#FUCK MAN LMAOOOO

[waluigisgaybf]

Everyone always tells me they’re so jealous of my high metabolism mostly because it also means I can eat pretty much anything whenever and not worry at all about gaining a bunch of weight- and like- I do actually get it from their point of view- but honestly it actually really fucking sucks-

For one it actually means I struggle big time with making sure im not UNDER weight because my body feels like it just wont ever gain ANY I stg- and from my other shit like adhd n stuff I really suck at eating enough as is which makes the lack of weight gain EVEN WORSE 😭

BUT ALSO EATING PROBLEMS OR NOT!!!!!! HIGH METABOLISM SUCKS ASS TOLERANCE WISE!!! Like tolerance for literally ANYTHING. I have to put WAY higher quantities of ANY substance into my body to get even just a normal base effect the average dose/amount is supposed to have- ALSO MEANING THAT SHITS WAY MORE EXPENSIVE- I have to use more weed to get high than usual (even my FIRST EVER time with it I had to do a SHIT ton before it effected me at a base level)

I need to have higher med doses most of the time- they have to shoot fucking extra novocaine into me even ??????? cause my metabolism is just THAT fucking fast-

AND THEN ALCOHOL- OBVI IT HASNT CHANGED SINCE THEN- BUT THE VERY FIRST TIME I WENT OUT WITH FRIENDS AND GO DRUNK- THEY BOUGHT ME 3 REALLY STRONG FUCKING DRINKS- AND 5 FUCKING SHOTS- 5!!!!! BEFORE I FINALLY GOT ACTUALLY TIPSY-

DO YOU KNOW HOW EXPENSIVE THAT IS???!! IF I WANT TO GET A NICE NORMAL DRUNK OR EVEN TIPSY AND BUZZED SO I CAN BE MORE SOCIAL AND COMFORTABLE- IT COST SO MUCH MORE FUCKING MONEY!!!!!!!!!

AND THE DRUNKS AND THE HIGHS ALL WEAR OFF WAY FUCKING FASTER BECAUSE MY BODY IS METABOLIZING IT SO FAST

HIGH METABOLISM IS FUCKING HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[hysterotic]

Please make more of those twitter threads of the Toman characters 😭 my ass was HOLLERING at all of them ☠️

meowww here’s how it feels to have tkrv guys in ur tl

[ratatatastic]

my favourite thing is that its been 3 weeks and we're still asking about the tincan ocean mishap and how it wasnt supposed to happen in the way that it did.

"i did not know that wasnt allowed i promise you...we had nobody with us to say matthew dont be an idiot dont do that" and other lies to tell yourself

KSDK News | 7.18.24 (x)

Sun Sentinel | 6.28.24 (x)

"i think somebody said its technically not allowed but i said it was too late it already happened" oh so there was someone who did do a matthew dont be a idiot dont do that to him but it was AFTER the fact huh and they only allowed this to happen on the terms that the cup wouldnt touch the water...

so heres matthew dunking the cup into the ocean and also matthew and ekky throwing benny overboard during the incident in question and yes multiple local news sources had to reassure viewers afterwards that cup in saltwater should be fine (it was not fine)

Las Olas Beach | 6.25.24 (x)(x)(x)

[benny pic came from his igstory so we mourn the fallen sourcelink o7]

heres them bringing up the cup ocean incident while sasha was in wimbledon to cheer on his gf and guest starred on the volkswagen desk for a bit a week after the incident

Wimbledon Championships 2024 | 7.4.24 (x)

and its so funny he says that he knows saltwater is bad for the cup because...

id like to bring up exhibit A (written account of him bringing the cup over to the beach which incited the cup ocean incident)

and exihibit B (visual of him bringing the cup over to the beach which once again incited the cup ocean incident)

it isnt clear if sasha was aware of the whole "dont dunk the corrosive metal into the ocean" before or after the incident i just think its particularly funny how now he has to go on tv and go yeah that was bad we cant do that from now on like a scolded kitten

and also brady getting upset over not getting credited for the idea because this is what matthew said about it when asked the day after it happened

Pat McAffe Show | 6.26.24 (x)(x)

is he absolutely in every right to get a little pissy about it? yes. does it also make him seem even more like a little brother in the process especially with the way matthew had to go BY THE WAY. IT WAS BRADYS IDEA. AND HE WAS MAD AT ME FOR NOT SAYING THAT SO IM SAYING THAT NOW BUT ONLY AFTER TARYN BROUGHT IT UP. oh yeah absolutely. from one little brother to another it very much reads like that.

EDIT: it was actually ellie his fiancee who quips this because she was in attendance during the hospital visit (youll see her in the bg here) when this interview takes place and that makes it even cuter that she was like hey remember to give your baby brother credit oh this family is so cute 😭😭

[michi-chelle-draws]

quick sticky note doodle for towa’s bday !

[bardicious]

LMAOOOO. omfg, I just realized that Spock saw Sam leave his empty cup on Jim and Uhura's table, and then introduced himself with a "frustrating" while taking that empty cup and giving it to the waiter. LMAOOO SAM KIRK IS A SLOB AND SPOCK HAS HAD ENOUGH.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

sometimes i think about how Wally's handwriting is so similar to Barnaby's and then i start Wailing

[painfullyprickedandticked]

no offense but I'm hoping at this point Stolas and Vassago are just besties + Vassago and Andrealphus have some enemies to lovers fast paced burn bc the passive aggressive shit I've seen against Stolitz shippers on my TL is not it, chief

[usertoxicyaoi]

"At that time, really ... it was sweet when we were filming [His Man 2]. So lovey-dovey ..."

2Sung's 85th Day Date Vlog. HIS MAN 2 (2023).

[coridallasmultipass]

(( Inspired by the "Aphids" comic bc the dj bro panel had me cryin: https://www.tumblr.com/coridallasmultipass/746888021783298048?source=share ))

Probably went overboard editing this and trying to add emoji subtext, telling a story, you know the deal. Also, the needles evoke a Saw 2 vibe for me, but that's awesome. I'm all about that unsettling mind game shit (not pictured, but I have a spiral on my tongue piercing bead, because I'm dedicated to the aesthetic). Speaking of spirals, yes, that is a Kamina keychain on my phone. In fact, I have all four main characters danglin' off that motherfucker. Shit's heavy, but no pain, no gain. Gotta keep these strifin' fingers in shape, brah. Anyways. I got the green stuff, so hit me up.

[mirkwood]

"Captivating" GIRL STFU KSNKSNDKSJ

[emmyrosee]

Emmy I just thought about motorcycle man samu in the tight sports leathers and helmet and I’m literally (s)creaming so bad rn. Imagine him with a strong but still soft body all wrapped up in those tight outfits. He’s an upperclassmen in your college and an occasional costumer at the small noodle shop you work at on your days off. The first time you meet him was brief and you don’t actually know it was him. To be fair you were rushing to a lab you were late for and you weren’t looking where you were going -honestly though, how can you miss a man so deliciously big as him?- he had just stepped off his bike right into your path and now you’re face first into his tits with your books scattered on the ground (this is sounding suspiciously similar to the piece you did for college Samu IT WAS SO GOOD EMMY PLS MORE). The next time you meet him he’s leaning against the wall in your living room waiting for your roommate to lend him some notes from a lecture he missed. He has his helmet off this time but he’s still all decked out in his motorcycling outfit and you don’t normally stare but it is genuinely a crime for him to look that good. You stumble out a quick hi before darting to the fridge to get some water and a snack and the whole time you can feel his eyes on you (I don’t know where to go from here but GOD I just want this man to be so smug about himself and wrap my arms around him while riding on the back of his motorcycle. Pls I would literally let him do anything to me) -pip anon

COLLEGE OSAMU MY BELOVED I MISS HIM SO MUCH HES SO DELICIOUS

Also my former mechanic/mechanic k1nk really comes through so I am sorry for any sin you might see PFFFF- also this isn’t what you asked for but I make the rules so-

But unlike his brother, Osamu is just not into the sport life anymore. He’s still bulked up and muscle, hell he is still Atsumu’s brother, but there’s no volleyball in his blood anymore. He turns himself into a love for working with his hands, and the minute he lands his eyes on a pretty motorcycle for cheap- just needed some touch ups with the spark plugs and ignition, there was no way it wasn’t meant to be.

And he pimps it out good.

It’s hot, he’s hot with it, it makes the ladies sweat and men intimidated, he’s always working on it outside of classes and he always takes it on a first date to make anyone behind him squeak and hold onto him tight.

You hate him and that stupid bike.

He’s so ridiculous with it, it’s so goddamned loud every morning, when he rolls up to the small shop you work at- who cares if the nice old couple who owns the store loves the bike and sends him on little errands, it’s obnoxious, and it causes major backups in your line from people staring.

(It definitely doesn’t do that, people just stop and look because they’re interested in the beautiful metal. But that’s not the point, okay, it’s obnoxious.)

You wouldn’t even care, okay, if he wasn’t so obvious about owning the bike. It’s his personality trait at this point; one time, when you were making a mad dash to your class, you literally ran into Osamu, who’s built like a damn house, and he sent you flailing back onto the curb. His helmet and keys clanged down next to you, and at first he looked at the helmet, then he looks at you.

A flurry of apologies came out from his lips, accompanied by an offer to give you a ride, but your scraped palms and sore tailbone caused tears of frustration to well in your eyes, and you shoved him away with a bark.

You hated the motorcycle. And you hated how much he cared for it. It’s a piece of metal, why does anyone love it sooooo much?

It doesn’t help that every Tuesday, you come back to your apartment, your home, your safe space, and the damned hunk of junk is parked, because one of your roommate’s is best friends with Osamu (actually, it’s your roommate’s boyfriend’s bestie, which makes it even worse bc he doesn’t even live with you-) and he comes by to catch up on some notes; that ugly ass helmet with corny ass gold embossing just sits on the table that you eat at, mocking you.

You grumble, slip your backpack off and stomp to your bedroom to get away from the smell of gasoline and sweat and absolutely flowing testosterone.

You’re in the middle of your pity party when there’s a knock on your door, and when you answer it, there’s a fuckin’ barn standing in your doorframe, that horrendous smirk on his face.

“Hey sunshine,” that stupid slight accent drawls, and you snarl. “Gonna run to your noodle bar, you hungry?”

“I’m there every other day, I’m more than fine.”

“Shame,” he sighs dramatically. “Only reason I go everyday is to see you.”

“Get OUT!” You bark, grabbing a pillow and swinging it at him, but before you can hit him with it, he’s laughing and slammed the door shut for protection.

“And don’t ever go out of your way to see me, you freak!”

Spoiler- he does continue to go out of his way to see you.

Granted, you never saw it like that, it was more him flexing off his motorcycle than anything else, but now with the idea he was doing it to see you makes you even more shy around him. You can’t meet his eyes as easy, when he makes an innuendous comment, your cheeks get embarrassingly hot, and god, those fucking compression shirts he wears because of how long he rides starts to drive you up the wall.

Stupid shaggy hair and stupid big muscles and stupid cocky smirk and stupid arms that could easily scoop and pin you to the wall and stupid lips that could mark the deepest of hickeys on your neck.

God damn it.

You hate stupid sexy Osamu and his stupid sexy bike.

The one sliver you’re able to get away from it is when you’re locking up the shop for the night, no sight of anyone for the last hour and a half, and despite the hot broth it’s too cold to walk into the shop, and it’s a time of peace.

Well- at least until you hear the reviving of an engine behind you.

“Hey,” he smirks. “You need a ride? Dangerous for you to be walkin’ ‘round out here alone.”

“Are you stalking me, you freak?”

“No,” he shrugs. “But roomie told me you got out at 10. This is me picking you up to drive you back to your place.”

You scoff as you cross your arms, “I’ve walked this route plenty of times by myself. I can handle it tonight too.”

“Wasn’t a question, doll.” He reaches behind him for the rear compartment’s helmet, shoving it towards you for you to put on. “I’m driving you back.” He gives you a playfully cock of his head and pokes his tongue in his cheek, “what would I do if somethin’ happened to you?”

You cock your brow, “you practically shoved me on the concrete a few months back and you checked on your precious helmet first; you don’t give a shit what happens to me.”

“You’re still on that?” He sighs, taking off his helmet to make direct eye contact with you. “I told you I’m sorry, I heard the loud noise before I heard you. You know I’d never fuck around if you were hurt.”

“I was hurt. I couldn’t write notes for three days.”

His brow cocks cheekily and he gives you a cocky shrug, “well then next time I’ll be a little more gentle with ya, hm?”

Your cheeks flush and your hands ball into fists, trying to ward off the clamminess. Your little heart pounds, and with those giant grey peepers looking you up and down, you hate the way the dynamic shifts. “You’re such a fucking-“ you let a shaky exhale out of your nose. “Fine. Take me home.”

“With pleasure,” he purrs, letting you put on your helmet and swing a leg over the back of his motorcycle. A gasp slips through your lips as your hips shift to try and get comfortable behind him, but it’s taller and it looks and wide enough for his massive legs to stretch over but not necessarily yours, and for fucks sake how does he deal with these vi-fucking-brations-

“Hold on tight,” he calls behind to you, revving the engine once, twice, and a third before he feels your arms cling tight around him. You practically hear the smirk in his voice when he chuckles:

“I like to go fast, babe.”

[nabaath-areng]

I got stuck in bed entirely because my pulse went haywire, but now I finally got a window of enough energy to get downstairs and grab whatever the machine is called that checks your blood pressure and pulse. And the thing that's so confusing is that technically the numbers would indicate that everything looks completely healthy and normal.

But I have naturally low blood pressure and yet I get those intense spikes where my pulse will go from like 70 ish to 100+ without warning and leaving me immobilized for however long it decides to race. And the only reason I could check now was because it calmed down enough for me to actually stand up and walk without fearing I might collapse, I have no idea if it was actually higher than what the machine is telling me now.

My pulse always caused me issues (especially during sports) growing up, but I never got wrecked to this level before. I feel a tiny bit better now but I can feel that it's not completely over yet, and I don't know when it will be. Laying in bed makes me feel fucked up in the head from despair but I have no other choice when it's the only thing that doesn't make me feel like I'll crumble and fall over.

I guess the upside is that the pain flares I had this morning is giving me a break now, and that the racing pulse helps me keep a bit warmer than usual so I won't need to turn the heater on lol. Nothing bad that doesn't bring something good I guess.

[cloud-based-and-rainpilled]

I cannae pull an all nighter anymore without amphetamines so you bet I’m writing tomshiv/tomgreg hell combo 4+ months late at work under the watchful ashamed eyes of God

[allpromarlo]

sakamoto days trailer been out for a day and here come the damn stsg stans.

[ongreenergrasses]

the world is infinitely worse off without my friend

[hookhausen]

having a crisis about turning 25 in january so i compiled a list of anime characters that are also 25 and honestly i dont even know if this list made me feel good or bad LMAOO:

L (death note)

Saitama (one punch)

Speedwagon (jjba)

Spain (even tho i forgot how ages work in hetalia i guess the internet says hes 25)

georgi & christophe (yuri on ice)