#Court Reporters

[insert-inconspicuous-name-here]

[wizard-laundry]

QUICK REMINDER

In the US: threatening government officials is a felony under federal law (the president in particular is protected under 18 U.S.C. § 871). Even memes.

be careful with your jokes if they spill over to active officials.

[thenalssp]

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[swampthingking]

andrew’s definitely gotten in trouble with his pr manager for tweeting things along the lines of:

“no mania inducing medication will compare to the euphoria i will feel the day donald trump drops dead”

[budd-ie]

“Mu Qing is too logical for his own good” is such a real problem that he deals with and as tragic as it makes his life I also think it’s really funny when someone is accusing him of something and instead of telling them to shut up or leave him alone the first thing he does is pull out the 95 fucking theses detailing every single thing wrong with their argument WITH historical evidence and additional considerations from scholarly psychology articles, MLA format works cited and completely annotated. It could use an editor and some bias correction, but he actually makes a pretty good point. anyways tgcf ace attorney au when

[coffee-system-uwu]

Reporter: Neil, witnesses saw you and Andrew kissing, can you confirm your relationship?

Neil:

Andrew, looking at the picture: That's not me.

Reporter: The picture isn't edited, the man in it is clearly wearing your jersey?

Andrew: Jersey? For what?

Neil: Wait, Andrew you play a sport?

Andrew: Why would I? Hockey is a waste of my time and energy.

Reporter: But.... its... it's you in the picture?

Andrew: Why the hell would I kiss some dumbass like Josten? Besides I have an identical twin.

Reporter:

Neil:

2 hours later

Aaron: Why the FUCK am I on the news?

[bookburners]

I love how Neil wears ratty clothes to be inconspicuous but everyone immediately comments on how poorly he is dressed.

[gothamnewsnetwork-official]

Bernard Dowd cheating on Timothy Drake-Wayne and Astra Jordan-Queen with Red Robin?

https://www.tumblr.com/actuallyredrobin/759452099200303104/hi-im-just-here-to-say-im-a-big-fan-of-yours-and?source=share

Just look at the tags, this has happened more than once. and the reblogs..

Trouble in Paradise; Wayne’s finally in their breakup era?

Tonight we bring you not, but two stories of failed romances in the Wayne Family. Our first story up being the potential cheating occurring in the relationships of Wayne Enterprises (see related articles) newest (and youngest) CEO.

Earlier yesterday evening we were made aware of yet another potential scandal in the Wayne family’s love lives; the third Wayne son and current CEO of Wayne Enterprises, Timothy Drake-Wayne ( @timblrdrake ) (see related articles), may be getting cheated on.

The alleged cheater, Bernard Down ( @officialbernarddowd ) (see related articles), has been accused of two-timing both Mr. Drake-Wayne and their partner, Astra Hal-El ( @totally-not-soupernova ) (see related articles), with none other than one of our beloved city’s very own vigilantes.

Who is this masked home wrecker? None other than Red Robin ( @actuallyredrobin ) (see related articles), himself.

The alleged affair between Mr. Dowd and Red Robin has been going on for several weeks now, the earliest mention of it that we were able to find dating back to July this year.

This, however, is not unexpected given Mr. Dowd’s penchant for saying one thing yet doing another. The most recent example of this being his dramatic turn from priesthood in the Children of Dionysus (see related articles) to moonlighting as a Talon (see related articles) for the Court of Owls ( @court--of--owls ) (see related articles), seemingly without either parties prior knowledge.

Though Red Robin is adamantly denying this connection, Mr. Dowd has been unable to comment, neither have either of his partners, Mr. Drake-Wayne and Ms. Hal-El. We only hope that the young throuple are able to resolve this as soon as possible.

Our second story tonight comes from Mr. Bruce Thomas Wayne ( @officialbruciewayne ) (see related articles) himself, and his alleged split with this on-again off-again partner; Selina Kyle ( @selinakyl-ee ) (see related articles).

Their relationship has been known for many years, though when asked neither Mr. Wayne or Ms. Kyle could pinpoint an exact date, not even remembering at what time they met.

This however, is not the focus of our story. As of only a few days ago, the two have been rumoured to have called it quits. The split is, to the public, relatively sudden given their amicability whenever seen in public or asked of one another (see related articles). We sent an intern to interview Mr. Wayne on the matter, his response was greatly illuminating.

When asked on the nature of the split, Mr. Wayne stressed the fact that the breakup was mutual and that the two are still close. That being said he also found it prudent to mention that it was no fault of Ms. Kyle’s, stating directly -

“ It ended because she deserved more than I had to offer. ”

This comes after many a rumour that Mr. Wayne may be on the aromantic (see related articles) and/or asexual spectrum (see related articles). When asked, he responded that these were untrue, citing is many public relationships with both men and women (see related posts) as a counter.

Unfortunately, this rabbit hole of attempting to figure out the meaning of Mr. Wayne’s words has gotten us nothing but speculation, theories ranging from the tame to the ludicrous and bizarre (see related articles).

As all eyes are on the Wayne’s, we urge all readers to consider tuning in to the live broadcast of the Charity Gala being hosted by the family at the end of this month and consider donating to one of the many causes that will be presented, such as the Thomas and Martha Wayne Foundation where you can donate via website or at their email (donations@thomasmarthawaynefoundation.com).

Let us know your thoughts on the topic (here)

Gotham Reports is certified in unbiased, reliable, and fair journalism.

[ash-657]

Reporter: Do you have a favorite fox?

Abby: No! Of course not! They are all wonderful in their own ways!

——

Reporter: Do you have a favorite fox?

Wymack: Josten

Reporter: Any particular reason?

Wymack: None

[rexonalapis]

people who read sigewinne leaks... you don't talk enough about how she CANONICALLY SPIKED A TEENAGER'S DRINK. i love her. she's unhinged. best character in the game.

[truckowner]

2023 PETERBILT Conventional - Sleeper Truck, Tractor

[lavendersartistry]

Okay so Helluva situation recap + Update:

Helluva (@/guitarspear4ever / @/helluvaceo / @/fucknovalizpeace / @/helluvaceo4 / @/professionalcatnapsimp / @/helluvas-back2 / @/amber-luv-bugs2) had been previously harassing and stalking Nova (@novalizinpeace) and has been a major problem to mutuals of mine and to other people.

Link to OG Callout

Recently, someone threatened to dox him if he didn't leave people alone and he went quiet, giving us some peace.

But recently he has tried dming Onyx (@onyxonline), which Onyx refused and blocked.

He has not changed.

I was recently contacted that there is a "court" for Helluva, which personally is one of his alts trying to make him get pity points.

Onyx's responses:

Screenshots sent to Onyx:

Also another note that Helluva is starting to impersonate Amber (@/amberluvsbugs), saying racial slurs and reclaimed slurs (n-word is reclaimed by black people)

They have been recently harassing Spaghetti (@642spaghettiprincess).

I am going to be firm and hopefully this is the last time.

We keep telling you to stop interacting with Helluva. Do not give him the attention, he wants that. Block and report him.

Please listen to us.

[leroiestmortvivelareine]

Honestly Jean is pretty judgy for someone who just escaped from a dungeon.

He’s all ‘I’m Jean I can endure any form of torture’ then five seconds later it’s ‘CHEESE EXISTS! MAKE IT STOP!!’

Forms of torture Jean cannot in fact endure:

Being rescued from the torture dungeon

Soup

Neil

Airports

Yo-yos

Short people

Cardboard dogs

Colours

Shopping

Mispronunciation of French words

Inconsiderately hot people

Carbohydrates

His new teammates

His old teammates

Neil

Things Jean can endure:

Salad

Jeremy when he shuts up

What Kevin did with his non-dominant hand

What Riko did with his non-dominant hand

[officiallyossy-haywooddent]

...🪶

Hell yeah :)

Thanks!

[maskedchip]

slice of life 

[mixelation]

i am a scientist but i am also a true crime girlie. you cannot comprehend how many times a day i say shit like "a lack of evidence is not proof of innocence"