#Cynical Chaos

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

when I was still writing CC as a teenager and Rihanna came out with Rated R and I felt incredibly hard listening to it (as you do as a teenager with anything vaguely Bad Bitch sounding), I daydreamed this montage scene to G4L showing Ariana's descent into villainy and vengeance, with the apex 'She's So Far Gone' moment being her blowing up an alley with a civ in it without a second thought and Cool Guy Walking Away From The Explosion in slow motion, to the lowkey horror of 'Drea behind her

And when I was a kid I always daydreamed in the context of it being in the live-action version as an expanded scene because I couldn't find a way to fit it in the draft, and sometimes it's just the morale boost I need to remember that I figured out a way to include it in the end.

[fatedroses]

Tender meetings and harsh disciplining.

[hms-incorrect-quotes]

Soul: I can’t do this, it’s against my moral compass.

Mind: Your moral compass is a roulette wheel.

Soul: …Your point?

[disruptivevoib]

There are some things we are never meant to know

[ctrl-alt-deleting-yr-face]

okay to those of you who saw my last rb and care about my stupid guilty gear au. i NEED to rant right now. Massive long winded about bedkari (aka bedman x hikari, my stupid ship that’s part of reverie of rebirth) under the cut. Be warned they’re so toxic yuri

i just realized. The cornered pray analogy exactly how the dynamic between Romeo and Hikari is. The lamb preparing for their slaughter specifically is. Exactly them. But the thing is… The roles are swapped in a way.

Romeo, of course, has sheep elements. Those are a huge part of his design- Even in his canon story as well. He’s a lamb being led by a shepherd. He’s naively being led along by Ariels, she calms him when he rebels or lashes out against her, and she led him all the way to his eventual slaughter. He’s the lamb.

But with Hikari, he gets to be the shepherd.

Hikari is a yokai. She’s powerful. I wrote her to be powerful on purpose. She could be fatally wounded and survive, not even batting an eye due to her lack of pain receptors. Which she does. Right when she first meets Romeo. He tries to kill her, and yet she’s unfazed. She doesn’t care. She didn’t feel anything, and she knows she wants to be near him no matter what. All that’s important is pleasing him.

Basically all Hikari knows is Romeo. When she first met him and emotionally latched onto him, she had only recently awoken and still had all her emotions. All her emotions were developed around Romeo’s guidance and treatment of her, which basically just meant being his little assistant, aiding in his war crimes, and associating joy with his slightly harsh treatment.

All Hikari knows is showing her neck and stomach to Romeo.

When comparing the specific animal motifs of both Romeo and Hikari, it’s really fun to see the contrast. Hikari has the designs element of the predator animal, while Romeo has motifs of the prey. However, those roles are swapped in terms of their behavior. Romeo is abrasive and only begins to show care towards his yokai companion after months in his presence, while said companion innocently follows his commands and accepts anything he throws her way- Naively believing every word he says like it’s gospel. A little cat blindly loving the cruel shepherd. It’s a beautiful parallel that honestly was not intentional.

The sheep bares its teeth and bites into the neck of the two-tailed cat.

[therentyoupay]

50) If you could write only angst, fluff or smut for the rest of your writing life, which would it be and why?

ANGST.

fluff: thinking back to my answer for my headcanons re: well-established/long-term relationships, in which i said that i am not usually drawn to writing already-in-a-relationship!fics as much as i am to writing meet-cute/meet-PAIN!fics, i think the same applies here! my real life is quite fluffy. 🤣 so when i write "fluffier" bits (i.e., the highs) in my fics, they're usually balanced by the natural, realistic downs/lows of navigating relationships (whether they be nascent, developing, etc.). in other words, while i may include, appreciate, and enjoy fluffy(-ish) moments, i am personally not interested in writing or reading pure fluff. that said, i couldn't stop writing "fluffier" bits altogether, though, because i like exploring how highs and lows occur naturally in all kinds of relationships! (but if you'll make me choose, then okay, fine, "fluff" is the first thing to go. 🤣 byeeeeee~)

smut: similarly, this is about balance, for me! i have never personally written and don't really read PWP, for example; i love fics that are able to capture/explore/describe physical intimacy as a vehicle for emotional (dis)connection, personal and relationship growth (or lack thereof), and (lack of) closeness. these layers are what i try to portray and depict in my writing of more mature/intimate scenes, as well! 🙏 however, if i HAD to give up the use of more intimate scenes to showcase character and relationship development, then i would survive. 😂 showcasing this level of intimacy (or lack thereof) is not always necessary... (but... 😭)

angst: you can pry this style from my cold, dead hands. 💕💕

[andromeda3116]

"One day when I was a young boy on holiday in Uberwald, I was walking along the bank of a stream when I saw a mother otter with her cubs. A very endearing sight, I'm sure you will agree, and even as I watched, the mother otter dived into the water and came up with a plump salmon, which she subdued and dragged onto a half-submerged log. As she ate it, while of course it was still alive, the body split and I remember to this day the sweet pinkness of its roes as they spilled out, much to the delight of the baby otters who scrambled over themselves to feed on the delicacy. One of nature's wonders, gentlemen: mother and children dining upon mother and children. And that's when I first learned about evil. It is built into the very nature of the universe. Every world spins in pain. If there is any kind of supreme being, I told myself, it is up to all of us to become his moral superior."

--Lord Vetinari, Unseen Academicals by Terry Pratchett

[gothamcityneedsme]

Okay very odd detail that this Hunter can't remember the Reverse.

[ancicntforged]

I got a nice anon in the inbox just now and now i'm too suspicious things are going too well

[cynicism-and-idealism]

Chaos shows us the cracks.

[mollrat101]

Starting to become convinced Tai’s blood sacrifice of Biscuit to win State Senate worked a little too well because...

NO ONE gives that much of a shit about a state Senate election. It makes no sense she runs into 2 people who talk about voting for her, that blood magic is doing a bit too much and it’s embarrassing...

[whileyoureinschoolidothisallday]

The monsters never died. They took human hosts.

When Ariana Salem discovered she was one of them, she followed the rules:

Pretend to be normal and they won’t hurt you.

But a year after she was discovered, Ariana’s learned just how far humanity will fall to chase normality

--------

ASSUMING I GET INTO THE NEXT STAGE OF THE MENTOR APPLICATION, what do y'all think of this new pitch????

[semperardens-juli]

If Life's a tragedy and everything else is Chaos, I'll just hold on to loving you the best way that I know how.

by semperardens-juli

leave a little kindness (x)

[cynicallyscorned]

the reason cynic will never get a light super form... while it has a lot to do with the fact that he’s just that torn up inside and it’s not something so easily remedied, it’s also because i think that him learning to come to terms with who he is and finding PEACE with it is a lot more meaningful than rewarding him with a normal super state. his super form is part of his identity! it may be scary and destructive, it may be sad... but that’s still a part of him. and it’s still a part of sonic. him learning to sit with those awful feelings he experiences when he’s in this state... and learning to go ‘it’s okay. it’s okay that i’m like this. and this time, i won’t hurt anyone because of it.’ is so!!! bark bark bark bark.

he can learn to control it.... he can learn to be okay with it! he can learn to be okay with himself. 

but, it will take a lot of work.

[zmagpie]

I had a small sliver of wisdom run through me and I needed to speak with you.

stop fighting life so much, darling. stop it. the anxiety, it's eating your youth away. it's eating your health away. life is hard, life is hard. and the anxiety is coming from expecting it not to be. and then falling, and clutching your knees, and crying.

what if you entertained the thought that... life wasn't meant to be easy. it wasn't meant to be so straightforward, college, job, friends, partner, house, happiness. it isn't a linear path. it isn't easy.

and your pain? it's coming from expecting it to be. easy. "why is this happening to me?? why can't things be easy??"

it never was. yes the economy is particularly fucked now, and you know what, it has been particularly fucked in the past as well. and people survived. not all of them did. but the ones who were meant to, did. natural selection. in all forms baby. in all places. natural fucking selection.

and that's scary. yes it is. it is fucking hard. that's life. it's chaos. one chaos after the other. accept that. that's an axiom. the foundational truth on which everything else gets built.

I accepted it.

and you know what? it liberated me. it liberated my goddamn perfection seeking brain. a rude bagel vendor was enough to ruin my day at 8am. I was sensitive like that. fighting chaos everywhere everyday. I realized I didn't have to... when I accepted it.

there's two ways to go from here.

total utter cynicism. and hey, they survive as well. natural fucking selection. but they're not particularly happy. I haven't met a happy cynic yet. but they survive. they expect life to disappoint, and they feel in control when it does. okay. good enough?

no.

there's another way.

be chaotic yourself. don't give up on your values. your dreams, your ambitions, your optimism, your hope. be absolutely and utterly proactive with what you hold dear. and when life kicks you in the crotch (and it will), you should. kick back. be chaotic. steer. steer in the chaos. yes the plans you made didn't work. reevaluate your strategy and try again. and try something fucking chaotic. take risks. lots of things won't work out. it won't. but you have to try. be smart about the things you try. but try.

of course, I wish it were easy. college, job, love, life, happiness. it's not. and it isn't going to be.

Life Won't Be Easy, The Chaotic Will Thrive

[wickedzeevyln]

The Ballad of Highway Hughie

The tires burn leaving a trail into the night, he drives on. Every morning, I have to make sure that I groom myself—unkempt hair, stubbled chin, shirt perfumed with grease of last night’s takeout and a dash of I-don’t-care attitude, so I could draw attention to myself and provide unsolicited comments about how awful everything is and how terrible the world is. They don’t know that they only…