#Dead peter pettigrew

[doodlemcjazzhands]

[outromoony]

James: One of you will betray me tonight.

Sirius: Is it me, James?

James: No.

Remus: Is it me, James?

James: No, it's not you either.

Peter: Is it me, James?

James:

James, mockingly: iS iT mE jAmEs?

[del-stars]

we do not make enough of the COMEDY it is that james is a fucking deer. like sirius being a dog and peter being a rat are obv tied to their characters but a deer is SO random. and i do not see it in fics enough. take the padfoot tropes and give them to prongs. students baffled because there was a deer walking around the dungeons? remus walking into the dorm and nearly shitting himself because there’s a deer sitting upright in james’ bed. whenever james is in a sticky situation he just goes deer mode and prances away

[inkncla]

ok but Klaus and Five are Sirius and Regulus variants

[de4thbycre4tion]

Sirius is an aggressive drunk (he'd love bar fights)

Peter is a giggly drunk (he'd film said bar fights)

Remus is a horny drunk (he'd find a bloody-nosed Sirius hot)

James just really wants to dance

[jamessluttythighs]

core - @jegulus-microfic - word count: 209

James was sitting on his bed, hands trembling. 

“Prongs, you look like you’re about to throw up, mate. Are you good?” Remus asked cautiously. He had a book balanced in one hand while the other was carding through Sirius’ hair. Sirius, who was lying in Remus’ lap, tentatively opened one eye to look at his best friend.

“Well erm it’s just …” James trailed off, not making eye contact. 

Concerned, Sirius propped himself next to Remus on the bed. “You know you can talk to us about anything, right?” Sirius said gently.

At this Peter shuffled closer to the edge of his bed, giving James an encouraging look. “You can do it, James,” giving him a small smile and nod.

James took a deep breath.

“Wellitsjustthatregulusandihavebeendatingforthepastmonthandmenottellingyouhasbeeneatingmealiveandicantdoitanymore,” James spilled out in one breath.

“What?” Sirius asked, perplexed.

“Regulus and I are dating,” James said slowly.

A smile spread across Sirius’ face and he leant dramatically against Remus. He threw his one hand against his forehead in mock surprise. “I am shook to my core. How will I ever recover from this brand new information?”

James looked up confused. “You knew?” 

“My dearest Prongsie boy, you can’t keep the love off your face when looking at Reggie for shit,” Sirius laughed.

[fiasco95]

Peter betraying James…but not like the way you think. Regulus and Sirius live together.

Regulus, greeting the Marauders on his way out: Remus. Peter. Potter.

James: Wha— Why am I still ‘Potter’ but Pete’s Peter???

Peter: Reg and I have bonded. We’ve shared a joint. Staple of friendship.

Peter, turning to Reg as he gets ready to leave: Actually, hey Regulus— if your date tonight doesn’t work out then wanna go on a date with me?

Regulus: Yeah, sure why not?

Peter, grinning at James: How about that Prongs? I’ve been friends with Regulus for 72 hours and I’ve secured a sure-why-not-date with him.

James: You—

Peter, with a menacing smile: And you who’s had a crush on him for who-knows how long….has accomplished what?

James, looking horrified: TRAITOR! I’VE BEEN BETRAYED!!!! TREASON—!

Peter, losing his absolute shit:

Bonus

Sirius, watching from the sitting room: Do I even want to know?

Remus: No. No you don’t, sweetheart.

[goformoony]

Lily: how could you have a mom of the group, you’re all crazy and get into trouble?

*The Marauders look at James*

James: I’m a cool Mom.

[get-in-the-damn-car11]

Give me a fic where James,Sirius,Remus and Peter are in a band and James has a secret tiktok/Insta account where he posts ship edits of Sirius and Remus but one day he mixes up the accounts and posts an edit on his official account instead.

[icedcoffeebabyy]

I fear no fancast will ever match how sexy Sirius Black actually is.

[pxrty-crxsher]

Thinking about how Barty would just scream and fall to his knees at Evan’s grave after he gets out of Azkaban. He would just sit there and cry, kicking as people tried to pry him away from the headstone and little patch of dead grass. Because Evan promised he’d be there when he got out of Azkaban and he’s not. He’s dead.

[thelyinggrapevine]

The Marauders & Regulus out in town, enjoying the day...

Peter: Guys, where's Regulus? I don't see him anywhere.

Sirius: Eh, he'll make his way back eventually - he's like a cat in that regard.

Remus: I got this, no worries. *Deep breath* SIRIUS BLACK IS A SHIT BROTHER!

*Silence*

Sirius: Mooney, that's not gonna work, we're barely on speaking terms right now.

Remus: I have a back-up plan; JAMES POTTER IS WEIRD AND NOBODY LIKES HIM!

Regulus, getting closer the more he yells: HOW ABOUT YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP, PIECE OF SHIT?

Sirius: See, Mooney, I told you he wouldn't answer to mine.

Regulus, suddenly there now: No, I answered to yours, I was just too far away. Also, Remus? I will hit you if you say shit like that again about either of them, joke or not. I'm the only one who can talk shit about my brother, I don't care if you guys are dating. *crosses arms over chest*

Sirius, tearing up: Reg... OW-

Regulus, trying to hide his blush: Shut the fuck up.

James, leaning on Peter: Did you hear that, Pete?? He defended me!! That has to mean something, right?? Do you think he likes me? Oh, I hope so!!

Peter, rubbing in-between his eyes: James, he was literally sitting in your lap last night and letting you play with his hair. Not even Barty's allowed to do that anymore.

James, clueless: Yeah?

Peter: I do not get paid enough for this.

[outromoony]

Families aren't always just a man and a woman.

Sometimes, a family is a group of three illegal animagus and their werewolf.

[wtchyvibes]

The Dead Gay Wizard Society

[junkiepunkie]

Sirius: REGULUS BLACK!!!

Regulus: -oh shit

Sirius [storming in dragging James by the ear]: how the FUCK did James find out about me and the girl on the beach

Regulus [laughing hysterically]: what the one who asked if you wanted to go on a date and you threw a starfish at?!!

James [crying holding in laughter]: ….I messaged her…. She se- she sent him a howler

Regulus [straight cackling]: BRILLIANT!!!

Sirius [steam coming out ears]: WHY DID YOU TELL HIM!!?!?!

Regulus: what- I didn’t tell him!

Sirius: oh yeah? then who did?

[cut to a montage of the following]

Regulus: okay well, I told Remus

Remus: so naturally I had to tell lily

lily: oh come on Mary needed to know-

Mary: so I told Marlene

Marlene: and I tell Dorcas everything

Dorcas: I only told Pandora

Pandora: so that night I knew I had to tell Barty

Barty: I only told Evan

Evan: I swear to god Pete asked

Peter: ….shit was I not supposed to tell James

[cut to Sirius]

Sirius: THATS YOUR SECRET KEEPER?!?!!!

…..you bitches are so gonna die…

[literallyawritingmess]

James: I’m kind of crushing on someone but I’m afraid to tell you, because you’re not gonna like it

Sirius: Just rip off the bandaid

James: It’s Regulus

Sirius: Put the bandaid back on