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sovereignxfae · 2 years

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🌙 s𝐞𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐲 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐟𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬.

Tagged by; @distopea (lovingly stuffing your posts in my mouth)

Tagging; @astra-stellaris (azha), @sanseitm

1. what does your muse smell like?

First and foremost, lingering scent of colonge and sweet perfume. It's a deep scent with a spicey tone to it.

As for their personal scent; smoke, maybe ash. scent of wood (good smelling ones) being burnt. Some hints of charcoal? For sure dusty but it smells homey almost. It's a steady transition of scents.

2. what do your muse’s hands feel like?

Their hands are a good size. Fairly stubby because of their hobby in blacksmithing. Corns at their inside of their palms. Chips and bruises in their skin from miscalculated hammer swings.

From their time in traditional drawing there are small 'writer calluses' on their index and thumb finger. So their hands are rough but they try their hardest to make them as soft as they could be regardless with lotions and other things like soups.

3. what does your muse usually eat in a day?

Anything they can get their hands on. They snack more than they eat in a day. Big meals are just the big meals of the day (breakfast/lunch/dinner)

They may buy takeout if they crave it but usually it's when they're not hungry enough to eat full meals.

They prefer sweet and savoury things to snack on. Baked goods and fried/grilled things are in their absolute favourites.

4. does your muse have a good singing voice?

No, mostly. They've taken classes but they were very short lived. They don't mind sounding like a dying turkey when they're blasting music that is probably bad for their ears. Their music taste is made up of mostly raps and low register songs regardless, they can work in their normal voice range quite fine.

5. does your muse have any bad habits or nervous ticks?

Bad habits. I'll just give a few of each and state which verse they're from!:

Forgoing meals. (main/fmab)

Overworking. (main/mafia)

Forgetting their own comfort levels for someone else. (mafia)

Chewing on hands. (all)

As for ticks, K'in doesn't have many. They tend to avoid eye contact heavily when they're nervous, grind their teeth and pull on their hair.

6. what does your muse usually look like / wear?

K'in's wardrobe is very chaotic but in a harmonized way. Their options range from somewhat hyper feminine to hyper masculine centric articles of clothes.

Their personal style is made up of everything they have in their closet and then put together on a way to give off a androgynous aesthetic to fit their comfort.

They also use accessories to help with this. Usually dangly things in gold, silver or bronze. They do have lazy days where they just through things together, then they look very loosely spun together— like unraveling wool.

It all depends on what mood you catch them in but usually they are very non-gender conforming.

7. is your muse affectionate? how much? how so?

K'in is very affectionate. Their main love language is gift giving so they usually buy/make things for loved ones and such. It all depends on what the other person is comfortable with but shopping sprees are a must regardless of protest.

8. what position does your muse sleep in?

They start out on their side and always end up either tucked into a corner or curled up in a ball in the middle of the bed. K'in moves alot in their sleep, they usually sleep in tank tops and underwear for the most part but if it's a bit chilly (by their standards. for everyone else it's freezing) they wear a thin pair of leggings and a loose shirt.

9. could you hear your muse in the hallway from another room?

Probably yes. They talk to themself rather often, more so if they're comfortable. Their normal speaking voice is fairly loud and can be heard by others if they aren't actively trying to whisper. If they're feeling something strongly that's when they tend to quiet down, just to process then they get loud again.

#❝ no time for rest no pillow for my head — ❞ (headcanons)#tag games #❝ the formed iron — ❞ (about the royal)#//watch me say the dress androgynously in so much words become i wanted to be clear on what i meant and lost myself #//<- written after i finished this 😭#//also did i make up a scent of them because personally i have no idea what perfume and colonge smell like cause most are too strong for me #//to think about smells? yes. and you will like it 😤🤞

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dankusner · 3 months

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The Lay’s Potato Chip Drink Is the Most Unhinged Semifinalist in the 2024 State Fair of Texas Big Tex Food List

If you want a trend prediction, look to the State Fair of Texas semifinalists this year: there are 10 in the savory category and 14 sweets.

That is unusual — typically the savories not only out number but out power the sweets, by far.

Things sound just fine, for the most part, on the savory side of the semifinalists list.

But many of the sweets are straight up wild.

And not all of them are strictly sweet.

Here’s the list this year. You’ll be able to taste them at the fair starting on September 27.

Savory

Deep Fried Crispy Vietnamese Crepes

Better known as deep fried banh xeo, these Vietnamese crepes get an extra-crispy makeover for the fair, courtesy of a deep fryer.

The crepe is filled with meat, dipped in a dipped in a golden crepe batter that tastes of coconut, and served with a dipping sauce on a bed of lettuce. Hey, that’s a vegetable!

Dominican Dog

What happens when you take Dominican queso frito and salami frito, dip them in corn dog batter, and deep fry it? These folks call it a Dominican dog and then drizzle it with a secret sauce and add crushed garlic plantain chips and chopped cilantro. What could the secret sauce be? Chimichurri? Is that too obvious?

The Drowning Taquitos

This one is a chicken taquito that gets deep fried (who would have guessed?) and is served in a cup with cream sauce, jalapeno, guacamole salsa, shredded lettuce, chunks of avocado, tomatillo, pico, and Cotija cheese. You get it, it’s drowning in its toppings. Sorry in advance but no way this wins.

Fat Bacon Pickle Fries

Take a deep fried pickle sliver (yes, not even the whole pickle because apparently we’re being judicious this year), batter and fry it, dust it with spicy ranch pepper seasoning, and cover it in queso — but you’re not done yet. Then these suckers get topped like a baked potato with thick-cut maple caramelized bacon chunks, sour cream, jalapenos, and chives. Hopefully they’re giving out forks to eat this with.

Hammy Pimento Meltdown

Someone added black forest ham to a pimento cheese sandwich and grilled it on two pieces of Texas toast. That’s it, that’s the whole bite. It sounds excellent.

Hippie Chips

This one takes a serving of potato chips and coats them in your choice of ranch or blue cheese dressing, then that gets topped with chopped green onions, bacon bits, sriracha, and blue cheese crumbles. This could practically be gourmet food, or could be a high school cafeteria experiment. Probably great when you’re high.

Hot Chick-in-Pancake Poppers

It’s Nashville hot chicken with pimento cheese (a delicious combo), covered with pancake batter (the wheels are coming off this idea now), fried, and drizzled with sriracha honey and Nashville hot powered sugar (what the hell is that?). Not gonna lie, slightly scared of this one.

Oktoberfest Pizza

In honor of the month of October, someone decided to top pizza with a spicy mustard-infused white cream sauce, top it with mozzarella and cheddar, add German sausage, skillet fried potatoes, sauteed onions, green peppers, and sauerkraut. This is easily the most interesting savory dish. Easily.

Texas Fried Burnt End Bombs

It’s burnt ends wrapped with shredded potato, bacon, and a green onion mixture and then deep fried. So, kind of a fully loaded and deep fried baked potato? Except instead of sour cream, this is served with a side of raspberry chipotle barbeque sauce. Intriguing.

Triple Meat Big Back Snack

Okay, brace yourself: this is like a seven-layer dip but for meat. The base layer is elote. That gets topped with chopped beef brisket, then smoked gouda mac and cheese, then a buttermilk biscuit, and finally the last topper is cubed Hogzilla pork belly burnt ends. That is not enough, however. The dish also has a loaded nacho beef brisket sausage link (what??) cut in halves and topped with deep-fried crinkle-cut maple waffle-flavored potato slices. That’s less of a snack and more of a whole meal. Sweet

Beso De Angel

This bite starts with a sugary fritter formed into the shape of a taco that gets filled with sweet crema, strawberry preserves, whipped cream, cajeta caramel, sweetened condensed milk, and is finally topped with sliced fresh strawberries. Its inspiration comes from traditional Mexican desserts like the buñuelo and fresas con crema.

Caramel Macchiato Fritters

Coffee cake balls get filled with a hefty serving of caramel, then dipped in beignet batter and deep fried. They are, of course, topped with whipped cream, caramel, and white chocolate drizzle. Finally, they’re injected with a shot of espresso to counteract all that sugar.

Cookie Butter Nachos

To make this one, flour tortilla chips get coated cinnamon sugar. They’re served with a scoop of cookie butter cheesecake filling and topped with cream cheese icing, caramel sauce, and crushed Biscoff cookies. Sounds like a good one for walking around and eating.

Cotton Candy Bacon on a Stick

As any smart physicist would tell you, this one starts with bacon on a stick — that’s just science. That is dipped in a cotton candy syrup glaze and then it hits the cotton candy machine. This is a brilliant idea, bring it on.

Crookies

Yeah, it’s a croissant merged with a cookie and they’ve been viral on the internet all year. Next.

Frozen Limoncello

It’s frozen limoncello, which is certainly an upgrade from frozen lemonade. Next.

It’s Bananas…B-A-N-A-N-A-S

Take a banana shake and top it with banana pudding, and yes please. It’s topped with whipped cream, Nilla wafers, chocolate-covered bananas, and a caramel drizzle. They could leave the caramel off.

LAY’S Potato Chip Drink

This one is unhinged. These folks took Lay’s potato chips and combined them with mango, citrus juices, hot honey, jalapeno infused syrup, and strawberry drizzle. Its topped with sweet foam and Lay’s Sweet & Spicy Honey Potato Chips — okay what kind of manic made this up?

Nutty Bar-laska

This takes a chocolate-dipped nutty bar and rolls it in peanuts, then covers it with marshmallow fluff and toasts it — yes, like over a campfire so it’s burnt and crispy with melty marshy mellowy stuff. Somehow two Oreos get involved, along with strawberry sauce and freeze-dried strawberries. Who knows.

Standing on Business

It’s salted caramel ice cream from Howdy Homemade Ice Cream in a waffle cone bowl topped with a dark chocolate cookie from Cookie Society…topped by a piece deep fried sweet potato pie that has chocolate and caramel sauce, powdered sugar, whipped cream, a cherry, French fries, and a chicken wing. Good lord.

Strawberry Pop-Tarts® Beignetffle

This one combines beignet and croissant dough that gets topped with strawberry filling, vanilla icing, whipped cream piping, and sprinkles — and it’s served on a stick. So like a funfetti beignet? Somehow it all tastes like a strawberry pop-tart, allegedly.

Texas Sugar Rush Pickles

Cotton candy-flavored pickle slices — okay stop right there, that’s a hard no. Okay, fine, let’s continue. These flavor-infused pickle slices get covered in Lucky Charms, Froot Loops, and Cap’n Crunch, and are then layered in cotton candy, cotton candy sugar crystals and powdered sugar, strawberry sundae syrup, and vanilla ice cream. Ugh, no.

Tropical Two-Step Punch

This can be served alcoholic or NA, and seems to feature whatever variety of citrus, passionfruit, mango, or whatever is on hand that day. You’re going to need one with a heavy dose of booze to get through those weird sugary pickles.

Whole Bundt of Kisses

This starts with a deep fried 7Up bundt cake, which is a thing that exists, that gets filled with Belgian chocolate and is then topped with homemade chocolate chip cookies, miniature kisses, powdered sugar, a full-sized Hershey’s, whipped cream, and silver glitter. Okay, sure.

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worldrandom · 1 year

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National holidays

6-29

fishermans day hug holiday international day of the tropics international mud day national almond buttercrunch day national bacon burnt end day national bomb pop day national handshake day national waffle iron day saint peter and saint paul day watermelon seed spitting week

6-30

congo in dependece day cream tea day drive your corvette to work day national ford truck day national corvette day national meteor watch day national safer work place day

7-1

american zoo day blink 182 canada day doctors day(india) early bord day hop a park day international cherry pit spitters day international joke day national ginger snap day national postal workers day zip code day clean beaches week beans month corn month eggplant month family golf month hitchhiking month national bison month national blueberry month national grilling month national hot dog month

7-2

build a scarecrow day i forgot day made in the usa day national disco day world sports jourralsits day world ufo day be nice to jerry week

7-3

air conditioning appreciation day american redneck day disobedience day esala full moon day international drop a rock day international plastic bag free day mothers day south sudan national chocolate wafer day natioanl eat beans day national fried clam day national independent beer run day st thomas history the fest of saint petter and paul

7-4

alice in wonderland day caribbean community day independence day independence from meat day indivisible day jackfruit day national caesar salad day wueen sonja day

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whatdoesshedotothem · 3 years

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Tuesday 10 September 1839

9 20/..

F62 ¼° and fine at 4 20/.. had been up at 3 20/. for a few minutes – off from Keala [Kealanoja] at 5 28/.. very nice clean good Inn – good beds and eating in about ¾ hour steep pitch on the wood bridge and Gross would put the drag on – forbade his doing so again without my orders – at 6 ½ picturesque little low unpainted village and river – 1st stage road rather sandy or small red gravelly and more hilly than before – fine lake (fjord) ahead (right) – and we had a peep of it before – drizzling rain begins now at 6 35/.. picturesque rounded wooded hilly country the vale we wind along widish and well cultivated – dotted all over with barns – rye harrowed in in several directions on the same plot of ground wavy and crosswise and several ways in some of the fields -

SH:7/ML/TR/13/0027

September Tuesday 10 the little corn left out is I think oats – Guidepost

at Salå [Salo] indicates

Abo [Åbo] 55 w.

St. p- 565.

Helsingforss [Helsingfors] 155

Kiala 12 ½ here but 12 2/3 at Keala [[Kealanoja]

Hämenkylä [Hämeenkylä] 18 ¾ our next stage

at Salå [Salo] at 6 42/.. – small singular house – could not sleep – from here road hilly (pitchy) much young forest with mossy rocks Norway-like – and rud-red moss on the stones – cranberry (Lingboer) juniper and observed a little sweetgale John observed that here the juniper was quite fresh, and Sweden much withed! no truth in this – A- and I see little difference between here and about Stockholm – no corn to cut [seen] today and very little to house and we left much to cut between Falun and Stockholm everything quite as forward here as there – no maples (saw one solitary one afterwards) nothing but fir except birch and alder and a few Salleys about 7 55/.. pretty little shallow lake – the 2nd stage very pretty picturesque valley-winding drive – not much cattle out – but both horses and cows look chiefly chesnut – the [fine] wooded rocky hills very picturesque – our servants breakfasted before starting but not we – more sheep out this stage than before – little windmills everywhere scattered up and down in Sweden they are larger and near to towns –

vide Handbook p. 131 column 1 Road to Keala [Kealanoja] described as one that one should shudder at anywhere but in the north!!!

at 8 25/.. 1st gate and another a few minutes afterwards – In Sweden the roads blocked by them perpetually – on average 1 every ½ English mile or more and Norway almost but not quite so bad – no need of forbud – How much better than in Sweden! I see it is potato tops (they hang on the rails to dry for the cattle) that look so green and heavy on the rails I could not make them out yesterday – at 9 at Hämenkylä [Hämeenkylän] a little low wood station house of no great promise but kitchen a part – some very tolerable rooms for us travellers and we stop to breakfast – no begrudging the time for 2

September

Tuesday 10

calêches at the door going off with each a pair of horses, and we must wait a couple of hours – Really one is much better off here in Finland than anyone ought to expect considerably the small means of the country – we like Finland – we have learnt our lesson as to roads and stations in Norway and latterly north of Upsala [Uppsala] and we are quite at home now – the roads so far very good – rather more heavy and hilly this last stage than before – the road from Åbo to Keala [Kealanoja] or Kiala very good and hardly a hill or pitch at all to our mind – I hear someone trying to tell Gross that 3 miles = 30 wersts from here there is an Inn kept by an Englishman – the drizzling rain that began about 6 35/.. last more or less till about 8 – breakfast coffee and boiled milk and bread and butter charged to John at first 3 ½ rubels – then in a bill to me 1 rigs. dollar and a half I would have it in rubels – he charged 2 rubels - 2 rubels = more than 1.24.0 rigsgold but paid it – and on my saying I would write my complaint the man turned pale and snatched away the book – he understood my saying in French he had no right to make out his account in Swedish money – I asked John what to write signifying that I was dissatisfied but he got off telling me, and both I and he got a little impatient about names of places and exactness of distances paid for 18 ¾ w. + 1/6 = 4/53 and the place called Lombala instead of Hämenkylä [Hämeenkylän] – Does that make 1/8w. difference? a civil fat traveller here came and gave us a currant wheat flour saffron sort of roll – would have been very good but for the saffron – off at 10 50/.. (Dont trouble this house again – the landlord would not give charge for a five Rubel bill when I wanted to pay for the horses but had plenty when I had to pay for breakfast) – good deal of forest this stage (sandy road) from Lombala to Olsbola [Olsböle] (17 ½ w.) on moss-covered rock as in Norway but still all young wood

at 11 50/.. village and wood bridge over river – we seldom pass thro’ villages but see them occasionally scattered at some distance from us tho’ the country not so populous as the north of Sweden –

vide Road book p. 161. 4 Runstyeken = 1 kopek

.:. 12 Runstycken or 1sk. B. 12 öre = 18kop.

= 3 kop. and 1 Dollar B. = 144 kop. 50 Daler = 24 Rubel

SH:7/ML/TR/13/0028

September Tuesday 10 if 4 Runstycken = 1kop. and .:. 3 kop. = 1 sk. Swedish banco then 1 Dollar B. = 48x3 = 144kop. but I received 181 kop. per D.B. at Åbo yesterday –

and the price offered at Stockholm was 41sk. rigs. per Rouble (32 Sk. banco) –

Bill at Lombala 1.24.0 rigs = 48+24 = 72sk. rigs

72/41 = 1 31/41 rouble or about 1 ¾ rouble instead of two Rubels that I paid – but reckon

2kop. = 1sk. rigs.

3 kop. = 1sk. banco

vide foot of last page

at 12 35/.. potato tops frost bit – the people are right to cut them while green – at 12 ¾ Olsböle very neat nice clean looking station – the post says went in – wrote in the Biörsby 16w.

till Helsingforss [Helsingfros] 117w.

St. P- 528w.

book – very nice rooms Hämenkylä [Hämeenkylän] 17w.

and some small cold fried fish in larder cupboard near the stairs – one should be well here - civil enough to give us change for a 5 Rub. number in ¼ hour (at 1 1/2) pretty lake (right) and scattered village – pretty country – road hilly and sandy and foresty and green young rye among the burnt fir stumps – very heavy sandy gravelly road thro’ the forest now at 2 5/.. after a terrible heavy full uphill thro’ the forest – little low unpainted picturesque village and houses scattered all about – very pretty bit of open wide vale here shut in all round by wooded rocky hill – at 2 ¼ another pretty lake and basin valley and hill into young forest again – at 3 our 3rd gate all the way from Åbo and a gentleman’s house hid in wood birch and alder very pretty drive – hilly, woody, villagy, sandy – at 3 5/.. uphill get out and walk ¼ hour – a great relief – gathered a little morsel of rud-red moss stone looks just like round – not easily rubbed-off – observed 1st time curious

September Tuesday 10 little pink fungus like a little round pink button pink bare round granite masses of rock and a few bare round granite hills – very pretty drive this last stage – and now in ascending nice little lake en face (right) and station (now at 3 25/..) of Olsbole [Olsböle] - oldish looking house but good fire blazing in the kitchen – might sleep? yes! just

went in to write in day book – nice room – might sleep – off at 3 48/.. oats out here the sheaves made into like small hay cocks –

corn everywhere (here and Sweden and Norway) taken up rather promiscuously – that is the heads not all together but some at one end and come at the other of the sheaf – potato tops hanging on the fences (like those in Sweden) to dry – very pretty – wooded wooded island hills and lake – and scattered picturesque little cottages – and rock and windings of the valley – and in a minute or 2 pretty little boulder stone built church with separate belfrey as common here in Finland – more small unpainted houses the natural drab-colour of weathered boards with white chimneys – road very sandy now after passing the church – at the end of this lake a few red cottages white window frames and chimneys – and a large yellow house with dark drab roof looking like a gentleman’s house with its appurtenances – wood – water wooded islands – cottages – very pretty – here some lands of rye about a yard broad – all along occasionally a little Swedish [?] in the pastures – beautiful drive this stage – now at 4 20/.. sunny and peep of the gentleman’s house – and wind down hill over bridge – river – [beeches] along it other side and fir forest along our road – very pretty – hilly more pitchy – this our most beautiful stage – but nothing yet at all equal (as to steep road) to the descent upon Swinesund ferry or Xtiania – at 4 ½ saw mill (little one) and little cascade of the river – very pretty and the beauty goes on – at 4 50/.. pretty picturesque village (on our pretty river) of Milnasbrook as pronounced – 2 or 3 mills and pretty cascade of the river

SH:7/ML/TR/13/0029

September Tuesday (and right) on entering village is guide post pointing (right) to Ekenas [Ekenäs] and now at 4 55/.. road sandy à la Hazelunen – at 5 10/.. cross the broad shallow stream (wood bridge) into another scattered little unpainted village – have seen much of the narrow land-rye since 1st observing it this morning – the church and lake (left) of our last passed thro’ village very picturesque – the belfrey tower of the church carved up in 4 steps of roof finishing in a little dome – our drive this stage very beautiful – the most beautiful since Åbo – Sunshine now at 5 25/.. and for this hour past. and now in young forest again – alternate forest, and break, and villages and water and wooded hill and rock – but the road very sandy – at Nyby at 5 40/.. – nice little new unpainted single house standing in a circular spot cleared out in the midst of the forest which since 5 25/.. we have come thro’ – the post indicates Nyby

till St. P- 495 ½ v. [w.]

Biörsby [Björsby] 16v. [w.]

Kyrckstad [Kyrkstad] 16 ½ v. [w.]

the horizonally laid logs (laid in moss one upon another) are not covered inside or outside but look very neat – here as at Lombala this morning (1st time) the double glass window is already put in inside, and paper pasted over the crevices here where everything is clean and tidy we have a beautiful white moss and dried yellow marigolds put at the bottom between the glasses – at Lombala it was coarse cotton wool – just sketched the little box as above and wrote thus far and then prepared for dinner now at 6 40/.. drizzling rain from about 6 35/.. to 8 but afterwards fine, and very fine sunny afternoon and fine evening – it now begins to be dresky and ½ hour hence soon after 7 it will begin to be darkish – with our heavy carriage and the steep pitches in the roads we want daylight, and then there is no danger, and [news] not the strongest may bear our

September Tuesday 10 galloping downhill – dinner at 7 10/.. to 8 20/.. a coq de bois and a gelinotte – excellent little pancakes and good bread and excellent butter and good cheese, and good water and afterwards each of us had a cup of good coffee – enjoyed our dinner and took our time – before we had done 2 Russian gentlemen from Helsingforss [Helsingfors] to Åbo came in – had Grotza at 8 20/.. to 8 ¾ - F61° now at 8 50/.. pm

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firewoodfigs · 4 years

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Hey Friend, I know I'm a bit late with this but how about - "an answer to the prompt ‘fevered forehead kisses’" Thanks. :)

here you go, friend!! this one’s for you and @brucestephenbucky, who both requested an answer to the prompt ‘fevered forehead kisses’ :)

[also, this turned out to be longer than expected (~3k words), so it’s on ao3 as well! for easier reading, all that stuff xD]

Summary: In which Riza is down with a cold, and Roy is both anxious and painfully oblivious. Also, Roy has to conquer his greatest nemesis yet: carrots. (young Royai)

~x~

Riza Hawkeye always woke up by sunrise. This was an immutable fact of life; as unchanging as the fact that the sun would rise every morning from the east. Not once had Roy seen her sleep in — not even on the weekends.

But today was different.

The sun had already risen long ago, and the roosters were back with their awful crowing. And even the morning dew that embraced the paltry patches of yellowing grass outside with timeless regularity was starting to evaporate by now.

Still, Riza was nowhere to be found.

Roy’s first thought was that she’d gone on one of her routine grocery trips. But Riza Hawkeye was the human incarnation of efficiency, if nothing else. Unlike his sisters, who had an uncanny tendency to get distracted by other things along the way (because apparently every girl loved shopping on a biological level, or so they claimed), grocery shopping was something she could easily complete in about a half an hour or less.

And it had been nearly two hours since he’d waited idly by the fireplace for Riza to come in through the front porch with that shy, contented smile that she always wore in the morning.

Believing that this might’ve been a rare, life-changing occasion where Riza wanted to experience the wonders of sleeping in, Roy therefore took it upon himself to prepare breakfast for the both of them. Typically, this wasn’t preferable, as he was only capable of making two things that were remotely edible: toasts, and eggs. (Not even fried eggs. Boiled eggs, because those were impossible to screw up.) To make up for the slightly burnt toast, Roy brewed a sweet, soothing mixture of chamomile tea with cinnamon.

Then he laid everything out on the dining table and hoped for the best.

Fifteen minutes passed. Breakfast was beginning to cool down. The mugs were no longer steaming; in them only a lukewarm stillness that reflected his lonely, worried expression.

Roy bit into the burnt edge of a piece of toast, consulting the grandfather clock down by the inordinately large hallway.

The empty hallway.

Ten-hundred hours.

Roy sighed into his tea. Ten more minutes, he decided. Ten more minutes. If Riza wasn’t down by then, he’d go upstairs and check on her instead.

In the end, Roy found himself dragging his feet up the old, creaky stairs. He balanced the tray delicately on one hand, and knocked at her door gently with the other.

“Miss Riza?” Roy called softly, deciding against dropping the honorific. (Riza might’ve given him permission to call her by her first name, but she still was not taking the liberty of addressing him as such.)

Silence.

Roy knocked again.

The tray wobbled precariously.

“Miss Riza?”

A groan resounded from the other end, before he heard footsteps padding softly towards him. Then the door opened to reveal Riza in all her pale, half-awake glory.

To say that she was a mess was a bit of an understatement. Her hair was uncombed and completely disheveled (very much unlike her usual self); cheeks flushed a deep scarlet — a stark contrast against the sickly pallor of her countenance.

“Mister Mustang,” Riza rasped weakly. But her demeanour was quick to shift once she caught sight of the tray in his hands. Instantly she straightened like a soldier standing at attention, back straight and shoulders tense. “I’m so sorry — what time is it?”

“You have nothing to apologise for,” Roy reassured hastily. “It’s about ten —“ Riza’s eyes widened, and her mouth opened like she was about to admonish herself for not getting started on her endless list of chores earlier, “— but don’t worry about it. Are you sick?”

A shiver wracked through her petite frame, one that she tried miserably to conceal by wrapping her thin arms around herself. “I’m not,” Riza lied unconvincingly. “I —“

“Have a lot to do, I know,” Roy interjected, biting back a sigh at her stubbornness. God, the girl really needed to get her priorities straight. “But you’re obviously unwell. And besides, I already made you breakfast. I didn’t do such a bad job, see? I even managed to make you your tea just the way you like it...”

“I — thank you,” she muttered, turning away to sneeze daintily into the crook of her elbow. “But really, it’s just a minor cold. You didn’t have to...” Riza trailed off as another shudder assaulted her.

Roy pursed his lips, somewhat bemused by her insistence (and poor attempts at deceit). He cleared his throat and straightened, imitating the tone that his indomitable sisters used whenever he was trying to wriggle his way out of drinking some weird, medicinal concoction. “It clearly doesn’t sound like a minor cold. You should rest before it gets worse.”

“But...”

“No buts, Miss Riza.”

Roy set the tray down on her bedside table, then strode back to where she was. Gingerly, Roy put a hand on her shoulder. When she didn’t flinch from the contact, he gently guided her back towards her bed. Riza didn’t protest. Instead, she was quick to settle back down, clutching onto her blankets for dear life — as if the short walk to her door had sapped her of all her energy.

“Just rest, okay? I’ll take care of everything else.”

Evidently too weak to argue further, Riza nodded and coughed into a fist. “I’m really sorry for the trouble —“

“You have nothing to apologise for,” he nearly exclaimed, a little frustrated by her self-deprecating logic. In what universe was it someone’s fault for falling sick — something that was not even within one’s realm of control? “Just let me know if you need anything, okay? A doctor, medicine, whatever. It’s what friends do for each other.”

“Friends...” she mumbled, eyes averted — in embarrassment? He couldn’t tell. Despite the remarkable progression in their relationship, Riza Hawkeye was still very much an enigma.

“Friends,” Roy affirmed, fluffing the coverlet a little before leaving hastily, his own heart pounding in his throat.

~x~

Roy spent the rest of the day dusting the window panes, sweeping the carpeted floors and drying the laundry in between studying for his upcoming test. More than once he’d spotted Riza coming down the stairs, meandering around the hallways aimlessly like she was inspecting for non-existent dust under the guise that she was just about to pour herself another glass of water.

Roy was quick to see through her excuses, however, and had ushered her back into her room with a full jug of water instead. Every hour or so, he’d go up to check on Riza, a warm cup of freshly-made ginger tea in his hands (a remedy that his aunt swore by, despite its repulsive taste) and constant reassurances that he was doing just fine with the chores.

When evening-time came around, Riza appeared in the kitchen, eyes bleary and nose pink. Roy withheld the urge to roll his eyes.

How stubborn could one person get? And was there — no, would there ever be a point where she’d come to spare a thought for herself? To put herself ahead of others?

Probably not, he thought wryly.

“I’m a lot better, really,” she sniffed, huddling an old, tattered shawl around her for warmth. (Roy made a mental note to get a new cardigan for her — one that was thicker; more suited for unfortunate days like these. Maybe a pink, fluffy one that matched her secret femininity.) “I should start making dinner.”

Right. He’d completely forgotten about that.

“I can take care of that,” he said. Riza quirked a brow at him, unconvinced. Roy shoved his wounded ego back down his throat and tried again. “Really. I’ll just make up a simple stew for us.”

What could possibly be so hard about throwing a few ingredients into boiling water, right? He’d just have to wait for the ingredients to work their magic. And if they didn’t, then he’d have to trust in the mythical powers of sesame oil and salt to save the day. Or so he’d gleaned from his sisters’ numerous mishaps in the kitchen and Riza’s incredible cooking.

“... Please don’t trouble yourself, Mister Mustang.”

“Nonsense. You’re always troubling yourself for my — for our sakes,” he insisted, guiding her towards the living room. Riza opened her mouth like she was about to protest. And Roy scrambled for a better argument. Something that might work on her desire to avoid causing trouble to others at all costs, perhaps? “Think of it this way. You’ll be - um, it’ll be worse if you pass out in the middle of the kitchen while cooking.”

After a long, contemplative moment, Riza relented and stepped back hesitantly. “Try not to burn anything down.”

This was a remarkable challenge, but Roy Mustang was not one to back down from challenges. Instead he nodded, solemn. “I won’t.”

Riza nodded, settling herself on the old rocking chair by the fireplace for warmth. The evening was remarkably chilly tonight, however, and so Roy tucked his coat securely around her, ever thankful that his reclusive hermit of a teacher did not choose to grace them with his presence at that moment.

Then he scurried back into the kitchen like a mouse and began rifling through the lower compartments of the fridge.

To his dismay, Roy found the following items: corn, cabbage, and carrots. Naturally he despised them all, since they belonged to that vile, disgusting category of food known as vegetables.

But carrots. God, carrots were the worst of them all. Those malicious sticks of bright orange clearly hated him with a deep-seeded passion, and so did he. Things never turned out well whenever he was forced to work with them in the kitchen.

Unless one considered multiple cuts and band-aids ‘well’.

Still, he was determined to make Riza a decent, hearty meal tonight. (Or maybe not ‘hearty’ -- that implied that he was a good cook, which was a little ambitious. More like edible, perhaps.)

Inhaling deeply, Roy rolled up his sleeves and set about to work once he found Riza’s little recipe book. But determination soon melted into frustration after he’d chopped up cobs of corn and sliced potatoes and had to face his greatest adversary in the world: carrots.

And after a lot of groaning and grunting and wheezing, Roy somehow ended up peeling more of his own skin than the carrot’s; a feat he hadn’t even thought possible until now.

… Like he said, they really hated him.

“Damn it,” Roy cursed softly under his breath, not wanting to wake the sleeping blonde. He quickly rinsed them under running water, then rummaged through the cabinets for a box of band-aids.

Torn between mild amusement and self-pity, Roy stuck them over the numerous cuts decorating his poor fingers and sighed.

Well.

Nothing like a few lacerations to prove his gallantry, right?

Still, Riza’s fitful, shuddering frame was all the motivation he needed to conquer the menacing abomination. At least most of them were chopped up by now, even if they looked nothing like the neat wedges that Riza usually managed to cut them into.

But it was all the same in one’s stomach, he reasoned.

Mindful to not set the kitchen ablaze, Roy got back to work and began dumping everything into the pot.

~x~

By some miraculous stroke of luck, the kitchen was still intact about an hour later. Roy popped back into the living room with a wooden tray holding two bowls of vegetable soup, billowing clouds of steam curling around his face.

“Hey,” he called gently. Riza cracked an eyelid open, still semi-conscious. “I made us some soup for dinner. Think you can get up for some?”

“I - oh,” Riza mumbled. Her face fell slightly as she adjusted herself on the seat.

Roy got the nagging feeling that she was about to apologise once more for not helping.

“I mean, it’s not the best, but it tasted… edible,” he cajoled. Barely edible, actually. It’d tasted bland, sort of watery; but Roy had been too afraid to add in more salt or seasoning for fear of screwing the whole thing up entirely.

One could only hope that the cold had muffled her taste buds.

“Thank you,” she said softly. They ate together in companionable silence; metal clinking gently against ceramic as the fire crackled.

Roy resisted the urge to scrunch his face up at the blandness of it all.

Riza, on the other hand, did not appear to have any qualms about the simple fare; she made no comment on his ostensible lack of talent in the kitchen. Instead she flashed him a small, grateful smile that warmed his heart immensely.

“How are you feeling?”

“A little better, I think.” Almost inaudibly, Riza added, “Thank you. For all of this, I mean. I really appreciate it.”

Roy beamed. “It’s no problem. Like I said, you’re always doing so much for our benefit. It’s the least I can do.”

Roy got up to clear the dishes before she could, once they were done with dinner. By this point, however, Riza was clearly too tired to argue. She waited by the fireplace as he rinsed the bowls; a shivering cocoon of blankets and soft sneezes.

And like a panicked mother hen, Roy started fussing. Without warning he helped Riza up, bringing her close so that she could lean on him for support. She was dangerously warm to the touch, he realised. It seemed her fever hadn’t broken yet, and he could feel the goosebumps trailing up her skin as they walked.

“Mister Mustang,” she called feebly, flushing scarlet.

“Hm?” he asked, oblivious to the heat crawling up his own neck.

Gently, he led Riza up the stairs and guided Riza back into her room.

“Are you sure you’re alright? I can go get a doctor or something, if you need…”

It’d be hard to get one at this hour, especially out in the isolated countryside, but the boy was willing to do anything to help his friend feel better.

“N-no. I’ll be better once I get some rest, really,” she said, almost pleadingly as she nestled underneath the inviting coverlets.

Catching sight of her wide and frightened eyes, Roy instantly swallowed his earlier words. “A-alright,” he said worriedly, caught in a bit of a dilemma himself. “I’ll stay with you, then. Just rest, okay?”

Feverish and utterly enervated, Riza offered him a tiny, hesitant nod and drifted back to sleep.

~x~

For the rest of the night, Roy stayed by Riza’s side like he was holding some sort of sad, long vigil, changing the damp towel on her forehead every hour or so. But her fever did not subside. If anything, it only got worse. Delirium was starting to kick in. At some point she’d started muttering imploringly for her — mother?

Roy’s heart shattered.

How many ill, lonely nights had she endured aloneafter her mother’s passing, all because she wanted to avoid inconveniencing her negligent father? Riza was strong, yes, maybe even almost to the point of being invincible. But she was still very much a child. She was only thirteen, for heavens’ sake! Yet the girl always carried herself with an independence and maturity that far exceeded their peers’ — the sort that could only have been derived from hardship and misfortune. And Roy found himself feeling something akin to guilt and sympathy and admiration, for a girl who’d been forced to grow up far too soon because of her predicament.

Overcome by some profound, unknown emotion, Roy leaned forward and brushed her damp, matted fringe aside to press a chaste kiss on her forehead.

“Get well soon,” he murmured.

Riza fidgeted slightly. For a moment, Roy thought she was about to regain consciousness. And all of a sudden he became acutely aware of what he had done: he’d trespassed some unspoken boundary and kissedher.

Roy recoiled sharply like he’d been struck. He leaned back into his seat, running a hand over his scruffy hair and crossed his arms decisively over his chest; an exercise of self-restraint. What was he doing, anyway? Taking advantage of his friend in her sleep?

God forbid he do so! Roy had grown up learning that women were to be treated with utmost respect. The importance of chivalry had been indoctrinated in him from the time he’d learnt how to walk, and he was not about to engage in any sort of funny business. Nope. Definitely not.

(He would be lying, however, if he said Riza wasn’t adorable while she was asleep like that.)

Fortunately for him, Riza was sound asleep. She was still shivering, though, so Roy drew the blankets up and readjusted the towel on her forehead. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she rolled over on her side.

Content that he was able to bring his friend some comfort, Roy lolled back into the seat to take a short nap, not seeming to mind in the least the inevitable stiff neck that awaited him.

Beside him, Riza let out a small smile as she tugged his coat closer around herself.

#royai #royai fic #royai fanfic #young royai #yesss I'm back with my young royai corniness... sorry not sorry...#what about it!!! uwu #also Roy Mustang vs carrots L O L

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hyperionnebulae · 3 years

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A Dish From Every US State

Hey all! I want to try and make a dish from every US state (probably with a vegetarian/pescatarian spin on it) so after some Googling this is what the internet gave me from each. If you live or have lived in a US state comment to confirm or suggest your own. Or send me recipes! I looked at 5 or 6 lists so if there’s only one listed for a state I guess the collective internet is out of ideas. Also reach out if you live or have lived in Puerto Rico, Guam, the US Virgin Islands, American Samoa, or the Northern Mariana Islands; these are US territories so I’m also interested what feels unique to your island too.

Alabama- Chicken with Wine & BBQ, Cheese grits, Pecan Pie, Southern Lane Cake

Alaska- King crab, smoked salmon

Arizona- Chimichangas, Sonoran hotdog

Arkansas-Fried pickles, cheese dip, chocolate gravy

California- avocado toast, in-n-out, fish tacos with guacamole

Colorado- lamb chops, green chili ribs, beef enchiladas, rocky mountain oysters

Connecticut- white clam pizza

Delaware- fries with vinegar, scrapple, Amish apple scrapple

Florida- key lime pie, Cuban roasted pork sandwich

Georgia- boiled peanuts, peach cobbler/pie

Hawaii- shaved ice, Huli huli chicken, Loco Moco

Idaho- Jim spud baked potato, ice cream potato, huckleberry pie

Illinois- deep dish pizza

Indiana- breaded pork tenderloin sandwich, sugar cream pie

Iowa- sweet corn, stuffed pork chops

Kansas- BBQ ribs, Beef & cabbage pockets, Burnt ends

Kentucky- hot brown, fried chicken, bourbon balls

Louisiana- beignets, gumbo, crawfish

Maine- lobster roll

Maryland- steamed crabs, crab cakes

Massachusetts- clam chowder

Michigan- pasty, cherries, Coney dogs

Minnesota- hot dish, fried fish, tater tots

Mississippi- biscuits & gravy, Po’ boy sandwich

Missouri- toasted ravioli, Kansas City BBQ, Gooey Butter Cake

Montana- Huckleberry ice cream, Morel Mushroom Ravioli, Rocky Mountain Oysters

Nebraska- Tin Roof Sundae, Runza, Rueben Sandwich

Nevada- 3am Steak & Eggs, Bloody Mary

New Hampshire- Poutine, Apple Cider Donuts

New Jersey- Disco Fries, Pork Roll Sandwich, Salt Water Taffy

New Mexico- Frito Pie, Green chilis, sopaipillas

New York- Buffalo wings, bagels

North Carolina- Lexington BBQ, Fried Green Totatoes

North Dakota- Cheese buttons, bison burgers, hotdish, knoephla soup

Ohio- Cincinnati Chili, Buckeyes

Oklahoma- steak, chicken fried steak, onion burger

Oregon- Marionberry pie

Pennsylvania- Philly cheese steak

Rhode Island- coffee milk, clam cakes, stuffies

South Carolina- she-crab soup, Frogmore stew, Low country boil, sweet tea

South Dakota- lefse, rich fruit kuchens, fry bread

Tennessee- Nashville hot chicken sandwich

Texas- brisket, chili con carne

Utah- fry sauce, jello, buttermilk scones

Vermont- apple pie with cheddar, maple syrup

Virginia- peanut soup, oyster fricassee, apples

Washington- seafood chowder, latte, Rainer cherries, Pho

West Virginia- pepperoni rolls, biscuit sandwich

Wisconsin- fried cheese curds, coated walleye

Wyoming- fry bread, chicken fried steak, campfire trout, beef jerky

#america #united states of america #food #self challenge #question #comment or dm me #my post

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ogamagirl · 3 years

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📱, 📚, 🧜‍♀️, 🥜, 🎏, 🥨, 🤫, 🍴!! 😄

YAAAAY thank you D!!!!! TuT

📱 Favorite/most used app? -uuuuuh Cookie Run, probably? I go through phases with mobile games and I've been burnt out on gacha games almost entirely at this point (but I might download Higurashi Mei here soon it keeps tempting me TAT;;; ) but Cookie Run is consistently engaging with fantastic art/character designs and it's always fun to play TuT

📚Have you read any good book(s) lately? -aaaah I wish, I haven't been reading as often as I'd like to lately orz;;; the most recent book I finished that wasn't me rereading an old favorite was Axiom's End by Lindsay Ellis! V good sci fi, looking forward to the second book in the series in a couple months!

🧜‍♀️ Do you believe in mythical creatures? -I sure would like to TAT I believe in a lot of things most people don't but I'm not sure mythical creatures are one of them. I do think there are a ton of things in this world that can't be explained, so it's fun to imagine that they might be hiding out there somewhere! But I'm not sure if it's true TuT;; so I guess my answer here is, rather than believing out right, I want to believe?

🥜 Sweet, or savory? -UGGGH SO HARD! If I were to put down a list of my most favorite foods it'd be split pretty much down the middle between sweet ones and savory ones TAT I guess I have a slight preference towards sweet, but only slight! Sweet and salty is one of my favorite flavor combos so yeah, it's pretty much a mix for me xD

🎏 Do you have a favorite tradition? -Mm, I guess this is referring to a family tradition? I really like the way we put up our Christmas tree each year - we usually do it the day after Thanksgiving, and we put on Christmas music and eat snacks and goof off with each other, and it's always been a perfect way to kick off that season TuT it's changed slightly over the years since my brother and I don't live at home anymore (we're usually over there for Thanksgiving but sometimes only for the day now) but whenever we happen to put it up now it always still gives me that same warm fuzzy feeling.

🥨 Soft pretzels, or regular? -BOTH DON'T MAKE ME PICK GIVE ME ALL PRETZELS seriously hard snack pretzels are one of my favorite snacks and soft pretzels are one of my favorite indulgences (I love both regular salted soft pretzels and cinnamon sugar soft pretzelssssss) I cannot be made to pick here you will give me all of ur pretzels 💖

🤫 What’s something hardly anyone would know about you? -Uh...well everyone who's not my friend (like coworkers, etc.) thinks I'm single, so there's that |D Otherwise I don't...know? I'm fairly vocal about my interests and preferences so if you know me well I think you know most of my "trivia", so to speak? I guess there's some stuff I keep to myself, but it's all stuff I wouldn't talk about here anyway |3

🍴 Favorite food? -HHHHHH ok here's a list (can u tell I'm bad at picking "just one" for questions like this?): fries, steak, pork chops, roasted broccoli, apples, chocolate, kettle corn, chocolate-covered pretzels, balsamic-vinegar roasted potatoes, strawberries, rosemary and olive oil bread, chocolate chip cookies, balsamic vinegar roasted brussels sprouts, roasted carrots, lettuce and honey roasted almond salad.... ...ok that's probably enough |D

#asks #💖💖

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anewkaiju · 5 years

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Top Chef Los Angeles Recap: Episode 1

These are strange times. There has always been an element of the unknown to our day-to-day, but typically it's only ever discussed or thought about in terms of limitless potential and never-ending, never-ceasing possibility. Of course, there's also always been a flip side to that element of unknown. You know it. The dread-inducing one. The one no one ever wants to bring up, delve into, wrestle with, or even talk about really. It's hard to say for sure, but that may be where we are now. Or maybe it isn't, and all will be well eventually. This shit is so strange and is going to take time to figure out, but we all have to figure it out and our best chance at figuring it out is considering our community and working together. So, we got that going for us.

These are also strange times that require certain measures to be taken to keep everything hammered down and in place. Put another way, a little TV is needed in order to provide some sort of sense of stability. Put yet another way, it'll help keep shit together. Which is how, we have ended up here. For reasons that are not entirely clear to me (yet) an idea formed in front of me that this latest season of Top Chef (the 17th one) needs to be written about. So, here we are.

The first thing to note about the new season of Top Chef is that it is an All-Star season, which just means that these are all contestants who have been on the show before and have now been invited back. This raises immediate questions in my mind concerning how one becomes a Top Chef All-Star. On what basis exactly is a chef measured to make this sort of call? This doesn't feel like something we can compare to the NBA's All-Star selection process. There, they have the fans for the starters and then league coaches and members of the press vote for the reserves. So, with this cast, are we supposed to believe these are fan favorites or have these chefs been chosen because the people who watch food most closely believe them to be the best? Little of both?

One of the other things about Top Chef and watching Top Chef, at least for me, is that maybe that stuff doesn't matter. You could try to handicap this show and identify the frontrunner and the number one contender and track everyone's progress through that lens, but that grows old eventually. In my mind, the show is at its best when someone is dialed in and making what feels like the best food they've ever made in their entire life. A lot of the time this individual making what feels like the best food they've ever made is painted as the underdog, and that's fine. Watching an underdog zig and zag their way through a competition, defy the odds and then take the title makes for pretty good entertainment. It's also one of those things where there's a lot of talk about James Beard nominations and "features in Food & Wine magazine" and it all sounds really impressive, but what do those accolades actually mean, and more importantly for our purposes, what do those accolades mean for TV? Where's your resume when you're cooking in the snow on the side of a mountain? Also, what does pedigree matter when so often on this show the judges slam someone for cutting corners or ignoring fundamentals? It's also important to note that I know almost nothing about food aside from what I have discerned from watching this show.

How food is thought about and talked about on TV and the internet has changed considerably over the last few years. In the early to mid 2000s, 'good cooking' was more often than not presented and defined as all about splashy presentation, style and a million other things going on at once. The term "celebrity chef" originated around this time to describe someone who is now famous because they cook. Your signature could just be a wild looking plate. This isn't meant to put down food artists, but perhaps some passes were given that shouldn't have been. It's like if you could talk it up enough and find the right wrapping for it then, magically, no questions are asked and what you are putting out into the world doesn't have to be fact or quality checked. This all works on the timeline too as this was also a period in history were there lots of bad rappers at the top (50 Cent, Ja Rule, etc) and the NBA was mired in this weird post-Jordan funk.

It's almost as if things had to pivot back in on itself. These days, simplicity is celebrated. Or maybe it has always been essential and I am just dumb. Either way, let's call this foggy idea the Chef's Table Effect. Now, with chefs, you want to know about their approach to food and what their mindset is like. We want to know how they look at food and how they get it. We want to learn about real, living, breathing chefs and not just be told about someone who is now famous because they cook. In early seasons of Top Chef, there were more personalties, people who just wanted to rub elbows with celebrities and put their names on restaurants. Over time, that has subsided some and when it does happen it comes across as much more transparent. The good chefs emerge no matter what. Their personalties reveal themselves in their own time (call this the Kawhi effect if you must,) and because they are making 'good' food it's all that much more enjoyable/rewarding to watch. We are in this time where food is considered in more serious terms, and as a result, we get more grounded, thoughtful food TV programming. I like to think of it as more of an actual uprising. Everyone collectively all at once had one too many exploding shrimp cocktails bathed in brandy and bedded in dry ice and began asking questions about what we are doing here exactly. With that in mind,

The episode itself was fairly straight-forward. The chefs show up. They are asked to do a mise en place, which is like a prep work drill essentially but since this is a competition show there's a real emphasis on speed and accuracy. There were artichokes, oranges and almonds, and it was explained, that the first five chefs to break down their artichokes would form a team and be allowed to leave for a kitchen right away. When this happens, all remaining chefs would stop with whatever artichoke business they may have left and shift their attention to the oranges. Once five chefs had handled their oranges sufficiently they would then become the second team and then be allowed to head for the kitchen. Everyone left with the almonds would take on the mantle of the third team, and be allowed to move to the kitchen once they were all finished. This opening challenge served mostly as a shakeout session to get things moving and for viewers at home to see if anyone is trying out a new style, whether it be a cooking flourish or a new haircut.

After the mad dash mise en place, the chefs are once again sorted into teams, although, this time around, they go into five teams of three as opposed to three teams of five. For the main challenge of this episode, each team has been asked to make a cohesive, family-style seafood meal over a single open flame and an open flame only for a table of esteemed, established chefs and cuisine writers.

here is what they presented:

Melissa: Grilled Swordfish with hot & sour sauce, ember grilled radicchio and fresno chiles

Karen: Grilled scallops, gingered plums, nuoc cham and nappa cabbage slaw

Angelo: West coast oyster with smoked bacon rice porridge

Bryan: Sea urchin, spot prawns with hibiscus ponzu and burnt avocado

Joe: Sesame and semolina flatbread with clams, fried garlic, sea urchin, pickled peppers and miso parmesan aioli

Lee Anne: Shoyu Tare Glazed Halibut with charred sweet corn and cabbage, sea urchin and uni miso beurre blanc

Gregory: Charred salmon with grilled peaches and roasted chili dressing

Jamie: Steamed mussels with ember scaled cream and toasted bread

Stephanie: Brined prawn with charred tomato sauce and roasted corn dressing

Jennifer: Spiced tuna loin over grilled kale with red pepper tahini sauce

Nini: Grilled scallops, carrots, tomatoes with charred brussels sprout & fennel salad

Kevin: Eye of swordfish braised in chorizo with coal-roasted onion, olives and peas

Lisa: Charred shrimp and scallop ceviche with candied squash, mushrooms and avocado

Bryan V.: Sablefish with corn porridge and charred leeks

Eric: Chesapeake boil with grilled prawn

It's striking looking at all of these dishes written out. Granted, this is being written from a position of hindsight, but it's so clear which dishes were a hit and which were not. Again, I'm not very bright so this isn't a food know-how thing. It's just a words thing. The most composed, concise dishes were the ones that elicited acclaim. This should maybe be a working rule. If the description of your dish runs over a line long, then you might be in trouble. (You might be looking at Lisa's dish and noticing that it runs over, but it's just barely. She's a great chef who is being oddly slept-on already. She went all the way to the final in her season and has a very no nonsense, quiet drive.)

Anyway, the judges loved Gregory, Jamie and Stephanie's meal with Gregory taking the overall win. Joe, Lee Anne and Bryan had far and away the least liked dish. The challenge called for a family-style meal, indicating that everything will end up on the same plate, so the two sauces made that one flatbread mad soggy. Joe went home for it. (Lee Anne ran into some issues on the grill, but these things happen and Padma said there was a lot to like about her dish. Lee Anne was also on the very first season of Top Chef and the last time anyone saw her was a few seasons back when she surprise-returned. In that episode, the challenge was to cook over an open flame in four feet of snow on the side of a Colorado mountain. Lee Anne was four months pregnant. After she knocked out her dish, she seemingly achieved clarity and announced to everyone that she was going home to prepare for the birth of her child.)

For whatever reason, it tends to take a few episodes before the show really starts moving. There will probably be a few more wild-sounding challenges under even more wild-sounding circumstances. Based off of the "this season on Top Chef" tease shown at the end of the episode, the competitors visit at least one museum and at least one stadium. The official title of this season is Top Chef: Los Angeles which would suggest that everything will be contained to the city of Los Angeles as opposed to the entire state.

There was also a moment in the tease where actor Danny Trejo, star of Machete, Machete Kills and the forever-stuck-in-development Machete In Space, can clearly be seen visiting the Top Chef kitchen which is wildly encouraging.

#bravo #tv #top chef #recap #review #writing

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foodies-channel · 5 years

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[I ate] plant-based burnt ends and fried corn bread.

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delightfully-ella · 5 years

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Did you get sides as well?

It had corn and frickles (fried pickles) which I think was my favourite part of it! It was ok, the burnt ends were pretty good the brisket wasn't anything to shout about. But I don't think any of it was close to as good as it can be. Us Brits just don't know what we are doing.

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missguomeiyun · 5 years

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dinner @ Gyu Kaku

Had dinner @ Gyu Kaku on Jasper Ave last night for my friend, Mike’s birthday.

Gyu Kaku is a global franchise for Japanese BBQ. This Jasper Ave location is the only one in Edmonton so far, & it opened this summer. This meal marked my 1st visit here!

Interior. I didn’t expect the restaurant to have 2 floors. Being right next to Dagu Rice Noodles, I was expecting a similar layout/design - 1 floor only. That being said, it wasn’t a full 2 floors bcos the upper level was about half the size of the main floor. So the style was more like a loft.

The thing is.. . even thought the main floor had 2x the area of the upper level, the useable seating space was similar bcos a large portion of the main floor was dedicated to the bar. There were some chairs for seating around the bar but not many.

We got the end table upstairs bcos the reservation was for 12 ppl. This was the largest table they had, & I would say .. it can comfortably seat 14.

View from the corner of our table- you can see the bar as well as some tables.

My view. This was the entire second floor: a handful of tables, with a staff desk.

The menu~

I didn’t take photos of each page but their menu is online & easily accessible. I didn’t see any difference as I was flipping through. In addition to BBQ, they have regular dishes you can order as well. The variety of items was decent.

On the table was a stand-up flip menu of their specials. The above is the family dinner for 8.

We were a party of 10, so we ended up with this Matsuri Course for 10 ppl. It was recommended to us by our server, & we went with her recommendation. I didn’t get photos of everything bcos our table was long & I was busy catching up.. . but I managed to get *most* of them :P

The salad. I really liked the salad for the dressing. I’ve been doing salads without dressing these days (personal preference/choice); the dressing they used here was light & slightly sweet. It was rather appetizing~

We’ve got.. . a little corner of the gyozas, edamame, chicken karaage, & a cabbage slaw that I didn’t even try.

Gyozas were *mehh.. Personal preference thing: I like my gyozas to have some texture to it but the filling & the wrapper just kinda all.. . became one & the exterior wasn’t crisp.

Edamame: I did not have one.

Chicken karaage: it was fair; it wasn’t great but it wasn’t bad. Fried chicken is fried chicken haha hard to mess up.

Beef garlic noodles. Where was the beef?! I liked it for “garlic noodles”. The flavour was excellent (garlicy & savoury) & the noodle texture was a bit chewy. It was served in a stone bowl (the kind you get for bibimbap) so some strands of noodles had the semi-burnt/crispy texture to it. Loved that! I was actually order this if we weren’t doing the family-style dinner. Glad these noodles was a part of it so that I could try it! This was my fav from everything we had last night.

The beef bibimbap. This was alright. The texture reminded me of the clay pot-cooked rice you get from certain Chinese restaurants. The flavour was blander than I had anticipated given the colour was kind of dark-ish. I was indifferent about this.

The meats. I couldn’t tell what was what after a while. Not bcos I was awkwardly sitting between the 2 grills (so I was being fed the entire evening lol) but things just started tasting the same. If you go back to the menu, you’ll notice that the meats are marinated differently. The only difference I could tell was the meat type (beef vs pork vs chicken) - the taste was just all.. . blending in! They have 3 sauces on the table (sweet soy, ponzu, & chili) & individual sauce holder/dishes, but tbh, it was not needed bcos everything had flavour to it - sadly, the same flavour =/ It was good but it felt too much for me. I’d rather have unmarinated meat & flavour accordingly/try out diff sauces than everything pre-marinated.

The grill. The grill is different than K-BBQ, which is what I’m more familiar with. I can’t say I prefer one over the other bcos both fulfill their purpose of cooking meat. Our server told us numerical values for how many seconds we should cook each slice of meat lol I actually missed the 1st part of the instructions & I caught “this plate is 45. These two are .. [insert another number]”.. . I asked my friends what she was talking about after, & they were like, “the cooking time for each cut/meat type”. I don’t know. .. but it’s fairly easy to tell if something is ready or not =/ not sure if makes a difference. But that’s the info we were given.

My drink: the 50/50 (sake + plum wine). It was alright. I don’t know much about sake / Japanese plum wine. For myself, I was indifferent. I didn’t think it was good but it was refreshing.

*Not in photos = the veggies. It was almost in equal amounts of the meats: zucchini, eggplant, corn, red bell pepper. The garlic mushrooms were good but . .. overall, was expecting more meat in comparison for $300.

In all honesty, I was ok about this meal. I enjoyed the company & service. The meats were good & over marinated, in my opinion (again, personal preference), & my fav “side” of the beef garlic noodles! Come to think of it, it has Shanghai noodle vibes, if you know what I mean.

Do I prefer this or K-bbq? At Baekjeong several months, I had K-bbq with the same group of ppl & also ordered a large family-style combo. & the price was comparable. But from the most bang from your buck perspective, Baekjeong>Gyu. The quality of meats was also comparable but I liked the preparation of the meat at Baekjeong as it gave the opportunity to experiment with diff sauces & condiments. *shrugs* that’s how I feel. If I were to choose between the two shared combos: Baekjeong.

#YEGfood #japanese food #japanese bbq #food #dinner #friends #sunday dinner

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obeourbigescape · 2 years

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New Post has been published on https://ourbigescape.com/20-traditional-paraguayan-recipes/

20 Great Traditional Paraguayan Recipes (2022)

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Traditional Paraguayan Recipes and most South American food is celebrated for its solid Latin profile, and flavors fall beautifully on your tongue and rely heavily on spices like cumin, ancho chilies, and garlic. The overall cuisine focuses on an almost smoky flavor.

Jump to The Latin Influence Jump to The History of Food From Paraguay Jump to Old Style Paraguay Cooking and Food Jump to Modern and Traditional Paraguayan Cooking Melt Together Jump to 20 Great Traditional Paraguayan Recipes

The Latin Influence

When you say the words Latin cuisine, Paraguay is not the first county you might name. However, traditional Paraguayan food and it’s cuisine is making a splash in countries worldwide, including New York and London, although they will never surpass the flavor traditional to its land.

Traditional Paraguay food is a departure from dishes that dominate the rest of the country. Besides meat and vegetables, they use ingredients like manioc and corn.

One surprising dish is Sopa Paraguaya (Paraguayan soup) which is not a traditional soup. This dish is similar to cornbread mixed with cheese, eggs, and milk. It’s one meal the country often eats for lunch or dinner.

Bagels aren’t native to New York. Paraguay has a version called Chipa. Although, it is made with Yuca Starch and aniseed. It is usually accompanied by a Terere, a cold-brewed tea that Paraguayans consume like Americans consume coffee.

Most traditional Paraguayan food items rely on staples made of eggs and cheese, a complete departure from traditional Latin food. Yet, their cuisine should not be overlooked when sampling foods throughout the world.

The History of Food From Paraguay

Paraguay’s national dish, Sopa Paraguaya, started as a mistake in the 19th century. A Machu (chef) attempted to make soup and added too much cornmeal, ending with bread. When she served it to the president, he was so impressed he served it to other ambassadors. Francisco Solano Lopez honored his father by keeping the dish a staple at state dinners.

Although the name stuck, anyone unfamiliar with this dish will not get what they think they are ordering. Sopa Paraguaya resembles cornbread baked in leftover fat from roast chicken, a cousin to Yorkshire pudding. It is similar to another Paraguay dish, Chipa Guazu, which uses fresh corn and is similar to a souffle and not a delicious accident.

The native Guarani relied on corn and flour in their dishes. They were typically prepared by wrapping guembe (banana leaves) and roasting them on an open fire. The Spaniards added staples like eggs, milk, and cheese, resulting in Sopa Paraguaya.

Old Style Paraguay Cooking and Food

Traditional Paraguayan food only used several ingredients native to the country; Maiz and Mandioca (yucca root), adding a flavor profile that relies on garlic, cumin, tomato, onion, and green peppers. Many Paraguay natives raise cattle, chicken, pork, and even freshwater fish, making traditional cuisine full of protein.

Aside from Sopa Paraguaya, there are many traditional Paraguayan recipes to try. Mbeju is another unique cheese dish made during cooler months. Much like other dishes, it relies on corn, milk, and oil. Pieces are deep-fried in a cast-iron skillet. Alongside is Cocido Paraguayo, tea made from burnt yerba mate.

Marinera and Milanesa are similar dishes; the only difference is cumin and egg batter added to bread crumbs. Milanessa is served several different ways, depending on the time of day. It is the base for various meats, including meat or chicken, pounded thin and seasoned with lemon, oregano, garlic, and salt. After seasoning, it is fried.

Empanadas are another traditional Paraguayan recipe perfected by locals. Typically they have a protein seasoned with cumin, peppers, and onions. Most natives prefer ham and cheese, a western favorite. However, fillings are varied and typically fried or baked by street vendors.

Pastel Mandi’o is a lighter version of traditional Empanada. The dough is made from yuca root. The filling is always and featured on winter menus.

One of the biggest standouts in traditional Paraguayan recipes is Tallarain Paraguayo, Paraguay Thick noodles. The sauce is bone-in beef or chicken browned in tomato sauce. Laurel gives this dish a unique flavor profile.

Paraguay remains rural. Much of their cuisine relies on products grown on farms native to the country. Kumada Peky Kesu is an example of this traditional style of Paraguay food. Red beans called portoto San Francisco are abundant and make an excellent stew. This dish is a tomato vegetable broth seasoned with garlic onions, green peppers, squash, and traditional Paraguayan cheese. For a variation, pasta might be added as starch.

Gallina Casera is another traditional Paraguayan food recipe steeped in Paraguay’s rural culture. When this dish is made, it’s out of a fresh hen stewed in a broth rich in oregano tomato, garlic, and scallions.

Desserts are another example of Paraguay’s rustic offerings. Dulce de Mamon is made from Papayas which grow abundantly, harvested before they are ripe. Slices are soaked in sugar and lemon, creating a candy.

Sugar is one of Paraguay’s natural resources, well used in the country’s desserts. Torta de Miel Negra relies heavily on the bi-product of sugar, molasses. The desert is similar to dessert bread.

Modern and Traditional Paraguayan Cooking Melt Together

Since traditional Paraguayan food does not enjoy the same renown as other popular South American countries, it hasn’t done as much to modernize its style of food. Several restaurants have given it an update.

Asucion (fruit of the platonia tree) wants to change that. Their restaurant relies heavily on the traditional offerings of the country’s food. Yet, they add modern differences like chick peopa flour and sourdough bread to tomato mandicoa. After it is caramelized on open flame, they top it with miel de cana, similar to sugarcane honey. Much like their appetizers and main courses, their deserts stay true to Paraguay’s traditional cuisine.

Another reimagining from is Paraguay is the famous sopa paraguaya. They cook it like the chef who made the legendary mistake. However, it has a smoother feel aside from a crispy outside crust, made out of the polenta. One additional note is that this version doesn’t rely on animal fat, and the dish is vegetarian. Each of the restaurant’s dishes relies on the country’s native resources. Yet, they alter the ingredients and plate with a contemporary feel.

20 Great Traditional Paraguayan Recipes

8 Great Traditional Paraguayan Main Course Recipes

1. Bife Koygua

Bife Koygua is a beef stew from Paraguay made with beef steak, onion, tomato, and spices. The traditional Paraguayan food is an example of a typical meat stew made in the landlocked South American country, with a cuisine heavy in maize, manioc, meat, vegetables, and fruit. Bife Koygua is a simple dish that takes 30 minutes or less to make and is packed full of the bold, vibrant flavors of Paraguay.

2. Chicken Soup & Ricotta Dumplings

A popular dish in Paraguayan gastronomy, vori vori are small, cornmeal flour and ricotta dumplings cooked in a rich chicken broth.

3. Chupín de Pescado

Made with chunks of firm white fish and potatoes, plus tomatoes, bell peppers, white wine, and aromatics, chupín de pescado (or el chupín, as it’s also known) is an traditional Paraguayan recipe for fish stew that’s typical of the north-western regions along the coast.

Chupín comes from the Ligurian dialect word, ciuppin, meaning, “chopped into pieces”. Pescado is the Spanish word for fish.

4. Paraguayan Bori Bori

Every country has a version of their own homemade soup that makes them feel at home, and in Paraguay it is a traditional Paraguayan food called Bori Bori. But there’s something special in the soup, too. This hearty chicken soup has cornmeal and cheese balls in the middle to keep people warm in the most freezing months. Bori Bori has a rich, creamy flavor. The cheeseballs have a sharp, lingering taste complimented by the spices in the stew itself.

You May Also Like: 20 Great Traditional Peruvian Recipes (2022)

5. Paraguayan Vegan Pira Caldo

Vegan Pira Caldo, a vegan take on a traditional Paraguayan recipe for fish soup. Made with hearts of palm and vegetables in an aromatic coconut milk broth. Finished off with vegan cheese and fresh coriander. Traditionally Pira Caldo is made with river fish, milk and soft white cheese. To veganize it we used hearts of palm. Its delicate texture and taste work great as a replacement for fish.

The flavour of coconut milk works well with the other ingredients. The cheese is harder to replicate as plant-based cheese tends to dissolve into the soup too quickly. We found adding some vegan feta when serving gets the best results.

6. Bife Koygua Or Paraguayan Beef Stew

Bife Koygua is a traditional Paraguayan recipe for beef stew that is loved throughout the country. There is often a big pot brewing as part of their famous asado’s. This is a perfect example of how simple ingredients speak volumes. The egg on top is simple delicious and an integral part of this stew. It cooks up in a hurry so it can be made for both a special occasion or weeknight meal.

7. Paraguayan Beef Milanesa

This easy beef milanesa is an easy traditional Paraguayan recipe made in 25 minutes and is family friendly. It’s crisp on the outside and softer on the inside. It honestly reminds me of chicken fried steak without the gravy or Japanese Katsu. My kids love this Milanesa steak traditional Paraguayan recipe so much! Best of all it doesn’t break the bank.

8. Paraguayan Lampreado

Lampreado, aka payagua mascada, are fried patties consisting of ground beef, mashed cassava, and lots of green onions. The ingredients are turned into a dough, formed into patties, dredged in flour, then fried until golden brown. The lampreado can be served as an appetizer or as a main course with a salad.

You May Also Like: 25 Unbelievable Bolivian Food Traditions & Recipes

4 Great Traditional Paraguayan Side Dish Recipes

9. Chipa Guasu

The chipa guazú is an ideal preparation to accompany various dishes of traditional Paraguayan recipe food, for example a roast, a milanesa or some delicious noodles. This traditional Paraguayan recipe, like some others from Paraguay, is also consumed and prepared in northwestern Argentina.

The chipa guazú, which is also usually written as ‘chipa guasu’, is a kind of cake that has an appearance and preparation very similar to the Paraguayan soup, but with the difference that instead of corn flour, tender corn is used for its preparation.

10. Paraguayan Squash Polenta-Kivevé

This comforting traditional Paraguayan recipe for the side dish has the texture of thick, creamy polenta. Corn is a mainstay in the Paraguayan diet and is even used in desserts. Because it has both sweet and savory ingredients, this is often served alongside meats or as a dessert. The word kivevé means “reddish” in the native Guarani language. The traditional pumpkin used in this dish is the deep-orange-colored andaí, hence the name.

11. Paraguayan Rice Salad

Paraguayan rice salad or ensalada de arroz is a refreshing side dish made with bright, zesty flavors and fresh veggies. Perfect traditional Paraguayan recipe for any time of the year.

Pollerías in Paraguay are street stalls that sell roasted chicken. In our town you can drive on the main street and see stacks of chickens skewered on a spit and rotated over an open fire.

These places sell chicken with boiled cassava roots, and rice salad.

12. Paraguayan Cheese & Onion Cornbread

This unique cheese and onion cornbread from Paraguay consists of corn flour, eggs, milk, cheese, and onion and comes together easily and quickly. It’s a gluten-free spongy cake, traditionally called sopa paraguaya, which translates to Paraguayan soup.

You May Also Like: 21 Favorite Traditional Brazilian Recipes

4 Great Traditional Paraguayan Drink Recipes

13. Mate Cocido

A convenient way of making an easy, practical, and delicious Paraguayan Mate Cocido. This Mate Cocido traditional Paraguayan recipe calls for only 3 ingredients: white sugar, plain yerba mate, and hot water.

14. Tereré

Tereré, commonly known as ‘iced herbal tea’ is the national drink of Paraguay, South America. This refreshing drink is prepared from dried leaves and twigs of the ilex paraguariensis tree.

These leaves, simply called yerba mate, are then used to make the hot yerba mate tea as well as the terere. The only difference between terere and hot yerba mate tea is that ice cold water is used for terere.

15. Carrulim

A traditional Paraguayan recipe for Carrulim made of Sugar Cane Spirit and infused with lime, honey, and rue, it is believed that this herby drink wards off illnesses and drive away evil.

Carrulim is an ancient natural remedy from Paraguay, a potent drink that contains Sugar Cane Spirit (Caña Blanca), rue (a herb), and lime.

16. Clericó

Clericó is a traditional Paraguayan food like fruit cocktail drink that can not be missed at a Paraguayan Christmas table. It’s prepared from a mix of red wine and fruits. You can also prepare this delicious concoction with white wine, cider, sparkling wine or natural fruit juices for the little ones.

You May Also Like: 30 Best Chilean Recipes Using Traditional Food from Chile

4 Great Traditional Paraguayan Dessert Recipes

17. Mazamorra

Learn how to prepare a delicious and refreshing Mazamorra, one of the most traditional desserts of Paraguay with this simple and easy traditional Paraguayan recipe. The mazamorra is a traditional sweet in the Guarani culture, it is refreshing and nutritious, since it is made from locro. Its preparation is simple and it will be a delicious dessert.

18. Dulce de Mamón

Directly from the cuisine of northeastern Paraguay and Argentina comes this dessert traditional Paraguayan recipe made with mamón – the regional name for papaya. This is a traditional Paraguayan recipe in which, using few ingredients, you can create a delicious syrupy-sweet dessert that will appeal to both young and old alike.

19. Pastafrola

Try this Pastafrola traditional Paraguayan recipe! This quince paste tart is a classic for tea time in Argentina, Uruguay and Paraguay. Enjoy it at home with a hot cup of Mate! Pasta frola is a wonderful dessert made with a cookie-like shortbread crust and dulce de membrillo (quince paste) filling. Pasta frola is another example of the influence of Italian food on Argentinian and Uruguayan cuisine—its name comes from the Italian word for the shortbread crust, pasta frola, that is used to make Italian crostate (jam pies).

20. Kosereva

Kosereva is a traditional Paraguayan sweet dessert from Paraguay made of apepu sour orange peels, sugar, and molasses. The preserved orange rings are a mixture of sweet and sour, and are typically served by themselves or with a side of soft cheese.

Kosereva has a long history that dates back to Spanish colonization of the Paraguayan region, when the conquistadors preserved citrus fruit on their long journey across the ocean by cooking fruit in trimmed barrels with black molasses. This practice of preserving fruit helped to combat scurvy, a disease resulting from low vitamin C, known as the “sailor’s disease” due to its high incidence in sailors without access to fresh fruit and vegetables.

Check Out Our Pictures On Our Instagram – Our Big Escape.

You May Want to Join Our Boondocking Group on Facebook For More Information

Check Out Our Recipes On Our Instagram – World Recipes OBE

You May Want to Join Our Campfire Recipes Group on Facebook For More Information

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davidhesseauthor-blog · 6 years

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The Melon Farm

Finally The Conclusion To - The Goat-Man And Why Some People Shouldn’t Be Allowed To Spawn

Otis Melon was bent over a rabbit hutch, feeding about one hundred rabbits. He stood up and turned as Zippy Doo and Max Fly approached. He was a bulky, barrel-chested man of about 30 years of age, hunched over with a broad forehead and pallid chalk-like pitted skin. Red blotches on his cheeks contrasted with the patchwork of blue colored veins that crisscrossed along the length of his orbicular nose. His close-set eyes were shaded by thick bristling eyebrows. Protruding out of his long, stringy, nut-brown hair over each ear, were what appeared to be two huge bumps that easily could be mistaken for horns especially at a distance.

Otis “Melonhead” Melon - An Alabama Savant

His hair was plastered against his face by rivulets of muddy sweat that ran down his cheeks. He was wearing a filthy pair of blue jeans and his brown shoes were coated in fresh cow biscuits. His white sweat stained t-shirt had an Auburn University logo printed in navy and orange on the pocket where a half-empty package of RedMan Chewing Tobacco poked out. Next to him stood an attractive, elderly woman with long gray hair braided in one long braid that trailed down the center of her back to the middle of her posterior. She was wearing a light blue cotton dress, a blue and white apron, and a pair of pink muck boots adorned with pictures of Mickey Mouse and Donald Duck.

Otis nodded and grinned as Max and Zippy Doo approached, exposing brown stained teeth.

Zippy turned to Max and whispered, “He does have kind of a putrid essence to him, doesn’t he? He smells like the outhouse door on a shrimp boat.”

“What can I do for you boys?” Otis asked as he picked at his nose and wiped his hand on the leg of his filthy coveralls.

“Are you Otis Melon?” Max asked.

“That’s right. And this is my mama, Bernice Melon.”

Bernice “Mama” Melom

“I’m Max Fly and this is my partner, Zippy Doo. We are private investigators looking into alleged sightings of a monster that some believe to be the long sought-after Goat-Man. May we ask you a few questions?”

“Go right ahead just so long as you don’t wake my rabbits.”

“Okay, Max replied, looking at the herd of rabbits milling around inside the hutch.“A couple of boys said they saw someone that resembled you climbing up the mountain to play with a herd of goats. By any chance, could that have been you?”

“You must be referring to that Cooter Johnson and Fim Fudge. I saw ol’ Cooter and Fim up there watching me. What I do is none of their business. I stared back until those ol’ boys disappeared like a cork on a fishin’ line.”

“Don’t you pay no attention to what those two boys say. They are so dumb, they don’t know sheep shit from cottonseed,” Bernice Melon interjected. “They dropped out of the eighth grade and have been sittin’ around like a couple of bumps on a log ever since. If stupid could fly, both those boys would be jets.”

“I see,” Max replied, shaking his head. “Otis, by any chance, do you own a goat suit?”

“I do. My mama made me one, didn’t you, mama? If y’all wanna see it, you’ll have to ask Shirley Smelley over in Slap Ankle. She lives on Watermelon Road, ‘bout 5 miles from here across the Black Gnat River jist ‘fore you git to Hog Jaw. She’s slightly burned out, but still smokin’ hot,” Otis said with what could pass as a leer. “I lent it to her to wear for the fall Yell-Off in Lick Lizard next week.”

“What’s a Yell-Off?” Zippy asked as he picked a wet piece of cow biscuit off his pant cuff.

“That’s where all them folks with a big mouth try to yell-off louder than Chief Shinbone the old Creek Indian Chief did back in the day. Stella Blitzki won it last year. Shirley thought it was rigged ‘cause ol’ Hayward Connor was doin’ the judgin’ and everyone knows Hayward is sweet on Shirley; has been since they was attending Lick Lizard Elementary School. Haywood won’t be doin’ no judgin’ this year. He’s holed up in the Farquhar Cattle Ranch on a work-release program. He don’t get released until next year so Shirley thinks she has the best chance of winning that trophy from Stella this year plus the grand prize, a $10 gift certificate from the Lord of The Fries Restaurant over in Devil’s Holler.”

“Chief Shinbone?” Zippy asked. He was beginning to find it difficult to follow Otis’s train of thought.

“The Chief was a Creek Indian back in the 1800’s,” Bernice interjected. “He lived in what folks now call Shinbone Valley. They claim he could yell so loud folks all the way in Fort Payne could hear him. Claim he had one brown eye and blue eye.”

“Yeah, he weren’t no cigar store Indian, that’s for sure,” Otis said, between bites of his sandwich.

“What do you have in that sandwich, Otis?” Zippy asked.

“Oh, it’s somethin’ my mama makes special for me. It’s goat cheese and coyote meat covered in coon fat gravy.”

“Otis here ain’t no Goat-Man,” Bernice continued, “If anything he’s a Rabbit-Man.

Otis has a photographic memory and in some incomprehensible way he must have picked up the secrets of sequential numbering all by hisself. It’s so beautiful, so precise. His mind shines with a light from another world.”

“What shines from another world?” Zippy asked while scraping more fresh cow biscuit from the bottom of his Cole Hahn loafer while still eyeing Otis’ sandwich.

“His mind. He’s been studying the Fibonacci sequence. That’s where every number is the sum of the preceding two. Somewhere he got his hands on Leonardo Pisano Fibonacci’s book, who is also known as Leonard of Pisa, by Papa John and Luigi Petrocelli, the proprietor of Luigi’s Pizza Parlor and Disco over in Slap Ankle. The name of the book is Liber Abaci. Have you read it? It is a fascinating read, by the way.

Otis watches his rabbits breed. It appeals to his sense of mathematical order. He even has an understanding of axonometry.”

“Axo…? Zippy stuttered.

Max lifted his hand and said, “Never mind Zip.”

Bernice pointed at Otis who sat with a concentrated expression next to the rabbit hutch still eating his sandwich and said, “See? He’s about to say something grown-up wise. Go ahead, Otis, say something.”

“Did you know that rabbits are naturally social and live in groups, Mr. Fly?” Otis said.

“No I don’t. I guess that one slipped by me.”

“They are and rabbits reach sexual maturity after one month and their gestation period is one month. After reaching sexual maturity, female rabbits give birth every month. I know’d ‘cause I watched them.

A female rabbit gives birth to one male rabbit and one female rabbit.

If you put a male and female rabbit in a hutch, how many pairs of rabbits can be produced from that pair in a year if each month each pair begets a new pair and the rabbits don’t die?”

“I don’t know, but that’s fascinating, Otis,” Zippy replied, flicking more fresh cow biscuit from his pant cuff.

“Otis surely isn’t this Goat-Man or monster you are looking for,” Bernice continued. “Otis is a savant, a genius! When he finishes his chores which consist of shoveling cow biscuits and milking goats, he documents these rabbits breeding and using the Fibonacci sequence, he predicts how many rabbits he will have by the end of the year. Every year now for the last ten years he has been exactly right, ‘cept the time a couple of coyotes got into the hutch and ate half the herd. That were a bad year, weren’t it, Otis?”

“It was mama, but I got them coyotes, didn’t I?”

“You sure did son.

How many farmers in rural Alabama know of the Fibonacci sequence, Mr. Fly? Not many. In fact, not many people in the United States know of Leonardo Pisano Fibonacci.”

Leonardo Fibonacci A.K.A. Leonardo D’Pisa - Famous Mathematician

“I think we should be going now,” Max replied, grabbing Zippy Doo by the arm and dragging him away from the rabbit hutch. Thank you for your time.”

“Did you see that black and white rabbit, Max? She is real cute.”

“How do you know it’s a she, Zip.”

Otis accompanied them around the barn to their car, only Otis didn’t bother to navigate around the piles of cow biscuits.

“That’s mighty nice,” Otis said pointing in the direction of the Flymobile and Max’s rifle. “Where’d you get that thing?”

“It’s a Pre-64 Model 1970 Winchester. A collector’s item.”

“I was talking about your car. It sure is ugly What kind is it?”

“It’s a 1958 Oldsmobile 98 Jetaway with Hydra-Matic drive and a 394 cubic inch engine. It’s got electric windows.”

“Nice. Does it have air?”

“Only in the tires,” Zippy replied. “Let’s go, Max. It’s getting late.”

Otis waved as they drove down the dirt road back to highway 24 heading back to Burnt Corn. They heard Cletus yell out, “Y’all drive safe now, ya yeah?” Francis the coon dog didn’t move. He was either sleeping or passed out.

“How much did you pay for that Winchester Rifle, Max?” Zippy asked.

“A little over two grand. As I said, it’s a collector’s gun. Every year it has gone up in price.”

“Where do you store an expensive rifle like that when you aren’t using it?”

“I keep it in a Kade Realtree double-sided foam padded rifle case made of a durable 1200D waterproof material that protects it against rain and wet conditions. The case is specifically designed for scoped rifles.

CX901RC Kade Realtree Xtra Scoped Rifle Case

“Sweet, man, I might have to get one,” Zippy replied.

“You don’t have a rifle, Zip, but they do have a nice case that would fit your .357 Smith and Wesson revolver. Check it out at iadconcepts.com. They have a complete line of ammo bags as well.”

As they pulled onto highway 84 a few miles out of Burnt Corn, Zippy said, “We did it, Max, we solved that Goat-Man mystery, didn’t we?”

“Not so fast, Zippy. We solved this sighting of what was thought to be the Goat-Man. There very well could be a real Goat-Man out there someplace terrorizing innocent people; people just like the folks in Devil’s Holler and Burnt Corn Alabama. We don’t know. We just don’t know. We will have to continue to stay alert for any sightings reported from around the world and periodically check in with Liz Tureen, the Daily Gazette’s investigative reporter. She’s connected to all the news services. But this is what we do, Zip, we are here to protect the good people of Burnt Corn and the neighboring towns here in Alabama.

“I’m hungry,” Zippy said. “Let’s stop at that new eatin’ place that opened in Ankle Scratch. Its called the Smut Eye Grocery, Bait and Fine Dining place. They were advertising on the inside wall of that porta-potty that’s located alongside the highway at the new Burnt Corn Mall and Auto Auction. Wanda said she stopped in one day when nature gave her a call and she couldn’t make it to the office. She said they make a shrimp flavored crack at the Smut Eye that’s to die for.”

Shrimp Flavored Crack - Smut Eye Grocery, Bait & Fine Dining’s Weekly Special

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