#Closing the Collapse Gap

[gregor-samsung]

" It’s important to understand that the Soviet Union achieved collapse-preparedness inadvertently, and not because of the success of some crash program. Economic collapse has a way of turning economic negatives into positives. The last thing we want is a perfectly functioning, growing, prosperous economy that suddenly collapses one day, and leaves everybody in the lurch. It is not necessary for us to embrace the tenets of command economy and central planning to match the Soviet lackluster performance in this area. We have our own methods, that are working almost as well. I call them “boondoggles.” They are solutions to problems that cause more problems than they solve.

Just look around you, and you will see boondoggles sprouting up everywhere, in every field of endeavor: we have military boondoggles like Iraq, financial boondoggles like the doomed retirement system, medical boondoggles like private health insurance, legal boondoggles like the intellectual property system. The combined weight of all these boondoggles is slowly but surely pushing us all down. If it pushes us down far enough, then economic collapse, when it arrives, will be like falling out of a ground floor window. We just have to help this process along, or at least not interfere with it. So if somebody comes to you and says “I want to make a boondoggle that runs on hydrogen” – by all means encourage him! It’s not as good as a boondoggle that burns money directly, but it’s a step in the right direction. "

Dmitry Orlov - Closing the Collapse Gap (2006)

[stainlesssteellocust]

US diplomat: "Okay, so you bought some of Alaska's land from Russia, okay, okay. But...your people live on the other side of the world, and, let's be real here, we're too racist to respect you as equals. Why should we honour your deal with the Russian Empire when we can just...waltz in and annex your little home away from home?"

Tsalal Alaskan colonist leader: "Good question! Do you see this missile, this one right here, bigger than a train? Its warhead is filled with several tons of fuel-air explosives. Now, I'm not saying that we have a dozen of these things stocked on ships ready to fire at any given moment and a bunch of fanatical suicide pilots ready to fly them ludicrous distances into your nearest population centers...

"But I'm not not saying that."

[ozarkthedog]

𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

summary: the world crumbled before you could experience the touch of another. Joel does his best to keep you innocent for as long as he can.

pairing: Jackson!Joel Miller x afab virgin!reader.

warnings: 18+ mdni. established, undefined relationship. PUSSY RUBBING. fluids galore. just the tip. perv!joel. unspecified age gap. fingering. dirty talk. overstimulation. male masturbation. FEELS. Joel is a conflicted old man. reader is able bodied. no Ellie. w.c. 2.9k

an: i watched a porn clip and instantly went rabid thinking about jackson!joel.

-> follow up to a glimpse of heaven but it's not necessary to read the first part.

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭 ⋅ 𝐅𝐢𝐜 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐬 ⋅ 𝐉𝐨𝐞𝐥 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐢𝐬𝐭

Like most of Jackson, the house you share with Joel is quiet and calm when night falls. Rain softly patters against the window as you lie in bed, wide awake. Another night of fruitless sleep under your belt.

You huff irritatedly, your hand collapsing against the mattress as you bitterly kick your bedspread onto the floor. Your oversized shirt clings to your body, your skin dewy from the exertion, and you're close to crying. Your limbs are wrought and overworked after hours of touching yourself with no orgasm to show for it.

Your hand won't cut it; it isn't enough. It can't reach all those sensitive spots that make you float among the stars.

Warmth pools in your abdomen as you think of one that's the perfect size.

A hazy hue of yellow light pours under your bedroom door as it spills from the room across the hall.

Joel.

It takes a long time to get to know someone, but they tend to meld with your soul once you do in one way or another.

From the start, Joel was intimidating. He was so frayed around the edges that you were afraid he'd completely unravel in the middle of your journey. He didn't seem to care for your company as the two of you traveled across the plains to Jackson, hesitation poisoning every fiber of your being, but you kept on with the strange man since no one else was willing to trek across the states. You desperately needed a new life, a fresh start away from the Boston QZ, and Jackson sounded like the perfect spot.

Over time, Joel opened up, conversing little by little as you drove for miles across the now barren US. Usually, after you had a close call with raiders or the lone gunman, he'd go silent, the weight of protecting someone other than himself sinking further into his soul, consuming that much further.

What you never expected was for him to be your first touch.

Sweltering tension slowly grew like a wildfire. Catching each other's curious stares, lingering fingers, and salacious banter until, one night, he slid a cautious hand into your panties. He claimed your untouched sex when you confessed over a roaring fire and a bottle of whiskey that you'd never been with another. His weathered hands were gentle as he sunk his fingers into your core, watching with rabid fascination as you came for the first time, gasping from his touch.

The following day, as he drove you across the interstate with the sun slowly rising, he made sure you knew that wouldn't happen again. "I'm much too old. Don't wanna waste your time with a mean ol' grump like me."

You didn't bring it up again.

One month after settling into Jackson, picking bedrooms, and deciding who would do which chores, Joel had his first taste of you.

It wasn't supposed to happen.

You chewed your dinner slowly in the modestly sized dining room across from Joel. You were so lost in thought that he was concerned enough to ask what was wrong.

"What does it mean when a man eats you out?" you naively pondered, causing him to choke on his veggies.

Joel had never looked so red before as he took a long drink of whiskey. You instantly apologized, explaining that you overheard a group of women conversing while you tended the communal garden.

He raised a hand, curbing your frantic rambles. "S'ok. Figured you'd be learnin' things. Just didn' think I'd be the one you'd ask."

"But I trust you."

His jaw twitched at your words.  

Later that night, Joel fell to his knees at the edge of your bed and tossed your legs over his broad shoulders. "Never tasted a pussy so sweet," he mumbled against your glistening folds as you ran your fingers through his graying curls. You came multiple times on his tongue, grinding his whiskered jaw while he hungrily lapped at your soaked folds like he was dying of thirst.

You didn't bring it up again.

It's warmer in Jackson now. The sun hangs longer in the sky. Snow boots and jackets are stowed away until the next freeze.

You slink from the warmth of your bed and pad sockless across the hall. Lightening flickers brightly under the starry sky. The night rain storm slowly whirls through the city, soaking everything in its path.

Joel's door is open. A soft smile tugs at your lips; it's his way of saying he's still up. He keeps it ajar while he reads before rolling onto his side and bidding goodnight to the world.

Three soft knocks alert Joel from the guitar-building manual he's currently reading. Dread clouds his mind for a moment, wondering why you'd be knocking on his door at this time of night, but he takes a deep breath and grounds himself in the softness of his bed.

"Yeah?" he calls out. His tone is rough around the edges after a long day on patrol.

You poke your head around the door with a timid smirk. He looks at you over his reading glasses before marking his spot and laying his book on the side table.

You don't say anything as you stride into his room. He notices your oversized shirt swaying at your knees before you climb into his bed and curl against his side like a cat. 

He drapes an arm around your shoulder, unconsciously pulling you closer.

"'Nother bad dream?" he questions with a low rumble.

You shake your head. "Can't sleep."

You nuzzle your face into the crook of his shoulder and feel him nod, understanding the endless struggle for a night of peaceful sleep. It's improved since moving to Jackson, but the dreams never end.

Silence fills the bedroom except for the soft pitter-patter of rain against the roof. Joel leans against the headboard, sighs through his nose, and lets his thoughts drift. He's content to sit with you in his arms for as long as possible, even if that makes him selfish.

He wonders if you hope to find someone to settle down with, someone less ridged and mentally maimed, someone less him.

The thought drives a stake through his heart.

He'd be crazy to say he didn't love being around you. Your laugh and lopsided smile took the first brick out of his impenetrable fortress when you spied a deer and her calf frolicking in an open field in Kansas. From then on, it became easier for him to let his walls down.

When you came to him with those big doe eyes and urges about wanting to know what it's like to be touched and desired, he gave in each time despite his reasoning.

He would masturbate each time after getting his hands on you, also thinking about the early days when he'd catch glimpses of you changing or the time he first saw you naked while showering at the YMCA. 

He's still trying to figure out what to make of you. Friends? Lovers? He certainly didn't mean to fall head over heels. Love had no place in his heart, but he'd be a fool to say he wasn't extremely fond of you.

"Can you make me feel good again?" your lithe voice broke the silence.

Joel stops breathing. Your question doused him like a cold bucket of water. He knew this would come back and haunt him.

His hand curls tight around your shoulder as he wrestles with the devil on his shoulder. "Told ya we shouldn't keep doin' this, Sweetheart," he reasons, trying not to break your heart.

"But I can't make myself feel as good as when you've done it. I've tried!" You whine, burying your face into his chest.

"S'not that I don't wanna," he admits, soothing your soft cries. "S'just, you're too precious to do that wit' someone like me."

You lift your head and brazenly brush your lips against the exposed skin of his collarbone, earning a low groan as he curls a large hand around the back of your neck. He tugs you away from his skin, your lips still forming a tight 'O', and pins you with a stern gaze.

"Joel, it hurts." Your watery eyes and trembling bottom lip are his downfall.

"Lay back, Sweetheart, and spread your legs," he orders with a husky tone.

You don't make a noise; too afraid he'll stop if you do. Your cunt beats against the gusset of your panties as you lay on your back, spreading and bending both legs at the knee, just like he taught you.

A warm breath fans down your face as he shifts down your body before kneeling between your legs and tracing teasing fingers over your covered mound. His nails lightly scratch along the worn cotton, making you suck in a frantic breath. He slips a practiced hand beneath the crotch of your panties and deftly explores your folds, gently rubbing small circles on your clit after wetting his fingers with the arousal that's pouring from your cunt.

"Oh, she's achin' real bad, huh?" he groans as your opening clenches beneath his wandering touch.

"Joel, please, I need-" You gasp, hips wantonly grinding against his hand, desperate for any type of friction.

The muscles in his jaw ache. It's only natural you'd be wanting more.

Before he thinks twice, Joel draws his cock out from his sweatpants. Your stomach cramps at the sight as it smacks against his belly; he's massive.

His cock hangs heavy between his thighs like a solid, dangerous threat. It weeps from the dusky tip, shiny liquid dripping from the crown as he squeezes his hand around the girthy base peppered with dark gray, wiry hair.

"Got somethin' that'll make you feel good, sweet girl." he grits, tapping his cock against the covered crux of your pussy. It thwaps devastatingly against your clit, forcing a gasp from your lips as mind-numbing pleasure races up your spine and leaves you staring dumbly up at him.

"S'that what you need? Need my cock to keep 'er from achin so bad'?" his cock is searing as it lies in wait atop your panty-clad mound. You swear you can feel his blood pumping steadily into his shaft.

He cautiously thrusts his hips, sliding his length along your cotton-covered mound. Your slick arousal seeps thru the material, wetting the thin cotton and creating a sensuous touch as he glides along your cunt.

He shoves your shirt up over your chest, exposing your breasts to his hungry gaze. He licks his lips, "Such'a beauty."

Your cheeks flame at his words. Having such a man say things about you makes you lightheaded.

Joel groans as your panties practically are now see-through from your combined fluids staining the cotton, "Oh, baby." You whine at his pet name. "I got ya. Keep those legs open, just like I taught ya. S'good girl."

He keeps a steady pace, sawing back and forth over your extremely soaked mound. Your puffy pussy lips stick to the soaked cotton, leaving nothing to Joel's imagination. He glides easily along your slit, your juices smoothing his path until your arching your back and chanting his name like a prayer.

Watching you orgasm under his touch is enough to drive him wild. He throws all sense of logic out the window. He's okay with being selfish again.

"Let's get these off, yeah." He hooks two fingers under the elastic and slides your panties off before his words register in your euphoric haze. "Feel even better without 'em."

He swallows hard at the sight laid out before him. The sheets splay and curve around your naked body, making you look like an ethereal being sent to test his limits.

"Gonna give 'er a kiss, Sweetheart," his deep timbre vibrates your body as he draws close and touches the bulbous tip of his cock to your exposed folds. Blood rushes to your cunt instantly, bordering on the edge of pain. You cry out from the intense contact, and arousal slips freely down your crack as he traces his cockhead up and down your soaked slit.

"How's she feel?" He anchors his head, looking down at you from under his lashes.

"S'nice," you half whisper, half moan. The wanton bliss slowly consumes you the more he rubs against your sticky folds, keeping a hand locked around his girthy base, his crown glistening with your combined arousal.

Your eyes tear open, back arching like a bow, when he cants his hips and taps his cock square in the center of your cunt.

"M'not gonna fuck you, sweet girl, wanna keep you whole," he declares, holding true to his word despite the overwhelming need to claim you.

He can't be the one to sully you. "Ain' much left'a this world that's as sweet n' pure as you."

Your core quivers as his dusky, throbbing crown glides along your glistening seam. He tentatively explores uncharted areas, brows furrowed with concentration, fighting with inner demons who want to claim, corrupt, and mold you for only his touch.

His name leaves your lips with a mess of desperate, frustrated moans, "Please, Joel."

He snaps out of his haze. He's done almost everything he can to keep you safe and protected in this new way of life. He'll be damned if he doesn't grant you anything you ask for.

"S'hurtin' somethin' fierce, huh?" He grunts, angling his hips until his cock lines up with your fluttering hole. "Bet she needs somethin' big'er than fingers to ease 'er throbbin'."

His cock catches on your opening, forcing a hiss through his clenched teeth. As tight as you are, he can't stop from pushing into your warmth. He blocks out any sense of reasoning that's shouting from the back of his mind as he slowly nudges his cock into your weeping, inviting hole.

Joel goes brain-dumb momentarily, watching in immoral awe as your core ever so slowly swallows his fat tip and breaches your quivering hole, forcing a raspy whine from your throat.

So warm, safe, and wet.

Joel's never felt anything like you. He wants to bury himself, slide his cock as deep as he can, claim every inch, endlessly fill you with his cum, and keep you only for him.

You frantically reach for him, hands clutching the air as he rubs a callous thumb over your clit while keeping a steady hold on the base of his cock.

"S'all she's gonna get," he states, returning to his senses and hissing when your cunt tightens. "S'just the tip."

A soft begging whine bubbles from your lips as you extend your arms, needing something solid to hold before latching onto his wrists.

Your hips move on their own, desperate to feel his length completely shunted in your velvet warmth, but brute hands envelop your hips and pin them to the bed.

He shakes his head, salt and pepper curls fraying across his forehead. "Don' be greedy now." He tuts, narrowing his gaze down at you.

A garbled mess of nonsense tumbles from your lips as your fingernails dig into his muscular, hairy forearms.

"I know. S'big, huh?" He lands a solemn thumb on your clit, rubbing tender circles around the tiny bud. "Stay wit' me, sweet girl. Wanna feel you come on my cock."

Your mind spins. It's all too much, and yet, not enough. Your head tosses from side to side, and you're frantic to survive, breathing hard and fast, waiting for the drop to come and, at the same time, never wanting it to come.

"Don't I deserve it? Keepin' you safe all this time." Joel muses, stroking his cock in time with his teasing thumb. His eyes never leave where he's splitting you open. He's barely penetrating you, but it's enough to know if he had, you'd be struggling to take him.

"Come on, Sweetheart. Let go f'me," he urges, his touch growing faster. Severe, tightly drawn circles tease you closer to the edge.

Your stomach flips. A heaviness settles in your throat, your heart lodging in the tight confines, your blood pumping faster and faster. A lithe whine slithers free, escaping into the dimly lit room and burrows into Joel's mind.

His jaw clenches, and a dark growl rumbles from his chest, "Thatta' girl. Make'a fuckin' mess'a me."

Your dripping hole quivers and throbs around his swollen tip as you come with a silent scream, body locking taut, trying its best to engulf his length entirely.

Joel curses, jerking his length with long, steady tugs and rubbing his weeping, cream-covered tip around your soaked folds before his spine goes straight, and he yanks his cock from your core, curling in on himself and spilling his seed all over your belly with a deep, gravelly moan.

You sag into his sheets, spent with a shiny thin layer of dew and white ropes of spend painted across your abdomen.

"Shit." Joel curses, breathing heavily as he holds himself by his hands, which press into the mattress by your head, keeping you locked beneath him.

You hold his studious gaze. His dark eyes ruminate, tinged with mood, as his gaze drills down into your very core, threatening to demolish your soul. You resign that this was nothing special. Just another night you won't talk about again.  

Joel eases off of you with a grunt, his bones aching from the tension despite the brief, pleasurable relief, and tucks his cock back away into his sweatpants. He shuffles to the bathroom momentarily before returning with a damp washcloth.

He wipes the cloth over your belly and between your thighs, cleaning the combined arousal from your skin before chucking the rag into the hamper with a sigh.

"I know," you mutter, grimacing as you roll onto your side and sit up, tugging your shirt down. "I won't mention it again."

A solid, warm hand on your shoulder stops your retreat. "Stay," Joel whispers with soft, yearning eyes. "I wan' you to stay, sweet girl."

feel free to scream at me -> 💌

reblogs & comments are extremely appreciated! follow @ozzieslibrary for new fic updates!

[hyper-fixates]

Time After Time

Logan Howlett/Wolverine x AFAB!reader (no pronouns/gendered language).

Explicit content (18+)

Word count: 15.2k never let me near him again

Tags/warnings: age-gap due to logan’s mutation (reader’s age not specified), mutant!reader, unprotected sex, teasing, friends to lovers, explicit language, dry humping, storm cameos, fluff, domesticity, the claws come out when he’s close (👁️👁️), detailed descriptions & scenes of nightmares/trauma/PTSD/panic attacks, one (1) ass smack, alcohol consumption, vomiting, biting/marking, angst, soft!logan, creampie, groping/touching, use of “baby” once, aftercare, yearning (kindly let me know if anything was missed!).

Summary: 4 times you end up in Logan’s bed, and the 1 time he does something about it.

Notes: this falls somewhere in between “which could mean nothing” and “we can fix each other” 🫡 (written with a mix of X1 & X2 logan!)

Your heart, despite always being alive and beating, sometimes wakes up before you.

You can feel it before your eyes even have a chance to open. It jolts your sleep-ridden body and collapses your lungs without giving your brain a chance to fight against it. Muscles and limbs feel lifeless and detached from your body, shaking from the sleep that your heart knows wasn’t completely dreamless.

You kick the blankets off of yourself and sit up in a panic, trying to regain some control of your sudden erratic breaths while bringing a lethargic hand to your heaving chest in hopes to ground yourself. It never works.

Maybe your ribs are shrinking and squeezing your lungs, making you delirious from the lack of oxygen, but you know that’s not the case. Your heart feels like it’s being squeezed and broken into a million tiny pieces.

No part of your body feels real, yet you keep your hand on your chest as firmly as you can, trying to focus on controlling the pounding of your heart that’s working so hard with each beat that it hurts. 

“Fuck. Fuck,” you choke out, feeling the tears finally breach and roll down your cheeks as your nervous system catches up to what’s happening.

 Panic. It’s all panic.

You can’t do anything but sit there and let the tears hit the freshly-washed fitted sheet on your bed. So you let it happen. Nothing can stop it.

Trauma is such a fickle thing. One moment you’re fine, and then the next, your heart is screaming at you and forcing your body to process something at 4 a.m. on a random Friday when all you wanted was some goddamn sleep.

There is no choice. Your mind doesn’t give you one.

The tremors subside slowly after a few minutes, giving you the feeling back to your arms and legs, albeit minimal.

You slide to sit at the edge of your bed, resting an elbow on your thigh and setting your chin into your palm with a defeated, yet shaky, huff. 

You look to your window and see that the sun hasn’t even started to rise yet. You’ll be up for the rest of the foreseeable morning, but there’s not much to do so early besides wander aimlessly and think…then think some more. 

You’re confident the professor isn’t even awake at this hour, which says enough about your state. You would typically go visit Storm for some comfort, but she’s been gone fuck-knows-where with Hank and Scott until Sunday at the latest. Thanks, Charles.

A questionable, and probably manic, decision comes to mind. One that’s only two doors down, one over from Storm.

Your impulsive feet make up your mind for you. The cold hardwood floor shocking you further into consciousness as if your heart didn’t do a good enough job.

You tiptoe a couple steps down the hall, forcing yourself to turn and face the large wooden door when you reach it. You just stand there staring at it, unknocking, analyzing the wood grains, suddenly very interested in what type of wood it is and what stain was used to—

“Uh. Are you okay?”

You refocus your eyes onto the man now standing in front of you in the doorway, adorning a barely-zipped school hoodie and black sweats.

“Huh?” You blink a few times, disoriented.

Logan quirks a brow, looking you up and down cautiously. “Are you okay?” He asks again, offering a look of concern—or maybe confusion—that you haven’t seen often. A look that’s never needed to be directed towards you.

You come back to yourself. “But—I…didn’t knock,” you respond, looking equally as confused as him as you point to the door. 

He leans against the edge of the door, face softening. “I could smell you before you passed Storm’s room,” he clarifies, a hint of reluctance in his tone. Oh. 

You feel like a child who has just gained awareness, all too conscious of your situation.

“You’re…awake?” Is all you manage despite probably needing to say much more than that to explain just why exactly you’re standing outside Logan’s room at 4 a.m.

“So are you,” he counters with a curious look. “So let me ask again. Are you okay?” He locks his eyes on yours, probably in hopes to understand why the fuck you’re outside his room at 4 a.m.

“I’m not sure how to answer that,” you say, and it’s the truth. 

You should probably be embarrassed. You show up at Logan’s door unannounced, dressed in a flimsy shirt and matching sweats—thanks, Charles—that can’t fully hide the remaining quivers throughout your body.

Logan pulls his lips together at your admission. You can almost see the wheels turning in his head trying to figure you out.

“Can’t sleep?” He questions, but he knows he’s right.

“Yeah.” You don’t know why you’re making it Logan’s problem, though. Sure, he happens to be awake, but maybe this is all too personal to push on the guy who’s seemingly all pride and no solicitude most of the time.

It’s not that he’s not a good, nice guy, but you don’t know how you would define your relationship, or lack of.

You know each other well enough from existing in the same space over the past couple months, being part of the same “team”, but it’s nothing to call a close friendship like you and Storm. He’s a bit of a rare species in the mansion, not really lingering around.

He cocks his head in a half shrug, the soft points in his hair broken by sleep shake gently with the movement.

“I don’t think I can help you,” he says wearily. “I’m no better. Clearly.” He gestures between you, drawing attention to the fact that you’re both awake. The helpless cannot help the helpless.

“Oh—no, I’m not looking for help. I think I’m beyond that at this point,” you laugh but stop yourself short when Logan doesn’t follow. Tough crowd.

“I, uh, don’t actually know what I’m looking for,” you offer.

You knit your brows together in thought, still wondering why the fuck you’re here. Comfort? Entertainment? Some other unknown third thing?

“I’m not really used to Storm being gone for so long,” you admit. “I just feel…all over the place, I guess.”

Logan considers your vulnerability for a beat, eyes flicking to yours. “I can hear you sometimes,” he says, a knowing—almost sympathetic—look on his face. “We have the same problem.”

You go cold, any expression you had on your face sliding away. You wish the floor could swallow you right now. You know things have been getting worse recently, but you didn’t think anyone could hear that fact. Maybe it shouldn’t come as a surprise from someone who could smell you from down the hallway.

He steps back, pulling his door open further. An invitation.

You don’t move right away. Could this be a false awakening? You’re not sure what you expected when you came to his door, but you also didn’t expect him to open it without you knocking, so you have to suspend disbelief for now. You figured he’d offer a few words of advice and dismiss you, or maybe even tell you to fuck off, but he opened his door wider for you. But you didn’t exactly think any of it through in the first place anyway.

You force your feet to carry you into Logan’s room. It’s not much different from yours; scarce belongings, minimal decor, a small work desk, brown curtains that are drawn back, and a bed. 

“Were you, uh…sleeping before I came?” You sit on the unmade bed, nothing noticeably different from it compared to yours.

He shuts the door quietly, moving to the small desk across the room and filing some scattered papers together neatly.

“Trying to,” he says, keeping his gaze on the desk.

Fucking duh. “Sorry if I disturbed you,” you wince to yourself. 

You see him briefly shake his head at your unnecessary apology. “I had to get up anyway.” His voice is still gravelly from sleep.

It feels like you’re invading his space. But he invited you in. How many others have had the opportunity to be in here? Probably too many. There’s nothing to make this special.

“I’m fucking exhausted,” you sigh, flopping back on his bed defeated. Simply overwhelmed with the uncontrollable repercussions of your mutation.

“Try to sleep. If you want,” he offers, moving to the edge of the bed. “It’s easier said than done, but I have to meet with Charles in an hour.” It’s gruff, but he’s sincere.  

Maybe the professor is awake after all.

You roll your head to the side to look at him. Was he really offering for you to stay in his bed?

“Oh, wow…uh, sure.” It comes off as more of a question, but he quirks his brows in acknowledgment, turning back to the desk and collecting a handful of other miscellaneous papers.

“I have to head downstairs and take care of some things. Stay as long as you need,” he says, zipping his sweater the rest of the way up. Thank God in heaven.

A shy “thanks” is all you manage as you situate yourself on the bed.

Is this fucking weird? You could name a handful of others in the mansion right this second that would kill without hesitation to be where you are. They’d probably kill you specifically to get it. It’s not much of a secret that Logan is the subject of almost all students’ desires. He knows it, too. 

“See you later,” he adds, his lips forming the slightest hint of a caring smile as he sees himself out. You throw one back before the door clicks shut.

Should you be offended that he didn’t stay? That he left so quickly? No, no, he can’t. He couldn’t. Charles is expecting him. The timing is just horrid. But now you’re just…alone…in Logan’s room, expected to sleep because of a random act of kindness in his heart.

Lying in his bed instead of yours is an odd sensation. The sheets and mattress are exactly the same, the pillows are just as fluffy, yet it feels unalike. 

You flop your head on his pillow, tugging the blankets up to your chin. Your fingers graze something by your hip as you settle in, making you push the blanket back down. Leaning over, you see three puncture marks in the mattress, fraying the bedsheet material into feather-soft strands around the deep holes.

Your eyes widen, remembering his words before he invited you in: “We have the same problem.”

Part of your heart fractures for the second time today. Your eyes cross over to the other side of you, seeing a matching set of holes just below the pillow. It’s suddenly easy to understand why no one besides him has been seen coming and going from this room in a while. One day, things just seemed to change. 

Maybe his act of kindness was an act of mercy. Trauma will always find you, and it will make sure you feel it until you either destroy it or it destroys you.

Even the Wolverine isn’t an exception. 

━━━━ ● ━━━━

The gold liquid is gone from the glass as quickly as it was poured.

Your throat clenches and protests the swallow as you try to suppress the urge to gag. You gently set the shot glass back on the counter, watching Storm chase with a piece of lime that does nothing to help the puckered face she makes from the tequila. 

“No more, no more. I can’t.” Your arms anchor you to the counter to stop yourself from swaying too much.

Storm nods, still fighting off the sourness with furrowed brows and a scrunched nose. You giggle at her when she quickly screws the cap back on the bottle, sliding it out of reach.

“You’re a bad influence,” she scolds as she wipes her mouth with the back of her hand.

“No—I’m under the influence,” you counter, a playful smile on your lips. “There’s a difference. You still have your own free will.”

Storm rolls her eyes so hard you only see the whites of them. “We have training tomorrow,” she slurs. “Charles will not be happy if we show up half-conscious.” She rounds the counter to you, grabbing your shoulders for stability, and you do the same.

“He’ll be lucky if we show up at all,” you mumble. 

The dim kitchen lighting embraces the two of you, the rest of the mansion blanketed in darkness with everyone fast asleep—like you both should be.

You close your eyes with a roll of your neck, more giggles falling through your lips as you clumsily grab onto Storm and rock and sway together for a moment, the alcohol quickly catching up to your motor skills. It feels like you’re spinning through time and space, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t feel fucking euphoric. At this rate, neither of you will be able to make it back to your rooms.

“Am I interrupting something?”

You lose a bit of your balance as you try to find the resonant voice, eyes shooting open. Storm unintentionally startles and stumbles away from you, white hair also jumping from the excitement.

You grab onto the counter again, sucking in a deep breath. “Fuck, don’t do that,” you growl through your teeth, a hand on your chest as you try to calm yourself.

“Don’t do what? Come to the shared kitchen to grab a drink?” Logan huffs a laugh, an amused smile creeps to his lips as he takes in your drunk and shaken state from the entryway.

“Doesn’t anyone sleep in this place?” He mumbles to himself.

“And with that, I’m done for the night,” Storm chuckles, fixing her hair. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” Her eyes lock intensely on yours, index finger firmly poking the middle of your chest to make her point for you to show up to training very clear.

“See you, Logan,” she dismisses, stumbling as she passes him.

Logan shakes his head, still smiling. He steps to the fridge, opening the double doors and plucking a bottle of soda from the bottom shelf. No alcohol is readily available in the communal fridge because, after all, you’re all in a school full of kids, so Storm had to get creative; Scott will be missing a rather large bottle from the now not-so-secret stash in his room.

As the alcohol continues to settle in you, you feel more and more lightheaded as it brings you to a new level of euphoria again. You only know this because watching Logan pop the cap of his drink with mindless ease feels a little more exciting than it would be if you were sober. But you’re not sober, and that’s the problem.

“Not gonna follow Storm?” He asks, taking a generous sip from the bottle as he casually places his free hand on the counter to lean on across from you.

A tight smile forms, mostly to yourself. “I don’t think I can make it down the hall,” you laugh in embarrassment. Maybe that last shot was one too many, and it’s not even fully done working its magic yet.

Logan raises a brow. “Want some help?” There’s no judgement in his tone like you expect. Then again, you don’t know what the fuck to expect from him.

Your already half-closed eyes, blurry and unfocused, meet his hazel ones in interest. Another favour?

It’s been two weeks since he let you sleep off the nightmares in his bed. Two weeks since you learned he’s burdened with them, too. You traced the holes in the mattress over and over before you eventually fell asleep, wondering what—or who—could have hurt him so badly. He plays it off cool; you wouldn’t suspect anything from talking to him. The same could probably be said about you.

“I didn’t know wolverine’s were chivalrous,” you tease.

The yellow hue of the lights dance over the quaffed points in his hair, making them appear sharper than usual. You would never admit it, especially to him, but you adore them. They give him an absurd amount of character that you’d expect a guy like him to not care about. 

You’re not exactly complaining about the fitting grey tank-top he has on either.

“Not overly,” he plays along, taking another mouthful of the fizzy drink. “I like to think I’m special,” he says quieter.

“Maybe you are,” you say as you try and straighten yourself to see if you can stand unassisted.

The world tilts as you stand to your full height, eyes rolling into your head from the wave of dizziness. “Wow, okay,” you say to yourself, squeezing your eyes shut to stop the spinning. How many shots did you have again?

A warm hand presses between your shoulders. “Woah, nice and easy. Nice and easy.” Logan appears by your side to steady you, other hand grabbing your elbow to pull you straight. You wobble in his grip, letting him guide your useless, alcohol-ridden body.

His hand on your back rubs a few small, comforting circles as you work to regain your bearings. He watches your expressions intently, looking for the right moment to get you moving back to your room safe and sound.

Your arm crosses over your body out of instinct to grab the hand he has on your elbow for extra support.

“Are you okay?” He asks. He seems to ask you that a lot.

You lean into him, your shoulder to his chest, and you can feel the blackout creeping up on you like humidity from a thunderstorm—it’s usually too late to do anything once you notice it. 

“I drank a lot,” you laugh deeply, rolling your head onto his shoulder to look up at him.

He looks so much more delicate under the ambient lights—his usual defined features have shifted and melted him into someone that doesn’t look like they should be a feared animal out in the world.

Logan all but cradles you, that same look of concern crossing his features from the night you went to his door. The only difference is that you’ve had a generous amount of tequila—and are currently being kept alert by the hot touch of his hands. That’s new.

“Can you walk?” He holds your squinty eye contact, probably searching for any signs of a coherent thought behind the blissful expression on your face. “Or will I have to carry you?” He muses, a hint of a smile crosses his lips as his hand moves up to gently rub over your shoulders. 

Drunk you likes the sound of anything relating to Logan keeping his hands on you right now. You wonder what sober you would think.

“I’m not gonna tell you no, but it feels like I’m floating in a bubble that won’t stop spinning,” you hum as you let the sensation consume your senses. “I might fly away.” You dip your head back off of his shoulder in amusement as you laugh again. 

“Yeah, you’re fucked up,” he mumbles lovingly. Just like anyone else who’s concerned for your well-being would. 

“Hey, kitty cat—I’m perfectly buzzed,” you emphasize the teasing nickname, narrowing your eyes at him sternly as you bring your gaze back to his in defence.

“‘Kitty cat’? Really?” He snorts. “I think you’re past your bedtime by three drinks,” he remarks back with equal levity.

“Then take me to bed if you’re so concerned,” you sigh dramatically, going limp in his arms to make your point. 

Truthfully, you’re probably past your bedtime by five shots. But he doesn’t need to know that. You just know that you can’t control your limbs like you were able to ten minutes ago.

“Maybe I will.” You don’t see it, but he does his quick little eye roll that you’ve seen pointed towards Scott too many times. 

He slides the hand on your elbow down to the backs of your knees, pulling you up off the floor and into his chest as you fall into the arm that was rubbing your back. 

Oh, so it’s gonna be like that. 

An excited—or maybe shocked—noise escapes your mouth as he adjusts you in his arms. You extend your right arm up and over his shoulder to hug his neck and keep yourself stable.

The trip to your room isn’t one that should take long, but each sway from Logan’s steps goes straight to your stomach in waves of queasiness. It feels like forever before you feel him bend awkwardly to turn your doorknob.

You’re fighting to keep yourself conscious the entire time, not wanting to regret missing the feeling of being in his arms.

The room is only lit by the silver moonlight creeping through the window. It’s hard to distinguish anything through your bleary eyes besides Logan’s look of determination to get you in your bed.

He leans down, shuffling you out of his arms and onto the mattress as swiftly as possible. The care of it all pokes at your heart. 

He silently goes around each corner of the bed adjusting the blankets. It may be dark, but the moonlight highlights the peaks of his shoulders as he moves. Your eyes might be involuntarily half-shut, but that doesn’t stop you from staring.

You’re now probably no better than every other mutant in this school.

“Logan,” you start before you can fully process the foolish thing you’re about to say next.

He rounds the bed back to the side you’re huddled on, looking down on you. “Yeah?” The subtle jingle of his dog tag pierces the quiet that’s lingering in the room.

You part your lips to speak but the words die in your throat. They’re replaced by a flood of saliva that has you sitting up at a speed that shouldn’t be possible for someone as intoxicated as you. You cover your mouth with your hand, feeling your stomach churning and finally rejecting the tequila. 

You suddenly feel very awake.

“Hey, hey.” Logan squats down in front of you with his already permanently-furrowed brows pinched closer together than you’ve ever seen before, a hand coming to your shoulder in concern. “What—”

“Bathroom,” you mumble through your palm, eyes rolling shut at the nausea. 

He doesn’t say another word. He pulls you to your feet by your arms, walking behind you fiercely with his hands gripping your shoulders to guide you to the small bathroom across the room.  

You push the door open, falling to your knees in the darkness over the toilet as the mistakes from the night expel themselves from your body through rounds of coughing and gagging. He lingers in the doorway, keeping an eye on you but still giving you privacy.

“Fuck,” you cough, resting your warm forehead on your hand as you slump against the toilet. That definitely sobered you up fast.

Exhaustion hits you like a truck. “Logan…” you croak from your crumpled position on the tile floor. 

He steps in, bending down again to reach your height. You can barely make out the shadow of him in the fading moonlight.

“Just…help me back to bed,” you groan, reaching for his arm as you use the toilet seat to push yourself the rest of the way up. You stumble against him as you try to make it back through the doorway.

He guides you to the bed the same way he did to the bathroom—steering you from behind.

“I’m gonna get you some water,” he says as you settle back into bed, head hitting the pillow with a quiet thud. “Even though you did this to yourself.”

“Fuck off,” you groan.

You close your eyes, hearing his footsteps fade back toward the bathroom. You hear the tap run for a couple seconds before he’s next to you again, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Drink. All of it,” he says firmly, holding the cup out to you.

You sit back up slowly, no doubt lethargic, an unimpressed look on your face that earns you a raised brow that tells you there’s no room to object.

You finish the cup in four mouthfuls, handing it back to him. “Thanks.”

You fall back onto the pillow, no longer feeling like you’re travelling through space and time.

The clothes you’re in are close enough to pyjamas. There’s no sense in undressing in front of Logan, especially with what you were about to say to him before you were rudely interrupted by the consequences of your own actions.

He returns the cup to the bathroom and you pull the blanket over your waist as you hopefully settle in for the rest of the night. You owe him big time for this. The thought of just how exactly you’ll manage that fills you with anxiety.

You turn on your side, fingers sliding over the mattress with the movement. They graze familiar strands of feather-soft fabric by the pillow.

This is Logan’s room. Are you just that drunk that you couldn’t tell the difference when he brought you in? Or are your rooms just that similar to each other?

You dip a finger in one of the three holes, hearing the bathroom door click shut as Logan makes his way back. 

“Why am I in your bed?” You see him rustling through some drawers of clothing by the small desk, but he stops when you finish your question.

“You can’t take care of yourself tonight,” he says. “You’re too drunk.” He pulls the grey tank-top off, stuffing it in one of the drawers and shutting it.

You sit up at that, head still foggy and tipsy, watching him move to the foot of the bed across from you. You try to focus your eyes on anything but his bare chest and the dark hair that adorns it and trails down past the waistband of his sweats. His hair is somehow even more wild from mindlessly pulling the tank-top over his head.

“Ah. I was gonna ask you to stay anyway,” you reveal, almost whispering the bold confession.

You were planning to ask before the tequila decided to make another appearance, but maybe doing it this way isn’t so bad either. He did all the heavy-lifting.

A modest, tight-lipped smile graces his lips. “I think you still have some tequila to sleep off.”

Whether or not you still have some shots in your system, what you feel and want right now is real. It’s not influenced by anything besides some mild andronitis created by the fact that you share a common struggle.

“Is it…safe? To share a bed?” The most coherent thought you’ve had all night makes him stiffen from your sudden nervous tone. Your body could easily replace the mattress and become a new home for the deep punctures. 

Your eyelids have been fighting against being pulled shut by alcohol-induced drowsiness, yet your eyes are wider than they’ve been all night in this moment.

You’re sat right in the middle of the bed and Logan comes around to the right, sitting on the edge of the mattress to come down to your level.

“You’re just gonna have to trust me.” His eyes are imploring and apologetic all at once. He understands the prospect of even having you here in the first place.

You nod, sliding over to the left to give him more room. 

Logan wouldn’t put you in harms way, you reason with yourself. He wouldn’t risk potentially killing someone, especially a fellow mutant, if he wasn’t absolutely sure of his mental state. But you also don’t really know his demons.

You roll onto your right side, tugging the blanket up to your chin in comfort. “Why haven’t you been given a new mattress?” You ask as he turns to face you in the same position, his half of the blanket resting at his hip.

The bed dips significantly on his side, almost encouraging you to roll over against him.

“Forgot to ask,” he says quietly, running his right hand through his hair to push the shorter strands off his forehead.

From his tone you can decipher that he actually means “can’t be bothered.” It’s a devastating thing to imagine just how many he goes through, anyway. He probably doesn’t see the point in replacing something that will inevitably have the same fate as the others.

There has to be less than an arms length between you two. It’s a surreal situation to be in considering what you thought you knew about him. A recluse. Standoffish. Maybe it’s all a fluke and the alcohol is severely fucking with your perception of what’s actually happening.

“Thanks for everything,” you whisper as if someone else will overhear.

“Get some sleep,” he insists, rolling onto his back. You do the same.

You stare at the blank ceiling for a while, noticing the exact moment Logan falls asleep; his breathing grows slow and his body runs even hotter than before. 

You think about how he could wake at any moment, claws accidentally sliding right through your stomach from a nightmare or two. You imagine all the others that have been in your position—if they felt scared, if they even knew. 

He asked you to trust him, and that should be enough. 

There is a body full of secrets and hurt sleeping undisturbed next to you with the ability to withstand and regenerate from any physical injury, yet there’s something that hasn’t allowed the same to be done for his mind. 

━━━━

The bright amber sun hits your closed eyes through the window, making you roll your head away onto the other side of the cool pillow.

You want more sleep. Your head feels like a bag of bricks and your body feels like it got beat with them.

You stretch a leg out, gently grazing something solid with your foot. Your eyes shoot open, the night coming back to you as you drift into consciousness. Logan. 

You shoot up, bouncing a little from the momentum.

Logan startles next to you, clearly interrupted from a deep sleep. “What the fuck…” he groans, rubbing a hand over his face, not seeming interested in making a move to sit up with you.

“What time is it?” Your eyes bounce around the room looking for a clock.

He grunts, reaching for a watch on the nightstand. “Seven-forty.”

You needed to be in the Danger Room for 7 o’clock.

“Fuck!” You rip the blanket off, almost tripping as you run to the bathroom.

Logan also wants to roll back over and go back to sleep, but he knows he won’t be able to. He doesn’t work like that. So he just lays there, listening to you swear and make a mess of his bathroom as the clattering of fuck-knows-what fills the room. 

The surprise of how well he slept makes him feel uneasy. Although it definitely wasn’t eight hours, it was uninterrupted. He doesn’t want to credit that to you, though. He wants to believe that he’s getting better overall, and maybe he is, so he can’t offer you any flattery in his mind.

Another distant “fuck” escapes the bathroom, pulling him out of his thoughts. You exit a few minutes later, as refreshed and presentable as you could get yourself, and the sight of Logan still in bed makes something in you ache for another moment of feeling him care and tend to you. Maybe that’s your hangover talking.

“Thanks again. I’ll see you around,” you say hurriedly, offering an apologetic smile as you turn the doorknob to leave.

“Good luck with Charles.” It’s a genuine advisory. Fuck. You’ll be so incredibly lucky if he doesn’t give you more than a stern lecture in front of everyone.

You take a deep breath in and slip out of Logan’s room. There’s not a single cut, mark, or scratch on you, just like he promised.

━━━━ ● ━━━━

“I was told it’ll take a day to fix,” Storm explains with a shrug. “You’ll have to find somewhere or someone to room with until tomorrow. Jean already offered to have me stay with her.” A contrite look passes over her face.

You stand outside your rooms, staring in at the remnants of the mess caused by two terrakinetic kids fucking around in the courtyard when they weren’t supposed to be. They somehow managed to throw, or launch, sizeable tree branches right through each of your windows. Of course it wasn’t on purpose, but the Danger Room exists for a reason—to avoid mishaps like this. 

Shards of glass and fragments of wood splatter your floors. The branches are hanging half-way out both of your windows, caught on the window sills and bobbing in the evening summer wind. The kids are extremely fortunate that neither of you were in your rooms when it happened.

“It’s fine. It’s just one night,” you sigh, rubbing your eyes in frustration. You don’t love how quickly your mind picks out who to go to. It’s already nearing 11 p.m., so you have to work fast. 

Storm squeezes your shoulder in comfort. “The living room is always free,” she suggests with a remorseful smile.

But you don’t want the living room. Stiff couches mixed with students clamouring and passing by at the crack of dawn isn’t exactly a recipe for a good nights rest. As if you usually get one, anyway.

“Not a fucking chance,” you laugh. “I’ll be fine,” you say again, dismissing her worries. You wish her goodnight when she steps by you to head towards Jean’s room at the very end of the hall.

You glare at the mess in your room, not daring to step in. The amount of shattered glass everywhere makes the floor look like a body of water from the reflections of the pale moonlight bouncing and refracting off of the jagged shards.

“Fuck,” you spit through your teeth, solely to yourself.

Not even a full week after Logan saw you at your worst, you’re going to go back and ask for the left side of his bed. Shameless.

You don’t have much of a choice; you’re not comfortable having it be anyone else. It’s only because Logan saw you at your worst that you feel he’s the most logical choice. Already having shared a bed with him this week may also have some weight in your decision.  

You take the few self-assured steps to his room, once again standing in front of his door. This time you feel more confident in approaching the Wolverine in his den.

You knock three times, the piercing sound echoing through the hall.

“You start to miss me or what?” A bare chest enters your view. You note the dog tag hanging from his neck again before you find his unyielding gaze full of ambiguity, wondering why you’re here. Again.

You blink at him slowly in hilarity. “Ha, funny. Can I stay with you tonight?” You ask flatly, not thrilled with the situation, but not completely displeased with being here now. “My window—”

“I know what happened,” he interrupts. “Figured you’d go for the couch in the living room.” He looks at you more pointedly with teasing suspicion. 

“I think you know no one would ever willingly choose to sleep out there,” you reason, running a hand over your face in both shame and defeat.

He makes a face that tells you “touché” and you smirk in satisfaction. “If you don’t mind giving up half of your bed again, I would really appreciate it. I promise I’m not trying to make this a habit,” you sigh. Spending the night in Logan’s bed three times in the past month has to be a record for anyone recently. 

“I don’t think it would be a bad habit,” he argues. Oh. “C’mon.” He gives a jerk of his head to allow you in, his tufts of his hair bristling with the quick movement.

“Thanks,” you squeak. He wants you here? 

He shuts the door behind you, following you to the bed that’s clearly already had him in it. The blanket rests in waves on the mattress that remind you of just how human Logan is despite his reputation and image.

“Do you have an early morning?” You ask, slipping under the blanket.

“No. Charles was feeling nice for once,” he raises his tone sarcastically to rag on Charles’ judgement, which has clearly been a much needed one before now.

“Not an early bird?” You roll onto your right side like last time, facing him as he settles on his back with a deep breath. The bed sinks in again where he lays, your body wanting to give in to the laws of gravity and fall into him.

“Fuck no,” he laughs lightly, eyes crinkling around the corners. It’s self-deprecating, but it’s still a genuine laugh. The condescension from it lingers in the air, all directed at himself in a way that tells you he’s thinking about how inconceivably fucked up he is.

The last time he had a decent sleep was when you were drunk in his bed a few days ago.

“People like us don’t usually get the pleasure of a full eight hours,” he notes, sliding his gaze to yours for a fraction of a second.

He props an arm behind his head, the other resting on his chest and idly twisting the dog tag between his fingers. You watch the thin piece of steel slide and flip easily, the chain tinkling with every movement.

People like us.

“You mean mutants,” you state. You see his jaw tense in what little light there is from the half-moon tonight.

You see his brows pull together. “Yeah.” He has a point.

You think about the mutants you know, how they all have some horrific story about their gifts or family, or both. How they either were shamed by society or experimented on like rats. 

The scenarios are endless. If you can think of it, some mutant has probably lived it.

Your heart sinks to the bottom of your stomach. You and Logan are not isolated or special cases, but you’ve already shared a moment of vulnerability with him when you came to his door all those weeks ago seeking solace for the same thing he fights with: the inescapable ability of remembering.

You pull the blanket tighter against you. “I don’t think you’ll hurt me.” 

He turns his head to you, confusion written on his face. “What?” He stops toying with the dog tag.

“Your claws. I trust you.” You didn’t feel like you were in immediate danger that first night, but you want to reassure him anyway. Or maybe you’re reassuring yourself. 

He hasn’t had to say a single word for you to know his nightmares trigger something instinctive and combative that’s been hardwired into his DNA. In this case, it’s his claws needing to find a home in his mattresses, where another body could potentially lay one night. Like yours is right now.

You noticed the lack of holes in this mattress when you first got to the bed. Maybe you mentioning them last time was enough for him to finally request a new one.

Logan knows he shouldn’t make promises he doesn’t know he’ll be able to keep, but he wants to keep you here tonight, so he improvises. He abandons the dog tag between his fingers completely, turning onto his side and reaching to find your hand under the blanket. You meet him halfway, sliding your fingers between his as your palms lay flat on the bed.

A smile tugs at your lips for a moment. He watches your interlinked fingers, observing the size difference, wondering if he really just did that—and why. 

You assume it’s his way of saying “thank you” for your trust when you probably shouldn’t be putting that much into him.

“Does it hurt?” You whisper, pulling your fingers out from his just enough to caress the divets between his knuckles that conceal the claws.

He knows what you’re asking. “Every time.” He softly pushes his fingers back into yours, squeezing a little. 

There’s a deadly stillness in the room despite his window being cracked. You both know you’re one in the same in a way, and that’s a connection that Logan hasn’t let himself experience. Not everyone likes looking in a mirror.

To be truly seen by someone, wholly, without judgement or fear, is what he deserves. 

“What are you?” He asks, rubbing his index finger back and forth along the top of your hand. “Telekinetic? Psychic?” His curious voice grows quiet, hazel eyes fascinated with you and your lack of a physical mutation, at least nothing that he can see.

It never occurred to you that he didn’t know your mutation, or that you’ve never told him. It was never needed, but it seems unfair that you know about his when he wasn’t the one who told you.

“Ha, close.” Your eyes twinkle as you notice how intently he’s listening. “Psychometric,” you correct, watching his forehead crease.

“Sounds like math,” he quips, readjusting his head on the pillow. He’s close enough that you can feel the heat he’s putting off.

You laugh quietly. “No, it’s extrasensory perception. It lets me see the history of any object or person I touch, but only if I accept the energy,” you explain.

You watch his eyes narrow and you know what he’s thinking, so you quickly interject as he begins to pull his hand out from yours. “I need to touch a pulse point to be able to see anything,” you reassure, feeling his fingers slide back against yours. “The heart remembers everything,” you clarify.

The catch? The person’s memories and past stay with you after you see them. It’s become hard to distinguish what memories are yours or someone else’s. They all become intertwined. Good or bad, violent or gentle. You see it all, and then it’s part of you. Forever.

“I haven’t looked. I promise.” 

“Good. You don’t need to see that shit,” he huffs, eyes wandering over your face. He isn’t sure what he’s looking for, but he’s a little startled for the first time in a while.

“I’m sure I’ve seen it all,” you state. It’s probably not far off from the truth. Your gift came when you were all too young, and plenty of time has passed since then for you to rack up this amount of damage from near-strangers and their lives.

“No, you haven’t.” A sure expression passes over him, shaking his head as best as he can against the pillow. 

“Then I’ll count myself lucky,” you say softly. You have no idea what Logan has experienced, but his demeanor makes you want to stay curious. Not everything needs to be known, and you’re definitely not entitled to it.

A faint smile appears on his lips, then it’s gone just as quick. “Get some sleep,” he rasps. He turns onto his back and his hand abandons yours. 

It’s a complete repeat of last time.

Something twinges in your heart, and you don’t like it. What exactly had you expected from Logan? He’s just doing you a courtesy by letting you stay here for the night. Nothing more. And that’s what you should expect: nothing.

The hum of crickets outside eventually lulls you into a dead sleep. It’s heavy and deep, not a single muscle twitching in your body. Logan breathes steadily next to you, a hand on his chest as the occasional snore fills the air.

From above you two might look like you’re transient, only here in this moment for a short time. And, realistically, you are. 

━━━━

Logan was no where to be seen by the time you woke up, and you made quick work to get out of his room. It always feel wrong to be in someone’s space when they aren’t there.

Just like Storm said, the windows in your rooms were fixed the next day. It looks as though nothing even happened.

“Thank fuck,” you mumble to yourself as you step back into your room.

If you ever have to spend another night in Logan’s bed, you might as well wear a shirt that says “yes, we’re fucking!”, even if it isn’t true. You could deny it all you want, but it won’t stop what students would say. Nothing gets past them, even if it’s behind a closed door.

━━━━ ● ━━━━

“Are you fucking Logan?”

You almost swallow your tongue. “Sorry?” Your brows shoot up in surprise, eyes round in disbelief.

“Are you guys sleeping together?” Storm casually asks as she flicks through the T.V. channels, glancing over to you from her spot on the couch.

You’re sat comfortably in an arm chair, suddenly no longer caring what channel she decides on. “Why would you think that?” Technically you were sleeping together, but not like that. It may never happen again, no matter how badly you want it to.

“Things travel fast around here,” she deflects with a cheeky smile. “And, you know, Logan is…Logan.” She shrugs.

You don’t even know what to say to that. Is there a right or wrong answer?

“It wasn’t like that,” you grumble. “He was doing me a favour. As a friend.” It hasn’t even been a full day since he let you stay with him while pieces of your window laid on your floor, and people are already convinced you’re fucking. 

You haven’t even managed a chaste kiss, despite how much as you want to, never mind his dick being balls deep in you.

“Right.” She emphasizes the word, not convinced. Or just pushing your buttons because she can. 

You roll your eyes. “If anything was happening, you’d be the first to know,” you point out. 

She looks back over to you. “I know,” she says with another, more sincere, smile. “You two would be cute, though.” 

You give her some side-eye, not quite sure if you disagree entirely with that statement. Whatever happens, happens. Logan is not something you can control or influence. He does what—and who—he wants, when he wants. 

━━━━

A bolt of lightening strikes you. You gasp, then release a choked cry, eyes flying open as you claw at your chest in terror.

Your throat tightens and you break out in a cold sweat as you sit up. The soft blanket around you feels constricting. Sporadic and short breaths make you heave as your body registers the horrors in your subconscious. 

There was never any lighting. That’s just what the pain feels like.

The muscles in your shoulders and neck tense from your panicked state as your heart struggles to keep a normal rhythm. You yank the blanket off, feeling weak from fear and the onset of tremors. Your whole body gives up on itself as you sob through broken exhales. Your legs have gone cold, lungs shrinking inch by inch with every passing minute. 

You crawl to the edge of your bed, wanting to just get out and leave—the blanket. The bed. The room. Most of all, you want to escape your own mind.

You sink onto the floor when a foot touches the ground, and you realize walking isn’t in the cards right now. You’re shaking too badly to be able to physically move. All your strength is gone, robbed by your memories.

Balmy tears paint your face in determination, making sure no part of you is left untouched by this spell.

You screw your eyes shut, tears still slipping out with ease anyway. Leaning your back against the bed-frame, you curl into yourself and wrap your arms around your knees on the chilled hardwood.

You try to focus on your breathing to at least slow your heart down to a pace that doesn’t hurt.

Wounded cries rip their way out of you, interrupting the breaths you try to steady. A hand touches your arm and you yelp like an injured dog, flailing at the contact as your arms swing out from around your knees in shock.

“Hey, hey, it’s me. It’s me.” Strong hands quickly wrap around each of your wrists to stop your arms from thrashing.

You try to focus your eyes, blurred and stinging from tears, on the person kneeling closely in front of you.

“L-Logan…” you whisper, balling your fists to try and expel the shakes.

He looks like someone who shouldn’t be able to be concerned about another person, yet the look on his face scares you. Brows pinched together in worry, eyes frantic, lips parted from heavy breaths. All because of you.

“It’s just me,” he hushes your cries. His thumbs stroke the undersides of your wrists tenderly, no doubt feeling your racing pulse. 

You feel disoriented. “Wh…how…” 

“I heard you,” he explains, watching you process everything. He drops your wrists when some recognition passes over your face.

“What do you need?” He follows your gaze as it wanders around the room, trying to keep you from spiralling further.

You look at him for a moment. He’s got his white tank-top on, the black sweats, and an intense need to help you written all over him. Fresh tears burn your cheeks as you come back into reality.

“I want it to fucking stop,” you weep, head falling into your hands in shame.

You don’t want him to see you like this, even though it’s a commonality between you two. It’s too intimate. You’d take him seeing you blackout drunk everyday of the year over this.

Then you do remember that it has stopped. Each time in Logan’s bed. There was silence. Peace. For the whole night. For both of you.

“Tell me what you need,” he says firmly, angling his head down to keep your eyes on him, desperately wanting an answer.

“You.” You suck in an agonizing breath to try and collect yourself.

He doesn’t flinch like you expect him to. If anything, his eyes become more pensive, clearly considering something. Then he shakes his head in wariness.

“C’mon. Let’s get you out of here,” he breathes, voice barely above a whisper. The only sound echoing in the room is your wobbly breathes, your body jerking with each one as you enter the aftermath and begin to go slack.

An arm slides behind your back, his hand grabbing ahold of your side while he pulls your legs over his other arm, picking you up off the floor.

He cradles you against him just like he did when you were drunk, carrying you out of your room.

He left your door open when he came in, and you hope no students heard or saw anything. He tilts to grab the doorknob, shutting it without a sound.

You wipe and rub at your eyes as Logan takes a few steps down the hall, quickly getting to where he needs to go when you feel him lean for his doorknob.

You’re sure a few rogue, leftover tears fall onto his shirt before he manages to sit on his bed lightly, you still curled tightly in his arms. 

His hand pushes on your back for you to sit upright on his lap. “Face me,” he encourages, holding onto your sides as you twist around, bending your legs to slide over his thighs and straddle him loosely. 

You look down at him, he looks up at you, feeling the quivers in your body dissipate as you melt further into his lap. A fondness crosses over both of your tired faces. He rests his arms over your thighs, warm hands linking behind your back as you do the same around his neck. 

It’s nothing provocative or seductive. All you can feel is the care and concern rolling off of him in suffocating waves. He wants you to feel safe, and if that means overrunning your senses with his presence, then that’s what he’ll do.

“Got anything to say?” He murmurs, the fallen strands of hair around the edges of his forehead bristle with each move of his head. The rest of his hair fails to fully resemble the cat-like ears he had earlier in the day. 

What does he want to hear? 

You let your head hang a little, your nose almost brushing his. “I have nothing to say,” you assert, fidgeting with the chain of his dog tag at the nape of his neck. 

You don’t necessarily feel embarrassed about him seeing you in such a helpless state, but you don’t want to simply unload your shit on him. So, in turn, you have nothing to say.

“Bullshit.” He almost rolls his eyes. There’s no real threat of him forcing you to say anything behind it. He won’t pry, but he doesn’t believe you.

An offended look overcomes your face, and you almost pull away. You don’t want to feel the humiliation of elaborating on just why exactly you said you needed him in this moment out of everything else. 

“I just…” You roll your lips together in thought, measuring the words you could say but won’t. “Want to sleep. Here,” you sigh. “I don’t wanna go back.” You deflate in his arms, voice wobbly. 

It’s already who-knows what time, and you need to pacify your wired nervous system; Logan simply holding you has already helped with that more than you want to admit.

His mouth quirks up briefly at that. “What happened to not wanting to make that a habit?” His eyes soften as his arms retract from around your sides, letting you slip easily onto his bed from his lap in a moment of calm, or relief.

Habit, if not resisted, soon becomes necessity.

“Special circumstances,” you reason, already pulling the blanket over you while he keeps his place at the edge of the bed, observing you with amusement.

“Seems like you get into those a lot,” he notes, pushing himself off the mattress.

He steps around to the other side—his designated spot—and slips the tank-top off, letting it drop to the floor. You’re not trying to be a freak, but you watch the whole thing.

The flex of his arms and shoulders are out of your mind as fast as they entered as you watch him hook his thumbs in the waistband of his sweats and pull them downright in front of you, not even turning around or to the side to try and conceal himself.

Your eyes widen, then you reel in your thoughts before they get lost at sea. No one who is sane fucking sleeps in sweatpants. Duh.

But didn’t he the last two times? It’s hard for you to remember, but you’d certainly recall if you were face-to-face with the outline of his di—

“It’s rude to stare, y’know.” Logan pulls his lips together, interrupting your thoughts. You try to not eyeball the bulge too hard, but it basically looked at you first. 

The snug briefs do little to hide anything. They hide nothing, actually.

You almost scoff, but the playfulness in his tone tells you he couldn’t give a shit. He probably likes it anyway. From what you know, he definitely does.

“Oh, yeah, like you’ve ever cared about modesty,” you throw back, averting your gaze to the ceiling anyway.

It’s not that he runs around the mansion naked, but he definitely isn’t shy about what he looks like or against showing some skin. You’ve seen and heard enough over the past few months.

You hear a stifled chuckle as he joins you under the blanket without a retort. He knows you’re right. He’s just glad you’re a little lively and alert.

“Will you be okay for the rest of the night?” He brings both hands behind his head on the pillow, propping himself up a little.

“I should be fine,” you say confidently. “The challenge will be getting back to sleep.” You laugh in exasperation. 

It’s always hard to calm down and get back to a place of tranquility after everything has settled with your mind. You’re pumped full of adrenaline and there’s not much that can curb something that persistent flowing through your body.

You haven’t found anything to help with it. Yet. 

“There’s not many people that’ll understand what you go through,” he starts, voice rough with fatigue. “But I do.”

You look to him, sliding an arm under your pillow as you turn on your side. “How do you…help it.” You’re not sure if you phrased that right. It feels crude to reduce something so complex to the likes of a common cold that has an array of over-the-counter solutions. 

“You don’t. It just has to run its course.” He looks to you, wanting to see your reaction. 

It wasn’t meant to be hurtful or insensitive, but he’s not going to lie to you and say that things can only get better and that the worst is over. Especially for mutants, that’s not always true.

Although you don’t know what Logan lives with every day and sleeps with every night, you do know that his capacity for empathy is still intact. Here you are in his bed after all, seeing and indulging in a side of him that many never will. 

You sigh lightly. “We’re quite the pair.” 

A comfortable half-smirk slips over his lips. “I think we’re just fucked up insomniacs,” he suggests with a breathy exhale that’s close enough to a laugh.

You wish you could slide a thumb over the pulse in his wrist and see what’s haunting him, just to understand what happened to the Wolverine, but you’ve learned that doing so usually isn’t worth the price you’ll pay after. If what’s in his head is horrific enough to cause him to go through a couple mattresses a month, then it won’t do you any good either.

“I sleep pretty good with you,” you offer, seeing how he raises a brow in doubt almost instantly.

He sleeps well with you, too. It kind of rattled him when he noticed a pattern of uninterrupted nights and you being by his side. Not a single mattress ruined on those nights.

“Try not to knee me in the stomach tonight,” he deflects with ease. He takes his hands out from behind his head, sliding his left arm under the pillow as he turns over onto his side and closes his eyes. Facing you.

You mentally smack yourself. Multiple times. You didn’t think you drifted that much when you slept. 

“No promises,” you mutter. You catch a small shake of his head before you let yourself join him in unconsciousness as you mirror each others lonely bodies.

━━━━

Your eyes ache—to open, to move, to touch. Enough crying will do that to you.Your eyelids are heavy, but there’s something else weighing down on you. 

A tired groan crawls from your throat as you try to place yourself for a moment. The morning sun is just beginning to shine too brightly for your liking, and you squish your face deeper into the pillow.

You’re still tipsy with sleep, lying flat on your stomach, but there’s something dense and hot resting over your back. 

You prop yourself up on your forearms, giving yourself a minute to wake up. You twist your hips around to sit yourself up, feeling the thing on your back slide down to your waist. 

The blanket pools around your hips, and you feel a hand reflexively squeeze over the meat of your hip in disapproval of your moving. Something in you clenches at the sensation of something invading the area with ease. A spot reserved for intimacy.

Your head quirks to your right, seeing Logan on his stomach with his right arm thrown over your midsection. 

You blink in surprise, staring at his sleeping body. His hair is sticking up every which way, his head half-off the pillow, his side of the blanket not even covering the curve of his ass anymore. It’s endearing to see the Wolverine in such a normal, human state.

But if someone were to walk in, it would look like you two spent the whole night fucking. A lot. That wakes you up a little more.

You peek over at the nightstand behind him and see the time blinking on his watch. It’s already 8 a.m. 

You rest a hand over his shoulder to gently guide his arm off of you, but you stop yourself. Instead, you lightly trace your fingers down his shoulders and upper back a couple times, occasionally scratching softly over the ridges of muscle.

A shiver quickly rolls through his upper body, but your touch doesn’t fully wake him. He knows it’s just you.

It’s the least you can do for him as a thanks for recovering your broken body from the floor of your room and bringing you here when he didn’t necessarily have to.

It almost feels like instinct to offer comforting gestures to him. There’s something inside you that just pulls to him. You want to be the one that can give him comfort and help him put himself back together. 

You want to be the only one.

━━━━ ● ━━━━

There’s a shadow that’s been following you around the mansion. 

As soon as you stepped out of Logan’s room that morning a few days ago, it started. 

This shadow likes to be nosy about what you’re doing. This shadow likes to be in your space. This shadow wants to be in your space. And he is.

No one has seen Logan out around the mansion this much, including you, and that’s how you noticed he’s basically been attached to your hip ever since he decided your back was a comfortable armrest. 

He’s always just there, like a stray cat begging for food or affection. There to entertain you, banter with you, indulge you, in any way he can, including now as you trail back inside the mansion well behind Storm from an evening walkabout in the garden.

“No smoking in the courtyard,” you sing as you pass him carelessly, not even offering a glance to him in interest. 

You like playing this game. Whatever it is. Constantly poking and prodding at each other to see what you can do to get the other to break in some way, no matter how slight. 

Your heart flutters and flips every time; maybe from the thrill of it all, maybe from the arousal you get from the tension. You hope he feels everything, too.

He turns his head to watch you cross into the entryway. “Blow me,” he throws back playfully through a thick puff of smoke, leaning against the brick wall with a cigar pinched between two fingers.

You suppress a chuckle, keeping your unwavering pace. “Yeah, you wish!” You yell over your shoulder. You know he hears you. He wouldn’t let himself miss it.

Logan smirks and shakes his head in amusement, always impressed with your quick rebuttals that occasionally tent his jeans. He takes one last drag out of spite before following your footsteps inside. 

You have become, by definition, friends…in a way. Even if you sorely cross the line into other territory more often than not. Sexual innuendos and friendly flirting can only go on for so long before the underlying intentions and meaning reflects real desires. 

It’s evolved into more than just borrowing his bed a couple times or helping each other out. It’s surpassed the fear of whatever habit you were afraid of forming from doing so. It’s become a dependency to get that adrenaline high from simply riling each other up.

You have an assumption that if you were to end up in Logan’s bed again, somehow, there will be a point of no return that you’ll be faced with. There aren’t many more excuses that can be used for explaining to yourselves why you’re together in bed before you have to recognize the truth.

That platonic line is being stretched too thin, and you’re not sure how much farther it can go.

━━━━ ● ━━━━

“How’ve you been sleeping?”

“Fine. You?”

“Could be better.” Logan hides his smirk, but you can hear it in his voice.

You narrow your eyes skeptically as he fishes around in the fruit bowl sitting in the middle of the kitchen island.

“How so?” You ask. Your legs swing leisurely as you sit upon the chilled countertop on his left, idly waiting for Storm to show up and go with you to training.

A smug, tight-lipped grin flashes across his face, a green apple rolling around in his palms before he puts it back. “You could be there,” he provokes, his eyes bright.

It’s your turn to raise a brow at him, but you can’t stop your smile. “Oh?”

He turns to you, tenderly grabbing the tops of your thighs and parting them slightly to stand between your legs.

This isn’t the first time he’s done this, and he knows it rouses you in all the right ways. But, neither of you will do anything about it. Not even a brief kiss.

“Come on,” he goads, planting his hands down next to your hips, bringing himself in closer as he bears his weight on his arms. “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours.” He sways his head side to side to emphasize his point.

Fuck. That’s good. 

That may be exactly what you did for him, but it’s now a figure of speech for something else entirely. It’s almost impossible to argue against either way, as if you want to. This is what you’ve been patiently waiting for. 

You put your hands over his as you lean back a little to put some distance between you. “How sweet,” you hum.

His eyes flick from yours to your lips one too many times before you continue. “You start to miss me?” You tease as you lean forward again, echoing what he said to you the night your window got smashed in.

“Smart-ass,” he mutters as you laugh quietly. The tips of your noses barely graze each other as he steps in closer again. You’re almost at the same height like this. 

“Save me the left side,” you advise, bringing your hands to his shoulders as you fondle his white t-shirt between your fingers. You’re so close, and he’s already so warm against you just like this.

“Always do.”

━━━━

You want to rip your heart out of your chest from how hard it’s pounding against your ribs. It’s almost throwing you forward with each heavy beat.

Three resounding knocks fill the hallway as you shuffle on your feet, waiting for Logan to open the door.

It feels like you’re doing something bad. Something parents would warn their kids against. Something greatly envied.

Everything inside you feels on fire. Your thoughts, desires, anxiety, all jumbling together into one distorted state of mind and body.

“Ah, welcome back.” His sarcastic tone makes your face go hot. A satisfied smirk crosses his lips as he runs a hand through his shaggy, unstyled hair. 

You shake your head, pursing your lips. “Knock it off.” You gently shove at his bare chest. Misbehaviour already. But are you really surprised?

Logan grabs your wrist, delicately guiding you into his room. “You enjoy it,” he says lowly, quickly shutting the door as soon as you’re in. 

“Maybe,” you hum in response, pulling away from his grasp and seeking out your side of the bed. Logan follows closely behind, giving your ass a light smack in encouragement before he cuts away to his side while you jolt in shock, a stunned look on your face as you whip your head around to him across the bed.

“Oh, really?” You scoff. He’s biting back a smile, not moving until he knows what you’ll do next. He’s never gone that far before.

“I’m sorry, that was rude—how can I make it up to you?” He almost chokes on a laugh, pulling his dog tag back and forth along the chain while he considers you.

This Logan is very different from the one you were met with the first night he let you in his space. This one is attentive and exuberant, yet he hasn’t given you much up until this point right now. You’ve gotten way too comfortable with him without even doing anything to you. 

In this moment, he isn’t the brooding, animalistic Wolverine many see him as. He’s just Logan—for you. 

You watch him carefully, easing yourself onto the bed. “Get in the fucking bed,” you slap his side of the mattress with a thump of your palm. “And do what you promised earlier,” you stare pointedly at him.

He owes you that “you scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours” favour he decided to pull out to get you here. 

“Mm, alright, alright,” he surrenders, a look of amusement still on his face as he kneels onto the bed. “I thought of a pretty good idea for it,” he says softly, crawling to sit next to you on top of the blanket as the bed-frame creaks with the added weight.

Your shoulders almost brush against each other. You shift, turning your body fully toward him. “Oh? Wh—woah!”

You squeal when his strong hands latch onto your sides, lifting you just enough to pull you over his legs to plant you on his lap. He leans back against the headboard, pulling on your thighs so you straddle him tightly. 

He looks devilish when you catch his gaze again, and you know what’s coming. What’s been coming. Your hands find their places on his shoulders, warm and taut, as his hands hold your hips. 

The bond between you will culminate tonight. It will be wrapped in a blanket and trapped between two alike souls that lie heart-to-heart in the dead of night. It will be perpetual.

The heat of him between your legs makes you restless. It’s just you, him, and the darkness in the quiet room you’ve become too familiar with.

“Logan…” you trail off bashfully when you feel something firm through his sweats poke against your cunt. It clearly doesn’t take much to excite him.

“Hm?” He takes you in for a split second, hands running from your hips up to your chest leisurely with a sharp inhale, not yet completely bothered by the fact that you have a shirt on. 

You suck in a shaky breath when your hips accidentally shift over his bulge from his hands pushing and pulling over you.

“What’s the idea?” Your voice wavers.

You know what it is. He knows that. You just want to hear him say it and fill the silence.

“Something I’ve wanted for a while,” he murmurs, eyes hyper-focused on you. 

Your fingers dance their way to the sides of his neck, brushing along the supple skin while you feel muscles and tendons flex with every slight movement. You subtly press the pad of your index finger against the pulse point right under his jaw, just to ground yourself and truly feel that Logan is there in front of you. 

His pulse is steady but hard, much like yours, and the prickle of energy festering against the finger almost makes it go numb from not accepting it into your body. 

“Show me, then.” You smile sweetly, leaning in closer while you tilt his head up with the hand under his jaw, your finger slipping from his pulse and caressing over the dense, coarse hair along his cheek.

Your noses bump while your lips part in anticipation. His eyes flutter as he falls into you and frantically claims your mouth in an unbreakable kiss.

The first kiss. Nothing could tear him from you in this moment.

Your hands cradle his cheeks, keeping him from pulling off too far. His hands scratch and paw at your back, trying to find a way to somehow get you closer against him.

It’s all a little messy, your lips mostly just mashing together without any rhyme or reason, but neither of you care. You only care about how electrifying it feels to finally have Logan and feel how perfectly connected you are together after all these nights. You go together like a key and its lock.

“Logan,” you pant when his mouth releases yours for a fraction of a breath. The seconds between kisses dwindle the more you take from each other.

Your thighs tense as he pulls half an inch away just to reconnect more crazed as his lips lock over your bottom one aimlessly. Something deep inside you trembles and aches.

He grunts, accidentally sucking the tip of your tongue briefly before slotting his lips back over yours in an apology. “Hold on,” he mumbles in a rush against your parted lips. He knows what you’re asking—or trying to ask. He snakes an arm up along your spine and wraps the other around your waist.

Then the world is tilting.

He drops you on your back on the bed from his lap, hovering over you as he distracts you with harsh but pleasing kisses and wet bites along your neck, settling his hips heavily between your thighs. You squirm and feel how bolts of arousal are making your cunt pulse involuntarily. 

Logan groans. “Fuck—I can smell it. I smell you.” He slowly grinds his hips into yours almost reflexively. He squeezes his eyes shut, and you tip your chin up to press a chaste kiss to his slick lips. 

“Taste…if you want to,” you propose, lightly scratching up and down his shoulders and arms, only enough to leave faint red lines for a couple seconds.

Logan’s eyes almost roll into the back of his head before he gives it a small shake, a conflicted look overtaking his face. “Of course I fucking want to, but—fuck—next time. I promise.” He swallows whatever you were going to say with a deep kiss that has you nearly shaking when he sucks on your bottom lip. 

“Let’s just take things easy,” he says roughly, bearing his weight on his left arm while he tries to get your sleep shorts and underwear off.

A promise of a next time makes your brain go fuzzy like static.

“I’ll hold you to it, then,” you resolve, lifting your hips as much as you can for him to lean back and pull away to wrestle your clothes the rest of the way down your legs, discarding them just as quickly.

“I hope you will,” he breathes through a small laugh as he shuffles on his knees. He doesn’t want to completely overwhelm you and scare you off, he just wants to enjoy you in a simple way that won’t entirely ruin you for tomorrow.

He doesn’t know what you can or cannot handle, but he’s going to find out.

The fresh air in the room brushes cooly against your wet cunt. It’s a nice contrast to how fiery your whole body feels, but Logan feels even warmer than you somehow. Maybe wolverine’s just run hot.

His sweats have ridden down his hips from his desperate grinding against you, and the dangerous cut of his v-line grows more and more narrow as the waistband teases the reveal of what’s underneath.

You watch him—palming his dick once as your knees sway side-to-side in waiting. His thumbs hook under the stretchy fabric, working what remains of his clothes down his sturdy thighs.

“It’s rude to stare.” He pops a brow, a smug, arrogant grin quirking his lips.

You push yourself to sit up, considerably shorter than him in this position as he stands on his knees, and walk two fingers up his toned stomach to his chest, avoiding the hard cock between you. 

He looks at you with curiosity until your hand grabs his dog tag in a fist, pulling it towards you. “Then stop showing me your dick,” you say as he leans in to your pulling a little to not have the chain break away.

You knew the night Logan dropped his pants in front of you and let you eye-up his bulge would come back to haunt you. But it’s alluring. Big. Curves a little to the left, barely noticeable. A respectable amount of hair decorates the space between his bellybutton and the base of his cock.

He gives in to the tension on the chain, falling back to the mattress with you and trapping you between his arms as his cock rests heavy on your clit.

“How about I find somewhere to put it?” His smile pushes a whole new wave of arousal from you.

“It would be a damn shame if you didn’t,” you say against his mouth, giving your hips a roll just to tease him before hugging his waist tightly with your knees.

“Good.” He gives you a strong kiss with a small grunt, running his hands over your sides under your shirt. The movement pushes it up, up, up, until you have no choice but to stretch your arms out above you and let him slide it off between more thoughtless kisses, leaving you entirely bare.

He lets you breathe for a moment, dipping his head to bite and suck marks along your collarbones messily. You squeeze around his hips harder, trying to get him to give you something other than his scratchy cheeks rubbing against your skin and the chilled steel of the dog tag dragging over your chest.

The tip of his cock falls and catches over your clit when he moves lower, licking and sucking over your chest like a starved animal finding food for the first time in a week. You gasp from the mixed sensations.

“C’mon, kitty cat, you can do all this while inside m-me,” you say breathily, fingers digging into his shoulders to stop yourself from trembling too much. 

Logan bites over a nipple before pulling himself back up to look at you. “Is that a promise?” He says lowly, that stupid smirk gracing his face again.

“Try it and find out,” you demand, enjoying the sting of the deeper bites blooming on your torso.

He purses his lips, shifting his weight back onto his knees to grab ahold of his cock to angle and guide it in.

“Hm, guess no lube is needed,” he muses when he gets a look at your cunt, sparing you a glance through his lashes.

You roll your eyes shut when your whole body lights up red-hot. “Jesus fucking Christ, Logan,” you slap a hand over your eyes as you grimace. You don’t want to be that aware of your naked self right now.

He suppresses whatever expression was about to cross his face when his cock notches itself between your soaked folds, teasing your hole with the blunt tip. His brows pinch together and you forget the embarrassment from his crude remark.

But he leaves his cock like that, on the precipice of sliding the rest of the way in with a snap of his hips. Instead, he carefully uncurls his upper body to crawl his way back up to you while holding his hips deathly still.

“Alright, stay with me,” he whispers against your neck when you moan, pressing a tender kiss to your rabid pulse in reassurance. 

“O-okay,” you sigh, running a hand through his hair and tugging at the roots while the other squeezes around his arm as best as it can. You’re not even really sure what he’s saying.  

He kisses up your cheek and over to your lips again. You try to keep up with his quick mouth, licking and sucking whatever part you can get ahold of, but you’ve become lost in the feeling of him all over you. 

He’s in your mouth, on your chest, against your stomach, nudging your cunt. Everywhere.

He slips his tongue over yours, securing your lips together at the same time he pushes his cock in halfway. Now you understand what he was saying. 

The lightheadedness from being filled, even just a bit, almost makes you lose yourself. The stretch makes your stomach drop, your legs shake, and your mouth fall open with a whine. 

“A-ah—fuck. Fuck, Logan,” you whimper, fisting his hair with both hands to stop yourself from falling apart.

He groans, either at the grip you have on his hair or how good your cunt feels already, and runs a hand up your left thigh in comfort as you squeeze around his hips tighter to draw him in. 

“Just a bit more,” he soothes, trying to resist the urge to slide into you in one fell swoop. It would be so easy to just let his hips fall into yours and fill your cunt.

Another heated kiss, another few inches. He works his cock into you the rest of the way with ease. You guess the lube thing wasn’t really a joke. His hungry, needy kisses may have also helped with that.

You choke on your gasps, not wanting to get too loud, and Logan does the same. He tries to muffle both of your moans with his mouth, attempting to form complete kisses, but it just turns into you panting against each other as he finally bottoms out, hitting his end. 

Your legs relax around his waist as he deftly rocks his hips in small thrusts to get you familiar with his size, his small grunts filling the air each time you swallow him whole.

You let out a deep breath, dropping your hands back to his tense shoulders. He lines your jaw with soft kisses, fisting the blanket in his hands beside your head.

“Fuck. Already feels too good,” he moans, pressing into you harder and unintentionally rubbing himself over your tender clit.

You smile, squirming while he works down your neck again. “Best of luck,” you huff, amused at the fact that he might not last as long as he wants to.

He brings his face back to yours, a completely blissful expression controlling his features, but there’s still some mischief in his hazel eyes. “Oh? Yeah?”

You hold each other’s gaze, both equally dazed and overwhelmed, and he draws his hips back and pushes into your wet cunt with a complete, strong thrust. The sound of his pelvis hitting against the backs of your thighs makes him laugh in pleasure and satisfaction when you instantly roll your eyes and head back.

Your cunt quivers, gripping him tight, and then it’s Logan’s turn to lose composure. He drops his head to your chest, managing a few deep breaths as he slowly pulls out halfway just to push right back into you, over and over. 

It’s a pace that isn’t quite pure, mindless fucking, but it’s also not somewhere near earnest love-making. It’s something that feels specifically curated for you. Something that feels measured and sincere. 

The strength of his thighs hitting against yours pushes you up the mattress a few inches, and you don’t know whether to gasp or moan. He reaches somewhere deep inside you, and you know he can feel that, too.

A helpless groan slips through Logan’s lips. “Where have you fucking been, huh?” He muses through shaky breaths, the determined plunge of his cock hitting something that makes your muscles tense throughout your body. 

Your fingers tangle in the hair at the base of his neck, keeping him close. “Two doors down,” you giggle, understanding that’s not quite what he was asking.

“Fucking smart-ass,” he grumbles, silencing any further rebuttals with a wet kiss. You don’t think you could manage much more of a conversation even if you wanted to.

The silence is quickly filled with obscene sounds that only seem to leave you wetter and Logan throbbing. You can hear your bodies connecting through your gasping for air and his choked moans, and you can feel the mess you’re making all over him. It’s smeared along the inside of your thighs from how deep he’s been hitting. The squelching only seems to make him fuck into you harder.

Something inside you starts to grow tight and wind up in your core, making you repeatedly clench around him while his cock strokes all the right spots inside you as he makes sure he’s fucking himself in to the base. He doesn’t deprive you of anything. 

He drops his head to your neck, wedging his face in to latch onto the spot right where your neck starts to slope into your shoulder. The dense muscle there gives him something to basically chew on, sinking his teeth in as deep as he can without drawing blood.

“H-hah, Logan,” you whine, tilting your head into the side of his and squirming from the pleasant sting.

You feel his arm move beside you, then you hear the sound of tearing fabric as he gives a particularly brutal snap of his hips, followed by a deep groan against your skin.

You can barely form any thoughts, but you can guess what just happened. If he pulled his hand back, three long, slim holes would probably be where his knuckles are right now.

“Fu-uck, Logan, you just got t-this mattress,” you laugh a little, your words choppy from how hard he’s driving into you now.

He draws back from your neck, seeing your half-lidded eyes trying to focus on him. “Can’t always control it,” he reasons, giving you two short, fleeting kisses as you hear his claws retract from the innocent mattress. 

You see the double-edged sword. You can guess that that’s the same explanation he would probably use for the nightmares. It can go either way, and now you’ve seen both sides.

“It’s okay,” you say in a hushed tone. You cradle his face, and he rests his forehead against yours. “Keep going…keep going,” you coax, face scrunching from your nearing orgasm.

You can feel it in your toes, your stomach, your shoulders—you’re tightening up everywhere, and he can undoubtedly feel it in your cunt as you pulse around him. It grips him just right for a couple seconds before relaxing completely and leaving him to chase for more.

“Keep squeezing me like that and you’ll get whatever you want,” he offers, fighting to maintain his steady pace for both your sakes.

You almost whine, knowing whatever your body does is beyond your control at this point.

“Just—inside.” You can’t even string together a full sentence anymore, but the urgency and stress on the last word makes Logan’s ears perk up.

He presses a soft kiss to your clammy forehead in acknowledgment, the muscles in his arms straining and flexing as he grabs ahold of his own orgasm after a particularly inviting flutter of your walls.

You’re both walking the line, teetering on the edge of utter euphoria, and you know nothing will be the same after. You don’t want it to be. You hope it isn’t.

He reaches an arm back, sliding his hand up your thigh again and slotting it behind the bend in your knee. He pushes forward—only slightly—bringing your leg closer to your stomach to stretch you open for him.

His cock brushes over something new. Something that makes you bite your tongue. The angle lets him fit perfectly against you, not hindered by the flesh of your thigh stopping his hips.

You want to cry from how good it all feels. You want to be suspended in this feeling forever. You want Logan to—

“Focus, baby. Focus on me,” he coos, bringing you back to reality. He holds the side of your head with his other hand affectionately. “Come on…come on, I know you’re almost there,” he encourages with a quick kiss that goes straight to your stomach.

The burn in your thigh from the stretch can’t overpower the sparks of your orgasm, and Logan just fanned the flames with a few little words.

You come with a broken sob, convulsing around his cock while he fucks you through it, submitting to his own orgasm only seconds after with deep, shaky breaths as he empties himself inside your cunt.

He doesn’t pull out or pull away. He relaxes on top of you, sweaty and sticky with cum, and he places the barest whisper of a kiss on your chin, your parted lips, your nose, and then your forehead. 

Your ears ring from your orgasm, eyes still slightly out of focus. Your body trembles from your muscles finally releasing the tension they’ve been caught up in. 

You desperately suck in air, trying to calm your pounding heart, and you just lie there and let Logan walk your body through a cool-down. Soft kisses. Soft touches. Soft looks. Between sweat, cum, and whatever else.

He rocks a little on his knees, weak from his release, and carefully pulls out of you with a huff as he caresses your stomach and thighs appreciatively to wind you down. You get a good look at him. Not a scratch. His hair tells a story, though—one where he’s completely possessed by bliss. 

You probably look like you survived an animal attack.

“Are we even?” Logan says through a kiss against your stomach.

A mindless laugh crawls from your throat, caught up in the feeling of his hands rubbing circles over your hips. “I think I still owe you,” you argue, resting your hands over his as they travel smoothly up your side.

You’ll find a way to make everything up to him. Including the sex. The scale is now tipping to his side too much. All the nights spent in his bed, what he’s done for you, what you’ve done for each other, may just be immeasurable, but that won’t stop you from finding a way to get him back for it all. 

“We’ll figure it out,” he mumbles, snaking back up your body and pressing himself against you. Face-to-face. Chest-to-chest. 

You mindfully run your hands over the sides of his head, trying to tame his hair and style it back to how it was earlier in the night. It doesn’t work. He enjoys it anyway.

“Do I have the pleasure of staying here tonight?” You ask rhetorically, enjoying the warmth of him on top of you against the brisk air creeping in from the cracked window.

Logan blinks. “You can stay every night.” 

A loving smile springs over your face. This may be the beginning of the end to your troubles and worries.  

You—maybe foolishly—trust him. You trust that he won’t accidentally bury his claws in your side during the night, but you’ve had impressive luck with that up until this point. The only thing you can do now is continue to push that luck.

Healing isn’t linear, and you can’t expect someone to fix you, but everyone finds their thing at some point. 

You slither your hand down to his neck, index finger grazing over his pulse again. You feel the energy biting against you.

Your lips graze over his, tempting him to give you a slow, deep kiss. “Can I have the left side?” Rhetorical, again.

Logan chuckles against your mouth. “Always.”

[sanarsi]

Euphoria

professor!Joel Miller x student!f!Reader

Summary: One wrong call led to this, that instead of your boyfriend, it's your professor who picks you up from the party. Warnings: +18, MDNI, mention of drugs and alcohol, use of drugs (by reader), being under the influence of drugs, protective!Joel, angst, professor-student relationship, age gap (not specified), kinda perv!Joel(??? idk you'll judge), blowjob, pussy eating, cheating (kinda), protected PIV (he had a vasectomy), creampie, dom!Joel, no-outbreak AU, Sarah’s alive and happy, dubcon kinda? Wordcount: 8,1k An: Hiii, I would like to ask you to read the warnings before reading. If you are comfortable with the topic of drugs, angst and sex under the influence, I invite you to read and I hope you enjoy it. Meal is a meal and professor Miller is professor Miller so… this is just a good shit. Reblogs and comments are appreciated! <3 Music I worked with: Make You Mine - Madison Beer

Masterlist

The music was getting louder in your ears. Pushing through the sweaty, dancing people was becoming more and more of a challenge. Everything was starting to spin. You needed some fresh air.

The pills you took didn't work as they should have. Maybe you drank too much before, maybe you had a bad day, or maybe the guy had some shitty stuff.

Your lungs started to collapse more and more as you tried to take another breath. You panicked. You started pushing through the crowd faster and more aggressively. They didn't give a shit about you as much as you didn't give a shit about them.

Here, everyone lived their own life. Everyone had fun. You wanted too.

Until now.

A silent scream tried to escape you as you began to gulp air. You couldn't breathe any other way. You were getting weaker and weaker. Everything was getting hazy. The music was getting less and less distinct. Everything was like behind thick glass.

And right in the middle, in a little glass box, was you. Locked away with no access to oxygen and no cry for help.

You were alone.

Just when you thought the crowd would swallow you, you saw the door. A light at the end of the tunnel.

Something inside you, some instinct, forced your legs to move towards the exit. Your body acted as if it was programmed, like you weren't the one controlling it. Some greater force was moving you like a puppet.

The same force made the mysterious man appeared in front of you. You stopped, frowning and trying to focus your vision to identify his identity. But his face was blurry. Just like the touch of his arms, which wrapped around you to stop your body from falling.

"You've had enough for now," he said, slightly amused, and began to pull you towards the exit. You knew him. His voice was like a breath of fresh air and his arms gave you a false sense of security. You liked that voice. You liked the feeling that allowed you to take a moment to rest amidst the chaos around you and inside you.

"Call Joel," you mumbled indistinctly.

You reached your hand into the back pocket of your jeans and tried to pull out your phone a few times, but your strength disappeared. You couldn't even bring yourself to clench your fingers around this damn thing.

You were helpless and barely conscious, which made tears appear in your eyes.

Why did something like this have to happen when you finally wanted to break free and needed it more than anything else?

Why couldn't you have fun like the rest of them for once?

Why was it always you who got screwed?

"What's your password?" The pleasant male voice spoke again.

You frowned, closing your eyes as you tried to force yourself to think, or worse – say it out loud. The wind blow across your heated skin, making you shiver. You were freezing cold despite it being the middle of summer.

You felt bad and it was getting worse with every passing minute.

"Four zeros," you managed to choke out and looked around shakily. You were standing at the top of the stairs leading to the house.

When had you two left? You didn't register that moment.

The arm around your waist dug harder into your flesh as your knees buckled beneath you. You gasped, trying to keep your weight on the unstable sticks which were your, not so useful right now, legs.

The slightest gust of wind, or even a slight tilt of your head, made you swung like a blade of grass in the wind.

The feeling of falling sent panic through the corners of your brain, but your eyelids continued to droop heavily, blocking your vision. You braced yourself for the pain that was about to dull the rest of your senses, but all you felt was something hard under and behind you. After a moment, a cold sensation appeared around your head, which brought you no small amount of relief.

You purred with pleasure, snuggling closer to the metal railings by the stairs. Your friend looked down at you with concern before he went back to searching for the right contact in your phone.

And that's when the first problem appeared.

You had two phone numbers saved the same way.

Joel.

"Fuck," he muttered under his breath and selected the first contact.

Seconds passed, another ring sounded by his ear until automatic voicemail went off.

In that case, it had to be the second number, he thought. Since the first one was inactive, the second one had to be the good one, right?

Bull's eye.

After the third ring, a sleepy 'hello' sounded in the speaker.

"Hi, sorry to wake you up, but your girlfriend isn't in the best shape," he started immediately, glancing at your semi-conscious figure, cowering on the stairs. “’think she took some crappy stuff and is goin’ down the drain. She told me to call you. Can you come pick her up?”

There was silence on the other end.

A long silence.

A drawn-out silence.

He had to check phone to make sure the call was still going.

“Hello?”

“Give me the address.”

A quick exchange of the most necessary information ended the conversation. That was enough for Joel to appear in the district where the address was located in less than twenty minutes.

You were sitting cuddled in the arm of your friend, who was soothingly stroking your back. He didn't know if you had fallen asleep or if you were just that calm. He only hoped that you weren't struggling too much in your head after taking some shit. You weren't able to help him find out what and who you took it from.

His attention was drawn to the car that stopped in front of the house.

"Joel came to pick you up," he whispered with a smile and noticed that you woke up a bit at his words. You blinked a few times, raising your gaze.

"’s not that Joel," you mumbled.

He frowned, surprised by your reaction, and looked towards the man who just got out of the car and headed towards you.

At first, he couldn't recognize his face, but the closer he got, the clearer it became.

Indeed, he didn't look like your boyfriend. He was... too old to be in a relationship with you. He looked more like your father.

Maybe he was your uncle and he just got you into trouble? Damn it.

"You're not her boyfriend," he stated as Joel stopped by the stairs. His gaze was fixed on you and this sight definitely didn't satisfy him but he tried to didn't show it.

"Do I look like him?" he muttered unpleasantly and looked disapprovingly at the young boy who was holding you in his arms.

His silence was quite telling.

"What did she take?" he asked glancing at your barely conscious form.

"I don't–"

"Wonderful." The rough answer, silenced him effectively. "Did she have some stuff with her?" The next question only stressed the young boy out more.

"Are you her father or somethin’?" he asked, a bit skeptical of the older man.

"I'm her teacher," he replied, pressing his lips together tightly at the sight of you.

No one expected such an answer.

A quiet voice in your friend head blamed him for confusing the contacts and calling a strange guy instead of your boyfriend. What confused him more, was reason, why you had your teacher's number in your phone. And what was even more interesting, was why he picked up at such a late hour and decided to come pick you up.

"I–" he began, not very convinced by the fact that he had to hand you over to a strange guy who was your 'teacher'.

"I'll take her home," he cut him off firmly before he could express his distrust.

Without waiting for the boy to answer, Joel approached you and took your jaw in his hand. You frowned at the sudden movement, because your head was spinning in a bad way. Your gaze was absent as he tried to assess your condition.

Fact, you were in bad shape. He didn't even know if you were able to recognize him, which made the situation a bit more difficult.

"Sweetheart, tell me what you took," he said in a soft but firm tone.

You snorted sweetly, because his voice had a strangely soothing effect on your insides. You couldn't recognize his blurry face, but his touch was familiar. Warm, thick fingers that sent warm shivers through your body. You wanted to melt in his hand, and that's exactly what you did.

The entire weight of your head flew towards him, which made him tighten his grip, digging his fingers into your cheeks.

"Sweetheart..." he repeated softly to get your attention.

You opened your eyes with a blissful smile and tried with all your might to remember who those dark chocolate eyes belonged to. But it was his glasses that made a light bulb go off in your head.

“Just one blue pill, Professor,” you replied, causing relief from Joel and surprise from your friend.

"What are the blue ones for?" he asked, returning to his cold tone as he looked at the young boy.

"I– I don't know," he stuttered, frightened by sudden change in man’s behavior towards him.

"Then find out," he growled, nodding toward the house. Not a second had passed when the boy hurriedly disappeared behind the door.

Joel looked at you again with concern. You didn't look as bad as you had a moment ago. In fact, you looked like you were having a great time. Maybe you had a slightly wandering look, but the smile on your face and the sparkles in your eyes gave a misleading impression.

He knelt down in front of you with a quiet groan and looked at you from every side. There were no signs that anything bad had happened to you.

One stone from the heart. You were safe and sound. A little high, but healthy.

"Do you know who I am?" he asked and with his other hand he fixed the hair that was falling over your face. You watched his movements as if enchanted.

Everything had more vivid colors. His eyes were darker, deeper; you could drown in them. Every move he made seemed to play out in slow motion, giving you all the time you wanted to admire him.

"Joel Miller," you replied, smiling wider. "I didn't know you liked parties," you added before he could say anything. You threw him off balance with that.

He frowned, looking at you closely and he had to admit that he himself had once been young and had done a lot of... illegal things; that's why he decided to go in the direction you had imposed.

"I don't, but sometimes it happens and I end in places like this. I'm a little too old for such fun, you know?" he smiled gently, seeing that you were feeling better and better or the opposite – the drugs were starting to work.

"Just like me. But I'm young." You laughed charmingly, to which he laughed too and nodded. Your burst of energy was starting to worry him a little, but he'd rather that than you having a bad trip.

"So... since we're both not into parties, how about I take you home?"

He was treading thin ice to see if you'd cooperate with him. Unfortunately, your smile suddenly disappeared and he cursed in his mind.

"I can't, my parents think I'm at a friend's," you explained, rubbing your arm nervously.

Okay, that wasn't the answer that would put him in a bind.

"Then I'll take you to your friend's," he suggested but all he got in response was a negative shake of the head.

"She left."

That was already causing a bigger problem.

Joel tried to think quickly. All the possibilities flew through his head, choosing a few that he could test.

"Your friend said something about your boyfriend," he remembered, feeling that this was the way out of the whole situation. Your boyfriend, who was supposed to come here instead of him. At least that's what he concluded from the call he received.

"That asshole stood me up. He was supposed to come here with me, but he went with his friends to who knows where," you snapped, feeling furious at the jerk who dared to call himself your partner. Maybe you would regret this relationship if it wasn't for the fact that you were together for sex. Actually, apart from that, you didn't even like each other that much.

Despite that, he was good in bed, he took care of you at parties and other outings, and his name was Joel.

Exactly.

You were with him because you could shamelessly scream his name while you fucked, while really thinking about someone else. But that was your sweet secret. Sweet secret that held your jaw, staring at you through the lenses of his glasses.

"You don’t have anyone I could take you to?" he asked, increasingly helpless.

You smiled sweetly and shook your head in denial. "Nope."

A quiet sigh left his lips as he tried to think of a way out of this situation.

The worry in his eyes didn't match your current mood. You didn't like the fact that he was sad around you. You wanted to have fun, be happy, forget about all your problems for a moment.

"That's why I have to stay at the party until the morning," you said with a wide smile, at which he frowned.

"No," he ordered seriously, surprising you a bit. You rarely witnessed Joel addressing anyone like that. Especially you – his favorite. "I won't let you stay here when you're under the influence of some shitty pills."

"But–"

"No," he cut you off immediately. "I don't want to hear a word of protest. I'm your teacher even outside of working hours. I have to take care of your safety." His tone clearly indicated that he didn't want to hear your reasons for staying.

How could you argue with a man whose every word was sacred to you? Even if you wanted to, you couldn't because your friend came out of the house, catching your attention or at least Joel's attention, because yours was still focused only on him.

A smile bloomed on your face again as you could look at him with impunity.

Oh, he was handsome.

Deadly handsome for a man his age. Your father was younger than him and he looked much worse.

How was it even possible that you started to be attracted to a man older than your own father? You didn't know that, but you weren't going to delve into it because you liked the feeling he aroused in you.

"She took ecstasy." You heard from somewhere behind you before Joel looked straight into your eyes again as if he was looking for something. You didn't know for what, because he couldn't be looking for you; you were right in front of him.

"Come on, sweetheart," he sighed with a warm smile and slowly stood up. "I'll take you home, okay?" he suggested, holding out his hand to you.

You looked up at him with doe eyes and nodded silently. You didn't want him to be mad at you.

You didn't want to let him down so you politely gave him your hand and let him pull you up. It took a moment for your legs to get used to doing their duties again before you could fully stand on your own but despite that, Joel still wrapped his arm around your waist, holding you tightly to his side.

He didn’t want to risk you falling and cracking your head. Fate liked to play games with people and he had learned that the hard way many times. Way too many times.

Without any additional pleasantries, he led you to his car and sat you in the passenger seat. Your head was getting heavier as you tried to watch his movements; the way he fastened your seatbelt, the way he made sure you weren't sick, the way he ran his gaze down your body to make sure everything was okay.

But all he had to do was close the door and your eyelids closed by themselves. The car was quiet, nice and warm. You felt safe and the delicate scent of perfume he used only relaxed your muscles more.

Joel got into the car and before he drove away, he glanced at how you were trying not to let your eyelids fall. He sighed quietly, shaking his head in resignation and slowly drove out onto the street. Silence fell between you due to the fact that you had lost the fight with tiredness and simply fell asleep.

And at the same time he was struggling with his thoughts of what he should do. What was appropriate for him to do. He should have taken you home. Even if you were going to have a row after crossing the threshold. It was none of his business what happened to you after he got you to safety.

But another thought lurked in his mind. An idea that shouldn't have been there. Had no right to be there. Yet this thought overshadowed what was right.

Because Joel had long since admitted to himself that you were more important to him than the rest of the students. He had stopped denying how much he enjoyed sitting with you in his office in the evenings, helping you study. After many months of struggling with himself, he realized how much he appreciated your company, your attention, your smile, all of you.

That's why the thought of taking you home and witnessing the fight immediately slipped of off his mind.

He didn't want to cause you any trouble at home. The fact that he found you in such a state only proved that you had enough to worry about. Why would he give you more? He didn't like it when your pretty little head was filled with problems he couldn't help you with. But with what was happening now, he could help you.

That’s why after twenty minutes he stopped in front of his house.

You continued to sleep soundly, not worrying about anything anymore and he didn't have the heart to wake you up. You looked too innocent for him to interrupt your peaceful state of unconsciousness. The smudged mascara and a bit of glitter on your eyelids only added to your charm.

Joel really wanted to hate himself for the way his heart beat at the sight of you, but he couldn't. He couldn't hate the feeling you evoked in him. Because this feeling was good. Warmth spread across his chest and more wrinkles formed around his eyes from the wide smiles you caused in him.

You were like a ray of sunshine. Why would he hate the sunbeam that fell on him?

He knew he shouldn't feel this way. You were his student, the best he'd ever had the chance to teach. But he couldn't fight it. Not when you were pushing yourself into his arms. When you gave him your full attention. When your hand touched his every chance you got. He just couldn't.

That's why it didn't bother him at all to carry you home. Actually, he did it with all too much desire. He couldn't resist the feeling of holding you in his arms as your head rested peacefully on his shoulder.

The door closed behind him with a soft click as he slowly walked down the hallway. Darkness reigned everywhere after he was suddenly yanked out of bed. Now there wasn't much left of his desire to sleep.

He carefully opened the door to the guest room and tightened his arms a little as he walked with you over the threshold. As if to spite you, your phone began to vibrate, which made you grumble anxiously. He quickly laid you on the bed and reached into the back pocket of your pants. The bright screen forced him to squint as he tried to see who was calling you at this hour.

Joel.

He frowned, glancing at you and then back at the phone. Before he could think about his decision, he clicked the red receiver, rejecting the call and muted your phone, placing it on the cabinet next to it. Just in case, he did it in such a way that another incoming call wouldn't be visible.

Your quiet groan caught his attention so he didn't wait for you to wake up any longer and carefully started to take off your shoes; right after that, socks. He couldn't let you sleep uncomfortably after, what was probably a pretty lively, party. He felt that he had to take care of not only your safety but also your comfort, so that you could wake up in the morning without any consequences after tonight. And only because of that reason, his gaze wandered to your legs covered in jeans.

He cursed himself in his mind because of the ideas that started to come to his mind.

He couldn't.

He should leave you like this and go back to his bedroom.

He should have done it.

And yet, he leaned closer to you and gently stroked your cheek. "Sweetheart," he said quietly, wanting to wake you up.

Although there was at least that much common sense left in him.

He smiled fondly when he saw that you opened your eyelids a little with a grunt. "Lift your hips," he ordered and all he got in response was to do as he asked. No questions or comments.

Feeling the growing tightness in his chest, he unbuttoned your button and zipper. Deep down he knew how fucking wrong it was. But he couldn't fight it as his fingers began to slide the material of your jeans down your hips.

Another grievous sin was added to his mental list as his gaze fell on your underwear. The lump in his throat began to grow with every second his eyes were fixed on your black panties.

So damn plain black cotton panties.

Then why was this the sexiest sight in his whole life?

"Fuck," he cursed in a whisper and pulled your pants all the way down. Then your hips fell back onto the mattress with a quiet sigh.

He felt like a pervert, seeing you like this when you were on the edge of reality and dream so he forced himself to leave the room while he still could.

How long before he gave in?

It took a trip to the bathroom and his room.

Then he reappeared by the bed where you were lying half naked; with his old t-shirt in one hand and micellar fluid in the other. Having a daughter had many advantages, so he knew that falling asleep with makeup on was not something pleasant.

That's why for the next ten minutes he gently wiped your face with soaked cotton pads. He sat by your side, carefully wiped off the smallest traces of makeup and had to admit, that it was also refreshing even for him. A moment of silence helped him calm his thoughts, and the sight of your innocent face only confirmed that he had to take care of you. That was all that mattered now.

Until the moment you purred and delicate smile spread across your lips.

That was enough for a burning heat to appear in his chest again.

"This feels nice," you whispered in a slightly hoarse voice.

Joel was just finishing cleaning your cheek when your eyes began to stare at him. This time you didn't have a wandering gaze. You seemed... normal.

He quickly believed it because he wanted to believe it. He wanted you to be sober at the moment when you were closer than ever before. When you were in his house. Lying in his bed. On his sheets.

"How do you feel?" he asked, placing the cotton pad on the cabinet next to him, not taking his eyes off your shiny ones.

"Good." Your smile didn't disappear for a moment as you watched him carefully. You definitely weren't complaining about seeing him, but you wondered about other thing. "Where are we?" After that question, you looked around the dark room a bit. You didn't remember ever being in this place. It was too pretty here compared to the places you usually stayed.

"In my house," he replied, a bit afraid of your reaction.

Maybe he really should have taken you to your house despite the problems that were to come?

Maybe he went too far by bringing you to his place without your consent.

It's true that at university you were close, but it was always at the university. Never outside of it.

"It's nice here."

Your comment dispelled all his doubts. He didn't even realize he was holding his breath when a sigh of relief finally left his lungs.

"Do you need anything?" he asked, wanting to get back on solid ground.

Your presence of mind would allow him to pull himself together. All you had to do was say you were tired. That you wanted to go to sleep. That you wanted for him to leave you alone.

Anything that would indicate that he should go and leave you alone.

"Can I have a glass of water, please?" you asked, looking at him as if the request was too much to ask for.

You had already violated his hospitality. He had picked you up from a party in the middle of the night and brought you to his house. You were slowly starting to feel like an idiot.

"Of course," he nodded and left the room, leaving you alone.

You rubbed your face with your hand and slowly sat up. A penetrating feeling of shame crept into your head as you began to look at your thighs.

Did you undress yourself or did he undress you? You probably didn't want to know the answer to that question.

You felt like you'd already made a fool of yourself. You couldn't even tell if the drugs were still affecting you. You felt light, good, but your mind was starting to work differently. You didn't know what to focus on what to think. There were so many things happening that you should have been in control of right now and yet you sat there helplessly, staring at your flesh.

You came to the conclusion that you probably didn't have the strength to feel ashamed of what was happening now. You were too tired. Your mind wouldn't cooperate with you, so the best option was to face everything in the morning.

Despite your momentary sobriety, you still couldn't fight the feeling that was growing in your belly. Like a big warm ball was warming up your insides and giving you pleasure. That was the only reason you had a constant blissful smile on your face. It felt good. Focusing on that feeling was much more enjoyable than trying to think.

Joel returned a few minutes later with a glass of water, finding you dressed in his shirt and sitting on the edge of the bed with your head down. He swallowed hard, fighting the feeling the sight of you had stirred in him. He didn't want to admit what it was doing to him.

“Here,” he said, catching your attention. You looked up at him, your eyes so big and shiny that he had to clench his jaw to control his emotions. It wasn’t until a moment later that your gaze dropped to the glass in front of your face and, with a silent 'thank you', you took it.

In silence, he sat down next to you and watched as you took small sips. The cold water brought you some relief and tasted much better than usual. Only when you had drunk half a glass, you put it on the cabinet next to you and wiped your lips with the back of your hand. The silence echoed in your ears, making you focus more on the growing feeling of pleasure in your body.

You had to do something to not fall into this.

"I'm sorry," you said, starting to gently bite your lip. Despite the whole situation, you wanted to smile. "This wasn't supposed to be like this."

"And what was it supposed to be like?" His question made you look at him. Warmth radiated from him. He didn't seem angry. He didn't seem like he blamed you for your irresponsibility. It was a strangely pleasant change from what you usually experienced with your father.

You laughed quietly and looked down. “I don’t know,” you admitted, shrugging. You didn’t even know how to answer that question. Because what exactly did you expect? “I wanted to escape reality for a bit.”

“Aren’t there other ways to do it?”

“There probably are, but that was the only one I know of.”

You might be ashamed of it, but it was the truth. There was nothing in your life that would allow you to forget, even for a moment, all the shit that was going on around you.

You didn't want to think about it at a time when you felt light as a feather. You clenched your fists tighter into the mattress to hold back your smile because all you wanted to do was gasp while laughing at how good you felt.

Joel didn't seem to notice. He felt like you were struggling with negative emotions and he wanted so badly to help you get rid of the thoughts that were occupying your mind. You looked like you were at least physically in pain as your entire body tensed up as if searching for the slightest point of contact. Without thinking too much, his hand covered yours. You let out a shaky breath as his large fingers tightened around yours. It was a comforting gesture on his part, but to you it was like pouring gasoline on a fire. His touch was all you could focus on. The hot, large hand that was touching your small, cold one.

You began to tremble. Everything inside you began to crave more of that feeling, even though his hand alone was enough to make a moan die in your throat.

"I want to help you."

His offer hung between you like heavy clouds. His words had no second meaning, and yet you took it that way.

He wanted to help you. But how?

How could he make your mind stop running with tormenting thoughts?

You searched for the answer to this question in his eyes and even though this was an ordinary question, something else was lurking inside him. Something that you caught. Or at least that's what you thought.

However, thinking at a time like this wasn't working out very well for you. That's why you didn't know how your lips found their way to his. You couldn't remember when you got so close, pressing a strong kiss to his mouth.

You squeezed your eyes shut, frozen and waiting for his answer but Joel was in too much shock to do anything. Even breathing seemed like a superhuman ability now. That's why after the seconds dragged on, you pulled away with a sense of shame. Seeing the shock on his face, you really felt like an idiot but you couldn't control yourself. You didn't even know how on earth you decided to do something like that. How on earth did you decide to cross the sacred border.

"Professor, I'm sorry-" you tried to explain yourself but then his hand found its way into your hair, pulling you firmly only for him to initiate the kiss this time.

You moaned not expecting such a turn of events. His stubble pleasantly irritated your skin, sending waves of stars all over your body. A smile spread across your lips as his proximity began to stimulate you. Soft lips perfectly matched yours. Every kiss he gave you was like you had done it a thousand times before. His tongue was delicate and sweet, making you purr with pleasure. Every second of his closeness gave you more strength.

He and drugs were the most addictive combination you had ever had the opportunity to try. Apart from the fact that all your desires, that you had for this man for a very long time, were coming true.

Neither of you even thought about how fucked up it all was. You both wanted this too much to care about anything but each other's touch.

Even Joel started to feel like he was high. Your soft lips and quiet sighs gave him shivers of desire. He couldn't remember the last time his cock hardened as quickly as the moment your hand started to travel up his thigh.

He couldn't hold back a groan when your fingers gently tightened around the bulge in his sweatpants. The mere fact that he was so turned on by you, sent waves of arousal through every corner of your body. Heavenly feeling overshadowed all your senses.

“Please,” you whispered desperately into his mouth.

You felt his hand tighten around yours, making him moan, and you took that as an answer. You hooked your fingers around the waistband of his sweatpants and underwear, silently asking him to take them off. And that’s exactly what he did, without thinking too much, he lifted his hips and slid everything in your way off of them. Your kisses became sloppier and deeper as your hand found its way to his cock again.

Cold fingers wrapped around his hot, throbbing friend. The skin-to-skin contact elicited a throaty groan from him.

He was thick. You could barely contain him as you slowly began to pump him, up and down, letting more precum wet his tip. You gently ran your thumb over his head to spread everything. His cock trembled in your hand, trying to escape the too intense feeling.

His fingers tightened on your hair and his lips stopped coordinating with yours. You smiled widely and synchronized your kisses with the movements of your hand. With your tongue, you collected all the moans that came out of him. Joel felt like he was in a trap that he didn't want to get out of. Your gentle kisses and touch were driving him to the limits of his self-control.

And any remaining control disappeared the moment you fell to your knees before him.

You settled comfortably between his thighs, licking your lips. Joel sighed at the sight and propped himself up on his hands, leaning back a bit to get a better view of the way a string of saliva flew out of your mouth. His cock didn't even have time to twitch at this feeling because his tip disappeared into your mouth.

“Oh fuck,” he inhaled loudly.

You didn't give him a chance to get used to your warm tongue before you swallowed him halfway. He winced at the sudden surge of pleasure and looked at you with his mouth parted. You began to work your head, taking him deeper with each pass.

You were determined to swallow him whole, despite what you were capable of. You needed to prove to yourself that you could do it, that you could do more for him than for others.

“That's right, baby,” he hissed through clenched teeth. Hearing the praise from his lips, you felt like you were capable of anything. And that's exactly what you did, swallowing him whole.

A loud moan bounced off the walls as your throat tightened around his tip. He thrust his hips, trying to go deeper, and you let him. You pressed your nose into his flesh, holding him completely in your mouth. Joel watched everything with delight. Every twitch of his cock causing your walls to tighten around him.

He tried to breathe calmly but he couldn't focus on anything except how wonderful it felt to feel your mouth on his dick. He preferred not to admit how many times he had seen this sight before his eyes when he masturbated. Now, when he was experiencing it firsthand, he felt like he was in heaven. His imagination couldn't even match up to how skillfully you drove him crazy.

You started to choke so you immediately pulled away from his crotch. A string of saliva was the only thing that connected you two as you raised a tearful gaze at him. Joel was breathing heavily as he stared at you with adoration. And even though he wanted to feel your lips around him again, he couldn't stop himself from feeling them on him again.

He leaned down, capturing your lips in a hard kiss and covered your cheeks with his hands, forcing you to stand up. You didn't resist his movements, allowing him to pull you onto his lap. His cock throbbed, hitting your lower abdomen, causing another wave of arousal to start leaking out of you.

You wrapped your arms tightly around his neck, deepening the kiss and allowing yourself a moment to play with his tongue. Joel was more than willing to let you do whatever you wanted to him. He gripped your ass tightly, earning a moan from you.

The hot ball inside you turned into a real fire between your thighs. The feeling was starting to overwhelm you, forcing quiet squeals out of you as you rubbed against his hard cock over and over again.

You needed to get rid of this feeling.

You needed to relieve yourself of the pain of arousal.

“Please, I want you inside me.”

Your silent plea didn't have to wait long for his answer. In one movement, he turned you over, letting you fall onto the soft mattress. You gasped when he suddenly pulled away from you and practically ripped your panties off. All the wetness smeared across the inside of your thighs but Joel was too busy to notice. He squeeze your panties in his hand, feeling the black material was completely soaked and shamelessly inhaled your scent.

Your pheromones awakened things in him he didn't know existed. Like in a frenzy, he hid your underwear in the pocket of his sweatpants and blindly threw his glasses on the table. He didn't really care that they probably broke when you writhed in anticipation on the bed in front of him.

"I've been waiting ages to find out what you taste like," he said, more to himself than to you, and grabbed you tightly by the hips, pulling you closer to the edge of the bed. Your breath caught in your lungs as his hands began to roam your body in a possessive way and right under your shirt.

But when his face disappeared between your legs, you couldn't take the tension anymore and you threw your head back with a moan. Just the feeling of his breath and the knowledge of how close he was to your pussy was driving you crazy. He didn't have to do anything at all to make you writhe under him.

Every muscle in your body tensed as you felt him start to lick everything that smeared on your thigh. You began to pant heavily, feeling as he got closer to his goal with every second. Until finally, he planted the wettest, deepest kiss on your slit. You moaned loudly, arching your back at the overwhelming feeling. His tongue ran along the length of your pussy and with a growl of satisfaction, he sucked on your clit.

Instinctively, you clenched your fists tightly on the sheets and tried to move your hips out of his reach, but his hands on your waist effectively stopped your movements.

The sting of his beard perfectly matched his agile tongue. You were shocked at how quickly a familiar feeling began to gather in your lower abdomen. You couldn't remember the last time someone had brought you to such a state.

You didn't know what was causing it. The drugs that were still circulating in your blood, your desire for him or his amazing abilities. It was also possible that all of them at once made your legs tremble.

You wanted to scream, squeal, tell him to stop, tell him to continue. You couldn't decide but he made the decision for you, pulling away and depriving you of your orgasm. You opened your eyes, searching for him with your gaze and you wanted to beg him to come back to his place.

Seeing your gaze, a smirk appeared on his face. Having you in such a state made him feel like a god. He had already forgotten what it felt like to have such power over someone, to experience someone looking at you with such desire as you did for him when he took away your opportunity to come.

"You'll come with my cock inside you," he decided.

You blinked a few times and closed your mouth in shock. It was the first time you had witnessed such a change in his behavior and you had to admit that you liked him even more this way. You loved his gentle nature that surrounded you every day but his possessive version aroused a wild desire in you.

You wanted to dig your nails into his flesh until it bled and beg him to come inside you so hard and deep that you would see stars. But instead of saying that, you nodded, barely able to say a quiet 'okay'.

Your answer satisfied him.

Your submission satisfied him.

Holding his cock stiffly, he positioned himself between your legs. You felt him right at your entrance and you shuddered, clenching around nothing. Joel looked with satisfaction at the mess that you were. Disheveled hair, shiny eyes, his shirt that now revealed more than it covered.

"Fuck, you're beautiful," he whispered affectionately at the sight of you.

Your breath caught in your throat when you locked eyes with him. But your eyes rolled back in an instant when his hands gripped your hips tightly and in one movement he pulled you to him, impaling you all the way on his cock. The cry that came out of you was the most animalistic sound he had ever heard. He shuddered with a moan feeling your tight pussy pulsating around him. He couldn't even experience this feeling in his dreams.

"I knew you'd be perfect," he gasped and slowly pulled out of you only to thrust hard back.

Another scream tore through your throat like fire but it didn't stop him from slowly setting the perfect pace for himself. The sound of flesh slapping flesh echoed through the room.

"Soaked, warm and tight."

He thrust harder and harder and you couldn't shake the feeling of him going so damn deep inside you. The arousal overshadowed the pain he was causing you. You weren't used to his cock. It was thicker and longer than the one you usually had inside you.

"Made especially for me," he growled, digging his fingers deeper into your hips.

You wrapped your hands around his wrists and dug your nails into them, silently begging for him to be more gentle.

You never expected someone like Joel to be so domineering in bed. In your fantasies, it was always you who was finishing him off, not him finishing you off.

“Who does this pussy belong to?” he panted, searching for your gaze until he finally found it, completely cock drunk. You winced as he thrust hard into you once again, not giving you a chance to catch your breath. He saw how bravely you were struggling with what he had given you, how you were trying to get used to his size. He felt you still clench around him tightly and if you could, you would rip his cock off. "To who?" he repeated, raising his eyebrows encouragingly.

For a guy his age, he held himself surprisingly well despite how fast he moved his hips, impaling you over and over again with his entire length.

"Toyoutoyoutoyou," you hissed in one breath and began to pant heavily, feeling the increasing tension in the muscles between your legs.

Joel smiled, pleased with the state he had brought you to, and pushed harder into you. That was the first time you saw stars and your lungs forgot how to breathe.

"You're right, to me," he nodded, leaning towards you. His hand slid under your shirt and after a moment it squeezed pleasantly painfully on your breast. You whimpered from the new stimulant that echoed off your clit. "And you know what I don't like?" he asked, teasing your nipple with his thumb, while slowing down the movements of his hips, entering you more passionately. "Sharing," he answered before his question even reached your consciousness.

Longer and longer moans accompanied every movement of his hips. His cock smoothly began to rub against that perfect spot in your pussy. You felt like crying from the pleasure that intensified the feeling of ecstasy inside you.

"Do you think your boyfriend will be happy when you tell him who's going to fuck you from now on?" he purred, rubbing his nose against your cheek. The scent of desperation filled his nostrils. You needed to come. You needed to be free from this burning feeling in your mind.

"What boyfriend?" you asked, overcome by the approaching fulfillment.

Joel smiled against your face and began to place wet kisses on your neck. You closed your eyes, tangling your fingers in his hair and fully surrendering yourself to everything he was giving you. His cock gently stimulated your cervix and the rest of his length created the perfect friction that drove you crazy. His hand sensually stroked your thigh and the other caressed your breast. This deadly combination quickly took away the last of your ability to think.

"Will you come for me, pretty girl?" he whispered, gently biting your skin. "Cum for me and let me fill you."

The only answer you were able to give him was a long moan as you reached your peak. You could dimly hear his praises and how proud he was of you. The feeling of euphoria spread through your body in strong waves, reaching the furthest corners of your body. Joel watched with fascination as the orgasm took over your body, the way you began to arch beneath him, the way you clenched your fingers tightly in his hair in need. This sight was something he feared he would never see again in his life. And yet, it was you lying beneath him, satisfied, overcome by pleasure.

The throbbing of your cunt and just you in yourself, drove him mad. Orgasm shook his body as if the last time he fucked was thirty years ago. The pleasure overpowered his ability to breathe. He froze, letting his cum fill you completely.

It felt like when he first discovered what his hand could do.

Overcome by the experience, he didn't even notice you watching him in silence, trying to calm your breathing. Your eyes sparkled as you stared at his tired face. You couldn't accept the fact that you had just experienced what you had dreamed of for a long time. And for the first time in a long time, you were just so fucking happy.

"Thank you," you whispered, placing your hands on his cheeks and lifting your head to connect your lips in a gentle kiss. Joel didn't resist even a second as he deepened the kiss, crushing you with his weight.

In that moment, you could admit that you forgot about the whole world. It was only him.

[gtgbabie0]

-Aegon Targaryen x Wife!Reader

{Aegon takes pleasure in his cups… and in between your thighs although it’s all the same to him}

!!-18//MDNI-!! I was listening to Amy Whinehouse whilst writing this, enjoy my lovelies💕

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The hour of the bat was well and truly upon Kings Landing, the crescent moon resting against the abyss of the night sky as it casts down a silvery hue that bleeds throughout the Red Keep. With the absence of the sun, you found peace, resting on the velvety divan with a book in hand.

You were lost within the chapters as Aegon paces the length of your bedchambers before collapsing next to you on the divan, leaning up against cushions with a heavy sigh.

“They all belittle me… they all take me for a fool.” He huffs, pointing over to the door of your chambers, still complaining about today’s council meeting with a deep frown. You had already said your piece yet it seems Aegon was not done venting to you.

He looks up to you, opening his mouth to complain about how you ‘need to pay attention to him and not the book’ however the words fall short, dissolving on the tip of his tongue as he stares at you completely star-stuck.

His lips curl into a lopsided grin, the sight of you and the slightly sheer fabric of your nightslip that veils your body, how the fireplace bathes you in a warm orangey light, you had a beauty that captivated him wholly.

“Fuck them… fuck, all of them.” He declares suddenly, although deep down he doesn’t mean the words, not really, you can tell by the way his amethyst eyes flicker with hesitation, glancing down at his fidgeting hands.

“Aegon—” you start, but your words are quickly cut off by him, his rough palm resting against your cheek.

His gaze meets your own, shuffling closer to you, his lips curling downwards in a nonchalant manner. “No, I don’t need any of them, just you.” His words are hushed, only meant for your ears.

With a sigh your eyes soften in an understanding, for you know his only desire is to be admired or at the very least just simply liked. You close your book, leaning over him to place it on the wooden table.

“And you have me, no matter what the future holds.” You reaffirm his words, watching him closely as he lets out a shaky sigh which he tries his best to conceal.

There was an instability in Aegon’s life, save for you, his only constant in a world of ever-changing conditions. Perhaps that is why he clings to you the way he does, arms wrapped tightly around your soft waist with his head nuzzled into the crook of your neck.

“I am not as malleable as they think… I will win, I will burn down anyone who goes against me.” He whispers against the curve of your jaw, confidence weighing against his tone. His hand slips in between the gap of your nightslip to caress your bare waist down to your hip, the cool metal of his wedding band sends a chill down your spine.

He needed a distraction, the pressure from the heavy crown he never asked for was too much for him to endure alone. He needed to not feel like such a disappointment for even just a small moment.

He kisses the small spot behind your ear, an invitation, to which your head instinctively tilts to the side, enticing him to leave open-mouthed kisses along your neck. His lips linger against your pulse point with a small grin, the sound of your pleasured sigh hitting his ears.

“Of course, I do not doubt you, you know that.” You whisper through a shaky voice, steeped in desire. Your body jolts, a soft gasp, at the feeling of his teeth nipping the sensitive skin on your throat before kissing the spot once then twice.

He hums in acknowledgement, pulling back to admire you. His palm still cupping your cheek with a certain hint of possessiveness, it shows in the way he thumbs at your bottom lip. “Hmm, you might be the only one who does, my pretty wife.” He whispers, all of his worries and troubles slowly ebbing away.

The atmosphere around the pair of you suddenly changes, the air becoming so thick that you’re sure it could snuff out the candles around you.

“Yours… all yours Aegon.” The words come out in one breath, tumbling past your parted lips as his fingertips graze along your lower abdomen, slipping through the coarse hair on your mound before dipping past your slick folds.

The rough pads of his finger slides along your slit to collect your wetness before finding your clit, rubbing slow circles against the sensitive bud, testing the waters, as you melt into the divan. Aegon chuckles against your shoulder, enjoying the way your thighs spread and your hips writhe with desperation for more.

He sinks down onto the floor, kneeling between your thighs, ready to pray at the altar of your body. He immediately pushes the silk fabric of your nightdress up past your thighs, letting it pool around your hips.

“I’ve been deprived of you for weeks…” he mutters, leaving marks against your hip-bones, sucking at the sensitive skin, before soothing them with a gentle kiss or two.

You watch his lilac eyes go dark with a carnal craving, the way his hands greedily feel up your thighs, squeezing the supple fat harshly, it all only elicits more gasps and moans from you.

He coos against the inside of your thigh, nudging one leg over his shoulder and propping the other up on the divan to spread out in front of him, the sight of your soaked cunt going straight to his hardening cock. “I’ll be gentle… so gentle.” He smirks, a lie, lips trailing over your inner thighs with all tongue and teeth as your hips buck upwards in anticipation.

He tuts, fingers digging into your hips to keep you still. All too suddenly he’s tugging you closer to him roughly, making you slouch against the cushions of the divan with a shocked gasp.

Your fingers bury within his white choppy hair, pulling him closer to your aching heat as his tongue trails along your cunt, flicking against your clit with a groan. He smirks into your soaked folds, the sound of your whiny moans, the way his name falls from your parted lips in a hunger only he could satisfy, it all makes his skin burn.

“Keep moaning… let me hear you.” He encourages, words muffled against your slickness, lips pressed to your clit, leaving open-mouthed kisses against your sensitive bud trying to elicit more sweet noises from your lips as he hums in delight.

A broken moan escapes you, your hips grinding upwards in tandem with his lips and tongue. “Oh, Aegon… more please.” You cry out, a woman possessed by pleasure.

It is the same possession that causes you to arch your back up from the divan to try and get closer to him. His fingers squeezing into your hips, a warning, his tongue lapping up your desire before teasing your entrance, practically drinking from you as if you were a chalice of Arbor Red.

Aegon flattens his tongue against your cunt, licking up to your clit once more with a muffled moan, sucking on it with delight. “Tastes so sweet…” The vibrations from his words only serve to add to the searing heat that begins to pool deep within your lower abdomen, leaving you a panting mess.

“Aegon, don’t stop… I’m so close.” your hands pull helplessly at his hair, drawing him impossibly closer. He chuckles at your wanton need, how you shamelessly grind yourself against his mouth without a care in the world.

He pushes his fingers inside of you with ease, humming in pleasure at the way your heat sucks in his digits. Aegon fucks you with them you at a tantalising pace whilst licking at your sensitive bud. You look down at him, your mouth agape, watching his head move against you so eagerly as you teeter along the line of release.

“Gods— Aegon!” You cry out his name with a broken moan, your slick walls clamping around his fingers as he continues to curl them deep inside you, still kissing greedily at your clit. He mumbles sweet, loving words of encouragement as he drinks up your orgasm. The wet sounds fill the silence of your bedchambers as you come down from your high with shaky breaths that come out in puffs.

He looks up at you with a cocky smirk, pride blooming through his chest, his lips and chin slick with your release. He pushes himself back onto the divan, leaning over you. “You are truly all I need, all I want.” He whispers feverishly, his fingers wrapping around your jaw to bring your lips to his own.

The taste of you against his lips is all you need to deepen the messy kiss, both of you melting into each other's warmth in a mixture of lust and love. He would take this as long as he could, until you were completely satiated. And even then, he would push for more. He was addicted to you.

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[aaronsguccitie]

ohhhh I think I have a prompt?? the reader not being part of the BAU and meeting the team for the first time? a sort of "oh this is why Hotch has been smiling more" moment for them lol

Unexplainable phenomenon 

Cw: non bau fem!reader, fluff, mentioned age gap (no ages), engaged hotch and reader, nosy bau, no use of yn

Word count: 2k

————

Despite dating Aaron for almost two years, you’d never stepped foot in the BAU.

That thought has never hit you as acutely as it does now, standing just past the glass doors of the bullpen and vaguely feeling faint at the hustle and bustle of it all. The lights are obnoxiously bright, agents walk briskly to and from offices, and desks are piled high with stacks of case files, most of them teetering on the edge of collapse. Fax machines, printers, and phones ring continually over the hum of talking people, the cacophony of sounds mixing into a loud buzz. A strange scent of coffee and paper blankets the entire floor.

How does Aaron handle this, all day every day? And that’s only the easier part of his job, you think as you scan the bullpen for him.

“Are you lost there, Ma’am?” A voice calls next to your elbow. You turn to find a tall, dark-skinned man smiling at you, his brown eyes bright.

“Uh, no,” you smile back, even though you’re pretty sure you are. Turning back to the bullpen, your eyes skip again over offices and crowded desks as you say, “I’m just looking for Aaron Hotchner. Do you know where I might find him?”

The man’s eyes widen the slightest bit as you turn back to him. Surprise washes over his face, and when he quickly runs his gaze over you from top to bottom, you see a hint of intrigue in his features.

Your fingers grab for your engagement ring and you start twisting it around as he gestures with his hand to follow him, a sharp gleam in his eyes that reminds you of your fiancé whenever he tries to snuff out a lie. 

“There’s not many places Hotch would be besides his office,” he says easily as he starts leading you to it. You stifle a smile at that; sounds typical. “Usually it’s either that or—”

“Honey?” A surprised voice cuts through the hush of talking people. Immediately recognizing the warm cadence, you turn, a smile tugging at your lips when you see Aaron walking out of a small kitchen with a mug in his hand.

“Hi.” You beam, turning your back on the agent and approaching him, the buzz of the bullpen fading away at the sight of him.

“This is a surprise,” he murmurs when you’re close enough to spot his singular white lash nestled between raven ones.

You lift your brow, your tone coy. “Good one, I hope?” A light flutter of your lashes has him ducking his head a little, a smile—your smile—softening his face.

“Of course.” He agrees quietly. His honey-brown eyes trace over your face; you feel his gaze on your cheeks, the line of your jaw, the slope of your nose, and it makes your body flush with warmth. Aaron taps the visitor badge on your shirt with a smile, “What brings you here?”

It’s ridiculous, really. You’d been going through wedding planning on your work break, searching for dates and venues and floral arrangements; it had barely been a week since Aaron proposed, but you were giddy with excitement. It only took about fifteen minutes before you got overwhelmed with the infinite options for everything and started itching for Aaron to be at your side, going through them with you in his gentle way. Your brain so helpfully supplied that he wasn’t on a case, so there was nothing holding you back from getting into the car and driving. The need for him was sudden and swift, and as you pulled into the parking lot, exceedingly ridiculous. But you’d already reached Quantico, so really, there was no point in going back without going up.

“Is that coffee?” You avoid the question and point at the dark liquid in his mug, very obviously coffee.

His expression turns the slightest bit smug, as if he inexplicably knows. God, you hate that sometimes. Aaron nods and presses the mug into your hands. “Here.”

You bring it to your lips and take a sip despite the potent, bitter scent rising with the steam. It’s a taste you’d gotten used to, given how often you steal his coffee. “Where’s your team?” You reach for his hand and loop your fingers around his wrist, feeling the skin between the cuff of his jacket and the metal band of his watch.

“Right behind you.” The tips of his fingers skim your elbow as he looks over your head, locking eyes with them. The skin pulls tight at his jaw as he makes a sound low in his throat. “Fair warning, they’re staring,” he mutters under his breath, looking back from them to you. His small smile disappears, an almost imperceptible wrinkle between his brows at the way they’re ogling you.

Turning, you find four agents gathered at one desk, shamelessly staring at the two of you. Among them is the agent who started leading you to Aaron before you abandoned him. He gives you a grin and a small salute, and you sheepishly look back at your fiancé, whose gaze on you hadn’t moved.

“Introduce me,” you say, even as your cheeks warm from their scrutiny. Though you can’t pick out their voices, you swear they’re tearing you apart, cataloging the laughable distance between you and Aaron, zeroing in on his soft touches and yours, his FBI issued mug in your hand.

Heaving out a sigh, Aaron agrees with a murmured, “Okay.” 

You know his reluctance has nothing to do with you; even when you met him, he was an achingly private person, someone who preferred to express his affections behind closed doors and away from prying eyes. You understood—it’d taken a while for you to introduce him to your loved ones, the notable age difference making you hesitate a bit. 

After a while, though—long after you told your family—it did start getting to you, that he seemed so opposed to the idea of you meeting his team as his girlfriend. You had kept quiet about it, silently embarrassed at the gratification this small act would give you, but when Aaron finally got it out of you, he instantly dismissed the notion that you were the problem.

We know everything about each other, he told you, his tone mildly exasperated at the fact that he gets to see his team more than you and Jack. You, at least, I get to keep for me.

And you hadn’t pushed since, content with existing in the small bubble of you, him, and Jack. Jess knows, of course, and so do your parents and friends, but time spent with Aaron’s team outside of work is so rare that you don’t feel the weight of the decision anyway. Truthfully you hadn’t thought of that aspect before you jumped into your car, too overwhelmed with the need to see him, but as he places his hand on your back and gently leads you to them, you feel a nervous excitement swirl in your gut.

Expelling it by running your thumb over the rim of the mug, you smile a little at the way his team turns away as the two of you approach, apparently now abashed at their ogling.

A blonde perches on a desk—JJ, you think; you recognize her from press conferences. She’s the only one whose face you know, but the brunette with a coy smile is easy to identify as Emily, and when you see the shaggy haired guy standing next to her chair, your mind immediately says Reid, the vibrant sweater vest and printed tie a dead giveaway. You know there’s two members missing, but at this point you’re too jittery meeting the four of them to ask for two more.

“Who’ve you got there, Hotch?” Emily asks as you reach her desk, a smile playing at the corners of her lips and her eyes bright with intrigue. Looking around, you find similar expressions on the other agents’ faces, only a little more subdued on Reid’s. He watches less obviously, leaning casually on Emily’s desk with his arms crossed, but his eyes are searching. 

Their gazes not so subtly drop to Aaron’s hand on your back.

Aaron introduces you. The sound of your name brings a chorus of hello’s and nice to meet you’s, as well as an exchanged look between Emily and the agent you saw when you first came in—Morgan, a glance at his badge tells you. The name is familiar now that it’s in your head, and you remember more than a few times Aaron had grumbled about him as you listened in amused silence, quietly awed that he’d been able to get under his skin.

“She’s my fiancée.” Aaron continues, and the effect is similar to that of a dropped bomb.

Their mouths—except for Reid’s—drop open as they gape in shock. A flush crawls up your cheeks as Morgan whistles and JJ subtly tilts her head to get a better look at you. Reid gives a small nod, as if expecting it, Emily’s eyes narrow on your ring.

Beside you, Aaron shifts, also uncomfortable with the scrutiny. You feel the slight tensing in his frame, so you ignore the gawking agents in front of you and reach for the hand on your back, linking your pinkies together. 

His eyes leave the shell-shocked team and rest on you, the frown between his brows giving way to a small smile. Terrible idea, he mouths, and a low laugh leaves your lips.

It’s perfectly clear now why he’d hidden this for so long. Despite them profiling every inch of you, they apparently hadn’t taken in the diamond sitting on your ring finger, currently wrapped around the handle of Aaron’s mug.

Emily is the first to snap her jaw shut. “I knew it!”

Her voice shatters the brief silence and JJ rolls her eyes, “Why’d you look so shocked then?” Her voice is dry as she raises a manicured brow.

Emily huffs, “Oh, come on, I didn’t expect them to be engaged, but I definitely said there was someone.” She insists. JJ wrinkles her nose. “Haven’t you noticed he’s been smiling a lot lately? No wonder.” She smiles triumphantly as she turns back to you and Aaron.

“You what?” A grin stretches across your face as you look at him, too. 

Aaron always has a smile on his face when he’s with you or Jack, holding hands at the park or just lounging around at home. You know he’s serious by nature, but that still doesn’t make it any harder for dimples to form in his cheeks as you draw laughs out of him easy as breathing. He cracks corny dad jokes and warms your cheeks with silky flirtations, his lips always eager to turn up into a smile whenever you’re together.

Apparently, that’s not the case at work.

Reid fiddles with his tie and addresses Aaron. “Ever since your divorce, you’ve smiled for an average of about three times per year, more if Jack was present in the office at a point in time. You started being noticeably less tense around two years ago, but in this past week I’ve counted at least fifteen smiles from you, usually when you’re in your office and you think no one’s looking—”

“Wow,” you laugh, a blazing heat in your cheeks at the thought of you making Aaron smile more. The fact that his team is so baffled by something you do so easily makes your heart flutter with irrational pride.

“Is he really that serious at work? He’s so smiley at home.” The tone of your voice is teasing and bright, painting an even stronger contrast between you and the man whose pinky is linked through yours.

“They don’t call me hardass for nothing.” Aaron grumbles, low enough that only you hear. You bite your lip to hold back a smile.

“Hotch?” Morgan raises his brows, his look of skepticism softened by a grin. “Smiley? Those two words do not go together.” He crosses his arms, Reid and Emily nodding in agreement. JJ’s small shrug says she doesn’t entirely disagree.

“They do if you see him out of work,” you squeeze Aaron’s pinkie, readying yourself to defend him when a thought pops up in your head like a lightbulb. “Hey, you guys should come to the wedding!” 

Their faces brighten, more than a few smug smirks stretching across lips. Aaron makes a sound low in his throat, but you ignore him.

Emily grins. “Oh, we would love to.”

[misted-dream]

BET YOU WANNA BE MINE ﹒⌗﹒🥀﹒౨ৎ˚₊‧ 재현 + fem!reader

in which . . . the last person you expected to show up in front of your door at midnight is jaehyun—your ex.

content&warnings | MDNI smut, profanity, mentions of dui, infidelity, angst bc exes, toxic themes (jaehyun is a red flag), oral f receiving, dirty talk, unprotected sex

word count | 3.2k

⋆.˚ . . . heavily inspired by roses by jaehyun of course

12:01AM

a knock sounds at your apartment door.

your tired feet shuffle slowly through the dimness of your living room, with the warm glow of the kitchen light spilling over.

a shadow bleeds through the gap beneath your door, blocking the hallway light in two different spots.

with the chain still attached, you twist the handle, opening the door only slightly.

you tilt your head, angling yourself to get a view of whoever’s standing on the opposite side.

…

without hesitation, you press your palm to the wooden surface, pushing on the door to shut it. hard.

“wait!” a voice calls from outside.

his voice calls from outside.

and you notice the door, in fact, isn’t shut when it should be by now; a shoe wedging in between the frame.

your body stills for a second, despite the alarms ringing in your head.

“is he here?” he asks, meekly.

for whatever reason, you decide to respond, “no.”

the ‘he’ in question is your current boyfriend, whom the ‘he’ outside your apartment right now knows enough about to render that question needlessly rhetorical. and useless.

you push harder on the door, trapping his foot tighter between the wooden board and its frame.

“can i just speak to you? 5 minutes,” he pleads, “5 minutes is all i need.”

you know him well enough that if you were to say ‘no’ to his bidding here, it’d be easy to assume he’d stay the night in the corridor outside—and then you’ll actually be fucked if your boyfriend saw him in that state tomorrow morning.

you roll your eyes, even though he can’t see you.

“move your goddamn foot.”

he does what you say; a part of him scared that you’re just gonna shut the door on him, but relief comes in the form of you standing there, the door swung open, and you looking straight at him.

“speak.”

he licks his bottom lip, glossing over it lightly. the bright lights overhead highlights his cheekbones, sculpting his face like a statue.

“yn…”

“jaehyun.”

this is the first time—first time in 7 months that you spoke his name aloud and not cursed him in the same breath.

he staggers a step behind him, and you instinctively reach out. upon realisation, you pull your arm back.

jaehyun clamps his eyes shut, his nose slightly scrunching up as if he’s recalling something particularly difficult to say. “i really—”

“are you drunk?” the sharpness in your voice shoots him awake with his eyes opened.

“no,” he replies firmly and adds a shake with his head, “no.”

you sigh. “how did you get here?”

“i have a car.”

“you fucking drove—are you insane?” despite every conscious effort to not get close to him, you find yourself tugging on his arm with your hand, pulling him inside before he has a chance to collapse on the floor. jaehyun shows absolutely zero signs of resistance to this.

the door slams shut behind you two.

“sit down,” you utter, more like a command than anything. “i’ll get you some water.”

jaehyun is drunk; there’s no denying it. but not drunk enough to not know how to navigate your apartment even in the dark. perhaps, he has your history to thank for that.

he sinks down into your couch with you shortly appearing next to him with a mug in your hands that you cup his fingers over.

“thanks,” he mutters softly, taking a sip of water.

“don’t think your 5 minutes doesn’t still stand,” you watch him pointedly. a sudden impatience ringing in his bones, jolting his posture upright.

jaehyun sets the mug down on the coffee table. eyes looking up at you as you stand over him.

he breathes out deeply.

he drops his gaze to the mug for a moment, looking as though he’s contemplating his words carefully. the slight hum of your fridge being the only thing you can hear, and suddenly it’s a thousand times louder than usual.

meeting your eyes again, he leans forward.

with every beat of silence that comes, a hammering picks up in your chest.

his lips part, and the words that follow fall heavily. "i think about you."

air is knocked out of your lungs momentarily. you feel your shoulders drop.

"i miss you," jaehyun's voice is like a needle. feeble, almost undetectable, and aiming straight for your heart.

the stabbing pain that you felt more than half a year ago when you and jaehyun broke up returns. your heart dropping straight to your stomach, sinking and stirring around in the acid.

you can only scoff.

"stop fucking around," your tone harsh and your voice coarse. you fold your arms across your chest, regarding him with slight contempt in your eyes.

"i'm not," jaehyun counters, "yn—"

"no," you sternly shut him down. "this isn't fair, you know it isn't fair."

you couldn’t stop the next words from coming out, a result of the long suppressed, built up anger and resentment you held towards your ex.

“you were the one who broke up with me, jaehyun.”

jaehyun only looks at your face. his brows softened, knitting together slightly as he studies the expression on it.

“i know,” he offers in the way of a comfort. arms reaching out to you and holding your wrists in his hands.

if it wasn’t for the overtly complex prism of emotions inside of you right now, there’d be more aversion to his touch. but his skin on yours feels so familiar. it feels right. so much so that you allow yourself to be pulled closer to him sitting there.

maybe less allow, and more just letting your body move to whatever stimulus in a catatonic state.

you’re standing in between his knees, looking down at him, and the urge to fall right back into your once favourite habits emerges from the pit of your stomach. but your mind is clear enough to keep to your discipline.

jaehyun picks one of your hands up to his lips. gently, he kisses the back of it; a gesture way too intimate but you can’t bring yourself to stop him.

“i fucked up,” his voice is low and steady as he brushes his thumb across your knuckles. “i know i did, and i shouldn’t have.”

he runs his other hand up your leg, soft like a feather caressing you. and suddenly, it’s like you’re brought back to reality—the fact that this is actually happening and you’re allowing it to.

“stop,” you pull your hand away from his grip, “it’s too late for apologies, jaehyun.”

when you were together, every time his name fell from your lips, it sounded sheepish, like he’s some high school crush that you’re afraid to utter the name of. and this time, it’s none different.

he settles his hand on top of your hips. “i’m sorry,” he voices completely disregarding what you just said.

you shake your head, “that doesn’t mean anything.” there was a time where you would’ve given anything to hear this from him. except now, as bitterness has steadily been building in you, you’d much rather have him beg and plead for your forgiveness instead.

“i miss you,” he says again. his glassy eyes telling of his desperation, which is only amplified by him pulling your waist closer.

you put your hands on his shoulders, holding yourself away as much as you can. “i have a boyfriend,” you throw out weakly, as if even you don’t believe it to be a strong enough argument against the case that is jung jaehyun.

“and i never should’ve let you get that chance. to be with him.”

all the anger and resentment you still felt towards jaehyun just a few moments ago seems to have dissipated. you relax your arms, your body moving in closer to his.

your eyelids flutter over jaehyun’s features. he’s always been handsome, but you don’t think you’ve ever seen him like this. under you, shadows casted on his face from your body, eyes dark with anticipation.

you fix your eyes on his, “i can’t do this to him.”

if you had known jaehyun would be coming, you wouldn’t have worn this particular pair of shorts. “i don’t care about him,” he says rubbing the bare back of your thigh with his palm.“this is about you. us.” jaehyun pulls your legs up onto the couch, sitting you on top of his knees.

his eyes glaze over you like honey, and memories of the two of you fill his mind. you have never been more beautiful than right now.

the tip of his thumb grazes the side of your cheeks, pushing your hair back. “tell me you don’t miss me, and i’ll leave.”

you stay in silence, completely enchanted with just a look from him that close to you.

“i thought so,” jaehyun admits lowly, like a whisper.

you can’t pinpoint where in the brief encounter tonight that jaehyun took control over the situation, but the thing is that he is certainly holding the reins.

he presses his lips on yours, gently at first, as if already savouring this moment for reminiscing later. as he feels you kissing him back, he pushes in deeper.

his hands slide your hips further down his lap. lips still interlocked, he kisses you like he’s a starved man and you’re his last meal.

he hums, mumbling against your lips, “i missed you so fucking much,” the vibrations sending a chill down your spine, “god.”

you catch a faint scent of his cologne, the one you bought for him ages ago.

“i need to taste you,” he pulls away from your mouth shortly, mumbling the words, “will you let me?” into you.

you peel yourself off of him, catching your breath and nodding. and if that wasn’t enough, you breathe out a shaky “yes.”

jaehyun picks your body up in his arms, laying you down on the couch with your head on top of the rest. you watch him hook his fingers into your waistband and pull your shorts down, an eagerness to his pace.

he looks up at your face through your legs, waiting for confirmation of any kind before he similarly pulls your panties down.

you give him a subtle nod, and the next second, your cunt is bare and exposed to him. instinctively, your knees press together, clamming your thighs shut.

“oh, baby,” he tuts, palms spreading your legs open for him again. “fuck,” he bites down on his lip, “i missed this pretty pussy.”

helplessly, you feel the heat underneath your skin bloom in your cheeks.

jaehyun runs the tip of his finger up your slit, letting out hums of satisfaction as he does so. you feel your back arch slightly just at the littlest of movements from him. you swear you catch a smirk from him before he starts sucking on your clit.

his tongue works up and down your cunt, covering it in a mixture of your own wetness and his spit. he moans against you, “i missed how you taste.”

your hands find their way into jaehyun’s hair, gripping tightly and trying to resist the urge to push him deeper into your cunt.

he laps his tongue over and over your clit, a finger dragging up and down your folds. he hums, “do you still like it like this, baby?” he pushes the tip of his finger inside of you, easing his way in from the slickness.

slowly, he drags his finger in and out of your cunt, swirling circles with his tongue on your clit at the same time. gently, he places his other palm over your lower abdomen, applying the slightest bit of pressure.

you can’t help your legs from squirming under him.

“oh, you do, don’t you?” his voice undoubtedly laced with an edge of cockiness. brash from the fact that he's convinced he still knows your body in ways that no one else does, not even your current boyfriend.

but you'd rather die than ever even consider affirming that.

you bite down hard on your bottom lip, keeping the whines you so desperately want to release inside.

jaehyun keeps lapping his tongue over your cunt tirelessly, pumping his finger smoothly into you. then, without warning, adding another digit, and another.

despite your best efforts, a small cry escapes you. nails digging deep into jaehyun’s shoulders as you feel yourself stretched out on his fingers.

“fuck, jae,” you feel him purr at your nickname for him

“yes, baby?”

you feel the tightening in your stomach, your legs threatening to squeeze shut. “i’m close,” you faintly manage in between soft whimpers.

“do it,” jaehyun murmurs, his voice muffled against you, “i need to see you cum again.” his fingers quicken their pace, “please. cum on my face, baby.”

you fight the urge to not give him what he wants, but truly, he’s too good at making you feel good. his palm presses a little harder on your stomach, tipping you that little bit over the edge as the pressure releases on his fingers. a blinding wave of dopamine flashes across your eyes, your walls clenched tightly around his fingers so much so that jaehyun struggles to move his hand.

jaehyun mutters as he watches you; eyes shut tight, back arched, and hands holding his face in place as you ride your orgasm out on him.

“mhm, that’s it baby,” he mumbles as you slowly come down from your high. “good girl,” he smirks before pressing a final kiss on your clit.

he crawls over your body, caging you inside his arms with his hands on either side of your shoulders.

your eyelids feel heavy, drooping low as you watch jaehyun push your hair away from your face. “you’re still the prettiest when you cum,” he smiles cheekily.

you barely manage to breathe out a breathy, “shut up,” causing him to chuckle over you.

“don’t believe me?”

jaehyun takes one of your wrists, pulling your hand down to palm the front of his jeans.

“you don’t even have to do anything—that’s how fucking hard you make me.”

you look down at your hand cupping over his bulge. then, back up into his eyes, fingers unbuttoning the top of his jeans. “what are you gonna do about it then?”

jaehyun laughs an unamused laugh, and you know too well what that means.

“baby, baby,” he gently shakes his head. “you’re going to regret saying that.” he unzips the zipper, pulling his boxers down until his cock springs up free from its confines.

the tip of it swelling red, precum leaking little by little at a time.

you feel your body tremble at the sight of his dick, even after all this time. the first time you had sex with jaehyun, you couldn’t walk straight the next morning.

he wraps his hand around his shaft, pointing its head directly at your cunt. slowly, he spreads his precum all over your slit—still sensitive from your orgasm. he drags his tip over your entrance, teasing you and enjoying every second of it.

your body writhes at this fleeting touch, the need to be filled up with his dick chipping away at your dignity.

“you want this cock, baby?” jaehyun brushes your cheek with his thumb, like he’s wiping away tears. “i’ll give it to you.”

he steadies himself with his palms firmly planted on the armrest.

then, in one swift motion, he thrusts his hips into you, the entirety of his length disappearing inside you. the sudden shock of it making you scream out.

"what the fuck?" you curse him with your head thrown back.

jaehyun only smirks before pounding into you again, harder this time, eliciting a groan of his own. "i missed how good you feel, fuck."

your fingers attempt to grapple onto anything within reach, but come up short. one of your arms swing itself over jaehyun's neck, drawing your bodies closer as he thrusts again.

the sheer size of him inside you makes you feel like you're being split open. you moan out his name, his hips bucking inside of you as a response.

"i forgot how well you take my dick," his arm buckles slightly under his weight, "isn't that right, baby?" jaehyun begins to build a rhythm with his thrusts, pumping deep inside you every time.

he leans down, connecting your lips together softly, "you're made for me."

his thrusts grows harder, ramming himself into you with the tip of his cock hitting the back of your womb every time. you're sure that it will probably bruise by tomorrow.

the filthy noise of his skin slapping onto yours echo in your ears, mixing in with his gravelly moans. "he can't fuck you like this, can he?" jaehyun spits.

your hand goes up to cover your own mouth, not wanting to let the almost pornographic noises out of you. this only causes jaehyun to pull it away, pinning your wrist to the couch.

"oh, i know, baby. he can't fuck you like i do."

it doesn't take much before you can feel yourself nearing another orgasm. so close, it's practically within reach.

"jaehyun..." you moan weakly.

"you're gonna cum again for me, huh?" he hisses, "how long has it been since he's fucked you properly? cumming twice for me first time i see you again?"

all you can focus on is your incoming orgasm. back arching into his chest, your hand struggling to break free from his hold.

"please," you plead, tears pooling in the corner of your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure.

"you want me to rub your clit, don't you?" jaehyun mutters in between hitches in his breath.

you nod, your body verging on begging him for it.

a knowing smirk plays on his lips. "tell me you're mine."

you let out a whine, frustrated that you can't free your hand to do it yourself.

"do it," he orders, "you want to cum? say you're mine."

"fuck," you pant, struggling to keep a steady breath. your mind hazy with overwhelming carnal pleasure, "fuck, i'm fucking yours. i'm yours."

"now, how hard was that?" jaehyun grins before snaking a hand down to rub circles on your sensitive nub.

within seconds, you feel your orgasm unravel itself on jaehyun's dick, walls closing in tight around him.

feeling you tightening around his cock, jaehyun buries his face in the crook of your neck. your hand holds onto his back, nails sinking into the muscle across his shoulder blades. you hear his muffled moans into your skin as he cums, releasing his load inside you and filling you up full with his cum.

curses slip past his lips as the two of you catch your breath, jaehyun still stuffed inside you.

the ringing from your orgasm begins to quiet down, and you give jaehyun a couple of taps on the shoulder. gently, he pulls himself out, and the sudden absence leaves your body aching for it again.

his body collapses next to you on the couch.

"fuck," he mutters under his breath.

"that was fucking stupid," you confess out loud, now that your head isn't clouded by pure animal instinct.

to your surprise, jaehyun agrees. "yeah," his chest rising and falling rapidly.

he shifts his weight onto his elbow, propping himself up. "but what are we if not stupid?" jaehyun leans in, pecking your lips quickly and then doing it again. a stupid, stupid grin on his face that you'd be lying if you said you didn't miss.

[sttoru]

‘toji doesn’t know how to properly give aftercare — nor did he care to do so before. but, meeting you changed his ways of thinking.’

☀︎｜toji fushiguro x female reader. suggestive; fluff, comfort, angst. established relationship. hint of an age gap between toji and reader. mention of virgin!reader. mention of toji’s previous / past wife. grumpy sad dilf toji who learns how to love again t_t. reader gets called ‘doll, little girl’. self indulgent? yessir.

toji grunts and his exhausted body collapses to the side, careful not to crush you underneath his burly figure. he drapes one arm over his eyes with the other resting near his side. his eyelids felt heavy — clearly needing some rest after hours of continuous bodily satisfaction.

he had gone a bit overboard this once. even toji himself was feeling the aftermath since his muscles were aching and his brain was telling him to go to sleep. the assassin was about to, however his ears picked up on a little muffled whimper sounding from beside him.

“mmph,” you sniff. your face was still buried in the pillow below you — your tears and drool staining the material. your limbs were trembling and you were completely and utterly spent. you couldn’t even turn around to lay on your back; it was all just too much.

toji watches you with an unchanging expression for a second. normally for him this would be the part where he’d get the money, dress himself back up and leave through the front door with a small ‘thanks for your time’ comment.

but, that was his past. that was after the death of his wife and before he had met you — that was a dark time where he sought money in any kind of way to ease the hidden guilt and pain in his body. he’d sleep with women for a pay check. and maybe also to simply forget about his miserable life.

toji thought that he wouldn’t ever love himself nor another person again after his life went downhill. though, that thought was proven wrong by you.

you were a girl whom he had met on numerous occasions by accident to the point you decided to exchange phone numbers. you had also eventually started to help toji with his son - megumi - during tough times.

a sweet young woman: that’s what you were and still are in his eyes. maybe you were the change toji needed. the miracle to heal from his past and get himself together.

“hey,” the dark-haired man speaks up in a gruff tone after taking in your weak state. he felt a faint twinge of guilt deep within him since he was the reason you ended up like that. perhaps he took it too far.

you looked up at toji through half-closed and watery eyes. all you could do was tiredly hum in response, “mhm?”

silence follows. it’s not really awkward, but there was a barely noticeable sense of insecurity radiating from the assassin. for the first time in a good while.

toji’s eyes dart around the room in hopes of finding or seeing something that would remind him of what to do in such a situation. aftercare; he knew how important that is after sex, but had forgotten how to properly execute it. he hadn’t done so in a good few years.

that could also be an excuse. maybe he was simply afraid to show any kind of affection to someone again. maybe.

despite all of it — despite all those complex thoughts and feelings — his body moved on its own command. toji shifted closer to your side, rough hand slowly reaching out to give you some head pats. that’s the best he could do for now.

“heh.” you chuckle, yet felt extremely happy that toji had shown any type of affection toward you in such a vulnerable moment. his fingers massaging your scalp gently, over and over, was enough of a sign for you. a sign that he cares.

you knew all about his hard life; past and present. you accepted toji for who he was and what he has done and does. one of the only people who’d stay by his side throughout it all.

“thanks, toji.” the words that left your lips made the older man silently nod. his touch grew a bit more confident after your positive reaction. his hand traveled down to the nape of your neck and over to your shoulder, turning you around so you could lay comfortably on your back.

toji couldn’t help but let his eyes wander across your gorgeous skin. even if it was sweaty and covered in other bodily fluids, it still was one of the most beautiful sights he had seen in his entire life.

“you okay?” he asks to which you give a weary nod. she’s far from okay judging by the looks of it, toji thought to himself.

he hesitantly leans his head down to plant a quick kiss on your shoulder. that did feel a bit awkward, though it turned loving the more you positively reinforced him with your verbal reactions.

toji sighs as he tries his best to keep you as comfortable as possible around him. his hands grab you by your sides and he hoists you up onto his lap, gently pushing your head against his chest; “c’mere my little girl.”

you happily accept the affection toji gives you. it wasn’t often that he’d do this after sex and you understand why. it takes a lot to heal from his previous wounds and you were there to support him throughout that journey. the fact that he was trying was enough.

“you’re nice ‘n warm,” you murmur, eyes droopy as you snuggle against toji’s bare chest. the older man chuckles at your comment and his big hands come to rest on your back to hold you in place — to give you a sense of security.

you didn’t have any regrets about tonight nor about any other night spent in bed with him. toji was the only man whom you were content with showing your body to. he’d never judge nor hurt you in any way, unlike the other more immature men in your indirect environment.

plus, you remember how unexpectedly gentle the big and scary looking man was with you during your first time a few days back. he was the perfect man for you in your eyes—in his own way.

“y’r real pretty. like a doll.”

the sudden compliment forces you awake. you blink thrice, trying to make sense of what you had heard. was it your imagination? no, it definitely sounded like toji. that deep and now almost groggy voice.

you lift your head up and lock eyes with the assassin. he was looking right back at you whilst the pad of his thumb delicately wipes some drool off your right cheek. you quietly stared at him for a good while which makes toji raise an eyebrow in confusion.

“pfft.” you let out a short laugh. you were both embarrassed and amused at the loving words that the older man had told you out of the blue. it made you feel tingly all over in a good way.

“what? did i say somethin’ weird?” toji questions as his hands slowly roam all over your body like they usually would, squeezing and rubbing longer in some spots, “i jus’ said what i observed.”

there was no hiding that lopsided grin on toji’s lips. the soft sound of your laughter was enough to make his entire body relax and give in to the warmth of the moment and the love that radiates between you two. you really were meant to be with him.

“no, no.” you shake your head after giggling. your lips find a spot on his chest to place a kiss upon in response, “it was cute.”

toji huffs at being called cute. no one had ever called him that. it didn’t really hurt his pride or ego — you could call him anything you wanted to and he wouldn’t mind. his rough hand does however give you a light smack on the ass after that.

“y’re lucky i love you, doll.” he grumbles and nuzzles his nose into your hair. the words left his lips before his brain had processed them. it was probably said subconsciously since toji doesn’t realise that he uttered the three words. the three words he usually hesitates on saying now flowing off the tongue so naturally.

you weren’t going to ruin the moment by teasing him about it. you were just happy that toji didn’t think twice before telling you that he loved you this time. it was a huge step forward in your relationship.

you simply giggle some more before placing a kiss on his lips that he instantly reciprocates.

“i love you too, toji.”

[jksarchives]

BY YOUR SIDE

PAIRING; jungkook x reader

GENRE; f2l, fwb, angst, fluff

TAGS/WARNINGS; friends with benefits, best friends to lovers, domestic violence (not by jk), oc has panic attacks, violence, blood, injuries, hurt/comfort, fluff, implied smut, lots of crying, jk is very protective of oc

WORD COUNT; 7.9k

𝘛𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘬 𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘱𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯! 𝘈𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘺 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘣𝘵𝘴 𝘮𝘦𝘮𝘣𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯𝘵𝘴 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘱𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘦𝘭𝘺 𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘢𝘭 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘪𝘯 𝘯𝘰 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘱𝘰𝘳𝘵𝘳𝘢𝘺𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮 𝘪𝘯 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘭𝘪𝘧𝘦!l

SYNOPSIS;

The question is, when do the lines blur between love and friendship?

𐚁₊⊹

The rain fell cold and heavily, the city painted in shades of silver and black. Streetlights flickered weakly, with their light barely visible through the rain. The night was filled with the sound of raindrops splattering against the concrete, mixed with unsettling rumbles of distant thunder.

You walked alone through the deserted streets at a slow pace, your steps heavy and staggering. Your shoes were soaked through, and they made soft, wet thuds with every movement, as if they were too tired to lift you any longer.

Tears streamed down your face, but they were indistinguishable from the rain that soaked your pale skin. They fell silently, lost in the deluge, as though the sky wept with you. Your breaths were shallow, with uneven gasps, the kind that follow after too much crying and not enough sleep.

The world around you was a blur, the cityscape fading into a mass of blackness cut through by neon signs and faint headlights far in the distance. Cars passed by occasionally, their drivers unaware of your lone figure travelling through the storm.

You were invisible in the rain, a shadow that slipped between those gaps of the night. Your hands hung loosely at your sides, your fingers trembling from the cold or possibly from intern distress.

Every so often, you paused, your body swaying slightly as though on the edge of collapse. But then you would begin again, dragging yourself forward, one step at a time, with no clear direction, no place to go. There was only the movement, the motion of walking that somehow seemed easier than standing still and feeling everything.

But it was comfort that you really sought. It was what you needed right now more than anything.

And so, you let your feet do the walking. Then soon, you found yourself standing before a familiar house, a place that held endless memories of laughter — and intimacy. You summoned the courage to ring the doorbell, your heart pounding in your chest.

The door soon creaked open, and you were met by the face of a man you had known for years — your best friend. Or someone more.

You didn’t know anymore. You’d been through so much together, shared countless moments — some joyful, some painful. Somewhere along the way, things had gotten messy. Emotions had blurred lines, but neither had the courage to define what they were. He wasn’t just your friend, but also wasn’t fully yours. That space between was confusing, painful. You didn’t know how to label what you had, and maybe that’s what scared you most of all.

“Y/n?” he frowned. There he stood, shirtless, his hair wet with droplets cascading down his defined abs. His eyes widened in surprise and concern looking at your distraught state.

“Jungkook” your voice trembled as you felt yourself choking up. Without hesitation, he quickly grabbed your hand and pulled you inside, closing the door behind him.

He cupped your tear-streaked face in his hands, his touch warm, gentle and reassuring. His worried and curious eyes met yours, “what’s wrong?” he asked, his voice a soft murmur.

Your lips trembled as you tried to find the words to express the storm raging inside you, the turmoil that had driven you to seek comfort at his doorstep. In the dim light of the entryway, his gaze fell upon a faint bruise marred against your skin. His heart clenched, a mixture of anger and worry welling up within him. His fingers brushed over the discolored mark with the utmost tenderness, but you winced in pain, causing him to retract his hand immediately.

“Y/n, who did this?” he asked, his voice firm.

The question hung in the air heavily. You bit your trembling lip, desperately trying to hold back the tears threatening to spill. You turned your head to the side, avoiding his intense gaze that was burning through your soul. Jungkook’s jaw clenched, a mixture of frustration and unease crossing his features.

Turning your head back to face him, he stared at you, searching for answers in your eyes. But all he found was a painful vulnerability that tore at his heart.

“I asked you a question damnit! Who did this to you?” he repeated, feeling his blood boil at the thought of someone hurting you.

In actuality, he knew who was hurting. He just wanted you to say the name knowing you’d do and say anything but his name.

And then, as if the dam within her had crumbled, you broke.

Your loud raw and unrestrained cries erupted into the quiet atmosphere as you crashed into her bare chest. His heart ached witnessing your anguish. He held you close with his strong arms wrapped around your vulnerable form, offering his comfort and support.

“Tell me” he persisted with a gentle tone, but all you did was cry, your shoulders shuddering at each sob. So he waited patiently as he held you close in his arms.

“No matter what I do or how much I try, I can never escape him Jungkook. I’m just done with everything, I’m tired. I don’t want to live like this anymore, it hurts” you cried.

Jungkook’s anger ignited like a storm within him, fueled by a protective instinct that couldn't be contained. His fists clenched involuntarily, his voice now a low, simmering growl.

“That bastard, I swear to god I’m going to fucking kill him when I get a hold of him” he said through gritted teeth.

“I just want to escape” you whimpered, hugging his waist tighter.

“And I’m going to get you out this time, no matter what” he promises, pulling away and staring into your eyes with determination.

“But how? You know how he is. He has power, money and strength that you know you can’t fight against” you questioned weakly.

“Do you trust me?” he asked, “more than anyone” you whispered an answer.

“Then let me handle this” he said, “but I’m scared he’s going to hurt you, and I don’t want anything to happen to you Jungkook” your worried eyes looked into his dark ones.

“Just trust me this once. I’m not letting that motherfucker hurt you ever again, I promise you” he said with seriousness.

You were quiet, feeling hesitant, but you were desperate to escape the toxic bubble you were trapped in. Sniffling, you gave him a nod, “I trust you” you told him.

In the moment of vulnerability, your gazes remained locked, and Jungkook found himself slowly leaning in, aching to kiss you. The air was thick with silent and unsaid emotions, and you felt his breath fan against your lips.

But he held himself back.

The bond you both shared was complicated. It was more than just friendship — you both somehow wanted to venture into the realm of lust and pleasure with no strings attached.

Yet, in this moment of vulnerability, he resisted crossing the boundaries you had both set. He was determined to be there for you in a way that transcended physical desires. A bittersweet smile curving up his lips as his fingers brushed against your cheek.

“You’re cold and wet, you should go shower. I still have your clothes here, I’ll get them for you, hmm?” he suggested.

“Hmm” you responded with a weak smile, and followed him upstairs with your hand intertwined with his.

Reaching his bedroom, he went to his wardrobe while you began to strip from your overgarments, leaving you in your black lace underwear and black cami top. You stood there with your shoulders slumped, tired and defeated.

“Jungkook?” you called out to your best friend, “hmm?” he responded, turning around with your clothes in his hands.

“Do you think I’m worthy enough to be loved and be happy like how they show it in the movies?” you asked, your voice small and cracked as tears accumulated in your eyes.

Jungkook’s heart sank at your question. Placing your clothes on the side of the bed, he approached you and pulled you into a tight comforting hug.

“You’re worthy of everything Y/n, who said you’re not?” he questioned.

“Every time I put my love and trust in someone, they always end up hurting me, like I was some easy game for them. Why? Am I doing something wrong? Don’t I deserve to be happy like everyone else?” you whimpered.

Jungkook couldn’t help but feel his heart sink deeper and deeper at your words, “no Y/n, you’re not doing anything wrong” he said.

“Then why? Why is he hurting me like this? He promised to take care of me, to love me, to always be there for me. Yet, he turned out to be the same monster he promised to protect me from” you silently cried.

“Sometimes monsters hide in sheep's skin. It’s not your fault for not seeing it. He had me fooled too, until when you told me about him slapping you. In fact, he has everyone fooled. And if you hadn’t stopped me that day and the other times he hurt you, I swear to god that bastard would’ve been dead by now” his gritted his teeth.

But then his eyes softened when he turned his attention back on you, “but please, please don’t blame yourself” he said.

“You deserve another chance. You deserve to be happy” he added, pulling away and looking into your eyes.

And there it was again, the urge to kiss you was overwhelming, like an irresistible force pulling him closer to you. As your breaths gradually synchronised, an electric tension hung in the air, a silent acknowledgment of something deeper between you.

Jungkook felt your fingers tremble against his back, and he could sense you yearning, aching for something more than just a friend's touch. Your heart and mind became one, both craving for one thing.

You wanted him. You needed him.

And slowly, you felt yourself leaning in. But for a moment you stopped, and he could feel your hot trembling breaths brush over his lips. He felt your hold around his torso tighten, and before he knew it, he felt your lips smash against his. You pushed him on the bed and hovered over him, kissing him hard.

For a moment he was caught off guard as he instinctively held your waist to support you, but soon succumbed to the overwhelming desire as he fluttered his eyes closed.

He kissed you back with the equal force and desire, his arms wrapping around your petite form as you melted into each other's warmth. The connection deepened as your lips moved in sync with his, a blend of comfort and yearning intertwining. Jungkook’s initial restraint gave way to the intensity of the moment, as he found himself exploring every inch of your lips.

The world outside faded away, leaving only your heartbeats echoing in the stillness. In that moment, the boundaries of your friendship blurred, and your feelings for each other were exposed — yet neither of you wanted to admit it.

Lost in the moment, your hands then slowly began to trail down to his crotch. Jungkook let out a deep groan against your lips, feeling a light squeeze around his clothed cock. “F-Fuck” he shakily swore under his breath as he then felt your hands slip inside his shorts.

However, he snapped back to his consciousness realising what was happening. His eyes shot open, and he grasped your hand to stop you from going any further. Feeling his lips detached from your, you let out a soft whimper.

“Y/n, stop” he cut in, his voice low and hoarse, and took your hand out of his shorts. “This isn’t right, we shouldn’t be doing this right now” he said.

“Why? I need you Jungkook. I want you to fuck me senseless and make me forget everything about today” you whimpered, leaning in closer to kiss him.

But Jungkook held you back shaking his head, and he flipped you over so that he was hovering over you. “You have me Y/n, and I’m not going anywhere. I’ll always be here for you. But you’re not okay right now, and I don’t want to take advantage of your vulnerability” he said.

You sighed in defeat, and slowly broke down into tears all over again. Your cries tore his heart apart, and he wished he could tell you how he truly felt about you.

He longed to wipe away not only your tears but all the sadness in your life — not as a best friend, but as someone who would take any risks to protect the woman he loved. He wanted to hold you closer, to whisper that he loved you more than words could convey, but fear gripped him. The fear of losing the beautiful bond you both shared, the fear of being rejected, and the fear of forever altering your relationship held him back.

As your cries grew loud and hysterical, Jungkook’s heart began to race in panic. His breaths were becoming short and ragged, and his eyes began to pool with tears.

“Hey, look at me” he said, cupping your face in his hands.

“Calm down, I’m here okay?” he tried to comfort you, but you continued to cry, your face turning red as you struggled to breathe in between.

Jungkook felt like his heart was going to rip out of his chest. He felt his throat tighten, trying to control his own tears that threatened to spill.

“Please don’t cry baby, it fucking hurts me” his voice cracked as he brought your face closer to his. Your tearful sobs echoed through the walls of his tiny home, your body trembling with each hiccuping breath.

“P-Please help me, please. Take me somewhere far away, somewhere where I don’t have to see him ever again. I’m scared Jungkook. I’m so fucking scared. Please, make me forget everything about him and all the pain he has inflicted. P-Please” you cried to him.

Jungkook’s eyes widened slightly at your panicked outburst, and gently shook you with your face still cupped in his hands. “B-Baby, baby, hey look at me” he grabbed your face, gently shaking you, and you slowly fluttered your eyes open to finally look at him through your blurry vision.

“Breathe for me baby, it’s okay. Just focus on me. You’re okay, everything’s going to be okay. I’m right here, I’m not going to let anyone hurt you again. I promise you” he said, his heart anxiously hammering inside his chest.

He wiped away your tears with his thumbs, caressing your bruised cheek with tender care, and you onto him as if he were your lifeline. Your breaths came in ragged gasps, and he spoke soothing words, trying to calm the storm inside you.

“Everything’s going to be okay, I promise” he whispered, leaning in to press his forehead against yours.

Slowly, your cries began to subside, replaced by hiccups and sniffles. Jungkook continued to hold you, his heartache mingling with relief that he could offer you some comfort in this moment of vulnerability. His eyes never left yours, and with his hot minty breath fanning over your lips, the storm within you slowly began to fade. You reached your trembling hands to touch his face, your cold fingers slowly tracing along his damp cheeks.

He was crying.

Grabbed the back of his neck, you pulled him in closer and pressed your trembling lips against his plump ones.

The kiss was different from the ones you both shared before. It was slow, tender, and filled with a depth of emotion that words could never convey. It was a kiss that spoke of longing, of hidden feelings finally being acknowledged. Your lips moved together in perfect harmony, a silent confession of their own. And it was as if your souls had finally found each other in that moment, and everything made sense.

As you both pulled away, your foreheads gently touching, you could feel your heart pounding, both breathless. You knew that things had changed between you two. It wasn't just about being friends with benefits anymore; it was about exploring the possibility of something deeper and more meaningful.

“I love you” you muttered against his lips as you wiped away his tears.

It was as if your words held an earth shattering weight to them, Jungkook’s eyes widened, feeling his heart swell as he tried to process your words.

“W-What?” looked at you, “say that a-again?” he stuttered.

“I love you Jungkook, maybe more than a friend, I always have. I wish I had told you earlier” you repeated with a small smile on your face.

Jungkook felt his eyes water, a soft chuckle escaping his mouth, “and what if I tell you I love you too?” he asked.

“I know” you answered, which took him by surprise.

“You knew?” he raised his brow, “the way you act, the things you say, the things you do for me, you’d never do it for anyone else. It was obvious” you said, caressing his cheeks.

Jungkook smiled shyly, snuggling his face in the crook of your neck, “I’d do anything for you” he said.

“You don’t know how happy and relieved I am, I thought you wouldn’t love me back” he then said, his tone changing. Feeling a rug in your heart, you wrapped your arms around his bare torso.

“After everything we’ve been through and everything you have done for me, how can I not?” you responded, placing a soft kiss on his shoulder.

Pulling away, Jungkook stared at you with love shining in his eyes. For a moment there was silence as you both stared into each other’s eyes.

“I love you Y/n. I love you so fucking much. If there’s anything I need in this world, it’s you. I want to be with you, protect you, start a family together and build our own little world. And I promise you I will kill any bastards who hurt you, especially him” he said with determination in his voice.

Your gaze was soft and your smile was gentle as an angel as you continued caressing his cheek. “You love me?” you asked, “so much” he answered.

“How much do you love me?” you then asked, “more than anything in this world — more than my life” he answered without hesitation. You felt your eyes water at his answer, heart growing heavy with emotions.

“Then show me. Show me how much you love me” you said.

And the next thing you knew, he stripped you bare, trapping you under his naked body as he explored every inch of you. It wasn't a moment of lust and desire between you, but rather an act of promising love. And it was at that moment you knew this man was going to cherish you forever, and you trusted him with everything you had.

━━━━━━━━━━

▍TWO DAYS LATER

It was nine in the morning, the sun's gentle rays began to seep through the curtains while you and Jungkook lay entwined in a peaceful slumber.

But that tranquility was soon shattered. Suddenly, a series of loud, thunderous bangs echoed through the house, vibrating like a gunshot in the quiet dawn.

Startled, your eyes snapped open, your heart racing in fear. Instinctively, you wrapped your arms around Jungkook’s muscular torso, snuggling yourselves deeper into his embrace.

‘It’s him. It’s him!’ your mind screamed as you began breathing heavily. Soon you felt Jungkook stirring from his slumber as he slowly blinked away his sleep, and quickly registered the panic in your eyes.

“What happened?” he asked, his voice groggy yet concerned as he sat up.

You sat up and held his arm, and you couldn’t even respond as the banging persisted, growing even louder than before. Frowning, Jungkook threw the blanket to the side and rose to his feet.

“Who the hell is banging on the door at this hour?” he muttered under his breath with a hint of annoyance.

However, before he could walk off, you quickly moved to grab his hand to stop him, your wide eyes pleading with him to stay put. You shook your head slightly, a mix of fear and caution written across your features.

Jungkook looked down at you in confusion, “what’s wrong?” he asked. “Don’t open the door, please. What if it’s him?” you whispered urgently, your voice quivering in fear.

Jungkook’s eyes softened, feeling his heart ache seeing how fear was consuming you. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to let him do anything” he reassured, reaching his hand out to caress your cheek.

“But what if he hurts you?” you questioned as you desperately clutched onto his hand.

“His height might be an advantage to him, but he’s nothing compared to me. Trust me babe, I’ll be fine, don’t worry” he said with a warm smile.

But despite his reassurance, your heart still felt uneasy. You trusted him a lot, but that man was unpredictable, and you could never guess what his next move might be.

“You stay here, okay? Don’t come out” he instructed, and you nodded.

“Be careful” you told him, “I will” he said before slipping out of your grip and leaving the room.

The relentless knocking continued as he reached downstairs, now accompanied by muffled shouts and threats. Jungkook’s jaw clenched as he approached the door, his hand hesitating on the door handle. He knew it was him.

He took a deep breath, his senses heightened as he prepared for whatever that might come ahead. He gripped the door handle and uncooked the door. Almost instantly the door swung open, and before he could react, a brutal force struck him square in the chest. The impact sent him flying backward, crashing onto the hardwood floor with a loud thud.

Pain exploded through his body, and the world momentarily blurred as he struggled to catch his breath. And as his vision cleared, he saw a menacing figure towering over him — and he knew very well who it was.

Jungkook struggled to his feet, his chest throbbing from the impact. But he held his ground, his fierce eyes locked onto your boyfriend. Well, ex-boyfriend.

“Where is she?” his deep devilish voice demanded with his jaw clenched.

“That is none of your business anymore Minseok” Jungkook growled.

Hearing that, Minseok’s rage intensified. He lunged forward, grabbing the shorter man by the collar of his shirt and pinning him against the nearest wall.

His grip was tight, and his voice dripped with venom as he repeated his demand, “fucking tell me where she is you bastard!” he screamed.

The tension in the room reached its breaking point, and Jungkook’s patience snapped, pushing him to his limits. Summoning every ounce of strength, he pushed against the other man’s hold, breaking free from his grasp.

Before Minseok could react, Jungkook’s fist connected with his jaw in a swift and powerful punch. Gasping for breath, he stood his ground with his hands curled up into fists in defense.

“Or what?” he challenged as he glared at the man who looked taken back by the hit. But his gaze hardened once again as he regained his composure, and took a few steps towards the shorter male.

“Oh you wouldn’t want to go down there Jeon, you’ll regret it” Minseok warned with a smirk.

Jungkook scoffed, “what are you going to do? Have someone else fight for you as always?” he questioned.

“You’re nothing without your money and power Minseok, and that is what truly makes you a coward” he said, raising his hand and pressing his index finger on the other male’s chest.

Minseok was a man of wealth and status, admired in social circles for his success in the finance world. He owned a renowned finance company, and his reputation as a gentleman followed him wherever he went. Polished, charming, and always impeccably dressed, Minseok had a way of making people feel important in his presence. When you first met him, it seemed like you had found your prince — a man who showered you with love, respect, and attention.

He was everything you could hope for in a partner — or at least that was what he made you believe.

In the beginning, your relationship felt like a dream. Minseok was always thoughtful, planning special dates, surprising you with gifts, and making you feel cherished.

To the outside world, he was the ideal boyfriend, and you were often the envy of your friends. Jungkook too. You couldn't help but be captivated by his charm. He spoke with such kindness, always knowing the right thing to say, especially when it came to your feelings. He made you feel safe, like you could trust him with anything.

Oh how badly you wished you knew everything before.

But as your relationship progressed, subtle cracks began to show — things you had ignored in the haze of infatuation. Minseok had a way of steering conversations back to his needs, his successes, his frustrations, though he cloaked it all in gentleness.

A year into your relationship, he expressed his desire to take things to the next level — intimacy — but you weren’t ready. You loved him, yes, but something inside you hesitated. When you told him you needed more time, he seemed to understand at first. He reassured you, saying all the right things like “I respect your boundaries”.

The second time he brought it up, you felt a little more pressure, but Minseok still kept his composure. However, by the third time, something inside him snapped.

It started with a subtle shift — his eyes narrowing, his voice becoming clipped and tense. You had said, once again, that you weren’t ready, expecting the same understanding response. But instead, Minseok exploded. His face contorted with anger, and he yelled at you, demanding to know why you didn’t trust him. The gentleness that had once defined him vanished, replaced by a cold, aggressive fury.

You were bewildered and terrified. You had never seen him act in such a way, and it left you feeling confused and guilty, as though you somehow caused his outburst.

You convinced yourself it was just a one-time thing — stress from work, maybe. But it wasn’t. The more you pushed back on his demands, the angrier he became. It escalated quickly, and one evening, during another argument, Minseok’s anger turned violent. In a blind fit of rage, he raised his hand and struck you across the cheek.

The moment his hand met your skin, time seemed to stop. You stood frozen in shock, your mind unable to comprehend what had just happened. This was the man who had once showered you with love, the man who made you feel safe. And you always wondered: how could he be the same person who was now causing you pain?

Traumatised and deeply shaken, you didn’t know who to turn to. You kept the incident to yourself, unable to fully process the fact that the man you thought you knew was capable of such violence.

You avoided Jungkook for a week after the incident, afraid that telling him would make everything real. But as the weeks went by, Minseok’s abuse became more frequent, and his once-charming demeanor dissolved completely.

He became a stranger — cruel, controlling, and unpredictable. Each time he hurt you, it was as though the Minseok you had fallen in love with ceased to exist, replaced by someone monstrous.

Or maybe that was who he truly was, and the image everyone had of him was just a facade.

Eventually, the burden became too heavy to bear. You opened up to Jungkook, who had noticed the subtle changes in your behavior long before you even said anything to him. He had seen the fear in your eyes, the way you flinched at sudden movements, and the forced smiles that no longer reached your eyes.

When you finally told him about the abuse, Jungkook was horrified. He had always suspected something was wrong, but hearing the truth from your own mouth shattered the image he had of Minseok.

Jungkook was furious. He wanted to confront Minseok, to make him pay for everything he had put you through. His hands clenched into fists as he ranted about how no man had the right to treat you that way. He was ready to beat him up without hesitation.

But you stopped him.

Though terrified and hurt, you weren't ready for that kind of confrontation. You knew Minseok too well — his temper, his influence, and how easily he could manipulate people. You didn’t want violence to be met with more violence. Confronting him could make things worse, not just for you, but for Jungkook too.

It took everything in you to convince Jungkook to hold back, to stop him from going after Minseok. He protested, his anger still boiling over, but eventually, he agreed. He wouldn’t act on his rage, at least not yet.

Jungkook then tried to convince you to break up with him. But you couldn’t. It wasn’t that easy. Breaking up with him wasn’t as simple as walking away. There would be consequences, and the uncertainty of those consequences kept you paralysed.

You saw the dark side of Minseok, and the thought of leaving him terrified you. You didn’t know what he was capable of if you did try. Every time you imagined the conversation where you told him it was over, your mind filled with dread. What if he hurt you worse?

So, for five more months, you stayed. You endured the abuse, hiding your bruises and your pain, putting on a brave face in public while Minseok continued to control your life.

But now, you were tired. You were tired of constantly running when you knew there was someone who you could lean on — Jungkook. Every time Minseok lashed out, you found yourself retreating into Jungkook’s arms, needing him in ways you had never needed anyone before.

But somewhere along the way, the line between friendship and something more began to blur. What started as simple comfort, a place to escape the pain Minseok inflicted, shifted. The way Jungkook’s arms felt around you lingered in your mind long after you both parted. The warmth of his touch, once so innocent, began to stir something deeper in you. You found yourself longing for those moments, not just for the comfort but for the connection you felt with him.

One night, after yet another moment of abuse, you found yourself at Jungkook’s doorstep, broken and vulnerable. As usual, Jungkook welcomed you in, no questions asked.

But that night felt different. The weight of all the pain, all the confusion, all the emotions you had been bottling up, came crashing down. And in that moment, when Jungkook pulled you into his arms, something altered. The hug lingered a little longer, his hands gentle as they wiped away your tears. Without thinking, you leaned in, and Jungkook didn’t pull away.

The kiss was soft at first, tentative, as if both of you were unsure of what was happening. But the unspoken feelings you both had been hiding for so long surged to the surface, and what started as a hesitant kiss quickly became something more. That night, you sought more than just emotional comfort from Jungkook — you sought intimacy, a connection that went beyond the friendship you had built over the years.

In the days that followed, you found yourself confused. You still hadn’t left Minseok, too afraid of the consequences, but your heart was no longer in it. How could it be, when Jungkook was the one who had been there for you all along? Every time you thought of Jungkook, your heart ached, not with pain but with longing.

It took you long enough to realise that you had fallen in love with your best friend, and there was no doubt that Jungkook loved you too. It was obvious he did.

Back to reality, Jungkook knew he had pulled the trigger with his words with the way fire in the man’s eyes erupted, but he didn’t care — he would do anything to fight for you.

The next thing they knew was the hallway erupting into a violent chaos. The sounds of grunts, fists meeting flesh, and the crashing of furniture filled the air, as two men fought for their own reasons.

“I’m not letting you hurt her again” Jungkook growled, throwing another punch at Minseok’s cheek.

As the man doubled down in pain, Jungkook took the opportunity to kick him with a powerful force, sending him to the ground. Ignoring his bloody fists, he quickly got on top of him and began throwing punches left and right, his anger blinding him completely.

“If Y/n hadn’t stopped me, I would have killed you a long time ago. But anymore. I’m going to kill you today” Jungkook seethed, his voice filled with a burning rage that matched the fire in his eyes.

You, on the other hand, heard the commotion from downstairs, and your heart was rapidly pounding against your ribcage.

You jumped off the bed and rushed to the door, but you stopped yourself just as you were about to twist the door handle. You hesitated for a moment as your mind raced with all sorts of thoughts, but felt your concern for Jungkook’s safety overcome your anxiety, and soon you rushed out of the room.

Halfway down the staircase, you came to an abrupt stop. You clung to the railing, your eyes widened in terror seeing your worst fears right in front of you. Adrenaline surged through your veins, and despite you trembling, you knew you couldn't stay hidden any longer.

Your body began shake witnessing the chaos, especially the blood that was on the floor. With tears in your eyes, you continued your way down and ran towards Jungkook, screaming for him to stop.

“Jungkook stop!” you cried, grabbing his shirt and trying to pull him away.

The room was a warzone, and you felt trapped in the crossfire of emotions and violence. Your hands trembled as you tried to pull Jungkook away from Minseok, but the fury in his eyes kept him fixated on the man below.

“Baby please, stop it!” you sobbed in terror, feeling your grip weaken. Your voice soon caught Minseok’s attention, and his hard glare pierced through your soul. Soon, he found himself using all his strength to kick off the man above him, sending him crashing into a nearby table.

Jungkook grunted in pain, his breath knocked out of him. You gasped in horror, frozen with fear as Minseok staggered to his feet. His eyes darted between the two of you, and a twisted grin formed on his bloody lips, “at last I found you” he said.

“S-Stay away from me” you warned him, your heart pounding in fear as he walked towards you.

“But I came to take you home baby. And I promise to be nicer” his said, his voice innocent as a child.

You shook your head vigorously, “n-no, I’m not coming anywhere with you. Take the hint Minseok, we’re over. We’ve been over since the day you raised your hand on me. You’re a monster, and I’ll never love a monster like you. All you did was hurt me, and force me to do things I never wanted to do. I’ll never forgive you for the shit you’ve done to me” you cried as you stepped backwards.

The twisted grin on his lips widened, and his eyes grew fiercer with anger. “I’m taking you with me whether you like it or not” he said with his deep and harsh, ignoring whatever you had just said.

You felt helpless, trapped, and tears streamed down your face as you took slow trembling steps backwards. “You thought you could leave me so easily?” he hissed, his eyes burning with fire.

“You thought you could be happy without me?” he questioned.

You felt the air knock out of your lungs when your steps came to a sudden halt, feeling your back hit against the wall. Panic began to well up and your breaths became shallow gasps. Minseok’s smirk grew seeing you helpless, and he took the opportunity to close the distance between you both.

“You can’t escape me babygirl, you’re mine. Not his, not anyone’s, but mine” he growled, slamming his hand on the wall above your head as he leaned down to you.

You flinched, and your voice trembled as you tried to respond, but your fear had paralysed you. Your mind raced, searching for a way out, but his threatening presence left you feeling powerless.

In that moment, you realised the true extent of the darkness you had escaped when you left him behind. You had found happiness and love with Jungkook, and you felt safe with him. But now, face to face with your past, you were forced to confront the demons you thought you had left behind.

“And if I can’t have you, no one can, because you’re always going to be mine. GOT IT?!” he screamed, grabbing a fistful of your hair.

You let out a loud shriek followed by a terrified and agonising cry, and all you could pray at this moment was for everything to end. It felt like a nightmare from which you couldn't wake.

Just when it seemed like all hope was lost, a sudden crash shattered the tense atmosphere.

Jungkook, driven by a mix of fear and anger, staggered to his feet despite the excruciating pain in his abdomen and grabbed a vase from the nearby table. With a fierce swing, he struck Minseok over the head, and the impact sent him crumpling to the floor, unconscious. The room fell into a long heavy silence, soon broken by your laboured breathing and the faint sobs that escaped your trembling lips.

Jungkook rushed to your side, wrapping his arms around you, offering the safety and protection you had so desperately needed. “Are you okay? Did he hurt you anywhere?” he questioned, panicked, as he pulled away.

He cupped your face, scanning your face and body for injuries. Seeing nothing, he sighed in relief. “I-I’m okay” you reassure him with a nod, struggling to keep your composure.

But Jungkook could see right through you. You were shaken. The fear of forever being trapped in the hands of a monster, the fear of being hurt, and chaos that unfolded in front of you — you were traumatised.

Without saying a word, he pulled you into a tight embrace. And in that moment, you felt yourself crumble, and all the pent up emotions came flooding down. “Let it all out, it’s okay” he whispered into your ear.

Overwhelmed, you broke down into tears, crying out loud and hysterically as you clung onto him. You cried out all the fear, anger, and pain that had been bottled up inside you for so long.

“I-I was so s-scared Jungkook” you cried.

“You’re okay now. He’s not going to hurt you after this, I promise” he reassured, placing a kiss on your forehead as he tightened his hug. You stay like that for a while until your cries died down, and when they did, you pulled away and turned your gaze to the unconscious man lying on the floor.

“What are we going to do now?” you asked.

“I’ll drop you off at my parents’ house, just stay with them for a while. I’ll handle everything here, don’t worry” he answered. You turned to face him, and it was only then when you noticed his face. Your eyes widened and a gasp left your mouth as you scanned his face.

“J-Jungkook, you’re hurt” you said, cupping his face in your hands — he was bleeding everywhere. The gnash on his forehead, the cut on his cheek and his bleeding lip, it all made your stomach churn.

“I’m fine, don’t worry” he smiled weakly.

“Now go and get ready, I’ll drop you off. I’ll come over later and we’ll stay over for a few days until everything is sorted out, hmm?” he explained, and gave him a nod in agreement.

“But let me treat your wounds first at least” you then said, “okay” Jungkook sighed.

And with that, you held his hand and dragged him upstairs. Jungkook was never a violent person, but in this moment, he knew he had done what he had to do to protect you, even if it meant resorting to violence.

━━━━━━━━━━

▍THREE DAYS LATER

As the rain poured outside, Jungkook sat by the window with his phone pressed to his ear. He gazed at the grey sky watching the droplets that trickled down the glass pane.

“That bastard is done for anyway, but I’ll be over there in an hour or two” he said, and after exchanging a few more words, he ended the call.

Just as he ended the call, his mother entered the room holding a steaming cup of coffee. “Here you go dear” she said as she handed the cup to her son. Jungkook gave her a small smile as he took it from her, mumbling a tiny ‘thank you’.

“How’s Y/n doing? She was complaining of a headache last night” Jungkook asked, “she’s resting in the room. She’s okay now, I made her soup earlier” she replied as she sat down next to him.

It had been three days since Minseok’s intrusion, and you were still shaken by everything. Jungkook knew he had reached his breaking point that day, and he promised himself that he wouldn’t hold back anymore if he came face to face with him.

“Is everything okay honey? You look stressed. Also, what’s happening with that man?” she asked, gently rubbing his back.

“He’s still in custody. He wants to file an appeal despite all the evidence against him. If the court grants that appeal, I know for sure he’s going to use his dirty tricks to get himself out. But I’m not going to let that happen” Jungkook answered with a sigh, and bright the cup to his lips to take a sip.

Jungkook called his family lawyer the moment you and him reached his parents’ house. The man had been a steady presence in their lives for years, handling everything from minor disputes to family issues. Now, Jungkook needed his guidance for something much darker. The attack wasn’t just on him; it was part of a larger pattern of abuse Minseok had been subjecting you to for months. So with the lawyer’s advice, Jungkook made sure that everything was done right.

“What’s the public’s opinion on this? I heard him and his company had a good reputation” his mother then questioned.

Not long after consulting with his family lawyer and further investigation, somehow Minseok’s actions had reached the media. Information not just about the abuse and the recent attack, but the shady business dealings and the fraud had been leaked by internal sources. Reporters had jumped on the story, exposing him for what he truly was — a manipulator, an abuser, a criminal hiding behind a veneer of respectability.

Jungkook had watched it unfold with a mix of relief and disbelief. The world was finally seeing the truth about Minseok, and you didn’t have to hide anymore.

“Well, the good thing is that they’re not on his side. They saw and heard everything, so even if he was to get himself out, he still wouldn’t be able to live the way he did before — they’ll tear him apart” Jungkook explained as he placed the cup on the table.

“Everything is going to be alright, it’s just a matter of time” she reassured him.

“I hope so. I don’t want that bastard near her ever again, or else-” he gritted his teeth.

“Jungkook,” his mother cut him off before he could finish, Jungkook hummed and turned to face her.

“The enemy you’re fighting is not fighting you because you’re weak. He’s fighting you because you’re strong. He’s fighting you because he knows what the truth is and so do you. If anything, he’s scared. He’s scared that you’re not a coward like him who hides behind money and power. Standing your ground and fighting for truth is the biggest weapon anyone could use, no matter what happens. Remember that” she said, looking into his eyes.

Jungkook wished he could snap his fingers and make everything right. But he knew it wouldn’t be that simple. You both would have to face whatever came next — together, whatever that meant. Whether you were his girlfriend or just his best friend didn’t seem so important right now. What mattered was that you were here, safe, and that he would do whatever it took to make sure you stayed that way.

━━━━━━━━━━

▍TWO DAYS LATER

The tension in the courtroom was suffocating, and you couldn’t hide your anxiety and anticipation as your eyes fixated on the judge. Your hands were tightly intertwined with Jungkook’s, who had been your rock through this whole journey.

“Everything’s going to be okay” he said.

You glanced at Jungkook who seemed a little nervous but somehow relaxed at the same time, as if he already knew what the outcome was going to be.

Across the courtroom, Minseok stood as a shell of his former self, looking dishevelled and defeated as the judge read out his sentence. The courtroom felt cold, and the air was thick. You had your eyes fixed on the floor, barely breathing as the words rang out.

“Yoo Minseok, you are sentenced to ten years in prison for abuse, assault, and fraud. As Miss Kim Y/n requested, a restraining order is placed upon your release. And any violations to the order will serve you a further three years in prison” the judge declared, his voice firm and final.

Jungkook exhaled a breath he didn’t realise he had been holding. It was over. The months of manipulation, the fear you had lived in, the attack — it was all over.

You couldn't hold back your tears, not of sorrow, but of relief and joy. The weight that had burdened you for so long had finally lifted. The courtroom seemed to blur as your emotions overwhelmed you. You cried not only for yourself but for the countless others who had suffered silently under his control.

However, amidst the tears and celebration, a sudden angry scream pierced the air. It was Minseok, his face twisted with rage, as the guards began to escort him away. The sound of his furious voice startled you, and you quickly gripped onto Jungkook’s shirt.

“It’s over now baby, he’s not going to hurt you anymore” Jungkook said, placing a kiss on top of your head as he hugged you tighter. You hummed, but kept your eyes at the raging man.

His outburst was ineffective, a last desperate attempt to reclaim control over a life he had tried to shatter. But justice had conquered, and you could finally breathe freely, knowing that you were safe from his abuse.

Jungkook held you close in his arms as your body shook with sobs, crying every drop of emotions you had pent up inside you. “I love you, thank you for staying by my side” you choked in between your cries.

Jungkook kisses the top of your head, holding you even closer. “I love you too, and I’ll always be by your side. And I'm so proud of you for staying strong, and for trusting me” he said.

You looked up and smiled at him, slowly leaning in and pressing your lips on his. As years of heartbreak and suffering came to an end, you finally found your happily ever after with a man you trusted with everything — because you knew he would never hurt you like Minseok did.

𝗔𝗟𝗟 𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦 𝗥𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗥𝗩𝗘𝗗

@𝗷𝗸𝘀𝗮𝗿𝗰𝗵𝗶𝘃𝗲𝘀 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰

©️

[pucksandpower]

I’ll Be Waiting

Toto Wolff x Reader

Summary: in which two soulmates are destined to always find each other only to be torn apart lifetime after lifetime after lifetime … until finally, they’re not (aka the reincarnation AU)

Hedeby, 952

The crackling fire casts long shadows across the great hall as Toto sits upon his ornate wooden throne. His piercing brown eyes scan the room, filled with boisterous warriors celebrating their latest successful raid. But his gaze keeps returning to you, his most favored thrall, as you move gracefully among the revelers, refilling their horns with mead.

“You there,” Toto calls out, his deep voice cutting through the din. “Come hither.”

Your heart quickens as you approach, head bowed respectfully. “Yes, my Jarl?”

Toto leans forward, a hint of a smile playing on his lips. “Tell me, how fares the celebration? Are our warriors content?”

You risk a glance up, meeting his intense gaze. “They are in high spirits, my Jarl. Your generosity knows no bounds.”

“And what of you?” Toto asks, his voice lowering. “Are you content in my service?”

A flush creeps up your neck. “I am honored to serve you, my Jarl. There is no greater joy.”

Toto nods, satisfied. “Good. I have a task for you. Meet me in my private chambers after the feast.”

As you turn to leave, a hand grabs your arm. It’s Ingrid, Toto’s wife, her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

“What did my husband want with you?” She hisses.

You try to keep your voice steady. “He merely asked about the celebration, my lady.”

Ingrid’s grip tightens. “Do not think I am blind to the way he looks at you. Remember your place, thrall.”

She releases you and you hurry away, your mind racing. As the night wears on, you can feel Toto’s eyes following you, and the weight of Ingrid’s glares.

Finally, the feast winds down. With trepidation, you make your way to Toto’s private chambers. You knock softly.

“Enter,” comes his voice from within.

You step inside, finding Toto standing by the window, silhouetted against the starry night sky.

“Close the door,” he says without turning.

You obey, your pulse quickening. “You wanted to see me, my Jarl?”

Toto turns, his expression unreadable. “I did. Come closer.”

You approach cautiously, stopping a respectful distance away. Toto closes the gap between you, reaching out to brush a strand of hair from your face.

“Do you know why I summoned you here?” He asks softly.

You swallow hard. “No, my Jarl.”

Toto’s hand cups your cheek. “I think you do. I’ve seen the way you look at me when you think I’m not watching. It mirrors the way I look at you.”

Your eyes widen. “My Jarl, I-”

“Shh,” he interrupts gently. “You need not speak. I know your heart, as you know mine.”

He leans in, his lips a breath away from yours. “Tell me to stop and I will. But know that you hold my heart in your hands.”

Unable to resist any longer, you close the distance, your lips meeting in a passionate kiss. For a moment, the world falls away, and there is only Toto and the fire he ignites within you.

Suddenly, the door bursts open. You jump apart to see Ingrid standing there, her face contorted with rage.

“I knew it!” She screams. “You treacherous whore!”

Before either of you can react, Ingrid pulls a dagger from her belt and lunges at you. Pain explodes in your abdomen as the blade finds its mark.

“No!” Toto roars, catching you as you collapse.

He lowers you gently to the floor, pressing his hands against the wound. “Stay with me,” he pleads, his voice breaking. “Don’t leave me.”

You try to speak, but only a gurgle escapes your lips. The world starts to fade around you.

“Guards!” Toto shouts. “Fetch the healer!”

But you know it’s too late. As your vision darkens, the last thing you see is Toto’s anguished face, tears streaming down his cheeks.

“I will find you,” he whispers fiercely. “In this life or the next. I swear it.”

With your last breath, you manage to whisper, “I’ll be waiting.”

As your eyes close for the final time, you feel Toto’s lips press against your forehead, sealing a promise that will echo through lifetimes to come.

Vatican City, 1493

The opulent halls of the Vatican echo with hushed whispers and the rustle of silk as you make your way through the winding corridors. Your heart races, not with the excitement of a bride-to-be, but with the desperate resolve of one about to take a drastic step.

As you round a corner, a strong hand grasps your arm, pulling you into a shadowy alcove. You find yourself face to face with Cardinal Toto, his eyes filled with concern.

“My love,” he whispers urgently, “what are you doing here? The wedding is but hours away.”

You place a trembling hand on his chest, feeling his heartbeat beneath the rich fabric of his robes. “I had to see you one last time.”

His brow furrows. “What do you mean? Speak plainly, I beg you.”

Taking a deep breath, you steel yourself. “I cannot go through with this farce of a marriage. My father may sell me to the highest bidder, but he cannot sell my heart.”

Toto’s eyes widen in alarm. “What are you planning? Tell me you haven’t done anything foolish.”

You pull a small vial from the folds of your dress. “It is already done, my love. The poison courses through my veins even as we speak.”

“No!” Toto gasps, gripping your shoulders. “How could you? We would have found another way!”

Tears well in your eyes. “There is no other way. My father’s ambition knows no bounds. This was the only path left to me.”

Toto pulls you close, his voice breaking. “Then I shall follow you into the darkness. I cannot live in a world without you.”

You push him away gently. “You must live, Toto. Live and remember me. Perhaps in another life, we will find each other again.”

He shakes his head vehemently. “I will not let you go. Not again. I’ve only just found you in this life, and I refuse to lose you once more.”

Confusion flickers across your face. “What do you mean, ‘again’?”

Toto cups your face in his hands. “I’ve had dreams, vivid as memories, of us in another time. A great hall, a celebration ... and a tragic end. I swore I would find you, and I have. I will not be parted from you now.”

You sway on your feet, the poison beginning to take effect. “Toto, please. You must let me go. Your life, your position ...”

“Mean nothing without you,” he finishes firmly. “Come, we must get you to a physician. Perhaps there is still time to counteract the poison.”

As he tries to lead you away, you stumble, your legs giving way beneath you. Toto catches you, lowering you gently to the floor.

“Help!” He calls out, his voice echoing through the halls. “Someone, help us!”

You clutch at his robes weakly. “It’s too late, my love. But know that I go to my death with a heart full of love for you.”

Footsteps approach rapidly. A group of guards rounds the corner, led by your father, Pope Alexander VI. His face contorts with rage at the sight before him.

“What is the meaning of this?” He thunders. “Cardinal Wolff, explain yourself!”

Toto looks up, defiance blazing in his eyes. “Your daughter lies dying, Your Holiness. Will you not call for aid?”

Your father’s gaze hardens. “My daughter knows her duty. She will marry as I have decreed.”

“She has taken poison rather than submit to your schemes,” Toto spits out. “Is your ambition worth more than your daughter’s life?”

For a moment, shock flickers across your father’s face. Then his expression hardens once more. “Guards, seize the Cardinal. He has clearly bewitched my daughter’s mind.”

As the guards move to comply, you summon the last of your strength. “Father, please. Let me die in peace, with the man I love.”

Your words give the guards pause. They look to the Pope, uncertainty in their eyes.

Your father’s face twists with conflicting emotions. “You would throw away everything for this ... this upstart Cardinal?”

“I would throw away everything for love,” you whisper. “Something you have long forgotten the meaning of.”

A tense silence falls over the group. Then, to everyone’s surprise, your father waves the guards away. “Leave us,” he commands.

As they retreat, he kneels beside you, his voice softer than you’ve heard it in years. “My child, what have you done?”

You meet his gaze steadily. “I have chosen my own fate, father. For once in my life, I have made my own choice.”

Toto holds you closer, his tears falling freely now. “Is there truly nothing to be done?” He asks, his voice raw with anguish.

Your father shakes his head slowly. “The poison she favors ... it is swift and irreversible. I had thought to use it on our enemies, not ...” He trails off, unable to finish the thought.

As your breath grows more labored, you turn to Toto. “Promise me something, my love.”

“Anything,” he vows without hesitation.

“Live,” you whisper. “Live and do good in this world. And when your time comes, look for me in the next life. I will be waiting.”

Toto presses his forehead to yours. “I swear it. I will find you again, in this life or the next.”

With your last ounce of strength, you pull him into a final kiss. As your lips part, you feel the life leaving your body.

The last thing you hear is Toto’s anguished cry, a sound that seems to echo not just through the halls of the Vatican, but across time itself.

As darkness claims you, a strange sense of remembrance washes over you. You’ve been here before, you realize. And somehow, you know you’ll be here again. For your love is one that transcends death itself, destined to play out across the ages until, at last, you and Toto find your happily ever after.

Virginia, 1863

The makeshift field hospital buzzes with frantic activity as wounded soldiers are brought in from the front lines. The air is thick with the metallic scent of blood and the acrid smell of gunpowder. Amidst the chaos, you move with practiced efficiency, your nurse’s apron already stained with the day’s grim work.

Suddenly, a commotion at the entrance catches your attention. Your heart stops as you recognize the unconscious figure being carried in on a stretcher.

“Toto!” You cry out, rushing to his side.

The soldiers carrying him look grim. “It’s the Commander, ma’am. He took a bullet meant for one of his men.”

You quickly assess the wound, your medical training warring with your rising panic. “Put him here,” you direct, indicating an empty cot.

As they lay Toto down, his eyes flutter open. “Y/N?” He murmurs weakly. “Is that you, my love?”

You grasp his hand tightly. “I’m here, darling. You’re going to be alright.”

Toto manages a pained smile. “You always were a terrible liar, my dear.”

“Don’t talk like that,” you scold, fighting back tears as you begin to clean his wound. “You’re not going anywhere. I won’t allow it.”

He chuckles, then winces. “If only your determination could heal bullet wounds.”

As you work, you keep up a steady stream of conversation, partly to distract Toto from the pain and partly to keep your own rising fear at bay.

“Do you remember when we first met?” You ask, your hands moving swiftly to staunch the bleeding. “At that ridiculous ball in Washington?”

Toto’s eyes soften at the memory. “How could I forget? You were the most beautiful woman in the room, and I was the fool who spilled champagne all over your dress.”

You laugh despite yourself. “And then you insisted on giving me your jacket to cover the stain, even though it was three sizes too big.”

“It was worth the embarrassment,” Toto says softly. “It got you to talk to me.”

A sharp intake of breath from Toto makes you pause in your ministrations. “I’m sorry, love. I know it hurts.”

He shakes his head. “Don’t apologize. You’re doing your best. You always do.”

You blink back tears, focusing on the task at hand. “We have so much left to do, Toto. Remember our plans? The house by the lake, the children we talked about ...”

Toto’s hand finds yours, squeezing weakly. “Tell me about them. Our children.”

You swallow hard, playing along even as your heart breaks. “Well, there’s little Torger, of course. He would have your eyes and your stubborn chin.”

“Poor lad,” Toto quips, his voice growing fainter.

“And our daughter,” you continue, your voice wavering. “She would be as smart as her father and as headstrong as her mother. Heaven help us when she would’ve gotten older.”

Toto’s eyes begin to drift closed. “They sound perfect.”

Panic seizes you. “Toto? Toto, stay with me. Please, darling, you have to fight.”

His eyes open again with visible effort. “I’m trying, my love. But I’m so tired.”

You look around frantically. “Doctor! We need a doctor here!”

But the overwhelmed medical staff are all occupied with other critical patients. You’re on your own.

“Look at me,” you plead, cupping his face in your hands. “Do you remember what you promised me on our wedding day? You said you’d love me in this life and the next. You can’t break that promise now.”

A strange look passes over Toto’s face. “The next life,” he murmurs. “Yes, I remember. I’ve always remembered, somehow.”

Confusion mixes with your fear. “What do you mean?”

Toto’s gaze becomes distant. “I’ve loved you before, Y/N. In other times, other places. I don’t know how I know this, but I do.”

You shake your head, tears flowing freely now. “You’re delirious, my love. Save your strength.”

“No,” Toto insists with surprising force. “Listen to me. This isn’t the end. I will find you again. I swear it.”

His words stir something deep within you, a sense of déjà vu so strong it takes your breath away. “Toto, I-”

But before you can finish, Toto’s body is wracked by a violent coughing fit. Blood trickles from the corner of his mouth.

“No, no, no,” you chant, redoubling your efforts to save him. “Don’t you dare leave me, Toto Wolff. Don’t you dare.”

Toto manages to lift a hand to your cheek, wiping away your tears. “My brave, beautiful Y/N. How I wish we had more time.”

You lean into his touch. “We will. You’ll get better and we’ll have all the time in the world.”

But even as you say the words, you can feel Toto slipping away. His breathing becomes more labored, his skin growing cold beneath your touch.

“Kiss me,” he whispers. “One last time.”

Choking back a sob, you lean down and press your lips to his. You try to pour all your love, all your hope, all your desperation into that kiss.

As you pull back, Toto’s eyes meet yours one final time. “Until we meet again, my love,” he breathes.

And then he’s gone.

For a moment, you’re frozen in disbelief. Then a wail of anguish tears from your throat, echoing through the hospital tent.

As you collapse across Toto’s still form, sobs wracking your body, a strange sensation washes over you. It’s as if you’re remembering something you’ve never experienced — other lives, other deaths, other heartbreaks.

In that moment, you know with absolute certainty that this isn’t the end. Somehow, someway, you and Toto will find each other again.

As the chaos of the field hospital swirls around you, you whisper a promise against Toto’s cold lips. “I’ll be waiting for you, my love. In this life or the next.”

And somewhere, beyond the veil of death, a spark of hope ignites. The wheel of time turns, and two souls begin their journey once more, drawn together by a love that refuses to die.

London, 1894

The London fog hangs heavy in the air as you hurry through the winding streets, your heart pounding with a mixture of excitement and fear. You pull your cloak tighter, glancing over your shoulder to ensure you haven’t been followed. Finally, you reach your destination: a nondescript townhouse in a respectable neighborhood.

You knock quickly, a pre-arranged pattern. The door opens almost immediately, and you’re pulled inside by strong, familiar arms.

“My darling,” Toto Wolff murmurs, his eyes drinking in the sight of you. “I was beginning to worry.”

You melt into his embrace, inhaling his comforting scent. “I’m sorry, love. It was difficult to get away tonight.”

Toto’s brow furrows as he notices your wince when he holds you. “He hurt you again, didn’t he?”

You look away, unable to meet his gaze. “It’s nothing, Toto. Please, let’s not waste our precious time together talking about him.”

But Toto gently cups your face, turning it towards him. “It’s not nothing. You don’t deserve this, Y/N. Let me take you away from all this. We could start a new life together, somewhere far from here.”

You sigh, leaning into his touch. “You know we can’t. The scandal would ruin you. Your business, your reputation ...”

“I don’t care about any of that,” Toto insists. “I care about you. I love you.”

Those three words, so freely given, bring tears to your eyes. “And I love you. More than I ever thought possible. But the world isn’t kind to women who leave their husbands, no matter how cruel those husbands might be.”

Toto’s jaw clenches. “Then let me confront him. I have influence, connections. I could make him disappear.”

You shake your head vehemently. “No, I won’t have you risk everything for me. These stolen moments ... they’re enough. They have to be.”

Toto pulls you close again, more gently this time. “They’ll never be enough. Not when I know you’re suffering. Not when every fiber of my being aches to make you my wife, to give you the life you deserve.”

You look up at him, struck once again by the intensity of his gaze. “Sometimes ... sometimes I feel as though we’ve lived this before. This longing, this impossible love. Does that sound mad?”

A strange expression crosses Toto’s face. “No, my love. It doesn’t sound mad at all. I’ve felt it too. As if we’ve known each other across lifetimes.”

You’re about to respond when a loud banging on the door makes you both jump.

“Open up, Wolff!” A familiar, slurred voice calls out. “I know she’s in there!”

Your blood runs cold. “It’s him. Oh God, Toto, it’s my husband. He must have followed me.”

Toto’s expression hardens. “Stay here,” he commands, moving towards the door.

But you grab his arm. “No, please! He’s drunk, he’s dangerous. Let me handle this.”

Before Toto can protest, you rush to the door and open it slightly. Your husband’s red, enraged face greets you.

“So it’s true,” he snarls. “My own wife, carrying on with this ... this upstart robber baron!”

You try to keep your voice calm. “Richard, please. Let’s go home and talk about this.”

But Richard is beyond reason. He shoves the door open, nearly knocking you over. Toto is there in an instant, steadying you.

“Get your hands off my wife,” Richard growls.

Toto’s voice is ice cold. “I suggest you leave, sir. Before you do something you’ll regret.”

Richard laughs bitterly. “Regret? The only thing I regret is not seeing this sooner. How long has this been going on, eh? How long have you been making a fool of me?”

You step forward, hands raised placatingly. “Richard, please. It’s not what you think.”

“Not what I think?” Richard roars. “Do you take me for an idiot?”

In his rage, he lashes out, his hand connecting with your cheek with a sickening crack. You stumble backwards, crying out in pain.

Toto moves with lightning speed, tackling Richard to the ground. “How dare you lay a hand on her!” He shouts, his fist connecting with Richard’s jaw.

The two men grapple on the floor, trading blows. You watch in horror, frozen in place.

Suddenly, Richard’s hand emerges from his coat, clutching a revolver. Time seems to slow down as he aims it at Toto.

“No!” You scream, throwing yourself between them just as Richard pulls the trigger.

The sound of the gunshot is deafening in the small space. For a moment, everything is still. Then you look down, seeing the rapidly spreading red stain on your dress.

“Y/N!” Toto cries out, catching you as you collapse.

Richard stares in shock, the gun falling from his limp fingers. “I ... I didn’t mean ...”

But Toto isn’t listening. He’s cradling you in his arms, his face a mask of anguish. “Stay with me, my love. Please, stay with me.”

You reach up weakly, touching his cheek. “Toto ... my Toto ...”

“Don’t speak,” he urges. “Save your strength. Help is coming.”

But you both know it’s too late. You can feel your life ebbing away with each labored breath.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper. “I’m so sorry we never got our chance.”

Toto’s tears fall on your face as he leans close. “Don’t be sorry. We’ll have another chance. I swear it. I’ll find you again, in the next life.”

A sense of peace washes over you at his words. “Promise?”

“I promise,” Toto vows fiercely. “This isn’t the end for us. It can’t be.”

With the last of your strength, you pull him down for a final kiss. As your lips meet, memories flood your mind – not just of this life, but of others. Viking halls, Vatican corridors, Civil War battlefields. Through it all, one constant.

Toto.

As darkness closes in, you manage one last whisper. “Until we meet again, my love.”

Your eyes close, your hand going limp in Toto’s grasp. The last thing you hear is his anguished cry, a sound that seems to echo not just through the room, but across time itself.

Indiana, 1932

The dilapidated streets of the once-thriving town are a stark contrast to the sleek black car that rolls through them. A powerful mobster sits in the back, his sharp eyes taking in the changes a decade has wrought on his childhood home.

As the car stops in front of a run-down tenement, a young boy approaches cautiously. Toto steps out, adjusting his expensive suit.

“You Toto?” The boy asks, eyeing him warily.

Toto nods. “I am. And you must be Jimmy. You’ve grown since I last saw you.”

Jimmy’s face darkens. “Yeah, well, a lot’s changed. You here to see her?”

“I am,” Toto confirms, his voice softening. “How is she, Jimmy?”

The boy’s shoulders slump. “Not good, mister. Not good at all. Follow me.”

As they climb the creaking stairs, Jimmy speaks in a low voice. “She’s been sick for months. Tuberculosis, the doc says. But she won’t stop giving her food to us kids. Says we need it more.”

Toto’s jaw clenches. “Why didn’t anyone tell me? I would have-”

“She wouldn’t let us,” Jimmy interrupts. “Said you had your own life now, that she didn’t want to be a burden.”

They reach a door on the third floor. Jimmy hesitates before opening it. “Just ... prepare yourself, okay?”

Toto steels himself as they enter the small, dimly lit room. His heart nearly stops when he sees you lying on the bed, a mere shadow of the vibrant girl he remembers.

Your eyes light up when you see him, even as a coughing fit wracks your frail body. “Toto? Is it really you?”

He’s at your side in an instant, taking your hand in his. “It’s me, my love. I’m here.”

You manage a weak smile. “You shouldn’t have come. It’s not safe for you here.”

Toto shakes his head, fighting back tears. “To hell with safety. Why didn’t you tell me you were ill? I could have helped.”

Another cough shakes you, and this time, blood stains your lips. Toto reaches for a handkerchief, gently wiping it away.

“I didn’t want to be a burden,” you whisper. “You’ve done so well for yourself, Toto. I couldn’t bear to drag you back here.”

Toto’s voice is fierce. “You could never be a burden. Don’t you know that you’re everything to me?”

You look at him sadly. “We were children then. The world’s changed. We’ve changed.”

“Not where it matters,” he insists. “My feelings for you have never changed.”

Jimmy, who’s been hovering by the door, speaks up. “I’ll, uh, give you two some privacy.” He slips out, closing the door behind him.

Alone now, Toto takes in your gaunt face, your hollow cheeks. “Why haven’t you been eating?” He asks softly.

You look away. “Times are hard. The children need it more than I do.”

“And what about what you need?” Toto demands, his voice breaking. “Did you think I wouldn’t want to know? That I wouldn’t move heaven and earth to help you?”

A tear slips down your cheek. “I couldn’t ask that of you. You’ve built a new life. I’m just ... I’m just a relic of the past.”

Toto cups your face gently, turning it towards him. “You’re not a relic. You’re the love of my life. The only thing that’s mattered all these years.”

You search his eyes, seeing the truth there. “Oh, Toto. I’ve missed you so much.”

He leans in, pressing his forehead to yours. “I’m here now. And I’m not going anywhere. We’re going to get you better and then-”

But you shake your head weakly. “It’s too late for that, my love. I can feel it. I don’t have much time left.”

“Don’t say that,” Toto pleads. “You can’t give up. Not now that we’re together again.”

Another coughing fit overtakes you, more violent than before. When it subsides, you look at Toto with a strange mix of sadness and wonder.

“You know,” you murmur, “I’ve had the strangest dreams lately. Of us, together, but in different times, different places. Is that mad?”

Toto’s breath catches. “No, it’s not mad at all. I’ve had them too. Like ... like we’ve lived this love before.”

You manage a small smile. “Perhaps we have. Perhaps we always will.”

Toto brings your hand to his lips, kissing it softly. “Then let this not be the end. Fight, my love. Fight to stay with me.”

“I’m trying,” you whisper. “But I’m so tired, Toto. So very tired.”

He climbs onto the bed, gathering you carefully in his arms. “Then rest. I’ve got you now. I’m not letting go.”

You nestle against his chest, feeling safe for the first time in years. “Toto?”

“Yes, my love?”

“Will you tell me about your life? What you’ve been doing all these years?”

Toto hesitates, not wanting to speak of his less-than-legal activities. But he sees the genuine interest in your eyes and begins to talk, telling you sanitized versions of his rise to power.

As he speaks, he feels you relaxing in his arms, your breathing becoming more even. For a moment, he allows himself to hope.

But then you look up at him, your eyes filled with a mix of love and regret. “I wish we had more time,” you breathe.

Toto’s heart clenches. “We will. You’re going to get better, and we’ll have all the time in the world.”

You shake your head slightly. “Promise me something.”

“Anything,” he vows without hesitation.

“Look after them. Jimmy and the others. They’ll need someone now.”

Toto nods, tears flowing freely now. “I promise. But you’ll be here too. You have to be.”

You reach up weakly, touching his cheek. “Kiss me? One last time?”

Choking back a sob, Toto leans down, pressing his lips to yours in a gentle, desperate kiss.

As you part, you look into his eyes one final time. “Until we meet again, my love,” you whisper.

And then you’re gone, your body going limp in Toto’s arms.

For a moment, the world stands still. Then Toto’s anguished cry echoes through the small room, a sound of grief so profound it seems to transcend time itself.

As he holds your lifeless body, Toto makes a silent vow. He will find you again, in this life or the next. For a love like yours cannot be bound by the limits of a single lifetime.

Monaco, 2024

The bustling energy of the paddock swirls around you as you make your way through the crowd, one hand resting protectively on your slightly swollen belly. Despite the chaos, you move with confidence, knowing that at any moment ...

“There you are, mein Schatz,” a familiar voice calls out. Toto appears at your side as if by magic. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Are you feeling alright? Do you need to sit down?”

You can’t help but smile at his concern. “I’m fine, Toto. Just taking a little walk. The baby’s been restless today.”

Toto’s hand immediately joins yours on your belly, his face lighting up with wonder. “Is that so? Well then, little one, let’s find a more comfortable spot for your mother, shall we?”

Before you can protest, Toto is guiding you towards the Mercedes hospitality area, his arm protectively around your waist. As you walk, heads turn and whispers follow. It’s still a novelty for many to see the usually intense and focused Toto Wolff so openly affectionate.

“Toto, really, I’m okay,” you insist, even as you allow him to lead you. “You don’t need to fuss so much.”

He gives you a look that’s equal parts love and stubbornness. “Nonsense. It’s my job to fuss over you. Both of you.”

As you enter the cool, quiet Mercedes suite, Toto immediately starts arranging pillows on a plush sofa. “Here, sit down. Can I get you anything? Water? A snack? Perhaps a foot massage?”

You laugh, settling onto the sofa. “A water would be lovely, thank you. But then you need to relax. Don’t you have a race to prepare for?”

Toto waves a hand dismissively as he fetches your water. “The team can manage without me for a few minutes. You and our child are my priority.”

As he hands you the water and sits beside you, you can’t help but marvel at the man before you. Toto Wolff, the billionaire, the racing mogul, the man whose mere presence commands respect throughout the paddock — and here he is, fussing over you like a mother hen.

“What are you thinking about?” Toto asks, noticing your contemplative expression.

You take his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “Just ... how different things are now. How perfect. Sometimes I feel like we’ve been waiting lifetimes for this happiness.”

A strange look passes over Toto’s face, a mix of recognition and wonder. “You know, I’ve had that same feeling. Like we knew each other before.”

You nod, a shiver running down your spine. “It’s odd, isn’t it? But it feels ... right, somehow.”

Toto pulls you closer, his hand resting on your belly once more. “Perhaps we have known each other across lifetimes. And perhaps this is the one where we finally got it right.”

Just then, you feel a strong kick from the baby. Toto’s eyes widen in delight.

“Did you feel that?” He exclaims, his usual composure completely forgotten.

You laugh, wincing slightly. “Trust me, I felt it. I think someone’s eager to join the conversation.”

Toto leans down, speaking directly to your belly. “Hello there, little racer. Are you practicing your podium celebrations already?”

As if in response, there’s another kick. Toto looks up at you, his eyes shining with unshed tears of joy.

“I never knew I could be this happy,” he murmurs. “You’ve given me everything. A love I never thought possible, a family of my own ...”

You cup his cheek, touched by his openness. “Oh, Toto. You’ve given me just as much. More, even. You’ve given me a home, a sense of belonging I’ve never had before.”

Toto turns his head to kiss your palm. “And I’ll spend the rest of my life making sure you always feel that way. Both of you.”

Just then, there’s a knock at the door. Toto sighs, reluctantly pulling away.

“Come in,” he calls out, his ‘team principal’ voice back in place.

A nervous-looking intern pokes his head in. “I’m sorry to interrupt, sir, but the strategy meeting is about to start. They’re asking for you.”

Toto nods. “Thank you. I’ll be there in a moment.”

As the intern leaves, Toto turns back to you with an apologetic smile. “Duty calls, I’m afraid. Will you be alright here?”

You roll your eyes good-naturedly. “I’ll be fine. Go, lead your team to victory. We’ll be right here cheering you on.”

Toto stands, but hesitates. “Are you sure you don’t need anything? I could have someone bring you some snacks or maybe a blanket if you’re cold ...”

“Toto,” you say firmly, but with affection. “Go. We’re fine. I promise I’ll call if I need anything.”

He leans down to kiss you softly. “Alright, alright. I’m going. I love you both so much.”

“We love you too,” you reply, giving him a gentle push. “Now go be the brilliant team principal I married.”

As Toto finally leaves, you settle back into the couch, your hands resting on your belly. You feel another kick and smile.

“Your father’s quite something, isn’t he?” You murmur to your unborn child. “But don’t worry. No matter how busy he gets, no matter how many races he wins, you and I will always be his greatest victory.”

As you sit there, surrounded by the muffled sounds of the paddock, you’re filled with a sense of contentment so profound it almost overwhelms you. After so many lifetimes of heartache and separation, you and Toto have finally found your happily ever after.

And as your baby kicks again, you smile, knowing that this is just the beginning of your greatest adventure yet.

[chosok-amo]

FALL APART? NO, JUST MENTAL BREAKDOWN : GOJO SATORU, GETO SUGURU

gojo found you training in the middle of the night only for you to have a mental breakdown in front of him. so he brings you to geto's dorm room to calm you down, also for gojo to find behind geto's action on why he is so gentle with you.

warning. highschool! satosugu, fem! reader, mental breakdown, blood mentioned.

wc. 11k | [☆] MASTERLIST

the moon hung high in the sky, casting a pale glow over the training grounds as gojo strolled leisurely toward the dorms. the night air was cool, a gentle breeze rustling the leaves as he walked, his posture relaxed with one hand casually tucked into the pocket of his gray sweatpants. a plastic bag dangled from his wrist, filled with snacks, while the other hand held a bottle of ramune, the fizzing sound of the drink faint in the quiet night.

as he approached the training area, his keen senses picked up on a faint, familiar energy. gojo's sharp eyes, hidden behind his usual dark sunglasses, flickered toward the source. there you were, in the middle of the field, your movements precise but lacking the usual fire. something felt off. he could see it in the way you moved—like you were pushing yourself too hard, not out of determination but as if trying to outrun something.

gojo paused, tilting his head as he observed you. the way your shoulders tensed, the subtle tremor in your stance, it was clear you were wrestling with something heavy. he didn’t need to use his six eyes to know that whatever it was, it was eating at you.

with a sigh, he made his way over, his footsteps quiet against the ground. “hey,” he called out, his voice breaking the silence as he approached. “shouldn’t you be getting some rest? it’s almost midnight.”

you didn’t stop, swinging your fists with a determination that bordered on reckless. sweat glistened on your skin, your breaths coming out in harsh pants. gojo frowned, sensing the storm of emotions swirling inside you. gojo crossed his arms, his eyes fixed on your back as you continued to punch, ignoring his words. he could see the tension in your muscles, the stiffness in each punch you threw. it was clear to him that you were drowning in something, something that went deeper than just physical exhaustion.

“y/n,” he called out again, his voice firm. “stop it. you're gonna exhaust yourself.”

but you didn't listen, continuing with your relentless assault on the air, your breath coming out in ragged gasps. when you didn’t respond, he took a sip of his ramune, the fizzy sound breaking the silence again. gojo knew you well enough to recognize when you were shutting people out, but he wasn’t one to back off easily.

he took a step closer, setting the bottle down and letting the plastic bag drop to the ground with a soft rustle. “you know, you can’t just punch your way through everything,” he said, his tone lighter but laced with a sincerity that was rare for him. “what’s going on?”

you finally stopped, breathing heavily as you glared at him, trying to maintain your composure. “it’s none of your business, gojo,” you snapped, though your voice lacked its usual bite.

gojo just shrugged, unbothered by your attitude. “yeah, maybe. but i’m making it my business,” he replied, his gaze never leaving you. he could see the cracks in your tough exterior, the way your resolve was starting to waver.

gojo took a couple of steps closer, closing the gap between the two of you. he stood there, his hands in his pockets, his casual demeanor starkly contrasting the intensity of the moment. he tilted his head slightly, studying your face, taking in the way your expression flickered with a mix of anger and vulnerability.

“you're not fooling anyone,” he said, his voice surprisingly gentle. “you look like you're about to collapse. why are you pushing yourself so hard?” you shot gojo a sharp look, your eyes narrowing as his words cut through the tense air. “wow, thanks for the observation, the strongest sorcerer,” you snapped, wiping the sweat from your brow with the back of your hand. “maybe i'm pushing myself because i have to, unlike some people who just stroll around like they own the place.”

you turned away, trying to focus back on your training, but his presence lingered, making it impossible to ignore. “not everyone has the luxury of slacking off, gojo,” you added, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “some of us actually have to work for it.”

the frustration in your voice was clear, but you kept your back turned, refusing to show him the full extent of what was really eating at you. gojo stood there, unfazed by your biting remarks. he had seen this side of you many times before. it was a defense mechanism, a way for you to push people away when you were feeling vulnerable.

he took a slow step closer, closing the gap between you even further. “yeah, yeah,” he muttered, his voice tinged with a hint of sarcasm. “don’t get all pissy with me because i’m just taking it easy. it’s not my fault i’m powerful enough to do that.”

he paused for a moment, his eyes narrowing.

he took a step closer, standing just a few feet away from you. “but you're not fooling me, you know,” he said firmly, his voice cutting through the heavy silence that had settled over the field. “i know you, y/n. i know when you're acting all tough, trying to hide how you really feel.”

gojo waited a moment, watching as you continued to punch, your movements tense and aggressive. he knew you were doing this intentionally, trying to block him out.

“what's going on?” he repeated, his voice quieter this time. “talk to me.” you glared at gojo, your vision blurring as your eyes welled up with unshed tears. his words stung, digging into the parts of you that you tried so hard to keep buried. you hated how easily he saw through you, how he always managed to pry into your thoughts no matter how hard you tried to push him away.

“shut up, gojo,” you spat, your voice cracking as you try to hold back your emotions. “you don’t know anything, so just stop pretending like you care.”

your fists clenched tighter, nails digging into your palms as you felt the hot sting of tears threatening to spill over. the frustration of being seen, of having someone like him so close to your vulnerable side, made your heart pound in your chest.

you turned away from him, your breaths coming out in shaky huffs. “you have no idea what it’s like,” you muttered, your voice barely above a whisper. “so just leave me alone. go play hero somewhere else.”

you could feel his gaze boring into you, unrelenting, but you refused to let him see you break. not now, not ever. gojo's expression softened as he watched you struggle to keep your composure. he could see the way your hands were shaking, the way your voice wavered with emotion. it was clear that you were on the verge of falling apart, but you were doing everything you could to keep yourself together.

he took another step closer, closing the distance between you, his presence looming over you like a protective shadow.

“you're right,” he said quietly. "i don’t know what it’s like. but i can see that something is tearing you apart.” he reached out, gently gripping your shoulder and turning you to face him. you tried to shake off his touch, but his grip was firm. gojo's eyes met yours, and in that moment, he could see the weight of everything you were struggling with.

“y/n,” he said, his voice gentle yet firm, “you can't keep this up. you're going to break. you don’t have to tell me what's going on, but at least let me help you carry the load.”

anger flared in your chest, burning hotter with every soft word that fell from gojo’s lips. you hated this—being seen so clearly, so intimately by him. it made you feel weak, exposed in a way that made your skin crawl. the vulnerability he brought out in you wasn’t something you were ready to face, let alone share.

your breath hitched, and without thinking, you lunged at him, fists clenched and ready to strike. the thought of wiping that concerned look off his face, even for a moment, felt like the only way to regain some control over the spiraling chaos inside you.

but before your fists could connect, gojo's hands were there, catching your wrists in mid-air. his grip was firm but gentle, not meant to restrain but to steady. your eyes locked onto his, those impossibly blue eyes that held so much softness it made your chest ache.

“let go,” you snarled, your voice thick with frustration, but your resolve was already wavering under the weight of his gaze. his touch was warm, grounding, and it pissed you off even more that it made you feel safer than you wanted to admit.

gojo didn’t flinch, didn’t react to your outburst. instead, he just held your wrists, his thumbs brushing lightly over your skin in soothing circles. “i’m not letting go,” he said softly, his voice steady. “no, y/n..”

you tried to pull back, but his hold remained firm, not allowing you to retreat into the walls you’d built so carefully around yourself. your breath came out in ragged, uneven gasps, and you could feel your resolve crumbling under the sheer kindness of his gaze.

gojo’s thumbs continued to brush against the skin on your wrists in soothing circles, his touch grounding you even as the tension in your body remained taut. he could see the conflict in your eyes, the struggle between vulnerability and resilience. it tugged at his heart, the way you were fighting against your own feelings, trying to push him away even as you leaned into his touch.

he leaned in slightly, his voice still soft but firm. “just let it out, y/n,” he said, his eyes fixed on yours. “you don’t have to be strong all the time.”

your breath hitched the moment gojo’s words reached your ears, and the dam you’d built up so carefully finally cracked. tears spilled down your cheeks, hot and unrelenting, and you hated how exposed you felt under his gaze. but there was something in his eyes—a quiet understanding, a patience that felt like a lifeline in the storm of your emotions.

you tried to keep your lips shut, biting down hard to stop the sobs from escaping, but it was useless. your chest heaved, and your vision blurred with the force of your tears. you looked up at gojo, desperately trying to hold onto the remnants of your pride, but the tenderness in his eyes only made the tears flow harder.

you wanted to yell at him, to tell him to leave you alone, to stop being so kind when you didn’t deserve it—but the words wouldn’t come. instead, all that came out was a broken sound, halfway between a sob and a gasp, as you stared at him, your defenses crumbling under the weight of your own emotions.

gojo didn’t say anything; he just stayed there, holding your wrists gently as if you were something precious, something worth protecting. his thumbs continued their soothing motions, grounding you in the moment even as your walls came tumbling down. and for once, you let yourself lean into it, let yourself feel the comfort of someone who wasn’t going to leave, who wasn’t going to judge.

your shoulders shook as the sobs you’d been holding back finally broke free, and gojo just stayed there, his presence steady and unwavering, letting you fall apart without pulling away.

gojo's heart ached as he watched you fall apart in front of him. seeing you, always strong and determined, reduced to tears, was a sight he had never imagined he'd see. it was heart-breaking and beautiful all at once.

he wanted to hold you, to wrap his arms around you and shield you from everything that had pushed you to this point, but he held back. he knew you wouldn't accept it, not yet. so, he settled for holding your wrists, grounding you with his touch, his thumbs continuing to draw small, soothing circles on your skin.

you stood there, trembling under gojo’s touch, your resolve crumbling with each passing second. your tears streamed down your face, and despite the overwhelming urge to scream or collapse, you stubbornly kept your lips pressed into a tight line, refusing to let a single sob escape.

your breath came in ragged gasps, each one a silent battle to maintain the last shreds of your composure. it infuriated you—how he was seeing you like this, so raw and broken, and yet he didn’t look at you with pity. instead, there was something warm and unyielding in his gaze, something that made the knot in your chest tighten and loosen all at once.

your eyes flicked up to meet his, and the tears continued to fall. gojo's calm, unwavering presence only made it harder to keep the sobs at bay, but you still fought against it, clenching your jaw and blinking rapidly to stop the flood. you hated feeling this vulnerable, hated that he was witnessing you at your lowest.

but despite everything, you couldn’t pull away. you couldn’t turn your back on the silent comfort he was offering. so, you just stood there, staring up at his much taller frame, trying to steady your breaths and failing miserably. the warmth of his hands on your wrists was the only thing keeping you grounded, a gentle reminder that you weren’t alone, even as you continued to silently unravel.

gojo held your gaze, his eyes filled with a mixture of sadness and understanding. he saw the battle you were fighting within yourself, the struggle to keep your emotions in check. he knew how hard it was for you to show weakness, how much you hated the vulnerability that came with tears.

but he also saw the way you leaned into his touch, how you couldn’t pull away even though you desperately wanted to. his thumbs continued to brush softly across your wrists, a silent reassurance. he didn’t push you to speak, didn’t ask you to explain. he just stayed, offering his presence as a silent comforter.

gojo hesitated for a moment, feeling the weight of your pain pressing against him. when your tears didn’t stop, he finally gave in, wrapping his arms around your shoulders with a gentleness that was almost uncharacteristic of him. pulling you closer, he murmured softly, "come on, let's get you to rest and clean those wounds," his gaze lingering on your bruised knuckles. without waiting for you to respond, he guided you carefully, picking up the plastic bag from the ground before leading you to geto's dorm room.

your silent sobs echoed softly in the quiet night as gojo continued to walk beside you, his arm steady around you, providing a comforting presence. when he finally opened the door to geto’s room, the raven-haired sorcerer was sprawled out, halfway through opening a bag of snacks, his expression immediately shifting to irritation.

“where the hell have you been?” geto began, his tone laced with annoyance, but the words died in his throat the moment he saw you. his eyes widened in surprise, and his expression softened instantly as he took in the sight of you, tears still streaming down your face, tucked under gojo’s arm. the sight was jarring—seeing you, someone who was always so tough, reduced to a state of raw emotion.

gojo gave geto a small, rueful smile as he gently nudged you further into the room. “look who i found,” he said softly, his voice lacking its usual teasing edge. geto’s gaze flickered from gojo to you, his expression shifting to one of concern and understanding.

“hey,” geto said quietly, his voice warm as he quickly moved over, abandoning his snack without a second thought. “what’s going on?” he asked gently, his eyes searching yours for an answer, but he didn’t push, knowing better than to pry when you were already so vulnerable.

gojo guided you to the bed, helping you sit down before pulling up a chair beside you. he glanced at geto, who nodded silently, the unspoken communication between them clear. they weren’t going to leave you alone to face this on your own.

geto settled down on the other side of the bed, sitting facing you. he didn’t say anything, just waited patiently, his presence steady and calming. gojo leaned back against the nearby wall, keeping his distance but still within reach.

they both knew that pushing you to talk wouldn’t yield any results. this situation was delicate, and they didn’t want to make things worse. so, they waited, their gazes never leaving you, silently offering both comfort and the time you needed to gather your thoughts.

geto’s eyes traced over your form, taking in the disheveled state of your jujutsu high uniform, the fabric stained with dirt and specks of blood. his gaze lingered on your knuckles—bruised, swollen, and dotted with dried blood. the sight of your injuries stirred a mix of concern and quiet anger within him, not at you, but at whatever had driven you to this point.

“what the hell happened?” geto asked softly, his voice low but filled with a hint of restrained frustration, not directed at you but at the situation. he reached out, carefully taking one of your hands in his, inspecting the bruises with a delicate touch. his thumb grazed the torn skin gently, his brows furrowing as he noted the extent of the damage.

“you shouldn’t be out there pushing yourself like this,” he continued, his voice laced with worry. geto’s usual calm demeanor was still there, but there was a distinct edge to his tone—he was deeply concerned. he glanced at gojo, who nodded subtly, the silent communication between them reflecting their shared unease.

“you’re still in your uniform,” geto pointed out softly, his gaze returning to your face. “have you been training all this time?” his eyes searched yours, filled with quiet understanding. despite the softness in his voice, his grip on your hand was firm, grounding you, making sure you knew he was there.

geto’s thumb continued to brush lightly against your bruised knuckles, a silent promise of comfort and protection. he didn’t push for answers, didn’t demand an explanation. instead, he just stayed, his presence calm and steady, offering you a quiet space to breathe and let go. he understood that right now, the best thing he could do was simply be there, ready to support you however you needed.

gojo sat quietly, watching the interaction between you and geto with a mixture of concern and relief. he was glad you were with someone he trusted wholeheartedly. he knew that geto had a way of making people feel safe, and right now, you needed that more than anything.

he observed the way geto touched you, his hands gentle and considerate. he could see the worry etched in the raven-haired sorcerer'a eyes, the protective edge in his voice. it was clear that geto deeply cared, and it made gojo feel somewhat more at ease.

after a while, the tears stopped, not because the weight had lifted or the pain had lessened, but simply because you were too exhausted to keep crying. the emotional toll had drained every bit of energy from your body, leaving you feeling hollow and numb. your breathing steadied, but your eyes remained red and puffy, your face marked with tear stains that you didn’t bother to wipe away.

you glanced down at your bruised knuckles still held gently in geto’s grasp. the ache was a dull reminder of the pain you were trying to drown out through sheer force. you took a shaky breath, trying to gather the shattered pieces of your composure, but even that felt like a monumental task.

“i'm fine,” you mumbled weakly, though it was clear that you were far from it. your voice was hoarse, a faint tremble still lingering in your words. you pulled your hand slightly away from geto’s hold, feeling a mix of embarrassment and frustration at your own vulnerability. you hated showing this side of yourself, hated feeling so exposed and raw in front of them, even if they were the people you trusted the most.

but despite everything, the presence of both gojo and geto was oddly comforting. their silent support, the way they just stayed with you without demanding answers or forcing you to talk—it was more than you could have asked for. you leaned back against the headboard, closing your eyes as fatigue settled heavily in your bones.

“thanks…” you whispered, barely audible, but it was the closest you could come to acknowledging how much their presence meant to you. you were still too worn out to express it fully, but in this quiet moment, surrounded by the soft hum of their breathing and the warmth of their company, you felt a flicker of solace.

geto's grip on your hand tightened slightly at your mumbled attempt to wave them off. he shared a glance with gojo, his eyes filled with understanding. they both knew that you were far from fine, no matter how much you tried to deny it, but neither of them called you out on it.

he continued to hold your hand gently, his thumb running soothing circles against your skin. geto leaned in slightly, his voice barely above a whisper, “we're not going anywhere, y/n. no matter how much you try to push us away.”

gojo knelt down in front of you, his usual playful demeanor replaced with a rare, genuine softness. his eyes, usually so full of mischief, now held only concern as he met your gaze. he could see the exhaustion etched across your face, the way your body slumped as if the weight of everything had finally become too much. he reached out, his hand hovering just above your knee, not wanting to overwhelm you but offering a touch of reassurance.

"hey," gojo's voice was gentle, almost coaxing, as if trying to soothe a skittish animal. "why don’t you take a shower? it'll help you relax, and then we can clean up those bruises." his tone was tender, lacking the usual teasing lilt; it was clear that his only priority was to make you feel even a little bit better.

geto, who had been silently watching from the side, finally released your hand with a soft squeeze, a silent promise that he wasn’t letting go for good. he stood up, moving quietly to gather a fresh set of clothes, a new towel, and some essentials from his neatly organized closet. he returned, placing the items beside you with care, his movements deliberate and unhurried.

"you can use my stuff," geto offered, his voice as soft as the quiet room around you. "everything's clean, and it’s all yours for as long as you need." his eyes lingered on yours, the quiet intensity in them offering comfort that words alone couldn’t convey.

the room was filled with a comforting silence, a quiet understanding shared between the three of you. gojo’s hand still hovered close, waiting for you to take that first step, while geto stood nearby, ready to help in any way he could. they were giving you space, but at the same time, making it clear that they were there, unwavering and steadfast in their support.

you glanced between gojo and geto, their quiet patience somehow making the knot in your chest loosen just a bit. the gentle concern in their eyes, the way they hovered close but not too close, made you feel a small flicker of comfort amidst the exhaustion weighing you down.

“okay…” you mumbled softly, barely above a whisper, your voice laced with a mix of fatigue and reluctant acceptance. you didn't have the energy to keep fighting them, and a part of you knew they were right—you needed to take care of yourself, even if it was just a shower and some clean clothes.

you gave them a small nod, a silent acknowledgment of their efforts to help. “thanks,” you added, your voice still quiet but sincere. though it wasn’t much, it was the closest you could get to showing them that you appreciated their presence, their gentle persistence, and the way they were there for you without asking for anything in return.

gojo and geto exchanged a quick glance, relief flickering in their eyes at your begrudging agreement. they had both expected you to resist more, but it seemed that you were too exhausted to keep fighting.

“good.” gojo smiled slightly, his hand moving to rest on your knee as he spoke, “we'll be right here when you get out. take as long as you need.” his voice was gentle, lacking the usual playful edge.

geto nodded in agreement, his eyes softening as they met yours. “we're not leaving,” he reaffirmed, his voice firm yet comforting. you quietly stood up, your movements slow and a bit unsteady as the exhaustion continued to weigh heavily on you. you glanced at both of them, taking in their reassuring expressions and the way they seemed to have silently vowed to stay by your side. there was something oddly comforting in knowing that, despite everything, they weren’t going to leave.

without saying a word, you made your way to the bathroom, your footsteps barely making a sound against the floor. you could feel their eyes on you as you closed the door behind you, the quiet click of the latch sealing you in a small, private space where you could finally breathe without holding everything in.

standing in front of the mirror, you caught your reflection—bruised, worn out, and drained. it was hard to look at yourself, but you pushed down the urge to break down again. you let out a shaky breath, turning on the shower and letting the sound of running water fill the room, drowning out the turmoil in your head. as the steam began to rise, you slipped out of your jujutsu high uniform and stepped under the warm stream, hoping that, at least for a moment, the water could wash away some of the heaviness clinging to you.

gojo and geto remained in the bedroom, listening to the sounds coming from the bathroom. the water rushing through the pipes and the soft splash against your skin was all they could hear, and it made both of them feel even more worried than before.

gojo fidgeted with the sleeve of his shirt, his foot tapping a steady rhythm against the floor. he wanted to barge into the bathroom and check on you, but he knew that would only cross a boundary.

geto sat on the edge of the bed, his gaze fixed on the bathroom door with a look of concern etched across his face. he turned to gojo, his tone sharp but laced with worry. “okay, what the fuck is happening? is she okay?”

gojo sighed, his expression serious as he leaned against the wall. “i found her training alone. she was pushing herself way too hard, like she was trying to burn out all the pain or something. her knuckles were bruised, and she was on the edge of collapsing. she clearly needed a break, but she wouldn’t admit it.”

geto's eyebrows furrowed as he listened to gojo's explanation, his expression becoming even more troubled. he knew you well enough to know that pushing yourself to the brink was your way of coping when things got rough, but this felt like you were going too far even for your standards.

“did she say anything at all? what set her off like this?” geto questioned, his voice betraying the worry that was gnawing at him. gojo rubbed the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable. “not really. she was just... pushing herself too hard. i tried to talk to her, but she was so set on keeping her distance.”

geto's gaze sharpened, his concern turning into frustration. “why didn’t you stop her from doing this?”

gojo’s eyes widened slightly, and he whispered, almost defensively, offended by the accusation from his friend, “she was going to punch me in the face! I was scared shitless. i mean, seriously, i almost peed myself.”

geto looked at him with a mix of disbelief and amusement. “you’re an idiot,” he said with a sigh, though his tone carried a note of exasperation. gojo protested with a pouting tone, his pride clearly stung by geto's words, “hey! i am not an idiot. just because i was trying to avoid getting decked by her doesn’t mean i’m stupid.”

geto rolled his eyes playfully, a slight smirk tugging at his lips, though the concern still weighed heavily on his mind, “well, you could’ve still done something instead of just standing there like a dumbass.” gojo scoffed, clearly offended by geto's remark. he gave geto a light smack on the chest with the back of his hand, his expression challenging and annoyed. he didn't say anything, but his frustration was evident.

geto glanced down at his chest where gojo had hit him, then returned the gesture with a similar smack, his frown deepening and his eyebrows knitting together. the silent exchange was a mix of annoyance and camaraderie, a way of expressing their frustrations while still showing that they were on the same side.

gojo and geto continued their silent exchange of smacks, each one growing slightly harder than the last. their competitive nature flared up, even in moments as serious as this.

gojo's eyes sparkled with a competitive glint, and he let out a soft chuckle. “oh, it's like that, huh?” he said, a hint of challenge in his voice. geto rolled his eyes, but a corner of his mouth twitched upwards. “yeah, it‘s like that,” he retorted, his voice just as teasing as his counterpart’s.

you stepped out of the shower, your hair still wet and dripping onto the floor. as you watched gojo and geto in the midst of their playful exchange, don't even realize your appearance, you couldn’t help but let out a tired sigh.

“you two are stupid,” you said, your voice carrying a mix of annoyance and reluctant amusement. your narrow gaze and damp hair only added to the absurdity of the moment, making it clear you were both exasperated and slightly entertained by their antics.

gojo and geto's eyes darted to you upon hearing your voice. they both immediately stopped their playful smacking and guiltily looked away from each other.

gojo cleared his throat, trying to act nonchalant as if he wasn’t just engaged in a battle of pettiness a few seconds ago.

geto, on the other hand, was a bit more composed, though he wasn’t completely unapologetic. he shot gojo a knowing smirk before turning his attention back to you. “hey, you’re done!” gojo said a little too loudly, hoping to change the subject.

“you look better,” geto said softly, his eyes scrutinizing you from head to toe, taking in your damp hair and the exhaustion etched on your face.

gojo nodded in agreement, his usual playfulness completely gone for once. he took a step towards you, his eyes filled with a concern that he usually reserved for moments of true seriousness. “did it help at all?” he asked, his voice uncharacteristically soft.

you let out a soft sigh and nodded, murmuring a quiet “thanks” as you looked at them. the warmth in their eyes and their genuine concern made you feel a bit better despite the lingering exhaustion.

geto's eyes fell on you, noticing how his oversized clothes engulfed your figure, making you look even smaller and more vulnerable. the sight of you struggling to keep his pants from slipping down made him chuckle softly. he couldn't help but smile, finding the moment endearing despite the serious circumstances.

“you look like you’re drowning in my clothes,” he said with a gentle grin, his tone light and affectionate. when he noticed your still wet hair, he continued, “and you also look like a drowned rat,” he teased softly, the warmth in his voice contrasting with the playful comment. “let me help you with your hair. you can’t stay like this forever.”

gojo, who had been studying your tired frame, chuckled along with geto at the sight of you practically drowning in the oversized clothes. he knew you were always small, but the extra material hanging off of you only emphasized that fact. he smirked and jokingly chimed in, “yeah, you look like you’re being swallowed by that shirt and those pants.”

geto shot gojo a look that was simultaneously affectionate and annoyed before turning back to you. “seriously, you look ridiculous.” he teased gently, his voice still laced with concern. “come here.”

you groaned softly, shuffling over to them despite the heavy fabric. “do you have anything smaller?” you asked geto, your voice tinged with frustration as your feet dancing towards them who's still sitting at the edge of the bed. “i can’t wear this without having to hold it like i’m about to defend my life or something.”

geto chuckled at your exasperated tone and your exaggerated movements as you made your way over to him. he knew that his clothes would be too big on you, but he didn’t expect them to be THAT large.

he pushed himself off the bed, moving to stand closer to you. he reached out to adjust the collar of the shirt, a teasing smile on his face. “sorry, didn’t quite expect you to swim in it like that.” he quipped, enjoying the way you looked swamped in his clothes.

then, with a gentle yet authoritative tone, he said, “why don’t you sit on the floor for a moment? i’ll grab a towel to dry your hair.” you let out a dramatic sigh as you sat down on the floor in front of the bed, gojo moved from the bed to join you, his gaze shifting from playful to more attentive. he took in how you looked much better than before, despite still showing signs of exhaustion and vulnerability.

gojo’s eyes softened as he noted how much more relaxed you seemed, even if only slightly. he couldn’t help but tease, “you look like you’re a kid playing dress-up with her daddy’s clothes.” his voice was gentle, the playful edge softer than usual as he settled down in front of you on the floor.

geto returned with a towel, carefully sitting at the edge of the bed behind you. he began to gently towel-dry your damp hair, his movements steady and soothing. the room was filled with a comfortable quiet, the kind that spoke of trust and unspoken understanding.

gojo's soft jab at your appearance made you huff in mock indignance, but you didn't have the energy to engage much in retorts. besides, they were right; you did look like a kid playing dress-up.

as geto began to dry your hair with the towel, gojo reached out with his hand and gently tugged some of your still-damp locks. he chuckled lightly, “you’re a mess, you know that?” he teased, his tone affectionate despite the playful jab, “it's a wonder you can look this adorable while looking like such a disaster.”

you let out a soft sigh, your exhaustion still evident despite the gentle teasing. “yeah, yeah,” you murmured, your voice tired but carrying a hint of reluctant amusement. “i guess i’m just a walking disaster today.” you managed a small, weary smile, appreciating their attempts to lighten the mood even though you didn’t have much energy to respond.

geto, who was still behind you, silently focused on drying your hair, a soft smile on his face as he heard your response. he could sense the exhaustion in your voice and body, but he was glad to see that you still had a bit of humor left in you. gojo, sitting in front of you, chuckled and shook his head. “well, at least you're a cute disaster. not many people can pull that off.”

geto continued to silently dry your hair, his fingers gently working through the damp strands. he could feel how exhausted you were, the way your body slumped a bit beneath his touch showing just how drained you were. gojo, noticing your tired state, shifted closer to you. he reached out to gently poke your cheek, his tone softer now, “you look like you're about to fall asleep.“

you mumbled a tired, “sorry,” your eyes flickering as you struggled to stay awake. the warmth of geto’s touch and the gentle teasing from gojo made you feel a bit more at ease, even as you fought the heaviness of your exhaustion.

geto, sensing that you were on the verge of collapsing, moved more forcefully and quickly with the towel, trying to finish up drying your hair as soon as possible. he could see how your eyelids were starting to droop.

gojo also scooted closer, his smirk softening into a gentle expression of concern. he leaned forward slightly, his voice low and tender. “hey, you can't pass out on us. we're not done worrying about you yet.”

gojo's expression softened even more as he observed the red and swollen puffiness around your eyes. his thumb gently caressed the skin below your eyes, his touch tender and reassuring.

“you’re so stupid,” he murmured warmly, his voice filled with an affectionate frustration. “look how swollen your eyes are.” his smile was a mix of concern and fondness, showing just how deeply he cared. geto, who had finished drying your hair, looked down at your face. his gaze immediately took in the visible signs of strain; the exhaustion, the swollen eyes, the tension etched on your features. his heart weighed heavier as he saw how worn out you were.

“you really did a number on yourself,” he said, his voice low and filled with worry. he crouched down beside you, his eyes raking over your face as if trying to memorize every detail. you sat there in silence, taking in the comforting presence of gojo and geto as they attended to you. their concern and physical closeness, once a source of annoyance, now felt oddly soothing. you reflected on the year you had known them, remembering how their constant attempts to touch and tease you had become a familiar part of your daily life.

the small, seemingly insignificant gestures—poking, intertwining pinkies—had taken on a new meaning. their touch was now a comfort, a reassurance of their unwavering presence. you couldn't help but wonder if it was okay to feel this way, to find solace and a strange kind of warmth from the two strongest sorcerers, who had, despite their playful torment, always been there for you in their own way.

gojo, who was still in front of you, observed the subtle changes in your expression—the softening of your features, the flicker of emotions in your eyes. he could tell there was a lot going on in your head at the moment.

he leaned in a bit closer, his voice gentle yet playful, as he inquired, "penny for your thoughts?" his eyes searched your face, a mixture of curiosity and concern in his gaze. you blinked slowly, your tired mind finally focusing on the question. a small, sheepish smile tugged at your lips as you admitted, "actually, i'm just really hungry."

gojo's face lit up with a grin, clearly pleased to hear something as straightforward as hunger. "well, that’s an easy fix!" he said, his tone light and upbeat. "we’ve got snacks, and I’m pretty sure geto has something better in his fridge. what do you feel like eating?"

geto, still by your side, nodded in agreement. "yeah, let’s get you something to eat. you need to refuel after all that."

both of them started to move, eager to get you something to eat and help you feel better. gojo immediately jumped to his feet, his hands on his hips in his usual animated fashion. he rubbed his chin, contemplating the best possible snack for you.

"let's see, we've got chips," he began listing out the options, counting on his fingers, "chocolate bars, cookies, oh, and a bunch of junk food. but I think geto's fridge might have something healthier."

geto chuckled and got up as well, walking over to his mini fridge in the room. "yeah, we've got fruits, veggies, some leftovers, etc. anything you prefer?" you let out a soft, tired laugh at their enthusiasm. "anything's fine," you said quietly, appreciating their efforts. "just... whatever you think is best."

you leaned back against the bed, feeling a bit more at ease with their comforting presence and the thought of getting something to eat. gojo, still standing near you, smiled, his eyes sparkling with amusement at your reply. he looked over at geto, who was rummaging through his fridge, and then back at you.

"that’s a dangerous thing to say with geto around," he teased. "he’ll probably shove a bunch of vegetables in a bowl and call it a snack."

geto shot him a playful glare from over the fridge door. “hey, fruits and veggies are good for you!” gojo and geto continued their lighthearted banter, completely engrossed in the contents of the mini fridge. they were focused on finding the perfect snack for you, occasionally exchanging jokes and comments about each other's food choices. the room was filled with their voices, punctuated by the occasional clink of containers.

unbeknownst to them, you had quietly curled up on the floor, your back resting against the bed frame. the exhaustion from earlier had taken its toll, and despite your earlier protests, you had succumbed to fatigue. your head was tipped back against the soft mattress, your body tucked in a fetal position, wrapped in the oversized clothes. the warmth of the room and the comforting presence of gojo and geto had lulled you into a deep sleep.

gojo and geto both turned around at the same time, their attention shifting from the fridge to the sight of you curled up on the floor. for a moment, they stood still, surprised by the sight of you asleep so soundly.

gojo’s eyes softened as he saw how peaceful you looked, his playful expression fading into something more tender. he walked over quietly, kneeling beside you, his usual teasing demeanor replaced with a gentle warmth. "well, look at that," he murmured softly, not wanting to disturb you. "you must’ve been more exhausted than we thought."

geto, still in front of the open fridge, took a moment to observe your sleeping form as well. his eyebrows furrowed slightly, a mix of concern and relief washing over him at the sight of your peaceful expression. he knew you were exhausted, but seeing you sleep so deeply on the floor wasn't what he was anticipating.

he closed the fridge and walked over to where gojo was, his steps soft. he kneeled down next to you as well, mirroring gojo's position and his concerned expression. "she really conked out," gojo mused quietly, his gaze still fixed on your sleeping face.

geto nodded in agreement, a small smile tugging at his lips. "she must’ve been wiped out."

gojo reached over and gently brushed a strand of hair off your forehead, his touch so light it was barely discernible. he looked up at geto, a hint of mischief returning to his eyes, "should we wake her?"

geto shook his head with a soft, reassuring smile. “no, let her sleep. she’s had a rough day.”

he moved carefully, avoiding any sudden movements that might wake you. gently, he scooped you up in his arms, cradling you with practiced ease. he felt the slight weight of you against him, and his expression softened further.

with a careful touch, he laid you down on his bed, arranging the blankets around you to keep you warm and comfortable. as he did, he glanced back at gojo, who had watched the entire process with a mix of curiosity and amusement. gojo stood and watched in silence as geto picked you up effortlessly, a small pang of something he couldn’t quite put into words going through his chest. he pushed it away, replaced it with a warm smile as he watched geto take care of you.

once you were settled comfortably on the bed, he looked over at geto, his tone playful again. "well, looks like you won the knight-in-shining-armor award this time," he quipped, folding his arms across his chest.

gojo leaned against the bed frame, his arms crossed and a small smirk on his face as he watched geto carefully place you on the bed.

he let out a small, suppressed chuckle, "being all soft and gentle there, suguru, i almost forgot you have a soft side."

geto shot him a playful glare, his voice filled with mock defensiveness, "i’m always gentle." gojo’s smirk widened into a full-fledged grin, clearly enjoying teasing geto about this.

"sure, you’re always gentle," he agreed, his tone dripping with sarcasm. "i remember you being particularly gentle during training the other day when you nearly strangled me for being two minutes late."

he chuckled, his eyes sparkling with mischief.

geto let out a huff of annoyance, his eyes narrowing at the memory of that training session. he knew he could be intense when it came to training, but gojo always had a way of getting under his skin.

"that’s different," he argued, his tone still playful. "that’s training, not… this. you know." he gestured towards you, asleep on his bed, emphasizing the difference between the two scenarios. gojo's grin grew wider, enjoying the familiar banter between them. he leaned back against the bed frame, getting more comfortable.

he chuckled, "yeah, you’re right, it’s different. with training, you’re the one usually giving the beat downs. but this," he gestured at you, "is something else. can’t really go around strangling someone who’s asleep now, can you?" geto rolled his eyes at gojo's comment, a smirk of his own forming on his face. "yeah, yeah, save the smartass comments for later," he retorted. "besides, it's not like you’re the epitome of gentle either. remember that time you slammed me into a wall during a sparring match to prove a point?"

gojo let out a bark of laughter, remembering that sparring session vividly. "oh, i remember," he teased, his eyes glinting with mischief. "you were just being stubborn and not listening. i had to get your attention somehow."

he looked at geto, a challenge in his eyes, "besides, you got me back by tripping me later and pinning me down. that wasn’t exactly gentle, was it?" geto rolled his eyes as gojo’s laughter filled the room. he gave gojo a sharp kick on the shin, the movement quick and precise. "always so fucking loud," he grumbled under his breath.

he turned his attention back to you, checking to make sure that gojo’s boisterous laughter hadn't disturbed your sleep. seeing that you were still peacefully resting, he let out a quiet sigh of relief and returned his focus to making sure you were comfortable.

gojo let out an exaggerated yelp at the kick to his shin, wincing dramatically. "ow, ow, ow," he pouted, rubbing the spot where geto had kicked him. "you always gotta make the point with violence, don’t you?"

he watched geto as he went back to checking on you, a mix of amusement and admiration in his eyes. he had been about to retort, but seeing how geto was being so gentle and careful with you caused him to pause.

he observed geto in silence for a moment, watching how he arranged the blankets around you, his movements gentle as he made sure you were comfortable. there was a subtle shift in the way gojo looked at geto now, his usual playful demeanor replaced with a more quiet contemplation.

after a moment, he spoke up, his tone softer than usual, "you’re really good with her, you know." geto, caught slightly off-guard by gojo’s change in tone, paused his movements to look at him. he looked at gojo for a moment, a flash of surprise in his eyes, before responding.

“well, i’m just making sure she’s comfortable,” he said, his voice also softer. he reached down to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear before returning his gaze to gojo, a hint of a smile on his face.

gojo, noticing the small, tender gesture, felt that strange pang in his chest again. geto and gojo quietly observed you, their eyes taking in the peaceful expression on your face as you slept. the room was filled with a different kind of energy now, the playful banter between them replaced by a quieter, more contemplative atmosphere.

the silence was interrupted by gojo, his voice a touch lower than usual. "how’d you learn to be so gentle, anyway?" he asked, genuine curiosity in his tone. he looked over at geto, his eyes studying his profile. geto glanced over at gojo, his eyebrows raising slightly at the unexpected question. he thought for a moment before answering.

"well, it’s not like i’ve been a brute all my life," he said, a hint of humor in his voice. he leaned back slightly, leaning against the wall beside the bed.

"i just... pick up on things, i guess," he continued, his gaze returning to you, his features softening a bit. "people are different. some need a rougher approach, some need a gentler touch." gojo, leaning against the bed frame, considered geto's words. there was a lot he could tease geto about - his rough demeanor, his directness, the fact that he looked like he could intimidate just about anyone - but gojo found himself wanting to hear more.

"yeah, you've always been pretty observant," he mused, his eyes flickering between geto and you.

a moment of silence passed before he spoke up again, his tone a bit quieter. "but with her, you seem more... i don’t know, tender. more careful." geto paused, reflecting on gojo's observation. there was a truth to his words. while he could be rough and strict with others, with you, it was different. he found himself being more patient, more understanding, more... tender.

he looked back at you, his eyes tracing over your features, before returning his gaze to gojo.

"i guess," he said slowly, "it’s different with her. i don’t know. i just... feel the need to be gentler, more careful. it’s automatic, i suppose." gojo, listening intently, watched as geto's gaze returned to you, his words hanging in the air.

the usual playful banter about geto's demeanor he had in mind faded to the background as he focused on the current conversation. he felt a tug at his chest, a strange mixture of curiosity and something else he couldn't quite identify.

he looked at geto, his eyes holding his gaze for a few seconds before he responded, his voice almost a whisper. "automatic, huh?" gojo paused for a moment, letting the silence settle between them again before continuing.

"why, though?" he asked, his voice soft. "why do you feel the need to be gentler with her? what makes her different from anyone else?" there was a hint of genuine interest in his tone, mixed with something else he didn’t quite understand. geto, feeling the weight of gojo's question, took a moment to respond. he was so used to teasing and bantering with gojo that serious conversations like this were almost foreign. but he knew that beneath gojo's usual bluster, there was a depth to him that many overlooked.

he looked back at you, considering how to put his thoughts into words. finally, he turned back to gojo, his voice measured and quiet.

"i don't know. she just... makes me want to be gentler, i guess. she's different." gojo, hearing geto's response, felt another pang in his chest, stronger than before. he had expected a snarky remark or a sarcastic reply from geto, but getting a genuine response from him threw him off.

he shifted his position on the bed, leaning forward with his arms resting on his knees, his eyes never leaving geto's face. he studied his expression, trying to decipher what lay beneath it.

"what do you mean 'she's different'?" he pressed, his eyes not leaving him. gojo's gaze was fixed on geto, his usual demeanor replaced with a rare moment of seriousness. he knew there had to be more to how geto saw you than just wanting to be gentler with you. there was something deeper, something geto wasn’t saying outright.

he leaned forward even further, making sure geto couldn’t look away. his voice, still soft but firm, broke the silence. "come on, suguru. be honest. what makes you want to be gentler with her?" a moment passed before he added another question, his voice even lower, "why does she make you want to be gentler with her?"

gojo was acutely aware of your presence in the room, and he couldn't help but feel a strange mixture of curiosity and something more as he interrogated geto. he knew he shouldn't be pushing the subject, but the need to understand geto's sudden shift in demeanor towards you gnawed at him.

geto paused, his gaze momentarily shifting away from gojo as he recalled that night. his expression softened, a distant look in his eyes as he thought back to that quiet moment in the park.

"remember that night when we forced her to sneak out of the dorm?" he began, his voice quieter now, almost reflective. "you asked her what she really wanted, and she said she wants a gentle love." he let out a soft sigh, his shoulders relaxing slightly. "i guess that's why."

the memory washed over them—sneaking out late at night, the thrill of breaking the rules, and then the calm that settled when they lay together on the grass. you were sandwiched between them, the cool night air pressing against your skin as you stared up at the stars. geto and gojo had been teasing each other, like always, but then gojo asked that question, and everything stilled.

you had spoken softly, your voice tinged with a quiet yearning that left them both silent for once. you told them about wanting a gentle love, something tender to counter the harshness you’d known all your life. it was a rare moment of vulnerability, one that etched itself into both their minds.

gojo and geto were transported back to that night at the park, the memory vividly replaying in their minds. he could still remember the way the night air felt on his skin, the way you were nestled between them, the quiet yearning in your voice as you described wanting a gentle love.

gojo's usual smirk faded, replaced by a solemn expression as the weight of your words settled over him. he looked over at you, fast asleep on the bed, a different kind of emotion stirring within him.

he turned back to geto, his voice quiet. "you've been gentle with her ever since, because you’re trying to give her the gentle love she said she wanted," gojo finished gojo’s sentence, his tone carrying a hint of realization.

gojo continued to watch you on the bed, his eyes studying your sleeping form. the usual air of arrogance and confidence he always put on was replaced by a more contemplative expression.

"so you’ve been gentle with her all this time... because you’re trying to give her what she’s never had before," he repeated, the words slowly sinking in. geto could sense a subtle change in gojo's demeanor. his eyes narrowed slightly, trying to read the expression on gojo's face. he couldn't quite place it, but he knew that look.

"what is it?" he asked, folding his arms across his chest. "you've got that look."

gojo shook his head slightly, dismissing the question, "it’s nothing."

geto raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying gojo's answer. he stepped closer to him, his gaze unwavering. "come on, you know you can’t fool me." gojo's lips curled into a slight frown as geto stepped closer to him, scrutinizing his face. he tried to maintain his usual air of indifference, but he knew geto could see right through it.

he let out an exaggerated sigh, "ugh, fine. you really know how to nag, don't you?"

he leaned back on the bed frame, folding his arms across his chest.

"i was just thinking about what you said," he admitted reluctantly. he continued to watch you on the bed, his thoughts conflicted. gojo knew he was being uncharacteristically quiet, but there was something about this whole revelation that had thrown him off. he glanced over at geto, who was watching him intently, waiting for him to continue.

"it’s just... i never expected you of all people to be the one to try and give her what she wants," he mumbled, his voice low. geto's eyes narrowed slightly at gojo’s comment, a hint of defensiveness flaring up. his tone was sharp but not angry, more curious and challenging as he shot back, "why? you want to be the one to give her that?"

his gaze bore into gojo’s, searching for something in his expression. there was a tension in the air, one that was charged with unspoken words and lingering feelings. geto wasn’t sure what he expected gojo to say, but he needed to know if they were on the same page, if they both wanted the same thing for you—or if it was something more.

geto’s fingers twitched at his sides, and his jaw tightened as he waited for gojo's answer, the silence between them thick and heavy. despite their banter and their occasional rivalry, this was different. this was about you, and he needed to understand where gojo stood, even if it meant confronting something neither of them was entirely prepared to face.

gojo met geto’s gaze with an equal intensity, the tension crackling between them. there was something different about this moment, something deeper and far more complex than their usual banter.

he held geto’s gaze, the words stuck in his throat for a moment before he forced them out, his voice almost a growl.

“maybe,” he finally admitted, the confession barely above a whisper. “maybe i do.” the silence that followed was deafening as the words hung in the air. gojo's heart pounded in his chest, the sudden vulnerability leaving him feeling raw. he rarely allowed himself to be this open, this exposed, but there was something about this moment that demanded honesty.

he looked back at geto, his expression more guarded now, trying to read his reaction as he waited for his response. geto’s eyes widened a fraction at gojo's confession, the words settling in the air like a heavy weight between them. he hadn’t expected that answer, yet deep inside, he knew there was a hint of truth behind it.

he studied gojo, his body language betraying his own conflicting emotions. his jaw was clenched, his shoulders tense, and his hands were balled into fists at his sides.

"why?" he finally asked, his voice low and strained. "why do you want to be the one to give her that?" gojo’s sigh was heavy with resignation as he looked at geto. “come on, suguru,” he said, his voice carrying a mix of frustration and vulnerability. “you know better than anyone that I’ve liked her since the start, and I also know better than anyone that you like her too.”

his eyes were locked onto geto’s, a serious expression softening the usual playful glint. “it’s not just about who gets to give her what she wants. it’s about what’s best for her. and if you think I’m willing to back down just because you’ve got this idea that you’re the only one who can be gentle with her, you’re mistaken.”

gojo’s tone was firm but edged with a subtle pleading, as if he were trying to convey that their feelings were intertwined and that there was a shared responsibility in making you happy. his confession was raw, stripped of the usual bravado and pretense.

geto’s usually composed demeanor crumbled somewhat in the face of gojo’s frankness. he hadn’t expected him to lay everything out so plainly.

he clenched his jaw, the conflicting emotions swirling in his eyes. a part of him felt defensive, threatened even, by the idea of gojo wanting to be the one to give you what you wanted. but another part of him recognized the truth in gojo’s words.

“i’m not saying I’m the only one who can be gentle with her,” he muttered, his voice tight. he turned away, looking over at you on the bed, his expression a mix of frustration and contemplation.

“but that doesn’t mean I’m going to back down either,” he added, his tone resolute. “if i can be the one to give her what she wants—what’s best for her—i’m going to do it, even if that means competing against you.”

the tension between them was still heavy, their feelings and desires all mixed up into an emotional maelstrom. gojo met his eyes again, his expression serious. “so we’re at an impasse,” he said, his voice betraying a hint of resignation. “both of us like her, both of us want to be the best for her.”

he paused, his eyes flickering between you and geto. “what now?” geto remained silent for a moment, his gaze fixed on your peaceful side profile. he took in the sight of you sleeping so soundly, the exhaustion from earlier seeming to have melted away. his thoughts were clearly racing, processing the weight of gojo's words and the implications they carried.

gojo, noticing geto's contemplative silence, broke the quiet with a soft, hesitant question. "do you think maybe we could ask her to be with us?" his voice was gentle, but there was an undercurrent of vulnerability in his tone. he looked at geto with a mixture of hope and uncertainty, clearly aware of how complicated the situation was.

geto’s eyes widened slightly at gojo’s suggestion, seemingly taken aback. he hadn’t expected the conversation to take this turn, but he found himself thinking it through, weighing the possibilities in his mind.

“you…you want to both be with her at the same time?” he repeated, his voice quiet.

he looked back at you on the bed, the thought of sharing you with gojo causing a strange mixture of emotions to stir in his chest. gojo watched geto’s reaction closely, his own expression revealing a mix of apprehension and seriousness. he took a deep breath, his gaze fixed on geto.

“can you bear the thought of her being with me, suguru?” gojo asked quietly, his voice carrying an edge of vulnerability. “because i know i wouldn’t be able to handle it if she was with you and not me.”

geto felt a pang in his chest at gojo’s question. the thought of you being with either of them and not the other was enough to send a strange mix of jealousy and fear coursing through his veins.

he clenched his jaw, his emotions at war with each other.

“i...i don’t know,” he answered honestly, his voice strained. “but do you think she’d even go for it?” gojo shrugged slightly, his eyes drifting towards your sleeping form. he hadn’t thought too much about how you might react to their proposition.

“it’s worth asking, isn’t it?” he said quietly, his tone laced with both curiosity and trepidation. “if we’re both on board…we should at least bring it up with her, right?” geto nodded slowly, a mixture of hesitation and intrigue on his face. he had to admit, the idea was tempting, despite the potential complications.

“i suppose you’re right,” he agreed, his voice tinged with a hint of nervousness. “but we have to approach this carefully. we can’t just spring it on her out of the blue.” gojo rolled his eyes, a slight smirk playing at his lips. “yeah, i know that,” he said, his tone a mix of exasperation and amusement. “i just wanted to make sure we’re on the same page. let’s figure out how to bring this up with her without making it weird.”

geto chuckled despite himself, amused at gojo’s sarcastic response. he let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair as he thought.

“well, the first step is figuring out if she’s even open to the idea,” he pointed out, his brow furrowing slightly. “how do we even go about asking her that without sounding like a pair of idiots?”

gojo chuckled, shaking his head slightly. “oh, come on, you know she already thinks we’re a pair of idiots,” he said with a teasing grin. “at least we can be idiots with a plan. let’s just be honest with her and see how she feels. it’s better than trying to play it cool and making things more complicated.” geto couldn’t help but smile at gojo’s comment. he had a point—you did often regard them as idiots, albeit endearingly.

he nodded, a hint of determination in his eyes. “you’re right,” he agreed. “we should be straightforward with her. no beating around the bush. we ask her how she feels about the idea of being with us…both of us…at the same time.” he paused, still a little wary about how you might react.

as you slept soundly, geto and gojo continued their quiet planning. they huddled together, whispering to avoid disturbing you. their plan was to approach the topic with care, ensuring that your well-being and comfort remained their top priority. their conversation was hushed, the both of them aware of not wanting to disturb your well-earned rest.

they made it a point to emphasize the importance of considering your comfort and well-being in their approach. they didn’t want to spring this complex matter on you unexpectedly, after all. they needed to find the right time and the right way to discuss it with you.

[babygorewhore]

•Be good for me•

Cooper Adams x fem reader!

Requested by @horrorpiggy I gave it my own spin so I really hope you enjoy!!!!

A harmless crush on single father Cooper Adams wasn’t in your plan. But after being invited to a concert one Saturday afternoon, everything changes.

Warnings! Age gap! Cooper is 45 and reader is 25! Depicting anxiety and panic attack! Blacking out! Daddy kink! Oral!Fem receiving! Finger sucking! Unprotected sex! Choking! Size kink! Praise! Light ish degrading but not really? Slight hint of his second life at one point. Multiple orgasms! Barely proofread!

Spending a Saturday with a recently widowed father and his teen daughter wasn’t exactly your typical weekend. But if you were being honest with yourself, you’d seize any opportunity to spend time with Cooper.

It was just a crush. One that started out because he saved you and your parent’s life from a fire last year. He had effortlessly pulled you over his shoulder and hauled you out of the burning apartment while you were half unconscious.

It was inconvenient in many ways. One, he was twenty years older than you. Two, he had two children and three his wife had been brutally murdered a few months ago by the infamous serial killer the Butcher.

He seemed devastated. Not just for his own loss but the children. After he saved you from the fire, time had passed and you became an occasional babysitter for his son.

Obviously with a crush growing, you loved the times you’d see him but it felt wrong. At his wife’s funeral, his children hugged you and thanked you for being there.

Lady Raven was a popular artist that was constantly playing at his house. Your knees pressed together as you sat in the back of the car, watching Riley and Cooper interact.

You looked away when you caught him look at you through the rearview mirror.

“I just want to say; thanks again for coming with us. I know you’re busy with classes and your part time job. But it means a lot to us.” His deep voice sent shivers down your spine but you gave him a smile.

“Oh! No problem. Thank you for even inviting me.” You blushed as his dark eyes scanned over you as you all fell into silence while he parked.

It was a little difficult to keep up with him as you three jogged to the stadium and maneuvered around the growing crowd of people. It made you feel nervous to be in such tight spaces with others.

As time went by, you noticed Cooper growing more agitated and tense but he was trying to force positivity for Riley. Your heart started to accelerate as the music echoed. You cleared your throat as heat warmed you. The black shirt was extra long, reaching your knees covering your shorts.

Your vans squeaked as the light shifted to red and the cheering young girls screamed. The sounds throbbed in your ear as you rapidly blinked.

“Are you okay?” You gasped at the close proximity of Cooper. He was bending down closer to you with a concerned look on his handsome face.

“Yeah! I’m just a little nervous around crowds.” You force yourself to laugh but he doesn’t return the expression.

“You look like you’re about to collapse. Maybe we should find somewhere more relaxed.” You look at Riley, who was losing her mind and jumping around. You shook your head, feeling guilty.

“I couldn’t pull you away. She’s having so much fun.”

Cooper remained silent and you faced the stage again. Your body grew more tense as the minutes passed and your hands were shaking. Your mouth went dry as a few shoulders bumped into you as a guest artist walked through the aisle.

You tried to remain calm but the staff came and told you three that Riley would be the dream girl. She would be going on stage. You would have to go in front of everyone.

Your legs trembled as you followed them closely. The eyes on you made you feel even worse. The bright lights, your clothes suddenly felt too tight as you walked up the stairs. It took all your strength to remain standing as Riley finished the section of the concert with Lady Raven.

You jolted as a large hand came and settled across your forehead. Cooper’s head was tilted and he narrowed his eyes at you. “You’re burning up but you’re shivering. I think we need to find a place for you to sit down.”

Riley was walking towards you both when your eyesight finally faded.

You were pulled off your feet. You could feel what was going on but you weren’t able to open your eyes yet. Cooper was carrying you, his muscular arms encasing you against his chest. You came to as he sat you down in a chair. A few medical members were gawking at him as he knelt down, holding a compress to your face.

“You blacked out. You were having a panic attack and you were about to fall. Just stay still, okay?”

You don’t have the energy to speak yet but Cooper moves a stray hair out of your face and leans in closer. “You need something with calories. You haven’t eaten all day, I bet.” He gives you a knowing look.

“Is she your girlfriend?” One of the nurses ask and you feel sobered immediately. But to your surprise, Cooper doesn’t say no to her.

Instead he stands up, swiftly returning with a small box of juice.

He presses the straw to your lips and encourages you to take a sip. “Atta girl, good job. You’ll be feeling better in a few minutes. Glad I kept an eye on you, sugar.” The term made your pulse quicken.

“Is there any way we can get out of here quickly? I don’t think she needs a hospital but I do want to take her home.” Cooper asks the nurses and you faintly hear them tell him a way out peacefully.

“I don’t want to be a problem.” You whisper and Cooper clicks his tongue.

“Isn’t she the sweetest? Doesn’t want to cause trouble.” Cooper reaches down and sets a hand on your shoulder.

“I’m okay, I can stand now.” You insist but he cups your waist. Your tongue feels heavy in your mouth as you feel his sweater pressed against you, his lips lingering next to your ear.

“Always so insistent. But you’re gonna let daddy help you. Aren’t you, little one?”

You could have melted right then and there. You almost sure you were fucking dreaming but the dangerous look in his eye was all too real. His graveled voice was alluring and made your core tighten.

You were speechless as he walked next to you still holding your torso. It was surreal.

“Why are there so many police officers?” Riley asked and Cooper shrugged.

“Nothing to worry about. We’re getting out of here. Can’t have another blackout, can we?”

“Please, I really don’t want to intrude further.” You pleaded as Cooper ushered you into the house.

“Shh, none of that. I insist. I’m not going to take a chance that you fall alone in your apartment. You’re going to stay here tonight. Besides, the kids love having you here.” He seemed electrified as he pressed his palm to your back.

“You’re going to eat something and then rest. It’s the least I can do since you help me all the time.”

You didn’t bring up the comment he made earlier but you did notice the way he had a hint of a smirk the entire evening. He seemed off on the ride home. The way he gripped the steering wheel made his arm quiver.

Cooper never showed a hint of anger. He was always patient. Sometimes silly with the kids but today there was something different.

Your body was covered by a blanket on the couch a few hours later. Riley and her brother were upstairs in bed. Cooper had disappeared a few minutes ago, promising to come back soon.

Unable to stay still anymore, you made your way to the spare bedroom and groaned. You didn’t have any clothes to sleep in and you rubbed your face with your hands.

“You always do that when you’re frustrated.” You shrieked and spun around.

Cooper stood in the doorway. His shoulders were tense, fingers curled into his fists and he closed the door behind him. His hair was smoothed back.

“You scared the fuck out of me.” You breathed.

“There’s not much I can do about that habit I’m afraid. Being able to walk quietly took some practice. How are you feeling?” He leaned against the wall and your gaze flickered over his face.

“I’m okay. I just want to apologize. I’m sorry if I made the concert stressful. Sometimes my anxiety gets out of control. I should have just found a way home. I didn’t mean to cause any extra stress-“ You rambled on and Cooper's lips quirked into a smile.

“You have nothing to apologize for. In fact, it worked out in a way. We didn’t have to go through the police. All thanks to you.” He took a step forward and your stare widened.

“Cooper. Are you alright?”

His movements continued until his shoes were against your bare feet. “I’ve never been better, sweetheart. I just want to ask you to do something to me.” He rolled his neck before his hands settled on your shoulders.

“I want you to be a good girl tonight. Can you be a good girl for me, little one? You're gonna let me take care of you?”

Your mouth parted and he took the opportunity to swipe his thumb across your lower lip.

“Don’t act surprised. I see the way you look at me. And I really would appreciate it if you didn’t lie about it, baby doll.” You gasped and he gently touched your tongue. Sticking his thumb further in your mouth.

Your lips gently wrapped around and sucked. His eyes fluttered and he removed his hand. Cooper took the opportunity to grab the back of your head, pulling you up and he crushed his lips to yours.

He tasted sweet as his tongue darted in and swept over your teeth. It wasn’t too much. His experience obvious by the age gap as he backed you against the bed. Coopers strength was surprising as he easily pressed you down on the mattress. He nibbled your lip before pulling away and peppered kisses along your jaw. Your legs looped around his waist and your arms wrapped around his broad shoulders.

“You gonna let me eat that pretty pussy?” He questioned against your skin and you whined. Cooper trailed his lips down your chest, stomach and finally his thick fingers pulled down your shorts. He sucked in a sharp breath as he admired your underwear.

“Anyone ever done this to you?” He toyed with the waistband and you cleared your throat.

“Not-not really. They didn’t put any effort.” You stuttered.

Cooper peeled off your panties, exposing your pulsing cunt and he didn’t waste any further time. He shoved his face against your pussy, making you throw your head back. His tongue kitten licked your clit and then flattened. He slowly dragged it down and shoved it inside you. The feeling was overwhelming as you turned your head to the side, trying to suppress loud noises that were desperate to escape you.

“This is what you get for being a good girl,” Cooper praised, his hands holding your thighs apart as he spit on your cunt. He sucked your center into his mouth, your hips rolling as he moaned against you.

“You taste so good. Can’t get enough. I’m gonna make you cum on my face.”

He applied more pressure and enthusiastically licked your wetness. His nose was firm against your pussy and your nipples were so hard they hurt.

“Daddy I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum!” You managed and the uncoiling of your stomach sent a shock through your body. Your fingers sank into his hair, humping his jaw as Cooper continued to suck your clit.

It was overwhelming and he added to it by adding two fingers. He curled them deep and tears clouded your vision.

“Daddy-please-“ You whispered and he snarled. His enormous hands and brute strength aided his ability to effortlessly flip you over on your stomach.

Cooper pulled you to your knees, pushing your chest down so your ass was sticking in the air. He gave it a harsh slap and you heard his belt unbuckle. Your cunt was aching and cum smeared on your inner thighs. You felt the leather of the belt wrap around your throat but panic didn’t set in. It wasn’t tight enough to cause too much pain but it was pressure to keep you still.

“Do you know how long I’ve wanted you like this? Leashed like a god damn puppy? So eager to please me? I’m gonna fuck you until you can’t even see straight. You’re gonna be stuffed full of cum.” His filthy words made you groan.

Cooper ran the tip of his dick along your slit, his precum coating your clit. He pushed it into you and he held you up by the belt. Your body jerked as he thrusted his hips. You felt like splitting in the middle but all discomfort vanished as he toyed with your bud.

“I like seeing you fucking helpless. That’s my good girl. Taking my cock so well. Squeezing me so hard. Don’t worry, daddy’s not gonna pull out.” You rocked back into him in a harsh rhythm. He pounded into you almost anomalistically. His huge body caged you in and Cooper choking you only added to the pleasure.

“Cream on it. Fucking cream on my dick. I know you can.” He commanded and you cried as another orgasm neared.

“Tell me who’s in control, doll.” He ordered and you repeated the worse hoarsely.

Your second climax came and hit you like a storm. Cooper huffed and grunted as his cock twitched inside you and ropes of his cum sprayed your insides. It gave him more slip to fuck you through it.

He hauled you on his lap, letting go of the belt and he turned you to face him. Your thighs on either side as he set you on his dick. Cooper's eyes were black with lust as he palmed your tits.

“So greedy, keeping this pussy from me? You just fucking wait till I stop going easy on you. I have so much-so much I need to take out on you.” Your head lulled back as you bounced on his shaft.

Your hands balanced on his chest and your mouth hovered above his. “You feel so good,” You admitted and Cooper smiled hazily. His hands traveled and cupped the back of your ass. It would have normally embarrassed you that you weren’t able to last longer but it only a few minutes passed before another orgasm sent you over the edge.

“You look so god damn pretty. Even prettier than if you were-“ He jerked his jaw as you gently cupped his face. Cooper must have been surprised by your gentle display because he pressed a swift kiss to your palm.

“My sweet girl. Doing such a good job. I’m so proud of you for taking it,”

Tagging @xxbimbobunnyxx @redhead1180 @horrorpiggy @stillwjk-channie-lixie @waywardtigersandwich @id-rather-be-in-middle-earth @agirlthatreadsfanfics @rubyfruitjungle @r0se20 @cherryinterlude @the-ghost-code @wildgirllz @nemesyaaa @redpillbluepill @dumbass-sappho-stan @velvrei @faelvz @nightwingfilm @sararuno @oceanblvd111 @mooneylou

[pedgito]

𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐒𝐄 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐃𝐘 — one: beginnings | Joel Miller x reader

↝ masterlist | requests? | ao3 | update blog | fic rec | ko-fi

chapter summary | You're dead weight, a burden on Joel's shoulders after the death of his daughter and the collapse of the world. But, if there's one person to challenge him, it was you.

author's note | this spurred from jo (@undercoverpena) and i, a conversation over kinks and wanting to explore them in separate chapters but somehow create a cohesive story and here we are. she spun for me and gave me a collection of beautiful kinks to try out. this is going to be BIG one for me, so if you plan on staying along for this ride, i love you so much.

chapter warnings | 18+, early outbreak, age gap (early 20s, mid 30s), canon character de*th, canon typical violence, m*rder tw, morally grey!joel with trust issues, tommy is buffer, use of weapons, weapon training, unjust decision making, reader is such a nuisance to joel, sex as a distraction, joel is so emotionally stunted he can't help it, awkward aftercare

word count —6k

SERIES MASTERLIST, PLAYLIST, AO3

You’ve never seen so much blood.

His shirt was soaked to his neck, expression blank and void as Tommy rounded the truck to open the door—it wasn’t the same one you’ve seen pull into their driveway for years now. It was new, unfamiliar. Joel’s weighed down, his arms straining as he heaves whatever he’s holding up in his arms, finally coming from around the door and into view. Her curls fell first, body limp in Joel’s arm as he held her close–it was Sarah. Little Sarah who you would babysit in high school for extra cash when the Miller brothers had to work a few extra jobs to pay the bills, little Sarah who always had the biggest smile on her face. Not so little anymore, years gone and passed as you graduated and went off to work some dead-end job to stay afloat in hopes that you could attempt to pay a college tuition.

But, that all seemed futile now. 

It was late September when the world ended—Joel’s birthday, you’d know that from the fact Sarah had mentioned it to you that morning as she checked the mail that Joel had forgotten from the day before. A normal day for you, for everyone else. But, for Sarah and many others, it was their last.

The neighborhood was quiet now, the hoard of freshly turned infected heading for the inner city and toward the noise, like one singular hivemind following a predetermined path. 

And your parents—they weren’t even here. They had left for vacation a week prior, spending the next two weeks out of the country, celebrating their anniversary far away from responsibility and the barrage of news from all over the world. But, they would come back to nothing. You couldn’t stay, you couldn’t wait around—it would get you killed; starvation, lack of resources, it would only get you so far. 

The infection was worldwide, incurable—it was the last thing you heard before the satellite on your television cut out, snuffing out any last bit of hope you had left.

In the midst of Joel’s mindless walk to the front door of his home, Tommy glances over his shoulder to survey, likely for more infected. But, he spots you.

His eyes squint slightly, like he’s seeing a vision of you. They widen as he realizes you’re real, you here—you were shaking, arms crossed over your chest and your fingers digging into your biceps as you hid by the shadow of your door.

Tommy knows that look, your eyes go wide but soften as he approaches. 

You can’t say you’ve held a conversation longer than five minutes with either of them, even after living next to them most of your life, but his hands are held up as he approaches and carefully, almost as if you were going to scurry away like a feral cat.

“You alright, honey?” His voice is quiet, a hushed whisper as he comes closer and stops a few inches, peering inside of your house and finding it empty, “Are they—did they—”

He looks over at you wearily and your fingers dig into your skin, peering over his shoulder and staring at the open door, Joel no longer in sight, “They left on a trip and I—I don’t,” You sigh through your nose, closing your eyes to blink away the stinging tears, “They’re dead either way, aren’t they?”

He doesn’t answer, but his hand reaches around to rub at your back and you fall into him easily.

“Sarah–” Tommy tenses up, pulling away slowly to look at you as you peer up at him, noticing the near permanent frown on your face, your expression unchanging as you attempt to process and fail—it wasn’t fair, none of it made sense, “is she dead?”

The sound of something fragile falling and breaking in Joel’s house startles you both, sending you both apart and rushing toward the house without thinking. The idea of being alone now was more fearful than anything else—no survival instinct, no plan or method to stay alive. You’d be dead by next nightfall if you stuck around though, that much you knew.

The sight sends your heart into your stomach. Joel was hunched over Sarah’s lifeless body, his arms sticky with blood—some of it dried and some of it not. There were a few broken picture frames on the floor at Sarah’s feet and you felt your breath catching in your throat, watching as Joel brushed her hair from her face and cried, silently.

“Joel,” Tommy begins, slow and careful, “we’ve gotta figure out a plan.”

“We’re buryin’ her first,” Joel tells him, “not leavin’ her like this.”

Tommy nods in understanding, looking over at you briefly.

“Listen, Joel…”

“She ain’t our problem, Tommy.” He bites harshly, resting Sarah down gently as he rose from his knees, “Kid’s got her own family.”

“Joel,” Tommy stresses, motioning toward you subtly—Joel looks reluctantly and he can see the fear, practically smelling it on you—it’s the last thing he needs right now, “they’re gone—can’t leave her here.”

“We can.”

“We won’t.”

You take a few careful steps back, quiet and timid, away from the brothers.

“Jesus, Joel,” Tommy moves in, blocking his brother’s face from view as you lingered near the open front door, staring out toward the street as you couldn’t bare the sight of Sarah’s body laying a few feet to your right, “she used to babysit Sarah—helped you out in a pinch a hundred times. I understand this—”

“This is my daughter—”

“She’s my niece too, goddammit—don’t try and spin this, Joel.” Tommy rocks on his heels, hands hugging his hips as his shoulders stretch out, broad and wide, “We bury her, we get our shit and we go–I’m not losing you, too. I will drag your ass out of here if I have to.”

There’s a sliver of Joel’s face that comes into view as he peers over Tommy’s shoulder at you, eyes dragging over you carefully before he returns to Tommy, “She’s ain’t worth the trouble.”

He’s completely tossing aside the fact that you were an adult, young but still—you sigh shakily, “I can carry my own weight, you know?”

He’s stoic, a long stretch of silence as Tommy stares him down, lingering and waiting for Joel to come to his senses, but even when he does—it’s forced.

“Then start loading the truck,” Joel tells you, “anything—food, water—”

“Yeah, I got it.” You respond in a pinched tone, trying to stifle your own emotions.

Joel doesn’t argue further, picking up Sarah with a sudden gentleness that returns at the sight of his daughter while Tommy disappears to the attached garage and you linger for a brief moment as Joel admires her, knowing that this was all he had. Knowing that eventually even this memory would fade over time.

His guard softens as he looks at her and you find that was the right time to speak more candidly.

“I’m sorry, Joel,” You tell him, your voice quiet as you approach and he looks at you briefly, acknowledging with a nod as you move beyond him and toward the kitchen, “she’s a sweet kid.”

His voice breaks but barely wavers, a subtle sign of emotion that he was suppressing deep down.

“She was.”

His departure after that is quiet, meeting Tommy at the backdoor as he reentered from the garage with the shovels and blanket in hand, a sorrowful look on his face that furrowed his brow.

They both worked silently in the backyard while you loaded up what you could. Their house was mostly scarce, knowing Joel was probably creeping up on a shopping day that would never come. There’s a few canned goods you manage to scavenge along with a decently untouched pack of water bottles and while you couldn’t brave the other houses in fear that something else might be lingering, you gather what you can from your own. 

By the time you’re closing up the truck bed they’re both walking toward you, a gun tucked away in both of their waistbands and a rifle in Joel’s free hand—his arms were cleaner, albeit still dirty.

He’d changed, rid himself of the bloody clothes and brushed past you silently, his eyes dark and empty. 

Tommy stops at your feet, offering up a knife sheathed in a leather casing that you could attach to your jeans, “Ain’t got another gun, but it’s somethin’.”

You nod slightly and take it from his grip, “Thank you,” You tell him, turning to find Joel waiting with the door open, expecting that you would climb into the middle as there was nowhere for you to go, unless the truck bed seemed like the better option—it didn’t.

It was blind trust, putting your life in the hands of both brothers. 

But, you had no choice. All that mattered was living.

—

And for Joel, the cost didn’t matter.

It’s jarring, frightening. His emotions are like a light switch—when on, he’s calm and able to hold small talk, but even that was forced and uneasy. But, when your supply dwindles down after a week or so of driving and camping in the deep brush of forest, you find what the light switch is like when it’s off.

It was a stranger, a helpless guy alone and clearly on the verge of death. All of you were on edge, the dwindling September heat still lingered into October and you had blew through your last bottle of water the night before, sweat dampening your clothes as you sifted through the aisles of the convenience store that was bare bones and empty by now but you were hoping, praying—but then you hear it and to Joel, it was prey. 

He yanks your knife from where it’s secured at your waist, so quick you barely even feel the tug as he carefully steps around the corner toward the counter, finding an older gentleman with feeble hands and energy that was dying out by the second. He was starving, dehydrated. But, so were you. And so was Joel.

“Joel, don’t.” You speak from behind him, “There’s another store in town. It’s bigger.”

“Hand it over,” Joel demands, the knife tucked away in his right hand behind his back as he held out his left, beckoning with his fingers as the man stared on, bottom lip trembling in fear as he squeezed at the plastic bottle, “now.”

There’s a moment of hesitation where the man begins to speak, shaking his head, but Joel is on him before he gets the chance, shoving the knife through the center of his throat—quick, quiet, efficient. You sigh deeply, knowing it was already coming. Joel wipes the blood away on the now dead man’s pants and snatches up the water bottle before he’s shoving it into your chest and sliding the knife back into the holster.

“You killed him,” Joel looks at you torsely, eyes half-lidded as he waits for you to continue, “you—you didn’t have to kill him, Joel.”

“You’re welcome,” He answers with finality, “Tommy’s waiting’, let’s go.”

You glance at the dead body with a grimace, the weight of it pulling down as the man slumped to the floor and his blood pooled closer and closer toward you. You step back quickly and follow after Joel who’s already ringing the bells on the door above the entrance.

“That was quick—no trouble?” Tommy asks when you return to the truck, climbing over Joel’s lap as he refuses to move, digging your knee into his thigh out of annoyance.

He takes it in stride, though. Doesn’t even react.

“No,” You lie easily, “Last one, though.”

You’ve learned to not speak on it—Joel’s quick tendencies for anger and bruteness. Hell, most of the time you could just ignore it, like now. Arguing never worked, Joel didn’t care enough.

Besides, you were just a waste of resources. Joel said it so often that it echoed in the back of your mind every time he slashed, stabbed, or gutted someone for something you needed, or wanted.

It started in small glimpses, you or Tommy could say a word, make a noise, and Joel’s brow would pinch together and the scowl on his face would deepen. 

And Tommy was objectively selfless, which bothered Joel more than it should—but given how things were, it made sense. Good karma wasn’t going to do anything for your conscience in a world that was based on self-preservation. In Joel’s mind, it was kill or be killed. And he always killed first. He learned not to take chances, hold out on good faith. It didn’t exist anymore.

And he didn’t just attack on his own behalf—he’s done it for you on a few occasions. You’ve never killed an infected, Joel always got the first hit in. Your knife would be at the ready, shaky in your grip and he would look over at you with dismay, knowing that if you did manage to have a shot you would ultimately miss. So, instead of coaching, he yanks the knife from your grip and plunges it into the skull of the infected. 

He hides his tendencies from Tommy well for a while—you always sensed Joel’s underlying itch for conflict after Sarah’s ultimate death and the few weeks you spend together on the road. You didn’t stay anywhere longer than a couple days, different cities throughout Texas as you made your way upstate. Utah, Boston, Pittsburg. Anywhere but here.

The early mornings in the forest after an uncomfortable sleeping arrangement—no rain meant sleeping in the bed of the truck or setting up camp in the one tent you had to share. But, when it did, the three of you would be forced to hunker down inside the four feet of truck cabin with nowhere to angle yourself but one of the brothers. Joel almost always shrugged you away, so by default, Tommy was the one you always chose. He didn’t seem to mind, thankfully.

Regardless, early mornings usually meant that Tommy would take his time teaching you a few things while Joel slept heavy in the truck, the low rumble of his snore heard as you both paused and Tommy readjusted the position of the knife in your grip.

“If you’re gonna hold it the way you gotta keep the dull side close to your arm,” He tightens your fist around the handle, “that way you ain’t accidentally cutting yourself with your own blade.”

You nod, squeezing down on your grip until it feels comfortable and Tommy leads your hand back toward you before guiding it through and back towards him slowly, “Always aim for the head on infected—right to the brain, kills ‘em instantly.”

You already knew that, but the reiterating is a nice reminder. 

Everything had a weakness.

“People,” Tommy starts hesitantly, “I mean, they’re livin’ and breathin’—if you let them close enough anywhere is gonna hurt them, but try to aim for the neck or the face.”

The stark image of Joel forcing the knife through the center of the man’s throat is heavy on your mind and Tommy pats on your arm as you lower it, but your eyes focus on his waist.

“Can you teach me how to shoot?”

Tommy looks at you wearily—not because he doesn’t trust you, but there’s something there.

“What happens if one of you is in trouble?” You ask him, pressing on the issue. “And I’m the only one who can do anything? I don’t even know how to shoot a gun. I’m not asking for everything, just enough to know. Tommy, come on.”

Tommy sighs, scratching at his slightly grown-out facial hair. It wasn’t nearly as thick as Joel’s, but it was clear you had all been deprived of basic hygiene over the last several weeks.

“Alright,” He relents, but holds up a finger at you, “Just the basics, for now.”

“I mean, Joel’s planning to drop me off at the nearest QZ anyways,” You joke, shoving your knife into the casing at your waist as Tommy pulls the gun out of where it’s tucked into the back of his jeans, “might as well learn as much as I can before then.”

“He won’t,” Tommy assures you, “we’re not abandoning you like that.”

You didn’t agree, but you push the words back down and take the gun that Tommy is offering as he comes to your side, arms coming around your back and around you. He’s positioning your fingers alongside his own and speaking over your shoulder and neither of you hear the car door that opens over your shoulder.

Within seconds the gun is being yanked from your grip and into Joel’s, his fingers dangling through the loop of the trigger and his eyes locked on his brother, “You lost your damn mind?”

Tommy snatches the gun back from his brother, tucking it away into his waistband.

“She’s got just as much reason to learn,” Tommy argues, “—I don’t see you makin’ an effort to teach her anything.”

“It’s not my problem,” Joel says dismissively, “we’re better off just doing the work ourselves. Kid can’t even kill an infected, she’s not gonna save your ass in a gunfight, either.”

The frustration in you boils, simmering over the edge as you push through both of them and toward the truck, closing the door with a slam as their angered voices muffle into the cabin of the truck.

“She’s not our problem, Tommy,” Joel tells him, “the sooner you realize that the better.”

“That why you plan on droppin’ her off on the doorstep of the first QZ we stumble into?”

There’s a long beat of silence before Joel speaks, “I never said that.”

“You didn’t have to,” Tommy answers, his voice laced with smugness that even you could hear, “she’s already got it set in her mind that you will and you know what—don’t blame her, either.”

Eventually, the argument settles. It’s abrupt and both of them sandwich next to you in silence as Tommy follows the path back to the road, his fingers drumming quietly against the steering wheel. But, you can feel the charge of Joel’s frustration as his fingers twist around each other. You tune it out eventually, the silence drowned out by the low hum of a cassette tape that was playing a song you had heard a thousand times by now.

You knew your own weakness was hope and it was dwindling every day.

-

By Denver, you’re all irritable. Eleven hours cramped in a truck on days of very little sleep and small scraps of meals you’ve made stretch for weeks. All the tension, arguing, and frustrations comes to a head when you stumble upon an abandoned cabin on the outskirts of town, close to the mountains and secluded. It was perfect. 

There was a large, brushy forest to hunt and it was right beside a stream. You knew it was better than nothing and that the three of you could make it work for a time—the only problem, it was already occupied.

“Stay in the truck,” Joel orders to you, cocking his gun in his lap before he’s stuffing it back into his jeans and nodding at Tommy to follow. You almost expect him to argue, but he doesn’t. He follows, like a dutiful little brother as they both stalk toward the cabin calmly.

It was one car, clearly hot-wired and stolen alongside its broken windows.

It was clear that whoever was in the cabin wasn’t the original owners either, spotting the pile of dead infected burned to a crisp beside a stack of logs that you assumed were to keep the fire burning inside the house, watching as the black smoke creeped out of the chimney.

The minutes that pass feel like an hour and you begin to wander if they both decided to keep going, abandon you and try their chances down the stretch of highway without you.

You scoot into the driver’s seat and open the door, stepping out carefully as they muddy ground causes you to slip until you regain traction and as you close the door you hear it—a loud crash, a scuffle, and then Tommy’s voice alongside Joel’s.

You run in without thinking, crashing through the slightly open door to find them both with their arms around the neck of two other men, the strangers your eyes set on are already fading. They claw, scramble for air but they’re losing. Joel slams the butt of his gun into the back of the head of the guy he’s holding before they’re both twisting at their necks in unison, the signifying crack louder than the bodies as they hit the ground.

It isn’t shocking as it should be, having seen so many people on the other end of Joel’s violence—but for Tommy, the guilt of you having to witness that is immediate.

“Kiddo, I’m sorry,” He approaches, his hands out in front of him—he was approaching you the same way he had on outbreak day, timid and careful, “you shouldn’t have had to see that.”

You glance at Joel briefly who’s gun drops to the floor behind him as he heaves the dead man up in his arms and drags him out the back door of the cabin, there’s a subtle shake to his head at Tommy’s words that makes your ears ring, drowning out his profuse apologies.

“It’s us or them, right?”

It cuts off his line of speech and his eyebrows raise slightly, “What?”

“Us or them—I’m always going to choose us, for as long as that is. Joel would too.”

Suddenly he realizes that his justifying is naut as Joel rounds the corner and continues to drag the other body out before he’s joining you both in silence as he rubs his hands against his jacket.

“Alright, uh—I want you both to settle in here, try and make it more homey for the time being. I’m gonna drive into town and see what supplies I can scavenge, should be back by nightfall.”

“I’ll come with you,” Joel adds, but Tommy stops him.

“No,” He tells his brother, a quick shake of his head, “stay here with her, get another fire going.”

And for once, Joel listens to his younger brother. His tongue is poking at his cheek as he looks away with a begrudging annoyance as he stalks toward the fireplace.

“Keep an eye on him,” Tommy whispers to you, “alright?”

You nod and smile at the gentle squeeze to your bicep that Tommy offers as he departs.

When he’s gone, the silence is deafening. Joel’s gun was still on the floor, somehow forgotten by the man who never let anything slip past him, always on guard, always ready to attack.

His back is turned when you pick up the gun, the deafening click making his head turn on a swivel.

-

He’s on you in seconds, standing from his crouched position but you were quicker, stuffing the gun behind your back with a faint smile, taking a few steps away.

“Give it to me,” Joel commands, palm extended in waiting.

“Not like you to leave stuff layin’ around,” you comment jestingly, “I think I’ll keep it for a bit.”

He stalks, heavy footsteps against the hardwood floor as you retreat further and further until you’ve ultimately cornered yourself and Joel lunges for it behind your back but you take the opportunity to sweep under his arm and slip from his grip, dangling the gun from the grip of it with two fingers.

“What? You don’t trust me with it?” you taunt, “Think I’m gonna shoot you, don’t you?”

“I’m not askin’ again,” He charges and despite your quick reflex his hand is on your wrist first, the other coming around your neck as he presses you against the back of an old, dusty couch. It creaks under your weight and sends a cloud of dust up with the movement, “drop it.”

“Say it to my face,” you retort behind a strangled tone, feeling the heavy pressure of his thick fingers around your throat, tilting your chin up at his face where he towers over you, “say it and I’ll go—you won’t see me again, hear from me. I won’t be your responsibility anymore.”

Joel shakes your wrist and squeezes and the gun drops, clattering against the floor but he doesn’t let go, not yet.

“You’ll die out there.”

You squint your eyes in disbelief, a soft laugh bubbling from your chest.

“Yeah, I’ve heard you repeat that to Tommy a million times over the last few months.”

You pull at his grip but find that it only tightens, your fingers clawing at the hand around your throat, his fingers tucked under your jaw as it pulls your chin up and up, nearly touching his chest with how close he is to you now, your feet scrambling slightly underneath your for proper footing as you leaned against the couch. 

You speak again, hoping to crawl under his skin and make him uneasy, bothered.

“What? Sudden change of heart?” you ask, “Suddenly I’m worth protecting? Tommy would love to know about the handful of men you’ve killed in my honor, you know?”

Joel’s face twitches at that, his eyes dragging toward the gun on the floor—that was your window.

You force your knees up and into his stomach, shoving him away as he stumbles but the feeling of his arm coming around your abdomen has you squirming, turning and hitting him with weak, balled up fists that didn’t amount to half the strength he encompassed. It was barely a struggle for him.

Eventually you give up, waiting and waiting for him to let you go. His gaze is heavy, almost curious in the way he watches you go through the stages of resistance to acceptance and then finally giving up before your eyes are peering up at him, pressed against him at every point of contact, the cold metal of his belt buckle digging into your stomach.

“You’re stuck with me and I’m sorry,” you tell him out of desperation, “I just want to learn and you could teach—”

It takes you a second to process when his lips press against yours, a biting kiss that is forceful and startling, gasping into his mouth at the action but your body reacts instinctively, arms wrapping around his neck and hands fisting into his hair, the subtle essence of salt and pepper that was only noticeable this close. Joel groans softly, the first true and honest sound that has come from him all evening.

“Irritating,” Joel speaks against your lips, mumbled as he leads you, bumping your legs against the arm of the couch before you’re both tumbling over, “—do you ever fuckin’ shut up?”

He’s coined you vexatious in his own mind, not realizing how impossible he was to be around either—stubborn, impossible. An unmoving force of rigidness, but here he was—pliable to the fingers that slip under his shirt as he settles between your open legs, his own pulling at the button of your jeans.

You don’t need words, knowing that you both have communicated off eye contact at a level that was never spoken about but just worked. It clicked and when he pushed, you gave into the blow.

Silently you work alongside his own hands, pushing your jeans down and off. You kick them to the floor, working at your underwear while he undoes his own jeans, feeling like you were both working against the clock with your heart hammering in your chest. He was eager, impatient—still Joel, but it was a new look. It was the dynamic that, for you, felt like the missing piece.

Weeks of constant bickering and side-eyed glances all boiling down to one break in his mulish personality, this was the resolve.

The warm touch of his palm against your upper thighs pull your attention to him and he breathes out harshly through his nostrils, his jeans shoved down his thighs and his free hand palming himself over his underwear, squeezing at your skin as he offers only one word in acknowledgement. A question.

“Yeah?”

You nod shakily, answering with a soft, “Yes.”

-

There is no build-up, no gentle touching that leads to soft caresses as Joel presses himself inside of you. His hand is gripping the arm of the couch above your head as he grips himself at the base of his cock before he’s pushing in with one solid jerk of his hips, a hurried and desperate movement to bury himself inside of you. Your fingers pull at the hair by his nape and he grunts, head pulling back as he snapped his hips back and pushed into you again, sharp and angered. His jaw was tense, the subtle peek of teeth bared behind his lips

It’s a harsh disjunction; a man you would watch from your window on weekends as he spent mornings chasing Sarah out in the lawn—softer, happier. Her protector.

With reluctance, he’s become your own. Whether he would admit it aloud or not, he knows. But, it isn’t the same—you were extra baggage, a burden, but one he felt chained too. And more importantly, distraction.

You could see his humanity slipping week by week, a dull shell of himself most days. He won’t even look at you now, his eyes squeezed shut as he thrusts into you, your eyes dragging from his face to his cock, your hand traveling down to fist at his shirt, dragging it up his stomach. 

The dark, coarse hair at the base of his cock traveled up his stomach, across his thighs. Big, strong thighs that held your legs apart and the thickness of him ached, stretched you open after months of unintentional celibacy forcing you to grip him tight, wincing with every continuous snap of his hips, feeling a hand come around to cup the back of your head, cradling it as his forehead drops and presses against your own, blocking your line of sight and forcing your eyes closed. Just feel, he’s trying to convey. Don’t think.

And it works, lingering thoughts fading away as pleasure bleeds in. His top lip grazing against the round part of your nose, his hot breath fanning over your mouth as he huffs and you moan against him, a soft and broken noise that only forces his grip to tighten against the back of your head and the other hand at your thigh, finger digging into the flesh so harshly that the ache would linger for days.

You feel the crest creeping up on you but it isn’t enough, slipping your fingers between your body silently, but the fingers around your wrist startle you, dragging you back to the surface and opening your eyes to his, his expression earnest but stoic.

“Don’t,” He shakes his head, “—just close your eyes, I got it.”

You can’t find the energy inside to argue, feeling the hand cradling your head circle around to the crown of your scalp, fingers digging into the hair and pulling taut, forcing your head back and then he’s touching you, two thick fingers circling your clit in time with his harsh, hurried thrusts.

You do close your eyes, feeling the soft tuft of his hair against the side of your face as buries himself there, his movements jerkier as his fingers work quickly, squeezing around him as your fingers dig into his forearm, hips working against his fingers instinctively to search out more and more until you’re tipping over the cliff and free-falling, coming with a soft gasp as he pulls away suddenly, fisting his cock tightly as he came over your stomach, hastily shoving your shirt out of the way as he grunts quietly, his face pinched and completely unreadable when you do finally find the energy to look at him, eyes dragging toward the ceiling as you breathe and try to process what the fuck just happened.

There’s a distant rip of fabric somewhere to the right of you and far away, noticing that Joel’s already redressed when he approaches and wipes gently at the mess of cum dressed across your stomach, shoving your jeans back into your hand in the same movement. 

You look at him oddly, shuffling the jeans and underwear in your grip as you rise, eyes following as he moved around, started building the fire Tommy had told him about a half hour ago and is so glaringly ignoring what had transpired just now—you move quickly, redressing to avoid the judgment if he looked back and you were still staring.

And you notice the itch, the unavoidable twitch in his shoulders as he can’t settle with his movements, occupying himself to keep running on the clear adrenaline high he was on—he’d killed a man and immediately directed his frustration at you and used it as a means to stall, distract, satiate that monster dwelling inside him that always came out around you.

“So, can I leave now?” You ask him, his eyes peeking over his shoulder as he shoved a new pile of wood into the fireplace, “Are we finished?”

“You’re not leaving,” Joel tells you—you weren’t moving, weren’t planning to, but you wanted to see where the conversation would go, whether Joel would admit that he cared more than he let on, his emotions so stunted since Sarah that they came out in bouts of violence and rage, “I’d never hear the end of it.”

You offer a smug chuckle in response, “So, I was right. You don’t want me around.”

Joel turns on his knee, allowing you to see the remnants of flush in his cheeks, his messy hair and his response that rips a hole straight through your chest, “I’m stuck with you because Tommy wants you around.”

It wasn’t a direct answer, but you could read into it enough.

You glance over the back of the couch, wondering if the gun was still laying on the floor where Joel had squeezed it out of your grip, but the click to your right has you turning in an instant, staring down the barrel of Joel’s gun.

“You got a lot to learn,” Your glare is less than impressed as it lands on him, petulant and annoyed, “Don’t ever touch my gun again, alright?”

“Oh,” you respond airily, an impish smile creeping onto your face as you tilted your head slightly, “so—you fucked me as punishment or because of some silly little fantasy you've always had of fucking your neighbors daughter?”

And to your surprise, Joel's response is less angered.

“You could do with a little punishment,” He rises on his knees, pocketing the gun back in his jeans, and smirking at your dumb-founded expression, “—couldn’t you?”

Joel approaches closer, motioning with his fingers for you to stand and without thinking, you follow. His subtle smirk grows wider and he’s reaching for the forgotten knife on the floor, having fallen off your pants in the midst of your hurried undressing.

“I ain’t here to teach—I’m keepin’ us alive. The sooner you learn to shut up and follow, the better,” He reaches for your hand, placing the knife into your open palm, “and you kissed back, so that look on your face, that regret—”

“Who said there was regret?”

Joel’s eyes stick to you, meeting yours fiercely for a moment as you take the knife from him and reattach it to the loop on your jeans. His tongue licks at his bottom lip briefly, watching the subtle grin spread across your face.

Your words were a challenge. 

And for you, that meant game on. 

-

dividers creds: @/saradika-graphics

[ivy-loves-chocolate]

resident evil boys taking readers virginity 👁️👁️

Literally don’t care what boys you write for this prompt I just need Luis 🙏

I gotchu anon. Hope you like these 🥰 Warnings: smut, loss of virginity, oral sex

He wanted to make this night special since it was your first time, so he went above and beyond with the preparations. I'm talking about candles all over the place, rose petals in the bed, champagne, a good movie to relax, and good music to put you both in the mood. During the movie, he initiated everything. He just couldn't wait. He wanted you for so long that it started to hurt.

You'll start to feel his fingers tickling your skin, gently tugging your shirt and going under it. His hand went up to your bra, and there he cupped your breast, massaging it gently. The little sounds that you make while he is touching you are delightful to his ear. He turned his head to look at you, closed the gap between your bodies, and started to kiss you passionately, all while still giving attention to your breast.

He took off your clothes slowly, kissing and tasting every inch of your skin as he exposed you. It was like unwrapping a long-wanted gift, so he took his time.

"Mi alma, you are simply gorgeous," he said as he was looking at your naked body.

His kisses went from your neck to your breast, where he spent some time playing with them. He cupped them as he gave each nipple special treatment, and then moved on to your thighs.

As he kissed you down there, he began to moan as well. His tongue moved in circles around your bud, and over it, he made all sorts of movements just so he could keep hearing you puffing and moaning. You took a fistful of his hair, pressed his face closer to your core, and began to rub your hips all over his face. He was so close that you could feel the vibrations of his own moans. His beard also felt nice over your heated core.

When he inserted two fingers, your grip tightened on both hair and sheets. You rolled your eyes and hips, trying to get more friction.

When he felt you were wet, he stopped and removed his own boxers. Your eyes widdened at the sight of his cock, which was thick, long, and soaked at the top. You knew he was big from the moment you rubbed on him, but you were still surprised at the sight of it.

"Easy, love, I'll go slow. If it hurts, tell me, ok?" He said this as he came on top of you. He suppoerted himself on the elbows. He was looking into your eyes, his gaze so deep that it pierced through your soul. You felt him so close, and you gasped when you felt his tip breaking inside. It stings a little, and you breathe heavily. You dig your nails into his back.

He went slow, he never went with the full length because he wanted you to give you time to adjust. He also began to kiss you again, with the same passion, and he also kept whispering sweet, loving words to your ear. His romantic attitude helped with the pain, and after a few more thrusts, pleasure took its place. It began to feel good—so good that you told him it's fine to increase the pace.

You felt him close, he was listening to your indications, and he knew how to stimulate that spot inside you. Eventually, you felt a familiar pressure in your lower belly, and soon, you were milking him of everything that he had to offer.

He collapsed next to you, pulling you closer to his chest. His big thumb was running circles on your cheek, and the other arm was wrapped around your body. He kept asking if you were alright and if he had done something to hurt you. All these worries took hold of him, and he failed to see how much you enjoyed it, but you showed him when you climbed on top of him for round two.

When he knew that he would be the man to take your virginity, he was very pleased. In his eyes, you were just his property, a useful tool in his arsenal, but that didn't mean he wouldn't take care of you on your special night.

His lips felt like feathers on your skin. His hands moved gently along your curves, grooping the flesh when the kiss got intense.

"On your back," he said almost shyly. His tone was so sweet, so gentle, and so unusual for him.

His lips moved from yours and travled to your neck, giving you soft bites that won't leave marks. His hands moved to your breasts, cupping and massaging them gently.

"Albert," you whispered as he began to rub your nipples with his fingers.

He left your neck and descended further until he reached your breasts. All this time, his lips never left your body, constantly kissing your hot skin, and soon they found your nipples. His tongue twirled around them, going up and down until you were a complete mess down there. He kept on like that until you clearly grabbed his hips and urged him to give you some more friction between your legs.

"Albert, if you keep going like this, I'll cum," you desperately said.

He chuckled but didn't hurry up. He gave both of you nipples one more lazy, long lick before moving on.

"Bastard," you said under your breath.

He finally reached your core, and this is where he finally gives you the attention you want. Two of his fingers enter your hole slowly, as his tongue begins its usual activity on your clit. He moves in perfect rhythm, making you arch your back and call out his name.

You reach out hesitantly to his head, wanting to grab his hair. At first, you gently touched his golden locks, looking for a reaction. Seeing that there is none, you grab a fistful of his hair, but you don't pull hard. Still no reaction, and in fact, he added a third finger, making you gasp. That was the moment when you properly tightened your grip and pulled his hair properly—a moment in which he moans too.

"Are you enjoying this Wesker?" You teased.

"What do you think?" he asked as he pulled out and removed his pants. His cock was thick and long, and it was swollen. His tip was also pretty soaked.

He went on top of you, glued himself to your body, and pushed the first few inches into your cunt. He grunted instantly, as you were so tight. It took every ounce of self-control to not push his dick inside you in one thrust and fuck you sensless. You gasped for air as it began to sting. You dug your nails in his back, leaving small red marks.

Wesker went slow, so slow, and was paying attention to you the whole time. He began to kiss your neck again and also to praise you. You liked when he was being gentle with you, and the more affectionate he'd be, the less it would hurt. Little by little, kiss by kiss, the pain faded, and you began to feel good—so good that you urged him to go faster.

He knew how to rub that spot inside you, and you felt your orgasm approaching.

"Albert..." you started but were cut off instantly by him. He began kissing your lips again, very passionate and almost sloppy.

A few more thrusts, and your cunt was contracting hard around his cock. A few seconds after that, he came as well and filled you to the brim, feeling your belly expand a bit.

When he pulled out, all of that thick cum oozed out of your cunt.

What shocked you was how gentle and caring he was afterwards, but what shocked him more was how fast you climbed on top of him for round two.

He knew it was your first time, so he made sure to clear his schedule so you could get all of his attention.

When you arrived, he poured two glasses of wine and put your favourite movie. You were the one to initiate the foreplay, as you placed a hand on his thigh and squeezed hard enough to make him notice. You noticed how well-toned his leg was when he flexed under your touch.

Then, you moved your hand up until you reached his cock. Yeah, you were feeling brave, especially after those glasses of wine.

He split his legs and allowed you to toy with his growing erection. You felt your legs going weak as you kept massaging his big bulge. You kept thinking, "If he feels this big now, I wonder..." Your thoughts were cut short when you felt two fingers lift your chin. His big, blue eyes were looking at you, admiring your delicate features.

"You are doing great so far," he said with a smirk.

He pressed his lips on yours. The kiss was so gentle and sensual that you felt yourself getting soaked.

He began to undress you, taking time to admire your body. It was like unwrapping a gift.

As you were lying down with your legs spread, his fingers were busy rubbing your clit and his mouth was sucking on your tit. He loved the sweet, sweet sounds that you made, the little moans and puffs, and how you would say his name. You noticed how his cock would twitch every time you said his name.

"Leon..."

another twitch, but this time a small, white bead formed at the tip, which then dropped along the length.

His fingers were moving up and down your bud as his tongue was twirling around your nipple. You gasped when you felt two thick fingers entering you, but it didn't hurt. It felt so good to see how they'd come in and out, and he curled them to stimulate your spot so you could hear angels singing.

"I think you're ready," he said, and he came on top.

The first few thrusts stung a little and made you feel uncomfortable, but he went slow, very slow, so you have time to adjust. He was very careful with you all the time.

When the stinging sensation was fading and pleasure took its place, you told him to pick up the pace, the moment in which he came closer to your body, glueing himself to you, and buring his face at the crook of your neck. He caressed various portions of your flesh by kissing them and occasionally biting you gently. He loved when he was all over you like that, and that showed by how enthusiastic he trhusted his hips.

You dig your nails on his back, leaving small marks that would faint shortly. It was the first time when you felt this full, and as overhwelming as it was, you never wanted him to stop. He also knew how to stimulate that spot inside you, which made your toes curl and caused you to become louder and louder.

"Leon, I..." you said as you felt your orgasm approaching.

"I know, babe, I feel it too."

His cock was throbbing like crazy before entering you, but now it was pure torture, especially since you were so tight. When he felt your cunt contracting around his sore cock, he couldn't control himself anymore. It came instantly, filling you to the brim.

Leon collapsed near you and pulled you into a tight embrace. Between heavy breaths, he asked if you were alright. He was worried about you, and he was also worried if he did something to hurt you. However, his worries began to fade when you asked for a second round.

He wanted to make something special for you. This touch-looking man is actually a softie inside, so he made sure that everything was perfect for your first time. He got vanilla-scented candles, champagne, chocolate, and he even cooked.

You were the one to initiate the act as you began to caress his chest softly. His big arm was wrapped around your body, and he'd stand to mimic your movements. When you felt more courageous, you slid your hand underneath his shirt and started touching his torso, blushing when feeling his toned abs.

One thing led to another, and now Kauser was on top of you, kissing you very passionately. His hands were squeezing your breasts while his tongue was busy capturing yours. He was a good kisser, and he knew how to touch you. That was shown by your actions, as you kept moaning and rolling your hips underneath him, urging him to move on already.

He couldn't help himself and stopped by your breasts to give them a little attention, licking and sucking on those hard nipples. While his mouth was busy with one, the other would pinch and twist your sensitive part, making sure they both got the same appreciation.

"Jack..." you called him, hoping he would get the hint.

"I'm sorry, I got carried away."

He went between your legs and wasted no second. His tongue quickly found your clit and began to circle it relentlessly. He loved the sweet sounds that'd come out of your mouth as they persuaded him into toying with your little cunt all night.

He inserted some fingers inside you just so he could hear you getting louder. He curled them inside you, finding that spot and rubbing it fast enough to make you pant and grab the sheets.

It overwhelmed you already, but you were still a sucker for new sensations.

He came on top of you and glued himself to your body. You got a glimpse of his cock and got a little worried.

"Hey, everything will be fine," he said after noticing your expression. "I'm here all the way. Just tell me if it hurts, and I'll stop, ok?"

You nodded, closed your eyes, and took a deep breath. You felt his lips touching yours, and you wrapped your hands around his neck. The kiss was gentle, not so chaotic as early. It still didn't distract you from the sudden pain you felt when he inserted the first inches. A whelp came out of your lips, and he didn't push further. Instead of going at a slow pace, he kept kissing you, and he told you countless times how good you're doing.

Eventually, after all that praising and slow progress, you began to feel good and demanded he move a little faster.

He knew his ways, and he quickly managed to rub that spot inside you. His thick cock went in and out of your tight cunt at a normal pace now, making you both moan and call each other's names.

"Jack..." You felt your orgasm approaching, so you held tight. You wanted to feel him close, as these new sensations were very overwhelming.

"I know, babe," he said between grunts.

A few more thrusts, and you felt thick, hot shots of his cum filling you up. Calling his name, you let the orgasm wash over you. A white veil lowered over your eyes, your toes curled, and you held him tight. Your walls kept milking him until the very last drop.

He collapsed next to you and pulled you closer to his chest. Krauser kept praising you, saying how good you were and how well you took him. A few worries got to his mind, but they were soon cast aside once you climbed on top of him for round two.

Captain, my captain. This man is so responsible and overprotective, and when he found out that he would soon be the first man to ever take your virginity, he felt like he had such a huge task ahead of him.

He overdid himself with the preparations. He got some expensive wine, cleaned the apartments thoroughly, and prepared a nice playlist.

His touch was so gentle on your body. His hands slid up and down your curves as he kissed you so passionately. He pushed you on the bed and climbed on top of you, his beard tickling your skin.

He started with your neck, then lowered to your breasts, which he massaged the whole time. His fingers would relenttlessly go over your hard nipples, making you arch your hips and meet his erection. His bulge was big, and it made you wonder if he would fit inside.

His tongue circled your nipples a few times before descending again, leaving a trail of kisses on your hot skin. He reached your core, placed your legs over his big shoulders, and began to kiss you again on your lips. Then he parted them, revealing your clit and started sucking it.

Your moans made his cock twitch in his pants, and he felt himself getting soaked.

His tongue and fingers worked hard to make you ready, and when the time came, he removed his boxers and approached you.

"What if..." you began as you parted your legs.

"It will be alright, I'm here."

The first inches sting, and he went very, very slowly. He asked constantly how you were feeling and if you wanted him to stop, but you assured him you're fine.

His body was pressed tight against yours, his fuzzy chest tickling your skin. He was so warm and gentle, and you felt so safe between his big arms. Because you felt so safe with him, you started to enjoy it little by little until you moaned again. You wrapped your legs around his waist and urged him to go faster.

You were both moaning and panting. He was so delighted by how good your tight cunt felt, and your body went numb from how good he felt inside you. The more he rubbed that spot inside you, the faster the pressure in your lower abdomen increased.

"Chris..." you whispered faintly and hugged him tight.

"I know. I feel it too."

In a bit, you cunt kept contracting around his cock, milking him of everything he had to offer. He filled you to the brim, and when he pulled out, some of his semen oozed out.

He collapsed near you, pulling you close to his chest. He kept kissing you—your forehead, cheeks, and lips. Also, he asked you constantly if you were alright and if you enjoyed it. Chris was very concerned about you, but all of his worries faded when you climbed on top of him for round two.

[zweiginator]

college!patrick corrupting you...you're study partners in your anthropology class and patrick loves to listen to you talk. loves to hear you explain concepts to him, pointing to your notes with your purple pen. scooting your chair closer to him.

"can you see now?" you show him the diagram you drew; it's labeled and highlighted and patrick smirks because you wrote his name in bubble letters on the top of the page.

your skin flushes. the broken air conditioning in your dorm made the early september heat unbearable enough. and now you're humiliated.

you cover it with your forearm but it's too late.

"what's all this?" patrick moves your arm easily. his finger traces over the P in 'patrick', adorned with a little heart.

you look up at him and shake your head. "we need to focus. it's nothing--i was bored in class."

patrick moves wherever your gaze is directed. he doesn't let you escape him. the small wooden chair he's sitting in skips and screeches across the linoleum floors, his knee bumping against yours so it sits snug between your legs.

"do you have a crush on me?" patrick asks. he's so confident, because he knows the answer already, and he could've guessed long before that too. not that you were overt before this--it's just the kind of person he is. attractive in its rawest form.

you do have a crush on him. but you're a virgin. you've never even kissed or been kissed.

"i guess a little." you say, softly.

your voice is low; patrick has to lean in to hear you. but his eyes look kind, a twinkly dark green. and he smiles at you; it's a grin that crinkles his eyes like soft tissue paper.

"is that bad?" you ask, uncomfortable from the lingering silence.

"no." he says it immediately. "have you ever made out before?" patrick adds. he says it like he's been waiting for it and you shake your head.

"fuck."

"sorry." you shrug.

patrick now shakes his own head. "what if i taught you? would that be okay?"

you're embarrassed that a boy this well-known will feel the struggle of your lips against his own experienced ones. he probably kisses like a well-oiled machine, pulling sweet moans out of girls like strawberry taffy and here you are, gulping. literally swallowing your own pride as you say yes please. as if you're ordering at a restaurant.

patrick moves to your bed and you sit next to him. you don't know what to do or where to look so you focus on your socks, how one is pulled taut, the other slouching against your ankle. and then patrick tilts your face towards his.

his breath smells good. peppermint and camel lights, you suppose. his lips are parted and so close to yours and you're about to lose your balance. your open palms grab onto patrick's thighs, just above his knees. he looks down and smirks. and then he tilts your chin up and plants a kiss on your lips. just one kiss. but his lips are wet and he prolongs the sound of them puckered over yours.

you feel a pit in your stomach. but it's a good feeling, a pit that reminds you of being on the beach and wanting to dig into the sand more and more until it collapses in on itself.

you close the gap this time, feeling his shoulders. they're so firm and broad under his white t-shirt. he opens his mouth wider. experiments with you. you inch closer to him and then you're pulled into his lap and his arm supports your back, his hand holding your chin in place while he licks into your mouth, prying it open with his tongue. he moans in approval when you start to move in sync with him; his lips wrap around your bottom lip while yours find their home on his top one--and he is being patient.

he's getting hard--really hard--but he takes it slow with you. this is just kissing. so he doesn't move you against his erection but you feel it and pride swells in your chest because your crush is kissing you and it feels so good.

it gets sloppier; his spit is melding with your own and as he pulls away to look at you, a string of it prolongs the kiss--but you don't let him pull away. you whine and pull him in by his collar. adjust yourself on his lap and he pulls you closer. impossibly closer.

he kisses you like he wants to eat you alive. your lip is bitten and raw and swollen from him and you mewl and moan when he gently pulls your hair. you pull his back and now he moans, just for you.

the sand pit in your stomach becomes a sinkhole and you feel a tingling sensation you've never felt before.

"this feels so good." you say, bluntly. your hair is a mess, and patrick's forehead is dewy with sweat.

"oh my god." patrick dives back into you at full force. your teeth almost clash, and you tug at the bottom of his shirt, feeling the tightness of his abs underneath and then he's pulling it over his head and even the one and a half seconds without his lips on yours feels like fucking torture for both of you.

your mouths stay open against each other, like even the widest they could go could never let each other in enough.

patrick starts to slip the strap of your tank top down your shoulder when your roommate comes in. you look at her wide-eyed, wiping patrick's spit off your face. he breathes heavily, leaning back on his elbows. sheer pink lip gloss pants his stubbled cheeks with iridescence.

he covers his erection with his t-shirt.