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velvett-tearss · 3 years

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Inertia — Jean Kirschtein

summary: A little gravity and spilled coffee never hurt anybody, and it certainly wouldn’t hurt Jean, especially if coming from you.

warning: cursing, gender-neutral reader (no pronouns mentioned), you won’t get the gist of it if you don’t remember 8th grade science lmao ❤️ (laws of motion)

genre: modern au, fluff

word count: 1.3k

a/n: very much an impulse post, this has been collecting dust in my drafts for too long lmao, I hope you enjoy this <3 I sure didn’t 😀

Jean has never been good with science.

He learned it for a number of years in different classes — biology, chemistry, physics — and he still couldn't tell you anything other than that mitochondria was the powerhouse of the cell.

It wasn't all that bad at first. He did enjoy it in the earlier years of school where most of his teachers breezed past it along with social studies. It was when the class actually started to learn periodic elements that things took a turn.

He learned it, nonetheless. There really wasn't a rule that gets you out of being taught a subject, as uninteresting as you may find it or the class itself.

Despite this, Jean isn't exactly a lost cause in the science department. A few things have stuck with him, believe it or not. Gravity, photosynthesis, some Charles Darwin dude.

But now, he wishes he payed attention more in science class. Maybe he would've understood what you were saying the first time he met you.

"Geez, do you always have somewhere to be?" Jean had asked you with a scowl. He was sprawled on the floor, looking up at you. The two of you weren't acquainted yet. Not necessarily.

He placed you very easily, though. He'd seen you running around the university's campus a lot of the time. You never seemed to be still, in one place, in one piece.

The reason behind it? He didn't know or care.

You had bumped into him a number of times. The first three times, Jean waved the incident off in good-nature. He thought himself to be a man with patience, something you didn't seem to have. There was no harm in running into someone from time to time.

It was the fourth time that he wasn't so pleased with. Each time you bumped into him, you sent him tumbling on his ass. Hard. He always landed on the floor in a comedic position like those cartoon characters on T.V.

And each time — no matter the day — you, somehow, remained perfectly unscathed and standing. That wasn't even the worst of it: you always stood there, a hand on your hip and an impatient expression painting your face.

All that ever did was bruise his ego and ass a bit. You usually went your separate ways after quick apologies, and Jean would see you leave in a quicker speed than when you'd arrived.

But this time around, you had a cup of coffee in your hands.

"What if I do?" you had countered, bending down to help him off the ground. You were scowling. Scowling! How could you look so displeased when it was him who'd been spilled with coffee?!

“Maybe you should manage your time better.” he bit back, allowing you to help him up.

"Maybe you shouldn't walk along the inner corners of hallways."

"Maybe you shouldn't run in the building." Jean told you, trying to ignore the large patch of his damp shirt that clung to his midriff. It was sticky and hot, and he didn't like it one bit. "Besides, everyone knows the inside lane is for leaving."

"No, it's not." you threw back quickly, as if you had been prepared for this interaction. Had you had this conversation with someone else before? How many other people had been victim of your coffee throwing and iron step?

"The outside lane is for when someone is leaving, and the inside lane is for coming in. Same goes for stairs."

Jean raised a brow, patience running dangerously thin on him. "Who made that rule up?" he questioned, unimpressed by your words. He refrained from calling you something that might’ve gotten him a smack to the face.

"Rising is harder than descending." you explained, crossing your arms over your chest. You gave him an expression that mirrored his. "Plus, the inner lane is shorter than the outer lane. It's— Well, it's the law of gravity."

You spoke with such conviction he feared he'd been wrong about everything in his life. Besides, he didn't know a thing about gravity other than that it kept him from flying into space.

"Alright, fine, but why would you run with a steaming cup of coffee in your hands?" Jean asked in retaliation. He may have lacked in the science department, but he knew his common sense quite well. "It's like you want to spill it all over people."

Your mouth opened and shut quickly. He raised a brow, awaiting for your comeback that never came. Instead, you did the weirdest thing.

You laughed at him, eyes crinkling slightly at him. It was then that he realized maybe he wasn't so mad at you after all, Spilt coffee never hurt anybody, right? He would live to see the next day, so was there really any harm?

"Okay, you're right." you admitted, almost bashfully. Your eyes traveled down to the brown stain of coffee on his dress shirt. "I shouldn't run around with hot drinks anymore, but you shouldn't walk along the inner lane when you're leaving the building."

"Alright, deal. No more walking in the corners."

You nodded, lips pursed. "No more running with coffee."

It wasn't long after that he finally mustered up the courage to ask you out to dinner. He isn't gonna lie and say it was all sunshine and rainbows because it wasn't.

You were always running, always on the go. Were you running out of time? You had nowhere to be, yet you feared the thought of being late. Had you ever stopped and smelled the roses?

It was pretty hard at times. Getting accustomed to your way of things was hard. You were a mess before you met him. At least that's what you always say. Jean doesn't think so.

Maybe you were, in a sense. That was fine, too. It didn't bother him. Messes were made to be cleaned up after all, and he didn't mind leading the clean-up crew if you let him.

Things started sailing smoother as time flew. It was nice. Being with you was nice. You stopped spilling coffee on people. He stopped walking along the inner corners of hallways.

You never seemed to stop running, though. That was a constant in your lives. That was okay, too. Jean had to learn how to keep up with your never-ending speed, but you always let him set the pace. Maybe that's his favorite thing about you.

He taught you that being at rest isn't always a bad thing. You don't have to rush to get things done. Sometimes it's okay to just stop and be grateful for what's now and not what can be.

You taught him a fair share, too. You explained to him that the law of gravity isn’t actually about rising and descending. That had just been a lie to get you out of a bad situation. There was such thing as a law of gravity discovered by Isaac Newton.

Maybe Jean should've payed attention in science class when they talked about Newton because perhaps he would've understood what you were saying that first day.

All he knew was Newton's Laws of Motion, mainly the first: an object stays at rest or in motion unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.

He figured it was something like you.

As fast as you walked, you never seemed to stop. Not until you sent him to the ground on his ass with a coffee stain on his shirt. Maybe he was the unbalanced force that acted on you. He wasn't completely sure.

After all, Jean had never been good at science.

note: self-projected here bc I fucking hate science too ,, does this make sense or was I spitting gibberish skdkskdn

#snk x reader #attack on titan x reader #shingeki no kyojin #aot x reader #aot #snk #aot x you #jean kirschtein fluff #jean kirschtein x y/n #snk jean #jean kirschtein x you #jean kirschtein headcanons #jean kirschtien x reader #jean kirstein headcanons #jean kirsten x reader #jean kirstein x reader #aot jean #jean kirsten x y/n

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persianflaw · 4 years

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i keep meaning to put more succession thoughts here, because oh boy after The Big Hit in argestes you’d better believe i have a lot, but today i’m too tired because actual life update: i had my first day at work! cutting for length for the first time in maybe a thousand years

it’s a childcare facility, in case i forgot to mention it here. we actually have a few locations, and i was sent to one a little further away today because they were short-staffed; apparently this is pretty common practice. i’m not craaazy about that mainly because it meant i had an hour long commute total, but i know i was spoiled by my old 5-7min drive to work.

the head of the second location asked what age group i was most comfortable with, and when i said i was experienced with pretty much any age up from infants, she was like “oh well i was gonna put you in the baby room today cuz that’s where we’re down our team member” LOL. i said it was fine, which it was/is, i just don’t have as much experience with little babies. i’ve also never changed a diaper since we didn’t do that at my old job, and i am not mad that i still haven’t broken that streak today lol. i did get to feed a couple babies though and it was very tender. especially bc nobody threw up on me hooray \o/

i loved the babies. i don’t want to get too attached because i’m a floater for now, and idk how long i’ll even be at this location, let alone the baby room, but man they’re so cute. i actually preferred it to the older kids in some ways, because they’re emotionally a lot simpler; you hold them, you feed them, you change them (or your coworkers do lol), you watch them play. you can say a lot of goofy shit to babies, too, as long as you’re doing it with the right tone. buuuuuut: it fucking killed my back, man. it’s been ages since it’s hurt like this. up and down all the time, picking babies up off the floor and stuff. exactly the kind of shit that wrecks me. but man. there is something really special about picking up a crying baby and having them immediately calm down. we all need cuddles sometimes, i get it, buddy

i hopped over to the toddler room towards the end of the day, maybe my last half hour or so; we have different required ratios for kids:staff depending on age, and as the kids get picked up they obviously want to let some staff go home. it was a mixed group because enough kids had left by that point, twos and threes. also very sweet bunch. they were obviously a little more shy at first, but they warmed up to me, and i ended up reading to a couple of them, talking about toys and unicorns, you get the idea. (also: fucking up my back again by being utterly reckless while cleaning up. why did i bend down so carelessly? who was i trying to impress?) one of the shyer boys got upset about someone taking a ball he was playing with, and he went to ME to hug my leg, which completely melted my heart.

it’s funny, though; the day went by fast, but for some reason, it was when i left that i thought “man, i can’t wait to be done with this job”. maybe it’s because it was around sunset, so it was very visible that the day was done? or maybe it was my back, or the fact that i may not have taken my meds this morning. i still managed to keep my three day exercise streak going, even though i was wiped out by the time i got home: walked for half an hour this morning before my TB reading and half an hour on the elliptical after dinner. we’ll see how long that lasts with these kids wearing me out, though.

in short: a good first day, albeit one that motivated me to find a better job soon

#personal #text post

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obxlife · 4 years

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Hurting (John B x Reader)

A/N: Ayeee another John B fic! I feel like John B is the hardest character to write about for me and I just don’t know why lol. Also, this was requested by my friend Maggie @anonymous0writer so I hope I did a good job with this. Oh, and go check her out! She’s amazing and really talented!

Pairing: John B x Reader

Word Count: 1,765

Request: I gotta give you a John B. Maybe an angsty one where his girlfriend realizes he’s dead (maybe without Sarah? or Sarah goes with him bc of her dad?) that or one where JB gets hurt and you have to take care of him and get super worried? Thank you! ily

Summary: John B is dead. And now you’re mad at yourself because of it.

Warnings: Super angsty and a lot of guilt and self-loathing from the reader. Mentions of virginity loss and death.

I know this is short but I really am bad at writing angst :(

HURTING

You thought you had known pain. You really did. All those times your parents would express how disappointed in you they were, or all those times where you had just fucked things up and felt guilty.

They didn’t compare to this. They really didn’t.

You couldn’t feel the cold, humid grass that surrounded your knees and legs, and you sure as hell couldn’t feel your burning tears. You could only feel pain, and your sobs and everything happening around you seemed to be muffled. Almost as if you were all alone.

You were certain that the rest of your friends were trying to comfort you. But you knew nothing would work. They were hurting almost as much as you, and none of you were in your right minds to even begin to comfort someone else. All they could do was share their pain as you shared yours.

JJ was the first to wrap his arms around you. This was mainly due to the fact that his father and your parents hadn’t shown up at the police tent. So while Pope and Kie hugged their parents and sobbed into their warm and comforting chests, you were stuck with the blond. Not that you really minded, as he was probably more warm and comforting than your parents could ever be. Besides, you were used to JJ’s presence, as you had been comforted by him before.

Back then, your problems seemed to be the worst thing that had ever happened to you. The unreciprocated feelings you had for John B, JJ’s best friend, ripping you apart. All JJ could do was hug you and assure you that you would be fine. You would wrap your hands around the blond and tell him exactly how you felt and he would make sure you were okay again. And you were when John B finally got his head out of the gutter and realized he had feelings for you as well.

Those problems and that pain were nothing compared to what you were feeling right now. They were stupid and silly and dumb and childish and nothing. Now you knew what true pain felt like. It was blinding in a way that made you not even realize what was going on. Your friends were now all around you, hugging you, but you couldn’t even feel them. It was enraging in a way that made you feel anger towards the people around you and those who were guilty. Deputy Shoupe. Ward Cameron. His son, Rafe. Everyone. Even JJ, Kiara, and Pope.

The days before had been an absolute nightmare. John B had been blamed for a murder he didn’t even commit and he was on the run. And worst of all, he was on the run without you. And in your place was Sarah Cameron.

You wanted to hate her. You really, truly, deeply did. But you couldn’t. You knew the only reason she had followed after John B during his police chase was because she knew everything that had gone down at the runway. The only reason she had boarded onto the Phantom was because of her father. The only reason it hadn’t been you there with him was because he had begged you not to come with him.

The pain you felt was so enraging it made you hate yourself. Hate yourself for not getting on the Phantom and not following John B onto the runway and not going after him when he escaped from the car you were in with the rest of the Pogues. Your hate for yourself was actually guilt, just buried beneath the surface of what you portrayed to the outer world.

You didn’t realize how Kie and Pope had latched onto your arms and pulled you up while JJ kept himself behind you, preventing you from crumbling down again. Your tear-stained face was making everybody uncomfortable, never having seen you cry this way before, and your brusque movements were trying to push everyone away.

You didn’t have the strength for it anymore. You had kept everyone except John B at an arms-length during this whole treasure hunt, and now you just couldn’t take it. Your walls, much like yourself, tumbled to the ground and laid in ruins.

Your friends moved you into a car that you recognized as Heyward’s old pickup truck. Your breath was shallow and coming out in rapid strokes, and JJ knew you were having a panic attack. He felt one rise in his own throat, but he pushed it down to help you. His strong arms wrapped around you, whispering into your ears about how to control your breathing and how to calm down.

His arms didn’t feel like home though. And they never would. Because they weren’t John B’s arms. They weren’t the arms of the boy you loved. Instead of smelling saltwater and orange-scented shampoo, you smelled freshly cut grass and a hint of weed. You tried to shake the blond boy off for a second time that night, but once again, your attempts were proved futile. You were completely drained of strength, of hope, of life.

You had managed to calm down when the car stopped, and Heyward opened the door for you and JJ to step out. You looked up at the old fishing shack. This place was a living memory of everything that happened. Everything you had gone through and everything you had ever said to each other was here, in the Chateau. The walls were filled with memories, the cracks between the tiles in the floor filled with laughter and cheap beer, and the leaky roof dripped happiness. Another sobbed raked your body as you tore your eyes away, not knowing if you would be physically able to enter the old house.

JJ was speaking to Heyward, and after saying goodbye and wiping some tears away, JJ took you into his arms and led you inside.

You both stood at the open doorway, tears streaming down your face as you saw all the good that was held inside the Chateau float out into the night air through the open door. Everything - the memories, the laughs, the cries, the good and the bad - passed right between you and JJ, and you tried to grasp onto it with all your might. However hard you tried, everything slipped through your fingers, and your shared look with JJ was enough to have the both of you breaking down.

Somehow you ended up in John B’s bed. One of his few shirts that wasn’t a Hawaiian button-up was adorning your body as you submerged yourself in the dirty sheets. When you inhaled you felt the salty smell with the hint of orange you wished you could be wrapped around permanently. Another sob broke out through your lips as you remembered everything that had happened on that very bed.

From sleepovers before you had developed feelings for each other to losing your virginity. From sharing your thoughts on growing old together to him tickling you until you would give in and kiss him. From your panic attacks to his. Everything in the room reminded you of your boyfriend. The one you loved with all of your being and soul. The one you would always think about before going to bed and right after waking up. The one that put you though hell sometimes but it was all worth it for. The one you would live and die for.

But how could you do all those things if he was gone? Gone and never return. You screwed your eyes shut, trying to push away these dark thoughts. You tried to remember all of the good things about him, about John B.

His hair reminded you of waterfalls because of how smoothly it was always in place. The color of his locks reminded you of the chocolate bars he would buy you every once in a while. The highlights between the brown tresses would remind you of the beach and surfing and having fun with the Pogues. His eyes were so green they brought life into the world, almost as if there was truly a whole forest contained inside of them. The shape of them, although not exactly symmetric, was entrancing, and pulled your thought towards what John B could possibly be hiding behind his orbs. His mouth was always chapped, and you almost laughed as you remembered how much you would insist on him wearing chapstick, but his kisses were so soft that you forgot about their dry state almost immediately. The curves of his lips reminded you of his smooth-talking, almost as if his words were born from the bends of their outlining. John B’s nose was straight and long, and you remembered how soft his skin would feel when you would trace your fingers down the bridge of it after spending nights together. His voice was silky and sweet, and the thought of it made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. His words were romantic and breezy, his leisurely pace when speaking reminding you of lazy days spent on the hammock together. His body was crafted by gods, and you remember every dip and ridge of his muscles and bone structure. His laugh reminded you of crashing waves on the shoreline and discovering new things to do together. The jovial sound brought back memories of cliff jumping with the Pogues, inside jokes, and late-night, stary-skied bonfires. And finally, you thought of him. John B as a whole. And you thought of how his soul reminded you of a new born’s first laugh or blowing out dandelions or skipping through meadows and fields or surfing your first wave.

John B had been everything good in your life, and you couldn’t bear to even think he had been ripped away from you.

Through the fine walls of the Chateau, you could listen to JJ’s sobs. The noise was loud compared to your cries, but you had your mouth pressed against your lips as you tried to ignore what had happened. You brought your hands up to your temples and almost ripped your hair out at the thought of not having John B by your side anymore. It broke your heart and your soul in a way that you knew you never be able to recover from.

But that was okay. You didn’t want to recover. John B had been everything - and he would continue to be so.

As you drifted off to sleep that night, you imagined he was still with you. At least when you lied to yourself you could smile.

#outer banks #obx #obx netflix #john b #john b routledge #john booker routledge #chase stokes

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adore-you-hs2 · 5 years

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For this fit I have decided to use lily James as my main girl mainly bc of how beautiful she is (but you can picture anyone you would like).

———

I hate pirates, they're filthy, cruel and horrible, I was absolutely sure I never wanted to meet one.

That was until I met him.

Ever since I was a young girl, I was taught to stay away from any kind of danger especially pirates. I hear tales of their attacks, of how they prey on the on ports and how they take pleasure on hurting the innocent civilians. I am lord Henrys, daughter. And never in my life have I met a pirate and I don't plan on meeting one soon.

I pulled back the lace curtains of my window, letting in the light of the morning sun enter my bedroom. I looked out my bedroom window. Like always, it's a typical boring day In port royal. Navvy vessels are docked in the bay while officers are rushing around doing their daily business. I wonder what it's like there outside in the ocean. I gaze at the currents and waves. The ocean is quite beautiful, I don't mind waking up to the glistening water every day.

I trace my fingers along the wooden windowsill. There's not much adventure in the life of a lady. My whole life has been planned out, actually.

I walked down the stairs of the manor, waiting for me at the bottom was none other than the commodore.

”shouldn't you be at the ceremony?” I ask him as I reached the bottom.

The ceremony ended an hour ago, miss James, was deeply disappointed to see wasn't there, he replied.

”I'm so sorry commodore, I forgot”.

”that's alright, ”he smiles. ” I have a very important question to ask you, Miss James”

He takes my hand and leads me out towards the docks. I gulp. He was a fine man. Marrying him would be a perfect match but I long for adventure and the commodore would fail to provide that.

”now, miss James, I have known you since you were a little girl, ” he says. We walk along the dock, his sweaty hand in my tiny one. ” and it would only be right if I marry a fine woman to match my image .” he turns to me” and you have grown to be a very fine woman, Miss James.”

I know where this is going and look away. I get uncomfortable when people call me ’Miss’. Suddenly I see something from the corner of my eye, I look out towards the ocean and see a huge ship with black sails disappear behind a cliff.

”Commodore!” I say alarmed, ”did you see that?”

He looks towards the direction I point at but by then, the ship has gone.

” I don't see anything, Miss James. Now what was I saying?”

I am pretty sure I saw something. I know I wasn't imagining it. I continue to stare at the cliff as if the ship would emerge again. The commodore starts to drone on, the mysterious ship distracts me from all he is saying.

”Miss James, is there something wrong?” he says.

I turn back to me, ” no, nothing wrong” I say with a forced smile.

He continues to talk while I think about the ship. black sails - I've never seen such a ship, but I have heard of one. A ship with black sails, a ship preying on ports and settlements for ten years, a ship crew by the damned. I instantly know what ship it is.

”commodore! pira-” there was a sudden boom as the front of the dock smashes into pieces. Wooded planks fly in all directions. The air also starts to fill with earsplitting screams as the ship with black sails come back Into view, firing cannons at the town.

I look at the commodore in horror as he squeezes my hand.

”get yourself out of here, go to the manor!” he yells at me over the noise.

”Whatever happens don't look back, just keep running”

I bolt down the streets. Everywhere I look, I see buildings on fire and pirates running around attacking two people. The town is in total chaos. By my side, windows are smashing and guns are firing, followed by clashes of swords and screams of Panic.

I run towards my home when a blast a few meters away Knocks me out. I tried to blink a couple of times but the world around me starts to blur, just as my eyes where about I close a pirate walks into view with long curly hair hiding over his shoulder and a long coat reaching his knees. A long sword is clutched tightly with his right hand and a pistol in the other. He was the last thing I saw before the world turns black

~~~~~

I wake with a pillow thrown at my face, I sit up. I must have overslept again and father was waking me up.

It seems as if I'm in a small room dimly lit by candlelight. Where am I? As my eyes start to adjust, I notice there is a table with charts on top and a long dining table with a bushel of fresh apples. There is also a glass window with no light singing through, I can tell it's night time. At the end of the room, laying on an armchair,is a sword.

” oh the princess is finally up”

I hear a voice and turn to its direction, surprised. Standing in front of me is a boy, No a man.

He has long curly hair the shade of mud, and hanging over his muscley shoulders he also had green sparking eyes that I could get lost in all day and a smirk across his face as he pierced Down at me.

His name is legendary in the sea, the ruthless young pirate has the world fearing him by gaining such fortune over the short years, the pirate also has a thirst for blood, tormenting the lives of enemies as well as the innocent and that was only a part of his reputation.

He's rumoured to be perfecting stunning, almost an angel says the number of women who were lucky enough to escape him.

He takes a few steps closer to me and I get I closer look at him as he gets into the candlelight.

” I know you, ” I say to him ”you’ re the one everyone is looking for. I see your face on the wanted posters all over town. Your Harold styles”

”captain styles, ” he growls with an annoyed look on his face. ” if you know you wouldn't dare speak my name without my permission”

I look up at him in disgust. ”where am i” I ask.

”you're on the rosebud revenge, this is the captain quarters princess”.

I let out a giggle, and he looked at me in confusion. ”the rosebud revenge isn't a very scary ship name, for someone like you”

”its not the name you should be scared of darling, but the person who owns it” he sat down on the bed next to legs, he looked me dead in the eye as he pulled out a tiny knife from his pants that was cover in blood

My eyes widen as he pulled it close in my face.

”what do you want from me” I ask horrified.

” I dont want anything from you, I was simply bored and seen your pathetic island” styles says.

I can't believe him, he and his crew killed innocent people because he was bored, I gave him a look of shock.

I watched as he ran the non-bladed side of the knife down my cheek causing blood to stain my skin, I gagged at the smell.

” you're disgusting, how could you do that they done nothing wrong to you” I snap at him

He chuckles and removes the knife away from my face ” your quite loud for a little thing aren't you”.

” I'm 19, you disgusting pirate. Just wait til my father sees you” I say to as he got up from the bed ”now take me home!”.

I followed him as I also got of the bed as stood in front of him, I need to act brave.

”dont talk to me like that you stupid little girl, your nothing but weak in the ship!” he grabbed me by the neck with his strong hand (I was suprized it doesn't snap from the strength) and pushed us up against the dining table.

” trust me, little girl you won't be the same of you go back there” I gasp in pain as he gripped my neck tighter.

”Why are you- saying all these things” I turned my face away from him and he moved his face to my ear unable to look him in the eye

” you wanna you know why, because I killed everyone on that damed island, from the firstborn to the very last dying man ” he whispered in my ear and chuckled at my reaction.

I turned to his as tears filled my eyes, the rumors were true he doesnt have a heart.

” you couldn't- no! You monster, how could you”

I sobbed in defeat as I realized I will never see my family again and how much everyone must have gone through.

Captain Styles squeezed my neck one final time before letting go of my neck, he did nothing but stare as I sank to the floor.

I rubbed my neck trying to smooth the pain.

He bends down so he was at my level and gripped my hair into his hand.

” trust me, princess, after I figure out what I'm gonna do with you, your gonna wish you died with them”

I chocked a sob

”save you stupid tears, I'm done for now ” he finally walked away from me and before he left room he threw a diamond ring at me .

” from your precious commodore, I took from him after I drained the blood from his body, you might want to clean his blood on your cheek, Princess”

And with that he left me so drown to my sorrow

-///

@c-h-e-r-r-y-y 😅

#harry styles blurbs #harry styles preferences #myedit #harry styles imagines #hs #harry styles fight #harrystylesficrecs

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talkingismylifewrites · 5 years

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babe.... bAbe..... u can’t give them the Good Dad Rog shit and the. not follow up with the hot space angst.................... it’s what the people Deserve

i copied this verbatim from our chats so like, if its choppy that’s why. also, this is like….part 1 of what is really 85 pages of hc’s all about hot space so like…more to come??? sorry for the angst

it begins with brian having cheated on chrissie

and dom, who is pregnant with baby #5, takes Offense to it

basically dom gets chrissie her divorce and sets her up with crystal, who has always had a Thing for her

and while in the middle of handling this shit because dom is kickass, dom comes to the decision that Brian Is Wrong and Needs To Be Taught A Lesson

so she convinces ronnie to her side and is like, we do not interact with brian for as long as it takes for him to realize he fucked up

so basically hot space is such shit because dom and ronnie are like for however long you support brian we will not have sex with either of you

like you want to be there for him? fine but your hands gonna be there for you instead of us

john immediately is like good luck brian hope you figure your shit out

kinda backfires actually

roger and john are like uhhhhh

well this is a shame certainly bc we love u

but also

ig we…. gotta fuck each other

Oh No

they’re so smug about it until they receive an envelope from home

its pictures of both women together in various positions

john gives in first but roger is annoyingly stubborn when he wants to be

And that’s why John don and Ronnie all get to go to Bali

they come back

And roger has moved out

and he’s like. uh. can i? am i allowed to see the kids

and they’re like wait what?

and they’re like OF COURSE WHY DID YOU MOVE OUT???

and he’s like. you uh. u said? that if i stuck with brian that we were like. done. and like brian’s a fuckhead and chrissie deserved none of what he did but uhhhhh he’s also like. my best friend and he’s going thru some shit even if it’s self inflicted u know and um. you guys have each other i guess so like i knew you’d be okay but i just.

i’d really like to be able to see the kids

and fucking miami ends up at the door

with all the NDA’s and legal shit they sorted out

like ok so, here’s how separation is going to work

and they’re like wait no no no we just–we were just upset???

but roger is like but you threatened to end our relationship and withhold sex unless i give in to what you guys want and i’m sorry but i…i can’t do that

and miami is literally like you. you all. left. and you took the kids with you. you left a NOTE

what the fuck did u think he was going to think?

and they’re like WE TOLD HIM WHERE WE WERE

WE THOUGHT HE’D COME

miami is like

“bali” is not an invitation

like no you thought you could manipulate him into bending to your way

that doesn’t COUNT

miami is Team Roger

which is how they know They Fucked Up

and roger just kneels down before their little army of kids and gives them giant hugs and is like no matter what i will always love you guys

and then miami like takes him outside and is like i will take you all for everything he’s owed

and roger goes and lives with freddie

brian ofc has NO IDEA any of this is even fucking happening

maybe thats when roger starts The Cross

and its all angsty heartbroken shit and Johns like HE’S QUIT THE BAND

and the three of them are like shit

we do not work together without roger

miami ends up being like the weird go between who picks up the kids for their weekends with roger

and they beg miami for information

and miami is like you do not deserve to know how he is

and crystal is like look, i get that you’re supporting my girlfriend but now you’ve hurt my best friend and my boss like…do you understand how your actions have fucked me???

and roger isn’t really? doing well? but he also know he can’t afford to fall apart because if he goes to shit there’s an excuse for him to not be able to see the kids???? and like he doesn’t wanna think they’d do that??? but he only has legal rights to like. three of them.

and the thought of never getting to see all of his kids keeps him up at night and he spends a lot of time drinking

like a lot a lot

and he writes all the kids letters from where he’s holed up working on the cross and he makes it sound like hes! doing! so! well! on! his! own!

the kids get little gifts delivered? like all the time

bc he’s always thinking of them and he has the money to just.. send them trinkets

ugh ok so they’re separated for a while then like. just under a year maybe?

rog moves out of fred’s after two months

when it becomes apparent that uh

this isn’t

he gets his own little shitty house

this might be for Real

and he tries to get one with rooms for each of the kids

and when they come to visit he’s like look here’s something for you and bunkbeds for the twins that aren’t twins and a pool and maybe we can get a dog?

but the kids just want to pile into bed with him

but one of them like is crying? and john’s like whats wrong? and she’s lke do you think papa is lonely in his big house who’s going to cuddle him at night he’s all alone

and johns like……….. fuck

like not only have we broken the best relationship we’ve ever been in but we have broken our children too

the kids asking roger in the big puppy pile in his bed and he’s like well i cuddle you all SO MUCH while your here that it it keeps me warm even when you go home

that why i hug you all as soon as i see you!!!! i need a top up of your love!!!! gotta keep me toastie warm :)

and freddie is a fucking liar he’s like roger is doing BETTER THAN EVER he is so FUCKING HAPPY NOW and hes like ROGER IS THIRTY FLIRTY AND THRIVING AND YOU GUYS ARE MISSING OUT ON HOW HOT HE LOOKS NOW

like POST BREAK UP HE’S TONED AND FIT AND HE LOOKS AWESOME

flash to roger sitting on the floor of the kitchen in his boxers without a shirt on just sobbing into a pint of rocky road ice cream

roger: vaguely emaciated, surviving on cigarettes and gin and tonics

he hasn’t shaved but the man can’t grow a beard so its jsut ugly patches of hair

but!!! like the other three really only see him when the kids are around and??? yeah??? he looks good!

because no one can KNOW because as far as he’s concerned they didn’t want him

like he’s dressed nicely. he’s lost a bit of weight but well he’s hit his thirties so maybe not the Worst thing even if they did Love His Pudge

and he would never ever ever scare the kids by showing them how he looks

freddie’s like oh yeah roger’s GREAT

SO BRILLIANT

and you can’t tell he doesn’t sleep and has massive bags under his eyes because that is the dawn of the prescription sunglasses

TRIED TO HAVE HIM AROUND FOR SCRABBLE THE OTHER DAY BUT HES JUST GO GO GO THESE DAYS

freddies like you should hear the songs he’s written like that stuff is GOD

(the songs are just him weeping over a guitar track)

cut to the other day: freddie and roger playing scrabble for thirteen hours in between crying jags

the next day: chess, but the pieces are shot glasses

freddie is like in bed next to jim like i dunno how much more alcohol we can drink i’m running out of ways to make him drunk enough to forget

so jim makes him garden with him bc it gets him out of the house so he even gets a TAN but they just drink SO MUCH WHISKEY

then ronnie and dom and john are like look at him he’s golden tan he looks gorgeous

but the kids are like DAD HAS A STRAWBERRY PATCH!!!! AND WE PLANTED SUNFLOWERS TOGETHER

and jim is like he’s only evenly tanned because when he passed out in the garden i rolled him over so his back would get tan too

and yeah they’re like??????????? he looks so good????

and miami lowkey thinks hes helping but he is NOTbecause every time he sees him he’s like okay we can get you think much from your combined fortunes and the beach house and i can make it so you have custody of your legal kidsroger: they’re ALL MY KIDS MIAMI

but rogers mainly like i’m not gonna separate any of the kids that’s????? no. like. they belong as a family

even if i’m not……. part of that family….. any more…….

roger is like look i just want to be able to see them. i won’t take them form their parents and miami is like roger..you’re their parent too

and roger is like no i’m just like, their uncle now?

like i’m not in that family they made i clear that i am not allowed

A N Y W A Y S

ronnie is the one who sorta caves first

she’s lke look we started this and i kinda pushed for us to end it so i’m gonna fix it

john wont bc of the band dynamics, dom is top aware that it could splinter the group back into two couples, ronnie is really the only one who can

yeah and ronnie sorta. just shows up at his house in the middle of the night

and like (luckily for him) he’s just got in from a thing for the cross

so he Doesn’t look fucking awful

but he’s also fucking exhausted so he opens the door and is like FUCK are the kids okay!!! shit!!!! dom??? john???

and ronnie’s like everyone’s fine i just. i missed you?

and roger’s like. he’s so tired he’s just like ronnie….. i can’t do this right now. you can’t. you can’t just show up here

that’s not fair.

and ronnie’s like…. well. she wasn’t sure how she was really expecting it to go because. yeah. they’re literally not been within about 50m from one another in fucking months

but she was. hoping at least for an “i miss you too”

but roger’s like. it’s really late, i’m… gonna go to bed. i really, really cannot do this right now. i’ll see the kids on friday.

and so ronnie goes home and bawls her eyes out to john and dom who are…. also kinda shook?

like. they were NOT expecting roger to turn her away like that, that’s… yeah. but like roger has been mostly by himself this whole time. like they’ve had one another but he’s. just been sorta trying to learn to keep his head above water by himself again and. it was actually a dick move showing up there unannounced. like, they basically left him with little to no warning they can’t just try and walk back in the door y’know?????

and anyway on friday miami comes to pick up the kids and ronnie is like uhhh i’m coming with

and miami is like uh. disrespectfully speaking? you fucking are not

and she’s like oh :) ur not taking my kids then

which. is just. another bad move? tbh

miami is like. right. fine. can i use ur phone to call the other father of ur children to tell him that one of their mothers won’t let him see them

and ronnie is like go right a fuckin head

and dom and john are sorta there like ronnie ronnie wtf are u doing ronnie

but ronnie’s like nah i’m calling his (miami’s) bluff

and dom is like no, uh, roger can have the kids

but. miami calls

and ronnie is like not mine he can’t its all or nothing

he’s stood there in their parlour

and like obviously they can only hear his side of the conversation

dead eyeing ronnie like i fucking hold this band together out of sheer will

i can outlast you no matter what

Miami: Hi Rog, Miami. Yeah, yeah, the kids are fine. I’m at your old place right now, actually. No, yeah. No. Well, actually, Rog. Veronica says you can’t have the kids this week. No, she didn’t say anything to me about it before. No, no. I’m sorry, Rog. I know, I’m so sorry. She hasn’t said anything about next week yet. Yeah. Yeah. It’s alright, it’ll be alright. We’ll work something out. I’ll come right around, okay? Alright. Okay. I’ll let them know. Yeah, I promise. Just like you said. Won’t change a word. See you in a bit.

and ronnie is like what did he want you to say to us?!!!!

and miami just straight up blanks her and dom and john

and walks into the living room where the kids are, all ready to go

and is like hey rugrats!

(which is totes rogers nickname for them)

and they’re all like!!!! uncle miami!!!!! are we going to see papa now???

Veronica is like ho don’t you fucking say it

and he’s like i’m really sorry guys (and ronnie goes to interrupt but he stops her) but daddy has the flu

and the kids are like!!!! oh no!!!!

and he’s like so you can’t go see him this week :( he’s really really upset about it, and he HOPES he’ll be better next week because he misses all his little nuggets so much

and the eldest is like???? but!!!! our hugs keep daddy warm!!! if he’s sick he needs to be warm he can’t be cold!!! who’s going to recharge his cuddles???

and miami is like well he said if you all hug each other reaaaaally right he can feel it! so long as you all keep giving each other lots of hugs he’ll keep tight and cosy

and he goes to leave and is like to the three of them like…. i cannot believe that you are actually doing this. i didn’t know you could be so cruel

and off he trots

and ronnie is like. fuck

fuck

FUCK

and the other three would be like ronnie what…what the fuck was that???

they end up having…. a huge fight over it

like giant

like “hi chrissie can you take the kids for a couple of days” fight

and chrissie is like uh…. i can take a few? but crystal is. away

work emergency

and johns like????? queens on a break????????????

and dom’s like???? ROGER, JOHN. ROGER IS THE EMERGENCY

so they’re like trying to find babysitters so they can fight it out but also maybe go to roger???

because the work emergency is code for roger is trying to destroy himself via alcohol poisoning

like miami knows the second he hung up that roger as going to just drown himself in whisky

so he used a payphone to call freddie and crystal

and is like i don’t care what you have to do or how you do it but you need to be at roger’s yesterday

but brian isn’t looking after their fucking kids

freddie isn’t home

and jim has heard what they did

and hes like that was fucking cruel

crystal isn’t home

miami is gone

fucking RATTY doesn’t pick up

phoebe straight up was like freddie told me if i watched hte kids he’d kill me

he was like i am not even allowed to be speaking with you thank you and goodnight

so they call mary and they’re like please mary

and mary is like as far as i’m concerned if you’re that worried about roger watching his own fucking children i do not know why you would call me as the better option

like fuck you you think roger can’t be with his kids and now you want to DUMP THEM ON ME??? “and anyway, i’m just stopping at home for the booze i have here. we’ve all been banned from the liquor stores with in a ten mile radius of…… a place.”

eventually they manage to scrounge enough family members on john and ronnie’s respective sides

but it. genuinely takes like over a day

everyone is either straight up just not answering or, if they are at home, not willing to step in

[meanwhile miami is on the fucking warpath he is like you wanna play chicken? i’ll roast you for dinner VERONICA he’s writing up a custody agreement so tight it will tie them up in court for years like he sits down at roger’s kitchen table while roger is profusely vomiting up all the alcohol he had and then some and he’s like they’re gonna fucking pay

he’s getting the kids and the houses and over half the money and the royalties and here is a list of available bass players because HE GETS THE BAND TOO]

but yeah john ronnie and dom end up having a giant, fuck off, end all fight

and dom is like. u realise we just took his fucking kids away right

and johns like for fuck sake chrissie is FINE do you really think she wanted me to tank my career and for all of us to blow up our entire family because of her????

but the problem is. it’s BIGGER than the chrissie thing now

johns like she knew what she was getting into and she knew he was a cheater when they were fuckign dating

but really it was like, six different fights that all boiled over in the name of Chrissie’s Honor and then

the biggest thing is that like,

when they were in bali

they did fully think roger would come

and but then he didnt and the spent 3 weeks getting angrier and angrier at the situation and him and brian and it spiraled into this black ugly mess of shit

and they didn’t realize how vital roger was to keeping them together like he’s the fun dad so the kids have been acting out more becasue he’s not there to get them to blow off steam

(plus like, the kids just lost their dad??? like he doesn’t live there anymore he’s at a different house and that is big)

and he’s the peace keeper (surprising despite his tempter but everyone else like stews he’s the only one who’s like lets talk it out)

and he makes them all coffee in the morning so they’re all vaguely caffeine deprived

and now ronnie has fucked it all TWICE first by showing up and then by TAKING HIS KIDS and dom was like when we had baby#2 and it was clearly rogers we promised him we SWORE that he would never ever ever take them away from him

like we said that as long as he was their papa that was IT he was their father and we would never ever take that from him

and ronnie’s like i didn’t MEAN IT he should KNOW I WOULD NEVER MEAN THAT

and johns like. ok. but uh. how would he know

i mean. we sorta

did take his kids away from him

when we went to bali

when we went to bali for a month

and again

and then

now

five days of the week

and now?

i mean

we have been… slowly taking the kids away from him

three weeks ago we made him give them back a day early so that we could do to the beach

bc we could only do it…. as a family…. on the weekend

and then two of the little ones (one of which is his) was sick and we kept them home

because. him seeing his kids is inconvenient to us

and we had them on the actual day of his birthday

which you know is his favorite day of the year because the kids make him breakfast in bed and wake him up singing happy birthday

so. us just pulling the plug isn’t… really all that unrealistic is it?

and dom and ronnie sort of get defensive and backing each other up

dom is like no!! we have NOT!!

and ronnie like how dare you

and johns like. ok. but see this is the problem

this was the problem in bali too

like its us vs. him

we all get caught up in defending ourselves

when he’s NOT HERE TO DEFEND HIMSELF

that everything we do seems right

and he should… just be grateful?

to have us?

to see the kids?

and that we have proven that if he doesn’t agree with us he doesn’t haveus?

like originally it was just sex yeah

but then it was clear that you wouldnt budge

and neither would he and why should he have brian has been there for him longer than he’s even known me

like brian is terrible for cheating but he’s roger’s brother and we literally made him choose his family and when he wouldn’t

we chose for him

and, as we’ve established, chrissie is FINE

and a grown woman

and roger knew that better than any of us because crystal was filling him in on EVERYTHING

she probably didn’t fucking need the two of you, and then me, ripping apart our family, the band, and the various social circles we run in

or even WANT us to do that

and dom’s like……. i really miss him

i’ve been trying really hard not to

bc it’s easier to be angry

and i didn’t want it to seem like i love him more than you guys

because i know it can be hard sometimes like not falling into those couple-y behaviours

and i didn’t want to do that

but i really really miss him

but like, roger is my first

he is my first real love and i love you both so much but he’s my roger

and. it’s been really hard watching [youngest] hit milestones and rogers not here to see them

(and they tried to be nice and send videos and pictures but its not the same!!

so they just stopped telling him hoping that the kid would do it there and roger would think it was the first time

but that just made roger feel like they didn’t care enough about him

to be like oh hey your kid’s walking sucks that you had to learn form the older kid insead of the other parents)

and dom’s like. and it’s made worse because. he wouldn’t have let this happen if it was one of us

and john is like. uh

and ronnie’s like fuck. no. ur right. he wouldn’t have

dom’s like. right back at the beginning he was always saying that he’d make sure we were all involved in the kids lives no matter what that this wouldn’t happen he wouldn’t let it

and we did it to him

and ronnie is like. how the fuck do we fix this

bc shit like that. like their youngest hitting milestones???? like that feels like something they stole from him bc they can’t give that back

for like the first time john actually cries

and is like what have we done

and yeah. the fight just sorta ends with all three of them in tears and just. sort of silent

because maybe that was the biggest issue

because. what the fuck

because chrissie was pregnant and maybe dom was pregnant and they were like imagine this was us

and we got cheated on

and so when the whole Bali Thing happens the kid is like maybe 6 months?

so roger genuinely misses over half of this kids life

and kidlet just. doesn’t have the same bond with him???

because there’s so little you can be there for when you get every weekend

and roger knows

but the other three don’t because they haven’t seen him with the kids?

but the kid just cries the whole weekend and wants his “daddy”

kidlet isn’t really comfy around roger and neither, really, is their second youngest who is withdrawing

and roger is just like???? these are my KIDS

and the second youngest is roger’s

and i’m a STRANGER to them

and he tries so hard! but the other problem is like, we have so many kids

and i am one person

like he is stretched so thin

so he can only do so much like if hte baby is crying he has to take care of the baby sorry oldest ones i can’t go play outside with you

and the three of them just realize, like, what have we done???

cut to roger’s house he’s just lying on the floor not even crying just laying there his bedroom is ruined because he hung up with miami and just trashed it

and is laying on his floor like i want to die here

john calls while the Roger Stomach Pumping Emergency Squad are on day three of their duties

and crystal picks up which is. it’s not the BEST he could have hoped for, which would have been freddie, but it’s the second best bc crystal still nominally works for him

(crystal is like i’m gonna fucking quit like i will take the cross to the NEXT LEVEL even if i have to KILL JOHN TO DO IT)

and johns like ok this is. i’m just calling to say that i’m going to come around tomorrow? i’ll be there are 12. i’m not asking for permission, but i’m just calling to give you a heads up. to give roger a heads up

and so. they uh. sober roger up. do their best to make him somewhat presentable? (does not work. he refuses to shave or shower or get changed out of his Depression Pajamas. he swills some mouthwash, they call it a win)

(depression pajamas are john’s pants and the joke shirt ronnie and dom bought him for his birthday years ago thats like save a drum bang a drummer)

and then. they go upstairs, just leaving miami downstairs except he’s Not Allowed To Talk

he is there, strictly, as roger’s legal representation

miami just holds all the papers for legal divorce and separation the papers that are going to FUCK THEM UP if roger says so

and john shows up and he’s like. oh. um. this isn’t. this isn’t really a legal talk?????? and miami is like yes well y’all do have a history of Technical Kidnapping so

can’t be too careful 🙃

and roger just. doesn’t give a shit

he’s like miami can you shut the fuck up

like what the fuck do you think johns going to do that’s worse than break up with me and refuse to let me see my kids?

what, have you all gangbanged my mum too? just for a giggle?

and john is like. uh. no. winnie is. un-gangbanged. as far as i know.

and rog is like well there you go, everything appears to be Just As Shit as it was yesterday and no worse

and johns like look. i just. ronnie honestly didn’t mean that you couldn’t see the kids, not at all. she just. she just wanted to see you and the kids were… leverage? sort of? which sounds awful

and roger is like. yeah. that sounds pretty fucking awful, actually

and he’s like where’s my alcohol and miami is like as your legal representative and your medical emergency contact i must advise you not to drink anymore as i do not believe your liver will survive

(miami [visibly jots down john calling the children leverage])

but yeah rogers like. well. here i fucking am.

and johns like. this is all. it’s all fucked up. we love you? we never stopped loving you? this has all spiralled way out of control. the girls were just mad about chrissie and

and roger is like?? do u think i give a FUCK about chrissie???? none of this was EVER about chrissie on my side. this was about the three of you deciding that our relationship with acceptable fucking collateral for you to throw about to win arguments and get me to do what you wanted

[miami in the corner scribbling it all down]

that’s now how relationships fucking work, john. and i never thought you’d take my children away from me for it.

and johns like. i know. i’m sorry, we’re sorry. it honestly just grew out of control. when we were in bali we thought you would come and then it would have been fine, but you didn’t and we got angry and

and rogers like?!! i didn’t do what u wanted so you ran away with my children for a month

i couldn’t have come even if i WANTED to

“gone to bali” is not a fucking address, john

(and the thing is when they wrote that? it was tongue in cheek. it was a “come find us”. but, well. that didn’t work out as intended, did it?)

like they thought of course roger would like, call miami to find them or hell ratty or something like they all have the same credit cards they could figure it out…right?

and johns like. i’m sorry. can you. would you be…. interested? in talking to all three of us? we love you, and we miss you. we want to try and save this

and roger is like i dont know

i don’t know if it can be saved

and well. that’s enough to get a foot in the door because. his kids. roger would grin and bear his way thru 16 and a half years of painful awkwardness on his part of it means he gets to be with his kids as they grow

but he’s not saying yes

he’s saying he’ll talk to all three of them together

but miami will be there

and miami is like 💅

and so they set a date for the next monday

and this time roger is wearing like. a fucking suit, he’s all scrubbed up

and they’re like???????? what the fuck

(john totally went home and told the other three how terrible he looked)

but this time like. it’s…. it’s make or fucking break like if they walk out of this and he can’t see it being salvaged then… that’s it

he’ll be giving them the (kindest) separation and custody agreement’s that miami has drawn up

miami has like three all drawn up and ready depending on how it goes

one is niceish one is harsher and the last is scourged earth

nice: they get half his assets, he gets friday evening-sunday afternoon and ¾ of all school holidays

harsh: ¼ assets (minus property and future royalty income from existing tracks), friday afternoon school pick up- sunday evening, and all school holidays apart from three days beginning and end, weekends, and potentially visitation right son Public Holidays (such as christmas day)

scourged earth: ½ present cash assets (nothing else), friday afternoon pick up - Tuesday morning drop off, all school holidays minus weekends (excepting public holidays. so if xmas day falls on a sunday? too fucking bad)

miami is like i will wipe the board with you if he asks and i will not hesitate

and he WILL be going to court to attempt to win rights to have ALL of the children involved in those custody agreements (miami thinks they have a case given how many interviews they’ve given over the years referencing how the children view each other as brother and sister)

plus there’s like squatter’s/commonlaw rights

yeah basically miami is. uh ready to destroy

like roger is the common law parent because he has lived with these kids in that house for 7 years

roger’s one request was just can i have enough to buy a house big enough for all the kids to come visit and can i just see them? like even if its once a month i just want to see them

miami is like i gotchu fam you’re my favorite tell the others

BUT YES SO roger is like i’m really just here to see if there’s anything to salvage.

and like

dom immediately bursts into tears

she hasnt seen him in person since he LEFT

and because??? how could there not be??????????

dom is willing to give ANYTHING to fix it

and ronnie is like. horrified. she keeps going to reach across the table to hold his hand before catching herself

and she starts. she apologised for what happened the other day, for crossing that line

and rogers like… it’s been coming for a while now

because he always knew one day the kids would stop coming

like either they wouldn’t let him see them

or the kids wouldn’t want to come see the guy who was once their dad but now just has his own home

like the two youngest already don’t want him

so it makes sense

yeah.

and dom’s like… do you still love us?

because i still love you

and rogers like. i. i could never stop loving any of you???? but i also cant ever forget the past year and the things that have happened either

That’s what makes it hurt the most is like I still love you?? I will always love you you’re the mothers of my children and John you’re their father like you’re raising my kids

and johns like well. love is a start, yes?

and roger’s like. yes. but i love my kids more, and. i spent the last year hoping we were just… going to work it out. that this was going to stop, but it hasn’t. it’s got worse. and i suppose it’s a good thing that you did what you did last week because instead of the kids being slowly taken away from me and me having to accept it over time, it happened all at once and i can’t take that. i Won’t take that again. and so now i know that if this isn’t going to work out that i am Going to have a relationship with my kids, if i have to fight you all in the courts for it

and ronnie’s like we’re not? we’re not going to fight you

and miami that sneaky bastard pulls out the SCORCHED EARTH custody agreement and is like so you’ll sign this?

and dom’s like what the fuck is it?????? and he’s like custody agreement. in the event of your separation from roger, dominique, and/or his departure from the home you share with john and veronica he would be entitled, by contract, to have the children (ALL OF THEM, those children being those who were born between 1974 and 1983) from friday school pick up to tuesday morning school drop off, and the entirety of school holidays apart from weekends.

and johns like fuck. that’s. a lot of time

and roger is like? i haven’t had all of the children together in over a month

and ronnie is like fuck. you haven’t, have you? there’s been….

and miami picks up another piece of paper and starts listing off reasons

Because he’s been picking them up and dropping them off and every single time one of them isn’t there he writes it down

dentist appointment, flu, stomach bug, school trip, trip to the beach “as a family”

They watch a roger visibly flinches at the “as a family” comment

and dom just signs it. plucks it right out of johns hand who is trying to read it (or the first page) and flips to her page and signs

and johns like fuck!! dom!!!

and she’s like. roger wouldn’t ask us to sign anything that would be detrimental to the kids OR to us

we used to fucking know that, john

She’s like Roger is their father first and foremost and he has the right to as much time as he wants from them. If they miss us I will PERSONALLY but them their own phone line to call us but he gets as much time as he wants with them

and like. john and ronnie aren’t going to sign, not without their lawyer there to check it out, but. that sign from dom? is enough to get roger to agree to try

to agree that maybe there’s something to salvage there

Even if it’s just with dom

Because she was like I have faith in this man and I do not plan on ever losing him again so I’ll sign anything because it’ll never come down to it

Yeah because. well. he can live with that if it means he gets his kids

he can live with knowing that he’s not wholly Wanted in this relationship

if he’s… wanted a little bit and he gets to watch his kids grow up every day

it’s 16 and a half years

that’s doable

He will do what he needs to for his kids

he loves those rugrats so fucking much

he stays at home SO MUCH for the next like. year. bc he is BUILDING that relationship with the youngest two

Like the rest of the break? Is because roger will not leave the house

He is like nope not working I’m with the nuggets

And Freddie is like bring them to the studio just come

Like it’s just him with the kiddos

Writing and trying to get his babies to love him again

And he’s like I’m never leaving you ever again

That first tour? Is ROUGH

like it is hard for roger to leave and he almost is like I can’t do it I can’t leave them what if they forget me again??

Which just adds to the angst because they did that to him

they made him doubt that his kids really love him

so then like, fast forward six-eight months???

oh my god even when they get back together? and get comfy with one another to start having sex again (which takes A WHILE) roger is suddenly. really adamant about using condoms

ugh he’d be sneaky about the condom thing at first too. like. he distracts them? clever fingers, clever mouth, encouraging them to help each otherlike it takes. a Distressing amount of time before finally dom is like I Want You To Fuck Meand that’s when That Whole Thing goes down

she’s like c'mon like how we used to

and roger is like uhhhhh i can’t do that

because you might get uh, pregnant

and the other three can’t think of anything better like yes this will reunite us

an roger can’t think of anything worse because the thought of losing another baby?? he wouldn’t, uh, he wouldn’t survive that

and they’re like????? look if u slept with someone else like. ok that…. hurts. but. get tested and if ur clean it’s fine

and rogers like. no

that’s not the problem

dom has straight up a breakdown about it when she realises what the issue is

because roger is GOOD with kids

roger LOVES babies

but he’s like i do not want to have babies with you because i cannot guarantee that you won’t take the baby from me again

and roger is just sitting here uncomfortable

while dom weeps and john and ronnie are like what the uck is going on

but. he’s not. he’s not comfortable? this doesn’t feel like a family he’s

building for keeps anymore

not really

it feels like something that can, might, will be taken away

he’s like look we can call it what we want but i get it i’m here for sex

and that’s great!! i love sex!! but i’m not going ot risk it

and the baby starts crying and roger sorta. automatically goes to get up before being like. oh. uh. it’s probably better if one of you goes. she. she’s not comfortable around me, she won’t settle if i go in

its not fair to the kids (because that’s who he’s really messed up over)

like they were so upset and it’s not fair to have them have to like, be separated form their homes and from their parents

roger is just so natural around the kids?

like u honestly wouldn’t even notice that he’d been gone

he slips right back in

he’s a bit distant for a few days, learning the new routines, new schedules, new favourites, new dislikes

but once he’s got it? he’s back in there

but just. flinching away from the casual touches that pass between the four of them

so later dom fucks john and forgets a condom and has a pregnancy scare

and roger is like. weirdly……. fine

and dom is like??????? what the hell ur ok with this??? if i am pregnant?

and roger is like…… i haven’t decided yet

and dom’s like wtf do u mean? and he’s like. it would be a dick move of me to just leave ig. so perhaps we could separate but i’d stay living here in a separate room from the three of you?

and ronnie is like? those are the only two options for you

we’ve been back together for like eight months

and rogers like? and we were separated for over a year

i’m still not sure if this is real

AND THEN

freddie calls john one night like. a month or so after the condom revelation (which they’ve all been. sorta sadly going along with? like it ruins the mood a little bit each time bc it’s a reminder that something’s a little bit broken here), and is like. look. i. i really shouldn’t be telling you this? but i think he’ll end up regretting it because i. god knows WHY but i have faith that you guys are all gonna pull thru this. but rog’s munich trip next week for the cross? yeah he’s booked in for a vasectomy.like he wouldn’t say anything because he doesn’t want them to make it a Big Deal

and they’re SO UPSET but they’re like we can’t tell him not to because…if he wants to, he wants to

So when he comes back from munich

they think he had a vasectomy

John is like how does one check for that?? Does his penis look different???

Does his sperm taste different?? How would we know???

but one night he just goes to ronnie Just bends her right over and is like let’s do this and it’s the hottest sex they’ve had

like they have INSANELY HOT SEX and they’re all. laying there. happy and sated. rog is curled up in the middle super asleep and the three of them are just all wide awake staring at the ceiling like huh. what feels weird

and then they realize and they’re like he didn’t use a condom so that means…..

and then they just PANIC

Like ROGER

ROGER YOUR CONDOM

and he’s like oh my godddd shut up i’ve gotta be up for swimming lessons in like. five hours oh my god

and ronnie is like maybe he did maybe he didn’t but like YES YOUR SWIMMERS ARE THE ISSUE RIGHT NOW

THEY MIGHT BE SWIMMING

IN ME

ROGER

and roger is like is…that a problem???

and like they’re panicked bc!!!! he REALLY didn’t want any more kids!!!! they don’t wanna fuck with that they’re finally in a good place again!!!!!

and roger is like, sorry, guess i should have talked to you guys about having another kid???

but ye he’s. secure again. and their youngest is like. older now. he misses babies. and also miami still got all the old paperwork

and they’re like wait….so you didn’t get the vasectomy???

and roger is like lol no

so like, oops, ronnie, you uh, might be uh…pregnant

and they all just sort of fall on top of him because while they’re still not perfect

it’s a start

they have like, five more kids afterwards

also

veronica, the trooper, still having fucking babies into the mid 90s

god bless her

Veronica’s uterus is the real MVP

#hit me up if you want the other 85 pages lol #john/veronica/roger/dominique #John Deacon #roger taylor #dominique beyrand #veronica tetzlaff #caro writes #hot space angst #answered asks

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