#Don't make fun of me for wanting to be popular here ik that's like insane

[scaredofmyocs]

I really need to post more (not just reblog shit lmao) and part of me wants to do that thing where I destroy/abandon my Tumblr and make a new one but man that's also a lot of work. Hm.

[sharaxofficial]

Do you remember what it was like as a budding artist? (Ik it’s a random question but I just thought yesterday like “hey—everyone who is famous online had at least one night when they were just staring at their notifications to see if they got any recognition only to get, like, a single ping.”)

I'll be fr, starting out my work wasn't that good LOL-

And it was discouraging because there were a lot of remixers I looked up to who were already very good, and I wanted to be like them. My ratios weren't great, I often would get a lot of dislikes starting out in my MLP remixing days, a lot of comments how they were kinda ass, I'm not entirely sure why I kept uploading publicaly thinking back. But I also wrote music for me. That's how it's always been. In fact, I have probably a hundred songs nearly done that I've just kept to myself, when I get bored I just write something new to binge. And eventually I'll release them for you sure, but that's what I mean by writing for me.

I wasn't trying to become a popular remixer or pursue it as a job, back in the day (2013) it was pretty uncommon to make a living from being a youtuber. Youtube was more like a place you just uploaded stuff, just things you'd create. Sure you had "Youtubers" like say Markiplier, but I don't remember many people saying they wanted to become one and drop college for it. Which is what I did actually in 2016 when I was just barely getting anywhere YT wise and in my senior year of high school. It was an insane risk tbh lmfao-

If you were decent, maybe you'd start to grow a following. TF2 and FNAF were generally the same, my remixes were ok but people thought my work was irregular and strange. The ratios spoke for themselves. It wasn't until Undertale that my particular style of writing started to take off, I think people started to see it as my music's personality, less "this remix sounds strange" and more "everything this person writes sounds fkn weird" and they'd sub to hear more LOL

I think every time someone clicks on a new release of mine they don't know what to expect and that makes it fun & enjoyable for me. I think that's why people keep coming back, even with new Deltarune chapters, they're always back to see SharaX. They have no idea what tf I'll do next. There's a lot of people who come back just for my music, even if they're not into AU's (like here on Electrostatic)-

So I think there's a community for everything even when you're just starting out, hard part is finding out where. I do remember what it was like for sure. It was a struggle for me personally and people weren't the nicest back then in 2013 era, but I guess that's also a good lesson to keep trying because you never really know where it might lead you (◐ω◑ )