#Ed shops Stede wanders

[wearfinethingsalltoowell]

Real OTP personality test is when they go to the store which one does the shopping and which one follows while eating grapes they have not bought

[piratecaptainscaptainpirates]

Idea for a childhood friends AU:

so it's a dark and stormy and gloomy day a couple months after Stede's birthday, and tonight his father finally agreed to drop him off at Walmart after school so he can spend his birthday money. He always gets just money for his birthday, and he feels guilty for feeling a bit sad about it, because he knows he should be happy that his father just handed him like five hundred dollars, but he just really wants to have someone care enough to wrap a present for him and pick out something he'd like. It just feels like his parents throwing money at him to fix the problem again (the problem is him).

So Stede wanders around the store, and he knows it'll be late before anyone comes back to pick him up, and his father sent along some money so he can grab lunch at the restaurant further down in the shopping center. His father, who has no grip at all on the reality of how much things cost, has sent easily triple what he'd ever need to get himself dinner, so he's planning on using the leftovers to buy just, like, a ton of chocolate. And Stede figures he'll spend his birthday money on a new video game system or something, and when he gets to the game aisle, there's another kid standing there.

Ed took the bus here after school to buy that week's groceries. It's always a bit of a bummer, because his mama says to only get exactly what's on the list for that week so they don't run out of food stamps by the end of the month, and Ed has to look longingly at other kids getting snacks and candy and know he can't have any. They've never been able to jump through the right hoops to get an amount of money in food stamps that would actually really help, Ed's dad makes just too much and no one cares that he spends his entire paycheck down at the pub. Ed keeps track of how much they've got left to spend in his mind, and tonight, he's had to leave off some of the items on his mama's list because he knows how to make these calculations and he knows the cheap boxes of spaghetti will get them a lot further than the dinosaur nuggets she put on there just so he can have something fun. He lives close to the store, it's an easy walk, but he hates having to carry everything back himself so he likes to waste some time in the video games aisle just looking, and imagining what it would be like to get a new game for his birthday when he knows good and damn well his birthday present will always be a trip to the local pizza buffet and two dollars for the arcade games.

so when Stede rounds the corner to see this kid a bit younger than him staring longingly at the latest NES games, all he can think about is how much he wishes he had someone to play with.

And the thing is: Stede has more money in his pockets than he could ever spend, and his parents don't know how much things cost, and this kid is standing there shivering in just a baggy t-shirt and jeans that someone has ironed to make them seem nicer than they are even though they're scuffed to hell and back, and all he can think is man, you look lonely, and I'm real lonely, too.

They get to chatting, and they come up with a brilliant plan. Stede buys a new NES and a couple games, and they're going to keep it at Ed's house so they can play together. They don't know it, not yet, but they're going to have a couple Super Mario-themed decorations at their wedding, because that game was their very favorite. And Stede maybe knows enough about the world already to know he can't just offer to buy Ed a new jacket, they barely know each other and he doesn't want to embarrass his new friend, but he's going to "accidentally" pay for the food Ed's getting, too, not to mention all the fun snack food and candy Ed helps him pick out.

Stede's going to wind up staying for dinner at Ed's house that night, and it'll be the best meal he's ever had, and when they're done playing games Stede's going to "accidentally" leave his jacket on Ed's bed. There's not a time after this that Stede won't accompany Ed on grocery runs, and he's going to make sure Ed and his mama mysteriously always find their pantry full despite the food stamp tally not budging. Ed's going to get to go on two trips to the pizza buffet every year, because his mama treats Stede to one, too, and Stede's going to help Ed apply for a scholarship to the fancy school he goes to across town. They're even, he says, because Ed always lets him check his homework for the right answers.

Just two kids helping each other out in whatever ways they can, and not really knowing when they first meet that neither of them are ever going to go without a friend, not ever again.

[forpiratereasons]

meeting stede bonnet

a slow meandering through June. prompt eight: family

day 1 | day 2 | day 3 | day 4 | day 5 | day 6 | day 7 | day 8 | day 9 | day 10

-

Stede Bonnet was having a very good morning. The sun was shining. The birds were singing. He had a great pin on today: a rose, in rainbow colours.

And he’d woken up with Ed, sleep-soft and warm and drowsy in his arms.

Hard to beat that. It didn’t even matter that Stede was running late to work. Because Ed Teach was a snuggler, and was not bothered in the least by morning breath when kisses were involved, and was really enthusiastic about the idea that a thing worth doing was a thing worth doing twice.

Yes, it was a very good morning.

“Good morning, crew!” Stede called out as he entered the bookshop. He shook a box of sorry-I’m-late pastries at the staff currently hovering around the check-out counter. “Hello, morning!”

Roach clapped Oluwande on the shoulder and said, inexplicably, “Nope. Nope, this is not for me, not today,” before he shuffled off.

Frenchie followed with an apologetic smile. “I’d love to stick around for this,” he said, “but I really don’t want to.”

Stede frowned. He looked back at Oluwande, who sighed, resignedly, and Lucius, who—“Lucius, you weren’t on the schedule today.”

“I’m not actually here,” Lucius said quickly.

“Yes, you are. I can see you.”

“That’s not really what he meant,” Oluwande said. He blew out another breath, closed his eyes for a moment, then said, in a not-at-all-convincingly casual tone, “So, Stede. Have a good—night? Last night?”

“Plan B?” Lucius whispered to him, before Stede could respond.

“Absolutely Plan B,” Oluwande confirmed, with considerable relief. Lucius patted the counter and disappeared.

“As a matter of fact,” Stede said, determined not to let his very strange staff get in the way of his very good morning, “I did have a good night.”

He paused, waiting to see if Oluwande was going to ask him to elaborate.

“Good,” Oluwande said eventually. “Good. That’s good. I had like, just a regular night. Regular, boring old night! Pizza night. Good to have a night like that some nights.”

“’Course. Sure.”

Stede waited again. There seemed to be something they were waiting for, but—

“Right, well, thanks for the pastries,” Oluwande said suddenly, just as Stede caught sight of Lucius slipping out of the back hallway, giving two thumbs up. “Oh, um, I just remembered, I left you some invoices to check. In your office. On your desk.”

Stede didn’t usually do invoicing until Monday afternoons—always the slowest days of the week—but he snagged a pain au chocolate anyway and made his way down to his office.

He picked up the first invoice in the pile, and then found what had been tucked underneath it: a book.

The Joy of Gay Sex.

Ah, Stede thought.

For a long time, that was all he thought. He kept trying to think the next thought, the one that ought to come after it, but he just kept circling around that same one. Ah. Right.

He wandered, slightly stunned, back out to the counter, where Roach, Frenchie, Lucius, and now also Jim had materialized. Even Wee John, who was not even Stede’s employee but who belonged to Frenchie in some way or another, had taken up residence in one of the shop’s armchairs. They all looked at Stede expectantly.

Stede looked at them.

They looked at Stede.

Stede said, “I’m gay.”

“Oh, thank god,” Lucius blurted. “For a minute there I thought we’d got it wrong.”

“Just a jumping off point,” Frenchie said, rubbing Lucius’ back while he caught his breath. “The book. Some of it’s a little outdated, but it’s a classic. It’s a start.”

Surprisingly, it was Jim who added, “I emailed you some websites, too. For the more updated stuff. Read it, be safe, never talk to me about any of this again.”

“It’s a bit like—being family,” Oluwande said, and everyone nodded along with him. “We watch out for one another, when we can.”

There was something thick and rough in Stede’s throat. Something hot behind his eyes. He tried several times to think of something to say, but in the end all he could muster was a small, tight, “Thank you.”

“And if you happened to get that guy’s number,” Roach said with a sharp grin, a wicked wink, as Stede flushed instantly, “his assistant is looking for him.”

[dracothelizard]

Ooh, I like your giveaway! What about... Stede and Ed in a town in Europe that no one's put them in yet 🤣 Maybe their train breaks down and horrors! there's only one bed at the station hotel!

I stuck 'em on Arnhem after spending some minutes looking up train routes on NS International website!

---

The announcements on the ICE train taking Stede from Schiphol to Duisburg so he can get on a train to Berlin have been multilingual, so when he hears the Dutch announcement, he waits for it to finish. But he sees some of the people around him sigh and mutter under their breath, so he can already guess it’s not good news. His suspicion is confirmed when the English announcement informs them that this train has to stop in Arnhem and they have to change to buses. Of course. Just his luck.

He files out the train with everyone else, and it’s a crowded train for a Friday evening. He’s clearly not the only one trying to get to Germany, and the harried NS employees guide him to the bus area in front of the station, where several buses are waiting. Stede drags his suitcase along, and in his mind, he can already hear his father’s criticism for failing to get to Berlin. It’s his first business trip on his father’s behalf, and he knows his father and the Badmintons are expecting Stede’ll fuck it up somehow.

Bus after bus leaves, the drivers telling them in English and Dutch and German that the buses are full, and Stede sighs as he watches them go. The station employees can’t tell him when another bus will arrive, and Stede walks away while other irritated train travellers tell the station employees to fix the situation.

He wanders over to a Kiosk to get a tea, taking a seat by the window to stare outside and figure out what to do next. Eat? There’re several shops at the station that serve dinner and the pasta from Julia’s looks tempting, but Stede’s not feeling hungry right now. He takes out his phone, fiddling with the NS travel app to figure out his options.

“Couldn’t get on the bus either?”

“What?” Stede looks up to find a man with a short beard and dark curls nodding at his suitcase.

“The bus to Oberhausen?” The man looks up to meet Stede’s eyes, and gosh, those are very nice eyes. Warm and dark and friendly.

“Yes,” Stede manages. He looks away from the man’s eyes to look at the rest of him and oh, a cool leather jacket, dark jeans, leather boots, and a black duffel bag at his feet. “You’re headed that way as well?” Of course he is. Stede chastises himself for asking such a stupid question.

The man nods. “Yes. Can you watch my bag for a bit while I get a coffee?”

“Sure!” Stede replies, raising his own tea. “I’m not going anywhere!”

The man smiles. “You better not!”

Stede smiles back, something fluttering in his stomach, and then he tells himself not to be silly just because a handsome man smiled at him. He can already hear the Badmintons jeering. He feels better now in a lot of ways, after the divorce, after coming out as gay to Mary and the kids, but it hasn’t made things any easier at work. He’s still useless.

The man returns with coffee in a travel cup, then sits down next to Stede. He heaves a sigh. “Fucking train travel, yeah?”

Stede nods, stomach fluttering again because the man’s still here. Sitting next to him. Close enough for their thighs to touch. “Travel in general is rather stressful.” Airplane, train, car… it’s always something.

“Cheers.” The man taps his cup against Stede’s. “I’m Ed. I was meant to be going to Berlin, but—”

“Me too!” Stede brightens, then he grimaces. “Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Ed smiles. “’S all right. Why are you going there?”

They chat as they drink their tea and coffee. Ed’s a musician, not in a band Stede’s heard of, but of course he is, he’s effortlessly cool. Stede feels boring in comparison, but Ed asks questions about Stede’s work that show he’s actually been listening.

“Always wondered what that’d be like,” Ed says, finishing his coffee. “You know, the nine-to-five office desk job.”

“Boring,” Stede replies. “Nowhere near as interesting as what you do!”

Ed shrugs. “It’s a steadier job, though. Easy schedule to keep track of.” He drums his fingers on the table. “Wanna try for a bus again?”

“Yes!” Stede gets up, taking the handle of his suitcase and waiting for Ed to sling his duffel bag over his shoulder. “Let’s hope another one’s arrived.” Maybe Ed will sit near him and they can talk some more, and maybe Stede will get the courage to ask to meet up in Berlin once they get there.

While two other buses have arrived, they’ve departed with passengers while Ed and Stede were enjoying warm drinks and chatting. Stede braces himself for Ed’s annoyance, but Ed just shrugs it off. “My fault for not paying more attention to the buses,” he tells Stede.

“Yes. Should we wait out here for the next one?” Stede asks.

But the station employee can’t give them an arrival time, and while Stede thinks of his next train leaving without him and his father’s anger at Stede being a failure once again, Ed takes him by the elbow and leads him away from the crowd. “I don’t think we’re getting to Berlin tonight.”

Stede takes a deep breath, trying to fight the rising panic. “Agreed.” He looks at Ed, who seems pretty calm. “You’re handling this well.”

Ed shrugs. “Already told you, my schedule’s pretty complicated and there’s always some last-minute change. This is nothing. We’re better off getting a hotel and continuing to Berlin tomorrow.”

“I’m supposed to be at a meeting in Berlin at nine in the morning!” Stede protests, stomach fluttering at the thought of spending the night with Ed. Platonically! As friends! Definitely not more than that, but he has been very nice and friendly, and handsome even under the harsh streetlights.

Ed tilts his head. “And you always do what you’re supposed to?” he murmurs.

“Yes,” he replies immediately. “No. I don’t know. I try to! But it never really works out.” And before he knows it, the whole story of his divorce comes tumbling out, and he’s sure that Ed’ll leave any minute now, but Ed just keeps nodding and looking interested. “So, there you have it,” Stede finishes, feeling rather foolish. “I’m an idiot.”

“Eh, I meet a lot of idiots in my line of work,” Ed tells him. “You’re trying your best, which puts you ahead of a lot of them.” He claps Stede on the shoulder and leaves his hand there. “How about we find a hotel and get a drink in the bar? I think we’ve earned that.”

“Yes,” Stede replies, feeling a little breathless. “Yes, we definitely have.”

(Please assume that they totally go to Julia's for some nice pasta before getting a drink)

[izzy-b-hands]

i will always love Lucius in the walls but

what if he just gave no fucks

Ed wanders up from below deck to reapply his kohl and there's Lucius, on Stede's bed, chilling. Wet towels piled onto a thicker dry one because he does appreciate the work put into the ship and doesn't want to muss it with additional water damage.

"I should stab you in the face."

And Lucius yawns, stretches, and walks over (nude or in a borrowed robe or additional towel, any option is good here to me), smirks, hugs him, and right by his ear whispers

"i fought off a fucking shark and an octopus and will never get the taste of salt water out of my mouth. If you stab me, I'll stab you right back. I fucking dare you, Ed."

And it's a whopping combo of being talked down to and threatened and also being curious abt the shark and octopus story that leaves Ed speechless.

Lucius goes back to the bed and curls up. Promises to go back out on deck after a nap. "Im willing to wear leather for you if that's the new uniform requirement, but you're paying for it."

Ed can't decide exactly what to say first, so he chooses to go find Izzy and let him know they need to stop at the next port with a leather shop and tailor and also does anyone already have Lucius' measurements by chance? not that ed is a little scared to ask him, he isn't, but if he could avoid it at the same time...

[offthefieldsmau]

⚽ 1.93

Therefore, it made sense, reader, that Stede sat down in his chair at the coffee shop with a bit more weight in his bones than usual. Lucius handed him his flat white, and the thankful pain that pinched into Stede’s expression at the gesture paired with the soft whine that escaped.

“Oh, honey,” Lucius cooed as he sat next to him, “rough day?”

Stede nearly moaned in relief at the coffee on his tongue, “Like you wouldn’t believe.”

Right as Stede finished bemoaning about his day onto Pete and Lucius, everyone else was already settled and ready for book club. Stede set his coffee down and reached to the table beside him for his book and journal.

Alas, they were nowhere to be found beside his latte.

“Oh— oh god,” Stede blanked at the bare wood table to his left, “I— I— ohmygod—”

Lucius put a gentle hand on Stede’s shoulder, which shocked him out of his stare enough to look upon his friend in horror.

“Stede, it’s fine—”

“No,” Stede scrambled, trying to give himself a pat-down as if his copy of a 500+ page novel and leather-bound journal would appear from nothing, “no, you don’t— you don’t understand— if I don’t have the copy, then I can’t read along, and if I can’t read along, then I can’t take notes and— and—”

Vaguely, Stede registered someone getting in front of him, trying to talk to him, “Stede, breathe—”

But how could Stede focus? There was no book. There was no journal. Who would keep notes? Who would share those notes with Ed? Fuck, Ed would be so disappointed! And what of everyone else— their thoughts and ideas and theories shouldn’t go unpenned!

“What good am I if I can’t even do that?” The question (or rather, confession,) came from the depths of Stede’s anxieties.

Their fellowship fell silent. All eyes were on him, and it didn’t help the rabbiting inside his chest.

It felt like bees buzzing inside a hive, like Stede’s need to please and fear of inadequacy were mixing in an angry black and yellow swarm between his ribs.

Hands got on either of Stede’s knees and it was then that Stede realized Lucius was the one trying to ground him. His touch was soft, his words even, but Stede’s heart raced. He tried to calm himself, to match his breathing to Lucius. It felt like a losing battle — everything was off kilter.

Stede couldn’t focus. He could hardly register the people around him; his breath was ragged from asphyxia. Eventually he felt that warmth from Lucius leave him as he stared ahead, unfocused.

It was the words that snapped him back to reality:

“‘All that is gold does not glitterNot all those who wander are lost;

The old that is strong does not wither,

Deep roots—’”

“‘Are not reached by the frost’,” Stede’s shaky voice finished the line of the poem before Lucius did. His pale expression and hollow eyes found Lucius again.

Swallowing, he took a few deep breaths with his eyes closed — it was much easier to ground himself after the familiarity of the poem. It was in his bones, branded on him — Stede would never be able to forget it.

Not all those who wander are lost.

He smiled weakly at Lucius, “Thank you,” he whispered.

Lucius patted his shoulder, “Of course,” he flipped the page back to where it was bookmarked from their last reading. As he handed the book over to Stede to take over, Lucius whispered, “Sorry, I read ahead. Couldn’t help myself.”

It made Stede feel right at home, “Don’t worry about it.”

“And you,” Lucius was earnest, “‘don’t worry about it.’ We can talk if you want. We can cancel book club, even.”

“No!” Stede protested, but when he looked back around the crowd all he was met with was sincerity (and lingering concern for his well being.) 

Stede’s smile wasn’t as tight, as restrictive, when he settled back on Lucius. It felt genuine as he replied, “I know, I just— I’d like to keep reading.”

[your-ace-cousin-clover]

My favourite lil niche au that has come out of OFMD is that Stede runs/works at a Lush shop where Ed just wanders in confused/possibly interested in eating soap/blushes at the sight of Stede.

[tinytinybumblebee]

Okay, but imagine mod Stede and Izzy out shopping and Izzy finds a cute plushie (maybe a puppy or a rabbit) and just stands there holding it because he’s not sure how to ask Stede for it.

Aww!!! Maybe they're at a pharmacy picking up some stuff and Izzy wanders around while Stede has remarkably struck up a conversation with another shopper about flowers or something-

As he's wandering around, running his hands over the price signs, his hand eventually lands on something fuzzy. He looks down and spots the soft little rabbit just staring up at him with those glass eyes.

And it's love at first sight, Izzy picks it up, glancing around the isle before hugging it, knowing it's absolutely the most huggable plush he's ever seen :^0

But, how does he bring this home?? So, Izzy is just sorta standing there, just holding the rabbit as he pretends to be looking at the numerous selections of sunscreen. Until he hears the firmilar shoes clicking and sees Stede.

"Ah, there you are, quite the explorer aren't you," Stede chuckles as he's walking over to Izzy, he pauses when he sees the toy in Izzy's arms, "My, is this a new friend of yours?"

Izzy hides his face in the plush and shrugs.

"Huh, well she is certainly a soft one, do you think she'd like to come home and meet Ed?"

"Maybee," Izzy softly says.

Stede smiles and leans in, "Can you use your big boy words for Papa?"

Izzy pauses for a moment, looking to his feet then up to Stede, holding up the plush.

"Can she come home with us, please?"

Izzy feels Stede patting his head, "Of course she can! Thank you for using your words and manners, Israel. Now, lets go to the nice cashier so we can bring her home."💕💕💕

[catxtopia]

Alright round two on the Blackstede AUs I really need to see, this time featuring Flinthamilton! We have two nickels guys and I am gonna use them goddamn it.

Takes place well after s4 of Black Sails and s2 of OFMD. (We’re going to assume James and Thomas have eloped from the plantation and settled in a nice little cottage somewhere obviously.)

So The Revenge crew are landbound for a little rest and resupply. (When the morale is low and the pockets full, a little shopping spree is in order -Stede) Everyone’s off doing their own thing, Jim testing out new hats, Olu checking out the jewelry, Roach bargaining over a set of butcher knives, heck even Lucius had the day off of scribing Stede’s every move. All was swell for the first time on a land trip. All except for one.

Edward stood in front of a street vendor glaring at books upon books all spread out with their fancy titles and pretty bindings. He’d been wandering around for hours trying to find something just right. Something for Stede that is. Giving gifts wasn’t his thing but the bizarre little man brought out strange behaviors in Ed. Thus he was trying and failing to find a book that Stede might like. Really anything would do, but it had to be perfect.

He’s interrupted from his grumbling when a man beside him compliments the book in his hand as being a good read. The stranger is tall as shit with short blonde hair. He’s carrying a stack of books already so Ed assumes the guy knows his shit.

They chat for awhile, Ed eventually learns the man’s name is Thomas and he helps sell books at this vendor for a larger bookstore in the city. He wraps Ed’s purchase in brown paper and kindly invites him (and the soon to be owner of the purchased book) to dinner at his house, noting that he has a much nicer collection of books at home.

Later after Ed’s awkwardly given Stede his gift (“For me?” “Yeah, whatever, fuck off.”) He broaches the idea of dinner with the promise of a fancy personal library tour from Thomas. Stede is delighted, of course.

The library lives up to the hype, at least for Stede, for Ed it’s really just another pile of books. Thomas and Stede are excitedly chatting over poems when the front door swings open and a sturdy man saunters in with a bewildered look upon his face. He glances between Thomas and his guests but has to do a double take when he sees Ed lounged back on an armchair with his feet kicked up. Ed knows immediately this man is dangerous and the look of recognition in his eyes when he glares at Ed is cause for trouble.

Thomas, oblivious, greets the man (James) and happily tells him how they all met and that they’d be staying for dinner.

James gives a heaving sigh and closes his eyes as he listens to Thomas. When Thomas is done he turns a much softer gaze on the man and says in a tired but kind voice, “Thomas, dear. You’ve invited Blackbeard and The Gentleman Pirate to our house for stories and soup is what you’ve done.”

Stede is standing aghast the whole time, though it’s only later after they’d left that he aggressively whacks Ed’s shoulder and proclaims how the foolish man had brought them to have dinner with Captain-freaking-Flint and apparently his lover! Honestly he’s a little starstruck. Best dinner date ever.

The End

Thank you and goodnight

[flawedamythyst]

I just hit 30,000 words on my OFMD vampire AU so have a snippet to celebrate.

Ed has been teaching Stede to hunt, and it’s time for his first victim...

(CW: Blood, blood-drinking)

Ed had never really found watching another vampire feed particularly stimulating, but there was something about the juxtaposition of Stede’s carefully curated frilly outfit and neatly tamed hair with the sound of his fangs in the guy’s neck and the way his throat bobbed as he swallowed down the blood. Shit, Ed could almost taste it.

He wondered what it would be like to taste the blood from Stede’s mouth and then had to shut down that line of thought. He’d had too much fun since he’d met Stede to go snogging the guy and maybe ruining it all.

When Stede pulled back, the victim had the dazed look of someone under mesmerisation, and Ed had to approve of how neatly Stede had done that. They’d practised mesmerising victims in advance and Stede had turned out to be a natural.

“There now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” said Stede to the dopey-looking man. “Now, you go straight home, have some orange juice and a good sleep, okay?”

The man blinked slowly. “Don’t have any orange juice,” he said in a slow slur.

“Well, any kind of fruit juice will do, really,” said Stede.

“Don’t have any juice at all,” said the man, his head still lolling. Ed shifted around to see the marks Stede had left and was pleased to see them already closing and that he hadn’t made a mess at all.

“Oh really!” said Stede. “What kind of a grown man doesn’t have any juice in the house? We’ll just have to go to a shop with you on your way home.”

“We’re going with him?” asked Ed.

Stede turned away and the man leant back against the wall, staring up at the sky with wide eyes. Ed had always thought that being mesmerised must be something like being really, really high. “Look at him, Ed, we can’t let him go wandering off alone in this state. There’s no way he’d manage to buy juice.”

Ed didn’t have anything to say to that, because he’d never once stopped to think about what happened to his victims on their way home, after he was done with them. Fuck, he hadn’t even known about the juice thing.

They walked the guy to a corner shop where Stede helped him through the purchase of some orange juice and then sent him on the way home after he’d made sure it was only a few streets away. The guy was definitely starting to wake up from mesmerisation by then, but he was so confused by what was happening that he just nodded along with Stede’s instructions to make sure he drank something and had a snack before going to bed.

He headed off, probably thinking he’d drunk too much and been helped out by a pair of strangers, and Ed couldn’t keep in a laugh. “Mate,” he said to Stede, “you’ve got a style all of your own. I fucking love it.”

Stede beamed back at him.

[izzy-b-hands]

Fun/terrifying modern AU one shot idea that refuses to be written rn: airport. Just, all of them, getting to the airport for a trip. why? don't think abt it rn, this is abt The Airport Experience solely.

The chaos of it all. Stede and Izzy are there entirely too early, like my levels of early to the airport (Three to four hours early so I can deal with the pre flight horrors period with my anxiety in a timely fashion prior to take off.)

Those two are a guaranteed mess themselves once on the plane because they've been fucking chugging coffee from the airport coffee shop while they wait. This means the misery of an airplane restroom at least once, but what else could they do, they ask.

Not show up so fucking early, per Ed, who despite spending his nights with either or both of them, managed to still be there juuuussst before it would be risking not making the flight. Izzy swears he was awake before he left for the airport, he specifically told Ed to try and stay awake to not be late.

Naturally, and understandably, Ed went back to bed lmaooo.

Jim and Olu arrive the recommended amount of time early, and they're a smooth running machine: bags are already paid for via airline app, dropped off, and e-boarding pass ready to be scanned, with back ups in the form of actual printed boarding passes.

Buttons calls about this time. He got on an earlier flight last night just to see if he could, so he's already at their destination, much to Stede's overall confusion. He understands how, but not why Buttons wanted to do it. But he sounds happy, so.

Everyone else trails in more or less on time, all glad they weren't the last one there (everyone loves Ed but are well aware that crown is his. The man just likes sleeping in, that's not a crime.)

Finally they should be boarding but no, now we're delayed. Fuck the plane needs to be refueled. How much longer?!

asked by Stede who is attempting to wrangle his crew from the airport shopping center, and failing. and also realllly wants to go look himself tbh, it's killing him that he can't go and has to take care of the flight nonsense. But as their leader, he knows he should. However as soon as Izzy volunteers to take over there is a Stede and Ed shaped set of dust as they shoot towards the stores together

Eventually Izzy wanders to them and casually mentions the delay might be longer. a lot longer. Could they just try a different flight tomorrow? (as if Stede's stubborn ass would ever say yes to that)

But no, so it's night time at the airport for everyone. Ed bemoans the idea of being so stuck, because yeah he could go elsewhere in the airport now and at least be slightly entertained, but Stede insisted they go through security after shopping, and he doesn't want to have to do that twice (v valid)

The endless argument over when and what to eat (is anyone willing to get food and then see if security will let them bring it back? the answer from all is No), if at all in case they get called to board asap (this will not happen.) The scrounging together of a meal from the various vending machines. Izzy and Stede finally crashing from the lack of coffee (coffee shop was only set up before security), out cold somehow on the uncomfortable airport seats. Everyone else pondering what if they just carried Stede out really carefully and quietly and rescheduled for another flight.

Then, an option: If they're willing to sit in different sections from one another, they can get everyone on this other flight.

They fucking run to that gate, Stede waking up in confusion tossed over Ed's shoulder. Izzy is not even remotely aware of what's happening either, just yanked up by Ivan and dragged along by the hand lmao. Frenchie and Wee John have everyone's phones and/or paper passes, scanning them in front of the befuddled desk agent before everyone else is even there (do not ever actually do this, this will only work in fiction im like 90 percent sure. I think if they did this irl security would tackle them or some shit)

They're fully in the air before Stede is awake enough to ask if anyone grabbed the pile of carry on bags they'd set near their seats.

Nope. In all the excitement, they did not.