#ESPECIALLY when people who are actually fat or chubby are constantly getting shamed for their bodies

[undead-potatoes]

If I have to see one more post with 5000 comments going "aaah I LOVE chubby/fat [character name] 😍😍😍" and it's just another picture of a skinny man w/o visible abs or a woman with giant tits I'm gonna become the fucking Joker

[owlbelly]

body thoughts (fatness, self-image, social dynamics, etc.)

just coming out of a period of dealing with more intense internalized fatphobia, which happens pretty regularly when my stress over other things goes through the roof (it's an extremely frustrating "coping" mechanism because it is absolutely not coping & in fact makes everything worse, but it is a thing my brain does, this rerouting of uncertain stress into certain self-shaming)

& it's weird to emerge from it, even though i always do, for the past 12-13 years since i actively committed to deprogramming from diet culture & engaging really intentionally with fat lib. i have some tried & true methods of helping myself - the most effective one is to really up my intake of photos of fat people, especially queer/trans fat people, living joyfully & being loved (the photography of Shoog McDaniel is my lifeline), because it helps me reconnect to the idea of myself as a whole person & my fat body as natural, complex, awe-inspiring/beautiful/striking/impressive/whatever-i'm-good-with-feeling

i spent a LOT of my fat life (which is not my whole life - i'd say i was an "average" child, increasingly "chubby" as a teen & finally "small" fat in college - now in my mid-30s i am definitely fat, but also much more aware of myself in the spectrum as being on the upper end of mid-fat or the lower end of large fat) - even after getting into fat lib! - hiding from photos & avoiding mirrors. i have also, for my entire life, most often been the fattest person my social circle, which has extremely skewed my self-perception & made me feel very consistently conspicuous. i think this has a bit to do with the general class/race dynamics of the places i've lived but it could also just be shitty luck. at this point i am craving in-person friendship with people my own size & not sure how to go about facilitating that as i am pretty fucking exhausted by social events & also not really up for just hanging out with a bunch of college kids (which is most of the valley scene)

i think i'm also just carrying around a lot of grief over how forcibly disconnected i've been from my own body via growing up with a fucked up relationship to food, a fucked up relationship to sex & desirability (first ever experiences were non-consensual/abusive, my fat/trans/disabled body is culturally devalued/dehumanized), a fucked up relationship to movement (diet culture & fatphobia make "exercise", sports, dance, etc. inaccessible or actively hostile to me, sometimes i can't move anyway due to pain/fatigue even if the environment is good). like when i see people who seem to be enjoying their bodies in an uncomplicated way (which is probably impossible so we'll say less complicated way) i get so fucking jealous & sad. i've been trying to work on it but i think i still mostly just dissociate from my body a lot of the time, which means when someone takes a picture of me & i see it there's usually an element of shock & i'm so tired of it. i'm so tired.

anyway i was at a workshop recently where folks were taking pictures of us & a friend sent me one of me & i actually liked it, which is how i know i'm coming out of the rut - i looked at all the pictures from that workshop & yeah, there i was being the fattest person in the group (though not the only fat person thankfully) & looking like myself & it was fine. good even. but god what wouldn't i fucking give to be in one of Shoog's photoshoots with a bunch of other queer/trans fat people. what wouldn't i give to experience just enjoying my body without the hooks of fatphobia constantly ripping me apart. i used to think i could experience that if i somehow managed to get thin & now i know that's such a rancid fucking lie - if i did i would still spend the rest of my life in terror of regaining weight & i would still be obsessively measuring myself against some ridiculous ideal. i figured out years ago that the only way out of this is to completely let go of trying to control the shape of my body - to make my goal just caring as best i can for the body i have - and it's been the same thing as letting go of gender for me. i am so much happier & freer without it, and also there's such a huge fucking target on my back because of it. internally i am more often at peace & externally i am more often at risk. i don't regret making that trade but oh my fucking god what if people could just live free!!!!!!!!!

[thenonbinarydetective]

I literally do not care if this is long. Read it.

@neds-nickerson

Alright so hey we're going to talk about fatphobia because I'm not gonna pretend that issues such as this do not exist in the fandom. Because they do, and not being vocally against it contributes to it.

So Bess Marvin.

She's plus size, she's chubby, she's a big girl, she's fat. We know that and we shouldn't deny that

She's also beautiful, charismatic, compassionate, and a "fraidy cat'

We all know that the books have a history of fat-shaming. Mostly coming from George, who constantly ridiculed her cousin for simply existing. The main target is her weight. I've always said that the rewrites could use another round of rewrites to get rid of the fat-shaming, the rest of the racism, and honestly fix the mysteries a bit. But, you know, the first two are more important.

Something that does stand out about Bess is the way that she really isn't treated like a lot of other plus-size characters. If you compare her directly to Chet Morton, who was fat-shamed way worse and purely existed for comedic relief. Bess is different. How many fat characters can you name that are like Bess? How many are seen as attractive? How many don't exist purely to make fun of their weight? How many constantly stuff their face with food as if it's the only action they're capable of? Compare that with skinny characters.

Bess was allowed to be more complex. She was allowed to be seen as attractive. I remember when y'all practically bullied that person who pointed out that it's actually iconic for Bess to be the one with a more active love life while not exactly fitting the beauty standard. Y'all called them sexist for "putting a women's worth on how men find them attractive" that's not what they meant. You know sometimes when you point out that someone is attractive, you talk about the people that find them attractive.

Which reminds me, the Originals and the Rewrites weren't the only ones that were guilty.

Girl Detective

"She definitely isn't fat. In fact, Bess is totally gorgeous"

Because the two can't exist at the same time?

Bess is the pretty one and she has always been the pretty one, so even with the fat-shaming the originals and rewrites still were able to acknowledge that you can be plus-size and pretty.

But yeah other things go along the "fat can't also mean pretty" line. Files is the literary candidate who made Bess' "weight problem" basically something that she is exaggerating. That she was constantly "ten pounds from being perfect." She was never described as being chubby or plus-size. She actually was canonically thin here. According to them, she just didn't realize it.

Obviously this “making Bess skinny” thing isn't stuck to Files. In fact, there is no live-action Bess Marvin played by a plus-size actress. That is fatphobic. That is just pure fat-phobia and I don't care if you like any of the actresses or not. It is still just fatphobia

It's fatphobic for casting to consider them. It's fatphobic for the creators of any live-action to portray Bess as thin. It's honestly also fatphobic for the thin actress to go for this role. I'm not excluding them because you can fucking research a character from a property that already exists. Especially in modern times with the internet. There is no fucking excuse to not know anything about a character that's existed for 90 FUCKING YEARS.

Even with the swearing, I'm not saying this to be mean towards anyone in particular. I'm being harsh. And there's a difference. All you guys preach positivity and yet you contribute to fatphobia. Think of your fellow fans. You are not only being harmful towards a fictional character, you're harming real people.

Real people are like Bess Marvin or even Chet Morton.

You should be angry at fatphobia.

You should be done with it

You should acknowledge that a character with a far more complex personality than some tropey chubby one-dimensional fuck exists. And you shouldn't take that away.

Acknowledge Bess' weight when you write fanfiction. Acknowledge when you draw fanart. Acknowledge it when you fancast.

Bess Marvin is plus-size. That's it.

[rahullkohli]

about the weight watchers app for kids...i’m thinking it may be for overweight/obese kids? i can see it being mentally taxing for those who are at a normal weight for their size. can you explain more about how it’s child abuse?

hello. thank you so much for actually being chill and open for a dialogue, unlike how aggressive people have been about the post.

anyway, i have been thinking about how to tackle this one the entire day, and i am afraid it’s gonna be a long one, so i’ll put it under a cut. i’m just gonna start out with a little background about myself, to explain how i am forming my opinions on the subject, and where my knowledge comes from.

i have been overweight more or less my entire life, even though i have gone through anorexia and bulimia, and have been eating below my necessary calorie intake literally my entire life (i grew up very poor, so we just simply didn’t have enough, or satisfyingly nourishing, food in the house). to this day i struggle with disordered eating patterns and body dysmorphia. i have been lifting weights on/off for 12 years, and i have been seeing a licensed nutritionist for a year and a half now, which has helped me lose 22 kg. i am still working on it. i have worked with a long line of fitness trainers (my mom is a licensed fitness trainer, for one), and about three different nutritionists. so while i don’t have any education in either of those fields, i have worked with professionals that have taught me a lot. i have also studied psychology in college for a year, and specifically child psychology for another year - i also spent a year working with kids ages 2-6.

my two youngest sisters did a weightwatchers program when they were around 8 and 10, so i have also seen upclose how that works. that was many years ago - and not in america - so i do know that the way things worked then/works in america compared to where i live, may not be the exact same. but the guidelines for the company, and their strategies should be the same, since it is afterall the same company. now, both of my sisters lost weight. they also gained it back. and more, and more, and both of them are extremely overweight today. in the way that i am the “thin” sister, compared. and they are eating disordered. they have no grasp of how to deal with food. they are intelligent women, and they know the basics of “if you eat too much pizza and ice cream, you will gain weight” but they don’t know, and don’t have the energy, to apply it to how they live. they are not only compulsive overeaters, they also don’t have a healthy eating pattern that could help stabilize their metabolism.

okay, so with that out of the way, let’s get to the actual app - and weightwatchers.

the app offers a diet, even though it is a fact that diets do not work. they literally do not. people who go on a diet will gain the weight right back on, and more. because diets are short-term solutions, and they are designed to make someone lose X amount of weight in X amount of time. it is not sustainable - just as with the oh-so-popular juice cleanses. for someone to lose weight, and keep it off, a complete lifestyle change is needed, but that is just not as simple as some companies, magazines, blogs, etc. will make it sound. because every single person is unique and what their body needs to maintain a healthy weight is unique to them specifically. in order to lose weight your daily calorie intake needs to be in a caloric deficit, but this depends on your height, your current weight, how your body is built, and more. those are things the app simply don’t take into account. now, i haven’t actually downloaded the app myself (i refuse to give them the clicks), but a licensed trainer i follow on instagram posted screencaps on her story. as far as i could see they take height and weight, and that’s that. but the human body is much more complex than just height and weight - especially when it comes to children and teenagers, who are growing, and going through tremendous hormonal changes. but i will get to that later.

what should also be taken into account are things like hormonal imbalances, and the fact that people breaks down macronutrients (carbhohydrates, proteins and fats) differently. fx, my sisters have poly cystic ovary syndrome (pcos), which means that their bodies can’t handle carbohydrates very well, whereas i need most carbs, medium protein, small amounts of fats. but apps like these don’t take that into account, because it is impossible for an app to do a check for what every single individual needs. i for example recently found out that my body doesn’t break down dairy very well. i have been using plant based milk, yogurt, ice cream and butter, instead of animal based for years, and only very small amounts of animal based cheese, so when my nutritionist had me switch to animal based yogurt i started gaining weight. i went back to plant based and the weight went off.

nutrition and a healthy lifestyle cannot be taught simplistic, because it is about the individual, and it takes a trial, error and do-over period to find what works for your specific body. and what works for your body now, might not have worked ten years ago, or ten years from now, because hormones changes how our bodies processes macronutrients. but this app is a “one size fits all”-system.

and this system. the system it is using is based on shaming children; making them feel inadequate, making them scared, and ashamed of their bodies. the “before and after” photos i have seen, have all been kids who weren’t even that big to begin with. and the fact that the “goals” to choose from when signing up includes choices such as “make my parents proud” is manipulative and destructive for a child/teenager. no kid should ever even have the thought that they need to be a certain weight/size, or their parents won’t be proud of them. the entire set-up is sowing the seed that their weight is the deciding factor for their worth as people, which is the beginning to eating disorders.

now, kids’ bodies really start changing around the age of eight (the age of which you can sign up for this monster); these years are called pre-teens for a reason. hormones really start flowing, and body fat is really needed to help the hormones and toxins take care of the body. but if a child is forced to lose excessive amounts of body fats, this can’t happen. this is one of the reasons that professional child ballerinas, gymnasts, ice skaters, etc. don’t develop until very late. some don’t even get their period until their twenties, because their development has been stunted by excessive dieting and exercising.

their psyche of children and teens are also really delicate, and they are in the process of developing what kind of people they are going to be. not only that, also what their relationships with their bodies are gonna be like. if they are constantly told by their parents/siblings/apps that they need to lose weight, that they have to track and count every calorie they consider eating, and every step they take, does that seem like a healthy foundation for how they view their body, nutrition and exercise in the future?

the way the app works is with the so-called stoplight system, where if when you put in a food it will either give you a green light (good), yellow light (medium) or red light (bad) - but the thing is that, again, that is not how simple nutrition is. you would think that the red foods would be soda, ice cream, chips etc., and the green foods would be stuff like fruits and vegetables. but again, the trainer i followed said that she put in her food for the day: a protein bar, two eggs with bread, and a piece of fruit. the protein bar came up red, the eggs and bread yellow and the fruit green. now, all of these foods are things that are written down in my carefully calculated meal plan from my nutritionist. in my plan i also have lots of vegetables, pasta, rice, chicken, even chocolate and chips. but the thing is that it’s all about how much of it i eat. and that is another thing the app doesn’t seem to take into consideration. if i was to put in nothing but vegetables it would give me green light the whole way, but it would not be nourishing for a whole day. 

this app is forming their minds to spend all their energy worrying about what they eat, when they eat, how they eat. think of an eight year old with this app going to a birthday party - do you think they would be able to enjoy regular kiddie birthday party food, with the red light in the back of their heads? even if it is just one day? this app is gonna rob them of their childhood, and being able to enjoy life.

so, what i am trying to say is that the app is bad because the system doesn’t work. it is not teaching healthy habits, it is not giving advice on how to obtain a sustainable weightloss, and it doesn’t care about whether the children are actually overweight or not. it is created by a company whose sole purpose is to make money.

i don’t think that all of the parents who are buying into this are doing it because they are evil; i do believe that they think they are doing what is best for their children, but their views on body images and nutrition have also been skewed by the media and the diet culture we are living in. parents may look at their daughter’s chubby cheeks and think she’s unhealthy when she is literally just a kid with puppy fat that she will grow out of once adolescence hits. sure, there are kids who are truly in an unhealthy state with their bodies, but then the parents should have the help from a licensed professional, starting out with seeing a doctor who can tell them whether their child truly is overweight to a degree that it is dangerous, and from there on be referred to professionals that knows what they are doing. kids shouldn’t feel guilty when eating, but they will with this app.

i do realize that overweight is a problem, for both children and adults - not just in america, but most of the western world. (fun fact: the other day i saw a program that said that china is, as of 2017, the “fattest” country in the world, so it’s not just the western world, i just don’t have enough information about other places to say anything about that.) but a “one size fits all”-app is not the way to handle this issue. there are way too many layers to the problem to fix that.

not only is it important to remember that overweight does not equal unhealthy, regardless of age, gender, race, or anything else, but unhealthy overweight is especially tied to low-income persons, as nourishing food is much more expensive and accessible to people with middle-class and above incomes.

there is also the fact that education about proper nourishment is non-existent. what people know about dietary information is what they get from the media, where they will tell you garbage like goat milk is bad one day, and literally the next the same publication will tell you it’s the fountain of youth. it’s unreliable, and has no roots in actual science. even statistics can’t be trusted, because those often stem from surveys and projects paid for by big cooperations who are paying for an outcome in their favor.

so, to sum it all up; this app is based on a system that uses bodyshaming and guilt to throw kids and adults alike into a vicious cycle of yo-yo weight patterns, eating disorders and hateful relationships with themselves, their bodies and their sense of selfworth. i don’t think parents who buys into this app are overall evil, but it is an obvious tool for abusive parents who uses guilt, shame, punishment and scare tactics to manipulate their children into the above mentioned unhealthy patterns, because the parents themselves are victims of the fatphobic diet culture we are living in. not to mention that the parents don’t have access to proper information themselves.

aside from that, you can also see in the notes of the original post, that there are incredibly many people, who will tell stories about how forced diet in their childhood/teen years has been a kickstart to a lifelong series of mental and physical health issues.

this app is preying on scared parents to capitalize of a beauty obsessed ideal that is completely unrealistic.

i have also written a post about nutrition here that may be of interest to anyone reading this.

i am open to any questions, and constructive criticism. other than that i just hope i have been able to explain why i believe this app is harmful, and that it has been an informative read. thank you so much for reading to the end.

xxx

[6ad6ro]

let's talk about this idea of incels for a sec. i'm gonna do my best to not make a single insulting remark here. and i'm oversimplifying gender and sexuality like crazy since incels tend to be cis men. so anyways incels are ppl (men) who wanna have sex, but believe women just won't let them, right? they feel somehow their personalities make them incompatible with girls. okay.

most ppl? just view that rejection as a period of loneliness rather than defining themselves by it. when you grow up, you realise that most ppl want romantic partners. or at least an emotionally comparable variant. it's rly not hard to meet ppl. you just get out there. be nice n considerate. honest. accept things don't always work out and realise it's not the world against you. you just keep looking. meet people and let things happen naturally.

TLDR: incels are just toxic, extremist versions of the guys who used to bring up "friendzoning", and fz was never real. girls don't actually have an easier time dating than guys. it isn't women doing this to you, but rather the fault of patriarchy and the dudes in charge. you can change! just stop with this silliness because it's making things way worse for you!

i'm not particularly attractive, especially now that i'm older. i don't have a lot of money. i'm rly not interesting. i have a ton of personality baggage and flaws. hell, i'm agoraphobic and sorta like a western hikikomori. it's rly hard for me to meet people even online. and yet, when i DO get out there? i wind up in relationships or flings or flirty friendships. bc that's just how it works.

you have to meet ppl and develop a relationship to have... the physical parts of a relationship. life isn't porn. or harem anime. people have brains and feelings. and everybody has preferences. that person who you think is perfect for you? maybe they just weren't looking for someone like you. it isn't cruel of them to have their own opinions.

i mean honestly i don't think a single one of you incels would fuck just anybody. you guys have preferences too. are you sure if you didn’t open your eyes a bit wider that you couldn’t find someone? bc there are tons and tons of lonely ppl out there! the majority of ppl, actually. it's insane how many ppl are out there, right at this moment, who wish they had a sexual partner. go find them! be willing to have broader preferences! stop looking for someone who is "perfect" and look for someone who you can just be happy with!

okay so fine you say "well i'm ugly from societies standards". but... then why are you going after people who follow society's standards. as someone who constantly feels outcast in your life, shouldn’t that experience SHOW you that popular societal opinions are mostly frivolous? standards of beauty are fake? so if someone rejects you purely on that front (and this is a stretch bc everyone has valid personal pref), why isn't that a GOOD thing to you!? you aren't wasting your time on someone who harshly judges you based on unimportant things! you're filtering incompatible ppl out that way! it's all very natural.

okay lastly... i'm gonna bring up a part that could make me look bad. but i wanna be rly honest here. so women? do seem like they have an easier time meeting men. SEEM is the key word here, bc they actually don't. not really.

but girls who are willing to severely fall into the gender roles that patriarchal society forces upon them? yeah. they do. as long as they're fairly "attractive". and willing to spend a ton of time TRYING to be attractive. ESP if they're a bit aggressive themselves. thanks to awful patriarchy, typical gender roles have men chasing women like predators after prey. i won't get into ALL the extensive, rapey issues that involves bc that isn't my point here.

tho i mean how is that any different than a guy doing similar role stuff like "working out/making money/acting cool"?? if you really wanna meet the kinds of girls who fall into typical gender roles, you gotta do the same thing? i don't think this will make ppl happy... but if you wanna play games with ppl, you gotta play within the same dumb rules!

but back to my point, girls that let themselves be chased easily find themselves with guys more often. bc in patriarchy typically the guy has to initiate. girls like that are being reactive. so from a naive male perspective, it can look like "they get any guy they want". no. they're just saying yes to the guys they like of whatever pool of guys who are going after them. if they aren't chasing guys directly, how can they be directly rejected out of the gate?

let's look at it this way: a guy chases after 20 girls he kinda likes over a few years. 5 respond positively back. it prob seems like he only has 25% success w women and is usually failing, right? whereas a girl gets hit on by 20 guys over the same period, but says yes to 5 of them. so she's getting an "100% success rate" there, since she only wanted that 5. she wasn't chasing anyone. to guys it looks like they WORK for women, but women just win the lottery with guys? no. absolutely wrong. that is objectively incorrect.

you aren't incorporating all the guys they rly want. or how often they just "go with it". how often do you hear stories of girls wanting a guy and winding up w their friend instead? girls actually typically play within a pool of disappointment rather than chasing ideals. it's not literally disappointment tho? it's just being realistic. they play with the cards they're dealt.

there are TONS of girls who don't wanna spend so much of their lives playing that game tho. who DON'T wanna live within the confines of being a trophy. or if they aren't naturally lucky enough to be "pretty" by default, who aren't willing to spend 75% of their day compensating for that. those girls? aren't surrounded by guys. often single. often lonely until they get older and find someone they're mutually compatible with. bc that's another thing most guys don't see?

the only girls "worth" going after are the "appealing/easy" prey. or "white whales" where they just hope they'll get lucky. men aren't aggressively going after the chubby girl who wears reg clothes and doesn't actively try to look "sexy". they aren't drawn to girls who aren't giving them that playful "come get me" attitude. to them, they see that girl as "just a friend". or a " last resort". or "maybe a lesbian". it's fucking gross.

you might be like "well i know girls like that who have TONS of sex so"... have you seen the levels of desperation stereotypically "unattractive" girls like that have to stoop too? let me tell you, i meet these girl's bf and they're often total scumbags. they're scraping the bottom if the barrel. are you sure these girls haven't stooped to total desperation due to so many years of being overlooked when they acted normally? or ask yourself, were they ever TRULY "unattractive/unappealing" in the first place? u sure you don't just have weird standards??

btw can i point out? the tradeoff? the utter lack of power and choice girls have in this system? girls have to be born pretty and actively attractive with a sexy personality at all times. guys just need to have a moderate amount of money and be occasionally considerate. girls have to be sex objects whereas guys can be just people. bald, fat, somewhat unattractive guys are seen as normal but if a girl looked like that? she'd be perceived as a monster.

as a male working within gender roles you have the freedom to go after as many girls as you want without issue or disrespect. nobody is gonna call you a "slut" for trying to meet many girls. the list goes on and on. why are you mad at girls when you were "born winning"? you are more likely to live a happier life being alone than a girl would constantly being with someone. you should be grateful you aren't them... not mad at them.

but anyways... all this stuff? is super gross. weird toxic shit. it makes sense you would be lonely and angry when you don't wanna play by these rules. or change yourself to be more "appealing". but... why are you getting mad at girls?!?!? why blame women?? shouldn't you be mad at the source? patriarchy. society. gender roles. capitalism. look at who's running the show. bc it isn't the women you're mad at. or "the sjws". it's men in power.

you're seeing your lawn die in the summer sun and getting mad at the grass for daring to dry out. so you go out and stomp on the lawn. instead of using that anger and that energy to water it or give it shade. what are you thinking!? use that "logic" you guys are so proud of and actually try and solve the issue instead of throwing a moral temper tantrum. you talk about girls "bein so overly emotional" but what the heck do you think you're doing here right now?? stop trying to find an easy cheat solution and FIX the problem!

nobody should resort to violence about this stuff, but if you WERE gonna get violent, why isn't it at the people who structured your sexual prison? rather than the girls you wanna convince to fuck you? do you really want a world where girls fuck you out of fear? bc that's rape. would YOU be happy being raped? don't wish for an even rapier world. don't be so stupid and naive. rapey patriarchy is the cause of all your issues to begin with. this is the exact opposite if what you want.

honestly this incel thing just seems like an extremist offshot of the old "friend zone" argument. very similar to how gamergate warped into literal alt-right nazis. it's gross and absurd and you depressed, confused guys are being manipulated. you aren't thinking. please seek therapy or a wider perspective? if you hate feeling lonely and ashamed, why would you wear that shame like a badge of honor? just stop. spread happiness instead and you'll start to receive it back. you can change! it's that simple! it's okay!!!

[y00sungshairpin-blog]

Everyone always does an insecure chubby MC, but what about a confidant chubby MC who's happy in her skin and is the ultimate sass master to anyone who says other wise.

Hi!

I’m pretty chubby myself so this request hits home and I’m not particularly confident but I enjoyed writing this a lot! I decided to use 3rd person for this one as it sounded better and yeah enjoy! P.S. I’m sorry this took longer than I expected, I was sick and didn’t really feel like writing. I still am and atm I’m writing Saeran so I hope his part doesn’t suck too much ^^

Yoosung:

he personally loves MC’s body type

she’s just so soft and warm and she makes him feel safe

but he’s very concerned about other people’s opinions on her

he’s very insecure himself so he understands that she might feel bad about herself

so he makes sure to always remind her how much he loves her figure

poor child is worried sick about his girl

until one day, while walking hand in hand through the park, they run into a very unpleasant group of boys smoking something that definitely wasn’t cigarettes

one of them starts calling MC names, picking on her

“Yes I do have big thighs and large hips and do you know what the best part of all that is? I don’t have to share them with you.“

she then drags a shook Yoosung away from them until he’s able to function again

What just happened??

He can’t even process how proud he is of his confident girlfriend and her sass

from that day on he admires her even more

and understands he doesn’t need to worry about her feeling insecure

Zen:

he has never had a problem with MC’s appearance

she’s always been gorgeous to him

so when the family gathering comes up he would never expect her to be shamed by her own relatives

he couldn’t be more wrong

MC’s family has always been very disrespectful towards her

the majority of them is skinny and snobby so of course they’re gonna shame her

she’s just walking around the buffet table and scooping a small amount of egg salad onto her plate when her aunt approaches her

”Oh sweetie there’s mayo in there” she points out, making Zen tense up next to MC for some reason

”Yeah I know”

”You shouldn’t eat it, it’s gonna make your ass even fatter”

Zen wraps his arms around MC’s waist and is ready to stand up for his girlfriend

but she doesn’t need it

“I love my fat ass. Do you love your flat ass, sweetie?”

a loud gasp can be heard from MC’s grandma

“If you don’t wanna lose weight for yourself then do it for your boyfriend at least. I don’t understand how he can stand you with an attitude like that. And a fat ass. Poor boy.“

before she can finish her sentence, Zen gains courage and speaks up for himself

”Well maybe I like my girlfriend’s fat ass.”

he’s blushing

and the only sound that can be heard is MC’s grandma’s denture falling to the ground

even MC is speechless

but then grabs his hand and walks away with him

so now every time someone has anything to say about MC’s body, both team up to sass the shit out of them

not like either of them care (maybe Zen a bit), but they just love slaying the hoes

Jaehee:

when she first starts hanging out with MC she’s very surprised

and respects her so much

she finds her behavior so admirable and inspiring and she can’t help but smile constantly every time they’re together

her personality is so bubbly and confident, Jaehee has never been gayer

MC goes out wearing short skirts, crop tops and pretty dresses

she’s very loud too, so that she always stands out in crowds

she loves attention and shows off her girlfriend as wellshe compensates for the confidence Jaehee lacks which is amazing to her

whenever someone makes unnecessary remarks MC isn’t phased at all

on the other hand, it’s another occasion to show off her love for herself which makes Jaehee so happy and proud

she’s so glad her girlfriend can love herself as much as she loves her

and it actually helps her be a bit more confident herself

Jumin:

being a CEO he often spends entire days at the office

and he never says no to MC visiting him every now and then

one day they’re casually chatting at his desk when a woman wearing a red attire enters the room without knocking

”Sorry to interrupt you, Mr. Han, I just wanted to remind you that we have a meeting in five minutes.”

she then glances at MC and adds

”It will only last one hour, I think the maid can wait”

tHE FUCK DID SHE JUST CALL HER

”I would like to inform you, madam, that this is actually my girlfriend.”

”Oh, sorry. I just didn’t think this would be your type, Mr. Han.”

MC rolls her eyes at how boring these women can get when they open their mouths

Jumin is about to answer but MC gives him no time

”You should see our relationship then. It’s actually perfect. Unlike you with that dress. I think red is not your type.”

the woman turns on her heels, her cheeks as red as her ugly outfit

when MC turns around she bursts into laughter at Jumin’s astonished face

he’s literally like

°0°

just picture it guys that’s literally his face

but when he finally recovers he congratulates his girlfriend for being able to stand up for herself

and he agrees on the dress

it would look great on MC though

707:

he is the sass mastah himself

so when he first starts witnessing episodes of his girlfriend slaying her haters he’s extremely proud

every time someone has anything to say about MC’s weight he doesn’t even worry about it because he knows she will drag them

and that she loves her body

which makes him extremely happy

every time she responds to insults with something along the lines of “you bitches are just jealous” or "m thick and I love it” a single tear runs down his face in pride

as he secretly thinks “MC is one ticc bih“

as much as he loves seeing his queen stand up for herself there is nothing he enjoys more than teaming up with her to show others what a power couple they are

it’s also a good excuse to flirt which is always welcome

the thing he does the most, in fact, is touch her especially her ass to show how much he appreciates her body to anyone who asks him “Why would you date someone like that?“

he’s extremely proud and he has so much fun with MC, especially since she is a living meme as well as a total savage

V:

ShE MODELS FOR HIM ALL THE TIME

LIKE HE WOULD HAVE NEVER IMAGINED SHE WOULD ACTUALLY ACCEPT WITHOUT HESITATION

she fills him with so much joy

and helps him a lot with his own confidence too

he especially loves complimenting her about something and hearing her say “I know“

always followed by a “You too” or “I love your ______”

he doesn’t even want to imagine how miserable he would be without MC by his side

and he’s the type of guy who can’t contain his laughter even in inappropriate situations

so whenever MC casually snaps back to one of her family members or people who stare on the street he always lets out a cute chuckle

he has no idea how she always has a new comeback ready for every situation

he’s not really good at talking back to people

he doesn’t want to sound rude

but he surely enjoys his girlfriend’s way of dealing with unwanted haters

still, he absolutely hates it when people pick on her

she’s so pretty and confident and those people should only admire her and respect her

he knows MC can take care of the insults herself, but he still wants to prove himself to her and protect her

it’s his instinct

and if he doesn’t (kindly) jump in the conversation he always makes sure to wrap an arm around his girlfriend’s waist to show her his support

he’s so precious

Saeran:

he’s  glad his girlfriend loves herself

it would have been challenging for him to deal with her insecurities

he would have done it regardless, or at least tried but

he doesn’t consider himself very good at helping people with emotions

he still hasn’t fully recovered from his own scars

his MC has also a huge role in this change

and he’s very protective of her so when she gets picked on he gets all fed up until she steps in and shuts their mouth with one simple sentence

he’s a fast learner and after working up the courage he asks MC for “sass lessons”

he fails

so he ends up letting MC do all the work

also any time she buys a new dress and wears it for him he’s shocked

no matter how many times she comes home with a new dress, he’s always amazed by how greatly she can pull it off

she will even put on a fashion show for him sometimes

walking around the room, twirling, showing off her curves

he loves all of it

that’s how he discovers that her confidence is a huge turn-on for him

and he looks up to her a lot, hoping to one day be able to reach her level of poise

MASTERLIST

[rfassholes]

"i don’t appreciate the fact that voluptuous bodies are praised only if there’s skinny arms, a flat stomach and a chiselled face but you want thick thighs, a big bum and breasts. but you also don’t want stretch marks, cellulite, scars. like how do you think bodies work" -marimopet. I think they're right, how about a headcanon of an insecure chubby mc that really likes to cover her body and is really insecure about being naked in front of them? (RFA+V+Saeran) Thanks! :D

Hecking darn, I’m so sorry that this took me so long. Please let me know if you’d like me to change anything. Also I’m 80% sure the formatting off on this, but I’ll be glad to change it in the future. Again, sorry for making you wait and much love!

Yoosung:

He was coming back from an outing with some campus friends when he saw you looking over yourself in the mirror

You looked slightly disgusted with your stomach and kept poking at your thighs

Your nose wrinkled a bit seeing them wiggle a little bit

Yoosung was really very confused so he called out your name

Jumping a bit, you turned towards him and apologized

“Nonononono, MC! Don’t say sorry! You didn’t do anything wrong!” he nearly yelled worriedly while hanging up his coat 

After he settled in, he practically ran to you in your room while you were hurriedly adjusting your clothing

“Why do you have look on your face?” “’Cause my thighs are really jiggly” “But you looked mad at yourself” “Well, yeah, I don’t like them all that much, Yoosung”

This boy was d e v a s t a t e d 

He pretty much threw himself on you to hug you 

“But MCCCCC, you’re not allowed to not like them. You’re really really cute, and so are your thighs!” 

From that day forwards, he would give you compliments on how you looked in outfits

8/8 would lay on you because you were “comfy and safe”

Never ever would pressure you to wear other things but would encourage you to like yourself a bit more

“C’mon, MC, if you don’t like the squish, then what kind of person are you? Squoosh is good. Squoosh is safe”

Would attempt to fight anyone that body shamed

May’ve tried to deck a fuckboy

dAMMIT, YOOSUNG

“Okay, how would you feel if I didn’t like my body?” “Yoosung, that’s completely different” “Nuh-uh!” “Fine, then I’d always tell you that your perfect, ‘cause you are” “See?” “Plus, if you thought you looked bad, then how should I feel about myself?” “Nope! That’s counterproductive!” “Then I’d always make sure that you know I love you and how you look” “Do you see now? That’s what I’m trying to do!”

Constantly would give really cute pep talks if you needed it 

No pressure if you didn’t want to wear something, but he’d make sure to tell you you were stunning

Zen:

Okay, when you were ever in public with this boy, he noticed you were a little anxious

He tried to ask about it but you always deflected it so he backed off 

There was one day where he came home later from rehearsals and you were sitting on the bed scrolling through some comment section of one of his fanpages 

Zen was worried considering your facial expression that looked like a mixture of sadness and something else he couldn’t place

You, on the other hand, were trying to laugh it off in your head

I mean, you were already struggling with self-image issues and you could laugh those off

These were different, though. They had usernames and pictures along with a few anonymous people

It felt like you were on display in some exhibit where people came to point and laugh

After he showered and you were still looking concerned while reading on your phone, he dramatically fell next to you on the bed

You brushed off anything he tried to ask so he went on the messenger to see if anyone had anything to say

It clicked with him once he saw that Jaehee was ranting about how rude some people were being on some fan blogs

“Hey, MC?” “Hmm? “Y’know you’re really beautiful, right?” 

You laughed a bit in response to that then stopped realizing that he probably wouldn’t like you finding humor in that

“I’m serious, you know. I’ve seen a lot of people through my career, but you take the cake,” “Hyun, have you seen my arms?” “Yeah, and they’re amazing!” “What about my stomach?” “A masterpiece!” “And my chins?” “Fit to be in a museum!”

Shaking your head, you wondered how you could wind up in a relationship with him and leaned over towards him

“You’re funny.” “But it’s all true! My princess is gorgeous” “Obviously not, considering what people say” “Yeah, well, screw those people. They probably have no joy in their lives. They probably think about dead puppies. Not everybody finds everybody attractive, too. There’s people who don’t think I’m hot as hell”

You fake gasped and he started laughing, no giggling 

shit, this was cute

The next day, he came out with a press release saying how much he loved you and that if anyone were to harass you and call themselves a fan, they could call themselves banned from anything and everything he could get them kicked out from 

Any time he could, he would tell you how good you look 

Would proudly say that he’s “MC’s boyfriend” and no security detail or workers would know you as “Zen’s partner” nope, you were MC, the partner of Zen

He would ask you before buying you any clothing he thought would look good

Would slap your ass if you said it was fine

Would also ask before he took any clothing off by tapping it

Everyone who needs reassurance needs a Zen

Because we all know he’s a fucker that’s into body worship

Jaehee:

You visited her at work and were currently spinning around in a desk chair 

When you were waiting for her to finish a meeting before you could see her, you accidentally took a magazine from the lobby

Jaehee was typing while you were flipping through it, waiting for her to go on her lunch break

You made an offhand remark about comparing yourself to the models and she stopped working

Looking up at her, you asked if she was done but she nodded and stood up to walk over to you

“You’re as attractive as any of those models, so don’t you think otherwise for a second” “Jaehee, I was just-“ “Nope, if you’re going to say it’s normal, that just makes it worse. Who cares if you’ve got rolls or extra fat? Sure as hell isn’t me, so you shouldn’t either. You’re more adorable and hot than anyone I’ve known, so I’m saying that your data is incorrect.” “But-“ “No, no buts. You’re wrong” 

Would stop you if you were going to make a remark towards yourself 

She probably has not liked how she looked in the past

If I were her, I’d be fucking dONE with those boobs

So she wouldn’t let you fall into that trap either

Would ask you little questions each day about how were feeling

Understood if there was a day you just really couldn’t like yourself no matter how hard you tried

Always there to tell you that you looked great

Took random pictures of you and would send them to the messenger to say how great you look

Just really supportive and sweet

Would also help you with clothes shopping, especially if it was in the women’s section

Nobody knows what women’s sizes actually mean

Seven:

If you thought you could get away with the things you said, you were w r o n g

“Hah, same,” you said as you pointed to a can of biscuits that popped 

(I’m sorry if that doesn’t make sense. I was referencing the pressurized ones where dough will push out against the opening and look like body rolls)

“Hah, no,” he said as he went to hug you“I’m the only one that can make self-depreciating jokes around here, MC!”

Saeyoung already knew that you didn’t like how your body looked, but hey, he’s gonna try his best to make sure you didn’t 

If you liked cuddling, he would always trace your stretchmarks because “They looked prettier than Elly!”

This shit was real if something was prettier than that cat

Would also smack your ass if he thought you looked better than usual if you said that it was okay

Also would stop working on something if he noticed you weren’t doing too well

Cheesy notes for you to find would be all around the bunker 

He would get rid of anything that made you uncomfortable, too 

Has hacked into social media accounts of people he thought were being douchebags to you 

If he knew it was a bad day, he’d just hug you to let you know he was there

Jumin:

Being around a bunch of people who probably had multiple nutritionists drew attention to yourself if you had to attend any parties or business meals with him 

You absentmindedly said something about it once you had both gotten home from a dinner party

Looking up to Jumin when he got quiet, you saw him with his head cocked to the side and a questioning look on his face

“But you’re far more beautiful than anyone there?” “Tch, I wish I was, Jumin. They’ve all the most expensive trainers and makeup artists to make them look far better than me.” “That’s the difference between them and you, MC. You don’t need anything like that to be stunning. I can get anything you’d like if it was something you enjoy. I could get all the best makeup for you if you were doing it for fun, not if you saw it as an improvement. You can’t improve perfection, my love.”

Realizing he was genuinely confused at how you could, you shook your head slightly

“MC? Is it alright? I didn’t think that you thought of yourself this way. It never crossed my mind, because I thought you were always more beautiful than anything or anyone else. You’re-you’re incredibly attractive, MC. I don’t understand why you compare yourself to them when you’re so much more gorgeous than they could ever be.”

Now, you were sniffling a little bit while noticing your eyes were about to spill over with tears

“Th-thank you, Jumin. That means a lot, really, it does. I always convince myself that you’d rather be with anyone else. I always thought you didn’t like how I looked with suggestions you made.” “MC, I’m so sorry that you thought that. I’d never be with anyone else, because they all pale in comparison. If you meant clothing I picked, I’ll make sure you pick most of it now. I just thought you always looked good in everything. “

From then on, you always woke up to a compliment either in person or part of a good morning text

All your clothing was to be perfectly tailored

He also made sure any department that needed models would have weight diversity 

Also fired any employee that made comments towards you or anyone else that wasn’t standard-model skinny

V: (This’ll be one of the few I write that he’s blind in)

He came back from a meeting and was slightly confused to not hear you 

You heard the door open, though, and tried to make yourself look presentable as you were crying quietly earlier

Even though Jihyun couldn’t see if your face was red, he could tell if you were off

Walking down the staircase to greet him, you were still clearing your throat and trying to wipe at your face

“MC? Are you alright? I wasn’t sure where you were.” “Yeah, it’s all okay. I was just in the room.” “Are you sure that you’re okay? You seem upset. I’m sorry if it was because I came back so late”

dAMMIT JIHYUN

“No, dear, it wasn’t your fault at all. I was just, well, I was kind of upset with how I look.” “But you’re very attractive?” “Jihyun, you can’t even see me.” “Yes, I can, just slightly, you know that. You’re really very good-looking, MC. I feel bad that you can’t see that in yourself. You have stunning eyes, and your cheeks are really soft and cute.”

You knew he was trying to help but sometimes you can’t think like that“Well, I’m still a fat ass.” “Fat doesn’t mean ugly. Fat just means you have more of a person to love.”After this conversation, you were pretty much dragged to the couch

Once you sat down, he practically fell on you

“Sorry! Sorry, I just meant to sit and then, yeah”

You laughed a bit as he moved a bit to still lay on you just more comfortably

“See, MC? More to love” “Yeah, but I don’t love it” “I really really wish you could, because I think it’s the best ever”

He was just trying to make you feel the best you could

After knowing you didn’t like how much weight you had, he tried his best to make you feel confident

Everything has its ups and downs, and he just wanted to make you feel as far up as possible

Okay, again, really very sorry for taking so long. I’ll fix anything that’s not good, and add stuff if I missed it. Bye, for now, nerds!

[marianneforbes]

A response to “36 things wrong with American women”.

Up until now I have spent most of my time bashing feminists and SJW, so I figured I would balance it out a little bit with some bashing of stupid men. For those of you who don’t know who Roosh V is, he is a YouTube creator and pick-up artist who, despite trying his best, can’t seem to grab the attention of beautiful women. This has led him to become quite bitter. He is the creator of the site ‘Return of Kings’, where he has gained quite a following from other likeminded men. He also has had to deal with his fare shae of problems, tlike being denied big muscled white men in movies, and instead female leads (Mad Max Fury Road and Star Wars Episode VII).

 Original video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FCm8C21pXdQ

Number 1: They’re fat. Fat girls are simply unattractive, so why should you waste time dating a fat chick?

Some men do find chubby girls attractive. It’s true that fat people are generally not considered that attractive, and for good reasons too. However, women are not the only fat ones. Last time I checked, men can be obese too.

Number 2: They’re constantly glued to their smart phones. These girls are addicted to an electronic device and are less capable of human interaction.

Well, surfing on the internet on your phone while you’re sitting on a bus or train is a way to kill the time, especially if you’re alone. Are you telling me that American men are not?

Number 3: They cut their hair short. They are so lazy to maintain long hair that they make themselves ugly on purpose.

Long hair can be quite difficult to maintain, and cost a lot of money. Also, some women simply do look better in short hair. If your head size is on the thin side, a short haircut will give your face a lift and make it look rounder. Also, what is a short haircut to you? Does shoulder’s length long hair count as short or does it qualify as long?

Number 4: They are more impressed with the crappy DJ or instagram celebrity than a doctor who saves lives.

Actually, most women want financial security, so the doctor has a bigger chance of scoring when it comes to long lasting relationships. Maybe the DJ has better chances of scoring a one-night stand.

Number 5: They think being overly sarcastic is a quality that men love. Wrong. Sarcasm is rude and doesn’t show that you have a good sense of humor.

I agree that being overly sarcastic is not a good trait, though the same goes for men! However, sometimes it can be a good coping mechanism for when you’re really down, and that is fine.

Number 6: They listen to stupid websites when it comes to pleasing men.

Yes, but it’s more for fun. We look at them and then have a good laugh with our friends over how stupid those sites are. Mostly we listen to friends and family members when we want to be serious.  

Number 7: They don’t know how to cook. Their idea of cooking is using the microwave or preparing macaroni & cheese, and some women don’t even know how to do that.

Cooking takes time, and the majority of people don’t have the time to spend all day long preparing a delicious gourmet dinner.

Number 8: They wear flip flops when they’re not on the beach, or not at the pool, or not in their house. Flip flops are the laziest footwear that you could put on, and it screams to the world that you simply don’t care.

And what obligation do women have to care what other people think about them? No, I would never wear flip flops outside of the beach/pool, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to tell others what they shouldn’t wear. To each his own.

Number 9: They have condoms in their dresser, because they are fully prepared to sleep with random men. A man only wants a girl to be a slut for himself not the entire town.

Let me tell you something you probably didn’t know: Women can get pregnant from sex.  

Number 10: They idolize drug addicted celebrities aiming to mimic their braindead behavior. The role models for today’s girl is Kim Kardashian, not a woman who have achieved things in life.

What women would you like them to worship? Kim Kardashian, for all the shit she gets, has achieved things in life. She is the owner of her own company and has designed her own brand. 

Number 11: They acquire pets instead of putting in to work to woo a quality man. When a woman gives up in life she buys a dog. This is sad.

Not all women get a dog when they give up on life. Some women get a cat.

But in all seriousness, pets have proven to reduce stress and are great therapy. Why shouldn’t a woman be allowed to have a pet? If all men were like you (thankfully they aren’t), can you really blame them for preferring a pet to a man?

Number 12: They don’t know how to be sexy and feminine, only trashy and slutty. Modern day women have no idea how to be a lady on the streets.

What on earth are you talking about? Not all women wants to be feminine. Some of them want to be more masculine. And how are they acting trashy and slutty?

Number 13: They have standards that are way beyond their attractiveness. Even an average girl thinks that she should land her prince charming.

As much as I hate to say this, I do agree with this. However, it should be noted that men do this as well, so it’s a two way street (you seem to be one of those men).

Number 14: They think that having a good job means that they are a quality girl and a good catch. News flash, guys don’t care about your stupid office job.

So let me get this straight: Women should care about your fancy doctor-education, but men don’t have to care about ours’?

Number 15: They wear pajamas in public. This is retarded.

Do they, or are you just talking about them wearing jump suits when they go for a quick errand to the store?

Number 16: They enjoy books like Twilight, Fifty Shades of Grey and The Secret. They are addicted to braindead entertainment that makes them dumber.

Those books are easy to read and doesn’t require much thinking. They serve one purpose and one purpose only: fulfilling the desire and sexual fantasies of women.

Are you telling me men don’t enjoy “braindead” entertainment just for the sake of entertainment?

Number 17: Their idea of traveling is going to a beach or France. They have no idea how to use travel to learn about other cultures.

You’re only half right. Women do enjoy culture, and mostly when they travel they do both.

Also, what is wrong with France? France has a rich history, beautiful culture and good food. Paris is one of the most beautiful cities in the world. I make a trip there every second year.

Number 18: They have too many trashy tattoos. Too many American women these days look like prison convicts.

Believe it or not, they are allowed to have those tattoos. Some men find it attractive, while others don’t. I doubt most men care, though.

Number 19: They are proud to be dating many men at the same time, as if they were men themselves. These days women have no shame in hiding the facts that they are sluts.

If both parties are comfortable with it, who are you or I to judge?

Number 20: They do and say things in bed even the first time that you have sex with them, as if they were an immature porn actress. You know that they are doing that to every other guy as well?

Then stop being a pussy and tell them that it doesn’t turn you on!

Number 21: They cock block their own girlfriends when they are jealous. They can’t have it that their friends meet someone while they don’t.

Yes, there are some women who do this, and it’s shitty and annoying as fuck. I can give you this one. Luckily none of the women I know are like this.

Number 22: They make lame excuses for not putting effort into their appearances. It’s seems like a raise to the bottom for every girl to look as homely as possible.

Women have no obligation to anyone to put effort into appearance, especially not for you. 

Number 24: They always lie the first time you get them in bed by saying “I’ve never done this before”. You know that’s a lie, but they continue saying that for every guy they sleep with.

Considering how you only a few posts ago said that you only want them to be a slut for you, are you really that surprised?

By the way, where is point number 23?

Number 25: They confuse being a challenge by being whiny and annoying. They have no idea how stupid they look when they give men a hard time for spending time with them.

I’m guessing you are talking about all those women rejecting you when you walk up to them and expect them to just fall into your arms. They are not obligated to spend time with you, and the one looking like a fool is you, not them!

Number 26: They watch way too much TV, letting it influence their personalities. When you go on a date with an American girl, you are really dating a combination of characters she has seen on television.

Huh? This doesn’t make any sense at all.

Number 27: On their way home from their comfortable office job, they take off their work shoes and put on dirty sneakers. They have no idea how much of a slob the look when they do this.

WHAT? Maybe they change their shoes because they don’t want to ruin their good shoes, and because it’s more comfortable walking home in sneakers as well as easier to run in in case someone jumped on them.

Number 28: They age their skin prematurely to fake tans. Maybe they’ll look like this week or next month, but in a few years’ time they are going to look like a razor.

Considering how you have in many of your points been calling them “girls” instead of “women”, indicating that you don’t view them as adults, can you blame them?

Number 29: They insist on eating pizza or other fattening food after a night of binge drinking. And then they wonder why they are so fat.

Because greasy food clears up the head, and balances out the amount of alcohol. Greasy food is a great and tasty cure for hangover.

Number 30: They are obsessed with cupcakes. An American woman gets satisfaction from eating tiny baked goods.

Cupcakes are delicious. Enough said.

Number 31: They care more about maintaining a career than a good home or family. She has made money the most important part of her life, more than having kids or a good husband.

Unless the husband is the CEO of a large company, it is almost a requirment for the woman to work so the family can survive and for the kids to have a bright future. Besides, raising a family takes time and dedication, and if you don’t feel up to the task then you are doing the responsible thing to not start a family. The world is over-populated anyway, we don’t need more brats to ruin it. One final thing before we move on, you are not a good man so I doubt you’d be a good husband. If a woman wants kids and a good husband, you’re not the man she would go for.

Number 32: They rarely wear high heels, one of the most feminine behaviors that a woman can do.

Have you ever worn high heels? Because if you did, you would know that they are extremely uncomfortable, and bad for your back and posture. Why should a woman put your pleasure above her health? Neither is it a requirement for a woman to be feminine.  

Now, I wear high heels on a regular basis because I am quite short, but I don’t blame women who don’t want to wear it. It takes time getting used to.

Number 33: They think dining out and eating food slathered with butter and salt makes them cultured, and they call themselves a foodie while they do it. It just makes them fat instead.

Ditch the woman if she’s so stupid, or just tell her that it doesn’ make her cultural.

Number 34: They don’t speak any foreign languages. They think that America is at the center of the universe.

Olen huomannut että suuri osa Amerikkalaisista uskovat näin, ei vain naisia. Ovat varmasti Amerikkalaiset, jotka tietävät että maailmassa on muita maita, mutta se on stereotyyppi, että eniten heistä eivät tiedä tavallisesta geografiasta.

Eller hur? I Hetalia så bestod ju Amerikas världskarta av bara Amerika.

If a woman speaks more than two languages, English is most likely the foreign language she speaks, while the language that’s foreign to you is her mother tongue.

Number 35: Their intellectual curiosity doesn’t go beyond the pages of Gocker or Buzzfeed. To get them to actually learn about the truths of the world is impossible:

I think most women understand that those sites are garbage. It’s just fun to look at them and poke fun of them.

Number 36: They go on and on about the stupidest personal drama and nonsense, thinking that the day to day things that they come across are critically important to anyone else.

What are they supposed to talk about? The presidential election? I don’t know if you are aware of that, but that subject is a downer? As is the situation in the Middle East. Important stuff as both of those subjects are, you can’t expect a person to only focus on it.

[princess-sweetybee]

Weight...Not Too Big To Be Little

So, I read this article when it came out last year, and tucked it away, and found it circulating on tumblr recently so I re-read it. This time, I really spent time reflecting on it, and myself, because so much it in feels familiar.

I considered where best to spill my guts and decided here, on my “little” blog, because it’s about as anonymous as it can be, so I can be as honest as I want, but also because my struggles with my weight are bound up in my identity as a little.

I’ve struggled almost my entire life with my weight, although in hindsight (and I’ve thought this for many years) I wonder if my weight in my adult life would never have become a problem if my family hadn’t poked at me when I was young. I’m Thai-American, which for me meant I grew up in the US but was still deeply enmeshed in Thai culture. From about the time I was nine or ten, right up until I married, my family and family friends called me หมูอ้วน (moo ouan) which literally translates to “fat pig.” It was an affectionate way of calling me chubby, I think (I hope) but also, since I have one foot firmly planted in the US and English is my first language, it dug deep because (see above) it actually means “fat pig.” But really, I wasn’t fat. I was larger then most of my family, yes, but they were twig thin with very different body types. I didn’t realize until later in life that I actually take after my father’s side of the family, with a sturdier, never going to be stick thin, build. And yes, the absolute number for my weight was a little higher, but that’s because I was all muscle, especially my legs (my 10-16 year old self didn’t understand that...I just saw numbers).

When I was in high school, my mom constantly harped about my weight. And everyone else in the family always commented on how chubby I was. Every single time they saw me. I was 5’4”, 120 lbs, 34-24-34 measurements. In hindsight, I probably looked pretty good. If I was that size/weight now I’d be thrilled to pieces...although I’d probably have another set of body issues...because most of us do. But I worried all the time about my weight, and when I hit college, my mom helped me go on Jenny Craig, because my weight had crept up to 130 lbs. And the cycle of cutting way back on calories to lose a few pounds, only to gain it back plus a little more, began. After doing that a few times, and being constantly (but sweetly) shamed for my weight, I’d go through periods of just “I give up” and would eat what I wanted, for comfort, which only compounded the problem - and yeah, I get it, that’s on me. But no one ever spoke to me about...hey, let’s not worry about the numbers, let’s just stay focused on eating a balanced diet (I was told “should you really be eating that?”) and staying active (yeah, my family was not active).

My mom was always telling me how to dress to hide all my flaws too (I was 13 when this started). Now that I think about it, what I learned early on was (1) everyone is looking at me, judging me, finding me lacking, and not wanting to see my fatness, and (2) it should matter to me, all the time, what other people think about the way I look. When I chose dresses or shirts to wear, they needed to have sleeves of some sort to hide my chubby arms (when this started, my arms were not chubby, but they were not twigs). Blouses needed to hit in the right spot to hide my tummy (I didn’t actually have one...I do now, that’s how I know I didn’t have one then). I came away from this struggling to ever feel like anything looked good on me, a problem I know lots of people suffer from. I can spend a literal day shopping for clothes, and not find one thing to buy because I can’t stand the way I look in anything. I ended up wearing clothes that were too big, in a sad attempt to hide myself. I got criticized for that too. I’m pretty sure my mom did this from a place of love, at least I hope she did.

She sort of figured things out by the time I hit my thirties. I had told her that she needed to stop picking on me about my weight. Then she was complimenting me if I looked like I lost a little weight. And encouraged me not to buy shirts that I was swimming in. But, when she shopped with me, she also made sure to help me by selecting styles that would hide my flaws, instead of just saying....wear what you want, wear what makes you feel good.

I still struggle with my weight sometimes. I look in the mirror and hate what I see, but am resigned to it. I focus on eating healthy, but I don’t deny myself the things I like to eat...I’ve learned over the last 30 years that that just leads to eating too much of it when I can’t take it anymore, after I’ve been obsessing about not eating it for however long. I’ve tried logging my food in a journal off and on for the past ten years. I understand the psychology behind it, but we’re not all the same, we’re not all average. What I find is that yeah, it might help me eat less for a while because it makes me mindful of what I ate, but it swings too far. I end up not eating, because I want to keep the journal fairly empty, and then all I do is think about food, and I’m starving. I mean it, my stomach growls from hunger all day long. And frankly, if I go too long without eating, my blood sugar drops, I get sluggish and crabby, and all that good stuff. There’s a reason “hangry” is a word. So now, I try to keep good, healthy foods that I like to eat on hand. And I’m trying really hard to exercise 30 minutes a day. And I’m feeling pretty good about it, because I can walk 6-7 miles in a hilly city, and not be ready to pass out.

So what does all of this have to do with being a little? I struggle now and then with the idea that I’m too big to be little. That I’m too chubby/fat to wear cute clothes. It doesn’t help that a lot of places that sell really cute clothes go up to XL, which equates to like a size 6-8 (I’m at like 16-18). Thank goodness for places like Torrid. My Daddy spends a lot of time reminding me that I’m a little and it doesn’t matter what I weigh, what I wear, or what I look like. Little is just who I am, who I’ve always been, all the time, and when I’m 70, I’ll still be a little (that’s a mind boggling thought right there).

Being here, seeing so many tumblrs here in the BDSM and DD/lg community who are so accepting and inclusive, has gone a long way to helping me reconsider how I think about myself, and also how I think about what others think of me. I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m getting closer to thinking... “I’m kind, and will always be kind to others, but I frankly don’t give a flying fuck what you think about me, or if I’ve sufficiently hidden my ‘ugly’ parts so that you don’t feel uncomfortable.” I’ve spent a lot of years not being in photographs, and not swimming in public pools (and I love to swim), and all the other things that the folks in the article talk about. My son is eight, and I’ve only gone swimming with him in public once, because I was embarrassed to be seen in a swimming suit. He loves to swim. We’re fortunate that when he was little and learning to swim, we had our own swimming pool, so I swam with him a lot. But now that we’ve moved, we don’t have a pool anymore, so our swimming is limited to public pools and hotel pools...and I’ve denied us the fun of swimming together. That stuff has got to stop. And thinking about stuff like this, and writing it out, is helping me to get there. So thanks. And maybe one day, someone will come across this post, and it’ll help get them thinking about stuff too. Maybe for themselves, or it’ll help shape how they relate to their kids, or other people.

[theconservativebrief]

The first 30 seconds of the trailer for Insatiable, a new comedy series coming to Netflix on August 10, introduces the story of a chubby high schooler grappling with bullies, unrequited crushes, and the FOMO that comes from nights spent on the couch eating ice cream.

It’s all a fairly standard setup for what looks to be a show about modern teens — perhaps even one that, like Bo Burnham’s Eighth Grade, is benefitted by the fact that its lead looks more like an average high schooler than the glamorous 20-something stars of shows like Riverdale.

But then the trailer takes a turn. Patty, our main character, gets punched in the face, has her jaw wired shut for months, and thereby loses so much weight that by the time she goes back to school in the fall, she’s a bonafide (thin) hottie. It’s with this newfound power that she can apparently get her revenge on the kids who’d excluded her in the past.

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Because no one has officially reviewed the show yet, the trailer is all that we have to determine what the rest of Insatiable will look like and what themes it will deal with. But based on that one minute and 30 seconds, the reaction has been … not great.

Critics on Twitter and elsewhere have called the premise of the show fatphobic, triggering to people with eating disorders, and a regressive lens through which to view fat people’s stories. The Good Place star Jameela Jamil, who has advocated for body autonomy in the past, tweeted about how there’s a problem with implying that the only way to “win” in life is to diet:

Kids who bully are just miserable, badly raised arseholes. It is not, and should not ever be YOUR problem that they have a problem with you. You don’t have to conform. You don’t have to placate. Revenge isn’t a good use of your time and energy. And starving yourself is

— Jameela Jamil (@jameelajamil) July 20, 2018

Writer Roxane Gay also noted the trailer’s flawed logic that fat women can’t stand up for themselves and must undergo physical trauma to become their best, skinny selves:

Ahhh yes, a fat girl could never stand up for herself while fat and of course she has to be assaulted and have her mouth wired shut before she becomes her best self, her skinny self. Good to know!

— roxane gay (@rgay) July 22, 2018

There’s now even a Change.org petition that, as of publication, has garnered more than 145,000 signatures to stop Netflix from airing the show, on the grounds that releasing it will be damaging to young girls’ self-esteem and cause or trigger eating disorders.

One day after the trailer premiered, on July 20, Insatiable’s writer and producer Lauren Gussis defended the show against critics, writing that the inspiration was based on her own experience with an eating disorder as a teenager, and that comedy is a means of dealing with our vulnerabilities.

Star Debby Ryan, a former Disney Channel actress, took to Instagram to defend the show, writing that it was a satirical look at “how difficult and scary it can be to go to move through the world in a body,” and assured viewers that the humor is “not in the fat-shaming.” Alyssa Milano, who also appears in the trailer, said in a 30-minute Twitter video that she “totally gets” the backlash to the trailer, but hopes people will wait to see the full show before judging it.

This, above all, is what the creators and stars are attempting to communicate. But for people who are so accustomed to seeing their stories told onscreen via the same harmful tropes, the Insatiable trailer could be seen as just another exhausting example of the negative ways TV and movies portray fat people.

To understand why the Insatiable trailer hit such a nerve, you have to look at pop culture’s terrible track record of telling fat people’s stories.

On July 23, artist and writer Kiva Bay asked his Twitter followers to name the fat-hating moment in media that has stuck with them, starting with the scene in Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets when Aunt Marge inflates to such great proportions that she literally floats away.

Responses ranged from Bridget Jones being consistently described as fat (in the books, she weighs 130 pounds) to pretty much the entire premise of Pixar’s Wall-E, which depicts a futuristic dystopia in which everyone isn’t just overweight, but share the negative characteristics associated with being overweight: that they are lazy and stupid, and that all they care about is passively consuming whatever’s in front of them.

The problem persists even in media that’s often held up as progressive — many people in the thread called out Brooklyn Nine-Nine and Parks & Recreation’s recurring fat jokes, while others brought up the inherent fatphobia of shows like Gilmore Girls and 30 Rock in which objectively thin main characters have an obsession with unhealthy food.

A 2009 Jezebel piece described the “skinny glutton” phenomenon as “a sure indicator to the audience that these women are Single, Quirky and, (because they’re thin, only gently) Sad” because casting an actually fat actor in the role would, the thinking goes, be too pathetic.

The Insatiable trailer also reprises an especially troubling Hollywood practice: the fat suit. When a character actually is meant to be fat, instead of casting a bigger actor in the role, often a thin actor will wear a fat suit.

We tend to see them used in flashbacks to a time when a now-thin character was fat, like Monica in Friends, Schmidt in New Girl, or Ryan Reynolds in Just Friends. The “humor” comes not only from seeing actors wearing a silly costume, like Eddie Murphy in Norbit or The Nutty Professor, but also from the ability to crack jokes at a past character’s fatness with the knowledge that the present character is laughing now, too.

Few uses of fat suits, however, are more controversial than the 2001 film Shallow Hal, in which Jack Black plays a man who has to be hypnotized to find Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit sexy enough to be his girlfriend. Not only is the entire premise pretty gross, but, as a Telegraph piece noted after comparisons were drawn to the recent Amy Schumer film I Feel Pretty, the movie consistently uses fat bodies as punchlines:

“The camera linger[s] over every dimple and crease on the physical form of Ivy Snitzer, Paltrow’s body double, and contrasting the sight of Paltrow in revealing booty-shorts with a large woman spilling out of her clothes. Jokes are endlessly made about her appetite, while every chair Rosemary sits on appears perilously close to collapsing (it’s a sight-gag that is repeated twice on-screen, along with a deleted scene involving a caved-in bed).”

That contrast — the visual of the character wearing a fat suit versus the character without it — can have the effect of implying that fatness, when constantly compared to the superior thinness, is grotesque and deserves to be laughed at.

That’s the history Insatiable is drawing on when it puts Debby Ryan in a fat suit, regardless of intention.

And there is yet another pattern that Insatiable seems to fall into: the idea that weight loss is the road to happiness. Friends’ Monica and New Girl’s Schmidt are both characters who don’t accomplish their goals until they lose weight. The entire wellness industry is based around this false promise — that losing weight is the key to getting whatever you’ve always wanted, whether that’s love, money, or revenge. (See: Khloe Kardashian’s extremely on-the-nose reality series, Revenge Body.)

In an essay for Medium titled “To the writers of Insatiable,” fat activist and writer Your Fat Friend wrote about the problem with this narrative, pointing out that not only do 97 percent of dieters gain back what little weight they lose (or more), but that weight loss is often the only narrative that fat people get to have.

She continues:

I have never seen a fat life like mine on screen. I have not seen fat people recklessly, happily in love, as I have been. I have not seen thin partners struggle to accept their own attraction to fat people. I have not seen fat people getting promoted, getting fired, working hard, succeeding. I have only seen fat people fail. Anything else, I have learned, is reserved for the penitent thin.

In short, fat characters are defined entirely by their fatness, and only get to become multi-dimensional once they lose the weight. It’s a trope that the Insatiable trailer even touches on in a meta way: When Patty returns to school, newly thin, she muses, “Now I could be the former fatty who turned into a brain, or an athlete, or a princess,” as if these character traits can’t apply to fat people because their main identifier is already “fat.” Until we see the show, it isn’t clear where this strain of self-awareness’s endpoint lies, or how far the series will take its meta-understanding of fat tropes, but it could be a promising sign.

So yes, the Insatiable trailer, as of right now, is still just a trailer; there’s still a whole show to come and be watched and discussed, starting on August 10. But many viewers are worried that the groundwork seems to be laid for a series about the same stories of fat people we’ve seen thousands of times over.

And though its stars and creators promise the show is an empathetic look at the pressures modern teenagers face surrounding body image, well, don’t we already sort of … know them? Above all, what’s necessary is an empathetic look at fat people in general: one that ideally doesn’t involve weight loss — and certainly no fat suit.

Original Source -> Why 150,000 people are calling for Netflix to cancel the teen comedy Insatiable before it debuts

via The Conservative Brief