#Charles musgrove

[bethanydelleman]

AITA for going to dinner with my husband?

u/BoyMom4ever

I am a devoted mother (F24) to two boys (M4, M2), I spend all my time caring for them while my husband hunts or rides around in his ciricule. I cannot even drop them off with my mother-in-law because she always gives them far too many sweets! So when I was invited to a dinner at my in-laws, I really wanted a nice break for myself.

Unfortunately, my eldest fell out of a tree and dislocated his collar bone the day before the dinner. I was at his side day and night, luckily he has been recovering quickly and there is no damage to the spine. Thank God.

However, when it was time to go to the dinner, my husband said that he would go and that I should stay with our son! I could not see why a father can leave an ill child but not the mother. I said that I wanted to go too, but then he started on this sexist "mother's domain is nursing" routine and really wanted to leave me behind. We have a nursemaid and the dinner was only a short walk away! He would have been fine.

My sister offered to stay with my son, he is her nephew after all, so my husband and I both went to dinner. However, I felt like my MIL was judging me the whole time, even though she sends her children out to school, which I would never do. And of course, my eldest is doing great! Back to running around. AITA for going to dinner?

Top Comment:

u/PrettyInPink You are so valid for going to that dinner. How dare your husband tell you to stay home when you've already been nursing your son all day! He's probably the type that says he's "babysitting" when he watches his own kids.

I'm sure your sister sees how unfairly he is treating you, I'm so glad to hear that she stepped up to help. What a great sister!

NTA

u/BoyMom4ever This makes me feel so much better. Thank you. And I have a chronic illness on top of being a mom, so it's really hard for me right now. My husband really doesn't help enough at all and it's so hard for me.

AITA Masterpost

[hotjaneaustenmenpoll]

[nasty-bog-boy]

one thing i find funny (but probably shouldn't) about persuasion is that jane austen writes herself into a bit of a corner with regards to louisa musgrove and to get herself out of it she gives louisa permanent brain damage !!!!!!!!

wentworth himself admits all of the flirting prior to the fall has made everyone think theyre engaged (and possibly louisa thinks so too) and so he cannot pursue anne like he truly wants too because he won't jilt lousia.

and obviously jane austen needs to find a way for this couple to face obstacles but also end up together, so when shes got everyone convinced there something between wentworth and louisa she gives louisa a massive head injury that permanantly alters her behaviour. at the end of the novel charles musgrove tells anne that ever since her accident and coma louisa hates loud noises and twitches about and needs to be soother by captain benwick. obviously now we can read that as brain damage from her huge head injury.

idk theres just something so extreme about jane austen's most romantic and melancholy novel about reuniting with your lost love also featuring brain damage as a plot device to break up a potential relationship!!!!!! its bananas to me!

[mametupa]

[kajaono]

New pictures of Ben Bailey Smith as Charles Musgrove

[rationalseries]

Everyone's favourite wives

[showmethesneer]

Mary: If there is anything disagreeable going on men are always sure to get out of it.. So here he is to go away and enjoy himself, and because I am the poor mother, I am not to be allowed to stir.

Me:

[evil-sometimes]

persuasion in chapter seven

i already posted fanfiction that I did for uni, so just for fun, here is an essay i did for the same class. the book we were studying was persuasion by jane austen. this was the first austen novel that i actually finished and i enjoyed it a lot. anyway, heres my essay, bc academic validation. (i hope i would actually be allowed to post it? i dont think i would get in trouble for plagiarism. oh well)

In the text, persuasion is shown as reconciling motivations to reach a decision. Characters enact the process of persuasion with both group dialogue and internal thought. Their motivations are a collective of social code, personality, and agenda. In this passage, several distinct characters perform persuasion, yet each of them fulfils the definition in their separate ways. The reconciliation of Charles' persuasion doesn't take great effort because of the freedom afforded to his character and position. The women, on the other hand, make greater compromises. 

The first decision to occur is Charles Musgrove's intention to meet Captain Wentworth at his father's house. For a moment the narrative follows Charles' internal thought process attempting to justify himself. This is made possible by his social position. As a father and husband, it is not required of him to stay home because looking after a child is "quite a female case". Additionally, there is a more personal context surrounding the situation. Charles has shown to be quite apathetic and unbothered by his wife's concerns and hysterics. While biased, Mary's description of him as "Very unfeeling!" may not be inaccurate. Of course, on the very basic level, his key motivation for this is that he wants to meet Wentworth. In his method of persuasion, there is very little to analyse. As the head of the household, he is perfectly justified in simply announcing his decision and does not need to resort to any sort of manipulation. Thus the description of "his making a bold, public declaration". The persuasion that occurs at the beginning of the passage is Charles convincing himself (rather than anyone else) of the correctness of his intentions. 

Mary has different motivations to Charles, so her persuasion differs also. It is identified in the text that "Husbands and wives generally understand when opposition will be vain". This is key to Mary's portion of the passage. As with Charles, her actions are guided by her social position ("she said nothing, therefore, till he was out of the room") but her obligations as a parent and spouse are greater than his. She is "the poor mother," who is "not to be allowed to stir". Her husband's decision and the surrounding social context conflict with her established personal character. She resents any inattention to her and tends to express this emotionally and audibly. In this passage, she wants to be included in the Musgrove social circle and meet Wentworth. The persuasion that she exhibits attempts to reconcile these elements.  The compromise is only able to happen when Anne proposes to look after the child and endorses her decision to leave: "Mr and Mrs Musgrove cannot think it wrong while I remain with him". Mary's method of persuasion operates within certain social expectations. It is only through manipulation and evasion of these expectations ("they want me excessively to be acquainted with Captain Wentworth") that she can satisfy her agenda. 

Of the characters, Anne is the most constricted in her social position. She is not prioritised due to her gender and unmarried status. Charles can claim that "His father very much wished him to meet Captain Wentworth" and Mary says similarly. Anne, on the other hand, is not an essential or desired participant in their social circle. The purpose of her presence there is to look after Mary. Anne accepts this reality without much trial. Where Mary's personality clashes with her societal obligations, Anne is generally compliant to it. She takes personal pride in her utility to others and happily caters to others' needs. This is not to say that she does not have needs of her own. Her agenda in this passage is to avoid meeting Wentworth, and possibly get a reprieve from Mary. Her relationship with Wentworth is entrenched in so much emotion and uncertainty, so she desires to prevent confrontation with him or her feelings. In her method of persuasion, she must operate within the constraints of her responsibility: "You, who have not a mother's feelings, are a great deal the properest person". She agrees with Mary's produced perspective on the situation and satisfies her usefulness to others, "the sincerity of her manner being soon sufficient to convince".

[gravything]

rewatching Andor (having a GREAT time) and looked up Ben Bailey Smith because I KNEW he’d become much more familiar since the last rewatch—it’s Taskmaster. it’s because of Taskmaster.

[bethanydelleman]

Married the wrong person, made the best of it:

Lady Elliot 🤝 Charlotte Lucas 🤝 Charles Musgrove

Married the wrong person, made the worst of it:

Maria Rushworth 🤝 Mr. Bennet 🤝 Mary Musgrove

[plainselfraisingflour]

"Charles Hayter exceedingly happy, and they were devoted to each other."

Before this they were kind of a couple, but not really: "between whom there had been a considerable appearance of attachment"; "and Henriette did seem to like him." From this we can see that they are on the edge of becoming a couple, as well as from all thr interest that Henrietta takes I'm Charles Hayter's career prospects.

But - the above quotes are about appearances and not what they actually are. That first one is also a pretty long-winded (I.e., namby pamby) sentence. "[T]hey were devoted to each other" is a phrase much more powerful.

And this mutual devotion is brought about by a break (albeit a short one), and rekindling of the romance.

It's foreshadowing and promise of the strength of Anne and Captain Wentworth's love that stands the test of time and circumstance. Not that anyone, I think, needs testament of their love, but I like it.

[reportwire]

Today in History: December 4, the "Million Dollar Quartet"

Today in History: December 4, the “Million Dollar Quartet”

Today in History Today is Sunday, Dec. 4, the 338th day of 2022. There are 27 days left in the year. Today’s Highlights in History: On Dec. 4, 1956, Elvis Presley, Johnny Cash, Jerry Lee Lewis and Carl Perkins gathered for the first and only time for a jam session at Sun Records in Memphis. On this date: In 1783, Gen. George Washington bade farewell to his Continental Army officers at Fraunces…

[mametupa]

[kajaono]

Ben Bailey smith (Charles Musgrove) shared a not yet released picture of his character in Lyme

Guess in the background we can see Benwick

[hotjaneaustenmenpoll]

Round One Master List

Mr Darcy (1995) Vs Robert Martin (2009)

Mr Darcy (2005) Vs Mr Collins (1995)

Mr Darcy (1940) Vs Mr Collins (2005)

Mr Darcy (P&P&Z) Vs Mr Collins (P&P&Z)

Mr Knightley (1996) Vs John Knightley (2009)

Mr Knightley (1996) Vs Mr Elliot (2007)

Mr Knightley (2009) Vs Edmund Bertram (1999)

Mr Knightley (2020) Vs Mr Elton (2009)

Captain Wentworth (1995) Vs Captain Benwick (2007)

Captain Wentworth (2007) Vs Frank Churchill (1996)

Captain Wentworth (2022) Vs Captain Harville (2007)

Mr Tilney (2007) Vs Henry Crawford (2007)

Edmund Bertram (2007) Vs Mr Elton (2020)

Edward Ferrars (2008) Vs Edward Ferrars (1971)

Edward Ferrars (1995) Vs Frank Churchill (2022)

Colonel Brandon (1995) Vs Colonel Fitzwilliam (1995)

Colonel Brandon (2008) Vs Colonel Brandon (1981)

Wickham (1995) Vs Frederick Tilney (2007)

Wickham (2005) Vs Denny (1995)

Wickham (1940) Vs Mr Elton (1996)

Willoughby (1995) Vs Mr Elliot (1995)

Willoughby (2008) Vs Mr Rushworth (1999)

Henry Crawford (1999) Vs Captain Harville (2022)

Henry Crawford (1983) Vs Frank Churchill (1996)

Mr Elliot (2022) Vs Captain Benwick (1995)

Frank Churchill (2009) Vs Mr Palmer (1995)

Tom Bertram (1999) Vs William Price (2007)

Mr Sidney Parker (2019) Vs Mr Bingley (P&P&Z)

Robert Martin (2022) Vs Robert Martin (1996)

Mr Bingley (1995) Vs John Thorpe (2007)

Mr Bingley (2005) Vs Charles Musgrove (2022)

Reginald DeCourcy (2016) Vs Mr Collins (1940)

[nasty-bog-boy]

it's just one of those days when it's raining and I really have to talk about Anne Elliot in Persuasion and how much i love this woman with every single fibre of my being.

i just want us to have heroines like Anne Elliot. in my opinion she's one of the best heroines of English literature, especially for when you're a bit older and wiser and you have experienced the unfairness and heartbreak of life.

Anne is miserable in many ways. she's stuck in a life she doesn't want, lacks agency in her life and was persuaded to not only turn down the love of her life but also a good man that could've taken her away from this. Charles Musgrove may not be captain Wentworth but he's a decent man with a family who cares for her and had she married him Anne would at least have a home and independence.

yet despite this she doesn't resent Lady Russell and continues to count her as a close friend. she understands that Lady Russell was genuinely acting out of concern for Anne but is also a flawed person who carried her own predjucides into her judgements of that men.

instead of being witty or confident or optimistic Anne's virtues are patience, kindness and forgiveness. she isn't a doormat but she is a person and does get worn down by the circumstances of her life. she keeps her head in a crisis and looks out for the wellbeing of her friends. she actively listens to people and cares for others. her virtues are all things we can cultivate within ourselves if we try.

Anne doesn't carry her heartbreak with melodramatic, teenage angst like Marianne Dashwood. she mourns what she's lost but understands that it was the result of her own actions and she must accept that. i think this is a feeling readers can understand when we get older. Anne has loved and lost in a way that can related to but she doesn't allow it to corrupt her character.

having romantic heroines that perhaps don't light up a room with their beauty or win heart with their charisma but instead become endeared to both other characters and the reader through their patience and kindness just warms my heart. i think we should try to be more like Anne in our lives. despite the sadness she's living in at the start of the novel her life ends happily, because her kindness and care for others eventually becomes noticed, not just by a man but also by herself as she finally understands her value.

idk i just have a lot of feelings about Persuasion and i could talk about it for days