#Cole's more tolerant and he can see some sense in it

[despair-ninja-everything-agency]

ThanCole stole SniperSpy’s wedding outfits >:3c

Bit o’ a cheeky bonus to the WoLCred week thingy and also a tribute to @kirame90​ ‘s SniperSpy comic series. Y’all should check it out, especially if you’re into TF2 and, most importantly, a fellow SniperSpy shipper like me.

I encountered that SniperSpy comic, like, 2 or 3 months ago as it’s coming closer to conclusion. Word cannot describe how I feel about the comic series, but it made me laugh and cry and feel all sorts of feelings. I admire how the story told, how the couple having to deal with their blooming relationship, the comedy that is the other mercs, Sniper’s parents, the exploration of Spy’s past and how it affects him till present day. Highly recommend you to read it. Be warned that it’s a long read, but I promise it’s worth the journey. You can start reading it from page one over here :3c

As for the glam itself, finding Spy’s tuxedo wasn’t hard as there’s a couple of good tux top in FFXIV and I managed to work out his corsage with a yellow hyacinth corsage for the yellow leaves and a purple carnation earring for the small flower. Alas, you can’t layer headgears so no baclava/ninja mask. As for Sniper’s, while I managed to find a good fit, it’s sadly missing the tie. On the other hand, I like the bracelet (iirc it’s a StormBlood dungeon drop) as his wristwatch.

Overall, I’m really proud of this getup. Might post it to Eorzea Collection if I feel like it uwub

------

Feel like I wanna include this here as well. @miqomischief​ , I found you out from Biff and while I don’t know much about you just yet, I’m sending all my supports and positive thoughts at your direction OwO/ Hope your journey is a fulfilling one. ‘Tis ain’t much, just a self-indulgence, but I’d like to share you my WoLCred ship all the same. And, hey! If you want and you’re into TF2 as well, maybe you can check out the comic I linked above. Who knows if it can brighten your day or at least amuse you :3 ------

Bonus under the cut:

ThanCole demands a costume switch while implicitly roasting Sniper’s sense of fashion

*For context, a Gunbreaker’s weapon is a sword... that can shoot magic boolets

[mouwrites]

hello!

hopefully requests are open rn, but just in case...

Can I request the Ninjas with a shy reader? Like someone who gets flustered really easily, doesn't know how to properly ask for affection, can't order for themselves at a restaurant, ect.

I think this is a really cute trope and I love seeing it in writing!

Oh I totally agree!! As a shy person myself I never get tired of seeing this trope hehe <3

Ninjago - Ninjas With a Shy s/o

Jay

I don't think you'll have to worry about asking for affection with him

If anything, you'll have to worry about asking for some space

Jay's super affectionate when it comes to romance, and he gets so lost in his loverboy haze that he won't see your "stop" signs unless you express them explicitly

But he does love seeing you all flustered

For him it's a sign that his love is getting to you (in a good way!)

He gets the biggest grin when he can make you blush, and he practically melts when you avert your gaze bashfully

"Aww, look at you being all shy. You're adorable."

Probably pinches your cheek too, that corny dude (we still love him though <3)

Jay can also be pretty anxious when it comes to social situations, but that goes out the window when it comes to you

Definitely will do the "excuse me they asked for no pickles!! >:(" thing, just for you <33

And he does NOT tolerate other people making you shy

As soon as he notices you're blushing or looking away because of someone else, he's at your side in an instant helping you escape the situation

totally not because he's jealous

Zane

He thinks it's cute that you're shy :)

He loves the way your cheeks turn pink when he complements you, or the way you fiddle nervously when you don't know what to say

You're so adorable to him

Whenever he manages to fluster you a bit, he gets a little grin and does an internal happy dance

But if he flusters you too much he feels bad

He doesn't want to actually breach any boundaries with you

But he's usually careful about that, keeping the affection pretty light so you don't get embarrassed (but he still gives you enough that you know he loves you <3)

Unfortunately that means that you're going to have to work up some real courage if you want something more

I feel like he's got this duality when it comes to social situations...

On the one hand, he has no trouble standing up for the ones he loves (you) when they need it

He'll totally step up for you when the time comes

But at the same time he's a little shy himself, and he's not going to do anything too drastic

Like if someone is making you uncomfortable, he'll just tug your sleeve and give you the "let's get out of here" look

Kai

He also thinks it's super cute that you're shy

But I feel like he'd also encourage you to stand up for yourself more often

He LOVES making you flustered though

It's just so easy

One wink and you're red as a firetruck... but he likes to get more creative than that

Compliments and pda galore man,,, someone stop this fiend

He does it because yes, it does make you all shy and that's adorable, but also because he wants you to build a tolerance to it (if that makes sense)

He wants you to become at least a little less shy, only for your own benefit

He's happy to stand up for you, or ask you what you need instead of you having to bring it up yourself, but what he'd really love is for you to have some initiative

The first time you compliment him back, or order your own food, he is OVER THE MOON

You thought he was affectionate before? Be prepared for a whole new level of love when he gets all proud like that

He still thinks it's cute when you get shy though, so he's not going to change you completely

Mans just wants you to have a bit more confidence!

Because you're amazing and you deserve that much at least 😤

Cole

He's chill with you being shy

Yes, he thinks it's cute, but he also recognizes it as a potential problem in your relationship

Not in a "something we might break up over" way though!! I must emphasize this!!

More in a "something I need to be conscious about" way

Like, he knows that you struggle sometimes, so he'll try to compensate :)

He'll ask you if you want affection, or just give it to you when he thinks you need it

He's already walking in front of you when you approach the fast food counter, ready to order for you

And in social situations he offers his hand for you to hold, not only for anxiety but so that you don't get separated

He doesn't mind doing any of this one bit btw :)

If anything, he sees it as a way to prove his love for you

But he's also not going to make a big deal about it or hold it over your head or anything

He does all of it as if it's the most casual thing in the world, and the longer you're together, that only becomes more true

Ofc he'd love to see you gain some confidence, but he's also totally fine being your social shield and advocate :)

Lloyd

Definitely teases you about how shy you are (specifically about how you get so cute when you're shy)

Never mind that he is also pretty shy

Literally all you have to do when he's teasing you is say "you're one to talk" and he's just like:

But on a different note, he does like making you blush :)

He thinks it's cute when you get a little shy, but like Kai he also wants to see you gain a little confidence

His method is different though... prepare for a shower of affection and hype work

Always spends at least two minutes gushing about how gorgeous you are before going out

Dw, he waits for you to stop blushing before you actually go in public

But he makes you agree with him

"You're gorgeous!! Look in the mirror! No, seriously, look. Look how stunning you are!"

And you'll just get a shy grin, giving a little nod

Insecurity? not on his watch

And when you need to confront someone he'll do it, but he makes you come along

He'll hold your hand if you like though :)

Nya

NYA LOVES HER SHY S/O!!!

no im not just saying this because im shy and i want her to love me

She loves being able to stand up for you, being your big strong gf <3

She practically jumps at the opportunity to protect you in social situations

Not to the point that she's overprotective, but you'll definitely feel her eyes on you when you get separated

And she also tries to stay in tune with your implied feelings, since you struggle to express them explicitly

She'll test the waters with remarks like "anything... frustrating happen today?" when she thinks you're mad, or "man, I don't know about you, but I could really use some cuddles..." when she thinks you need affection

She tries to open up opportunities like that for you; whether you take them or not is up to you

But she might get pushy if she's convinced about something, asking more direct questions like "okay, be serious with me: what's wrong?"

She'll make you look at her when you reply

She'll always understand your feelings, but what she doesn't understand is you hiding them from her

You'll have to learn to be a lot more candid and upfront (at least with her) when you date her

She's fine when you're shy in public, and even when you're shy in private to an extent, but what she won't tolerate is you closing yourself off from her

She just wants to know how you're feeling so she knows how to help :(

Thank you so much for this request, I had a lot of fun with this one hehe! And thanks for reading, take care duckies <33

(divider by saradika)

[thefanciestborrower]

Okok, I know you have your own headcannons an stuff- but like- for the ninja boi's I have a few headcannons if you dont mind me sharing:

Headcannons related to the entire hecking chapter worth of a story I wrote lol:

Cole is absolutely terrified of the dark but won't tell anyone. This means that the only ninja who can eat him without him flipping out is Zane. This is cause, in my personal headcannon, Zane absolutely has glowing insides.

Jay constantly talks big game about eating Cole, but when he finally gets the chance to eat Cole, he ends up almost choking. Now Cole brings it up almost any chance he gets.

Cole has climbed up the kitchen counters multiple times to get to some dessert. Since Cole is about as tall as a hand is long, he normally fills up completely on dessert. He does this often at the worst times, such as before dinner or before a mission. This has gotten so bad that Zane has started hiding any dessert he makes in various places he knows Cole can't see them.

Just kinda general headcannons, not story related:

When any one of the ninjas are too hot in the summer, but they still want to be outside, they practically beg to eat Zane. Like give him the puppy eyes and everything. I think the only ones who can normally convince him though is Cole and Lloyd.

Jay used to playfully shock anyone he didn't ask to be eaten by, but he had to stop when he accidentally shocked Zane with too much electricity (this was after he had tried to pick a fight with Cole in the kitchen). All I have to say is poor Zane. He worked so hard on that spaghetti sauce.

Lloyd, as a kid, would often get in trouble, and as a punishment, get put in "time out," aka eaten. This was always a hassle since he liked to kick and make the one who ate him sick. Zane is the only ninja without a gag reflex and pain receptors, so for a while, he was the only one who would be up to the task.

On that note, once, when Lloyd was younger, he tried to sneak out. He then was then promptly stopped by Sensei Wu, who then woke up Zane to give him a "time out."

And ya! Heres some headcannons for ya 👍

Idk if all of em made sense, so let me know if I need to re-explain anything :)

OH my gosh these are all AMAZING!! Going insane rn

Cole being scared of the dark is something I’ve never really thought about but oh my goodness it’s perfect?? Like idk how to explain it but that just feels right you know? I ALSO think that Zane glows inside so nice to see we’re on the same wavelength there lmao. Like, why not give him some pretty glowy insides you know?

The image of Jay trying to choke down Cole is HYSTERICAL to me like come on buddy what do you think was gonna happen?? There’s no way that would have ended well for him and he deserves to get teased for it 

There’s honestly no way Cole WOULDN’T stuff himself stupid with dessert if shrunk and given the chance okay like that’s absolutely correct and Zane would be the person to hide everything from him. Just put it in the fridge he can’t get in there lmao

Zane is like a nice cool ice cube who doesn’t melt and keeps your core feeling cool of COURSE they’d wanna eat him in the summer! I would too! I would also probably only let Cole and Lloyd eat me lmao cause look, they’re just the teeniest tiniest bit more responsible than the others. Kai, Jay, and Nya are forces of chaos that cannot be contained. Rip Zane…..he didn’t deserve his spaghetti sauce to be exploded. Jay does deserve to zap people though he’s an absolute menace like that and look if you try and eat him without permission then you’re just asking for it at that point. 

YOU ALSO have the ‘little Lloyd getting ate for time out purposes’ headcanon oh my goodness!! Look look the kid was an absolutely feral gremlin okay sometimes you just gotta contain him, and because he BITES then Zane is the only one who can really tolerate that sort of chaos. I like to think Zane has some soundproofing qualities to his internal storage/stomach compartment lmao, so when he gets given Lloyd in the middle of the night he can just tune out the enraged shrieking and complaining. At least until Lloyd tires himself out and finally goes to sleep 

These are all SO GOOD WAAAA if you have any more I’d love to see them lol. That goes for anyone btw give me your headcanons I wanna see!! 

[singemall-stayallnight]

Documentary with Led Zeppelin Stories

Sunset Strip is a 2012 documentary that's available for free on the Tubi app. Led Zeppelin is discussed by several people during a section of the film. The Zep portion starts at around 52:12. Everything that was said about LZ in the documentary is transcribed below:

"I stayed with Led Zeppelin there (Hyatt House) a lot, and they had the entire sixth floor. They always rented out the entire sixth floor and, you know, took over." Grins

-Pamela Des Barres

"Everyone knew in Hollywood that Zeppelin were in town, and those guys were so fuckin' wild. They'd abuse the chicks. They liked to push it to see how far they can go. Burning 'em, cuttin' their hair off, handcuffin' 'em. I mean, you know, leaving them handcuffed for a couple of days in the room." (!!!!!!!)

-Sharon Osbourne

"They'd ride motorcycles up and down the hallway at the Continental Hyatt House, and throw these wild, wild parties. You know, up all night, and throwing TV's out the window. All that stuff was true."

-Rodney Bingenheimer

Then, there's an old video shown, presumably from the 70s, in which three unidentified women are talking about LZ.

The clip begins by one woman saying, "Led Zeppelin did lots of stuff. Richard Cole, he took this leather strap and he started beating me, and I didn't even know him. They threw Cynthia in the swimming pool and ruined all her velvet clothes. They were really weird."

"Hostile," one of the other women chimes in.

Cuts back to Sharon

"They were probably the worst, but they were many that abused loads of people on the Strip. But that would never, ever, ever have been tolerated anywhere else but America. In America, they were like, 'Oh, do you wanna hit me some more? Do you wanna burn me? Do you wanna fuck me with a fucking, you know, rod of iron? We'll do it.' And that's, that's how it was."

-Sharon Osbourne

Sharon's recollections corroborate a pattern of behavior described in the book Led Zeppelin by Bob Spitz: p. 190

"Once, during Led Zeppelin's stay at the Chateau Marmont, Peter Grant wandered into one of the empty bungalows they'd rented and found a naked young woman tied to the bed by her wrists and ankles. 'I said, 'Hello, what are you doing here?' She said, 'I don't know, but guys keep coming in and fucking me.' I said, 'Oh okay, well, have a nice day.'

No one gave a thought to whether these girls were well below the age of consent. Some were eighteen, some were sixteen, some were fourteen, occasionally younger--mostly no one bothered to ask."

p. 503

"LA meant it was party time. Swan Song and Atlantic rented a fabulous house in one of the canyons and packed it with a guest list of relatively high-profile friends, everyone from Roger McGuinn, Keith Moon, and Rod Stewart to Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. It was a glittery champagne-and-cocaine affair that soon devolved into debauchery. The company pulled out all the stops, somehow sensing this might be a send-off, the last time Led Zeppelin performed in LA.

'I brought along a friend unlike Lori, a thirty-five-year-old, successful woman who knew how to take care of herself,' says Betty Iannaci. Later, Peter Grant invited Iannaci's guest to his room. 'He had come into a large quantity of cocaine and was feeling very generous.' Eventually Betty's friend wound up naked and handcuffed to the pipe under Grant's bathroom sink so that, for an entire weekend, she was at the disposal of anyone who came in. Jimmy came across her almost by accident and, in an uncustomary show of gallantry, found a key to unlock the cuffs and helped her to escape."

When I first watched the Sunset Strip documentary, I thought if those girls were restrained and abandoned alone in a hotel room, they were sitting ducks. Any number of terrible things could've been done to them. Zep regularly threw parties at the hotels they stayed in. People would roam from floor to floor and wander into different rooms. Those girls could've been raped.

Then, I read Spitz's book and found out that is what happened. Women and girls were handcuffed or tied up, ditched, and gang raped, sometimes over the course of days. They couldn't consent. They were literally trapped. A man walks into the room and gets to do whatever he wants to whichever girl is there. And she has no choice in the matter.

Ann Wilson wrote in her review of Spitz's book that Led Zeppelin's story was one of, "rape and pillage," (among other things) and it really was. There were occurrences of statutory rape, two instances of attempted forcible rape by John Bonham,* and many women & girls who were physically restrained, then left to anyone in a hotel who decides to "have their way with them." Let's not forget the multiple incidents of violence committed by John Bonham against numerous people, including women, such as the female journalist he punched in the face for smiling at him.

The degeneracy, including rape, is brought up in another review of the book:

https://forums.stevehoffman.tv/threads/bob-spitz-new-book-led-zeppelin-the-biography.1117692/

"I thought the book was fairly well written. I’ve only read one or two other books on Zep, so a lot of the info was new to me. The best parts of the book were the chapters covering the formation of the band, which really painted a detailed picture of the late 60’s music scene. The parts of the book covering the recording sessions were also very well done. Once the 70s and the drugs kick in, the depravity and excesses were all consuming. Very difficult to come to grips with these parts as a fan. I know the text is unrelenting in its depiction of this period, but I dont think there is any other way to tell it. Unfortunately, the serial stories of drugs and rape weren’t punctuated with a few arrests and prosecutions.

Grant was a small time gangster right from the beginning, so it doesn’t surprise me how he ended up. Page hooked their destiny to a star that was inevitably going to burn out… and in a big way. Grant used force and intimidation to get his way and ended up alienating the press and US promoters.

After Bozo died from his disease, Plant was the only one to carve out a semblance of a solo career. JPJ dropped off of the map and Jimmy adopted a very low profile. I strongly suspect his musical skills were damaged by the 70s lifestyle. It is obvious after reading this book why the band would rather not discuss their history, which is extremely unfortunate. It would be nice if they could educate a new generation about one of the best bands ever. Of course, their feeble archive program doesn’t help."

-johnnyb1964, Jun 28, 2023

Sharon's statement that Led Zeppelin were, "probably the worst" reminds me of the bolded line in this comment:

https://forums.stevehoffman.tv/threads/i-just-read-richard-coles-book-and-i-may-never-listen-to-zeppelin-again.225428/page-2

"It's interesting to contrast this thread with the controversy about Francisco Rodriguez (K-Rod), the New York Met's star relief pitcher, who was arrested for attacking his girlfriend's father and was charged with third-degree assault.

None of the sports fans I've spoken with have said, 'It doesn't matter if K-Rod punches a 53-year-old man, I enjoy watching him play, he's one of the best in the business, and his private behavior doesn't matter.' Rather, most of them are not only disgusted by his behavior, but they want him off the team.

The members of LZ weren't punching middle-aged men, but their behavior was no less reprehensible. Yes, rock and roll is (or at least used to be) about rebellion and sex and freedom, but it doesn't have to involve doing degrading things to other people. There's a difference between rowdy and mean, between hooking up with groupies and treating women like utter garbage, between being reckless and intentionally destroying other people's expensive things. All those stories about LZ's behavior aren't legendary because they're typical -- it's because they were at the extreme end of rock star behavior. They're lucky that they're not in jail, or that they weren't shot by someone whom they pissed off.

Now, despite my little rant, I'm able to enjoy my Zeppelin CDs without thinking about any of this. But I understand Zack's feelings.

My question for everyone is, is there a degree of behavior that WOULD cause you to feel like Zack? (Other than, say, the artist brickwalling his or her CDs?;)) Someone mentioned Gary Glitter…has anyone stopped listening to him? What if your favorite artist drove drunk into a schoolbus, killing a dozen 6-year-olds? Or killed his wife?"

-Matty, Aug 20, 2010

They were other bands behaving badly at the time, but Zep's bad behavior still stands out. I'm unaware of Bonham ever expressing guilt or apologizing for any of his atrocious actions, but as I said in a previous post, I believe the other three (former) members of LZ see various things differently now and have changed for the better. They certainly have much to feel contrite about, though.

More than one person on here has said they want to maintain a balanced view of Led Zeppelin and not overlook the wrong they've done. Well, here ya go. These are additional glimpses into the foul side of Led Zeppelin's history.

*Ellen Sander went into detail about the attempted gang rape she experienced at the hands of John Bonham and another man. That all four members of the band attacked her is a persistent rumor surrounding Zeppelin, but Bonham was the only LZ band member involved in the attack.

Trips is mostly inspirational — and, as in her chapter on the Plaster Casters of Chicago, iconic groupies known for making casts of various rock legends’ penises — also massively entertaining. But the book doesn’t shy away from the dark side of rock life. One chapter chronicling a 1969 U.S. Led Zeppelin tour starts as a triumphant road movie and ends as a horror film. Sander writes that, when she went to say goodbye to the group and their entourage on the last night of the tour, she ended up in physical peril.

'Two members of the group attacked me, shrieking and grabbing at my clothes, totally over the edge,' she writes. (Sander now specifies that the aggressors were John Bonham and a member of the band’s entourage.) ' I fought them off until [manager] Peter Grant rescued me but not before they managed to tear my dress down the back.'

Reached through a representative, Led Zeppelin declined to comment on the incident. Though in Mick Wall’s 2008 Zeppelin bio When Giants Walked the Earth, when asked about Sander’s account by the author, Page replied, 'That’s not a false picture.'

Sander recently took some time to reflect on that traumatic night, which she calls 'the nadir of that whole arc of experience with Sixties rock & roll.'

So, regarding the Zeppelin incident, I only want to discuss it insofar as you’re comfortable with it.

I’m totally comfortable with any aspect of it, so just go ahead. It was a long time ago. I believe I have healed from that, many times over.

The account in the book is fairly brief. Could you set that scene for me and recall what you remember happening?

You know, we’d been on the road together. I’d been at recording sessions in New York and they had a date at the Fillmore. I had a certain timespan on the tour and I wasn’t going to see them again. I saw the show at the Fillmore. It was splendid, and I went backstage to say goodbye and got attacked.

It was [a member of the band’s entourage] and Bonzo and I don’t know who else. I know it wasn’t Jimmy [Page] or John [Paul Jones] because they were in the corner just flapping their heads. It was only an instant. It couldn’t have been more than 20 seconds, or something like that. Then Peter Grant just sprang up from his seat and just picked them up by the cuff and pulled them off me. They came at me from the front, I crossed my arms over myself, and I turned my back, and I had on this dress, that was tied in the back. The top of it was tied in the back, and they just ripped that down, but I still kept the dress up because I had my arms crossed over my front. And there I stood with the back of my dress torn and Peter said, “Why don’t you take my car home?” So we went downstairs in the back, and he put me in his limousine, and I went home, shaking. I don’t know if I was frightened or if I was angry or both, but I was just shaking. I was terrified.

I just never thought that would happen. I knew about the behavior with the groupies ’cause they would talk about it all the time, and I’d see a little bit of it. What I saw, I wrote about. I was kind of like, 'That’s just with them, but I’m different. I’m a reporter. I’ll do my story for Life magazine. I won’t be vulnerable to that.' And I was.

So just to clarify, this was basically in front of a room full of people?

It was backstage, so it wasn’t all that full. It was the band, the road crew and Peter Grant, maybe a couple other people, but those weren’t very big rooms upstairs backstage at the Fillmore East. I just came in to say goodbye. I wasn’t coming in to hang out. I just wanted to say, “Goodbye. It’s been exhausting but wonderful working with you and best of luck, you’re great, thanks, goodbye.” And I was going to go home and start writing — well, I had a bunch of notes. And that was that.

Would you say that it was John Bonham who was the primary aggressor?

No, it was [the member of their entourage]. And then Bonham was right on it, but it was [the other man] who, I think, started it and then as soon as he encouraged it, then Bonham.

I don’t know where [Robert] Plant was, but I saw Jimmy Page and I saw John Paul Jones. And Jimmy Page was just, like, holding his forehead going, “No.” And John Paul Jones just kind of turned his face to the wall, like he always did. He was always apart from them. He was never into their orgies.

And you said the person who broke it up was …?

Peter Grant. And he was a big guy. Really, he could pick up 220-something guys and just lift them up and put them down. So you know, as it turned out, I was never in any real danger, but I didn’t know that.

So the entire Zeppelin road piece was written after that incident? I think you wrote that you took a year off.

Yes. I decided not to write a piece that would promote them. And plus I was having trouble having any emotional distance from it, which I hope is understandable.

Of course.

My editor was very understanding. I just backed off, and I got busy with a lot of other stuff. And then a year later I was looking at it, looking at my notes and going, “You know what? I’m putting this in the book.”

In terms of getting to that point, was it really just a process of time? Or was there some therapy, or other methods?

Yeah, it was time. You know, it’s been, what, 50 years? It was time and also that I knew that it was an anomalous event. Everybody else I ever worked with treated me very well or better.

Overall, your piece is surprisingly sympathetic to the band, in light of what happened.

Well, I mean it didn’t seem like bitterness to the point of focusing the truth elsewhere. I mean, I loved the story more than I loved them. I just took it from the notes, the way it was. Before that happened, I was very sympathetic. Empathetic maybe.

And their music, I still respect and love. The virtuosity of Jimmy Page still amazes me.

Thinking about what’s happened in so many other industries with the MeToo movement, if something like the Zeppelin attack happened today and it came to light, there would be a huge uproar about it. Do you ever wish that that cultural shift had happened earlier?

I don’t think anybody who ever heard from me or read that story, I don’t remember anybody not being upset and outraged about it. And as I say, it was anomalous. … But men with power always took sexual advantage, and all of a sudden, it’s being called into question, and it’s about time.

I mean, my 50-year-old editor at Saturday Review — my agent put it this way — chased me around the desk. And when I told her about it, I was really upset; she laughed. And I felt very betrayed that she laughed. But then, I felt like, OK, nothing bad happened, it’s just something I have to put up with — I want the gig. And he never did it again, and we never talked about it.

[iamsonormalaboutninjago]

Lloyd Garmadon Headcanons because I love him

First headcanon (ever)

- [ ] He has a sweet tooth but not as bad as people would think, he tried to curb it more when he became the Green Ninja. Lloyd wants to be disciplined and live up to peoples expectations, but when no one’s around he’ll grab a handful from a secret stash under his bed

- [ ] Lloyd’s favorite candies are: Anything minty (he got a taste as a child when the darthly’s boys would barter gum cause sugar was banned), bubblegum, hard candies with a soft centre, assorted fruit gummies, some jellybeans, and fizzy candies that sparkle in your mouth.

- [ ] He doesn’t like many chocolate candies, but he does like chocolate used in baked deserts. Zane would often bake chocolate desserts for the team after long days training, yet they never stuck around for long and blamed Cole but it was actually Lloyd sneaking in at night when no one was around.

- [ ] When Lloyd was aged up using dark magic his mind didn’t age with him. He was still mentally a child in a teenagers body.

- [ ] After Wu was lost to time Lloyd dealt with it by losing himself in Starfarer comics, video games, and children’s movies. He was helped out of it by Misako and the team when they were under the same roof.

- [ ] Lloyd has a “secret” stash of things under his bed. It’s all things that he’s embarrassed about: like candy, old blankets, starfarer comics, and a plush kitty he was given by his mom when she left him at the boarding school.

- [ ] He’s embarrassed about them because he uses them to calm down when he’s stressed or upset. It makes him feel weak asking for help because he’s meant to be the team leader.

- [ ] When him and Pythor took over Darkley’s, Lloyd took a detour to grab his stuffed animal which he’s protected ever since.

- [ ] Lloyd loves his fans and loves that he can inspire children to be good like the ninja inspired him.

- [ ] When he gets home from meet and greets he’s so drained he sleeps in till noon

- [ ] Lloyd’s the worst sleeper of the ninja, he usually spends nighttime studying, training, playing games, or reading. Which results in him waking up at all times in the afternoon

- [ ] Lloyd, Kai, Jay, and Cole have held “sleeping contests” before where they pull all-nighters and see for how long they can sleep after.

- [ ] He hates meditation with a passion, yet does it because he thinks it’s good for him

- [ ] He’s tried to get into robotics and engineering so he could help Nya and Pixal. He’s good at the concepts but when things do go right he quits and storms off

- [ ] Lloyd builds pillow forts and wraps himself up in blankets sometimes. He sees this as reclaiming his childhood but it’s also to get a sense of control in his life.

- [ ] Lloyd is simple with his pizza toppings, as a kid he only ever liked cheese but he’s growing towards pepperoni cause it’s Jays favorite too and everyone else can tolerate it.

- [ ] Lloyd is very specific about his choice or bedsheets. He’s spent days picking the right sheets and textures and heat

[thewickedharlot]

Something we don’t discuss often enough is the enigma that is Damian Kozak and his BDE. On paper there seems to be very little that would lead one to believe that some of the most attractive women in the industry would even glance his way and yet somehow he has, and let me quote one of his more notable exs, a long list of ex lovers, that I know a lot of people would die for.

From the earliest we can track down that we can say is for sure was Bonnie Astor (nee Walker), before she was somebody anybody cared about. Judging by their socials, it was an on and off thing for a few years, right up until Damian fell into a trap of his own in the form of Olivia Bennett. (Although it looks like they had a brief comeback given the public brawl between Damian and Fletcher Astor)

It’s still unclear how the two ended up on each others radars. The pair were first linked in the comment section of Damian's Instagram where they bonded over the existence of aliens of all things? Damian and her sister, Stella Bennett are friends so it’s possible that’s the connecting factor but somehow Olivia sunk her teeth into Damian and what happened next was the weirdest series of events that has ever been triggered by such a basic looking man. 

Public sex, a weird feud that resulted in Bonnie somehow getting to open for Olivia on both legs of her last world tour and a reality television show being where it all ends makes sense. It was a trainwreck right until the very end. It was the “I Love You” heard around the world followed by the most public rejection possible and one of the few times we’ve ever looked at Olivia and thought ‘Girl Boss’ until it became clear she left him for Phoenix Undergrove and potentially caused his death (Wtf girl?). 

Damian disappears after for a while after which makes sense because, duh embarrassing, and then finds himself linked to two other women. First, he’s spotted in a park with Elyssa Rappaport. Which, wow talk about out of his league. However more recently it appears that Damian and Kimber Tate have gotten engaged. Admittedly, Kimber makes the most sense out of these women, but the way this man has to be packing because why else would anyone want to tolerate his long winded monologues about the meaning of life and death? 

There is one other woman Damian keeps around, for longer than we can prove, Peach Rivera. And honestly, we have no idea how the pair met or why they appear close but a deep dive into their socials makes us think its been a while and the only reason we can think she’d stick around him as long as she has is the same reason all these other women keep coming back. He’s packing. 

So who’s next or is the marriage going to stick? We simply cannot wait to see how this all plays out but you can catch Damian on tour supporting Cole Addams with his ex Bonnie Astor and the amount of tour tickets that were sold simply because people want to be there when this all implodes (We have tickets to at least 6 shows already just in case) Stay tuned. It’s sure to be a disaster. 

[k-s-morgan]

Oh I have to disagree! Hear me out… I don’t really think that Tom is a psychopath, at least not entirely. 1/6

Jo said in an interview that if merope had survived and raised him, he would’ve been normal. Neither the gunts genes nor the love potion had any effect on him. At all. It’s just a misconception in the HP fandom. Jo said that The love potion was just a symbolic way of showing that he came out of a loveless union. And that he would’ve been completely fine if his mother raised him. His loveless upbringing in the orphanage is what stunted his emotional growth and twisted him. 2/6

There’s actually this interesting bit about Children in orphanages written by Jo herself: “Another day, another children’s institution and I was shown into a room full of totally silent babies. They had learned that crying brought no comfort and their lack of interest in eye contact was eerie. The photographer wanted me to smile; I wanted to cry.” 3/6

“He hardly ever cried.” Is how miss Cole describes Tom as a baby. ring any bells? 4/6

Just think about it. It’s his forever wound. his downfall is a mother’s love, starting from Lily to end with narcissa. That’s why his relationship with Nagini is so fascinating to me, Merope can speak to snakes, Nagini can turn into one. Miss Cole wonders if Merope came from a Circus. while Nagini actually works there. 5/6

Both were abandoned by their love interest..Nagini by Creedence, and Merope by riddle senior. Not to mention that both of them were the same age when Tom was born. Nagini helps rebirth Voldemort in goblet of fire, Pettigrew literally had to “milk” her venom for the ritual. Need I say more? 6/6

-----------------------------------

Thank you for sharing your take! I loved some of your ideas, though I have to disagree back on some. What the creators say about their work can be illuminating, but it's always an addition to canon. In canon (and by canon I mean 7 books, though some might disagree), there is nothing definite about Tom's condition. So it's not a misconception to say he's a psychopath and to believe the continued Amortentia use might have contributed to his inability to love - it's one of possible interpretations. There is nothing in the text to outright confirm or deny it.

Tom meets almost all criteria to be classified as a psychopath: ego-centric, lacking empathy, capable only of shallow emotional connections; charming, with low frustration tolerance, impulsive, pathological liar, prone to violence. If Merope had raised him, he could have indeed been different, although I can see several ways of development. From how we see her in canon, she doesn’t seem likely to be able to provide Tom with a healthy environment, but some people transform drastically when they give birth to a child, so maybe this could have happened to her. Having a healthy influence, love, and attention since childhood could stir Tom in the right direction. Many psychopaths lead satisfying lives and never hurt anybody. In canon, though, Tom's circumstances played a big role as well, I agree with you here.

What you said about children not crying in orphanages + what Mrs. Cole said to describe Tom seem to contradict each other to me.

Mrs. Cole: He was a funny baby too. He hardly ever cried.

Mrs. Cole makes an accent on it, implying that Tom differed from other children and that he was the only one to show this kind of behavior, even though they were all raised in a similar way.

Basically, there can be different interpretations about what Tom is, how he came to be the way he is and what could have been done to make him different. I explained mine, you explained yours - there can't be a right or wrong view here because canon is ambiguous in this regard. I do love the parallel you mentioned with mother’s love being Tom’s downfall, this creates a sense of beautiful and tragic poetry. 

[m-aster-of-spinjitzu]

the hues of an empty sky

Missing memories, or having two of them for one moment - not quite the same, but if there's one thing Jay's leant over the last few weeks, it's that literally nothing makes sense anymore.

Or, some Skybound aftermath, Zane actually expressing emotions about his memory switch being turned off for all those years, and what was supposed to be a 'they tell everyone about the erased timeline' fic, but it turned into a 'two characters who barely interact on screen talk at like one am in the morning, and don't actually tell the other what exactly they're alluding to the whole time' fic that I wrote at like one am- 

Also yeah, I realized too late that they split up to look for Wu after s7, we’re just gonna pretend that they waited a few days or something, idk anymore tbh, lol.

(I also didn't have time to edit - so please tell me where the typos are? 😂💛)

Word count: 4539

Prompt: crying, from @ninjago-bingo 's warm board.

Trigger warnings: the main character has a panic attack, and squeezes their fingernails into their hands once or twice but I think that's it.

*facepalms* also, guys, i’m so stupid - i literally just realized that this freaking CHANGES TENSE HALFWAY OHMYGOSH I-  i don’t think it’s super noticeable, but ugh, apologies to anyone who actually thought my writing was good lol-

---

It's cold.

Bitterly, freezing cold.

The biting chill of the air is a bit strange for this time of year, but, heck, that's nowhere near the craziest thing that's ever happened to him - not by a long shot.

He sighs, squinting at the stars dotted liberally against the black canvas of the sky.

Cole had once joked that one of them might be the remains of their golden weapons, after they'd hurled the burning mass into the sky - in another alternate timeline; one that only existed in the memories of a certain few.

Gosh - that seemed like such a long time ago.

Wouldn't it be nice to go back to that time, when he'd still thought that their powers were the coolest thing ever - instead of despising them for all the responsibility and sacrifice that came with them? When one of his biggest worries was whether the girl he had a crush on liked him back - not wondering if his friends would survive the night?

"I did not expect to find you awake at this hour, Jay."

Reflexivity, he jumps back, his mind twisting his friend's gentle voice into the- the djin's triumphant, accented one.

You're supposed to be a ninja. What good are you if your friends can still sneak up on you?

"Geez, warn a guy before you sneak up on him! I almost fell off the Bounty!"

"My apologies. I was... surprised to find you awake at this hour," Zane answers. "What are you doing?" "Couldn't sleep. It's too cold," he confesses, not entirely a lie. Ninjago wasn't 'that' far from the Sea of Sand, but he'd grown up in a much warmer area - unfortunately resulting in his practically nonexistent tolerance to the cold. That never failed to stop Kai from teasing him about it, though. He doesn't mention the pressing weight on his chest, almost tangible - or how it constantly makes him feel. Like he's being dragged through the darkness of an empty sky, spikes of fear making everything so freaking terrifying- "You?"

"I have been analyzing my memories of Pixal, in the hope that it may lead me to her whereabouts. However, all my efforts have proved... unsuccessful," Zane answers wearily, shifting his gaze to the sky.

Oh- oh. They'd all be so caught up in the chaos of the last few weeks - hey, it's not like any of them had asked the universe to permanently be out to get them! - that they'd forgotten Pixal was still offline.

"Hey, I'm sure that she's still there somewhere," he says, earnestly. "After all - she wouldn't be your girlfriend if she didn't pull a vanishing act every now and again, eh?"

The question is punctuated with a laugh, but he doesn't say that he's a little worried about her too. They hadn't talked much, but-

I can't see one of my best friends find out that his girlfriend is dead, a quiet voice at the back of his mind points out. Well - been there, done that, wouldn't recommend, he thinks bitterly. Emotional breakdowns and frequent nightmares apply. Anxiety attacks are half off, too!

It's quiet for a few minutes, neither of them seeing a need to break the silence. The wind blows softly through the sails above them; gray wisps of cloud revealing a pale sliver of moonlight that paints the sky in its glow.

It should be a peaceful night: beautiful, calm, no one trying to kill them or destroy their city - for a change.

His hands won't stop shaking.

It should be a peaceful night, but, as usual, the world is too freaking unfair for that-

He hasn't even slept for a full night in weeks! Well, not since- since-

Don't think about it! That's only going to make it worse, duh-

"Are you alright, Jay?"

"Yeah- I- I'm good, thanks," he says quickly, ignoring the way his breathing keeps speeding up. FSM, not this-

Not for the first time, the world suddenly becomes too loud - too much. Every little thing, from trying to breathe properly or even walk- feels insurmountable, because, gosh, oh gosh, it's going to come crashing down if he even moves-

The memory starts off the same as it always does.

Rubble strewn over the temple grounds, his friends literally reduced to nothing more than statues. A shot that hit the mark perfectly, but perfectly shattered his world in the process.

A poison-splattered dress, a terrifying realization.

Her well-aimed joke, but one that never fails to sting every time. Gosh, why hadn't they just allowed her to join their team in the first place? Maybe they could've prevented this- this- whole situation, if they hadn't been so freaking egotistical-

And, again, he's overwhelmed by the sheer sense of helplessness, all his power and training and skills completely useless to one of the people he cared most about. FSM, if only I hadn't used my first w-request so carelessly! If only I'd been able to escape- or, or if only I'd been able to assemble the team faster! If only-

Despite being in what must've been unimaginable pain, she offers a strained smile - a sweet gesture that, ironically, feels like she's poisoning him, because- because FSM, this is all so wrong, it wasn't supposed to end like this-

He watches with horror as her eyes dull and she stills in his arms.

She's gone, FSM, she's gone and it's all my fault-

"Jay?" a voice asks, concern evident in their tone. Distantly, he registers that he's having a breakdown in front of one of his best friends - one of the things he'd been trying really hard to avoid.

Dang it.

"I-" he tries to say, but, great, he's breathing too fast to even get the stupid words out.

"Breathe in for four seconds," Zane says, softly.

Four seconds? Time has no meaning right now, narrowed down to, like - falling down a chasm, terrified of what's at the bottom, except the fear's all around, this- this... foreboding thing of his mind that keeps yelling that he needs to run, or fight, but he can't, can't-

Right. Four seconds.

You're okay, you're fine, no one's trying to hurt you or your friends. She's not dead.

But what if- what if they're being dragged out of this ship right now? What if it was all a dream, and she's dead anyway, because all of us were too stupid to come up with another plan, and none of us could even do anything when she-

After a little while, when he could breathe a little easier, and the fear didn't feel like it was slamming into him from every possible direction, he slowly opened his eyes. Shakily, he wiped a tear from his face - as if that would wipe away all the weeks that had, theoretically, never even freaking happened.

The sky comes back into focus - pinpricks of light against pitch black. 

How was he going to come up with some sorta explanation without... well, explaining everything?

Great.

My nerves are frayed, and I have to lie to a walking lie detector - what could possibly go wrong?

"Are you alright?" Zane asks, his brows creased in concern.

"Heh heh, yeah. Probably just too many video games," he replies quickly, laughter a bit strained.

"You were muttering to yourself," his friend replies quietly. Ugh, trust the way-too-observant-nindroid to call him out on the remains of his facade. "If you do not mind me asking, what was 'all your fault'? I am sure that it was probably a misunderstanding."

You're the one who misunderstands everything, he thinks wearily, ignoring the part of him that yearns to tell someone else about... well, everything that's happened because of that stupid teapot. He's not one to keep secrets by nature, and it's been taking a bigger toll of him than he'd thought it would. Is this how Nya felt when she was still the Samurai? "It's- it's nothing, probably just nonsense."

"Are you sure? You seem... quite worried about something."

Dang it, were his hands still shaking? He presses his fingernails into his palms, squeezing his eyes shut for a second.

He's talking to one of his best friends, FSM. Weren't friends able to tell each other anything?

"Do you think it's easier to forget? Better?"

He didn't even realize he'd asked a question until Zane's eyes widened in surprise.

A forest coated in snow, ice crystals dangling from the tree branches above their heads. Plenty of screaming - way too much, he reflects, couldn't they have been a bit nicer? It must've been pretty jarring to learn that you weren't human, or that your father had erased years of your life from your mind - in that weird underground treehouse. Those crazy tree monsters - and the realization that they all had much more power than they'd thought.

"N- nevermind," he stutters, fleetingly thinking of kicking the deck. "That's way too personal, you don't have to answer it-"

"I do not mind," Zane says, a bit sadly.

Oh.

Heck, his friend was way too nice.

They gaze up at the stars for a few minutes, not really seeing them - one drowning under the weight of too many secrets, the other, too many memories.

It's quiet - too quiet.

Ugh, he thinks, sighing, that sounds like something a low-budget horror movie would start with, cringey sound effects to match.

But the silence is a painful reminder of the days he'd spent tossing and turning in a cramped cell - nothing but his worries and the bruises on his leg from that stupid ball and chain keeping him awake.

He's been trying hard - maybe too hard - to avoid being alone, avoid being in a situation where they've gotta be quiet ever since then, because, dang it, his memories always seem to fill the silence, and they're always far more terrifying than they should be-

It's easier, in a way, to be mocked for his stupid jokes than it is to relive a single moment from those nightmarish few weeks.

Almost reflexively, he grasps for something to fill the quiet.

"Heh, this is a bit awkward. It's okay if you wanna leave-"

"I do not mind," Zane echoes, walking a bit closer. "It is not as if I need to sleep. But... I do not quite know what to think of your question."

There comes the answer - or a semblance of one at least, and it's the last thing he'd been expecting.

"You don't know?" he blurts out before he can even think of trying to filter the thought. Way to treat your friend who's been nothing but kind to you, Jay. "But you're- you're a nindroid! You know everything-"

"Pixal," his friend mutters softly, sighing, and the hurt, the fear, laced through the word makes something in his heart practically twist. He knows all too well what it feels like to be in that situation - even if, technically, it had never happened.

Then- "I wish that were true. But I suppose that my emotions make certain situations much more complicated than... than they need to be. Thus I cannot give my perspective on this - or, at least, without sounding quite conflicted."

"You know that you're allowed to be conflicted, right? Even the coolest Nindroids don't know everything."

"...Yes, I suppose so."

Jay frowns at the almost subconscious hesitation, eyebrows creasing in concern.

"Seriously," he starts earnestly. They're both leaning on one of the railings just above the deck now. "Just 'cause you're a nindroid doesn't mean that you've gotta chase some kind of perfection that doesn't even exist."

He doesn't miss how Zane's eyes widen in shock, their bright blue hue glowing a little brighter - and heck, if that doesn't hurt even more than the earlier realization.

"Besides - it's not like none of us haven't made mistakes before. Hate to go all Wu on ya, but they help us learn or some stupid thing like that. Even if the mistake is trying not to make 'em, you know?"

"Thank you," Zane replies, a tired smile on his face. "Even the most advanced tech is susceptible to error, I suppose."

They've all made lots of mistakes, heaven forbid if one of them is still agonizing over messing up over the crazy situations the universe constantly put them in. It's not like they were told they'd have to face more ancient evil armies than they could count, were they?

Maybe it's time to stop focusing on events that never even happened, and pay more attention to your friends. What's the point of being part of this team if you're always scared or selfish?

"Shut up," he mumbles, rubbing his temples. What's the point of fighting if your own brain is gonna fight you whenever it gets a chance? A few seconds later, he schools his face back into his default anxious grin. "Great, cause I- I- could use your advice on something." "Alright," comes the quiet reply, his friend seemingly lost in thought.

"What if you wanted to tell someone something, but you couldn't?"

His breathing starts to speed up again, but he grips the deck until his fingers are practically bruised, stark white against his tanned skin. Not this time-

"Is this what you were referring to earlier? An event that you blamed yourself for?" Zane asks, eyes flitting between the floor and the sky.

Dang it, way too observant as usual. He masks his surprise with a laugh, but the conversation definitely isn't going as planned and, oh gosh oh gosh, what if-

No, there's no way that any of them would even believe that. Besides - no one can remember stuff that they've forgotten, especially if magic's at play.

"Yeah, kinda," and he's surprised by how steady his voice sounds. It's not easy to even think about that- event, talking about it is a whole different thing. A much more difficult thing, but also - a bit, a little bit, easier. "I-" "Apologies for interrupting," his friend interjects. "I suppose that I have not been entirely honest with you." What?

"A few days ago, I discovered a number of deleted memory files buried deep within my code."

Just like that, his whole world tilts out from underneath him.

It takes every ounce of his strength to keep himself from falling into the abyss again.

Wait, what?

Has he really known for all this time? It's been weeks! Surely he would've said something? It can't be, it never even-

The rational part of his mind points out that he can remember every day of those few weeks. Well, he was the one to make the wish - magical logic is kinda stupid, but maybe that's why he had to remember it or something?

Well then, a small voice interjects, why was Nya cursed to remember everything too?

Of course, even the stupid magical logic doesn't even make sense to the one who caused this whole mess in the first place.

"They were almost entirely corrupted - scrambled in a way that I am not familiar with. However, I did realize that certain files bore dates that have not even occurred yet. I dismissed it as a problem with my code, however..."

Breathe, calm down, it's not like he was able to process them or anything-

We agreed that no one was supposed to know! What if they end up blaming us for keeping it a secret this long, or, or-

"I mean, they could've been-" he starts, but the way in which he's nervously twisting his fingers is a pretty clear indication that he's lying, dang it.

"So when you mentioned that you were unable to tell someone something - did you mean that it was because they had quite literally forgotten about it?"

Great. Fantastic. Of course the literal robot has pieced it together by now-

He squeezes his eyes shut for a minute, hoping that if he ignores the problem, maybe it'll go away.

Okay, fine, maybe he's trying to figure out a way to fix this whole mess. Doesn't mean that he's any closer to coming up with a solution, though.

"Er, yeah," he whispers, shoulders slumped, eyes still firmly shut. Because gosh, he doesn't want to - can't, can't - see the realization dawn that, yeah, he's lied to people he's known for years and years, even though they've all seen way too many times that secrets bring nothing but trouble-

"Well, then - I would say that you don't have to tell them," Zane replies, surprisingly... earnestly? That, or he's either too freaked out to understand the tone properly. Could be either.

He opens his eyes, hesitantly.

And it comes as a bit of a shock to find nothing but concern reflected in his friend's.

The almost persistent weight on his chest feels a little lighter now, like the sky isn't as quite so empty.

Well, it still kinda is. But that doesn't hold as much weight as he'd thought it did - not if one of his friends is willing to look past that; past the heaviness of holding up all those memories with nothing his single star, flickering in and out of the darkness, to try and light the unforgiving darkness of the sky.

"Why?" Jay asks, so quietly he can barely hear it himself. "Don't I owe it to them? Do you?"

"No. Definitely not," comes the reply, so full of conviction that he almost stumbles back. Why-

"My father..."

Oh- oh.

"thought it was better to spare me the pain of mourning him than for me to know who I was," Zane confesses, hesitantly. "Not that I disagree, necessarily. I just..."

He trails off, clutching the railing so hard that the wood almost snaps beneath his titanium fingers.

It takes Jay a little while to realize why - why exactly his friend, who has access to a wealth of knowledge and information, is grasping for an answer. Because- because, well, even if someone does something in your best interests - sometimes the choice isn't always up to them. Or maybe it is, but it was... difficult, to say the least, to let go of the fact that his parents had never told him the truth sooner. Not that he blames them, necessarily - it's not like they knew that his father would pass on before he'd even get the chance to meet him - but... it's confusing, and difficult, not to know why you were left at a junkyard as soon as you were born. Maybe if he'd known that sooner, he could've asked the one person who might've had answers - although it's not like hoping for the past to change will actually change it.

They don't even know that you know, a small voice at the back of his mind points out, and suddenly everything makes a lot more sense-

"You wanted a choice," he breathes, eyes widening. A choice - like one that he'd never been given, one that he stills struggles not to hold against two people who've always had his best interests at heart. Even if they did have the right to withhold that one thing, after all they've done for him - the 'what if's' still echo in his mind far more often than he'd like. "There's nothing wrong with that, even if it feels that way. I kinda get where you're coming from, dude, and it's... super confusing, but I'd be pretty mad if my memories were tampered with like that."

So would anyone, he realizes, heart sinking. Oh, great. Not helping-

"I- I suppose so?" Zane answers, but it sounds more like a question than a reply. "However, in the same vein, it would be unwise for you to give away your choice whilst you still have one." "But don't I owe it to everyone? You just said it, it's horrible to alter people's memories and I- I-" "Did we forget... whatever it was for a good reason? "I- I mean, I guess, but..." "Then you do not owe it to us to relive something that we do not even remember." The words should be a relief - and they kinda are. But some part of him really does want to explain the crazy alternate timeline, and everything that happened in it. It's just... really, really freaking difficult.

"What if- what if I wanted to, though?" Jay asks hysterically, running his hands through his hair in a frenzied sort of way. "And I still couldn't? I just, I-"

He cuts himself off with a bout of forced laughter.

Zane takes a moment to reply, the bright blue light in his eyes flickering - a small tell that he was thinking so deeply, his processors were literally sparking up a bit.

"You queried earlier if it was easier, or better, to forget. And while all situations are different, I suppose it is... well, subjective. What do you think?" Zane asks, softly.

Derailing the conversation a bit, but his friend's obviously smart enough to be leading up to something.

Sure, he'll go along with it.

"I mean, there are some things I'd rather forget, you know? I guess we all know what that feels like," Jay replies, the statement with oddly sad air to it. They're still kids, after all, and it gets a bit exhausting pretending that their superhero lives were all fun and games - when they'd just given him enough grey hair to last then lifetimes, and enough nightmares to keep him from ever getting the normal amount of sleep his mum always prattled on about.

Sleep, heh heh. Practically a foreign concept, now.

"And I know that stuff that happens, like shapes us or something - and Master Wu would probably go off on a whole ramble about why we learn from our mistakes or whatever," he laughs nervously, resisting the urge to just fall headfirst onto the deck of the stupid ship instead of continuing the conversation," and how 'our scars only make us stronger', crap like that, but I just-"

"I'm just really... tired of this," he confesses warily, shoulders slumped. "W- I remember so many horrible things, and I-" he breaks off, laughing bitterly. His voice takes on a sort of brittle quality, way too high pitched, "and I can't even talk about them, dude. If that's not the most pathetic thing ever, I dunno what is."

"It does not-"

"Don't say it," Jay mutters, rubbing his temples. "I know, I know, my feelings aren't pathetic, they're always valid, whatever, spare me the lecture-"

"That is not what I was going to say," Zane replies gently. "It just seems that you have answered your own question."

"Gee, which one?"

"I do not know how much helpful assistance I can provide in this situation, but it is understandable to wish certain events had never occurred. However, seeing as we cannot change the past, it seems unwise to dwell on said events if you can avoid it."

Jay stiffens, clamping a shaky hand over his mouth. Something seems to press down even harder on his chest, a heavy sort of weight that causes his breathing to speed up again. Don't say it don't say it there's no reason to warn them this time-

"If you would like to tell any of us about something, of course you are welcome to. It does not to be the whole story, after all. Just make sure that it is the decision you choose, not one you choose because of what you think how it will affect others," Zane finishes quietly, ducking his head as if he's embarrassed.

The stars are still white-hot, burning away some million miles above them.

"Thanks," he says, and puts his hand softly on Zane's shoulder. "I mean, I know - that all makes sense, I guess. It's just- I-"

"You want to?"

"Yeah," Jay starts, sighing, "I do. It's just- it's not just my choice. And I'm pretty much dying already right now, so, as fantastic as making it all worse sounds, hard pass."

Oops, maybe he shouldn't have said that last bit. They'd agreed not to tell anyone about it - even this conversation was cutting it way too close. It wasn't impossible for them to put everything together - they were a pretty smart group, after all, even without their resident inventor and engineer - and Jay didn't really know what he'd think if they did. Fearful? Relieved? Angry?

"That does... not sound great? Dying certainly does not seem-"

"It's called sarcasm, Zane."

"Oh- yes. My memory now accesses the fact that people often speak in that manner. It does seem a bit counterproductive, though. Why not just say what you mean?"

"Shut it, you have no clue how integral to my life it is," Jay replies with a halfhearted grin.

A few seconds later, he remembers something his friend had mentioned earlier, and the grin disappears.

"You know that you can talk to us if you're not happy, right?" he asks, earnestly. Sure, it's not like he could always do that, considering, well, a stupid djin and even stupider magic, but it's not like he needs to. It's- well- he'll be okay, probably. Maybe. Kinda.

Zane's eyes blink on and off again, blue fading in and out. "I... I suppose that I was not quite aware of that."

Okay, they've screwed up way too many times, but this... this is pretty bad. Dang it, how long does it take for them to throw self-preservation instincts at their friend before he freaking- picks them up or something?

"However, will it not hurt those who have experienced the same unfortunate events?"

Dude, not the best question to ask someone wondering the exact same thing-

"It's been... uh, nice, kind of, talking to you. So- I don't think so, and I'm pretty sure someone would say so if it did. Besides, don't we talk about our adventures all the time? It'd probably be better if we... uh, well- heh heh, nothing."

"If we talked about the less than positive elements of them? Perhaps, but I still-"

Maybe it's the fact Zane has always tried to be there for him, or maybe he's too sleep deprived to care anymore, but this is a way too familiar situation and-

Well, not ignoring the issue would be a start.

"Sorry to interrupt, but we're family, Zane. We care about each other. And, gosh, that means that we care about you too. Memories are stupid and annoying sometimes, but we have to make good ones too, right? To block out the bad ones a bit, I guess? Kinda, at least."

They both look away from the stars now, grappling for something else to say.

In the end, they leave it be with a hug and a fondly exasperated warning about sleeping, if you happen to need it.

After all, they're family. They don't have to be perfect, or tell each other everything - even if it does take them a long time to realize that, and an even longer time remembering it.

---

The next time Jay startles awake from a nightmare, the sky is still empty - painfully so, like an ache that simmers beneath the surface even when it's not able to be seen.

The hue, though, is a little lighter.

Just a little - the all-encompassing darkness of it is now a navy sort of blue, his star shining a little bit brighter.

It's still not sunrise, not even close - but he'll take it. AN: the ‘sky’ mentioned at the start and end is a stupid metaphor that i somehow ended up liking too much to trash, it’s ‘empty’ because he hasn’t told anyone about the timeline, and Nya’s not included because they never had a chance to tell each other everything significant or even talked about it or processed it on screen. so yeah! if you read this,,, not great thing, can i send you a hug or good vibes or smth? tyy🥺

[sk1fanfiction]

the many faces of tom riddle, part 4

-attachment, orphanages, and yet more child psych: time to add yet another voice to the void-

FULL DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION OF A CHARACTER WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE STRONGEST CANON CHARACTERIZATION, AND THUS ALL THIS IS BASED ON MY CONCEPTUALIZATION.

I'm going to be super biased, because my favorite portrayal of Tom Riddle is actually Hero Fiennes-Tiffin as eleven-year-old Tom Riddle, in HBP and I get to chat about child psych in this one, sooo here we go.

First of all, I’m just so impressed that a kid could bring that much depth to such a complex character.

This is the portrayal, I feel, that brings us closest to Tom’s character. Yes, Coulson’s brought us pretty close, but by fifth year, the mask was on.

We don't really get to see Tom looking afraid very often, but it's fear that rules his life, so it's really poignant in our first (chronologically) introduction, he looks absolutely terrified.

The void being the fandom's loud opinions on a certain headmaster. I wouldn't call myself pro-Dumbledore, but I'm certainly not anti-Dumbledore, either. (Agnostic-Dumbledore??)

Since I'm not of the anti-Dumbledore persuasion, I decided to poke around in the tags and see what the arguments were, so I don't make comments out of ignorance.

Most of the tag seems to be more directed towards his treatment of Harry and Sirius, but a few people mentioned that Dumbledore should have treated Tom with ‘exceptional kindness’ and tried to ‘rehabilitate’ him.

As I said in Parts 2 and 3, I am 100% in favor of helping a traumatized kid learn to cope, and I don’t think Tom Riddle was solidly on the Path to Evil (TM) at birth, or even at eleven. Not even at fifteen.

Could unconditional love and kindness have helped Tom Riddle enough for the rise of Lord Voldemort to never happen? Possibly, but...

Yes, I'm about to drag up that Carl Jung quote, again.

“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”

The problem with this is that if you’re going to blame Dumbledore for this, you also have to blame every other adult in Tom’s life: his headmaster, Dippet, his Head of House, Slughorn, his ‘caretakers’ at the orphanage, Mrs. Cole and Martha, and possibly more. In fact, if we're going to blame any adult, let's blame Merope for r*ping and abusing Tom Riddle Senior, and having a kid she wasn't intending to take care of.

Furthermore, you cannot possibly hold anyone but Tom accountable for the murders he committed. (I should not have to sit here and explain why cold-blooded murder is wrong.) And if you like Tom Riddle's character, insinuating that his actions are completely at the whim of others is just a bit condescending towards him. He's not an automaton or a marionette, he's a very intelligent human being with a functioning brain, and at sixteen is fully capable of moral reasoning and critical analysis.

I've heard the theories about Dumbledore setting the Potters up to die, and I'm not going to discuss their validity right now; but he didn't put a wand in Tom's hand and force him to kill anyone. Tom did it all of his own accord.

And while yes, I have enormous sympathy for what happened to Tom as a child, at some point, he decided to murder Myrtle Warren, and that is where I lose my sympathy. Experiencing trauma does not give you the right to inflict harm on others. Yes, Tom was failed, but then, he spectacularly failed himself.

We also have no idea how Dumbledore treated Tom as a student.

In the movies, it’s Dumbledore who tells Tom he has to go back to the orphanage, but in the books, it’s Dippet. We know that Slughorn spent a lot of time around Tom at Slug Club and such, yet I don’t really see people clamoring for his head.

I regard the sentiment that Dumbledore turned Tom Riddle into Lord Voldemort with a lot of skepticism.

But let's hear from the character himself -- his impression of eleven-year-old Tom Riddle.

“Did I know that I had just met the most dangerous Dark wizard of all time?” said Dumbledore. “No, I had no idea that he was to grow up to be what he is. However, I was certainly intrigued by him. I returned to Hogwarts intending to keep an eye upon him, something I should have done in any case, given that he was alone and friendless, but which, already, I felt I ought to do for others’ sake as much as his."

Now, assuming that Dumbledore's telling the truth, I'm not seeing something glaringly wrong with this. No, he hasn't pigeonholed Tom as evil, yes, I'd be intrigued, too, and it's a very good idea to keep an eye on Tom, for his own sake.

“At Hogwarts,” Dumbledore went on, “we teach you not only to use magic, but to control it. You have — inadvertently, I am sure — been using your powers in a way that is neither taught nor tolerated at our school."

Again, it seems like he's at least somewhat sympathetic towards Tom, and is willing to at least give him a chance.

More evidence (again, assuming Dumbledore is a reliable narrator):

Harry: “Didn’t you tell them [the other professors], sir, what he’d been like when you met him at the orphanage?” Dumbledore: “No, I did not. Though he had shown no hint of remorse, it was possible that he felt sorry for how he had behaved before and was resolved to turn over a fresh leaf. I chose to give him that chance.”

Now, I think Dumbledore is pretty awful with kids, but I don't think that's malicious. Yeah, it's a flaw, but perfect people don't exist, and perfect characters are dead boring. I am not saying that he definitely handled Tom's case well, I'm just saying that there's little evidence that Dumbledore, however shaken and scandalized, wrote him off as 'evil snake boy.'

It's also worth taking into account that it's 1938, and the attitudes towards mental health back then.

Why is Tom looking at Dumbledore like that, anyway? Why is he so scared? What has he possibly been threatened with or heard whispers of?

"'Professor'?" repeated Riddle. He looked wary. "Is that like 'doctor'? What are you here for? Did she get you in to have a look at me?"

"I don't believe you," said Riddle. "She wants me looked at, doesn't she? Tell the truth!"

"You can't kid me! The asylum, that's where you're from, isn't it? 'Professor,' yes, of course -- well, I'm not going, see? That old cat's the one who should be in the asylum. I never did anything to little Amy Benson or Dennis Bishop, and you can ask them, they'll tell you!

Tom keeps insisting he's not mad until Dumbledore finally manages to calm him down.

I'm really upset this wasn't in the movie, because it's important context. Instead we got these throwaway cutscenes of some knick-knacks relating to the Cave he's got lying around, but I just would have preferred to see him freaking out like he does in the book.

There was extreme stigma and prejudice towards mental illness.

'Lunatic asylums,' as they were called in Tom's time, were terrible places. In the 1930s and 40s, he could look forward to being 'treated' with induced convulsions, via metrazol, insulin, electroshock, and malaria injections. And if he stuck around long enough, he could even look forward to a lobotomy!

So, if you think Dumbledore was judgmental towards Tom, imagine how flat-out prejudiced whatever doctors or 'experts' Mrs. Cole might have gotten in to 'look at him' must have been!

Moving on to the next few shots, he is sitting down and hunched over as if expecting punishment or at least some kind of bad news, Dumbledore is mostly out of the frame. He’s trapped visually, by Dumbledore on one side, and a wall on the other, because he’s still very much afraid. uncomfortable, as he tells Dumbledore a secret that he fears could get him committed to an asylum (which were fucking horrible places, as I said).

It brings to the scene that miserable sense of isolation and loneliness to that has defined Tom’s entire life up to that point (and, partially due to his own bad choices, continues to define it).

And, when Dumbledore accepts it, his posture changes. he becomes more confident and more at ease, as he describes the... utilities of his magical abilities. 

"All sorts," breathed Riddle. A flush of excitement was rising up his neck into his hollow cheeks; he looked fevered. "I can make things move without touching them. I can make animals do what I want them to do, without training them. I can make bad things happen to people who annoy me. I can make them hurt if I want to."

Riddle lifted his head. His face was transfigured: There was a wild happiness upon it, yet for some reason it did not make him better looking; on the contrary, his finely carved features seemed somehow rougher, his expression almost bestial.

I do think Harry, our narrator, is being a tad bit judgmental here. Magic is probably the only thing that brings Tom happiness in his grey, lonely world, and when I was Tom's age and being bullied, if I had magic powers, you'd better believe that I'd (a) be bloody ecstatic about it (b) use them. And, like Tom, I can't honestly say that I can't imagine getting a bit carried-away with it. Unfortunately, we can't all be as inherently good and kindhearted as Harry.

Reading HBP again, as a 'mature' person, it almost seems like the reader is being prompted to see Tom as evil just because he's got 'weird' facial expressions.

So... uh...

Nope, let's judge Tom on his actions, not looks of 'wild happiness.'

To his great surprise, however, Dumbledore drew his wand from an inside pocket of his suit jacket, pointed it at the shabby wardrobe in the corner, and gave the wand a casual flick. The wardrobe burst into flames. Riddle jumped to his feet; Harry could hardly blame him for howling in shock and rage; all his worldly possessions must be in there. But even as Riddle rounded on Dumbledore, the flames vanished, leaving the wardrobe completely undamaged.

Okay, one thing I dislike is Tom's lack of emotional affect when Dumbledore burned the wardrobe, in the books, he jumped up and started screaming, instead of looking passively (in shock, perhaps?) at the fire. Incidentally, I can't really tell if he's impressed or in shock, to be honest. I think they really tried to make Tom 'creepier' in the movie.

This is one of the incidents where Dumbledore's inability to deal with children crops up.

I think he was trying to teach Tom that magic can be dangerous, and he wouldn't like it to be used against him, but burning the wardrobe that contains everything he owns was a terrible move on Dumbledore's part. Tom already has very limited trust in other people, and now, he's not going to trust Dumbledore at all -- now, he's put Tom on the defensive/offensive for the rest of their interaction, and perhaps for the rest of their teacher-student relationship.

Riddle stared from the wardrobe to Dumbledore; then, his expression greedy, he pointed at the wand. "Where can I get one of them?"

"Where do you buy spellbooks?" interrupted Riddle, who had taken the heavy money bag without thanking Dumbledore, and was now examining a fat gold Galleon.

But I'm not surprised Tom is 'greedy.' He's grown up in an environment where if he wants something, whether that's affection, food, money, toys, he's got to take it. There's no one looking after his needs specifically. I'm not surprised that he's a thief and a hoarder, and I don't think that counts as a moral failing necessarily, and more of a maladaptive way of seeking comfort. It would be bizarre if he came out of Wool's Orphanage a complete saint.

Additionally, I think given that the Gaunt family has a history of 'mental instability,' Tom is a sensitive child, and the trauma of growing up institutionalized and possibly being treated badly due to his magical abilities or personality disorder deeply affected him.

And there are points where it seems that Dumbledore is quick to judge Tom.

"He was already using magic against other people, to frighten, to punish, to control."

"Yes, indeed; a rare ability, and one supposedly connected with the Dark Arts, although as we know, there are Parselmouths among the great and the good too. In fact, his ability to speak to serpents did not make me nearly as uneasy as his obvious instincts for cruelty, secrecy, and domination."

"I trust that you also noticed that Tom Riddle was already highly self-sufficient, secretive, and, apparently, friendless?..."

And while this is all empirically true, these are (a) a product of Tom's harsh environment, and (b) do not necessarily make him evil. But the point remains that child psych didn't exist as a field of its own, and psychology as a proper science was in its infancy, so I'd be shocked if Dumbledore was insightful about Tom's situation.

But I've gone a ton of paragraphs without citing anything, so I've got to rectify that.

Let's talk about Harry Harlow's monkey experiments in the 1950-70s.

If you're not a fan of animal research, since I know some people are uncomfortable with it, feel free to scroll past.

Here's the TL;DR: Children need to be hugged and shown affection too, not just fed and clothed, please don't leave babies to 'cry out' and ignore their needs because it's backwards and fucking inhumane. HUG AND COMFORT AND CODDLE CHILDREN AND SPOIL THEM WITH AFFECTION!

I will put more red writing when the section is over.

This is still an interesting experiment to have in mind while we explore the whole 'no one taught Tom Riddle how to love' thing and whether or not it's actually a good argument.

Andddd let's go all the way back to the initial 1958 experiment, featured in Harlow's paper, the Nature of Love. (If you're familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, him and Harlow actually collaborated for a time).

To give you an idea of our starting point, until Harlow's experiment, which happened twenty years after Dumbledore meets Tom for the first time, no one in science had really been interested in studying love and affection.

"Psychologists, at least psychologists who write textbooks, not only show no interest in the origin and development of love or affection, but they seem to be unaware of its very existence."

I'm going to link some videos of Harry Harlow showing the actual experiment, which animal rights activists would probably consider 'horrifying.' It's nothing gory or anything, but if you are particularly soft-hearted (and I do not mean that as an insult), be warned. It's mostly just baby monkeys being very upset and Harlow discussing it in a callous manner. Yes, today it would be considered unethical, but it's still incredibly important work and if you think you can handle it, I would recommend watching at least the first one to get an idea of how dramatic this effect is.

Dependency when frightened

The full experiment

The TL;DW:

This experiment was conducted with rhesus macaques; they're still used in psychology/neuroscience research when you want very human-like subjects, because they are very intelligent (unnervingly so, actually). I'd say that adult ones remind me of a three-year old child.

Harlow separated newborn monkeys from their mothers, and cared for their physical needs. They had ample nutrition, bedding, warmth, et cetera. However, the researchers noticed that the monkeys:

(a) were absolutely miserable. And not just that, but although all their physical needs were taken care of, they weren't surviving well past the first few days of life. (This has also been documented in human babies, and it's called failure to thrive and I'll talk about it a bit later).

(b) showed a strong attachment to the gauze pads used to cover the floor, and decided to investigate.

So, they decided to provide a surrogate 'mother.' Two, actually. Mother #1 was basically a heated fuzzy doll that was nice for the monkeys to cuddle with. Mother #2 was the same, but not fuzzy and made of wire. Both provided milk. The result? The monkeys spent all their time cuddling and feeding from the fuzzy 'mother.' Perhaps not surprising.

What Harlow decided next, is that one of the hallmarks being attached to your caregiver is seeking hugs and reassurance from them when frightened. So, when the monkeys were presented with something scary, they'd go straight to the cloth mother and ignore the wire one. Not only that, but when placed in an unfamiliar environment, if the cloth mother was present, the monkeys would be much calmer.

In a follow-up experiment, Harlow decided to see if there was some sort of sensitive period by introducing both 'mothers' to monkeys who had been raised in isolation for 250 days. Guess what?

The initial reaction of the monkeys to the alterations was one of extreme disturbance. All the infants screamed violently and made repeated attempts to escape the cage whenever the door was opened. They kept a maximum distance from the mother surrogates and exhibited a considerable amount of rocking and crouching behavior, indicative of emotionality.

Yikes. So, at first Harlow thought that they'd passed some kind of sensitive period for socialization. But after a day or two they calmed down and started chilling out with the cloth mother like the other monkeys did. But here's a weird thing:

That the control monkeys develop affection or love for the cloth mother when she is introduced into the cage at 250 days of age cannot be questioned. There is every reason to believe, however, that this interval of delay depresses the intensity of the affectional response below that of the infant monkeys that were surrogate-mothered from birth onward

All these things... attachment, affection, love, seeking comfort ... are mostly learned behaviours.

Over.

Orphanages, institutionalized childcare, and why affection is a need, not an extra.

His face is lit the exact same was as Coulson’s was in COS (half-light, half-dark), and I said I was going to talk about this in Part 3. I think perhaps it's intended to make Fiennes-Tiffin look more evil or menacing, but I'm going to quite deliberately misinterpret it.

Now, for some context, Dumbledore has just (kind of) burned his wardrobe, ratted out his stealing habit, and (in the books only, they really took a pair of scissors to this scene) told him he needs to go apologize and return everything and Dumbledore will know if he doesn't, and, well, Tom's not exactly a happy bugger about it.

But interestingly, in the books, this is when we start to see Tom's 'persona,' aka his mask, start to come into play. Whereas before, he was screaming, howling, and generally freaking out, here, he starts to hide his emotions -- in essence, obscure his true self under a shadow. So this scene is really the reverse of Coulson's in COS.

And perhaps I'm reading wayyy too much into this, but I can't help but notice that Coulson's hair is parted opposite to Fiennes-Tiffin's, and the opposite sides of their faces are shadowed, too.

Riddle threw Dumbledore a long, clear, calculating look. "Yes, I suppose so, sir," he said finally, in an expressionless voice.

Riddle did not look remotely abashed; he was still staring coldly and appraisingly at Dumbledore. At last he said in a colorless voice, "Yes, sir."

Here's an article from The Atlantic on Romanian orphanages in the 1980s, when the dictator, Ceausescu, basically forced people to have as many children as possible and funnel them into institutionalized 'childcare', and it's absolutely heartbreaking.

There's not a whole lot of information out there on British orphanages in the 30s' and 40s', but given that people back then thought you just had to keep children on a strict schedule and feed them, it wouldn't have a whole lot better.

The only thing I've found is this, and it's not super promising.

The most important study informing the criteria for contemporary nosologies, was a study by Barbara Tizard and her colleagues of young children being raised in residential nurseries in London (Tizard, 1977). These nurseries had lower child to caregiver ratios than many previous studies of institutionalized children. Also, the children were raised in mixed aged groups and had adequate books and toys available. Nevertheless, caregivers were explicitly discouraged from forming attachments to the children in their care.

Here's a fairly recent paper that I think gives a good summary: Link

Here, they describe the responses to the Strange Situation test (which tests a child's attachment to their caregiver).

We found that 100% of the community sample received a score of “5,” indicating fully formed attachments, whereas only 3% of the infants living in institutions demonstrated fully formed attachments. The remaining 97% showed absent, incomplete, or odd and abnormal attachment behaviors.

Bowlby and Ainsworth, who did the initial study, thought that children would always attach to their caregivers, regardless of neglect or abuse. But some infants don't attach (discussed along with RAD in Part 2).

Here's a really good review paper on attachment disorders in currently or formerly institutionalized children : Link

Core features of RAD in young children include the absence of focused attachment behaviors directed towards a preferred caregiver, failure to seek and respond to comforting when distressed, reduced social and emotional reciprocity, and disturbances of emotion regulation, including reduced positive affect and unexplained fearfulness or irritability.

Which all sounds a lot like Tom in this scene. The paper also discusses neurological effects, like atypical EEG power distribution (aka brain waves), which can correlate with 'indiscriminate' behavior and poor inhibitory control; which makes sense for a kid who, oh, I don't know, hung another kid's rabbit because they were angry.

Furthermore...

...those children with more prolonged institutional rearing showed reduced amygdala discrimination and more indiscriminate behavior.

This again, makes a ton of sense for Tom's psychological profile, because the amygdala (which is part of the limbic system, which regulates emotions) plays a major role in fear, anger, anxiety, and aggression, especially with respect to learning, motivation and memory.

So, I agree completely that Tom needed a lot of help, especially given the fact that he spent eleven years in an orphanage (longer than the Bucharest study I was referring to), and Dumbledore wasn't exactly understanding of his situation, and probably didn't realise what a dramatic effect the orphanage had on Tom, and given the way he talks to Tom, probably treated him as if he were a kid who grew up in a healthy environment.

In case you are still unconvinced that hugging is that important, there's a famous 1944 study conducted on 40 newborn human infants to see what would happen if their physical needs (fed, bathed, diapers changed) were provided for with no affection. The study had to be stopped because half the babies died after four months. Affection leads to the production of hormones and boosts the immune system, which increases survival, and that is why we hug children and babies should not be in orphanages. They are supposed to be hugged, all the time. I can't find the citation right now, I'll add it later if I find it.

But I think it's vastly unrealistic to say that Dumbledore, who grew up during the Victorian Era, would have any grasp of this and I don't think he was actively malicious towards Tom.

Was Tom Riddle failed by institutional childcare? Absolutely.

Were the adults in his life oblivious to his situation? Probably.

Do the shitty things that happened to Tom excuse the murders he committed, and are they anyone's fault but his own? No. At the end of the day, Tom made all the wrong choices.

And, for what it's worth, I think (film) Dumbledore (although he expresses the same sentiment in more words in the books) wishes he could go back in time and have helped Tom.

"Draco. Years ago, I knew a boy, who made all the wrong choices. Please, let me help you."

[rosiehunterwolf]

Face the Music

Prompts: Karaoke

Word Count: 5,572

Characters: Cole, Kai, and Jay

Timeline: Between seasons 9 and 10

Trigger Warnings: Brief Mentions of Toxic Parent and Eating Disorder

Summary: If you ask Cole, there are some things in life better left forgotten. Especially embarrassing experiences that you would prefer not to talk about. They certainly shouldn’t be used as blackmail or as entertainment for others, and everyone should just learn to move on. Although maybe his friends aren’t the only ones that need to move on. 

Link to read on Fanfiction.Net:

https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13904278/1/Face-the-Music

Cole burst onto the deck of the Bounty, swinging the door shut behind him. Zane looked up from the control panel, looking startled. “Cole?”

“Zane!” Cole ran over to him, gasping for breath. “Quick, what’s Kai’s cell phone password?”

Zane pulled back, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“Don’t play coy with me, I know you have the passwords for everything programmed into your database! Now hurry, what is it!”

“I never denied that I did, but why would I tell you? That’s confidential information.” Glancing down at the cell phone, he asked, “Does Kai know you have his phone, Cole?”

“Uh… yeah, if it helps you sleep at night.”

Zane crossed his arms. “Cole…”

“Come on, Zane, help a friend out! It’s important!” “Cole, that is not my secret to tell. Unless it is an emergency, you don’t need to know.”

“But it is an emergency!”

“Oh really? Who’s in danger?”

“My pride,” he snapped. “C’mon, Zane, please, what do you want? I’ll do your dishes for a month! Or- or, uh, take patrol duties for the next three weeks. Hey, hey, what about cooking, you like that, right? I’ll buy you some new appliances!”

“Cole, you cannot bribe me-”

“Hey guuuuys,” Kai larked, popping his head through the door and sliding over to Cole. Before he could even react, the master of fire was plucking the phone out of his hands. “I’ll take that, thanks.”

“Give it back!”

“It’s my phone!”

“I didn’t give you permission to take that video!”

Kai batted his eyes innocently. “What video?”

Cole lunged for him. “I will kill you, spike head-”

“Gotta catch me first,” Kai shrilled, neatly ducking his arm and dashing back belowdeck, laughing maniacally.

“Thanks a lot, Zane. Who knows what he’ll do with that now?”

“I don’t understand. What is going on?”

Cole sighed slowly. “He’s got… a video. I need it to be deleted.”

“What kind of video?”

“Seriously Zane? Can’t you take a hint? I obviously don’t want to tell you.”

Zane just stared at him expectantly.

Cole rubbed his face in his hands. I can’t believe I’m doing this. “He still has the video from… from Laughy’s. With the Sons of Garmadon.”

Zane is smiling now, crossing his arms. “I don’t know why you are embarrassed to tell me, Cole. I was there, remember? I saw you sing-”

“Okay, okay, Zane, I get it! Just stop talking about it!”

“I don’t see why talking about it would be an issue-”

Cole lunged forward, pressing a hand over his mouth. “You don’t understand,” he hissed under his breath. “They’re everywhere. They’re obsessed with that video, and they’ve been dangling it over my head ever since we returned from the First Realm. They’re trying to blackmail me!”

“They?”

“Oh yeah, it’s not just Kai- Jay’s in on it too, the jerk. You think you know who your best friend is.”

“Cole, I think you’re overreacting, what could they possibly do with it? Everyone here already saw you sing, it’s fine.”

“You really think Lloyd, Nya and Pix have spared a second thought to think about me after everything they had going on here? I was hoping they had forgotten about it by now, but if Jay and Kai have their way-”

“I’m not going to help you steal Kai’s phone, Cole. If you need me for anything actually important, let me know.”

“This is important,” Cole yelled after him, but Zane was already gone.

Fine, he huffed. If no one is going to help me, I’ll do it myself.

---

“Hey Cole? Kai and Lloyd want me to play Fist-to-Face 3 with them, will you take patrol duty for me tonight?”

“Yeah?” Cole reclined in the kitchen chair, stretching his arms behind his head. “And why would I do that?”

“Oh, I dunno… perhaps because you wouldn’t want a certain… video to accidentally leak…” Jay waggled his phone teasingly in the air.

Cole stood up sharply. “You wouldn’t.”

“I dunno… would I? I guess we’ll find out.”

“Fine, fine, I’m going, I’m going,” Cole grumbled. “Want anything while I’m out?” “We’re almost out of Doritos. And can you get the strawberry Fanta?”

“Are you a heathen? Who drinks the strawberry?”

“It’s not for you,” Jay snapped. “And for your information, it tastes very nice.”

“Whatever. You at least gonna pay me for this, bozo?”

Jay slapped a twenty into his hand. “This is all I got on me. Buy yourself a little somethin’ with the change.”

Cole mock bowed. “Whatever you say, master.”

“Ah, come on, I’m not cruel, come join us when you get back.” As Cole walked out the door, he called after him, “I’ll save you some Bagel Bites!”

Cole rolled his eyes. He didn’t know how he got into situations like this.

He was really starting to hate that stupid video.

---

By the end of the week, which had been filled with similar scenarios, Cole had had it. I’m not going to take this slander anymore! They can’t just push me around like this, I’m the master of earth!

The monastery was buzzing with the chatter of his friends on the hot afternoon. They were all wearing swimsuits, and Lloyd opened the door, leaning out lazily as a wave of hot air wafted into the cool monastery.

“Stop standing there with the door open, nitwit, you’re letting all the hot air in,” Kai snapped, shoving him out the door, nearly sending him to the floor, before Zane caught him by the wrist with his usual lightning reflexes.

“Kai, there is no need to get physical.”

“Can it, Zane, I’m just playing around, right bud?” Kai slung his arm around Lloyd’s shoulder, ruffling his hair.

Lloyd shot him a glare. “Get off of me, you lump, I’m melting here. Are we going swimming or not?”

“Ouch, looks like someone skipped his coffee today. What’s wrong, baby boy, did I hurt your feewings?”

“You wanna get punched? ‘Cause I will not hesitate to punch you.”

“You wanna throw hands with me, bro? I’d prefer not to have a squished pancake as a brother, but if you say so.”

“As soon as I cool down a bit, you are toast.”

“You cool it, mister. Are you forgetting everything amazing I’ve ever done for you?”

“Don’t mind him,” Nya called to Kai, coming over to elbow Lloyd from the other side. “He gets grumpy when he’s hot.”

“I hate you both.”

Zane sighed. “I swear, it’s like the heat is melting their brains.”

Nya shrugged. “They must have like, low heat tolerance or something. Don’t ask me why they always get so loopy like this.”

“Hey, it’s like 100 degrees, don’t blame me if I’m a little uncomfortable!” Lloyd snapped, his words slurring slightly.

“Yeah, bud, even I think you’re starting to get to be a little much now. Come on, let’s get you in the water.”

As the team shuffled out the door, Jay turned back to face him. “Hey, Cole, aren’t you coming swimming with us?”

“Yeah, I’ll be out in a minute, just give me a sec.”

Jay shrugged, and Cole waited for a moment, until he heard the door click.

Finally! I thought they’d never leave.

Hurrying down the hallway, he popped his head into the bathroom, where Kai and Jay had just thrown their clothes into a pile on the floor when they had changed. Getting on his knees, he dug through it and pulled out Jay’s shorts, extracting his cell from it. Pulling a slip of paper out from his pocket, he quickly typed the numbers in, and…

The phone unlocked.

Cole broke into a grin, praising Jay’s inability to remember passwords and always writing them down somewhere where a very desperate earth ninja could find them.

He opened the camera app and deleted the video.

There. Halfway done.

Kai’s phone wasn’t in his pocket, so he snuck over to his room and found it charging on the nightstand. Biting his lip, he pulled out his phone and glanced at the camera footage he had captured the previous night.

It showed a bird’s eye view of the living room, and Kai was sitting on the couch, watching TV. As he reached for his phone, Cole zoomed in on the device and watched carefully as he typed in the code.

Okay. Cole repeated the same code on Kai’s phone.

Incorrect Passcode.

Cole felt panic flare inside him. What were the chances that Kai had changed his password in the one night since he’d filmed this?

“It didn’t work because I have one of those fingerprint ones, too.”

Cole whips around to see Kai standing in the doorway, Jay hovering behind him. “Jay told me you were lingering, and I just got a feeling, y’know? That you were up to something.”

Cole huffed, tossing him the phone. “Why won’t you just delete it, Kai? This has gone on for long enough.”

“I like the video, Cole. It puts a smile on my face on the… hard days.”

“Oh, spare me the pity card. I know plenty well that you have more than enough other ways to keep yourself entertained.”

“What about Jay?” Kai grabbed the lightning ninja by the shoulders, shaking him gently. “Think of your friend, Cole. He has no sense of entertainment, he needs something to keep him going.”

“Excuse me-”

“Oh please,” Cole snorted. “Stick Jay on Youtube and he’ll be entertained for hours. He gets distracted way too easily.”

“Oh come on, Cole, this is way better than Jay’s stupid cat videos-”

“I do not watch cat videos!”

“Don’t lie to me, zaptrap, you’re lame.”

“Dude, who’s side are you on?”

“Look guys, I don’t have time for this. Just delete the video, and we can be done with this whole thing.”

“No, that’s not how this is going to work. You’re going to go outside with the others, and forget this whole thing ever happened. Otherwise, this little video might end up on the internet.”

“What?” Cole shrieked. “You can’t do that, dude, it’s an invasion of my privacy!”

“Last time I checked, this was a video of Rocky Dangerbuff, not you. Is it you in this video, Cole?”

Cole felt his face heat as he scowled at them, and Kai and Jay burst into laughter.

Kai slapped a hand on his back. “If it makes you feel any better, it wouldn’t have worked anyway. You really think we’re dumb enough to keep the only copies of the video on our phones? You’d be searching for hours to delete all traces of it.”

Cole balked at him. “Seriously? How many copies did you make?”

Jay grinned. “You forgot this wasn’t a solo operation, dirtclod. I’m the tech guy around here. There’s no way you’ll be able to override my programming.”

Cole groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I hate you guys.”

“Hey, that’s what friends are for, right?” Kai laughed. “C’mon, dude, it’s hot, let’s go swim.” Cole reluctantly followed them out the door, grumbling.

“This won’t go on forever, you guys. Sooner or later, I’m gonna find a way to stop you.”

Kai laughed. “We’ll see about that, Cole, we’ll see.”

---

“Are you sure this is really something I wanna be getting involved in?” The nindroid asked, her glowing green eyes scanning the monitor screen.

“It’ll be fine, Pix, I promise. They might be a little annoyed at first, but within a couple days, they’ll have completely moved on to something else to make fun of. All you have to do is get rid of one measly video for me.”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it that, exactly. Jay went pretty deep with this program. But I think I’ve located the source material.”

“And?” Cole asked, placing his hands on the table and leaning forward. “Does that mean you can delete all the data?”

“Yes. Every known record of it developed into the Bounty’s database will be erased.”

“Do it, quick!”

Pixal turned to the computer again, and Cole held his breath as her fingers flew over the keys for a moment. Then, she pulled back.

“Is it done? Did you do it?”

“Yes. It’s gone.”

“Oh, thank goodness,” Cole sighed, slouching against the wall. “I’m so glad that’s finally over. Pix, you’re a lifesaver.”

A small smile played on her lips. “I do what I can.”

“Well, you’ve just saved me a lot of trouble. I owe ya one.”

“We’ll see. Anyways, if we’re done here, I’m going to go help Zane work on those hull repairs to the Bounty.”

“Thanks, Pix.”

When he walked down to the kitchen for dinner that night, for the first time in weeks he didn’t feel a constant dread hanging over his head.

---

The relief didn’t last long.

It was only the evening of the next day when Kai came marching into his room, Jay on his heels. Cole glanced over at them nonchalantly from where he was laying across his bed, reading a Starfarer comic. “Can I help you?”

“You know what you did, stop acting so innocent.”

Cole grinned, stretching. “What can I say, bro, I outplayed you.”

“You could never,” Jay snorted. “You had help!”

“Hey, two against one was never a fair game. Let’s just say I was evening the odds a little bit.”

“Who helped you?” Kai hissed, pointing at him. “Spill, now!” “Sorry fellas, but I’ve sworn to secrecy. You’ll have to find your information elsewhere.”

“It has to be either Nya, Pixal, or Zane,” Jay insisted. “Nya’s the only one with the advanced enough technical skills to be able to override me, and Zane and Pixal are attached to the system, so they can get pretty much anything they want with enough computer skills.”

Kai rolled his eyes. “Great job, sparky, now we've eliminated it down to three out of the four possible suspects. What amazing deduction skills.”

“Hey, I don’t see you doing any better! And it’s actually three out of five. We know it’s not Master Wu, either.”

Both Kai and Cole raised an eyebrow at that.

“Jay, you’re joking. Master Wu. Helped Cole. Delete a blackmail video?”

Cole snorted. “Zaptrap, if Wu ever found out about what was going on, he’d give us a stern lecture, make us meditate for a few hours, then, probably like, stick us on patrol duty for the rest of the night or something.”

“Shut up! Look, it doesn’t matter, alright? If you just tell us who it is, we’ll leave you alone.”

“Fat chance.” Cole got up out of bed and strolled past them, towards the door. “You don’t have anything against me anymore. That blackmail’s not gonna work anymore.”

“Who told you that?”

Cole stopped, turning towards Kai slowly. “What?”

“Who told you we didn’t have access to the video anymore?”

Cole gaped, glancing back and forth between Kai and Jay. “What!? That’s impossible, she-” he bit his lip sharply, cursing himself. “I mean… we deleted all copies of the video. How could you still have it?”

“Aha!” Jay gasped, pointing at him. “Did you hear that? He said she! Which means we’ve narrowed it down to Pixal or Nya!”

Cole ignored him, narrowing his eyes at Kai. “You’re bluffing. You don’t have the video.”

“Oh yeah? Jay, you still have it?”

The blue ninja stuck a hand into his pocket, and, pulling it out, flashed a small blue object between his fingers. Cole looked closer, and felt his stomach drop as he recognized what it was- a flash drive.

“Yep, it’s all in here! Even the most advanced computer codes will do nothing to reach our backup. Looks like you’ve run out of luck again, Cole.”

“Are you kidding me? This is impossible!”

“Come on, Cole- all we want to do is have a little fun with it. Let us keep the video, and we’ll leave you alone.”

“And if I try to get rid of it again?”

“Oh, I dunno, maybe it could find its way… onto social media.”

Cole nearly choked. “Kai! You wouldn’t!”

“Keep your nose out of it, and I won’t! C’mon, Jay, we’re done here.”

Cole flopped back down onto his bed. Social media. Kai couldn’t put the video on the internet. It would be all over the city by morning.

He had said he wouldn’t do it if Cole stopped trying to get rid of the video, but Cole didn’t trust that one bit. Now that the idea was planted in his head, Cole was afraid he could do it at any time.

There was no question about it. He had to destroy that flash drive.

---

Kai and Jay were out on the last evening patrol.

This was the time.

Glancing down the hallway to make sure no one was there, he eased open the door to Kai’s room and slipped inside.

He was fairly certain they would’ve kept the flash drive in Kai’s room, specifically to throw him off after he had seen Jay holding it earlier. Also, Kai’s room, while still a mess, wasn’t as bad as Jay’s, so Cole much preferred to search his, anyways.

But it was still going to be more difficult than he had hoped, he realized with a groan as he glanced around the room.

Kai’s bed had a small stack of comic books and magazines strewn across it, with more on the nightstand and even a few on the floor. His laundry had been mostly shoved into a corner, but a few lone shirts and socks had been left randomly. Most of his stuff appeared to be in bins that had been stuffed under the bed and in the corners, but there appeared to be no order to what was in them, just a hag-tag of random junk, save for one crate in the corner which was full to the brim with various weapons, leaving several of them spilling out just asking for a sliced toe in the morning.

The worst was the dresser, though- there were several hair products lined up, even though Cole knew he already had more than enough in the bathroom, a handful of letters, only a couple of them opened, some more comics, a couple empty cups, and enough earrings and other jewelry to last him a lifetime. Cole never understood why he needed so many. Sure, Kai had a ton of piercings, more than the rest of them combined, but Cole swore he had never seen him even wear half of these. Kai had almost as much jewelry, (or, as he liked to call it, “bling”) as he did hair products, which was really saying something.

Sighing, Cole walked over to search through one of the bins that looked like it may have had the techy stuff in it- or at least, the somewhat mechanical stuff- maybe- or, actually, not really, he had absolutely no idea what kind of system Kai had going on here.

Reaching in, he pulled out a tablet, a flashlight, a spare video game controller, a baseball cap, a worn stuffed dragon, a barrette that he was pretty sure belonged to Skylor- Cole blushed at that one, shoving the box away. These things were Kai’s. There could likely be things in here he didn’t want Cole to see.

He wasn’t trying to snoop, though- all he wanted to do was find the flash drive, and leave.

Turning away, Cole began to sift through another bin. A sword- small and uneven, but fairly solid- this one wrapped away with much more care than the others- had a label scribbled on that read “Kai’s first sword.” A photograph, ripped down the middle, the remaining side with a very young Kai hugging an even younger Nya, and a ripped shawl stained with blood that had never come out-

Cole jumped back. Okay, so maybe there was some sort of order to these boxes. And that one was none of his business. He wasn’t sure he even wanted to look any further, anyway. He didn’t doubt that Kai and Nya had been reserved about their lives before meeting them for a reason.

Cole was beginning to feel guilt weight down on his chest already, cold and heavy. He shouldn’t have seen that. He shouldn’t have seen any of this. He was blatantly disrespecting one of his closest friend’s privacy just to delete some stupid video he was embarrassed about.

I should go.

As he sped towards the door, he tripped over something and fell to the ground with a thump. Turning back, he saw it was a book that he had set aside while pulling things out of the bin, having spilled open after he tripped on it, allowing him to see that it wasn’t a book at all, but a photo album.

It was open to a page where Cole had his arm slung around a very grumpy-looking Kai, ruffling his hair, with Jay and Lloyd bent over laughing in the background. It was followed by a bunch of pictures of Kai with the worst bed hair Cole had ever seen- desperately reaching towards the camera, presumably to strangle whoever was snapping photos. Occasionally, one of the other ninja would pop in, holding him back for the photographer, or posing goofily next to the groggy fire ninja.

Cole felt a grin spread over his face. He remembered that day, when Kai had stayed up so late playing video games that he had forgotten about his hair in the morning- and the whole team had been more than eager to take advantage of the one time the fire ninja wasn’t looking so attractive. Kai had threatened to murder them in their sleep, but he had been laughing through it all, too.

That’s the same thing happening here, Cole realized. I’m being a baby about this. They’re just playing around with me. Like I haven’t done the same to them a thousand times.

Cole neatly closed the book and slid it back into a bin, leaving the room with his heart feeling significantly lighter.

It hadn’t been a moment too soon, either, as when he was walking down the hallway, he passed Kai and Jay returning from patrol.

“Everything okay, Cole?” “I’m fine,” he said quickly, too quickly. Luckily, Jay didn’t seem to notice. Kai raised his eyebrow slightly but didn’t press the issue. “Whatcha’ up to?”

“Just heading to bed.”

“Sweet dreams, little glow worm.”

Jay burst into snickers, and Kai grinned wickedly. Cole put his face in his hands, and brushed past them. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t quite as over this as he thought.

---

The next morning, he was awoken by a knock on his bedroom door. Pulling on a tank top, he opened the door to find Zane standing there.

“What’s up?”

The nindroid had an apologetic look on his face, holding up his cell phone. “Have you checked social media yet?”

“No, why?”

“Kai posted your karaoke video.”

“He what?!” Cole shrieked, ripping the phone out of his hand. There, right under Kai’s grinning profile picture, was the video of him singing at Laughy’s.

“That dumbass,” Cole cried, flopping back onto his bed. “Do you know how bad this is? And it’s not just any old social media account, it’s Kai’s. The guy has like, seven million followers on Ninjagram, and almost as many on Chirp and ChatSnap. This will ruin me.”

“I’m sorry, Cole. I didn’t think he would do this.”

“I didn’t either. He promised he wouldn’t, as long as I didn’t try to delete the data!”

“...Didn’t you, though?”

Cole glowered at him. “Well, maybe, technically, I did, but he didn’t catch me! How would he know?”

“Cole, what kind of ninja headquarters would this be if we didn’t have security cameras?”

“Shit! Why would he be checking that? Oh, I’m never going to forgive him for this.”

“Cole, forgive me, but I think you’re overreacting a little. Sure, it’ll probably get a few laughs, but in a couple hours, everyone will have moved onto the next thing. You’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that! I’m not just like some random cat video, I’m a famous ninja! Pretty much everyone knows about me, they’re going to linger on this for a while, trust me.”

“Cole,” Zane said patiently, amusement sparkling in his voice. “I think you’ll survive. Come have some breakfast, that always makes you feel a little better.”

Cole opened his mouth to argue, but Zane was already walking out of the room, so Cole reluctantly followed.

Cole sat down at the table, glaring down into his lap, as Zane slipped him a plate of waffles. He couldn’t even make it all the way through his meal before Kai and Jay inevitably showed up.

“Hey Cole,” Kai smiled, “wonderful morning, isn’t it?”

“You shut your dumb mouth,” Cole snapped. “I don’t even want to look at you.”

“Woah, someone’s feisty.”

“I saw what you did! I can’t believe you did that.”

“I can’t believe you went through my stuff,” Kai barked back, and, despite himself, Cole felt himself flinch. “I was just upholding my side of the agreement.”

“Hey, Cole,” Jay interjected. “Look on the bright side. You’re practically famous! The video already has five million views!”

“I’m already famous, you moron, which, in this situation, makes it even worse.”

Jay blinked, obviously not expecting the hostility of his response. “Cole, chill, it’s just a-”

“Hey guys!” Cole looked up to see Lloyd, Nya, and Pixal walking in. Lloyd grinned as he caught sight of Cole’s plate. “Aww, Zane, you made waffles? Did you buy-”

“Yes, Lloyd, there is plenty of whip cream.”

“I’m just checking! It wouldn’t be the first time I was a few minutes late and some hogs ate all the whip cream.” He shot a glare at Jay, who shrugged nonchalantly.

“Ya snooze, ya lose, green machine. It’s not my fault you have no sense of timing.”

“I have plenty of sense of timing! I’m just…”

“Easily distracted,” Nya chimed in.

“Am not! You were just as distracted as I was!” “You’re the one who showed it to me just as we were trying to go to breakfast!” “Well, you didn’t have to watch it, you could’ve just walked away!”

“How could I not? That one’s a keeper-”

“What are you two on about?” Kai laughed.

“There’s this video blowing up on the internet-” Pixal began.

“You have got to be kidding me,” Cole groaned. He glared at Kai. “Now look what you’ve done. You’ve gotten them-” he pointed an accusatory finger at Lloyd and Nya- “laughing at it too.”

“More like them and the rest of Ninjago-”

“Seriously? I can’t with you,” Cole fumed, then promptly spun around and stormed off to his bedroom, locking the door. He flopped onto his bed face first and yelled into his pillow.

He had wanted to laugh this whole thing off. He really had. But how was he expected to be chill when it was all over the internet?

Part of him was just angry with himself, though. Why did he let this rile him up so much? Why was he so upset? Zane was right, it was just another random video, wasn’t it?

Why was it the end of the world if people saw him sing?

---

“Back straighter, Cole.”

Cole flinched at the hit before it came, and the man rolled his eyes. “How do you expect to ever perform well if you can’t even have good posture?”

“I’m trying dad, but I’m tired. We’ve been doing this for hours. Can I go have lunch now?”

“It’s not time for that yet, Cole. First, we need to work on this piece more. Now, start again, from measure twenty-one.

He shuffled through the pages of music, and as he began to sing, all he could imagine was that stern face peering down at him, and all of a sudden his voice was coming out wobbly.

“Tone shape, Cole! You need to keep a consistent tone. Don’t let it sound wavery and messy.”

Cole’s stomach growled loudly, and he flinched at the look on his father’s face. “Please, dad, I’ll be able to concentrate more if I’ve eaten.”

“Fifteen minutes,” his father snapped. “Then right back to work.”

Cole remembered running to the kitchen, worried there wouldn’t be enough time, and eating as much food as he could manage. But it had been too much, his father would be angry with him, what was he going to do-

He had thrown most of it up in the bathroom later that night.

“Cole, you need to try harder. Singing and dancing of just “average” quality aren’t going to cut it when you become part of the next generation of the Royal Blacksmiths.”

“But dad, I don’t want to be a Royal Blacksmith. I don’t even like to sing.”

“Nonsense! This is a family legacy, boy! Do you wish to break such noble tradition just because you weren’t willing to work hard enough?”

“...No, dad.”

“That’s what I thought. Now, back to work.”

---

A knock. “Hey, Cole, can I come in?”

Cole pulled his face out of the pillow, frantic to find it wet. He quickly wiped at his eyes before getting to his feet and trodding to the door, unlocking it and opening it slowly. Kai stood there.

Great.

“What do you want?”

To his surprise, the red ninja flinched. “Can we talk?”

Cole turned and laid across his bed. “What’s there to talk about?”

Kai took a seat on the edge of the bed, keeping his distance from Cole. “Are you… are you actually angry about this? Like, for real? I thought we were joking around.”

Cole didn’t answer, merely grunting into his pillow.

Kai hesitantly scooted a little closer. “I’m sorry. I would’ve stopped if I knew it was making you so uncomfortable. I really wish you had said something about it.”

Cole shrugged. “Well, I didn’t.”

“I’ll take it down, if you want.”

“What?”

“Like, I know it’s too late now,” he said hurriedly, “and that a bunch of people have already seen it, that I’m not fixing my mistake by doing this, but- I can take the video offline now, so at least no one else sees it.”

Cole was about to thank him, when a sudden urge flowed over him. “Y’know what,” he said, sitting up, “No.”

“Huh?” “Don’t bother,” Cole told him. “It’s no big deal. It’s just some stupid video.”

“I thought you were upset.”

“I was. And still am, a little, if I’m being honest. But I’m tired of spending so much time worrying about what others think of me. It’s exhausting, and no fun. It’s time I started thinking about how I view myself.”

“Are you sure? Because I know you hate singing-”

“I don’t, though. I used to like it.”

“What happened?”

Cole shrugged halfheartedly. “Let’s just say… my dad didn’t make the right decisions. Pushed me too hard to be something I wasn’t. Kind of hard to enjoy singing with him barking over my shoulder about it every spare second. Basically sucked all the joy out of it.”

Kai swung his feet back and forth. “That sounds rough. I wonder if my dad would’ve been anything like that, if he… if he’d stayed.”

“You were forced, in a way, too. Forced to grow up too quickly, to raise your sister on your own.”

“Yeah, I guess I was.” He shot him a small grin, although Cole could tell it was forced. “We’re alike in that way.”

“I wish we weren't,” Cole sighed. “No one deserves to go through that.”

Kai laughed dryly. “I learned a long time ago that life’s never been fair.”

“Have you talked to your dad at all, recently?”

“...Not really. I mean, apart from letting him know we were alive and stuff… after the First Realm.”

“Maybe you should reach out to him. Before it’s too late.”

“I know, I know… but I’m not really sure if I want to. I don’t know if that makes me sound like an awful person, but… he was never there for me. They were never there. I know it wasn’t their fault, but… it still stings. Those years, before I came here, were some of the hardest of my life. And I was just a kid! How was I… how was I supposed to…”

“It’s okay,” Cole put an arm around his shoulder and pulled him close. “I’m not sure if I want to forgive my father, either.”

“I wouldn’t blame you. What kind of person treats their kid like that? Judges them so harshly? Oh gosh, why didn’t you say something, Cole, I’m really sorry about that video.”

“I told you, it’s fine. You guys aren’t my father. I know you won’t judge me for my quirks. And, if you want to laugh at me, if the people of Ninjago want to laugh at me, that’s fine. So I’m weird. So I sing stupid songs about glow worms and sing out of key and put on really, really bad disguises. You can tease me all you want, but really, you love me for it, and I’m done doubting that. That’s what true family does.”

Kai smiled sadly at him. “I’m sorry that you didn’t find that out sooner, Cole. You’re an amazing person, and you deserve a family who will treat you like one.”

Cole smiled, slinging an arm around his shoulder. “I already have one.”

[pokedash55]

Ninjobservation #2

Analyzing the Elemental Alliance as a group and uncovering the real reason the Time twins (Twims for short) were "traitors"

So I have rewatched Hands of Time for the 3rd time this past year and Me and my sister Purplefern (She has a ton of good Twims fics on Ao3 ^^) have learned a lot about the old elemental alliance (EA).

THE CLAIM

The EA were a strong clique that did not appreciate the Twim's general attitudes and personalities. Chen saw the growing discourse and manipulated both sides into turning on each other.

[[They be judgin' (””art”” by me) ]]

To start let’s look at all the Leaders of this Alliance

Wu

Wu back before his eventual growth with the ninja was a strict teacher. Morro ran away due to his inability to understand his problems (problems he may have caused with his teachings). He is generally harsh towards the Ninja in season 1, forcing them to train all day because they simply talked during his lesson ("Never trust a snake").

Due to being the son of the FSM he put pressure on himself to always be virtuous and leaderlike (believes he has to uphold order) and he takes this believed expectation of authority to heart. He is no nonsense, yelling at Libber (the Master of Lightning) for simply talking slightly off topic before an important battle. He has a strong sense of right and wrong, according to his own moral standards and does not waver on what he believes is in/appropriate.

Garmadon

Although less righteous than Wu, joining the alliance after the war began, he has also been seen as a strict and serious teacher. Because of the growing venom in his blood I'd argue he was even more strict, less in attitude but more in general rules of law and order. We see in Rebooted that Garmadon set strict rules for himself like "no weapons" to keep his destructive side in check and we know that Young Garmadon is so sensitive to rules as he claims that even reading another's mail is a crime. He joined as a leader and most likely upheld rules not just for the alliance but for his own sake.

Ray and Maya

We see little of them but they are both good friends- and Ray appears to be the right hand man-- of Wu They are such good friends that Ray is the one trusted with the Map to the Golden Weapons. From his tone and diction he seems very dogmatic and if he's anything like Kai, he's quick to assumptions and to attack people who he perceives as bad according to his own strict principles. He just feels like a stuffy guy. I don't have much on Maya but she's a good people person so she gets along with the others really well. Also she married Ray, so that has to say something. They both went along with the Time Blade plan.

Other Elemental observations

 Except for Libber (Lighting), all the Masters are older than the Time twins. (Krux can fight in S7 so he's not older than 70. They are most likely mid to late twenty's during the war)

 The EA is a pre-established group (Garmadon refers to them like they are a pre-existing entity in ToE flashbacks). They were two confident and arrogent twenty year olds strolling into a pre-established clique of old honorable fighters during a war. Not the best time for bonding.

 Ice feels very much like Wu and Garmadon, considering he gave his powers to an analytical robot like Zane is saying a lot about him. He most likely does not tolerate "shenanigans", especially during a war.

They battle in a tight group

Krux and Acronix

These two act like they don't belong in the group. During the party celebrating the end of the war they are seen standing away from the rest and are genuinely happy to be recognized by Wu for their efforts. Although retcon, the two are not seen battling with the rest of the group. They instead most likely are so powerful (and impulsive and difficult to work with) that they are sent on duo missions to protect villages (They are also not the best followers).

It's also a nice parallel to our ninja in ToE. They stuck together like a family and were disliked and excluded from the rest of the EM's. The same could be said for The Twims since they always fought together and were similarly excluded.

Krux

Krux is a planner and a sassy dude. He’s stubborn and will tell people they are wrong to their face. The 16 personalities that matches him best is INTJ (the Architect). This analytical type hates people who are who they consider idiotic, do not participate in formalities, and are aggravated by heavy rules and restrictions made by someone else, especially someone they do not respect (which is most people).

Although we do not see him much as a young man we know that he is prone to grudges and will resort to less kind methods in sake for the means to an end. Definitely not someone Wu and Garmadon would like since they are trying to uphold order and keep a chain of command. But Krux believes in his own plans and his own chain of command. He is not good at small talk and would mostly stick with his brother during group events like meetings and parties, so in general his terrible social skills probably made him pretty unliked.

Acronix

Acronix is quick witted and heavily proud of himself. He won’t admit he is wrong and is very loud in general. This may be a side tangent but Acronix may have ADHD, which would not be understood back in the day and people would regard him as annoying or rude.

EVIDENCE FOR ADHD

-He is shown to stand in a position that suggests hand fidgeting (A LOT)

-Quick to anger over minuscule details

-yeah he's distractible but he's also quick to move through ideas/activities

-impulsive

- During their important battle back in time his attention is on the pretty fusion dragon flying around instead of listening to Kruxs plan of attack.

-His attention shifts to the destiny's bounty and he toys with the ninja despite saying right before he couldn't stay and fight Wu cause he had to meet up with Krux.

- in general he is constantly shifting from idea to idea, oftentimes leaving his original plans completely un-finished

He could have trouble paying attention to meetings and with his bond with Krux and tendency to quick action he would choose his brother's plan and strike independently rather than following whatever Wu is doing. This leads them to fight beside each other alone instead of with the main group, making the elemental alliance think they believe to be better than them. 

In terms of Personality types he’s a hardcore ESTP (Entrepreneur). Like his brother, they are free analytical thinkers who do not respect higher authority simply because they claim to be the leaders and hate rules and regulations getting in the way of their progress. He says what's on his minds regardless of feelings and will defend his opinions despite others sensitivities. He is perceptive enough to pick up on small changes and habits but he is quick to share that knowledge (usually in a snarky remark). I doubt the alliance appreciates what he has to say when he’s blabbering about everything in such a rude tone.

MOE

Now this all may start to look like a silly “Hands of time did nothing wrong” theory. But there is a key factor in this that not many people talk about. The previous Master of Earth (or Moe for short).

We know that Chen manipulated Moe into turning against the alliance so it was not technically his fault. Chen could’ve said that because the serpentine rose from the earth he was entitled to fight for them. Heck he could’ve been 100% hypnotized by Clouse’s dark magic (His eyes were not swirly so it was not hypnobrai like is suggested in WOTD). He is most likely some lovable dummy who was easily swayed and a kind person to apologize once the truth about Chen is revealed (considering that he’s Cole’s grandfather). Moe as a person is fine. What is sketchy is Moe being easily forgiven and allowed into the alliance despite turning on all of HUMANITY. What he did could’ve hurt way more people. He fought with the snakes and attacked innocent people and powerless soldiers (like the rice farmers) and was off scott free! The Twims only fought the elemental alliance and Wu and Garmadon at the monastery. Not nearly as destructive.

They figured out that Chen made the alliance turn on each other after the war and forgave Moe for that, but isn't it strange that they never gave the Time Twins that same benefit of the doubt? We know from “Way of the departed” and general logic that Chen and Clouse helped tip them over the edge. Whether you believe this to be canon or not is irrelevant because if the EA knew that Chen was involved once why would they not assume he was with the time twins too? Seems like they already disliked the two and were just ready for a reason to punish them. All flashbacks we get are told from unreliable sources like Wu and Ray (who both were enthusiastically the ones planning to strip them of their powers.) Speaking of, let’s analyze this example of their “betrayal” shall we?

THE BATTLE IN QUESTION

This is the flashback we get of them fighting against the alliance. The first time you watch it all you really know is that they are fighting against the EA, when Wu is describing their arrogance and the danger of their powers. How evil right? To attack their companions like that? But there is a lot wrong with how Wu phrases the fight and how it actually goes down.

They have Bamboo staffs.

A weapon that is primarily defensive and not a good weapon of choice for a planned ambush or assault. They are non lethal weapons. And Acronix is said on LEGO.com to be quick to learn any weapon so someone as adaptable as he is would not intentionally bring something so weak to a fight unless he had been forced to improvise.

Always on the defensive.

Someone as tactical as Krux and skilled as Acronix would never let themselves be on the defensive like this if they had the first blow. We see that Ray has the first attack in the flashback. Although Acronix is known to jump in without thinking he has his brother who would not just go into a fight just to lose. And even if they did end up on the defensive after having the first strike Acronix has his powers. He would’ve brought both of them out of a situation if things got too hard (which he is known to do in battles HE starts). But they clearly did not start this battle.

They are surrounded.

These two guys with nothing but staffs are encircled? Krux as a planner and Acronix as a quick witted warrior would never let themsleves get into that position if it had been a battle that they had started and had been planning to win. This framing makes it feel like they are being ganged up on.

In a remote location.

The battle takes place on a gravel road no where near a major city. If they wanted to take over wouldn’t they strike somewhere more populated? And if they were attacking the EA...they would have attacked the EA directly. They were probably just walking and talking and got ambushed.

Chen?

Very possible that Chen sent an “anonymous” note to the EA telling them of the Twims plans to attack. They are arrogant, have openly hated Wu’s leadership, and don’t gel with the group so of course they would take a tip like that and attack someone they don’t like. It’s possible they had ideas of taking over the EA but the world seems a bit out of their morality range until provoked.

Now that they have been attacked the two form a real plan to overthrow these fools who don’t like them and have unfairly attacked them (just like Chen had been telling them they were likely to do). They bring real weapons (swords) to an important location (the Monastery) to fight the specific people they do not like (Wu and Garmadon).

The Punishment

Ok so these powerful elemental masters are going to attack the EA. They were once allies and they are too powerful to defeat with their powers. If only there was a way to temporarily suspend their powers so they could talk this out and have an understanding of each other and perhaps uncover Master Chen's involvement-- since the Hands of Time were semi-sensible war heroes who were the sons of a previous master of time who presumably responsibly used the element without issue (and was most likely a samurai since Krux says their helmets are samurai helmets)... sigh too bad there is not such a material… oh wait.

WHAT ABOUT VENGESTONE???

These fools really decided that destroying an important element forever, and violently ripping it out of its users was the only option? There were generations of time elementals before them that had the element. They could throw vengestone nets at them or fight until they get knocked out and then vengestone cage them. But they don’t want to know why they betrayed the alliance. It was not because the element was too dangerous. It was not because they had to strip them of their powers (cause there are less lethal ways of doing so). They just did not give these two any mercy.

CONCLUSION

The Time twins are hard to work with and stuck together no matter what. The alliance is very strict and dogmatic which both Krux and Acronix would hate being trapped in their day to day alliance meetings and group mentality. Chen used their egos and their exclusion to his benefit to keep the fight going after he was banished and sent a letter to start up conflict with the EA. The EA did not like the Twims so they were ruthless and did not give them the same mercy they did for Moe (They also are not Elements of Creation. Wu would do anything to protect the main 4 but he’ll punish these punks). 

[falconfriend]

Central character: Zane

A/N: Pixal isn’t here? Yet, and ideally she’s coming in on part 2. I goofed on the transition originally because I had some canon facts about her timeline wrong, so I’ll be editing that soon. People who’ve followed me since I was more active will know I love Pixal very much; let’s write some fic involving you soon, my girl. (It’s been a while since I published fic at all.)

There’s a part 2 coming.

Warnings: Major (robot) injury, death references, some existential themes going on, minor burns.

--------------------

The hard surface of Nya’s workbench rattles into Zane’s skin, rattles because he’s shaking—

“Zane!” Nya startles, bustling over to him. She puts a hand on his arm as if to pull him back onto his back, but snatches it away, shaking it out at her side immediately. “That’s good. Keep pulling in those deep breaths, Zane, you’re overheating. Oh…”

Nya’s voice holds a sense of command that she’s put there, deliberately, for Zane to latch onto, but also a little for herself. She stares at him for a little longer, hands hovering in the air between them as if looking for some way to help him, before she turns back to her screens, eyes scanning rapidly over line after line. This is the part where she can help him.

She presses a call button, and a much calmer version of her voice rings through the Bounty: “We could use a bit of a hand down here, asap.”

“Nya,” Zane gasps.

Nya winces. Oh, she doesn’t know how to do this part… 

She has grown close with all of the ninja, they’re her family, but aside from trading quips, she and Zane have always… struggled to connect. Kai’s the one who’s good with other people’s emotions. Nya’s just good at calling Kai on his own feelings, and building things, and pulling off logistical feats—

Zane had rolled onto his side when he woke up, and now he’s facing away from her. She walks around the table to him and crouches in front of him. She can’t use a metal workbench with Zane, the electronics need an insulator (though sometimes she runs a cable to ground in case of emergency), but if he stays like this much longer he’ll burn parts of this one dark brown.

“Hi, Zane,” Nya begins, at the same moment that a voice saves her from the doorway with, “Hey, Frosty.” 

Nya could melt in relief. She stands to welcome Cole in, remarking, conversationally, “Not so frosty right now, watch out—”

(This conversational tone is a performance for Zane’s sake, too, like the way some grown-ups can be about tragedies and disasters when a child is in the room.)

And Cole has already rested a hand on Zane’s back. Nya winces, knowing how high the metal has heated, and Cole winces too, pulling his hand an inch back and sucking in a quick hiss through his teeth. He recovers quickly. “Okay, big guy, okay. You’re safe. Eeeeeeasy, Frosty. You’re safe. We’ve got you.”

Nya watches from a step behind him, slightly flummoxed, amazed she once thought they were similar people. It’s more of this as she turns back to her workstation to try to figure out what had even happened, Cole’s voice droning on over her shoulder.

“That’s right, Astroboy. Let’s slow it down—Nya, should he be breathing like this?” And then Cole’s voice turns severe, softer: “We will always come for you, Zane. You hear me? We’re always coming for you.”

“Slower is better,” Nya confirms, as Kai and Jay come into the doorway. Her voice has gone softer, now, too. “He is overheating, so I thought that was his fans working on overdrive, but he’s having a panic attack.”

“How can we help?” Lloyd has joined our doorway crew, now, too. It seems less kind to linger in the hall, but the room is so cramped already, and Zane probably needs air.

Nya considers Jay, who looks, though he’s trying not to, like he’s chomping at the bit to ask to double-check her wiring work. She would ask him to if she thought it wouldn’t freak Zane out right now—he tolerates being prodded at like it’s nothing, but it can’t actually be nothing. The part of her that’s learning to be wrong really wants to ask him to anyway.

She checks herself, four times, for overconfidence. Better to stress Zane out and get a second opinion to keep his physical body safe if she has to. But her readings show a clear signal coming from Zane’s CPU and everything else on her screen says there’s nothing wrong.

“Just be a friend right now, I think.”

Zane came into her workshop today totally trashed. She didn’t feel the need to document and explain every one of them to him this time, he’s grown a lot less attached to the original hardware since he rebuilt himself, but she had to put in a lot of new wiring. Welding work. Multiple circuit boards scorched, and half a motherboard she’d assigned Jay to replicate—he keeps spares. 

Jay had found him on the ground torn open.

He must have held off a massive crowd at once. Thirty, fifty. He’d kept fighting long after he should have been on his knees, and most tellingly, he hadn’t let any of them get behind him—the damage is on his front.

Cole has shifted to rub Zane’s back again, now that the temperature’s dropped enough for it to be thinkable, but there’s still a little grimace on his face. 

Kai steps in once he notices that it’s burning him, offering— “Here, I can—”

“I got it.”

And the room settles into this tense sort of quiet.

Cole knows he was a little too sharp.

“I was just letting Zane know we’re always coming for him, and that he’s safe right here on the Bounty. We’re hundreds of miles away from the battle, isn’t that right? Kai, you’ve been manning the bridge.”

“Autopilot right now,” Kai clarifies, “before you worry, Zane. Cole’s right, we’re hundreds of miles away.”

“And what Cole said! We are, uh.” Jay fumbles, because it’s not sounding as good out loud now that he’s saying it. “Always coming for you.”

The stillness really wasn’t fixed by this.

Kai shifts uncomfortably on his feet. 

“No, you know what, that’s not what it’s going to be,” Kai asserts, already decided. “We’re not going to need to keep coming for you, because it’s not going to happen like this. Isn’t that right, Lloyd.”

Lloyd perks up, grateful for something to do. Cole’s eyes are still trained on Zane’s face, Jay watching anxiously over his shoulder, everyone else’s eyes on Lloyd. Nya’s paused in her work to listen.

“That is right.” He decides, then and there. “Zane, if you are in any situation where one of us would retreat or we would die, I want you to retreat. It’s the same standard for everyone. Not any more of this.”

“Retreat wasn’t an option.” Zane croaks out. It’s the second thing he’s said all night. His voice, for all it’s just been through, is surprisingly calm. Cole very gingerly jostles his shoulder, the same way he would ruffle someone’s hair.

“...Okay. I believe that.” Lloyd sounds a little chagrined, voice pulling away from its leader-y command. “I’m sorry it happened that way. We’ll keep a better eye out, alright? No, I’ll keep a better eye out. No one’s running off and getting surrounded anymore—that goes for all of you.”

There are a few very quick murmurs of assent, a quiet aye-aye Lloyd from Nya.

Kai sits on the workbench by Zane’s feet. He reaches as if to touch him, to be here with him somehow, but he’s unsure how to and Zane has already brought his breathing back down. Cole is keeping his hand draped behind the other’s back where Zane can’t see it. Kai notes that the palm’s a little burned.

Zane rolls onto his back, and Cole and Kai move out of the way.

He turns his eyes up toward Nya, who stills, pausing her fidgeting. “Nya, what are my diagnostics.”

Nya rattles them off, one by one, clear and moderately-paced. “You can’t access those yourself, or you just wanted to hear a voice?”

“I wanted a voice.” It’s easier, too, not to need to think for them. If anything is wrong, anything permanently damaged or even just hurting for an extra night, he’d rather not look at it directly.

“Okay, anytime.”

-

It’s well past dark when Kai finally moves toward bed later that night, speeding through the hall with the kind of quiet you use when you’re the only one left awake.

“Retreat was not an option.”

Kai halts. That came from Zane, fully alert—when he walks back to peer through Nya’s door, he half expects Zane to have sat up to face him, but he hasn’t, of course, he’s still curled on his side. He still catches Kai’s eye from the door, all the same, and Kai’s step quickens without waiting for him to ask it to as he steps inside.

“Oh, Zane, are you still-? Lloyd isn’t mad at you, he wasn’t saying-“

“No. Retreat wasn’t an option.” Kai has by now reached his side, and takes Zane’s hand where Zane lies on the workbench. He debates hopping up to sit on its edge, but by the time he’s finished thinking it, there’s already been too much quiet, and he can tell with an uncomfortable internal squirm that Zane is as empathetic to his predicament as he is to Zane’s. He opens his mouth to do something about it, just before Zane shakes his head and cuts in faster, like he’s racing him to break the silence on purpose. “I was built to-“ his voice chokes.

Kai’s eyes lock on Zane’s, and he takes a slow, comprehending kind of breath. He grips Zane’s hand, Zane grips it tighter back.

“...To protect those who cannot protect themselves,” Kai’s mouth helpfully, carefully supplies; he says it like he’s not sure Zane wants it said.

There’s a little moment, somewhere in the space they share right then, when Kai grows something unreadable on his face. A hint of the Kai from years ago who might have snapped on this, who might have given the problem an immediate villain and a villain he wants to punch. He has grown either the maturity or the embarrassment to bite the anger back, and Zane is selfishly grateful for either.

Zane pulls their hands closer to his face, affirmative hum interrupted by a full-body hitch. This part has never been hard. They’re brothers. Zane squeezes his hand, and Kai squeezes it back.

“We can protect ourselves. Zane. We can. Do you believe that?”

Zane shakes his head, not that he doesn’t believe, but that: “Retreat wasn’t-“

“Okay.” Kai cuts him off before he can explain himself into the ground. “You’re gonna be okay. We’re gonna make sure you’re safe, Zane.”

-

“Sorry I’m late, Kai.” Lloyd’s entry, arriving at the door with posture that says ‘casual’ and through the door with posture that says ‘leader,’ turns the half-baked gathering into a Meeting. “You wanted everyone on the bridge?”

“I actually wanted everyone down in Nya’s workshop, but I thought we should get there all at once. We need to talk about this.” 

Lloyd nods in acknowledgement; we all know what ‘this’ is. “You asked Zane?”

“I suggested it, but no, actually, Zane asked me.”

Lloyd nods again, once up and down, and once over his shoulder at the door. Jay, craning his neck up from the back of the room, gives him a smile, Lloyd takes that smile and gives it to the room. His expression goes serious once more, with his head on straight. “Alright, everyone, Zane called a meeting. Did he say right now?”

“Sooner is probably better.”

“Let’s head down.“

[writeyouin]

The Crooked Man X Reader - Purpose (COMMISSION)

A/N – Thank you for yet another commission from @petitelepus​. I hope this is to your liking.

Warnings – Minor thoughts of suicide. Minor harassment.

Rating – T

Commission Request: A female Reader Fable who is loyal to the Crooked Man down to the bone! She knows what he is doing is wrong but he also gave her life a meaning.

Word Count - 1827

You clung tightly to your purse which was the only thing you had left in the world; all it contained now was one lonely five-dollar bill and a pocket-sized painting of your cottage in the homelands. You had never been one of the main fables that the Mundy’s talked about, only one of many scullery maids in Prince Charming’s palace; nobody of great importance.

Ever since you had come to the Mundy realm, it had been one problem after another, going week to week trying to scrape enough money together just to survive. Now, with no money and no job prospects from either Fabletown or the surrounding Mundy area, you were forced to go to the Business Office for help. If Old King Cole was still around, you doubted it would be a problem; he was a merry old soul after all. However, the person you had to convince was Ichabod Crane, and you had heard that he didn’t have much in the way of generosity. Although it was late and you were the last person awaiting a meeting with Mr Crane, you hoped it wouldn’t affect his judgement, and that he might be moved to help you.

Finally, Crane himself opened the door but it wasn’t to see you, it was to kick both Snow White and Bufkin out.

“TAKE THAT WRETCHED CREATURE AND KEEP IT AWAY FROM THE BUSINESS OFFICE MISS SNOW! I WILL NOT TOLERATE ANY MORE OF ITS DISRUPTIVE BEHAVIOUR.”

Snow looked like she was about to argue, but had evidently had enough that day, “Come on Bufkin, let’s leave the Deputy Mayor alone; it’s closing time anyway.”

“Yes, Miss White,” Bufkin agreed, not caring that Crane had kicked him out. The advantage of being a flying monkey was that he could always get back into the Business Office from the outside window whenever he wanted to, and now he could mooch a drink off someone before returning.

“AND YOU-” Crane pointed an accusing finger at you, seeming to lose some of his bluster afterwards, “Make it quick.”

“Yes, Sir,” You squeaked, stepping into the office and closing the door behind you.

Crane walked to his desk, closely followed by you as you explained your plight. At the sound of your desperation, he started paying closer attention.

“So you need money,” Crane concluded.

“Yes, Sir, but a loan would be fine, I’ll pay it back as soon as I find work.”

“That’s redundant. If you are unable to find work, then I’ll have wasted an investment. It would be better if I simply gave you a job myself.”

“That’d be wonderful, Sir. I used to be a scullery maid so I can clean and-”

Crane waved your explanations away, “I am not in need of a maid. I have another job in mind for you.”

“Anything, Mr Crane. I’ll do anything.”

Crane closed the gap between the two of you, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear in a way that only made you feel vulnerable and afraid. “That’s what I like to hear.”

You tensed up, clenching your teeth, the hairs on the back of your neck standing up as Crane trailed his hand down your arm. Under his touch, you froze, feeling cheap and abused.

“I happen to need someone for various roleplays,” Crane told you. “And since you’re willing to do anything-”

Coming to your senses, you pushed Crane away from you, running out of the office as fast as you could with tears in your eyes; Crane’s screamed insults following you out of the room.

In the dark of the night, you kept running, not daring to stop lest your shame catch up to you. Without Crane’s money, you had nothing, not even enough to rent somewhere cheap for the night. Once you got to the park, you finally stopped running, walking along the bridge so you could look down at the glassy water that reflected you and your many failings.

Catching your breath, silent tears slid down your cheeks. What was the point of living in a world crushed in the fist of capitalism? With all that you had in the tiny handbag, you may as well resign yourself to starving to death, if the cold didn’t take you first. It would probably be better if you drowned yourself now. Unlike Mundy lakes, the one in Fabletown was deceptively deep, and would serve as a half-decent final resting place. Mechanically, you inched your leg over the side of the little wooden bridge, so you were straddling the handrail.

“Begging your pardon Miss, but I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” a cockney voice said from behind you.

You turned to find Tiny Tim watching you sympathetically.

“Tim,” You breathed, recognising him instantly; it was hard not to when he was such a major character.

“Aye, thanks for leaving off the tiny. I hate it when people say that. You wanna come with me? I have someone interested in employing you.”

You looked towards the glassy water once again, fear now clutching your heart as you scrambled to get away from it, back onto the safe side of the bridge. Tiny Tim put an arm around you to steady you. “Do you want my coat, Miss? You’re freezing.”

You nodded jerkily, stuck with the thought that you had been close to throwing your life away. Tiny Tim removed his coat, wrapping it around your shoulders. “Alright then, you coming? I’m s’posed to take you to the boss.”

“Who is it?”

“Ah…Best he explains it, he’s had a bit o’ bad press lately, so his name does no good.”

You started thinking of all the villains you knew of. Bluebeard, the Tweedles, the Jersey Devil; you couldn’t picture Tiny Tim working for any of them.

“I promise he’s good. He gives people like you and me jobs. Who else’d hire me as a bodyguard?”

“…Alright, I’ll join you.”

With an amiable smile, Tiny Tim led you towards an out of place door on the bark of a tree, deep within the park. From the door, he led you down a rich hallway till you were in front of two solid-oak doors.

When he opened them, you found a man like no other. He was an older gentleman with a sagging left eye, as if he’d had a stroke. His nose looked like it had been broken more than once, and he held a cane, to keep up straight.

Instantly, your breath left your body in a state of panic, for who did not know of the Crooked Man? He was whispered to have taken part in every recent major crime in an attempt to control Fabletown, and there was nothing he wouldn’t do; suddenly, Ichabod Crane was starting to look like a real martyr.

“Miss (L/N), Sir,” Tiny Tim announced, before leaving you alone with the Crooked Man.

“Ah, yes, Miss (L/N), please, take a seat,” The Crooked Man gestured to the sofa opposite him in the small office.

“Why am I here?” You asked in a small voice, sitting down.

“Why? Because I heard that you were looking for employment, and I saw the manner in which Crane was planning to abuse you.”

“How? That only just happened…”

“Ah, it is of no real concern,” The Crooked Man answered, thinking of Bloody Mary and all she managed to see through her mirrors. “Tea? Coffee perhaps?”

“No, thank you.”

“Ah, I see you have manners. They’re so often overlooked nowadays, don’t you think? Alright, down to business,” He sat down in the armchair and scratched his chin. “I have heard that you are in need of employment, and it so happens that I’m looking for a personal chef, as well as a house maid. You will be free to come and go as you like, and you will be handsomely compensated for your work. The only thing I would ask is for your discretion. You see, my name has certain connotations, as I’m sure you are well aware of.”

A small part of you wanted to ask whether you would be executed if you didn’t take the job, but another larger part of you didn’t seem to care. You had met Tiny Tim time and time again, and he seemed to be a reasonably good judge of character. Perhaps he was right; it wasn’t every day you got offered a job that you were suited to for a good wage.

“It will be a pleasure to work for you, Sir,” You inclined your head politely.

After three months of working for the Crooked Man, you had never been happier. The work was good and it paid more than you deserved. You found yourself looking forward to taking his meals to him, enjoying every interaction with him. He was always polite and respectful, in a way that nobody else had ever been before, and whenever you brought the tea tray to his meetings, he made sure his goons always treated you with the upmost respect. Once, Tweedle-Dee had dared to lay a hand on you, and he was immediately punished. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but it had warned the others off you for good.

While you knew that the Crooked Man’s business dealings were morally wrong, you found that you didn’t care. He had brought you back from the brink of depression, and for that, you would forever be loyal to him.

“Breakfast, Sir,” You announced yourself into the office where he spent most of his time.

“Hm,” He replied, reading through some paperwork. He was unusually quiet as he scanned the script in front of him.

“Everything alright, Sir?”

He put the papers down with a sigh, managing a smile for the first time that morning. “Nothing that cannot be fixed. Just a dip in some stocks of mine that I find rather disappointing.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

“It will all be fine, my dear,” He said with a grin.

Your breath hitched in your throat; he’d never called you anything but your name before. Was it possible that he held the same feelings for you that you harboured for him? Or was it merely a platonic nickname, now that you had been working for him a while.

“A penny for your thoughts, (Y/N)?” He asked, noting your distress.

As coolly as you could, you approached him with his morning tea. Upon delivering it to his desk, you pecked his cheek. It was a move that could possibly lose you your job, but you decided to risk it anyway. If the Crooked Man had any thoughts, he kept them well guarded as you silently left the room, your heart pounding. Once the door was shut, the Crooked Man pressed a hand to where your lips had been and took a deep breath. He would have to find a way to repay the gesture ten-fold; you had very quickly become more to him than just another employee.

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[skyeknight-hyperfixations]

Solas on Romances

[First post of this AU]

Solas on Romances

Actually, Solas wouldn’t be romanceable in terms of the Inner Circle. But Esaldir would be. Solas didn’t get along with a number of the Inner Circle members at first, albeit Cassandra, though it was more of professional respect than real rapport between them until much later.

(Esaldir’s sexual preferences are strictly men)

Solas on Esaldir Romances

Solas didn’t like The Iron Bull at first, due to his firm belief on the Qun.

1. The Iron Bull x Esaldir

Actually, Solas thought nothing much of it at first. He thought the younger elf was just humoring the Qunari spy to build rapport and camaraderie. A part of Josephine’s ‘Esaldir’s a people person, and Solas isn’t all that much, but if they like Esaldir who likes Solas they would tolerate him at the very least’ scheme.

Admittedly, Solas was still 50/50 about that set up.

The first time he heard about their relations, through the whispering nobles at Skyhold, he almost had a heart attack. It would definitely explain why he found that Esaldir appeared to be limping more often lately. He thought the young elf was just over-exerting himself in training.

He then finds the Bull and gave him a shovel talk. Bull didn’t think much of it, but he took him seriously. The Inquisitor was important to Esaldir, so he would respect him just enough. Especially with the older elf’s abilities, he could send demons to haunt his nightmares through the thing he does by going through the Fade on will.

When Esaldir found out, he apologized to Bull profusely and had a serious talk with Solas about it.

Solas backed off. But he was more than willing to hit the Qunari spy after what happened in Adamant fortress to help with whatever Ben-Hassrath training discipline to help him his focus back after confronting such a fearful display of demon shite. 

And he didn’t hold back.

2. Dorian x Esaldir

When it came to choosing who would supervise Esaldir in his magical studies when Solas was busy dealing with Inquisitor business, like sitting in judgment or quests requiring his personal attention, Solas left him with Dorian. Between the Tevinter mage and the Knight-Enchantress, he knew which he preferred.

Additionally, and at the very least, the man didn’t firmly believe that absolutely all mages should be put into Circles. In addition, Dorian had more patience in helping Esaldir out in reading finer literature so both he and Varric were seeing that the previously illiterate elf was become more knowledgeable in some art form. Solas tried to teach him painting, but it ended up disastrously with Esaldir almost empaling his hand with the pointed end of the paint brush. He still wasn’t sure how that almost happened.

For a romantic partner though, Solas didn’t like it. He knew that his being with a Vint, even the ‘good’ Vint, was only going to cause complications in the future for them. In absolutely no manner convincing would he ever allow to let Esaldir follow Dorian to the Imperium. And he can’t expect Dorian to remain in their territory forever. 

And he knew long distance relationships didn’t always end well.

But Solas knew he didn’t really have valid authority over Esaldir. If the young elf should choose to continue such relations. He offers his support regardless. Plus, them starting a relationship also stopped Dorian from making as many criticisms to his outfit choices. 

And again, he would rather him than Vivienne any day.

3. Cullen x Esaldir

Esaldir had a crush on Cullen the first time they met since the man had saved him from getting overwhelmed by a demon. So this would be the least surprising relationship he’d find Esaldir getting into.

However, since Cullen was an Ex-Templar, he feared what the Commander of their forces would do should he encounter relapses considering that Esaldir himself was learning how to be a mage from being a rogue, although he would still use bows and arrows more often. It worsened all the more when the Commander confided to him about his Lyrium withdrawal episodes. Surely, he understood the reasons behind Cullen’s decision, but that didn’t make him feel less unsettled about his and Esaldir starting a relationship of sorts.

It certainly didn’t help that back in Haven, initially, the man had rejected the young elf due to his presumed inclinations leaning solely to women.

Still, Solas did trust that Cullen was a good man and that the blond did seem to fear hurting Esaldir more for Esaldir’s sake than incurring Solas’s wrath. Plus, he saw how good they work together. Cullen feeling more at ease, and getting more required sleep at Esaldir’s insistence. The younger elf understood that Cullen would actually have to lose sleep at times, but he was around to dictate where to draw the line. And Esaldir was motivated to take his magic training more seriously in fear of being unable to control it and hurt Cullen in some way, whether that be by triggering the man’s former discriminated fear over mages or simply hurting Cullen by accident with loose magic.

In any case, Solas figured he could have someone worse for a-sort-of-in-law than Cullen. At least the Commander can put up a decent challenge when they play chess.

5. Blackwall x Esaldir

Of all things, this was one relationship development he did not see coming.

To Solas, Blackwall looked old enough to be Esaldir’s father. Granted, that might be due to the amount of hair he lets grow on his face. Personality wise, Esaldir had a playful nature to him, he has to if he could go along with all the pranks Sera does. Blackwall on the other hand was somber at the best of times, broody at the worse. It made sense why the man would find interest with the brighter, much spirited light that is Esaldir. But Solas couldn’t find reason as to why the latter would find interest in the same manner. Balance, perhaps?

Regardless, Solas didn’t find fault in Blackwall’s earnest devotion to fight for their cause and definitely protectively hovering over Esaldir during battle that Solas never had to worry and could focus to his own fight in front of him.

When they all found out about his true identity, it was only due to Esaldir’s pleading that Solas consider to liberate then pardon the man after his deceit for several years posing as a Grey Warden. Initially, he didn’t approve of the continuation of their relationship right after the trial, but eventually, he saw Blackwall partially the way Esaldir saw him. 

A man striving to be better than the one he was and pretended to be. And that effort was to be acknowledged, if not wholly respected.

(I’m just really into the ‘overprotective older sibling/relative’ trope and see Solas having a lot of potential being that way with how he is with Cole, especially after a Cole - Vivienne banter with the bitch accusing Cole of possessing Solas)

[phoebehalliwell]

Yo that anon with the Bianca/Dency 👌🏻👌🏻 but like ohhh Dency coupd totally meet a cute Phoenix in her universe tho!! 👀 Or maybe a dark Witchlighter? Idk I think her falling I love with a more “neutral” witch hybrid would be cute!

And like do you think her little agency would work with neutral magical sources like phoenixes to find people? Because like Dency could be like a Penn but for the opposite side? If that makes sense?? Like Penn is bringing all the “light” witches together but Dency is really the figures head for the “dark/neutral” witches like the witch hybrids and the phoenixes…like Dency is kinda like the unintentional beacon of light for that side…just by being herself? Like maybe she doesn’t actively campaign for more acceptance for hybrid witches but her mere existence alone and the good she does is enough to get the ball rolling?

tbh as far as dency love interests go i'm a little bit torn because i have this mortal rashid idk if i've talked bout him before but like. he and dency have a classic rivals to lovers arc going on in college liek they fucking Hated each other blah blah blah she definintely gaslighted him a lil with her powers nothing malicious jsut like. teleportation like ha there's no way she'll beat me 2 the best spot in the library bc i just saw her walking up the steps while i am already inside and then boom he walks over there and she's there how?? the fuck>? teleporation fuck u. the point is thru their quasi spy vs spy antics i think they start to gain a sense of respect for one another than and he goes political journalism did this question even mention love interests idk That's Not The Point rashid does politics while dency's a bit more of a muckraker kinda more on a corporate side fraud and all that so they no longer are competitors and um. like they can finally appreciate the other as they are no longer and opponent as with most dency characters they have hooked up a couple times i shouldn't say that because as far as characters that have been introduced dency has slept with none of them bc they are all her besties u should never sleep w ur besties only ur homies but i think. i've stated this before? for starters dency doesn't do a lot of long term relationships just because you know that level of vulnerabilty and like if u really like someone then it's just leverage thatcan be used agianst u Or if u die then ur gonna break their heart but i think she does casual relationships with literally anyone but witches i. haven't posted the chaapter fuck i'll post it now because i've been sitting on it for so long and like i'm worried i'm gonna back myself in a corner w a it's not a plotline i don't like maybe just a plotpoint but i've like. written half the next chapter anyway. i'm also sitting on about 10k i think not only. 7k? unpublished w&s because it's like ending the narrative is ending i really need it to be coherent Speaking of incoherent. dency. i'm gonna post the chapter. but dency hangs out a lot at p3 which has changed hands piper owns her restaurants the backstory for this is.

paige has a charge back in the late aughts she's in a coven the point is her bestie has some traumatic incident happen to her and she wants revenge and it's something that (imo) totally justifies revenge like a killing her rapist type thing and like. it depends how we're going with charmed morality but i've established before i think (?) it's canon that if a witch takes an innocent's life she becomes a warlock like it's possible for witches to defect and become warlock if they take a life Specifically an innocent's life and even tho like that guy would be a mortal he def doesn't get innocent status because he's fucking evil she's allowed to murder him but i think she would murder someone else in the process and then causes her to lose her witch powers and gain a couple warlock powers and the rest of her coven shuns her for it which could have easily sent her down a dark path but paige's charge her bestie like stood by her thru all that like. like it's shit cosmic rules tbh. maybe. for legal reasons: i am not endorsing murder. please for the love of god don't make me admit to a grand jury i have a tumblr that'll be so cringe bro do not murder anyone. but paige's charge stands by her and idk maybe paige gets her a job at p3 all that the point is when piper sells the club to open her restaurant she sells it to paige's charge and her gf the warlock. so p3 kind of becomes a neutral power for magic no vanquishes allowed and it's one of the few places dark magic has on the surface just to vibe u just have to be able to tolerate being served by a witch like she owns the place so that kind of filters it. idk if this is more rambly than it normally is. i promise i'll go back in later and add periods. maybe. i am also a liar. but the point is i think p3 is one of the few places dency can really be hersefl because herself is half demon!! and at magic school she really is suppoed to feel ashamed of that like she hates it or something wishes it gone and Yes. it does scare her. being the source's heir all that. she's always worried about giving in to dark magic but like. she's a demon!!! there's no changing that there's no fighting that pushing it under the rug like. she can't change it she does want to spend her life hating herself like. it's who she is. fuck. so i think she doesn't date witches but like the regulars at p3 some warlocks the occasional like darklighter. dency has had romantic trysts with.

beck to rashid her mortal homies who she has hooked up with who they've always had this rapport they have this thing. bc rashid's smart okay that's why he's at dency's level (respectfully she gets her brains from her father i love phoebe but she's intuitive not intelligent cole on the other hand passed the bar exam (i think) so like.) rashid knows something's up. the point is they each give the other three questions. three questions you ask that the other has to answer fully honestly cards on the table no half truths nothing just the answer. rashid used one of those to find out dency's a witch, but she made him work for it. nothing vague like what are you strange things happen around you why like she's like ask your question but you better be specific about it and he's like fuck it. whatever. magic. that's my answer i think magic happens with you and no i'm not flirting i'm dead serious is magic like. are you magical? and the answer was yes. and rashid like while he was asking while he was like confident enough to admit that out loud to ask that to her face Did not see that coming. of course. there's a difference between like yes i can cast a couple spells and yes i'm the antichrist so. : )! but i think that's like a rapport thing between rashid and dency like whenever they ask hard hitting questions like "is that one of your three questions?" but idk if he's gonna. if he's gonna be it for her. there's also jack dency's childhood bestie so there's the childhood friends to lovers thing but like. i just don't see jack being in love with dency in that way like they're best friends. but not lovers. (but maybe they are??? idk)

But. third potential love interest is if i weren't goign for those two i was actually thinking.

two options here a cupid who reocgnizes dency as "the demon with the cupid ring? yeah that's gotta be the source's heir". so there's that i like the idea of. yeah. : )

but also. and i came up w this in an ask which i will not evne attempti to find. i'm sorry i can't spell you guys but it;s not happening 2nite beloeveds. but if u'vemade it this far. i do love u w my whole heart. dency. love interests. old ask about a squad a half-grimlock. appeal of being able to see auras see good people. this was originally in the ask. a love interest for billie?? maybe. idk. but just like. for dency someine who's always known htey have this immense dark side like. hmmmmmm okay i just thot of somehting. for lili. whish is phillipa. which is the prandy thirdborn. she's phsycics. however tf u spell that sykick. that's not the point dency who has. the source on her soul. falling with someone who can literally see the good in her. i'm picturing the half grimlock just ot like like a normal albino human. and they run a halfway house for those born of evil. because he or she or they idk>??? maybe neorponounds idk!!> whoever they r they run a halfway house for these kids born from demons warlocks darklighters bc they can see the good in them and that shouldn't. you get so scared gifted with these powers you don't understand they need a place to turn to. and the grimlock grimmy offers that place. def not their name but like. grimmy lmoa. ao. yeah. i think jsut opening i think integating magic schoolesp in a dency timeline what with penn and the elders and their pomp and circumstance i think it'd be a pain in the ass. but at the very least A magic school for kids wihtout light magic like they deserve it. evil shouldn't just be their default option. like they're just kids man they're jsut kids they deserve a shot at not even good man not everyone has to go on to be exceptional cure cancer and save the world just like. a chance to understand themselves not be scared. not be hated, jsut be/ like. do they not deserve that? so if grimmy's not a li for dency at the very least they are homies and they like pull together a magic school for neutral/dark beings.

[sweetness47]

Gifts from the Sea 2

Pairing Merman! Sam x Human!Reader

Warnings: Sex, smut, language MATURE 18+ READERS ONLY

Chapter 2

(like it? find chapter 1 here )

Eight months, three weeks, and 5 days after her encounter with her handsome stranger, YN’s water broke at 3:00am. Contractions seized through her abdomen, causing her to cry out, and Cas and Hannah to come running. They gathered up her hospital bag, then helped her to the car.

Evan Cole arrived into the world at 11:00am, 8 lbs 3 oz. YN held the tiny bundle in her arms, marvelling over his brown hair, his tiny fingers and toes. Cas and Hannah were also thrilled at the new arrival. Hannah had been her coach, and YN had been beyond thankful and blessed to have her in the room during the delivery. Cas had volunteered to wait outside, not all that thrilled with blood and the whole birth stuff. But now, holding the baby in his arms, he couldn’t be more proud of YN. Sure, it had started out as a fling, but now he wouldn’t trade his little second cousin for anything.

YN had been able to take some of her pastry courses and business courses online during her pregnancy, and had also applied for a work permit to set up a shop in Greece where she’d had her vacation. There was a part of her that hoped to see the handsome stranger, but she wouldn’t hold those expectations high. She’d only be setting herself up for more heartbreak.

Cas and Hannah decided they would move with her, and had applied for visas as well. They would help her set up the shop and help with the baby. All three were great bakers, hence YN’s desire to open her own bakery, so they were more than up for the challenge. Greece would be an interesting client base, they already had amazing food. It was YN’s mission to make sure they grew to love her baking as much as she loved their authentic Greek cuisine.

Once the visas were sent in for approval, the three studied locations that would work, YN’s first choice was near the beach where she’d had the best vacation of her life. After some research and some careful negotiations, they purchased a building right on the boardwalk. The visas came through eventually, and the family of four made their way to what would be their new home.

~~

Sam and Charlie noticed the sold sign on the building, wondering what would be coming to the shops square. They had been living on the land now for just over a year, and with each moment that passed, Sam lost just a little bit of hope. If they didn’t find her soon, he would just swim away, and never look back. She was his whole world, and he hadn’t realized just how much she meant to him until it was too late. He should have left her a note, and he should have come back sooner.

As the weeks came and went, the two friends watched the building transform, watched workers move about and make the abandoned structure into a bakery. They saw a dark haired man and a woman with long strawberry blonde hair enter and exit many times. Perhaps they were the owners. The man looked like he was from around this area. His features could easily blend in with the locals.

Sam almost missed the other woman, but when he laid eyes on her, there was no mistaking who she was. His heart practically leapt out of his chest. He blinked repeatedly, not believing what he was seeing, worried that if he blinked, she would disappear, and this would all be a lucid dream.

Charlie noticed her friend’s instant shock, turning to see what had him in such a riled state. “Is that her?” she asked quietly.

Sam could only nod. He frowned then, noticing the small moving bundle in her arms. His mind was racing, could…could he have left her with a child? His eyes misted over. His mate, his child, and he’d just left without so much as a note. He felt like such an idiot.

As if sensing the shift in his mood, Charlie studied the small group of people harder, finally noticing the same thing he had. “Is the child yours?”

A hoarse voice answered her. “I think so.”

~~

YN was so excited. She couldn’t believe this was actually happening. The finishing touches were going on now, and the bakery would be open in three days. Cas and Hannah had been such a tremendous help with everything, the paperwork, the building details, the permits, and the baby.

She didn’t know what made her turn around, a feeling maybe, but when she did, her eyes immediately locked with his. Her jaw hit the ground in stunned silence. She bit her lower lip. Should she go talk to him? Introduce Evan? She honestly wasn’t sure. And besides, there was another woman beside him, which would make the conversation awkward as fuck.

And yet her conscience wouldn’t leave her alone. She knew he had a right to know. Even if he had moved on. The child was his.

Taking a deep breath, she excused herself, telling Cas she’d be back in a minute, and started to walk toward him. After what looked like a hushed angry conversation, he started walking toward her, meeting her halfway.

His eyes raked her in, her body just as he remembered, then he looked at the child. He touched the infant’s cheek, running his finger over the smooth skin. He looked up at YN. “Mine?” his words were barely a whisper.

She nodded, mesmerized by his voice. That was the first time she’d heard him speak, and fuck, his voice was as sexy as the rest of him. She felt heat rush straight to her core. She cleared her throat. “Yeah.”

His next words shocked her even more. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have up and left the way I did. I meant to come back, but by the time I did, you were gone.”

She felt tears well up in her eyes. “Why did you then? I…,” she broke down, “I was heartbroken. I tried to enjoy the rest of my stay here, but it wasn’t the same without you. I went home, and then I found out I was pregnant. He was a gift, a way for me to remember you, he brought me back from my depression.”

Charlie, who had wandered over mostly out of curiosity, was the one who caught the pronoun. “He? You have a son Sam.” She breathed, staring at the tiny infant. Then she turned to YN. “Does he have a birthmark? Specifically, one that looks like a trident.” she added.

YN frowned. “How…How did you know that?”

Sam answered. “Every male born into my family does.”

As if to prove it, not that he felt he needed to, he turned and pulled down his neck line of his tee shirt on the right side. Sure enough, on the shoulder blade, was a birthmark shaped like a trident, identical to the one on Evan’s right shoulder.

He stared at the child, then back up to YN. “Can I hold him?”

YN nodded, handing the sleeping infant over to his father. “His name is Evan.” She volunteered as she watched him settle into his father’s embrace.

Sam was in awe. He couldn’t believe how lucky he was. Hell, he couldn’t believe the fates had allowed him another chance with YN. And a child. A beautiful, tiny, baby boy.

YN watched the two interact, smiling as she watched Sam’s eyes travel over the tiny infant. She was amazed at Evan’s instant attraction to his father. Evan was very particular about who held him. He barely tolerated Cas and Hannah. YN swore he knew the man holding him was his dad.

Charlie came up to her, clearing her throat. The last thing she wanted was to become an obstacle between her friend and his mate. She needed to set the record straight. “Sam and I aren’t a couple, if that’s what you first thought when you saw us. We’re just friends, plus I’m his bodyguard. Nothing beyond that.”

Bodyguard? Why on earth would Sam need a bodyguard? Oh. My. God. Was he like royalty or something? That might explain his sudden disappearance, but then why had he come back? There were so many unanswered questions.

Charlie saw the confusion in YN’s eyes. “I will let him explain. He will tell you everything, I promise. But it won’t be easy to hear or believe. Just know that he never stopped looking for you.”

YN nodded. “Ok. But why does he need a bodyguard? Is…is he like royalty or something?”

Charlie took a deep breath. “He needs to tell you everything, but yes, he is royalty.”

Before anything else could be said or asked by either of the three adults, Cas made his way over to where YN stood. “Who are these people YN?”

Sam bristled at the implication that he was anything other than Evan’s father. “My name is Sam, and I’m the child’s father. Who are you, sir, to be interrupting us?”

It was Cas’s turn to be put off. “I’m YN’s cousin. I’ve been her guardian since she was 10 years old.” He narrowed his eyes at Sam. “You have some nerve showing up after abandoning my cousin and leaving her pregnant. You’re lucky I don’t beat the shit out of you for the upset you caused.”

“Cas. Stop.” YN placed a hand on his shoulder. “This is my fight. Not yours. I don’t need you stepping in. Please. Let me handle it.”

Cas glared at Sam once more before turning to YN. “Ok. But the moment he steps out of line…”

“I get it. IF I need help, I will let you know. Ok?”

He nodded before giving her a hug and walking back to Hannah and the building. YN blushed as she turned back to Sam. “Sorry. Cas can be a bit overprotective.”

“I get it. Hell, I deserved that.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck as he watched the other man walk away. “Can we go somewhere and talk? There’s so much I need to tell you, but not out in the open.”

YN looked at him, gauging his facial expressions. She couldn’t see any hint of deception, only concern and maybe fear. What would a man like him need to be afraid of? His fingers brushed a strand of hair from her face, his touch soothing, warm, familiar.

Steeling herself, she nodded. “Ok.”

Charlie mumbled an excuse to leave, nodding to Sam permission to go to their house. Sam took YN’s hand and led her through the paths and narrow walkways to their cottage on the shore.

Once inside, YN made a soft makeshift bed for Evan, then took him from Sam and set the infant down to sleep. Then she stood and looked at Sam, trying not to appear shy and awkward. She took a deep breath as her eyes raked him in, committing every single inch of his perfect body to memory. Even after not seeing him for over a year he still took her breath away. He looked every bit as scrumptious as the last time she’d seen him. Her body hummed and came alive as she closed the distance between them. Her pussy was drenched, aching for him.

He could smell her desire. It called to him like moth to flame, luring him to his destiny. The moment she was in arms reach, he took possession of her, wrapping his arms around her waist and reeling her in, his mouth seeking to possess hers. He thrust his tongue inside her parted lips, dancing with her own tongue, and felt her melt into him. His strong arms swiftly picked her up and carried her toward his room, placing her on the bed. He removed his clothes, then hers, his movements quick and precise. It was almost too much to even be away from each other for that long, the need to be skin to skin was magnetic, life changing, as if they would perish if they weren’t fast enough. He moved over her, nudging her legs apart, and she happily complied, then he was inside her, thrusting hard, her body meeting him stroke for stroke, her soft cries filling the room as he edged her toward the cliff, pushing her into oblivion, his name falling from her lips as she came swiftly, her back arching off the bed. Sam joined her moments later, spilling inside her womb, filling her completely.

He kissed her along her throat, neck, shoulder, and YN gasped as she felt a small sting on the nape of her neck. Her hand flew to the spot where she’d felt the small stab, her fingers finding a tiny lump. Her eyes looked into Sam’s, wondering what the hell had happened.

Sam finally rolled off her and held her close. She still looked up at him, waiting for an explanation, but made no move to remove herself from his embrace.

“What’s going on Sam? Why do you need a bodyguard? Who are you?”

This was going to be one hell of a long, long conversation.

Sam sighed, looking at his mate. He searched her eyes for signs of anxiety, fear, and especially the desire to run from him. The latter was the one he was scared of the most. The thought that she could reject him after revealing the truth almost killed him right there, but there was no way to keep his identity hidden from her, especially now.

A son. He had a fucking son. A part of him. His heir. His flesh and blood. His and hers.

He caught a silky tendril of hair falling haphazardly around her face and tucked it behind her ear. “What I’m going to tell you won’t be easy to hear or easy to believe. In fact,” he paused, “it’s going to make me sound like a damn lunatic.”

YN watched Sam as he chose what to say, as if the next word might send her packing faster than gale force winds. “I promise to listen to everything, and I promise not to laugh or judge you.”

Taking a deep breath, Sam sat up, bringing her up with him, turning so they were face to face. “My name is Prince Samuel. I am second in line for the throne of Atlantis, the underwater kingdom of the Pacific oceans.”

YN stared, unmoving, slowly nodding for him to continue.

He did.

“I’m a merman. My home is the ocean.”

He stopped and waited, hoping, praying that she would stay calm, rational. That she wouldn’t freak out, treat him like some kind of extraterrestrial. If there was ever a time for wishes to come true, it was now. There was no way he could deal with the idea of her rejection. His heart would shatter, break beyond repair. He’d played billions of scenarios over and over in his mind, some good, some not as good, some completely devastating.

Her voice sounded surprisingly at ease as she processed his revelation. “That would explain a lot, like how you appeared on the beach out of nowhere, why you were naked, and maybe why you disappeared after two days. But, why didn’t you come back?”

“I intended to,” he confessed, “although I did need to soak in the ocean regardless. Our bodies can’t be out of the water for more than 48 hours at a time. But, by the time I went home and came back, you were gone. Charlie and I stayed in hopes that maybe you’d return here.”

Her brows furrowed. “So, you basically ran away from your family to wait for a possibility that I might come back here?” He nodded. Her eyes widened suddenly. “Oh my…so our son is…?”

He nodded again. “He is part merman, part human. His tail, from what I hear, should start to form when he reaches the age of two. But it is controlled, and it only will happen when he swims in salt water.”

“From what you hear? You’re insinuating your people don’t usually have offspring with humans. How many times has this happened? And is there a chance Evan won’t survive? Will he…”

Sam stopped her. “YN, our son won’t die. You have my word. A Halfling hasn’t been heard of for over a hundred years. Mostly it’s dwindled down to whispers and remnants of recorded history.”

YN flopped backwards onto the bed, stunned, shocked by what she’d just been told, her mind trying desperately to process everything while attempting to keep her sanity. “Wow.” She breathed. She glanced warily over to the man beside her, remembering something else. “What did you do to my neck?”

“I marked you. It is customary between mates, like being engaged in your world. It will show my people you are my mate.” He paused. “Unless you don’t want me. The mark can be removed, with your rejection of my bond, but it could be devastating for both of us, physically and mentally. I can feel every emotion going through your mind, and I know how difficult it was for you to be alone during the pregnancy. But, I plan to make up for that from this day forward, if you’ll have me.”

YN let out a slow shaky breath, weighing her options. She still had feelings for Sam, a lot of them, and, if this moment was any indication, he had similar feelings for her. They had a son together, and he’d already made his interest in Evan known, which she was immensely relieved about. He had no intention of taking him from her. Rather, he wanted them to be together, to be a family. Was she ready for that? She stared into those hazel orbs of his, seeing hopefulness, desire, a silent plea to her heart.

“I do want you. I never stopped loving you Sam. But I want to know more. I want you to show me everything. No secrets, no hiding.” She pursed her pink lips, still swollen from their heated kisses, “If Evan will be able to swim without drowning, and you obviously can, how does that work for me?”

“The mate mark. My DNA now runs through your veins. It will allow you the ability to breathe under water without drowning. You don’t get a tail, at least not to my knowledge, but we will be able to be together.”

A mischievous grin appeared on her face when he said that. “And…if we decide we want to have more mind-blowing sex, we can always come ashore.” She giggled at his reaction, before pushing him back onto the mattress, straddling him. “I love you Sam. I am willing to give this whole thing a try, for us, and for Evan.”

Sam nodded, his hands splayed over her hips as she ground against his cock, bringing it back to life. Instinctively he thrust up into her, and she moaned at the sensations coursing through her body, at how full he made her feel. Gods, he was impossibly thick and long. Yet her walls stretched and accommodated him well, as though he was made just for her.

He turned the tables then, flipping them over and taking back control. He pulled out, much to her dismay, before laying soft kisses along her breasts, her abdomen, then lower, settling down between her thighs. That’s where his prize lay.

YN forgot how to breathe as he delved into her folds, tasting the musky flavor she offered. Sam was like a man starved, sucking her clit, nipping it, then thrusting his tongue into her waiting channel. Clutching the sheets, YN squirmed as she ground against his face, desperate for it to be closer, as if that were possible. Her release coated Sam’s face as he rode out the explosive orgasm. But he didn’t stop. He added two fingers into her slick opening, moving them with antagonizing slowness, torturing his mate. Not that she was complaining.

Sweat coated her skin as she screamed out, orgasmic waves crashing into her as her eyes rolled back in her head. “Fuck…Sam!” she stammered as he continued, heading to her third, arching her back off the bed as she saw stars. Her whole goddamn body felt like it had been catapulted into space, covered in fluffy cotton candy. So sweet was the pleasure.

Sam crawled back up her body slowly, his tongue leaving a hot trail over her. His mouth took possession of hers once more as he sought to reclaim his spot inside her with his aching cock. She eagerly welcomed him, moaning as she tasted herself on his lips. The thrusts were hard, almost brutal, so eager was the need for his own release. His cries filled the room as he exploded inside her, filling her full of his seed, panting and nuzzling into the crook of her neck as her walls milked every drop.

No sooner had they finished, then Evan woke, crying and desperate for his own attention. YN blushed as she got up, grabbed her robe, and went to fetch their son. She brought him back to the bed and laid him down between Sam and her, as she got back onto the bed.

Sam propped himself onto his elbow so he could stare at his son. Evan, satisfied that he now was the center of attention, cooed and smiled at his father, reaching his tiny hand to try and grab Sam’s nose. Sam softly chuckled as he allowed Evan to touch his nose, marveling at just how perfect he was.

YN’s heart was filled with love as she watched her son interact with his father. She marveled at how alike they looked, and how Evan seemed to know who Sam was to him. But that was impossible right? Until today, Evan had never met his dad. He was only 4 months old.

Yet the recognition was there.

YN moved and slid part of her robe down so she could feed Evan. Sam watched as his son moved to latch onto her breast, greedily taking the nourishing milk she offered. The entire scene was beautiful, and he gained even more respect for his mate than before, if that was possible.

When Evan was done and had burped in satisfaction, he resumed bonding with Sam. YN was more curious now than ever. She just had to ask. “How is it Evan seems to know you?”

Sam looked up from his son. “My DNA. He can smell who I am.”

YN giggled and wrinkled her nose. “That just sounds weird, and a little gross.”

“That’s the simplest description though. His mind and his senses tell him right from birth who his parents are. He will also, by smell, be able to identify my brother and my father when he meets them.”

Her jaw dropped. “Wow.”