Echoes
Pairing: Beau Arlen x F. Reader
Summary: Beau has another rough night, but you help him face a harder truth.
AN: Yep, that’s right! I’m back with another little drabble for the Take Me Home series, set a while after S.I.N.G. This time, we’re in for some angst and comfort.
Word Count: 950 words
Tags/Warnings: Angst, PTSD, implied survivor’s guilt, hurt/comfort, fluff
Catch up on TMH: ⤵️
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He heard it before he saw it.
That was the worst part of it really. He didn’t see it coming, even when he should have.
Randy hadn’t either.
Beau just saw the aftermath—a spray of scarlet that coated a stack of wooden crates carrying tens of thousands in cocaine. He saw the look of permanent shock frozen on Randy’s face as his body dropped to the concrete. It was a heavy sound. The sound of lifelessness.
The echoes of it rang in Beau’s ears, along with the single shot of a bullet tearing through his vest.
Beau’s eyes opened on a sharp intake of breath.
They found darkness, and the familiar bedroom he shared with you. The only reason he could see it was because of the solitary window to his left, with slivers of moonlight filtering in between the blinds. He was lying on his back. His face, neck, arms, and bare chest were coated with a thin layer of sweat.
Turning his head to his right, he saw that you were still asleep. Your face was peaceful as you hugged your pillow. He was jealous.
Despite that, he resisted the urge to smooth a hand over your wild bedhead. He didn't want to chance waking you. Instead, he slowly got out of bed. He went into the bathroom to splash some cool water on his face. All the while, he ignored the shadows under his eyes, and the way his beard had gotten a bit scraggly. He’d trim in the morning.
He ventured into the living room and lit up the fireplace instead of turning any of the lights on. There he broke open the bottle of bourbon he kept above the fridge and grabbed a glass, and he sat in the middle of the couch, watching but not watching the fire.
His thoughts were like its flames, flickering from yellowed orange to sparking with red. Then back to yellow again.
Beau only perked up when he heard a floorboard creak. He saw you in the bedroom doorway, holding a fuzzy blanket around your shoulders. Your face was soft and concerned. He gave you a half-smile that didn’t reach his eyes as you drew near.
You were warmer than him when you sat down and wrapped your blanket around his frame from behind. He clasped your arm against his chest, and you laid your head on his shoulder.
“The same dream?” you asked. Your voice was hardly above a whisper in the quiet; the fire crackling was almost louder.
Beau paused, but he nodded. His lips raised humorlessly.
“Told you I wasn’t gonna be easy to live with,” he said, though he held your hand. “‘M sorry. Didn’t mean to wake you.”
You restrained a sigh and kissed his shoulder.
“Only a month in, but I think we’re doing well so far,” you said with a smile, even if it soon dipped. “You’ve been having nights like these even before you moved in.”
Again, he nodded and sipped at his glass.
“I know. I’m sorry,” he replied.
You shook your head. “It’s not your fault. But I’m going to say this again, because I love you. I really think you should try talking to someone.”
“Hey, I talk. Apparently I talk a bit too much, according to Jenny,” he managed to quip. He quirked a brow at you. “According to you too, I might add.”
You smiled in amusement, jostling him in your arms and disturbing the equilibrium of his bourbon.
“You know what I mean, Beau Arlen, and don’t pretend otherwise,” you warned him, but you paired it with a kiss to his scruffy cheek. “Therapy’s helped me a lot. I think it could do the same for you, with the right person… If you gave it a chance.”
Beau was quiet at that. Even though you understood his hesitation, it always hurt your heart to see him like this. You angled yourself toward him, so that he’d see your face and meet your eyes.
“You don’t have to do anything alone,” you said. They were words he’d told you too, more than once in the past year since you’d met him. “And I know I didn’t know Randy, but I doubt your friend would want you to suffer like this.”
Beau’s gaze fell away from yours then, drifting back to the fire. You brought him back by squeezing his free hand.
“Do you really think he’d want that for you?” you asked.
Beau couldn’t answer you in words; his throat was tight at the moment. His lips quirked, and he eventually nodded in understanding. He finished his glass before setting it down at the table. He could stop himself at the one for tonight, and that was a damn decent feat.
He leaned over and pressed a kiss to your forehead, a silent thanks and an acknowledgement all in one. Eventually, he was able to say it in words.
“Okay. I hear you,” he said.
You nodded with a sad smile. “Good.”
You curled yourself under his arm and sighed, resting at his side. Beau leaned you both back more comfortably on the couch. He allowed himself to let out a deep breath as well.
“Thanks,” he said.
“Mhmm,” you replied, even though your eyes were already closed. He knew then that you were halfway back to sleep. His lips tugged upward.
“I love you too, you know,” he added quietly.
“Mhmmmm,” you repeated, drawing it out more.
Beau’s smile became more genuine. Later he’d carry you back to bed, blanket and all. For now though, he made some small peace with his thoughts as he stared back into the fireplace.
This time, he actually felt its warmth.
AN: There we go, short and bittersweet. ❤️
Ko-Fi Me ☕
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