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#Dnd incorrect quotes
animentality · 9 months
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My friend's wizard character: This chalice of wisdom exudes great power...those who drink from it are rumored to go mad with the revelations of the universe and achieve the power to speak with the gods...
My rogue character: do you think we can sell it
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frenchvani11a · 9 months
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Another dnd story
Dm: Twenty goblins rush out of the room. They are enraged and are wondering why there are intruders in their castle.
Me (bard): I’ll talk us out of it!
Dm: How..?
Me: I’ll convince them I’m an architect. I’m inspecting this castle and that they should leave because the building is unstable
Everyone: What the heck?!
Dm: Okay… But if you fail this, they’ll be even more mad and will only attack you. And remember, Quince, there are twenty.
The rest of the party: RIP Quince, goodbye to our beloved bard
Me: *Rolls a twenty after talking like a used car salesman for five minutes*
Hell yeah!
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me: so for my new character I'm thinking of making her an amazon warrior paladin.
dm: sounds good! any name ideas?
me: alek'sa.
dm:
dm: get out
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anonamous-blue · 11 months
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DM: OK look, this bit isn't in character and I genuinely just need to ask you a question.
Players(including me): alright
DM: what the fuck have you done? How did it get to this point?
Barbarian: well if someone didn't pull all the levers and then leave.
Me(fighter): in Rogue's defence it was very in character
Rogue: *in a raspy voice reminiscent of the fish people we infiltrated*
DEATH TO DEEPWATER
DEATH TO THE ARCIMIDIANS
ALL HAIL ARCHPRIEST GILLGEMAROCK
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hey-presto · 2 months
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-Eric almost gets in the way of a spell-
Presto: Eric! I could have killed you!
Eric: Okay? So could anyone, so could a very dedicated duck! You’re not special, Presto.
Presto:???
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Fighter: Hey, Corrupted Cleric! You used to be religious, right? Will I get smited by God if I use holy water to wash the Priest's blood of my hands?
Corrupted Cleric: ...
Corrupted Cleric Player: Do I have to roll for that?
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dropout-wizards · 10 months
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Session tomorrow!!! Some more quotes until then :)
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weeamdeadinside · 2 years
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Rogue: what did you get ranger for their birthday?
Wizard: I got them a dog.
Paladin: I also got then a dog.
Cleric: oh, I also got ranger... DID WE ALL GET RANGER A DOG?
Warlock, sweating: yes?
Artificer: guys, we might have over done this.
Ranger, in his room, surrounded by six puppys, weeping for joy: This is the best birthday ever
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Dominance
Barbarian: *Screams*
Bard: *Screams louder to assert dominance*
Wizard: Should we stop them?
Rogue: No, I wanna see who wins this.
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Rogue: i know thieves' cant
Cleric: thieves can't what
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letsgoravendors · 2 years
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Kitty: Okay, now someone should be a Cleric for this campaign — Anna do you wanna be one?
Cleves: Why would I heal someone when I can just murder the thing killing them?
Kitty: That.....
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d20daily · 1 year
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An eladrin shopkeep of indiscriminant age named Hankly Throngs. He always has exactly what you need  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) and knows exactly what you want ( ಠ‿<)
His cat Boris is not a cat.
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owlheartt · 2 years
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Woooo 3 of my sketchbook pages :)) btw in case you folks forgot the final panel is me, my boyfriend, and our friend’s DnD characters from a campaign that is now complete :) if you wanna hear more about their adventures go ahead and search up “DnD quotes” on my blog or send me an ask :))
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See Invisibility doesn't negate the Invisible condition? - (Strangely enough) LEGAL
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Invisibility grants a creature the invisible condition and See Invisibility lets creatures to see invisible targets. However, even though it seems like the Invisible condition is set to follow the rules on Unseen Attackers as discussed in Chapter 9, the second phrase in the Invisible condition dictates that:
"Attack rolls against the creature have disadvantage, and the creature’s Attack rolls have advantage."
With how the phrase is worded, at face value, it does imply that a creature affected by the Invisible condition has those benefits whether they are seen or not by their targets.
We can agree that this isn't RAI, but with no errata yet from WotC, I guess this is still the RAW description of the condition.
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-Incorrect quotes from my dnd party-
Percy: What the hell.
Rev: [stuffing their mouth with bugs] What?
Percy: [looks at Xyxis] no..
Xyxis: [also stuffing his mouth with bugs] What?
- - -
Morrus: I hate you all
Rev: Why?
Morrus: [frustrated gesturing]
- - -
Rev: [wakes the party up by cawing]
Percy: Shut up!
Rev: [caws at Percy]
Percy: [grabs duck-tape]
Rev: [muffled cawing from the closet]
Theodwin: What's that sound?
Percy: Rev.
Theodwin: [goes back to sleep]
- - -
Theodwin: What do we say, when someone feels hurt by something you say?
Percy/Xyxis: Hoe's mad.
Theodwin: [distant muffled screams]
- - -
Percy: Non-consensual knife play. Also known as stabbing.
Percy: [stabs Theodwin]
Theodwin: Ow.
Xyxis: My turn!
Xyxis: [stabs Percy]
- - -
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hey-presto · 1 month
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Sheila: I’m kinda cold-
Hank: Oh here, take my jacket!
*meanwhile*
Presto: I’m cold
Eric: Well GEEZ Presto, I can’t change the weather
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