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sexiestpodcastcharacter · 6 months

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Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Round 5

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

#Propaganda for Glenn Close: one of the other PCs mentions multiple times how hot he is #Actually several characters point it out but especially Henry #Also the only person in a podcast that has to put a disclaimer about not being a BDSM podcast to have had sex during the course of the show

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

HE HAS A BOOK THAT HE MARKS X’S AND CHECKS FOR EVERY DAY TO SEE IF THAT DAY WAS A SUCCESS OR NOT. TO SEE IF HE DID GOOD THAT DAY. ITS ALMOST ENTIRELY X’S. HE WAS CUCKED OUT OF A SON. AND A DEAD WIFE. HE DIDN’T EVEN GET TO KILL HIS DAD IN REVENGE. There’s absolutely nothing going for him except his sex appeal in his life. Nobody he loved remembers him. He lost his eye. All he has is a pet rat and friends who admit they don’t really like him that much. He was kicked out of his own band. The band was named after him. He was kicked out of the Glenn Close trio. All he could do was deez nuts the big bad and be sexy. If nothing else, then pity him. Look in his eyes. Look at his heart and soul. He did not do the BDSM episode for this I’ll tell you what. Do this for my his sake. Do it for Nick Jr, who needs the prize money to pay for his rat snacks. Do it for his son. For Morgan. Ganbatte.

Glenn is the goofiest sexiest character there is and I will die on this hill! I will ride into battle for him! what Dndads created is truly unique and Glenn is a key part of that and for that he deserves to win. I said it before and I'll say it again - GLENN SWEEEEEP

Can we talk about how he says ‘baby’ casually? Like he just calls people that?? That’s HOT. THAT IS HOT!! He’s also bilingual and knows Japanese!!!! He’s a big dumb idiot with a lot of charisma!!!!!! HE WORKED AT A BDSM PLACE FOR TWO SEPARATE ONE SHOTS. HES SO SAD BUT PLAYS IT OFF LIKE HE’S CHILL ALL THE TIME!! HE DOESN’T THINK OF HIMSELF AS SINGLE BECAUSE HE DIDN’T DIVORCE HIS DEAD WIFE!!! He’s like.. the perfect guy. We need this win.

I’d also like to add the fact I made this. Which is the first 11 episodes edited to (almost) only have Glenn in them <3 which is a level of insanity I hope to reiterate. These took hours to make. I wouldn’t do that for anyone else.

Mod Note: While I will still take "bad dads are sexy" propaganda and "bad dads aren't sexy" anti-propaganda, I kindly request no more discussion on whether or not he was a bad father. This is a sexypoll, not a parentingpoll. If you see a post you strongly disagree with, you can just not reblog it.

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Amber Gris (The Adventure Zone: Ethersea):

Middle aged woman who punches sharks to death. My hero

If you love me you'll vote for amber gris I swear to everything holy on earth amen

Amber is butch, instant win

Amber Gris has a negative charisma modifier and she pissed her pants on purpose in order to trick a guard and knock him out. She tied up a dude. She once killed an evil magic shark (they're out for murder. not like real sharks) by punching it and then picked it up and smashed it into another shark, also killing it. She talks in a southern accent. She calls people guppy because it indicates a lack of respect. She has a big pair of magical green arms that come from her stomach. She got a fancy jacket and immediately ripped its sleeves off. She has a gay thing going on with one of the political leaders in the city. She gets in fights with people and doesnt do vulnerability and tries to lay low and not get in any social trouble she doesn't have to. She jumped through a portal into a new world because she could. She's now the god of said world, alone with only afformentioned political leader, who was previously possessed and she had to fight. She spends her time in a bar called the Cloaca. She calls people she doesn't like claspers, because it means shark penis. She and her friend, an old man named Uncle Joshy, sneak attack each other and yell VIBE CHECK! She tries to talk fancy to impress people and she's really bad at it (verily).

She’s everything and more. She’s irreverent. She punches sharks for a living. She becomes God. What more do you need in a butch.

amber gris propaganda: she is straightup the physical embodiment of "women want me, fish fear me." also she's an appalachian post apocalyptic sea captain. that's just objectively cool.

AMBER GRIS IS PUNCHES SHARKS AND IS (one of) THE MOST BADASS BLACK WOMEN PCS IN DND SHOWS IVE EVER SEEN. SHES INCREDIBLE AND A WIN FOR DYKES EVERYWHERE

amber's creator said she was based off of the type of working-class woman you commonly see in appalachia where "this is the sort of woman that you see walking past CVS, and you know that a truck could hit her and it would just split around her as she continued to go pick up whatever she had to do that day." and that's pretty hot

guys Amber becomes lesbian god of the new world with her childhood “”friend””

#amber gris is LITERALLY a middle-aged butch #she would win this entire tournament in a just world

Last time Amber got horny was when she killed that shark

"it was a savage bummer though, don't-- trust me, there's nothing that great about a history. You know? I got one. What did I do, killed a bunch of sharks? Last time I got horny, god and christ I can't even tell you-- well, it was when I killed that shark. But! Hey. We're all just kinda figuring it out."

Moonshine Cybin (Not Another D&D Podcast: Bahumia):

She's a hot elf with mushrooms growing on her. She has 1 level of barbarian. She's bisexual. She shapeshifted into a dragon and ate a god.

how tf does the post not mention Moonshine’s giant boobs her greatest asset

Moonshine has canonically gone down on a woman for a solid hour without asking for anything in return. Moonshine edged a dryad just by kissing them. Moonshine faced down someone being controlled to kill everyone in his path and told him if he still wanted to hurt her, she would take his blows as a friend. Moonshine makes jambalaya for her family and friends. Moonshine mispronounced someone’s name for a month and that woman still wanted to hook up with Moonshine. These are just a few of the reasons why Moonshine is sexy.

shes illiterate

canonically huffs dirty water from a bong

has big tatas

wears a belly chain with a demon trapped in it

almost became the queen of hell

ate a god

turned into a pregnant moose & gave birth

The woman she went down on for an hour asking nothing in return is still hung up on her, 200 years later. Moonshine is unmatched

To be clear the woman whose name Moonshine mispronounced for a month and then hooked up with is the same woman she went down on for an hour, and the same woman who is still flustered over her 200 years later. The rizz is unparalleled. She’s also incredibly kind and accepting of others, and goes out of her way to bolster her friends. The party always requests one big bed.

moonshine cybin is a druid who learned counterspell through sheer force of will. moonshine cybin turned one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse into a dolphin, flew him 60 feet up into the air, dropped him on the ground, and then spit spores into his face to kill him. moonshine cybin turned into a dragon and bit the head off of a double god. moonshine cybin was willing to confine herself to an eternal hell to save the world. moonshine cybin is a dragon rider. you know what you must do.

Amber and Moonshine Together

Look at them. They should not have to fight when they could be gay instead. Imagine the power they would have combined... Every lesbian in a hundred mile radius of the post would swoon. It may be an odd alliance, but from an Ethersea fan to Bahumia fans, i believe this will strengthen both our odds. I have always been insane about Amber Gris but through this poll I have also learned about Moonshine and come to love her too. Take my hand... We can do this together...

OKAY HEAR ME OUT MOONSHINE AND AMBER WOULD GET ALONG SO WELL

appalachian sapphic solidarity!

Art of Amber and Moonshine from @pirateknight.

#Round 5 #Glenn Close #Glenn Close DnDads #Moonshine Cybin #Amber Gris #Not Another D&D Podcast #Bahumia #The Adventure Zone #TAZ Ethersea #Dungeons & Daddies #Dungeons and Daddies

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ettawritesnstudies · 1 year

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Etta's Guide to Writeblr (March 2023)

So you fled here from Twitter/TikTok... Where to start?

Welcome to Writeblr! Pull up a chair, open those documents, and pour yourself a cup of your favorite tea, coffee, or cocoa. The first thing you'll want to do is start following other writers. Check out this post for recommendations! Search through the notes to find hundreds more. Since I made that post, a bunch of people mentioned they're lurking and still trying to figure out tumblr, so I thought I'd make this post to help people get settled.

How to set up your blog

Make your blog name something not resembling a pornbot - it can be whatever you want, anything fun goes, just not [name###]. If you include "writer" or "author" somewhere in the url it makes it easier to spot writeblrs at a glance but it's not a requirement

Change your profile to something that's not the default, Make sure you have a blog title, and add a little description in your blog header if you feel like it!

Make a pinned post introducing yourself (pls don't use your real name or any IDing information for privacy's sake, this isn't facebook), a short summary of your WIPs, and links if you have an author's website/newsletter/ao3/etc. You can check my pinned post for an example

Make intro posts for each WIP! You can spruce these up with graphics (canva and unsplash are both great free resources to make edits/moodboards), excerpts, lists of tropes, character intros, etc. Link to the WIP intro in your pinned post so it's easy to find! You can update these as often as needed

If you want to make character intros, go wild. If you can't draw, piccrew is a great option. Just start talking about your WIP!

Come up with a tagging system to keep your blog organized. I recommend individual wip tags or at least one for your original writing in general so it's easy to search for your work on your blog

Keep track of Taglists for your WIPs. Whenever you post a new thing about your story, tag the people who asked to be notified to make sure they see it! Only tag people who ask to join the taglist, but it's a good way to keep track of interest. It's normal to have multiple taglists for each story+ one general writing taglist.

How to make writer friends

Reblog their work and add nice comments, either in the tags, comments, or the reblog itself People notice regulars in their notes and appreciate the attention. I promise it's not weird to compliment a total stranger

If that's too intimidating, community events are your friend!

Weekly Ask Games: These are weekly events that are loosely themed where writers send each other asks about their WIPs! The most common are Storyteller Saturday (about the writing process), Blorbsday (aka Blorbo Thursday about characters), and Worldbuilding Wednesday (about the setting of your story). If you answer these late, nobody really cares, but it's a fun way to receive prompts and learn more about other people's stories.

Ask Games/Memes: These are posts with lists of questions you can reblog from other people, sometimes themed or listed with emojis. It's common courtesy to send an ask from the list to the person you reblog it from, then people can send you questions as well, so you can talk about your stories! You can search for dozens of them

Tag games: There's a ton of different types of tag games, but basically someone @s you with a challenge/question, you reblog with your answer, and then @ a bunch of other people to continue the chain. Some common ones are Heads Up 7s Up (share the last 7 lines of your WIP), Last Line Tag (share the last line you wrote), and Find the Words (ctrl+f the given words in your doc and share the results, then give new words).

Formal events: These are community wide participation challenges organized by certain blogs! @writeblrsummerfest is every July?? August? I think? It's run by @abalonetea a few years strong, and there are daily prompts and ask games! @inklings-challenge is a month-long short story entry for Christian writeblrs. I think there was a valentines event in February. @moon-and-seraph is hosting a pitch week soon! Since these are more organized, it's very easy to find similar blogs and support!

Misc. Notes on using Tumblr

Follow the tags #writeblr and #writeblr community to find other writers, as well as other tags that interest you like #fantasy for example

If you want to bookmark a post to read later, you can like it and/or save it to your drafts

The queue/schedule function is very useful if you want to space out posts or have a backlog to keep your blog running when you get busy. This is good for the community because it gives older posts a chance to be rediscovered! You can change the posting frequency in the settings.

REBLOG YOUR OWN STUFF. People aren't always on at the same times and so it's the best way to account for people with different schedules and timezones. If you're worried about being annoying, you can tag those #self reblog or something similar and other people can filter the tag, but otherwise it's a welcomed and accepted practice.

If your excerpt is pretty long, put it under a cut. On desktop you can do this by selecting the squiggly button on the far right when you make a new paragraph, on mobile type :readmore: then hit enter.

It's polite to add descriptions to images and videos for visually or auditory impaired people. If you don't know how to write descriptions, here's a good resource

In your dashboard settings, it's best to shut off the options "Best Stuff First" and "Based on your Likes". These function as the website algorithm and suppresses the blogs you actually follow, which defeats the purpose of the site, letting the dash be in reverse chronological order. Also turn off Tumblr Live because it's malware as far as anyone's concerned.

Curate your experience, block the trolls, and be nice

Update for March 2024

How to shut off AI Scraping on your blog

Go to settings and find the Visibility tab

Scroll down to the tag that says "Prevent Third-Party Sharing"

Turn that knob over so that Automattic can't steal your work for their language training model databases >_<

The other settings will just hide your blog from search engines so they're useful for hiding from nosy parents or other Tumblr users but if you're trying to build an author platform you can leave them off.

Again, welcome to the community! I hope you have a ton of fun!

#writeblr #writer community #etta rambles #welcome to tumblr #guide to tumblr

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yukipri · 1 year

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May 4th 2023 Art, Clones Edition WIP Post!

It’s almost May 4th!! Doing another BIG project this year, and also hoping to make it interactive!

Here's last year’s art (and the commentary version!). I call this a "Where's Waldo" style art, where there's just a ton of characters cluttered together, and the fun is in identifying them and how they're interacting with those around them!

I’m hoping to do something similar this year, except it’ll be all clones (and their progenitor)!

The Interactive part:

There are more clones that i want to draw than i possibly have the time to draw. So if you have any boys that you’d like to see included, please feel free to reblog this post and add names in the tags/comments to boost their chances!

I’ll be posting WIPs as i go! Less than a week left, wish me luck ;_;

＊Note, I'll be collecting votes from across my social media platforms, feel free to check out this project on my twitter and/or insta too!

Round 1:

Jango

Boba

Omega

#YukiPri art #May the 4th be with you #Star Wars #Clone Troopers #Clones #TCW #the clone wars #Jango Fett #Boba Fett #artists on Tumblr #Omega #longpost #long post #fanart #WIP

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best-transgender-character · 2 months

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Hi everyone. I've been putting some thought into the best way to bring this up without making light of it, since this is a serious topic and this is a very unserious blog. I don't want to reblog a bunch of individual posts without context and explanations attached, but if I find posts that I feel are thorough and explain what is going on, I may reblog them. Here is a summary, for anyone completely unaware of what is happening:

A trans woman (Rita, URL was Predstrogen, now Cyprederone) has had her account falsely flagged as NSFW and banned multiple times as a result of a transmisogynistic harassment campaign against her. You may have seen people talking about how her transition timeline has been flagged mature content, multiple times.

Support have been unhelpful when it comes to the harassment, and dubiously helpful about restoring accounts until this latest event.

People reached out to Photomatt about the topic, who is the CEO of Tumblr. He decided to respond, claiming that Rita was personally harassing him and posting death threats about him. This does not line up with the official reason why Rita was banned, which was "sexually explicit materials". The "death threat" was a slapstick post about an exploding car full of hammers. Matt threatened to contact the police or FBI about the threat, used neutral pronouns for Rita despite being informed of her pronouns, and even referred to her as 'it' in one sentence. He referred to Rita as "pergstrogen" in one post, which may be a particularly unfortunate typo, but may also be an ableist slur. He also sent people direct messages about the topic. Matt denied any possibility of transmisogyny playing a part, and suggested that people who feel this site is not safe for trans women should just leave to a different site.

Rita has been banned for life. Several people criticising Matt for this have also been banned.

Please pay attention to this, read other posts about it, look at Photomatt's blog (archived as of 21/02) to see the way he has handled this and Cyprederone's blog to see Rita's statement.

Here are all of Photomatt's posts about the topic, please check the notes of them to see people's responses as well as people archiving his comments. Edit: These posts have been deleted. I'm unsure if there is an archive somewhere of the comments, but these links are now the webarchive links to these posts.

You gonna do anything or make any statement about the rampant transmisogyny on this hellsite (original post with they/them) (first edit with "the account") (second edit with she/her) (archive of most recent edit)

I love this site and I’m sorry so many people are determined to ruin it.

So, the terfs and neonazis are fine, but a trans women giving threatening you is where you draw the line?

You should really feel bad about how transphobic tumblr is

all you ever do is drop the ban hammer on trans women you don't like, while casually ignoring the harassment they face

can I report your beahviour, or?

it's been four hours and nothing you've said has made this decision look better

Why did you misgender her lmao

❤ (heart emoji) [I don't yet have an archive of this. Please reach out if you have an archive of this, although there wasn't much relevant in this post.]

I'm continuing to get harassment and death threats here

My Beliefs and Principles

Tweeting Rita's saved URLs

He is further arguing with people on Twitter.

[Edit] Staff have now made a PR statement about the topic.

Please give trans women your love and support, and remember that this is deeply serious transmisogyny, not just an excuse to joke about car hammer explosions.

#transmisogyny #this is a very link heavy post so lmk if i fucked any of them up #a previous version of this post included a link to a blog that was only visible if you have an account. that should be rectified now #added archived links for several of the links as well as added two new photomatt posts #cyprederone has been taken down

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 6 months

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Ayo Sidebar for the Writers

Am I the only one that genuinely feels really really bad for that person on here who hand draws those really really nice portraits of Miguel??

EDIT: THEY'RE DIGITAL WHICH IS ALSO INSANE BECAUSE THEIR ART STYLE GOES SO HARD EXCUSE ME

Because the amount of writers in this fandom that are comfortable with just taking and cropping their art for their fics is deadass disrespectful as hell.

Like.. it's everyday. Multiple people do it. You know the artist I'm talking about. Like -

Very bold of y'all. Stealing art then posting it in the SAME TAG as the artist like they wouldn't see it.

That takes a lot of nerve.

Some are y'all are cheeky and put it at the very end - some of y'all just don't fucking care.

'the signature is in the photo so-'

Okay but thank them. Tag them and shout them out and thank them. Thank them for making art that is bringing in readers.

Go ahead and thank them.

But you can't. Y'all won't. Cause you know they don't want you using their stuff without asking first.

Posting someone else's art with credit but without consent is already one thing. But y'all don't even care about credit.

But let someone take y'all writing and you'd be kicking off, rightfully so.

I feel real bad for that artist because their work is stunning and top tier and they're amazing talented.

Yet there's some ppl that be like -

'thanks!' *likes, doesn't reblog, crops their signature out and uses it without consent*

????????????

Like.. having uncredited art at the top of your fic doesn't make it look prettier or more inviting to me.

In fact it makes me wanna read it less. I try and check profile pictures so I remember who to avoid in the future.

Like every time I see it I'm like

Uuhh uuuum okay yeah -

Why should I respect your art when you clearly don't respect someone else's?

I'll open the fic and scroll to the bottom knowing they didn't give credit. Or they put it in tiny font.

That artist deserves better. A lot of artists in this fandom deserve better. Y'all do it to Miguel artists. Y'all do it to Hobie artists.

Not cool. Not cool. Lame. Boooo booooooooooo Me and Hobie shouting BOOOO!!

Writers, Artists are protective of their art too!

Not nice working 10+ hours on art just to see it on the post of a complete stranger with no credit or attempt to contact you for consent.

If you do this - you can change. Doing this may in fact be HURTING your numbers but driving people away. But the point is not the notes but respecting other people. If you do this, please stop. Credit them at the top if anything - some artists don't even want that.

Credit them AT THE TOP - not at the bottom. Everybody who scrolls by sees the art. The credit shouldn't be saved for the people who actually read the whole fic.

If you defend this - KICK ROCKS!!!!

#I'm debating whether to tag them or name them because they deserve their peace #but this is just something I've observed within the fandom #and they're an amazing breathtakingly talented artist #the disrespect writers in this fandom show artists is EVERYWHERE #spiderman #atsv #spider man #marvel #across the spiderverse #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara #hobie brown #miguel x reader #miguel o hara #Miguel O'hara x reader #Hobie brown x reader #Hobie x reader #hobie brown x you #miguel o'hara x you

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violet-shadows · 2 years

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Speaking of forgiveness. (Part One)

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Masterlist

Summary: A spike of fear down the mating bond has Azriel racing back to the Night Court, terrified by what he’ll find. Meanwhile, the Inner Circle grapples with the fallout of a severe case of mistaken identity.

Word Count: 2.6k

Pairing: Azriel x Reader (She/Her)

Warnings: canon typical violence, choking/strangulation, blood, mention of pregnancy

A/N: Huge thank you to the anon who requested this. This one got looong, so I’m breaking it up into at least two parts. The next bit is mostly written and just needs editing. Part two is up! As always, feedback, comments, likes, reblogs, and asks are deeply appreciated.

⊱ —————— ❈ —————— ⊰

Rhysand had warned the Cassian that having a pregnant mate drove the protective instincts related to the bond through the roof and he hadn’t been joking. Ever since he first caught Nesta’s changed scent, he was on edge, constantly looking for potential threats or hazards. The hypervigilance didn’t let up when he slept either, causing him to startle awake at the slightest sound. In the early morning hours, before dawn began to break, Nesta moved in her sleep and knocked a pillow off of the bed, the soft thud stirring her mate. Cassian leapt out of bed, heart pounding as he gripped his knife and surveyed the room. When he realized there was no threat to be found, he carefully tucked the pillow back by his mate and slipped out of the room, deciding a sweep of the house was in order to calm his nerves. As he roamed the hallways, he caught sight of Azriel dressed in full fighting leathers, walking towards the balcony with intention. “Informant missed a check-in, I’m going to look into it,” he explained, not stopping for pleasantries. “I should be back by this evening.”

Cassian watched him go, making a mental note of the fact that he and Nesta would have the house to themselves for the day. One of the few pregnancy side effects that neither mate minded was Nesta’s increased appetite for intimacy and there was plenty the pair could get up to with some additional privacy. By the time he returned to bed, Cassian had calmed, consumed with plans for later rather than anxieties. Exhausted after several nights of continuously waking, the General fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

It was morning when he woke again and the silver light of early dawn shone through the bedroom window, casting long shadows throughout the space. At first, Cassian wasn’t sure what had pulled him from sleep, his groggy mind cataloguing the room in search of something amiss. Just as he was about to drift back to sleep, a sound from the hallway caught his attention. Quiet footsteps on stone could be heard several feet from his door, drawing closer as the intruder walked down the hallway. He rose soundlessly, retrieving a short sword from the dressing table as he moved towards the door, careful to preserve the element of surprise. If it were just him, he would allow the intruder to enter the bedroom where he could attack them from behind, but Nesta’s presence complicated things. The thought of his mate in danger filled Cassian with cold rage and he gripped the door handle, readying himself for a fight. The priority would be to get the intruder away from his mate and subdued as quickly as possible, and for that, Cassian would need to get close. He considered waking the sleeping female, but thought better of it, afraid the precious moments it took to rouse Nesta might give their attacker the jump on him.

The footsteps drew closer, and Cassian held his breath, waiting until the assailant was almost to his door. When they were no more than a few paces down the hallway, he sprang into action, throwing the door open with a great roar and barreling towards the source of the footsteps. He brought the intruder down with relative ease, his hand closing tightly around their neck as he slammed them into the cold stone floor. They were smaller than he expected and went down without much of a fight, but Cassian knew better than to dismiss a threat too quickly. His grip on their throat tightened as they struggled beneath him, clawing uselessly at his arm. His other hand had his short sword raised, ready to bring about a quick death to his opponent. In the darkness of the windowless hall, he couldn’t make out the face of the person struggling beneath him, and with the scent of his pregnant mate lingering behind him and his veins still alight with rage, he kept his grip firm.

Several seconds passed before a scream rang out behind him and he was being pulled away. Nesta had thrown the door to their bedroom open, flooding the hallway with light. She was at Cassian’s side in an instant, hauling him back with all of her strength as she screamed his name. As he moved, the light hit the face of the figure on the floor and Cassian’s blood ran cold. The person he had tackled was no intruder at all, but none other than Y/N, Azriel’s mate.

⊱ —————— ❈ —————— ⊰

You had never stayed at the House of Wind without Azriel before. Usually, if he was leaving the city, he would fly you to your apartment to stay until he returned. Once, when he was going to be gone for several weeks, he even asked you to stay in the River House where he knew you’d be safe. The House of Wind, given its location, was just too inconvenient without your winged mate to ferry you back and forth to the city. You did like the place, though, and you enjoyed Cassian and Nesta’s company, so when Azriel had work to do but wanted you around, you tended to stay there with him.

The night of what you all now referred to as “the Incident”, Azriel and you arrived at the House of Wind late, having spent the evening at the River House with Feyre and Rhysand. Nesta and Cassian had retired for the night, so the two of you were undisturbed as you spent the evening in each other’s arms. Several hours after you fell asleep, you were roused by the feeling of large hands running through your hair in long, gentle strokes. This was the way Azriel liked to wake you, sweet and gentle, and there was a smile on your lips before you even opened your eyes.

“Sorry to wake you, sweetheart,” he murmured, his hand still running through your hair. He was seated on the edge of the bed dressed in full leathers, clearly preparing to leave. “I have to check in on an informant. It shouldn’t take more than a day at most. In the morning, Cas will fly you home if you want, though you know you’re welcome to stay here.”

You blinked the sleepiness from your eyes, sitting up to place a gentle kiss on his lips. “Be careful, please.” You said it every time he left, lest he forget his promise to come back to you.

“I will be. I love you, sweetheart. Sorry I have to leave so suddenly.” He leaned forward and placed a kiss on your forehead, pausing for a moment as he did so. “You’ll be okay?”

“I’ll be okay. I love you too, Azriel.”

You fell back asleep quickly, the feeling of Azriel’s lips lingering as you cuddled into his still-warm side of the bed. By early morning, however, his warmth and scent had faded, leaving you unable to resume your slumber once the early morning light woke you for the first time. After dressing, you decided to creep by Nesta and Cassian’s room to see if they were yet awake. While Nesta tended to sleep in late these days, Cassian seemed to wake earlier and earlier.

The House of Wind was quiet at that hour, and it struck you how odd it felt to roam the halls without Azriel nearby. When you turned down the hallway towards Cassian and Nesta’s rooms, you paused for a moment to listen, hoping to avoid interrupting or even overhearing, a private moment between the two. When you were met with silence, you walked further down the hallway, listening closely for voices or footsteps indicating one or both of them were awake. When you reached the door and still heard nothing, you decided to leave, inferring that the two were still asleep. As you began to turn, though, the door to the bedroom bust open before shutting again with a great bang.

In an instant, you were on the floor looking up at a faceless attacker. You flailed weakly, your vision going white for a moment as your head cracked against the stone tiles. You opened your mouth the scream, but before you could make a sound a large hand was clamped tightly around your throat, cutting off your air supply. In the darkness, you could see nothing but the faint outline of your assailant, clearly far bigger and stronger than you were. As your oxygen ran low, you began to thrash, clawing at the arm pinning you in place. Black spots were beginning to dance in your field of vision and panic set in. Your attacker had completely overpowered you and your efforts to dislodge his grip on your neck were feeble. You would die here. You thought of Azriel and wondered whether he would feel the moment you died or if it wouldn’t hit him until he came back and saw your body. You thought of Cassian and Nesta, how they would find your lifeless body just outside their door when they woke. You hoped they wouldn’t blame themselves and that they would take care of Azriel in your absence.

Just as your awareness was about to slip away entirely, a scream rang out behind your attacker and the hand on your neck disappeared. You gasped, coughing as you heaved precious air into your screaming lungs. Your face was wet with tears and your throat burned each breath both ecstasy and agony. After a few seconds, you remembered that your attacker was still present and rolled, trying and failing to push yourself up off the ground. A pair of hands came down on your shoulders, gentle this time, and you reeled, scooting away frantically as you prepared to be attacked again. The second blow never came, though, and in the dim light of the hallway, you realized the person approaching you was Nesta. Behind her was the blurry figure of Cassian. Had they chased off the intruder?

You were dizzy, either from lack of oxygen or the blow to the head, and you settled onto your side as you fought to catch your breath. Nesta approached you again, and this time you let her lift your head, the back stinging as she ran her fingers through your hair. Her hand came away red and she turned to look at Cassian, her eyes wide. “She needs a healer, I think.”

“Y/N,” Cassian choked out, his tone grave. “Y/N. I am so, so sorry. I thought you were an intruder… I had no idea…” Cassian sounded deeply upset and in your muddled state, it took a moment to piece it all together. The large figure, the familiar smell, the roar that you heard just before impact. Your attacker wasn’t an intruder at all, but Cassian himself.

“Cas,” Nesta said softly. “Go get Rhys.”

He hesitated for a moment, and in the pale morning light, you could see his eyes were wet with unshed tears, his face a mask of utter horror. After a pause, he turned, racing down the hallway towards the balcony. Nesta told you to wait, disappearing into her room before coming back with a cloth that stung when she pressed it to the back of your head. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. Cassian’s an idiot, he thought you were someone breaking in. He would have never done that to you on purpose.”

“I figured as much,” you replied, wincing at the sound of your voice. It was hoarse, barely even a whisper, and when you spoke your throat burned. After taking a few moments to catch your breath, Nesta helped you stand, reaching out to steady you as you swayed in place, the earth tilting on its axis at the movement. She guided you to a nearby guestroom, dismissing your concerns about bleeding on the fine bed linens as she all but shoved you into bed. No sooner had you laid back against the headboard than could several sets of rushed footsteps be heard in the corridor. Rhys entered the room first looking unusually disheveled and slightly breathless with another fae hot on his heels. The other male was a healer you recognized from the healing halls, no doubt plucked from there by the High Lord on his way to the House of Wind. Moments later, Cassian appeared as well, his face as ashen as before.

“I’m okay,” you croaked, eager to reassure everyone, especially Cassian, that no permanent damage had been done. Although terrifying, the relief that there was not a would-be assassin lurking in the house and the knowledge that it had all been a misunderstanding calmed you. The healer moved to examine you, cool hands running over your neck and head as he made his assessment. Deciding a few sutures were in order, you bowed your head as he made quick work of the gash on the back. When he was done, he reached into his pocket to retrieve a potion meant to help ease the pain. Rhys, Cassian, and Nesta watched from the corner, exchanging worried glances and hushed words. Once the healer declared that you would heal with time and rest, Cassian stepped forward and took a knee by your bed.

“I didn’t know you were here. I saw Az leave and I thought you were at your house. Y/N, I swear I didn’t mean to hurt you. It was so stupid, but I just reacted and… By the Mother, I’m so sorry.” You had never seen the General look so broken before, his voice tight and rough as he spoke. Behind him, Nesta paced nervously, clearly fighting the urge to reach out and comfort her mate.

“Cas, I know you didn’t mean to. It was just a big misunderstanding.” Your voice broke, the last few words punctuated by a high-pitched squeak. Rhysand moved quickly, handing you a glass of water, and if it hadn’t been for the coughing fit that overwhelmed you the moment you took the first sip, you might have laughed at the absurdity of the High Lord of the Night Court fetching you water. Absorbed in your efforts not to choke, you missed the worried glance shared between the brothers at the sound of your cough. After a moment, you regained your composure. “It’s alright, Cas. Just an accident, that’s all.”

“It’s not alright,” Cas argued, “but thank you for forgiving me. Even though I don’t deserve it.”

“Speaking of forgiveness,” Rhys interjected, “Perhaps we should let Y/N rest while we figure out how to keep Azriel from killing you when he gets back.” He smiled slightly when he said it, but his tone told you he was quite serious. Upon mention of your mate, Cassian blanched.

“Just tell him I said not to,” you instructed, your words raspy and slightly slurred. As the potion began to work, the sharp pain in your neck and head turned into a deep, dull ache and your eyelids began to feel heavy. Closing your eyes, you were blissfully unaware of the turmoil your mate was currently experiencing.

⊱ —————— ❈ —————— ⊰

“He’s going to kill me,” Cassian announced when they reached the living room, his expression grim. Nesta rubbed her stomach, eyebrows drawn together in concern, and watched her mate begin to pace the room, turning to speak to Rhysand. “He should kill me. I would kill me too, if it were Nesta.”

“He’s not going to kill you,” Nesta interjected. “Right, Rhysand?”

“Right,” he agreed, sounding less than confident. “But, to be safe, we should probably have Nesta at the River House when he gets here. And, maybe have Amren on hand. Just in case, of course.”

Cassian ran a hand over his face and nodded, assuming the stony countenance of a male headed into battle. “Right… I’ll take Nesta while you stay here, Rhys.”

“Wait, now?” Nesta asked. “But Azriel won’t be back until this evening at the earliest.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure. Fear like that can travel down the mating bond from miles away. If Azriel felt even a hint of Y/N’s fear, he’s probably already on his way.”

⊱ —————— ❈ —————— ⊰

Likes, reblogs, comments, and feedback are greatly appreciated. Please let me know if you would like to be added to or removed from my tag list for future fics. Click here to check out my other work.

#Azriel x Reader #Azriel x You #Azriel Fanfic #Azriel Fanfiction #Azriel #Azriel Shadowsinger #Azriel Imagine ACOTAR x Reader #ACOTAR x You #ACOTAR Fanfic #ACOTAR Fanfiction #ACOTAR #ACOTAR Imagine #my stuff #ff

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twst-the-night-away · 8 months

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[ TWST FAN EVENT ] Disorder Up!

This event is now CLOSED! Thank you to all the participants!

If you still want to draw your favorite character/OC/Yuusona in a diner-inspired outfit because of this event, feel free! Tag me so I can see it.

Summary | Story: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

Strap on your roller skates, fire up the jukebox, and let’s rock ‘n’ roll! It’s time to make things right at the Old Sage Diner!

Who can participate? Everyone!

Which characters can I use? Yuusonas, NRC OCs, RSA OCs, or canon characters are all welcome!

How can I participate? Write fics or vignettes, draw fanart, create character cards, edit sprites, make playlists, you name it!

What are the content rules? Keep it PG-13, and check out the outfit notes so that your character won’t get the diner shut down by the health department.

How long does this event last? This event runs from August 24 to September 30, 2023.

How should I tag my post? Use the tag #disorder up! and be sure to @ me so I can find it! I’ll reblog all contributions and add them to the masterlist.

Is there a prize? Yep! I will draw a participant's URL at random at the end of the event and edit a TWST sprite in snazzy retro fashion just for them - their choice of character!

Story chapters open in Google Docs

Inspiration for Participants: Check this post out if you’re stuck! There are outfit notes, ideas for jobs, and story prompts to be found here.

Participant Entries

Character Vignettes: (coming soon)

Character Cards:

Ellis (@starry-night-rose)

Kimiko (slumberingprincessblog)

Melanie | Voice Lines (@twsted-princess)

Carol | Eiji (@fumikomiyasaki)

Marcos & Keres (@terrovaniadorm)

Kitsubine (@kitsuminyabu)

Faye (@cutiecrpze)

Ophelia (@abyssthing198)

Araiguma | Parker | Kaleena (@m-twst-ocs)

Minette & Taima (@jasmariswonderland)

Sylvie Rose (@lullamiine)

Themis (@achilleswritesstuff)

Alice (@sinjaangels)

Noko (@nonokoko-draws)

Yume (@comingyourlugubriousness)

Yumemi (@uraalice)

Fanfic:

Morning Shift | Afternoon Shift (@fumikomiyasaki)

Fanart/Canon Character Cards:

Joker & Savvy (@twstinginthewind)

Grim | Yuu, Grim, & Teddy (@yuus-sentient-teddy)

Epel SSR Waiter Wear (@discordychan)

Edits:

Ace | Cater | Sebek | Epel | Grim (@twst-the-night-away)

K (@k-looking-glass-house)

Playlists: (coming soon)

Card Background:

Feel free to use this background for your character cards! Please link back to this post so it can be credited. Thank you!

Image by Dean Moriarty from Pixabay | Vectorized by vectorizer.io | Edited for color & content by @twst-the-night-away

Questions? Feel free to send me an ask!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland fan event #twst fan event #disorder up!#AAAA IT'S HAPPENING YOU GUYS #i hope people are interested in this and want to participate!

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florenceisfalling · 3 months

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to my followers unaware of what the fuck im talking about re: toonimal, txttletale, and tyler

tw for csa and transmisogyny

edit: check comments after reading

toonimal aka ezra orena is a tumblr user who also ran a website for "big three" paraphiles (pedo/necro/zoo), including those who are pro-contact and including minors. this obviously led to a bunch of pedophiles sexually engaging with minors and exchanging abuse material.

ezra was already known for being pro-contact in some spaces and had been called out for it. ezra was thus banned on aethy, which is an 18+ proship website, i assume due to the following rules:

there was mild pushback to the fact that aethy also banned ezra's callout, not just ezra; however, this was due to the fact that spreading a callout about ezra's website would also spread links to a pro-csa space:

despite the aethy ban, ezra wasn't called out in the mainstream (to my knowledge) until more recently, when a super huge google doc rolled in with evidence of the abusive behaviors on his website

also despite this, when this doc dropped, some people targeted and doxxed a completely unrelated moderator of aethy for something they had no involvement in.

the google doc. is bad. i understand the good intentions, but it includes irrelevant fantasy as evidence and, more importantly, does not censor victim names. it also does exactly what aethy mods were seeking to avoid by providing a platform for this site, rather than sending it to the proper authorities and letting it get handled properly. statement from an aethy mod:

however, the doc includes lots of evidence for toonimal and his site's users being abusers. its Bad. really really really bad.

because many people did not know toonimal was advocating for abuse prior to the doc being shared, toonimal had some popular posts on tumblr.

one of these posts is a post about "killing the cop in your head" re: accusing people of being degenerate or dangerous over fetishes and kinks that are taboo. while the post might seem weird with the context that ezra is a pedophile, this post was incredibly popular among people who didn't realize. it was just a solid discourse post at the time:

in fact, i checked, and i reblogged this post back in the summer, before i knew that toonimal was advocating for pedophilic contact. this post was not part of some "niche pedophile community." this post currently has 19,000+ notes. it does not mention contact with children. it mentions kink and shipping. drastically different from the content on ezra's site!

and even if you did elect to check ezra's about page before posting, ezra isn't an "open" pedophile. there's a reason his site was secret.

neither of these things mention paraphilias. you have to click on a separate link in the about page to see the tags/warnings that mention lolicon (which is fiction anyway) or illegal paraphilias. even after clicking on those, ezra still upheld on tumblr at the time that he was anti-contact.

the above screenshot is from 3 months ago. now, ezra posts things in the pro-contact vein, but again: he was denying this three months ago. his post was popular even back six months ago. in fact, ezra denied he was pro-contact a week ago, but when evidence popped up he just resorted to insults.

now that we've established that ezra being a pedo was not common knowledge and his post was literally just a popular kink discourse post...

tumblr user txttletale aka healed, who is a trans woman, reblogged it with the following comment months ago:

and later makes a post expressing her opinion on games like stardew valley having somewhat problematic elements to them. in response...

random tumblr cis gay man gets mad and says that healed aka txttletale "markets incest shipping and loliporn as an inherent part of queer sexuality" because she reblogged the toonimal post with 19k notes MONTHS before ezra was called out

reread the toonimal post. there is no mention of loliporn.

even if there was, thats a drawing. its fiction. just like the farming simulator is fiction. who cares

roadhogsbigbelly then doubles down and says that, well, healed might not have mentioned loli, but ezra would support loli. the problem is, again, ezra was not even entirely open about this. why on earth would healed be endorsing that solely by reblogging ezra's post?

then, people start to accuse healed of being in a secret pedophile community with ezra and other popular trans women on tumblr, like predstrogen and maia crimew

a bunch of them notably being from a group of bloggers who love to harass people over stupid shit, be exclusionists, and make conspiracy theories about "closet pedos" and generally just talk shit about anyone they deem below them - especially tgirl bloggers

most of this harassment operates on the idea that healed was mutuals with ezra or aware of ezra's behavior, meanwhile she reblogged ezra's post 3 reblogs down a chain and literally didn't directly interact with ezra at all. neither of them followed each other

people also brought up healed's past controversies, most of which have been apologized for or were simply not fucking relevant

even if healed did follow ezra, the insistence that loli aka drawings is what is sooo sketchy about ezra rather than the fact that he had a site full of ADULTS INTERACTING SEXUALLY WITH REAL MINORS is absolutely fucking batshit

also healed has posted stuff against loli and proship fic/art before. healed literally doesn't approve of that stuff fucking anyway which is imo hypocritical to the kink thing but still proves the accusations against her are false

roadhog guy continues doubling down on how ageplay/cnc/incest shipping/etc is Bad; yet argues that pup play is fine. he thinks ageplay is pedophilia but zoophilia isnt a problem to this guy i guess

despite the fact that the guy who made the pedo website is a trans dude and the victims in the doc were overwhelmingly transfem, random trans women who had no idea ezra was a creep are becoming the main targets of a ridiculous harassment campaign. its such blatant fucking transmisogyny it makes me want to crack my skull open

the neotrances/tyler friend group continues to be weird about it, including getting furious that healed defended herself from pedophilia allegations rather than vetting literally every blog she interacts with or trying to needlessly battle against adults engaging in consensual kink

i hate all of this. so deeply

ultimately my opinions are

ezra has done so many completely fucking awful things and deserves every inch of the backlash he received. he deserves no support for all of this. avoiding him seems to be the best course of action at the moment. part of that involves letting the legal shit go down rather than trying to out-twitter him and his friends over sex crimes. his site probably already had feds on it tbh.

having paraphilic feelings isnt a crime, but involving real children is. genuinely fuck all of the adults on ezra's site

aethy and its moderators experienced targeted harassment over shit they were uninvolved with. this included doxxing and harassing their families. this is especially cruel since they seem to be one of the few sources of common sense in the situation

the targeting of healed, avery, maia, and others: completely just transmisogyny. this shit is insane and nobody should be held to the batshit standards they were held to. please pay attention to this shit and dont let it happen again. don't let stupid discourse un-person a trans woman for something she literally didn't do.

raging about loli/ageplay/whatever the fuck is completely stupid, especially in this situation. when faced with an actual group of pedophiles who are targeting actual, living and breathing children, why do people scream about the fictional expressions of abuse rather than the real-world examples of it?

again. so much of this is just transmisogyny.

fuck tyler and his little clique . all to hell

the people who spread the doc tended to treat csa as a joke. the doc put victims on blast. the doc mishandled evidence.

apologies for any inaccuracies im somewhat late to the ordeal

#discourse #toonimal situation

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skenpiel · 2 years

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crawling out of the bathtub with my hair wet like the girl in the ring

#edit: hi if youre viewing this through my blogs top post function id like you to know the crux of this post is in reblogs #in this case please check the notes and reblog the version of this post featuring a drawing made by me. thank you

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pakhnokh · 11 months

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House of Gentians Arc 2 || Pages 139-142

FINALLY AFTER 9 LONG MONTH I DRAW HIS FACE UNCOVERED. YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW GOOD IT FEELS IT'S LIKE GETTING MARRIED TO THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE BUT WAITING EONS TILL YOU ARE ALLOWED TO TAKE THEIR VEIL OFF SLDKFSLDKGJ

NEXT PART

PREVIOUS PART

ABOUT+TABLE OF CONTENTS IMPORTANT NOTE: Always be sure to click on my profile and check for updates because if you see a random part reblogged IT MIGHT NOT BE THE EDITED VERSION WITH THE WORKING LINK TO THE NEXT PART

#house of gentians #HoG #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxian #lan wangji #mdzs #wangxian #pakhnokh #grandmaster of demonic cultivation #comic #GoDC #Yiling Laozu #Yiling Patriarch #AU

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sexiestpodcastcharacter · 5 months

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Sexiest Podcast Character — Unscripted Bracket — Finals

Propaganda

Glenn Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

Young hot rocker dilf

Loyal to his dead wife <3

Does in fact smoke weed

BARD!! HES A BARD. HE WAS LEAD GUITAR IN HIS BAND (that he was kicked out of)

His band was a Christmas cover band btw.

Literally the fandom had hot Glenn summer which consisted of drawing him being incredibly hot and sexy

Anti government (ofc)

Kind of cringefail (Disney adult) (was on dilfs of disneyland)

Young and sexy not your style? Then how about HIM AFTER YEARS LOCKED IN A TIME PRISON WITH A DAMN HANNIBAL MASK ??

Lost an eye and wears a fucking eyepatch

One incredibly buff arm

Has a pet rat named after his son <3

Immeasurable amounts of trauma in this man- becomes progressively more unhinged

OH OLD HUMAN BARD ISNT CUTTING IT? FINE

HE BECOMES A FUCKING DEMON

A COOL HOT ONE-EYED DEMON WHO WANTS TO KILL HIS DAD (also sexy)

HE CANONICALLY ENDS CHRISTIAN HELL VIA CHRISTMAS

IS ALSO WAY OVERLEVELED

Becomes a demon hunter for the rest of his existence

Also nonwhite !!! We are done with cringefail whiteboys !!!!!!!!!

I can’t put into words ok just know he is the best plz love him.

Okay but Glenn made a minivan cum by talking to her so

vote Glenn I am asking with the biggest saddest eyes possible 🥺🥺🥺 he is so sexy it's pathetic and also so pathetic it's sexy, no I can not possibly adequately elaborate just trust me

Mod Note 2: This tournament is about fictional podcast characters. Please do not vote for the real actress Glenn Close.

Gable (Campaign: Skyjacks):

7ft tall silver-haired thembo of a fallen angel. was the literal sword of god until they killed him! reasons slightly unclear but probably sure to forbidden queer love! super caring for their friends. has one friend they have known for hundreds of years who they HATE but are bound to by the red string of fate. their sword is a part of them, they can sheathe it into a tattoo. they start out indistinct at the edges but as they have continued on through the campaign they have become more and more distinct. they became a flaming engine of justice to kill their friends shitheaded older brother who was following him. they have learned enough necromancy to allow other fallen angels to die, even though they typically cannot. they fly giant birds in to battle.

7ft tall beefcake wielding a sword as tall as they are. vengeful sweetheart

Imagine now: a fallen angel with beautiful gray hair and very big muscles. Now imagine them with a 9 ft sword. Now imagine them as a helmsperson of a pirate ship in a flowy deep-v pirate shirt. Now imagine they're dumb as a fucking rock. And finally, imagine that they killed god. Here, you have made Gable Skyjacks: sexiest podcast character of all time.

7ft tall nonbinary/genderfluid thembo fallen angel sky pirate who wields a buster sword. silvergrey hair with black/gold streaks as they regain feathers/memories of before their fall. back is covered in tattoos that hide the scars of their shredded off wings. killed God. toxic exes with lucifer. they are the keeper of several giant war birds who occasionally crave human flesh. they enjoy getting rowdy/smoking rope with their boys. they collect rocks that they think are neat. When anyone admits they are attracted to them, Gable trips over their words and absolutely swaglessly ends up sounding stupider and sexier by the end of the conversation; the will they/won't they and teasing they dish out to these (un?)lucky few is palpable. Sometimes the buster sword is on fire. They are immortal, they are cringe, they are trying to atone because they believe they are the reason the world is ruined.

Okay so aside from all of the above (giant with a matching giant flaming sword, killed god, extreme dumbass), here's some more propaganda for Gable the Godkiller.

They've escaped death multiple times with their partner in... crime? Like literally they were about to be executed in the most brutal way possible and just. Escaped and killed all their captors in the snowy wastelands.

They are the helmsperson of the Uhuru and take this job very seriously and definitely haven't left it to Bowser (you know, like from Mario) multiple times. Can steer that flying ship in horrible weather and still make it to port safely.

Healed an entire fucking hospital by cutting their hair for someone they had the hots for who was also in the hospital. Imagine being on that level of myth making in some random port city because of a hair cut.

Giant bird caretaker and also took the giant birds out on their friend's bachelor party (this was like. his Xth polyamorous marriage at this point btw) and had a fucking blast getting high on some rope and fucking around. They've also flown these birds into combat and looked cool as hell doing it (see: killing their friend's shithead of an older brother in a joust).

Had a relationship with Lucifer the Morning Star before they fell as an angel and killed God. Literally the reason the stars fell was their love for each other. The world would not look the same without Gable and they are, at the very least indirectly responsible for the creation of the Church of the Slain God and everything it represents (fantasy Catholicism).

And also yeah they are regularly tripping over themself and saying very silly things. 10/10 character we love Liz Anderson and Gable in this house

I am seeing people say that this Nicky fellow is basically trans! That's very cool! Gable is actually trans. Pronouns they/them/any presentation whatever they feel like.

Gable held a bachelor party for a BFF where the attendees hunted from their sky birds, wore dresses, and still managed to keep their eyeliner on point!

Gable killed God because he wouldn't let them be queer. They should rightfully crush anyone in their path.

We are finally going up against a character I know. I can confidently say all sexy moments with Gable are much sexier than TAZ's largely off-screen romances. Mod Note: This was written during the poll versus Killian Fangbattle.

But seriously. Listen to Gable's most recent introduction. Unparalleled sexy thembo introduction! Context: The Captain's Council is at a magical tattoo/piercing parlor (which has a lengthy form and disclosure process), trying to stay below the radar, and the Captain and Jonnit are pretending to be father/son to keep up the ruse. And to let Jonnit get a tattoo, since he's technically sort of underage. Bonus: Gable's decision at the tattoo/piercing parlor and noping out of Orimar and Jonnit's acting. (You should check out the full episode! Episode 197 starts a new arc and a good point to step into the series!)

Nicky Close (Dungeons & Daddies):

One armed half-demon man with a sword (also a Dedicated, Involved, Loving Father). (Specifically campaign 2, where he is an adult)

Transmasc bisexual (or at least so widely accepted as such it's basically canon) dilf half-demon let's start with the basics

And by half-demon I mean the literal prince of Hell

But also simultaneously is Saint Nicolas get you a man who can do both specifically this man

Missing an arm cause his ex-friends tragically betrayed him and shot it off but he doesn't need two arms to show you a good time wink wink ;)

The betrayal in question forced him to be seperated from his also hot milf voice actress wife and their son which is sad but in like a way that makes him sexier

Uses his one hand to wield a flaming katana that he used to rescue his son from the FBI

Protects his family with his life very literally which is hot as hell

Big himbo energy couldn't come up with a good plan if he used 100% of his brain

When he does fail at things it's pretty cute honestly

Definitely played a variety of musical instruments before the whole arm thing happened! Maybe he still does idk he's a sexy mystery

2 in 1 deal! This man was born from the merging of two timelines! Kinda sick!!! Also two dads = twice the daddy issues

You'd think the whole being forcibly split from his family thing would mean he isn't very close with his son but nope! His son adores him! They get along great!!!

His mom is simultaneously alive and dead

His mom bagged fucking two different dudes (one of whom FOUND HER DEAD in a different timeline, both of which are demons)

HIS MOMS NAME IS MORGAN FREEMAN, HIS DAD’S NAME IS GLENN CLOSE, AND HIS OTHER DAD’S NAME IS JODIE FOSTER, AND HIS GREAT SOMETHING GRANDFATHER’S NAME IS MERYL STREEP

HIS SONS NAME IS TAYLOR SWIFT

Lifelong pot smoker 👍 (plus drug flower user!!)

CANONICALLY BOTH A POLO WEARER (and yes, has all the stereotypes of that attached with it — a nerd, which is hot) AND A LEATHER JACKET WEARER (which also has all the stereotypes attached with it — a rebel dude person, which is also hot) [<- all widely accepted as canon by the fandom even as he’s older]

A part of the SECOND BIGGEST ship of season two, (Nark) despite the two characters only having one-two canon interactions (one of which JUST happened last episode)

Man’s a himbo what’s hotter than that

So many fucking names. You try to tag him in anything and he takes up half the space. That’s probably hot. For someone out there

This was already mentioned but so very very trans. Like. It’s basically canon

Rock and roll(er)

Joined a group of thieves called the watermice when he was like 13

for a few minutes had a guitar called the Battle Axe of Hatred

definitely had an frienimies with benefits relationship with his childhood friend Lark (sorry ppl that don’t ship nark lol) (it’s canon after ep 44 hah)

Nicky also acts like his sons Pokémon! Taylor tells his dad to do things, and Nicky does it without thinking about anything else he could do!

I feel like the audio of the entire Nick-breaking-into-the-FBI scene should be propaganda, but I'm copying select bits from the transcript:

Anthony: Yeah, it kind of echoes up through the vent, like the beginning of Metal Gear Solid. You hear a voice that strikes you as ever so slightly familiar, Taylor. Saying— ??: [a deep voice] [echoing in the vent] Where is he? Anthony: You hear— Will: Uh-oh, he’s hot. Anthony: —a bunch of shouting voices. [giggles] Beth: Uh-oh! Anthony: You hear a bunch of shouting voices and people shouting for him to get down on the ground to turn off his flame. To fucking get his hands behind his back. You hear this rhythmic stepping forward— because his footsteps don't sound like anybody else's because it's almost like… y’know when you toss a little bit of water onto a really hot pan and it just sizzles like that? It's like every footstep he's taking, you can hear that— Freddie: Cool Anthony: — and you can feel some of that heat coming up in this vent, even though you can't see him at this point. And he goes— ??: [echoing] Where. Is. My. Boy? Anthony: You hear the FBI agent—the FBI in quotation marks agent—in the back going like— Agent: [echoing] He's safe for now. If you want to go ahead and make sure that he stays that way, you feel free to go ahead and step inside the suite that we've prepared for you, my boy. Anthony: And you hear the hot guy voice saying— [chuckles] The Hot Guy: [echoing] I don't think that's going to happen.

...

[a powerful rush of air builds] Anthony: You hear— [gunfire, and the air rush culminates in a burst of flame; from underneath the fire, metal music starts playing] Anthony: —plumes of flame exploding. [a person’s pained shout, gunfire and bursts of flame continue] Anthony: You can feel the heat radiating through this metal vent and it's actually beginning to hurt and burn your hands.

...

Anthony: And you hear blood— [sizzling] Anthony: —hitting the fucking ground and you hear sizzling and things boiling and burning. Taylor: That could just be coffee! That could just be coffee. Link, let's go. Anthony: And you are getting closer and closer to the elevator. And you hear that same hot voice say— The Hot Guy: [echoing] Where the hell is Taylor?

Gable and Nicky Together:

We are on a joint ticket now! This is a truly unbeatable combo. Not even god can nerf it because Gable killed him. Vote for us. Nicky Close will watch your stuff and play with your cats while Gable gives you the night of your life.

Gable and Nicky can literally be yuor angle or ur bevil.

Art of Gable and Nicky from @slightlyhopefulromantic.

#Round 6 #Glenn Close #Glenn Close DnDads #Gable #Gable Skyjacks #Nicky Close #Campaign #Campaign Podcast #Campaign: Skyjacks #Skyjacks #Dungeons & Daddies #Dungeons and Daddies

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royallyprincesslilly · 1 year

Text

Title: Thirsty Or Parched {1}**

Title: Thirsty or Parched? {One-Shot/Script} {1}**

Lewis Hamilton x GF Reader

Warning: Crude & Vulgar Language, Comedy, Fun & Games, NSFW toward the end, Flirtatious banter

Words: 4.9k

Summary: You and Lewis have been dating for a long time. What started as the buds of friendship blossomed to love and was now a full-fledged love tree. Both of you have never really hidden your relationship and have been very open with the public with showing how tight the bonds that bound are. This naturally has gotten everyone to love you together. Today someone had the bright idea to get you guys to do Thirsty Tweets. The twist, Lewis reads yours and you read his. What was to be a funny likkle skit, may possibly expose a lot more about your relationship than you’d intended.

Note: I had this idea and though it might not play out the way it did in my head, I decided to just run with it. Hope you guys enjoy this. Also, this is a little different format than usual. It’s in fic format but also written out like a script. Hope it’s not confusing. 😊

Note II: I am also going to be making this a miniseries with each addition being about a different celeb and their reader insert significant other.

Note III: Italicized text should be read like the actions said characters are doing, so like stage actions in a script.

As always, thank you for reading. I appreciate it.

If you enjoyed this, please, LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG!!!

***NOT Edited/Proofread***

~~~~~~~~~~~

Lewis climbed out of the custom black and metallic blended Mercedes-Benz G-Wagon then slipped his sunglasses on as the blinding afternoon sun attacked his retinas. When he turned he found you staring at him with a mischievous smile on your face.

“Why’re you looking at me like that, dove?”

You shrugged innocently then blew an obnoxious bubble with your bright pink gum, “Can’t a girl just admire how fine her man is? Is it a crime?”

He smirked trying to keep himself in check. He loved when you expressed how good you thought he looked and loved when you called him your man even more.

“You can admire all you want,” he began, holding open the sides of his jacket so you could get an even better look. “It’s all yours after all.”

You smiled wider then scooted to the edge of the seat he’d just vacated. Your mini-skirt was already short but now it was hiked up to show the upper part of your tempting inner thigh. Licking his lips slowly, he stepped closer.

“What if looking isn’t enough? What if I wanna--,” you began and out of nowhere he felt your legs wrap around his lower body to lock behind his thighs.

The action sent him flush against you where his once peacefully resting dick now stirred from the brush of contact with the most intimate part of you.

“Touch as well as look?”

The look in your eyes spelled mischief and though he knew it he fell right into your trap. Placing his hands on your biceps, he slid his hands up and over your shoulders until they met at your neck where he clasped. The look on your face went from mischievous to surprise then intense arousal. He watched you sink your teeth into your bottom lip and his dick lurched in his jeans.

“Mmm.”

Without warning he crashed his lips to yours and kissed you, so you knew just what you were in store for when we left this studio. You moaned, wrapped your arms around his neck then sank your nails into the back of his neck. His groan vibrated across your lips, and it was then you wrapped your tongue around his, shooting his arousal up into the upper stratosphere.

When you nibbled his bottom lip hard enough to draw a little bit of blood, he had to pull your seductive succubus ass off of him. He’d meant to move his hands lower to your biceps to pull you off, but he’d jumped the gun and pulled you back with his hands still wrapped around your neck.

“Fuck baby,” you mumbled.

Your pupils were fully blown as your arousal filled you and the hypnotizing look in your beautiful eyes nearly had him sending the order for the guards to guard the car so he could scratch both of your itches. Nearly. He knew that anything under several hours would not be enough for him to fully satiate either of you.

“Fuck baby is right,” he whispered before releasing your neck. “Now I have a situation.”

You glanced down between your bodies then snorted. When he felt your hand rub against him, he groaned.

“And that’s not helping.”

He stepped back breaking the death grip that your thighs had him in. You hooked your heels on the lining of the car keeping your thighs open so he could see just what was waiting for him.

“You are evil.”

You snorted again then blew another bubble. “I would say I’m sorry but I’m not.”

He shook his head, imaging all the ways he’d make you sorry later.

“Uh—Mr. Hamilton?”

You snapped your thighs shut the same time he turned to find a woman with red curly hair standing behind him holding a clipboard and wearing a headset.

“Yes.”

“Hi, I’m Mallory. I’m one of the set handles. Welcome.”

She held out her hand for him to shake.

“Nice to meet you.”

“I’m such a huge fan. Wow,” she breathed out with a wide grin on her face and stars in her eyes.

“Thank you.”

“Uh—is Y/N with you?”

You poked your head out from the side.

“Hi!”

Coming to stand beside him, you blew another bubble and held your hand out to Mallory who eagerly shook your hand with the same stars in her eyes.

“Wow. Oh my god you’re even prettier in person,” she said.

You smiled but used your hand to cover that beautiful smile he loved so much. It was an action you did when you were embarrassed which was whenever someone complimented you.

“You’re too sweet. Thank you.”

“Ehm, wow. You guys are gorgeous together. Anyway, follow me and we’ll go inside and get you set up.”

Mallory began walking ahead, but you turned back to the G-Wagon bent in to retrieve your purse showing him your lace purple Brazilian panty-clad ass. The same lace purple panties you’d teased him with not even an hour ago as you dressed in front of him. The same purple lace panties you’d refused to allow him to touch. For the love of God, his palms itched to touch so he moved closer, and as if you could read his naughty thoughts you spun around with a smirk.

“Ah, ah, ah. No touch.”

“You ever heard the saying don’t taunt a lion?”

You shook your head. “Why not?”

“Because when they pounce, you’re bound to get hurt,” he illuminated.

You smiled innocently then leaned close. “Mmmm, you know I love it when it hurts Papi.”

With a wink you walked around him leaving him standing there struggling to get a grip on his runaway thoughts, desires, and hard dick. You knew you had him locked in and down. It was almost funny. Almost.

Within 15 minutes after you walked inside the studio management explained what would happen, touched up your makeup, and had gotten you both to do a few random shots for the website as well as the thumbnail for the video. Now as you sat behind the white desk beside one another, he’d finally calmed himself and gotten control over his hormones.

It was insane how much he’d turned into a prepubescent boy since meeting you. It was normal for couples to have a honeymoon period where they were blissfully happy and unable to keep their hands off one another. That honeymoon period was around a year, but here the two of you were 7 and ½ months shy of 5 years and this honeymoon period still hadn’t faded. He was as obsessed with you now as he was then.

“All right you guys, ready?”

The voice of the set manager brought him back to realize he’d been staring at you like a creeper. You turned to him and smiled.

“Ready?”

He nodded.

A few of the set handles around squealed then made side comments to each other about how cute it was how he looked at you. Those comments only made you smile wider. Fuck, he thought. He was a goner.

“All right here we go. 4-3-2-1.”

The set manager pointed to signal go.

Lewis: Hello internet and the world. I’m Lewis Hamilton.

Y/N: Ah, hold on. Nope. We intro you right. This is Lewis Hamilton holder of 7 world championships, 103 wins, with 192 podiums, over 7 F1 and driving awards, and one of the most amazing human beings to ever walk this planet and my boo thang!

{He smiled widely while shaking his head at your antics. You’d always been one of his biggest and loudest cheerleaders and today you were proving not a damn thing had changed} {You turned to him smiling}

Y/N: Put some respect on your name babe.

{He nodded then shrugged}

Lewis: Thank you, Dove.

Y/N: And I’m just Y/N.

Lewis: Ha! This is Y/F/N & Y/L/N, ranked one of the top 5 models in the world, the 200 million grossing in one night of her opening debut owner of the lingerie line Insatiable, the designer behind Luxe Bijoux one of the hottest jewelry lines out now, NY Times Best Selling Author, an over 160 million following fashion and beauty guru right on the tube and my beautiful dove and love.

{Your hand was covering your mouth as you tried to hide your zeal and embarrassment. Whenever he gushed like this you always felt like the fairest in the land}

Y/N: Aww, baby. Stahp It!

{The two of you giggled like floors before you rubbed noses together making everyone behind the scenes “aww”}

Y/N: Oh my goodness. Anyway. Thank you. So we’re here to do the famous--.

Lewis: Reading thirsty tweets.

Y/N: Yep. Only with a bit of a twist. I’m going to read Lewis’.

Lewis: And I’m going to read Y/N’s.

{Lewis made a yikes face at the same time you did making everyone behind the scenes crack up}

Y/N: Are you ready babes? Ready for me to read these out loud?

{Chucking} Lewis: I mean, sure. I’m not quite sure about reading yours.

Set Manager: What do you think Y/N?

Y/N: Aww, I’m sure they’re not that bad. Now yours—oh boy! Good God I don’t think I’m going to get off quite so easy, but you know what I get it cause I’m thirsty all day for this man so why not others too.

{He chuckled again because he’d seen a few over the years and had some inkling of an idea of what you were in store for}

Y/N: All right, you wanna go first?

Lewis: Okay.

{He shuffled through the large notecards that were face down on the white table and decided on the third one} {Holding it up he looked at you}

Lewis: Ready?

{You nodded}

Lewis: My, my, my, my god, @Y/F/N-Y/L/N needs to just sit on my face like right now TBH. Right damn now.

{Your eyes bugged, lips pinched, and head turned from him trying to avoid his eyes} {Him on the other hand, he just stared at the camera with an unimpressed look on his face}

Lewis: What was that you said not even a minute ago? Not that bad?

{Shaking his head he shrugged}

Lewis: Okay, @LugoSluzzoUK thanks for that. But no can do she only sits on my face.

{You gasped loudly as your hand swung out to smack his chest}

Y/N: Lewis!

{He laughed, throwing his head back}

Y/N: Wow, not funny.

Set Manager: Woah. Uh—Y/N. You’re up.

{You reached to the bottom of the pile and took a notecard out holding it up like it was the game changer of the poker game}

Y/N: Okay. I would let @lewishamilton break my back like a glow stick until I was like a slinky.

{Your eyes were again wide while Lewis laughed}

Y/N: Oh that’s funny to you.

Lewis: Just picturing it.

Y/N: Right, a glow stick until they’re like a slinky. Woooow. You know what--@ I’m not even gonna put your @ out there, just know I see you and I understand because same! Absolutely the same!

{You raised your hand in the air as if praising the lord and everyone around laughed}

Y/N: These aren’t too bad. Let’s go!

{Lewis pulled another card}

Lewis: I am pretty sure that @Y/F/N-Y/L/N’s photo spread in that Sports Illustrated issue where she was covered in body paint as bathing suits made me a lesbian. Ever since I’ve only dated women while masturbating to her at night.

{You giggled while trying to stop but being completely unable to}

Lewis: @Prettypinkjelly, I get it. I remember that issue and honestly if I were a woman I probably would have been turned too.

{You giggled some more while shaking your head}

Lewis: These are—quite interesting.

Y/N: Not so bad right?

Lewis: So far, although I feel like we’re going to start going down into debauchery soon.

{You both laughed}

Y/N: Okay. This one says. If @lewishamilton had an evil doppelganger I would let the evil doppelganger take me from the mouth while Lewis took me from behind even if they didn’t shower until they made me a double stuffed twinkie with extra filling.

Lewis: Woooooow. That’s a lot to unpack there.

{You laughed uncontrollably}

Y/N: My goodness. You guys sure are creative. Evil doppelganger, double stuffed twinkie with extra filling.

{Your eyes were wide in shock as you stared at the camera}

Lewis: It’s the “even if they didn’t shower” for me.

Set Manager: That’s where you draw the line?

Lewis: It gets very hot in the F1 suit and in the car for hours. Things get quite sweaty.

{You nodded}

Y/N: Yeah but a little sweat won’t hurt nobody.

{You winked at the camera while he pulled another card}

Lewis: Okay. For my birthday this year I have one wish and it’s for @Y/F/N-Y/L/N to come to my apartment and make me a burger, could be frozen I’m not picky, in a pair of red patent leather chaps, the ones with the ass cheeks out. That’s all tooth fairy, easter bunny, Santa, Genie, my fairy godmother, aurora’s three fairy godmothers. Please!

{The silence in the studio stretched until both you and Lewis busted out laughing. For the next minute you laughed so hard you both began crying}

Y/N: Oh my god. Not the leather chaps.

Lewis: Wow. Thank you for the laugh. The ass cheeks out huh.

{He nods his head}

Lewis: @lowkeylokiinya thank you for this because I think this just became our next roleplay night.

Y/N: Lewis!

{You hid your face, but he could see the smirk on your lips}

Y/N: We can cut this out right?

{The studio again fell quiet before he laughed}

Lewis: Your go.

Y/N: My mother always told me that my body is a temple and I agree however I just want @lewishamilton to bust the walls of this temple down!

{Lewis was the first to laugh while your eyes again remained as big as saucers}

Y/N: Wow, wow, wow. Oh wow.

{You look at Lewis who is trying his best to stop laughing but he is miserably failing. The way he is struggling makes you laugh too. After a few moments you both get a grip and sit there in silence for a few seconds}

Y/N & Lewis: Wow.

Y/N: Okay um—I think this is one of my favorites. I applaud you @ you know who you are, still not gonna put you guys on blast.

{Lewis has his next one already in hand}

Lewis: Okay, this one says, I’m not even into feet I find them creepy, but I would suck each and every single one of @Y/F/N-Y/L/N toes and not miss a single crevice. They look like they taste good.

Y/N: Oh my goodness.

{You cover your face with your hands feeling a little embarrassed}

Lewis: I’m going to assume every crevice means in between your toes too. Hmm.

{You and Lewis look at each other speaking nonverbally. He smiles and nods}

Lewis: All right @nuthinbutacomedian thank you for that.

{Lewis’ jaw is clenched, and you notice and go to his ear and in a whisper ask if he’s all right. Lewis brushes it off and assures you that he is good and drives it home with a sweet kiss to your temple which makes those behind the camera and on set “aww” yet again}

Y/N: Anyway, this is says, @LewisHamilton looks like he has a really long dick.

{Your eyes bug and jaw drops while Lewis pinches his lips together while keeping his eyes frontward}

Y/N: Um—uh—well you know something--.

Lewis: Don’t you do it.

Y/N: Looks are not deceiving. We have all seen him in his race suit.

Lewis: Y/N!

{You pinch your lips then zip them while pretending to throw away the key}

Lewis: Christ, you’re going to get me in so much trouble.

{You lift your hands in the air as it to show you mean no harm and that you’re done but he doesn’t look like he believes you. You look to the camera, smile then wink}

Lewis: These are getting quite--explicit.

Set Manager: If you can believe there are much more explicit than this out there.

Y/N: I believe it. Thirst makes the world go round, plus look at this guy.

{You cup his jaw and squish his cheeks making his lips pout}

Y/N: I thirst over him every day.

{Lewis’ smile is small at first but then widens until he is full-on cheesing}

Lewis: Enough. All right, let’s see. @Y/F/N-Y/L/N I just want you to know that if you ever need to fill your prescription for vitamin D I got more than enough D to give.

{Without meaning to you bust out laughing. In a matter of seconds, you’re practically cackling}

Y/N: Oh my god. No way! Yo, that is creative is hell. I have to applaud that one.

{You begin clapping with a look of amazement. Lewis on the other hand does not look amused.}

Y/N: How the hell do you guys come up with these?

Lewis: I kind of want to know too.

Y.N: Right!

Lewis: However @MegsstallionBrotha she’s gonna pass.

Y/N: Am I? Why?

{Lewis looks at you, meeting the playful challenge in your eyes}

Lewis: Why? I think you’re getting all the vitamin D you can handle. No?

Y/N: Am I? I am quite low in the vitamin today thanks to someone.

{Lewis laughs and shakes his head}

Lewis: Oh ho-ho keep talking.

{You giggle as you sift through the remaining note cards searching for your next one to read}

Y/N: @LewisHamilton, if you see this just know I want to use your…cum as a…face mask.

{Your eyes are wide as you blink rapidly for a few moments}

Lewis: Wow.

Y/N: I have to read that again.

{You read it to yourself then bob your head from side to side}

Y/N: I think this could have been worse.

Lewis: Do you?

Y/N: Yes. Think about it. Cu—sperm is pretty much protein, which is similar to the whites of eggs. It’s like making an at-home mask with egg whites which is actually good for the skin and pores, it helps with collagen and firming.

{Everyone is shocked silent staring at you}

Y/N: Just a bit of science there. So if you’re out of egg whites use a little cum, same thing.

{Everyone laughs loudly at that}

Lewis: So you’ve walked around with my sperm on your face?

Y/N: I don’t know about walking, but have I gotten your sperm on my—

{Lewis clamps his hand over your mouth shutting you up}

Lewis: Keep talking. You’re getting so close.

{You laugh but he doesn’t lower his hand until you’ve simmered down}

Y/N: Em, @ person—no judgement.

Lewis: I would let @Y/F/N-Y/L/N dom and peg me if she wanted and say thank you master after she’d ruined all my holes.

{You smile at the camera while managing to not give any other reaction}

Lewis: Woah, that’s a lot of trust there.

Y/N: I think I’d make a wonderful dominatrix. Right? Imagine me all red sexy leather, super high stilettos, fresh pedicure, fishnet stockings, a sexy feather and leather whip, decked out in diamond jewelry and skimpy lingerie.

{Lewis clears his throat loudly and readjusts himself in his seat}

Y/N: You all right?

Lewis: Yep. Let’s move on.

{You smile to yourself knowing what happened, you unintentionally turned him on with the talk of your attire. You know he is more imagining him being the dom and you the sub. The control freak in him would have the hardest time letting you take control.}

Y/N: @ person thank you for this, and again, no judgement. Sounds like fun.

{There is laughter from those around the set}

Y/N: I would let @LewisHamilton rearrange my guts in alphabetical order and then out of alphabetical order any day of the week.

{Lewis snorts and drops his head back as he laughs}

Lewis: Like, what does that even mean?

Y/N: It means any time, any day, any way they’re DTF. You know what @ you, you're a clever soul. Amen!

{You hold your hand high and shake your head fully grasping the sentiment}

Set Manager: Same for you Y/N?

Y/N: Do you have to ask?

{You giggle and that giggle turns to a full-on laugh when you realize Lewis looks very unamused but in his eyes, you see how turned on you have him}

Set Manager: Looks like we’re down to the last one.

Lewis: Yep.

{He waves it in the air}

Lewis: I kind of feel like I need to prep myself. It would be safe to say this might be the thirstiest.

Y/N: I’m sure it can’t be that bad.

{Lewis breathes once more}

Lewis: @Y/F/N-Y/L/N the things I would do to you if I had the chance. Mainly I want to suck your soul from what I know is a gorgeous kat until you squirt all over me to baptize and save me like the Goddess you are.

{Lewis slow sighs out.}

Lewis: There’s a lot going on there. @yourloveisunholy that answers a lot, um—again she’ll pass.

Y/N: Um—I love your name by the way. I appreciate the compliment you are right it is a gorgeous—

Lewis: Keep talking.

{You laugh because at this point you are having the time of your life teasing him}

Lewis: You are so asking for it.

Y/N: He’s right I will have to pass. I need my soul.

Lewis: That’s it?

Y/N: Until the next time @LewisHamilton decides to suck—

{Again Lewis clamps his hand over your mouth making you laugh}

Lewis: Please just read your tweet.

Y/N: @LewisHamilton come and get this face sit zaddy, I know how to ride. Then dick me down so fucking hard that my ancestors get phantom pains. Oh my god!

{You jump to your feet and raise your hands in the air}

Y/N: Winner, Winner! Wow, wow, wow, wow! I am speechless. You know what I am here for this! Period! I feel you on that face sitting part because this man’s face is meant to be sat on.

Lewis: And we’re done here. Thank you Buzzfeed, this has been thirty tweets, couples edition. See ya!

{Your laughter had turned to a cackle at this point. You’d watched him slowly decline in his ability to keep himself restrained. You knew how on edge he was because of the tease in the car, and this was complete comedy for you.}

Everyone behind the scenes clapped then told you guys how great the episode will be online. Lewis was already standing ready to go. It wouldn’t be that easy for him though because everyone seemed to want pictures and an autograph and him being the gracious man he is, he signed an autograph for everyone while letting them get their pictures in.

After about 30 minutes or so, you said your goodbyes after the set manager informed you that the episode was going live in a few hours. You then made your way back to your car. Lewis opened your door then went around to climb in beside you. The whole time he didn’t speak. He didn’t speak when your driver put the car in drive. He didn’t speak the 30-minute drive to lunch. The only way you knew that he wasn’t upset was because you caught him staring at you several times and the way he was staring instantly told you he was far from upset and more on the horny side.

After lunch, you split up to tackle some work errands while making a promise to meet up at home. Lewis kept the kiss quick though you tried to delve your tongue into his mouth. Halfway to your meeting, you texted him.

MSG: You know, most would say you’ve been neglecting me since we left Buzzfeed. They would also say their feelings were hurt.

You expected him to take a while to answer but to your surprise, a response came in after about 2 minutes.

MSGMyHoneyDrop: To that, I would say you’re being dramatic.

MSG: Anyone ever tell you it’s not a good idea to tell a woman she is being dramatic?

MSGMyHoneyDrop: Yes, you. I’m just trying to make it through the day without anyone noticing how hard I am, and without letting blue balls set in.

You shouldn’t have laughed but you did.

MSG: How are you hard? Those tweets do it for you?

MSGMyHoneyDrop: Nope. You do it for me and you know that. Another thing you should know is your ass is mine when I get home. I don’t care what you have to do but you need to find that red leather outfit and you better have it on when I get home.

Excitement filled you quicker than shaken soda spouting through a bottle. You squealed with anticipation.

Much later that night after round 6, you and Lewis lay sweaty, panting, and sex drunk reading through the comments from the Buzzfeed video.

“Someone said I knew Lewis and Y/N were a pair of freaks in the sheets but damn they’re freaks in the streets too.”

You snorted then laughed, handing him a bottle of infused water. While taking a few sips you scrolled through the endless comments. It was clear the video was a hit. In not even 24 hours it had over 13 million views.

“Oh my god. This person said, you can see how much they love each other and how connected they are. #goals. Aww. That’s sweet.”

“Watching Y/N and Lewis read thirsty tweets while they’re being thirsty for one another is a whole mood.”

You rolled on top of him sitting right on top of his still hard member.

“Mmm.”

“Still hard?”

“You only have yourself to blame,” Lewis said trailing his hands along your red fishnet stocking clad thighs.

“You’re the one who wanted me to wear this. I think you did it to yourself.”

Lewis gripped your hips then moved you back just a little before he lifted you just enough so he could slide inside of you.

“Fuck!”

The friction gave way to slight soreness and reminded you that you’d been at this for hours and were already thoroughly fucked.

“Still so tight. I can’t get enough of you, sweetheart.”

The fullness you felt made it impossible to remain still, so you slowly rocked back and forth on him until you were bucking against him riding him just the way he liked. Lewis’ moans turned to grunts and before you knew it he’d flipped you onto your stomach while keeping your ass in the air.

“Such a perfect ass!”

To emphasize, Lewis slapped you across it making you shout into the blankets underneath you. From his strokes, you could tell he was close but from the way he groaned you could also tell he didn’t like the fact that he was losing control this quickly. When he tried to move you to change your position, you refused then took control from him and backed yourself onto him slamming your ass into his pelvis.

“Aah, shit,” Lewis exclaimed.

Peeping over your shoulder you saw your sopping core held his attention while his hands were planted on his head. You began flicking your hips raising your backside up and down giving him a show that you knew would mesmerize him. It didn’t take long for him to grip your hips and plow into you with reckless abandon.

“Do you love me, Y/N?”

“I do.”

“Lemme hear.”

“Ah! Fuck Lewis. I love you!”

You bit the blankets, filling your mouth with the soft fluffy material, and let yourself moan as you wished. Lewis gripped the back of your neck and hoisted you up until your back was pressed to his chest and your moans filled the room.

“Mmm, look at me.”

Locking eyes with him, you tried not to roll them to the back of your head from the deepness of his strokes.

“I fucking love you too!”

Lewis kissed you sloppily then you felt him fill you for the 7th time that night. His arms wrapped around you as your bodies shook together riding your shared orgasm. When he collapsed on top of you he didn’t release you, he kept you cocooned in his arms and his cock nestled inside of you.

“We’re never going to be able to live down that fucking episode.”

You snorted then laughed loudly because he was right. You’d both let it slip to the world how utterly and completely horny and parched you were for each other while giving them a glimpse of just how freaky you might be. There was no way the internet would ever let you forget it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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