#Edward teach is my favorite Barbiegirl

[larphis]

Ed being the most feared pirate of the seven seas and going through a total mental breakdown which leads to three suicide attempts and the self discovery that he has daddy issues and hates himself, deep down realizing that his biggest fear is being unlovable

VS

Stede bribing Jackie to take the Swede as her new boytoy so that he and the crew can get a job but ultimately ending up screwed after a robbery goes wrong which in turn leads to him and the crew being sold to a pirate queen where his new job is simply called “Towels”, in which he blossoms by the way,

is literally the entire plot of the Barbie movie.

She’s Barbie, she’s everything

…he’s just Ken.