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mononijikayu · 17 days

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choice — erwin smith.

‘If I were on the verge of death this mission… Y/N, let me face it and rest.’ She could still feel the warmth of his hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin with a gentleness that belied the harsh reality of their world. She had taken his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly, holding onto him, holding onto the promise she had made. ‘Promise me.’

GENRE: alternate universe - canon divergence;

WARNING/S: manga spoilers chapter 84 (midnight sun), angst, romance, hurt/comfort, canon character death, crying, hurt, sadness, remembering memories, grief, fighting, canon related violence, depiction of implied romantic relationship, depictions of character death, depiction of grief, depiction of canon related violence, depiction of canon character death, depiction of hurt, depiction of blood and injuries mention of memories, mention of relationship, mention of blood and injuries, commander erwin!, scout! reader;

WORD COUNT: 4.6k words

NOTE: i found my erwin fics and decided to rewrite them for publication, so i hope you enjoy them. its a really good one, i think. and it's a rare call back to my time with aot!!! please look forward to me branching out to other stories again. i'll publish something jjk tomorrow too!!! thank you so much for reading, i love you <3

EVERYTHING WAS A BLUR. Levi's hand trembled slightly as he gripped the serum, his fingers curled tightly around the vial, knuckles white from the strain. The tension was palpable in the air, an invisible force pressing down on everyone in the room.

Hanji, their expression torn between determination and desperation, struggled to restrain Mikasa, whose eyes were blazing with fury and anguish. Mikasa strained against her hold, her voice a mix of pleading and anger, begging Levi to make a different choice. Her cries cut through the stillness like shards of glass.

Floch, across the room, had Eren pinned against the wall, his hands gripping Eren's shoulders tightly as if afraid he might bolt or collapse. Eren's gaze was distant, hollow, his body slack against Floch's grip, but his eyes bore the weight of countless decisions, each heavier than the last. His expression was unreadable, lost in a place between determination and resignation.

She stood there, apart from it all, her heart heavy as she watched the scene unfold before her like a cruel play, its lines and actions repeating over and over. The echoes of past decisions, of choices that had led them here, resounded in her mind. She had seen this before — not just once, but a thousand times, in a thousand different ways, and each time it felt like another piece of her soul was being chipped away.

A thousand times of sorrow, a thousand times of pain, of grief that seemed endless.

She wondered if perhaps that was all she

To her left, she saw Bertoldt, the traitor, sprawled on the ground, unconscious. His face was contorted in agony even in his unconscious state, his body broken and torn apart. The lower half of his legs were missing, replaced by grotesque, steaming stumps where flesh met air.

Steam hissed from the wounds, curling upward in thin, wavering wisps, dissipating into the cold air. His betrayal had come at a cost, and now his once formidable Titan form seemed pitiful, a broken shell of what it had been.

A few feet away lay Armin Arlert, the boy — no, the young cadet — who had been burnt alive by flames so fierce they seemed to have etched themselves onto his very bones. His skin was charred, blackened, and blistered, his small frame twisted and fragile, like a crumpled piece of paper.

His bright eyes were closed, his breathing so faint it was almost undetectable, and yet there was a strange calm about him, a finality in his stillness. She felt the echo of his screams in her ears, a phantom pain that gnawed at her insides. The fire had claimed him, scorching through his entire being, leaving behind only a husk of who he once was.

And then… there was him.

Erwin Smith stood beside her, tall and unwavering, his presence like an anchor amidst the chaos. His face was set in that familiar, resolute expression, eyes sharp and determined.

But beneath the surface, she saw the toll this day had taken on him — the weight of all the lives he had led, the burdens of countless decisions, each one chipping away at the man who had carried them all.

The dirt and blood on his skin were like war paint, symbols of a struggle that was not yet over. His breath was steady, but his gaze betrayed the weariness of a man who had pushed beyond his limits.

When it came to injury and blood, you were used to it. When you lay together, the smell too was heavy. And yet, it was all different now. Now that no breath echoed through him. No longer housing a soul, this husk of a shell.

His hand hovered near hers, so close that she could almost feel the tremor in his fingers, the slight hesitation that spoke volumes. He was right there, standing beside her, as he had so many times before. In his presence, she felt the push and pull of conflicting emotions — admiration and anger, faith and doubt.

He was a symbol of everything she had fought for and everything she had lost. She didn’t need to look up to know his expression; she knew it too well, had memorized every line of his face, every flicker in his eyes.

The scene before her was an unending cycle of torment and choice. Her eyes moved between the bodies, the broken figures of the living and the dying. Erwin, Bertoldt, Armin. Each name weighed heavy in her mind, each a testament to the violence and agony that had become their existence.

How many times had she witnessed this? How many times had she stood at this precipice, feeling as if the world was about to shatter into a thousand irreparable pieces?

Erwin’s presence beside her grounded her in that moment of harrowing clarity. For all the sorrow and pain she had known, he had been a constant — a reminder that even in the face of utter hopelessness, someone had to keep moving forward.

"We're giving the serum to Erwin, that is that!" Levi's voice rang out with a ferocity that left no room for argument, cutting through the chaos like a blade. The finality in his tone was unmistakable, a command that brooked no defiance.

Yet, even as he spoke, the young Jaeger cadet, Eren, continued to cry and scream, his voice raw and desperate, pleading with Levi to save his friend. His words were a frantic chorus, a manifestation of the anguish in his heart, but they fell on deaf ears. The redhead, Hange, quickly pulled Eren back, her face a mask of determination mingled with grief.

"Everyone away from here! In this place, we're going to revive Erwin," Levi barked again, trying to maintain his focus, trying to shield his resolve from the relentless tide of emotion that threatened to engulf him.

But then, there was Mikasa Ackerman. The girl with the dark eyes and the fierceness of a storm. She moved with a fluid grace, her muscles coiled like a spring ready to release. She lunged forward, her face contorted in a mixture of anger and heartbreak, her hands reaching out as if to claw back what was slipping away.

For a long time, she had seemed like a machine, all cold steel and sharp edges, but now… now she was anything but emotionless. There was something burning in her eyes — a ferocity that came from the depths of her soul, from a place of profound love and an equally profound loss. She felt as deeply as any of them. Perhaps even deeper. Deeper than Levi, deeper than Hange, perhaps deeper than anyone she had ever known.

And then, everyone left. One by one, the cries and shouts faded into the distance. The decision was made. The line was drawn. The living had been pulled away, leaving only the dying and the few who dared to remain.

But she stayed.

She could not move, could not bring herself to step back into the shadows and let it all fade away. She remained, rooted to the spot, as if by some unseen force, watching as Levi, with deliberate steps, approached Erwin. The tension in the air was thick, and Levi’s gaze was fixed on Erwin, his face a mask of conflicting emotions — determination, regret, sorrow.

Levi halted suddenly, his steps faltering as he noticed her there, kneeling beside Erwin. He hesitated, his brows furrowing. He couldn't read her expression; her face was an enigma, a puzzle that eluded him as much as Erwin's own had so often done. He studied her, but her eyes, her mouth, the set of her jaw — none of it gave him any clue. She seemed as much a mystery as the dying commander beside her, caught between life and death, between decision and indecision.

Without a word, she reached out, her hand brushing gently against Erwin's golden hair. She could feel the dirt and grime that had settled there, the earth that clung to him like a shroud, as if the ground itself sought to claim him before his time.

Her fingers trembled slightly as they moved through the strands, feeling the weight of the dirt, the roughness of the earth that seemed to signify all the burdens he had borne.

Her touch was tender, almost reverent, as if trying to convey a thousand unsaid things, a thousand unvoiced apologies and regrets, all in the delicate brush of her fingers through his hair. There was something sacred in this moment, something that felt like a goodbye that hadn't been spoken, a final connection to a man who had been so much to so many — a leader, a savior, a man with a dream that had carried them all forward. Your...your lover.

Erwin and you had never said anything about it. Labels weren't really what you both were able to say. Permanence was a rarity in your world, after all. A tie to humanity was a bane to the shoulders carrying the weight of the world. And yet....yet both of you know it. Felt it. Knew it.

Levi's gaze never left her, trying to decipher the meaning behind her touch, trying to understand what she was thinking, what she was feeling. But her face remained unreadable, a canvas of calm amidst the storm, as she continued to stroke Erwin's hair, her breath shallow, her heart pounding in her chest like a drumbeat, matching the rhythm of a life that was slipping away.

In this moment, she felt the gravity of the choice they were about to make, the choice Levi was about to make, and she wondered if there was any right answer in a world so torn apart by suffering and sacrifice. The world seemed to narrow down to this single moment, this single touch, and she realized with a sinking feeling that whatever happened next, nothing would ever be the same.

"Y/N," Levi called out, his voice cutting through the stillness as he stopped a few feet away from her, urgency lacing his words. "Get away from him. We're running out of time."

Her eyes didn't leave Erwin's face, but her response was swift and firm, "Don't make the choice for him." She turned her gaze to meet Levi’s, and in her eyes, emotions swirled and collided — fear, sadness, resolve. Emotions that danced just beyond his understanding. "Not this time."

Levi's brows drew together, his frustration evident. "Huh? What do you mean, you brat?" He didn't have time for this, not now, not when every second mattered. He needed her to understand, to see reason.

"You chose for him before," she continued, her voice quieter now but no less forceful. "And he took it to heart. There will be no point in this." Her gaze fell back to Erwin, her hands brushing gently against his skin as if she could soothe him even in this state.

"There is," Levi shot back, his tone blunt and unwavering. "Erwin lives."

She shook her head, and for the first time, he saw the sheen of tears brimming in her eyes. "What for?" she whispered, her voice barely more than a breath, yet it carried the weight of her breaking heart. "Levi, you'll be bringing him back to hell. There is no need for him to… to see it all over again."

"Y/N—" Levi began, his voice faltering slightly.

"I saw it today, Levi," she interrupted, her words almost a scream, yet they came out in a low, choked sob, thick with the grief clawing at her throat. "You freed him, and now you want to cage him again? That's enough, please…"

Levi’s eyes softened, if only for a moment, as he watched her turn back to Erwin, her movements tender and deliberate, as if any sudden motion might shatter what little was left holding her together. He saw the way her hands trembled, the way her lips quivered as if she were on the verge of breaking. “Oi…” he started, but the words died in his throat, replaced by a quiet bewilderment. "You want him to die?"

She closed her eyes, tears spilling over and tracing paths down her cheeks, and when she looked at him again, her expression was raw and open, the pain evident in every line of her face. "

I love him," she replied softly, her voice filled with a sorrow so deep it seemed to echo in the very air around them.

She leaned down, her lips brushing against Erwin's brow in a gentle, final kiss, her hands cradling his head tenderly as if trying to imprint this moment into her soul. If he was alive, he would have smiled at her. His own orbs looking at her face, as though memorizing each and every muscle, each and every expression, each and every moment. But he would never do so ever again.

"I prepared myself for this moment long ago, Levi. That’s why I'm letting him go to rest. As you should."

Levi felt something shift inside him, a familiar ache he had tried so hard to bury now resurfacing with a vengeance. He stared at her, her words sinking in, crashing against his resolve like waves against a crumbling shore. For a moment, he faltered. Her plea echoed in his mind, mingling with the memories of Erwin's countless sacrifices, his relentless drive, his dream that had become a curse. Levi knew that she wasn't asking for Erwin to die; she was begging for him to be free.

He felt his chest tighten, felt the weight of her grief pressing against his own. He had seen so much death, so much loss, but this — this was different. This was a plea from someone who had loved Erwin not just as a leader but as a man, who had seen him not as a symbol or a figurehead but as a human being with fears, dreams, and regrets.

“Y/N…” he whispered, almost helplessly, his hands tightening around the serum as if it could somehow solve everything, make everything right. But nothing was right. Nothing had been right for a long time.

She held Erwin close, her tears falling freely now, soaking into his dirt-streaked hair, her body shaking with the force of her sobs. "Let him rest, Levi," she whispered, a broken prayer against his skin. "Let him go where he doesn't have to fight anymore, where he doesn't have to be a soldier. Let him have peace."

Levi’s hand dropped a fraction, his gaze torn between Erwin’s still face and the woman kneeling beside him, her own spirit breaking right before his eyes. For once, in this world of endless battles, he felt the ground shift beneath him, felt the weight of what it meant to be a human in a world that seemed to forget what humanity meant.

In the silence that followed, he heard the quiet beat of his own heart, heard her quiet sobs, and he wondered if there was ever truly a choice in this place of unending suffering.

Levi looked down at the syringe in his hand, its weight seeming to grow heavier with every passing second. His gaze shifted to Erwin's still face, then to Y/N, her eyes pleading, full of pain and something deeper — something that touched a place in him he rarely let himself feel. He took a deep breath, steadying himself, feeling the full gravity of the decision pressing down on his shoulders, a burden he could scarcely bear.

He made the choice.

His hand moved, quick and certain, not allowing himself to second-guess, to hesitate any longer. He turned away from Erwin, his feet carrying him toward the burned and broken body of the young boy, Armin Arlert. Without a word, Levi injected the serum into Armin's arm, pushing the plunger down, watching the clear liquid disappear into the boy's veins.

There was no turning back now.

He stepped back, and it wasn't long before the transformation began. Armin's body twitched, convulsing violently, his eyes snapping open with a look of wild terror. He gasped, his mouth opening wide as an unearthly scream tore from his throat, a sound that echoed across the broken landscape, a sound that seemed to pierce the very heavens themselves.

His skin crackled and smoked, his limbs flailing as if possessed by some primal force. It was a cry of agony, of rebirth, a sound that spoke of pain and confusion and the violent struggle for life.

"(Y/N)…" The soft murmur caught her attention, pulling her gaze away from the horrific sight of Armin's resurrection. Her heart seized in her chest as she lowered her head, her eyes falling to the parted lips of her dying lover, Erwin Smith.

His voice was barely a whisper, so faint she almost missed it amidst the chaos around them. She was certain he didn't know she was there beside him, even after all these years together, all these battles fought side by side, all these nights spent dreaming of a future that seemed so close and yet so impossibly far away.

"Let's… listen… to my… father's stories again..." Erwin's voice was broken, fragmented, each word a struggle, a final breath barely escaping his lips. His eyes were glazed, unfocused, his body limp in her arms.

Those were his last words — a quiet request from a man who had lived his entire life in search of the truth, a man whose heart had been filled with endless questions and doubts. He wanted to go back, back to those days when things were simpler, back to when he had believed in the stories his father told him, back to when there was still a chance to believe in something more.

She listened, tears streaming down her face, each drop carrying a piece of her breaking heart. She felt his pulse slow beneath her fingertips, felt the warmth begin to fade from his skin. She felt his heartbeat — once strong and steady, the rhythm that had carried him through countless battles — slow to a stop. She could no longer feel it, the silence deafening in her ears.

"You died in my arms, my love." she whispered softly, her voice breaking, her body trembling with the weight of her sorrow. She held him close, cradling his head against her chest, her fingers running through his hair one last time. "Just like you wanted…"

Her words were a quiet lament, a final goodbye. She had known this moment would come, had prepared herself for it, or so she thought. But now, with his lifeless body in her arms, all her preparations felt like dust in the wind.

She had loved him with everything she had, had believed in him, had stood by him even when the world seemed to crumble around them. And now he was gone, leaving her with nothing but a shattered heart and a memory that would never fade.

She held him, her tears falling silently, mingling with the dirt and the blood and the sweat that covered them both. She held him as if by doing so, she could keep him a little longer, keep him from slipping away entirely. She held him because it was all she could do, because in the end, there was nothing left but this — this final act of love, this final goodbye.

Levi stood nearby, silent, watching as she wept, his own heart heavy with the weight of the choices he had made, with the price of their survival. He had chosen life for one, and in doing so, had condemned another to death. He knew there were no right answers, not in this world, not in this hell they lived in. There were only choices, and consequences, and the burden of living with them.

Levi and Hange stood side by side, their eyes fixed on the scene unfolding in the distance. The young cadet, Armin, devoured the traitor Bertolt with a savage ferocity that seemed almost inhuman. Steam rose from his new, massive form, swirling around him like a shroud. It was a sight both grotesque and tragic — a boy forced into monstrosity, into survival by any means, at the cost of his innocence.

Hange turned away from the chaos, her gaze softening as it fell upon Erwin’s lifeless body. Her fingers reached out, trembling slightly as they brushed over his eyelids, closing them gently, tenderly, as if she could somehow grant him the peace he had never found in life.

Levi turned his gaze to her, watching the grief that etched itself into her features, the quiet sorrow that hung in the air between them. He could see it in her eyes — the mourning for a comrade, for a friend, for a leader whose dream had been left unfulfilled.

"He's gone," Hange whispered, her voice barely more than a breath, each word heavy with emotion. She pursed her lips, struggling to maintain her composure, to keep herself from breaking. Erwin had been their anchor, their constant, and now he was gone.

"Perhaps it's better this way." Levi replied with a soft sigh, his own voice tinged with a rare vulnerability. "He won't have to be in his hell anymore."

His eyes flicked back to Erwin's face, still and serene in death, free from the burdens that had weighed him down for so long. He couldn't help but think that maybe, in some small way, Erwin had found the peace he had never known in life.

Nearby, Floch’s brows furrowed in confusion and disbelief. He watched Y/N, still holding Erwin’s lifeless body, her hands running through his hair as if memorizing the feel of each strand.

“Why…” he began, his voice trailing off, unable to grasp why she seemed so calm, so accepting of what had happened.

Y/N's mind drifted back to a moment long ago, a memory that played like a silent film in her mind. Erwin’s voice came to her, clear and steady, even as his body had been failing.

‘If I were on the verge of death this mission… Y/N, let me face it and rest.’

She could still feel the warmth of his hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing against her skin with a gentleness that belied the harsh reality of their world.

She had taken his hand in hers, squeezing it tightly, holding onto him, holding onto the promise she had made. ‘Promise me.

"He wanted to rest." she said, her voice barely above a whisper, her fingers continuing to dance through his hair as if in a trance. Each touch was a farewell, a quiet goodbye to the man she had loved, to the dreams they had once dared to share. "This was his final choice."

‘I promise.’ she had whispered back then, her voice trembling with the weight of what she knew would come. She had made that promise, not understanding then how much it would cost her, how deeply it would cut.

Now, as she held him in her arms, she understood. She had kept her word. She had let him go, had let him find the peace he had sought for so long. It didn’t matter what others thought, what they questioned or doubted.

She knew what he wanted. She had known him better than anyone, had seen him not just as the commander but as the man beneath — the man who had carried a burden too heavy for one person to bear.

Her voice trembled with love and pain as she whispered once more, "You’re free now, Erwin. You’re finally free."

Levi glanced at her, recognizing the truth in her words, the inevitability of what had happened. There was nothing left to say. They had lost so much, sacrificed so much, and yet somehow, they had to keep moving forward, keep fighting, even as their hearts bled for the ones they’d left behind.

The air hung thick with silence, broken only by the distant rumblings of the newly born Titan, a sound that seemed almost distant compared to the weight of their loss. Levi’s eyes lingered on Y/N, her face shadowed with grief but also with a strange sense of serenity, an acceptance of what had come to pass. He could see it in her expression, in the way she cradled Erwin's body with a gentleness that spoke of deep, unwavering love.

Hange's breath hitched as she moved closer to them, her eyes searching Levi’s face for some form of reassurance, for some hint of what he was thinking, what he was feeling. She had seen him make countless choices before, seen him bear the weight of the world on his shoulders, but this… this was different. This was a choice he had never wanted to make.

“Levi…” she began, her voice soft, almost hesitant. “Do you think… do you think he knew?”

Levi's gaze didn’t leave Y/N. He took a moment before answering, his voice low and rough, like gravel underfoot. “I think he knew.” he said quietly. “I think he knew exactly what he wanted. And he made sure we understood it too, in his own way.”

Hange nodded slowly, understanding, though it didn’t make the pain any less sharp, any less real. She looked at Y/N, seeing how tightly she held onto Erwin, how she seemed to draw strength from his lifeless form, even now.

“He loved you,” Hange whispered, their voice filled with a quiet, knowing sadness. “He really did. You were his reason… for so much.”

Y/N nodded, the tears falling freely now, her heart breaking all over again at the words. “I know.” she replied, her voice catching in her throat. “And that’s why I had to let him go.”

Levi felt a pang in his chest, a rare, raw emotion that he rarely allowed himself to feel. He turned away slightly, trying to hide the tightness in his eyes, the moisture gathering there despite himself. “We should… we should get moving.” he said, his voice gruff, more of an order to himself than to anyone else. “There’s nothing left for us here.”

But Y/N didn’t move. She stayed where she was, holding Erwin close, her fingers still tangled in his hair, her eyes closed as if she were trying to memorize the moment, to imprint it into her soul forever.

“Just a little longer..” she murmured softly, more to herself than to anyone else. “Please… just a little longer.”

Levi hesitated, his heart aching as he watched her. He knew the pain of losing someone, knew it far too well. And yet, he also knew the strength it took to let go, to keep moving forward when everything inside you screamed to stay, to hold on, to never let go.

“We’ll give you that,” Hange said quietly, a soft, understanding smile on their lips despite the tears in their eyes. “Take your time, Y/N. As much as you need.”

Levi nodded, finally turning his back to them, his gaze shifting to the horizon, to the future that lay ahead of them, uncertain and filled with shadows. “We’ll wait.” he added, his voice softer, more human than it had been in a long time. “But not too long.”

Y/N nodded, her eyes never leaving Erwin’s face, her heart aching with the knowledge that this was the last time she would see him, the last time she would feel his presence, his warmth, the strength that had always been there, guiding them, leading them, even in their darkest moments.

She leaned down, pressing her lips to his forehead one last time, a final kiss, a final farewell. “I’ll always love you, my love.” she whispered, her voice breaking, her tears falling like rain. “Always… until my last breath.”

And with that, she let him go. She released him from her arms, from the pain of this world, from the burdens that had weighed so heavily on him. She stood slowly, feeling the weight of her grief settle into her bones, a heaviness that she knew would never truly leave her.

Levi and Hange watched, silent, as she rose, as she took a deep breath and turned to face them, her face streaked with tears, but her eyes filled with a quiet, resolute strength.

"Let’s go." she said softly, her voice steady, though her heart was shattered. "We have to regroup now."

Levi nodded, a rare, almost imperceptible smile touching his lips. "Yeah."

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magicxc · 7 months

Text

Safe Word

Pairings: Survey Corps x Reader - how they react to the safe word being called

Word Count: 2967

Warnings: cuteness overload

A/N: This is how I think our bois would react to the safe word being used. Everyone is respectful and fluffy in this so enjoy and tell me what ya think!!

If you’re up to it, check out my headcannon with aot x safeword ignored. Its as it sounds - a darker version of this, so do proceed with caution.

Headcannons Masterlist

Safe word - sparrow

Eren - Maybe it was the emotional toll of the day or the sensitivity right before the start of your period, but you just couldn’t keep up. Normally when Eren got a little rough with you it was an enjoyable experience but today just seemed rather, off. Legs curled around his waist as he steadily drove into you left you with nowhere to go; taking everything he was giving your body. And suddenly it became too much to handle, the pressure of it yielding more discomfort than pleasure. You tried to hold on, for him, but the tears that pricked at your eyes had Eren slowing down before your words did.

“Sp- sparrow,” you heaved, the waterworks now in full effect. Halting completely Eren pulled out of you, thumbs wiping away at your cheeks as he bombarded you with questions.

Apologising for something he didn’t yet understand, he engulfed you in a bear hug until you were ready to express yourself; slowly rocking you both back and forth as he kissed along your temple. After explaining to him how you felt overwhelmed with everything, he’d made you promise to always tell him when you weren't feeling like yourself, especially if it was at the expense of his pleasure. Nodding in agreement, you’d watch as he left to get you a bottle of ice cold water; cuddling you to a peaceful sleep once you’d both settled down.

Levi - being humanity’s strongest soldier meant that Levi had to be extra careful when it came to everyday people. Certain things like a friendly game of arm wrestling or even cracking eggs for breakfast had to be approached cautiously. And while you did allow him to let loose in the bedroom, even that he conducted to a certain extent; always holding your safety in high regard. However, his idea of taking it easy and your idea of taking it easy were vastly different and while you two were still trying to gauge his strength in the early stages of your relationship, there was a safe word put in place.

“Sparrow,” you’d weakly cried out, eyelids heavy and limbs flaccid from the sixth round you and Levi had found yourselves in. While the sex was great and the orgasms mind numbing, six rounds on your poor body was beginning to take its toll. You’d felt weak and the heated feeling building in your belly to signal yet another explosive finish was borderline sweltering. No longer did those black dots that danced around your vision feel fun and soon the empty contents of your stomach threatened to rise. It was like a HIIT workout for a beginner but without the prep.

Sweat prickled at your forehead and body moist enough to stick to the sheets you were all too eager to tap out, revealing to Levi just how wrecked you were beginning to feel.

After hearing the safe word he stopped immediately, eyes bulging out of his sockets at the idea that he’d hurt you beyond repair. He tended to be a bit drastic in thought when it came to you, but that didn't stop the apologies that tumbled from his lips. Levi would go on to make you a cup of green tea to calm down your symptoms and would keep you up in conversation until the sun rose; much like a mother making her child sing in the bathtub to ensure their safety while she left the room for a towel. How your quiet boyfriend managed to talk you into the wee hours of the morning surely surprised you, but you’d gladly indulge at the efforts he’d go through to make sure that you were okay.

Erwin - Erwin was a generous lover, sometimes too generous as his tongue worked wonders on your clit. Tongue flat against the nub, he’d let enough drool gather at the tip to rub around the bud as effortlessly as possible. Coupled with the two finger combo he’d drive into your pussy had you seeing literal stars. Erwin had come to learn that not only did this garner powerful orgasms for you, but it also garnered quick ones. It was something about his skilled body that would have you unraveling in three minutes flat. And much like the Commander of the Scouts appreciated when his planning yielded successful results on the field, so did the Commander in the bedroom appreciate when his woman yielded successful results from his ministrations; so much so that he’d barely hear the word leave your mouth.

Stopping, he’d uttered “what?”

“I said sparrow,” you panted.

“Baby, I- I’m so sorry,” he apologised.

Thankful for the break, all you could manage was to catch your breath before Erwin began interrogating you with questions of how you felt, where’d it hurt, when did it become too much, what do you need, why didn’t you stop him sooner, etc.

You literally had to shut him up with a finger to his lips, clarifying to Erwin that while it was more pressure than pain, you were fine now. Did it stop him from hurling ten more questions your way? No! And while you were initially annoyed, you were appreciative that he’d cared so much that he was willing to nail down the exact line of no return so he’d know never to cross it again.

Connie - “thwack” was the loud echo of your skin crackling against Connie’s palm. Bent over his knee, he found himself ‘punishing’ you for whatever roleplay you guys were currently in the middle of. Eight spanks in and the fiery ache to your ass cheek had you quickly forgetting exactly what scenario you two were acting out. All you could think of was how soon you wanted it to end.

Apparently you’d stop counting which meant that Connie had to start from the top and maybe it was the soreness of your ass, but his hits seemed to rain down even harder on your puffy skin - no doubt leaving behind a handprint. And by the third count you were effectively tapping out, croaking out your safe word before his hand could connect again.

“Sparrow, sparrow, sparrow.”

Hand halted high in the air, Connie quickly turned you over and wrapped you in his arms, begging for your forgiveness. The pleading never ceased and when you were finally able to gather your thoughts, all you wanted was to call it a night.

You’d forgiven him rather quickly especially considering you both were trying something new. But after he’d rub your skin down in aloe vera gel, you two discussed the idea of a middle word, much the same as a yellow traffic light signals that a car should slow down, this middle word would signal that whatever act is being done should continue with caution.

Plopping down next to you, Connie had showered you with kisses, apologies, and now snacks; even managing to slide in a joke or two. While this was an uncomfortable experience for you both, his love language was definitely laughter, trying his best to keep the atmosphere light but also working towards making sure that something like this never happens again.

Jean - While you and Jean tried to keep sex relatively fresh, nothing could ever really beat the classics - good ole fashion head. It was fun and oftentimes turned you on just as much. Face lodged between his thighs, the floor beneath you was a slobbering combination of your spit and Jean’s fluids.

His hand guided you on the exact pace he wanted you to go, muttering out instructions of how you should please him in the process. The better it felt, the more aggressive he tended to get, hands cradled around your neck as he bobbed you along his shaft.The words you attempted to say came out mumbled and instead sent vibrations to all the right places; and what he thought was you amplifying the experience only made him thrust his hips toward your face more forcefully. Spit bubbling out the corners of your mouth and tears streaming down your face, Jean couldn’t have felt more turned at the sight, his brows crinkling to confusion once your fists began to beat against his thighs.

Halting his movements, he helps you up to which you breathlessly utter your safe word - “sparrow.”

Jean’s face instantly fell and regret filled him to the brim at the idea that he’d been so caught up in his own pleasure that he didn’t realise just how uncomfortable things were getting for you.

Of course you knew Jean would never hurt you on purpose but you couldn’t help but feel a little frustrated with him. Opting to talk about it some more in the morning when you’d be more emotionally settled, you watched as Jean ran a bath for you; delicately washing the stress from your body and carefully preparing you both for bed. In between it all, he’d profusely apologised, promising to be more attentive the next time you found yourselves sexually active.

By the end of the night, you were pretty much over the incident and insisted on being the big spoon to Jean to allow him a bit of vulnerability in a moment that no doubt left him feeling distraught.

Onyankopon - It was safe to say that Ony was above average. While sex with him was definitely mind blowing, it had its moments of discomfort and today seemed to be one of them. Fresh from date night, you guys burst through the front door, lips glued to the other as fingertips slid along heated skin. Clothes were stripped and scattered throughout the room, with your foot slamming the door close behind you.

Soon enough, you’d both ended up on the couch with you atop Ony, riding him into oblivion. And boy was he excited to help you, thick hands tightly secured around your waist as he grinded you into his hips; a nice rhythm that was slowly picking up in pace. His deep thrusts only added to the sensation, dick at the tip of your cervix, as you tried to ride yourself into creating more moisture for the friction.

You were eager to have sex with Ony and you still wanted to, but sometimes it took a little more work to get you as ready as he was. Even though you were turned on, your body needed more time to catch up with your mind. And try as you might, you had to call it quits for now.

“Ohhh my gosh, Ony!! Sparrow, please sparrow,” you’d chanted.

Carefully dislodging himself from you, Ony carefully sat you on the chair, tucking loose strands of hair behind your ear before landing a soothing kiss to your forehead.

“I’m so sorry pretty,” he lamented.

He’d thank you for speaking up and went on to inspect your body for any bruising. This wasn’t the first time you and Ony had gotten caught up in the moment and it surely wasn’t the first time your body was slower to catch up to his; but it would be the first time you’d felt all too tender to proceed.

You were still ready to go, but you definitely needed a little more prep and after confirming that you were okay to continue, Ony insisted on adding to the moisture with his rigid tongue - ensuring that you’d come at least twice before entering you again. He’d even let you ride him, after much convincing, and was hell bent on taking things slow tonight and for the next several days to come.

Reiner - Maybe his boss had pissed him off. Or maybe there was a discrepancy with one of his coworkers. Hell, maybe he’d woken up on the wrong side of the bed, but for whatever the reason Reiner was not giving you any moment's reprieve. If the head board that viciously slammed against the wall wasn’t indication enough, your sore pussy surely was.

Not that it happened often, but you didn't mind when Reiner lost himself inside you. In fact, you’d insisted on it; insisted that he mold your body to his will all in the name of relieving his frustrations. But today felt different, felt unfamiliar. You watched as his lips came together to let out grunt after grunt - looking on as his eyes stared straight through you, dark and obscure. You’d even noticed the way he handled your body so carelessly, tossing you around as if you were a rag doll.

And you’d begun to feel exploited. Like a stranger using your body to get himself off and the lump that bloomed in your throat had made the safe word almost impossible to say; but somehow you’d managed, and thankfully he’d heard.

“SPARROW,” you’d yelped.

Reiner’s thrusting had slowed to a complete stop, confusion etched into his every feature; and finally you’d begun to see cracks of your boyfriend, almost as if his spell of anger was lifted.

He’d been mortified when you explained to him how you felt, dropping to his knees as he clung onto your torso in a fit of apologies. He stayed like that for a few minutes and when you both came to, you assured him that you’d be fine and encouraged him instead to talk to you before he decided to use your body as a sole source of relief.

Reiner agreed, but things between you sort of fizzled out over the weeks to come. It felt like he was walking on eggshells when it came to you in conversation and physical touch alike; gently kissing you or even hugging you, almost like he was afraid that you’d break at the slightest pressure. No matter your efforts to assure Reiner that you were fine, you decided to let it run its course.

And over time, he’d learn to do a lot of self work and reflection in terms of getting to the root of his problems all the while being more open in discussing his true feelings and thoughts with you. You were overjoyed that he was finally taking the necessary steps toward improving his mental health. And when he finally felt comfortable enough to effectively communicate with you, to have sex with you, and to even get rough with you, well, it was divine.

Armin - Nipple play was Armins latest obsession. He’d gotten into it after a sexy session between you two and what started out as initial embarrassment turned into full fledged enjoyment. So much so that he’d encourage you to get in on the action as well.

Although nipples were an erogenous zone for everyone, you couldn’t help but feel that yours were a little more delicate; or at the very least Armin had a higher tolerance for pain. Clamps latched onto each nipple, Armins hand was firmly wrapped around your throat as he drove into you again and again. There would be the occasional tugging of the clamps and what started out as hypersensitivity very quickly turned painful.

You’d tried to utter the safe word, but with Armin’s hand around your neck, the best you could do was mouth it and fortunately for you he was an attentive enough lover to catch it. Unwrapping his hand, you murmured the word once more for good measure.

“Sparrow.”

Still inside of you, he’d come to a standstill, peering beneath wet eyelashes in what you could only describe as panic. Fat teardrops hit your cheeks from above as he works to unlatch the clamps and pulls out of you entirely; the apologies never ceasing.

Seeing Armin so riled up had gotten you equally as emotional and before you knew it tears were sliding down your cheeks as well, arms flying around his neck as you held him close. The night grows quiet save for your hearts that beat against the others chest and when enough time passes by, you both decide to get some sleep, still wrapped tightly in each other's arms, choosing to discuss it in the morning.

Floch - Floch had turned you all the way out. You’d become perfect in every way for him and that included sexual. Ass hiked into the air, you bounced into the mattress each time he drove into you. And it’d felt great, it always did. But somehow you just couldn’t get into the groove of things this go round. To put it simply, you weren’t in the mood and it wasn’t until he was balls deep did you realise. Were you turned on? Yes. Was your body responsive to his? Absolutely. But your mind wasn’t in it and you’d wanted this session to end just as quickly as it started. No matter how far along you and Floch got into sex, let alone penetrative sex it was always crystal clear between you two that consent could be revoked at any time; and you decided to do just that.

“Sparrow,” was the safe word you so tiredly whispered.

Immediately Floch stopped thrusting, removing himself from you as he kissed up to your spine until he’d reached your neck, sorry on the tip of his tongue in between each peck. He’d carefully flipped you over and proceeded to shower your face in butterfly kisses, apologies continuing to spill from his mouth until you were able to speak.

Worn out, you’d go on to tell him how you felt and he’d mildly chastised you for even letting it get this far. After all, he is a grown man and would never put his pleasure before your well being. Softly smiling, you thanked him and leaned in for an open mouth kiss.

To seal the deal, Floch went on to massage your entire body down with your favorite oils until your light snores lured him into his own slumber; eager to get a full night's rest so he could treat you to your favorite breakfast in the morning.

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