#ERE 17 SHE’S LIVING THE DREAM YEAH SHE’S LIVING THE DREAM FROM BACK WHEN WE WERE 17 HOW ON EARTH CAN I BE SAVED WHEN I’M ONE CLICK AWAY FROM

[lovingtheanimal]

ooh watch this

[superhero--imagines]

Part 1 Here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here! / Part 5 Here! / Part 6 Here! / Part 7 Here! / Part 8 Here! / Part 9 Here! / Part 10 Here! / Part 11 Here! / Part 12 Here! / Part 13 Here! / Part 14 Here! / Part 15 Here! / Part 16 Here! / Part 17 Here! / Part 18 Here! < This is Part 19!>

Donate to Move to Higher Ground HERE!

Song Here- (X)

Big thanks to @imdoingathingmom​ and @bbibbisan​ for doing a sensitivity read! 

* This could be worse, you remind yourself as you feed your deer

* Much, much worse

* “How much am I supposed to give them?” The tall, ebony colored man says from beside you, his bright red eyes seem to glow under the pale moonlight

* “Um.. for that one, you can feed it as much kale as you want, but be careful James, he’s kinda insatiable. He’ll eat your clothes if you give him the chance”

* James nods, tearing the kale in careful ribbons.

* He smiles when the deer eats right out of his palm.

* You’re not going to lie, you were 100% surprised when the blond turned out to be Laurent and the black guy was James

* You were even more surprised when he asked if he could help you feed your animals

* You watch him smile as he gives the deer a gentle pat, feeding it more kale

* Yeah, you’re having a hard time believing the teddy bear in front of you is some psychopath tracker

* The story went that while you and Edward were out, the coven decided to play some baseball up in the mountains, and the sound caught their attention as they were passing through

* Apparently this was a fast friends situation, because Carlisle and Laurent have been reminiscing about their geezer pre-colonialism days

* You look to the house, you can see Edward’s inside from the window, his eyes meet yours and he gives you a small smile

* Well that seems hopeful

* “I used to take animals before I turned” James’s deep voice calls you back to the situation at hand

* “Oh were you a farm hand?” You’re peeling an orange, which Henrietta the third is already licking at impatiently

* “Um, not quite, I was a slave”

* You stop peeling the orange

* James tells you his story- he was a third generation slave, fathered from the master, his mother passed away shortly after his birth

* “I was lucky- in a sense, the master -my father- he was a superstitious man, and my mother- she had a reputation”

* His mother was a slave in name only, was what he told you. She was more of a mistress or a concubine.

* “At least that’s what they said, Though I’m not sure how much of that is true, I’m fairly certain she didn’t enjoy being with him. She was just trying to survive”

* His mother had been ostracized, even amongst others like them, but not because of her social position in the household

* “They thought she was a witch,” he admitted. “Bad things happened to people who wronged her, and good things happened to those who helped her”

* That sounds like Alec and Jane

* “When she was on her death bed, she laid a “curse” on the owner of the plantation, that if I wasn’t taken care of she would haunt him and bring misfortune on the entire family for several generations”

* And so, James became the unfavorable third son of the Pickett family.

* “I had many opportunities from her sacrifice, I learned to read and write, but I was more or less shunned from the house- both by my family and by the other slaves”

* It was lonely, almost painful.

* “But there was one thing, a ray of light-“ his eyes flit towards the window, and you follow his gaze to the red haired woman in the green chair

* “Victoria, she was my eldest brothers fiancé”

* The youngest daughter of the wealthiest man in town, from the outside she was a blossoming socialite

* The most beautiful girl in town

* But behind closed doors...

* Victoria was the product of an affair, a mistresses child, reluctantly brought into the household when her mother passed

* “She had big dreams, she loved to read, she yearned to study, to educate herself, to use her mind”

* And so, two lost souls found each other

* “Our family would never have allowed it. So we decided to run away together” he smiles, but it’s bitter.

* They claimed he had abducted her, perhaps to save face, and sent slave catchers to find them.

* “I’m not quite sure what happened-I remember being shot and telling Victoria to go in without me- all I ever wanted was for her to be happy.”

* This is heartbreaking

* “When I woke up, Laurent was there, and my throat burned”

* So Laurent had been with them for all that time, he was their creator

* “Afterwards the three of us worked in ‘the underground railroad’ helping slaves to the north where they could be free”

* “I’m thankful to him, for saving us, we wouldn’t have been able to be in a world where we could be together if it weren’t for him-“

* “But you wonder what the trade off is” you finish and he nods

* No longer human

* Purpose only lasts so long in this life, after all human life only has meaning because you know one day it will end

* “I found a penchant for tracking, it turns out what they said about my mother might have held some truth”

* James calls it “extreme luck”, there’s no other word for his gift.

* If he’s looking for something - or someone- it’ll inevitably find him through pure luck. Like the world bends to his will

* But it only works with finding things

* “These days we work as bounty hunters, and we only feed from people beyond redemption”

* Murder and rapists it sounds like

* “I didn’t know there was another way”

* “That’s understandable, I didn’t know either until I met Carlisle” he looks at you with kind eyes, and so with a deep breath you tell him your story

* About the Volturi, your parents, Alec and Jane-

* “I think you would like them, they’re a little off putting at first, but they warm up pretty fast”

* “Like cats” he says

* “Like cats” you agree

* You tell him about meeting Carlisle, how he saved you,

* how Eleazer gave you a home and a family,

* and about Edward, who gave you a chance to live

* Not just to survive, but to truly live

* “We’re not so different you and I” James says with a smile, and you mirror his expression

* “No we aren’t”

* Though of course you wouldn’t compare the relatively privileged life you had to his

* But the loneliness you both experienced is not all that different

* The tie that binds you all

* And then you do something you’ve never done before

* “You know, I don’t belong to this coven, not really” it’s the first time you’ve admitted it to anyone

* “Oh?”

* “My coven is in Denali, they have a permanent settlement there, and they follow the er... same alternative lifestyle”

* He laughs

* “I’m sure they would love two or three more, we’ve got like thirteen spare rooms in that house”

* You still remember the antiquated scooby Doo mansion-esque hallways filled with armor and swords

* He looks at you for a long time, but it doesn’t make you uncomfortable

* “I won’t follow another leader”

* You nod, that’s understandable.

* Laurent created them, and it seems he’s happy with their current lifestyle, they won’t betray him

* “Not unless it’s you”

* ........

* What?!?!

* “M-me?” You sputter, your orange peel filled hand clutching your chest

* “Why would you want to follow me? I’m only nineteen years old- I don’t even have a high school degree yet!”

* He laughs at your panicked expression

* “You know that doesn’t matter to our kind,” his eyes twinkle as he looks at you.

* “Call it witchcraft if you like, but you’re going to accomplish great things, I can feel it deep in my bones”

* Garrett had said the same thing, but the way James says it-

* You really believe it.

* He doesn’t want anything from you you, not a kiss or a date-

* He just wants to be your friend, to be apart of your vision

* Whatever it may be

* “Here’s my card-“

* He holds out his business card to you, unlike Garett’s it’s a cheap cardboard white with his profession and number on the front

* “If you ever find yourself in need of someone to help with your animals, let me know”

* You nod, taking his card in your hands

* “Um there’s one more thing I could use your help with-“

* He points to the large window, right at Alice

* “I know that girl but she doesn’t seem to know me.”

* “Well how does that work”

* He tells you how many years ago, a woman was looking for her sister.

* “It was a bit of a Cinderella story”

* The woman’s father had remarried quickly after his wife’s death, and the step mother had sent his children away. The younger sibling, his client, was lucky and was sent to a relative.

* But the older, who had suspected something amiss had happened to her mother, was sent to a mental asylum

* “You know me, I find things, it’s my gift.”

* But when he found the girl, she was no longer human. Already turned.

* “I tried to approach her, but she didn’t seem to remember anything”

* “Alice doesn’t have any of her memories from before she turned, she woke up in the woods all alone”

* The only thing guiding her were her visions.

* James nods solemnly

* “Should I...should I tell her?”

* You look to Alice.

* She’s smiling at something Victoria said.

* How many nights has she spent wondering who she really was, feeling so happy she had a family and a partner, but wondering if she left someone behind

* How would she feel when she found out?

* “I think you should tell her.”

* If it was you, even if it hurt, you would want to know

* James nods

* “Okay”

* You walk inside together, and immediately look to Edward

* Your own personal vampire lie detector

* “He did lie about one thing-“ Edward tells you once James pulls Alice aside.

* Was he actually tracking Alice to hunt her?

* Your heart drops at the thought

* “His mother didn’t die from natural causes, she committed suicide because she knew it would secure his future” Edward tells you with a somber expression.

* “He just didn’t want you to feel bad”

* You smile and nod.

* What a strong person, you can’t even imagine

* Edward pulls you into his arms, placing a soft kiss in your hair

* You feel bitter sweet about the whole thing

* Especially as you watch them leave in the morning, right before you’re going to head off to school

* Jasper is holding Alice who seems vulnerable, but relieved

* They’re leaving so soon, you didn’t even get a chance to get to talk to Victoria or Laurent

* You watch James stand next to Victoria, they’re talking to Carlisle.

* They’re not even touching, but you can feel the intimacy radiate off of them

* You wonder if maybe you and Edward might get to be that close one day

* James meets your gaze and smiles

* “I’ll see you around sometime leader!” He calls out, earning confused looks from your coven and his

* You smile back and give him a nod

* You’re still not sure what your future holds

* But you know you wouldn’t have gotten this far if it weren’t for the kindness of others

* You want to make them proud

* And then in a gust of wind, he’s gone

* They all are

* “See, I didn’t commit murder or anything, I told you things were different” Edward says with a teasing smile

* You roll your eyes and lightly shove him while he just laughs

* He’s right though, that was different

* “Enough flirting kids, you’re going to be late for school, and I really don’t want to deal with that dick in the front office acting all high and mighty because they think I can’t control my children” Esme yells

* School?

* Oh sh*t you didn’t do your homework

* “Edward-“

* “I’ll drive and tell you the answers on the way there” he says catching the keys you toss to him

* “It’s the-“

* “The Trig homework, I know. It’s your worst subject”

* Well you do struggle with trig quite a bit

* “Though to be fair you’re pretty terrible at all of them”

* He barks laughing when you shove him before getting into the car through the passenger side

* Carlisle and Esme watch you from the doorstep

* “They’re so good together-“ Esme starts

* “I know, I never thought our Edward would look at anyone like that”

* Carlisle and Esme exchange a look

* Before you came around-

* Well it wasn’t bad, but he certainly didn’t look like that.

* And he never smiled like that either

* Immortality had hardened him, made him into a man

* But with you-

* Well, with you he looks just like a boy

* A boy in love for the first time

* “I wonder what kind of children they might have had” Esme wonders with a small grin

* Him, with his ability to read minds, and you with that positively monstrous power of yours

* Any number of possibilities is possible

* “Best not to think of such things” Carlisle murmurs

* Though you two may be together for eternity, with the endless options, you’ll never have that.

* Esme nods

* “I’m late to get to the hospital, surgery this morning” he mumbles kissing her on the cheek before walking to the car

* She watches him go, his sleek white Volvo disappearing down the road before looking up to the sky

* “What a shame, I would have liked a cute grandchild or two running around” she mumbles to herself before turning to go inside

* “Entertaining always leaves me exhausted, guess I’ll give my employees the day off”

Tags:  @moonlights27​ @thebluetint​ @the100thtwilight​ @awesomebooklover17​ @oneofthepotterheads​ @smileygirl08​ @imdoingathingmom​ @iconicgguk​ @yrawn​ @alyciaswhore​ @little-horror-show​ @wicked-watering-can​ @lazydreamers​ @ xxxmuxxx @ideas-for-you-to-adopt​​​ @poisoinedhope @maryleigh8796​​ @moose-squirrel-asstiel​​ @hotmessgoodness​ @jaimewho​ @corabmarie​ @what-am-i-doing10​ @alluring-venus​ @imdoingathingmom @anotheryooniverse​ @im-tired-not-sleepy​ @emmettcullenisahimbo​ @my-super-musical-life​ @smolvampiregirl​ @it-was-all-a-beautiful-dream​ @mihikaahujaaa @werewolflover3252​ @teenagezombiekryptonite @shynz​ @reclusive-chicken-nugget​ @monkeyluver4546 @wonhomarshmallow​ @bwbatta​

[ffwriterbts]

Lunar- BTS Werewolf AU Part 6

AN: As I’ve said before, if slowburn BTS werewolf AUs that have springlings of angst, smut, and fluff, this is the story for you! Other than that, please leave a like or comment so I know you’re enjoying the story!! The sections should start getting longer as I keep updating :)

Also! Let me know if you want to be on a tag list for this story!

Word Count: 8.1k

Warnings: PARENTAL ABUSE; BEATINGS; mentions of gang activity;  general angst; mental health issues; soulmate themes if you squint: seriously if you aren’t into angst don’t read this bc :)))) it’s angsty 

Posted: 17 Jan 2021

Tag List: @happynightmareprincess

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But as always, things don’t last forever. Good things rarely last for long enough to really savor them, especially around all of them.

It was during one of the lovely movie nights that YN’s phone started ringing. At first, YN tried to ignore it, not wanting to be rude during the movie, but when it just wouldn’t stop ringing, she made way too many embarrassed apologies as she went to the other room to answer it.

“Hello?”

“YN! My darling daughter! I’ve been calling and calling, don’t you ever pick up for your mother anymore?” YN blood ran cold as she heard the voice she hadn’t heard since she had fully moved into her uncles home.

“I- I’ve just been unloading groceries mom, I couldn’t get to the phone.” The lie falls far too easily from her lips, just like so many others had before.

“Well at least you’re eating, dear.” The sickly sweet tone made YN want to puke, even as she listened more to the woman she had the displeasure of calling her mother on the other end of the line.

“You need to come back to the house, your dear great aunt has passed and you need to come for the funeral.”

YN takes a deep breath before she responds, not wanting to sound too eager.

“Oh, Mother! Of course, I’ll come in! I can stay at the hotel do-” YN starts,

“Nonsense! I’ll be damned if my daughter stays outside of the home when she’s in my city! Your father will be absolutely tickled that you’re here again.” YN’s mother spoke with such assuredness that YN almost agreed without a second thought, not wanting to anger the woman.

“Of course Mom, I’ll stay at home.” Her voice is barely above a whisper, all the fight that is normally in her tone gone from it in an instant, even slipping into the same vernacular she had when she was younger.

“There you go dear, isn’t that much nicer? It’ll be a joy to have all you kids under one roof again, even if it is because of something so nasty.” YN could feel a headache coming on as she listened to her mother drone on about what the dress code was, and how she was so heartbroken, and on and on.

“Are you going to be bringing anyone with you? Huh? It’s been such a worry that you’re all alone up in those woods.” YN is snapped back to attention at the words, and she quickly says that yes, she will be bringing someone with her to the funeral.

Secretly, she has no idea if any of the boys will even want to go with her, but the prospect of going back to that house without one of them to protect her made her feel even worse than the clearly fake worry laced in her mother’s voice.

“Wonderful dear, I’ll be sure to make up your room so it’s nice for the two of you. I’m very progressive, you know.” YN can feel the hot tears making tracks on her face even as she says a quick yes to her mother, listening to the woman drone on as she tries to find a way out of talking to her mother for any longer than she has to.

“Listen Mom, I’ve got to get these groceries put away, when should I be at the house?” YN’s voice is shaking, timid. She’s forgotten completely about the boys in the other room, consumed with the fear of what was to come.

“The funeral is on Saturday, so you should come down Thursday afternoon, to make sure you’ve got time to talk to everyone before you head back out to nowhere. I expect you before noon.” YN’s mother hangs up the phone after she speaks, and YN lets the phone clatter to the floor.

YN is quick to follow, her legs giving out from underneath of her. She is expecting the jolt of hitting the floor, but instead is drawn quickly into the arms of one of the boys. She clenches her jaw, feeling like she’s just overreacting. It's not really that bad, right?

“YN, hey, it’s okay.” YN realizes when he speaks that it was Namjoon who had stopped her from falling to the ground. She could feel the words riverbreate in his chest as he told the others to go back into the living room and fully picked her up, taking her into the other room as well.

“We’re here for you YN, it’s okay. You can’t get hurt here, remember?” Jimin is off to one side, rubbing her back as YN curls up on Namjoon’s lap, burying her face in the crook of his neck.

She’s embarrassed. She feels like she’s overreacting, like the memories of what it was like living in that house aren’t really real and she’s just made the whole thing up. YN really wanted to believe the simple lies she told people of what her home life was like, but she couldn’t hide anymore. Not from them.

“I- I’m sorry.” YN’s voice is soft, all of the parts of her personality that made her who she was were completely gone as she balled her hands into fists. Absently, she noted how it hurt when her nails dug into her palms, but she didn’t make any moves to unclench her fists. She needed the jolt of pain just as much as she needed oxygen.

Hoseok ended up on the other side of her, and he moved to grab her hands, putting his fingers between her nails and her palms, making her unclench the firsts.

“You don’t have any reason to be sorry Mini, you can’t control the way you react to things like that.” YN barely registers what Taehyung says, smiling absently at the familiar nickname he had given her.

“Tell us what’s wrong, sweetie, let us help you.” It’s Hoseok who speaks this time, wiggling his fingers in her hands, trying to make her smile at least a little bit.

“Someone died.” YN’s voice is devoid of any sort of emotion now, and the boys share glances out of worry.

“I have to go back to that house. To those people. They hate me, because I’m not really theirs. Can-” YN cuts herself off, tears welling up in her eyes despite the fact her voice had a sort of trained evenness to it.

“Can one of you come with me? I- I told my mother that I’d bring my boyfriend but that isn’t exactly what we are and I can’t make the choice myself and I don’t want to go alone and I- I- I’m just- I just” YN chokes on her words, speaking too fast as fear swells up in her chest again.

She shouldn’t have told her mother someone would come with her, it was stupid of her to assume one of them would be willing to go into that situation. She could handle it by herself, after all. How many years did she deal with everything that came from that house completely on her own?

Without more than a couple seconds to pause, there are seven voices saying “I’ll do it.”

YN can’t help but smile to herself, internally cringing at the fact her mother is going to expect a certain level of intimacy. The thought of making any one of them uncomfortable... YN can't even bear to finish the thought.

“Um be-before you say yes, Mother is going to expect us to be, well, t-touchy. And we’ll have to share a bed and I’m sure she will make us kiss to prove that it isn’t fake and- and-” YN starts speaking too fast again, and the seven men look among each other again.

“I’ll still do it.” Again, all seven of them respond without any hesitation and this time, YN lets out half a giggle. With a few final sniffles, YN moves off of Namjoon’s lap and into one of the big, comfy chairs.

“I can’t take all of you!” YN gives a soft smile that is bordering on sad as she looks between the boys that have stolen every piece of her heart. She really didn’t know what she would ever do without them.

“You know what this calls for, don’t you?” Jin is the one to speak up, looking steadily between the other boys.

“Clearly, we need to compete to see who’s most worthy of being with YN during this time, hm?” Yoongi this time, also eyeing everyone up.

“Oh, you all can withdraw now, I’m sure I’ll win.” Jungkook speaks up, a hint of laughter in his voice.

“Shouldn’t you be the one to withdraw, as the youngest?” Jin is being sassy to the younger boy.

“Why are you so confident, huh? Who says I won’t win?” Jimin speaks up this time, raising an eyebrow.

YN just giggled as she watched them go back and forth, feeling much more at ease, and like the whole thing was just some weird fever dream.

With a sudden shout of “rock, paper, scissors!” from Namjoon, the boys were off, engaging in the battle of the century to see who would accompany YN to the funeral.

After three intense rounds, Jungkook let out a yell, having been deemed the victor. Taehyung pouts, but the game stands, and Jungkook is officially the one that is going with YN.

Once the group calms down and everything settles back into a more normal state, the boys start asking questions.

“Um, YN, I hate to ask things that might be painful, but I thought you were close to your mom?” Namjoon speaks up again, looking at YN with a curious glint in his eye.

“Oh, yeah, well, um, basically, er-” YN is tripping over her words, her ears feeling hot as she tries to figure out how to explain what in the hell her home life was like.

“You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to Mini.” It’s Taehyung again, shooting a look at Namjoon.

“No, no, it’s okay I just- I don’t know how to tell you that it’s, well, weird.” YN turns to look at her hands, playing with the blanket she was wrapped up in. “My parents and I didn’t have a great relationship for most of my life, because I was supposed to be their child when they couldn’t have their own. But then they did. My younger brother and sisters are the light of their lives, and I’m just…” YN trails off, trying to find the words to describe what it was like in that house.

“Well, I was there to make fun of. The bad example. The one to take the anger out on.” YN shrugged in a way that made it seem like the words she was speaking were nonchalant, normal conversation, though they were anything but.

“Dad used to hit me when I didn’t do what he wanted. And then make it up to me by buying me whatever I wanted. Nobody cared about the yelling, the screaming, the beatings. All they could see were the things . And Mother was on board with it all, until Dad started to find his pleasures in other women. Then she was suddenly on my side, picking fights with Dad that I always had to take the brunt of.” YN shivers, eyes wide as she grips the blanket tightly. She wills herself not to cry in the silence of the room.

“Mother tried to make things better between us once my uncle died. At first, I believed it too- I needed to, I think.” YN gives a little frown, licking her lips quickly as she unclenches her hands. The boys share looks with each other, the discomfort palpable.

“I believed that she really cared, you know. That she had really changed and things were different. And then I met all of you. I saw the way you cared for each other, the way you speak to each other. Even when you’re angry or upset or mad, you’re kind to each other. It was strange at first, seeing you all be so nice even when you’re clearly big enough and strong enough and skilled enough to hurt each other, if you really wanted to.”

YN’s words this time are punctuated by soft gasps, though she isn’t sure who exactly was reacting.

“Seeing all of you with each other, seeing how you interact with each other. Then seeing and feeling that you treat me the same way? I realized as soon as we became friends that my mother’s concerns weren’t real. You all have shown me more love and kindness in the past few months that I have ever felt in my whole life, and I couldn’t be more grateful for that.” YN’s voice was soft again, though not because she was feeling anything overly negative. In fact, she was almost overwhelmed by the amount of love that she felt for the boys that had helped her realize how gentle people could be.

After a few solid beats of silence, Jimin goes and walks over and pulls YN out of her chair and into a hug.

“I love you too.” He says as he squeezes her, being careful not to be too rough. Before YN can really process anything, she’s in the middle of a group hug, with confessions of love being thrown her way from all sides.

YN can’t help but laugh and tell them that she loves them just as much as they love her, feeling more happiness in that moment than she thought possible.

~~~~~~

Thursday had come much sooner than YN had wanted it to. Sure, it had only been a couple days, but YN was still nervously twisting her hands in her lap during the entire car ride. She was thankful that Jungkook had offered to drive, seeing as her nerves were a wreck.

“Do you want to talk more about what is and isn’t okay?” Jungkook’s sweet voice brings YN out of her reprieve.

“Yeah, um, what sort of things are you okay with?” YN can feel the heat in her ears as she asks the question, silently hoping he will just tell her so she doesn’t have to think about it.

“I’m okay doing whatever needs to be done to keep you safe.” Jungkook’s voice takes on a bit of an edge as he speaks, and YN swallows hard.

“Um okay, well, you already know we will have to share a bed, which we did yesterday so it wouldn’t be so weird. And, well, um, you’ll have to hold my hand and stuff like that.” YN glanced out of the corner of her eye at Jungkook to see if he was reacting badly, but she found him sitting there with an adorable smile on his face, eyes focused on the traffic around them.  

“And if she thinks we aren’t real and asks us to kiss?” He asks, turning to look both ways before he crosses over a road and seeming not to pay too much attention to YN or her reactions.

“Um well I-” YN starts, pausing to take a deep breath and steady herself. “I’m okay with it if you are.” Her words are shaky, unsure.

“We don’t have to, YN. It’s okay.” Jungkook’s brow furrows slightly as he makes a turn, sensing YN’s discomfort but misreading it as a sign she doesn’t want that kind of intimacy.

“No- I-” YN sighs deeply, twisting the material of the sweater she was wearing between her fingers nervously. Jungkook takes notice of her nervous habit, and he grabs one of her hands in his own as he continues to drive. YN swallows again, feeling her ears burn hotter as she turns to face him a little more. To deny that it was an attractive move would have been akin to some sort of basal, universal mistruth.

“I’m not uncomfortable with it you know, but I don’t want to get used to something that won’t continue.” Her words are soft, the usual bite of her tone is gone, but they are the most sure sounding words he had heard her speak since the whole ordeal had begun.

“YN, baby, if you want physical affection in that way from any of us, all you had to do was let us know.” Jungkook lets out a soft little laugh, giving YN’s hand a small squeeze. Her heart flips at the pet name, so familiar as it falls from his lips.

“But it’s not my place to ask for something I don’t deserve.” The words are out of YN’s mouth before she can tell herself not to say them, that the appropriate response would be to tell the boy that yes, she would love to get more-than-platonic physical affection from them (though it could be easily argued their affection was never platonic in the first place).

“I- I mean that I would absolutely love that sort of affection if you’re willing to give it, um-” YN can feel her face growing hot as she withdraws her hand from Jungkook’s, lacing her fingers together and setting her hands on her lap.

“You deserve everything YN. And you most definitely deserve that kind of affection, we just didn’t want to overstep your boundaries. Any one of us would give you the world if you asked.” Jungkook’s words are simple, and YN can’t help the tears that well up in her eyes. She can feel plainly the love behind his words, and the entire situation is completely overwhelming for her.

She reaches over and grabs his hand again, smiling softly to herself as the car falls into a comfortable silence for the remainder of the ride. YN is grateful, in those moments, that Jungkook isn’t half as loud or crazy as he seems when he’s around Tae or Jimin.

Once they finally pull into the driveway of YN’s family home, YN lets out a shaky breath.

“Promise me you won’t let them hurt me Kookie, please.” It’s a half whisper and it comes out like a whimpering plea. Jungkook can feel the fear that has settled into YN’s bones, and it makes him want to rip the heads off of every single person who’s ever hurt her.

“YN-ah, look at me.” He pauses until she turns to face him, at which point he carefully traces her jawbone. “You’re safe with me. The boys aren’t far away, and nothing will ever hurt you again. You’re ours now, and we don’t let anything happen to our people.”

He looks her dead in the eyes as he speaks, seeming to search for something. YN is looking at him with those big, innocent eyes she always does. Her trust in him, in them, is greater than any fear she had, and he can sense that. And suddenly, their lips connect, soft and sweet. It seems to take all the breath from YN’s lungs and give them more oxygen than ever before all at once, and it’s cut off all too soon for her liking.

Jungkook softly rests his forehead against hers, breathing in sync with her. Absently, he thinks of how both Taehyung and Yoongi will be pouty when they find out he got to be the first one to kiss her, and that just makes him want to do it again and again.

So he does, and YN couldn’t have been happier about it. She wanted to slip into a world where it was just the two of them, nothing else going on, nobody else to worry about.

What she got instead was a very disgruntled looking mother knocking at the window of Jungkook’s car, calling for her to come out. Taking a steadying breath, YN plasters a smile on her face and hops out of the vehicle, to face her mother.

“YN, my dear daughter! It’s so nice to have you back in the home! And who is this handsome devil? Hm? You must really be something special to go for someone like my daughter with your looks.” YN’s mother moves from speaking warmly to YN, to snidely about her to Jungkook.

“I’m Jeon Jungkook, it’s a pleasure to meet you Mrs. YLN.” Jungkook gives a bow, and YN almost scoffs. She doesn’t like the way he’s being so respectful, though she never would have expected anything else. “And I assure you, it’s your daughter who is settling for me.”

YN gives a smirk at her mother’s slight frown at that comment. Of course he would have noticed the crude remark.

They make their way into YN’s family home, taking their bags up to YN’s bedroom before returning to the living area. YN is pleased to find that her brother had also brought someone, and that there were all sorts of family members milling about the house.

Jungkook stuck close to YN for the entire afternoon and evening, rolling up his sleeves to show off his tattoos at every chance he got. He also tended to stand between YN and either of her parents whenever the opportunity was given to him, which YN appreciated more than anything.

Jungkook also found that YN had purposefully let down the last bit of the barrier that was still in her mind so he had complete access to her thoughts and feelings. This meant that, as soon as YN felt threatened or like something wasn’t quite right, he was there to save the day. He had to admit that YN opening herself up to him like that made the Alpha part of him feel absolutely wonderful.

YN, on the other hand, wanted nothing more than to curl up into Jungkook’s arms and have him take her away from there. She was dreading what would happen once everyone else left, seeing as her brother was staying with his girlfriend and neither of her sisters would arrive from college until the next afternoon.

As the people cleared out of the house, YN anxiety levels rose exponentially. The snide remarks were much less hidden as the people left, none of which are missed by either YN or Jungkook. Despite YN trying to field the situation and talk her parents into being a little nicer, they do nothing to mask their ill intent.

YN feels sick to her stomach at the thought of how she once believed that this was the pinnacle of what love felt like, seeking out Jungkook’s soft touches to ease her discomfort. Jungkook, on the other hand, felt more and more like pulverizing both of YN’s parents with each passing second. The anger radiated off of him like heat waves, and honestly, it gave YN more courage to stay calm and not pay attention to what her parents were trying to do. She knew, at the first sight of real danger, she would have Jungkook there in an instant to protect her, and three of the others outside within five minutes.

And so, things went as smoothly as was to be expected the entirety of those first few hours. YN and Jungkook even went up to go to bed without any real issues, which YN was more than grateful for.

The two decompressed in YN’s room for a long while, with Jungkook laying his head on YN’s chest so he could listen to her heartbeat as they both processed the events of the day. YN ran her fingers through Jungkook’s beautiful mane as she tried to figure out what her next moves were. She felt oddly safe, which she completely attributed to Jungkook and the rest of the pack.

It was nearing midnight when YN stirred under Jungkook, carefully moving his half-asleep from to the side so she could sneak downstairs for a glass of water. She hadn’t realized just how thirsty she was until she tried to swallow and her mouth was just completely dry, so down the stairs she went.

Jungkook, being the big baby he is, insisted on her giving him a kiss before she left, asking her if she needed him to come with. She just giggled, telling him not to be silly and to go back to resting.

YN was as quiet as she could be going down the stairs, not wanting to wake anyone up. She had gotten all the way to the kitchen and grabbed a glass for water when the deep voice of her father startled her.

“What in the world are you doing down here?” His voice is gruff and slurred. Turning around to face him, YN can smell the alcohol from across the room.

“Nothing sir, I’m just getting water.” YN’s voice is small and she can’t bear to look at her father as he stalks closer to her.

“I know what you’re doing with that boy upstairs. The only way some thing like you could have landed that boy was by opening your whorish legs for him. Did you even last a whole week before you were on your knees, huh?” His words bring tears to YN’s eyes even as she wills herself not to cry.  

Upstairs, Jungkook’s eyes snap open as he realizes what is going on, feeling the distress coming from YN.

“N-No sir.” YN’s voice is so unsure, she even sounded like she was lying to herself.

“Yeah right” He spits at her feet, grunting as his grimy hand reaches out to grip her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “A bitch like you? If you didn’t open your legs, you must be running drugs for him. Is that it? Uh?”

YN struggles to break away, to deny the claims even as her father’s grip gets tighter on her jawbone. He takes another swig from the bottle he had been drinking, grunting and throwing it across the room when he finds it empty.

Harshly, he tosses her head from his grip, another crude grunt falling from his lips as he watches his daughter fall to the ground.

“I never understood why your uncle liked a worthless bitch like you so much. That house was supposed to go to us, and here you are, living in it like you deserve to live there! Like you took care of them! Like you wanted it!” His words get more and more harsh as his face turns blotchy, anger and disgust lacing his words.

As he raises his hand to strike the girl that is cowering before him, making claims about how this is all she will ever be good for, YN squeezes her eyes shut and prepares for the pain that is to come. She waits for the familiar sting, her heart seeming to beat out of her chest as one beat passes. Then another.

She hears a sickening crunch, but doesn’t feel... anything. Then there comes another, and another, and the various sounds of flesh hitting flesh. YN still doesn’t feel anything, so she slowly cracks open her eyes.

What she finds when she opens them is one seething Jeon Jungkook absolutely destroying the man who had tormented her her entire life. She can both see and hear bones snap under his sharp blows. She can see the blood pour from his split skin. She can hear the too-loud cries of her father as he tries to harm Jungkook in vain.

Despite the carnage in front of her, YN can’t help but let out a happy sort of smile as she rushes forward, not wanting Jungkook to kill the man. There isn't a doubt in her mind that murder is the only thing on Jungkook's mind.

“Kook, Kookie! Stop!” YN yells, dodging his elbows as she tries to get into his line of sight. “Don’t kill him!”

YN finally manages to grab onto one of Jungkook’s arms and tug him backwards slightly. He looks quickly at YN before turning and spitting on her father, growling out a quick “Don’t you dare touch our YN ever again ” before turning fully to YN and drawing her into his arms.

He was covered in blood, but in this moment, YN really couldn’t have cared any less because it all felt like it was over. She pulled away from him slightly, not caring at all that he had gotten blood on her clothes, and tugged him down to her level for a kiss. She could feel his muscles still flexing even as his arms fully wrap around her frame, though she knows she isn't in any sort of danger.

“Thank you” she breathed, tears slipping down her face even as she felt nothing but a wild sort of happiness.

“Come on baby, let’s get our things. The boys will be here soon, we can go home.” Jungkook presses another kiss onto her lips as he brushes the spot on her jaw where her father had gripped it, wanting to wipe away all traces of the disgusting man off of his precious Omega.

YN holds onto his hand tightly as they make their way upstairs, gathering the few things they had gotten out hastily. It dawned on YN that it looked almost as if they never really planned to stay there at all, with how little they had unpacked, and she was perfectly okay with that.

It wasn’t until they stepped outside of YN’s bedroom that they met their next challenger. YN’s mother was absolutely fuming as she ran up the stairs, screeching in that horrible high pitch of hers that they were going to pay for what they did.

“YN! You filthy bitch! You ugly whore! You scheming cunt!” The screeches come as YN’s heart drops into her stomach. She feels the way Jungkook tenses beside her, ready and willing to hurt the woman if she deserves it.

“What the fuck did you do to my husband? What the fuck is wrong with you! We took you in, we cared for you, we loved you! We fed you and clothed you! And this is how you repay us? Huh?” YN’s mother is too close to them now, though a sharp growl from Jungkook sends the furious woman back a couple steps. She may have been completely irrational, but she wasn't actually stupid.

“No I-” YN starts, at least trying to talk some sense into the woman.

“NO! NO!? You ugly little whore! You and that freak need to get out of this house, right now!” YN swears her mother is going to pop a blood vessel, and honestly, she’s not sure she would really care.

“Mom please-” Again, YN is cut off by her mother’s devilish voice.

“No! We never should have taken you into our home! We never should have signed the papers to make you our responsibility! You and that oaf you call a boyfriend are just a pair of worthless bastards!” At this point, even Jungkook’s warning growls and glares do nothing to make the woman back away, but it isn’t until she reaches out her hand to push YN that he really steps in. He captures the woman’s wrist in his hand with a practiced sort of ease, stepping between YN and her mother before he speaks to the enraged woman.

“Listen here you worthless hag, you are going to step aside and let our darling girl pass. You are going to attend to your dipshit husband before he bleeds to death, and you are never going to speak to YN again. Do you understand me?” Jungkook’s voice holds an edge that YN had never heard before. She can almost hear the way her mother’s wrist muscles strain, threatening to tear as Jungkook’s unrelenting grip tightens.

“I said, do you understand?” His voice drops into a lower register as he motions for YN to grab the bags and move past him. As much as he is sure she wouldn’t mind her mother getting hurt, he doesn’t want to do anything more in front of his sweet girl.

YN brushes past him with the bags, oddly calm for everything she had witnessed. She is sure that her lovely Kookie will take care of everything, and that there will be three other boys waiting for her outside, ready to whisk her away.  

When she opens the door, she is immediately swept up by someone, the bags dropping to the ground as she is spun around. It had only been a few hours, but the events of the day had left the entire pack on edge.

“Thank the heavens you’re okay.” It isn’t until he speaks that YN realizes that it’s Yoongi who has hold of her. YN doesn’t say anything, instead clinging onto the boy like he was her world. Yoongi carries her to the car, going to put her in one of the seats until she looks at him with those beautiful eyes of hers and asks him not to go, and suddenly she is lovingly curled up in his lap.

Meanwhile, Jungkook is only just coming out of the house as YN is settled into the car. He spots Hoseok and Jin putting the bags in the back of one of the cars. The two rush up to him and ask if anything else needs done, to which Jungkook shakes his head. He silently hands his keys to Hoseok as he heads over to the passengers side of his own vehicle.

“I had to break the woman’s wrist. I don’t know if the man will live or not. We should leave.” Jungkook hops into the vehicle, collapsing down into the seat in exhaustion.

Hoseok and Jin share a sideways glance before they quickly switch keys. Out of the two people that had been in that house, Jungkook was the more likely to need medical attention, so Jin would drive him back to the mansion. Hobi would follow in the other vehicle, keeping an extra eye on YN and making sure Jin got updates as needed.

They all knew that there would be plenty of questions to be asked and answered in the morning, but for the time being, they were focused on getting YN and Jungkook home and rested up.

~~~~~~

Once they pull into their driveway, Jungkook and Jin go straight into the house, knowing that it would be their job to brief the others about what had happened. Yoongi refuses to let YN down, carrying her into the house as Hoseok opens the doors for the two of them.

“I’ll keep her in my room tonight, to make sure she’s okay. You go make sure Kookie's alright.” Yoongi speaks softly to Hobi when they reach the living room, giving the man a soft smile.

“You know what to do if you need anything.”  Hoseok says simply, returning Yoongi’s soft smile as he gently rubs YN’s back. She hadn’t put the remaining barriers back up in her mind, so both boys knew that YN was absolutely exhausted and just trying to figure out what in the world the jumble of her thoughts were.

Honestly, her brain was a mess but it was clear that YN really didn’t want to be alone right now, which the boys respected.

Yoongi didn’t set YN down until he very carefully placed her on his bed, looking at her in the light properly for the first time. She had a very visible bruise on her jaw from where her father had gripped it and blood all over her clothes from Jungkook.

“Go take a shower princess, I’ll get you something to sleep in.” Yoongi’s voice is soft as he gently moves her head to get a better look at the bruise. He couldn’t deny that it made him angry that someone had marked his Omega. “It’ll make you feel better, I promise.”

YN just looks at him with those big eyes of hers, sadness in her gaze even as she felt comfort in his gentleness. With a little more gentle prodding, she makes her way into the bathroom, Yoongi getting her a fresh towel for when she finishes.

She spends quite a while in the shower, the warm water relaxing her as she tries her best to scrub every trace of her family from her skin. It took YN a lot of thinking to decide whether the entire ordeal had been worth it or not, but in the end she decided that it had been. If they wouldn’t have gone, YN didn’t know if she ever would have gotten the guts to admit that she wanted more intimate affection from the boys she loved so much.

As she stepped out of the shower and wrapped up in the towel, YN secretly hoped that Yoongi would kiss her too. She would be lying to herself if she said that she wasn’t incredibly attracted to everything about the man, but she couldn’t see herself taking that step on her own.

Securing the towel around her, YN stepped out of the ensuite and into Yoongi’s room. She found a pile of clothes on the end of the bed and Yoongi scrolling through his phone.

“I got you one of my hoodies to sleep in, baby. I know how much you like them.” Yoongi speaks without looking up from his phone, smiling to himself as YN grabs the clothes he had left for her. She changes quickly, a smile breaking onto her face when she realizes that Yoongi had gotten her her favorite pair of sleep shorts.

When she came back out of the bathroom, Yoongi had put his phone up on the nightstand and turned out the overhead light. He had the light on the nightstand on it’s lowest setting, which made her feel oddly safe in the already dark-themed room.

“I got your bunny, so you can stay here. I don’t want you out of my sight just yet.” Yoongi’s voice is deeper than usual as he stands and heads over to where YN had stopped. He could tell that she was unsure of what to do, and he was perfectly alright taking the lead.

Yoongi hands the small girl her stuffed animal, a smile gracing his face as she squeezes the thing to her chest. They had all noticed right away that she really liked to cuddle a stuffed animal when she slept, which they found to be completely adorable. Secretly, they had each made sure they had a small stuffed animal of some sort in their room for her, just in case.

“Thank you Yoongs. I-” She paused as she looked up at him with those same wide, innocent eyes. Damn, was he a sucker for those eyes of hers. “I really don’t want to sleep alone tonight.” Her voice is only just above a whisper, love and trust filling her eyes as she looks up at Yoongi.

“Kook is right, you know.” Yoongi says the words absently as he draws her into his embrace. “We would give you anything you ever wanted. You’re our darling girl, our princess, our baby, our Omega. You should have let us know you wanted more intimate affection.” He planted a soft kiss on the top of her head.

YN pulled back slightly, brow furrowed slightly in confusion as she looked up at Yoongi’s face.

“Why?” Her voice was still ever so soft, ever so innocent.

“Oh darling, you know exactly what I mean.” Yoongi moves one of his hands up to trace her jaw, ever so careful of the bruise that had formed. “I’ve wanted to kiss you since that first day when you found me in the woods.”

YN can feel her ears heat up as her lips part slightly at Yoongi’s confession, wanting nothing more than to close the distance between the two of them but being far too chicken to actually do it.

Luckily, Yoongi really could read her mind, and he took it upon himself to bring their lips together. YN felt the world around her spin and fade away as the breath was stolen from her lungs. The only thing she could think about, the only thing she could feel , was the soft pressure of Yoongi’s lips against her own.

It seems like hours before they disconnect, drawing a soft gasp from YN as Yoongi lovingly strokes the side of her face with his thumb, watching her as those eyes he loves so much flutter open. In that moment, it feels like it’s just the two of them, suspended in time and space. Yoongi feels complete as he smiles down at the girl, the love and trust so clear in her eyes it’s almost painful for him to look at.

And just like that, the silent moment is gone as YN lets out an adorable little yawn, rubbing at one of her eyes absently.

“Come on princess, let’s get you to bed. Things have been rough for you today, hm?” Yoongi moves to the side and gets into his bed, frowning when YN doesn’t really move. With a quick assessment of her thoughts, he realizes that she’s unsure because she doesn’t want to assume anything or overstep her boundaries or- well, she’s completely overthinking the entire situation.

“YN, come ‘ere. I’m not going to make you sleep alone tonight.” Yoongi makes a motion with one hand as he draws the covers back for her with the other, a soft smile gracing his face. YN runs a hand through her hair, taking short, quick steps to get to where Yoongi was.

If she was really being honest with herself, she craved nothing more than the complete, devout protection that the pack gave to her. That Yoongi gave to her. It made her feel like she was really worth something, like she was cared for in the exact same way she cared for them.

Absently, as she curled up next to Yoongi and laid her head on his chest, she thought of how most other people would have thought what Jungkook did was too much, too violent. YN couldn’t have explained to anyone why she felt the way she did, but she honestly trusted him, trusted them , more now.

They had all told her many times that they would protect her, that they would keep her safe, that nothing would ever hurt her again, but she didn’t really believe them. How could she? Sure, she knew that they had done some unsavory things in the past, but that didn’t mean that they would actually do anything for her. Why would they? She was riddled with self doubt, even if she did her best to hide it away.

As YN lay on Yoongi’s chest, listening to the slow beating of his heart in time with his deep breaths and thinking about how she felt about everything that had happened, she slipped closer and closer to sleep. By the second, her eyes were more and more heavy, the calming scent of Yoongi enveloping her completely and calming her to the point it was practically impossible for others to tell if she was asleep or awake.

Yoongi is wide awake, on the other hand, breathing softly and mulling over the day as he plays with YN’s hair. For whatever reason, it calmed him greatly to have the girl there, on his chest. He felt like he was doing what he was meant to by having the Omega so close to him. He sighed to himself, wholly unable to tell if his intense liking for the girl was due to his Alpha nature or if it was because of who she was. He wanted it to be because of her, because of who she was instead of just because of their natures, but he couldn’t be sure . After all, he had felt very similarly when Jimin and Taehyung had first come into the pack, and while he loved them both dearly, part of that affection was because they were younger Betas and he felt he needed to protect them.

Later, Yoongi would blame his thinking of the two boys on them showing up in the room, but honestly, he wasn’t mad about it. Taehyung and Jimin burst into the room like a pack of wild animals, both of them wanting to see YN for themselves.

“Yah! No! Calm down!” Yoongi hissed out as soon as he realized what was going on, anger lacing his words as he accosted the younger men “YN is resting, can’t you see that?”

The two boys stop in their tracks and sheepishly actually look at the scene before them, both of them finding the way that YN had curled up to be adorable. Jimin was the first to apologize, rocking back and forth on his feet as he put his hands behind his back, blush tinting his cheeks. Taehyung sighed as he repeated Jimin’s apology, pouting as he looked at the scene before him.

YN had one hand curled up, gripping onto Yoongi’s shirt right next to her face, the other clutched her stuffed bunny to her side. Her lips were slightly parted and her eyes were softly fluttering open. They didn’t even have to read each other’s minds to know that it was difficult for all of them not to coo at the adorable girl.

“It’s okay YN, you can sleep. It’s okay.” Yoongi ran his fingers through her hair as he spoke softly, wanting to calm her.

“Taehunie? Minie?” Her voice was laced with sleep as she mumbled out the words, barely lifting her head even as she turned it to the door. Her eyes were glassy as she looked towards where the two other boys stood.

They were in sync with each other as they both moved towards the bed, kneeling down to look YN in the face once they were to the side of the bed.

“YN-ah, baby, are you okay?” Taehyung is the one to speak first this time, one hand reaching out to touch the side of her face softly. “We wanted to see you.”

YN looks at Taehyung with those same beautifully innocent eyes, a smile creeping onto her face at his words. “I’m okay Tae. Safe.” Her words were much more clear, though she didn’t speak in a full sentence. It took them looking into her mind to realize that she meant that she felt safe with them, not some other random thing.

“It’s good you feel safe! We love you, we always want you to feel safe with us.” It’s Jimin who speaks this time, reaching a hand out and laying it on her arm as he spoke.

“Safe. Mine.” Her words are back to being half mumbles as she snuggles back into Yoongi’s chest, feeling safe. Because of their mind link, they understood that she meant that she felt safe with them and that she was glad she was with them.

The two boys at the side of the bed shift their focus to Yoongi at the same time, matching pouts on their faces.

“Hyung, can we stay?”

“Please?”

“I don’t wanna leave her.”

“Yeah Hyung, me neither.”

Yoongi puts up one of his hands to silence them, sighing deeply. He knows he’s gonna regret it, but he looks down at YN and tells them that it’s her decision if she wants them to stay or not.

“YN~” They whine at the same time, doing their best to give her perfect puppy dog eyes. “Can we stay with you, please?” YN giggles at their antics, and nods into Yoongi’s chest.

“Yeah, you can stay.” Her words were muffled because of the position of her head, but the two boys had no problems hearing her.

Jimin is the first one to climb back into the bed, quickly shimmying under the covers and wrapping his arms around YN. Taehyung climbs in directly after him, doing the same thing to Jimin that he had done to YN.

Yoongi just sighs as he looks at the three other people that had gotten into his bed, a smile on his face despite his outward annoyance. He really did love them, and if he was being completely honest with himself, having the three seek him out for comfort made his Alpha feel absolutely wonderful .

YN felt incredibly safe and happy like that, wrapped up between the three. She felt loved, cared for, wanted. Within a minute of the two boys clambering into the bed, she was completely out, sleeping peacefully.

[juriyuna]

Livia’s wish: Theory/speculation

Now that Livia’s MSS and quotes are translated, I figured it’s a good time to post this! Between her doppel and her personal memoria, there’s a lot of speculation as to what her wish was- usually something to do with a possible marriage of her own. However, her MSS heavily implies that it had to do with someone else’s marriage.

Analysis/theory/rambling under the cut, since it’s pretty long:

Implications that her wish was directed at someone else:

“I get the feelin' that I should tell you this, if nothin' else... No matter how awful of a life you've had, no matter how much of a grudge someone might inspire in you, no matter how hard it may be t' find light in the crevice you're in, don't let yourself drift in a bad direction...

Don't go stampin' yourself down so that you can overcome hardship. Even if you're feelin' so much resentment that it's hard to bear, don't go relievin' it with a curse.”

Livia is speaking from experience when she says this. It sounds as though she heavily resented someone for having a better life than her. Perhaps someone she loved, like a dear friend or someone who took care of her when she was younger? And instead of keeping her chin up and pushing through it, she turned to Kyubey for a curse out of anger.

This is reinforced by her next few lines:

“Everyone unconsciously knows how easy it is to sully somethin' that's clean and pure. They know how easily they can be sullied, too. That's why folks can get jealous when they see somethin' pure. Sometimes, they might even start hatin' that thing. But that doesn't mean you can go an' corrupt it yourself. If you see someone with a pure heart, someone who's holdin' on to hope... Give 'er a shoulder to lean on, okay?”

She all but outright states that she was so jealous of someone else’s purity, their happiness, their bright future, that she sought to tear it apart herself. She knew how easy it would be to bring their hope down around them, and let her envy turn into a grudge.

The description of her personal memoria, “May You Be Blessed”:

"A chapel wrapped in voices of blessing. Lift up the veil, swear a vow with those lips, toss out a cheer with the bouquet. I thought I'd just feign ignorance, brush it off with a cold gaze, but because I'd held such dear feelings, that love became warped." 

So while this is expressly about a wedding, I’m like 99% sure it’s about someone else’s wedding, not her own. To me, this says that she held such resentment towards someone that she used her wish to destroy the bright future they were heading towards with their marriage.

Whoever she cursed, she obviously used to cherish. Maybe someone she was in love with was marrying someone else? Maybe someone she admired so much was going to get married and leave her behind, and she made her wish in a twisted attempt to keep them by her side.

Livia had planned on pretending to be innocent-- of course the horrible event that was about to befall the target of her wish was her fault, but she was going to act like she had nothing to do with it. Probably cry some sympathy tears with them as if this was all an awful surprise.

But... she ended up feeling terrible for what she’d done. One of her tap quotes is “I made my wish, regretted it... and somehow came to a stop right at the edge of despair.” Her quest select quote for her third episode is even “I'm sorry, I really am... It's all my fault...”, further implying that she crushed someone else’s hope and feels immensely guilty for it.

“Guess you'd call it a treasure of mine... or maybe a way of reprimandin' myself. It's the thing that decided the way I oughta act in this world...” [...] “This ring's the reason I live for Mister Sun, after all.“

The ring is a memento she carries to remind her of her wish. Maybe the person she cursed is gone now (or at least divorced and/or in a much worse place than they were), and this bent-up, discarded wedding band is all she has left of her relationship with them.

The description of “In Dreams, Sorrow Can Be Forgiven”:

"Softly dozing at the sound of adult voices that had once been so kind. The innocent singing that remains makes the scene, and scent, feel that much more fresh. If only it could've continued for 10 years, 20 years. Once it crashed down, the foul-smelling time spent dragging it behind me seeped into the depths of my soul."

It’s about a fond memory-- a point in time she wishes she hadn’t lost. It seems as though she may have been younger when she made her wish (probably 13-17; not yet an adult, and within Kyubey’s prime target years), and that the person she cursed was an adult who used to be nice to her. An older friend, or possibly even a caretaker? (One of her tap quotes says that her parents got sent back to their home country, so there’s a chance she was raised in Japan by someone else.)

So what was her wish?

To me, at least, it was definitely something to tear apart someone’s happily married life and future. Wishing for a marriage to fall apart would be a curse itself, but my personal theory is:

Livia wished a miscarriage/infertility on someone who was getting married and planned to start a family of their own.

The reason I lean towards something like that as opposed to just “I want their marriage to fall to pieces” is partly because miscarriage/infertility is something that causes the person involved a lot of grief. It’s the kind of wish you’d make if you really, really hated someone and wanted them to feel despair. Livia says herself that her wish was unspeakably cruel, and refuses to tell anyone about it. Something like “Make it so that ____ will never be able to have children” would definitely be the kind of thing you wouldn’t want to share with anybody, like... that’s a very personal kind of cruelty.

The other part of the reason is her doppel, Luca:

It’s shaped like a uterus without fallopian tubes or ovaries (infertile), is full of fetuses, and drips viscous black fluid that resembles blood-- not unlike the bleeding from a miscarriage. The description also says it’s “wrapped in swaddling cloth”, just like a newborn baby would be.

Of course, her doppel being the way it is is probably also for the implication of Livia being The Mother Of All Curses thanks to all of the impurities she’s gathered in however long she’s been alive (she’s an adult, which is rare for magical girls), but the form that witches/doppels take often relates to what the magical girl’s wish was. And for her doppel to be a bleeding, infertile womb made of the cloth one would swaddle an infant with, well... hm.

This next bit is “take it or leave it”, but it’s been rattling (haha) around in my head for months, so I’ll toss it out here anyway:

Bonus Theory: A hint at the story behind the Babysitter Witch?

You remember Shin? The witch whose barrier echoes with the unsettling sound of a crying baby?

The witch of babysitting. Her nature is poverty. This Witch is ever in search of the baby it lost. When it finds a human, it straps them firmly to its back regardless of their age. But because it fears to lose "the baby" again, it will tie the human so tightly that whoever is captured is able to breathe.

And Shin’s familiars, Kotori:

Minions of the babysitter witch. Their role is hopscotch. When these minions send a rock flying, their Witch chases after it thinking it's a baby. Cruel creatures, they simply watch and laugh.

So we have a magical girl whose wish and doppel are implied to relate to miscarriage, and a witch who is desperately searching for her lost/dead baby.

What if... the person who Livia cursed was the girl who became the Babysitter Witch?

It’s been confirmed that magical girls can have children (Cleopatra in the main series, Isabeau in Tart Magica), and it sounds like Shin was either a mother or had been pregnant at some point.

Cursing someone with a miscarriage/infertility (or even cursing them with "unable to have children” while they’re pregnant, which would cause a miscarriage as a byproduct) would be devastating to a human, but to a magical girl who managed to live long enough to marry and have a chance at motherhood? A young woman who was holding onto her bright, hopeful future, despite the hardships she had to work through?

That would feel even worse. Losing her unborn baby and never being able to carry a child again could have been what pushed Shin into becoming a witch.

... Upon which Livia probably had to kill Shin herself.

Maybe the ring Livia carries was Shin’s wedding band when she was alive, and now it’s all that’s left of her. That would make sense-- Livia keeps the ring with her as a memento of her past, and her episode 3 quest select quote is her apologizing repeatedly to someone.

She works as a Coordinator to make up for the sins of her past, and “I killed my best friend’s baby, ruined her happiness, and then she turned into a witch and I had to kill her too” would be... Yeah, I’d want to do something to make up for that, too. And if Shin used to be a bright person, someone pure of heart who didn’t let her struggles get her down, Livia could be doing work as a Coordinator in her honour, helping other magical girls hold on to hope.

(This is just a tiny thing and may be completely insignificant, but as Shin’s nature is poverty: If this theory holds water, she and Livia might’ve come from a similar tough background. But Shin soldiered through it with her head held high-- something Livia was unable to do, which sowed the seeds of jealousy warping her love into hatred.)

So, that’s about it! Livia is a very interesting character, and the vagueness of her wish leaves it fairly open to interpretation. Hopefully this makes sense and doesn’t have too many typos; it’s 2am here, haha. Thank you for reading!

[whenihaveyouromione]

When I Have You - Chapter 17

Read on Fanfiction.net or ao3 if you’d prefer!

Follow this story’s Instagram account at whenihaveyou.romione if you’re interested!

------------------------------

Chapter 17

“No! Hermione!”

Ron woke with a start. It was still pitch black in his room, which told him it was only a little after midnight on Christmas morning. Despite the coolness of his room, he was covered in sweat, the blankets kicked off him and his breathing heavy. 

He reached for his wand on the table beside him and lit it. Hermione was staring at him, concern etched on her face. 

“Are you alright?” she murmured. 

Ron’s heart slowed at the sight of her. It had just been a dream. She was alright; he was alright. They were both safely in bed. 

“Y-yeah,” he said, just as quiet. “Yeah. Just…”

“A nightmare?” Hermione guessed. 

Ron nodded. 

“The same ones as me?”

He nodded again, swallowing hard. He had been at Malfoy Manor again, screaming for Hermione, but this time… this time Bellatrix had managed to kill her. He’d woken just as the green light filled his vision and the cackling of Bellatrix Lestrange filled his ears. 

“It’s horrible, isn’t it?” Hermione shuffled over in the bed, laying her head against his chest. Ron set down his wand, coating them in darkness once more. His chest heaved up and down, gradually slowing as he ran his fingers through her tangled hair.

“Yeah,” he said again. “I don’t know why I dreamt it, though. I haven’t… not like that before.” He debated whether to tell her how it had ended, but decided against it. What was the point? It was the beginning of their first Christmas together as a couple, and it wasn’t like the dream would ever be true. 

Though, as Hermione fell back into a deep sleep — nightmare free for her tonight — Ron found himself staring up at the blank ceiling, replaying the moment over and over in his mind.

Why had he dreamed about that? After so many months and not a single nightmare, why now? What had triggered it? Nothing had happened the night before that he thought might have brought it on. In fact, he had been blissfully happy to fall asleep with Hermione beside him for the first time in months. 

He’d been so happy, filled with joy and wondering if she’d like the present he got her for Christmas. His last thought that night before drifting off had been of just how much he couldn’t imagine his life without her anymore, that the idea of losing her would be —

Ah! That could have been the reason. 

He finally managed to fall asleep as the early hours of the morning began to peek in through his window, and it felt like only moments before he was being woken by Hermione prodding him in the chest. 

He blinked. It was a bright, yet overcast, day outside.

“Merry Christmas!” Hermione said cheerfully, and when he turned to look at her, she was smiling. 

“M-merry Chr-christmas.” Ron yawned, then rolled onto his side and returned her smile. “What’s the time?”

“Eight,” Hermione said. “A little after. I would have let you sleep longer, but Ginny kept bugging me to wake you up.”

It was then that Ron realised Hermione was fully dressed for the day. He slammed his head back onto the pillow. 

“Did you not sleep well after… after the nightmare?” Hermione asked, now watching him with concern. 

“I couldn’t get to sleep for hours,” Ron told her. “But I think I dreamt it because last night, I fell asleep thinking about how I couldn’t imagine life without you anymore, and that moment was the closest I’d ever come to… to it. I don’t think it’ll happen again.” He reached forward and gripped her hand tightly. “You’re here now.”

It appeared that Hermione didn’t know whether to feel sad or happy about what he’d said, which resulted in her giving a rather awkward smile and saying, “Come on! Get dressed and then we can all head over to the Burrow.”

Ron allowed her to drag him out of bed by the hand, and once on his feet, he grabbed her around the waist and pulled her towards him, planting a light kiss on her lips. “Merry Christmas,” he said softly. “I love you.”

“I love you, too,” she whispered, smiling up at him. “But, seriously, get ready. We’re going to be the last ones there.”

Ron dressed quickly and then hurried downstairs with Hermione to find Harry waiting for them. 

“Where’s Ginny?” Ron asked, looking around the kitchen for his sister, but not seeing her.

“She, er, said you were taking too long and went already,” Harry said, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Apparently Christmas is really important.” He looked at Ron, wearing the same concerned expression Hermione had earlier. “Hermione said you had a nightmare.”

Ron shot Hermione a reproving look. She turned faintly pink. “It was nothing,” he said. “Once off. That’s all.”

“We’ve all had them, mate,” Harry said. “Trust me. I spent years having them. And they haven’t stopped just because I’m not a Horcrux anymore.”

“Not funny,” Ron said.

“I thought it kind of was.” Harry shrugged. “The point is, it’s nothing to be ashamed about. I’ve been told memories, the trauma, it can affect you months, even years later. Even when you think you’re fine.”

“It wasn’t that,” Ron said, sighing. “It’s alright. I am fine.”

Harry didn’t look convinced, but he nodded. “Just, we’re here if you need, alright?”

“Thanks,” Ron muttered. “Should we go?”

Harry threw some Floo Powder into the kitchen fireplace, and one by one, they all went to the Burrow. 

It seemed that now that all but Ginny had moved out, Molly and Arthur had far more time to put up Christmas decorations. The first thing Ron noticed when he arrived was a tall Christmas tree in the corner of the living room, decorated in bizarre mis-matched enchanted ornaments. Some were inherited items that his mother had kept because they belonged to someone important in the family. Others were things that Ron remembered making as a kid with his siblings. Pre-Hogwarts days where Molly had just wanted some peace and quiet for a few moments (usually Fred and George running wild) and she’d sat them all down with something to do. Those somethings had turned into Christmas decorations.

Then there were the bought ones that had accumulated over the years.

Ron had missed Christmas at the Burrow. 

The rest of the house was just as oddly decorated, but Ron couldn’t help but grin at how homey his parents had made it. Harry had made some kind of an effort to do up Grimmauld Place for the holiday, but training had kept them working until December twenty-third, and they simply had not had time to do much more than a semi-decorated Christmas tree in the kitchen.

“Oh, Merry Christmas you three!” Molly said, beaming, and gave each of them a hug in turn.

“Merry Christmas, Mum,” Ron said. “Good to see you looking so happy.”

“Why wouldn’t I be, Ronald?” Molly asked. “There’s a lot to be happy about this Christmas.”

Also a lot to be missed, Ron thought, though he didn’t dare express that. He’d half expected to find his mum in tears with it being the first Christmas without Fred. Though, ever since Bill and Fleur had shared their news about the baby, he’d found her in such a joyous mood every time he dropped by that he didn’t know whether to be happy or concerned. 

“Come on, come on!” Molly said, ushering them over to the sofas and armchairs. “We’ll open some presents, and then a little after that, we’ll have lunch.”

Ron squeezed onto a sofa beside Percy and Hermione sat beside him. Ginny and Harry wound up on the floor, and it wasn’t until Ron looked straight up did he notice —

“George!”

Hermione’s head snapped up, Harry and Ginny spun around. George, who’d still been absent for much of the past few months, was sitting on a chair in the corner of the room. 

He looked better than Ron had seen in a long while, even offering everyone a smile and a wave. “Merry Christmas!” he said. 

"Merry Christmas," everyone murmured, and George's smile widened slightly.

Molly, as usual, had knitted everyone a jumper. Also as usual, everyone thanked her and smiled, but Ron knew they'd most likely be put away and never worn. 

"Oh, Ron, this is beautiful!" Ron looked up from opening his gift from Harry, who'd taken the liberty in buying out a lot of Honeydukes, and saw Hermione holding up a gold necklace. 

"Er, you like it?" he asked. 

"It's stunning!" Hermione said, running her fingers along the gold chain and settling on the pearl pendant at the end. It had cost him most of his earnings from the Ministry, but seeing the look on her face made every single Galleon worth it.

He beamed. "Glad you like it!" he said. "I was worried maybe I'd chosen wrong, or something."

"Thank you," she said. "It's perfect." She then passed him a neatly wrapped rectangular gift. As he began to open it, she said, "I would have liked to have gotten you the broom, but… that was ridiculously expensive, so —"

Hermione had gotten him brand new, black marble chess pieces. They were smooth and clean, and he'd be the first one to get to use them. 

"Woah!" he said, grinning at Hermione, "Thanks. Hey, Harry, fancy a game of chess later today?" He held up the chess pieces to Harry who had just opened Ginny's present to him.

"Sure!" Harry said. "They look nice."

"You know…" Hermione said, setting aside her other gifts and staring down at the necklace, "I can play with you, too. You want to help me put it on?"

Ron took the necklace from her and she lifted her hair out of the way so he could get it on. "You? Play chess? You hate it."

"I don't hate it. I just… don't understand it that well. You could teach me, though, couldn't you?"

Ron fastened the necklace, surprising himself by how easily he'd managed to do so. Hermione turned back to face him.

"You want me to teach you how to play chess?" he asked, not sure he had heard right. 

"Yes," Hermione said. "Then we could play together. I'd like to learn."

Ron contemplated her request for a moment, smiling. "Sure, I can teach you, but I won't be teaching you all my secrets. It's the one thing I can beat you at, and I'd like to keep it that way, thanks."

Hermione laughed. "Can anyone beat you, anyway?"

"Yeah, Bill, maybe. He taught me how to play. That necklace looks great on you, by the way." He leaned forward and kissed her lightly on the lips. He wished he could do more, but the living room of his family home with everyone around was not the appropriate place to do so. 

As much as he hated Grimmauld Place, he really did like the privacy it gifted them. 

"Merry Christmas."

They spent the next few hours around the living room. Ron immediately got out his chess pieces and set up a game with Harry. His new pieces were great, much better than the old ones, and he annihilated Harry three times straight before Harry gave up, muttering something about having to help with lunch. 

So, he offered to teach Hermione — who'd been watching his games with Harry intently.

"It's the same as normal chess, isn't it? The rules, I mean?" she said.

"Er, I think," Ron said, setting up his own and Harry's pieces. "Never played the Muggle one before. Besides, you have played it before..." A thought suddenly occurred to him — something he’d not realised before. “Wait, you’ve played it plenty of times. Why do you want me to teach you? You know how to play well enough to give a good game.”

Hermione shrugged, smiling. “Maybe,” she said, “I thought it was a good way to spend time together. Besides, as you said, I can play well enough. I want to know some of your tricks.”

“... oh,” Ron said, feeling his face go red. “Well, right… alright. I’ll teach you. Though, there are plenty of other things we can do to spend time together, you know?”

Ginny, who’d been walking past in that moment, scoffed. “Yeah, but chess is something you can do in public.”

Ron ignored her, looking up at Hermione and indicating the chess board. “You go first. Let’s see how you go.”

It took five games in quick succession for Hermione to make an impact. On the sixth one, Ron suspected that perhaps she’d given up. Hermione didn’t like to lose, and he could see her frustration building, but she persisted, just so he could keep teaching her, he thought. It didn’t bother him, though. It gave them something to do, and he kind of liked the idea of her letting him teach her something. 

Halfway through the seventh game, Molly announced that lunch was ready.

“Maybe tomorrow?” Ron asked, smiling at Hermione. “I had fun.”

“Of course,” Hermione said, standing up and collecting Harry’s chess pieces. “Though, I do have to get some homework done tomorrow morning. Maybe in the afternoon?”

“What?” Ron said as they made their way into the kitchen. “Work? You brought work with you? It’s Christmas!” He couldn’t help feeling a little disgruntled by this unexpected news. She’d only arrived Christmas Eve and had insisted that she needed to return the day after Boxing Day. 

He realised it had taken quite an amount of persuasion to get her out of the school to begin with, but he’d thought she could at least put the books down for a few days.

“It’s a lot of work, Ron,” Hermione said in a hushed voice as they sat down at the table. “NEWTs are even bigger than OWLs, and —”

“So, what am I supposed to do?” Ron asked, also keeping his voice low. “Just sit around and watch you study?” 

“No, you can always spend some time with Harry. Ginny…”

“I see Harry every day!” Ron snapped under his breath. “You, however — my girlfriend, in case you’ve forgotten — I’ve seen less of since we’ve been together than I have since I’ve known you.”

“That’s hardly my fault!” Hermione hissed. “You would have preferred me to leave my parents in Australia, then?”

“That’s not what I meant!” Ron said. “You never told me you wanted to go back to Hogwarts until you’d basically arranged it. I thought… well, I just thought you’d tell me something like that, you know? Bothered to mention it at the very least.”

“Everything okay, dears?” Molly asked, looking at Ron and Hermione with a questioning look. 

Hermione, who’d been about to argue back, closed her mouth. Ron looked at her and saw that she looked rather upset about something. He guessed his own face showed his frustration too. He’d never been good at hiding his feelings.

“Yes,” Ron said, perhaps a little too quickly.

Hermione shot him a scathing look, but said nothing more. 

Harry stared at them both from across the table, looking rather alarmed. Before he’d left to help with lunch, Ron and Hermione had been perfectly happy. 

Ron piled the food onto his plate, glowering at it as he did. Why did she have to keep doing that? Keep making plans without telling him? He’d thought they’d have all of Christmas and Boxing Day together. Even if she’d bothered to mention that she brought work with her, he could have planned around that. Compromised, even…

Once the table had erupted into pleasant chatter, Bill and Fleur talking excitedly about the impending arrival of their baby in April to anyone who would listen, George — to Ron’s delight — speaking about his plans to reopen the joke shop soon, and Percy speaking loudly about how maybe next Christmas, if they were still together (which he hoped they would be), he’d spend Christmas with Audrey’s Muggle family. This seemed to interest Arthur, dropping hints about how he’d love to be invited as well. 

Under the raucous of Christmas lunch, Hermione elbowed Ron. He turned to her, not at all in the mood to continue on with the argument they’d started. But the look on her face was gentler.

“Did you, um, have plans for tomorrow?” she asked, sounding apologetic. 

“No,” Ron mumbled. “I mean, nothing beyond us doing something together. Making up for lost time… you know...”

“It’s just, the workload is really tricky,” Hermione said. “And, I just wanted to get a start on —”

Ron turned back to his food, once again in no mood for talking. 

“— Ron, please, just…”

“It’s okay,” Ron said amidst the loud chatter around them. “I get it. You’ve always been like that. Ever since I’ve known you. Really, I should have guessed.”

“Ron —”

“It’s fine, Hermione. Honestly. I’ll just… I dunno, maybe I’ll come back here tomorrow. Leave you in peace.”

The rest of lunch was very uncomfortable for him. Ron didn’t speak to Hermione, and despite a few attempts on her part, it seemed she had no idea what to say to him. If she’d just admit that she didn’t need to do anything tomorrow, then perhaps they could resolve the issue, but she seemed hellbent on standing her ground, and therefore, so would he. 

“Everything okay?” Ginny asked after lunch, when Hermione had quickly volunteered to help Molly clean up — along with Harry, who was probably querying Hermione at this very moment.

“Yeah. Why wouldn’t it be?” Ron asked, sinking onto a step at the foot of the staircase. 

“Well, you’re sulking,” Ginny said. “And you and Hermione didn’t look very happy over lunch. What happened?”

“Nothing.”

“Ron…”

“Not your business, Ginny,” Ron said. “It’s nothing. Just a small argument, that’s all.”

“So you’re going to sulk for the rest of the day then?” Ginny asked, folding her arms across her chest. “Because if you are, maybe go home. We don’t need your mood here. Especially when Mum is trying to keep it together.”

“What do you mean?” Ron looked up at her. “Mum’s fine. Happy, even.”

“You didn’t notice, did you?” Ginny said.

“Notice what?” 

“The empty seat at the table.”

“The — what? I never saw —” Truthfully, Ron had not taken much in at the table, too busy being upset with Hermione to even enjoy himself. 

“Yeah, she set a spot for Fred,” Ginny said. “Kept looking up at it, fighting back tears. It’s tough, Ron. Tough on all of us. So if you’re going to be moody, take it elsewhere. Or make up with Hermione. I’m sure whatever’s happening is something you can sort out. Tell you’re sorry for whatever it is you’ve done and —”

“I didn’t do anything!” Ron snapped. “Why do you assume it’s me? It’s her… her and her obsession with work. If she just wasn’t so obsessed with it, then… then I’d be okay.”

“You're upset because she’s obsessed with her work?” Ginny asked, sounding amused. “Do you even know her?”

“Yes, I know her! Maybe you can talk to her then. Talk her around. Tell her she’s being ridiculous, and she can go one more day without feeling the need to get her books out.”

“What are you talking about, Ron?” Ginny asked.

Ron jumped up from the step. “Nothing.”

“Well, just try and enjoy the rest of the day, alright? For Mum’s sake. Even if you have to fake it, and then you and Hermione can fight as much as you want when you get home.”

Ron glared at her, feeling his frustration rise. Why couldn’t Hermione just relax a bit? Why did she have to be so —

“Fine,” he muttered. “Fine. I’ll talk to her.” And he stormed off toward the kitchen. Maybe if he made up with Hermione, it would convince her to change her mind anyway.

…

It didn’t. 

The rest of Christmas had been alright, Ron finding Hermione after his talk with Ginny and making things right with her again. Neither of them had apologised specifically, though he thought kissing her in a manner that left her blushing had been a good step to go about it. He’d still been mad with her, but he tried to let that slide for the remainder of the day and well into the evening. 

By the time they’d gotten home later that night, he’d almost forgotten about their argument all together, and their first Christmas together had ended quite wonderfully. 

But, by next morning, it seemed that no amount of affection, no amount of I love yous, and no amount of sex could deter her from her work. When Ron woke he found the space beside him empty, despite it being rather early. They’d gotten back fairly late, been awake even longer — he’d thought that she’d want to sleep for hours.

“What are you doing?” After dressing and stopping by the bathroom to see if she was in there, he came down to the kitchen. She was hunched over an impressive spread of parchment and books and was scribbling away rather quickly for this time of the morning. 

She looked up, a flicker of guilt flashing across her face, before she said, “I thought I’d get some of it done before you… before anyone got up.” She didn’t quite meet his eye as she spoke. “You’re up early.”

Ron took a seat opposite her. “So are you.”

She blushed. “Yes, well…”

“You couldn’t even go two days without thinking about it, could you?” Ron said. “Not even after what happened yesterday. Was I being unreasonable when I asked for two days of your time over the holidays? That’s all, and you couldn’t even manage it.”

Hermione had started gathering up all her bits and pieces, her face filled with guilt. “I thought if I got it done in the morning, then we could… we could have the rest of the day together.”

“It’s not the point, Hermione!” Ron said, feeling a surge of anger inside of him that he’d not felt towards her since… well since he’d thought Crookshanks had eaten his pet rat. “Last night, when we got home, you said to me you could leave it another day. I asked you, and you specifically said —”

“I know what I said!” Hermione told him in an anguished tone. “Alright, I know what I said, but you asked me just after we’d had sex, and I was obviously in a good mood, and, well, you caught me in a moment of weakness. And I didn’t want what you were doing to stop.”

Ron stared at her. She seemed to have realised what she’d said, because her whole face went a furious red and she jumped to her feet so quickly she knocked her chair over.

“I-I’m sorry, Ron. I didn’t mean…” she set the books back on the table and with a tap of her wand, they vanished. Then, she picked up her chair and sat back down, burying her face in her hands. 

Rather than feeling sorry for her, Ron said, “So you lied to me? Just so you could have sex with me?”

“No!” Hermione groaned. “No, I didn’t lie to you. I meant it when I promised you I’d stay away from it. But then when I woke up this morning, I started to stress over it. You seemed out of it, so I thought if I just got an hour in, before you woke up, then… I’m sorry, Ron. I know I promised. I know it looks really bad. I’m sorry.”

“It feels pretty bad, too,” Ron said. He’d really thought he’d convinced her last night, but now all he felt was that she’d used him. He couldn’t recall a time he’d felt so bad about Hermione — as her friend or otherwise — and he’d been pretty miserable when he was convinced she would never see him as anything more than a friend. But it seemed that this now took the cake. Wasn’t she supposed to love him?

“I’m sorry, Ron. I really am. I won’t even look at any homework until I set foot back on school grounds. I won’t even think about it. We can do anything you want today. I’ll —”

“Maybe you should leave,” Ron said darkly.

This seemed to upset her more than anything else. “Ron —”

“You made it clear from the beginning that you were only coming here because I asked you to,” Ron continued, unable to stop himself. “You would have much rather stayed at the school, spending Christmas with your head in your books than with me. You —”

“That’s not true.”

“You then told me you’d changed your mind, acting like you actually cared and I’d managed to convince you that I was better than staying on top of your work, when in reality, I apparently just had you ‘in a moment of weakness’, and then once that was over, once you’d snapped out of that, you couldn’t have cared less about what you’d said to me.”

“No! That’s not true at all, Ron. I do care about you. More than anything. More than —”

“You’re still lying, Hermione! Just… just stop.”

“Ron, I really, really am —”

“Just go,” Ron said. “I really shouldn’t have bothered trying to fix things with you yesterday. It clearly meant nothing.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Hermione asked. 

“It means that I was still mad at you yesterday, but Ginny convinced me to patch things up for the rest of the day because of Mum. So I thought I would, and I realise now I was wrong, because you don’t even care. You never did.”

For a moment, the room was filled with silence. Hermione’s face gradually grew darker as his words sunk in. 

Ron momentarily looked away despite himself. He was angry with her, but he still loved her, and even though he knew he was right in being upset about it all, he hated knowing that what he said was true. He had pretended to make up yesterday because of Ginny’s words. But she had also pretended, so they were kind of even. 

He pushed away the small seed of guilt that had planted itself inside of him at his words and glared at her. 

When she spoke, her voice had lost all of its remorse. 

“You mean to say,” she began, “that all of those things you said yesterday, all of last night, was just an act? And here I was, feeling guilty because —”

“No, it wasn’t an act,” Ron said. “Because believe it or not — and stupidly, so it seems — I actually got over it. By the time we came home, I’d almost forgotten all about it. Would have been nice for you to apologise, though.”

“Me?” Hermione shrieked, and they both glanced to the door to see if it would draw Harry and Ginny down. “I wasn’t the one being unreasonable yesterday. I wasn’t —”

“So, me asking you to take two whole days out of your life for me is being unreasonable, is it?” Ron leapt to his feet, his own voice rising for the first time. 

“It is when I told you I needed to get stuff done!” Hermione cried, also springing to her feet. “You didn’t even have a plan for today. You just wanted me here.”

“Yes, because I stupidly love you and want to spend time with you. You’re my girlfriend, and we’ve spent more time apart than we have together. I hate it, and I miss you. When we get two days together, I just want it to be us. You have every other day to do the other stuff.””

They glared at each other across the long table, both breathing heavily, both furious. 

It was Ron who looked away first, realising she wasn’t going to budge. “Fine,” he said. “Fine. Forget I ever asked you. Forget I even bothered. How stupid of me to think that maybe you’d actually want to spend Christmas with me. Next time I’ll remember you’d much rather be spending it in the Hogwarts library alone.” He turned away, too angry and hurt to even look at her anymore. “I guess this is how it’s going to be, isn’t it?”

“What do you mean?” Hermione asked, and her voice had returned to normal again. 

Still with this back to her, Ron said, “You and me. I suppose I’ve got to get used to coming second to your work.”

There was a long silence, Ron focusing his attention on the odd wall patterns. He’d never noticed just how unusual they were before. 

Then, “Is that how you feel?”

“At the moment? A little, yeah.” He finally turned to look at her again, and he saw that her anger had subsided. He felt his own frustrations melt a little upon seeing her expression, too. She was no longer glaring at him, but looking at him with an air of guilt and surprise — as if she hadn’t realised that it had bothered him so much, that it had felt like a rejection to him. 

He ran his fingers along the table for something to do — he didn’t know what to say now.  

“Well, I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel like that. I never meant to.” She looked down at the table where her work had been sitting a few moments ago. “I really did want to come here for Christmas. I really did want to spend the day with you. I suppose… I suppose I just have to learn to prioritise better.” She looked up, offering a smile. “I’ve never done this before. I’ve never had a proper relationship. I’m still learning.”

Her smile had Ron’s own resolve weakening. He shrugged. “Yeah, and I suppose I need to be a little more understanding of who you are. I mean, I know who you are, what you’re like. I know what’s important to you. I’m really proud of you, by the way. Your dedication, how clever you are...” He also stared at where her work had been a moment ago. “And it’s not like you wasted the whole day doing it. I wasn’t even up, was I?” He felt a tad stupid, only now realising he’d still been in bed the whole time she’d been up, and she’d stopped the moment he’d come down — albeit a little too angry with her. 

“This isn’t as important as you, Ron. I hope you know that,” Hermione whispered. “It doesn’t come first.”

Ron shrugged again, but said nothing. Sometimes he wasn’t sure about that, and sometimes he let his mind get away from him. It wasn’t really her fault — it was his own. 

He looked back up to her, momentarily surprised to see what was sitting around her neck. “You’re wearing the necklace,” he said.

“Of course,” Hermione replied, fingering the pendant and smiling slightly. “It’s beautiful. I love it.”

Ron returned her smile, feeling as if a weight had been lifted off his chest upon seeing her wearing it. He’d been hurt by her, yes, but at the end of the day, he’d known her for eight years now and her habit of overworking hadn’t changed in all that time. It was a part of her that frustrated him, sure, but it was also the part that he deeply admired and loved about her. He supposed that being in a relationship with her made it just that little bit harder to accept than it had when he’d been her friend. 

“I’m glad,” he said after a moment. “I didn’t know if you would… Hermione, I didn’t mean to get so upset. I just… I’m sorry. I miss you. This is a really sucky first year of being with you. I don’t get to see you when that’s all I want to do.”

Still smiling, Hermione stepped around the table so they were on the same side. She hesitated for a moment, and then closed the distance between them. 

Ron held her to him, his chin on the top of her head. A moment later, Hermione looked up, and he kissed her. 

The door to the kitchen swung open, and Harry and Ginny came in with grave looks on their faces.

“Everything okay?” Ginny asked them. “We heard… well, we thought we heard —” She eyed Ron and Hermione suspiciously, as if she hadn’t expected to find them locked together like they were. 

Ron looked at Hermione, and they both smiled at one another. 

“Yeah, everything’s okay,” Ron said. “Just a misunderstanding.”

“It didn’t sound like —” 

Harry placed a hand on Ginny’s shoulder, and she fell silent, nodding. 

“Well, that’s good.” She then moved over to the benches, opening the cupboards. “You guys had breakfast?”

“No,” Ron and Hermione said together.

“Hm, well, what do you two have planned today? Anything exciting?”

“Er —”

“Not sure yet,” Hermione said. “Maybe something with just the two of us, though? If that’s alright?”

Ginny turned back to them, shrugging. “I don’t care what you do,” she said. “Go for it. Just, please, for the love of Merlin, remember to put silencing charms around your room this time.”

Ron grinned at Hermione, pulling her close again. She had turned a deep pink. 

“Love you,” he whispered, kissing her again. Then, lowering his voice even further, he added, ��Let’s never fight again.”

[drawlfoy]

Mirror, Mirror Finale (P.1...)

masterlist (catch up on parts 1-5 here!) request guidelines

pairing: draco x ravenclaw!reader

summary: y/n has had a crush on draco malfoy from afar since--well, forever. what will happen when they’re paired up for prefect rounds and run into a special mirror?

warnings: language

a/n: heyyy guys...how are you doing...so i’m sure you’ve noticed that i have p.1 added into this even though it’s marked as a finale...yes i am aware of the fact but it is not even close to being done and i do not want to give this a half baked ending. i thought you guys might like seeing what i’ve been sitting on for a long time. more writing will be coming soon! i promise! i’m actually working on another oneshot soon that’ll be fun to put out there !

overall tags:  @gruffle1 @missmulti @cleopatera @hahaboop @accio-rogers @geeksareunique @eltanin-malfoy @war-sword @cams-lynn @itsivyberry 

mirror mirror tags:  @theres-a-dog-outside-omg @mey-rapp @kaibie @blackpinkdolan @the-wiener-soldierrrrr @sugarbby99

word count: 2.9k

music recs: i sink i sink -- living hold ; wishes -- beach house ; could this be love? -- saturn 17

Y/N played with the cup of tea that sat steaming before her, running the tips of her fingers around the golden rim. The soft chamomile scent rose up to her nose in charmed yellow tendrils, something that would’ve been calming had she not been sat in front of Professor Trelawny, answering uncomfortable questions and averting her gaze from her loony eyes.

“Dearie, I know that you may not want to share, but it’s incredibly important for the healing process. Even more important than the potions and the tea leaf readings.”

“Er...when I first fell asleep, all my dreams were just of past memories. Aft--”

“Excuse me.” Trelawny held up her hand as she scratched a heading on her parchment. “If you want to get better, you must add more details. What memories? Of what?” 

Y/N swallowed, casting her eyes to the ceiling. “Erm...I saw Malfoy. Draco Malfoy.” Her breath hitched as the professor furrowed her eyebrows. Suddenly the teacup felt scalding in her hand. “I saw our rounds together. When we ran into the mirror, that is.”

“What mirror?”

“The Mirror of Erised.” 

Trelawny raised her eyebrow--a quick motion but not entirely unassuming. “Interesting. Very, very curious indeed. Go on.”

“I saw us...together. I didn’t think that it was a special mirror until afterwards because it looked the same. We were...uhm...together.”

It took a few seconds of staring at Trelawny’s googly eyes before she realized she’d just repeated herself.

“And after that….” Y/N pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to draw out the rest of her memories. “I don’t remember everything else. I’m sorry. It was just everything that I remember about Malfoy in particular...like, the first time I saw him, what it was like to talk to him for the first time, running away from him in the Slytherin dungeons that one night I had to stay overnight for potions...that’s it.”

Her professor nodded gravely, shifting in the only chairs that the hospital wing provided to visitors--hard, cold mahogany wood. “Well done. And after? Once Miss Severyjn woke you up?”

Her throat felt dry. Of course I’d have to recount what happened. Of course I have to tell them about how I had a dream about making out with him in my dorm. Of course. Just my luck.

“I’m sorry,” said Y/N. “It’s just...weird. It felt too private.”

Trelawny seemed slightly empathetic at this; her eyes seemed even kinder (albeit still dreamy) than usual. “I’ve heard it all, love. No need to be ashamed.”

“Okay.” She took a steadying breath. “I...well...it’s fuzzy. I can’t remember exactly why we ended up ditching our rounds and why we decided to go to my dorm instead.”

It was difficult to continue when she saw her companion’s eyebrows shoot up a few inches, but she steeled herself. 

“It took me a long time to unlock my dorm door--I think I was nervous, or something, because my hands were shaking too hard to hold my wand steady. He moved my hand aside and said something--I can’t quite remember what--and he just unlocked it himself. I think I dragged him in by his tie, and he told me that I was trembling, and then before I knew it he was cupping my face. I remember being surprised by how warm his hands were. I thought they’d be colder.”

“Go on, doll. I only need a little bit more.”

“It’s awfully embarrassing, you know,” said Y/N. “I hardly know him.”

“Don’t you worry. Your dream was created by whatever traces of magic the Mirror of Erised left on you. This has nothing to do with how you view Malfoy.”

She dared to smile at this point, mostly as a way to pretend like she wasn’t mortified recounting her tale. “He kissed me. I don’t know if you need any more details, but that’s the grand picture of it all. He kissed me, and I didn’t stop him, and now I feel like a proper creeper, having fantasies about a boy who wants nothing to do with me.”

The wrinkles on Trelawny’s forehead deepened. “Don’t fret. The Mirror of Erised is a very powerful thing. You couldn’t have influenced that dream to work any different than it had. On that note…” She brushed herself off and rolled up the parchment. “You’ve given me enough to work with. The reason why I ask is because sometimes certain dreams can be prophetic--sometimes regarding important wizarding events that the headmaster ought to be aware of--or potentially deadly. Both instances require a bit more...of an intensive treatment regiment, if you will. I’m happy to report to you that your bout of Dream Sickness shouldn’t develop into anything more sinister. I’ll recommend that you stay here for a bit longer, just to ensure that you don’t slip into it again, but you should be able to have visitors and wean yourself off of Dreamless Sleep. Rest up, darling. You have a lot of sleeping to do.”

Y/N smiled weakly as she allowed Trelawny to pluck the teacup from her hands and swirl the leaves about.

“Nothing but good news in your future, just as I suspected. Good night!” 

oOo

Life in the infirmary led Y/N to walk a wobbly line of consciousness. Once Madame Pomfrey lowered the doses of her potion, dreams began to once again tickle at her sleeping mind. Sometimes people she knew would appear next to her bedside, and she was never able to tell if it was real. During one of these instances, Rena appeared to hold her hand and recount the hottest gossip that she missed.

“...And after that, Parvati told Lavender Brown that she was nothing but a ditz whose only acts of Gryffindor bravery had to do with the fact that she left her room every morning wearing THAT disaster of a cloak…but I’m boring you, I can tell.”

Y/N, or perhaps Dream Y/N, whichever one she was, sent her a soft smile. “S’okay. Tell me more.”

“Oh, I totally forgot!” Rena squeezed her hand. “I talked to Flitwick about the whole incident. He sends his condolences. He also says that you’re excused from rounds until we reassign partners. No more late nights with Malfoy!”

She rolled her eyes, shuffling further under the blankets. This was just a dream, just a dream.

“Sucks to be him. He’s gonna have to walk all those big, scary halls alone at night.” 

Rena cracked a grin, but something flashed across her eyes that Y/N couldn’t quite decipher. “Yeah. He already had his knickers in a twist over having to do it the first night. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say he missed you.”

“He missed having someone to harass, you mean,” corrected Y/N. 

“Yeah, I suppose so. He’s not all bad all the time though, you know. I mean, granted, he is a rich little prat, but he has some good in him.”

“Got a crush, hm?” 

Rena’s eyes shifted again. She was nervous thought Y/N. But why? She quickly decided to ask Madame Pomfrey for a higher dose of Dreamless Sleep the next time she saw her as a lucid member of society. This stuff is getting out of hand. 

Before Dream Rena left, she dropped off a bouquet of flowers--white roses, her favorite. Y/N tried to thank her, but she felt herself being tugged softly to a different dream, away, away, away from her dear friend. 

It took a rough shake of the shoulder from Madame Pomfrey before she was awake again.

“Drink,” she said, forcing a goblet of something foul into her hands. “You’ve been delirious. You need to wake up.”

The taste that hit her tongue was bitter and laced with the nostalgia of O.W.Ls season last year--Wide-Eye Potion. Her consciousness came crashing down on her like a cool tide and she became aware of how much sweat was dripping down her back.

Gross.

“Feel better?”

Y/N nodded, but as she turned to set her now-empty goblet on the table next to her, her stomach lurched. 

A vase of white roses stood, unimposing in nature but anxiety inducing when she considered the implications they carried. Rena’s visit hadn’t been a dream--and her last excuse to see Draco, the boy who had made her life hell for the last few weeks, was gone. 

So why did it feel like she’d just been punched in the stomach?

oOo

Exactly a week and one day after she had been admitted to the hospital, Madame Pomfrey allowed her a special privilege--the chance to take a walk around the castle grounds. After breathing the same stale hospital wing air, Y/N was eager to fill her lungs with something colder and fresh.

“Stick close to the gravel path,” said Madame Pomfrey, the wrinkles in her forehead deepening with each word she spoke. “Do not, and I mean, do not, get near a single magical artifact or so help me Merlin. If you feel the slightest bit feverish, you will come right back here and you will not--under any circumstances--lie down and shut your eyes. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Madame Pomfrey.” The words fell out of Y/N’s mouth without her really taking any notice; instead, she watched the way the trees moved outside, swaying softly with the wind. “I promise I’ll be careful.”

The nurse nodded--a brisk, tense motion. “Good. Be back here in 30 minutes. Any later and I will employ the entire staff of this castle to come track you down so I can personally drag you back here.”

Y/N had forgotten how air could be crisp--crisp she thought giddily--as she waltzed her way down the steps and into the courtyard. Her loafers made a satisfying tap on the stone that she almost missed when the pathway turned to gravel, the rocks crunching under toe instead. But regardless, she was stoked. In that moment, she had never felt more alive, not even after she’d gotten near straight Os last year...but seconds later, she was hit with something other than euphoria: namely, a silk clad black shoulder. 

“Ow.”  Y/N went face first into the ground, her cheek bouncing off the hard floor.

“Ah, fuck! Fuck! I’m sorry! I’m sorry!” A posh voice, no doubt the owner of the silky shoulder, sounded from above her. “Oh, oh my god, Y/N? Is that you?”

She rolled over on her back and looked right up into the concerned eyes of Draco Malfoy.

“Er...Hi,” she said. “Lovely day, isn’t it?”

His eyebrows furrowed as he looked down at her. “Are you alright? Why are you out of the hospital wing?”

“Madame Pomfrey let me go for a walk. She said that it’s good for me. Also she told me not to...fuck, I’m not supposed to lie down!”

The flash of terror in her eyes seemed to say enough, and before she knew it, he was hauling her up off the ground.

“Why are they letting you walk out all alone?” asked Draco, his tone demanding but not entirely uncaring. 

“I think they presumed that everyone on the path would have the common decency to avoid a poor sick girl coming out for her first walk in a week, but clearly they thought too soon.”

Draco still hadn’t completely let go of her shoulders, where his hands were clasped firmly around the sides in a gesture meant to steady. He snorted at that moment, a bit of his old self shining back through as he narrowed his eyes down good-naturedly at her. “It’s hardly like the entire school has been issued a warning that you’ve been released.”

“Oh, quit stroking my ego like that.” Y/N tilted her eyebrow to examine him. For the most part, her old rounds partner looked no different--same strikingly light eyes, same aristocratic features, same expensive and fashionable apparel--but the bags under his eyes were new. “Have you been sleeping? Like, at all?”

“Me?” 

“Yeah, you. Who else?”

His hands moved away from their supporting position to scratch the back of his neck. “Oh, er, not much. I keep worrying about getting what you came down with. Rena told me about the Dream Sickness and how it was because of the mirror, and it’s just hard for me to sleep.”

“Oh. I’m sorry about that.”

“Yeah.” He shifted his weight back and forth, his hands shoved deep into his pockets.

“What exactly did Rena tell you?” Y/N’s words snapped Draco back to attention. “And if you say everything I will lie down on the ground, go back into my dream coma, and tell everyone it’s your fault.”

“Well, then.” A smirk danced across his lips. “Nothing. Rena told me nothing.”

Y/N stared at him for a few seconds before lowering herself to the ground, never breaking eye contact. 

“What--what are you doing?”

His face went out of her eye line as she lay flat on the ground, stretching her limbs out to vaguely resemble a starfish and exhaling a heavy sigh. “I’m going to sleep right here. When Madame Pomfrey finds me, barely toeing the line between life and death, I’ll have rehearsed a speech in my mind about how Draco Malfoy knocked a poor sick girl over in the gravel pathway and then harassed her to the point of exhaustion.”

When Y/N opened her eyes, she could see Draco come into vision. His green and silver striped tie swung in the air above her as he leaned over her, a slight grimace on his face.

“I don’t think you were sorted into the right house.”

“Keep your comments to yourself,” she said, shutting her eyes again and taking in a deep breath. “Some of us are trying to sleep.”

“I thought you were--Y/N, wait!” A hand reached out to gently shake her shoulder. “Wait! I thought you were kidding!”

“I never kid. I’m very serious. Leave me be, now. I have a speech to write.”

She heard a loud and rather over dramatic sigh above her before a hand started tugging at her arm, lifting it up over her head and pulling.

“Draco! Stop!”

“Calling me Draco, now, huh? Awfully intimate when you’re about to frame me for attempted murder,” he said, his tone surprisingly consistent and clear for someone hauling a whole adult woman off the ground. “Can you at least try to help me? A little bit?”

“Fuck off,” was the only thing coming out of Y/N’s mouth as he pulled her to her feet for the second time in less than 10 minutes. Once they were both standing, just barely a meter apart, Y/N found herself at a complete loss for words. Draco was looking down at her with an emotion displayed across his features that she could not quite place, and it made her stomach twist. 

“You have gravel stuck in your hands.” 

His voice took her by surprise. It had softened considerably, almost to a whisper. There was none of the usual snottiness or nasal judgement present--just a breathy declaration that made her knees weak from the sudden shift in energy.

His hand moved towards hers, and he met her eyes with a gaze that asked “is this okay?” Y/N couldn’t help but just stare, wide-eyed and unable to blink, as he gently took her hand and began pulling out the rocks. 

“I have to tell you something,” said Draco, still quiet and unimposing in tone. “I...I know that this might come as a surprise, and I know that you...er...probably don’t care to hear this, but, erm…”

Y/N just stared.

“I’ve been feeling this way for a while, and I just didn’t really figure it out until you, uh, you got sick, and I know I’ve been a proper prat to you and that you have no need to reciprocate anything, truly, but, ehm…”

His adam’s apple bobbed up and down as he squeezed his eyes shut, like he was in pain or something. 

“Spit it out, Draco, I don’t have all day,” added Y/N lightly. 

“Miss Y/L/N!” 

A voice boomed across the courtyard, making Y/N nearly jump out of her skin. A quick turn revealed that it was Madame Pomfrey. And a furious Madame Pomfrey at that.

“You foolish, foolish girl,” said Pomfrey, seizing her by the arm and dragging her away. “Speaking to the same boy in your dreams? Why don’t you just go and lick the Mirror of Erised and fall asleep right after? You give me migraines.”

“I’m so sorry Madame Pomfrey! I didn’t mean to!” Apologies rolled out of Y/N’s mouth at a rapid-fire pace, not stopping until she’d been escorted back to her bed.

“I am so disappointed in you,” the older lady snapped as she stormed over to the neighboring bed, angrily wringing out a washcloth. “No visitors. Not until you have a perfect bill of health.”

Hospital air had never felt so stale.

final a/n: whew this was a long one and definitely not all. this was about half of my draft and i’m still working on it, so we’ll see how long the next one is. i hope that you guys enjoyed! comments/thoughts on this chapter will definitely give me more motivation to finish this series strong, so i’d love to hear what you guys thought of this :) thanks for reading!

[blkmxrvel]

Haven’t Forgotten My Way Home [17] - (CONVERTED)

Pairing: Kara Zor-El x Female!Reader

Summary: In the D/s society of National City, men and women abandoned by their Dom/mes or otherwise deemed unfit for life “outside” end up at the Mount Overland House for Orphaned Submissives. It is here that Kara Zor-El finds Y/N Hastings, broken and fearful from mistreatment at the hands of her former Dom. Can Kara coax Y/N back into the world that once so terrified her, and show her the true meaning of care and submission?

Warnings: Domestic Violence (Flashbacks, Mentions and Descriptions), Misogyny, Domination/Submission.

A/N: hi, back from the dead just to finish uploading this story conversion bc I’ve gotten a lot of asks about it! Still not writing anything myself so 😗 yeah Hope you enjoy

“Kara, is that a zip drive in your hand or are you just happy to see me?”

“… no?”

“I’m not watching any PowerPoints.”

“I brought cake?”

Lena sighed heavily and stepped aside to let Kara pass through the front door. “I regret ever telling you that cake is my weakness,” she pointed out. She closed the door and turned to Kara with a searching look. “And I imagine you’re here to talk to me about yours.”

“Am I that transparent?” Kara asked, sitting both the zip drive and the chocolate cake (extra icing) on the table. She sighed and sat down on the couch, then glanced up at the ceiling. “You don’t, er, have anyone tied up at the moment, do you?”

“No,” Lena smirked. “She’s gone to the pharmacy.”

“Oh,” Kara said as her friend sat next to her and crossed her legs. “I hope everything’s all right?”

“Everything’s just fine,” Lena said, and her smirk widened into a full-blown smile. “She’s gone for a pregnancy test.”

“Lena!” Kara gasped, launching herself at the woman and pulling her into a hug. “Lena, that’s amazing!”

Lena returned the hug, laughing. “We don’t know for sure yet, of course,” she cautioned. “But we’ve been trying for a little while and Sam's late, so…”

“This is the real deal, huh?” Kara said, pulling away and smiling with a wistful look. She’d known it was real when Lena had told her of her claim, but a baby… She couldn’t help but wonder what if-

“Kara?” Lena placed her hand on Kara’s knee, rubbing gently. Her voice was full of concern as she asked, “You’re not… jealous, are you?”

“What? No!” Kara said, shaking her head vigorously. She willed her smile to be a little less sad, realizing that Lena had completely misunderstood the emotion behind it. “You know I love you, Lena, but you also know I stopped caring for you like that a while ago.”

She hadn’t expected for their relationship to deepen the way it did. She was young and Lena was more experienced, both in their lifestyle and in life. Most people didn’t start relationships after their training was complete, but after Kara had spent her week on her knees learning from Lena, things had changed once she’d gotten back on her feet. In Lena she had found a caring Dominant, someone willing to take time for Kara, to teach her things that Kara couldn’t learn from books. And in Lena Kara had found an equal, someone who inspired her intellectually, met her attitude measure for measure, and had been responsible for more than just one awakening.

So it wasn’t any wonder Lena was concerned about residual feelings. Kara knew her feelings for the woman to whom she’d given her virginity wouldn’t just fade away, but she also knew that they could change. And, “It’s not really you I was thinking of,” Kara confessed, “It’s Y/N.”

“Y/N?” Lena said, seeming relieved.

“Just imagining what it would be like to know she was going out to buy a pregnancy test. For herself, or me.” Kara shrugged. “I guess I am quite transparent.”

“And a bit jumping the gun,” Lena said matter-of-factly. “I’m not sure either of you are ready for that leap yet. But you obviously didn’t make a PowerPoint to discuss what movies Y/N likes.”

“Wizard of Oz,” Kara muttered half to herself, and then sighed again. “I don’t suppose you really need to see the PowerPoint, though it’s a very good one, if I do say so myself.”

“And the subject?” Lena said, getting up to pour herself and Kara a drink and to cut the cake for them to share.

“Forty slides of reasons why I cannot fulfill Y/N’s request for me to dominate her.”

Lena’s hands stopped in mid-air, the knife hovering over the cake, and she gaped at Kara. “She asked you to dominate her?”

“Yes.”

“And I’m correct in assuming that you said no?”

“Would I be sitting in your living room, looking appropriately and movingly distressed if I had said yes?”

“Watch yourself, Kara,” Lena said sharply. “You know I will not accept disrespect, no matter how distressed you are, and even if you are not my submissive.”

Kara rolled her eyes, even as she winced. She well remembered the pain in her 17 year old bottom from every smack of Lena’s hand, and then the belt. But that didn’t compare to the humiliation of seeing Lena’s disappointed face beforehand as she gave Kara the lecture about respect, or being put over Lena’s lap with her skirt flipped up and her panties down.

“I’m sorry,” Kara said quietly. “I just…” She trailed off and accepted the drink and plate Lena handed her before sitting down next her again.

“You didn’t want to say no.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Then why did you?”

Kara shrugged again. “I don’t know. Because she isn’t ready. Because I’m not ready. Because she has nightmares every night of him. Because she flinches whenever I raise my voice? Because if I even say the word ‘whipped’ or ‘paddled’ or ‘punished,’ she looks at me like she’s seeing him. Because—“

“You’re scared.”

“I really hate how you put words in my mouth.”

“You hate the fact that I’m right more.” Kara hmphed, and Lena chuckled a little. “You’re scared to dominate her, but you’re not happy with just casually dating either.”

Their society hadn’t really been built around casual dating, Kara knew. Back when her parents were young, when their parents were young, it was unspoken that when you found a Dominant, you were claimed by them before you even thought of doing anything with them. It was to be forever, a bond that was never to be broken. Kara had to admit that she preferred the way things were done now. If she had been born decades ago she would have never even thought about giving herself sexually first to Lena, instead of to her intended. But she was grateful for the experience, and even more glad that Dominants and submissives had the freedom to choose who they wanted to be with, and were allowed to have the sort of “trial and error” relationships that wouldn’t have been possible in the past. No longer did submissives feel as if they had to submit themselves to the first Dominant they came across, and no longer did Dominants feel as if they had to make a claim as soon as they reached a certain age.

And dating Y/N was nice… for the little time they had done it. Kara felt a particular twist in her stomach as she wondered if she’d ever be able to feel that way again, to be excited waking up the morning of a date. The rush of kissing in the moonlight before Y/N went inside Nia’s house. Sitting across from Y/N in a crowded coffee shop and knowing that Y/N only had eyes for her.

But Lena was right. For Kara, that wasn’t enough. She’d always pictured herself as meeting The One – the submissive with whom she’d share that unbreakable connection. She was probably too melodramatic for her own good, she’d been raised on musicals after all; but Kara had always imagined it would be the meeting of eyes across a crowded room. Two people gravitating towards each other, reaching out to grasp hands and… that would be it. Lover and friend, Dominant and submissive, together forever.

It was a child’s dream, and she was no longer a child. But that didn’t stop her from wishing.

“What exactly is it that you think I’m afraid of?”

“Why are you afraid of going to New York?”

“Why does everyone keep asking me that?!” Kara snapped, slamming her drink down on the table in front of the couch. She saw Lena’s lips tighten, and Kara took a deep breath. “Y/N seems to think I’m terrified of that as well.”

“And let me guess, you shut her down.”

“I didn’t shut her down; I merely told her the conversation was closed.”

“Refresh my memory on how that is different.” Kara didn’t say anything, just crossed her arms over her chest and glared down at the carpet. Lena sighed. “Do you remember when I was training you, and you sassed off at me so I whipped you?”

“How could I forget? I felt it for a week afterward.”

“And what’s part of the reason?”

Kara refused to look at Lena. “You accidentally wrapped the belt over my hip.” Lena had taken the utmost care with her, but she knew from her classes at the Academy that sometimes accidents happen. And that the most important thing was to tell your Dominant. But Kara had wanted to make Lena proud, hadn’t wanted the woman to see her as weak when Kara was working so hard to be good. A good submissive-in-training, a good Dominant. So she had kept quiet, even through the pain.

“And you didn’t tell me until I saw you looking at the mark in the mirror later that night.”

“No, Miss Lena.”

It felt weird, saying that, because she wasn’t a submissive and Lena wasn’t her Dominant, but Kara hadn’t spoken to Y/N for the last three days – she hadn’t called – and Kara had been struggling to maintain control of a life that she felt was spiraling out of her reach. Lena had always, ever since Kara was seventeen, been able to pull Kara out of herself and take that control, even for just a little while. Enough for Kara to clear her head and start thinking rationally again. Sometimes it was just nice to have Lena wrap her arms around Kara and pull her close, for Kara not to have to think about being strong and brave and dominant.

“What did I tell you that night, once I’d made sure you were all right and after I’d apologized for being careless?”

Kara nuzzled herself deeper into Lena’s arms, taking a deep breath and letting the worries that had overwhelmed her slip away a little. “That communication was important. That you can’t have a true relationship between a Dominant and a submissive unless both parties know they can talk freely, about anything and everything. But this is different,” she protested.

“No, it’s not,” Lena said firmly. “You’re afraid to go to New York, and you’re afraid to dominate Y/N just as much as she’s afraid to be dominated by you. You have a right to talk to Y/N about being afraid to dominate her, and she has a right to ask you why you’re so scared about that, and why you’re so scared to go to New York. And if neither of you talk about either of those things, then every fear you have right now of being like him is going to come true.”

“She’s not ready,” Kara said, sitting up. “She tells me that she doesn’t want to have to choose all the time, but how can she say that when she’s never even had choices?”

“You know,” Lena mused, smiling a little at Kara, “As much as I like wolves, you and the council did rather just toss Y/N out to them.” Seeing Kara’s look of confusion, she continued, “Think about it. Y/N’s life, although harsh, was all she’s ever known. And though she left on her own, she was still ripped away from it. And now you, and the council, and everyone involved is telling Y/N that she has to do it all herself, that she can’t have any support system. No wonder she’s terrified.”

“Having a support system is a lot different from being dominated, though,” Kara said, standing up and beginning to pace around Lena’s living room floor. “It isn’t as if she’s completely alone. She has Alex, and Maggie. Nia and her physical therapist and Miss Holliday. She doesn’t need to be dominated; she needs to learn what it’s like to have friends. She needs to learn it’s okay to have her own needs and desires and to have all of them met. She can’t do that if someone starts dominating her just months after she got away from that… that asshole. I can still be supportive of Y/N while not being her Dominant.”

“And you can dominate her without being her Dominant, and without taking away her choices.”

Kara didn’t see how that was possible. As much as just casually dating Y/N wasn’t enough, she didn’t think she could dominate her, either, not without the intent to claim her. And Y/N was nowhere near ready for that. Kara didn’t know if she’d ever be ready. No, the important thing was that Y/N knew she had choices, and that she learned how to make them. Maybe then, after a few years, they’d both be ready to try.

“Plus I could get in trouble with the council,” Kara offered, but knew by the way Lena rolled her eyes that she’d seen past the feeble excuse. She was good at that.

“The council,” Lena scoffed, shaking her head and moving to refill her drink. “The council, my darling Kara, is nothing but a group of old men sitting around thinking that they know what’s best for the Dominants and submissives of our society. And frankly I don’t think they should be telling me or you a damn thing about how to live our lives when they probably can’t even dominate their own penises into doing what they want.”

Kara choked on her drink and tapped her chest, spluttering. She stared at Lena in shock; her former lover simply smirked at her. “So you’re telling me to go against the council? Against what I think is the right thing?”

“I’m telling you to stop being so scared.” Kara sat back down on the couch and Lena once again patted her knee. “Tell me, when she asked you to dominate you, what terrified you?”

Kara thought for a moment. “How much she wanted me to punish her. I didn’t think, after all that she’s been through… I thought that would be the last thing she’d ask for.”

Lena nodded. “She probably wanted you to physically punish her too.”

“I’ll never,” Kara said vehemently. “I’ll never do that to her. Ever.”

“Notice that you just said you will never, not that you would never.”

“I hate you and your word-twisting ways,” Kara muttered, and Lena laughed. “I just don’t understand why she would want that. After everything he’s done to her, why would she want me to punish her? To spank her?”

“She obviously did something that made her think she needed to be punished.”

“She was being a grumpy brat.”

“Oh dear, you have met your match, then,” Lena said, sounding more than a little gleeful. “I can’t wait to see how this plays out.” Seeing Kara’s glare, she cleared her throat and continued. “So she did something that upset you, and she wanted to rectify the situation. In Y/N’s mind, wrongdoing equals punishment. Punishment results in forgiveness, forgiveness means moving forward with a clean slate. So that sounds remarkably—“

“Submissive,” Kara finished for her, sighing. “So it’s the not the punishment she wants, it’s something normal. Something she knows. Even if it means I’d punish her physically, she’d try to take it just so she could have that little piece of her life back. But isn’t that proof that she isn’t ready?”

“No. It’s proof that she’s trying to take control of her own life.”

Kara blinked. “I don’t follow.”

“A Dominant doesn’t need a submissive, but you can’t dominate anyone until you have a submissive. And you can’t have a submissive until one chooses to be yours. Until someone chooses to give you that control, you don’t have it. And Y/N made her choice. She took control of her own choices, her own wants, and tried to give you her submission. Everything you would be in that relationship is because she has made the choice to give it to you.”

“I don’t know if it’s me she wants, or just… someone to be nice to her.”

“No one’s saying for you to claim her.”

“Then what are you saying?” When Lena was silent, Kara pressed harder. “Lena, you know I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t value your opinion more than most, probably even more than my daddies’. You’re the one that taught me, and if I’m going to be a good Dominant it’s partly because of what I learned from you. Please.”

“Do you think you’re going to be a good Dominant?” Lena met Kara’s eyes, challenging her. “Isn’t that what’s really holding you back, both from dominating Y/N and going to New York? You don’t think you’re good enough for either.”

Kara felt the chill run from the base of her neck down her spine, and she struggled to maintain her control over the emotions that threatened to overwhelm her at Lena’s words. How many nights had she lain in bed since she was 18 years old, dreaming of New York, of Broadway, of the school where people would appreciate her, where she would feel home? It had been a long time since she felt the excitement of new possibilities, of new discovery. She’d gotten used to getting up every day, the three cups of coffee before 9 a.m. that would barely sustain her for the rest of the day. Gotten used to meeting life’s broken, the castoffs, the unwanted, and feeling powerless to fix any of it. But gradually thoughts of New York had been replaced by helping who she could; dreams of Broadway had been pushed aside in favor of being the leading actress in a play of saving the world. Or at least the Lima part of it.

And then she’d met Y/N Hastings.

Now things were different. Now Kara got up every day not just thinking of the wounded submissives, but thinking of one. And lately the thoughts of one were overriding the thoughts of many. Y/N made her feel… awake, for the first time in a long time. Things that Kara hadn’t felt since she was on her knees for Lena, in Lena’s arms, in Lena’s bed came rushing back to her with a force that she hadn’t known even with her former lover. And there it was, the desire to care for one, the desire to control one, the desire to bring one to her knees and then lift her back up.

The one that felt like home.

But it scared Kara to death.

Because when she thought of Y/N on her knees, it wasn’t Kara herself she saw behind the other woman. It was him, with his harsh words and brutal hand. But the words were in her voice, the hand attached to her arm, and Kara knew she would rather die than be to Y/N what James had been. She tried to tell herself that there was no possible way she could be like him, that the very fact she’d rather die than treat Y/N badly would be the prevention of it, but Kara knew, again, that even experienced Dominants like Lena sometimes messed up. What if she destroyed Y/N even further than she had already been? What if she punished her the wrong way, said the wrong thing, was the wrong Dominant for the girl and neither of them realized it until it was too late? What if, just like in her dreams for Broadway, Kara suddenly found herself lacking?

What if she wasn’t good enough?

“You’re getting too far inside your own head,” Lena said quietly, a hand on Kara’s shoulder pulling her out of her thoughts. She smiled fondly, wrapping her arm around Kara and hugging her close again. “That’s why I almost never put you in the corner that week. I don’t know if you noticed that. But I could see that you liked to think about things far too much, and you’d end up beating yourself far more than I ever would.”

“What if I’m not good enough?” Kara asked bluntly. “What if I do this and I’m not what she needs, what if I’m the worst possible person for her and I end up hurting her worse than even he did?”

“Again, no one’s asking you to claim her. You just need to find a good balance, something that works for both of you.”

“How do I find that balance?”

Lena smiled and squeezed Kara. “By listening to your nature. To what’s in your heart. Kara, you’re more than good enough. For Y/N, and for New York. You’ve been wonderful, taking care of your father and doing your job. But maybe now it’s time for you to focus on yourself, and on Y/N too. You’ll never know, you might find out you’re exactly what she needs. And she might be exactly who you need. But you never know until you try. Oh, and Kara?”

“Yes?”

Lena hugged Kara close to her, pulling the girl’s head onto her chest. “I am so proud of you.”

Lena’s words echoed in Kara’s head hours after, when she lay in her bed in the darkness, idly petting Arnie and staring at the phone resting on her chest. People had told her before that they were proud of her, her fathers mostly, but somehow it was different, coming from Lena. It was almost like vindication, reassurance that the path she was on was the right one. Even if she wasn’t sure of it.

She glanced at the clock. Two twenty-three a.m. She glanced down at the phone again.

What would it take, Kara wondered. What would it take for her to stop being scared? What would it take for her and Y/N to throw caution to the wind and trust each other? What would it take for her to find that balance, the mix of dominance and freedom that Y/N not only craved, but needed? What would it take for Kara to be who she was born to be, and to maybe find the person she was born to be with?

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.

Kara picked up the phone and took a deep breath, pressing a button. The speed dial kicked in instantly.

One ring.

Two.

Three.

Then, just as she was about to hang up, a sleepy but panicked voice. “A-are you all right? Do you n-need anything?”

Kara smiled a little to herself, reaching up a hand to wipe at the tears that had begun to fall.

“Yes,” she said quietly. “Yes, Y/N, I do need something.

[homosociallyyours]

@velvet-impala tagged me to answer this long set of questions, and bc I love this sort of thing I’m DOING IT! I’ll tag folks here just in case you don’t want to read thru this whole dang thing. But I wanna say: if you want to do this, PLEASE DO IT and tag me so I can see-- I *love* reading responses to stuff like this. But @la-paritalienne @disgruntledkittenface @and-id-marry-larry @calmrry @crinkle-eyed-boo @lightwoodsmagic -- y’all are tagged :) 

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black, but what matters most is how smoothly it writes.

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? walkable neighborhood in a city. 3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? would love to learn how to hack into billionaire bank accounts without getting caught so i could redistribute their wealth to a variety of mutual aid funds. :)  4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? no, just milk! unless it’s really shitty/bitter coffee, and then i will take it with a couple sugars or sweetened creamer. 

5. What was your favourite book as a child? probably the Anne of Green Gables books  6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers! i wanna love a bath, but i get bored too fast and i never feel comfortable (where do i put my head? my feet? what do i do when my belly isn’t covered by the water and it gets cold?) so they’re meh. 

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? dryad! i wanna be a tree spirit!

8. Paper or electronic books? paper, i guess. but i do love reading fic electronically, so..

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? used to be my work hoodie. but now i would say this blue striped button down i have OR this one black dress i have with 3/4 sleeves that’s really soft and comfy. 

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i always meant to start going by Dottie when I got older, but it hasn’t happened yet so it probably won’t by now? but i would never change my name generally speaking. 

more after the cut! 

  11. Who is a mentor to you? i had a co-worker who was really a mentor for me since i got into being a cheesemonger in 2008. he’s been in the industry for a long time and basically recruited me to the job i have/had here. but when i got sick he basically dropped me/hasn’t spoken to me in a long time. let me tell you: it fucking sucks. bc a mentor is a cross between a friend and a colleague and a relative; we jokingly called him my lesbian uncle. and so losing him from my life so completely over something like this is deeply shitty. 

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for?  not now, but before i was sick i would’ve said yes. BUT only bc i think i would be a great Saturday Night Live host (not a cast member! just a one time host with a monologue/skits). So whatever level of fame i needed to get that..

13. Are you a restless sleeper? I have really bad insomnia that means i take at least an hour to fall asleep most nights. Once I’m out, I usually sleep ok, but i do have intense dreams/nightmares that wake me up sometimes. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? yeah :/

15. Which element best represents you? earth: the wet dirt and leaves in a forest after rain in particular

16. Who do you want to be closer to? emotionally i’m pretty good i think. physically i wish i could be closer to friends and family in NYC, Seattle area, TN/Atlanta, and Germany

17. Do you miss someone at the moment? the people referenced above. also missing my Grandmomma a lot lately and my mom. 

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory. art lessons with my grandmomma. her set of pastels that were all worn down and the heavy paper (black) that she pulled out to work on. she drew a quick portrait of a man, showing me how to create depth in skin tones with blue and green against the softer flesh tones. she didn’t blend it out, the marks all painterly and strong-- her style. i was 10, maybe? 12? so not *early* but it feels like forever ago. 

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? i have no idea? i’ve eaten a lot of weirdish cheeses. i’ve had geoduck? 

20. What are you most thankful for? the amazing friends i’ve gathered into my life along the way, my dad, and my baby dog. 

21. Do you like spicy food? yes, within reason (i don’t get stuff that’s spicy just for the heck of it, like ghost pepper chips or whatever? but when spice is integrated in with other flavors i love it)

22. Have you ever met someone famous? i used to make up stories about meeting famous people that were based on partial truths. i’ve hung out with or met a lot of gay famous people. but the biggest person who comes to mind is Sandra Bernhard. I sold her cheese.  23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? i have over the years. now i sometimes write things down in a paper journal, but mostly go to a really old blogging site where i basically put all my big feelings down in a public but sorta private spot.  

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil? depends on my mood.

25. What is your star sign? taurus sun and moon, gemini rising

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? in between...not HARD crunchy, but not soft soggy. 

27. What would you want your legacy to be? would like people to remember that i loved them well and made them feel good/happy when i was around them. and hopefully that it made them feel like being good to others too. 

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? i do, but i’m mostly reading fic these days. i think the thing i read last was Pink Like the Paradise Found, which was FANTASTIC!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i tell them, shower them with physical affection, and do little things for them. also try to remember small details about what they enjoy and then do stuff to make them feel good when they’re down

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? yes, but not too much

31. What are you afraid of? sometimes being along but only when it’s very dark out and i’m in the sads. honestly-- this is some deep internalized ableism but here it is --i’m very afraid of never getting better and not being able to take care of myself or anyone else. 

32. What is your favourite scent? jasmine flowers, pu-er tea, the specific scents of people i love

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? however they’re introduced i guess. maybe because i’m an older person lol

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? i would live in the apartment i had alone (with a guest room). i would hire someone from my community to come help me out sometimes. i would get a weekly grocery delivery from the good quality place. i would have a dog walker. and i would fly home to see my family more than once a year and fly my family out for a visit sometimes. so like. probably the way a lot of ppl live? idk. 

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? ocean

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? get dinner at the thai restaurant down the street a couple times. 

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? yes, lots! 

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? i’m not having kids BUT for the kids in my life, i try to teach them/model the importance of consent and respect for their own bodies as well as other people’s. and i know it said one thing, but alongside that is that i respect and love them for who they are, and that’s something they get to decide. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? i want a lot of tattoos, but if i could get one tomorrow it would be a cheese themed tattoo with a variety of cheese knives (parm tools, dutch style knife) and a small cheese assortment. or a portrait of my dog

40. What can you hear now? this kinda dumb netflix show that i decided to binge today even tho it’s only kinda meh and my dog snoring just a little. 

41. Where do you feel the safest? when i’m surrounded by friends. 

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? my stupid money issues prolly

43. Of you could travel back to any era, what would it be? wanna go back to 1977 and live in the girl direction AU i wrote last year, lol.

44. What is your most used emoji? laugh crying emoji or sobbing maybe

45. Describe yourself using one word. colorful

46. What do you regret the most? not sure if this is a thing but i regret not realizing when i got bitten by a tick/got lyme disease the first time, bc maybe i could’ve just taken antibiotics and killed it, and then maybe i wouldn’t be sick? 

47. Last movie you saw? watched the new charlie’s angels the other night

48. Last tv show you watched? this dumb show is called sweet magnolias, and it’s. honestly not terrible! it’s just not my style of show. OH WAIT i take it back, they left it on a really shitty cliffhanger without warning, and that is the one way to make me drop your show/fic HARD unless i like. genuinely love you. so byeeee dumb show, hope you get cancelled

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. saungry: sadness brought on by being hungry, like hangry except oops you’re crying now! example: “fuck i knew i should’ve eaten before calling my best friend, now i miss them and i’m too saungry to figure out what to eat! Guess I’ll have tears for dinner” (almost called it sungry, but the internet thinks that might just mean ‘so hungry’)

did you make it to the end? WOW! devotion. thank you. 

[chantealalune]

Love Like Yours Fest @lovelikeyoursfest

Day 1 Catch-Up: Start of Something New

“Fool in the Rain”-An Asra x F!mc Laura short story

Asra hums and drums, slouching over the top of the counter with a sleepy Faust around his shoulders. Eyes closed and face smushed in his hand he groans, “My love, is anyone really going to come in today with this hurricane going?” As if on cue, a loud clap of thunder roars outside. “Danger Air!” Faust squeaks.

I smile to myself as I continue tidying up the shelves and displays along the walls, “It is raining harder than usual that’s for sure,” picking up one of the moonstone orbs, a carefully buff a smudge from its surface “But we still have a few charms and ritual kits ready for pick-up. I would hate to keep anyone waiting out there if we were to be away.” Satisfied with the presentation of the items I turn to face him.

“You’re welcome to go rest upstairs though. I don’t mind at all.” I saunter towards him and gently rest my forehead against his. He closes his eyes and pecks the tip of my nose making a thoughtful sound. I flush a bit and laugh softly.

“I know,” he sighs happily pulling away to look at me “but I always loved waiting out storms with you by my side. It reminds me of the first time we met.” he gently squeezes my hand.

First time we met?

“I thought you told Nadi and her sisters that we met when she first came to Vesuvia and I was pushed into your booth.” 

“Well technically that’s the first time I saw you, but we actually didn’t talk or ‘formally’ introduce ourselves then.” he clarifies looking up at the ceiling. 

“Yeah, you were probably too starstruck. And here I thought Muriel was the shy one.” I smirk coyly as he blushes.

“What?! No! I mean- how was I supposed to say anything when the famed goddess next door was suddenly on my table.” 

“I only kid. Anyways if we didn’t ‘meet’ then, when and how did our first meeting go?”

Asra looks to the side while using his free hand to scritch Faust’s chin, “Hehe..yeah, it’s kinda a funny story. Er, a bit of a long one-” “Crimes with Asra!” Faust perks up, dodging Asra’s hand.  “Faust!” he feigns betrayal.

“Haha, what? What does she mean? Oh gosh Asra, what did we do?” I give a loving, skeptical look and squeeze his hand. 

“Oh no no! You didn’t do anything at all I swear it was all- well.. like I said it’s a bit of a funny story.” He smiles sheepishly looking at Faust for some grain of mercy.

“All right then,” I let go of his hand, “how about I get us some tea and you can tell me at the table” I smile as I walk through the warm yellow glow of the kitchen entrance next to the opening of the counter. 

“Yes please!” He all but sprints after me. Immediately pulling out the wooden chairs for us to sit in. Faust slithers down his arm and into an empty Prakran fruit bowl for a nap. 

I gently rouse the stove salamander and place our copper kettle over the ignited flame. As the water heats up, I pour my favorite Chai tea blend into two mismatched clay cups. Taking out the last of the week’s cream and some ground hazelnut for fix-ins. A few minutes later our tea is brewed and ready. I hand Asra his cup before placing mine and sitting down, rubbing the top of Faust’s head. 

“This is really nice, thank you.” He takes a sip, giving a satisfied ‘mmm’ of approval “Oh, but before I start- please let me know if you’re feeling any headaches or pains. I know, I know you are ‘infinitely stronger’ now and you haven’t had a spell like that since the night at the fountain but you know I’ll always worry.” he warns somberly.

“Of course, thank you.” I reassure and pat the top of his hand before comfortably leaning back into my chair and taking the first sip of my drink. It’s nice and spicy, perferct for the cooler weather.

Asra takes another quiet sip before going into the story, “When we first met it had been about a year since Muriel left the arena and him and I moved to the woods. We lived off the land okay but going to the markets for things was inevitable. So I had been selling charms, masks, readings, y’know the usual crowd drawers. Like I mentioned to Nadi I had set up my booth behind the shop once and that’s how I met you,” We smile cheekily at the last bit.

“After that first time I saw you, I just- I couldn’t get you out of my head. I had to see you once more at the very least just to know it wasn’t a dream. So from then I would constantly hang around the back or within the streets just hoping to catch another glimpse of you. Maybe even work up the nerve to talk to you. It worked eventually, we would see each other as you would come and go to the markets. Sometimes you would come and look at the wares I had that day” he smirks mischeviously, “Really I think you were scoping out the competition and got distracted by my charm. I certainly did with you, at least.” I giggle

“Oh shush, you... You said the shop was originally my aunt’s, didn’t she see you at all? Did I ever say anything?”

“You didn’t of course, you have always been the same friendly flirt. Honestly, I think we were both excited to find another student of magic around our age. Even your aunt didn’t say much. She never did.” he looks to his tea with a sad smile. 

“Why? What was wrong with her?” I say through a slow sip.

“I don’t think you ever told me the full story, but there was certainly talk around town. When you came to Vesuvia, it was to take care of your aunt. She was becoming increasingly sickly and could barely manage the shop anymore. In exchange she promised she would teach you everything she knew about magic, when she was up to it of course. You didn’t mind though, you always said you were excited just to live here. You guys were very close, but I digress. She saw me enough from the bedroom window, always with a stern look and intense gaze just like yours. I always thought it was intimidation or that she was sizing me up. Now that I think about it though, she was just waiting.”

“For what?”

“One of us to make the first move, I guess” he laughs. 

“I guess I can relate, I’m waiting to hear how our first meeting went. All this build-up and you’re starting to sound like Julian.” 

Asra playfully rolls his eyes smearing a hand over his face “Oh please, that’s the last thing I want. Don’t worry, though, I’m almost there.”

“Okay..”

“So anyways, your aunt did scare me off just a bit. I thought she was going to tell you something- she didn’t of course. But I still made it a point to rotate my selling grounds, going to different markets every other day. On top of that I even sort of demoted myself to something like a ‘door to door snake venom salesman’. What a sight I must’ve been, huh? A disheveled, gaunt, 17 year old kid and his snake selling crude twig charms and sigils for some coins to buy the morning’s bread- or sometimes yesterday’s. It was rotton work to put on that ‘mysterious vagabond’ act for hours everyday but it brought food to the hut so it didn’t matter. 

“One fall it was incredibly stormy, just like this kind of weather except it wasn’t even letting up. I mean, it went on for days. Of course no one wanted to stick around the markets long enough to buy whatever I was selling. And I couldn’t go back empty handed so I just wandered around the city all day, going up and pitching to anyone who bothered to answer. Still, no one bought anything. I was tired, hungry, cold, soggy, wet, hurting, you name it! I felt so defeated and I knew Faust wasn’t exactly comfortable at the time. It was already too dark and still pouring buckets to try and make it back to the forrest on my own so I knew I was going to stay the night on the streets again. I was starting to walk back to the borders of the city, that way I wouldn’t be too far from the forrest. But I stopped in my tracks when I saw the shop. I though ‘maybe this one, maybe they’ll be willing to buy something, or at least maybe I can stall enough to get out of the damn rain for a while’ but when I tried the door, it was locked. Even after I knocked, too. That did me in, I felt so silly and alone. At one point I even slumped to the ground against the door. Knees to my chest and arms encircled tight as I tried to keep me and Faust warm. I probably looked pretty pathetic but I didn’t know what else to do.” His voice begins to quicken pace as he remebers the desperation of the situation. I put my cup down and take his hand in both of mine.

“Oh, my love, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s okay, it gets better. After a few minutes of moping while watching the rain. Faust noticed the window we were sitting under was open and-”

“Asra Alnazar! You broke into my shop!?!” I cry accusingly.

“No! It was Faust! Yes, you Faust! As soon as she saw the window was open she cried ‘warm for Asra!’ and slithered in too fast before I could catch her” Faust hisses at the snitching before recoiling herself tighter to face the wall.

I start to giggle and pet her gently.”Oh Fausty, that is absolutely something you would think of. No wonder you and julian got along so well.” She slithers out of the bowl and closer to me to spite Asra, who can’t help but smile and chuckle.

“I tried to stop her, Laura, I really did. But she had already made her way to the ground and was drying or warming herself up on one of the rugs. I called and called for her in an intense whisper but to no avail. You know how she gets. I even tried to levitate her back but she was too determined and I was too weak to focus. So I- I did go through the window. BUT ONLY TO GET FAUST! I swear.

“And I mean, you’ve seen me. I’m not like Muriel or Ilya but when I was younger I was pretty lanky so getting in was actually really hard.” 

“You fell on your face didn’t you?” I prompt dryly

“Hahaha, yeah I actually did and it hurt too. I fell on a bag of sharp twigs and wood floor for magician’s sake!” He woundedly admits.

“Of course as soon as all this happend, We heard footsteps running down the stairs. I jumped up and grabbed Faust as we tried to unlock the door but I was panicking too much to undo the spell. That’s when we whipped our heads around and saw you glaring wided-eyed from across the room with a ball of glowing energy in each hand. I swear I have never been more scared in my entire life. I don’t think I’ve seen you more scared or surprised in both of your lives. As soon as you saw Faust though, you relaxed a bit and you remembered us from the market.”

“Did I say anything?”

“Yeah, the first things you said were ‘Who the hell are you?!’ and then when you saw Faust slither out of my arms again and to your feet you picked her up and said ‘Oh, hello! it’s just you guys’ And well from there the rest is history.”

“What do you mean ‘the rest is history’ ? What else happened?! What kind of a story teller are you?” I tease.

“I mean you asked what I was doing and I explained the whole situation, we laughed and I offered to leave but before I did you grabbed my sleeve and stopped me. You told me that I was not allowed to go back out there until I was full dry, I had some tea and rest, or the rain stopped. You gave me, fresh shirts to wear that you said belonged to your aunt, but they fit decent. Then you made us some tea and let faust warm up by the stove. We ended up talking practically all night, about ourselves, magic, Vesuvia. and-”

I lean over the kitchen table, to kiss him. Slowly and lovingly with one hand supporting his chin. The warmth and spiciness of the tea lingering between us as we pull away. “And the rest is history.” I smile before we lean into each other again.

[diddlesanddoodles]

Dumpling ch. 17

(author’s notes: I’M NOT DEAD!)

Keral sent along his message to Hev the blacksmith informing him of Nenani’s need for a new marker with a servant who came to replenish the wine decanter and deliver a few papers and notes to Maevis. Once a fresh post of tea had been brewed and Keral’s wine glass filled, they got to work.

In no time at all, the number of books being taken down from the shelves were taking over the table and along with them came seemingly endless rolls of parchment upon which Maevis furiously scribbled as many notes and citations as his quill and ink could produce. Keral, for his role, thumbed through various books and whenever he came upon something, he slipped a small piece of parchment in the page and sat it before the magician. The library had taken on an air of solemnity.  

However, as was his nature, Jae did not much care for the weight of the room and did his best to keep the mood from sinking any further.  

“So a smoke mage,” he wondered aloud to to one in particular, lounging against a stack of books. “What makes a smoke mage so dangerous? Because by the name alone, I think the fellow may have drawn the short end of the magic stick.”

“No mage is inherently dangerous,” Barnaby said. “But we do not know this mage’s intentions and what we do know is that they are violent and not above meaningless killing.”  

He was on his second cup of tea and comfortably seated on a cushion close to where Maevis was working. After trying to aide in the research himself and suffering a slight dizzy spell, Maevis all but demanded that the old archivist sit and rest.  

“It won’t do to tire yourself, my friend,” the magician had told the human gently in an attempt to mask his worry. “Best rest a while.”

“I am fine,” Barnaby replied with a disregarding wave, but he still lowered himself onto the cushion nonetheless. “Just a bit over excited, mind you. I’ll be right as rain in a bit.”

“Not very nice t’be worryin’ old Meeves now,” Keral added. “He already frets over ya like a hen. Won’t be helpin’ ‘im much to be actin’ fragile, eh? Let us do the heavy liftin’ and if ya remember anything, we’ll write it down.”

Barnaby huffed mildly at being accused of acting fragile, but stayed put and did not refuse Jae when he handed him his tea. Nenani watched with confusion as the two giants worked and fussed and Jae fidgeted. She knew very little of magic and prior to meeting Maevis, she had never seen it used.  

“What’s a mage?” she asked.  

All at once, she became the focus of the room and she felt her face flush. Perhaps it had been a silly question.  

“Well,” Maevis began thoughtfully. “A mage is a person who uses magic.”

“Like the kind of magic you do?” she asked.  

“Not exactly,” he replied patiently. “I learned magic from studying it in books and from other magicians. A mage does not learn magic, they are born with it. Sometimes they are called Elementals, because a mage’s magic often times coincides with a particular element.”

“Like fire?” she asked. “Fire mages?”  

“Correct,” Maevis replied. “Though it is also important to note that while all Elementals are considered mages, not all mages are Elementals.”

Nenani made a face. “I...I don’t...huh?”

Keral laughed at her as he sat a book down. “Elementals are human, but one of us big folk could be a mage. We just wouldn’t be called an Elemental. Like that Bertol fellow.”

Now it was Maevis’s turn to make a face and Keral released a loud bark of a laugh.

“Oh, come now,” Keral replied. “Don’t y’know Bertol is the greatest prophet who ever lived?”

“Bertol the bumbling buffoon,” Maevis replied dryly, “Is as much a prophet as that tea pot over there and not nearly so useful. And only by the skin of his teeth does he have any right to claim himself a mage.”

Keral grinned, laughing. “Don’t care fer his ramblings either then? Hm. Neither does the King.”

“I would not blame King Warren if he should one day decide to place that idiot in the stockades and conveniently forget him.”  

“Who is Bertol?” Nenani asked, glancing between the two giants, feeling more confused than ever. Mages, Elementals, and now prophets?  

“Bertol is a Vhasshallan mage,” Maevis replied sourly. “He is thought by many in Vhasshal to hold the gift of foresight. That he can see the future and make predictions based upon his visions. He was the one responsible for the Gold prophecy.”

“Gold…?” she asked, trailing off.

“It’s why Warren’s called the Gold King,” Jae added before biting into a biscuit.  

Seeing her confusion, Keral reached for a book sitting on the edge of the table, a smallish black volume with gold lettering, and he flipped it open and began to read. His voice was even and mellow, but the words that sprouted from his lips brought with them a sickening sensation of her guts being pulled and ice dripping down her spine.

“The river runs uphill to the dying songs of the fall of fools and Kings that tear flesh from bone and the crown from the mountain. Water runs red with fire and shall rise when the old blood runs new. The flesh taken will be paid in blood and the dead walls will rise with gold.”

He closed the book with a snap and tilted his head down to regard Nenani with an open expression, but froze, brows drawing together, and he bent down. “Ya alright there lass? Yer a bit pale.”

In depths of her memory, she could feel the cool stone of the catacomb and see the empty hollows that once held eyes of those that had once been a person. Those voices chanting. Her dreams that played out in her mind every night. The smell of smoke, the screams of men dying as the fishing boats burned. A man in black, his face obscured by the skull of a stag. Her Uncle calling to her as he died.

And those words…

“...shall rise when the old blood runs new.”

She felt thick fingers wrap around her shoulders and Kerals voice broke through the fog of her mind. Abruptly she broke free and she was no longer within herself but back at the library. The scent of smoke and ash replaced by that of parchment and ink and tea. And Keral’s body odor.  

She met his eyes and was surprised to find her cheeks wet. “I...I don’t know...”

“Oi now, don’t go lettin’ them words scare ya. Yer alright,” he told her quietly. “Nothin’ to be upset about. They’re just words, remember. Besides, it already came to pass. Nothin’ to fear, eh?”

Barnaby and Jae were both studying her with a mixture of expressions from worried to bewildered. Now aware that everyone was intently focusing in on her, Nenani flushed and scrubbed at her cheeks in slight embankment. “Sorry. I’m fine.”

“You’ve had quite a day,” Maevis said, an air of suggestion in his tone. With a gloved hand, he waved behind towards the door just beyond the curtain. “Would you like to have a rest?”

“Best thing t’do would get ya back to th’ kitchens,” Keral added as he rubbed his chin in contemplation. “But if ya showed up without a marker, Farris would have a right apoplexy.”

“Yeah, Hev’s work is good,” said Jae. “But metal working takes time. And it’ll take most of the afternoon for Connor to do the detail work.”  

Nenani shook her head. “I’m fine. I don’t need to rest. That poem, er – prophecy. I’ve heard it before, but I didn’t know it was a prophecy.”  

Maevis expression of concern shifted into mild disdain. “Yes, well. I wouldn’t put much weight nor worry to those words. The one responsible for that dribble has as much foresight as a week old turnip.”

“First a tea pot and now he’s a turnip,” Jae sniggered. “So which one is he?”

“What has that poor old buggar done to earn your ire, Meeves,” Keral asked. “Didn’t think you had it in ya t’hold a grudge. Even against someone deserving of it.”  

Maevis took a moment to take a long and slow breath, placing his folded hands atop the table, and seemed to collect himself.

“Anyone can string together phrases with grandiose words so vague as to be perfectly useless,” Maevis replied, his irritation smoothed over, but still there. “There are many who take themselves for grand prophets and mostly their predictions fall to deaf ears. Bertol has managed to convince people his words are true and by the God’s graces, I haven’t the foggiest inclination as to why they would listen to him, of all people.”

“He had good timing,” Keral offered in response. “Folks were looking for something to cling to. They'll cling to hope if they smell it. Makes ‘em desperate.”

“My meaning, precisely, Keral! Words have power when people make it so. Bertol’s words were hallow and meaningless. Just enough vague enough for opportunistic fiends to take advantage. They see themselves in his words and are convinced that they’re meant to grander things. Bertol’s words are reckless. And therefore, dangerous.”

…………………………………………….

“Tell me master Barnabas,” Keral said with surprise formality. He sat in the same chair, but his glass of wine had been replaced by a cup of tea by Maevis after the ranger had all but drained the pitcher all on his own. Beside him stood a small stack of books. Maevis held his own cup and nursed it. Beside him sat a much more impressive amass of books and tomes.

They had paused their research for a break and Barnaby was looking over the slate he had given to Nenani to draw on, showing her how to hold the chalk and how to use the lines to create an image. Keral had been watching them with an enigmatic expression, though Nenani tried not to let it bother her. Keral had managed to subvert her expectations of what kind of a person he was, but there were occasions she had caught glimpses of something else.

Something that she could not help but feel nervous about. But no one else seemed at all concerned, so Nenani decided she was just being silly.

At hearing his name, Barnaby looked to Keral inquisitively and the ranger continued. “How common was red hair in Silvaara?”

The question was odd. Odd enough to catch the room by surprise and then as a consequence, all eyes turned to Nenani. The only one of them with red hair.  

Feeling the weight of their curious eyes, she shrank away from their peering gazes. “What?”

Barnaby turned back to Keral, perplexed. “Not too common. Black or brown is more common, such as young master Jae. I myself had brown hair. When I was young. And had hair. Why?”

“What about the highborns?” Keral asked. “Nobles and the like?”  

Barnaby’s eyed widened as understanding struck him. “Oh. Well, red was much more common. A genetic consequence of the blood purity obsession that took over the last decades. Though it was wildly held as truth that those with red hair were born of fire and were more likely to hold the Flower’s blessing.”

Jae watched with mild curiosity and then laughed, eyeing Keral skeptically. “What? You think Nenani’ might be a long lost highborn?”

Keral shrugged. “I get curious. The Hill tribes are all brown and black haired save for the last one Farris picked up from Dornbey. Poor sod had quite the reception when I delivered ‘im to Gregis. It was all m’lord this and m’lord that. Practically swarmed th’fellow. He was already outta his head. Poor bastard.”

“Well,” Barnaby continued, glancing at Nenani. “That was one subject I had hoped to broach with you dear. As Jae may have explained, I am an archivist and I write histories. Whenever a human comes to live here on castle grounds I write down their histories. To persevere what little of Silvaara remains. And after your first visit and all that transpired, I had quite forgotten to ask you about who your parents were as I did not want to upset you any further. And Keral has made a fine point. Your hair color tells me I may be able to find your family history if you can tell me your family name.”

“Family name?” Nenani asked, thinking back. “I don’t think we have one...”

“Oh, nonsense,” Barnaby replied. “Everyone has a family name. We’ll start with your father, then. What was his name? Many families passed down names to the first born sons. I might be able to trace you to a particular family.”

“That’s how I got my name.” Jae added in.

“Hayron,” Nenani said. “Papa’s name was Hayron.”  

Barnaby, who had taken up a quill and spare parchment to take notes, paused and he peeked over the top of the parchment with raised eyebrows. “Hayron, you said?”

Nenani nodded. “Yes. My Uncle’s name was Halden.”  

He placed the the quill and parchment on his lap and seemed to consider her for a moment as though seeking something in her face. After a long moment, he asked “And you’re mother?”

His tone was quiet and almost...seeking?

“Oira.”  

The longing look in his eyes dissipated and he nodded. Almost sadly, as though he was disappointed in her answer. “Oira. Hm. I do not know that name. But I do remember Haryon.”  

Nenani blinked. “Huh? You knew Papa?”

“And Halden in some respects, though I cannot recall ever speaking to him very much. He took his duties quite seriously, if I’m remembering correctly. They were junior members of the Thorn Guard.”

“Yes!” Nenani exclaimed excitedly. “He told he once that he was in the Thorn Guard. But I don’t know what that is.”

“Oh, whoa. Thorn guards?” She heard Jae whistle and glanced back at him to find her fellow human grinning. Behind him, Keral was expressionless, but his eyes were sharp and focused and she knew his interest had been peaked.  

“Hayron is an old name that is fairly common among the Thorn Guard families. However, I only knew one Hayron with a brother named Halden. They were the sons of Captain Hayier.”

Nenani was quiet a moment. “I remember his sword. It had thrones on it. The one they think killed him.”

Barnaby’s eyes turned sad and empathetic and he sighed. “Your father was a good man. Dedicated to his duty and family. All sons of Thorn Guards were under immense pressure to perform and live up to expectations. Competition for high ranks was fierce and even being the son of the captain was not a guarantee of a rank. He earned his mark. As did his brother. I am sorry to know that fate was not so kind to him in the end.”  

“So would that make her a Daelg?” Keral asked suddenly. “Or was it Daeleg? I was never much for studying all them Silvaaran Houses.”  

“You had it correct, sir. It is Daelg. Unless there was another pair of brothers named Hayron and Halden in the Thorn Guard,” the archivist replied with a grin. “I would be most confident that you’re family name is Daelg.”  

The name did not stir any memories and it felt foreign and odd. However, she was not nearly as curious in regards to the name as the revelation that Barnaby had known her father. She had questions now. So many questions. But mostly, she just wanted to know him more. It seemed forever ago that he died. A whole world away in another time. Another life even.  

“So, she is highborn?” Jae asked, glancing between Barnaby and Nenani. “I don’t have to start calling her m’lady do I?”

Keral snorted into his drink and turned away to cough into his elbow.  

“No, the Thorn Guards were not nobility,” Barnaby replied, amused. “They were in a caste all their own. Above merchants and below Nobles. Once upon a time, marriage between them and highborns was permitted, but it was almost always for a financial gain or the belief that the two would produce exceptional progeny. However it fell out of favor decades prior to the war and in someways expressly forbidden in the name of blood purity. The King and therefore his court were all obsessed with the idea of pure blood. The more pure the line, the higher chance that they would produce a mage of fire.”

“Fire Mages.” Keral added with a final and disdainful cough to clear the tea from his lungs. “Crazy bunch of inbreds.”  

“So,” Jae asked. “Speaking of Mages and all that. What exactly is a smoke mage, then? If that’s what you think might be skulking around the countryside killing Vhasshalans.”  

“It is an ancient variety of deviant magic. So rare, there does not seem to be any contemporary sources ever describing the existence of one,” Barnaby replied. “But when I was a lad, I was told that a smoke mage is a fire mage that sinned so greatly that the Gods stripped them of their blessing and their fire and leaving only the smoldering ruin of a person. Cursed to wander the world, creating chaos, and suffering in their wake.”

“Well,” Keral said, standing and stretching out his back. “Smoke mage or not, I’ll be needin’ more to work with than an old folk tale. I appreciate your help lads, but until we know more, the only thing to be done is to be out there scoutin’ and reportin’.”  

“You’re going back out?” Jae asked. “You just got back.”

“Not tonight. I’ll be with the boys organizing the routes first. First light tomorrow, perhaps,” Keral regarded the boy with a lopsided grin. “Why? D’ya miss me when I ain’t here to hold yer hand, lad?”

Jae glared at the giant. “No.”

“Yer welcome t’use my room when I’m out if ya be needin’ a place to hold up,” Keral said. “Beats sleepin’ in them moldy tunnels.”

Jae glowered, his cheeks flushed. “No thanks. Your room smells like armpits. Besides, I like the tunnels. You bastards can’t go in after me.”

“Young master Jae,” Barnaby snapped indignantly. “I cannot condone such language. Least of all when a young lady is present.”

“It always amazed me how that for a King’s ward,” Maevis observed with a suppressed grin. “Your decorum lessons never have seemed to find proper purchase.”  

“Warren does not keep me around to lick his boot,” Jae quipped with a shrug. “He’s got advisers and the court for that.”

Keral laughed. “Ah, well if ya changed yer mind about the room, the offer stands. Y’know the way in.”

The ranger gave his made his excuses and an apology to Maevis’s for leaving him with all the books to put away, but the magician wave him off.  

“Nonsense. You never put them back in their proper place when you do feel inclined to return them, so it matters not. I know you have your duties to perform and would hate to keep you from them. I will let you know if I find anything that might be of use.”  

With a grin and a wave, the ranger was gone.  

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 71

Purse, money, cards, keys..got all of that..Hair ok? Yeah..I swear this dress hugged me before..she stared at herself in the mirror and let her hands run down her hips, she had gotten so thin..sadness and pain had been her diet the last month or so..I'm not ready for this, for half of her life she had longed for this night, the opening of her exhibition and now..now she dreaded having to shake all those hands and her work being scrutinized. Just a few hours, nobody she knew was gonna be there anyway, Charles had only invited art dealers, a few art critics here and there, no big deal, right? Right! She grabbed her coat and hesitated at the door, looking around her apartment, gone were the paintings, Charles' men had come to collect the last items this morning, it was like Jared had left her apartment for good all over again. He was there now, hanging from the walls of the gallery, a 'capsule' collection of a time that was over for good, it was out of her hands now and it felt weird, what would she paint tomorrow? What was gonna be your inspiration? No, don't think about it, first this, one last time, one more night and then hopefully you're gonna turn the page, she bit her lip and slowly closed the door behind her. “How do I look?” she twirled in front of him, distracting him for a second from his mails, “nice” he forced himself to say something positive, “we don't have to stay too long there, do we? I just feel like partying and an art gallery isn't exactly the funkiest place to spend my friday night”. Sighing he got up from the bed “what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?” he straightened his tie, sharp suit, his hair pulled back in a long, wavy ponytail, why didn't he have the guts to go by himself? He needed someone to be there with him, even if it was a model/fuckbuddy whose cupsize was bigger than her brain, a thousand times he'd asked himself what had gotten into him to insist to be on that guestlist, it was masochism in its' purest form but his curiosity was bigger than his fear. On the other side of the city, the cardoor was held open for her “Good evening, Miss De Robiano” he greeted her, “Good evening, Derek” she returned his smile, “you're early” he guided her over the red carpet, “is that code for 'nobody bothered to come'?” she looked at him with worried eyes. “Oh no, of course not” Derek tried to reassure her, “Harper!” Charles welcomed her with his arms wide open, his eyes twinkling as he pulled her in for a warm hug, the last couple of days he had been her nemesis and her closest friend, “hello Charles..wait” she stopped him as he released her and took her hand to drag her inside the gallery “before we go in..I don't remember if I told you already how grateful I am..”. Charles kissed her forehead “I'm the one who's grateful..this is one of the most emotional exhibitions I've ever done, so much power hanging on the walls..anyway, it's only just begun, let's go see what people really think”.

Car after car started rolling up in front of the gallery, one with Jared in it who buttoned up his jacket as he got out, surprised to see a couple of paps hovering in front of the entrance, goddammit, he was supposed to be incognito here, not wanting to ruin her big night, he just wanted to see for himself what Charles had been raving about. He kept his head down even if the paps recognized him and tried to get his attention as he walked inside where he was quickly guided to the balcony that gave a great view on the actual hall. “Oh..my..god..” he murmured as he feasted his eyes on the paintings below, brilliant, just brilliant..is that? That's me..oh sweet jesus, he had to stop the urge to run downstairs and check them up close. He walked to the other side of the balcony but stopped in his tracks when the centerpiece caught his attention, there it was in all it's painful glory, 3 metres high and wide..the painting of her parents on a throne, their mouths stitched shut, bloody hearts ripped out and dangling on their chest..wow!. He had seen her work on it and had even helped her with it for a few hours, but seeing it hang there in all its magnificent glory, simply took his breath away. Everyone seemed too engrossed in her paintings to be paying attention to her, which was exactly how she had dreamed it to be, she wanted honest opinions and the best way to do that was to eavesdrop. “Ok, I'm gonna give it to you straight “ Charles walked up to her “17 are already sold, that's almost half of them sold in an hour” jittering with excitement, but she just stared at him in disbelief “what? But..?” was all she managed to say. “I know! And I still have to do the openingsspeech” he giggled. “Hello Harper” the voice that doomed up behind her made her blood curdle, oh no, nonono, ever so slowly she turned around “mama” to look right into their eyes “..papa”. Up on the balcony Jared swallowed hard, oh my god..who had invited her parents? Obviously not her because she looked like a scared little cat all of a sudden.

”Who invited you?” her voice was so cold, “oh don't worry, we're not staying, your father has to give a speech at the UN..one of our friends informed him of our daughter's big night” her mother calmly said with that icecold poise of her. “I'm sorry, did you say 'daughter'? Last thing I remember is that you took my title away and cut me off financially, you basically disowned me” don't pick a fight, Harper, not here, not now. “Mr. McVey, good evening, how are you?” his father ignored her completely and reached for Charles hand, “I'm well, Sir..thank you” he shook her father's hand, wait, Charles invited her parents? All her trust and her gratitude towards him was washed away in a split second. “Can I show you around” Charles tried to defuse the tense situation, “lead the way” a sarcastic smile viciously curled around her father's mouth while he grabbed his wife's hand, leaving their child cursing under her breath. Jared watched breathlessly, her shoulders were completely cramped up from holding in all that anger and fury and he knew how lonely she must feel right now, she would rather die than admit it but he knew that all she really wanted and needed was the love and respect of her parents. All the pieces of the puzzle finally fell together for him, for the first time he could  really see and feel her loneliness, it was heartbreaking to realize that they had to become ex-partners to truly see the harsh reality. Harper couldn't take it anymore and downed her glass in one go, don't go over there, don't make a scene..she had to fight the urge to simply walk out of here, just go smoke a cigarette, clear your head.. “SPORCO BASTARDO” her father's curse thundered through the gallery shutting up every conversation. Turning around she saw her father crash to the floor like it was all happening in slow motion, her brain froze for a second like she was living a dream but then the high pitched scream of her mother shot her back to action and she ran towards her parents. “An ambulance” she breathed at Charles who had his phone to his ear in a split second but when she kneeled to check on her father, her mother pushed and kicked her and started banging her fist on her head. “Don't you dare touch him, you killed him, you KILLED HIM” her mother's hysterical screams combined with the rain of punches had her close her eyes hoping to wake up from this nightmare.

Jared felt his breath hitch in his throat watching the drama unfold but on instinct he ran downstairs and pushed through the crowd, “Mrs. De Robiano, stop! STOP IT!” he raised his voice as his arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her back to stop her from beating up her kid. Despite the fact that she was a petite lady he could barely pull her away from Harper, the only thing that interrupted her rage and brought her back to her senses was the arrival of the paramedics that pushed through the crowd to help her husband. “Harper? Are you ok?” ok, this really was a nightmare, this couldn't be real, she was imagining things but then the soft touch of his hand made her eyes flutter open again, looking straight into Jared's eyes. The shock of seeing him was paused by a paramedic leaning over her to check if she was alright, “I'm fine..” she lied as she grabbed his hand to help her get back on her feet. “It's all my daughter's fault, she made this..this..gastly painting” her mother pointed at the centerpiece painting of them “she has her heart set on killing us, she's..pure..EVIL” still hysterically screeching at the paramedics who were loading her father onto a stretcher. “Let's go” they rushed the stretcher through the gallery, her mother teetering after them in her high heels, Harper felt like she was glued to the floor, there was not a single pair of eyes in the room that wasn't dismissively staring at her. “Excuse me” she mumbled as she couldn't do anything else but follow the paramedics, this was all her own fault, every single bit of a blame that could be put on her was justified. “What hospital are you taking him to?” Charles came walking up straight to the paramedics and quickly gestured at Derek “get her a cab right now”, and before she could even say or do something she was taken outside, put in a cab with the address of the hospital all by herself, on her big night that had exploded into a nightmare, gone was her career and probably gone was her father and it was all by her own doing. The cab made a turn and started following the blue lights in front of it, and all Jared could see was his ex sitting there all alone, her face buried in her hands, and that was the second time tonight he felt his heart break for her, all that beauty and all that brain and still the loneliest little girl in the world.

”I'm sorry, you'll have to wait here” a nurse stopped her as the ambulance arrived at the ER, “but I'm his daughter” Harper tried to reason with her, “and still we have strict orders not to let you in, only your mother is allowed in at the moment, if you want you can wait right here, a doctor will be with you shortly to give you all the details” the nurse pointed at a tiny cubicle with a chair. Meekly she did as she was told and sat there shivering in her evening gown, the adrenalin and the fear of seeing her parents..and all the drama started to manifest itself in tears and shaking hands that tried to wipe them away as fast as they fell. Why did they even show up tonight? She wasn't sure but Charles must have invited them..Jared..had she imagined it all or had he really been there? Was Charles on a mission to destroy her? Completely lost in her thoughts and her tears, she didn't notice the doctor who made his presence know with a soft cough “Miss De Robiano?”, her head shot up, “your father has suffered a major heart attack, his condition is critical, we're doing everything within our power to save him”. She swallowed hard “Oh..is there any way I can see him? And how's my mother?” and stood up with a panic “you cannot see him, I'm sorry..you will have to leave, the Countess insists on it, she said her children will all be here shortly”, what?? her children? “But I'm one of her children..” Harper protested. “I'm sorry, Miss..you will have to leave the premises”. It was just blow after blow, she came all the way out here for nothing? Only to be blamed for everything, “ok” was all she could say, she took a big breath and with the heaviest of heart and feet, she started walking to the exit. The cold, sharp wind hit her hard, she had no coat so she crossed her arms over chest and started rubbing her upper arms, if only she could rub the cold away that had her heart in a choking grip, an unstoppable stream of tears ran down her cheeks, I don't know what to do. Through the blur of her tears she could see a man walking up to her, then stop in his tracks, hands in the pockets of his pants he was staring at her..who?..”Harper?” him calling her name made her cry even harder. Jared's heart broke again seeing her standing there completely helpless and bewildered so he closed the distance between them and pushed himself against her, her arms folded around him under his jacket crying her heart out against his chest. “Let's go home” he whispered and kissed the top of her head “you're coming to LA with me”.

[allie1804-fan]

Connecticut (Chapter 13)

Warnings Smut

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 Photo shoots and interviews filled the beginning of Keanu’s week and then he got the call to say some re-shoots were necessary on “The day the Earth Stood Still” back in Vancouver. He would have to leave the following week for 2 weeks. He called Grace and asked if they might be able to spend some of the weekend alone together if Faith would look after Hannah again.  Everything was agreed and Grace arrived at his place late on Saturday afternoon.

Grace dropped her overnight bag to the floor and stepped into his arms.  

 “Man are you a sight for sore eyes, I’ve missed you!” he said

 “I missed you too – I thought I’d see more not less of you once we were back in LA”

 “I know, I’m sorry, it’s just been a bit of a crazy week for me”

Truth was, he had had enough free time to see her on a couple of nights but he’d needed time to clear his head after her revelations.  He was calmer now and seeing her again reminded him how much he really did love her.

“Come ‘ere. Let me show you how much I missed you” He took her hand and led her to his bedroom.

They started to kiss and were soon aroused and tearing at each other’s clothes. Keanu lifted Grace off the floor and she wrapped her legs around his hips as he pressed her forcefully against the wall grinding his cock against her jeans.

“I can’t wait any more” he groaned and pulled away to rid himself of his clothes. She did the same and he pushed her down on the bed.

“Later, we’ll go slow, OK? I just have to have you now!”

He straddled her and started to play with her breasts, teasing them till her nipples stood erect and Grace was writhing underneath him, pleading him to enter her with her eyes.

He sank into her slowly, groaning loudly then staying completely still, breathing in and out through his nose once he was all the way in.

“You OK?”

“Yeah! Just pacing myself – you reduce my staying power to that of a 15 year old boy you know that?”

He started to move then, all the while murmuring to Grace about how hot and wet and tight she felt to him.

Gradually what had begun as a desire to just fuck her turned into making love as he alternated his pace and the depth of his strokes and the force of his kisses. Grace’s cries were already beginning their tell tale rise in pitch as she clawed at his back pulling him to her. As they rode towards their release, he looked down into her beautiful face and wondered briefly if he’d ever know the joy of making love to her with the chance of making a baby.  

The thought was obliterated as the white flash of orgasm took over his brain and hers and they fell into each other’s arms panting.

“Wow! that was intense”

“Mmmm” she replied drowsily, stroking his face, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too!” he murmured back, kissing her neck.

They dosed for a while then got up and decided on ordering in some Thai food for dinner rather than going out.  After their meal they sat by the lap pool holding hands and dangling their feet in the water looking out at the lights of the city below.

“So have you had a chance to think any more …….. about us ever having a baby together?”

“God, Keanu, I’ve thought about little else this week if I’m honest with you.”

“And?”

“And …….. I still don’t know if it’s the right thing for us to do. I mean when I think about our chances, I can see all these different scenarios. Only one ends happily and all the rest………….. she broke off looking into his eyes pleading with him to understand.

“They end with more dead babies or both of us at each other’s throats because I can’t conceive. It’s such a huge thing. I don’t know if I can take the pressure… to make your dream come true”

“Would it have to be just my dream, wouldn’t you want my child too as much as I want yours?” he said clearly hurt.

“God I’m sorry, I didn’t mean in that way it’s just I’ve been through all this before. I would love to have a child with you, I’m just trying to weigh it all up rationally as well. The stress of trying for a baby can be huge Keanu you know?”

“But we’d be in it together, supporting each other. And the cold hard fact is, you fell for Hannah without really trying”

“I know, but there are no guarantees that could happen again, it could get rough you know. And what if you’re away filming when it’s time – what are you going to do, fly home for each ovulation?”

“You’re making trouble for us where there doesn’t have to be”

“No, you’re just not listening.  It’s like this mother fucking rollercoaster that you get on and then you realise it’s driving you crazy but somehow you can’t get off.” 

Keanu could see Grace was working herself up into a frenzy now. He chose not to argue back any more.

“And it’s not just me you’re asking to go through this. You have to ask yourself if you want to take that chance of losing another precious child. I don’t want to be the one that does that to you. And what about Hannah, she’d be sucked into all this too however hard we try to protect her. I have to think about her welfare Keanu. She’s a real child with feelings not just the dream of a child”

Her words sliced through him.

“And that’s what you’re asking me to give up Grace, the dream of my own child” he said, eyes filled with tears at the course their conversation had taken.

He sighed and stood up.

“Let’s just drop it, you’re upset. I… I’m going to go to bed”

Grace put her head in her hands and wept. Keanu walked back into the house leaving her alone on the terrace.

Keanu lay on his bed, reeling still from how the conversation had turned so sour. He squeezed his eyes trying and failing to stop the tears. He knew Grace was scared but he didn’t understand why she seemed to have so little faith in the chance of a good outcome. And why had she made that last comment about Hannah being a real child.  Was she trying to push him away?

Two hours ago he’d been in love. Sure of himself and her. Now he was confused and wondering at the choice he felt she was asking him to make  - a choice between her and his dream of fatherhood.

Back outside, Grace, was exhausted from crying, though finally dry eyed.  She barely knew where all the angst that that had poured out of her came from. It has been so long since she’d been actually lived through it that the emotions had been buried deep within for a long time.  If he knew what it was like, she thought bitterly, he wouldn’t ask her to do it again.  Maybe he should just move on to a younger model, someone who wasn’t damaged goods like her. She made her decision. There was nothing left to say right now. She went to the hall, picked up her bag, let herself out and drove home.

Keanu heard her go.  He almost chased after her but thought better of it. They should cool off. Maybe his trip to Vancouver was the breathing space they needed.

Keanu almost left town without contacting Grace at all, not really knowing what to say, or what he wanted to achieve by saying anything. After all, she knew where he was going and for how long. In the end though his good manners won out and he wrote her a note. A real letter was better, he figured than e mails or sms messages. He kept it short and he was honest when he said he was sorry she was upset. He didn’t mention his own hurt feelings though they would be clear to anyone reading it by the absence of any affectionate sign off.

Grace

I don’t really know what to say about last night. I’m just sorry you were so upset. I’ll be out of town for a couple of weeks at least. Maybe some distance will help us both clear our heads.  I’ll call when I get back.

K

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[long-bodyswap]

Fantasy Come True

by Curious

I’ve always had a crush on Ryan’s dad, Will; getting tongue-tied, stuttering, and unable to look him in the eyes for too long without blushing. He was strong, handsome, and always so kind. Even being patient waiting for me to murmur out my response to his questions without rushing me, he would just smile and continue on the conversation. I admired him, and without even realizing it, I began to copy his mannerisms; from the way he walked, to the way he styled his hair, and even how he dressed! I mean, I’m only 17, and I know his dad doesn’t look at me like that, but I still couldn’t stop my heart’s frantic beating every time I saw him. “Hey Ian, you seen Ryan around?” his dad asked of me (I was walking around town, hovering the usual spots). “N-n-no. Er, I don’t think.. so” Ugh! Why am I so awkward? I’ve been friends with Ryan for years, and spoken with his dad multiple times during our friendship! So, why was this so hard…? He smiled and my heart stopped, “You wanna ride a long?” I knew he meant while he searched for Ryan. I wanted to, but I knew I would probably just sit there awkwardly, rigid, and unable to have a conversation without being awkward… “uh…” he waved his hand, “come on, I can give you a ride home after.” “Oh, uh, okay. Then, s-s-sure!” I smiled, he always knew how to make everyone feel included and not awkward. “What’d you do today, sport?” Crap, I wanted to respond but I didn’t want to talk too long. “Oh uh… you know… just school and wander around.” I stopped, then realized I should probably ask him too. “and y-“ “yeah I just- oh sorry please continue I didn’t mean to interrupt.” He took a brief moment to take his eyes off the road and look over at me. Ah… my face is burning up , “Oh uh… I was just going to ask what you had done today.” I awkwardly laughed a bit afterwards. “Ah, well I just…” I kind of zoned out as he talked about his day at the office, he was a lawyer and he was telling me about his multiple cases he was working on, but I was paying more attention to admire that strong, masculine, jaw. His hair… his smell. “Ah, here he is.” My thoughts interrupted as he pulled up to the sidewalk. Ryan was hanging out with some of our other friends at the park. Ryan finished talking with them and jogged over to the car (I moved to the back seat so Ryan could have the front). “Hey Dad, hey Ian.” We immediately started talking about the events at school, upcoming dances, who we were going to ask… assignments and stuff like that. I was a little sad my conversation with Will was already over. I caught his eyes in the reflection of the mirror a few times during my conversation with Ryan. I blushed slightly and then I continued speaking with Ryan, thinking of mine and Will’s eye-tag. We arrived at Ryan’s house and they invited me in for dinner, which after some slight resistance they convinced me to join… During dinner Will finally joined the conversation again, captivating my attention with his suave voice, and natural confidence… He had changed into some more casual clothes, so I was able to admire his arms while he wasn’t looking… Ryan said something and we all laughed and I just admired his beautiful smile… Before I knew it dinner was over and Will was ready to drive me back to my house (Ryan had a lot of homework so he stayed back to do homework). We were driving, and I lived a ways out of town, so we sat in silence for a bit before I looked over and he caught me staring at him; he smiled and flexed his muscle, allowing me a show, I knew he was just teasing, because this was just like his flirtatious-humor. I felt a slight pressure in my pants and finally I just couldn’t hold it in anymore, after 10 years of knowing him, I decided I was going to express my feelings but as I took a breath to speak, he began talking. “You know, when I was in school I had this teacher, Mrs. Robinson. I had a thing for her, but you know, with the age difference I knew that nothing would happen, but I couldn’t help those feelings. I would stay after class and get extra help that she knew I didn’t need, but she would still help me through it anyways. It was nice, but sometimes, it’s just nice to have that dream crush… That one who you know you can’t have, and probably never will, but it still gives you that bit of hope; something to look forward to every day. I’ve had my fair share of ladies who I felt that way about but once you have them, that magic kind of disappears… So, sometimes it’s just best to leave things as they are.” I looked at the floor, crushed. I mean, I didn’t feel stupid, and that was such a great way to put it but… I… I… wanted to be with him still. I wanted to feel those arms around me, embracing me, protecting me. I wanted to hear his heartbeat while laying on him… He looked over at me, “Look… uh…” he sighed. “Okay, so I know what you’re going to say, and I can’t do anything about it but… I kind of have a way for you to work through this…” My heart began racing, and a thousand scenarios began playing through my mind… Just when the tension was at its thickest, he resumed his thought.” “When I had a crush on Jill, er… Mrs. Robinson. She knew this trick. To uh… switch our points of view.” He smirked to himself, thinking back on what seemed to be a fond memory. “Look me in the eyes.” He commanded. Slowly, I was able to raise my gaze into those beautiful brown eyes. Admiring his slight stubble after the not shaving since this morning, that jaw… his masculine face… He began murmuring something, in some language I didn’t understand… Were those even words? A tingling began to dance across my skin, from my head slowly down to my toes… “uh.. w-what’s happenin-“ I managed to slur out, slowly drifting into unconsciousness… “Nn….“ I felt weird… bigger. And I was sitting on the driver’s side of the car, not the passenger’s… “Ah, you finally woke up.” I heard a familiar voice say… “What?” I reached for my throat, that was not my voice! I looked over to see…me? I… he? Smiled. It was that kind smile that Will always gave me… “Well sport, you enjoying being William Roux so far?” “W-what?” I still wasn’t used to my new voice… “See, Mrs. Robinson knew I was jonezin’ for her, so she used this to uh…” he snickered to himself, “Shall I say… ‘get over her?’” “What do you mean?” How was this even possible? How was I… talking to myself? “Look at yourself.” My body was still smiling… I looked down and- I gasped…. I was wearing Will’s clothes… and my arms had a bit more hair on them than they should… and… these muscles… I ran a hand up to my chin and felt the smooth grain as I rubbed my cheek. Before a huge grin spread across Will’s- or should I say my face? This was all so confusing… I flexed a muscle and felt it with the other hand… Man, if this is a dream I don’t ever want to wake up… Without even realizing it, my pants started to tent. “Woah! Hold on there sport, you’ll have all the time you want to really uh,” (he winked at me) “get to know yourself. Ryan’s going to his mom’s later tonight, and I’ll send an email in to work to use some of my vacation days.” I blushed… he knew what I wanted to do with his body, and it’s not like it’s nothing he’s never seen before but still, it was kind of a private matter, wasn’t it? I didn’t know what to say… this was such an amazing gift and he was being so cool about it. He knew about my feelings and was still letting me borrow his body… This thought only seemed to instigate the monster in my pants as I felt it harden more than it already was… My eyes drifted and I could already see how huge it was… I couldn’t wait to get a moment alone… “I’ll call you tomorrow to check up on ya’, just uh… have fun and try not to get into too much trouble, alright?” He winked again and walked inside the house. It was still a little weird to see mysel- body have such confidence… That natural air that always floated about Will…” I waited for him to get inside the house before turning around, and driving back towards Will- my house… I was a little worried as I couldn’t stop staring at my new reflection in the mirror and took advantage of every second at the stop lights… After what seemed like forever, I finally arrived back to Will’s house.“Ryan?” I called out, I wanted to make sure I was alone before I started exploring… Last thing Ryan needed was to walk in on his dad going to town on himself. I smirked, that was kind of a funny thought because I could imagine his reaction but still, I didn’t want to scar the boy. It was also a little strange because I realized; I have a son now… No answer, perfect. But just to be safe I looked in every room of the house. Clear. I pretty much ran to Will’s room, already tearing off most of my clothes when I caught my new reflection… I decided to try a few poses, before continuing with my exploration…

That was all the inspiration I needed, seeing those muscles and such a strong masculine body there… my pants immediately tented and I could -not- wait to get my hands on it… I nearly tore the rest of his clothes off, not being used to my new strength… Finally, I was at the underwear and I paused… my wildest fantasies were about to come true… Although, inadvertently. I smirked and ripped those off too. Man, Will was really packin’… Just guessing I would say it had to be about 8-9 inches… I looked around the room and found some lotion, and immediately loaded my hands up before proceeding. I lay on his bed in front of the mirror and I slowly grasped my new tool. I moaned slightly; the muscles remembered how to please this body but the entire experience was new for me. I felt like I was just a passenger on this pleasure-ride as his muscle memory started slowly, moving up and down my long shaft before reaching with the other hand to fondle my sac… Watching my reflection do this was ecstasy… Man… My face twisted into one of pleasure looked really hot… I could hear his moans coming out of my throat… Biting my lip, I decided to reach around with one hand and after some slight resistance I managed to loosen my hole enough to allow a finger in, my moans were so loud now… but I couldn’t stop… I slowly pumped my finger in and out, feeling Will’s wonderful prostate give me pleasure, my new body began to shudder, a pressure began building in my loins, I could feel my anus tightening on my finger, my dick begging for release and finally I couldn’t hold it any longer and I shot load after wonderful load out of my new cock… Fuck that was amazing… I sighed contently as the last bit dribbled out onto my hand, which was holding my now softening cock. Now, time for the last fantasy to be fulfilled… I smirked at the mirror. “Bottoms up!” I laughed and raised my hand with cum on it, proposing a toast of some sort, before bringing it to my mouth and savoring the salty flavor… “Man… I didn’t know you tasted so delicious, Will.”

I said to my reflection,

I sighed, I sure hoped that Will didn’t mind me spending a few extra days in his body!

2

I allowed a low moan to escape my new throat, still basking in the afterglow of my little “expedition”. I chuckled to myself, “Ah man Will, you are one lucky guy – Well, I guess -I’m- a lucky guy now!” My expression shifted to a side-ways smile; this was still so weird to think that -I’m- Will now… “Nice to meet you, I’m William Roux- My name is William Roux.” I still got a slight head-rush as I tried several different variations out, proudly declaring to the world my new, temporary, identity. Of course a shower would come next, I mean… I still had some of that delicious sperm on my chest and it was a bit uncomfortable once the moment passed, and I didn’t want to make a mess out of Will’s home… Especially after he was kind enough to let it be -my- home for a couple days! I knew where the bathroom was but, I also knew that Will had a personal bathroom connected to his room, and I got excited because I’ve never been in it. I cocked a cheeky smile and walked towards the restroom, excited to shower this glorious body. Jerked from my thoughts, I realized that I had to use the bathroom, so I walked over to the toilet and let loose. I wasn’t sure if it was weird to use someone else’s cock for such a tedious task,; regardless, it was hard to urinate as my new cock began to stiffen… I smiled and after I finished I ran my borrowed hands along it; followed by a deep moan, and a spasm along my back… I bit my lip and gave it a few more jerks, still not used to this familiar yet new sensation… Remembering the task at hand I smiled, and walked towards the shower and started it, running my hand under the faucet to test the heat and adjust it to a comfortable level, while still running a hand along my chiseled chest and strong arms… After the water was at that “just right” temperature I finally stepped in, allowing the water to envelope my new body. A familiar sensation from down below popped up once again… I resisted and looked around for some of Will’s body wash and lathered up… “Ah…” This felt amazing… I didn’t even have to touch his cock to get this kind of pleasure… just running his hands along his god-like body gave me quite the rush and I swear I almost blew my load right then and there! I slide open the curtain and did few poses for the mirror… definitely worth it to see this incredible flesh wet, and lathered up, I made a few alluring faces and slowly ran my hand down from my chest to those abs… and finally to his cock and gave it a few slow jerks while watching the mirror, I bit my new lips once again and slowly increased in speed, allowing the other hand to dance wild across my skin, admiring those new muscles in all their glory… My cock began to tense up, and this time I was ready; I fought to keep from cumming and my abs began to tense and I winked at my reflection… Fuck this was hot! I couldn’t contain it anymore and I released the flow of pressure from my cock as shot after shot was released from my dick. I caught every drop of sperm and played with it a bit before eventually swallowing it again. Man, I don’t think I’d ever get tired of that! I sighed a sigh of happiness and watched myself in the mirror, watching that monster slowly soften, examining every little muscle that was involved in the slightest of movements… I finished my shower and toweled off and started to wrap it around my waist when I remembered that I’m home by myself and replaced the towel back up. No use covering this wonderful body… I began walking for the bedroom again and enjoyed the natural saunter I had started to slip in to… With a body like this, it’s no wonder that Will is so confident! I smiled to myself, Will was such a nice guy, and he’s never rude to anyone… I began to remember the reasons that I love him. He’s strong, intelligent, and very warm and welcoming. I lay on his bed, wrapping myself in a strong embrace; allowing my hands to feel those massive biceps; I sighed to myself and began to wonder what I should do tomorrow…

3

“Mm” I mumbled out; I’d forgotten to close the shades and the sun had already come to wake me up from a wonderful dream… I allowed my eyes to remain closed a bit longer; hoping that maybe my beautiful dream would come back but after a couple minutes… No luck and I reached a hand up to my face to rub my eye and sat up in bed. I yawned then ran a hand along my face, trying to fully wake up when I felt something rough brush my skin; I slowly ran a hand a long my cheek again and…. Well, there was facial hair, something I didn’t have! I looked around to see that I was still in Will’s room and I rushed to the bathroom to see my beautiful reflection. “Good mornin’ stud.” I said as I cocked a cheeky smile, winked, then raised my fingers to my lips, kissing them then pressing them to my reflection’s. It was still weird to think of Will’s lips as “mine”, or anything of his for that matter, I ran a hand slowly into my boxers to adjust myself, but mostly just to feel that glorious package again… I still felt a little weird just feeling Will up like this, but I mean… he pretty much gave me permission to do this kind of thing… I felt my little friend getting excited, so I decided to try a few poses in the mirror and smiled as I couldn’t resist playing with that wonderful cock anymore. ------------------------------------------------- After some play with my new toy, I walked towards the kitchen to find something to eat; I allowed a hand to run itself a long my new bulging muscles, enjoying the rush it gave me; how erotic it felt just to touch this demi-god-like body… Even the slightest sensation of touch felt vastly different inside of Will. I allowed a low moan from my new throat as the sensations were still a bit much. I looked around the kitchen and decided on some eggs when I caught sight of a picture of Ryan. Knowing him nearly my entire life, it was strange to know be one of the very beings who helped bring him into existence… I still couldn’t believe that I had a son now. I was snapped back to reality as I could smell my food starting to burn and I returned to the task at hand. After breakfast I looked around the house for something to do, since Will- I, didn’t have to go to work today. I passed by the garage door and I remembered Will kept some work-out equipment there in case he didn’t have time to get to the gym. “Well, good a time as any to try these bad boys out…” I mumbled quietly to myself and I threw on some of Will’s work-out clothes and reached for a set of weights and was surprised, yet very pleased at how much weight I could lift without even breaking a sweat! In my body, it would have taken both of my hands just to lift one of these, and even then, I would not have been able to hold it for long…. I smiled to no one in particular and did a few more reps before getting bored and deciding to do something else, as I could go to the gym later and work this glorious body out. I was more eager to interact with some of Will’s buds he talks about at the gym and see if they noticed any difference. A chiming of the clock interrupted my thoughts and I looked to the clock and realized it was still fairly early, so I decided to shower. I thought that since I had worked out a bit I should wash up so I don’t stink, but I really was just looking for an excuse to see this body in its full-glory again; my pants began to tent again and I smirked and shook my head as I made my way towards Will’s private bathroom again. ------------- I took a deep breath as the steamy water began to run down my body and slowly lathered up while allowing the curtain to remain so I could get a good view of my new (even if temporary) self. Dang, I still couldn’t get over how hot it was to watch Will’s body showering… My lip began to quiver and I bit it; anxious to play with that new tool I gave in and grasped it; letting the other hand explore as I began the fluid motion of slowly jerking back and forth on my new rod. So much pleasure, a low, primal, growl was released from my throat…. “Ah… Will…” I began to imagine how it would feel if I could be doing this from my own body, exploring this sexy body’s pleasure points. I gave his nipple a flick and shuddered as they were a bit sensitive as I was not used to Will’s touch yet… I closed my eyes and thought of that wonderful man, and us spending our lives together… Kissing those beautiful lips, holding those strong hands, laying on that powerful chest… My abs began to tighten as I fought to keep from cumming, wanting to tease this body a pit more I resumed playing with his chest and finally I couldn’t contain it as I allowed load after load to be sprayed across the shower. After some cleaning up I decided to get dressed for the day, and sauntered back into my new room, and went to the closet; I knew there had to be something in there to show off this sexy body… “Nope… no… nope” I said to no one in particular as I searched through his wardrobe. “Ah!” I exclaimed to myself when I saw some of his suits. He always looked very suave in a suit, and couldn’t resist putting it on. First I pulled on the pants, (kind of a struggle with my re-occurring friend popping up again!) then I pulled on the shirt, buttoning it up, it felt as if I were wearing a cloud; now I understand why Will was so particular about the suits he wore… I pulled on the jacket and finally began to work on the tie… something I struggled with but almost as if by magic, I somehow knew how to tie the tie, and I examined my reflection carefully as I finished adjusting it. Man, Will is so handsome in a suit… I lay on the bed and slowly laid back, closing my eyes; I imagined him at the altar, standing there in a tux… Flower petals delicately tossed through the pews, my relatives crying and me nervously making my way towards him… I get there and out hands meet, and I look into those beautiful brown eyes and blush, and look down… I could see him reaching a hand to my chin and gently pulling his gaze to mine, smiling gently… “Woah, someone’s looking spiffy!” a voice interrupted my thoughts; I snapped back to reality and looked over to see me, or rather Will. “Oh uh… yeah, I was just you know… Making sure I knew how to tie this tie and uh… stuff.” I looked down, unable to meet even my own body’s gaze; somehow, Will’s gentle smile continued to shine, even in my awkward self…

[amazingphanisnotonfire-imagines]

Jughead//Never Be Alone

Request: I dunno if you write AU's but could you write a soulmate AU (you have the name of your soulmate on your body) for Jughead/Reader where you're constantly annoyed cause the name is Forsythe, it's also on your shoulder (similar shape to his serpent tattoo) and he see's it one day and doesn't realise your name is on the back of his neck (like he can't see if cause of his hat/hair)

Jughead Jones didn’t have a soulmate. He had checked. He’d looked at every single part of his body that he could see (a lot of bending and mirrors had been involved) and he’d come to the conclusion that he didn’t have one. Nobody was made for him. He was meant to be with no one. When he was younger he didn’t really understand, when he became a teenager, he didn’t really care. He was a loner after-all, having no soulmate was the best possible thing for him. However as he progressed through school, and his friends started to meet their soulmates he started to feel more alone, than a loner.

Y/n y/l/n however, did have a soulmate. And everybody she met knew about it. It wasn’t because it was on her shoulder so you could always see at least a bit of it. No, it was because whoever her soulmate was, had the longest name ever. So long in fact that she was convinced he was royalty (which he sort of was). Not only did he have a long name, it was also stupid. Well thats what she and the majority of her friends thought. Who would name their child Forsythe?

“Hey Y/n.” Your lab partner greeted you as you walked through the busy halls of Riverdale High. 

“Hey Betty. How are you today?” You asked. 

“Good. My mom’s still crazy but I’m kinda used to it.” She shrugged and you looked at her sympathetically. You’d been to her house a few times since meeting her and every time her mom seemed to gradually get a little crazier. You had both agreed that you would just hang out at your house after the last time. 

You had met a few of Betty’s friends and they seemed nice, but there was still a few you had yet to meet. One of them being Jughead. You’d seen him around a few times but never really interacted. 

“How’s your soulmate?” Betty asked and you rolled your eyes, pulling your shirt up a bit to cover it. 

“Still ridiculous.” You replied and she laughed. 

“Speaking of ridiculous, I need to talk to Jughead about something. Do you wanna come with?” 

“Sure. I’ve got nothing better to do.” You shrugged and followed her down the corridor. 

“Jug?” She asked and he turned around. 

“Yeah?” 

“Me, Veronica and Archie are going to Pops tonight. Do you wanna join?” 

“Sure.” He shrugged and she smiled at him, while you stood beside her and looked around awkwardly. 

“Oh. This is Y/n.” She introduced you. 

“Hey.” He nodded at you. 

“Hi. I’m Y/n, the girl with the longest soulmate name in the history of soulmates.” 

“Huh?” 

“Her soulmates name is Forsythe.” Betty laughed. 

“I’m sorry what?” 

“My soulmates name is Forsythe. Well Forsythe Pendleton Jones III to be precise. I don’t really know how it fits on my shoulder but ya know.” You shrugged and he stared at you wide eyed. 

“Are you okay Jughead?” Betty asked concerned and he looked at her. “Wait! Holy shit! Thats your name!” She announced and you looked at her, your expression mirroring Jughead’s. 

“You’re my soulmate?” You asked, finally looking at him. 

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Betty excused herself, and you stood in front of Jughead.

You had waited for this moment your entire life. When you were younger you would always ask your parents to tell you the story of how they found each other, and as you fell asleep you would dream about when you would tell your kids how their parents met.  

“We can’t be soulmates!” Well, this wasn’t how it was supposed to go. 

“Why the hell not?” You raised an eyebrow.

“Because I don’t have one. I don’t have a name at all. There is literally nothing on me apart from my serpent tattoo.” 

“Oh.” Tears formed in your eyes and you looked around the corridor. 

“I’m your soulmate, but you’re not mine. I’m sorry.” He looked at the floor. 

“No. Its fine.” You shook your head as tears streamed down your face. 

“I’m really sorry.” He tried to touch your arm but you shrugged him off. 

“Its okay. Really. I’ll er. I’ll see you around.” You turned away and walked down the corridor. 

“Y/n!” Betty smiled at you as she walked past. “Whats wrong?” 

“I err. I don’t feel well. I think I’m gonna go home.” You pushed passed her. 

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Jug? Are you okay?” Jughead had been moping for the entire day, and he felt rubbish. So he couldn’t even imagine what you felt like. Ever since he’d got to Pops he’d put his head on the table and avoided all conversation. That was until Archie decided to do something about it. 

“Fine.” He mumbled. 

“You sure?” Betty asked. 

“No.” 

“Whats up. Also do you know what’s wrong with Y/n because when I saw her today she was really upset and you were the last person to talk to he-”

“I’m someones soulmate.” He interrupted her and everyone looked at him surprised. 

“Thats good! Isn’t it?” Veronica said confused.

“Nope.” 

“Why not?” They asked. 

“Because I’m not hers.” 

“Oh.”

“You don’t have a mark do you?” Archie asked and he shook his head.

“Nope. And I feel really bad.” He sighed, taking his hat off and rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Errr. Jughead?” Archie asked.

“What?” He replied annoyed.

“Was your soulmate Y/n?” 

“Yeah. Why?” 

“Because you have the name Y/n y/l/n tattooed on the back of your neck. Its like in your hair.” 

“Fuck!” He shouted and stood up quickly. “I’ll see you guys later.” He ran out of Pops. “Betty.” He ran back in breathless. “Can you tell me where she lives?” 

The frantic knocking on the front door pulled you out of you miserable daze. 

“I’m not in!” You shouted from the sofa. You didn’t want to talk to anyone, not for a long time. What kind of cruel trick is the universe playing on you? What did you do to deserve this?

“Are you called Y/n?” A familiar voice asked through the door. 

“Yeah? You already know that.” You replied, slowly making your way towards it. 

“Y/n y/l/n?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Because you’re my soulmate.” He told you and you quickly swung the door open. 

“I thought you didn’t have one.” You looked at him. 

“So did I until about twenty minutes ago. Its covered by my hair.” He rubbed the back of his neck. 

“Oh.” 

“I’m really sorry I made you think you weren’t my soulmate.” He apologized. “You can see it if you want?” He offered.

“No thanks. I believe you.” You nodded.

“Do you wanna go on a date so I can make it up to you?” 

“Of course.” You smiled shyly at him. “How did I end up with a soulmate who didn’t realize his mark was on the back of his neck for 17 years.” 

“Tough luck. But you’re stuck with me forever.” 

“I look forward to it.” You smiled brightly at him and kissed his cheek.

[arolla-pine]

No room to swing a Cat? - p.17

(17) – Her exes

“So, how was your day?” Cat Noir asked, changing his seat from the windowsill to a corner of Marinette’s bed.

“Great!” she replied with a bright smile.

“Said by a sick person…” he commented and she laughed.

“Oh, all I meant was that I have wonderful friends, you know? Everyone cared about me today. We even ate a pizza here, in my room… I think…” she hesitated. “I guess… I’m not sure… It’s like the reality and dreams has been mixed recently…”

“But… You’re better?” he asked with concern.

“Yeah, I feel much better. Almost cured, I think. Not counting that moment of confusion at the start.”

“So, you’re going for classes tomorrow?”

Marinette glanced at him unsure. Something in his tone alerted her. How did he know what they had been discussing here in the afternoon?

“I’m not sure yet… I feel a bit confused… Besides, I have only two lectures tomorrow, so it’s better to let it go? Vér will share her notes with me later.”

“Your friend Vér, right?”

“Yes, that’s her. I’ll have a chance to get better.”

She stayed quiet for a while, so he felt uncomfortable and uncertain what he should do now. Meanwhile she was trying to find a courage to tell him the story that she had planned to share last week.

“It’s the right time, Cat…” she said determined.

“F-For what?” he stuttered.

“I’ll tell you about Luka.”

“You want to get worse?” he winced, trying to ignore a sudden desire to jump out the window. Why was she ruining this perfect evening?

“I want to feel better. And I think that when I tell you the story, I’ll be able to move on, you know?”

‘Oh, that works for me…” he thought happily. All he needed was to bite the bullet, wait out the terrible story, and then… Then… He’d see what would happen…

“So…” she began. “What do you want to know?”

“Nothing…” he blurted out. “I mean… Just tell me what could help you. I’m here to listen whatever you’ll tell me.”

“OK, Cat… Oh, by the way…”

“Yeah?”

“Can you promise that everything I’ll tell you will stay between you and me?”

“Of course, Princess. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.” he promised, rising his right hand and putting his left hand on his heart. Marinette burst out laughing, and he winked at her in reply. “So, let’s do it…”

“Would you mind if I don’t go into details?”

“I’d appreciate that if you don’t, please…”

“Great… So… Where to start?”

“Please not from the beginning…” he muttered. All he wanted was to avoid those romantic details of how Luka won his girlfriend’s heart. Luka’s girlfriend not Cat Noir’s. Because Marinette wasn’t neither Cat Noir’s nor Adrien’s girlfriend. “Just tell me what hurts you.”

“My heart hurts, Cat. Every time I think about my bad choices. I chose a boy who turned out to be untrustworthy. I chose him over my friends. Probably I would be completely alone right now if I didn’t have Alya. And Nino, and Adrien. And you, of course…”

“Why do you think you chose Luka over your friends?”

“Don’t judge me, Cat… We were in love. We wanted to spend every second together…” she got lost in memories for a moment, not paying attention to her interlocutor who looked like he wanted to jump out the window again. “Soon, it turned out that there’s no more time to spend with friends. Besides, Alya and Nino began skipping our meetings, then Ivan and Mylène did the same. Adrien left us as soon as he started dating Kagami. After that only Juleka, Rose and Luka stayed around me, but Juleka and Rose focused on themselves soon, so… It was over. And now… Now I feel that it’s almost impossible to get these people altogether. I’m afraid we wouldn’t have anything to talk about. Everyone has grown up. Everyone has their life…”

“Excuses…” Cat Noir snorted. “Tell me, what you’re really afraid of, Princess…”

Marinette took a glance at him with concern. After a while she whispered:

“That they will blame me for breaking-up our gang. That was my fault, because I was too focused on my boyfriend that I forgot about my friends…”

“But it’s not true! Everyone left because they wanted. But it’s you who can reunite them now, you know?”

“You really think so?”

“Weren’t they those who called you their Everyday Ladybug?”

“Adrien called me that.” she whispered and smiled to her memories of that special day.

“Seriously?” he pretended being astonished, although he remembered that day perfectly. Recently he’d even recalled it quite often.

“What’s so shocking for you?”

“What? No… Nothing… I’m just surprised that you remember it so well…”

“That was a very important moment for me. A very important memory.”

“Because you felt like a superheroine?”

“Because Adrien noticed me. You know, me as someone worth being noticed.” she admitted and added under her breath: “Sort of…”

“Wow… You sounds like you were in love with him.”

“Because I was.” she confessed just like that.

“Wh-What?!” Cat Noir was shocked, this time for real.

“It’s ancient history… I think I’d die before I told him now.”

“But… But… How?”

“How what?” Marinette laughed. “You’ve been teasing me all the time that I’m picking up the programmer living next door, or that he’s in love with me. And now you’re acting like I revealed the biggest secret in the world and it’s impossible to believe in that!”

“Be-Because it is… I had no idea…”

“Actually… When you think about it, that could seem to be weird. Believe me or not, but it wasn’t related anyhow with the fact he was a famous model. At least at the beginning…”

“Re-Really?”

“Really, Cat. Can you imagine? Of course, you can. You’re superhero, so probably you have plenty of admirers everywhere. Just imagine that someone could love you just for you, not for your fame.”

“Mhm…” was all he could say right now. He wanted to run away immediately, find Bunnix and go back in time. Oh, he’d been such an idiot!

“It’s so strange that Adrien didn’t realise that.” Marinette continued, completely unaware what was happening in Cat Noir’s head. “Everyone knew. Even his girlfriend, Kagami…”

“You’re not serious…” he whispered in shock.

“Why? You think he knew?” she was surprised.

“No, he didn’t. For sure.”

“How do you know that?”

“Because he would be with you. Who wouldn’t want to be with you?”

“You. Adrien. Luka… Should I continue the list?”

“Wait a moment! Luka? You both were dating for years!”

“It was long time ago. Now, I’m not so funny anymore for him. Besides… Besides he always thought I was dating him because Adrien was dating Kagami. At the beginning he didn’t mind, but then… Er… He reminded this every time we had a quarrel. Even when we had an argument of something stupid, that issue was brought back by Luka… Sooner or later… Finally, I had enough. Enough of all those fights, reproaches, lack of trust. He could meet his fans and admirers all he wanted, but I couldn’t go out with my friends without an argument.”

“You couldn’t?”

“Once I went for coffee with Nathaniel. We met by chance and he told me that he’d just signed a contract with a publisher for the whole series of comic books. When Luka heard about it, he went mad. But when I told him that a week before he’d been at a party in the Grand Paris Hotel, without me of course, I heard that I was picking on him. Oh, I should mention that at that party Luka was caught on making out with Chloe Bourgeois. I got some pictures from an anonymous ‘friend’…” Marinette’s voice failed her. She lowered her head and clasped her hands.

Cat Noir couldn’t decide what to do. First, he wanted to come closer, embrace Marinette and comfort her. But his other half wanted to leave immediately, find Luka and break his spine.

In result, he stayed frozen and just stared at Marinette without a word.

—

No room to swing a Cat? p.16  <-  Previous part |  Next part  ->  No room to swing a Cat? p.18

Start reading from the beginning

[askyancy]

That ask meme thingys

I dont’s wants to spam the main thing so we’s repostin it  Here’s a link to the original  https://askyancy.tumblr.com/post/188857885461/get-to-know-me-uncomfortably-well

1. What is you middle name? Daniel 2. How old are you? 30 3. When is your birthday? June 28  - 4:15pm 4. What is your zodiac sign? Cancer 5. What is your favorite color? Blood Red 6. What’s your lucky number? 4 7. Do you have any pets? Not anymore. But I’s used to have a cat fer like 15 seconds? Her name was Flancy 8. Where are you from? Ohio! 9. How tall are you? 5′10 10. What shoe size are you? 10 11. How many pairs of shoes do you own? 7 buts they’s keep em locked away from me 12. What was your last dream about? I hads a nightmare.. ah.. somet’in about escapin and upsettin de guards with someone handsome..or beautiful..or both I dont remembers 13. What talents do you have? I can sing I s’poses!  14. Are you psychic in any way? Psh no 15. Favorite song? I dont wanna be free Popular - Wicked 16. Favorite movie? Robin Hood Men In Tights 17. Who would be your ideal partner? Oh  er I er- I dunno... someone... someone who gets me youse know? 18. Do you want children? I er... n-no.. I mean yeah I do’s but.. I aints a good father 19. Do you want a church wedding? I don’ts think the church woulds want someone like me in der. Nah somewhere on a beach or somet’ins 20. Are you religious? Uhm.. not reallys.. God aint done a lot fer someone like me ya know? 21. Have you ever been to the hospital? A few times yeah. Lot o long stories there aheh.. maybe anoder time! 22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Nah course not..... not at aaaaaallls.... not once! Totally not in prison cos I broke any o dem law things...  23. Have you ever met any celebrities? I er.. not reallys?  24. Baths or showers? Shower! I could shower fer hours! aint payin no water bill so why nots! 25. What color socks are you wearing? White ones.. all we gets in here 26. Have you ever been famous? Ey er actually supposedlys I was on the tumblr fandom thingy once! That was nice! 27. Would you like to be a big celebrity? Me- ah ..nah.. I wouldnt wants all that. Nah.. nice quiet life in prison is fer me! 28. What type of music do you like? Musicals mostly! I er posted  lil mini playlist recently youse might be able to find it! 29. Have you ever been skinny dipping? Eh.. aheh... I er... yeah... ahaheh... I’ll leave that up to youses for youses imaginations~ 30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 16 31. What position do you usually sleep in? Lil spoons! 32. How big is your house? I means it’s pretty big! Prison gotta house a lotta roomies youse know? 33. What do you typically have for breakfast? Dey serves us dry cereals or oatmeal 34. Have you ever fired a gun? Shotgun,  Franchi SPAS-12  12 gauge. 6 shots in total. 3 fatal shots. 1 miss 35. Have you ever tried archery? Nah I aint goods at no stringy thingys theys get all tangled 36. Favorite clean word? Bourgeoisie  37. Favorite swear word? The U bomb 38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? 6 days 39. Do you have any scars? Ah, couple on my left hand from a knife, one on my right leg from a bullet and I gots a …few more on my back but ah.. I donts like to talks about those ones. Youse understand. 40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? If I knews if I had a secret Admoirer it wouldnts be a secret no mores! 41. Are you a good liar? ah no.. I got a lotta tells 42. Are you a good judge of character? terrible! But ah! I always trys to make amends youse know? 43. Can you do any other accents other than your own? Ah a few, can do my dayds, New Joysey, Bahstan and New Yoyrk 44. Do you have a strong accent? Peoples always be tellin me I do 45. What is your favorite accent? I likes dem scottish types... ah and dat ole southern drawls good a good tingle to its! 46. What is your personality type? .... I er... I dunnos... Nice??? but like... tough guys too? Youse make that call 47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing? My shoeses! Dese is Itallian! 48. Can you curl your tongue? yeth 49. Are you an innie or an outie? I’m an innie! Prison life is where I lives int no outtie life fer me! 50. Left or right handed? I’s actually ambidestrous! 51. Are you scared of spiders? n...no...... why is der one near by? Youse gotta get it! 52. Favorite food? Gumbo. period. 53. Favorite foreign food? Probably one o dose indian curries! 54. Are you a clean or messy person? I likes to keep a clean cell  55. Most used phrased? Youses know? 56. Most used word? Youses 57. How long does it take for you to get ready? 5-10 minutes... unless its a show day then I takes like 3 hours. Gotta look poifect  58. Do you have much of an ego? Peoples be tellin’ me lately that I’m an ego nows but I dont gets it. I aint tryna be above anyones else ya know? I’s just out here tryna be me 59. Do you suck or bite lollipops? I licks them ;P 60. Do you talk to yourself? Me nah... Why’s would I talk to myselfs? Not like I dont gots a whole gang to talks to. Not like I’m locked aways from them right now whiles in Solitary... Not likes I fill the silence in ‘ere with false conversations ....  61. Do you sing to yourself? Always! thoughs there aint much privacy in ‘ere so’s a lot o people get to hear it too 62. Are you a good singer? Peoples tells me so! But I’s still got a lot to works on 63. Biggest Fear? .......... Abandonment  64. Are you a gossip? What? Nah... I woulds never betray someone like that. Only cruel cold hearts sons o bitches do’s that. Oh! Dat reminds me youse should hear what I heard about Shithole Hank the other day. So gets this --- 65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen? Chicago! Best thing! 66. Do you like long or short hair? Short hair! Slides better through the fingers! 67. Can you name all 50 states of America? Wells I coulds but youse might call it cheatin but here goes https://youtu.be/MSvJ9SN8THE?t=34s 68. Favorite school subject? Theatre o course! 69. Extrovert or Introvert? I er I’m an introvert actually 70. Have you ever been scuba diving? Sadlys no... Always wanted to go see one o dem coral reefs wid de fishes! 71. What makes you nervous? ....the...the Ward’n 72. Are you scared of the dark? All dese nooks n crannies deys dayrk down there I gets used to it But afraid o de Dayrk..... de Dayrk scares me... 73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes? Only if its a common t’ing and theys not notice it on there own! 74. Are you ticklish? Yes but dont go tellin nobodys! 75. Have you ever started a rumor? Me! No! Course not! Startin’ rumors is the lowest o de low... spreadin em dough? I heards this one that Tiny once ate a guards arm.. like..de whole t’ing. I’d honestly say dat wasn’t true but... I mean.. it’s Tiny... Dey’s strong and terrifyin if youse get on their bad side! 76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? Me nah... I ain’ts authoritive like  77. Have you ever drank underage? No. and I don’ts endorse it eithers 78. Have you ever done drugs? No. We’s very against that at Happy Trails. We’s is about rehabilitation. 79. Who was your first real crush? Ah nice guy in my high school called Illinois buts then..everyone had a crush on him. I wonder how his adventurin craze is doin him 80. How many piercings do you have? Ah just my ears 81. Can you roll your Rs?“ rr....rrrrrlbllr... RRBLRLBLRRGRLR...... RRRRRRRRRRR there we gos 82. How fast can you type? I dunno’s how fast do I’s respond to youses akses 83. How fast can you run? Only ever got caught once! and dey cheated with bullets 84. What color is your hair? Black and dark as night babye~ 85. What color is your eyes? Brown like the muddy pools of-.... er.... chocolate? 86. What are you allergic to? Rabbits and kidney beans...and hard labor 87. Do you keep a journal? Yeah but dats fer my eyes only capiche!? 88. What do your parents do? Nothin anymore.....  Me Dayd always thoughts he was so good. always mocking me n stuff.. Thought he was all big bein a dental surgeon! And mom! Oh mom was just as bayd. Thinkin she was all better than me! Providin me with cuddles n loves and hugs n stuff tellin me to chase my dreams WELL WHOS DREAMIN NOW MA! Youse aint nursin nobody no mores! 89. Do you like your age? I dont like dat its gettin older 90. What makes you angry? Not a lotta t’ings but if youse be disrespectin mah fam’ly youse is gonna get it! 91. Do you like your own name? Yeah I likes it. had it a while now and it suits me youse know? 92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? ah... Not reallys I means.. thats a joint decision youse know? 93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child? ah... thats up to the kid to decide when they’s ready 94. What are you strengths? I’s a good team member me thinks? 95. What are your weaknesses? I er... I gots a lot o’ flaws... 96. How did you get your name? ah wells it started with the nickname fancy pants and den dey took the first letter of my old name, a dead name i donts use it no mores, and it became Yancy Pants and den got shortened ta just Yancy 97. Were your ancestors royalty? Mine? psh.. nah! youse kiddin? For all I knows my ancestor was a pirate or somet’in 98. Do you have any scars? I gots -wait... I answered dis one already! 99. Color of your bedspread? Dark blue with some nice white sheets! 100. Color of your room? Grey... like every other wall in dis place