#Dipper obviously goes to Bill to figure out what the fuck

[tswwwit]

Consorts/concubines/wife turning out to be backstabbers being really common in the demonic world, especially the ones higher in the social ladder, and some demons expecting dipper to be a traitor/backstabber. So demons that had a grudge against bill tried to communicate with Dipper that they're on his side for the betrayal, and dipper who is just starting to learn demonic writing doesn't understand all the subtext and metaphors.

Random Demon:"yes.. With someone so close to bill on our side, our plan will be complete!"

Dipper trying to decipher who is this guy that keeps sending him these cryptic letters and what does he mean by saying "To kill a no leg lizard with fangs is to make a trap with big mouth bird beak and the anger of mice thousands":

Very true! Lovers and partners turning out to be backstabbers is likely pretty common in the demon realm. And idioms and cultural references are super confusing, if you don't have the reference point!

Dipper's left reading about his opportunity to "Be the Urk'lagash of toe tickling' and immediately being

[crimeboys]

omg tell me more abt the gravity falls au

OKAY. so. basically. this whole au came up bc i was like well obviously tommy and tubbo make the most sense as mabel and dipper... but what if i want tragic crimeboys... BC I LOVE TRAGIC CRIMEBOYS.

so i haven't figured out all the details but the basic thing is that tommy and wilbur are stan and ford while tubbo and fundy are dipper and mabel. NOW they basically . are completely different characters. and ive changed a lot of the events of tommy and wilbur's past like they aren't bio brothers and they didn't have that ten year gap before wilbur gets tossed through the portal. again the details are fuzzy, but wilbur and tommy actually come across the town together and start working with dream (who will be the bill of this au) and then exile shenanigans blah blah blah anyway basically wilbur tells tommy that the only way to keep the world safe from dream is for him to get sent to another dimension blah blah blah tommy refuses blah blah blah they have a huge fight about it blah blah blah tommy ends up Accidentally sending wilbur through the portal. cue massive guilt that makes him spend 16 years trying to reopen the portal despite the fact that he might destroy the fucking world.

but basically the story starts with fundy and tubbo coming to stay with their uncle wilbur for the summer. here's an artistic rendition.

it's kind of weird and confusing and he's very scammy and kind of a dick but he's also funny and clearly cares about them and they end up bonding blah blah blah.

also fundy finds evidence that wilbur is not his uncle/adoptive brother (phil has been taking care of fundy his entire life), rather his Father. so he has some weird daddy issues about all this that are made worse by the fact that wilbur clearly favors tubbo.

but anyway wilbur is obviously actually tommy who faked his death and has been lying to everyone for years and even sends letters to phil pretending to be wilbur so everyone thinks he's still fine and kicking. and fundy is obviously actually wilbur's kid. he got with a salmon and well these things happen. fundy was probably a few months old? maybe a year? when wilbur goes through the portal. sally is dead (eaten) and tommy cant raise a kid so he sends him to phil under the guise of being wilbur who cant handle being a father.

anyway it's barely thought through except for the really funny parts (tommy pretending to be wilbur for 16 years/fundy thinking tommy is his father) but yeah.

[pandirpus]

Ford, Fiddle and Bill (as much as he fits those human categories anyway). Also Ati, Seto and Mokuba.

oh god so many characters, i say, of course not delighted at all to be able to ramble so much 8D

Ford

Sexuality Headcanon: Imho, he’d be that kind of asshat who’d call himself “sapiosexual”, which is of course conceited garbage - I headcanon him as gay. Very aro, but not ace. All of that is bit hard to say with absolute certainty though because Ford doesn’t actually have much sexual intercourse with actual human people in his life (he has no time for socializing and people in general, and so much more ~important~ things to do), but I do headcanon him having an active sex drive and him being kinky af. Just someone pull his hair and make him beg. He needs that. WHILE WE’RE AT IT Ford is a monsterfucker who would (and did) do the fricklefrackle with cryptids and triangles and extradimensional beings and the like.Gender Headcanon: Cis male.A ship I have with said character: As much as Ford annoys me, Ford is way too much fun to ship with literally everyone. Fiddleford/Ford owns my soul, and Bill/Ford owns my thirst.A BROTP I have with said character: Stan and Ford - that development! That co-dependency! That depth of the denial, and it all crumbling in the end, revealing that Ford just cut the person out of his life that he ironically loved and needed most! I really am emotional about them reconnecting, awkwardly, and Ford appreciating the hell out of Stan. But to quote @krokorobin, I’m also “here for exploring the more dysfunctional aspects of the relationship between Stan and Ford.” Also Ford and Dipper. In a way where I really want to explore Dipper getting less blinded by his admiration and seeing Ford’s flaws more clearly over time, them getting along extremely well still but Dipper being able to call out Ford and judge him for his bullshit at times. AND FIDDS AND FORD OF COURSE. Their friendship made me clutch my heart several times, and it was beautiful, until Ford ruined that thoroughly. As he does with everything. But them reuniting post-finale is important to me, if only for the sake of Fidds - as friends only though, there’s too much baggage in this relationship for them to make out again, and Fiddleford is not gonna be here for that anymore.A NOTP I have with said character: I KIND OF HIGHKEY THINK THAT NO ONE DESERVES TO BE TOGETHER WITH CERTIFIED LIFE RUINER FORD (except for Bill :D) but. I still ship most things because I’m weak for drama and rocky relationships. I guess Ford/any woman is just not working in my head at all, it’s too much for my suspension of disbeliefA random headcanon: The dimension hopping adventurer was actually what he wanted to be deep down all his life. Also a lot of the scars he has are not even adventuring scars, but more mundane lab accidents because he’s terrible at lab safety, and marks Bill left on him. There’s a triangle shaped burn mark that won’t quite fade right below his ribcage, and Ford will never tell anyone how that got there, and just wear his turtleneck of shame forever.General Opinion over said character: I rarely encountered a character that honest to god made me so mad I had to put the Journal down and fume silently, and also rant for hours. Ford’s mistakes directly make characters miserable that I love deeply, and boy, his entire self-righteous asshattery at the expense of the people that love him despite of it is just so *clenches fist* Frustrating. And punchable. BUT I think I barely ever encountered a character like this that is honestly pissing me off while also being very well written and being called out by the narrative for their douchebaggery and their flaws. There’s development, and the narrative is not unproportionally sympathetic towards Ford. That makes all the difference to me. So I can actually enjoy hating him and also lovehim for the frustrating jerk he is! And I do love him for the absolute delight a character like that is to play with in fanwork - most of all, I appreciate a character where I can full-heartedly indulge in seeing them get rekt in fanwork I’m not even joking, that is important to me.

*

Fiddleford

I’m just gonna link @krokorobin​‘s answer on Fidds because his opinions are such absolute truths!

LET ME JUST STATE THAT HE HAS GROWN ON ME SO MUCH MY HEART ACHES WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE SOFT NOODLE MAN

*

Bill

Sexuality Headcanon: He doesn’t give a shit? Not as in he does not care about sex, but like, about gender and that whole fleshbag business. Bill’s here for everything that is funky and fresh and twisted and not boring - and he is intrigued by human experiences, so sex is definitely among potentially interesting things. I definitely think he’d be here for ppl getting off on worshipping him etc, but mostly and first and foremost he’s into messing with people, and sex is one way to do that. More than actual sexual pleasure, he’s a sucker for pain, because obviously, pain is intense and hilarious. He doesn’t actually experience sexual arousal (or even pain in the way a human does) when he’s not possessing a body though. Gender Headcanon: Triangle who never did the gender paper work to figure himself out, goes with male human pronouns for human convenience.A ship I have with said character: Bill/Ford. It’s a shitpost in form of a ship. I am in love. And sorta everything that has to do with Bill possession shenanigans, like Bill!Ford (Bord?) making out with Fidds and stuff like that :3A BROTP I have with said character: Fandom made me care a little about Bill and his monsters friends, especially Pyronica, partying very hard so I guess that’s the closest I have to that.A NOTP I have with said character: Bill/Mabel. A random headcanon: Is a whiny, rambly drunk. General Opinion over said character: I am destined to love this tiny yelly trash triangle. He is an absolute delight, and also his design is cute as fuck. Also he brings all my kinks and my love for ships that are twisted and messed up but also silly and hilarious to the yard.

will answer the others over on @deadboysduelbetter soon

[marshonthemellow-primary]

hi so i read your billdip pirate fic and its really good but idk if youre going to continue it so could you please let me know? sorry if im being pushy but im kinda in fanfic limbo here rn lol

oh my god yes hi I didn’t expect anyone to ever find my tumblr again let alone message me

ye I’m probably not going to update the fic anytime soon??? I’m really really REALLY sorry about that… Fandom’s kinda dead and I’m actually working on an original novel now? (and also university #ripme) I’m super glad you like what I’ve managed to write though!!! 

If it’s any consolation, the ending I had planned involved Dipper and Bill somehow getting together (because I never managed to figure out how lmao) and cute fluff happened. Exhausted Dipper saying “fuck it” and straight up falling asleep in the pond with Bill, soaked to the bone, while Bill sings about his One True Love under the stars and moonlight because I am a DISGUSTING ROMANTIC SAP and everything.

But ANYWAYS, the plot was that Dipper would have to leave Bill in the pond for a few days while the Pines went out to explore the rest of the island but then LO AND BEHOLD Gideon has of course followed the Mystery Shack pirates to the island and finds Bill. He captures him and brings him back to his ship where he dumps him in a fairly sized aquarium in the Captain’s quarters? 

Then Bill overexerts himself by reaching out to Dipper via dreams. Dipper and the rest of his crew follow what directions Bill managed to tell them and stage an ambush attack to rescue Bill. It was going to be fairly EPIC with the mutineer half of the Mystery Shack crew having joined Gideon and wanting revenge and then Dipper dodging his way to the other side of the battlefield and breaking into the Captain’s quarters where he finds Bill in the aquarium (and maaaaaybe there was going to be a cheesy touching-palms-through-the-glass moment, we will never know). Then Gideon (of course, the little shit) interrupts, and actually I’ve never decided whether I really wanted him dead or not, and whether it would Dipper or Mabel that would kill him if I did. But anyways, Dipper gets Bill out and kinda like… just dumps him overboard?? very anti-climactic I weep.

Bill manages to sing the enemy pirates from the beach and into the ocean Gideon’s ship was anchored in. Whether they just kinda fall asleep or get eaten by the rest of the sirens is honestly just up to your own taste really.

Then I have absolutely no idea what happens. All I know is that first there’s The Angst because Dipper has to leave the island someday but Bill isn’t about to spend the rest of his life in an aquarium on the Mystery Shack just to stay with Dipper (once was quite enough thank you), so Dipper prepares to leave the island and Bill behind despite both their broken hearts. But when Dipper and the rest of the crew row back to the Mystery Shack, the other sirens ambush them again but only so that they can give The Shovel Talk™ to Dipper on Bill’s behalf. And then Dipper more or less runs back to Bill (and that just sounds so cheesy when said like that but I assure you it’s a Very Emotional Scene *snort*) and “convinces” him (it doesn’t take a lot of arguing, let’s be honest here) to leave with him on many many pirate adventures (and instead of being kept trapped in an aquarium, Bill would just swim alongside the ship until they’d get to a small deserted island Bill could live in while Dipper goes off and does his thing. Sometime during the story Bill would’ve gotten a magical item allowing him to use his dream powers to communicate with Dipper even from really really far away???? maybe idk).

There was a rough idea of a sequel maybe happening (obviously not going to be anymore) with a fairly important Mabifica storyline (as in, a good 50-50 split between billdip and mabifica). Pacifica would’ve basically been Elizabeth Swann from Pirates of the Caribbean 1 except with more Honest And Good Communication and Talking About Feelings with Mabel. The billdip storyline would’ve started with Dipper loosing dream-contact with Bill for (to his knowledge) no reason at all so of course he panics and gets the crew to divert course to Bill’s island ASAP only to discover that the idiot made a deal with some other supernatural creature (I don’t remember who it was but it was basically the Gravity Falls version of Ursula from The Little Mermaid) to get legs in exchange for his dream powers (instead of his voice I guess). Then it’s basically just Dipper trying to teach Bill how to be a Proper Human™ and Bill not having it. 

OH AND ALSO I just now remembered Bill had some Tragic Backstory™ to be revealed. Basically he was born in a lake up north (AKA the good ol’ US of A) where he lived a pretty decent life until some human settlers started up a village on one of the banks. The humans started fishing in the lake, of course, making it hard for the sirens to hunt themselves. So it was rough for a while but the sirens made do and left the humans well enough alone. But then one day there was a little child playing on the beach while Bill (still quite young) was also playing nearby and so, trying to make friends, Bill started singing.

I think we all know what happens next.

The child, of course, drowns. The villagers, outraged and grieving, took their boats out and hunted the sirens down (they’d also sing and laugh sadistically while doing so because That’s How I Roll). Bill is the only survivor, and that’s because his parents managed to free him from capture (by literally overturning the boat because I swear the entire family has No Chill). They urged him to swim as fast as he could to where the lake flowed into a river (that led to the ocean) and Bill watched as his mother was killed right in front of him before the rapids took him down. 

He then spent months travelling southwards, eating what little he could scavenge and cowering in fear of every new creature he saw (because any of them could be a predator, especially the ones with the sharp teeth) until Tad found him and brought him to live with the colony. 

AND THAT’S ALL FOLKS

I think there were more plot holes/mysteries to be solved in the fic but fuck me if I can remember them. Just ignore them really. The fic’s like 2-3 years old now idk.