#Clerk! reader

[harveywritings92]

Soap: How’s Ghost’s head?

R/n, annoyed: Still full of bullshit.

Soap:...

R/n: Oh... You meant when he walked into that flag pole this morning. He’s fine.

Soap: …

R/n: Why are you still staring for?...(looks over her shoulder) Oh crap, is he behind me?

{Ghost is sitting on the chair next to her with out his mask on.)

Simon, flatly: No. I’m beside you...

R/n, jumps away shocked: Ahhh! 

{The reader is so used to seeing Ghost with his mask on, she often forgets what Simon looks like. Also the reason the reader is acting so catty is because Ghost stood her up on a date, he didn’t mean to. A female recruit who was after him, tricked Ghost into helping her with some tasks knowing full well he had a date with R/n. Long story short, the recruit tried to make a move and Ghost tore her down a few pegs in front of everyone. He tried to apologize to R/n for missing their date but she was giving him the cold shoulder so he’s basically following her around like a lost puppy...]

[PART 2]

[kleinne10]

Halloween! AKA, Y/N/reader/anon's best night (with size difference because deez nu-).

I originally made them at Mcdonald's, but my brain went funky... This was also kinda experimental? Drawing with a mouse sucks, but I like the thick brush.

Sorry for not posting anything! Will drop some Fallout shitposts this weekend

[ooffmlsorry]

One Piece Men Driving (you around)

monster trio

A/N: I don't know a lot about Kid but I thought I'd give a shot anyway :I I'm really sorry if he's OOC

LAW

Would make a great get away driver honestly, like he genuinely has a great understanding of driving/the road and hardly ever gets lost and he knows you think that's hot

He drives SO FAST like WHERE ARE YOU GOING??? This man actively considers the speed limit a challenge

For that reason he's either always early or on time to pick you up...but somehow suspiciously late getting you home 😉

8/10 times he's in charge of the music, it depends on your taste and his mood honestly. If you don't have the same music taste, he'll grin and bear it because he loves you, really you're torturing this man

Yeah he drives really fast but never in a school zone or neighborhood, he takes that really seriously

Acts like it's a big pain to drive you around but secretly loves it and always claims he was headed that way even if he wasn't

Loves late night drives with you that end in some empty parking lot to talk for hours or make out or both

The two of your are menaces to late night convenience store clerks

Loves holding your hand or keeping a hand on your thigh while driving

Keeps his car pretty clean except for all the coffee cups and energy drink cans on the floor in the backseat that he thinks you don't notice

KID

His car > you sorry not sorry

Drives a loud, obnoxious hot rod

Drives like a MANIAC and LOVES IT. Fuck it we ball, if y'all die then y'all die. This man is not afraid to take a risk and you know that

That being said he'd probably never put you in real danger

"Oh look, y/n there's some kids riding their bikes. LET'S HIT 'EM!!" does not actually hit the kids but definitely keeps a point score in his head as if he did. "You know I just missed 40 points for you, tricycles are worth more."

Doesn't let you drive it but thinks you look totally hot behind the wheel

Gets there when he gets there, babe, but wherever you're going you're going in style

Genuinely loves blasting the music when he's near you so you know he's on the way

The best part of driving with him is being obnoxiously loud and wild and free together

Acts like he's gonna crash just to mess with you a little

Drag races for sure

Secretly prefers your company over everyone else's while tinkering with the car y'all have definitely fucked on top of it like he just likes having you in presence while he works, it kind of puts him at peace

There's definitely some kind of detail that's an homage to you and any sort of decoration you buy that he can put in his car he will

ACE

I'm so serious DO NOT distract this man

It takes every last brain cell he has not to fuck up

Like when he's alone he's fine, but as soon as another person's in the car with him he gets so distracted especially with you

He can't help it he's just so happy to see you and talk to you and look at you and whoops! There was the exit he was supposed to take

He's either picking you up a half an hour early or twenty minutes late there's no in between

Y'all share the music but he can listen to just about anything just don't put on anything boring

You already know the deal, if y'all end up going out to eat you're driving home because he's absolutely asleep

Definitely prefers back roads and intentionally takes the "long way" so he can spend more time with you

Of course there's a 50/50 chance y'all are gonna get real lost anyway so either way he's spending more time with you

Gets really embarrassed anytime he fucks up so don't backseat drive because it'll only make it worse

King of Normalize Hitting the Curb™️

Loves a good snack run

[ktficworld]

Lies and Lavish

"You finally pull your head out of your studies and go to your long time friend's wedding to relax. And it's going to be alright, even if the infamous five brothers tend to linger around you a little too long, even when you share a past with one of them, even if their darkness is slowly approaching you. It's going to be okay, right?"

Coming soon to your nearest dashboard.

[icarus-star]

babe wakeup!! new welcome to willits bts just dropped!!

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Oc! Oc! Oc!

Some yan oc hc with a cute chub GN reader

Yandere Serial Killer

Everyone was on edge. The amount of murders that occurred in your part of town amped up to a debilitating degree; to the point that the general public no longer walked outside. If the lack of people outside was bad enough, your buddy system was failing. Your roommate who worked at the same place used to walk with you from place to place only for them to recently have to move away due to family issues. 

Now you are on your own. 

To work. To school. To the store. You had to move as fast as you could. 

No more than 30…that's what you told yourself

30 minutes to do whatever you had to do before leaving. You couldn’t keep it together any longer. Suffering from the collective paranoia of the entire town you kept to yourself, no friends, no family, you were on your own. Even the people you know that you buy things from no matter how many times they smiled at you or offered their help. They couldn’t be trusted. No one could. 

“Oh (Y/n), how are you today? Everything okay on your walk over?”

It was Penn, the owner of the grocery store that was within 30 minutes. Smiley and bright before the events of the serial killer he was a known favorite. Even so you couldn’t bring yourself to say anything but the typical response.

“I’m fine.”

“How’s your jogging routine going? Are you still doing that?”

You huffed as you continued putting your items on the belt pretending to not hear the question as the same person that subjugated you to it in the first place. Before Mo you were fine with yourself exercising when you wanted and doing as you liked when you liked. But with a person like Mo there was no getting around it. Mo was your landlord, a nutty fellow that had an outward appearance of being a lovely parent over the tenants. In truth they were a crummy old person that liked to practice their helicopter parenting on everyone and her latest victim was you. 

Forcing you to run ‘to fix that weight of yours’ many times you had tried to inform them about the fact this was simply your body shape but she refused to listen. Promising to lock you out of your apartment if you should ignore their ‘advice’ again; you tested them one time and ended up sleeping outside your door before they woke up. 

You saw Penn make a face before ringing up the rest of your items. 

“H-heym you’re looking for a roommate…”

Your head snapped up as you were finishing your payment, as you cautiously asked. 

“How do you know that?”

He was blushing in embarrassment as he shuffled his feet.

“Your roommate suggested I ask you…I’m looking for a place.” Seeing the disbelief on your face he put his hands up in defense.”I-i have the money with me in cash if you want it right away.”

He seemed desperate and for as long as you’d known him never once did you question his character. Was it really okay to break your rule?

______________________________________________________________________

“Thanks so much for inviting me to take a look around (Y/n)! I really appreciate it!” 

Against your better judgement you let him come over and like a puppy he dashed around taking in every bit of the apartment. 

You shook your head as his eyes darted around the vacant room. A smile started to creep on your face as you thought of the possibilities…maybe he could be your new buddy. It’d be a shame if someone deprived you of that in these dangerous times.

Knock

Knock

“Hey (Y/n)! Who’s in there with you?!”

Your door unlocked and in came Mo smelling as if they dunked themselves in the worst smelling 

Perfume they could find. Trudging past you they came to look at Penn who was now also looking surprised at the gremlin who let themselves in. 

“Ohh my goodness is that you Penn? What are you doing here? I doubt they actually took the time to go ahead and invite you over.”

He laughed awkwardly as he sent a worried look over to you before centering back on the fast approaching landlord.

“A-actually they did. They let me come over to see the room I’ll be getting if they let me be their roommate.”

“Oh please, if you need a room I can do that and more for even half the price!”

Was your landlord really trying to hit on and steal your potential roommate? You just rolled your eyes as you leaned yourself on the nearby wall just waiting for Mo to get tired enough to show herself out. Unfortunately she didn’t plan to do that; and ended up attempting to flirt with him for nearly the whole afternoon. Looking outside it was getting dark out and you began to worry about Penn and against your better judgment you intervened. 

“Uhm Mo, hey I think you should be letting Penn leave seeing as it's getting late and a serial killer is at large.” 

“Oh you're such a worrywart (Y/n)! Penn’s a strong man; he'll handle himself. But if you want I can offer my room! It’s a suite–!”

“I-uh actually would rather not..if I was going to stay I definitely wouldn’t  be staying with you.”

“What?! And you’d stay with this chubby kid?”

You were going to blow it off, another statement to ignore but Penn apparently wasn’t having it. The man you’d never see so much as scrunch his eyebrows in anger held your landlord by their shoulders holding them at arm's length with a shadow on his face. Amazed and slightly worried for Mo you stepped in putting a hand on his lower back. Immediately he snapped out of it looking at you and his arms in surprise before releasing your landlord who grunted and angrily stpmped out of your door. You both sat in the silence of relief before you broke it. 

“I-if you do want to stay with me for the night, I don’t mind. And if you wanted to move in that’d be cool too, that is if she still lets you.”

“Ha-ha, thanks and if it's cool I’ll totally move in. But I can get home okay,” he headed for the door before turning with one last smile towards you. “I really appreciate it. I'll text you when I get home.”

“Sure, okay bye.”

You leaned against the door before leaning a bit as you imagined him being your roommate. 

Having someone around that defends you didn’t sound so bad. You shook your head as you went off to complete your chores. After all, you had to do some cleaning before your new roommate may start moving things in. 

____________________________________________________________

“Hah~hah (Y/n)--(Y/n)--(Y/n)-ergh! 

Disheveled and breathing heavily, Penn was sitting with his pants down in the hallway just outside your door. He tried to catch his breath while still replaying the euphoria that he felt just three minutes and 40 seconds before. Not only did he get to see your living space with the lights on but he even got to feel the plush warmth of your hand on his back. Penn growled silently as he thought of why you did but nonetheless it reminded him of his future plans for that night. 

He grinned as he sent the text to you before pocketing his phone and knocking on your landlord’s door. When it opened Penn batted his eyes and puckered his lips like he’d done so many times before.

“Oh Mo, I didn’t mean to be so aggressive earlier! I was just playing with you, I do want to spend the night and I want to do it at your place.”

“Were ya? Well I’ll be, make yourself at home handsome while I freshen up.”

Penn smiled, pulling back his hair and putting on his beloved latex gloves. 

“Take your time dear,” he spotted the decorative knife block on display in the kitchen. 

“Take your time…”

[danisbrainrot]

Here's a small little request!

Lucy Gray x Reader (Established Relationship)

Lucy Gray is really scared of how you will get along with the rest of the Covey cause their all really protective of each other. Reader meets the Covey on a journey to the lake and gets along with the Covey. The younger Covey members treat the Reader like an older sibling (annoying them as much as possible) and it just warms Lucy's heart.

Just a cute little idea!

lucy gray x reader

I'll always be such a softie for the covey <333 (I'll never forgive you, coriolanus, for stealing lucy gray from them.)

you stare in shock, mouth agape as your girlfriend invites you to go to the lake with the covey. "what?" she asks nervously, before you engulf her in your arms, embracing her tightly.

"of course I want to go," you reply, feeling her relax against your body. "I never thought you'd ask, honestly," you admit.

she sighs, pulling away gently and shrugging, "of course, it's about time you visited my favourite place in the world," she smiles widely. this relationship was still new—it was delicate. you didn't want to scare each other off just yet by being too forward. so when lucy gray asked, your heart warmed as you realised she was finally comfortable enough to consider inviting you to the covey's hiding place.

she kisses you passionately, before hearing her cue to go back on stage. "bye, darlin'," she whispers, before running on stage—leaving you to stare at her in awe.

the next day, you trudged along the dirt path that led to the forest from the seam with a backpack over your shoulders. once you get to the meadow, you spot the small group and wave out to them. you ran up to kiss lucy gray on the cheek, before being introduced to her family. maude ivory pulled you into a tight hug, smiling widely and nudging her cousin's side. lucy gray rolls her eyes, brushing off her younger cousin. barb azure offers you a kind smile while tam amber nods softly. clerk carmine smiles brightly and hugs you as well.

all six of you hike to the lake, chatting along the way. they were practically grilling you, "what do you do?" or "what did you think of last night's performance?" causing you to feel flustered. you answer honestly, occasionally looking for help from lucy gray, but other than that you were already getting along like a house on fire.

when you finally make it to the lake, everyone strips to their swimmers and runs to the pier. "I'll race ya!" maude ivory calls out, sprinting to the water as your eyes widen in shock. without hesitation, you chase after her—clerk carmine, wanting to feel included, not too far behind—and manage to jump off the pier before she could.

lucy gray's laughter echoed throughout the small area, as she watched you play with the younger children in the lake. she enjoyed watching you get along with her family, especially maude ivory. her younger cousin was an excellent test of character—and she'd taken an immediate liking to you.

as the day progresses, you become closer with the other members as well. tam amber and barb azure, while often quite soft spoken, found they could be comfortable around you and would engage in conversation eagerly.

at one point in the afternoon, you lock eyes with lucy gray, who intertwines her fingers with yours and rests her head on your shoulder. "well, they sure seem to like you," she teases.

"yeah. I'm glad you asked me out here today," you reply, kissing the top of her forehead.

"boy am I glad you came."

[bqu1nns]

intermittently - brian q.

my first fan fic ever!! [clap] [clap] in this fanfic, brian is a minor, 16-17 years old???? and the reader is a minor as well so no freaky stuff!!! leave comments on how i can improve PLEASEEE i love ya bye bye !

word count : 713

january 29th 1992

“i think i love you”, brian says to you, as the confession echoes through the late winter air. his words are pouring out more than he would have hoped. his gaze remained focused on your eyes only, observing your reaction with a mixture of embarrassment and uncertainty. 

he is certainly not the type of highschool teenager to get all shy and nervous around other people but whenever he was around you, brian's demeanor shifted in your presence. he became a gentle and caring soul, a stark contrast to his usual self. from the first day you stepped into high school, he took it upon himself to ensure your well-being, guiding you through the hallways and making sure you found your classes.

the place of confession, in all honesty, isn't ideal. but, it does hold sentimental value – just right outside the back doors of your highschool that had witnessed countless moments between the two of you. from accidental hand touches in the cafeteria line, exchanging silly faces in the hallway and sharing lunches by the football field, this place held a trove of shared memories.

 you always thought to yourself that it was impossible to ever get bored of him. brian had a knack of turning uncomfortable moments into wholesome jokes, gently caressing your shoulder in hopes of making you feel better. everytime he leaves those innocent touches against your skin, you can't help but blush, trying to change the subject as quickly as possible. 

with the help of the cold january breeze nipping against your neck, you snap back to reality. the very boy that you've liked for a year just said the words that you've spent nights fantasizing and giggling against your pillow about. the soft wind tousled his soft brown hair, revealing his furrowed eyebrows, still awaiting for an answer while you were daydreaming.  

a subtle tension lingers in the air between the two of you, like a red string tied to the both of you. brian senses that you felt contemplated in the moment, took a step back, and let you figure out what you were going to say next. he places his hands over his face in complete embarrassment, letting out a nervous laugh and says, “look, i didn't mean to put you on the spot or anything. i just wanted to let you know how i feel for you since i've been sensing some things have changed between the two of us.” 

god! hes sickeningly sweet.

“i.. i never would have expected this,” you say, trying to control your heart from jumping out of your chest. you finally look up to brian to see how beautiful he looks. the winter sun had casted a soft glow on his face, accentuating the sincerity of his brown eyes. 

i wanna kiss him. badly. 

brian, who can't stop smiling, stood in front of you, softly brushing the hair from your face with his fingers. his hands then moved down to your jacket, anxiously playing with the zipper. the awkward silence was filled with unspoken emotions. 

“you know, brian,” you begin softly, “this might sound crazy but, i've been trying to muster those words for the longest time myself.” his lips part gently, waiting to hear what you’ll say next. 

“i love you,” you confessed. his eyes, wide with surprise and joy, met yours, and the entire atmosphere shifted. brian’s mittens, warm against your gentle skin, cupped your cheek. “i've been waiting to hear those words for so long,” brian whispered against your forehead, pressing a kiss against it. 

a moment of hesitation flows through the both of you as your bodies are close against one another. everything is silent except for the sound of the two sounds of breathing and giggles leaving the both of you. he leans in closer to your face, merely inches away. without any needed words, both of your lips met in a kiss. 

you finally feel the lips you've been wanting to kiss ever since the day he lended you his coat when you were feeling a “bit cold”. since the day he held you gently in his arms as you cried in his arms. since the day he “accidentally” kissed your cheek when you accomplished something that you've been wanting. 

since forever. 

[harveywritings92]

[Part two of this} Simon glares at a wall as R/n sheepishly sits next to him; fidgeting with her shirt...Soap and Gaz watch them while eating a bag of Cheetos.]

Soap: Wow...Two hours since he started not talkin’ to R/n, Ghost’s a stubborn one that’s for sure!

Gaz: It’s amazing how he turned this whole fiasco around on R/n, that’s some serious talent...*Soap nods*

{Meanwhile with Simon and Reader.}

Simon: I have nothing to say to you...

R/n: C’mon Si, it was an honest mistake...It could’ve happened to anybody.

Simon: But it happened with you of all people.

R/n: It’s not that bad...

Simon: Not that bad?...How could you say that when you forgot what I look like? I’m your husband for fuck sakes! 

R/n: You walk around base day and night wearing a dang skull mask 85% of the time I see you.... How the hell do you expect me not to grow accustomed to the mask more than your actual face?!

Simon:....

R/n:...

Soap & Gaz:...

Gaz, under his breath: I mean... She’s not wrong.

Simon, sighs: That’s fair....Tell ya what, How about we just forget everything that’s happened the last couple days, and move on wit’ our lives? (Simon put his mask on)

R/n: ...What about-

Ghost: Already dealt with it.. I doubt that recruit will try anything like that again.

Soap: Yeah...Especially after the vicious verbal tear down Ghost gave her...

Gaz: ...Not to mention he made her run 10 laps around the entire base; in the heat, causing all that make-up she threw on to melt! She looked like something out of a Picasso painting when she finished her laps. 

R/n:...What?

Ghost: We’ve been together for five years love, did you honestly think that some whelp whose barely got any dirt on her boots could sway me away from you? My silly girl?

[R/n’s face felt hot as Ghost pulled her into a one armed hug as Soap and Gaz took that as their cue to leave. Ghost and R/n had a make up date after this.]

[daddycassie]

Can you write me a fanfic where barb looks after me bc I'm infected with the flu

Alot of cuddles and TOOTH CRUMBLING FLUFF

🩷

Let Me Take Care of You Sweety

Pairing: Barb Azure x Fem! Reader, 516 words

Warnings: Sickfic, tooth-crumbling fluff <3

———————————

The second you show a single symptom of being even just possibly sick, Barb Azure is at your side, feeling all over your face for heat.

“Baby, you’ve got a fever” She’d say, looking at you with a soft expression.

She’d order you to rest. If you try to get up she won’t hesitate to force you back down on the bed — she’s actually pretty strong despite how she looks.

Lil bit of tough love.

“You ain’t gettin’ up from this bed sick, long as I live.” You think she’s sweet, but also VERY dramatic.

The rest of the covey is worried about you because Barb acts like the world is going to end as she scrapes together what she can to make you some soup.

Lucy Gray comes into your room a couple times a day for as long as your sick and either sings you a song or talks to you a bit, but if she notices you look tired she’ll leave you alone to sleep.

Maude Ivory brings you things. Toys, treats, trinkets, she thinks it’ll heal your ailment. She’d also try to cuddle you but Barb Azure put a stop to that real fast

“You’re not gettin’ sick too. Scoot!”

Tam Amber mysteriously, somehow, gets and brings you medicine. You’d stare at him in shock while he walks out.

Cc brings you flowers to your bedside. It’s sweet and all, but it definitely makes you feel like he’s treating the flu like you’re about to die.

Barb Azure spoon feeds you soup, it’s very starchy with some carrot in it. You’d offer her a smile.

“You got salt for me?”

She’d blush and shrug sheepishly.

“I thought it was only fair that your food has a bit of flavor. Ya don’t feel good sweety.”

You thank her, and eat the soup — the warmth is soothing.

When you find yourself aching Barb rubs your back, giving you a gentle, soothing massage. She’s clearly concerned, mumbling.

“My poor baby.” “I’m sorry honey.” “That’s it, you’re okay.”

You fall asleep peacefully… to a very odd dream.

Something about a mouse, the games, and somebody named Ida? You had no idea who that was.

You wake up in a cold sweat, forgetting where you are.

You shiver, swearing. Barb Azure and her sixth sense — she rushes in and holds you, assuring you it was a dream.

You cling to her while she tries to help you feel warm. It was an odd feeling for you — shivering in spring.

If you get a headache, you’ll notice the whole house becomes very, VERY quiet, it’s actually really unnerving.

Barb Azure claims she most certainly had nothing to do with it be she absolutely did and you both know it.

Overall — Barb Azure can be a bit overbearing, but she’s a very loving partner and she’ll always do her best to take care of you no matter what.

———————————

Note: This is my first time writing a fic for Barb, I like how it turned out even if it’s not the longest thing I’ve ever written — I adore Barb Azure and I want her to take care of me like this too tbh 💛

Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed 😚 I’m going to open requests again after this one!

[anonymous-rooster]

Can you do Randal please :3

Randal Graves Random Relationship Headcanons

- He is slightly embarrassed when giving actual verbal/physical affection that isn’t complimenting your ass or being a “creep”

- Loves acts of service, helping around the house every now and then, getting something repaired, etc

- Always an arm around you, either your shoulder or waist he always has to keep you near

- Small quick pecks on your face or full on making out

- Gets a bit handsy with a smug look on his face

- Of course he’s gonna watch a ton of movies with you, and if you’re easily scared he purposefully puts on horror movies

- Gets very flirtatious and winks at you a lot

- Glares at any guy he notices getting close to you

- Doesn’t say “I love you” as much as he should, instead says it in his own ways

- While you sleep beside him he’ll whisper it before drifting off the sleep with you

[melancholypancakes]

Morpheus and Y/N talk

This whole scene from The Clerk’s first movie and I love it so much! XD I see y/n and Morpheus having this conversation 

Morpheus: you suck that guy’s dick?! 

Y/N:...Yeah, how do you think I knew...

Morpheus: Wait, but you said you only had sex with three different guys you never mentioned him!

Y/N: Because I never had sex with him. 

Morpheus: You suck his dick! 

Y/N:  we hung out a few times, we never had sex, but we fooled around! 

Morpheus: why did you tell me you only had sex with three different guys? 

Y/N: Because I did have sex with three different guys, that doesn’t mean I didn’t just go with people. 

Morpheus: By the gods, Y/N I feel so nauseous... 

Y/N: I’m sorry, Morpheus I thought you understood.

Morpheus: I did understand. I understood you had sex with different guys and that’s all you said!

Y/N: Please, calm down! 

Morpheus: How many?!

Y/N: Dream- 

Morpheus: How many dicks did you suck?!

Y/N: Let it go! 

Morpheus: HOW MANY?! 

Y/N: Alright! shut up a second and I’ll tell you, Jesus! I didn’t freak out like this when you told me how many girlfriends you fuck!

*Matthew uncomfortable* 

Morpheus: This is different, this is important how many?!

Y/N:...

Morpheus: Well?

Y/N: Something like thirty-six...

Morpheus: What?! something like thirty-six?! 

Y/N: Lower you’re voice. 

Morpheus: Wait, what does that have to do with anyways. Something like thirty-six, does that include me?! 

Y/N:... Um, thirty-seven.

Morpheus: I’M THIRTY-SEVEN?! 

Y/N: I’m going to work. 

https://youtu.be/1OQl89ewXvc 

[obsessedwhim]

Late Night Shift

"Hey, feels like it's gonna be quiet for the night" You swung in the all-important Security Chair, glancing through the store's cameras and seeing that- once again for the fourth time in the hour and a half you'd been checking- there was none there, wandering through the half-filled shelves while they wailed to be skimmed through.

"You wanna go home? You got exams right?" You asked the younger worker who leaned on a nearby wall with phone in hand, his brow cocked at the reason "You gonna use this against me later?" He quickly retorted, not stopping in his relentless screen swiping.

Leaning further into the chairs back you hummed to yourself "As long as you don't piss me off, probably not"

It took a moment to reflect the fellow store clerk to argue with himself but with a final glance at you, he accepted and left with a jean jacket in hand.

Now it was just you and the shop, and the eventual strangers that would later begin trailing in through the door at random times during the night.

You only had around three hours left till the end of your shift so it's not like they'd be overwhelming you at any point, but it was a good time to start getting the paperwork and cash lifts out of the way, and then dumping out the old food of yesterday which was an easy task to take care of, so why not do it now?

The current Supervisor, who was doing little supervising, stood with one last glance at the split screen and eyed the back building camera to make sure it was empty of any wildlife, but as you picked up the stuffed trash bag you failed to notice a strange claw mark which scraped itself onto one of the buildings further walls.

"Mami don't know... mhhmhmhm.. dropping it.. poppin it.. mmhmhmhmm" you mumbled, listening to the local radio which echoed throughout the construction, a hand reaching out to the back fire escape and groaning when said escape refused to open to the outside world "What the, I was out there earlier.."

Thinking for a moment you released a dramatic sigh before going with plan B "Front door it is" You switched the bag to your other hand before making your way around the side of your place of work and dropping the trash to the ground.

"I...uh..." The space behind the shop had been thoroughly beaten up, as if a large creature had thrown an awful tantrum in your short time between leaving the office and now, bizarrely there were large claw marks littered everywhere- not to mention the dumpster had also been... thrown? It looked like.

"wHAT?!"

A nearby bush ratted unnecessarily and you held a quick Karate move, effective? Probably not, life-saving?... We'll see.

The shrubbery shivered as something grew closer and closer, glancing around you for a weapon your sweat output increased as you recalled the monstrous marks left behind by.. something, could that be what was coming? What on this Earth could make something like that?

Maybe Bigfoot?

You couldn't take it, reaching for a handy stick on the floor you yelped as something grabbed your shoulder "Don't! Get Off Me! HEEEL-"

Though you were happy to see it was a human hand covering up your screams, it still quickly became a very horrid feeling, and then just like that whoever held you spoke "Stop Screamin' Already!"

Fearful orbs sharpened in anger as you licked his hand and began slapping the male with your makeshift weapon "Why! Would! You! Do! That!" You scorned through the slaps, Ichigo was quick to grab the twig and pull it from your hands "You shouldn't just scream at things movin' close like that, it could just be an animal y'know"

"Do you not see this?" you held out a hand to your ransacked task "No mere animal did this!"

"Don't get all weird about this, it could've just been a bear" he shrugged, and you glanced over your shoulder "Kurakara has bears?"

"Maybe" Ichigo united his shoulders for another unhelpful shrug and glanced to this side, trying to act nonchalant about the whole situation.

"And what're you doing out here anyway? I thought you were getting up early tomorrow and here I find you being as shifty as ever"

"Huh? Shifty, me shifty?" the ginger growled, really regretting showing himself now but damn if you didn't have the ears of an elephant. Why didn't he just pretend to be a cat and be done with it?

"Yeees Ichigo, you. Shifty" you pointed at the male as you both made your way through the sliding doors. A cheery welcome served your return to the workplace as the customer snarkily mentioned how long he'd been standing in front of the till and so the dance continued.

Ichigo had passed off a half-hearted goodbye before leaving to go back from wence he came, one hand held up as a weak attempt of a wave "I'll see ya later" he sighed as you focused on the customer, only able to slip out your own quick "Byyye Ichi"

It's safe to say the ginger left with flush cheeks, good thing he was faced the other way and you were dealing with current complaints.

[guesswhojusttt]

when I’ve learned how to love

Covey!Reader x Sejanus Plinth

Summary:

Lucy Gray is Reaped. The Covey each handle it in different ways.

When she comes back, you're all not sure how much of her she's left behind.

-

You are nothing but hatred and anger and desperation- a tall boy with soulful brown eyes somehow carries the same anger, but kindness, too.

AO3

Chapter 1: one foot in the door

Word count: 6891

Summary: When the first punch flies, it’s you who pulls the plug and kills the lights.

“Still awake?”

“No. You?”

“No.”

“Lucy Gray-“

“Let it go, sweetheart. There’s nothing any of us can do and we all know it.” What killed you was the resignation in her voice: while you knew her voice when she wasn’t on stage, while you knew what she was like when she wasn’t flirting or charming or singing, she rarely sounded so defeated, so utterly deflated. But under the black veil of this cold night, where you both huddled under a scratchy green blanket while CC snoozed on the couch and Barb Azure curled up on a yellowing mattress, there was no need for pretense.

Still.

Still. “Still, you could just go hide out at the lake house and-”

“And what? And let someone else get reaped? Maybe- maybe someone younger? Maybe Maude Ivory? Is that what you want, for Maude Ivory to be carted away-?”

“Of course not,” you hissed, clutching your threadbare pillow like it was a stuffed animal, “I just meant, it’s stupid how it’s rigged, all because of some petty love triangle.”

She scoffed, her dark locks pooling round her head while she stared up the ceiling. “No love there. Besides, I only think Mayfair’s tried to do me in. It’s just a hunch; I don’t actually know. I could be wrong.” You weren’t sure if she was trying to convince you or herself.

“Hm. At least if you go hide away- let me finish!- then whoever’s reaped, it won’t be because of some privileged mayor’s daughter, it’ll be a random name, a slip plucked by chance, at least it’ll be fair-“ but you bite your tongue, and she didn’t say it and neither did you: the word fair was a cruel joke, now. Always was, really. “I just… I don't want you to die, or to come back traumatized for life. It’ll be bad either way, you know? Death or a life plagued with nightmares.”

A silence stretched out over you, the only sounds of sleep were Clerk Carmine’s near-inaudible snores, Tam Amber’s head shuffling on his pillow, and Barb Azure’s soft puffs of air out the nose, Maude Ivory curled next to her. You wondered if Lucy Gray had decided to sleep now, too- until she poked you just below your rib cage.

“Thank you.”

“For worrying about you? We’re all-“

“For so naturally assuming I’ve an equal chance of living as of dying. For not speaking of me as if I’m already dead. For even considering that there’s a possibility I might survive this.”

“Well, of course you do,” you said obviously, “we’ve survived District 12.”

The next day, there’s this silent, mutual agreement amongst yourself and the Covey that Maude Ivory shouldn’t watch the Reaping- she never does; you can’t let her. Once when you were 6 or 7 this woman was reaped but refused to go- the Peacebreakers (Peacebreakers, you call them) had dragged her, kicking wildly and screaming ferally, and when they’d dropped her in a heap on the stage she’d try to run off only for them to yank her back. She’d shrieked and lashed wildly, swinging her arms in haphazard attempts at self defense- and no matter how they beat her, she wouldn’t succumb- until she did. Until they had to call up another tribute, and her mangled corpse, beaten to a raw pulp like a smashed pumpkin, was dragged silently away by her husband.

So, no. You wouldn’t let Maude Ivory see the reaping.

“Hey, I’m actually feeling a little nauseous,” you said tenderly, “could you stay, please? It’s too scary for me.”

“You’re such a scaredy-cat!” Maude Ivory giggled, but stayed with you the same while Barb Azure and Tam Amber and the rest went to the Reaping. You kept her entertained by teaching her how to do a fishtail braid.

It really all was less than a theory, a paranoid guess. It was natural to assume Mayfair would use her position to harm Lucy Gray, but would she really go this far?

This was the deal: you kept her occupied during the reaping, but when they came back, when she asked where Lucy Gray was- and none of you would lie to her, you would not keep her in the dark because honesty, honesty and communication fix half the world's problems- but the deal was, since you kept her occupied, you wouldn’t have to explain what had happened to her. Instead, you went to a client’s house in the Seam, to a little 5-year old named Nathaniel, to play with him and feed him and keep him company while his father went off to work in the mines. Mother long since dead, birthing what would’ve been his little sister. Honestly, you felt guilty for charging money for spending time with children, as if you did it only for pay and saw them as a product rather than as human beings you genuinely cared for. But this line of thinking was ridiculous: you needed money like anyone, and you were able to earn it while helping parents too busy to stay home and raise their kids.

After him was a bright 10 year old, Makayla, who needed tutoring since, despite her teacher’s efforts, nothing she learned in school stuck. Truly, it wasn’t her fault: she just had a hard time paying attention or absorbing information on an empty stomach.

And everyone here lives on an empty stomach.

None of the Covey so much as suggested playing at the Hob, or anywhere else. It was sort of like you’d all lost a tooth and were constantly running your tongue over the gap, and chewing always feels strange, now. You pick up more shifts, keep yourself busy every hour of daylight, both to avoid sitting with your thoughts and to make an income to make up for the lack of any performance.

“And how’s everyone’s favorite lost soul doing today?” You plopped next to Tam Amber, who was polishing his tear-drop shaped mandolin with a threadbare rag that had been oiled and used again and again- used to be part of a loose white shirt. And here was the thing about quiet people- around the right person, they’re more talkative than anyone.

“Thinking.”

“About?”

“Wish I had some oil for the doors, and olive oil for my hair would be nice.”

“Is that really what’s put your face in a permanent frown?”

He heaves a sigh. “If I’d been reaped. What I would do, how I’d survive. And I’ve played it out in my head again and again and come to the same conclusion: I wouldn’t.”

“No? But you’re faster than any of us.”

“Sure, but I haven't got any muscle. None of us do, so the victors are probably going to be someone from districts one or two. Three or four, barely. You?”

“Me…” you reclined next to him, crossing your ankles before you, “I’d hide, if there’s a place to hide, but I’d probably get caught and killed before that. I wouldn’t kill anyone, though. Or at least I like to think I wouldn’t. Not because I’m a good person or because killing is wrong- because it’s self defense and it’s an arena and all but one will die anyway - but because I feel like if I did kill someone I'd be giving in. I’d be giving them what they want: a show, a bloodbath. I know it won’t mean a thing to anyone watching, I know being one of the many to die in the battle royale makes me insignificant at best, but I’d like to know I died without succumbing to their wishes. You can drag a horse to an arena but you can’t make it run.”

He nods silently. Pinched the rag over the mandolin’s first string, running it down its length and back again. “If Lucy Gray doesn’t live, what’ll we do? Keep doing what we’re doing now? How will we explain it to Maude Ivory?”

“Maybe she’ll live,” you shrugged, “maybe we’ll all storm the Capitol-“

“Not this again-“

“There’s more of us than there is of them-“

“But they have more weapons, more food, they’d outsurvive-“

“They’re privileged and pampered, they wouldn’t last a week-“

“The rebellion’s still fresh in their minds, there’s military men and not to mentioned trained Peacebreakers-“

“Then we’ll all go on strike-“

“Oh, yes, that worked out so well for District 8-“

“What else, Tam Amber? You know full well the only thing keeping me sane is devising increasingly elaborate strategies of overthrowing the Capitol! It’s not impossible,” you added eagerly, “you know what else seemed impossible to abolish? Divine right. Did you know, thousands of years ago, there were kings and queens that ruled over nations and credited it to divinity, so they could assert control and no one could do a thing about it.”

“Sounds like what we have now.” Tam Amber grumbled, now polishing the long, elegant neck of his mandolin. “We didn’t get rid of it, we’ve just replaced it.”

“Not quite, because now, anyone- I mean, anyone in the Capitol who gets an education and has connections and wealth- can become President. It obviously doesn’t include any of us, but at least it leaves the ground open for us to do it, unlike divine right, which keeps authority within the bloodline.”

“So what do you say? We stage a coup, guillotine the Capitol sheep?”

“At least it would be some thing,” you fumed, “every day of my life feels like a waste, you know? What’s the point in babysitting and tutoring these kids who are just going to grow up to be even more miserable and malnourished than they are now? Remember that girl I spent two years looking after, only for her to be Reaped? You know what we need.”

“No.”

“Just hear me out-“

“We do not need a rabies-“

“Outbreak! That would fix everything.”

“We’d all die out while they hoard their precious resources. They have better access to medication than we do.”

“No, because it would only happen there, not here.”

“Then District 1 would replace the Capitol.”

But you went to bed like you always did, except you shared the scratchy green blanket with Barb Azure tonight instead of Lucy Gray.

When the feed was finally rigged up with a makeshift antenna-foil contraption, and the interview flickered to life, you huddled on the couch next to Tam Amber, while CC and Maude Ivory sat criss-cross applesauce[1] before the screen and Barb Azure sat aloft on the couch arm at a careful, if awkward, angle. She could sit next to you, but chose firmly to be on the other side, and you were equal parts guilty and indignant because you knew the fight was, admittedly, mostly your fault.

“She’s alive,” said CC breathlessly.

“She looks awful,” you muttered, unsurprised by the raw heartbreak in your voice, “it- I don’t know why, but I assumed they’d give them enough food and water to make it into the tournament?”

Tam Amber heaved a sigh. “Enough for them is just barely to keep them from collapsing. Remember, we’re less than animals to them.”

“Her dress! She’s still wearing her mom’s dress!” Maude Ivory leaned closer to the screen, wide grin pinching her cheeks into dimples. Even in her cheer, what was between the lines wasn’t hard to miss: she’d thought, at least a little, that they’d take it away from her.

But her hair was matted and knotted- and that must be killing her, more than it would you, considering how she values her appearance- half-crescents stamped beneath her weary eyes. You could tell she’d cleaned up, she’d washed her face and hands and had likely smoothed out her rainbow ruffles a dozen times and a dozen more, but the sallowness of her cheeks, the peeling of her parched lips- even with all the energy she put on before the camera, you wondered privately if sleep deprivation or raw thirst and starvation would crumple her to her knees before the audience.

“What’s with that guy?” Barb Azure’s eyebrows tugged to a frown, the same tone of “what’s with that garbage?”

“The one with a funny mustache, I think he’s there to add some entertainment.” Stated CC thoughtfully.

“No, the one staring at her, right? He reminds me of someone but I can’t put my finger on it.” You mused.

“I don’t like it.” Tam Amber agreed.

“He looks like he adores her.” Said CC.

“Like he’s proud of her!”

“No, like he thinks he owns her.”

“I don’t know, those eyes seem pretty passionate either way. You don’t think they…?”

“I think he’s nervous. Like if she does poorly it’ll reflect on him.”

“Well, now I hope she does do something embarrassing just so it does bring shame on him. I mean, what are they gonna do, kill her?” When she sings, you find yourself first relieved she has her voice and second, a near-imperceptible twitch of your fingers, running to pick at the blemishes on your face, and- as soon as the broadcast cut off- stated you were going out to get some water.

Your thoughts came one after the other, like a necklace whose string was cut and now the beads all slipped away:

I don't know who I want to kill first, but I guess the order doesn’t matter if it ends with both their corpses in a ditch.

Or the lake- no, can’t subject the poor fish to such rotten meat.

Since Billy Taupe is CC’s brother, we can’t actually kill him, can we?

No, but we sure can traumatize him.

This is why, you know? Why I’m so angry at Barb Azure for- for seeing that girl. Hasn’t she seen what romantic relationships do to people? All the fighting, the arguing, the yelling- how quickly their love turns to loathing!

You trudged down the Seam, eyes ablaze. The clouds above you are dusted pink and orange- with the sunrise came a dark night, all the better for paranoia, for jumping at the slightest sounds.

All the better to avoid being caught.

I’ll get them back.

I won’t. I can never truly- even if I tear them limb from limb- it’s not enough, nothing will ever make up for losing her- she’s a piece of us and no amount of revenge-

I can take a long white string, tie it around a tooth, tie the other end to a doorknob and slam the door and rip their teeth out one by one from its roots until their gums are loose and gushing and- why bother? Nothing, neither torture nor death, undoes what they’ve done. And that’s the issue with revenge, isn’t it? It’s just not satisfying enough. Nothing is.

Except Lucy Gray coming back?

No, because there’s a chance one of us will be reaped some day. Again and again until we’re too old, but if any of us have kids we’ll live with that fear just the same. It’s a cycle and the only way out is- is- to fix it or to flee.

But you were wasting your time: you always were. While at first you were naive enough to voice your views, idealistic enough to think that it was so obvious that once you explained it, your friends… would what? Agree? Yes, you had even thought one would side with you and be angry on your behalf. Would defend you. But they didn’t, ignorant and stupid and selfish as they were, privileged as they were- no. Where were these thoughts coming from? You love them. They’re your family. Not one of them is selfish, not one of them is ignorant. What kind of thoughts are these? You don’t believe them, yet they intrude as the most unwelcome of guests: They don’t care about you unless you don the tightest mask. They’ll never understand you; how could they? You could not speak of your passions, or your beliefs, of your values or-

“Stop.” Stupidly enough, you did- and it was Barb Azure who whirled on you. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“Nothing.” You said, and before Barb Azure could roll her eyes, you added hastily. “Oh, come on, I haven’t done any harm! I just wanted to give them a good scare, not actually hurt them- just give them paranoia so they can’t sleep at night like the rest of us. It’s only fair.”

(There it was, that cruel word again, the same one when talking to Lucy Gray that night: fair.)

(What is fair, anyway?)

Barb Azure worried at her lip, and you took her in: worn sooty shoes, a dress that hung several inches over her ankle because she was taller than you but thinner so sharing dresses meant what you borrowed you was tight around the waist and what she borrowed- like this pretty chocolate-brown dress- had sleeves that hugged just below her bony elbows. Her lips, despite always being chewed up from constant worrying, were still thick and plump and, like everyone and everything, just a little dehydrated. Her eyes, big and brown and always warm, had recently taken on a pesky little shine that she refused to admit was due to a certain someone she’d started seeing.

As if she’d ever put so much effort into smoothing out her hair, before now. Even going so far as to tie Lucy Gray’s cerulean scarf like a bandanna, knotted at the base of her neck and weaving up to the top, her dreadlocks flowing to between her shoulder blades.

“I don’t care about them, I care about you. Who do you think the Peacebreakers will side with, the mayor’s daughter or some-“

“Some performers that you know they like more. You said, at the Reaping- they cared more about the mayor hitting Lucy Gray than about the snake that had bitten Mayfair.”

“Mayfair,” Barb Azure said firmly, “has too much influence. I know you’re hurting, and you want revenge, and that’s fine, that’s normal. It shows you love. But it’s not safe to do anything- not as long as, in the eyes of those who hold the guns, we’re not equals.” The underlying We never will be. didn’t need to be stated.

“Come on,” she said softly, “come now. Lucy Gray wouldn’t want you to get shot for this.”

“Don’t you? Aren’t you mad at me for- for not being supportive of whoever it is you’ve started seeing?”

“You’ve never been supportive of a couple in your life,” Barb Azure quipped, and you began to head back, arm-in-arm, “I honestly didn’t expect you to start now. You’re protective, and… and since I’m practically the mother of the group, it’s nice to have someone looking out for me. Really.”

And that was it, the last push to drag you back home, at least for now. That night- having seen her sing, alive but dehydrated and exhausted but alive, she’s alive - you curled up in your bed and smothered your face in your pillow and, for the first time since she’d been reaped, let yourself sob and shake and weep, because she was so hungry, so tired, and all the confidence you’d had that she might win had gone out like the most fickle of candles.

Clerk Carmine lays out breakfast- and a plate for Lucy Gray. Always, a plate for Lucy Gray. “It’s not like the nuts or bread will go bad,” he’d argue, when Tam Amber wanted to have a bite, “the Games should be over in what, a week? She’ll need plenty of food to recover.”

You liked babysitting Nathaniel, really. He was such a sweet boy, so excited, so full of life. Quick to burst into tears but quick to race and play, you always felt his head was a bobble head, and when he said the kids he played with made fun of him for having a big head you’d poke his cheek and tell him it’s because his brain is so big.

He says he’ll use his brain to invent a forcefield.

A forcefield for what, Nathan?

A forcefield to keep the Peacebreakers out!

You spend a good while finding long sticks, then pretend sword-fight with them, then use them to review his counting (he was capable of counting if he did it all in a row- 21, 22, 23- but had a very hard time counting from memory- what number is before 20? , for example, would take a little bit. But he was getting there, and quickly, too.)

It won’t be long before you can add, Nathaniel. I’m so proud of you.

When his father comes home, you’re extra nice, always telling him Nathan was very good and polite and smart and anything you could muster up to keep him from beating his son, which you know full well he does whenever, like today, he has a drunken little step to his feet. Maybe you’ll stay to serve him dinner, just to delay it longer.

Maybe you’ll take the long way home, just to have the time to slouch and frown before you get home and put on the mask, the same one you have to put on before Maude Ivory and CC of cheer and strength, a bright pillar, because it wasn’t fair to leave all the mothering to Barb Azure and all the responsibility on Tam Amber. The mask of semi-maturity had to be worn for Barb Azure because she got stressed if you were too serious about the things you wanted to do- the bad things. The mask of strength in front of everyone, even Tam Amber, who shared your burning loathing for the Capitol and the reaping and the Games, but before whom you couldn't be weak and pathetic- you could, technically. You know these people and they are good and kind and they’ll probably be okay with you acting like that, quite honestly they probably wouldn’t even think you pathetic and would probably appreciate your transparency. Probably.

But probably just isn’t worth the risk. You still felt guilt gnawing at you for those vile thoughts you’d had the night you’d all watched Lucy Gray’s performance. How dare you think poorly of them? Why do these thoughts, that you know full well you don’t mean or believe, intrude on you?

Nathaniel’s father shoves a meager payment into your palm, and is quick to usher you out: “You’ll be glad. Your pretty friend’s back.”

And you abandon any thought of taking the long route home and run and sprint until you’re back and there she is, there she is in the same rainbow dress, in all her songbird glory, and you’re pumping your legs and she sees you, mid-crouch to be eye-level with Maude Ivory, and a grin nearly splits her face and then she’s running too, and you’re not sure which one of you reaches the other first but you do, you finally do, and you’re flinging arms round each other and pulling each other in and she’s burying her head in your shoulder and you’re grasping fistfuls of the back of her dress, and she’s gasping sobs and you’re heaving “you’re alive you’re alive you’re alive.”

And then Barb Azure’s wrapping her long arms around her from behind and resting her head in the crook of her shoulder and Tam Amber engulfs you both, and drags Clerk Carmine in, and you grasp blindly for Maude Ivory and pull her in too.

Rather than celebrating with generous food or going to the Hob or catching up, the moment she enters the wooden home her eyes widen and she kneels and picks up a pillow- the same one you’d sobbed into a few nights ago. She kisses it all over until CC mumbled to save some kisses for the rest of us.

“A pillow,” she said breathlessly, “my head has touched nothing but metal and hay and rock since their pillow.”

“Hay?” Tam Amber said dubiously, “they treat you like barn animals?”

“At least animals are fed.” Lucy Gray mumbled, then cocooned herself in a blanket- despite the unforgiving heat, she burrowed into it. “All that rain, cold enough to kill the snakes. And nothing but this dress to warm me. Oh, I didn’t think I’d ever touch a blanket again.”

And touch it she did, running her hand over its weave and trailing her fingertips over it as tenderly, as reverently, as she did with her guitar. Finally, she lay down to sleep, and you all followed suit although it was just barley past sunset, and that morning while you all ate breakfast still she slept, and when CC and Maude Ivory went out to get water she slept and when you went to babysit and came back still she slept, catching up on the exhaustion of the past two weeks.

When she wakes up, you run a wooden comb through her hair while she talks animatedly of her time in the Capitol, cherry-picking the tiniest details to expound upon in great earnest but leaving out anything big that would normally be included. She doesn’t mention anyone she killed, the if or how, but she does describe the little girl who gave her food through the bars while a melted popsicle ran down her arm. She doesn’t tell you a thing about her time in the arena but she does tell you that she thinks Jessup and Lysistrata definitely had a little something-something going on. But then the mention of Jessup clams her up until you ask her to please teach you to pronounce Lysistrata and then she’s back, and so it goes. Any time she approaches a big or serious event, she quickly ricochets off it and clings instead to a minor, light-hearted detail.

Barb Azure comes in with a shallow well of golden, glistening olive oil.

“Oh no, I can’t-“ Lucy Gray begins.

“It’s barely enough for one slice of bread,” she says gently, placing it on the ground and sitting cross legged, “we won’t miss it, really.”

So she gives your fingers a rest from working through Lucy Gray’s knots and your wrists a break from tugging through her matted hair, dipping the wooden comb into the oil to help soothe and detangle and gently encouraging Lucy Gray to continue her story.

She tells you of the blonde you all saw on TV, that he smells like roses, that he was the only good thing in the Capitol. Barb Azure gives you a look as she massages the olive oil into Lucy Gray’s scalp, a we're not going to ruin this for her look, but you’re both thinking it: she speaks of him a little bit like she spoke of Billy Taupe. The analogy, the association, makes you dislike him all the more- just as someone who’d gotten food poisoning from a certain cheese never wants to eat it again.

Everyone goes about their day as normal: Lucy Gray, reunited with her beloved black guitar, seems to be normal too, or is trying very hard to be. When she sees the food Clerk Carmine had stored up for her, she insists you all divide it in equal portions and eat together.

She is preparing this lunch, and when you walk in to help, she swipes at you with the butter knife, which scratches your arm (but, being a butter knife,) you only utter a dull “ouch.”

“Sorry! I- I didn’t mean-“ she sets the butter knife down on the counter with a clatter, a bitter laugh, “once a killer, always a killer, I suppose. Can’t look Maude Ivory in the eye since I killed a girl scarcely older than her. Can’t look anyone in the eye, really.”

“Oh, Lucy Gray, you know full we won’t think less of you. You did what you had to do.” If the first time she’d mentioned anything she’d done in the arena took you by surprise, you didn’t let it show on your face.

“Sometimes I think, I know it’s selfish of me but I wonder, what was the point of surviving? Because Reaper, he was a better person than me. Taking the weapons out of each tribute’s hands and folding their arms and covering them with the Capitol flag to give them death with dignity, lining them up for some semblance of a funeral. He said he’d kill us but never killed anyone. I killed and he showed so much more kindness to the tributes than I did and he deserved to win- or Wovey, she was too young, she shouldn't have died! She should’ve gotten the chance to grow up and- and I stole that from her. From all of them. So sometimes I wonder why I bothered to survive.”

Tam Amber pushed the door open with Maude Ivory on his shoulders, holding two feathered hats they’d been retouching for this weekend's performance. “And then I see you all and I remember what I was fighting to come back to.”

You all mutually decide not to treat her like glass. Not to walk around eggshells, nor to pretend that nothing happened. To comfort her after nightmares and when she’s jumpy and flinched in a way she never has before or gets incredibly, inexplicably, panicked over a gnat bite on Barb Azure’s neck.

You’d almost never seen her panic before.

“Would it make you feel better if I killed two people?”

“What?”

“Just- oh, it should be three. That way mine will be worse than yours and you don’t have to feel so guilty anymore.”

“Sometimes I think I’ll understand it was for survival. Sometimes I think I’ll live with myself. Then I see Maude Ivory and she’s Wovey and I realize I’ll never, ever forgive myself for the blood on my hands. It won’t wash off. And… there’s actually a third kill I haven’t mentioned. I did it with a snake, just like I did with Mayfair.”

“Why- um- why haven’t you brought it up?”

“Well. My feelings for that one are complicated. I know I should feel burning guilt for Wovey and Reaper because they did nothing wrong, never lifted a hand against me. Though with Reaper it was a mercy kill, I still feel… and Treech… was trying to kill me, and since it was self-defense, I don’t think I know how guilty I should feel. It really was self-defense, so why do I feel…?”

You clasp your hands in both of hers: you need her to understand her hands are capable of more than killing. “You’re allowed to feel as intensely as you want, or not guilty if you prefer. Whatever you feel, every one of us loves you and missed you and will continue to love you and be so, so relieved to have you back.”

She tries for a smile, but it wobbles and breaks. Still. She’d talked about her time in the arena now more explicitly than she had since she’d gotten back, and that was a start: you can’t heal a bullet wound if you pretend it’s not there.

Outside, all grass and sunshine, Barb Azure sat Maude Ivory in her lap, braiding her hair, every girl having something to say about Lucy Gray’s mentor. “You do realize that’s what Peacebreakers do, right? They view us as primitive but exotic, that’s why you’ll hear of some Seam woman pregnant with a soldier’s child- they fetishize us, but they still don’t view as fully human-“

“I don’t think that was it,” Lucy Gray said thoughtfully, working her fingers to milk Shamus, “I think, you know, I think such a large part of it was winning the prize he gets as a mentor- meeting me on the platform just to get a leg up on his competition. That much was obvious. I can’t pinpoint when it changed, or how. Like how if you keep your eye on the sky, you can’t quite tell when it goes from late afternoon to early sunset, but it does it anyway.”

You held the dented bucket firmly below Shamus as she worked, keeping it steady.

(Once, a few months ago, it had been particularly windy and the bucket had blown over. You’d all cried over spilled milk that day.)

“It’s just all too convenient, don’t you think? That everything he did to help you just so happened to be the same things needed to get him the money? Even the fact that he stole for you or gave you that compact- is there anything he’s done purely for you? Any action, no matter how small, that he did just for your sake, no strings attached?”

“When he was hungry and he told me he once ate sticky paste-” she broke off, almost a chuckle but not quite, “I don’t think he’s like the others in the Capitol. He knows poverty, which is why he always snuck me food. He was ashamed of it, I could tell, he tried so hard to be confident and appear wealthy but he’s madly insecure. He didn’t have to tell me about his hunger, that day, but he did. He did.”

You resisted the urge to gag. The very fact that he was a mentor meant he was complicit in the Games, the very Games that kept Lucy Gray awake at night and jumpy during the day, though she tried so hard to conceal both.

“Well, he made you happy, which makes me happy!” Said Maude Ivory, admiring Barb Azure’s handiwork in the form of a newly-woven braid, sweeping it over her shoulder [2]. “You’re both making it too complicated. You were hungry and he brought you food, you were crying and he wiped away your tears. What else is there to say?”

You know she misses him, and the truth is, though you know she loves Covey, some part of you wonders if she wishes she could- could what? Have moved in with him, stayed with him? She wouldn’t do that, of courses, not even if the Capitol let her- but did she wish it?

But then again, CC misses his brother, and he’s staying here, too.

-

“People will be glad to have you back,” says Barb Azure, “our band just hadn’t been the same without you. But… are you sure you’re ready to perform?”

“Yes.” Lucy Gray says it with the most confidence she’s had since she’s come back, and rifles through the shared outfits to pick out a dress for the occasion. Clerk Carmine and Tam Amber wear their feathered hats, Maude Ivory bouncing on her heels. “In the Capitol, I sang to impress, to win people over, to convince me I was worth being alive. I want to perform for the sheer pleasure of it- and for the happiness it brings others, too. Black or green?”

“Green,” you all said in unison, and it was enough for Maude Ivory to giggle, for CC to break into peals of laughter, and the Covey house filled with enough light and laughter to make up for the absence of these two necessary things for the past month.

Barb Azure secured the drum round Maude Ivory’s neck while you sat Lucy Gray down, smearing greasy red balm on her lips and dusting rouge along her cheeks.

“You know you could be a makeup artist?”

You scoffed, smoothing her hair down and clipping a strand back. “There’s no such thing.”

“There is, in the Capitol, sweetheart. I know because the comedian who interviewed me- remember, the one who hosted me when I did that song you watched?- he had makeup and some powder in his hair. You could get paid to do this, you know.”

“Were there coal miners there?” Asked Maude Ivory, and now that she was all dressed, she sat on the dresser and swung her legs above the ground, impatiently signaling for you all to get on with the prep, too.

“No coal miners, dear, that’s what we’re here for.”

“Were there bands?” Asked Clerk Carmine, slipping on his black shoes (which were once Billy Taupe’s, when he was his age), the heels nearly peeling off.

“No bands. No music except for once, Coriolanus sang the anthem. That was it, though.”

“No music,” Barb Azure pondered, “maybe they’re the poor ones.”

Such a statement seemed to be the perfect one to tuck away between your rib cage, and you headed out to the Hob, which had already garnered quite the chattering, drunken crowd.

Backstage- if a blanket being the partition made it ‘backstage’- Maude Ivory went out to introduce the Covey as usual. Lucy Gray shut her eyes tight, the way one would before plunging into a very cold shower.

“Hear that?” You said gently, “All these people who missed you. All these people whose whole week is brightened just from hearing you.”

“But the last time I sang- snakes, there were so many snakes- I was singing but there were just so many of them, too many- hissing and slithering so fast, too fast- where could I run? How could I outrun them? They were nothing like my snakes here- I thought it would be my swan song-“

“But it wasn’t.” Tam Amber said, and it was so little that he said- but it was enough. Outside, cheers rang out, and Lucy Gray smoothed out her dress, tucked in a strand behind her hair- picked up her guitar, fire in her eyes, and stepped out onto the stage.

What you loved most about Performance is that everyone wore masks and then you didn’t have to feel guilty about your own. Lucy Gray was all sparkly, though you knew full well much of it was genuine, and Barb Azure’s shyness and Maude Ivory’s good cheer and everything else stayed just the same- but everyone was bigger, on stage, and brighter. When Lucy Gray gets a bottle and after she takes a swig of it, she passes it to you so her hands are free to play. You hold it with one hand, your colorful tambourine in the other.

(It wasn’t always colorful: Clerk Carmine had done the kindness of dying it for you.)

At some point Lucy Gray’s face shadowed with confusion then with raw elation, and you followed her gaze to a man who, quite frankly, looked as bland and simple as any other Peacebreaker around him.

But, no. As Lucy Gray declared this might be the greatest night of her life and went for another song, you watched him- yes, there was the smile, yes, for a moment he looked so besotted that you were convinced he was truly in love with her- but, what was that? You edged closer to the lip of the stage, needing so desperately to understand that look in his eyes- not quite hatred, but certainly not love. Almost like anger, but closer to desire…

Jealousy. You didn’t know what or why, but it was bare envy if you ever saw it- the disapproving curl of his lips, the stare that was no longer a yearning gaze but a glare. You’d seen it when Mayfair saw Lucy Gray and Billy Taupe together, had seen it back when your mother spoke of your neighbor’s wedding, had seen it most blatantly when Lucy Gray flirted and charmed and once even kissed the cheek of one of the audience- that flare of Billy Taupe’s nose was enough.

The same look the blonde-buzz cut man wore now.

But Lucy Gray was dazzling the crowd- of course, she was too busy to pause and study his facial expressions- so you would pull her aside during the upcoming duet of Tam Amber and Barb Azure, you’d go backstage and you’d tell her, because she was sharp and clever and she’d understand.

You are so focused on how to word it, how to describe it most accurately, that you don’t notice Billy Taupe’s entrance until he begins pleading to the Covey.

But you can’t focus on his entreaties- you keep your eyes on the blonde. Is he jealous of this, too? Or satisfied to see the rejection? Both?

Billy Taupe’s voice grates on your eyes, and you permit your eyes to wander over to Mayfair instead- ha! She wears the same face as the man, anger and jealousy which are both insecurity. Her hair is in a bun, her dress pretty and pressed and pink, and there it is, the hatred you’d been tending to well before the reaping- how you want to wring her neck, how you want to punish her and Billy Taupe for ruining Lucy Gray’s life- she may have survived, but she certainly has enough pain now, enough trauma, to last till the end of her days. And you fix your gaze on Billy Taupe and his drunken stupor and think how easy it would be, when he’s inebriated like this, to kill or at least severely injure him, too. He deserves it. She deserves it. Romance and love triangles are one thing, cheating and two-timing and sending Lucy Gray to near-certain death and sentencing her to a life of nightmares and flinching and guilt are another. It wouldn’t be fair for them to get away unscathed- it wouldn’t be just.

(Those words again? So deluded. Fairness, justice. You think you have the power to bring them forth?)

When the first punch flies, it’s you who pulls the plug and kills the lights.

—

Author notes: It wouldn't be right to write a story about oppression- the world tolerating and even encouraging the deaths of children- without acknowledging the genocide in Gaza right now. So, this is your reminder to email and/or call your representatives, sign a petition, donate, attend a protest, or reblog posts you see- to demand an end to the ethnic cleansing of Palestinians. (If you have call anxiety, don't worry- it tends to go to voicemail. And if it doesn't, there's a script you can use). Refer to my pinned post for ways to help.

[1]- 'crisscross applesauce' is a colorful expression, one I can't see the Capitol ever using- so I thought the Covey might use it in tandem with their other phrases

[2] Maude Ivory wearing a braid over her shoulder is a nod to the theory that she's Katniss's grandmother

Let me know your thoughts in a reply! The story so far, currently six chapters, below

[thatguy-thisguy-yourguy]

💞Dating Headcanons For Dante and Randal💞

Dante ~ 

I am a firm believer that he would cook for you. It relaxes him! It’s nice to do responsible things without the obligation to do it. His favorite things to cook are breakfast and homemade pasta, which can turn into a team effort. Sometimes bread..just things you need to knead?(ha)

Visits at the quickstop. If you have a break, it lightens up his day for you to stroll in and say some corny ass line “Is this for sale?” and gesture to him. Talking to you on the slower days speeds them up, however he wishes times like those could last forever.

If he is the dad of the place, you are most definitely the other parent now. Cue you both rolling your eyes at the same time. 

Selfcare together. Playing with his hair and vise versa, him painting your nails if you let him, shoulder massages, and a lot of that tracing shapes on each other’s skin

He’s jealous, and we all know this. It can be a real pain in the ass, but you gotta stick to your guns and be like “hey man, I spend like half my time hanging out with you when i’m not working! What else am I doing?” or perhaps the “no bitches” face. I don’t know what you lovebirds do out there

Nights where you guys decided to just take it easy and order takeout. You both fall asleep during the movie, so you’ve resorted to rewatching them until you see the whole thing

   Randal  ~

Flirts like you’re not dating. Not because it’s comically a lot, although his specialty is swiff one liners to fluster you. He just pulls the “hey, wanna go out sometime?” no matter how long it’s been. He’ll go to your home and ask you “Come here often?”

Expect to be info dumped on. By the time he’s done telling you about all the movies he’s seen, good, bad, and porn, you’re practically as knowledgeable on them as he is. He likes having someone listen, and you think his rants are cute. It’s a win-win

Physical affection is what he does best. Are you within arms reach? Well you’re gonna be. Always has an arm around you when you guys are hanging out, and sometimes when he’s feeling especially romantic, he’ll hold your hand. One of his favorite things to do is watch a movie with you laying on his chest. Or if it’s at the rental place you can either sit next to him with your head on his shoulder or sit on his lap if you so desire. He’s not complaining

Kind of easy to get him bashful? Trace things on his arm or hand, rub his knuckles with your thumb, lean your head on his shoulder while just chilling. He likes to feel wanted, and being treated softly rather than like an asshole is nice

Take off his hat and run your hand through his hand dude. Do it. It does not bite. Bro will melt. 

Although sometimes it seems like he doesn’t care, he’ll remember everything you tell him from the sock you lost a month ago to your favorite band. You’ll say you lost something and three weeks later he’s like “hey, you ever find that thing?”

[ktficworld]

Oh wow ! My first draft is a cluster fuck.