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scribblesofabeloved · 6 years

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Greetings for surpassing your junior years!

Wherein you discovered lesser rest yet

Yet full or jeers

Now get ready to present your very best

Trust me to choose Humanities and Social Sciences

For you will overcome not just a paper, but even a life test

In here, creative writing can move you into different ambiances

This is also where counseling and social work collaborate

As well as Philosophy let you learn in few glances

If you’re also fond of participating in a debate,

Have fun in speaking and thinking critically

So take HUMSS now, mate!

WELCOME DEAR!

It’s my pleasure to be with you here in my so-called “hood”. So maybe you’ll gonna ask if what is this for. Actually, I was just busy jotting down my ideas until I realized that I have to quit wasting time since this is for a scheduled task. (Hahaha!)

Anyway, let me introduce myself first.

My name is Camille and I’m 17. I’m in grade 12 right now and taking Humanities and Social Sciences strand under the academic track. Be joyful kid, because I’ll be your “not-so-pretty-but-just-tall” advocate for this time!! But before anything else, I want you to be informed about this blog.

This isn’t about your favorite love quotes

This isn’t a site for online dating so stop browsing on my account!

We’ll gonna learn how to become a good student here. (Believe me)

This is a serious business so I’ll be letting you to grab your daily dosage of happy pill right now. Hurry!

Now count 1 to 10 and we’ll gonna start!

So, what is it?

Under the academic track there are four main strands, namely Science, Technology, Engineering and Mathematics (STEM), Accountancy and Business Management (ABM), Humanities and Social Sciences (HUMSS) and General Acadmic Strand (GAS).

If you’re one of a kind having a deep passion towards literary, communication skills, psychology, counseling and law, well, welcome to the club! You’re maybe one of us–having creative minds, passionate souls and soft cinnamon hearts (the last word isn’t a joke!) because those things belong to HUMSS. Dealing with the subjects and lessons within this strand wasn’t difficult, neither easy too. All you have to possess are the following, in order for you to survive:

Two cups of patience (one for yourself and the other for your teachers (oops)

An abundant supply of papers and pens (those are tools for survival!)

ENOUGH self-esteem

A very courageous heart with a deep breath and an immortal soul

LOVE (since it conquers all. even your seatmate)

On the other hand, it is so enjoyable to study HUMSS since it really discuss about humans, society, politics and everything in it. Hey I’ll be sharing you some of my stories about being a HUMSS student for you to find out why did I choose HUMSS and why must you should do the same thing.

“Simula ng Huli” the making

I have the best pals

The first one was the called “best”

Next was only “pal”

In our Contemporary and E-Tech subjects, we had been given a task by our teachers to create our 10-minute short film. We decided to create something different since our fellow classmates agreed to come up with horror films. We made a drama out of a spoken poetry. We do not have dialogues instead we act the scenes that the poem portray.

Share some?

The story began when a Senior High School girl, Marisol, decided to step outside her shell. From an introvert, she made friends with some other people. Now, just like the usual scenarios, they made memories and shared struggles as well. But the sad thing happened then when many of her friends chose to part ways and everything about there friendship ruined. The story ended not in a blissful one, thus, remained melancholic.

The Sample Script

Pero siguro kailangan ko na nga talagang maniwala Maniwala na nasasaktan na ako at kailangan ko nang sumuko Dahil mahirap nang maibalik yung mga parte ng pinunit na pahina nitong bawat kabanata ng ating istorya Mahirap nang manatili sa isang sulok habang naaalala kung pano lang kayo nagparanas ng ligaya pero nagpalit din ng sugat na kailanman ay di na nga mabubura Pero Salamat parin, Salamat sa pagbibigay ng aral sakin na hindi lahat ng nagdudulot ng kasiyahan ay mananatili kailanman Siguro ito na nga ang panahon para matanggap kong ito na..

Ang Simula ng Huli

NOW, LET”S ESCAPE FROM REALITY!

Let us now talk about creative writing

What comes in your mind when hearing it?

Did you know that it is more of thinking?

Writing your thoughts might have spirit!

All you have to do is to hold a pen and sit

So you people with imaginations as high as a mountain’s peak,

Here is where you really fit

In the real world, let us come out and sneak!

It isn’t just about writing guys. It’s actually more on about thinking creatively and separating yourself from this world. And if you will gonna ask if what can I use to describe Creative Writing subject, I’ll just answer you with one word and would expound it..

AMAZEMENT!

Now, ponder of what does being amazed means and you will be able to understand what message you’re intended to receive right now. Just kidding.

Creative writing subject is a break from the real routine of this world. Maybe in a newspaper, it is the feature page. It is the desert in a heavy main course. It is the apple of a pie and can be the water break of your practice. But it doesn’t mean that you’ll have to forget about your self and the society where you belong. No. Creative writing only wants us to breathe and pause amidst the fast run of a train. It wants us to have a short break while watching a long and annoying TV program. To sum it all, it intends to let us escape for a while in this real world through our own imaginations wherein we’re able to create our own world.

To share some, the most unforgettable moment during our creative writing subject was when we’re asked by our teacher to write our own ending of a particular story. Moreover, we wrote also our own short story inspired by a song. But it did not end there, because we usually ought to make a role play out of those stories. Amazing. Aside of those, writing or composing poems with different rhyme scheme is one of my favorite activities too.

To learn isn’t just the goal of this subject, but rather, to make our experiences alive.

”Experience is the best teacher” as the cliche goes, because in my own perception it really gave us the grades. (HAHAHA!) I mean, our experiences and the emotions within those always lead us to a better piece of a story or stunning lines of a poem. This is the reason why many loves this subject. (including our teacher, yay!)

Oh, speaking of experiences, let me share you my great travel ever!

Three Days In the Paradise!

If you are lonely,

Keep in mind that you are best

And made splendidly!

Last June, I and the worship team members of our church had gone to a vacation. From San Jose del Monte Bulacan, it took us 4 hours and 20 minutes to arrive at Bongabon, Nueva Ecija. We spent our first day in Simple Life Resort.

The pool’s water wasn’t very strong with chemical contents since it came from the mountain brook. The staffs were very cheerful, the entrance fee was only 20php while the cottage rent costs 100php to 1000php and that made us stayed there until 7 in the evening.

Simple Life Resort

The “Batanes of The East” and the Lighthouse in Aurora

After an enjoyable swimming and bonding, we headed our way to Dingalan Aurora. The travel time was only 1 hour and 5 minutes. That was the place where we’re really going to stay until the third day of our vacation. The people welcomed us in a certain beach resort and they were very friendly. There, we had rented two cottages.

The sea was so tidy and the waves were very calm that’s why we almost lived there. Incidentally also, we’re fortunate to witness the opening of the town feast happened. The boats made up of flamboyant colors with patrons and bands paraded on the sea.

I and my fellow youths together with our youth leader also did not let the day passed without even visiting the famous white beach resort in Dingalan. We did not actually went there for swimming, but for mountain climbing. It took us about 25 minutes riding a boat from the island where we’re staying in to the white beach resort, and so we’re welcomed by an abundance of jellyfish. It took us almost 30 minutes climbing the two famous mountains in Aurora. But even though my heart almost fell on my soles, the mountain view did not disappoint me. It actually made my breathe away! Believe me, my tears fell when I saw how beautiful and wonderful the scene was when we reached the peak of the second mountain (which was my favorite also), the so-called “Batanes of the East”. The temperature wasn’t that high that time that’s why we really enjoyed our climb. The mountain was still full of green tall trees and the ocean behind us was said to be a part of the Pacific ocean. I almost cry aloud when I thought how Great God is. The aesthetic made me realize that if God alone shaped these majestic things, how special we are, since we were the most important in all His creations.

Humanities and Social Sciences is perfect for your run,

It isn’t as harsh as a bullet of a gun

But just as bright as the splendid sun

Now trust me because for sure, you’ll really have fun!

Hey! I hope that I inspired you and encourage you as well as you read through. If you’re still confused about the strand that you’ll be taking for your Senior Years, keep in mind that you have always to follow your passion.

In HUMSS, maybe you’re not going to study numbers, but you will know the importance of those. You’re not going to balance an equation, but you will learn how to find equality and justice despite of the world’s realities. You’re not going to compute for a product’s value, but you will know how to value one’s life and the society’s products. So if you want to become a future world changer, having a passion for humanities and looking forward to a better society, be one of us! Choose HUMSS.

#terzarima #monorhyme #ballad #script #poem #haiku #travelogue #advocate #creativewriting #experiences #humss

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herthousandthoughts · 4 years

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22 things I've learned in 22 years

1. There Are So Many Versions Of You (And They All Matter Just As Much)—You have to figure out which pieces light you up and which ones hinder you

It’s the most fascinating thing- constantly knowing yourself. How much your heart can hold and how it can repair itself.

2. Courage is often quiet

In fact, most of the time it is rooted in the deepest parts of your heart. It is, radiating from a place inside of us that is infinitely precious and reserved for when needed. You can still exist within stillness and yet remain a murmuring brook of strength. You can build a fortress of calmness that you built through prayer, and still carry an intangible, roaring bravery.

3. Certain moments of impact can change your entire life forever.

Because it isn’t the whole story. It is merely one small segment of a much larger, grand outline of life. Moments, big or small may define your future. Each waking day is a new chapter (this probably the most cliche thing to say), filled with your own composition of rich, textured layers and subtle nuances.

4. Discipline is the greatest act of self love

Not really sure if this is a quote. but it is something I realized while working out. That I wanted to be lean and confident about my body. that I wanted to see myself in the mirror confidently. hence, I have to take those dreading leg exercises and planks to achieve that. In order to sustain myself, I had to have discipline.

5. When all things fail, choose yourself.

2020 was a slope of circumstances. It started out pretty hopeful. But then things will never fix by themselves only, like most relationships, it failed. it didn’t work out. I did the most liberating thing. I left. My months in 2020 was such a circus of emotions-- “Am I not worthy?” “Why didn’t he choose me?” but then I realize, no one chooses me so I should choose myself.

6. We are spiritual beings having a human experience." - Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

Life is a constant quest of aligning ourselves into our higher purpose as spiritual beings.

7. We live in a dimensional reality

“Nature abhors a vacuum” every space in nature needs to be filled with something. Dimensions are simply the different facets of what we perceive to be reality. Hence, everything has a reason. and your reality is shaped to how you perceive it.

8. More than anything, spiritual growth

I realized, healing is through God. You can never fully find yourself if not through God. Faith is what remains when everything else leaves.

9. Your Anointing is enough- Bo Sanchez

Bo Sanchez said in his book that you have everything you need to succeed. you have it in you residing deep inside of you. You just need to nurture and utilize these gifts to your advantage.

10. It’s how much you BADLY want it.

You need to be desperate. You need to WANT it so BADLY in order to get it.

11. If you are standing by the same platform in a train station for too long, LEAVE. you're never gonna catch a train in a wrong platform.- Undar, 2020

in other words, learn to leave.

12. Believe that you have it and you do.

Law of Attraction states that you have to believe that you are already living the life that you want in order to have it. Logically, it’s believing you can make it happen- it;s having faith that you are bound for that best thing.

13. "You just need 20 seconds of insane courage"

Stop thinking. Just do it. Me every time I think of working out.

14. You got to have a plan and counter-attacks

It pays to be prepared in every worst scenario.

15. Expect for the WORST but manifest BEST outcomes

While you should attract best outcomes, you should also think of worst scenarios and be prepared on how to overcome them.

16. “And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”―Paulo Coelho

AGAIN, YOU JUST HAVE TO WANT IT SO BADLY!!!

17. these moments of non-fuckery are the moments that most define our lives - Mark Manson

From “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life” - a lifechanging book which changed my perspective about life. But mind you, this book is not about slacking off. It’s about picking your battles. “Who you are is defined by what you’re willing to struggle for.” . People often waste their lives fighting battles that consume most of their entire lives. Remember, life is short.

18. The heart outgrows the chest.

It’s amazing how much your heart can hold; how much can your heart love and how much can it endure. it’s fascinating how much one can do for love and up to what extent can one be willing to risk.

19. Kaya mo lagi. -_-

Akala mo lang hindi mo kaya, pero kaya mo.

20. Stop asking the wrong questions

I always ask, “Am I not enough to be chosen?”. All along I’m asking the wrong question, “Why am I hanging on to people who do not choose me?”

21. God is not after the crushing. He is after the wine.

God is not a punishing God. He is after who we are after the adversities. Like grapes that needed to be crushed in order to become wine. The crushing is essential. it is a necessary destruction.

22. God. Never. Fails.

I keep on asking the universe, I keep on asking God where my breakthrough is because it has been failures lately. but throughout my search, God has been subtly answering my prayers, not in a way I predicted it but in a better way. I then realized that God’s plans are better than mine. it’s grander and more lasting. God’s NO is God’s saving grace and I have been saved for many times.

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hindi-stories · 2 years

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#Reality Life Quotes in Hindi #Reality Life Quotes Hindi #Life Quotes in Hindi

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gokul2181 · 4 years

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11 Years Of 'Wake Up Sid': 11 beautiful moments from the movie that gave us important life lessons | Hindi Movie News

New Post has been published on https://jordarnews.in/11-years-of-wake-up-sid-11-beautiful-moments-from-the-movie-that-gave-us-important-life-lessons-hindi-movie-news/

11 Years Of 'Wake Up Sid': 11 beautiful moments from the movie that gave us important life lessons | Hindi Movie News

It’s been 11 years since the release of ‘Wake Up Sid’. Ranbir Kapoor and KonKona Sen Sharma‘s coming of age drama is definitely one of the best written and directed films that youngsters can relate to. The movie instantly struck a chord with the audience and continues to stay alive in the hearts for generations of all ages. The movie allows us to enter into the lives of two significant people, Aisha (Konkona Sen Sharma) and Sid (Ranbir Kapoor) who meet as strangers, at a farewell party. Soon, both form a beautiful friendship allowing each other to explore and touch the deeper parts of their selves. While Sid is seen figuring his life after college – walking away from his family, into the lap of the real world, Aisha is seen being fearless and taking a stand for herself, only to follow her dreams and explore her passion. As the movie celebrates 11 years here are 11 life changing lessons from the movie :

1. It’s necessary to break your shells and come out of your comfort zone

“Tumhe kabhi laga hai ki apna ghar ho, apna khana khud banao, apne paise khud kamao aur udao, Sab kuchh apna banaya hua ho? Independence, you know what I mean?” It’s very necessary in life to realise the importance of independence, and make oneself capable of earning one’s own bread. Aisha emphasises the value of self reliance, and personal growth.

2.Being fearless is the only way in life, to make your dreams come true

“Tumhe nahi pata kitna darr lagta hai but you know what, sab theek ho jaega. Bombay aana mera sapna tha. Aur ab yahan hoon toh darr nahi sakti. Itna kuchh karna hai yahan ki darr ke jaye koi jagah hi nahi hogi” When Aisha opened up about being scared everyday, but taking this as a challenge to pursue her dream, she gave us a major reality check about life. She inspires one to be brave and take chances.

3.Live in the moment, make memories everyday

“Who cares ki kal kya hoga… As long as we have some fun tonight!” As millennials go with the quote, ‘you only live once’, Sid made sure to do justice to the saying, with his carefree character. Sometimes, it’s okay to escape and find happiness and pleasures under the multicoloured lights, late night drives with the best of your friends.

4. Embrace the little things and moments in life, while making them countable

“Yeh bhi toh party hain…tum, main our doh cup chai” Making a layered cake with bread loafs, loaded with jam in ten minutes and stargazing with the city skylines inspires us to embrace the simple pleasures in life. Aisha and Sid touched our hearts in these moments.

5. Failure doesn’t hold the power to define you

“Main apne dad ke bagair kya hoon? Meri khud ki pehchan kya hai…Mujhe nahi pata mujhe naukri karni hai. Main janta hoon mujhe kuchh nahi aata, pata nahi mujhe kaun naukri dega. Par ab mujhe kaam karna hai bas” Being lost can help pave one’s road of success. Sid loved his passion so much, that he believed to take it responsibly and make it a profession. He encourages one to realise and embrace your inner calling. He inspires one to create a unique identity about oneself.

6. Grab every opportunity that is capable of reflecting your potential

“Tere liye, Nayi hai zameen naya aasmaan, Likh de hawaaon mein koi nayi dastaan..” These heart warming lyrics from the song ‘Aaj Kal Zindagi’ allowed us to have a moment with ourselves while Sid takes the internship opportunity to start working. Watching Sid from being a spoilt brat to becoming a responsible adult was surely captivating enough to motivate us.

7. Family is the strongest support system and should be your first love

“Bas aapse milna tha, I miss you mom” “Tumhare friend’s ke tarah agar main bhi English main baat karungi, toh kya pata hum bhi friends ban jaye…Siddy, Tumhara khaana wagera sab theek hain naa ?” No matter wherever you go, whatever you follow with a good note, your parents will always support you. Your parents have unconditional love for you and would accept you no matter what. They deserve to be loved and respected equally.

8. Some friendships are capable of surviving storms as they are meant to be forever

“Yaar haan, mujhe hona chaiye tha yaar dilaane ke liye…sorry” True friends will always support you and pray for you even on bad terms. Sid rekindling his friendship with Rishi eventually brought a smile on our faces, and allowed us to reflect our bonds with our friends.

9. It’s okay to enjoy the simple things in life, if they are comforting and make you safe

“Puraani Hindi film songs….at least unhe aasaani se gaa toh sakte hain…Maine socha tha ki…main bhi Jazz enjoy Karne lagungi, par actually mujhe Jazz pasand hi nahi hain….It’s just not me”

It’s not necessary to fit in to make yourself feel accepted. Things which comfort you will always find your way towards you to give yourself a unique identity about yourself. Ayesha teaches one to hold on and accept things which can make you feel home.

10. Separation hurts, but don’t let that emotion be a burden on someone else

“Itni jaldi chale jaoge…pata nahi main kyun upset hori hoon…kyun nahi rahe sakte yaha Sid…itna bada faisla liya aur mujhse baat bhi nahi ki, socha takk nahi ki mujhe kaisa lagega” It’s okay to acknowledge your feelings, but sometimes words cut through real deep. Ayesha was right at her point, and so was Sid. There was a lack of understanding between the two, but soon they rekindled their bond. Separation happens for the good, and needs to be embraced with ease.

11. Love isn’t always perfect, but will always be pure when found in the right person

“Goals paane ki khushi tabhi mehsoos hoti hai … Jab usse kisi ke saath share kar sako” Love which makes you grow as a person is empowering. While Ayesha learns to address her feelings, she realises that she has fallen in love with the friendship she shared with Sid. Both allowed each other to grow individually and that helped them perceive their goals and feel respected for what they truly are.

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catal-ys-t · 5 years

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TO ALL THE BOYS I LOVED BEFORE

Since the famous Jenny Han’s book is now on its second sequel on Netflix, I have decided to have my own version of Lara Jean’s “unsent letter”. Who knows one of these guys might be my Peter Kavinsky, but oh, I highly doubt that. LOL

To Mr. Know-It-All

Lots has changed since you left and being with you today seems new to me. The person in front of me right now and the person I cried about few months back is like a different person. Not that you change physically (actually you remain the same) but because I felt nothing. Feelings are just gone.

I can consider you one of the most mature "crush" I ever had. Because of you I learned that I am capable of liking someone so strong without really actually waiting something in return. Because of you, I came to know , discover and love myself even more. So Thank you.

Tho, I couldn't thank you enough for everything you did for me. You showed me how much you cared for our friendship, you saved me from my loneliness when I was starting this new life. You have given me great camaraderie that I could consider family. You taught me that life is not supposed to be always on my side, that I need to learn to let go and accept the idea that I can’t please everyone. You showed me the reality I needed to see.

I cried for you, not because you hurt me. I cried because I was foolish enough to believe in my fantasies that we could be together, that we could be more than what we are. You changed my outlook in love, life in general. You changed me. In a good way. Thank you for being who you are. Thank you for being a friend and a mentor. Your memories will always be cherished.

To The “Fill-In” Boyfriend

I don’t know if you should be included here, I never liked you that way but sure, among all of them, you remain the consistent one. Consistent in a way that we are still the way we were since we’ve become friends. Maybe big factor of that is because we are not romantically involved.

People keep shipping us together. They always quote, “sana kayo na lang” “bakit hindi nlang kayo” “bagay kayo” , sometimes I wonder if that’s true. I would be lying if I told you I did not consider you, because I did, not just once, but a couple of times. If maybe, just “maybe” we were on the same boat, I might give it a try, but we are not...and I am always reminded about our friendship. If I am not 100% sure about you, then why risk it? What we have is so special that I can’t afford to lose, especially you.

You always supported me. Even in my craziest times, you never left my side. You know me well enough and that I could always run to you without worrying being judged. You know all my dramas and rants in life. You are definitely my ultimate human punching bag.

You fill the role of being a “boyfriend”. : you took pictures of me in an IG worthy way, you surprises me with my favorites , you are accompanying me with my galas and whereabouts, you are always in game when I wanted to make fun and joke around. We simply get each other and these kind of things about us is worthy to be kept and I will do whatever it takes just to protect it. I hope you know how much you mean to me.

To Mr. Almost

I hate you for making me like you so much. We are the exact opposite when it comes to almost “everything” and yet you still manage to amaze me and flatter my heart in every single thing you do.

We dated and hangout together, we texted and talked to each other until midnight, you waited for me after class; these are some efforts you did that I almost thought considering you.

You were the first guy after J, I was willing to take chances with but at the end of the day, I still end up walking away.

Life has given us so many chances to reconcile, too many times we lost touch and lost contact but keeps coming back. However, we both know that it ain’t gonna work. We were just too different. You said so yourself, it’s a good thing that we did not end up together because we will just hurt each other and ruin what we have. I couldn’t agree more.

You made me happy. You made me angry. My friends don’t like you for me, but I ignored them because I was fixated on the idea of being with you.

Until one day, I came to know that you were in a relationship with one of my friends back in high school few weeks after you flirted with me. W-H-A-T-A-J-E-R-K. *laughs*. But that’s okay, you see, I can’t stay mad at you knowing that we don’t really have the “label” to begin with.

I was foolish to believe that you could change and be a better man for me, but maybe I am not the right person and reason for you to and you are not for me. But I was glad, that you’ve become honest with me and choose to be my friend rather than nothing at all. Thank you for saving us.

To My High School Sweetheart,

Everyone has their “high school sweetheart”, someone they will never forget for the rest of their lives, and for me, that was you even we don’t get to go to the same high school.

Sooo Hi. This might be the nth letter I’m going to write for you. Actually, I already run out of words to say to you. I’ve been writing you a letter for ages but most of them was kept unread. I know you were too busy to care and none of those letters different with others; sorry’s and thank you’s are probably the context. But do you know what is the difference this time? I am writing this together with the letters for the other guys I used to like and realizing how much you mean to me and how deep our bond was, than the rest of them. What I have with them is nothing compared to what we had . It’s just magical that feels like it never happened.

We were immaturely young. We don’t know what we are putting ourselves into. We barely understand what “love” really meant but one thing I am sure of, you made me the happiest I could ever have been. It was like a dream. Your love was like a dream. I wish it never has to end.

Half of me still regrets, half of me don’t. We hurt each other, caused each other’s pain, there are things that should not have been said and done. It ruined us and I know things between us may never be the same anymore, but what we had gave us the clarity and reality of what life has to offer. It was indeed a beautiful disaster.

I am who I am today because of that experience and I am so grateful to God that I came to experience such as this. I don’t know if it’s even close enough of what they called “love” but it gives me opportunity to know myself more and realized what matters most in life.

I know God has His reason why it has to be with you. God gave me you, for a reason. We may not restore the friendship we had before, I know what we will have is better than that, besides, you are a family.

J, Thank you for everything and I am genuinely sorry for all the trouble and dramas I’ve caused you. Immature e. hehe .

You have a special place in my heart. Always have. Always will.

I’ll see you soon. :)

To My Puppy Love,

It is funny how we never had the chance to become friends. You were friends with my friends, our families are friends, I am friends with your family but we are never friends. LOL. We were too young back then when I was infatuated with you, that I almost thought I was in love with you. I started dreaming about you and me; I even wrote my first poem for you, and oh, my first love letter is written for you too (which is read by your whole family *blush*).

I don't know what keeps me liking you for so long, maybe one factor is that we never been close, I really don’t know you and that the image of you I created inside my head is so perfect that no other guy could match it. In addition, the teased I am getting from our friends and family is endless.

I was crazy about you. You were the prince charming I’ve been dreaming since I was a kid. You were the boy in my fantasies, the love story I have written inside my head. But boy, I don’t live on fantasies anymore. I outgrow that fairy tale.

I remember that one summer when you console me because I was heartbroken. I don’t know how it started, I just woke up one morning and you were there joking around with me. And to be totally honest with you, I don’t know what to feel, I just ended up my relationship with someone and yet I was happy because you were there for me and it was so wrong to feel. That summer, I thought we could be friends…or maybe more. But no. You have a girlfriend, you told me how much you loved her and I am overwhelmed with your honesty. I liked you more for that, but not in a way that wanted you to be mine. I knew back then that I am still not over J and I am just trying to forget the pain. After that summer, we are back in our normal…we never talked again.

For me, you will always be that person I never had the chance to be friends with, which is by the way for the best, because I want to keep your image pure and innocent. Lets keep it that way.

Nevertheless, I have to tell you how much I owe my childhood years to you. You made it more colorful and exciting. You inspired me so much and you have been part of the person who am I today. Thank you.

All Love,

Jes.

#diary #letters #private

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misfittedmishaps · 5 years

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Day 002: Who is that boy I see? - Reflection by Maju

Siya pa talaga? Lol. Siya pa talaga ang na-pressure sa akin? Eh sa aming dalawa, siya ang mayroong progress sa pagsusulat.

Kung mayroon man sa aming dalawa ang ma-pressure, I think it would be me. I mean, there’s a higher chance that the failure of this year-long project would be caused by me. Between us, ako ang mahilig hindi tumapos ng mga project. I know that, and I’m pretty sure, Dads also knows.

This is the reason why I’m very grateful to him. I mean, everyone would think that it’s not much, pero para sa akin, isang malaking bagay na pumayag pa rin siya na makipag-work sa akin. It would just mean na despite all my failures--despite all the project na hindi ko matapos-tapos dahil saan? Sa kawalan ng interes? Sa pagbabago ng desisyon? Despite sa lahat ng iyon, nand’yan pa rin siya.

He is still there, supporting me in my journey. Nandiyan pa rin siya, believing in me kahit na sarili ko, dina-doubt ko na. Kaya Dads, thank you for this! Isa ka talagang huwarang ama. Lol.

Anyway, let’s go to the question na ibinigay niya sa akin:

What are your reflections and realizations from the past year?

To be honest, the year 2019 wasn’t such a good year for me. Maraming nagbago. This is the year where I doubted myself and where I questioned the way I live. This year is where I asked myself kung para saan nga ako bumabangon (not sponsored by Nescafe, haha) at kung para saan nga ba itong ginagawa ko sa buhay. This is also the year where I’ve lost many things. Friends. Passion. Maybe pati ang old self ko, nawala na this 2019.

Pero sabi nga ni Catriona Gray, we must see situations with a silver lining (Taray, may pa-quote!). Pero siguro, tama siya. The year 2019 may have caused damages in my life, but maybe there’s a reason behind it. Siguro, may dahilan kung bakit kailangan ko mawasak muna this 2019, and maybe the reason why is dahil just like a phoenix who turned into ashes, I, too, shall rise again someday. Stronger than before. Braver than before.

Besides, marami rin naman akong natutunan ngayong year na ito. Maraming realizations na noo’y hindi ko alam pero natutunan ko this 2019, and here are these realizations:

Realization #1: I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.

I thought I was matured enough to know what to do in my life. Totoo iyan. In fact, akala ko pa nga, sa aming magpa-pamilya, ako ang pinaka-matured. Ang taas ng tingin ko sa sarili ko, to be honest. Akala ko, I would become successful. Akala ko, malayo ang mararating ko. Hindi pala. Sobrang layo pala ng expectation ko sa realidad kung saan ako nabubuhay.

In fact, the more I think about it, ako pa pala ang mas may chance na mag-fail. Ako pa pala ang marami pang hindi nalalaman sa buhay. And I’ve realized that life wasn’t just about what you’ll learn in school and what you’ll do at work. Life is more than that. It is so much more than that.

Because I thought I was independent but the reality is, I was so dependent with my parents na tingin ko, hindi ko kayang mabuhay sa isang bubong kung saan wala sila. Akala ko, I could excel and I could lift my family to a higher level than where we are right now. Akala ko lang pala iyon... Because it is not true that I was most likely to become successful. In fact, I would I was the one in the family who was most likely to fail.

...and it’s okay! In fact, it was more than okay. Realizing you’re weak is a strong act. I mean, not all people would realize their flaws. Pero ngayong na-realize na nating mayroon tayong weakness, it would just open an opportunity to grow. Because ngayong alam na natin ang weakness natin, it just means that we also know what we need to change in our life. We, now, know how to improve ourselves.

Realization #2: People come and people go, and when they go, there’s nothing you can do to stop them from leaving

Totoo ito. Even the person you think that would stay with you in your life for the rest of your life would leave at some point. It might be harsh and it seems pessimistic but it’s true. I know that it’s true.

I had people na naging part ng aking plano in the future. They are there with me at ini-include ko sila sa aking plano. I can also visualize them in my future. However, things change with them at some point of time. Hindi mo namamalayan that you both would grow apart, and the next thing you know? Magkaiba na ang daan na tinatahak niyong dalawa.

Siguro, the point of this realization is not that I should not let other people enter my life. That’s bull’s poop! Hindi naman por que alam nating they may separate ways with us, hindi na natin sila papapasukin. It’s just mean that we should not depend on them, and I do not mean this in a negative way kung saan sarili na lang natin ang pagkakatiwalaan natin. What I mean is, let them go. Because letting them go means letting them grow! Katulad natin, there might be times when we need other people to grow, but there are these times kung saan we only need ourselves.

Besides, maybe people leaving you is just temporary. Who knows? Baka next thing you know, after you guys both grew, magkasama na ulit kayo!

Realization #3: Don’t expect others to see your worth.

Siguro, my problem noon is that I’ve always want to please everyone for them to see how much I’m worth it. I do things, things na hindi ko naman talaga gusto gawin. I act like how everyone would want me to act, just to gain praises and appreciation. But was it fun? No.

I remember how I feel kapag hindi ko nasa-satisfy sila. It hurts to see na hindi ko makayanan i-please ang isang tao. It kills me to know na hindi nila ma-appreciate ang worth ko. For many years, lagi akong nanlilimos ng appreciation, and I am changing myself para lang ma-appreciate nila, but I’ve had enough. Natuto na ako.

The truth is that other people would never really see your worth, and I’m maybe generalizing, but we need to be reminded by this. Nakakapagod lang kasi na we need to work so hard and that we need to put up so much effort just for people to see our worth. Well, newsflash: Others. Would. Never. See. Your. Worth.

*moment of silence*

*looks at the screen*

*heaves a deep sigh*

Okay, fine! I was lying. The truth is... Other people could see our worth.

However, we should not think like this. Just because they see our worth doesn’t mean that we would put up much effort just to please them and appreciates us. That’s just plain wrong.

The reason why I said that they don’t see your worth is because I’ve realized that we should act like this, like no matter what we do or say, they would never see our worth. It’s the only way for us to free ourselves from pleasing them. It’s the only way of stopping ourselves from wanting to do everything just to see how we’re worth and start really defining to ourselves how we’re worth it. We should do what we want to do or act how we want to act. We should never conceal ourselves. We should ALWAYS be ourselves.

Now, if we can do this, and other people would appreciate us? Then good! But if they don’t, then who cares? Other people could not see our worth, but that is not important, because WE KNOW OUR WORTH.

In a nutshell...

Siguro maraming nangyari sa taon ng 2019. Maraming mga hindi magandang pangyayari na talaga nga namang bumago sa akin at sa buhay ko. However, these unfortunate events led me into learning things that I can use this year pati na rin sa mga sumusunod na taon. I know that I may not be as whole as I am on the start of the year 2019, but I know that I am stronger than before because of all the things that I’ve learn. That is, I think, is what is important.

Anyway, for my next question kay Dads, here it is:

What do you think should we do whenever we encounter a window of opportunity?

Anyway, iyon lang! Ciao ciao~

- Maju

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