odazai :3c or if you've already been asked for it, then dazatsu!
I only have enough energy to do the Odazai one, Luka~ Since this ask is pretty long (nearly 4k!), here’s the gist if you’re unable to read the full version at this time:
Far from being a perfect couple, what’s emotionally intimate and personal about Dazai and Oda’s relationship is that despite their differences and their faults, they make strides in understanding each other and in recognizing each other’s boundaries. It’s not always perfect, there are mishaps and mistakes along the way, and certain things are a rather sore subject to them both. But something admirable and important to take away from this is that Dazai and Oda make an effort to listen to each other, to understand the undercurrent of tension and stress that lapses between them at times, and they’re both gradually moving forward with what they have learned and that adds vitality and strength to their relationship.
Send Me A Ship, And I’ll Tell You…
who is more likely to hurt the other?While it would seem contrary and even OOC for me to say this, I believe that Oda would be more likely to hurt Dazai. Before you stab me for my hearsay, let me explain. The term “hurt” can be used as an umbrella term for different types of pain: physical, emotional, mental, etc… Oda wouldn’t physically or mentally hurt Dazai. He has no reason to, and it’s not in his nature to lash out in those ways. The only pain that Oda ever dealt to Dazai was emotional.
We see this towards the end of the Dark Era arc when Oda bids his final farewell to his children before confronting Gide. In the silence of that moment, with desperation rising in his throat, we watch and listen as Dazai asks – no, pleads – for Oda to think this over and find something else to live for. For the first time, the demonic mask of the Port Mafia Executive falls. Left behind and hardly unscathed is the face of a child, of a young man who had nothing to live for but is desperately clinging onto the one person that his world wouldn’t be the same without. Despite all of this, despite this probably being the first time Dazai has ever broken from his usual composure, Oda tells him that he can’t do that.
To Oda, if he was to go back on this, his children would’ve died for nothing. Their deaths would forever haunt him if he couldn’t avenge for them, himself. What’s even more emotionally painful about this scene is that this is one of the few, poignant moments where Oda doesn’t yield to Dazai’s words. It’s hard to put up a nonchalant front and casually go along with what your friend is saying when you’ve lost some of the most important people in your world. With that established and mutually understood, Oda leaves behind a gaping hole within Dazai’s heart before departing from the scene.
But even if we forget that canon exists and we’re lawlessly frolicking through the land of AU, I still stand by the idea that Oda is more likely to emotionally hurt Dazai. Not in a sense where there’s a lack of respect or trust in the relationship, not in a sense where everything’s on the rocks and hearts are on edge, but in the sense of honesty. Of the duo, Oda is more of an honest man and Dazai knows this. So when Oda says something, the weight behind his words is even heavier because there’s no hidden agenda to obscure anything. Oda means what he says. So sometimes, whether intentional or not, what he says hurts.
Dazai isn’t someone who’d flourish his heart at his sleeve. Or in other words, he’d rarely admit if he was hurt by something Oda had said. I’d imagine that Dazai would take Oda’s words into consideration and resolve to do better if disappointment is what’s lingering in the air. Having known him for a considerable amount of time, Oda would notice the slight shift in Dazai’s words and body language and realize that he had hurt him.
who is emotionally stronger?At a first glance, it seems 50/50. Oda and Dazai both possess an incredible amount of resilience and resolve, so I have no idea who would be emotionally stronger than the other! I’d say that they’re both equals when it comes to this^^
who is physically stronger?At first glance, you’d think it’s Oda. Former-assassin, former glorified handyman of the Port Mafia, and probably dragged a very drunk-off-his-ass Dazai from the Bar Lupin after a long Friday night…
This question ultimately depends on what you mean by physical strength. If we’re talking about endurance and physical prowess, I’d say that Oda has the upperhand in that department. If we’re talking about endurance in regards to physical pain and taking into account the body’s rate of healing after being afflicted by a series of injuries, Dazai wins in that department. They’re both physically stronger than the other in different ways.
who is more likely to break a bone? Dazai has probably broken as many bones in his body as there are stars in the sky.
who knows best what to say to upset the other?Dazai. Sometimes, whether he means well or not, he knows exactly what to say to garner a rise from Oda. Sometimes it’s through a careless phrase or a careless set of words, sometimes it’s through an overly elaborate explanation when only a word or two would suffice or sometimes, Dazai drifts a little too far and Oda is reeling him back. Oda is a writer, after all. He can decipher many of the nuances behind Dazai’s words.
who is most likely to apologise first after an argument?Dazai is aware when he takes an argument too far, so I could see him being the first to apologize. There are moments where he’ll fixate on a little thing and an argument escalates as a result of that fixation. Oda would’ve grown tired of it and would try to move on, but Dazai would reel the topic back into the foreground of the conversation until A] Oda tells Dazai that he needs some time to himself or B] Oda may have to raise his voice so Dazai would know that he doesn’t want to continue the conversation anymore.
Dazai never realized he had a habit of fixating on certain things in conversations until he saw how upset Oda was during one of its first occurrences. Before Oda could apologize for raising his voice, an air of exasperation at his tongue, Dazai apologized first. He’d apologize for not paying attention to Oda’s boundaries, for pushing Oda beyond his comfort zone, and for ignoring his repeated asks/requests to change the topic of conversation. Dazai initially ignored these things because this is the same tactic he’d used to whittle information out from traitors, criminals, and hostages that had found their way into one of the Port Mafia’s interrogation rooms. He didn’t think that old tactic would emerge in his and Oda’s relationship, but now he knows.
who treats who’s wounds more often? Oda is one of the very few people that Dazai trusts enough for this job. Dazai is intimately aware of how vulnerable he is while his wounds are getting treated, and he trusts Oda enough to know that the man won’t stab him while he’s getting stitches or rubbing ointment over his bruises.
who is in constant need of comfort? Having forsaken his humanity while living under the Port Mafia’s name, there are moments where Dazai reaches out for Oda and cuddles into the man’s arms. Because within that moment, while surrounded by Oda’s warm and tight embrace, Dazai feels a little more human. He feels like he’s able to continue on this path of being a good person, a person striving towards the light. He feels a little safer, able to let down his guard and simply be himself. He feels whole, even though he’s a few cracks away from falling apart. Oda is the embodiment of Dazai’s strength, so Dazai snuggles against him to regain that strength.
who gets more jealous? I can see slight shades of this from both of them. Where for Oda, the jealousy manifests as a want to protect Dazai from others that might be using him for their own good or for worse. And for Dazai, the jealousy manifests like a calm before a storm when he quietly confronts someone on what their intentions are with Oda. Jealousy, especially when in regards to love, isn’t an emotion that I write about often so I’m not sure how to answer this^^
who’s most likely to walk out on the other? Dazai. Not because he wants to, but because it’ll protect Oda and the world that Oda believes in.
who will propose? It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a man with everything to live for would want to share that everything with the man he has longed for. For someone as exquisite and as eccentric as Dazai, marrying him in a church was one of the last things on Oda’s mind. But to marry him like this, with Life and Death as their sole witnesses, perhaps it wasn’t a strange idea after all. In a beautiful yet peculiar way, it made sense to die together in order to live together.
So after an unsuccessful attempt at leaping from a bridge and falling into a river, while Dazai fished him from the edge of the embankment and congratulated him for surviving his first suicide attempt, Oda proposed right then and there. When Dazai reached out his hand, Oda clasped a wet engagement ring against his palm and asked if Dazai would marry him. The only sound that registers to Oda’s ears are the quick, short breaths that unfurl from Dazai when he realizes what the latter has just asked. He mumbles quietly, more to himself than to anyone else, that he’d only bring Oda trouble. Without missing a beat, Oda replies that in loving someone for who they are, to know their flaws and love them too, was an honest kind of love. That’s how Oda described his love for Dazai, and Dazai just stares at him before a smile threatens to break his expression.
who has the most difficult parents?Considering I know nothing about their family history, I can’t answer this question with confidence! If I were to guess, I’d say Dazai.
who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? During the soft lulls where they’re walking together, occasionally brushing hands because they’re walking so closely to one another, Oda reaches out for Dazai and Dazai intertwines their fingers together. They fit so naturally, hand in hand, as if there’s nowhere else that their hands could be.
who comes up for the other all the time? I don’t know what this question means.
who hogs the blankets? Occasionally, but more often than Oda could count, he’d sleepily climb into bed and discover that all the blankets are gone. The fleece, the cotton, the synthetic wool, the heater-blanket that Dazai has cherished during the past four years of their relationship, and the thin sheet that Oda often drapes under because his body overheats at night are gone. Disappeared. Vanished, like they were never here. Patting his hands around the bed, eyes still closed and heavy with sleep, Oda tries to figure out where everything had gone. Eventually, his hands meander from his side to the bed to Dazai’s. Where his fingers thread through Dazai’s hair, where his palm lightly taps Dazai’s snuggled cheek, and….where Oda’s hands discover a large and fluffy blanket cocoon where Dazai’s body should be.
It takes about fifteen seconds before Oda feels like he has enough energy to open his eyes, and what he sees makes him wonder if he’s dreaming. Dazai had wrapped all of the blankets around himself, and he’s currently snugged like a burrito on his side of the bed. If the light snoring is of any indication, Dazai is fast-asleep and has already drifted off to La La Land. Sinking into the bed slowly, Oda carefully rolls onto this side and tries to peel the cocoon off from his husband. He knows that Dazai gets cold at night, but this is rather extreme. Especially since the heater-blanket is so closely snugged to Dazai, Oda fears that his beloved will be dead by the next morning because of overheating.
One measly inch at a time, pausing every now and then when Dazai moves or wiggles around, Oda takes his time as he slowly unravels the cocoon. With each layer that he manages to peel off, Oda can discern a sweet smell. It’s faint, almost like the vanilla body wash that’s in the shower right now, and Oda can find the smell on the sheets and it’s even stronger with every blanket-layer he manages to pull off from Dazai. Ah, Dazai must’ve fallen asleep as soon when he got out from the shower. Probably cold from the lack of steam around him, it would’ve prompted him to fashion this blanket cocoon. It all made sense now. The last blanket-layer, the heated-blanket, remained untouched as Oda gathered the rest of the cocoon and lazily dispersed the layers around the bed. Draped under his thin sheet, now secure and slightly protected from the cold, Oda can finally sleep.
But oh, he’s roused from his slumber and it’s barely been five minutes! As he opens his eyes, Oda realizes that he’s slowly being turned. Somewhere in the midst of sleep, Dazai had instinctively reached out for Oda and is currently tangled yet snuggled under the man’s arms and legs. It was as if Dazai could sense that his blanket cocoon had been destroyed, so he carefully crafted another. Where instead of reaching out for the sheets, Dazai reached out for the warmest thing in the vicinity. So that’s how a very toasty Dazai and a very sleepy Oda would fall asleep on most nights. Where Dazai is secured, warm, and affectionately cuddled while Oda tenderly embraces him and feels a little colder when Dazai steals his thin blanket and is too tired to fish for it again.
who gets more sad? Sadness isn’t the only thing that lingers when Dazai is upset, but frustration crackles like a fire if he’s left to his own devices. Maybe sadness and frustration aren’t the only feelings, caged within his heart. Perhaps, there’s a note of exhaustion that unfurls as a whisper because Dazai keeps it to himself.
Sometimes, there are moments where he doesn’t have the energy to be a good person. Sometimes, he feels less inclined to help others and wishes for them to figure out what they need to do instead. Sometimes, it really bothers him how others have a much easier time of being a good person while this is something that Dazai still struggles with. Two, four, six years down the line. He’s tired, emotionally and mentally drained. Unable to put up his usual antics at the office and is aware of Kunikida and Atsushi are staring at him, brows knitted with concern. Dazai leaves the agency early that day and when he gets home, he’s writhed with shame and disappointment with how he’s been acting.
When he left the Port Mafia with Oda, he knew it’d be hard. He knew he’d struggle with being a good person, he knew he’d have to persevere and push through whatever he was dealing with, and…Dazai’s thoughts are interrupted when the front door opens and Oda is watching him with a peculiar glint in his eyes.
The door had been unlocked, but no one was coming inside. That was why Oda opened the door, concerned that something must’ve happened. And he looks at Dazai and sees the weariness in his eyes, Oda takes Dazai by the hand and slowly leads him to the kitchen where he can sit down. Dazai is so stiff that he’s unable to ease into his seat, even with the helpful coax of Oda’s hands at his shoulders. A series of tight, worrying knots are hitched at Dazai’s back so Oda massages the aches with a delicate touch.
During moments like this, Oda knows better than to ask Dazai of what’s bothering him. During moments like this, Oda’s first priority is for Dazai to feel comfortable. And then after that, they can work through and talk about whatever is on Dazai’s mind. Oda gives Dazai a choice on when he wants to talk about these things and tries his best not to urge Dazai to speak if the latter doesn’t feel like speaking. By taking things at a slower, more flexible pace, Oda knows that Dazai will be more honest with him when they’re finally speaking. He knows that Dazai won’t be hiding anything from him, and he knows that Dazai won’t be putting up a front to seem strong in Oda’s eyes.
After about an hour, after an early dinner, after a warm and lazy bath where Dazai messed with a rubber duck while Oda shampooed his hair, and after spending nearly the entire evening snuggled at Oda’s side while the latter is reading a book of poetry, Dazai finally speaks. His voice is quiet, his words are murmured into Oda’s skin, but Oda listens to him. He closes the book of poetry and gives Dazai his full, undivided attention as Dazai whispers what’s been bothering him. He confesses his fears, his worries, and everything in between while Oda rubs small circles along his back.
After hearing Dazai’s concerns, Oda talks to him. This is one of those rare and few moments where Oda speaks a lot more than he usually does while Dazai is quietly listening. Giving advice isn’t one of Oda’s strongest points, so he talks from his own experience and how he kind of figured out that being a good person is more than just being good. You can still be a good person, even if you have bad thoughts or impulses at times. You can still be and become a good person, even if your past wasn’t grounded in a good place. Oda tells Dazai that sometimes being a good person involves struggling through, working against, or even despite these things. That Dazai isn’t any less of a good person because he has to work a lot harder than others, but that he’s grown into a stronger and more self-aware person that recognizes where pitfalls are and consciously makes the choice to do more good rather than harm.
Despite being a writer, sometimes words aren’t Oda’s strongest points. He hopes that what he said helped Dazai, even if it was a little bit. Because in truth, Oda’s still trying to figure this out for himself. He’s been through whatever Dazai’s feeling right now, he’s thought the same thoughts, and felt the same frustrations that would leave him out of it for weeks. During those times, what helped Oda the most was having Dazai with him and having someone to talk to. During moments like this, Oda wants to be there for Dazai even if he isn’t quite sure of what to do. But the effort and company sure helps.
who is better at cheering the other up? Considering the above, I think it’s Oda.
who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?A glass or two of whisky has been dropped on multiple occasions because Dazai doesn’t know his own strength when he playfully slaps Oda on the shoulder. The two would be joking about something and Dazai would tell the corniest, worst joke in the history of all jokes. And while he’s laughing his butt off, his hand starts flying and makes an impact with Oda’s shoulder. After a few times, the couple has agreed to an unspoken rule that jokes should be reserved at home. Where the cups are made of plastic, where the alcohol is much cheaper, and where there isn’t a bartender to apologize to whenever a portion of whisky goes flying across the bar.
who is more streetwise?Dazai without a doubt. He knows where all the local gangs are and used to antagonize them when he was younger, more brash, and more trigger-happy with a gun. Since joining the ADA, he has mellowed out and has used his street knowledge to aid the agency when they’re busting arson loots and drug trades.
who is more wise?Dazai has more wisdom when it comes to life, death, and the role of violence when the opportunity is in one’s hands. Oda has more wisdom when it comes to experience, philosophy, and the role a person takes if they’re wanting to reform their life. It really depends on what kind of wisdom you’re talking about.
who’s the shyest? People would say that Oda’s the shyest out of the couple because he’s quiet, he doesn’t speak very much, and he isn’t one for rowdy environments. They would say he’s shy because most of his activities are very introverted (writing, reading, preferring home rather than going outside, etc…) People would often say that if it wasn’t for Dazai, it’d be a wonder if anyone would notice Oda at all. While these assumptions have some truth to their foundations, anyone that knows Oda knows that he isn’t shy.
Oda’s quiet because he’s observing the world, the people, and the environment around him and acts accordingly depending on that observation. He doesn’t speak very much because often, he doesn’t need to speak at all. Or if he does want to speak, he’s carefully choosing his words and deliberates if what he wants to say makes sense, if what he says is polite, and if what he says is meaningful/necessary to the discussion. His activities are rather introverted because he’s a writer. He spends his days at home, working on his manuscript or reading a good book to entice his imagination, and it’s pretty hard to write on the go when you can’t control the weather or the people around you. Oda’s quiet and stoic nature is one of the first things that distinguishes him from a crowd, and people are often drawn to him because there’s this mysterious allure and atmosphere surrounding him. Were it not for Dazai, it’d be a wonder if anyone would talk to Oda at all.
But when the world sees that this dashing young fellow, tackling Oda into a surprise hug, all of the people can breathe a little sigh for Oda’s not as intimidating as he looks.
who boasts about the other more? If Kunikida had a notebook for every moment Dazai talked about Oda, he’d be drowning in a lot of notebooks. Without fail, Dazai would boast about a lot of Oda’s accomplishments. No matter if they’re big or small. Since Oda rarely goes out because he’s working on his manuscript, Dazai takes it as his duty to remind the world of what a good, sweet, caring, and hardworking person his husband is. In which Kunikida will argue how such a good husband married a slacker like Dazai. And in turn, Dazai will have a hand at his chest and dramatically accuse Kunikida of such slander! They would be at each other’s throats were it not for Oda, calling in at the right moment to calm Dazai down and to apologize to Kunikida on behalf of his husband’s behavior.
who sits on whose lap?The simple answer is that they take turns. Dazai sits on Oda’s lap during soft, calm moments where they’re both reading or watching the TV. Oda sits on Dazai’s lap when the latter wants a good cuddle session and claims that he has an easier time when Oda’s on his lap.
BSD Stage: Dark Era
I’ve been wanting to write a report aka feelings post about this stage play, but for days I wasn’t able to compose my words (and myself). I’m glad I found this review by our beloved @looking-for-stray-dogs and now please excuse me as I add my own thoughts (while trying my best to be coherent) on this. I encourage you to read her post first because more details about the play are written there!
Under the cut for spoilers! All photos are from official accounts
Stage is indeed a different platform and more than any of the adaptations - light novel, anime - this medium is the one that felt the most alive. Well literally ofc, but you know, you just feel the fact that... they are there. Odasaku, Ango, teen Dazai. In 3D human forms, breathing, hurting, falling apart inside... dying.
I was not near enough to see their facial expressions very very clearly, except for the scenes when they were very near the edge of the stage. So what hit me the most was the emotion in their voices - which I happen to be very particular with since I am a voice actor fan.
I liked that Odasaku here is more emotional than the one in anime.
His smiles. Oh my gosh. How much he enjoyed playing with the kids.
His voice. How it cracks more and more as he pats the head of each kid when he was saying good night to them. It was totally breaking when he was down to the last one, Sakura, which was akin to how our hearts have broken, too.
And yes, when Dazai was stopping him from going, Odasaku’s voice was cracking when he told Dazai that he wanted to be a novelist. I really felt how much he wanted it, but there was no way it could ever come true at that point. He was not just grieving for the kids; Odasaku was grieving for himself, too.
Ango. I don’t know what is it but Araki-san’s portrayal made me like Ango even more. He did indeed betray his friends, but he.was.very.much.hurting.too. I deeply appreciated that they included that epilogue scene in the novel when Ango was looking at the picture of the three of them together.
Mori. Yes! His voice was indeed very fitting and there were even times when he almost sounded like Miyamoto-san (anime VA). At some parts though, Mori and Elise’s appearance was somewhat distracting esp when I could’ve preferred to focus on the scene that was not about them. Like, Mori’s appearance is fine but Elise doing all the same grumpy reactions in the background was kinda off for me.
Music insert. Oh gosh. I couldn’t listen to Kaze ga Fuku Machi days after the play because the feels were too much for me to take in. This is my favorite BSD song, and the song’s lyrics are engraved in my heart and wow oh my gosh, I was not prepared that they suddenly played it during that scene. It was *heavy breathing* when Odasaku screamed after the kids exploded. And suddenly, I couldn’t see the stage anymore... for my eyes were filled with tears. I can’t compare Taniguchi-san (stage actor) and Suwabe-san’s (anime VA) screams during that scene, both are heart-crushing no matter what, but hearing it live on stage really pierced through my heart.
Reason Living. This is my second favorite BSD song, but as opposed to the previous one, I somewhat didn’t like where this song was inserted in the play. It was right after Odasaku died. The song was too lively and loud for that moment. Maybe nothing can replace Kaze ga Fuku Machi for me in this scene, but maybe it wouldn’t sound fit if they repeat the same song after using it in the screaming scene.
Dazai. *sighs* Where do I even start? I think I was one of the first people who shed tears during the play, and it was because of Dazai. It was just from their first scene, when Dazai was telling Odasaku about the stories of how he got his injuries. I know, that’s not a scene where anyone is supposed to cry, but gosh. Tawada Hideya’s acting. Contrary to Lea’s opinion that the Dazai in this stage is flirty, the message that came across to me is that this stage showed how much of a child Dazai Osamu was back then. The way he freely acts when he’s together with his friends in contrast to the demon prodigy of the Port Mafia. Sometimes we look at Mafia Dazai but forget that despite their experiences in the past, he was still young. And Odasaku understood that way before and way deeper than anyone else.
I really liked that they included that precious line in the light novel when Odasaku was talking to Gide, “That guy was just a child who’s too smart. Just a crying child who’s been left alone in the darkness, a world of nothingness far emptier than the world can see.” (translation by nkhrchy.tumblr)
This was my tweet after watching the stage play:
On the other hand, I have a very huge bias towards Miyano Mamoru as Dazai’s voice actor. While Hideyan did touch me in many scenes on his portrayal of teen Dazai, there were lines when I found them lacking. As Lea had mentioned, one of that was the scene when Dazai was begging the Mimic soldier to shoot him. He did yell, “PLEASE”, too strongly and loudly, I think, intending to drown Odasaku’s voice of stopping him. However I also thought that a soft, begging one would be more appropriate.
Another one is when Dazai told Mori that the reason he is going is that, “He is a friend.” I think the anime was more emotional in this one esp with the close-up of the peaceful look on Dazai’s face, and the silent pause.
Lastly, the Odasaku dying scene (ouch, how do we call that). Miyano Mamoru’s desperate but helpless trembling voice in that scene is imprinted in my heart and my ears - when I say I have it memorized, I mean it. Most probably because of this post (please listen to it with earphones): Odasaku’s Final Moments. So I’m sorry but I really couldn’t help but compare it so somehow, Hideyan’s acting in that scene didn’t give me as much feels as the anime did. However, seeing the light novel scene of Dazai lighting up Odasaku’s cigarette in that scene, then the anime scene of Dazai’s bandages getting pulled off, and lastly the scene fading out to Odasaku passing away on his friend’s lap with Dazai tilting his head up silently after - which then showed us his pained expression - was a good seal to the scene. I couldn’t ask for more. Oh.my.gosh.stop
And ofc, the final scene which Asagiri-sensei thoughtfully added. Dazai was back in Bar Lupin, in his ADA clothes, happily saying, “Odasaku, I found it! A job that saves people.” Odasaku appears, and Dazai continues... “Are you happy for me?” Odasaku doesn’t utter a single word, but smiles and pats Dazai on the head, and leaves.
This is giving me a thousand feels because I know, I can feel it, let me say it.
Dazai, Odasaku is very proud of and very happy for you.
This is just for me, but Odasaku saying nothing, but just pats his head while smiling? It’s giving me the feels that - at least one of Odasaku’s orphans made it.
*picks up myself*
Over-all, it was definitely a very beautiful adaptation of the light novel. Lea has already pointed out a lot of things in her post above so I also didn’t mention the other details in this post. Can’t really say that it’s perfect, but the stage play adaptation was more than satisfying and really made me love BSD and Asagiri-sensei MORE.
Lastly, I leave you with this tweet...
Blue eyes blinked tiredly as he tried to read the report Tachihara had given him for the last mission. Everything was starting to get blurry, Chuuya glared at the empty cup of coffee that sat on his desk along with a mountain of papers, he needed to take care of. Why did he have to do damn’s Dazai’s paperwork too?! The annoying voice of his partner reached his ears and he could feel his right hand turning into a fist.
“We are partners, so we have to help each other, right?~ So Chuuya, if you dont want to say bye bye to your wine cellar in your apartment, help me out with those~”
He barely didn’t break the cup he was holding from annoyance, he stood up and everything seemed to shift.
‘Huh...what the hell.’ he wondered to himself as he went to refill his cup, every step seemed like an achievement, what was going on? He felt like shit, not like when Dazai teased the hell out of him nor how he felt like after a long mission, he felt..like he would pass out at any moment. His ears buzzed and his legs started protesting. His hand twitched and he glared at it with all the strength he had, before he stumbled, he wouldn’t use his ability for something stupid like that! He was...stronger than...that.
Suddenly everything blurred and he barely managed to hold onto the edge of the desk. Fuck, this was not good..was it a drug from the previous mission? Were those guys more sneaky than they had imagine- sadly Chuuya didn’t have the opportunity to ponder more on this matter as his conciousness slipped away,
Dazai hummed to himself as he returned back to the base after a nice reunion with Ango and Odasaku back at Bar Lupin, frankly it had made his mood! It had been several months since he had been able to see them at the usual meeting spot and no matter how little those moments would last in the eternity of his solitude, for now they were enough.
As he passed the door of Chuuya’s office he paused and a grin appeared on his face, maybe he should mess with the hat rack’s reports! Not the ones he had thrown on him to do god no! But the ones Chuuya originally had to take care of! His reaction would be priceless and maybe it will lead him a bit closer to death, by laughing at the chibi’s misfortunate of course. (Okay maybe a little bit of those punches too)
He picked on the lock with ease and opened the door ready to create a mess. What he hadn’t expected was to see his partner in crime unconcious on the ground. He raised an eyebrow, had the red haired gotten too drunk again? Hm, but he didn’t see those wine bottles anywhere, so no. He approached the hat rack and poked him.
“Oi, chibi, wake up.” he drawled out bored. Huh. No reply. Oh well, he grabbed a marker from the desk. Time for desperate measures! He would draw on Chuuy’a fa-.he paused as he saw the color of his partner. He was red even more red than when he usually got angry at him, if that could be possible. He rested a bandaged hand on his forehead, tch, he was burning up.
“Did you overwork yourself, Chuuya?” Dazai murmured to himself shaking his head in disapproval “We truly are opposites..” Normally he would have left the red haired be and maybe if he felt like it, tell something about his condition to his subordinates, but today after seeing Odasaku, he felt like he could maybe be...a better partner for once. He picked up the tiny body of his partner and felt the frantic breathing against his neck. He groaned.
“You have gotten heavy, Chuuya, have you put on weight?” he mused mostly to himself because the auburn haired man was not able to even make a decent sentence at his current state. Dazai thought for a bit, now maybe he should take Chuuya back to his apartment that way Chuuya would be confused as fuck and then he can blackmail him for passing out during work hours. Ah yes, this was the best. No, he was not worried in the slightest, what are you saying?
After passing several corridors, he entered the apartment he had been gifted to in the base right after he became an executive. He didn’t use it often so it was almost bare, a comfortable bed,a library filled with books about every topic anyone could imagine and a tiny kitchen. Not like anyone let him do as much as cook, no. But he did try new recipes for suicide, from time to time!
He basically threw the tiny angry man on the bed and then grabbed one of his books. Well, he was being kind, wasn’t he? He had even allowed Chuuya to borrow his very much comfortable bed! It was much better than the floor, Chuuya had chosen to rest on,wasn’t it? So that must be enough.
A small sound of pain made his eyes shift from the book he was reading and to look at his partner, he must be having a nightmare, from the way it looked. Well that wasnt unusual when it came to fever per se, the way Chuuya breathed however made him slightly alarmed, maybe he should call a doctor? Dazai could barely take care of himself, Chuuya was always the one who would patch up his wounds and help him heal when he was with a cold. So what could he do at this situation? He added a cold compress on the boy’s forehead only for it to roll around as Chuuya tossed. Dazai sighed.
“What a pain.” he dialed a familar number to hear a tired and emotionless voice, its owner someone he happened to hold rather dear.
“Dazai? That’s unusual, what is the matter?”
“Odasaku! I require your assistance!”
“In what exactly, if I may ask?”
Dazai paused for a bit and pouted.
“How do I take care of a sick child with fever?” he manages to ask, for a moment a deafining silence followed “Odasakuu.” the brunet whined.
“Ah. I thought you were joking.”
“No, I am serious!”
“Well, you should try to get some medicine to give to the child every few hours, get them food so they will be able to drink it and then allow them to rest as much as possible.”
“Thanks Odasaku, you are a lifesaver!”
“It was nothing. Have a goodnight and ah hope the kid gets better soon.” with that the red haired man hung up and Dazai finally turned his attention to his partner.
“So Chu-what the hell.” he stared at the scene unfold in front of him Chuuya was gradually floating higher and higher. Huh. Chuuya almost reached the ceiling. Dazai climbed up on the bed.
“Really now Chu-” hey, the chibi had gone too high he couldn’t reach him! Dazai glared at his partner, rather done with the situation. He jumped once, missed him just barely! Once again, he caught Chuuya’s sleeve! Chuuya kept floating, damn him! This time he jumped adding more force and wrapped his arms around Chuuya who fell limp on top of him. Dazai let out a groan.
“You are heavy.” he grumbled and orange hair tickled his cheek, ah this was tiring. Dazai just closed his eyes and grabbed the blanket, it was late anyway, like 4 am? The chibi had no mind to complain anyway. Not that he ever had brain to begin with. Before he also drifted off to sleep, Dazai thought, if he could die from fever and something he wouldn’t admit to himself, that Chuuya fitted perfectly in his arms and that he was warm enough to relax him. Well...Chuuya was much more charming when he wasn’t talking after all.
Sapphires blinked tiredly as he stared at a unfamiliar celling, pure white. He felt warm and something was brushing against his neck, it was warm. His eyes widened as he noticed the bandages.
“WHAT THE HELL?!”
“Ahhh, don’t be so loud first thing in the morning Chuuyaaa” a familiar voice complained and the mafioso felt horror in his heart as Dazai cracked one eye open.
“Nothing, I just fell asleep while taking care of you.” he grabbed Chuuya by the arm “Now let’s go back to sleep.”
“LET ME GO YOU BASTARD.”
Neverthless to say, Chuuya had to take care of another sick child for the rest of his days along with his own cold. Chuuya grunted as he made some soup.
“Oi shitty Dazai, the chicken soup is ready.” a form coughed in the bed.
“I knew-cough- that Chuuya was the perfect housewife.”
“WHO ARE YOU CALLING A HOUSEWIFE?”
Yup it was a disaster.