#Could you imagine if like the adventure zone got a show for the balance arc

[stardustedknuckles]

Oh man I didn't realize until literally just now that Vox Machina is the definitive first commercially successful dnd based show. There's no other dnd phenomenon that's come out this way. This could be the start of so much to come - for them and maybe even for some of the other ttrpg shows that have swept through popular culture these past few years.

[macromicrocosm]

Novel Review: Automatic Reload by Ferrett Steinmetz

Hei Hei and Welcome to MacroMicroCosm Literary Review…

Novel: Automatic Reload Author: Ferrett Steinmetz Publisher: TOR Books (2020) Rating: 4/5 Stars

Today we are diving cautious as a paranoid quadruple amputee cyborg into the cyberpunk romantic kill zone known as Ferrett Steinmetz’s Automatic Reload published in 2020 by Tor Books. Strap into something, prepare your payloads and it’s time to dive in.

I borrowed Automatic Reload’s audiobook from my municipal library’s Libby app, and will be critiquing the audiobook narration by Tim Campbell via Macmillan Audio with Steinmetz’ prose. Tim Campbell’s narration hit my auditory nerves with the same grit as a Private Eye in my spouse’s beloved old radio shows. Instantaneously, I was brought back to The Shadow, and Red Panda Adventures. Mat’s internal narration was made vivid with Campbell’s grit. All goes as expected for a guttural masculine-led audiobook… until Campbell narrates female characters. The grit and gruff voice of our narrator and protagonist Mat (whose name I missed completely for the first few hours of audio storytelling), shifted to a nasal ‘quasi-feminine whine’ each a tad different for the few feminine characters in the novel. While off-putting to hear limp feminine audio, it didn’t stop me from listening to the entire audiobook. I wish Macmillan Audio hired two voice actors, that Sylvia and Trish especially were voiced by a woman. I don’t envy Campbell’s options with Sylvia’s voice, especially in the beginning, Sylvia is a panic-attacked whimpering victim and Mat the rough but conscience-bound redeemer. Maybe it’s a pet peeve of mine, when listening to audiobook narration with too ‘breathy’ a character voice, or too much differentiation between a narrator’s timbre and the various dialogue, but it threw me out of Automatic Reload’s prose a few times and elicited many a rant among our MacroMicroCosm discord server on the nature of respecting female characters by allowing them a more natural voice, and not a whining nasal whimper. It’s unfortunate, because Tim Campbell had the perfect voice for Mat’s rough narration. All in, this was the only issue with the audiobook version of Automatic Reload.

On to Steinmetz’s prose. While entertaining, and a fun way of portraying neuro-divergent characters, Automatic Reload is not making it into my top cyberpunk novels. As it was billed to be a cyberpunk romance, the choice to spend a vast third if not half of the novel in a first-person narrator-protagonist dry technological readout of the various guns, cybernetically augmented prostheses and associated weapons-come-defence programs felt stale as a slice of bread on the kitchen counter in summertime. Maybe engineering isn’t my thing, I know of several friends who would love such attention given to the weaponry, and recommended Automatic Reload to all of them, but a good hour into the prose and all I knew of Mat was the amount of weaponry he possessed on his specialized limbs, that he was attempting to halt a kidnapping, and he was paralyzed with the incapacity to kill. A decent bedrock for a PTSD scarred main character, Mat’s inability to take life becomes a mainstay of the manuscript. This is not in itself a negative. It makes for intriguing prose, and shows his caring, ethical side.

But I could not help feeling Mat’s selfish delusions within the first few chapters. His first-person narration of saving the teenaged girl became more about saving the people, who caused her fear and harm at her expense. When I taught self defence in a university and martial art academy setting, one of the first lessons (especially to the female students) was a defender has the right to go home. The attacker has every opportunity to stop harming you, and them refusing to let go is them allowing you to defend your right to survive unharmed as possible. In the introductory arc, Mat rescues a girl from kidnappers, who are prepared to kill her. Regardless of how noble Mat was in his attempts of causing less harm, I could not stop thinking of the harm he was causing to the poor girl frightened out of her mind, with a knife against her neck. Steinmetz goes so far as to have the girl bleed from a superficial slice to the throat, before our ‘wounded hero’ intervenes in a kinetic fashion.

Mat is not a hero, his paranoia at preventing harm does not make him precisely good. It does, however, make him a fascinating study of an injured veteran compensating for the horrors of war. He reminds me of Perseus, played by Sam Worthington in the 2010 released Clash of the Titans, where Perseus discovers his demi-godhood and struggles to go about his mission as a normal man, not a god. As if his spectacular powers were to be feared or forgotten in self-hatred rather than used to others’ advantages. Even when companions on his voyage begin to die, Perseus sticks to his selfish morals and refuses his inner power until it is all but too late. Just as Perseus could have saved multiple companion’s lives had he accepted his power, so too Mat could have saved the girl from trauma (injection of ‘anti PTSD drugs’ notwithstanding) if he hadn’t attempted to wait the kidnappers out as long as he did, until a last second where she looks into his faceplate and knows she is about to die.

As protagonists go, Mat is an insecure, selfish moralist with his own set of obsessive edits, who passes it off as a sheriff’s bravado in the wild world of body hacking. When his contact and seemingly only friend Trish (whom I loved) gets him a job worth millions, Mat dives in to prevent collateral damage only after she cajoles his ethics, and that is noble. But this is where the novel takes its’ turn. I won’t be going into spoilers much here, but from the moment Mat meets assassin-damsel in distress Sylvia, I could see where the novel’s plot was going, and for the most part I was 9 for 10.

Sylvia’s panic and anxiety disorder took centre stage, as Mat tumbled with her assassin-programmed artificial body, and the other body-hackers who were looking to bring her back and finish their job. The bonding between the two (through ‘old timey cinema) was ultimately endearing but fairly stock, between the constant verbal output of every single technological gadget Mat had on hand, or modified to work, or picked to replace old limbs, or because we were at another moment, where Mat needed to drone on about the tech as if to remind us that we were, in fact, in a cyberpunk setting.

My major criticism of the prose isn’t Mat’s struggle with harm reduction, but the sheer amount of technological data Steinmetz pushed into the manuscript, until I felt like half the novel was a sci-fi reader’s guide to emotionless guns, cybernetic components and threat awareness programming. At a fairly early point in the prose, the tech talk got so redundant if I hadn’t been listening on audiobook in my car, I’d skip pages. Yes, I can see this was a coping mechanism for Mat, and the best way Steinmetz had to frame the science fiction setting in a novel completely from the protagonist’s inner monologue (a literal ’subvocal recording’ as we discover), but it threw me. Automatic Reload lacked a balance between the cold cover of Mat’s obsessions and the emotionally gorgeous story of two wounded people falling in love… while being chased by psycho body-hacking killers.

It’s unfortunate, because the relationship development between Mat and Sylvia is agonizingly sweet. Their ability to both freak out and help each other, the peppering of laughter to break the tension of their run with death were all wonderfully done. Trish, Mat’s business contact and friend is the stand alone best character of the novel. Sassy, strong and incapable of selfish intentions, Trish gives Automatic Reload the backbone it needs to evolve both Mat and Sylvia and drive the plot forward, even through the constant re-hashing of the setting as Mat experienced it. I cared about Trish more than I cared about Mat or Sylvia, beyond their growing connection. The enemies, while trope-ish, were believable in their immensity, and brought me to the feel of a 1980’s action flick with Van Damme, or Norris at the fore… if their female lead happened to be more powerful than the Hulk in Thor: Ragnarok.

Steinmetz’s plot in Automatic Reload is visible miles before the chapter headings, and that is unproblematic, if you’re looking for an easy, entertaining read similar to that 1980’s action flick. I won’t say the climax didn’t take a twist, it did, but even when the twist occurred, I again called what would remain of the plot. If you want a cyberpunk weapon’s heavy cute-couple novel to relax with, this will certainly do it for you. Aside from its’ flaws, Automatic Reload has a vulnerability and joy to its escapism, the clinging growth of a relationship in two freaked out, lonely people.

Mat does grow through his moments with Sylvia, but especially with Trish’s advice. If you like to know the technological readout of every warrior’s equipment, watched the Matrix and Maltese Falcon, and enjoy a good gritty radio-show, with romantic plot-line, Automatic Reload is for you. I give it four out of five stars, and imagine the ideal reader would be of the masculine or tech-minded variety who is woke enough to handle a gritty romance with more bullets than people, a transgender best friend, and heroes whose anxiety and PTSD cause as many problems as they eventually, and inevitably, solve.

For those who want something to listen to of a similar feel, I thoroughly advise listening to the Red Panda Adventures.

[caden]

Honestly thank you for saying that. I also don't hate Travis but can't stand the way he goes about proving his "wokeness" he's obviously good natured but his approach is just so off and it's awkward when listening to the other brothers try to swerve around it, being more self aware than he is. I can't listen to the new Adventure Zone arc because her went out of his way to create a disable character and then be like "are you gonna ask me about my wheelchair" it's just too fucking much dude.

This is a super long rant-y response that doesn’t really say much of consequence, but...

yeah i have not enjoyed his arc so far sadly. I’m still going ahead with it for the time being, it’s worth listening to but honestly TAZ hasn’t gripped me all that much since balance. I feel like one of their issues is that balance really really tactically built up to its big emotional dramatic moments, everything felt really natural and just flowed so well-- whereas with these other arcs, I feel like they just jump the gun and try to constantly have dramatic stuff happening without ***earning*** it. The nature of most roleplaying games is just that they’re long form, and IMO the most important element of nailing a podcast like TAZ is making sure that the downtime is really enjoyable-- that means having really charismatic side characters, engaging and open-ended worldbuilding that allows for lots of different situations, and PCs that have clear and interesting motivations. Travis just isn’t a good enough DM to pull that all off. He’s decent at roleplaying IMO, but his personality / skills are just better suited to being a player. He clearly isn’t as good a storyteller as griffin, and even griffin’s storytelling has been strained from time to time. 

I honestly really really really wish that they would play a more Critical Role / MCDM style DnD game, where the worldbuilding took front-stage over the characters, and where it was assumed that the main players would cycle through MULTIPLE characters because their characters could actually die if it was dramatic-- or even just if the players fucked up in combat. I’d love to feel like they were in a setting that allowed them to have guest players on, where the world has internal consistency (unlike the live shows which are always fun but clearly not sustainable for a long-form story), and where the whole thing isn’t all built along railroading players down an ultra long-form epic story in the vein of Balance. Like one thing that’s great about DnD for me is that if you don’t currently feel like you’re gelling with the character you’re playing, you can just make a new character! If the quest you’re on isn’t incredibly engaging, you can tell the DM that you want to explore something in your character’s past or independently pursue some other motivation instead. I really wish they would experiment with a more freeform, noncommittal story, where they could lean into their improvisation skills (which is what they’re very good at) over their storytelling skills (where they're sort of lacking). 

I also feel like-- and this is just an unintended byproduct of the general vibe that they’re going for-- one big problem that I notice with their storytelling is that all of their characters are just like... too good. I feel like they’re so committed to being wholesome and non-stressful that everything about their worlds just has no edge at all. I’m not saying that I want TAZ to be game of thrones, obviously that would suck-- but so much of the conflict in their worlds feels awkward or forced because they don’t create their characters to be as flawed as I think they should. Justin usually being the exception. I think this is reaaaalllllly coming to the forefront in the new arc, Travis just isn’t capable of putting the kind of tension into his stories that Griffin was because he’s too committed to making his world crunchy and chill and, dare I say, woke. But I think the wheelchair thing is coming from a different sort of bad storytelling-- writers put a diverse character into their story and then feel so immediately proud of themselves that they forget to actually make the character interesting or memorable beyond that, inadvertently tokenizing the characters. 

Griffin also did something really smart when he was DMing, which was that he intentionally never told us anyone’s race. He explicitly said that it being an audio medium allowed the listener the freedom to imagine whatever race they want, as well as imagine trans-ness, disability, etc. Which, even though it might sound kind of like a cop-out, is IMO the best way to handle it. If they play characters outside of their race, people will be mad. If they don’t have enough diversity, people will be mad. If they have explicit diversity but portray something insensitively, people will be mad. I personally think that griffin would have been smart enough to do these things sensitively, but he’s always erred on the side of caution. The only exception in balance was them explicitly stating that Lup was a trans woman, which was also handled very well IMO. Travis just isn’t taking that level of subtlety to his DMing because he isn’t as perceptive about these things as Griffin is. He’s stating all this stuff explicitly because he wants people to know that his world is diverse. Which is cool, but it comes with the baggage of actually having to execute that diversity with some level of insight. In this case, I honestly think the players should be more comfortable going ahead and making characters that are explicitly NOT cis white (or white-coded) men. They made the move after balance to start playing women, which was good. The alternative is just constantly having protagonists that, even in fantasy/sci-fi settings, are cis-coded, white-coded, or male-coded. 

All in all, the big issue for me rn with the Mcelroys is that i have much more of a sense now that they’re the types of creators who are entirely just trying to please their fanbase. This is really visible in the style of comedy that they’re doing these days as well. They aren’t trying new things, they’re just finding what’s comfortable, what fans clap for in live shows, and doing more of that. I remember once in a live show they said “okay guys, we’re making a change. we’re no longer gonna allow you guys to ask questions that are just you bragging about a cool thing you did”. That was one of the best decisions they made from a content perspective, lol. Their most interesting work of the last three years has been the Trolls 2 podcast, because it’s stylistically VERY different from their normal stuff, and because NOBODY was asking for it. And as a result, it was able to be a novel, funny concept. I feel like in the age of streamers, youtubers, creators who are basing their brand off of PERSONALITY over CONTENT, we’re gonna be getting more and more of this kind of art. As creators, the Mcelroys aren’t trying to do something new, to create exciting thought-provoking funny content. They’re just repeating the things that have found them the most success. They take the desires of the fans a bit too seriously, which keeps them from going in new directions, because fans can’t validate things that don’t exist yet. The fans shouldn’t be the ones who create new trends or decide the tone of the content. That should be entirely in the hands of the creators. You can sorta tell that at times Griffin and Justin are unhappy about it. I think this was at its worst about a year or so ago, and they’ve realized it and started to work on course-correction. They stopped doing TAZ live shows with the balance characters, which was a good choice. I DON’T think that the issue is that they ran out of ideas, it’s just that they’re overdue for a creative renaissance. I would love it if instead of just doing more TAZ and mbmbam, they continued to do a bunch of small unusual projects in the vein of Trolls 2, the old Monster Factory videos, the new non-DnD TAZ live shows, etc. I’m also enjoying The Besties (I listened to it before it got canned and was excited when it came back), because I feel like Griffin and Justin act more like normal humans on that show and less like Mcelroy brothers. 

WITH ALL THAT SAID, their content is still often very fun, and I think it’s really good that they exist as successful creators. They’re a net positive force in the world, the small attempts people have made to cancel them for dumb shit will always be petty and stupid. They’ve more than earned a spot in the podcasting hall of fame, I don’t think they’re just has-beens, and I will continue to listen to plenty of their stuff for the conceivable future even if it’s not always exactly what I want from them. 

[terrahistorian]

So I just finished The Adventure Zone: The Balance Arc

This will likely just devolve to spoilers, so fair warning there.

I first heard of it here, on Tumblr, and I was astounded. Every piece of fanart, animatic, and think piece on the plot, spoke to a deep love and adoration, not only on the fandom’s part, but from the McElroys as well. I can’t remember what finally tipped a, “I should get around to that someday,” to, “I will gleefully listen to these four idiots for roughly four days of content,” but I’m so glad it happened. There are certain things I wished weren’t spoiled for me, but that’s the nature of the beast.

I started listening after the story was complete, and I honestly can’t imagine the stress that would have come from listening to it piecemeal. I called each arc my favorite as I listened to them, because they literally just kept getting better. The ingenuity, creativity, and just plain fun that went into every plot point, it all honestly inspires me to be a better DM and storyteller. I was hooked on the story from the first static Tres Horny Boys heard, and there were times I couldn't believe what I was hearing, because it was just so good. When Griffin got in his stride, his settings grew so vivid, I regularly caught myself staring at a wall unblinkingly, because my mind’s perspective was following his words.

Here There be Gerblins was the perfect beginning to this story, absolutely hilarious, with a taste of the scope of the campaign. Moonlighting built further on the scope, while introducing two of the greatest things of the series. The Voidfish, and the Fantasy Costco, both of which I can only call inspired, in their own ways. Petals to the Metal was the first real emotional arc, and man did it deliver. Sloane and Hurley quickly became some of my favorite NPCs of the series. The Crystal Kingdom was... So good. So much. And just, so brilliant and beautiful. The Eleventh Hour was truly indescribable. Isaac’s Journal is a masterpiece, every NPC felt so alive and thriving, and the entire arc was not only satisfying, it was truly fascinating. Many things were spoiled for me going into this, but my jaw dropped the second Magnus realized there was a second Voidfish. The Suffering Game was some of the best roleplaying I have ever heard, hands down.

But my heart truly began to break during The Stolen Century. Each cycle was so ingenious, and so unique. And seeing these friends, true friends, grow, learn, and love, and die again and again, just so the others can live, it was truly beautiful. And I could make an entire other post about Jon. His motivations, his worldview, the vast extreme of destruction by nihilism, and how he was literally and figuratively torn apart by his own hands. I teared up with The Trial Cycle. Griffin’s description of Lucretia’s tribulations, and the affect that year had on her entire character, how this meek chronicler grew to be Madam Director... I felt proud, and also sad. Sad that she spent so long alone, and her time there pushed her farther away in the years to come, but immeasurably proud that despite all odds, despite being the most perilous cycle of their journey, Lucretia rose above.

And then the finale. The ending of this story was incredibly bittersweet. On the one hand, I am sad to see these characters leave, because they have given me so much joy. On the other hand, I literally cannot think of a better way to end their story. The character progression of the Seven Birds is some of the greatest I have ever seen.

Taako, who went from a stoned loner, to a tragically broken hero, to someone happy, loved, and whole. He voiced to Kravitz that he feared that no one else would have him, and he grew to be loved by literally everyone.

Lup, who despite having the least screentime of the Seven Birds, is one of my favorite NPCs, who shared one of the greatest love stories I’ve ever heard with Barry Bluejeans.

Barry, who started as a forgettable NPC with a joke name, and grew to save everyone. His love for Lup drove him to death and rebirth so many times, all in the hope that his path would lead him to her. If it weren’t for Barry, The Hunger would have won, simple as that.

Magnus, who I’d honestly say is my favorite character. Magnus began as a hotheaded fighter with no regard to his own safety, unleashed one of the most tragic backstories in the series, and grew into a multifaceted, kind, loving, protector.

Lucretia, who is one of the most interesting characters in the show. Her arc truly began in the Trial Cycle, where she faced indomitable adversity, unparalleled loneliness, and rose above it. Her motivations, while ultimately made in love, broke their found family, and would have likely lead to a Pyrrhic victory at best. Despite this, her found family found her again, and saved her from this wretched fate, and she truly saved them all.

Merle, such a kind and gentle man, who faced death more than any of them. More than anyone, Merle was a fuckup. A father who ran out on his family, a cleric who couldn’t properly heal his friends, and a man constantly unsure about whether or not his friends merely tolerated his existence. And he grew. It’s not even a, “but,” he never denied those parts of him, even during the Trial. He was a fuckup, and he grew to be the most selfless, loving, forgiving member of the Seven Birds, who became the hero of his children.

Davenport, to me, is the most heartbreaking of the Seven Birds. A pilot whose sole desire and identity was to explore, and see the cosmos unfold around him. A man so dedicated to keeping his family safe, he spent every day thinking of them. The man whose memories were the most linked to the Stolen Century, who probably had the most character growth apart from Lucretia herself. Early on, I laughed at the character choice of having Davenport only say his name. Now, I see it as a tormented cry for help, and it breaks my heart. But even still, he too got his happy ending. A true explorer, he took to the seas, and it warms my heart.

I rarely cry, especially when media is concerned. I recognize when something is sad, when something is heartbreakingly so, but the very idea of crying in a theater is unknown to me, same as to a song. And normally, I would extend that to podcasts. But Griffin proved me wrong with one question.

“How does Magnus die?”

It stunned me. And as it drew on, as the scene was painted around his deathbed, family and friends gathered at his side, holding his wife’s ring in his hand, I felt tears roll down my face. Everything was so sweet, and sad, and perfect for a peaceful death. And then Kravitz took him to the Astral Plane, where that cottage waited for him. The dogs almost got me, I almost lost control there. But then Julia walked out. Their reunion, their love stitched delicately into every syllable they were saying, it was just too much. I had to fight back sobs just so that I didn’t worry my cousin in the other room, and have to pause such a beautiful ending to explain it to him. As they walked into the cottage, as Magnus began regaling her with this impossible story, the words of the Temporal Chalice, Magnus’ own Relic, sprang to mind, just with a slightly different meaning.

“You worked so hard for this. This is the happy ending you earned.”

This story is now incredibly dear to my heart. A tale of love, loss, pain, and heartache, ended with laughter, dancing, loving, and an entire world staring at the apocalypse and refusing to die. A story about the preciousness of life, and just how much is lost when one gives up their will to live. A moral tale about how any quest to rise above life, and the pain it brings, simply makes you lose everything you’re fighting for. A series about a found family, who argue, hurt each other, and break so much between them all, but grow together, forgive each other, and mend all that was broken. But most importantly, The Adventure Zone is the story of four idiots, who played Dungeons and Dragons so hard, they made all of us cry.

[rogue-rook]

many highlights from The Eleventh Hour from a first-time TAZ listener

featuring bits from Lunar Interlude III: Rest and Relaxation

oh god is this lunar interlude a goddamn ASMR experience

are carey fangbattle and killian dating?

i’m almost 100% sure griffin said “fisticups” instead of “fisticuffs”

griffin: “okay, you spend the next few weeks learning from carey” oh, okay griffin, i see, we’re taking the LAZINESS route on this campaign now. maybe there were some good snorlaxes to catch on that route or something, but now we’ll never know!

a semi-incomplete list of words that griffin has made up during TAZ: “cruft, geezers creezers, and scrumbled” except scrumbled was stolen from justin

my first thought when i realized taako and sweet ango were going to be spending this interlude together was “oh no taako is about to just bully the goddamn earwax out of sweet ango”

I JUST REALIZED ANGUS MACDONALD IS 10 GODDAMN YEARS OLD. where are his parents??? he had a grandpa who died, right? who’s taking care of him? did lucretia kidnap him to illegally “employ” THIS LITERAL CHILD at the bureau of balance??

WAIT IS LUCRETIA HIS MOM?

taako just called sweet ango “agnes”

THE UMBRA STAFF JUST TOOK CONTROL AND BLASTED “LUP” INTO THE WALL AND IM LIKE LUP!!!! ITS LUP!!!

the Hole-Thrower is a goddamn genius object but i wish it wasn’t just for “non-magical, non-living” things bc i wanna see taako throw a hole into an enemy

magnus: “i want a black mastiff” griffin: “but you know, theres’s no dogs on the moon!”

the grubby grifters went over budget at the fantasy costco and griffin's voice like animorph-style changed into garfield the deals asshole‘s voice and im like. uncomfortable

travis: “i’m now a level 8 fighter and a level 2 rogue” “which i think makes sense for magnus bc you’re a protecting guardian but you’re also kinda a nasty boy on that battlefield”

the grubby grifters are the only bureau employees not to be super choked up about boyland’s death and im like “hey maybe you assholes shouldn’t have tried to desecrate his crystalized corpse”

WIVES AND HUSBANDS AND STUFF

if the voidfish is either nice or neutral, then it singing to magus is adorable

if the voidfish turns out to be evil, then it singing to magnus is super super ominous

the director: “avi had to miss boyland’s rites of remembrance” merle: “i didn’t know that was an option"

names suggested for the woven gulch before griffin decided that: dry bones, gucci gulch, the taint, the devil’s taint, ravine, gulch, the blasted lands, the not-blasted lands, the flavor-blasted lands, the grandd canyon (not a typo), the taco bell grande canyon, the arid waste, tattoine

all the grubby grifters: “SUMMER LOOKS! SUMMER LOOKS! SUMMER LOOKS!”

taako: "thanks garfield, can we leave now?" "I WISH YOU WOULD"

sweet ango has to launch the grubby grifters down to the woven gulch and he’s so terrified and im like ango, they should be more nervous, they’re yOUR BULLIES!!

magnus: “we don’t have to mean EVERY time!” okay, magnus, that’s rich coming from you, seeing as you’ve been the worst to angus

travis: “you as the DM didn't remind your players” griffin: “oh i didn't know this was a baby game for CHILDREN”

magnus: “what it we just didn't attack them this round and just saw what they did?” merle: “WHO ARE YOU??”

griffin: “it's kind of rustic” magnus: “FINALLY, MY RUSTIC FOLK HERO THING WILL WORK AND PEOPLE WILL LIKE ME!!!”

“by their sacrifice, our home is made safe” WHAT THE FUCK!

griffin: “where the robe it, it has been stained or oxidized, turning it a bright crimson red" "oh.....like...the bad guys...” YALL THAT’S SO. THAT’S SOME SHIT. THAT’S SOME MYSTERIOUS SHIT

taako: “okay, cool, I’m not into labels either” yooooooo 

i googled the map griffin made for the town of Refuge and hot damn, that’s a well made map

magnus: “i rolled a 10 [on a perception check]” griffin: “you're in a prison cell with bars on it” merle: “i rolled a 1″ griffin: “you are in a cube shaped place”

griffin: “and then all three of you, have died” WHAT IN THE FUCK????? WHAT THE HELL??? WHAT????

THE SET UP OF THIS ARC IS BOMB AS HELLLLLLLLLLLLL

the fact that paloma sounds like bjork tells me that griffin is just straight up running out of different accents

[merle continues to sing to the tune of book of mormon] travis: “clinton. you just got clocked by a shovel”

justin: “i’m gonna delete the video i was making about how to do an infinite diamond glitch in the adventure zone”

griffin: “there are many rocks piled up” justin: “mini rocks are actually called pebbles, griffin”

griffy set up this quarry locker room tripwire puzzle exactly like a fucking game of hangman! the most deadly game of hangman ever

griffin: “lemme just say that diamonds are the currency of this town. you wouldn’t go to the US treasury to get dollars fresh from the printing press” justin: “what, you want me to get a part time job??” griffin: “i wouldn't hate it”

griffin: “i just agreed to what dad said without really processing what it was that he said, and what he said was the name "bjork" as bork” clint: “you gotta watch that shit, griffin” griffin: “i was almost an accomplice to that heinous act”

the grubby grifters just unquestioningly trust paloma the bjork witch without any sort of investigation checks or ANYTHING and im like what if she’s evil, my dudes. what if she’s leading you astray

griffin: “the human spell library, clint mcelroy”

griffin: “if you can just instantly bring back any dead person to life, it may reduce the narrative stakes of the adventure zone podcast A BIT!” AH SHIT SON!!

magnus: “im gonna....cut his arm off” griffin: “OH MY GOD!! YOU LOVE THIS SHIT! YOU’RE A PERVERT! YOU'RE EXPOSING EVERYONE TO YOUR FETISH!!”

istus is cool and awesome and she knits but all this shit she’s talking about it is just context-less gibberish

“you’re going to be amazing” AT WHAT, MOTHERFUCKER? YOU’RE COOL AND YOU HANDED OUT BOMB ASS GIFTS BUT WHAT THE SHIT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??

hot damn yall. this time chalice is trying to PERSUADE the grubby grifters and my evil bullshit meter thinks this is SUPER HELLA SUSPENSEFUL

AW SHIT! BACKSTORIES!

damn this chalice is so tempting. i can’t even imagine

these backstories are heartbreaking. im blown away by the way the mcelroys have crafted this part of the story, and so so sad. especially about magnus

“its not what julia would want” travis stop making me feel these things

magnus: “noelle ended up with a new shiny robot body!” taako: “an unkillable robot! I'd call that an upgrade!”

oh no the chalice is forcing them to watch the destruction of phandolin, what an asshole

magnus: “i’m gonna throw a whole bunch of robot arms into him” griffin: “okay, so you just have a hefty bag full of roboid arms??” 

merle: “we owe a big one to penumbra" magnus: "paloma"

magnus: “we gotta jump” roswell: “this is a shitty shitty shit shit plan, i hope you know that” i love roswell’s instinctive reaction when presented with a dumb idea, which is to respond with pure immediate honesty and tell the grubby grifters that their ideas are dumb as hell

this worm fight is bizarre as fuck, what the fuck are they even DOING???

aw the weird worm just wanted to escape the bubble so it could get back to its babies! that’s...almost adorable. if it wasn’t a giant fucking worm

oh good. the red robe is back. cool cool cool cool cool

magnus: “you’re proud of us? what? you’re a red robe, you’re one of the bad guys?” the red robe: “who told you that?”

GRIFFIN JUST CALLED IT A LICH!!!!!

the red robe said “lup, they don’t trust me. lup i can’t do it anymore” and “the next time we meet, i’ll need you to trust me completely. the hunger is almost here, and all this could be lost” YALLL IM CONFUSED ASSSS FFFUCKKKK BUT IM SO EXCITED ABOUT WHOEVER THE FUCK THIS PARSELTONGUE MOTHERFUCKER IS!!

well taako got a prophecy saying he would one day get power from “the man wreathed in flames” so like im pretty goddamn sure the parseltongue motherfucker is barry bluejeans. there’s a lich around, barry got blasted to hell by gundren rockseeker, and the red robe wants the grubby grifters to trust him, so like 2+2+2 probably equals barry fucking bluejeans here

the fact that they got to watch over the town of refuge for 7 years was soooooo sweet!!!!

hot damn the red robe’s been protecting magnus this whole time???

travis asking istus why there’s long gaps in their memories like hey trav griffy doesn’t want you or me or anyone else to know yet, but good try!

magnus: “if you get bored, there's this half-moon thing in the sky, you can come hang out with us” taako: “yeah most birds can fly to the MOON!”

kravitz!!! anytime kravitz shows back up is a GOOD GODDAMN TIME!! because i love kravitz

the red robe in the statue in Refuse HAS MAGNUS’S FACE!!!

i have literal goddamn chills. that is so good

this was a very odd meandering arc and i didn’t know what the hell was going on half the time but it was super super super enjoyable and some of the plot shit got me HYPED AS HELL

[chuckadams]

The Fierce and Beautiful World: A Requiem for a Year

And now let us gather round the hearth—or whatever it is we consider a hearth in this day and age, be it a wood-stove (you lucky bums) or the soft glow of a smartphone screen—let us gather and dive into yet another of my long-winded rants and raves about the past year. For it has been a doozy. Is that the right word? Can a doozy capture both the highest of highs, as well as the lowest of lows? Is there a better word? I have already googled “best word to describe a year of ups and downs” and google cannot adequately give answers.

Because there are no answers.

Last year I wrote that there are only “arcs and circuits and feedback loops, and they are always bending and flowing. Gaining and losing. Seeking a balance, that will never be perfect or purely balanced.” 2019 was the year that proved it.

SRI LANKA NEW YEAR

On the first day of 2019 I woke up in Bucharest after a long sleep, interrupted briefly by midnight fireworks in the piazza down the street. I had just returned from a two-week trip to Sri Lanka, which, if nothing else, allowed me time to reflect and consider where I was going. I had just begun dating Ani, an Armenian-born Russian citizen, earlier that fall, and she was back home in Russia for the holidays. 

One year later, I will read this, from a book gifted to me by my brother: “I will find my way into new country that beckons me to take unexpected risks, which turn out not to be risks at all, but the next step.” And I realize this was what 2019, and pretty much all of the past decade, has been about. Unexpected risks turning into next steps.

In Sri Lanka, I sat on a beach and watched a daughter excitedly frolic in the waves with her dad, and I thought, Wouldn’t that be nice, too? I took surf lessons (“I need to impress my surfing girlfriend,” I told my instructor). I sat on a flat wooden raft and was pushed across a lake by a silent boatman, while I spied elephants on the far shore with my binoculars, tuning in to the steady splashes of water against the hull. I leaned out from the open door on a jungle train as it chugged through tea fields in the highlands from Ella to Kandy to Colombo, listening to a soundtrack of indie rock music on my mp3 player. 

I read, months later, about the terrorist attacks in Colombo and thought about the wonderful people I had met who would likely suffer from less income this year.

THE TROUBLE WITH ONLINE DATING

“Everything, even the weather, becomes a communication, or even a critical comment, on one’s relationship with things, phenomena, persons, etc.” I wrote that last year. It seems sad to admit, but the biggest comment about my newfound relationship with Ani came when I deleted all of my dating apps on my phone. Not days after I met her, nor even weeks. It took months. Months of internal conflict that culminated in what, for me, was a small victory for the soul.

Online dating apps have been both a blessing and a curse. On the one hand, they have allowed an introvert like me to actually have a dating life. I recall, back in 2007, when I was suddenly single after a long relationship, how difficult it was to date. I didn’t even have the Internet at my house in Eugene, Oregon; no Wi-Fi, and definitely no smartphone; I got 8 hours of screen-time per day at my job, and that was plenty for me, thank you. Dating in 2007 was like the Stone Ages compared to today, where you had to physically go out and “bump” into strangers, or just wait until strangers fell into your orbit.

I’m not really the kind of person who talks to strangers at bars (at least not in bars in my home country), so I let people drift into and out of my life like those deer who show up in your front yard, eating your clover, and then move on down the street. I was that kind of deer, too. A feral browser, moving to and fro, with no rhyme or reason.

And then, around mid-2016, voila! an endless scroll of possibilities with dating apps, whilst living in ever larger cities of Portland, and then Bucharest. But I noticed something: the “endless possibilities” became, for me, antithetical to actual committed relationships. I remember going on a few dates with women, who were, on balance, worth spending my time and energy with, but that energy was instead spent scrolling through the endless possibilities still out there. It was like I was living through some bizarro world version of my college art film, “Hunting Love.” I had become a hunter-gatherer, and yet I wanted to be a farmer. These apps had turned me into a hypocritical monster. With so much wild game at my fingertips, there really was no rational reason to switch to cultivating a sustainable life with another person. I had resigned myself to eternal bachelorhood, and I was becoming more and more okay with this.

Then I met Ani.  

And isn’t this how it typically happens? Someone defies all of your expectations, catching you unaware?

With Ani, our courtship (and yes, I insist on using that old-fashioned term) developed over the course of months, not days. It was like a tree that needed to grow a few rings of thickness before it knew it was something of substance. In the past, I would have looked at the seed, imagining I saw a tree, prematurely. Often I would have planted anew before even giving it a chance to grow.

For me, the seed became a tree when we both took a weekend trip to the Black Sea coast in late January 2019, a full 2.5 months after we met. We got a deal on a room at one of the few seaside resorts still open in the dead of winter, one that had an indoor pool and a sauna. That evening, before dinner, we took a stroll along a desolate stretch of beach. It was dusky, cold, and a light rain fell, coating us in those fine white dots of spray. I remember thinking, “There are only so many people on this Earth who would actually enjoy what we are doing right now. I mean, it stinks like dying fish on this beach, and it’s bloody cold, and there is nobody else around here except us.” But we got closer, for warmth, and it was obvious I was not asking too much of her to be here with me.

Later, in the spring, we took a weekend road trip to the far western part of Romania to scout a location for a school trip. Then, for a week we road-tripped through Bulgaria, with the highlight being some wild camping on a beach near the border with Turkey. Again, I came back from these trips pinching myself.

ADDRESSING THE ISSUE OF CHILDREN IN WAR ZONES

In the midst of all this, I continued to teach at the American International School of Bucharest, surrounded by intrepid and exasperating students, as well as adventurous colleagues.

For example, there was that wonderful week in February spent in Sweden with colleagues. We walked around Stockholm, then spent a solid few days cross-country skiing and soaking in hot tubs in Funasdalen, in the central-west mountains near the border with Norway. Mmmhmmmm, just what was needed in the middle of winter. 

I also took on a new challenge this year, namely that I coached the middle school’s Model United Nations (MUN) for the winter season. We had a group of 8 students, all quirky in their own ways, who got practice in debating, resolution writing, and the fine art of lobbying. I’ll admit that I probably would not have been interested in MUN when I was a middle schooler, nor as a high schooler. It does seem to favor those who like to hear themselves talk, though it certainly attracts those with a desperate need for social skills practice. However, I liked that this was a group that actually enjoyed discussing worldly topics, like the role of NGOs in developing countries, or the role that religion plays in national politics. I was most comfortable when I could just assume the Humanities teacher role and guide students to a well-written and researched resolution addressing the issue of children living in war zones. We had a local, on-campus MUN conference in March, and then traveled to a MUN conference in Budapest, Hungary. The big news I wish to share is that, for the first time in my life, I bought a suit. Apparently MUN participants must dress the part, and their coaches must follow suit, literally. So there’s that. A small but significant change. Ka-ching.

THE POETRY OF BONFIRES

After MUN season wrapped up in early April, I got ready to lead a group of 7th and 8th graders on a trip to Port Cetate, in the far southwestern part of Romania, for a week-long creative writing and photography retreat. At my school, the 7th through 10th graders go on week-long trip in mid-May tailored to their interests. The trips ran the gamut from creative pursuits (like writing and photography), to outdoor pursuits (like rock-climbing, mountain biking, or scuba diving), to service-learning pursuits. On the trip I led, I got to teach kids about writing short, descriptive vignettes, as well as how to take photos manually using a DSL film camera (using my old Canon AE-1). It blew their minds that they would have to wait 2-4 weeks to see the fruits of their photography, most of which turned out slightly out of focus. Above all, I won’t forget the last day we had with the students, when we had a bonfire on the banks of the Danube River, looking across to Bulgaria. We had an impromptu dance party, which is probably the most memorable poetry these kids will remember a few years from now.

When we returned from this trip, I headed straight to the airport, to fly to Portugal to meet Ani in Sagres, where we spent two days surfing, eating amazing meals, swinging in hammocks, and hanging with her surf camp friends. We spent one sunset overlooking what can only be described as “the end of the world.” And others describe it this way, too. Sagres is the extreme southwestern point of the European continent. (It is at this spot that we hope to perform a small but special ceremony in June 2020.) Later, we drove north to spend a day in Lisbon, a wonderful city well worth the time and energy spent exploring its nooks and crannies.

SUMMER OF HANG TIME

After that, time moved swiftly. The school year ended, and my summer break began. This summer I would not be charting something so adventurous as the previous summer’s month-long bike tour of the Balkans. No, this summer the theme was Hang Out with Friends and Family, and Renew Relationships. I think this summer epitomized what I wrote last year about optima:

“Optima means there is no single variable which should be maximized over any other single variable: period. This is the practice of stability, of optimization; an oscillation of gain and loss; the practice of diversity; the spirit of community.”

What this meant, in practical terms, is that my legs and lungs probably got less exercise this summer, but I was exercising something else, perhaps less physical, but no less important.

I spent quality time with friends and former professors in Laramie, Wyoming; a week with my brother Jonah and family in Colorado; a road trip across Hwy 50, the “loneliest road,” from Utah to Oregon, with my brother Phil; a family reunion in Astoria with my niece, Skye, and her fiancé, driving in from San Diego, as well as my sister, Elisha, and her boyfriend, Joe, flying in from Chicago, essentially to celebrate my return from abroad, as well as my niece’s recent engagement.

At first I anticipated this reunion with trepidation, as Elisha has a knack for returning to Astoria with hurricane force winds, knocking down everyone in her path of verbal volleys, usually snarky but occasionally biting. That being said, I hadn’t seen her in over a decade, for a variety of reasons, and I realized, after she arrived, in full hurricane mode, and saw her interactions with everyone, that I missed her. Her boyfriend, Joe, was sporting a mohawk and pounding down the local craft beers I was offering. Uh-oh, I thought. Maybe I should have mentioned these were 6% ABU? Somehow we all made it up to the Astoria Column for the sunset.

I remember waking up the next morning and seeing that nobody was taking action to make anything special for breakfast. Such lazy bums, I thought. Then I remembered that I was an adult now...it only took me 36 years to figure that out...and that if I wanted pancakes for breakfast, I had to make them myself. So I got out all the ingredients and I started churning out what we call “big pancakes” in my house, and which are called Swedish pancakes, or French crepes, elsewhere. Sure, there were arguments about whether my dad’s cherry jam would or would not cause food poisoning...arguments over the absurdity of my brother running out and buying three large jars of high fructose corn syrup jelly…but those arguments came from the parents. I remember that Elisha and Joe were grateful for my sweat over the stovetop.

This, I choose to remember.

RECONNECTIONS

Later, once my extended family came and went, I focused on hanging with my parents, and spending time with friends in Astoria and Portland. On this trip alone, I met at least nine brand new humans under the age of two, such is the state of mid-30s life. At some point, I remember briefly thinking, “I miss the freedom of my bike tour of the previous summer, where every day I packed up my panniers and cast off on another journey to another new town.” Then I remember thinking, “Well, but this is nice. To reconnect and restore relationships...moreover, to have the blessing of time off in the summer months to do such a thing, is priceless. There will always be time for adventures; there is not always time to just hang out, however brief, and catch up on life.”

Indeed, I even got to spend a few hours with Ngaoi, a friend I met back when I was volunteering on a farm in New Zealand in 2010. She was the best friend of our hosts, and would come over often to hang out and help us in the hydroponic lettuce greenhouses. My ex-girlfriend, Rachel, and I secretly wanted to adopt her as our daughter (we were in our late 20s; she was in her late teens). Zoom ahead a decade, and she was visiting her current boyfriend, an American she met in New Zealand, but who happened to live in Beaverton, Oregon. They both made a weekend trip to Astoria, and I introduced them to the Blue Scorcher’s coffee and we browsed a “flea market” at a local church.

The sun races around the galaxy; the Earth sprints to keep up with it in gravitational orbits; and we always make our returns back to our origins to begin again.

THE ORIGIN OF LOVE

When I flew back to Romania, Ani had moved into my apartment in downtown Bucharest. We had planned on it before I left, but still it was a bit of a shock to see all her belongings in place, the decor slightly personalized to her likings. I didn’t mind it at all. Moreover, it was an important milestone, a difference that made a difference.

When you are 22, you have your whole life ahead of you, and, even if you’re certain about a thing, can take your time to get around to ascertaining it. Well, when you’re 36, and you are certain about a thing, there is no practical use in waiting to ascertaining it. You take hold of it and don’t let it go.

Thus, by mid-October, while we Ani and I were on vacation in Greece, on the island of Crete, on a stretch of beach we had all to ourselves, as the sun hung low on the horizon, I proposed.  

The engagement ring has the words “origo amare” engraved on the inside of the band, an allusion to our first meeting at a coffee shop named Origo. The Latin phrase means, “The origin of love.” It seems ironic, I know, that the origin of love could be instigated by a few messages sent back and forth on Internations, a social media site for expatriates, followed by a meeting for coffee. There was no love at first sight. In fact, it took a month before we exchanged our first kiss. But every slow burn needs its spark.

Our spark came when I asked if Ani would show me how to use her longboard, which she had in the trunk of her car parked a block away. As we walked to the concrete slab, she pushed me from behind to see which foot was more dominant. It was just a test, but later, she told me, “You felt so warm.” Perhaps the body knows things before the brain does. Life is a mystery, and I want to hold onto that mystery, because there is no reason we should have met each other, growing up on opposite sides of the world, to meet under such particular circumstances. That spark led to another meeting, and then another... 

So it goes.

One year later we were engaged. Unlike most other times in my life, there is no inner conflict, no hesitation. Sure, there are “What if…?” lines of inquiry, as per usual. But the one line of inquiry that sets me straight is the one that goes, “What if I had never met Ani?” It sets me straight because I know the answer to that one: I would be writing this end-of-year review as per usual, likely on a tropical beach somewhere, likely alone, and happy enough, because I am perfectly fine enjoying my own company (and the company of books), and I would be describing some incredible moments from the past year.

But I would not be describing what I suppose I’m describing now: a change in trajectory, a revolution of priorities. Without Ani I would have been happy; with Ani I know I will be happier.

OF LOGISTICS AND A DOG BITE

So the year beat on. In November, I brought my cross country team to the championships in Kiev, Ukraine, and got bit by an unclaimed dog in the middle of the coaches race. Spent my November getting injections of rabies vaccine by a no-nonsense nurse at the Anti-Rabic Clinic here in the city.

We enjoyed a three-day weekend at the end of November in Milan, Italy, visiting with an old friend and taking engagement photos with an iPhone X. I celebrated my 37th birthday on a rare sunny day in Milan, eating turkey at a belated Thanksgiving Day feast. 

Throughout the fall, Ani and I spent many an evening planning the logistics of when and where we would get married in Romania (in front of the legal authorities) and in Sagres, Portugal (in front of family), as well as the insane amount of bureaucratic paperwork needed to fulfill the requirements here in Romania.

Ani and I have no plans to return to the United States to “settle down.” We met as global citizens of the world, and we intend to stay that way, at least for the time being. As of today, I have spent a little over 5 years of my adult life living abroad, in places all over the world. I feel at home in the world now, and building a cross-cultural, multi-lingual family seems to be my ultimate fate, happily.

THE REBALANCING OF HIGH & LOW

Well, so much for the highs. Sometime in September, I thought, “I’ve been lucky so far, because I have only lost my grandparents, and that was long ago. But...it’s only a matter of time.” And that time came in early October, with the passing of my Uncle Remi. He was 76 years old. My parents flew to Chicago to attend his funeral, as well as take care of his final arrangements. He was living in his family home at the time, and now that house, which had been in my family’s possession for over 70 years, will be up for sale.

Then, on the evening of December 7th, I got a call from my brother. I was in the middle of my school’s holiday party, at the Marriott Hotel, when he told me our sister had passed away. She was 47 years old. At one point, he mentioned that we knew this moment would come eventually, and I knew what he meant. In 2011 she had nearly died as a result of a critical MRSA infection. At that time I was in a far remote corner of Ethiopia, and the power and Internet was cut. My family was rushing to the hospital in Chicago, and I was rushing to catch a bus to somewhere with a phone signal. She miraculously recovered from that scary episode, and so I like to think that she was blessed with eight more years of life. Eight more years to make memories with her daughter, and to see her daughter get married on a beach in Hawaii this past October, so happy and joyful.

After the news, I sucked it in as best as I could and went to work for three more days. Some colleagues wondered why I was at work. Where else would I be, I thought, on the couch moping? No, it was better to see the faces of my students, to let them know what happened, so they saw me as a frail human. And they were so kind about it. About seven students from my 6th grade English class even surprised me with kind notes attached to my door, reminding me of the spirit of giving and generosity in our darkest month of December.

I flew to Chicago on a Thursday, arriving late, hosted by my cousin Jeremy. Despite the circumstances, it was satisfying to catch up with some of my family still living in Chicago, such as my cousins Jeremy, Harmony, Mike, and uncles Steve, Ben, and John, and aunts Linda, Pam, and Kathy. As well, meeting my cousins’ tiny children for the first time was a diamond in the rough.

The night before the funeral, my brother Jonah, his wife LuAnne, and my brother Phil, all of whom just arrived by air, picked me up from my cousin’s house. We congregated at the Hampton Inn, in Lisle, Illinois, where several folks were staying for the weekend, to put together three large photo-collages that would be displayed at the funeral. Elisha’s step-sister, Melissa, had collected arts and crafts supplies from the daycare she runs, and we all got to work, including my niece Skye and her husband, David. Together, we all did our best to piece together Elisha’s life from images collected from several sources across the ages. It was hard not to dwell too long on this treasure trove of images, some of which we had never seen until now, and before too long it was nearly midnight.

What is there to say about funerals? Are they really for the deceased? Or are they for the living?

As family and friends came together at the funeral home for a two-hour moment in time, we paid our respects to Elisha, and we paid our respects to each other. I met people for the first time, and I reunited with people I had only met once, long ago. The photo-collages were beautiful, but it was the photo album that my Uncle Steve brought—ones that held Elisha’s baby photos, when she ran and frolicked on the farms and coastal beaches of Oregon—that choked me up the most.

Every time I got near my sister’s urn I choked back tears. Stupid as it sounds, because I didn’t have any tissue on hand, I stifled the tears. But when the funeral parlor director came out to ask everyone to take a seat, or take a knee, while he said a prayer, I found some tissues, and the tears burst forth.

Then he asked everyone except the immediate family to walk past the urn and pay their final respects. I did not, could not, look up. More tears.

Then he asked the immediate family to come forward. We made a half-circle in front of the urn, in all its rainbow-hued splendor, reflecting my sister’s colorful character, sitting there amidst the expensive floral arrangement paid for by my Uncle Steve (“For these types of things you call the professionals”). More tears from me—and the funeral director told what amounted to an anecdote about his own mother’s passing as a way to lighten the mood. Later, Jonah would ask, “You think he tells the same story at every funeral?”

He probably does tell the same story. Because it’s always the same story. Loss is loss. Grief is grief. He can tell us all about how it will only be “a little while—hopefully not too soon! (haha)” before we see our loved one again in the metaphysical afterlife, but, believers or non-believers, it does not take away the pain of the present moment.

Even so, the funeral was over, and it was time to pack up the cars full of flowers and photo albums and an urn, and head over to Q’s for the reception, where the menu was Italian-American to the max, including what my vegetarian brother described, accurately, as a “meat salad.”

The remainder of the days in Chicago were for hanging out. Being together. One-by-one, people flew home, and I stayed until Tuesday so that this “hanging out” would not be rushed. My cousin Jeremy took Friday and Monday off work, as far as I could tell, just to hang out with me. In many ways, this trip was an extension of my summer trip back to the U.S. No matter how far I fling myself out in the world, the Great Magnet always reels me in, back to Chicago, back to Oregon, back to the Rocky Mountain West, back to the Pacific Ocean, back to Doug fir trees, sand dunes, and the coastal river valleys, where campfire smoke always drifts downwind, and where an ageless youth laughs out loud, in a cackle, at the glee and sheer terror of catching a crawdad.

CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

The final half of December I spent with Ani as we celebrated the Christmas spirit at three locations throughout Transylvania, in Romania, each place unique. The first place, Sinaia, is known for its mountain peaks on all sides. We intended to go skiing, but the snow report stunk, so we went hiking instead. Then we moved on to Cund, a small, quiet village in what is known as the Saxon part of Romania, a place with a strong German heritage, and fortified churches. We sat by a roasting wood-stove, watched movies, and went on a meandering ridge-line hike in the mist. Finally we moved on to Sibiu, a small city that resembles a storybook German village than anything you typically find in Romania. They have one of the largest Christmas Markets in Eastern Europe, and it is exquisitely framed by a picture-postcard square, with buildings that have droopy eyelid windows in the roof, so it looks like you are being watched.

And, who knows, maybe we are being watched over.

There is much to be thankful for in the year 2019. For me, a solid job I am passionate about, a fiancée who sticks by my side through thick and thin, and the good health to still run my legs through the forest at a fast speed, rabid dogs notwithstanding.

There is so much to look forward to in 2020, up to and including:

In February, travel to Ethiopia, with a group of five other colleagues

In March, Ani’s cousin’s wedding, in Togliatti, Russia

In April, travel to Armenia, to visit my newly adopted motherland

In June, our family wedding in Sagres, Portugal

In July, a possible bike tour :))

I welcome this new decade, like a new chapter, with open arms.

[theglintoftherail]

I know a lot of people are pretty ambivalent about the detour that The Adventure Zone is taking right now, but I think it is absolutely the right decision for the show at this point - possibly the only decision that could have balanced meeting the demands of the narrative with respecting the autonomy of the players and the emotional weight of the characters.

Obviously a shitton of spoilers below:

The thing is, Griffin has said that he developed this basic story concept by the end of the first arc. And back then, the main characters were just barely becoming actual characters - they were vehicles for Griffin's family to make goofs. So Griffin thought "ooh you know what would be cool? If these guys were secretly mind-wiped scientists from an alternate dimension," and I kind of doubt it even crossed his mind to consider the personal emotional implications of that choice on Magnus, Merle, and Taako. Why would he? Their characters didn't have that kind of weight behind them - and when they launched this game, they weren't attempting to develop characters with that kind of weight behind them. And then the guys grew into their characters, and their backstories got fleshed out, and they all started to actually genuinely care about it all, and they saw how genuinely invested their fans were getting and it made them get MORE invested, and now Magnus and Merle and Taako and a boatload of Griffin's NPCs are genuinely beloved characters and millions of people are dying to find out what happens to them. And even more than that, Travis, Justin, and Clint have themselves become obviously emotionally attached to their characters. And then Griffin found himself in a situation where the entire, pre-existing narrative foundation of the show, which was developed for his brothers and dad to make boner jokes in while pretending to be adventurers, now hinged on totally rewriting the backstories of fully realized and beloved characters who were essentially 'written' by other people without any knowledge of that backstory. And he was going to have a drop a bomb on all three of them and the entire audience and say "...um, actually, the versions of Magnus Merle and Taako you have fallen in love with are not the actual Magnus Merle and Taako, so now you all have to start playing them as essentially different people with different skills, life histories, relationships, knowledge, etc." I mean, jesus, can you even imagine? Once it became clear that the show had evolved beyond the initial concept and Griffin realized all this, he must have started absolutely scrambling for some way to avoid essentially overwriting and erasing all of the main characters. 

If the show today was still the show it had been back in Gerblins, I think Travis, Justin, and Clint would have been like "woo, awesome, we're space explorers now, what a fun surprise, let’s get on with this final boss battle!" But now it's like, "what impact does this reveal have on the way that my lonely childhood created a foundation for my fundamental distrust of others?" There is no way Griffin could have predicted that this would happen. And so he came up with this flashback arc. And I am 100% on board with it, because I personally think it's a great way of threading the needle and giving Travis, Justin, and Clint the agency over their characters which the IPRE reveal would otherwise have taken away. Griffin couldn't have just told them "you lived out this 100-year journey and now you remember all of it" at this point - he had to find a way to allow them to actually live it out themselves, and to have their actions during that time matter in some way for the story going forward, in the most efficient way he possibly could. And I have enough confidence in him at this point to believe him when he says that the outcomes of this flashback stuff will actually affect the final showdown. Of the three of them, I think Travis grasped the purpose of all this the most quickly, because he immediately turned himself into a recognizably less mature version of Magnus, in a deliberate contrast to his recent character development. To me that shows that he's embracing the idea that these flashback episodes aren't just exposition dumps - they're a chance for the players to form their own 'memories' rather than having them foisted on them by Griffin.

[proofthatihaveaheart]

end of year 2019 recs

this was meant to be posted two months ago and then it got buried in my drafts and i forgot that it existed while i started a new fic rec list for the first quarter of this year oops

[1 Borderlands, 1 Good Omens, 1 Life is Strange, 1 Marvel, 1 She-Ra, 9 Steven Universe, 1 Tangled, 1 The Adventure Zone, 1 The Last of Us, 2 The Umbrella Academy]

Borderlands

Burn Out by snufflyphoenix (VH1 gang, 5k):  As Mordecai and Brick prepare to ship out to Athenas as the Crimson Raiders' B Team with Not So Tiny Tina, Lilith worries about their safety and starts to wonder how she's going to manage without them now she's gotten so used to them always being with her again. She contemplates their relationship; how it's changed since when they first met and how they're going to manage going forwards with the world turned upside down again. [This fic balances tenderness and comfort and grief so well while capturing the dynamics between these characters and I just really love it.] 

Good Omens

Choose Your Faces Wisely by Poetry (Aziraphale/Crowley, 5k):  In a world where humans wear their souls on the outside, Crowley and Aziraphale learn to make their own. [Daemon AU! It’s well-written with lots of references, cool concepts about the daemons of supernatural beings, and strong character moments.]

Life is Strange

migratory animals by swapcats (Chloe/Max, 11k): “Here,” you say, tossing the photo her way. “Check it out. Blackwell was insane for kicking me out, right?”You give her your best grin. It’s not very good, but she’s not looking, anyway. She twists the photo in her hands, turns it upright, and does nothing but blink at it.For a moment, you’re scared she’s going to fall in. Not because it’s a photo -- it isn’t even of her, isn’t more than a few hours in the past -- but because you’re more convinced than terrified that she’s just going to up and vanish. If it’s not time-bullshit, then it’ll be her having enough of putting up with your bullshit; she’s got her family out there, over in Seattle, and you’ve got a beat up truck and a few thousand dollars to your name. [Road trip fic! Full of pining and a careful exploration of their traumas and healing, it serves as a perfect epilogue to their adventure]

Marvel

dance, dance (we’re falling apart to half-time) by gleesquid (Gwen/MJ, 4k): “We were going to go dancing. Peter and I, I mean. We could still go. You and me, that is, it’s not like we need Peter to dance, or any boys at all, and he’s not very good anyways –,”“Gwen Stacy,” Mary Jane said and Gwen faltered at the sound of her own name on foreign lips. “It’s like you read my mind.”Or: Gwen and MJ will always be each other's favorite dance partner. [A perfect fic about Gwen and MJ’s growing friendship and feelings, with lots of dancing thrown in. The build-up is fantastic and it’s romantic and it’s very much them.]

She-ra

I Can Make You Stronger by inkubusmb (Glimmer, 7k): "You can really make me that powerful?""You think of yourself only as a princess, but you're the child of a great sorcerer. You have a more powerful connection to magic then you've ever realized. Let me show you."Shadow Weaver couldn't be trusted. Glimmer knew that.But after losing her mother, she knew she had to get stronger. Strong enough to protect her friends from the same fate. Strong enough to destroy the Horde.And Shadow Weaver was the only one who could give her that power. [A neat character study of something that very well might happen in s4 - Glimmer learning magic from Shadow Weaver.]

Steven Universe

Before We Turn to Dust by Mintly (Ruby/Sapphire, 6k): Their days were dirt roads and endless blue sky. It would be freedom, except it wasn't. Sapphire is a quiet country storefront and Ruby dreams. [Human!AU set in a small rural town. The writing is beautiful, the relationship and yearning between Sapphire and Ruby comes through clearly, and the atmosphere shines. It’s really good and even if you’re not a human AU fan, you should check it out.]

Cleave by susan_voight, thingswithwings (Ruby/Sapphire, 8k): “Tell me a story,” Steven asks, as he shuts his eyes. Garnet, as far as she has the capacity for it, is surprised; Steven is seventeen, and while he still has a tendency towards whimsy, he hasn’t asked for this particular indulgence for years. Not since he was a lot smaller. Garnet feels a little angry at herself for not having noticed that earlier; she feels regretful, too, that she can never seem to see any part of Steven’s adulthood coming in advance. [Garnet tells Steven a story about Ruby and Sapphire and the time they had to separate for a mission. It’s absolutely lovely, a great study of their relationship and how they grow to be even stronger.]

Little Rebellions by CompletelyDifferent (gen, 58k):  Not all Pearls have the chance to run off to another planet and take up arms. Not all fights are grand and romantic. These are the little rebellions- little, but just as defiant. [A wonderful set of interconnected one-shots centered around themes of rebellion and freedom. And all the good world-building! I loved them all.]

Only Human by mllelaurel (gen, 23k):  When a malfunctioning artifact temporarily (they hope!) turns them all human, the Gems must face down a monster infestation, while dealing with the loss of their normal powers and their own sudden fragility. [This very much reads like a multi-episode arc and it’s absolutely delightful. The insecurities and vulnerabilities the Gems struggle with are ones that are always there, but they’ve been magnified and brought to the surface with their human state and it’s just really well-done.] 

Pushing By Like Hearts by mautadite (Lapis/Peridot, 13k): “Sounds like you’re really counting on that road trip magic.”(Peridot and Lapis do Midway City, and Empire City, and Plateau Ville, and all the places in between.) [Peridot and Lapis go on a road trip and it’s wonderful. Love the imagery, the development of their relationship, and the characterization.]

starwalker’s birthday by the_sockpuppet (Pearl/Garnet, 11k):  Garnet wonders if she is Rose’s replacement. Pearl wonders how Garnet could love her. [I love this fic and the way it navigates their relationship and all the insecurities they bring along to it. The focus is very much on communication and being open and working through things, and it’s very good.]

the meek shall inherit the earth by Ushio (Pearl gen, 958): "Where was her Pearl?" asks Blue Zircon. Well. She was holding the sword. [Even though this was supremely jossed, it makes for a good, poetic read.]

Waltz of the Nian by QuickYoke (Lapis/Peridot, 6k): Lapis doesn't understand fusion at heart, but she does know she's an unideal partner for it. Set after the season 3 finale. [A character study of Lapis and her relationship to fusion, and the moments when Lapis almost fuses with Peridot. It’s well-written and it handles the subject of trauma + navigating boundaries and intimacy beautifully.]

where we love is home by possibilityleft (Pearl/Garnet, 532): "You're looking at me differently now," Garnet says.Slight Pearl/Garnet. Post-regeneration for them both, Garnet and Pearl have a discussion. [Early rebellion days, a short conversation that holds a lot inside it.] 

Tangled the Series

strings by pathygen (Cassandra-centric, 19k):  The weight of the stone should be concerning, but it’s not. She’s never been unfamiliar with weight. [This fic is a fascinating exploration of what could happen with the Moonstone and the ghost. It’s also a fascinating story of becoming lost in your own anger and insecurity, how that can twist you and make you someone you’re not. It’s dark and painful and I read it in one sitting because I couldn’t tear myself away from what was going on. It’s also a slow build to the final confrontation, which is stunning and one of my favorite moments in any fics I’ve read this year.] 

The Adventure Zone 

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow by fishycorvid (Taako-centric, 28k): The funeral of one of the birds should have more attendants than this, some part of Taako thinks. But Magnus hadn’t wanted that, of course; he’d told Taako as much decades ago, just a few years after the Day of Story and Song. Taako had laughed then, told him he’d regret it when there weren’t any adoring fans weeping and tossing flowers into his grave. Taako isn’t laughing now, here in this clearing with the body that used to be his friend. (What comes after the end.) [As you might expect from the summary and warning about character death,this fic is painful. You will cry and your heart will hurt. But it’s also very well-written and a beautiful exploration of grief and having to live on and how sometimes things don’t work. Sometimes you pretend you’re fine but you’re not, you’re on a self-destructive spiral. That said, it’s also juxtaposed with some really lovely moments between Taako and his family, his friends. Highly recommend!] 

The Last of Us

landscape by januarys (gen, 854): It's the moments that define who they are, the spaces in between, and as the seasons fade into one. [A lovely stream of moments over the course of the game between Joel and Ellie.]

The Umbrella Academy

Keep Trying by pprfaith (Vanya & Klaus, 8k): At thirteen, a drunk Klaus goes wandering the mansion instead of locking himself into his room. Seventeen years down the line, he saves the world. In between, they're all just trying not to drown. (Klaus and Vanya against the world.) [This fic is lovely and healing and imagines a different world where things are still messed up because Reginald is the worst dad but there’s also support and comfort and learning how to trust.]

Try Again by pprfaith (gen, 57k):   They have outlived their father. They've managed to fix themselves. A little. Sort of. So from here on out, things should be peachy, right? [The Hargreeves get the healing and recovery they deserve, lots of good sibling dynamics, confronting what Reginald did to them, I really love this fic.]

[cinedave]

REVIEW: Paddington 2 - Complete and Utter Magic!

I’ve always hated the stigma around going to the cinema alone but understand why many prefer to see a film with company. For them, it adds to the experience and makes in more memorable. In truth I see most films solo but that doesn’t make their experience any less memorable for me. I still strongly remember seeing the first Paddington film 3 years ago. I’d had such a bad day going into it but the film was such a wonderful feel good experience that I left feeling fantastic. Part of me almost missed that in the run up to its sequel; knowing I was unlikely to feel the same again.... only I did. Earlier that day I received a rather horrible that email from a random stranger in the US (getting my email address from a website) about how he hated my writing in a few vile sentences. Needless to say, I wasn’t feeling my usual self afterwards so I went for it. That evening I went in to Paddington 2, hoping to find that same magic once more. To find a film that would make those feelings go away.... and I did. The marmalade connoisseur bear is back with another outstanding broad appealing family film. This is the kind of film you’ll have to work extremely hard not to fall in love with.

The London dwelling bear, Paddington Brown (Ben Wishaw – Cloud Atlas, Spectre) wants to buy his Aunt Lucy an antique book for her birthday. When their neighbour and fading actor Phoenix Buchanan (Hugh Grant – Every 90s dithering English guy) believes the book is more than it seems, getting it will a become a hard time.

The returning director and co-writer Paul King clearly has no shortage of love for his work as he effortlessly recaptures the feel of his first film’s well made and creative simplicity. There’s nothing complex about the story, being a straightforward mcguffin affair with steady easy to follow plot points. Neither is there anything to understand about its open book of a central character; a young bear trying to be kind and polite in a world that often isn’t. That allows the film to develop into excellent situational based material whether that’s a small comedic barber shop scene or the film’s feature attraction of Paddington being sent to prison. The strengths of characters and dialogue shine through and make us care about what the feature cast are doing rather than where they’re going. Its tone is pitch perfect. It’s silly but never stupid, balancing slapstick with smart wit. It’s heartfelt but never sappy, creating meaningful emotional moments throughout the film but never sustaining sadness by remaining upbeat. A manliness warning; a couple points will have you fighting back the tears so tell your girlfriend you’ve got a sore eye before the film starts.

One of the many returning strengths is the excellent visuals and inventive transitions between scenes. A standout early sequence depicting Paddington and Aunt Lucy inside the featured book is a beautiful homage to the card cut out animation of the 1970s TV show. It turns the film into a stunning blend of reality and Paddington’s imagination blended seamlessly before our eyes. While there some our interesting adaptations on first film sequences there’s plenty of originality and the film always feels like it’s got something else up its blue duffle coat. There’s more action you’d expect too, from a standout early chase of Paddington riding a Wolfhound like The Lone Ranger to a rather elaborate CG heavy climax. The latter in particular is a testament to the film’s quality because despite being a clear step out of the film’s comfort zone it doesn’t feel out of place. Admittedly, by that point you’re so entranced within Paddington’s world that he could be fighting off sharks in space with a light sabre chainsaw and you’d happilly roll with it.

Paddington 2 is essentially a comedy sequel and as such comes with some repeating and recurring material. There are more great film references along this journey. The aforementioned prison scenes have many excellent visual nods to The Grand Budapest Hotel. There’s a genius little Chaplin inclusion and several others to spot. A number of gags and minor characters are cleverly recycled and adapted from the first film. However, that does bring me to my one solitary criticism. Maybe it’s a bear thing but Paddington 2 does a Ted 2. It needlessly brings Peter Capaldi’s Mr Curry back is a minor villain and times it feels like the film is merely making excuses to fit him in.

Thankfully Curry is not only villain as Hugh Grant is an utter camp delight as Phoenix Buchanan, throwing himself wholeheartedly into the role and every costume change along the way. All the returning Brown family impress with each their own small but rewarding character arc. We have son Jamie trying to be cooling before realising that it’s ok to be himself. While daughter Judy is budding journalist, playing ideally into the investigations into clearing Paddington; joined by mother Mary’s (Sally Hawkins – Blue Jasmine) craving adventure after a summer of illustrating it in stories. Finally we have Hugh Bonneville’s (Downton Abbey) Mr Brown being given a mid-life crisis have fun with... and indeed he does. Add superb supporting roles and cameos from British talent like Brendan Gleeson, Jim Broadbent, Richard Ayoade, Jessica Hynes, Joanna Lumley and many more to create this lovable local community.

They’ve really got something here with this franchise as this sequel denounces notions of being a one off success. Despite some pop culture references they carry a real timeless feel that, dare I say it, sets that out to become modern classics. These are the kind of films young adults will be watching now then happily again with their kids somewhere down the road. It may be too soon to judge but this sequel does feel like it has surpassed its original. While I hope that I’ll be a bit happier going to see the already confirmed 3rd film; it’s comforting to know it will raise my spirits if required. A bear is for more than just Christmas adverts. Young or old, this film will take good care of you.

[healthylifepage]

DOWNHILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH EE!

A fortnight ago, I had an outrageously exciting adventure; I headed to Machynlleth, in North-West Wales to take part in the Red Bull Fox Hunt, the world’s only all-female downhill mountain biking event (N.B, there were no 4-legged foxes involved, only 2-legged ones on bikes!). Regularly cycling along the leafy roads of suburban North London and growing up biking about the idyllic Swedish countryside I mistakenly thought I probably had this covered and that it would be pretty easy; not for the last time, I somewhat misjudged it! The course was remote, cold, muddy, unbelievably slippery and the mountains were terrifyingly steep at speed; imagine trying to get traction whilst cycling through chocolate slurry… Why did I do it? EE invited me to go somewhere with absolutely no coverage, so that they could show how their 4G ‘Helikite’ can deliver superfast 4G to my smartphone in the most remote places.  This was a super muddy experiment for me to prove the thesis. Click MORE to see how I got on during the downhill (clue; my shoes became ‘collateral damage’!)…

1)    SETTING THE SCENE…

This was an event powered by EE’s superfast 4G network which allowed me to use my phone for calls, texts, and planning/checking my route. Whilst travelling to Mach (as the locals affectionately – and pronounceably – nickname it), there was a point at which signal simply stopped on the train. The more rural we got, the less likely it was that I’d be able to check emails, have a flutter on social media or even make calls. That absence of what you might take for granted, the ability to communicate on demand, was quite surprisingly paralyzing as if a sense has been temporarily muted. With that in mind, it was quite amazing to find myself standing on top of the mountains in rural Wales only to receive a good luck call before heading down the track!

Rachel Atherton, last year’s winner, and MTB pro designed the route. Unfortunately, she had a cracked rib and for that reason was unable to take part, but she was there cheering competitors along. This year’s winner was Millie Johnset who was the first down the hill with a dominant, fear-inducing and presumably reckless time of 00.03.50, outperforming 2nd place by a prodigious margin of 33 seconds!

2)    WHY CYCLE?

Cycling is one of my favourite ways to travel around as it not only gets me there, but I can do some bonus cardio training in the process. It burns calories (c. 120 calories per mile), elevates the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, eases the risk of cardiovascular disease and it’s pretty soft on the environment too! Compared to running, which puts a lot of strain on the body (especially the knees), cycling is very low impact exercise and is kinder to your joints. It builds stamina and strength, with fewer injuries along the way. If you’re worried about losing precious muscle mass because of the CV, cycling actually develops muscle, especially in the lower body as power is generated by the quadriceps, hamstrings, and glutes, which will fuel additional calorie burn even after the journey has ended. It will also stimulate the production of HGH (human growth hormone), and remember, muscle burns more calories at rest than fat, so this is a form of exercise that keeps on giving!

However, this event evidently wasn’t about road biking. MTB is a completely different ball game; in fact, it’s not actually a ball game. Enthusiasts who’ve invested thousands of pounds into their bikes, gathered from all over the UK, pitched tents overnight in a muddy, sodden field surrounded by cute local sheep so that they could get on their bikes early in the morning in the rain, to cycle up a mountain and then hurl themselves back down again! That’s dedication, passion and enthusiasm from a super involved community!

3)   MY TAKE…

a) OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE… Whilst it was indeed cold, wet and rainy and the mud only got muddier, it was also super invigorating to be out there! For lack of a better example, it a little bit like the time when you’re standing beside a lake and you’re already cold and you’re debating whether to get colder and wetter by jumping in…. then you do it and it feels great! You just have to plough on and hope for the best!

b) Brings people together, a diverse crowd. This was my first experience within the community, and MTB is, I would say, a fairly niche discipline. Yes, it’s pretty accessible for everyone but for this event, you either live nearby or have gone out of your way to pursue this passion.This became apparent when looking around I saw energetic women of all ages and different fitness levels who all had different reasons for being there. One woman I spoke to said she wanted to lose weight but wanted a real outdoorsy challenge and another said she’d divorced her husband and wanted to just do something different.

c) It’s challenging, exhilarating and for anyone looking for a bit of adrenaline look no further! The closeness to nature combined with the speed and knife-edge approach to balance is a recipe for a natural high!

d) Intense cardiovascular training, whilst being low impact. It’s cardiovascular training with natural intervals. The terrain constantly changes, you may be going downhill, uphill, pitching left and right, whereby speed and resistance changes. This means you’ll have times of heavy resistance, so your legs burn and are seriously challenged. Interval training gets the heart rate up toasts more calories in less time. This is serious leg training targeting the gluteus as well, so you may experience soreness the next couple of days if this is something you’re not used too.

e) It’s affordable. You can rent bikes of varying technical credentials, and at different price levels but that’s a one-off investment. You don’t need a membership, you literally can cycle anywhere – endless freedom! I probably wouldn’t bring a Boris Bike to this sort of event though…

f) TOURISM! It means you see new parts of the world. Whether it be your city or the countryside, it gets you out in the open, fresh air and stimulation!

4) DID I GET SIGNAL?

Despite being off the grid, with no network coverage, in the rural outback of the remote Welsh countryside, EE’s ‘Airmast’ balloon showered an arcing dome of superfast 4G signal across the competition site, and beyond. With my smartphone tucked inside my jersey, I was in contact with whoever and whatever throughout. I was able to call, text and record-and-share my workout stats through the day. I took breaks during the hours of riding up, down and around the course, during which I could simply be in touch when needed – that’s a sense of freedom I very much appreciate, given how much the job relies on communication!

 ______________________

This post is a sponsored collaboration with EE. For more about why I take on such projects, please see my DISCLOSURE page. Thank you. 

The post DOWNHILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH EE! appeared first on Fitness on Toast.

DOWNHILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH EE! posted first on yummylooksbest.blogspot.com

[yolandadsims]

DOWNHILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH EE!

A fortnight ago, I had an outrageously exciting adventure; I headed to Machynlleth, in North-West Wales to take part in the Red Bull Fox Hunt, the world’s only all-female downhill mountain biking event (N.B, there were no 4-legged foxes involved, only 2-legged ones on bikes!). Regularly cycling along the leafy roads of suburban North London and growing up biking about the idyllic Swedish countryside I mistakenly thought I probably had this covered and that it would be pretty easy; not for the last time, I somewhat misjudged it! The course was remote, cold, muddy, unbelievably slippery and the mountains were terrifyingly steep at speed; imagine trying to get traction whilst cycling through chocolate slurry… Why did I do it? EE invited me to go somewhere with absolutely no coverage, so that they could show how their 4G ‘Helikite’ can deliver superfast 4G to my smartphone in the most remote places.  This was a super muddy experiment for me to prove the thesis. Click MORE to see how I got on during the downhill (clue; my shoes became ‘collateral damage’!)…

1)    SETTING THE SCENE…

This was an event powered by EE’s superfast 4G network which allowed me to use my phone for calls, texts, and planning/checking my route. Whilst travelling to Mach (as the locals affectionately – and pronounceably – nickname it), there was a point at which signal simply stopped on the train. The more rural we got, the less likely it was that I’d be able to check emails, have a flutter on social media or even make calls. That absence of what you might take for granted, the ability to communicate on demand, was quite surprisingly paralyzing as if a sense has been temporarily muted. With that in mind, it was quite amazing to find myself standing on top of the mountains in rural Wales only to receive a good luck call before heading down the track!

Rachel Atherton, last year’s winner, and MTB pro designed the route. Unfortunately, she had a cracked rib and for that reason was unable to take part, but she was there cheering competitors along. This year’s winner was Millie Johnset who was the first down the hill with a dominant, fear-inducing and presumably reckless time of 00.03.50, outperforming 2nd place by a prodigious margin of 33 seconds!

2)    WHY CYCLE?

Cycling is one of my favourite ways to travel around as it not only gets me there, but I can do some bonus cardio training in the process. It burns calories (c. 120 calories per mile), elevates the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, eases the risk of cardiovascular disease and it’s pretty soft on the environment too! Compared to running, which puts a lot of strain on the body (especially the knees), cycling is very low impact exercise and is kinder to your joints. It builds stamina and strength, with fewer injuries along the way. If you’re worried about losing precious muscle mass because of the CV, cycling actually develops muscle, especially in the lower body as power is generated by the quadriceps, hamstrings, and glutes, which will fuel additional calorie burn even after the journey has ended. It will also stimulate the production of HGH (human growth hormone), and remember, muscle burns more calories at rest than fat, so this is a form of exercise that keeps on giving!

However, this event evidently wasn’t about road biking. MTB is a completely different ball game; in fact, it’s not actually a ball game. Enthusiasts who’ve invested thousands of pounds into their bikes, gathered from all over the UK, pitched tents overnight in a muddy, sodden field surrounded by cute local sheep so that they could get on their bikes early in the morning in the rain, to cycle up a mountain and then hurl themselves back down again! That’s dedication, passion and enthusiasm from a super involved community!

3)   MY TAKE…

a) OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE… Whilst it was indeed cold, wet and rainy and the mud only got muddier, it was also super invigorating to be out there! For lack of a better example, it a little bit like the time when you’re standing beside a lake and you’re already cold and you’re debating whether to get colder and wetter by jumping in…. then you do it and it feels great! You just have to plough on and hope for the best!

b) Brings people together, a diverse crowd. This was my first experience within the community, and MTB is, I would say, a fairly niche discipline. Yes, it’s pretty accessible for everyone but for this event, you either live nearby or have gone out of your way to pursue this passion.This became apparent when looking around I saw energetic women of all ages and different fitness levels who all had different reasons for being there. One woman I spoke to said she wanted to lose weight but wanted a real outdoorsy challenge and another said she’d divorced her husband and wanted to just do something different.

c) It’s challenging, exhilarating and for anyone looking for a bit of adrenaline look no further! The closeness to nature combined with the speed and knife-edge approach to balance is a recipe for a natural high!

d) Intense cardiovascular training, whilst being low impact. It’s cardiovascular training with natural intervals. The terrain constantly changes, you may be going downhill, uphill, pitching left and right, whereby speed and resistance changes. This means you’ll have times of heavy resistance, so your legs burn and are seriously challenged. Interval training gets the heart rate up toasts more calories in less time. This is serious leg training targeting the gluteus as well, so you may experience soreness the next couple of days if this is something you’re not used too.

e) It’s affordable. You can rent bikes of varying technical credentials, and at different price levels but that’s a one-off investment. You don’t need a membership, you literally can cycle anywhere – endless freedom! I probably wouldn’t bring a Boris Bike to this sort of event though…

f) TOURISM! It means you see new parts of the world. Whether it be your city or the countryside, it gets you out in the open, fresh air and stimulation!

4) DID I GET SIGNAL?

Despite being off the grid, with no network coverage, in the rural outback of the remote Welsh countryside, EE’s ‘Airmast’ balloon showered an arcing dome of superfast 4G signal across the competition site, and beyond. With my smartphone tucked inside my jersey, I was in contact with whoever and whatever throughout. I was able to call, text and record-and-share my workout stats through the day. I took breaks during the hours of riding up, down and around the course, during which I could simply be in touch when needed – that’s a sense of freedom I very much appreciate, given how much the job relies on communication!

  ______________________

This post is a sponsored collaboration with EE. For more about why I take on such projects, please see my DISCLOSURE page. Thank you. 

The post DOWNHILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH EE! appeared first on Fitness on Toast.

from Health And Fitness Updates http://fitnessontoast.com/2017/10/24/fitness-travel-wales-downhill-mountain-biking-ee-signal-iphone-8/

[muscledemandsrespect]

DOWNHILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH EE!

A fortnight ago, I had an outrageously exciting adventure; I headed to Machynlleth, in North-West Wales to take part in the Red Bull Fox Hunt, the world’s only all-female downhill mountain biking event (N.B, there were no 4-legged foxes involved, only 2-legged ones on bikes!). Regularly cycling along the leafy roads of suburban North London and growing up biking about the idyllic Swedish countryside I mistakenly thought I probably had this covered and that it would be pretty easy; not for the last time, I somewhat misjudged it! The course was remote, cold, muddy, unbelievably slippery and the mountains were terrifyingly steep at speed; imagine trying to get traction whilst cycling through chocolate slurry… Why did I do it? EE invited me to go somewhere with absolutely no coverage, so that they could show how their 4G ‘Helikite’ can deliver superfast 4G to my smartphone in the most remote places.  This was a super muddy experiment for me to prove the thesis. Click MORE to see how I got on during the downhill (clue; my shoes became ‘collateral damage’!)…

1)    SETTING THE SCENE…

This was an event powered by EE’s superfast 4G network which allowed me to use my phone for calls, texts, and planning/checking my route. Whilst travelling to Mach (as the locals affectionately – and pronounceably – nickname it), there was a point at which signal simply stopped on the train. The more rural we got, the less likely it was that I’d be able to check emails, have a flutter on social media or even make calls. That absence of what you might take for granted, the ability to communicate on demand, was quite surprisingly paralyzing as if a sense has been temporarily muted. With that in mind, it was quite amazing to find myself standing on top of the mountains in rural Wales only to receive a good luck call before heading down the track!

Rachel Atherton, last year’s winner, and MTB pro designed the route. Unfortunately, she had a cracked rib and for that reason was unable to take part, but she was there cheering competitors along. This year’s winner was Millie Johnset who was the first down the hill with a dominant, fear-inducing and presumably reckless time of 00.03.50, outperforming 2nd place by a prodigious margin of 33 seconds!

2)    WHY CYCLE?

Cycling is one of my favourite ways to travel around as it not only gets me there, but I can do some bonus cardio training in the process. It burns calories (c. 120 calories per mile), elevates the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, eases the risk of cardiovascular disease and it’s pretty soft on the environment too! Compared to running, which puts a lot of strain on the body (especially the knees), cycling is very low impact exercise and is kinder to your joints. It builds stamina and strength, with fewer injuries along the way. If you’re worried about losing precious muscle mass because of the CV, cycling actually develops muscle, especially in the lower body as power is generated by the quadriceps, hamstrings, and glutes, which will fuel additional calorie burn even after the journey has ended. It will also stimulate the production of HGH (human growth hormone), and remember, muscle burns more calories at rest than fat, so this is a form of exercise that keeps on giving!

However, this event evidently wasn’t about road biking. MTB is a completely different ball game; in fact, it’s not actually a ball game. Enthusiasts who’ve invested thousands of pounds into their bikes, gathered from all over the UK, pitched tents overnight in a muddy, sodden field surrounded by cute local sheep so that they could get on their bikes early in the morning in the rain, to cycle up a mountain and then hurl themselves back down again! That’s dedication, passion and enthusiasm from a super involved community!

3)   MY TAKE…

a) OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE… Whilst it was indeed cold, wet and rainy and the mud only got muddier, it was also super invigorating to be out there! For lack of a better example, it a little bit like the time when you’re standing beside a lake and you’re already cold and you’re debating whether to get colder and wetter by jumping in…. then you do it and it feels great! You just have to plough on and hope for the best!

b) Brings people together, a diverse crowd. This was my first experience within the community, and MTB is, I would say, a fairly niche discipline. Yes, it’s pretty accessible for everyone but for this event, you either live nearby or have gone out of your way to pursue this passion.This became apparent when looking around I saw energetic women of all ages and different fitness levels who all had different reasons for being there. One woman I spoke to said she wanted to lose weight but wanted a real outdoorsy challenge and another said she’d divorced her husband and wanted to just do something different.

c) It’s challenging, exhilarating and for anyone looking for a bit of adrenaline look no further! The closeness to nature combined with the speed and knife-edge approach to balance is a recipe for a natural high!

d) Intense cardiovascular training, whilst being low impact. It’s cardiovascular training with natural intervals. The terrain constantly changes, you may be going downhill, uphill, pitching left and right, whereby speed and resistance changes. This means you’ll have times of heavy resistance, so your legs burn and are seriously challenged. Interval training gets the heart rate up toasts more calories in less time. This is serious leg training targeting the gluteus as well, so you may experience soreness the next couple of days if this is something you’re not used too.

e) It’s affordable. You can rent bikes of varying technical credentials, and at different price levels but that’s a one-off investment. You don’t need a membership, you literally can cycle anywhere – endless freedom! I probably wouldn’t bring a Boris Bike to this sort of event though…

f) TOURISM! It means you see new parts of the world. Whether it be your city or the countryside, it gets you out in the open, fresh air and stimulation!

4) DID I GET SIGNAL?

Despite being off the grid, with no network coverage, in the rural outback of the remote Welsh countryside, EE’s ‘Airmast’ balloon showered an arcing dome of superfast 4G signal across the competition site, and beyond. With my smartphone tucked inside my jersey, I was in contact with whoever and whatever throughout. I was able to call, text and record-and-share my workout stats through the day. I took breaks during the hours of riding up, down and around the course, during which I could simply be in touch when needed – that’s a sense of freedom I very much appreciate, given how much the job relies on communication!

  ______________________

This post is a sponsored collaboration with EE. For more about why I take on such projects, please see my DISCLOSURE page. Thank you. 

The post DOWNHILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH EE! appeared first on Fitness on Toast.

from Fitness on Toast http://ift.tt/2y1RQBe via IFTTT

[rebeccaflaneus]

DOWNHILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH EE!

A fortnight ago, I had an outrageously exciting adventure; I headed to Machynlleth, in North-West Wales to take part in the Red Bull Fox Hunt, the world’s only all-female downhill mountain biking event (N.B, there were no 4-legged foxes involved, only 2-legged ones on bikes!). Regularly cycling along the leafy roads of suburban North London and growing up biking about the idyllic Swedish countryside I mistakenly thought I probably had this covered and that it would be pretty easy; not for the last time, I somewhat misjudged it! The course was remote, cold, muddy, unbelievably slippery and the mountains were terrifyingly steep at speed; imagine trying to get traction whilst cycling through chocolate slurry… Why did I do it? EE invited me to go somewhere with absolutely no coverage, so that they could show how their 4G ‘Helikite’ can deliver superfast 4G to my smartphone in the most remote places.  This was a super muddy experiment for me to prove the thesis. Click MORE to see how I got on during the downhill (clue; my shoes became ‘collateral damage’!)…

1)    SETTING THE SCENE…

This was an event powered by EE’s superfast 4G network which allowed me to use my phone for calls, texts, and planning/checking my route. Whilst travelling to Mach (as the locals affectionately – and pronounceably – nickname it), there was a point at which signal simply stopped on the train. The more rural we got, the less likely it was that I’d be able to check emails, have a flutter on social media or even make calls. That absence of what you might take for granted, the ability to communicate on demand, was quite surprisingly paralyzing as if a sense has been temporarily muted. With that in mind, it was quite amazing to find myself standing on top of the mountains in rural Wales only to receive a good luck call before heading down the track!

Rachel Atherton, last year’s winner, and MTB pro designed the route. Unfortunately, she had a cracked rib and for that reason was unable to take part, but she was there cheering competitors along. This year’s winner was Millie Johnset who was the first down the hill with a dominant, fear-inducing and presumably reckless time of 00.03.50, outperforming 2nd place by a prodigious margin of 33 seconds!

2)    WHY CYCLE?

Cycling is one of my favourite ways to travel around as it not only gets me there, but I can do some bonus cardio training in the process. It burns calories (c. 120 calories per mile), elevates the heart rate, lowers blood pressure, eases the risk of cardiovascular disease and it’s pretty soft on the environment too! Compared to running, which puts a lot of strain on the body (especially the knees), cycling is very low impact exercise and is kinder to your joints. It builds stamina and strength, with fewer injuries along the way. If you’re worried about losing precious muscle mass because of the CV, cycling actually develops muscle, especially in the lower body as power is generated by the quadriceps, hamstrings, and glutes, which will fuel additional calorie burn even after the journey has ended. It will also stimulate the production of HGH (human growth hormone), and remember, muscle burns more calories at rest than fat, so this is a form of exercise that keeps on giving!

However, this event evidently wasn’t about road biking. MTB is a completely different ball game; in fact, it’s not actually a ball game. Enthusiasts who’ve invested thousands of pounds into their bikes, gathered from all over the UK, pitched tents overnight in a muddy, sodden field surrounded by cute local sheep so that they could get on their bikes early in the morning in the rain, to cycle up a mountain and then hurl themselves back down again! That’s dedication, passion and enthusiasm from a super involved community!

3)   MY TAKE…

a) OUT OF THE COMFORT ZONE… Whilst it was indeed cold, wet and rainy and the mud only got muddier, it was also super invigorating to be out there! For lack of a better example, it a little bit like the time when you’re standing beside a lake and you’re already cold and you’re debating whether to get colder and wetter by jumping in…. then you do it and it feels great! You just have to plough on and hope for the best!

b) Brings people together, a diverse crowd. This was my first experience within the community, and MTB is, I would say, a fairly niche discipline. Yes, it’s pretty accessible for everyone but for this event, you either live nearby or have gone out of your way to pursue this passion.This became apparent when looking around I saw energetic women of all ages and different fitness levels who all had different reasons for being there. One woman I spoke to said she wanted to lose weight but wanted a real outdoorsy challenge and another said she’d divorced her husband and wanted to just do something different.

c) It’s challenging, exhilarating and for anyone looking for a bit of adrenaline look no further! The closeness to nature combined with the speed and knife-edge approach to balance is a recipe for a natural high!

d) Intense cardiovascular training, whilst being low impact. It’s cardiovascular training with natural intervals. The terrain constantly changes, you may be going downhill, uphill, pitching left and right, whereby speed and resistance changes. This means you’ll have times of heavy resistance, so your legs burn and are seriously challenged. Interval training gets the heart rate up toasts more calories in less time. This is serious leg training targeting the gluteus as well, so you may experience soreness the next couple of days if this is something you’re not used too.

e) It’s affordable. You can rent bikes of varying technical credentials, and at different price levels but that’s a one-off investment. You don’t need a membership, you literally can cycle anywhere – endless freedom! I probably wouldn’t bring a Boris Bike to this sort of event though…

f) TOURISM! It means you see new parts of the world. Whether it be your city or the countryside, it gets you out in the open, fresh air and stimulation!

4) DID I GET SIGNAL?

Despite being off the grid, with no network coverage, in the rural outback of the remote Welsh countryside, EE’s ‘Airmast’ balloon showered an arcing dome of superfast 4G signal across the competition site, and beyond. With my smartphone tucked inside my jersey, I was in contact with whoever and whatever throughout. I was able to call, text and record-and-share my workout stats through the day. I took breaks during the hours of riding up, down and around the course, during which I could simply be in touch when needed – that’s a sense of freedom I very much appreciate, given how much the job relies on communication!

  ______________________

This post is a sponsored collaboration with EE. For more about why I take on such projects, please see my DISCLOSURE page. Thank you. 

The post DOWNHILL IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, WITH EE! appeared first on Fitness on Toast.

from Donald Fitness Tips http://fitnessontoast.com/2017/10/24/fitness-travel-wales-downhill-mountain-biking-ee-signal-iphone-8/