! You cheater! You ugly, ungrateful- OOOH!" You threw her extensions in her face as Chan picked you up around the waist and carried you out the door.

"Christopher! Get back here! Bring her back right now!" Chaewol shouted as her friend tried calming her down.

You were trying to get away from Chan as he dumped you on the ground and held you so you wouldn't run back to keep fighting.

"Chan are you even living?!" You shouted. "Howw do you let her treat you like that! It's your house, your money, your LIFE!" You pulled away from him and started walking away.

He grabbed your hand and pulled you back hugging you tightly. "Please." he muttered. "I love you."

You stared blankly for a moment. "Huh?"

"I need you." He pulled back and looked at you.

"You're probably just in shock and drunk."

He shook his head slowly, "I'm tired. I'm tired of fighting and screaming and everything.." He leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours. "Please."

And you didn't stop him as he kissed you.

Chaewol was faking tears the following monday in class and everyone was running to her to console her. Except you.

"Chaewol don't cry." Someone said rubbing her shoulder. "What happened?"

"I went home after the p-party. And Ch-Chan and Y/N were all over each other," She sobbed.

The whole class shot you dirty looks, you kept about your business staring at your text book.

"A-And then..." She snuffed. "We had a fight and Chan carried her out." She sobbed dramatically.

You made no move of any kind when some girls came up to you asking if it was true.

"IT GETS WORSE!" Chaewol shrieked. "THAT HOMEWRECKER KISSED HIM OUTSIDE TOO!"

You closed your textbook and got up from your seat, going to leave. As you stepped out of the building Chaewol's friends flocked behind you.

What you hadn't anticipated to see outside was Chan, he leaned against his car looking at his phone. Looking up at the sight of you and the other girls.

"Where's Chaewol?" he asked.

"She's inside crying over your sorry ass." One of her friends spat.

Chan opened his car and pulled out three pink suitcases and set it on the side walk. "Tell her to come get her stuff. If I missed anything she can come get it herself."

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Chaewol's voice came from the front entrance and you turned to see her running out and down the steps where she grabbed Chan. "Chris! Chrissy! Baby! Honey!"

Chan pulled his hand away from hers.

"WHY?!" She screamed, other students were looking through class windows or from where they were walking.

"I'm tired. I'm so tired." Chan said simply and grabbed your hand.

You gasped as he put you in the car. "Chan-" You started as Chaewol tried to open your door.

"Let them try." He said locking the doors and looking at you. "I want to talk to you."

When you were a sophmore in high school and Chan was a senior, you became fast friends. Not that Chan wanted to be your friend, really, he had been hoping to get your number and possible convince you to date him. But he'd failed miserably as Minho told him countless times before.

You'd have been lying if you had said you weren't into him, he was sweet and funny and gorgeous. But when he went to JYPU, he met a girl from another school, she was sweet at first, but when they started dating things didn't work out well. At least for Chan. The first time he'd called you crying saying that he and Chaewol had fought you thought it was normal. But the more it happened, the less normal it seemed to you...

And then he didn't speak to you for months on end... because Chaewol said he couldn't.... Becuase Chaewol didn't trust you.

And when she'd cheated and you suggested breaking up, it wasn't even a day before he'd forgiven her. And you couldn't help but wonder why. Why you were in this car staring at your hands? Why you let him drag you out? Why you let him kiss you?

Chan whispered quietly. "I talked to San."

You looked at him.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not you fau-"

"It is." He rested his head on the steering wheel. "I let Chaewol take over my life, and every time she lied and betrayed and and promised it wouldn't happen again it did... and I let it happen." he sat up and turned to you. "I'm sorry."

You sucked in my breath. "You shouldn't apologize. You couldn't have known better.."

"But I did know better." He looked at you. "I've known better- No, I knew you were better. I just.. I was scared you didn't want me back. Let me tell you when I'm sober. While you'll listen.."

"Channie." You stared at him.

He leaned in. "Can I.." he said quietly.

You nodded slowly and Chan leaned into you, his soft breath against your lips before he kissed you gently. He pulled away and whispered. "I love you."

You looked into his eyes. "I love you too..."

Your phone buzzed in your bag for god knows what time. Chan's lips were on your neck, you whined as he sucked a dark mark to the skin.

You moaned as he rutted against you. Rubbing his tented crotch against your clothed pussy. He pressed his thumb to your lip, "Suck." He muttered.

You opened your mouth and sucked on his thumb obediently. He groaned and pulled your shirt over your head. Chan kissed down your chest and removed your bra before moving lower and pulling off your pants. He kissed your thighs and smiled at the wet spot on your pantie. "This for me?"

He pulled your pantie off and licked a big strip of your pussy and moaned into you. You grabbed his hair.

"This is mine. You hear?" He looked up at you, coffee colored eyes dark and pupils blown wide. "This pussy is mine."

You whimpered and nodded.

"Good girl." He whispered before shoving his tongue into you.

You squealed.

"And the rest was..." You smiled to yourself blushing deeply.

"So then what?" Seonghwa asked as he sipped his coffee.

"You horny little-." San slapped him.

You rolled your eyes and smiled as your phone buzzed with a message from Chan.

Channie🥰 2:14pm I wanna take you out, text me when you get home.

Tags

@juskz

[strayflowersstarsandlove]

Bf!skz finds your baby pics/you find his😇💌

🖤hyung line🖤

🖤maknae line🖤

[cherry-heartss]

BANG CHAN // LIKE OOH-AHH (181210)

[quokka143]

coming soon 🍿

[milkteabinniechan]

Pink Carnations - A Bridgerton Story

ko-fi // m.list

pairing: Bridgerton Au! Chan x female reader

a/n: This was a labor of love honestly and I wanted to break out of my normal writing comfort zone so thank you all for giving me the platform to do that <3 I hope you all enjoy the first chapter. Please leave feedback!! It helps me out sm

Chapter One

Pink carnations lined the pathway to your house. That's how you knew spring was arriving. Long lines of pink. You'd push open your bedroom windows and breathe in the freshly cut grass, you'd let the warm breeze press past your hair, tickling your neck and shoulders.

It was your wedding day.

"Everyone is waiting downstairs, ma'am." A chambermaid squeaked from the doorway.

She was a new hire. A small, meek little thing that didn't talk much and avoided all eye contact. You had attempted many times to spark up a conversation with her, but all your efforts had fall flat thus far. You turned towards the door and gave her a firm nod. You took a deep breath in and made your way towards the stairs. Your dress swirled and swept across your legs as you moved.

You absolutely adored your dress. Long, flowing chiffon cascaded down your hips, falling to your feet at perfect length. A beaded corset swam up your waist and chest, while delicate lace fabric draped your shoulders, trickling down like a spring rain.

You counted your footsteps as you ascended down the staircase; one, two, three, four. Before you knew it, you were in the main hall of your family home. The kitchen staff had decorated every corner of the enormous mansion you called home. As you glanced around the room, there was only one person you were really looking for.

Chan was a potential suitor but he never pursued you. Gentlemen brought flowers to your door nearly every day. Bouquets of roses and purple tulips filled your room like something out of a fairytale. But he never sent so much as a flower petal.

"No carnations? Do these men not know you at all?" Your sister had notes the lack of your favorite flora.

Now it was your wedding day, a perfectly respectable man by the name of Felix Lee had asked for your hand in marriage. He came from a wealthy family

And had always treated you with the utmost respect. He was very well-liked in the town. Quite the charmer to the gaggle of ladies that had found themselves swarming him every chance they could. He had a beautiful smile and effortlesslessy gorgeous hair. You found yourself shrinking around him whenever he would speak, fearing that the light he exuded would burn you away.

But however magical Felix seemed, you still found yourself searching for Chan around every corridor. The whole town had been invited to this momentous occasion as Lady Whistledown had so affectionately called it.

She had gushed ansd gooned over the entire guest list, right down to the third cousin of the second aunt of the twice removed great uncle of… whatever. This was a spectacle. This was not for you. You were the eldest of your family. As your mother had never bore a son, the responsibility came down to you to marry someone in good standing to provide for your family. Although you would not live in this place anymore, your siblings and your parents would be well taken care of.

“The newest Whistledown has just arrived!” a valet ran into the dining hall with a small white paper in hand. 

“She’s writing on the day of your wedding? That has to be a good sign.” Your sister nudged your shoulder with hers.

The two of you shared a smile that quickly faded when you saw the shocked faces slowly peppering across the room. Judgemental eyes shot through you like rusty nails, leaving an infectious monster spreading through your entire body. Your mother crossed the marble floor to hand you the latest gossip. Your hands began to shake as you lifted the small sheet to your face.

Dearest, Gentle Reader, 

They say what is good for the goose is good for the gander, but what if the goose has taken a GANDER at another? This writer has heard a rumor most scandalous, about a certain Lady that has spent a significant amount of her time and attention on someone who is NOT her groom to be. A man in good standing is only considered as such if the company he keeps holds themselves to the same standards. Perhaps this bride may be having second thoughts?

taglist: @sugawhaaa @trixiekaulitz @chrizzztopherbang @cassidymb121 @roanns-posts @staysinbloom @yaorzu-blog @bubblebisk @cotton-candycloudz @beautyinhypnosis @domicaru @doohnut @strawberry31 @slxtmeri @newhope8 @tinyelfperson

[writingforstraykids]

I owe you a kiss - Pt.8

Pairing: Minchan x femReader (mention of Changlix)

Word Count: 3478

Summary: Three weeks later, you're still feeling left out. Your therapist suggests communicating your worries to your husbands, but this doesn't go as planned.

Warnings/Tags: fluff, angst, therapy, verbal fight, anxious!chan, min gets defensive

A/N: After part seven I thought I'd be done with one part more tops...well. Once more, there'll be another chapter after this. Ideas/wishes are always welcome, I'll see what I can include🤭🖤

PART SEVEN | PART NINE

Three weeks later 

“And you still don't want your husbands there for the appointments?” your therapist asks kindly. She has been for weeks now. 

“No,” you shake your head firmly. 

“May I ask why?” she asks patiently. 

“Minho has a lot to deal with on his own because he remembers…also, he hates hospitals,” you start and nervously fidget with your hands. “Chan is…different.”

“Different, how?” she responds with another question. 

“Distant is the wrong expression by now. He's trying to show me how much he loves me, but I can tell when he gets overwhelmed. He's still figuring things out, finding his place back home,” you tell, and she nods along, taking some notes. “I just…It's not all bad. He gets enough sleep now, makes sure to eat enough, and takes care of himself. It's just so different from what I remember.”

“And Minho? Is he getting the help he needs?” she asks. 

“Yes, he sees his therapist every two weeks. Weekly, if it's really bad, she always manages to squeeze him in,” you tell her. “He tries to hide it, but he still has nightmares. He's able to drive again if he has to, but he gets anxious easily.”

“And where does that leave you?” she asks patiently, nodding at the wooden board between the two of you. There's a figure for Chan and another for Minho, standing close next to each other. Behind them are several smaller figures in darker colors, symbolizing their fears and struggles. And there's you. Yours is smaller than theirs, standing further away as if you're facing them. 

“Alone,” you say, swallowing hard as you notice the distance between the figures. You hadn't thought much about it putting them there but they're painting a clear picture. 

“Are you?” she asks gently. 

“Sometimes,” you nod. “I don't feel like it when I'm alone with one of them. But if it's all three of us…I feel like they don't need me,” you say and subconsciously fondle the tiny head of the figure behind you, symbolizing your negative thoughts. 

“Do you want to change something?” she asks, picking up on it, and you set it between yours and the ones of your husbands. “Add anything?”

“I'm scared of losing them,” you say, and she nods at you, letting you choose another one. You put it next to the one you just moved. 

“May I comment on something?” she asks, and you nod. “You put your husband's fears and struggles behind them. But yours are in front of you, forming a wall between you all. Why's that?”

“Uh…because they've communicated theirs openly with me and are working on them. I didn't tell them I'm scared to lose them or all of the other thoughts running through my head,” you admit. 

“Mhm, so theirs are out in the open…why aren't yours?” she asks patiently, and you drop back into the comfortable chair. 

“I don't know,” you confess. “Maybe because I feel like I can't put more on their shoulders.”

“What happened when Chan told you he's scared to push your boundaries? What happened when Minho panicked?” she asks, flashing you a kind smile. 

“I comforted them, told them it's okay,” you say quietly. 

“And what makes you fear they wouldn't do the same with you?” she asks, making you lower your head a little embarrassed. 

“I don't know,” you admit quietly, feeling tears burn in your eyes. “I should tell them, right?”

She hums gently. “Communication seems to be very important to keep your relationship intact as you're all dealing with certain things.”

-

You're exhausted after your session, but you know you'd have to open up more about your own fears. You follow her outside into the waiting area to pay and frown as you see Chan talking to the receptionist. “Channie?” you ask, confused, and he looks up with a soft smile. 

“Hey, baby girl,” he says sweetly. “I thought I'd come pick you up, I finished early today.”

“Oh,” you nod and open your handbag to get your wallet. Chan introduces himself to your therapist, a warm smile brightening up his gorgeous face. You take out your card, and Chan gently shoves it back inside. 

“Already handled,” he tells you. 

“What? Channie, I had to pay for the whole month today,” you protest. 

“I know,” he nods and gently zips your handbag closed. “It's fine.”

“Thank you,” you nod gently, smiling as his hand finds yours. 

“You got everything?” he asks, and after you nod, you two say goodbye. Once you're in the elevator, Chan pulls you into a strong hug and kisses your hair. “You look like you've been crying. Rough one?” he asks caringly. 

“Yeah,” you nod, burying yourself in his warmth. “Thank you for picking me up, Channie angel.”

“Of course,” he tells you, rubbing your back. 

As you lean into Chan's embrace, you're reminded of the session's revelations. His warmth is reassuring, and it pushes against the shadows of your own unspoken fears. You wonder how to begin sharing them with him, how to bridge the gap that your silence had unknowingly broadened. "I have a lot on my mind," you finally say, your voice muffled against his coat.

Chan's response is soft, filled with his sweet patience. "I'm here whenever you're ready to talk," he assures you, his hand steady on your back. The simplicity of his promise makes something within you ease slightly. Perhaps sharing your inner conflicts wouldn't be as horrible as you feared.

“Thank you,” you nod gently. 

Chan leads you outside the building and to his car, your hand still in his. “I wanted to take you out for coffee, but would you rather go home? Whatever you say is fine, beautiful,” he assures you, and tears brim your eyes. 

“Our favorite spot?” you ask gently. 

Chan smiles sweetly, dimples showing. “Yeah,” he nods, giggling as your face lightens up. 

“I would love to,” you tell him. 

-

When you're back home, the atmosphere shifts as Minho greets you both from the sofa. His smile is shy, a reflection of his ongoing struggles, yet sincere. His eyes light up when he sees you. "Everything okay?" he asks, a subtle concern in his tone.

You nod, squeezing Chan's hand before letting go. "We need to talk, all of us," you say, surprising even yourself with the firmness in your voice. Minho's brow furrows slightly, but he nods, understanding the seriousness of your tone. He gestures towards the empty space next to him. 

As you all sit down, the weight of the moment hangs heavily in the air. You take a deep breath, gathering the courage to be as open as possible. "I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed," you begin, your voice stronger than you feel. "Not by you two specifically, but by everything. The fears I've kept to myself are... they're getting heavy."

Chan reaches for your hand again, his touch a silent promise. Minho leans in, ready to listen, to help shoulder the burden you've carried alone for too long. You share your fears—of losing them, of not being enough, of the future that seems so uncertain sometimes. With each confession, the walls you built crumble.

“You know you can always come to us when those thoughts get too much to handle, yeah?” Chan asks gently. 

“You're always there for us, honey, don't forget we're there for you too,” Minho adds agreeingly, gently rubbing your thigh. 

“I know…A lot of it is in my head, but I miss you two,” you admit. “I can't even explain it, but I miss you so much, and I just wish everything would be normal again,” you say, tears brimming your eyes. 

“Y/nnie,” Minho whispers and shakes his head, tears brimming his own eyes. “We have to work with what we got. A lot has happened, and we can't pretend it didn't. We have to find our new normal,” he tells you and timidly takes your hand.

“But we're always here, yeah? You're still our beautiful wife,” Chan chimes in. 

“Well, then start acting like it!” you suddenly burst out, and seeing the hurt and confusion lacing their features you quickly get up. “Start acting like I'm your wife and not just your crush you hold hands with from time to time.” 

“Seriously?” Minho asks dangerously low and Chan swallows, already fearing an outburst of both of you. “Tell me you're joking.”

“I'm not,” you snap at him. “Obviously, I'm not.”

“What the fuck do you need me to do then? What do I have to change, huh?” he snaps right back at you, getting up as well. 

“Guys, please,” Chan tries gently, but you both ignore him. 

“I don't know! But it feels like shit, I'm just some bystander to you two being all lovey-dovey all day!” you burst out. 

“You’re pushing us away, you know that?” Minho retorts, his voice dripping with frustration and hurt. “You say you feel left out, but you've got walls so high, I need a damn ladder to get over them! Every time I try to initiate anything more than the crush behavior, as you put it, you back away.”

“I-” you start, but you can’t form any clear sentence in response. Minho is right, you’ve been denying him to go any further repeatedly.

Chan’s face grows pale, his eyes wide as he watches the confrontation unfold, seemingly frozen in place. “Can we... please not do this?” he stammers, his voice cracking under the strain. “This isn’t helping any of us.”

“You stay out of this!” Minho snaps, turning his glare briefly to Chan. The sharpness in Minho’s tone slices through the tension like a knife, leaving Chan blinking back tears, his hands shaking slightly as he tries to compose himself. “You don’t have to participate in this fight, but let me say my piece.”

“I’m trying to help!” Chan protests weakly, his voice trembling at the thought of you getting into a serious fight. Minho and you almost never fought, but if you did, it was always ugly, hurtful, and fucking loud. He didn’t like it before, but he could barely take it now, getting overwhelmed.  “I don’t want to see us fall apart over misunderstandings and hurt feelings!”

“Well, it’s not just about feelings, Chan!” you shout, your voice breaking as the tears start to fall. “It’s about being seen and heard in this relationship. I feel invisible most days, like I’m just here to fill a space between the two of you! It’s like you don’t care about me.”

Minho blinks at you, and you can tell he needs a moment to process your words. Then he explodes. “If you really feel this way, if everything I do is that useless and meaningless…then I don't know what the fuck I'm still doing here!”

“Minho,” you whisper in shock, and Chan's tears fall freely now. 

“Minho, please don’t say that,” Chan shakes his head, looking at him anxiously. 

“No, seriously, fuck this. Fuck you,” he says harshly, and you know he's trying to cover his hurt with anger. “I don’t care about you, yeah sure,” he goes on. “I stayed by your bedside for weeks, praying that you’d wake up. I have done nothing but respect your boundaries, give you the time you need, and make sure you’re comfortable. What the fuck do you need me to do to think I actually give a fuck about you?!” he shouts at the top of his lungs, and it has both you and Chan flinching heavily. It’s rare he loses composure like this. He’s breathing heavily once he’s done, staring at you with fierce but such vulnerable eyes it makes you sick. He nods to himself as you don’t answer and grabs his phone from the sofa. “You don’t even know what you need. How the fuck am I supposed to, huh?”

“Min, please,” Chan whispers, sensing how hurt his husband truly is behind his mask of anger. 

Minho’s expression softens for a moment, his anger faltering as he sees the tears streaming down his face. “I need a break,” he announces. “I’ll sleep in the guest room; I can’t do this right now.” He shakes his head and meets your eyes for a brief second. “Thanks for the talk,” he says sarcastically as you don’t respond to his prior statements.

You stand still for a second as he leaves before collecting your things as well. 

“Y/nnie,” Chan tries weakly.

“Don’t,” you say sharply, shaking your head. 

Chan flinches as the door to your bedroom slams closed and slumps onto the sofa, biting back a sob. He blindly reaches for his phone and blinks away tears to find his best friend’s number. Felix picks up after the second ring. “Lix, I-I know it’s late-,” he starts weakly.

“Where are you?” he asks worriedly at the distressed sound of his voice. “Do you need me to get you?” he asks, already getting up to search for his keys. His husband shoots him a questioning look, and Felix mouths Chan’s name. Changbin frowns worriedly, getting up as well and grabbing his keys. 

“Can I stay at yours? Just for tonight?” he sniffles helplessly. 

“Of course, Channie,” Felix says soothingly, slipping into his shoes. “You’re at home?” he asks carefully, leaving the house with Changbin right behind him. 

“Yeah…home,” he says, choking on the word. 

“We’ll be there in ten minutes, okay?” he asks gently, waiting for Chan’s quiet hum in response. “Deep breaths, Channie hyung, I’m sure whatever this is it can be fixed.”

“I’m not sure,” he answers shakily. “I’m really not.”

“They got into a fight?” he asks carefully, knowing how much it upset Chan. 

“Yeah,” he whispers. “It was bad, Lix, really, really bad.”

“I’m sorry, Channie,” he says softly. Only a little later Chan meets them in front of the house and they pull him into a tight hug. 

Changbin soothingly rubs his back. “Come on, Channie hyung, let's go,” he gently urges him to the car, handing him a tissue. “You can stay as long as you need to, okay?”

Chan nods and gets into the car, sinking into Felix's arms as the younger one sits down next to him. Felix gently rubs his shoulder and sighs. “It's gonna be okay, Channie.”

Three days later

Waking up, you notice Chan's side of the bed is still made, untouched from the night before. Minho is already downstairs, the clatter of dishes breaking the uncomfortable silence that had settled over the house. As you walk into the kitchen, Minho’s posture stiffens, his usually warm eyes clouded with frustration.

“Good morning,” you say hesitantly, your voice barely a whisper, hoping to ease into the morning peacefully.

Minho nods without meeting your eyes, continuing his task. “Morning,” he replies shortly. 

“I was thinking we could all go out today, maybe get some fresh air together,” you suggest, trying to find a way to get you three to deal with what happened.

Minho pauses, placing a plate down a little too hard. “Chan isn’t feeling well,” he says shortly, finally looking up at you with a mix of irritation and exhaustion in his expression.

“Is it his headache again?”

“Probably,” Minho mutters, turning back to the dishes. “Or maybe it’s just an excuse.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” you ask, your voice rising slightly in concern.

Minho sighs, a long, tired exhale. “It means maybe he’s just avoiding us. Avoiding this,” he gestures vaguely between the two of you.

“Minho, that’s not fair. You know how much he’s been struggling with everything,” you counter, feeling your heart rate pick up as the beginnings of anger mix with your worry.

“And what about us?” Minho snaps, his composure breaking. “When do we get to talk about how this is affecting us? You’re so focused on Chan. What about me? What about what I need?”

The accusation hits hard, opening a floodgate of emotions you’d both been tiptoeing around. “I’m trying to be here for both of you and fix this!” you exclaim, frustration overtaking your initial intent to keep the peace.

“Well, maybe try a little harder because I don’t feel it!” Minho’s voice escalates, his tone harsher than you’ve ever heard.

“Guys? What’s going on?” Chan’s weak voice comes from the doorway. His usual bright eyes are dim and shadowed with pain.

You both turn, startled, as Chan leans against the frame, looking between you two with a growing sense of dread. “I just needed some air, that’s all,” he murmurs, clearly caught off-guard by the newly thickened tension.

Minho’s expression softens slightly at the sight of Chan, but his frustration is far from appeased. “We’re just talking,” he says, though his voice suggests it was anything but a simple conversation.

Chan glances at you, his eyes searching for an ally. “It doesn’t sound like talking,” he comments softly, his tone hurt.

“You wouldn’t know; you’ve been avoiding us!” Minho’s outburst swiftly redirects the tension back to Chan.

“That’s not fair, Min,” Chan protests, his voice weak but filled with hurt. “I’m just trying not to make things worse.”

“By not talking? By hiding away?” Minho counters, his voice laced with bitterness.

“Enough!” you finally shout, unable to bear it anymore. “This isn’t helping anyone. We’re supposed to be in this together.” Both fall silent, the echo of your shout hanging between you. The air is thick with unsaid things, each of you caught in your own thoughts. “We need to fix this,” you say finally. “We can’t go on like this.”

Chan nods, looking exhausted. “I know,” he agrees quietly.

Minho doesn’t speak; his jaw clenches as he wrestles with his emotions, but his nod is agreement enough. You all sit down at the dinner table, facing each other.

Chan’s voice is gentle as he suggests, “Let’s each say something we feel without interruptions. Just listen to each other. Really listen.”

You nod, taking a deep breath. “I feel overlooked,” you begin, the words raw but necessary.

“I feel helpless,” Minho adds, his voice thick.

“I’m afraid of losing you both,” Chan admits, his eyes glossy with unshed tears.

The room grows silent as each confession hangs in the air. You all look at each other, the vulnerability shared creating a bridge that had been missing in the chaos of your misunderstandings.

Chan reaches across the table, his fingers brushing against yours. "I'm sorry," he says, his voice steady despite the emotion. "I’ve been so wrapped up in my own shit that I didn’t see how isolated you felt."

Minho exhales deeply, the tension easing from his shoulders as he acknowledges Chan's words. "And I... I've been so focused on not falling apart myself that I forgot to make sure we're all okay," he admits, his gaze shifting between you and Chan, a silent plea for forgiveness in his eyes.

It's your turn to respond, the atmosphere allowing for more open and heartfelt communication. "I've been afraid of burdening you both with my fears," you say, the admission freeing in its own way. "But I see now that keeping them to myself only creates more distance. I need to share more, not less," you continue, feeling a bit lighter with each word. "I need us to really be in this together."

Minho's hand finds yours, squeezing gently. "I've been scared," he admits, his voice cracking slightly. "Scared that pushing too hard or not enough could end up driving you away. But I see now that not communicating is just as damaging."

Chan, still visibly shaken but slowly regaining his composure, adds, "I thought I was protecting you both from my issues, but I was just isolating myself further. I promise to be more present, even when it's hard."

The conversation turns into a lengthy discussion in which each of you takes turns expressing thoughts and emotions that had been buried under daily routines and misunderstandings. It’s not just about voicing grievances; it’s about rediscovering each other's needs and reassessing how to support each other better.

Chan proposes a weekly check-in, a safe space where anything can be discussed without judgment, ensuring that no concern is too small or too trivial to be voiced. Minho suggests more one-on-one time with each of you to strengthen individual bonds that contribute to the health of the collective relationship.

In the following weeks, the impact of that conversation becomes evident. Slowly, the dynamics in your household start to shift. There's a newfound gentleness in your interactions, a deeper consideration for each other's mental spaces, and an active effort to engage without overwhelming one another.

Feeling less isolated, you find the courage to share your smaller daily fears and joys, discovering that these moments of sharing contribute significantly to your feeling of closeness with your husbands. 

In a relationship as complex and intertwined as yours, challenges are inevitable.

PART SEVEN | PART NINE

do not repost, translate, or plagiarize my works in any way here or on other platforms. ©️writingforstraykids 2024 -

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Taglist: (Please let me know if you want to be added to/removed from the taglist!)

@atinyniki @galaxycatdrawz @silverstarburst @kailee08 @aaa-sia @lilmisssona @kthstrawberryshortcake @channieaddict @soullostinspaceandtime @rebecca-johnson-28 @lixie-phoria @kibs-and-bits @xxstrayland @ihrtlix @pheonixfire777 @mellhwang @palindrome969 @michelle4eve @harshaaaaa @rylea08 @heeyboooo @manuosorioh @gisaerlleri @andassortedkpop @lailac13 @bbokari711 @kazuuuaaa @rssamj @wolfyychan @stellasays45 @chrizzztopherbang @ontito0icongirls @furiousheartpoetry @bluesiebirdie @scarlet789 @ziipzeepzop-eez @lost-in-avoidance @dprkbyn @bear8585 @lee-knows-cats @mintchip17 @zdgx1 @zerefdragn33l @chansducky10 @melanctton @0325tiny @ionlyeverwantedtobeyourequal @daisyjihannie @felixs-brownies78 @roriiror

[hwangism143]

Jisung: Red lipstick?

Hyunjin: Check

Jisung: Acoustic guitar?

Hyunjin: Check

Jisung: Some thing cat related?

Hyunjin: ...

Jisung: YOU FORGOT THE CATS? HOW COULD YOU FORGET THE CATS?

Hyunjin: WE DON'T NEED THE CATS! MINHO HYUNG WILL KILL ME

Seungmin, from the kitchen: Now why the fuck are you both trying to summon Taylor Swift's spirit at three in the morning?

[runbulletproof]

— SIR?!??!???? 😳

[feelbokkie]

Sorry, I Love You | Chapter 11

pairing: Jeongin x fem reader

genre/warnings: smau, crack, angst, fluff, non!idol au, friends to lovers, unrequited love, will they, won’t they dynamic, abusive relationship, alcohol abuse/alcoholism, emotional/psychological abuse

pov: 1st/2nd person (depending on how you view it)

warnings: Swearing, Soobin mention, mention of food, drinking/alcohol (drink responsibly)

summary: Jeongin is in love with his best friend and he has been ever since he met her back in high school. He’s not sure how Y/n feels about him and in order to persevere their friendship, it’s a secret he keeps to himself. But when Y/n starts showing interest in one of their new neighbors, Jeongin starts to worry about the future of their relationship.

taglist: CLOSED

word count: 4,836

screenshot count: 19

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©feelbokkie (2024) — all rights reserved. reposting/modification of any kind is not tolerated.

"Uh-huh...Seung--Seungmin-" You wedge your phone between your face and shoulder as you run around your apartment getting your things ready.

"--I just think editing-wise, we can do a whole thing with color filters for mood--" Seungmin continues on the other end of the call.

"Seungmin, that's a good idea but--"

Knock knock

"Should we do that artificially with a filter in post or should we try to mess with the lighting? Lighting might look more natural but harder to produce since a lot of the film is outdoors--"

You drop your bag on your couch and roll your eyes before heading over to your front door, praying that Seungmin isn't on the other side. You love him, you really do, but he's been pestering you nonstop since the start of winter break about the film. You didn't even mean to answer his call. You were so busy getting ready to leave that you instinctively answered the phone without checking.

"That's a really good point and question, but Seungmin I have to--"

You pull open the door to find Jeongin standing on the other side. You raise an eyebrow at him, confused as to why he's even there. You thought he went home to Busan after his last final for the semester. But here he is, standing in front of you with his hands shoved into the pockets of his thick, black puffer jacket. A dark blue beanie sits on his head, pressing his bangs to his forehead. The bottoms of his blue jeans are soaked from walking through the snow. Or rather the slush on the floor that gives the false illusion of snow. You made the mistake of jumping into what you thought was a snow pile the other day and instead slipped into an unsuspecting ice puddle.

"Y/n? Are you listening to me? I'm trying to bounce ideas off of you and you're not throwing anything back." You can almost picture the pout sitting on Seungmin's face right now.

"Am I allowed to talk now?" You ask as you wave for Jeongin to come in.

"Who is that?" Jeongin asks, closing the door behind him and kicking off his shoes.

"Seungmin," You whisper back, holding the phone away from your face so he couldn't hear you. You can only imagine the rant Seungmin will go on if he thought you were ignoring him to talk to someone else.

Jeongin wastes no time yanking your phone out of your hand and putting it to his ear. "Hey, Seungmin, it's winter break. Go drink some hot chocolate and chill the hell out."

"But--" Jeongin ends the call before Seungmin can continue and hands you back your phone.

You stare at your phone for a second, waiting for Seungmin to call back before tossing it on the couch with your stuff. You take Jeongin by the hand and drag him over to the heater.

“Here, before you get hypothermia.” You mutter as you pull him to sit down.

“I’m not going to get hypothermia from the ends of my pants being wet, Y/n.” He laughs. Still, he sits on the ground to humor you.

You pull a blanket from your couch, the one that Lia made you for Christmas last year after complaining about how cold the winter is, and toss it around his shoulders. “Oh? Are you an expert on hypothermia?”

“It’s called common sense, idiot.” He smirks, lightly flicking your forehead.

“If you had any common sense, you would have rolled up your pant legs a bit to avoid this.” You crawl over to your couch and grab your phone to check the time, “I thought you went home like everyone else.”

“I decided to hang back and enjoy the quiet at the apartment. My parents don’t care as long as I’m back in time for midnight mass. Plus my brothers are annoying so staying here is a bonus.”

You swear under your breath when you realize how little time you have to get to the airport You toss your phone into your bag and triple-check that you have everything you need. "Not to be rude or anything, but you couldn't have come at a worse time, Innie."

"You have to go pick up your family from the airport, right?" You glance over at Jeongin as you slip your bag over your head. He's staring at you upside down, his head thrown backward. His round-rimmed black, lensless glasses slowly fall off his face.

"Yeah, and their flight is somehow early so I need to leave like, yesterday."

“Let’s go,” Jeongin slowly stands up and starts walking towards the front door.

“What?”

“Did you think I came here to spend time with you?” He says flatly.

The twitch in the corner of his mouth threatening to break into a smile gives him away. It's barely noticeable, but you know it's there. You've been friends with him long enough to be able to read him like a book. If you wait a little longer, he'll start to smile and then turn his head quickly so you don't see. His ears will turn red and he'll cover his mouth like he was trying to wipe it.

"You have nothing better to do than to drive me to pick up my family from the airport during break?" You question as you grab your apartment keys and meet him by the door.

"Didn't you know?" Jeongin leans down, placing his head on your shoulder, "I was placed on this earth to be your chauffeur. I'm fulfilling my one true purpose."

You slightly move to meet his eyes, careful to still keep your distance. You can feel the heat from his breath on your cheek. He looks at you with puppy dog eyes so soft and kind, they put a begging Kim Seungmin to shame.

"You're so fucking weird." You laugh, gently pushing him off your shoulder. His face feels warm against the palm of your hand. "This is why we need to get you a girlfriend. Someone to make you normal."

Jeongin opens the door and softly pushes you outside. You tighten the scarf around your neck as the cool air nips at your nose. "I'm normal enough around you."

"That is such a lie," You laugh again as he walks out of your apartment. You double-check that the door is locked and follow Jeongin to his car.

***

**Bold = English; Regular font = Korean**

You push in the door to your apartment and walk in first, holding the door open for your parents, brother, and Jeongin. It feels weird having your family in your apartment for the first time. In the four years you've lived in Korea, they've never been over once. Neither of your parents could take off time when you first moved and your brother was too busy moving back to his campus to help. They've seen your apartment in video calls and pictures, but having them standing in your tiny apartment is strange. For the longest time, it felt like you had two lives, one in South Korea and one back home. And now, both of those worlds are colliding. Even if it's only for a couple of weeks.

"Y/n, where do you want me to put these?" Jeongin asks, holding some of your mother's luggage.

"Just put it in my room, In. Thank you," You neatly organize everyone's shoes by the door, watching your family from the corner of your eyes. They took off their shoes when they came in, but their courtesy ends there as they now wander around the small apartment, opening doors and cabinets.

"You'd think with how much I'm paying for the place, it would be a bit bigger." Your father comments from the kitchen.

"It felt small at first, but it's just me so it's fine." You reassure him as you set your brother's things next to the couch. "You and mom are going to be in my room, by the way."

"Oh honey, you didn't have to give up your bed for us." Your mother coos, coming up behind you.

You know in the deepest crevice in your heart that, that's a lie. That if you didn't give your parents your room and instead gave them the pull-out couch that your brother is going to sleep on, she would fuss about it the entire time. Maybe even the rest of your life. Not in an obvious way, no that would be too kind. She'd make little comments about how her back hurts or how she could hardly get any sleep because she could hear the neighbors walking in the hallway. Or that the kitchen faucet kept her up all night. You love your mother, but sometimes she knows how to push all your buttons in the worst way possible.

"Y/n," Jeongin walks out of your room and makes his way over to you. "I'm going to head home now. Call me if you need anything."

"By home, you better mean Busan." You warn as you walk him to the door.

"What fun would that be? Plus, I've never experienced Seoul during Christmas." He grins at you as he pulls his shoes back on.

"And you're not going to this year. You said you're going back for midnight mass." You remind him.

"I can come back on Christmas day. I told you that we do everything on Christmas Eve since Christmas Day is Jesus' birthday. Something about greed and keeping it holy. I'm not going to miss out on anything," He stands up and readjusts his clothes.

"Yang Jeongin--"

"Oh, Y/n, is your friend leaving? Tell...what's his name again?" Your mother asks, coming up next to you.

"My name is Bob, ma'am." Jeongin stands up, extending his hand out to your mother.

"Be so fucking serious--" You glare at Jeongin before turning to your mother. "His name is Jeongin, mom."

"Jeongin, right. Tell Jeongin to stay for lunch at least. As a thank you for picking us up." Your mother places her hand on your shoulder, a large smile plastered on her face.

"Oh, it is okay. Enjoy family time." Jeongin reassures her.

"We insist. It's the least we can do. Think of it as a thank you for also taking care of my daughter."

"What are you doing?" You whisper.

"If it is okay with Y/n?"

"I'm being polite," Your mother whispers through a smile.

"You know how to do that--ow!" You rub your arm where your arm pinched you and pout at her.

"I didn't get to meet your other boyfriend, I'm going to meet this one." She finally admits.

"He's not my boyfriend. He's just my friend." You nearly shout.

"He knows his way around your apartment." She hums, not breaking eye contact with Jeongin.

"That's because he's my best friend, he spends a lot of time here. Hell, he practically lives here."

"He does what?" Your father asks, coming back into the living room.

"Kill me," You mutter under your breath, tossing your head back.

"If you insist, I'll stay for lunch. If that's okay with Y/n." Jeongin smiles at your mom, not even looking at you. He's good with moms, you'll give him that. You've witnessed him win over every single one of your friends' moms that you've met. It's impossible not to like him, but in this instance, you wish it was.

"What are you doing?" Your head snaps back up, raising an accusing eyebrow at Jeongin.

"She invited me for lunch." Jeongin tilted his head innocently.

"She's clearly jetlagged, don't listen to her." You groan.

"You're overreacting, it's just lunch." He laughs politely.

"And the twelve disciples thought the last supper was just dinner."

"That's blasphemous,"

"You're so right. Why don't you go home before I drag you to hell with me? Better yet, go all the way to Busan."

"Lover's quarrel?" Your brother pops up out of who knows where and drops down on the couch behind you.

Five minutes. It takes your family five minutes in your apartment, a grand total of twenty-five minutes in South Korea in general, for your family to completely drive you up the wall. It all floods back, why you left in the first place. You could have attended film school back home, but you decided to move as far as you could and somewhere they wouldn't have any interest in visiting. You wouldn't have to deal with them much outside of weekly phone calls. Your family could be worse, but the constant meddling in your life is enough to drive you insane.

Annoyed, you grab Jeongin's hand and drag him off to the kitchen. His fingers are stiff in your hand, almost like he's unsure if he should wrap his fingers around your hand. "C'mon, Bob, let's go make lunch."

"I'm...I'm not allowed in the kitchen," He stammers.

"Don't worry, I'm not an idiot. You're not going to cook anything." You let go of his hand as soon as you are far enough in the kitchen. You finally turn around to face him. His ears are as red as the shirt poking out from under his jacket. "I'm just saving you from my family interrogating you."

"I wouldn't mind," He coughs, rubbing the back of his neck.

"You say that now," You roll your eyes as you grab the apron next to him. You grab one of your spare aprons and hand it to him. "But trust me, after like 2 minutes along with them, you'd be begging me to save you."

"It can't be that bad."

"Speaking of bad," You toss the apron on and tie the string in the back, looking him in the eyes again, "When did you get so good at English?"

"I've been practicing," He follows suit and puts his apron on.

"For?" You walk past him and begin getting ingredients from your fridge.

"...My...resume." He mutters.

"What kind of reasoning is that? You aren't even that prepared for class."

"His name is Bob?" You hear your brother asking your parents.

You let out a deep sigh as you set everything on the counter, "Idiots, both of you."

***

"Mom and dad are asleep, let's go out." Your brother says, walking back into the kitchen where you and Jeongin are talking.

Somehow, lunch turned into dinner which turned into the five you you playing card games until your parents decided to call it for the night. You're exhausted too, although, you're not sure if it's from all the translating you've been doing or just the overall energy you've been exerting for the day.

"And do what, exactly?" You question, dealing out the cards that Jeongin just shuffled.

"Isn't there a place around here that's popular for clubs and stuff?" Your brother sits down in the seat next to you. He rests his head in the palm of his hand and stares at the both of you.

"Are you talking about Hongdae?" Jeongin asks, picking up his deck.

"Yeah, yeah, Häagen-Dazs!" Your brother says happily.

"There is no way in hell you heard him and thought he said Häagen-Dazs--How are we related?" You fold your arms on the table and drop your head into them, resisting the urge to just slam your head into the table at your brother's stupidity. "Anyways, you're too old for Hongdae."

"I'm 25?" Your brother furrows your eyebrows at you.

"Exactly, you're basically geriatric here. They're not letting you in." You explain, lifting your head.

"Plus you're a foreigner. A male one at that." Jeongin adds.

"But...but you guys are young enough right? You can get me in. Plus if Y/n dresses how she did in high school, the bouncers will be too distracted and let us in."

"You're just going to pimp out your baby sister like that?"

"What else are you good for?"

"Literally anything else," You slap his arm and roll your eyes. "Besides, I'm not sneaking you into a club so you can whore around and cheat on your girlfriend. You know, the one you've been dating for 10 years and still haven't proposed to."

Your brother hangs his head low and picks up his cards. "She left me,"

"You should have proposed," You joke, still looking at your cards.

"Don't kick me when I'm down," He groans, dropping his head to the table.

"Down bad, maybe,"

"I'm down bad? What about the time you--"

"Finish that sentence and mom and dad are going to spend Christmas fishing your body out of the Han River." You threaten.

"'Whoring around?' 'Down bad?'" Jeongin whispers to you.

"Channie after two bottles of soju and beer," You explain simply.

"Ah, a slut. Got it." He gives a firm, understanding nod and goes back to looking at his cards. "You know, we could sneak him in. He looks a little sad about his girlfriend leaving him."

"He's just being dramatic. He'll be fine," You wave him off.

You know Jeongin is right. You could just sneak him in. It might be harder with just the three of you, but you've done it before with your friend group. Back before most of you were old enough to get into clubs, you figured out how to sneak your entire friend group in. Did it set the feminist movement back a few decades? Sure, but it was worth it to spend a few hours partying with your friends.

Your eyes can't help but wander over to your brother. You chew on the corner of your bottom lip as you think about it. Sure, he's a pain in the ass, but he's still your older brother. He's taken you to places he normally wouldn't be caught dead to cheer you up growing up. Watch movies that he claims he hates and let you paint his nails and practice makeup on him more times than you can count. He did it while huffing and puffing about how much he disliked it, but he still did it.

"Shit," You mutter under your breath, "Okay, give me twenty minutes."

~~~

The hard beat of whatever music is being played too loudly over the speakers booms through your body. You can barely see two feet in front of you, with how poorly lit the club is. It's hot, which was a nice contrast from the cold outside when you first walked in, but it's become increasingly uncomfortable, nearly unbearable, in a short amount of time. The Irish coffee he had ordered for you when you first came in was a good idea in theory, something that would keep you awake and still let you share a drink with your brother. But now it's too hot to drink coffee with whisky in it. You had to steal a few ice cubes from Jeongin's water to cool it down enough so you drink it without feeling hot yourself.

"He's having fun," Jeongin points to your brother in the mass of sweaty bodies dancing in front of you. He has his tongue down the throat of some girl whose name you're certain he can't pronounce.

"I'm going to be sick," You groan, leaning further into the seat of the booth you're in. The red plastic leather peels off your skin, nearly glued to you from how long you've sat there. You're glad he's having fun, you just wish he wouldn't do it in your line of sight.

Jeongin laughs and pats your hand, trying to reassure you. His head softly bounces in tune to the music being played. You take a sip of your drink before leaning back again, the bitterness from both the coffee and the whisky hit your tongue in a way that makes you pull a slight face. The whisky burns your throat as it goes down. You feel all warm and fuzzy like you're being hugged from the inside. Except, it's one of those uncomfortable hugs that go on too long and make you feel too hot. There's not much you could do, you already took off your jacket after a few minutes of being in the club.

"Hey," A guy who looks to be around your age, maybe a little older, says, sliding into the booth next to you. "you look bored, do you want to come home with me to eat ramen?"

You close your eyes and take a deep breath before turning your head in his direction. You're entirely too tired, hot, and tipsy to deal with any of his bullshit. "Fuck off,"

"What did you say?" His tone is sharp. You're not sure if he's taken aback by the fact that you can speak Korean or how disrespectful you're being towards him, but you can feel the change of energy radiating off of him.

You feel an unexpected weight on your shoulders. Your eyes flick down and see Jeongin's hand hanging off your shoulder, carefully making sure not to touch you inappropriately. He leans in close, pulling you away from the guy and staring at him in the eyes. "She said 'fuck off.' Now go,"

The man looks between the two of you before letting out an exaggerated scoff and getting up from the table. The two of you watch as he walks over to another table, this one filled with a few girls who are definitely a little too drunk.

"Thanks," You say simply, resting your head back. Jeongin doesn't remove his arm, allowing you to use him as a cushion. You think for a moment, something about this situation is familiar. Not an exact match, but a similar one. You can't help but let out a low chuckle when you realize why.

"What's so funny," Jeongin's other hand brushes against your cheek, moving a stray piece of hair that you weren't aware of that was stuck to your cheek.

"Nothing," You slightly shake your head.

"You're laughing, how is that nothing?"

"It's sad, not funny" You sit up slightly, taking another sip of your drink. "The last time I was in Hongdae, that was pretty much happening a lot. Soobin and I were already bickering the entire night so we got into a fight about it. He was so mad that he made me walk home. Alone. It was pouring rain too,"

“Is that where that cold you had around my birthday came from?”

You let out a low hum and slightly nod your head. Your eyes flutter shut, the warmth in your body leaving slowly. Or maybe you're finally getting used to the heat. Your body feels like it's floating above the table you and Jeongin are sitting at. You know you have a higher alcohol tolerance, but maybe the exhaustion is making you more susceptible to the whiskey in your drink.

“Why didn’t you call me?” He whispers, his voice is soft and warm like honey against your ear.

“It was around 3 am. Didn’t wanna bother you,”

For a second, you're no longer floating but falling. No, not falling, you're being dragged down. Only for a second. You open your eyes slowly. The crowd in front of you is now slightly tilted like you're suddenly in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It takes you a second to realize that your head is resting on Jeongin's chest.

Badum

You're not sure if your heart is beating in tune with the music or trying to keep up with the thumping coming from Jeongin's chest. The thumping in his chest doesn't match up with the music. It's louder and faster than the song that's currently playing. Your left-hand snakes up and presses on his chest, trying to settle his heartbeat, the fabric of his red cotton shirt soft and nearly silky underneath your fingertips.

“Idiot,” He murmurs. He pulls you in a little closer, making the beating of his heart louder in your ear. “You don’t bother me. Stop thinking you're a burden on others when you're not. I'll pick up anytime you call so don't do that again. Okay?”

“Hmm,” You hum in agreement, your eyes fluttering shut again. The beating in his chest slowly settles into a calm, soothing rhythm. You can't even hear the music anymore, only his heartbeat. The smell of his cologne, which somehow managed to last the entire day, finds its way into your nose giving you some sense of security and familiarity. Somehow, it smells more like home than your parents did when you hugged them. Your hand lightly grips the fabric of his shirt as you just lay there.

“C’mon, let’s go dance,” He says, tapping your forehead with his free hand.

“Dance?” You mumble, cracking one eye open.

“You’re falling asleep or passing out from being tipsy. Either way, it’s not going to look good for either one of us if I have to carry you out of here. So let’s dance,” He pulls you upright just as smoothly as he pulled you onto his chest.

You turn to look at him, both of your eyes open now. His face is red, almost like he's been drinking something other than water alongside you this entire time. You reach out and place your hand against his face, gently stroking his cheek with your thumb, his skin hot against it yet again. “Careful, Yang Jeongin, someone might think you're in love with me.”

He slowly sucks in his lower lip, his eyes dance across your face. Like you're a book and he's trying to decipher your words. Or maybe he's trying to find his own and the answer lies in your eyes. He grabs your wrist and pulls your hand off his face before sliding his hand up, taking your hand in his. He gently leans forward, next to your ear. His breath makes the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. "Would that be so bad?"

You pull away from him, leaving your hand in his, and narrow your eyes at him, trying to read him. You're not sure if he's serious or if the alcohol that's quickly leaving your system is making you misunderstand what's happening. Your eyes scan his face for answers and, unlike him, you're unsuccessful. His face is redder than it was before. It's almost like he's absorbing all the alcohol in your system through your hand.

“In—”

Thump

Someone bumps into your table, causing your drink to topple over and spill onto both of your laps.

"Shit," Jeongin mutters as he drops your hand and scrambles to grab whatever napkins are on the table. He gives some to you and helps you clean up the now ice-cold drink that's dripping down to your feet, his own pants being neglected.

"I'll be right back," He says quickly before leaving you at the table and disappearing in the direction of the bathrooms.

Before you can even process what happened, your brother slides into the booth next to you. "People here are weird. I was making out with that girl and all of a sudden she's talking to me about ramen."

You quickly shake your head and focus your attention on your brother. You pick up the now empty cup that used to hold your cocktail and go back to trying to clean your jeans. "You're going to be so upset you said 'no' later."

"Was ramen code for something?" He turns his full body to face you. You glance at him before going back to clean up your mess. There's a small red mark at the base of his neck and dark pink lipstick smeared across his mouth. You can only imagine how much trouble he was about to get himself into.

"I'll tell you later," You wad up the dirty napkins and put them in your cup.

Your brother looks around, realizing that something is missing, "Where's your boyfriend?"

You freeze at the word boyfriend. You're used to people assuming that you're dating Jeongin, but somehow, this time feels different. Before, it always sounded accusatory. Like the two of you couldn't be just friends. That you were using the term "friends" as a veil to hide illicit-esque behavior. But now...

"Would that be so bad?"

Your brain replays that phrase in your head over. Surely, he was taking advantage of your intoxicated state to tease you like he usually does. That, had you not been interrupted by cold whiskey and coffee pouring into your lap, he would have let out a loud laugh and left his mouth hang so widely open that you wouldn't be able to see past the dark-lined half-moons where his eyes should be as you stammered out a response. Something that he would tease you about for the rest of your lives.

"He's not my boyfriend, dumbass. We're just friends." You sigh, thumping your brother on the back of his head.

Your brother rolls his eyes as he rubs the back of his head, a smile that would make the Cheshire cat envious spreads across his face. "Look, I'm saying this as both your older brother and as a guy, you may be 'just friends' with him, but he’s definitely not 'just friends' with you,”

—

Buy me a coffee?

—

Taglist

Red means that it wouldn't let me tag you (either at all or properly)

@amyyscorner @jiisungllvr @marked-unknown @veedoesntknaur @nuronhe

*the rest of the taglist is in the comments*

[fromperdition4]

Poor Papa Korn…

He puts so much time and energy into his kindly grandpa façade - making flower pots, watching fish, playing chess - and for what?

All so he can be rejected by two sons - within minutes of each other?

The disrespect!

(It`s okay Papa Korn - you can just hide your pain with manipulative bullshit, like always 😔)

[aeliuss]

my dear! I'm your fan, I love your writing. Thank you for taking us out of our reality and allowing us to enter a world of our own! Could I make a request for a crazy idea I had? An anguished Y/N and Chan fight and he tells her to leave and leave him alone. When Y/N leaves in a daze he doesn't see the car and is run over. In the end I trust you. =) If it doesn't bother you and you can fulfill my request, I would be very happy!

hey! thank you so much that means so much to me :(( this is my first ever request so i'm excited but also super nervous 👉👈I hope it came out okay!! here ya go <3

warnings!: angst, mentions of anxiety, blood, swearing, arguing, chris is kind of mean, reader gets run over by a car

word count: 2,311

you're bleeding.

you're sitting on the bar stool in your kitchen, knee bouncing absently, nails cutting into your cuticles, blood dripping down your thumb. there's a commotion outside. a loud one, and when you peeked through your window earlier, you saw two of your neighbors arguing loudly.

then you saw chan's car pull up through the window and you pulled the curtain shut abruptly. he should be coming in any minute now. and then you'll tell him what you know. what you know about him and what he'd been doing under the guise of "working."

you will. this time, you will.

when he steps through the door, he doesn't even look at you. just kicks off his shoes, and slides into his home slippers.

his evident fatigue almost softens your resolve. he's exhausted. maybe this could wait till the morning... you begin to think, before you shake yourself out of it. no. no this can't wait. not anymore.

You clear your throat, the sound echoing through the quiet kitchen. chan pauses, finally acknowledging your presence with a faint tilt of his head.

"hey," you start. pause. clear your throat again. "We need to talk."

he glances at you, looking mildly annoyed.. "can it wait? I'm beat."

"it can't." the words surge from your lips before you can chicken out and stop them.

he sighs, turning around to full face you, leaning against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. "fine. what is it, then? what do you have to say that's so important that it couldn't wait till the morning?"

his demeaning tone is almost enough to get you to change your mind. but you don't.

"do you realize how late it is?"

"yes." his tone is curt.

"okay," you take a breath. count to three. "okay. so you do realize it."

"that's what I said," he says mockingly, sagging against the wall.

you straighten your back, determined not to let his dismissive attitude deter you. "and do you have any explanation for why you're four hours later than you said you would be?"

chan's eyes narrow, a flicker of annoyance passing over his features. "work ran late, okay? it happens."

"it happens," you repeat. "except it always seems to happen to you. only you. and not the other members."

"the other members aren't responsible for keeping deadlines, y/n." he says through hissed teeth, his back straightening with tension. "i'm leader. it falls on me. i thought you knew that."

you can feel the tension crackling in the air, the weight of unspoken truths hanging heavy between you. you know this conversation could change everything, but you're resolved to see it through.

"I know you're the leader, chan," you reply, your voice steady despite the nerves fluttering in your stomach. "but that doesn't mean you have to shoulder everything alone. we're a team, remember?" with your words, youre begging him to take the excuse youre practically throwing at him. but he doesn't. he just scoffs.

"except we're not a team," he says. "youre not with me in the studio, because you know nothing about it."

"chan, that's not fair," you retort, the frustration bubbling up within you. "just because I'm not physically there doesn't mean I'm not supporting you in every other way I can."

"supporting me? is that what you call it? sitting at home, waiting for me to come back at ungodly hours? that's not support, y/n, that's called being clingy."

you feel a sting at his words, but you push past it, refusing to let him deflect the conversation.

"I'm not being clingy, Chan. I'm concerned. Concerned about you and your well-being. This isn't just about work running late. It's about the pattern, the secrecy, the distance between us," you say, your voice steady but laced with emotion.

he latches onto one word. "secrecy? what're you talking about?"

the words lodge in your throat. you don't want to say them. you don't want to say them because if you do, the truth you have been trying so hard to deny will etch itself into the walls of your shared apartment. if you do, there will be no going back, no more pretending that you don't know.

the only sound between you is the sound of a siren outside. the sound of your neighbors arguing. his eyes are dark, intense. they don't waver from yours. waiting for you to speak. you don't think you can.

you speak.

"i know about her."

the fact that he doesn't even ask who makes you feel dizzy.

"she's just a producer," he says. "she works with us."

you shut your eyes, disgust coiling in your chest. "please don't insult me, chris."

chan's expression shifts from annoyance to something unreadable, his eyes darting away from yours for a fleeting moment before returning with a hard edge.

"what are you trying to say?" he asks, his voice quieter now, a dangerous calm settling over him.

her heart is beating so fast in her chest, she is almost sure it will leave a permanent indent. "i'm saying that i know that you asked her out a month before you met me. that you were in love with her for years and that she rejected you."

his fingers curl into fists, and he's gone slightly pale. "who told you?"

"god, chris, that's what you care about? who told me? it doesn't fucking matter who told me!"

his silence is deafening. the anger that had unfurled in your chest goes out as quickly as it had come. it is replaced by desperation. it disgusts you how much you love him, how much you are desperate for him to deny what you are insinuating, desperate for him to hold you and kiss away the tears that had made an appearance on your cheeks and tell you that you are wrong. but he doesn't. he doesn't.

you're still bleeding from picking at your thumb and his silence speaks volumes, filling the room with tension thicker than any words could. you watch as emotions flicker across his face like shadows dancing in the dim light of the kitchen. you want to take back everything you said, to erase the truth that now hangs heavy in the air between you.

but you can't. because you said it. and now it's out there, impossible to retrieve.

"what am i to you?" you finally ask, your voice barely a whisper. but he hears you. he always does. "what am i to you that you can stay all night alone in the studio with a girl you used to love for years and then come home and turn on me like i'm the one that's done something wrong?"

chan's eyes flicker with a myriad of emotions—anger, guilt, frustration. he opens his mouth, then closes it, as if grappling for the right words.

finally he says, "don't do this to me, y/n. not now."

a strangled sound leaves your lips before you can stop it. "to you? to you?"

"yes, to me." he hisses, running a hand through his hair, messing up the curls more than it already was. "you know we have a comeback soon. you know how stressed out i get--"

you interrupt him, unable to bear the weight of his excuses any longer. "don't you dare turn this around on me, bangchan."

he looks at you, eyes hard, but there's panic in them. panic and anguish. "don't call me that. you don't call me that."

"you kissed her!" you shriek suddenly.

he freezes. everything seems to freeze, your fingers and toes are numb. youre still bleeding.

the words hang in the air, heavy and charged with emotion. chan's expression tightens, jaw clenched, eyes darkening with a mix of anger and guilt. he takes a step back, as if physically recoiling from the accusation.

"i..." he starts, but the words catch in his throat. He struggles to find the right response, his mind racing with excuses and denials. but there's no denying the truth in your eyes, in the trembling of your voice. "yeah. i did."

there it is. the blow you've been waiting for all night.

tears threaten to spill over as you struggle to comprehend the magnitude of his confession. every moment you shared with him feels tainted, every word spoken now questioned. you thought you knew him, trusted him, loved him. but now, it feels like you're standing on the precipice of a vast unknown, unsure of where to go from here.

chan's gaze flickers, remorse etched into his features as he takes a hesitant step forward, reaching out a hand as if to console you. but you recoil, the pain too raw, too fresh to bear his touch.

"don't," you whisper, your voice barely above a broken sob. "don't touch me."

"y/n-"

"how could you do this to me?" your voice is broken, sailing of several octaves, shrill, because how could he? "how could you come home and lie to me every single fucking night--"

"y/n, please, just listen-"

"i'm so stupid. so fucking stupid. how could i believe you? all this time i was just a fucking rebound, chris. you never loved me, you--"

"y/n, that's not true. i-i made a mistake, i should have told you, spoken to you. i never should've let it get this far, i should've broken up with you before--"

"you said you loved me." you sob. "you said nothing could come between us, that you would marry me, you said that i was the girl of your dreams--"

"well i woke up!" he screams suddenly, chest heaving. you flinch, back hitting the wall. "i woke up, y/n!"

you stare. you're still crying. still bleeding.

"i woke up and realized i made a mistake," he continues. "i thought i could move on, that i could love you the same way i love her, but i can't. i can't, y/n. i can't and it's killing me." the pain in his voice, his eyes, is raw. "i know that that makes me a fucking cunt but i- i don't know...i'm sorry."

your heart shatters into a million jagged pieces at his words, the pain ripping through you like a violent storm. the truth hits you with a force you hadn't anticipated, leaving you gasping for breath amidst the wreckage of your shattered dreams.

for a moment, the world spins around you, and you struggle to find solid ground. how could everything unravel so swiftly? how could the love you believed in so fervently turn out to be nothing but a cruel illusion?

"i'm sorry," he repeats pathetically. "i do care about you, y/n, i swear--"

"stop," you whisper. "stop lying, chris. enough."

chan's shoulders slump, defeated, as if your words have drained him of all remaining strength. he takes a step back, hands falling limply to his sides.

"i understand if you hate me," he says softly, his voice barely audible over the sound of your own ragged breaths.

hate him? the thought seems foreign, inconceivable, despite the searing pain that courses through every fiber of your being. how could you hate the person who once meant everything to you? the person whose name used to bring a smile to your lips, whose touch once ignited a fire within your soul?

"i'm leaving," you say and you hate the small, desperate, pathetic part of you that hopes he'll stop you. he doesn't.

"okay," he says.

you stumble towards the door, your vision blurred by tears, your heart aching with a pain you never imagined possible. each step feels like an eternity, each breath a struggle to hold back the overwhelming flood of emotions threatening to consume you.

as you reach for the doorknob, your hand trembling, you steal one last glance over your shoulder. chan stands there, his silhouette illuminated by the dim light of the kitchen, his gaze fixed on the floor as if unable to meet your eyes.

for a fleeting moment, you wonder if he'll say something, if he'll beg you to stay, to give him another chance. but the silence stretches on, unbroken, and you realize that there are no words left to say, no apologies that can mend the shattered pieces of your heart.

youre outside before you can even comprehend it. your neighbors are now arguing loudly with the police in the middle, trying to break them up. one of them is struggling to escape into their blue car. it looks violent. it looks like the least of your worries.

the chilly night air hits you like a physical force, causing you to shiver involuntarily as you step out onto the deserted street. the echo of your own footsteps feels like a solemn march, a dirge for the love you thought you had.

you don't know where you're going, only that you need to get away, to escape the suffocating weight of betrayal that hangs heavy in the air around you. your mind is a whirlwind of emotions, each thought a jagged edge that cuts deeper into your wounded heart.

then you hear a car door slam. a loud screech. a shout. your name.

then you are hit by a blue car.

the world spins and there is pain everywhere but you can only focus on the sun that is just now rising. on the red and gold. it's very pretty, you realize. it's very pretty and it might just be the last one you see.

__________

chan swears he loves you. swears it with his whole chest, swears it on the tears that run down his cheeks as he holds your hand, swears it on the sun that is only just rising. swears it until his voice becomes hoarse, raw with his declaration.

he wants to believe that you can hear him. but your laying on the pavement, laying there and bleeding like its the only thing your body knows how to do.

you bleed and bleed and bleed.

[mingtinys]

" i would do anything for you "

pairing : lee chan x gn!reader

"13 ways to say "i love you" with seventeen"

warnings : traffic violations ( for a good cause ! )

word count : 0.6 k

a/n : it's bittersweet posting this last part of the series :( i'm so sad for it to end cause i've had so much fun , but i couldn't be happier with how it turned out ! thank you to everyone that showed this series so much love and support <3 next up .... an nct series !!

Maybe you're just being paranoid. Perhaps the scratching at your back door wasn't some crazed killer messing with you before the inevitable. In fact, it's extremely likely you've simply stayed up too late and now your brain is playing tricks. But are you willing to take that chance? Absolutely not.

The fifth scratch comes and you're picking up the phone to dial the first person you can think of.

Chan reaches your home at a speed only possible by violating a few traffic laws. Armed with nothing but a broken broomstick and his dinosaur bedroom slippers. You're not even sure he's entirely awake. But he marches his way through your home and straight to the back door with conviction, advising you to stay back while he handles it.

He lowers his voice a few octaves as he speaks. "Whoever is out there, you better knock it off!" The scratching noise picks up. "I'll come out there!" Chan warns, though sounding a little unsure. Yet the scratching never ceases.

At this point, the genius thought to call the police finally enters your panicked brain. Something that probably should have been your first instinct. But it's too late, you can hear Chan thrusting the door open. "Alright, you asked for it– oh..."

When your savior returns, a fluffy orange creature in hand, you feel your face drain of all color. Your friend's cat. The one you were supposed to be sitting while they were away on a business trip. You'd forgotten you'd even let him outside to explore hours ago.

Chan points to the cat with a mock-serious look, "Is this guy bothering you, babe?"

Though severely embarrassed, you let out a sigh of relief. "I'm so sorry, Peanut," you coo at the cat, carefully taking him from your boyfriend's arms and carrying him over to his food, which you're certain is what he was scratching to get in for.

When you spin back around, Chan's arms are crossed over his chest, an expectant look on his face. "You know, usually the knight in shining armor gets a kiss for his bravery."

The playful tone in his voice alleviates some of the guilt you feel for calling him over at two a.m. to defend you from a killer cat. A gesture for which you're more than happy to reward with a kiss or two. And once he's claimed his prize, Chan happily gathers you in his arms. He rubs circles into your back, soothing any remaining anxiety in your muscles.

"I'm sorry you came all the way here for nothing," you mumble into his shoulder. "I guess I watched one too many crime shows and sort of panicked."

"You don't need to apologize. It's my job to be here whenever you need me." He pulls back and takes your face in his hands, holding your gaze with genuine eyes. "I would do anything for you."

That confession earns him a second kiss, causing him to break out in a dopey grin. "My hero," you tease, although he looks rather proud of himself for it.

"One question though?"

"What's that?"

"If you thought someone was trying to break in, why didn't you just call the police?"

Trust, Chan is over the moon to be the person you call in a time of need. But realistically, what was he supposed to do? Fight to the death with his bare hands and a broomstick to save you? He absolutely would... doesn't mean he'd win.

You pause. "I don't know, I guess I just panicked and thought of you first."

Chan is probably going to be riding that ego boost for the rest of his life.

taglist: @matchahyuck @dontwannaexsist @minnieminshi @myfavoritedelusion @armycarat2612

[chxrry-chris]

[quokka143]

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[gnabhyunlix]

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