#Especially to that one person who's waited for SO long now. I swear to god I'm going to finish it this week | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

gangplanksorenji · 11 months

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Do you think you’re forgiven?

Pairing: LE SSERAFIM Sakura x Male Reader

Word Count: 8720

A/N: Helloooo Orenjideul! I'm back with a Sakura fic and I think, this is my wildest one, yet or something idk ahhhh. I had fun writing this fic and it took me a quite while but I hope it all turned out well! Enjoy! <3

Also, thanking @kaedespicelatte for the idea on the anal scene ehehe <3

-----------------------------------

“Aaaaand… Cut!”

Applause of multiple people can be heard around the room as the final minutes of shooting from their song has now come to an end. All the hard work and stress has finally paid off as subsequent radiant smiles paint their faces.

They’re happy as much as you are, and it’s something all you can ask for and you love it. Thankfully, you could go to them as soon as the shooting ended as your heart beats rapidly in every step you take, closer to them. As you get closer, you notice them focused on monitoring themselves and their performance, so you wait it out in order to respect them yet not so long after it is done and you can already hear them blabbering and their laughter.

“It’s a bit hard to—wait, is that Oppa? I better call Kkura-unnie.”

“You better call, unnie, yes!”

“Shhh…” you hurriedly silent Yunjin and Kazuha with their advances towards calling Sakura as you wanted to surprise her by unexpectedly coming on their shooting. You also came to see the girls perform and their utmost efforts on really exerting all of their energy to give it all and that makes you flustered on how hard-working they are. You can't take your eyes off Sakura whenever she delivers every ounce of passion whenever she dances but you specifically take your eyes off her with this girl too. She’s been really stunning since the day you saw her and you stand by it. Who could it be? Well, it’s just Kim Chaewon with her usual bias-wrecking aura that can literally make you bias list in shambles! Every fan knows this and even though Sakura is where your heart belongs, you can’t help but be in awe whenever Chaewon is on the stage, and this is further proven when you can see them perform personally, with your own eyes.

Sneaking up to the two beautiful idols, clueless about your presence and—

“Boo!”

“Ahhh!”, A startled Sakura meets your eyes as you both flirtatiously exchange smiles and smirks as Sakura playfully punches your shoulder on how you’re teasing her.

“Yah, what made you come here?”

“I just want to see you. How well you’re doing, that’s all…”

“Oh really? That’s so sweet of you…”

Those eyes. You swear to god, everytime she pleases her eyes, you just want to protect her from anything awful that happen—treasure her smile and her happiness because that’s what really matters.

“Yah, we’re still in the monitoring room, lovebirds.”, the nonchalant tone of the leader resonates around your ear as you apologized, earning a smile from the short-haired girl that’s brighter than any beam of light.

Gosh, she’s beautiful—you mutter to yourself as Chaewon’s beauty is way out of this world. All of them are stunning in every way possible, especially Sakura, but lately, Chaewon has been stealing the show ever since the comeback started. With this being said, you just hope to God that Sakura won’t be jealous of this, in any kind. Well, you wish…

All of you then went to the dressing room after the monitoring and shooting and with how hard they’ve been working for this comeback, you’ve thought of treating them a little bit, maybe with this little gift, they may feel rewarded as all of their hard work pays off.

“You all did so well! And, y’know, I’d thought of treating you guys so, yeah…”

“Wait, you really will, Oppa? Oh please, don’t bother anymore—”, Yunjin was interrupted with a buzz on the door as their manager delivered something in a plastic bag, full of delicious, mouth-watering food.

“Oh thanks, manager-nim!”, says Chaewon who placed the plastic bag full of food into the table, equally distributing the tupperware for each member and including you.

“Aish, Chaewon-ssi, I’ll just go and distribute them, just chill on the couch.”

“”But Oppa, I want to—”

Chaewon was eager to help you and you’re just in awe of how she immediately took the initiative. You wanted to make her feel good by helping her but with the sudden hold of her hand because of your attempts to do the job instead, she can’t help but be flustered as the sudden contact made her blush.

“Chaewon-ah, I’ll do the rest, okay? Just relax…. I’ll equally distribute the food.”

Flashing a reassuring smile to her, she then sat on the couch as you equally distributed all of the food to them, and then delightfully thanked you as it flustered your heart. While all of this was happening—the blissful cheers and their boisterous laughter—you noticed Sakura uncannily being enervated and quiet. She’s just maybe tired from all of the things they did today, so, you just chose to not really mind it but seconds after, you approached her and asked her if she was okay.

“Kkura…”

“Yeah?”

“You good? You seem really down all of a sudden…”

“Yeah, I’m all good. It’s just that I feel a bit tired, that’s all.”

“Oh… Don’t worry, after this, I’ll bring you to your place then we’ll spend the night together, okay? Don't you want the food to get cold?”

“No…”

You tucked her hair behind her ear, flashing a reassuring smile and with your alleviating tone, “We’ll take a rest later, okay?”

She nodded as her eyes ignited with anticipation, delighted after saying those few words that made her heart flutter. Despite all of this, you managed to reassure her and averted your attention onto eating the food with the rest of the members, as well as blabbering with them as the cherry on top.

---

It has been a delightful experience while chatting with this group and you couldn’t be any happier. Each member stands out for making any conversation funny, enjoyable and interesting, especially Chaewon. She’s been delivering such fun topics onto the table that the rest of you can’t get enough of it—everything just feels really alive when Chaewon brings the amusement amongst all of the other members, and you love it. You became so comfortable with them—moreso with Chaewon—to the point that you’re involuntarily complimenting them and confessing on how you liked Chaewon from the start.

“But honestly, Chaewon looks stunningly beautiful today.”

“Yah~ Oppa, you don’t have to say that.”, the cute, short-haired girl hides her face from your compliment as the rest of the members smile while Yunjin initiates another compliment. “But you look really stunning, unnie!”

“Aww, thanks… All of you look really stunning, right, Kkura-unnie?”

“H-Huh? Y-Yeah, you all do…”

Silence emanates the room as the awkwardness settles in. Sakura isn’t usually like this and you know it. If she’s just randomly sulking because of something, it’s a petulant excuse to have one and the soft-hearted part of you is thinking that she’s just tired from all they’ve done earlier. Yet that thought is clearly eliminated from what you’re seeing on the rest of the members; they’re lively and delightful as Sakura’s being the opposite.

“Kkura-unnie, are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m just feeling *coos* really tired, sorry.”

Chaewon’s eyebrows furrowed as her tone emits thoughtfulness and concern to Sakura. She then asks her if she’s really alright as she feels a disturbance with the force—something feels off and it’s not looking good.

“Yeah, I’m alright! I’m just feeling tired! How many times do I need to say it!”

All are in shock as she unveils another side of hers which you never like about. Chaewon’s eyes were scared and confused as to why Sakura suddenly exclaimed what she’s feeling. She grew impatient from all of your motives, so with that, she hurriedly left the room as you followed right after. Before you even did that, you reassure Chaewon and the rest of the members that everything’s will be alright.

“Chaewon-ssi, there’s nothing wrong with what you did, okay? She’s maybe just not in the right mood today. We’ll fix this and everything will be fine. Just tell your manager that I’ll be taking Kkura home myself, okay?”

Chaewon nods as you thanked them for bringing such a wonderful bonding session as they thanked you too for treating them to some delicious food—albeit, their advances of still being too grateful and uttering the words: “You shouldn’t have bothered.”. You then hurriedly waved goodbye to them as Kazuha signals a thumbs-up from her hand, letting you know that you should go for Sakura and fix what has unfolded.

This will be one hell of a night, I guess…

---

Between the spotless marbling of the floor are hurried steps from the both of you as she runs away, you then, catching up to her and inevitably, you’ve reached her arms as you block her attempts of escaping, facing her and demanding an answer of her earlier attitude.

“What was that Kkura?”

“It’s just—tiring you know? I didn’t mean to provoke anyone. I’m just tired—you know what? J-Just take me home…”

You then sighed in relief as concern painted your face, worried that something may have unfolded that may turn out the worse for both worlds.

“Alright then, let's rest at your place.”

“Okay…”

The both of you then coursed your way to the parking lot, finding your car as soon as possible because of the possible paparazzis that may have caught you with Sakura—and the last thing you want for you to happen on this planet is being on the headlines on Dispatch.

As soon as the both of you hopped in the car, you then texted Chaewon that you'll drive Sakura home to their dorm and an immediate reply of “thumbs-up” signals that they now know that you're driving Sakura home as relief coursed through your veins.

---

“We’re now here, Kkura.”, you said as you’re done parking the car onto the allotted parking spot that thankfully, no one occupies or you’ll be doomed to park your car awkwardly in the road.

“Oh, finally! I can rest!”, she cheerfully muttered as she hurriedly got out of the car and diverts herself towards the locked front door, unlocking it and letting you in.

“It’s not much though, we didn’t change anything that much…”

You’re now met with the same blue-ish, tranquil wall and the peaceful ambiance yet what really caught your eye are the organized set of clothes and things in which you didn’t see on your last visit here. You’re clearly feeling comfortable and impressed and teased Sakura about it.

“Wow, some organization! Glad y’all knew about that word.”

“Shut up…”

You then laughed as Sakura flashes a faint smile at your joke, and clearly, wasn’t offended by that. Not so long after, she then rushed upstairs as you didn’t mind her, letting her rest for a while as you then slouch onto the couch, making yourself comfortable and then killing the time with the endless scrolling on social media.

---

It has been silent for quite awhile (maybe for like, half an hour) and you’ve never heard any hint of sound upstairs. It’s tranquil and you love it. On how everything seems uncannily silent, your curiosity sends you to check Sakura as you assume that she’s already sleeping and yeah, you half-expected this to happen.

“Hey, Kkura...”

A feeble attempt to avert her attention towards you and not to the game she’s playing (and yes, she’s playing a game) is all you can do. It’s not like she can hear you as she just chooses to ignore which you didn’t really like, to say the least.

“Kkura-yah~ Why are you—”

“Ahh! Fuc— What do you want???”

An aggravated tone reverberates around the compact automobile you’re in as Sakura is angry, infuriated over, maybe, a loss of her game she’s playing. She stares at you striking, like daggers towards your chest as you’re starting to get disappointed towards her as she completely (maybe unintentionally) ignores you, and that's something that you don't want her to do.

“Why are you so mad about, suddenly, huh? Is it because of the game?”

“Yes! And you just ruined everything!”

Shock. You're in complete shock. You've seen her like this before and it's her worse side, as always. You despise seeing her side of this—acting like a spoiled brat who loves attention-seeking and being sulky and would do every single thing just to suck your cock. It's not even fair at this point and you hate it. You get to adjust to her current mood and understand her even though her acts are nonetheless, in the most frivolous and annoying manner yet still, it feels like your acts aren't even making her get out of that ”mood” of hers.

“Hah, you, Kkura, losing your patience just because of a single mistake that you could re-do later—”

“Listen here, you little shit—” Sakura yelps out of her comfortable position, her face infuriated and filled with anger as she tugs the collar of your shirt, her face just inches away from yours as her sharp glare makes you flinch in confusion and maybe, even being nervous about her antics, “—this, is not just a game, do you understand? And you—fucking ruined this day because—”

“Because o-of what? Tell me, Kkura—what is it?” you fight back as you match the fire in her eyes that has been long ignited before.

“Aish—nevermind, argh!!”

She then turns back against you, yourself then anticipating her next move and now, this is most likely a surviving tactic to her possible aggressive antics. You then come to a realization that the possible switch of her mood is because of Chaewon. She may not know this but you've been averting your eyes towards Sakura from time to time, on the right moment where she can't see you. You've noticed her personality being quiet and indeed, sulky rather than her usual bubbly and dorky self.

So… you did just point out that to her.

“Ahh, is it because of Chaewon? That I talked more often to her than you—”

“Just shut up! Shut your mouth!” Sakura pounces on you like a wolf, making you fall onto your stomach and her straddling your lap. She senses you, almost like a predator sensing the fear and anticipation beneath those sparkling eyes of yours as the prey falls into submission, giving in. She grabbed your wrists, further preventing you from retaliating—and it’s like you want to retaliate at this moment and to be honest, you’re even liking it.

“You’re so annoying, don’t you know that? And I don’t care if you want to talk to Chaewon more than me. Pay more attention to her than me—I don’t care! Even if you fuck her brains out, I don’t give a fuck about it!”

She is furious and it’s all you’re doing. You know this but why would she act like this? So childish and so, out of the blue and this, almost feels like a fever dream. Even with her infuriated look, you can’t help but still be so attracted to it and it feels like she’s making you fall for her spell. You hide your true demeanor to her and act tough, trying to fight back but she easily overpowers you, Sakura now having control and the upper ground.

“W-Why are you like this? Get off of me, now.”

“Shut up. I won’t and I’ll make sure I’ll let you know who you fucking belong to.”

Without any time to waste, she started to latch her lips onto yours as the kiss was surprisingly, sloppy and fueled with intense fervor, which you eagerly reciprocated. The taste of her lips is really addicting, so, to further let her know how good of a kisser you are, you double the efforts on each little thing you do when kissing her: the way you caress her waist, the effort and small so-called “lovebites” on her lips and the way you moan between each sloppy kiss. Now, your tongues intertwined with each other as the volume of her moans now resonates around your ear, like a lustful chant that you could listen to all day. Sakura loves this, and even with this, she can submit herself into submission but even before she totally gave in to your control, she pulled out of you, gasping for oxygen as her cheeks and ears are now red from the intimate action you’ve done.

“I hate how good of a kisser you are.”

“You’ll never find someone who kisses you better than me, Kkura.”

“Shut the fuck up. You don’t get to talk! Arghh!” Still with her vicious glare, she takes full control of you pretty easily—even though you can put up a fight against her, you wouldn’t because you love it when she’s in control.

“Oh wow, look at your little friend here!” Sakura averts her fingers playfully onto the tent on your pants as she grinds on it leisurely, you then moaning silently as her tease is enough to make you give in to the abyss of submission.

“Fu—Fuck, Kkura. It feels good.”

She just ignores you and dry-humps your tent, causing her to be wetter than before and you can feel it. You feel yourself being at full mast as she stops after a few seconds after, causing you to be a little bit disappointed as you wanted more.

“You think you can have more? Hah—you wish.”

And, she’s still mad to you for no significant reason on why she’s like this. You wanted to work this out by just talking to her but on the way, Sakura is making this game a fun one as this turns you on even more than what you expected and you’re not complaining. Without any further reminders and time to waste, Sakura hastily unbuttons your pants as she yanks down your boxers in one swift motion, and not even caring if she hurted you or not. Now, with your almost fully-erect length, Sakura eyed it like it was just a piece of meat and was hiding the fact of being in awe and in drool whenever she sees your raging length.

“This?” Sakura leisurely stroked your length, you then groaned in half-pain, half-pleasure as the lack of lubrication isn't helping, yet, nonetheless, it's still pleasurable as hell. “This cock is mine. I'll get to do whatever I want to with this cock and there's nothing you can do about it.”

She then stopped stroking you and now, with full control of you, she didn't waste her time doing the thing she excels at: dominating you.

“Now, you're lucky that I'm not really feeling that sensitive right now, or else, you could be sleeping outside right now, not with me.”

“I'm s-sorry, Kkura, b-but did I even do wrong?”

“You know what you fucking did.”

As she's about to lay down her face aligned with your shaft, a tingle in her brain says something that will make this experience a hundred times better than what it should be.

“Now, you know the drill, baby. Is it clear?”

“Wha—What? What drill, Kkura?”

Within that single word, the fire inside her ignited. The flame full of anger and lust ignited, and it became the worst in any possible situation. She is furious, suffocating your shaft with a vice grip as you wail in pain, then realizing what she's been implying and you quickly correct your mistake.

“Fuck—ahh! I'm sorry, mommy.”

Now loosening her vacuum-like grip on your shaft, you became complacent that everything is starting to calm down but with Sakura, that's not in her vocabulary.

“It's good you have a fucking mind to think then. Don't worry, you'll be all-spent after this and if you do good and follow my instructions, I'll forgive you."

Your eyes widen in anticipation, nervousness and excitement. It’s like rolling a dice full of emotions and wouldn’t know what to really feel and Sakura senses this, and further uses it as her advantage. With still a firm grip with your rock-hard shaft, she spit on your shaft a few times as the lubrication now felt better than before as you can see her beautiful, dainty fingers stroking your raging length leisurely.

You moan in ecstasy and probably, that’s all you can do. The sudden strike of gratification can be felt throughout your body and you, immediately shudder as her wet, warm mouth envelops your raging length within a fraction of a second, and didn’t even notice it.

Sakura didn’t mind you moaning her name and the constant convulse of your hips as she focuses where she’s best at. With her slow bobs and her mouth wrapped onto your mushroom tip, you can’t help but become more aroused and you wouldn’t complain about this—maybe the only thing you’ll complain about is her anger towards you and you never liked it when she’s furious. Within a few seconds, she picks up the pace and involuntarily, you caress the silky black strands of her hair as an outlet to fight the pleasure, and you won't like what will happen next.

Pop.

“Get your hands off me. Put it behind your back and just let me do my job, is that clear?”

You don’t speak, which ignites the flames inside her—

“Fucking answer me!—”

“Yes—y-yes, mommy! I’m s-sorry…”

The tremble on your voice puts a smile on her face, knowing that she, herself, is damn well in control over you.

“Do that again and I won’t make you cum, alright?”

Another “yes” and another no. Simple articulated words coming from your mouth is enough to make her advances towards your glistening length once more, invading it with her oh-so pleasurable cavern which is her mouth. Her deprivation and her insatiability towards you is what fuels her to do this—and it’s like she’s not liking this and if she is, she’s absolutely lying and you can sense, by the way she looks into your eyes, you know damn well that she’s enjoying this.

If only you could tell her how much you love th—

“Don’t talk to me, okay? I’ll only give you permission if I say so, is that clear?”

You’re completely silent as you already followed her instructions (and with the clever mind she has, she knew that you’re taking the instruction too seriously), which she didn’t like.

“You piece of shit—not like that! Fucking answer me!”

“Y-Yes, mommy…”

“Good. I don’t want your joking ass to play around me ‘cause I’m fucking serious right now—”

She resumes her lustful antics onto your engorged head as she swirls her tongue around it, and you respond with an intimate moan as the sensitivity is way too much to handle, and so is the pleasure. Her constant slurps and her saliva running down her chin is one way to know how much she wants you, how she's so deprived of the taste of your cock and it's like a candy she can't get enough.

“God, your cock tastes so good—fuck—”

And there she goes, again. Constant frantic bobbing ensues and the fondling of your balls—and it's really nothing new to your eyes yet the sight is nevertheless hot as fuck. Those large, doe eyes having eye contact with you as she blows you sloppily—oh gosh, you couldn't ask for anything more than to relive this moment and savor every second of her warm mouth enveloping your shaft.

Such copious amounts of that colorless liquid inevitably leaked out of your slit, which she delightfully consumed as if it cascaded like a waterfall—like a mouthful of a delicious entrée she couldn't get enough of. After such hypnotizing minutes of her sloppy blowjob, she pulled out of your shaft with a loud pop as she commended you for being so obedient to her.

“Such a good boy for mommy. As much as I want you to cum deep in my throat, I want to feel this dick inside me, right now.”

She then grinds onto your heated core as the neediness in her eyes says a lot, and you can’t wait to fulfill it.

“Strip me, baby. Get these stupid clothes out of me and don’t you fucking dare touch me until I say so.”

And you did just that. Untying her top slowly while she’s still straddling your lap, you felt your cock twitching at the sight of her handful breasts, those within and hand’s reach as you hurriedly unclasp her black bra, letting gravity do the work as it fell off her smooth, milky skin as her perky mounds are now within your sight. As much as you wanted to dive in and fondle her mounds, you wanted to follow her instructions as you don’t want to feel her wrath again. Now with just her pants on, she gave you an discontented look as you hurriedly did your job, unzipping her pants and letting the clothing fall off the ground smoothly alongside her panties on the way, letting her beautiful, hourglass figure on your sight as you drool in insatiability and need—Sakura herself exuding sexiness is always off the charts of what you always wanted and with her naked body onto your sight, you can’t help but feel so aroused to the point that you want to pull her and kiss her yet, as what she’d said earlier, you must be obedient so you’ll try and discipline yourself to do so.

“Fuck, she’s so perfect—her figure is so insane.”

Sakura then pushes you onto the bed with a loud thud as she pounces onto you like a wolf, her legs straddling your thighs and her warm hands caressing your chest and your abs, making you squirm in sensitivity.

“You’re so fucking hot, baby. And—ooh, you’re squirming under my touch already? Oh, and I bet, you want to feel my pussy right now, don’t you, hm?”

You nod frantically as she grips your length, her hands almost clenching around your shaft as she lines her entrance towards you, teasing you as she brushes her clit onto your swollen head, making you moan in need as you wanted more but you know that she’s not going to give it to you—or is she?

Enough with the teasing as she dives onto your rod, her wet folds engulfing the entirety of your length as she fucks herself with it within as slow pace. You moaned her name softly as she’s exceptionally tight and so wet, and you noticed it on how much she’s dripping before she even entered.

She might be sexually frustrated considering how much both of your schedules are hectic as the both of you didn’t have the time to really invest into bonding sessions or even steamy ones and her frustration even ignited to the fact that she’s so jealous and you’re starting to feel bad. But you shouldn’t, because if your proposition is true, then you’re in the boat as her—you’re having the needs as hers to, and that maybe even explains on how she’s much tighter than the last time you’ve fucked her yet she’s always pleasurably tight, and it’s so pleasurable that you always wanted to hit the deepest spots inside her pussy if you can.

She rides you with a pace that’s moderate—you don’t really ask anything more than it and you can't, as it’s Sakura’s order to not interfere nor talk to her, so you’ll just shut your mouth as the gratification makes your brain go haywire.

“Fuck—you're s-so big inside me—ahh! Fuck, this cock is so p-perfect! Thank god y-you have this perfect cock for me t-to fuck on—ahhh, fuck!”

Her hypnotic bounces onto your shaft sends ripple onto each other’s bodies as you can feel how she’s dripping wet, considering how she’s leaking between her bounces. In every thrust of herself onto your rod, her demeanor completely changed as her once stern, jealous-filled face is now filled with lust and need, her face distorted with the overwhelming pleasure she’s bringing herself into. Her pace suddenly becomes rapid, bounces within such a quick succession as she places her hands onto your chest for further stability. You realized that she’s struggling a little, so you supported her by pressing your hands firmly onto the side of her hips, which she didn't seem to mind.

“God, I fucking love t-this. I hate h-how you always s-stretch my pussy so well—ahh, fuck!”

She can’t really hide the satisfaction she’s feeling and she never will as she’s always vocal whenever she’s satisfied with something, even from the smallest things up to even some of the freakiest actions in bed. It’s also in her eyes and the way she’s leaking all over your length, and with those simple hints, you already know she’s in peak ecstasy.

“Y-Your cock is too good, baby. I’m gonna c-cum really soon!”

Now chasing her long-awaited orgasm, she rides you at a frantic pace, bounces and bounces in quick successions that make your mouth escape plethora of moans. All it takes is a single squeal as she announces her high, as she creams onto your cock, her nectar gushing out like a waterfall, dripping onto the bed sheets.

And you swear to god, you’re going to clean your bed whenever all of these sinful events are done.

She then pulled out of your slick shaft as it glistened with her juices, standing proud and hard as her body makes her the culprit for all of this. With a single motion, she switched positions with you and glared at you, straight right to your soul, seductively whispering, “Fuck me hard, baby. Don’t stop until you unload every single drop, in your balls, in me, do you understand?”

Another question. Another nod. Of course, it’s a must at this very moment as before you insert your stiffened member inside her, once again, she interrupted you with a suggestion in mind, benefiting herself and maybe even you.

“Before this, you gotta fuck me from behind. Fuck me hard until my legs give out, baby. Please mommy and I want you to impress me.”

And you wouldn’t disappoint her and you never will, because if you do, you’re fucked. Fuck her ‘til her legs give out—well, let’s see how this goes.

With all your strength, you rotate her as the sudden swivel makes her anticipate more of what you can do. You then give her milky-white buttocks a gentle squeeze as you continue to whisper to yourself how insane Sakura’s figure is and how much you adore her passion on how she keeps on maintaining this physique.

“God, she’s so fucking hot…”

“W-Why are you teasing me? Fuck me now and I want that cock inside me.”

Her delirious and stern tone makes you anxious as you hurriedly insert your length into her entrance once again and oh—she’s still as tight as ever. Both of you gasp on the sudden spike of pleasure coursing down your veins as you fulfill her request immediately—by fucking her hard and pounding her until her she can’t feel her legs. No more teasing and slow build-ups as you immediately hammer yourself into her glistening cunt, relentless about the pace and not caring if she can’t take it or not—she wanted it rough, anyway. You place both of your hands on her hips, letting you caress and feel those soft mounds you always love and to further fuck her better as the grip and the control now is way better than before. The clashing of bodies resonates a series of sinful sounds that only reverberated around the room, which arouses you further and as well as the wet squelching of each thrust as the cherry on top.

“I s-said, fuck me harder, you piece of sh—I k-know you can do better than this…”

Upon her livid-filled request, you fulfilled it immediately by exerting more effort between your hammering thrusts into her leaking pussy. It's evident how much she's loving this even though her façade says the opposite—and you want to break it and let herself give out to you and you will. The wet squelching has been a common sound beneath your ear as it forms an orchestra of lustfully-composed sounds alongside her sultry moans that pushes you further on the edge. Sakura tries to compress her moans but with this sinful act being unfolded between her legs, it's impossible to really hold back as she fights for the bit of her dominance left.

“G-God, p-pull my hair, pound m-me faster, g-gosh—I know you can do be—”

Her further attempts of being unimpressed was interrupted by a sudden tug of her hair as your hips pursue an onslaught of hammering thrusts that makes Sakura scream your name, her cunt now glistening and leaking way more than before as you're finally getting the grip to make her fall onto submission. Yet you know her, how competitive she is and she's going to put up a fight in order to win and that's her goal, but the grass isn't getting any greener on the other side of victory and you're claiming to dethrone her.

“God, mommy, y-you're so fucking tight—this pussy just feels to fucking good to be r-real!”

“You love mommy's pussy don't you? No wonder why you're throbbing so much i-inside me—fuck! Just shut the fuck up and pound me. I c-can still feel my legs…”

You nod as you continue the good pounding she always wants as not so long after, she's about to announce her second orgasm of the night.

“God, mommy's gonna c-cum so much! I'm so c-close! I—”

An ear-deafening shrill is all it takes as she gushes onto your cock like a waterfall, every stream staining the bedsheets. You continue to fuck her through her high yet your thrusts are way slower than before, allowing her to recover from her high.

“Fuck me h-hard, baby. I know you're c-close. I can feel this cock throbbing inside my tight, wet cunt, ready to deposit all inside me.”

You swear to god, her dirty talks are instant buttons to push you onto your long-awaited orgasm and you love it. Thrust after thrust, moans reverberate around the air as within a few more seconds, you savor each moment being inside as the familiar knot onto your loins grows, signaling your near ecstasy.

With a single sentence escaping from Sakura's lips, it's just impossible to hold back—

“Cum for me.”

Ecstatic, blissful and lustful. Isn't it perfect? Yes it is and always it has been.

Unloading every ounce inside Sakura's perfect cunt is a must, so you did just that. Burying your length up to the hilt, you let it all out as series of thick shots of semen gets unloaded inside Sakura's tight cunt, her velvety walls hugging around your cock as she even savors the moment of your hot seed being deposited inside her, and, to no surprise, she loves it. You then pull out of her heated entrance and rest yourself onto the bed, feeling exhausted from a steamy session with this hot Japanese girl that just milked you, yet not enough to drain you entirely.

“God—” Scooping a sample from the semen that dripped out of her cunt, she tasted it and a satisfied hum lets you know that she liked it.

“Now that's not too bad, for you—hmm, I guess…”

For me? Didn't she just scream earlier like her life depended on it? And now, you know that she's trying to piss you off at this rate—not that you're disappointed and confused, yet maybe you are, yet you see this as a competition and you're willing to let her know who's going to be in control now.

“Hey, mommy’s not yet done with you, stay where the fuck you are and be my good little toy for the night.”

“B-But can’t you just let me re—”

“What the fuck did I say?”

“Sorry, mommy.”

Damn, she’s good. And it’s like you’re putting up a fight against that and you won’t, just yet…

Tugging your collar as she brings her herself close to you, she whispers seductively onto your ear, enough to tingle your senses and your eyes to widen as the simple words that came out of her mouth arouses you more than what you could ever expect in seconds, bringing your shaft to be in life again, rock-hard from her actions.

“I want you to pound my ass. I can still feel my legs and make sure that I won’t after we’re done.”

Oh… Fuck.

Right from the start of your steamy sessions, she’s been talking about anal sex and you know that she’s into something like that yet, right at this moment, it feels like it’s way hotter than what it should be considering how dominant she is right now. Maybe it’s because of that or her just being vocal about it? Nevertheless, the thought of pounding Sakura’s puckered hole and gaping it open is an arousing sight and just by thinking of it can send you into overdrive—moreover, the drive of lust and the will to fuck her until you’ve fully deposited everything inside her tight asshole.

Letting your hands handle the side of your hips for stability, you didn't just go idle as you rub your cock into the rim of her puckered hole, making her squirm in the sudden spike of pleasure. You then spread your precum onto her hole, lathering it with the colorless liquid as not so long after, your fingers tease her ass as its only motive is to pry it open, make it gaped enough for the ease to pound her into oblivion.

“You're not fucking my ass without some lube, idiot. Go get the bottle from the cabinet near my desk.”

Yeah, and you're about to do that after you're done teasing her—yet, you said to yourself that she's maybe not liking you being a tease at this moment and prefers the real thing up in her ass, already. You would rather not answer her back for the flames not to worsen so you did just follow what she wanted and got the bottle of lube from the cabinet.

“Good. Now lather your cock with it. I wanna see your cock glisten among the ligh—”

A shocking squeal escapes her mouth as you shove the tip of the bottle from her puckered hole and her expressions changing within a millisecond once you squeezed the bottle as numerous amount of lube is being distributed inside her ass, making her moan in pleasure yet she still found it rather perplexed with how the cold liquid felt inside her snug asshole.

“W-What the fuck was that? Shit—it's so cold and weird yet it felt good but, what is th—ahh!”

A moan elicits from her as betweenher ragged breaths are her hard grip from the bed sheets as the sudden spike of pleasure was way too much to handle—and at this moment, she's nowhere near evincing a faux demeanor but rather, such expressions of lust and need, and, even though you can't see it, you can feel that she's genuine on what she's feeling. With how well-lubed the insides of her ass are, you’re not going to waste any time to shove your length in it and you did just that. You struggle to insert a few inches inside considering how incredibly tight the opening of her twitching hole is. You groan in pain and pleasure as you now manage to insert half of your raging length into it and thank god, you lubed her inside well and it wasn’t a pain thrusting into her snug walls. Your thrusts are slow and leisurely pleasurable and you want to really build up the pace from time to time yet Sakura didn’t like your thought of that.

“Enough of that slow stuff. Go and pound my ass harder than what you did in my pussy!”

As much as you wanna tease her, you can't help but feel the need of her walls enveloping your thick shaft as you pound her with a relentless pace. The feeling is mutual—you want her as much as she wants you, and you can't wait to bring an onslaught of thrusts inside her gaping hole.

“Oh god—yes! Pound me just like that! Don't y-you love how my walls clench around your shaft? Like how tight I am, hm?”

“I like h-how fucking tight you are, mommy—I really do. You make me feel so good—argh!”

Even though Sakura may feel a little flummoxed on how everything unfolded so fast, she can’t help but still feel so good as every thrust you did inside her sends shivers of pleasure up in her spine. You hammer into her tight asshole without any care, with abandon as she buries her face into the sheets as the gratification is way too much yet she always liked it no matter what. You pound her ass like there’s no tomorrow, balls deep in every thrust you do as it’s so hard that the wet claps of your balls onto her glistening cunt can be heard, as well as the clashing of your bodies. You can tell how good she’s feeling right now, considering the fact that she’s sneakily fingering her cunt in tandem with every thrust you make and the sight is just arousing as fuck. The lewd scene could not be any better and even with her muffled, compressed moans (thanks to herself burying her head onto the mattress), you could tell that she’s enjoying this as much as you do.

“N-Now, Kkura, look how you’re leaking from getting your ass fucked. You’ve thought of this multiple times, don’t you? You’re done being in control right now—because I have the high ground now, do you understand?”

Only a muffled scream can be heard as you deliver hard thrusts and harsh spanks onto her pristine, bubble butt. You wanted an answer—no, you demanded an answer immediately from her. So, without a time to waste, you pull her hair as her muffled moans are now clearly audible and ask her once again.

“I said, do you understand, Kkura?”

Silence emanates yet the wet clashing of bodies ensues, reverberating around the bedroom. If she’s playing tough and stubborn, then you’ll gladly play the game she's in.

“I said, do you fucking understand me, Kkura?!?”

“Y-Yes, daddy.”

“G-Good girl—oh fuck, Kkura! Your ass feels so good! God—I love fucking this ass, do you know that? I swear to god, if I have all the time on the world, I would literally spend hours fucking your ass.”

“Daddy—gahh! Too good! Too good! Please keep fucking me daddy—I’m going to cum so soon too!”

“Then cum for me, Kkura.”

With rough, hammering thrusts comes with a fast pace of fingering her pussy and with orgasm being chased, you wanted to help her out reach her high faster. You give her the last hammering thrusts she deserved as a blissful scream of ecstasy resonates around the room, announcing her peaked high as she squirts all over the bedsheets.

“Gosh—I—cumming, daddy! F-Fuck!!”

You didn't give her some time to recover as you resumed your frantic thrusts inside her snug hole, chasing your orgasm too as a pleading voice can be heard.

“Please c-cum, daddy. I know you're c-close too so please, j-just cum, anywhere you want…”

Even though with the fire she ignited earlier, you can't help but fulfill her desires as surprisingly, you pulled out of her tight hole, wanting to cum somewhere else that she would love.

“Get on your knees for me, Kkura. I wanna blow my load all over your pretty face.”

She obliges your command as she lewdly sticks her tongue out, anticipating your thick load that will cover the entirety of her face and with the furious strokes you're making, you can't hold on much longer as you wanted to be.

“F-Fuck, Kkura! Stick your tongue just like that! Gosh, you're so fucking hot—I'm c-cumming!!!”

A blissful, overpowering drive of lust can be felt as your reservoir breaks loose, unloading all of your semen on Sakura's enticingly seductive face as per thick shots of it, gains a hurried flinch from her by how much you're covering her. She tried to catch it all with her tongue but was deemed unsuccessful because of how much you've unloaded almost everything onto her: her face, nose, chin, lips and her forehead full of your pearly white cum.

“Fuck—it feels so warm, and so—d-delicious, daddy!”

You smiled faintly out of content yet you're still not done with her because you want to ruin her and you absolutely would.

“Do you think I'm still done with you, Kkura?”

You grip both of her arms as you face her, your lust-ignited eyes demanding an answer escaping on those lips from hers.

“N-No?”

“That's right. I'm still not done with you. Now relax yourself, alright?.”

She quickly obliges as she wails in pleasure once you've brushed the tip of your cock onto her clit, making her weak on her knees and moaning profusely.

“Daddy—ahhh! Be gentle for me, just for now—I still feel so sensitive—”

“You don't get to say what I'll do, Kkura. Also, don't fucking worry, it won't be in your pussy.”

Catching her off-guard, you quickly shoved your length into her puckered hole again as you two moaned in unison—you moaned and groaned on how tight she still is, considering how much you've opened her from your harsh poundings from earlier.

“Gosh, Kkura—you're still tight as fuck.”

“And y-you're so big inside me, daddy! Pound me again!”

You really thank Sakura for squirting earlier as her nectar helps with the lubrication—other than the lube, of course—as it drips towards her puckered hole. You didn't get her a chance to prepare herself as you started off with harsh and frantic thrusts, sending ripples down her bubble butt as you pound her with abandon. With the clashing of bodies, you can’t help but moan in ecstasy as the scene is too fucking hot and it’s not hotter as both your lips clash onto each other. You kiss her with fervor that hasn’t been seen before, devouring her like it’s your last meal and getting the awkward taste of your own seed is surprisingly making the scene hotter.

“F-Fuck, daddy. You kissed me so good and don’t you like the taste of your own cum?”

“Well, it’s a bit weird but I never thought I'd taste this sweet.”

You indulge into another blissful kiss with her, locking tongues and exchanging breaths is what made the hottest scene in the bedroom, maybe even way more scorching hot than anything you’ve done with Sakura. You pull onto her once again as you resume your frantic thrusts into her asshole, sending shivers down your spine on how well the pleasure is being delivered.

“Oh god—daddy! You fuck me so well! So so well—fuckk!!”

The same symphony of lewd moans can be heard all over again, and it’s the kind of music you want to listen to apart from their biggest hits. Maybe, in a way, you’ve helped Sakura to improve her vocals by how much you’ve made her scream, reach the highest of notes and how much she has taken you down her throat.

As the frantic hammering ensues comes her melodic moans that ignites the lust inside you to keep going, not minding how sensitive you are as your only aim is to cream both of her holes and to watch how beautiful she can get after all of this. You slowed down your thrusts for a moment and pulled out right after, as you wanted to do something that Sakura will also love.

“Turn around for me, Kkura. I wanna pound you from behind.”

Again, she obliges immediately as she pounced on the bed with her ass up, ready for another set of harsh poundings. It’s still surprising how her legs are still functioning at this very moment but all you can say is that, you’ll pound her into oblivion to the point that she can’t walk until tomorrow and God knows where she’ll get an excuse to his manager on why she can’t be participating in further activities. Without any time to waste, you insert into her snug hole once again as you’re met with the tight hugging of her walls as you resume the onslaught of thrusts while spanking her pearly-white, bubble butt until it’s red from your handprints and your other hand pulling her hair, making a makeshift ponytail and in order to hear the plethora of moans .

“Is this what you’ve wanted a-all along, huh? To be fucked like an animal, especially in this tight ass? Don’t you f-fucking worry Kkura, you won’t gonna walk until tomorrow on how much I’m gonna pound you—oh! Use you, like a toy and you’re going to make a convincing excuse to your members and to your manager on why you suddenly can’t walk. Hah—you fucking slut—what a slut for my cock. Don’t worry, this w-will be anything you can ask for, Kkura and you’ll forever know that I’m yours and you’re all mine, do you understand?”

“Y-Yes daddy—ahhh! Please keep fucking me! I d-don’t care anymore—j-just explode in me!”

Really surprising—you whisper upon yourself as it is indeed surprising on how she can still articulate such words even though she’s being fucked like an animal—thrusts with its only aim is to rearrange her guts and ruin her, ultimately. You wished this won’t end but it soon will be, as you can feel the familiar knot in your loins, signaling your near orgasmic peak. You then give her ass the pounding it deserves as you bury the entirety of your shaft inside her asshole, filling her up to the hilt.

“I’m going to fucking c-cum, Sakura! I’m—cum—”

Your vision darkens as your tips spurt thick shots of cum inside her ass, her walls clenching hard around your shaft as the feeling of filling her ass is way too much to handle. The creampie wasn’t as good as the first one you did inside her pussy, but surely, this amount is enough for the both of you. You then lay down on the bed as the exhaustion comes in, exasperated breaths escaping your mouth as so does Sakura. You then take a look at her holes, fully creampied by you as the conglomeration of both your liquids can be seen on both snug holes. The earlier cacophony of moan, groans and screams are now filled with faint breaths as both bodies are exasperated from the earlier wild session.

“It feels—hahh… So—warm… God, y-you fucked me good and I—can’t feel my legs…”

Sakura then looks at you as you look back to her, exchanging smiles as Sakura leans closer to you, her disheveled hair all over her face but you can’t deny how beautiful she still looks even though she’s completely ruined.

“I’m—sorry about my earlier attitude… I didn’t r-really mean to sulk like that…”

You then caress her hair, fixing her messed up, cum-filled face to be in touch with her, better.

“It’s alright Kkura. I was just scared earlier and just next time, don’t be that oppressive, okay? I just talked with Chaewon and I’m pretty sorry that I didn’t really divert my attention towards you.”

“No, it’s clearly my fault. I’ll be a better girl, I swear.”, Sakura smiles in reassurance, but with a doubt that you’re still feeling that hint of disappointment so, she ensures something with you. “So, would you forgive me?”

Your eyes glistens upon the dim light as you maintain eye contact with her, uttering the next words that will sure make Sakura smile in delight.

“I do. I forgive you, Kkura…”

You then latch onto her lips one more time as all you can feel is love, and only that at this very moment.

“Wait—would you uhh… Help me clean up? I don’t think my legs are functioning right n-now.”

“Oh yeah, sure.”

You then rose up to the bed and helped Sakura by lifting her and assisting her to walk with your arm all over her shoulders.

“Well, you wanna shower with me?”

You’re just glad that you had clothes on your bag to spare for yourself—“Yeah, why not, Kkura.”

Well, this was a night to remember—and probably, good luck explaining the mess that happened in Sakura’s bedroom to the rest of the members, especially the leader, Kim Chaewon—

Kimssammu on 21:15 - “I want my turn next, anytime, Oppa… ;)”

But how did she know—

---

#le sserafim #le sserafim sakura #le sserafim fic #le sserafim smut #le sserafim x male reader

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starhwart · 10 months

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pick a pile: future spouse's version

#002: your love story with them

𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐭 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤𝐬? 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐠𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐥 𝐦𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞/𝐟𝐚𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐢𝐚𝐫 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 (𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐝)

cards: 1-3 (left to right!)

pile 1

◜break my heart◞

they had sad experiences in the past, they don't believe much in love. they really want to feel a genuine love, someone they really trust and trust them too. something reciprocal. a genuine love. someone they want to build dreams with and have a family with. feeling happiness with someone for the first time. feel a golden love that doesn't hurt. that just heals. someone they can show all their faces to, no secrets, no fears. they don't want to have a broken heart, they're tired. but with you... it seems different.. they would endure anything for you, even a broken heart, 1 or 100,000 times. they will deposit all the love in the world on you. show how to be truly loved and how to be cherished. something you never had much of in childhood.. especially with your family. you two will find yourself in each other. only you two exist in the world and that's all that matters.

pile 2

◜hopeless romantic◞

they don't look for love, they think it's kind of silly. why do people need one person for life? what's the point of loving someone if in the end they're going to hurt you? yes, love hurts. is very. then why? why do people submit to this? this is kinda silly. according to them..you are the opposite, someone who truly believes in true love and wants to live with the love of your life. build a family (whether it's animals or not) and make gifts by hand, send cute messages... there are so many things, right?! you really dream about it. well, im warning you now... they are very picky when they want to be, and apparently you were the lucky winner.. whether that's a good or bad thing we're yet to find out! it seems that everything they questioned before, now makes a little sense.. having your heart beating.. wanting to be with you always and giving you gifts.. wait, all of a sudden they are giving you flowers (?), yeah. everything that didn't make sense before couldn't make more sense than it did then. they would do anything for you, just to see you happy. apparently their love language is quality time and gifts! painting pictures, watching movies or just running around. this will become routine after you meet them!

wow, that was long... sorry :D

pile 3

◜years of love◞

for some it will be love at first sight. taking them breath away. strong beats. for others.. it will be something that will unfold little by little, time will take care of everything, don't worry. they will really like you. for the first time you will think something like "okay they are nice", and what else?? anything ?? apparently yes.. ok they won't give up even though you're interested in someone else and they have to put up with you talking about them and blah blah blah. when will this end? but what can they say to you? after all, you're just friends.. (not that they want to be just friends, but you won't cooperate..) everyone has noticed but you. it feels like a slow dance that never ends. until something big happens one night and it TOTALLY changes your view of them. oh my god, sometimes drinks are a blessing. (or your confessions) you will work out, shyness. after all, you never thought of them that way. who knew it would lead you to the love of your life? they've always been there and always will be. they know it and so do you. oh how many nights they texted their friends telling them about you and having daydreams. i swear!

well... you will be alright. trust fate! and at night too 🌟

hey!! thanks for reading <3 let me know what you guys think!! sending love 🎀

#free intuitive readings #free love reading #love reading #future spouse reading #future spouse #pick a pile reading #pick a pile #pick a card reading #tarot reading

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forthechubbies · 3 months

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Stowaway°One Piece Drabble I II

Zoro X Chubby!Reader

Your words were stolen from your lips as you were forcefully lifted onto the man's shoulders, your heart pounding with fear as you were carried towards the captain.

Your pathetic attempt seems to have no effect on the wretched creature. "Release me this instant!" "Filthy scum, remove your repulsive hands off me!" His monstrous grip held your feeble legs captive, restricting any chance of escape.

"Captain!" He bellowed, causing everyone to freeze in terror. "Stop!" A fiery lash scorched your backside. "You kick me again, and I swear to God-"

"What's the matter?" Luffy mumbled, his voice heavy with sleep.

"Then what's that slab of meat stuck to your cheek." Usopp murmured out of suspicion from his Captain.

"Ooh, looks like we've got ourselves a little stowaway," He purred, a sly grin spreading across his face. Zoro pulled you close, his strong arms wrapping around your body. "She's an imperial, and she's got the power to bring the whole damn navy down on us." His voice was low and dangerous, sending shivers down your spine.

"Ouch..." you groaned, rolling your eyes at the agony shooting through your wrists from his death grip. "Oh, spare me the drama, darling. I swear, I have zero intentions of harming your precious little boat... or its oh-so-charming crew, especially the lovely brute who seems hell-bent on snapping my wrists like twigs." You emphasized the word "lovely" with a sarcastic smirk, even daring to wriggle free from his clutches.

It wasn't til two girls and a man appeared where things started to get interesting; Nami took the liberty of informing the uneducated of your bloodline...and your wealth.

Nami was the first person to realize the trouble their in. "Zoro, Let her go! Right now!"

"Yea!" Sanji added. " You heard,Nami Swan,Let her go, Block head." Sanji bellowed, unleashing a insult mocking his pathetic excuse for a love life and his habit of manhandling stunning women.

In response, Zoro shot back with a devilish grin, " They can barely catch their breath, let alone complain." His words oozed with a shocking confidence, leaving no doubt about his ability to satisfy any woman lucky enough to cross his path.

The flames of the dispute ignited swiftly, ensnaring you to be caught between two rugged men. They were nothing but wild beasts, you mused, as you pressed yourself closer against Zoro, feeling the intoxicating rush of danger coursing through your veins. The confrontation escalated, teetering on the edge of violence.

You skillfully maneuvered your way out of the treacherous territory, evading the watchful eyes of the two pirates. Just as you were about to catch your breath, a tantalizingly long rubber band coiled around your voluptuous waist, forcefully yanking you towards the captain's commanding presence.

A rapid realization hit you like a ton of bricks. It's his arm!

"Luffy, No!"

"Damn it, Luffy!"

"LUFFY!"

You heard some stuff before bumping into the captain's arms. But Luffy didn't seem to care much - "Are you a real princess?" His eyes twinkled as he hugged your soft toy-like body.

You stood there, utterly astounded by his mind-boggling talent. A gasp escaped your lips, mingling with a sense of horror that coursed through your veins. "What on earth are you?" you whispered, your curiosity piqued to its very limits. And then, with an audacity that defied all reason, you reached out and pinched his cheeks, unraveling his skin stretched like mochi. "Oh my goodness... You're a rubber man?" It seemed utterly and completely... impossible.

Luffy giggled and pulled his arms back to his sides. "Hey, I asked you something first, so you gotta wait for my answer!"

You nervously cleared your trembling throat, a feeble attempt to steady your quivering voice. "Y-yes," you stammered, desperately trying to adjust your disheveled nightgown, hoping to salvage even a shred of regal composure that remained. "Tell me, do you truly bear the mark of a pirate?"

Fearlessly, He smiles. "I'm gonna be the pirate king."

Of course , you don't believe him but that light in his eyes showed his determination.

Pirates are real? The maids often would fill your brain with these nightmare inducing stories of cut throat pirates slaughtering anyone in their way.

Trembling with terror, you couldn't bear to stay put any longer. Without a second thought, you darted further into the ship, seeking refuge behind a sturdy, locked wooden door.

#roronoa zoro x reader #zoro x reader #one piece zoro #zoro x you #zoro x chubby reader #one piece x reader #one piece x chubby reader #one piece #one piece x y/n

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jangse0hye0n · 4 months

Text

Undress

Word count: 1053

Pairing: Park Wonbin x f!idol reader

Warnings: Suggestive content (not smut but still MDNI), swearing, pet names, (let me know if there are others)

Scenario: During the MMAs, sitting at the artist area, she couldn't keep her eyes off from her boyfriend, especially when he's wearing that outfit.

------------------------------

Watching your boyfriend from the side of the stage as he performs his new song at the MMAs, you couldn’t help but stare at him with heart eyes. Your boyfriend, Park Wonbin, member of Riize, is currently performing Talk Saxy and lets just say you were about to pay whoever styled them for tonight a big amount of money. He looked ever so gorgeous, he was wearing a dress shirt with a tie under a vest, and had his sleeves rolled up, which gave room for his gloves. Not to mention before this he just performed a guitar solo, if you weren’t in front of many other celebrities you would’ve been foaming at the mouth and on your knees for him.

But of course the public couldn’t know about your relationship so you had to keep your reactions to a minimum, which was hard given how good he looked while he was dancing. You were fully restraining yourself from going all crazy over your boyfriend, truly it was a challenge. “Only a couple more hours” you thought to yourself, only a couple more hours until you can finally talk to him freely back stage. Boy was that couple of hours long as fuck.

Riize as a group was sitting in front of you in the artist area, and you were trying to focus on the performances and not your boyfriend that was sitting a mere couple meters from you. Finally the award show was over, and god were you so happy. You faked a stomach ache during the end so you could get backstage quicker, your members not questioning you as they witnessed you trying to hold yourself back earlier during Wonbin’s performance.

You practically ran backstage and went into your dressing room looking for your phone, once you got it, you texted Wonbin to go in there. While you waited for him, you scrolled on twitter, boy were you drooling now. Fan site pictures of Wonbin were being released one by one, you had to sit on the couch that was in the dressing room before you fainted at the sight of your boyfriend. You continued to scroll and even saved some of the pictures to your phone.

Not long after you heard someone open the door and close it very quickly, as if they didn’t want anyone to see that they went into your dressing room. Without looking up from your phone you said “lock the door” to the person. “What’s the emergency?” a deep voice asked you, and you proceed to show them your phone screen very dramatically. “You, you’re the emergency. Do you know how hard I was trying to contain myself out there?” You said dramatically at your boyfriend Wonbin who was now staring at himself on your phone, he laughed a very amused laugh as he sat next to you.

“Well I guess my outfit today is very, uh much huh princess?” he asked you while raising an eyebrow. You playfully hit him as you felt yourself getting weaker at the sight of him. “I hate you” you crossed your arms and looked away from him, mainly so you don't rip off his clothes. “Oh do you know? Hard to believe that darling” he whispered into your ear and in one swift move he lifted you up onto his lap. “Tell me princess, what do you want hm?” either his voice was getting deeper or you were about to faint.

“I… I want to take all this” pointing to his outfit “off of you” you said, not really conscious at this point, now that he’s so close to you. “My baby wants to undress me huh?” he teased you and as you nod, his smile grew wider. “Well then…” he bit the edge of his glove and slid it off his hand while staring into your eyes “care to help me princess? Will you be a good girl and help me take this off?” you couldn’t handle his teasing at this point you could go crazy.

You nodded quickly and bit your lip to contain any noises that might come out of your mouth, reminding yourself that there are still people outside. Wonbin, who already took off his gloves, gave you the green light to do whatever you wanted to, he usually would be the one doing the undressing, but in this case he had to give in to you. How could he not? He was so amused that his girlfriend was so head over heels for him that she wanted to undress him that bad.

You started at his vest, unbuttoning it one by one. Once you were done, he took it off so the next parts would be easier for you. Then you went to loosen his tie, and pull it over his head, throwing it to the side. He didn’t take his eyes off of you the entire time, focused on your pretty face as your hands did unholy things to him. Lastly you began to unbutton his shirt, while you were doing this, he caressed your cheek softly. He couldn’t help it, he himself right now can’t really contain himself from ripping your dress off of you.

You were finally done, and you opened his shirt to see his toned body, running your fingers down his chest to his abs. “My eyes are up here princess” he chuckled as you looked like you were about to drool all over him. He looked at your unfocused face, clearly very distracted by his body. “C’mere pretty” he pulled you closer and connected your lips. His hands that were once on your waist, go down to your hips and eventually onto your ass.

You moaned a bit as he squeezed your ass and you could feel his lips turn into a smirk as you did that. “We can’t do this here” he said a bit out of breath, he knows that both of your reputations are on the line right now. The high risk of getting caught wasn’t worth it. You whined as you started to grind on him, he groaned and held you in place. “Princess… be patient” he warned you with a stern tone. You being the needy girlfriend was still whining in his arms. “Be quiet or I won't let you cum tonight”

- For reference if any needs visuals on what he looks like

#riize #riize wonbin #wonbin #park wonbin #riize imagines #briize #riize smut #riize x reader #riize scenarios

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sxcaramouchex · 7 months

Note

HI IM THE ANON WHO THOUGHT SHE COULDNT SPELL

so imagine,, hear me out here

Shouki No Kami!Scara who sees another scholar try and get personal with you, and he puts them in their place by making them watch him pleasure you, showing them that not even the knowledge of the smartest scholar could make you fall apart as fast as he can— for he is a GOD, and no less, while they are a pathetic mortal.

Shouki no Kami Scaramouche x afab reader smut

a/n: SORRY FOR SUCH A LONG WAIT😭 but here you go anon! I hope you'll like it <3

Warnings: smut, swearing, degrading, public sex (i think it counts?) afab reader but no pronouns, a bit of non-con touching, squirting, Shouki no Kami's finger going inside😳

Shouki no Kami seemed to notice an unwelcoming presence of someone else around you. It was one of the best scholars in the Akademiya, prideful and confident in his skills and knowledge. You spoke barely a few words with each other but you could tell he took an interest in you. Striking a random conversation, appearing where you are. And of course Scara noticed. He was a God after all, he knew many things that were happening, especially if you were involved.

One day, you were just about to enter Joururi Workshop to meet with Scara when that scholar appeared behind you, surprising you.

"Hey there~ what are you doing in a place like this? Why don't we go somewhere nice together? I know many good places." He placed his hand on your waist and got closer to you, uncomfortably closer.

"Uhm...sorry but I'm not interested." You said awkwardly, moving from his grip.

"Oh come on, how can you say no to me? I'm the best student, do you know how powerful and wise i am? I'm on a way to become the next Sage!" He once again got closer to you, now standing right behind you, you felt something press on your butt.

"No, go away! I'm not interested in you." You said firmly, giving him an angry look and going to the entrance of the place.

When you entered, he followed you there, not knowing that he just made the biggest mistake of his life.

"Come on now, how can you resist me? I'll give you the best pleasure you've ever experienced sweetie..." You were just about to face him and told him to seriously stop, that he is disgusting and you're NOT interested, when you felt the ground shake a little.

"Feeble human...are you really the smartest scholar, entering this place without thinking?

Leave. You aren't worthy a second of their attention, and to think you'd be so bold to do all these things, "the best pleasure they've ever experienced"? Do you seriously think you stand a chance against The All Knowing God?" His huge, mechanical form appeared in front of the scholar, making him truly feel like a tiny worm in his presence.

"What...is this??..." He was terrified, trying to escape through the door, but Scara was faster, locking the door with his electro powers.

"Pathetic mortal...this is MY slut, MY property! Why don't I show you what a huge difference is between you, a mere, stupid scholar...and me, The Everlasting God! You couldn't satisfy my slut, I made them so dirty. Few words and they're already soaking wet for me."

You were embarrassed by this while situation but... something inside you wanted Scara to touch you right now, to show this guy...You wanted to be a good whore for him.

The scholar was terrified. Scara really looked and sounded intimidating. It turned you on, how much power Scaramouche had over this human, especially in this huge form.

"Come to me, my pet...let's show him just how pathetic he is, trying to impress MY human."

You shivered a little but came closer to Shouki. You were nervous...standing in front of him, he placed his finger under your chin causing you to look up at him.

"Tell this scholar how much you want me...and how wet you already are for me."

He chuckled a bit. This was truly embarrassing for you. Something like this....but you wanted him and this kind of humiliation in front of this student really turned you on.

"Scara...i want you so bad...i want you to touch me here..." You pressed your hand against your clothed pussy and whimpered a little.

"Good little human, now take off your clothes for me, it's an order. I don't care how embarrassed you are...you're going to show this...pathetic scholar how good your God is making you feel."

You started to take off your clothes. Shirt and pants went quickly but you stopped at panties.

You were really wet. This wetness already pooled out of your cunt and made a visible patch on your panties.

The scholar saw that and blushed deeply, looking away.

You took them off and sat on the ground, spreading your legs in front of Shouki.

"That's right...such a needy cunt." He smirked and placed his huge mechanical hand in front of you. You really wanted his cold fingers to touch you...to make you see stars. You couldn't take it anymore and whimpered, spreading your legs even more. The whole situation was soo arousing. You saw the scholar looking at your crotch and blushing. It didn't go unnoticed by Scara of course, he laughed and started touching you, your arms...shoulders...and then your sensitive nipples.

"Scara... please more.." you moaned and looked up at him. You were so tiny compared to his gigantic form.

"My human...only mine!" He placed his huge finger on your needy cunt, making you arch your back and whimper.

"Oh god...I need it inside... please.."

Your pleas made Shouki chuckle in amusement. He looked at scholar and smirked.

"Look at this, pathetic worm...not even the most knowledgeable scholar stands a chance against a God!!"

He rubbed his finger on your wet clit, smearing the juices around. It was turning you on more and more each second.

"Ahh~ I need more... please, my God..."

You spread your legs as much as possible. You needed his huge finger inside.

He laughed and pressed the tip of his mechanical finger inside of you.

"AAH! Hurts..."

His finger was so big. So long and thick. Just the tip of it made you feel so full and stretched.

He waited a while and you started to slightly grind on his tip. It filled him with pride, how much you wanted him, how good he was making you feel just with his finger.

"That's right...such a slut for me. ONLY for me...look at that, you pathetic human."

He smirked and saw the scholar get scared at his words. Then with his other hand he squeezed the guy's jaw and made him look at the sight.

He loved how obedient you are for him...

You were so horny, so needy for your God...

Looking at you, he started to move his finger inside your wet pussy. It felt oh so good...

You were moaning like a slut. Your cunt was so warm and wet it made it easier for Scara's huge finger to fuck you.

He was moving his finger in and out, each time a bit faster untill your eyes rolled back and you were shouting his name very, very loud. Inside the big robot he was smirking, amused by the actions of his little bitch.

He placed other finger on your clit and started rubbing circles on it. You came so hard, squirted all over his finger and onto the floor.

He chuckled and let you ride your high, then picked you up so you can sit on his hand.

Then he turned to look at the scholar.

"See? Stupid scholars like you don't stand a chance against God. Now...begone human, do not get close to MY property ever again."

The guy nodded and quickly ran away.

You were so satisfied...and so...so tired after this.

But it was Indeed the best experience you've ever had.

#genshin impact #genshin impact smut #scaramouche x you #genshin impact x you #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche smut #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche x y/n #wanderer x reader #wanderer smut #shouki no kami

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randomshyperson · 7 months

Text

Wanda Maximoff x Reader - Pure Heroine Series Part Six - Still Sane

Summary: You and Wanda have been friends for years, but now, you're grown up. Nothing stays as it was. | Album Inspired series "Pure Heroine" by Lorde.

Warnings: (+18), mutual Pining, friends to lovers, fluff, some typical trope angst, high school to college, making out, drinking, substance abuse, fighting, implied compulsory heterosexuality. | Words: 1.426k

General Masterlist | AO3 | Wattpad | Pure Heroine Collection |

-&-

The reason for the delay was traffic.

Wanda didn't mind, not as long as her cigarette was lit at least.

The party was going on inside Steve Rogers' apartment, and Brooklyn was full and bustling on the balcony view. The cigarette on her lips came from the box she'd taken from your jacket pocket before you left earlier, and Wanda could smile to herself imagining your grimace when you realized she'd stolen your cigarettes. Perhaps it was a childish way of punishing you for working on her birthday, when after everything that had happened between you, what Wanda wanted most was to keep you by her side, all the time if possible.

While smoking on Steve Rogers' cold balcony, she came to two conclusions: She really was, undeniably and ridiculously in love with you. From here to the moon, and all that cheesy shit they quoted in the movies. Maybe she should get a ring. And the second thing, Wanda wanted to have sex with you tonight.

She blew smoke into the sky, imagining your reaction when she brought up the subject. Flushed cheeks, a hungry look in your eyes, like every time the make-out sessions got heated and she played with the lobe of your ear between her teeth. Maybe she wouldn't say anything. She was just going to wait for everyone to leave the party, and drag you into the bedroom. And pull your hand under her dress so you'd get the message.

The opening of the door took her attention away from the street.

"Hey, birthday girl." It was Natasha, with a casual smile and a leather jacket. She held out her hand, and Wanda handed her the cigarette. "You're not running away from your own party, are you?"

Wanda smiled at the provocation, shaking her head. "I just needed a moment." She mutters, looking down for a moment. "I'm going to tell Y/N tonight that I want to sleep with her."

Nat choked on the drag with a surprised laugh. "Shit, this... is actually good news." She comments good-humoredly. "But to be honest, I thought you two had done that ages ago."

Wanda chuckles, rolling her eyes. "We've almost done it a dozen times." She comments thoughtfully. "Especially when it became official. But then, it just didn't happen. Someone always interrupted, or one of us chickened out." She says sincerely. "I came so close to fucking everything up, Nat. Like, actually fucking us. And I don't think I ever thanked you for calling her that day. Without that, I don't think we would have ever gotten together."

Natasha takes a long drag, shaking her head. "I doubt that very much, Maximoff." She says, gesturing with her cigarette. "You and her have some pretty intense shit going on. Ever since we were kids, you know? More than the Steve and Bucky drama, and I swear to God that's something." The two laugh at the comment. Natasha hands Wanda back her cigarette. "I think if you'd never apologized, you'd end up OD'ing at one of these parties and Y/N would be the person next to your bed."

Wanda looks away, swallowing dry at the mere possibility. When she speaks again, her voice is hoarse. "I don't fucking deserve her."

Nat clicks her tongue indignantly. "Don't say that."

"It's the truth."

"Wanda, shut up." Natasha speaks more seriously and waits for the girl to raise her eyes to her again. "You made a mistake, but there's no one in this world who deserves to be with her more than you do. Have you forgotten how you were there for her with her parents' divorce, or when her grandmother passed away? Because I'm sure she hasn't. And she stays, not just because she's completely in love but because you've already done the same for her. So stop talking shit, and don't let these insecurities try to ruin what you've fought to build."

Wanda hugs Nat around the neck, the girl laughs in surprise but strokes her back. The brunette murmurs a muffled thank you into her friend's hair, and Natasha nods.

A moment later, the moment is broken with a joke about Wanda not being able to keep her pants on, and they leave the balcony into the party laughing.

-&-

You know there's something different.

From the way Wanda looked at you when you arrived, or kissed you in the hallway, pressing your back against the wall and biting your lip before dragging you into the party.

She stayed on your lap almost all night, between games and small talk, until she made a complete mess of you when she licked the cake icing off the corner of your mouth.

She was wildly flirting with you until the tie around your neck started to tighten.

When the punch ran out, and she asked you to help her get some bottles of wine with her in the kitchen, Wanda ended up pressed against the fridge, your hungry tongue on hers and your hands everywhere.

"What are you up to, Wanda?" Your question came against her jaw as she paused for breath. The girl squirmed between you and the fridge, her skin burning and her hips impatient.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She lies in a falsely innocent tone directly into your ear. Nails scratching your back under your shirt are returned with a hickey on her collarbone that makes her whimper.

You gasp affectedly, holding her still with a tight grip on her hips, unable to formulate any new sentence if she kept grinding against you like that. "You've been driving me crazy all night, baby. Would it be rude for us to flee your party? I really want to take you home..."

Truth be told, she was so turned on that all that came out of her throat was a pathetic plea. You kissed her again until her knees gave way and Wanda began to consider taking off her clothes in the middle of Steve Rogers' kitchen.

But somehow, you managed to let go and return to the party with her hand in yours; blurry, automatic goodbyes now that the cake was cut, and Wanda was hugged by everyone before she was outside.

You took her downstairs, hand in hand, which you only released to get into the parked car. Wanda let out a shaky breath and you leaned towards her again.

The thought of the two of you getting home was almost comical now.

Your hands pulled her onto your lap effortlessly, as you gasped into each other's mouths. Wanda sucked on your tongue, her hips grinding against your lap in the hope that you would help her with the hot knot at the tip of her stomach, and a loud whine when your hands wasted no time. Your fingers pushed the fabric of her panties away and sank into her with ease, the warmth welcoming you deep inside.

The kiss was broken with a dirty moan, and you almost came just from the image. Wanda gripped your shoulders tightly, panting against your mouth as she rode your fingers.

The car rocked gently, and you let your free hand pull her dress down, exposing her breasts. Your fingers moved to play with her nipples, and Wanda moaned against your tongue.

She came just like that, hard and so pretty, for the first time against your hand. In the seat of the car where you had traveled together dozens of times before, looking at you in a way that at the same time was the same and the most unique way she ever did. A hidden message in her stare that you understood with your heart.

You didn't pull out your fingers from her to tell her you loved her as well.

In fact, you sank them deeper and spun them around her warmth to elicit another moan from her. She choked on her own pleading sighs, and you repeated the movements and the words. Wanda moved against your hand and came again before whimpering:

"I love you too, baby."

And you were still her best friend and the person who could tease her with a breathless giggle: "Really, or is that just the two orgasms talking?"

She chuckled too, more affectedly. "Fuck you."

Your thumb pressed her clit, and Wanda bit your shoulder to stifle a loud moan. "I love you too, asshole." You retorted, kissing her jaw. "But you'll have to say it again tomorrow when you're not riding my fingers."

Wanda bites your mouth to make you shut up.

#wanda maximoff x reader #wanda x reader #elizabeth olsen x reader #marvel imagines #pure heroine series

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seichira · 2 years

Text

[ 12:35 ] — 20th midnight of october.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ your boyfriend comes home extremely late, after you specifically (and nicely) asked him earlier this morning not to be.

ੈ✩‧₊˚ some fluffy short scenario for rindou’s birthday!

with freezing hands caused by the intense cold winds outside, rindou haitani turns the doorknob to your shared apartment to finally get some heat in his system and cuddle up to his beautiful partner after a long day of tedious work.

the door swings open, and before he even gets to call your name like he usually does out of instinct, a huge pillow comes dashing towards him and although it completely takes him by surprise, his reflexes help him dodge the huge pillow.

“shit! what the hell?” he grumbles right before his eyes land on you, standing all alert in the middle of the living room, shooting daggers at him through your fiery eyes. not to mention one remaining pillow in your grasp that seems to be ready to be thrown at your boyfriend who should have been home before exactly thirty-five minutes ago.

he squints his eyes as if he is seeing wrong. “baby? what’s all this? why are you—” he takes a step to get to you but an especially loud yell stops him.

“don’t you dare come near me until at least one of my pillows hit you!” you fake throwing the pillow at him so he dodges again, so you say, “and don’t you even try dodging it or i swear to god, rindou haitani.”

you see, you are talking to a man who has evaded death hundreds of times. this man before you has been threatened, intimidated, and been held at gunpoint before. but he swears he has never been scared of anyone else but you.

before you came, nothing can make him stand there and just take a freaking bullet. he will do whatever it takes to save his life. but right now, as he is in front of the person he has only ever loved and the person who has got him wrapped around a finger, he closes his eyes and stands still while waiting for the hit of the throw pillow to come. and man, it did come.

he wants to laugh, though. because your threats and angry demeanor seem so bold but the throw you just aimed towards him had no bite. still, to satisfy his beloved partner, he acts pained.

“where the hell have you been?! and you have the guts to ask me what the hell, when i have been waiting for you since forever!”

still acting as if the pillow really hurt him, he slowly approaches you with a small smile on his lips that he uses when he wants to appease you.

“i’m sorry, baby. it slipped my mind and got too preoccupied in an investigation. i hurried home as soon as i remembered, though. hm?” he smirks and finally takes you in his arms.

you land a punch on his back but you do not dare break off the hug. “and you think that’s gonna make it all better, haitani? i see i have been too complacent with you, you think you can woo me easily!”

oh, he absolutely can. you talk so much but really, you love him just as much as he loves you. yes, he may give in to all of your whims, but you also cannot resist him to save your life.

“i’m sorry, my love,” he whispers and kisses your temple. “i’m here now, am i not? you really miss me that much? wanted me to come home early?”

you separate from him for a bit to face him eye-to-eye. “it’s because i didn’t want anyone to beat me to it. i wanted to greet you first but i guess ran already did, huh—”

rindou stops you with an, “oh.”

“oh,” you say right after. “you forgot?”

he nods like a clueless child, “totally had no idea it was even coming up, baby. ran is overseas so he hasn’t got the chance to bother me with it.”

all his life, he only ever celebrated his birthdays with ran. and he can’t even call it a celebration. his brother would just greet him casually and dap him up, then he will wake up to a cupcake with a candle on it. he doesn’t think he will ever get used to being loved by anybody else apart from his brother.

but here you are, looking up at him, giggling.

“does this mean i get to greet you first?”

he nods, “the privilege is all yours.”

you tiptoe and his arms are quick to wrap around your waist to help you up to place a kiss on his lips, a deep and loving one that officially demotes ran’s birthday cupcakes into second place. your kiss takes the throne of the best birthday present ever.

“happy birthday, rin. i love you.”

just when rindou haitani thinks he could not love you any more than he already does, you prove him wrong.

#⏳ — lumi’s drabbles!#⏳ — lumi’s fics!#I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY BABY BOY #tokyo revengers imagines #tokyo revengers fics #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers fluff #rindou haitani fics #rindou haitani x reader #rindou haitani fluff #rindou haitani imagines #rindou x y/n #rindou haitani

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rindouheart · 1 year

Note

Hello how are you ? I would have liked to ask you if you could write scenarios about Noël Noa and Itoshi Sae (separated) where they fall in love with a journalist please

NOËL NOA and ITOSHI SAE falling in love with a journalist 🎋

content. fluffy boys being cute + gender neutral s/o <3

author’s note. hi cutie! sorry for being this late, i’ve been quite busy with school, sorry! hope you enjoy + my french is a bit rusty, tell me if i’ve misspelled something.

NOËL NOA

“so, how was playing alongside blue lock’s young players?” your colleague asks to translate.

you turn your head towards the football player and translate the sentence. first, you’re a journalist, but in your group, you’re also the only who can fluently speak multiple languages. you’re not specialised in the sport field, however, knowing four languages brought you the opportunity to work in many other contexts.

noa is absolutely stunned by your fluency when speaking french, you’re almost as good as a native. he wonders how much effort you had to put into learning languages. japanese is pretty different from european languages, especially because of the alphabet and the sentences’ structure.

“merci à vous pour votre disponibilité” you thank him after finishing the interview. he loves how cute your japanese accents sounds.

noa is almost tempted to ask you if you’d like to ask a couple more questions, just to hear you speaking french again. however, a bunch of other journalists is coming towards him, so he wouldn’t have enough time to answer to everyone.

he can see your name and the newspaper you work for before you leave, though. he saves a mental note to look for you during the next interview or conference, and who knows, he might ask you what he hasn’t asked you today.

ITOSHI SAE

sae wasn’t expecting to find someone like you to interview him after his return to japan. he’s always been used to those old journalists who have been in the industry for like, what? a century or so? you are quite a surprise to him.

“welcome back, itoshi, so, how was your adventure in europe?” you ask him through your microphone, waiting for his answer. you’re not just pretty, your voice is also nice to hear.

while he’s answering with all the details about how the team acted towards him and such, sae looks at you, taking notes about his answer.

he swears he’s never seen you before. however, you might be one of the most famous journalists in japan, since he’s been abroad for a long time.

at the end of his conference, when everyone is leaving, he walks towards you and, when he’s sure that no one is listening, sae asks for your name.

“are you new in the field? i mean, it might have been because i’ve not been around, but your face seems new to me” he questions. you nod in response “i’ve been working as a journalist for a couple of months now. the newspaper i write for isn’t as big as many others, but i personally love my job”

“i’ve noticed it, you look much more professional than any other one in the room” you smile after hearing his compliment. oh god, your smile. sae is completely lost.

“would you like to get a coffee or something with me? we can chat a bit and i can tell you some exclusives to add on your article” he asks.

when you accept gladly, sae smiles. he’s totally fallen for you and he won’t give up so easily.

@rindouheart ‘s scenarios — 02092023

#blue lock #bllk #bllk scenarios #bllk imagines #bllk x y/n #blue lock x reader #sae itoshi x reader #itoshi sae #sae itoshi #bllk itoshi sae #noel noa #noa noel #bllk noel noa #blue lock sae #blue lock noel noa #bllk sae #bllk x reader

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naughtyneganjdm · 7 months

Text

A Compromise - Chapter 21

Summary: Y/N attempts to make amends with her family after everything she put them through, but she's not sure she deserves there forgiveness. Especially when it comes to Negan.

Characters: Negan, the reader (OC), etc.

Warnings: Swearing, massive angst, smut, sadness, etc.

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27834154/chapters/127977427

Notes: This is the second to last chapter of this story. I'm just really desperate to finish the stories that I have left that are open. Sorry it has taken me so long to finish this one.

Nothing was harder for Y/N than when she coached herself to walk up the sidewalk of the home she used to share with Negan and their children. After Shane pulled what he had at the apartment, Y/N hadn’t seen or talked to the children and Negan. Right now, she didn’t feel like she deserved to be around any of them. That night proved it to her.

Finally gaining the courage to knock on the door, she waited when the sound of the dogs barking inside of the house were heard. God, she hated to admit it, but she actually missed that. Even if she told herself not long ago that she hated it. It was something that was part of her everyday life and it was strange not having both Cooper and Oliver with her.

Once the door opened, Cooper pushed his way through the door to hop up toward her. Immediately the younger golden retriever started kissing at her face and a sigh filled the air, “Cooper! Get down. You’re not supposed to be doing that…”

“It’s okay,” Y/N assured lifting her stare to finally meet the familiar pair of green eyes before her. Suddenly the courage that Y/N had to come up to the home slipped her at the sight of the person before her. “Hey Sam.”

“Y/N…” Sam breathed folding her arms out in front of her chest while Y/N lowered down to see Cooper who was extremely happy with her presence. Once Oliver had heard the familiar tone of Y/N’s voice, he was eager to come in behind Sam to meet Y/N at the door. Pushing his way through, Oliver curled up against Y/N when she wrapped her arms around him to give him a big hug. “I’m surprised to see you here.”

“I know,” Y/N cleared her throat pressing a kiss over Oliver’s head happy to see that he was still doing good after the time she had been away. There was so much that was flooding through Y/N’s head but by the expression over Sam’s features she knew that Sam wasn’t happy with her. “Listen…I’m not sure what you know…”

“Dad didn’t want me to know anything,” Sam answered her with a slow nod, her young features getting more intense with her eyeing over Y/N. “But I’m not stupid. I’m not twelve years old anymore.”

“Even at twelve years old we would have never been able to hide anything from you Sam,” Y/N responded with a sigh, standing up slowly so she could face her stepdaughter. An unbearable ache settled in over the center of Y/N’s chest and she let out a long sigh. “I don’t really know what to say to you Sam.”

“What is there to say? You broke my dad’s heart and you pretty much traumatized NJ. I guess I should be thankful that I got through college before you decided to have your midlife crisis,” Sam stammered, tipping her head to the side when Y/N’s lips parted, but nothing came out. “I had your good years. So you don’t have to apologize to me.”

“I deserved that,” Y/N noted feeling the lump in her throat growing. Sam wasn’t wrong. She fucked up big time and she knew that. “I actually deserve worse.”

“I don’t even know what happened to you. The woman that I met and the woman that I know you are now…they aren’t even close to being the same,” Sam informed her stepping away from the doorframe when Cooper headed back into the house, but Oliver stayed attached at Y/N’s hip. “What happened to you Y/N?”

“I can’t explain it because there is no good excuse,” Y/N admitted with a loud swallow knowing that she had been questioning that same thing a lot lately. “I screwed up. Really bad.”

“That’s an understatement,” Sam agreed with Y/N noticing the way that Y/N could barely even look at her right now. “You know, you were about my age when you got with my dad. You had your whole life figured out by then. Most people don’t find the love of their life at the age you did. Someone who was willing to give them everything they wanted in life. I thought my dad getting with you was the best thing for him and I’m not sure someone has ever hurt him as much as you have.”

“You’re right,” Y/N agreed with Sam, not fighting her on what she knew was true. “I was lucky and I fucked up really bad. I lost sight of the things that were important in my life and I made the worst possible decisions that I ever could. You can’t make up for the things that I have done. But I regret every choice that I made that hurt your father and your little brother.”

“What are you doing here then?” Sam inquired throwing her hand up in the air, her green eyes visibly getting more upset when she threw her blonde hair back over her shoulder. Sam’s dimples grew in intensity and it was the same way it would get when Negan was upset. “Dad isn’t here right now. That’s why I’m here watching the children.”

“I was actually here hoping that Negan Junior would talk to me,” Y/N confessed in broken breaths hating to feel the way she did about things. At this point she wouldn’t blame NJ if he didn’t want to talk to her at all. “I wanted to see him and talk to him about some things.”

Pushing open the door, Sam waved her hand about motioning Y/N to come inside, “He’s in his room reading some of his comics. The girls are in the backyard trying to catch some fireflies which is where I’m meant to be right now. So if you want to talk to your son, you are going to find him in his room.”

“Could you bring him out here?” Y/N begged of Sam who immediately shook her head. “I don’t feel like I deserve to walk into that house after everything I’ve done to all of them.”

“If you want to make up for the things you’ve done, sometimes you have to face those fears and thoughts and just do what is right. Which is going to your son’s room and talking to him,” Sam suggested pushing open the door further and pointing in the direction of NJ’s room “I’m needed in the backyard. While I trust Isabella with Avery, they are still children and they shouldn’t be left to themselves around the pool. So if you want to talk to NJ, you’re going to have to come in.”

With a nod, Y/N’s heart skipped a beat at the center of her chest and she moved into the house. Oliver eagerly followed and Sam closed the door behind her, “I’ll be in the back with the girls if you need me.”

“Thanks Sam,” Y/N commented gathering her bearings enough to force herself up to NJ’s bedroom. She hated to admit it, but she felt horrible about everything and didn’t even know if she should be here right now trying to talk to anyone in the first place. Sam already made it clear how much damage she had done to the family from her mistakes. Pushing at the door to NJ’s room, she felt her throat tensing up at the sight of her son laying on his back reading his comics. His hair had grown out and his hazel eyes were heavily focused on the comic book. Once the door was open enough, Oliver pushed his way into the room and jumped onto the bed with NJ. A groan fell from her son’s throat before a laugh followed.

“How did you get in here?” NJ set the comic book aside and started to rub at the ears of Oliver who had crawled in over NJ’s chest to give him a hug. Looking toward the door, NJ’s smile slowly faded when his eyes locked with Y/N’s. “Mom?”

“Hey baby,” she spoke softly, her chest aching further watching the expression in his hazel eyes changing when he pushed up on his bed and Oliver adjusted appropriately. “Would it be okay if I sat with you buddy?”

“Yeah,” NJ adjusted on the bed, sitting up enough to make room for her and for Oliver to be next to him too. When Y/N moved beside him to take a seat, she set her bag down in front of her and could sense that NJ was uncomfortable with her sitting next to him. “What are you doing here?”

“I wanted to talk to you,” she informed her son with a shuddering breath, finding herself getting emotional as she sat beside him. “NJ, I haven’t been a good mother. I’ve been really terrible in fact. I got so caught up in the things that I thought I wanted in my life that I was ignoring all the things in my life that actually made life worth living.”

Tears were swelling up in NJ’s eyes while she sat beside him and he forced himself to look away from her as she took in a shuddering breath, “I know I’ve made a lot of horrible mistakes and I’ve done things that I can never make up for, but NJ...you are the best thing that ever happened to me. You and your sisters. I never thought I wanted to be a mother, but God, the first time I saw you I knew that I was wrong. You were the most beautiful thing I’d ever seen in my life. And then when those doctors put you in my arms, everything felt right in that moment.”

A single tear slid down NJ’s face and she felt her voice tremoring while she spoke to her son, “I got lost. Your grandfather reminded me of all the things I wanted before I got with your father and I let that blind my judgement of what was right and what was wrong. You have been and you will always be more important than any job Negan Junior. I should have never missed those games or your birthday. I wouldn’t blame you if you hated me forever and you never wanted to forgive me. When I was your age, I was so angry at my father and I turned out worse than he was.”

“I don’t hate you,” NJ whimpered, looking to his mother with his beautiful hazel eyes causing her lips to part and she let out a tremoring breath.

“I don’t deserve you forgiving me NJ. I hurt you. I said terrible, awful things,” she acknowledged to the things she had done in the past to her son hearing his breathing getting louder and he started to cry. “And I was wrong. I was horribly wrong and I want you to know that. You deserved a mother that was just like your father who is perfect by the way. Anything I ever said about him that was negative was so wrong. I should have never stopped being the mom that I was at first before I got that stupid job. There is so many wrong things that I did to you, your sisters and your dad. I screwed up kiddo and I am so deeply sorry.”

Shakily reaching her hand out, she caressed her fingertips in over the side of NJ’s face to sweep at the tears that were over his cheek, “I want you to know that I quit that job. I hated the person I became and it took you talking to me that night at the apartment to see exactly what I was doing wrong.”

Pausing, she felt her chest ache when she thought back to the words that NJ had said to her about wanting his mother back. The look in his eyes still haunted her to this day. There was so much pain and anguish in her young son’s eyes that night and she knew it was her fault and her fault alone.

“I miss the woman that I used to be too, but I don’t deserve you children or your father. I messed up so much that there are things that I will never be able to fix. But leaving that job was a start. I forgot why I wanted to be a lawyer in the first place. I thought I wanted to be successful, but being successful is not the most important thing in the world. You are. You are the most important thing and I am so sorry that I got lost along the way baby,” she spoke and there was a tremoring breath that fell from NJ’s throat showing that her words were making him exceptionally emotional.

“You quit your job?” NJ’s bottom lip quivered, his hand reaching up to place in over the back of Y/N’s while she touched his face. NJ’s hand was shaking, his eyes locked on hers when she nodded. “What are you going to do?”

“I talked to my old job and they were willing to take me back, but I stressed that I had to have a lighter schedule because I wanted to spend more time with my children,” she explained to NJ hearing his cries getting harder and she tipped her head to the side. “That’s if my children want to be near me after all I’ve done.”

“That’s all I ever wanted mom,” NJ admitted lowering his head and he let out a shuddering exhale. “I’ve always loved you and wanted you happy, I just missed you so much.”

“I know baby and I see that now,” she whispered reaching out to wrap her arm around NJ to urge him closer to her. A relieved breath fell from her throat when NJ allowed her to hug him tightly to her. Nuzzling her nose in against the top of his head, she let a kiss follow. Holding NJ tightly in her arms, she cherished the moment knowing that she questioned if she would ever have a moment like this again. “I am so sorry. The things I said to you…the things I did…I don’t know what I was thinking. I love you so much baby and I’m sorry that you thought I hated you. I was overwhelmed and I was putting the blame on people that you were never at fault for. You have always been the shining star in this family. You are my beautiful, perfect little boy and you are an amazing young man.”

“You mean that?” NJ pulled back enough for her to stroke her fingers through his longer, dark hair to brush it behind his ear.

“Every word,” she whispered knowing that she likely looked terrible herself with how she was crying but she didn’t care. “You have always been the best of me and your father. People could only dream of having a child as good as you. You’re such a good big brother and you are so talented. Your heart is so big and I know that.”

Pressing forward, she placed a faint kiss over his forehead and curled her fingers around the back of his neck, “I’m sorry I got lost about what made me really, genuinely happy NJ. I wish I could take it all back, but I know that I can’t. And I know that I will never be able to take back that pain that I gave you. I don’t deserve you forgiving me and I know that…”

“But we can try,” NJ pulled back, swallowing down loudly when he squeezed his fingers against hers. “If you really mean everything that you said.”

“I do,” she assured him bringing his slender hand up to pepper loving kisses over the back of it. “You mean everything to me NJ and if I can, I want to spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

“You don’t have to do that,” NJ whispered, his reddened eyes staring out at her when he looked down toward her hand holding his. “I just want you to be my mom again. You don’t have to make up for anything. I just want you in my life mom. I love you and that’s all this was ever about. I love you mom. I always did.”

There was so much she wanted to say, so much she should have said, but instead of saying them she just wrapped NJ back up in her arms tightly holding him lovingly. Stroking her fingers through NJ’s thick, dark hair she was thankful that he was such a sweet boy, “I want you to know that Shane is no longer in my life. After what he did that night, I kicked him out that day. No one touches my son like that and gets away with it. I’m sorry you were put in that position in the first place. It’s my fault that it happened and I should have never had Shane there to begin with.”

“Shane is gone?” NJ tipped his head up to look at her behind his long eyelashes. After she nodded, confusion flooded his features. “Then why have you been gone? We’ve been so worried about you and I didn’t know what to think.”

“Because I don’t deserve any of you NJ. After the things that I did…” she started to ramble on, but NJ immediately shook his head and grabbed a tight hold of her hands. “After everything I did, you all deserve better than me.”

“You’re our mom,” NJ reminded her with a bit of strength behind his tone. “It doesn’t matter what you think because we love you. We just want you in our lives. We all love you. And if I can forgive you…I know they can too.”

“I love you so much kiddo,” she whispered stroking her fingers through his dark hair feeling a large amount of weight being lifted from her chest hearing her son saying the things she felt like she never deserved to hear. “I’m not sure that I should be forgiven so easily.”

“It won’t be sudden, but if you really mean everything you say, then I’m willing to try,” NJ reminded her giving her hands a firm squeeze. “You’re my mother and the only thing I ever wanted was to be close to you again mom. I miss us.”

“I miss us too,” she cried hating that she ever let it get this bad to begin with. Pulling one of her hands away, she motioned him to wait and then reached for her bag that she had brought with her. Grabbing what she had brought for NJ, she held it out for him seeing his hazel eyes gazing it over. “I bought you this. At my old job, we had a client that was a professional baseball player and I talked to him about you. I told him that my son wanted to be a professional and he told me that this was the kind of glove to get you. Also told me that if I was interested, he would be willing to put you into one of his programs where he helps children like you that want to make it big.”

“I thought you didn’t want me to be a baseball player,” NJ reminded her of the things that she had said previously and she shook her head immediately.

“Negan Junior, I want you to be whatever you want to be because I know if you put your mind to it, you are capable of anything,” she lowered the glove down to stare out at her son with sincerity in her eyes. “If you want to be a baseball player, I am going to support you every step of the way. I know you’re capable of it and I want you to be happy. I promise you, I will never be disappointed in whatever you decide in your life because I just want you happy NJ.”

“Thanks mom,” NJ accepted the glove looking over it and he let out a shuddering breath. “You need to see the girls. They have wanted to see you.”

Setting the glove aside, NJ hooked his fingers with hers and led her to his door. Oliver followed them not far behind as she followed him toward the backdoor where the girls were playing with Sam. Once Isabella spotted Y/N, she immediately set the jar down that she had and ran out to where she was standing with NJ.

“Mommy,” Isabella called out and lowering down, Y/N allowed her to run into her arms for a big hug. Squeezing her tightly in her arms, Y/N saw the way that Avery headed over toward the group of them with her little legs making Y/N smile. Hooking her other arm around Avery, she squeezed them both in tighter to her. Kissing the sides of their faces, she felt emotional with how eager they all were to have her near. “I missed you.”

“I missed you too baby,” Y/N muttered noticing the look that Sam was giving them when she approached them. “I’m so sorry that mommy has been away for so long. I promise I’ll try to be here more for all of you.”

“I wish daddy was here too, he misses you so much,” Isabella alerted her mother and a nervous breath fell from Y/N’s throat. “You are going to be around more?”

“I hope so,” Y/N confessed with a loud swallow. “As long as it is okay with your father.”

After talking to the children a little longer, Y/N knew that she was likely overstaying her welcome and she had said goodbye to the children who weren’t exactly eager to say goodbye to her. When she headed for the door with Sam while NJ stayed in the back with the girls, she reached for something that she brought with her that was in her jacket and held them out to Sam.

“Would you give these to Negan, please?” Y/N saw Sam eyeing over the papers and Sam let out a disgusted breath when she realized what they were. “Please.”

“You’re still trying to divorce my dad?” Sam inquired, her eyebrow arching up in curiosity and a disgusted breath fell from her throat. “After all of that? You still want to divorce dad?”

“I don’t deserve your father after the shit that I pulled Sam,” she declared with a hurt sound looking to the papers that were in her hands. “Your dad deserves better than me. You know that. I know that.”

“All he wants is you though,” Sam pointed out with a huff, her eyes narrowing while she looked to the papers again. “Do you even realize what today is? What day it is? He’s where he has been every day on this day for the last twelve years.”

“I don’t…” Y/N thought about what Sam was saying causing her to let out a shuddering breath when she thought about what day it actually was. “He’s there?”

“Of course he’s there. Because regardless of what you’ve done, he still loves the hell out of you,” Sam insisted with a huff, pushing the papers in closer to Y/N in a polite enough manner. “I won’t give those to him. If you want him to still sign those, you take those to him yourself. Because I won’t be the one to break his heart and I don’t deserve that either Y/N. Dad deserves better than that. It’s not fair to put that kind of thing on my shoulders.”

“I doubt the thing he wants to see tonight is me,” she pushed and Sam shrugged her shoulders.

“I highly doubt that. You’re probably the thing he wants to see the most tonight,” Sam shook her head pointing toward the door. “I’m sure if you make it in time, you can catch him before you have to wait for a long time.”

Putting the papers back where she had pulled them out of, Y/N went to leave before stopping and looking back at Sam, “I’m sorry Sam.”

“Y/N, you never hurt me,” Sam pointed out with a sigh, her expression softening when she stood before her. “You were the best stepmother I could have asked for. I don’t like seeing that you hurt dad and NJ, but you were always good to me. I think I turned out so good because I had four loving, amazing parents. I think you have to remember the woman you were because she was pretty damn good. And I love her…a lot.”

There was a sinking feeling in her chest when Sam stepped forward to wrap her arms around Y/N to give her a big hug and Y/N eagerly accepted the gesture, “I know the woman that raised me is still in there. And she’s fully capable of making things better. If she just tries. But if you want to see Negan, you have to probably leave now.”

Saying her goodbyes, Y/N sat in the car for a moment debating if she should really go to see Negan after Sam told her where he was. Even against her better judgement she drove to the area that she knew Negan would be and like every year before when she got out of the car, she saw the hot air balloon at the center of the large field. It was the anniversary of the first time they had slept together. Negan would always come back to this place to celebrate the relationship that they shared together. Rain or shine. And on the good days, he would always do an air balloon ride like they did that first night.

Walking quickly toward the hot air balloon, she could see that they were about ready to leave. In the distance, she could see that Negan was already inside of the basket, his arms folded in front of his chest and his head lowered. He looked sad. And she knew why. Even if she knew the last thing he needed tonight was her, she headed for the hot air balloon and when she got there, she curled her fingers around the basket edge. Immediately, Negan’s eyes lifted, surprise filling them when he saw her standing there. “Hey.”

“Hey,” Negan repeated, his arms lowering down at his side, stepping forward toward her.

“We need to talk,” she whispered. Yeah, that was vague, but it was true.

“We’re about to take off,” the man running the air balloon informed her looking toward the controls. “You either have to get in or you are going to have to wait.”

“Can’t you hold off?” she begged seeing the man shaking his head and when the basket started to lift from the ground she tried to pull herself in. Before she could slip, she felt Negan helping her into the basket causing her to fall in against his chest. Allowing her to gather herself, Negan’s long eyelashes fluttered when she lifted her eyes to his. “You’re still doing this?”

“Of course I am. Today is a special day for me, even if it no longer means anything to you,” Negan informed her watching the way that she looked over the side of the basket to see the further they were getting away from the ground. Involuntarily she cuddled herself further into his arms showing that she was still uncomfortable going in the hot air balloon after all these years. Deep down, he didn’t hate it though. It had been so long since he had her in his arms like this. “What are you doing here?”

“It’s complicated,” Y/N responded noticing that she was clinging onto Negan like she wouldn’t let go and she knew it was inappropriate. Stepping back and away from Negan, she had a hard time looking him in the eye considering everything that had taken place. “I went to see Negan Junior to apologize. I wanted to talk to him and Sam told me you were here.”

“And how did things go with NJ?” Negan inquired, folding his arms out in front of his chest again. Everything felt awkward and this was definitely a strange conversation to be having in this situation.

“They were good,” she didn’t know what she should and should not say, but Negan was their father so she knew he deserved to hear everything. “I was being a really bad mom. I know that. I admitted that. I told him that I was sorry and I wanted to start trying to build our relationship again. That is…if you’re okay with it since you are their primary parent.”

“Of course I’m okay with you being around our children,” Negan reminded her, shrugging his shoulders like it was silly for her to even ask something like that. “I don’t even know why you would ask me that.”

“Negan, I’ve fucked up really bad,” she reminded him of all the mistakes she had been making lately. “I know what I’ve done and we don’t have to pretend like I’ve been a good mother. Wife. Or person even in that matter.”

“We all make mistakes,” Negan spoke in a whisper and she shook her head.

“Not this bad,” she denied to believe that everyone made the kind of mistakes that she made over the last few years. “I told NJ that I quit my job. It wasn’t working with the schedule I know I’m going to need to be around my children. I contacted my old job and told them I just need a lighter schedule so I can be with my children.”

“You quit your job?” Negan’s arms dropped at his side, shock flooding his features. “No one expected you to do that Y/N. I don’t think you needed to quit your job for NJ to forgive you. That was the career of your dreams.”

“That was a bad dream,” she insisted with a half laugh, lowering her eyes to stare down at their feet. “Any job that keeps me away from my children during the most important points in their life is not the job for me. I don’t care if I was a partner. I don’t care if my father gets angry with me. I need to be there for my children growing up. They deserve the mother that I used to be, not the piece of shit that I became.”

“Y/N,” Negan didn’t know what to say and she could see that his eyes were tearing over hearing the words that she had just said. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything at all,” she suggested with a sigh knowing that the man controlling the air balloon likely felt uncomfortable with her mouth vomiting everything that she was. “I realized that I hated the woman that I had become. I actually used to like me and then something changed. I should have never allowed that change to happen because I lost the things that were the most important to me. And that was all my fault.”

“You never lost any of us,” Negan corrected her, his Adam’s apple bouncing in this throat. Staring out at him, Y/N noticed that Negan looked tired. It made her wonder how well he was sleeping and more than anything she wanted to touch him right now but she knew that she couldn’t. “We were always there waiting for you.”

“After what I did, I don’t deserve any of that Negan,” she pushed her feelings on the whole thing and he threw his hands up in the air.

“Well, you can’t help it when you love someone the way that we love you,” Negan pushed the subject further, his thick eyebrows bouncing up when he spoke. “Things haven’t been the same without you at home and I know the children miss you. I miss you.”

“You deserve better than me Negan,” she whispered and it made him roll his eyes. Shoving his hands into his pockets, Negan gave her a certain look that she knew was him being disappointed with what she said. “You do.”

“I’ve loved two people in my life. Lucille and you…” Negan reminded her of how he felt, his deep, raspy voice making a chill flood her spine. “I know how things have been and I understand you feeling the way that you do, but I promised you as long as we were both still on this world you were always going to have my heart. Always.”

“You’re too good for me,” she felt herself getting emotional over what he was saying. “You’ve always been too good for me.”

“I’ve obviously made some mistakes,” Negan pushed letting out a long, extended exhale. “I promise I will try to be better. I know that I’m boring and…”

“No. No. Don’t do that. What I said was so wrong. You’re not boring. In fact, you are the most amazing, interesting man that I know,” she hushed him, throwing her hands up not wanting to hear him attacking himself personally over the things that she said in the past. “I miss your flowers and your daily notes. I wake up every morning expecting to see them and then I remember all over again how badly I messed up.”

There were tears burning at her eyes and she knew that they shouldn’t have been having this discussion in front of a stranger, “I miss coming home and seeing all of the kids sleeping on top of you like it’s a puppy pile up because they love you so much. There has never been anything wrong with the man that you are. I’ve loved you whether you were smoking or not. Whether you are gray or not. Whether you’re wearing leather or sweatpants. Everything about you is perfect. Everything. And I have always known that. You are the sweetest man I’ve ever known. You are the best father and the best husband. You are the sexiest man I’ve ever known. Don’t ever question who you are…you’re everything anyone could want and more.”

Sucking at his bottom lip, Negan was trying to hold his emotions in and his dimples sucked in when he looked down toward their feet. A shuddering exhale fell from his throat when she let out a hesitant sound, “To be honest, the sweatpants do look really nice on you. When we were together, they would always turn me on when you wore them because the bulge they always gave you…”

The man that was with them choked making Negan involuntarily laugh and he lifted his head to stare out at her with amusement. “I’m sorry, you fill out sweatpants very nicely and I like the way they look. I know it’s inappropriate, but it had to be said.”

“Thanks,” Negan spoke with an innocent nod, his cheeks flushing over and he pushed his hands further into his pockets. “I’m wearing jeans tonight though.”

“And you look good in those too,” she commented causing the man that was with them to turn his head to try to stop himself from looking and she snickered. “Truth is Negan, there is nothing about you to hate. I’m the one that has problems. I’m the jealous one. I’m the stupid one. I’m the one that had perfection in front of me and I let it slip through my fingers.”

“You are such a silly woman,” Negan muttered with a shake of his head, pulling one of his hands out of his pockets. Placing it over the center of his chest, Negan’s voice was broken as he spoke. “You have held my heart in your hand from the beginning and you still have it firmly grasped. As long as I’m fucking breathing, my heart will only belong to you Y/N.”

Stepping forward, Negan’s rough hands cupped her face and he tipped her head back so she could look up at him. At this point she was crying and he stroked his thumbs over her flesh, “I love you so fucking much and I always will.”

Claiming her lips in an extended passionate kiss, Negan hoped to show her all of the emotions and love he had behind the kiss. Over and over again they shared that kiss with his hand sliding down from the side of her neck over her shoulders and down the side of her body to rest it at her hip. Their breathing grew louder with every kiss they shared until the man controlling the hot air balloon cleared his throat.

“I think I’ll end the flight a little sooner than planned so the two of you can have some time together,” he offered causing Negan to snicker while Negan’s nose nuzzled against hers and the sensation of his fingers sweeping over the back of her neck made her sigh.

“Take your time,” Negan instructed hearing her panting against the side of his neck. The man tipped his head to the side before continuing with what he was doing in minding his business. Giving Y/N another loving kiss, Negan swept his thumb in over her jawline. It looked like there was so much that Y/N wanted to say, but instead of allowing her the chance, Negan turned her in his arms to have her face outward to stare out at the world around them. Hooking his arms tightly around her, he held her close to him like he had done the first time they went up in one of these things.

Sliding her hands down, she hooked her fingers with Negan’s and closed her eyes tightly when the warmth of his breath pressed in over the side of her neck. Exhaling loudly, she wish she could go back to then and have a redo with things because she fucked things up so bad.

“Shane is gone. I threw him out the day that you came to pick up the kids,” she informed Negan leaning in closer to him with the way that his short beard tickled at her flesh. “I should have never brought that man into my life in the first place. I’m so sorry that I did Negan.”

“Stop apologizing right now,” Negan hushed her, depositing a faint kiss at her jawline noticing the way that she tremored in his arms. “For the first time in a very long time, take some time for yourself to relax.”

“I’ve just done so much wrong and I feel like a lot needs to be said,” she explained to him leaning further back against his chest. It had been so long since she last had Negan hold onto her like this. Her body yearned for it and she knew that she shouldn’t have wanted it as much as she did. “Plus, I was never very good at relaxing up here.”

“Touché,” Negan chuckled at the side of her neck agreeing with her in that sense. Every year since their first ride together they would always come back to this spot and every single time they were back on the ground she was always thankful for it. “It’s a nice night, no wind and we should enjoy this moment. I can’t remember the last time it was just the two of us being able to enjoy silence.”

Nodding, she slid her hands down in over Negan’s and hooked her fingers with his. Silence was not really something that she was used to at all. It was going to take a lot of getting used to after she left her job. There were so many things that she kept thinking about. What she should say. What she didn’t deserve in terms of being with Negan. Every negative thing she had done in her life was spiraling in her head and she hated that she let it get to this, but she knew she was a terrible person. There was no way that Negan and the children should have been accepting of having her back in their lives. If anything she had to work for it, but she wondered if it was too late for that.

Exhaling loudly, she felt Negan cuddling his face in next to hers and the warmth of him surrounded her. It was nice compared to the chill that surrounded them in the night air. Even if the heights always scared her, Negan was right. It was beautiful up here. Everything was so serene and it always put the world into perspective for her. Compared to the rest of the world she was so small.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Negan whispered causing a chill to flood her spine. “I don’t think this would have had the same effect if you weren’t here. This is where you are meant to be.”

“Negan…” she frowned knowing that this is where she wanted to be. Where she should have been all along, but there was no reason for Negan to forgive her as easily as he had.

For most of the trip they stayed quiet. It was likely awkward in general from the conversation she had with Negan earlier for the person flying the hot air balloon. So because of that the silence was comforting. Once they finally finished their trip, Negan got out first and helped her out. He spoke with the man before reaching for her hand and leading her to the same area they had stayed together the first time. His car was up on the hill and she felt her throat go dry.

“Negan,” she muttered his name watching him set up a blanket before starting up a fire for them. “I’m not sure you want to have me here with you like this.”

“There is nothing I want more,” Negan sat back on the blanket and pat the area beside him. His dark eyes were hooked on hers and she cautiously lowered down beside him after taking her jacket off and setting it aside. “The sky is pretty clear today which means we will be able to see a lot of the stars,” Negan laid back staring up at the sky. It was amazing how he found awe in so much. “Isabella told me the other day that she wants to be an astronaut.”

“I’m sure your fascination with space helps her have that opinion,” she admitted lying down beside Negan enjoying having him near. “So we’re going to have a baseball player and an astronaut. What do you think Avery will be?”

“A food critic,” Negan joked, a snort following when he turned to stare out at her. “That little one spits more food out on me than the other two combined did. She has a specific taste and if she doesn’t like something, she lets it be known. The restaurants will hate her.”

It was cute hearing that assumption from Negan, but it made her realize she really didn’t even know Avery that well. Which was awful since Avery was her daughter. She was around Negan Junior and Isabella in their younger years, but Avery she was very detached from.

“I missed out on so much,” she noted hating to admit it, but it was true. “I barely know our little girl Negan. And with the other two, I just checked out completely.”

“There is time to learn,” Negan suggested, turning on his side and balancing his weight on his arm while he looked her over “Avery came at a rough time, but she’s still young. She won’t know.”

“But Isabella and Negan Junior always will,” she commented, her eyes looking sad when Negan outstretched his free hand to trace over the side of her face with his rough fingertips. In the past his comforting her would have made her feel better, but tonight it didn’t. “I hurt Negan Junior really bad. He can say that he forgives me, but what I did…that’s going to stick with him the rest of his life. And you know that.”

“But you still have time to make up for what happened. Allow the good to overwrite the bad,” Negan suggested and she knew that wasn’t true. The bad was always the things that stood out the most in life. No matter how much good was done.

“I wouldn’t even know where to start,” she pointed out knowing that she had been so work coded over the last few years that she would have to work on the mother part of her again. “I wish I could just go back and change everything. Make new choices, but that’s too late.”

“We’ve all done something we regret,” Negan claimed with a shake of his head. “We can spend a whole lot of time going on about my mistakes in the past. I’ve made big ones. We both know that.”

“But when it mattered, you showed up. You’ve been an incredible father and husband…I failed as a mother,” she hated to be the person to admit all the awful things she did, but she did them. There was no erasing them, she had to face them. “I can’t even picture the pain that I put you and the kids through Negan and it hurts me to think of what I did. I never wanted to be like my father and I think I was worse than my father.”

“Your father never changed, but you have already attempted to make that change Y/N,” Negan assured her, sweeping his fingers underneath her jawline to get her to stare out at him. “You want to change. That’s something your father never did.”

“But it still happened,” she kept her foot down not wanting him to give her the benefit of the doubt. “You can’t just forgive me for the things that I did like they never happened Negan.”

“I didn’t say I was just going to forgive you,” Negan replied back with a frown, his hazel eyes shifting a bit when he thought of what to say next. “I just know how I feel without you in my life and I’m willing to work on things. I’m willing to work on us.”

There was that urge to continue to bicker with Negan about things, but the way he was staring out at her made a breath catch in her throat. Leaning in, Negan’s lips brushed over hers. With the sweet, sweeping sensation it made her eyes flutter to a close. It was hard to deny the kisses from the man she had grown fond of for so long. Sliding in closer to Negan, her hand settled in over his side and she felt his kisses tampering off over her jawline and toward her neck.

“I love you so much,” Negan breathed against the side of her neck, nibbling faintly at her heated flesh. “My heart has and still will always belong to you Y/N.”

With everything that he was saying, it took her right back to the first day they ever spent here. This was the same spot that they had sex the first time. And Negan was just as perfect now as he was then. Crawling in over Negan had him pressing up on his hands so that she could continue to kiss him. Stroking her palms in over the sides of his face, she found comfort in being this close to him again. Nuzzling her nose in against his, she felt her body tremoring with the warmth of his breath lingering over her lips.

Bracing his weight on his right hand, Negan reached up with his left hand to trace over the side of her face. There was still so much love in his eyes for her while he stared up at her and she knew that she didn’t deserve it.

“I love you Negan,” she breathed out, her words vibrating against his lips and it made him smile when she said it. Stroking her fingers through his thick hair, she leaned back enough to look him over and felt a lump growing at the center of her throat. “You never broke your promises. I just turned into a terrible person.”

“You got lost,” Negan responded, his thumb drawing out over her bottom lip. Lifting up enough, Negan pressed a delicate kiss over her bottom lip and he made her eyes come to a tight close. “But in this life, I want no one else. I just want you Y/N. Only you.”

Hearing him say those words, she believed it. There was something in the way that he looked at her, that he always looked at her that made her know that Negan loved her. Capturing his lips in another loving kiss, her hands reached down to press up underneath the material of his t-shirt. Palming down over the planes of Negan’s abdomen, she teased her fingers through the curls of hair that covered his flesh and heard his breathing grow louder. Tugging at his shirt, she moved back enough to help Negan pull it from his body and toss it beside them. Immediately, she lowered down to press kisses over his shoulders where his freckles were. At the same time, his hands were pressing up and under the back of the shirt she was wearing. Just the sensation of his rough fingertips over her flesh had her heart fluttering in her chest. Chills were flooding her veins with Negan nibbling at her bottom lip before brushing his tongue between her lips.

“Up,” Negan breathed against her mouth when he grabbed a hold of her shirt to help her pull it from her body. Once her flesh was revealed to him, he leaned forward to kiss down over the side of her neck toward her collarbone. Gradually his fingers skimmed up over the lengths of her back toward the back of her bra. Unhooking the material carefully, Negan managed to get it from her arms and tossed the material with their shirts that were beside them. Tipping his head back, Negan’s eyes connected with hers. At first, his hands started at her sides and slid up them unhurriedly. Tremoring against his touch, she felt his hands sliding up over the front of her abdomen before palming at the bottom of her breasts. Cupping them tenderly in his large hands, Negan watched her reaction to being touched by him and when she whimpered it made him smile. God, those dimples always got her. “You are still the most beautiful fucking woman I’ve ever seen.”

With his thumbs sweeping out over her nipples, it had her purring out and it gave him the courage to lean forward to press wet kisses between the valley of her breasts. Pressing his kisses over her breast, Negan took his time knowing that he wanted to draw this out for her. When his lips covered her nipple, it had her tossing her head back with her fingers hooking into his hair. Circling his tongue over the taut nub, Negan sucked faintly at the flesh and then turned his attention to the other breast working to pamper her body equally.

Pulling on his hair, she managed to get him to look up at her. His lips were wet, his breathing loud when he dragged his tongue out over his bottom lip. Moving back in, she brought their lips back together in a heated kiss where Negan wrapped his arms around her tightly to bring them close together. Dropping her hands down between them, she worked to undo Negan’s belt hearing him groaning against her flesh. Stealing a look between them allowed Negan to kiss down over her jawline and over her neck while she undid the button in his pants and pulled at the zipper. Lifting up enough, she managed to tug the material of his pants and his boxer briefs from his body to get them down to his thighs. Negan’s erection was rigid, resting against his lower abdomen causing her throat to go dry. Wetting her lips, she wrapped her fingers around his length taking her time to caress over his distended flesh.

“The way you look at me still gives me the most addictive feeling I’ve ever experienced in my life,” she whispered, her lips hovering in over his while she continued to touch him. It made his eyelashes flutter to a close, a muscle in his jaw flexing. Peppering faint kisses over his lips, she gave him one final touch before getting up from his lap. Undoing her pants while she stood before him had him looking up at her with desperation. The way he looked at her would have anyone swooning at the sight of him. Finishing getting the rest of her clothing off, she felt nervous being naked around him for the first time in a very long time. Once she calmed herself, she moved careful enough to lower back down over him. Her lips hovered over his while she reached down to grab a hold of his length. Leading it to her entrance, she took her time to tease him with the idea while she kissed him. Negan’s arms were hooked tightly around her wanting to keep her close while they got reacquainted with one another. By the time she finally did lower down in over him, it had Negan moaning against her flesh and she clung tightly to him. “You are perfect in every way.”

“I love you so much,” Negan slurred, nibbling at her jawline with his hands settling at her hips to help her movements over him. Pressing her forehead to Negan’s, they breathed in unison while she moved unhurriedly over him. It had been a long time since she really made love to Negan, so she was going to take in everything that she could.

From the way he was looking at her, to the way he was touching her, it was making her feel incredibly loved and he was the only one that ever was capable of doing that. Adjusting her position over Negan, she rolled her hips over him allowing him to fill her fully causing him to moan out in a raspy rumble.

“I love you,” Negan breathed out against her lips between kisses, his tongue dragging out across the inside of her bottom lip. Crying out, she curled her fingers into his hair and quickened her movements over him. Warmth pooled at her stomach with him hitting all the right spots inside of her. Closing her eyes, she clung tightly to him and felt a rush to her head. Pulling her hips away from him had her crying out while Negan’s growl vibrated against the side of her neck. Gasping out, she felt Negan rolling her over onto her back. Carefully lowering himself between her thighs, Negan braced his weight on his arms and laid over her.

“I love you too,” she responded while he brushed her hair away from her face. Tipping her head back, she cried out when Negan filled her again. His thrusts were slow, drawn out and perfect while he made love to her underneath the stars much like he did the first time they slept together. When his moans grew more frequent, she clung tightly to him wanting to have him near her when he reached his release inside of her. Neither one of them were desperate to pull away from the other. Negan just laid in over her while she stroked her fingers over the back of his neck playing with the small curls of hair that were there. “I’m so sorry for what I did to you.”

Pulling back just enough to stare down at her, Negan smirked and nuzzled his nose in against hers, “I forgive you.”

Hearing that made her chest hurt. There was no world where she deserved his forgiveness. Not that easy. Not when she didn’t work to earn it back. For a while they just laid like that and she cherished it. Hell, it felt perfect and she couldn’t imagine wanting to be anywhere else in the world right now.

When Negan did finally move, he laid in beside her and wrapped her up in his arms. Easily Negan had fallen asleep and it made her wonder how many nights of sleep he lost because of her. Watching him sleep broke her heart. It made her think of how much she had missed out on over the last few years. Even more so over the last few months. The pain she put Negan through had to be extremely significant. Yet here he was willing to take her back with open arms. It almost didn’t seem right.

Eventually she had fallen asleep in the middle of the night in his arms and woke up to the sensation of him moving out from underneath her. Fluttering her eyes to an open, she watched Negan reach for his pants that were on the ground. Slowly her eyes adjusted to the small amount of sunlight that was surrounding them from the morning.

“Hey,” Negan looked over his shoulder at her after her breathing alerted him that she was awake. Turning around Negan faced her and she couldn’t help but chuckle to herself when Negan tipped his head to the side. “What?”

“I just missed waking up to all of that,” she pointed out making Negan snicker and look down at himself. “It’s a nice sight.”

“Does that mean you’re ready for another round?” Negan teased reaching down to stroke over his body a few times causing her to laugh out and drop her head back against the blankets. “I can get him fully hard if that’s what you’re asking for.”

“I think we should probably figure things out first,” she looked over to Negan playing with himself and she couldn’t help but laugh at his antics. “You’re still a goof.”

“I can be,” he agreed with her, his nose wrinkling in amusement when he started to work his pants back over his legs. Adjusting his body, he pulled them together and zipped them up. “I was thinking we could pack up and go get breakfast together. Sam texted me that she was spending the night with the kids so we have a few more hours.”

Negan reached for her clothes in attempts to get her dressed and let out a surprised sound when something fell from the jacket that she had deposited last night when they laid down together. Reaching for it, he let out a tense breath when he saw that it was their divorce papers. Looking back over his shoulder at Y/N, he watched the color drain from her face when she sat up carefully on the blankets.

“Why do you have these?” Negan wondered, his eyebrow arching in curiosity while she cleared her throat. “Did you bring these here last night with the intentions of having me sign them?”

“It’s complicated,” she breathed out slow and it made the happiness that was plastered over his features when he woke up disappear. “Yes, I thought you should sign them yesterday.”

“Why? Why would you think that after talking about wanting to change things for the better?” Negan waved the papers about and she lowered her head down. “I thought you wanted to fix things with us. Why would you bring these?”

“I don’t deserve you Negan,” she reminded him, getting up from where she was seated to reach for her clothes to put them on haphazardly while Negan stood before her in just his pants. “You should have realized that a very long time ago.”

“I don’t care what you think I deserve and don’t deserve,” Negan stressed, his eyebrows furrowing when he clasped tightly to the papers that were in his hands. “I want to be with you. I told you that I forgave you for everything.”

“It shouldn’t be that easy Negan. I’ve done nothing to earn that trust back,” she reasoned with him and she could see that his face was turning red. “One day you are going to realize the mistakes that I made were too big to heal and you’re going to be stuck with me.”

“I would never think that,” Negan tossed the papers down on the rest of his clothes that were still there. “I think if you are worried, we should just go to a therapist. Talk things out. Work out our marriage. That way it would make things feel right again.”

“You are too good for me,” she stressed, placing her hand over the center of his chest when he went to kiss her and she felt tears burning at her eyes. “You really should sign the papers Negan.”

“I don’t want to,” Negan shook his head, his tone extremely upset that she was even suggesting that to him. “After last night, I think it was more than enough proof why I shouldn’t sign the papers. We have a second chance at our relationship.”

“That’s the thing Negan, it’s not a second chance. It’s more like the hundredth chance for me,” she declared with a frown, pulling herself away from him and she shrugged her shoulders. “I love you. So much.”

“Then that tells you I shouldn’t sign those fucking papers,” Negan snapped, his jaw clenching in frustration.

“I love you enough to know that you deserve better than me,” she stressed, a single tear sliding down the side of her face. “Which is why I think we do need to go forward with the divorce. Not because I don’t love you. Not because you aren’t perfect, because you are the most amazing man I’ve ever known, but because I will only bring you down Negan. I’ve brought you down from the moment that we got married. You are this amazingly beautiful man, inside and out. I had you questioning that. I don’t think we ever belonged together Negan. I put you through hell for so long.”

“Hell for me is life without you,” Negan stressed, his bottom lip quivering when she looked to him again. “I want to be with you.”

“Then make me work for it,” she suggested, her throat tensing when Negan let out a hurt sound. “Allow me this. That way I can work to earn back your love.”

“You never lost my love,” Negan snarled, his Adam’s apple bouncing in his throat. “You can work it out married to me. We don’t need to get divorced for you to earn back my love because my love is still there.”

“I’m telling you Negan, I don’t think things will be able to be fixed unless you give me this,” she blurt out and it confused Negan to hear her talking like that. Snatching his shirt from the ground, he pulled it back in over his body and worked to pull it down. “I need this.”

“You want this? You really want this? It’s the only way for you?” Negan questioned with a hurt sound seeing her nod her head once. “I thought you said you loved me.”

“I do,” she explained with a broken breath. They were both crying at this point and she shrugged her shoulders. “It’s just this needs to be done or I will never be able to forgive myself for things. The things I did to both you and the kids…”

“You truly believe that? That’s the thing that is going to make you happy?” Negan wondered and she nodded her head. Letting out an upset breath, Negan reached for the papers. Staring down at the divorce papers, he saw that there was a pen that had fallen out of her jacket as well. Picking up the pen, he gave her one final look and bit down on his bottom lip. Flipping through the papers, he stopped where he was meant to sign his name. A tremoring breath fell from her lips when Negan signed the papers and tossed the pen aside. Stepping before her, Negan held them out and watched her shakily reach out for them. When she grabbed them, Negan stood before her, his eyes narrowing when his breathing grew louder. “I hope you’re happy.”

“Negan,” she muttered his name when he stormed off toward his car. Watching him get in, she could tell that he was upset and she stood at that hill. Frozen, she didn’t know what to do other than watch him drive away. It was the thing she wanted for a while, but now that he had done it, she felt like she was broken and wondered if it was something that she would be able to ever fix between them.

----

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#Negan #Jeffrey Dean Morgan #negan x reader #negan fanfiction #The Walking Dead #twd fanfiction #negan x you #Negan Smith #Negan smut

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sturniologals · 3 months

Text

Say it. {M.S}

*AN~ this is a lil long ngl but it is SO worth it i swear. I literally love this sm and i’m willing to write a part two with smut in it but this one is just cutesies and angst and just ughhhh😫

pairing: matt x reader, friends to enemies to lovers (it’s a long ride yall😭)

~warnings~ fluff, cursing

5.1k words

summary: y/n and Matt had an unbreakable bond until y/n’s 16th birthday when an argument took place that changed their dynamic and now, y/n’s 17th birthday is coming up and she really wants her best friend back and the world is working in her favor because Matt ends up offering her driving lessons where feelings are re hatched.

“I told you this wasn’t a good idea” I say to Chris as i hit my forehead on the steering wheel in frustration.

“I’m starting to think you’re right. This is the sixth curb you’ve hit in the last 20 minutes.” I turn my head at him and shoot him a snide look.

“It’s not y/n’s fault that you don’t have the mental capacity to teach her to drive. You can barely drive yourself.” Nick says, shooting up from the backseat. I laugh and put the car into park.

I slide out of the drivers seat and walk around the car so me and chris can switch spots.

On the drive home, nick and chris argue over who gets aux and i can’t help but to zone out and think about how i’m turning 17 in less than a month and i still can’t drive, but i’m lucky to have the best friends that i do. Nick especially, he’s always there when i’m going through something, he can always make me laugh when i need it. Chris is just chris. Hes hardly ever serious about anything but when he knows i’m going through something, he always finds the will. And matt… he’s hardly ever around me, and when he is, it’s just side glances full of what i think is hatred.

It’s been like that ever since my last birthday. My boyfriend at the time, Blake, got mad at me because of matt and I’s friendship.

Flashback to y/n’s 16th birthday:

“Oh my god you are oblivious!” blake shouts at me.

“Can you keep it down?” i say knowing that my family and friends are downstairs waiting for me to cut the cake and blow out my candles and i’m in my room arguing with my boyfriend who i honestly don’t have feelings for anymore. I’m not sure i ever even did.

Blake runs his hands over his face and i can see the vein in his forehead flexing.

“Blake what are we even arguing about right now?” I say bored and annoyed, wanting to go back downstairs and see what gift Matt got me.

I was eavesdropping on Chris and Matt a week ago and heard them talking about how much i’m gonna love what Matt got me.

“Y/n are you actually that dumb or are you just trying to piss me off?” blake questions me with annoyance and i feel myself shudder at him calling me dumb, reminding me of the words my father would spat at me every day right up until he died.

“Don’t call me dumb, and i’m not trying to piss you off, i genuinely don’t know why you’ve been mad at me all night.” i try to keep my voice steady, not wanting to cry.

“Matt” he says in a stern voice as if i’m supposed to know what he’s talking about immediately.

“What about him?” I say, wondering why he’s mad at me over the person i’m closest to. I’d never tell blake that though. He thinks he knows everything about me but the truth is, Matt has known everything about me since I was ten years old.

When I scraped my knee while we were riding bikes when i was 12, he gave me bandaids and a shoulder to cry on and after he let me play mario kart with him all day. When i was 14 and got my first boyfriend who broke up with me after a week, Matt was there to call him an idiot and ask if i wanted him to beat him up. So Blake has no place to say anything about Matt, not when he knows how much Matt means to me.

“Y/n! Did you just hear a word of what i said?” blake says, shocking me back to the present and i realize i’ve zoned out the last thirty seconds. I do that a lot.

“Uhm no sorry, i zoned out.” I say quietly, not wanting him to yell. He huffs out a breath and shakes his head as if he’s refraining from saying something.

“You and matt. Did anything happen? ever?” He asks sternly.

“No! What? No! Why would you-“ I start to list reasons why i don’t like matt like that and never could but i can’t come with any so i stop talking.

“Why would i think that?” He says, finishing my sentence.

“Yes blake, why would you think that?”

“Theirs a million fucking reasons! Oh my god!”

His face is as red as a strawberry which makes me think of my strawberry cake downstairs that i so desperately want to get back to. But, i also want to know what he’s going to say about Matt, so i suck it up and listen.

“You’re with him more than your with me, you’re always zoning out and being all sad and shit when your with me but when your with matt- your all fucking giggly and laughing and smiling and actually speaking! I can hardly ever get a word out of you! And hell y/n, even if you don’t see him like that, I can take one peek at the way he looks at you and see that he sure as hell does feel like that about you and I don’t want my girlfriend all cozy with someone who so obviously has feelings for them.” He finishes off his rant breathlessly, leaving me thinking about a lot of things. Matt, Matthew, Matty, and how much i want to eat some of my birthday cake right now.

“I don’t know what you want me to say blake” i say truthfully. I don’t even know what i’m feeling, what i’ve felt ever at any point in any time. It’s all too confusing and i’ve decided to collectively ignore this situation and continue to be grateful i have my best friend and a strawberry cake with Jacob Elordi’s face on it waiting on me downstairs.

“you don’t need to say anything.” He says in a determined voice.

“Are you breaking up with me? on my birthday?”

He looks like wants to say yes he is but doesn’t. He just walks in front of me to the door and opens it. I go behind him and standing at the door, is Matt.

“Great” Blake scoffs and passes Matt up as he heads down the stairs. I can feel the tears swelling in my eyes and I don’t even think it’s because of Blake. I’m almost 99.9 percent sure that it’s because of the pure confusion and panic about what Blake said about Matt.

“y/n” Matt says in a low voice, he looks as if he wants to reach out and touch me but he doesn’t.

“Matt” I say with a frown on my face and I immediately fall into the comfort of his arms. His scent smells so comforting as i nuzzle my face into the crook under his chin.

“How much of that did you hear?” my voice comes out muffled from his hoodie.

“Enough to know why he broke up with you.” He says quietly as if he’s scared to upset me again.

“Can we not talk about it?” I say even though i feel like he definitely wants to.

“Yeah no it’s whatever we don’t have to talk about it. Come blow out your candles, yeah?” he says removing me from his arms and his voice instantly changing to more stern and cold. I haven’t felt like this around Matt since I accidentally let his pet bunny out of its cage and it escaped in the 7th grade.

“Matt-“ I start to tell him that we can talk about it, that i think i have feelings for him but i’m confused, that i love him and i just don’t want anything to change- but i don’t. I let my voice falter as he walks down the stairs. I follow behind after getting myself together for a few moments.

The whole time while we’re cutting the cake and i blow out my candles and then I open up my last gift, Matt’s eyes are trained to be anywhere that’s not on me. His normal semi- talkative self has now changed to a silent, closed off one.

After i sit down the digital camera that nick got me, I wait for Matt to pull out the gift that he and chris thought i would love. He never does, and I don’t question it. I watch chris nudge Matt on the arm and Matt shake his head, a movement so subtle that i wouldn’t have seen it unless i hadn’t been staring at Matt endlessly the whole last hour.

Present-

“Y/n, hey, helloooo, hiii” Nicks voice brings me back out of the memory.

“Yep, right here. Sorry.” I say as i unbuckle my seat and get out of the car. Matt has continued to be cold towards me ever since that day and i don’t think i’m ever going to be used to it. It’s not like he’s mean to me but i feel like he doesn’t care. Anytime i try to interact with him, he acts as if he’s not interested in what i have to say so i’ve stopped trying with him. I don’t know why he switched up all of a sudden and everyday i miss my bestfriend, anytime something bad happens, I always go back to the old familiar feeling of wanting to run to Matt and tell him what happened, and i have to refrain from doing so. It always hurts, but I know it’s for the better.

Nick unlocks the front door and me and Chris follow in after him.

I kick my sneakers off at the door and I find myself looking for Matt.

“Matts around here somewhere. He said he had to stay home to study.” Nick says as if he read my mind.

“Matt? studying? No way.” Chris retorts while sitting down at the kitchen island with a bag of popcorn.

“What’s he doing?” I ask, stealing a piece of popcorn from Chris and popping it into my mouth.

“Hell if I know.” Nick says while pouring some trix cereal into a bowl.

“Why don’t you go see what he’s up to?” Chris asks me and nick looks at him as if he’s just asked me to kick a puppy.

“Okay” i say, trying to appear as unbothered as possible but the truth is i’m really excited to talk to Matt.

I quickly jog up the stairs and reach the door to Matt’s room that i barely ever pass through anymore. I take a deep breath in and Knock twice.

“It’s me” I say loudly so he can hear.

“Come in” Matt shouts from behind the door. I slowly open the door and see Matt sitting at his desk playing a game with his headset on. Half of the headset is pushed back behind his ear so he can see me. He turns around in his swivel chair and stares at me like he’s waiting for me to ask him something. We never did need a reason to talk to each other, we just did. And today, nostalgia has been eating at me so I make the decision to blurt out

“I miss you”, I say it so quickly that my brain doesn’t process it till seconds later.

“Uhm sorry I don’t know why i said that- well, no i do know why i said that. I said it because I miss you but i know it’s odd because i said it out of nowhere but nostalgias been getting to me all day-“ I sit down on the edge of his bed. “And i don’t know I just wanted to tell you i miss you- and Matt and Chris took me driving today and I hit four curbs. FOUR Matt. I’m never going to get my license.” I say the last part into one of matts fuzzy blue pillows.

I let out a groan and throw my hands back.

Matt’s silence makes me turn my head towards him. He’s just staring at me, smiling-no, he’s cheesing. Matt hasn’t looked at me like that in almost a year. We haven’t talked like this an almost a year.

“What?” I say with a chuckle and i feel my cheeks heat up and a familiar feeling i always get in my stomach when i’m around Matt comes back.

“Nothing, i just missed hearing you talk” His voice grew quieter at the last few words, as if they accidentally slipped out.

My breath hitches and thoughts run through my mind. I want to tell him that i’d talk until my voice goes out, that i want him to make me yell until my voice doesn’t goes out. All the ways he could shut me up makes my stomach turn and my hands go clammy.

“Oh” is all i can manage. He smiles at me and turns back to his desk.

“I’m gonna take you driving tomorrow. Be ready at 4, i’ll come get you.” He says while putting his headset back on.

I can’t help but to be utterly shocked at him saying he wants to take me driving. Matt volunteering to spend time with me. I’m happily surprised.

As i walk out of his room, I can see him still smiling through the reflection on his computer.

I shut the door behind me and walk downstairs to tell Chris and nick about the breakthrough i just made.

“Yup I told you guys i was gonna get him back in the groove of y/n!” i say smiling and gesturing at myself.

“What the fuck, don’t do that again” Nick says and we all burst out into laughter.

“See you tomorrow y/n” Chris says as he shuts the door behind me and i walk across the street to my house that sits directly in-front of them.

I tell my mom about how Matt’s taking me driving tomorrow and she smiles and tells me she’s happy that we’re talking again and I go up to my room and fall asleep thinking about Matt and how he said he missed hearing me talk. I can’t help but to feel desire grow in my stomach and the wanting to slip my hands into my underwear and relieve some of the pressure but i fall asleep before my thoughts continue.

The next day, I wake up and find the blue sundress that sits right above my knees, I know Matt loves this dress. He bought it for me last Christmas. I pair it with a pair of tan sandals and once i hear the horn of Matt’s car, i walk down stairs and out the door.

I see Matt in his car, one elbow propped against the console and his other hand on the wheel, he’s wearing a black t shirt that lets all of his tattoos be shown. My god, he’s had to have gotten more since the last time i’ve saw his arm. I think I have a thing for Matt’s tattoos. I’ve always wanted to run my mouth along every one of them and watch Matt squirm underneath me.

His jaw is tense and his eyes impossibly blue in the sunlight shining through.

“Are you gonna get in?” Matt says rolling the passenger window down so he can talk to me. I move from my position on the sidewalk and get into the car.

The scent of leather and coffee instantly hits my nostrils and even in this weather, I can’t help but to feel cold at Matt’s switch in behavior.

I slide into the passenger seat and Matt’s hands reach over and slide my seatbelt across my chest, his knuckles grazing my chest sending shivers through me. He buckles it in and clears his throat before switching in the ignition.

“Matt?” I utter out whilst his focus is fully on the road ahead.

“Yeah, y/n?” he says softly, almost an apologetic tone after his first one when he pulled up.

“Nothing, nevermind.” I say, trying to think of a subject change because I’ve decided to take good Matt while i can get him.

He looks at me as if he knows what i was going to say but he doesn’t pressure it.

“So i thought we’d get something to eat then we could go to the college parking lot and practice?” Matt asks while turning the radio on, keeping it low.

“Uh…yeah,sure” I say, feeling like old times but not. I feel the remains of our friendship, just as strong as it was 11 months ago but now, the tension in the car is enough to smother me.

We drive the 3 minute drive to downtown in silence but I keep catching Matt stealing glances at me. I keep noticing his eyes scanning across my legs, skimming over my dress. It’s enough to force me to cross my legs, not because i’m uncomfortable but because i’m desperate to relieve some of the tension.

We park into the restaurant Matt brought us to, my heart palpitates once I realize just where he brought us. It’s not a restaurant, it’s a diner. It was our favorite place to go to the last few summers. Matt and I would come out here every weekend and get a banana milkshake and share a slice of cherry pie.

“Aw Matt you must not hate me completely!” I say sarcastically as i slap his shoulder playfully and get out of the car. Matt gets out and follows behind me up the sidewalk and I feel his hand on my lower back.

“I don’t hate you at all y/n.” He says quietly from beside me.

“It’s more complicated than that” He says before ruffling my hair and picking up his pace to get in front of me to open the glass door to the diner.

When i walk in, in front of him, I don’t say anything and just immediately head for the booth in the corner we always sat at. The red leather booths and white tables are all still the same, the dim lights barely doing anything although they don’t necessarily need to considering the summer sun lights up the place all by its self.

Matt sits down in front of me, sliding into the booth with ease. The waitress almost immediately comes up behind us. “Jill!” i say happily not knowing that she still worked here, she’s worked here since we were kids and was always the sweetest.

“Y/n and Matt… why haven’t i seen you two in here in so long?” she says, her wrinkles more apparent now from the last time i saw her, the gray in her hair showing more.

“Oh uh” I start stuttering, not knowing what to say

“Sorry jill, y/n got diagnosed with lactose intolerance. She kept farting so we stopped coming in here!” Matt says smiling deviously.

“That- that is-“ I start to protest but stop. “That’s right. Yup, blew my britches away!” I say laughing towards jill but side eyeing Matt with all i could muster. Jill smiles and nods but looks suspicious.

“So what’ll it be?” she asks us, her pen and pad ready.

“Two banana shakes with extra cherries and a piece of cherry pie.” Matt says quickly, ordering the exact order we always got.

Jill arches a brow. “I thought you said she’s lactose int-“ she starts to question but I cut her off.

“Oh just for old times sake! i’m taking a stomach pill too, i’ll be fine” i say giving her my cheesiest grin. She nods in agreement and walks away with our order.

As soon as she’s a few feet away Matt breaks out laughing.

“Seriously?!?” I say trying to act mad knowing i secretly want to laugh too.

Matt rolls his eyes at my obvious dramatics and leans up towards the table, resting his elbows on it. “So how bad are you at driving? You gonna wreck us immediately?” He asks with a smirk that i know all too well.

“Yeah haha so funny.” I snark back.

“You didn’t answer the question.” He says with raised eyebrows, waiting on my answer.

“No i’m not gonna wreck us…immediately.” I say the last word a bit quieter.

“hey i’m joking, i know you probably suck right now but that’s because you haven’t had one teach you that actually knows how to fucking drive. You’ll catch onto it fast. You always have been a quick learner” he says in a more serious tone. I notice his hand is not even an inch away from my mine and i jerk my hand back quickly. My movement makes his eyebrows jerk up and he looks like he’s about to say something but he stops when jill appears back with our shakes.

“Just a minute on the pie” she says smiling while handing us the pale yellow shakes with whipped cream and a two cherries on top.

We take our shakes and start to sip on them when jill walks off.

“Mmm” he moans in delight.

“Good?” i ask him smiling.

“yep” he says while chewing on the straw.

It’s silent for a moment as we just stare at each other. We haven’t held eye contact this long in months. My loud mouth just has to break the silence tho.

“Hey Matt, can i ask you something?” I can see something in his eyes change, he looks unsettled. Like he’s scared of the un-knowingness of what i’m gonna ask.

After he hums in agreement I muster up the courage to ask him. “Can we-“ i take a deep breath in. After a moment of him looking at me, as if he’s begging me to just say it. I chicken out. Like a fucking coward. I don’t want the pie anymore, i’m not hungry, i just want to go. “Can we go?” i say, stiffening my body. Matt’s face falls in disappointment and nods his head.

I watch him as he tells jill to put the pie in a box and he pays the bill before walking out in front of me without so much as looking at me.

I walk out behind him and I notice it’s going to storm soon. Clouds are forming and the sky is darkening so i get to the car quickly. I slide into the passenger seat, Matt throws the buckle over me quickly without touching me and i can tell his nostrils are flared like he’s angry but i choose not to say anything.

Again, I leave all of my feelings bottled up because i’m too scared of saying anything i feel.

We drive in silence and the only noise is the traffic surrounding us and the patter of my foot bouncing in anxiety. We get to the parking lot and thank goodness it’s mostly empty so theirs not much i could hit.

For a moment, it’s silent and Matts eyes dart over to mine and with the way he looks, I can’t tell if he’s about to cry, yell, or run away. It’s such a fragile situation and I don’t know what to do. Only to wait and see what he says.

“y/n…” He breathes out a sigh but his eyes flinch and he sits up straight. “Uh nevermind let’s get started, it’s about to rain.” He cannot be serious. I need him to say it because i’m too afraid to and I know. I know i’m selfish, I know i’m a coward but i still push at him.

“No, matt what was you gonna say?” I turn my body to his and I grab his wrist away from the ignition. His eyes shoot down to where i’m holding onto him but I don’t move, i keep my hand over his.

“I said never fucking mind” each word coming out like a needle against my skin. I can tell he sees the hurt in my eyes because his eyes quickly softens.

“I’m sorry” he says quietly, and i can see the conflict in his eyes. I want to know what’s going on in his head so fucking bad.

“No wait, i’m not sorry.” as he says this, the rain starts pattering against the windshield but I don’t move my eyes away from his.

“what?” i say, i’m not angry, just confused. I want him to let me in. I need him to let me in.

“Forget i said anything, I can’t have this conversation with you.” He says, shaking his head.

“Great it’s fucking raining! Now we can’t have our driving lessons because I don’t think you could drive on a normal road- hardly a wet one” He shouts, not at me, but at the wheel.

I don’t get hurt at his words because I can tell he’s not mad about the lesson, he’s not mad because i suck at driving but because we both want to say it but we don’t know the other one does. I’m almost completely sure Matt has feelings for me but i’m so scared that he doesn’t, that i stay silent. I think he feels the same way. I get the frustration. I’ve felt it too, although i think he’s felt it for much longer.

“Matt” I coo, bringing my hand up to the side of his neck. He immediately jerks away and starts to open the door.

“Fuck y/n, don’t touch me.” he spats out before quickly getting out of the car and stepping into the pouring rain that has tremendously picked up over the last two minutes. I quickly follow behind him and open the door.

“Matt, it’s pouring! Get back in the car!” I shout, trying to speak loud enough so that he can hear me over the rain.

We both are standing in front of the car, only maybe a foot and a half away from each other.

“say it Matt” I say sternly, feeling tears brew in my eyes. Matt only shakes his head no and looks as if he’s struggling to breathe.

“No y/n, I want to hear you. You fucking say it. Stop being such a coward y/n.”

I feel tears fall but i don’t think he can tell because of the raindrops also falling onto my face.

“Matt do you understand how much i’ve missed you? You were my best friend” I say, now sobbing and putting my heads on my head, moving my feet around taking small steps.

“You left me. You’ve looked at me like you’ve hated me ever since my sixteenth birthday and you’ve never even had the audacity to tell me why!” I shout at him.

Matt’s eyes grow huge and he looks so frustrated. “You cannot be serious. Do you seriously not know why?!” I flinch at how loud he’s yelling but shake my head no slowly

“My god y/n, I couldn’t be around you, not after-“ he stops.

i shake my head in confusion. “What Matt?! after what?!”

“After you told me that you didn’t want to fucking talk about the fact that i’m in love with you! You didn’t care about me. Or my feelings, you didn’t care that i’d suffer just because you didn’t want our friendship to change. Hell, you could’ve at least rejected me and moved on but y/n…i couldn’t be just your friend. Not after that. So yes, i kept away. Also, for fucks sake, i wasn’t looking at you with hatred. Anytime you’d come into view, it made me want to curl up into a fucking ball and never come out because I had to look at you and know that i could never have you. Do you know how much that fucking hurts?!”

The rain pouring down coating Matt’s brown hair making it droop down onto his forehead makes it hard to read his expression but I can still tell what he’s feeling right now. I always have been able to just know.

“Matt- You have got to believe me when i tell you i didn’t know. I didn’t know, even on my birthday when Blake said all of that, yes i thought you might’ve just found me attractive sometimes or something, but i didn’t want to talk about it because i thought you was embarrassed and it would be awkward or- fuck i don’t know. But Matt-“ I start laughing, unable to contain how funny i find the absolutely ironic situation we’re in right now.

“You find this funny?” he asks me

“No, No- actually well- it kind of is because- Matt I love you, so fucking much and ever since you stopped being my best friend, i had to see you and it was complete and total agony because like you said earlier- i’m a coward Matt. And i’ve been completely oblivious to the way you’ve felt about me and i didn’t want things to change- so I didn’t say anything. But now I’m telling you, I miss you and I love you and I don’t want to be your friend Matt. “

I finish off breathlessly, panting, trying to draw in air without the droplets of rain.

Matt comes closer and places his hands on the sides of me head before moving the wet hair off of my face.

“I think that we are both fucking idiots and waisted eleven months of what could’ve been filled with this” And then his lips are crashing onto mine, the kiss is rough and desperate as Matt tugs and nips on my lips with his teeth. His lips are soft and pillowy like I’ve always thought they would be. I can’t help but to think about how long i’ve wanted this, how long ever both wanted this. It feels just as good, and right, as i thought it would.

After a few more moments, Matt pulls away, leaving a mix of saliva and rain on my lips.

“Let’s go before we get pneumonia” Matt says laughing as he pulls me towards his car.

I slide into the passenger seat, my dress dripping and my hair plastered to my skin with rain. Matt gets in and reaches over to buckle my seatbelt. I smile at the gesture and he rolls his eyes before turning on the ignition.

“Will you still take me out driving tomorrow?” I ask.

“Yeah of course” he says as he starts to back out, placing his right arm on the headrest of my seat and turning his neck back to see out the back window. The sight makes me shift in my seat. His veins in his arms are drool worthy and the way his clothes are sticking to him, really helps my imagination.

“y/n” he deadpans, turning back around.

“Hm?” I ask, snapping out of my thoughts.

“your staring.” he says, smirking.

“i’m allowed to.” I say smiling.

“Since when?” He asks while pulling out of the parking lot.

“since you became my boyfriend.” I say smiling dramatically.

“Oh yeah? what do i get?” Matt asks smirking.

“Hmm, we’ll see.” I shrug.

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