#GRRR THEY’RE THE CUTEST EVER

[coconut530]

Wow they really didn’t hold back huh

[tickly-trashcan]

Hashira Headcanons

ahhh I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now!! finally getting around to it hehe so I hope everyone enjoys these! I had a lot of fun with them~ They’re also pretty long so they’re under the cut! I’m still working through headcanon requests I’ve just been really into demon slayer lately and wanted to get something quick out~

Giyuu Tomioka

he’s surprisingly ticklish?? like not screaming at a poke ticklish but more ticklish than one would expect

He’s also good at hiding it so not many people find out

That is, not many people knew until Shinobu found out and decided to point it out in front of all the other Hashira

When he was still training, he got tickled by Urokodaki a lot when he was training, and then by Sabito and Makomo when they were resting

He would always tickle Makomo and Sabito back (even though he ended up losing the eventual tickle fight anyway) but now he doesn’t really tickle people

He’s seen a lot and doesn’t laugh much, let alone smile

That said, some of the other Hashira tickle him sometimes, though it’s mostly Shinobu and Uzui, occassionally a poke from Mitsuri

It’s normally not enough to get him laughing, just enough to embarrass him though

Shinobu has gotten him to chuckle once and she’s never let him live it down

His most ticklish spots are probably his knees, sides, and his ribs

He almost never tickles other people, like he’s tickled Tanjiro once and it was very brief and accidental

I think he needs to laugh more though so like,,, get him Shinobu >:)

Shinobu Kochou

She’s really ticklish omfg 

She also has the prettiest laugh? it’s so elegant waaaa

Her tickle spots are her tummy, sides and waist!

Not many people know she’s ticklish, aside from Mitsuri and a few people at the Butterfly Estate

When Kanao found out she was ticklish she flipped her coin and it was tails, so she decided to tickle Shinobu a little bit and she just let it happen because she knew that Kanao didn’t have any ill intent with it

Giyuu tickled her once because she was tickling him and she wasn’t expecting it and squeaked it was pretty funny

She has the MEANEST teases omggg

“Surely this doesn’t tickle, hmm? It does? Oh my... but you’re a demon slayer right? What if a tickle demon came after you~?”

She’s just,,, ruthless man

She also love love lovesss those gentle tickles when she’s dishing out on people

She can find peoples bad spots easily and just go after them with her NAILS

She and Mitsuri get into tickle fights on occassion, but Shinobu normally wins because she can fluster Mitsuri easily and combined with the gentle nail tickles, Mitsuri’s a goner

She has lost sometimes though because Mitsuri’s really damn strong and when she gets on Shinobu’s sides her chances of winning go down dramatically

Kyojuro Rengoku

Rengoku, my beloved

He’s really not that ticklish, like he can get laughing or chuckling but it’s not easy

He only has a few spots, and I feel like one of them would definitely be his underarms

Like some of the other Hashira like Mitsuri or Shinobu have come up behind him and tried to tickle him and he’s like “Oh? A tickle fight? Cool!” and just pounces on them lmao

He’s definitely more of a ler than a lee, and he’s a really nice ler!

He compliments his lee, teasing on rare occassion and is just overall really fun and gentle too

Sometimes he can get a little rough but he always knows when to tone it back a little

He’s tickled the trio a little bit, especially Tanjiro who’s basically like his apprentice since he uses a similar breathing technique

He also tickles the other Hashira sometimes, mostly accidentally but other times just because he wants to

When he tickles people it’s mostly Mitsuri (which he gets glares from Obanai because of) and Shinobu, Obanai on occassion because of said glaring and just generally wanting to hear him laugh

He’s super playful in general but he’ll stop when asked to because he respects peoples limits

Tengen Uzui

Okay another one that’s not very ticklish unless you get really specific spots lol

He’s ruthless as a ler, and he’s seldom the lee so he doesn’t understand peoples limits and stuff

He has the LOUDEST laugh once you get him going though, part of it is just him being overdramatic though

His tickle spots are his hips and his ears, two spots that are harder to get oof

Similar to Rengoku he’s pretty playful, but most of that is because he’s just generally flamboyant

He doesn’t tickle people too often, but he has definitely put a target on people like Giyuu and Sanemi lol rip them

He’ll tickle people until they’re hiccuping or in silent hysterics, he’s one of the people that doesn’t really register the word “stop”

That said he’s nicer with people he likes, such as Mitsuri or Rengoku because of their upbeat nature

He likes people he deems flamboyant enough, and since those two meet the requirements he’s nicer to them when it comes to tickling

Muichiro Tokito

SWEET BABY BOY

okay so he’s actually really ticklish?? it’s so cute pls

He deserves gentle, sweet, and loving tickles, not the evil rough ones from Uzui lmao

Lighter tickles get him better than rough tickles anyway and he prefers when people are more gentle with him because he’s not a huge fan of being touched unless he really trusts the person

He’s ticklish pretty much everywhere, but some of his worse spots are his ribs, underarms and his neck

Teases don’t work on him, he’s completely oblivious to them lmao

He has the sweetest little giggle awww the other Hashira love to tickle him every so often just because he’s so cute and his face gets a little red too

He doesn’t really like being tickled unless it’s his friends or the other Hashira because he has respect for people closer to him

Mitsuri and Rengoku tickle him the most often, sometimes even together just to make him at least smile

He doesn’t tickle people very often because he knows if he initiates it with any of the other Hashira he’ll end up getting wrecked lol

He’s tried it before with Rengoku, never again

Mitsuri Kanroji

MITSURI KANROJI MY BELOVED

Super ticklish, absolute baby, deserves it just for being so cute

Her tickle spots are her tummy, hips, and her ribs!

She’s generally very ticklish and just loves tickling, both dishing it and taking

She likes to tickle Obanai and Muichiro especially, but she’s tickled pretty much every pillar or at least tried to

She has the CUTEST laugh it’s like,, a bit squeaky and snorty but in the most endearing and adorable way? idk maybe i’m biased because I love her but she’s definitely got a cute laugh

She’s really teasy and she doesn’t even mean to be, she just loves to laugh along with her lee and watch their face go red

She’s very squirmy and giggly when people tickle her and she’s the type to start laughing when people just wiggle their fingers at her

her favorite person to tickle is probably Obanai because she just thinks his reactions are really cute and she loves his laugh, but Muichiro and Shinobu are also people she likes to tickle hehe

If she has access and is close enough with the person she’s definitely the type to give people raspberries

Obanai Iguro

grrr this is gonna be so biased i love him too much

He’s very ticklish but he’s really good at controlling his reactions as long as he’s not caught off-guard 

His most ticklish spots are his hips, thighs, and his knees ouuGH

He has a really raspy laugh if anyone manages to get him to that point, for the most part he just gasps and chuckles occasionally

He’s not tickled very often and not even all the Hashira know he’s ticklish, only Mitsuri, Rengoku, and Gyomei really know that he’s ticklish and even then only Mitsuri and Rengoku actively tickle him when they’re not around the other Hashira

He’s really embarrassed with how ticklish he is so he doesn’t like people knowing, and the three that know respect that and don’t tell others

He doesn’t like being tickled either but he doesn’t seem to mind when Mitsuri does it but you definitely didn’t hear that from me hehe

Kaburamaru doesn’t mean to but sometimes he will like slither on Obanai’s neck and DAMN that tickles more than it should but he’s gotten a little bit more used to it as time has gone on

that said he still jumps a little bit if Kaburamaru does it really suddenly or quickly, or flicks his tongue near his ear or neck

Gyomei Himejima

He’s not very ticklish and doesn’t tickle people very often, so he’s left out most of the time when it comes to tickle stuff :(

There was one rare occassion, it was probably because Muichiro had been tired from a mission but Gyomei picked him up to help him to bed and accidentally tickled the poor boy 

Of course, that led to a few gentle tickles as well, not enough to make him hysterical but just enough to make him giggle a little bit before falling asleep

Gyomei’s probably ticklish on his feet and his knees, spots that others normally don’t tickle and he probably doesn’t even know he’s ticklish

Mitsuri and Rengoku, even Uzui have tried tickling him before but they don’t get much of a reaction so they’ve kinda given up on tickling him

Of course they invite him to help tickle someone else, like if they’re ganging up on Giyuu or Sanemi, and every now and then he’ll join in

He’s very gentle, he’s almost over concious of whether or not he’s hurting someone so his touches are very soft and people hardly ever feel them sometimes

Sanemi Shinazugawa

Not ticklish. at all

Even after he’s been tickled to tears by multiple people, he’ll never admit it

He hates it, he’s never liked it and definitely doesn’t like it now

He never initiates it and doesn’t tickle other people very often, but he’s like a toddler when he gets tickled he just turns into putty

He kicks and flails and throws threats out left and right, but he never acts on them because he’s too tired afterwards from kicking and screaming and laughing to actually enact any of his threats

His spots are under his arms and his ribs, specifically his upper ribs

He falls into hysterics pretty quickly just because he’s a drama queen but we still love him lol

He’s a bit,,, vengeful, but he doesn’t like to tickle other people that much

That said, the demon slayer code says that you can’t attack another demon slayer so he kinda has to tickle to get back

He’s a really hard tickler, he’s not good at it and it kinda hurts sometimes and he’s picky and choosy with who he actually gets revenge with

sometimes he’s really mean and gets revenge on someone who was walking by and is like “This is what you get for not helping me!” and its like what did they do?? literally nothing chill out Sanemi pls

He does target Giyuu sometimes though just because he’s an asshole lmao and he has like a vendetta against Giyuu for, again, literally no reason

That’s all I have for now, thanks for reading! 

pspsp if you wanna request any other demon slayer headcanons my requests for headcanons are open heheh~

[1tsnoya]

hi :3 could u do hc for tsuki, kags and semi with a wild sleeper s/o like they r a super deep sleeer but they move soo much and kick n stuff in their sleep >.<

✧･ﾟ𝐬/𝐨 𝐰𝐡𝐨’𝐬 𝐚 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐬𝐥𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐞𝐫✧･ﾟ𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬

💌 kei tsukishima x reader, tobio kageyama x reader, semi eita x reader

🌟 𝕥𝕒𝕘𝕝𝕚𝕤𝕥 : @spriteandnicotine @fatheadthemango @tokobaby @virgosetter @tobiokvgeyama @bokutoscake04 @introvertatitsfinest @mcuparkers @yokikuu

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

→ oh boy

→ ur talking to the LIGHTEST sleeper ever

→ for example: one time u got up to pee and u could have SWORN u were super quiet. like tip toeing, holding ur breath, and yk what? he still woke up

→ kei: y/n?

→ you, barely awake, just wanting to take a piss, “yes kei?”

→ kei: why are u awake?

→ yea he worries like that

→ anyways

→ let’s rewind and go back to ur first time sleeping over his house...

→ you two stayed up late watching scary and dorky movies together. it was about 2:30 in the morning when u started falling asleep in his lap

→ he poked at ur cheek, “oi. let’s just go sleep, kay?”

→ he had... no clue what he was in for

→ he was sleeping on his back, and u were resting on his chest. u were lightly snoring and he thought it was the cutest thing ever

→ um yea that thought quickly vanished when he started falling asleep, and u kicked him in his legs

→ he flinched awake like ?? what ??

→ he turned to u and u were sound asleep so he was very confused ?? did u mean to do that?? eh it was probably just an accident or a jump from ur dream

→ then u started tossing all over the place

→ and soon enough - u literally ROLLED on top of tsukki

→ kei: -_-

→ ALL he could think about was sleeping but he kept hearing the sheets crinkle from u moving and u were kicking him and just ... it was not was he expecting

→ and ofc u woke up like an angel <3

→ .... he did not

→ he made fun of u and teased u for sleeping like a gremlin >:(

→ so now - when u guys have sleepovers, he makes sure to hold u so u don’t move around all over the place and u just chill in his arms. win win for the both of u <333

☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

→ have u SEEN this boy sleep?

→ we’ve seen it ourselves, tobio practically GROWLS in his sleep

→ i conclude.

→ i KNOW he’s a deep sleeper. just look at him. there’s no way ur waking that boy up with a little ‘nudge’

→ you’ve probably already guessed it by now. 1 deep sleeper + another = a disaster

→ kageyama doesn’t kick around in his sleep though, only u do. once he falls asleep, he barley moves. waking up is the only issue

→ since he doesn’t wake up... u just... beat him up in ur sleep lol

→ one time u kicked him so hard, it left a FAT bruise on the side of his thigh/leg

→ at breakfast that morning, he was like “babe, idk what happened but look” and showed u it

→ knowing how much u had kicked around, u already had a feeling

→ you: oh😟wow😳i uh🤔i wonder what happened😀that’s 🤨kinda weird🧐

→ kags: yeah idk it is really weird

→ .......

→ SIGH

→ its very common for u guys to wake up in the weirdest positions

→ the common ones are

u rolled on top of him like a koala

... he’s rolled on top of u and u wake up not being able to move cause GODDAMN who knew this boy was so heavy-

ur leg is over his waist and straddling it

ur arms r spread like a starfish and right in his face

and OCCASIONALLY - u leave him absolute no room to sleep

→ the best part about it though?

→ he really doesn’t mind

→ sleeping in is common since u two are heavy sleepers. if u need to wake up for an event or something, u best bet ur setting 10+ alarms

→ but other than that - lazy days are the best

→ once one of u wakes up, u do ur best to wake the other one n start prepping breakfast

→ tobio starts poking u and stuff and will stare at observe u til ur awake

→ and he’s so blushy when u open ur eyes to just see him, half asleep, admiring u

☆ﾟ.*･｡

→ ur average sleeper

→ hes a little more on the lighter side though

→ and... he gets... so grouchy when u kick him in ur sleep

→ will he ever tell u?

→ no

→ u just know bc he’s all grumpy in the morning

→ one time u woke up to him with a SCOWL yes a scowl

→ u were like, “hm? what’s wrong?”

→ u had kneed him in his... special part... in the middle of the night

→ listen, cuddling with u is semi’s FAVORITE. when the two of u are finally at home, it’s what he looks forward to

→ so he was just holding u, about to fall asleep, and then it happened

→ and he was in ✨PAIN✨

→ homeboy had to go sleep on the couch after that😭😭he COULD NOT

→ there’s been times where he just lies on his back, facing the ceiling, and he just listens to u toss and turn for the hundredth time

→ he likes when u snore though, thinks it’s either the cutest or funniest thing ever

→ and when u start mumbling in ur sleep LMFF

→ he’ll smile to himself and if ur still mumbling or lightly snoring in the morning, MF will not HEISTATE to take pictures or record a video to send to u later‼️‼️

→ “semisemi🖤😠 would like to airdrop (4) photos and (1) video” and they’re all of U!! SLEEPING

→ yes he has an entire photo album of u

→ yes he also picks on u about the way u sleep>:( grrr

→ he’s adjusted though

→ but if it ever becomes TOO much or u kick him in his nutsack again .... he will not hesitate to go back to that couch

[hinatas-sunshine]

“Fruits & Naps”

Bakugo, Kirishima & Izuku

Request: Hello! I was wondering if you could do headcannons for Bakugo, Kirishima and Midoriya with a a/o who loves sleep and eating fruit a lot @lazyfiresuitcasehero

a/n: I haven’t written a lot lately, much less My Hero but I hope you enjoy! Thank you for the request!

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: None

Bakugo:

• He loves your crazy nature, you’re really the only one who has him in check honestly

• But when you first started dating, he was always worried about you

“She’s not answering her phone!”

“Maybe she’s busy?”

“Shut up stupid hair! She would still answer!”

• You were just asleep the whole time ❤️

“Who sleeps for 5 hours?! That’s not a nap!”

“I do. Have a problem with it.”

• As you looked at your boyfriend intensely he shivered and shook his head no

• Kirishima and Denki are definitely cackling in the background as Bakugo apologizes for raising his voice at you-

• So now Bakugo knows when you’re asleep, but still gets a little worried.

• He always checks in on you and brings you a plate of fruit for you to snack on

• As you tiredly munch of the apples he brought you, eyes half closed he smiles placing a kiss on your temple

“You’re so lazy.”

• You laughed leaning your head on his shoulder while he reached for a piece of fruit

“WOOF WOOF WOOF BARK BARK GRRR!”

• Bakugo automatically stood up taking his hand away from your bowl

“What the hell?!”

“Go make your own bowl!”

“I, as in ME, made that!”

“For who Bakugo?! For who?!”

“Y-you...”

• You giggled and fed him a piece of fruit and placed a kiss on his nose to which he huffed and looked away

• He knew you were a little weird but he admits that he loves you and how odd you tend to be

• He turned to you, to which you look up at him with a smile munching away at your fruit

“Yes?”

“I love you y/n.”

• You shyly looked away making him smile slightly but when you turned around he dropped it

“I love you too.”

• Now you two happily munched away at the fruit bowl together

“Hey! you two made a fruit bowl!?”

“Back off Dunce face!”

“I’ll chop your arm off Kaminari.”

• Denki walked out crying eye-

Kirishima:

• When you two started dating he noticed how everyday you would leave to your room without another word at the same time every day

• So, he followed you ✨

“Stalker.”

“It’s not a stalker if you do it noticeably everyday!”

• When he found out it was your nap time he cackled at you

“Only babies take naps!”

• But when you offered him to join he automatically stopped cackling and laid down next to you

• You two fell asleep you as the little spoon and him as the big spoon

• You woke up the opposite way

• Now Kirishima joins you during your naps ✨

• You two get up later only to go find a snack, and while you munch away on fruits he starts making sure to cut the fruit early on in the day so you don’t have to

“WHY IS THERE HEART SHAPED WATERMELON PIECES?!”

“MIND YOUR BUSINESS BAKUGO THOSE ARE MINE!”

• He lowkey thinks they’re cool but Kirishima gets shy about it

• His favorite is eating strawberries with you, he chops up some and thinks he’s such a chef when he adds whipped cream with them

“It tastes so good! I’m a genius.”

• Will 100% do the whipped cream on your hand and slap it while you just enjoy is

• has gotten whipped cream in your hair/forehead

“ILL EAT IT I PROMISE!”

“EAT IT-?”

Midoriya:

• Baby knows you take a nap everytime you get back from a long day

• He also takes you to the nearest store to buy you some fruit to munch on when you wake up

“I’ve never seen anyone eat so much fruit...”

“What’s that Izu?”

“NOTHING!”

• You raised an eyebrow at him but sighed and dropped the subject

• He loves seeing you after you nap, he things your messy hair, Puffy tired face, and lazy attitude are the cutest thing ever

• he watches as you place a grape in your mouth tiredly while resting your head on his chest only for you to fall back asleep after finishing your grape

“I love you, y/n.”

• You smiled softly in your sleep and his face bursted with red at how adorable you looked

• He loves how you look carrying a huge watermelon excitedly

“Do you want me to hold it for you love?”

“No! I want to hold it!”

• He nods as you continue to hug the huge fruit to your chest automatically dropping it on the counter to pick up a knife excitedly

• He puts away all other groceries while you cut up your watermelon

• He definitely opens his mouth for you to pop some watermelon in there and you better do it

• He takes your nap time seriously, he makes sure you are relaxed before your naps

“Here let’s do some face masks for you to relax”

“I ran a bath for you!”

“I made you some tea, momo said it’d help you relax.”

• Definitely the sweetest baby 🥺 I love him shfiwnfowkfwo

Tags:

[inkykeiji]

wait but hard dom bokuto goes grrr tho 💦

hard dom bokuto? hard dom bokuto who’s just ever so slightly sadistic? hard dom bokuto who still wants to hear YOU praising HIM as you take your punishment, as he spanks burning handprints into your ass and presses bruises into your hips and thighs? who wants to hear you tell him how thankful you are to have such a good dom, a dom who punishes you so well. hard dom bokuto who loves watching you struggle to take his stupidly thick cock, who revels in the tears leaking from your eyes as you stretch around him, who thinks your pathetic little whimpers and sniffles are just the cutest thing? hard dom bokuto who sets unrealistic rules and standards for you simply because he knows they’re impossible, who tells you to be good and not to cum until he gives you permission while repeatedly hitting ur spot and forcing u to cum just so he can punish you for it???? hard dom bokuto who’s the fucking best at aftercare, who worships your body and runs you hot bubble baths after he’s fucked your throat raw and marked up every inch of your skin, who can’t stop telling you how absolutely gorgeous you are especially when you cry?

or hard dom bokuto who gets bratty with akaashi, who fights him for dominance? who ends up winning simply because akaashi’s fatal flaw is that he can’t say no to bo? what bokuto wants, boktuo gets

[browniesnivy]

hiii brownie idk enough abt yugioh but *insert one of ur yugioh faves* and umm maybe franziska for that character ask game :]

Franziska Von Karma 

How I feel about this character- FRANZISKA LITERALLY SO AMAZING...I love how she’s introduced as just as terrifying and cruel as her father, but then you see that she really does care about helping other people throughout her determination to avenge Edgeworth and to help Phoenix save Maya in Farewell My Turnabout despite taking a bullet to the shoulder (such a good parallel with her father on its own!)... and then with the scene at the airport she’s is allowed to be emotionally vulnerable without being any less of a competent prodigy of law! She’s just... so fucking cool I LOVE HER!

All the people I ship romantically with this character- Maya Fey! I love the contrast between both of their personalities making them seem like total opposites, but when you look at their connection to a family legacy it becomes obvious they have a lot in common. I wish the games had expanded on their dynamic more, but unfortunately lesbians are oppressed :( 

My non-romantic OTP for this character- VON KARMA SIBLINGS... Mieke I know you agree with me on this! They grew up with the same terrible expectation that come with being a prodigy, and so they’re really the only ones who’s can comfort and understand each other... they obviously both feel such an obligation to protect each other and it makes me so CRAZY UGH. BROTHER AND SISTER! 

My unpopular opinion about this character- I don’t think this is an unpopular opinion but I wish she’d kept the shorter hair design from the concept art where her hair is slicked forward to contrast with her father’s slicked back hair, not only because I’m a lesbian and that hairstyle was SO GAY but because I think it could have highlighted or even foreshadowed how she differs from Manfred. Maybe since she hasn’t been able to abandon his influences by Justice for All it wouldn’t make since for her to have such a “wild” hairstyle, but I think that if she returns it would be amazing to see her with that hairstyle to represent how she’s moved on after a decade.

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon- SHOW HER DENOUNCING MANFRED VON KARMA FOR REAL. I can understand that it would take time for her to fully accept that her father was not as admirable as she’d been least to believe, but by this point in the timeline I think it’s time for that aspect of her character arc to be resolved. The natural conclusion of her development requires her experiencing the same acceptance of defeat as her brother, so I really hope that if they bring Franziska back at some point she’ll be allowed to admit that her father was awful and that victory isn’t an indication of worth.

Rex Raptor

How I feel about this character- HE IS MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IN ANY PIECE OF MEDIA EVER. I know that he isn’t meant to be a deep character at all and he isn’t given much narrative focus at all but he is just SO DAMN ENDEARING TO ME OKAY. I have an unhealthy obsession with how he is initially introduced as being crass and inconsiderate while Weevil is more polite and strategic, but then it turns out Weevil is a total asshole while Rex is just... a kid who likes dinosaurs and duels for fun? Like even though he’s a total dumbass (the best character trait) who can be a bit rude (not even mean-spirited if we’re being totally honest, like most of his remarks are just him being snarky), the manga describes him as “having to the spirit of a true duelist” and he never really seems as bitter about losing as his counterpart Weevil (except in the Season 4 filler arc, which although I adore for giving me so much more Rex content, makes a lot mistakes by characterizing him as basically interchangeable with Weevil... BUT that’s ANOTHER STORY for ANOTHER DAY). I mean he has more justifiable reasons to be upset than Weevil given how he was LITERALLY cheated out of the Battle City tournaments by Espa (which Mokuba the official rule enforcer LETS THEM GET AWAY WITH and then doesn’t do ANYTHING to compensate Rex), and he STILL tries to warn Joey to stay away from trouble despite him being the guy he supposedly dislikes because he took his best card, totally disgracing him and ruining his entire career. I could keep going but this paragraph isn’t probably already sickeningly long and I still need to be able to make posts about him in the future, so in a nutshell... he seems like a funny and good kid. OH AND WHEN MAI ASKED HIM THE “what can you see but cannot see” RIDDLE AND HE ANSWERED TAKOYAKI BECAUSE YOU CAN SEE THE DOUGH ON THE OUTSIDE BUT NOT THE OCTOPUS ON THE INSIDE? LITERAL CUTEST SHIT EVER KING OF COMEDY I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU. Ahem. Sorry.  

All the people I ship romantically with this character- Weevil Underwood. They’re both teenagers who got famous, let it get to their heads, and then lost everything... considering that they seem like the types of kids who would be bullied relentlessly (they're already constantly being made fun of by mostly of the character anyway), I think the fact that they end up befriending each other is a good sign that they can find some comfort in each other and discover other things to be fulfilled by beside card games. I love how even though this friendship is framed as a begrudging alliance between two self-servings jerks half of the time, the other half of the time it’s about best friends starting a shit together for petty reasons and always being by each other’s side no matter what. The way that they tease each other constantly but then always stand up for one another when others pick on them... it’s so obvious that they actually really care about one another! I just love their dynamic so much it’s unreal, hence the blog.

My non-romantic OTP for this character- Although I primarily think about his relationship with Weevil, there is still a lot of potential to be explored with other characters! Mako is another minor character obsessed with a type of animal, but where’s he differs from Rex and ESPECIALLY Weevil is his sportsmanship, being able to become friends with Yugi and Joey even after being defeated by them. I think that difference mostly comes down to Mako being significantly older than Red and Weevil and therefore having more perspective on gaming fame, so I feel like he would be a great influence on them. On Rex specifically, I think Season 4 missed a big opportunity to expand on Rex and Mai’s relationship. Mai had been a major contributor to Rex losing in Duelist Kingdom, but now they both feel like washed-up failures. I think given the circumstances they could have comeback to an understanding, maybe even have Mai apologize for throwing him under the bus to screw with Joey? I think showing Rex that not everyone who has wronged him in the past had/still has bad intentions would be really good addition to his character arc in Season 4. Then of course there is Joey... to me, the main difference between Rex and Joey is that Joey is stupidly lucky while Rex never seems to catch a break. Otherwise they’re both recklessness dumbasses who prioritize brawn over brain, but Joey is nevertheless able to triumph through sheer dumb luck while Rex gets anihilated over and over with basically the same strategy (minus the RNG cards, Joey’s strategy is just big monsters after all). While the previously mentions she relationships were hypothetical, this dynamic between Joey and Rex is actually given some focus in canon, and I found it very compelling! I only wish this difference between them hadn't only been used to increase Joey’s confidence in his skills as a duelist (which I will remind you is mostly LUCK, no offense to Joey because I do love him BUT I MEAN... only being able to beat Rex because of a lucky Time Wizard isn’t peak strategy ), but to develop Rex’s character somehow as well. 

My unpopular opinion about this character- JUST LIKING THIS CHARACTER IS AN UNPOPULAR OPINION MAN... tons of people hate him so much! I know he isn’t an important character at all but he isn’t nearly as much of a jerk as people make him out to be, and I mean even if he was he’s just a kid! I won’t pretend that he is always portrayed favorably by the narrative, but the fact that some people feel nothing but disdain for a child whose accomplishments were robbed from him by forces outside of his control and who received no sympathy for it, causing his self-worth to deteriorate... it’s a bit concerning to me that so many adults in particular are so disgusted by that. 

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon- I’ve talked QUITE a lot already about things that I wish had happened to develop his character more, but above all else I wish his character arc in Season 4 had been given a proper conclusion. The writers set up this interesting conflict where the insignificant minor characters are upset that they aren’t allowed to be successful when the more important characters aren’t involved and shows the consequences that their defeat had on their lives and self-image... BUT THEN AFTER THEY’RE DEFEATED THEY ARE FORGOTTEN ABOUT FOR THE REST OF THE SEASON UNTIL THEY WAKE UP IN THE HOSPITAL AND INSTANTLY REVERT BACK TO BEING COMIC RELIEF GRRR GRRRRRRRR! There wasn’t no resolution to this arc AT ALL and it drives me UP THE GODDAMN WALL because it absolutely captivated me in concept... but like with many things in Yu-Gi-Oh! the execution was totally ruined :( 

[cxnnonball]

my favorite marine biologist & fav artist ♡♡

you hate me so much and LOVE to see me in pain huh.

based on this ask meme.

Who said “I love you” first

inhales. i feel like dustin said it first. probably some cliche slipped out during sex bs. 

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background

both. but i feel like dustin STILL has a photo of them as his phone bg...

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror

nova without a doubt draws things on the bathroom fog you cannot convince me otherwise.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts

both. nova probably comes home with artsy things (that dustin doesn’t understand) and dustin brings home marine things like “look at this clam i found today it’s really old and not native to these waters” and the other just sits there like “...ok?? thank you i think???”

Who initiated the first kiss

nova. dustin over thinks everything and as confident as he might seem nova makes him SO nervous. so she absolutely had to make the first move on him.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning

both. dustin sleeps in every day unless he has to go to the water for research. nova probably wakes him up for classes by kissing him and if that’s not the cutest shit you’ve ever heard I GTG!!!

Who starts tickle fights

dustin. trying to make her laugh during horror movies or after a bad date ( grrr i want them together RN). when they’re dating he tickles her as a break from studying

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower

dustin pokes his head in the bathroom every chance he gets with her, when she heads to the bathroom after painting or any bit of messy art work dustin is riding her coat tails into the bathroom.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch

both? her coming out to the water while he’s doing research but also him coming in while she’s doing art and making sure she remembers to eat and not get too distracted by whatever she’s currently working out

Who was nervous and shy on the first date

both? i think they’re both gonna be nervous on their second first date (my heart). but i think they were both also nervous on their first date bc they were like?? is this allowed??

Who kills/takes out the spiders

dustin. but he recently learned that house spiders die if you put them outside and that really bummed him out so he pouts the whole time he’s killing the spider now.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk

dustin. he never felt love from home before so feeling love from nova, especially in a drunk state he’s easily on cloud nine and letting EVERYONE know about it.

[trensu]

Episode 14: The One where LWJ Sings to WWX, y’know, Like a Bro

WE’RE STILL IN THE BEST CAVE IN THE WORLD GUYS

AND WE START OFF WITH ~THEIR SONG~ PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND AS LWJ GENTLY WAKES UP.

And first thing he notices is that he woke up with his forehead ribbon on his forehead where it’s supposed to be (it’s right there in the name) 

Wwx: oh yeah, i put it back on you while you were sleeping. I know how nervous you get when you’re not wearing it.

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

DID YOU?

HE PUT IT BACK ON HIM TO SPARE HIM ANXIETY

(You can't tell me that LWJ does not low-key have anxiety. Nobody's that much of a stickler for rules without being constantly anxious about breaking them. That's just facts)

Also, lol, the minute lwj wakes up, wwx is all “ah, must be 5am.” HE’S KEEPING TRACK OF TIME WITH LWJ’S SLEEP HABITS LOLOLOL

Now wwx and lwj are talking Important Escape Details

Wwx: yeah, went back into the pond and it looks like the Murder Turtle blocked off the escape route

Lwj: you shouldn’t be going into the pond with your injury

Wwx: i’m not that delicate!

And then he turns it around and asks lwj how well the medicine was working on his leg (it’s all better now, i guess?? idk he seems fine now. wq’s medicine is MAGIC)

BECAUSE THEY CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER

Here we learn the official name of the Murder Turtle

Lwj: it’s like a xuanwu but not

Wwx: xuanwu?? *proceeds to describe what he knows about it*

Lwj: *is impressed and surprised*

Have more faith in your soulmate lwj. He reads! Sometimes! When it’s important!

Wwx: aren’t xuanwus supposed to have sharp teeth? Like Grrr

HE MAKES THE MOST ADORABLE GROWLY FACE I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE AND MAKES THE CUTEST GROWL SOUND AT LWJ. AHHHHH!

But also, he’s disappointed that the xuanwu didn’t have sharp teeth?? WWX, THE THING TRIED TO EAT YOU JUST YESTERDAY. BE GRATEFUL IT DOESN’T HAVE SHARP TEETH

Wwx: it doesn’t even matter what it is! It’s a big monster and if we kill it we’ll be Big Damn Heroes

So EXCITED and EAGER and he has this MISCHIEVOUS LOOK ON HIS FACE. Obviously he’s suffered brain damage

Wwx: and, ah, if it kills us, it’s okay bc it’ll be an AWESOME death lol

Lwj just stares at him LOL

His face is like, “this guy? This is the guy my heart decided to fall for?? Really???”

Okay so now they’re being all sneaky and gathering up bows and arrows that surround the pond and then they go back and get to work on fixing them and preparing for battle

We get to see lwj practicing the chord assassination technique like a BADASS

They come up with a plan!! Wwx will go into the Murder Turtle’s shell to coax him out of it so that lwj can then, idk, decapitate it with his Killer String.

(that’s...not how actual turtles work, but bc this is a magic murder turtle, i figure the rules don’t apply)

AHHHHH

LWJ DOES A THING

So obvs since wwx has to go inside the shell and lwj has to stay outside the shell they gotta communicate right and Ancient Fantasy China does not have good cell reception

Wwx: listen to me

And with that verbal cue, lwj does this thing that makes his fingers glow with spiritual energy and then taps wwx’s forehead which then has a little burst of the glow for half a second.

And TA-DAH! NOW THEY’RE PSYCHICALLY LINKED!!! 

THEY’RE SOULMATES AND NOW THEY’RE PSYCHICALLY LINKED YOUR OTP COULD NEVER

It must be a link that only lets them hear what the other wants them to hear otherwise wwx would’ve found out lwj is smitten with him right there and then, omg, that could’ve saved us so much heartbreak later on

But we’re not gonna think about that right now bc i don’t want to short-circuit my keyboard with tears

YUCK, wwx is inside the Murder Turtle’s shell and it’s SUPER GROSS

EVERYTHING IS ALL RED

THE FLOOR’S ALL MUDDY AND GUMMY

THERE’S LIKE, FLESHY ROPES HANGING EVERYWHERE

DISGUSTING

Wwx: ewww, it stinks so bad i wanna puke *chokes back bile*

BE STRONG WWX, YOU CAN DO THIS

And now he’s bumped into some dead bodies 

WHY ARE YOU PUTTING YOUR FACE SO CLOSE TO THE DEAD BODIES WWX, THAT’S A TERRIBLE IDEA. YOU WERE JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT THE STENCH 2 SECONDS AGO, AND NOW YOU’RE SHOVING YOUR FACE IN IT???

Oh noooo, now he’s found the Screaming Sword of Resentment that screams bloody murder at him

He grabs it and stabs Murder Turtle in the face which makes Murder Turtle mad enough to get out of the shell

We’re going to continue to ignore the bad cgi and ridiculously over the top fighting moves

...and the way he floats horizontally(??? somehow??) as the Murder Turtle tries to shake him off

My poor bb is hanging on for dear life while lwj does his Killer String thing

I LOVE LWJ’S DETERMINED FACE HERE!!

His brow is all scrunched up and his mouth gets all pinched and firm. SO DASHING LAN ZHAN, GO SAVE YOUR SOULMATE.

But oh no! The resentful energy pouring from the sword is getting to wwx!

Uh oh, I did not like the look of that grin on wwx’s face

that was NOT HIS MISCHIEVOUS GRIN

THAT WAS A MALEVOLENT GRIN.

I DON’T LIKE IT

STOP THAT WWX

BE A GOOD BOY

Lwj shouts his name, he’s so worried!!

And now we see wwx use resentful energy for the first time ever!!

In a badass move he starts levitating all the abandoned swords and staffs that littered the shore AND USES THEM TO STAB THE MURDER TURTLE IN THE THROAT

SO COOL, SO COOL

Murder Turtle flops over dead and takes wwx down with him INTO THE POND AND WWX IS UNCONSCIOUS!! NOOOOOOO

Lwj, ofc, rushes to his side as soon as he hits the water and rescues him

He gets him out of the pond and takes him to dry land

Lwj: wei ying, wei ying! Wake up, wake up

GUYS, THIS IS THE MOST EMOTION WE’VE HEARD IN HIS VOICE SO FAR

HE’S REPEATING HIMSELF FOR GOODNESS SAKE

HE OF FEW WORDS GOES ON TO REPEAT HIMSELF TWICE OVER

HE’S FREAKING OUT

Oh gross, we cut to the Evil Wen’s lair 

C’mon nobody cares about whatever’s going on there. Get us back to the important stuff!!! I am Done listening to evil wens ranting

AHH WE’RE BACK IN THE CAVE WITH OUR BOYS!!

WWX REGAINS CONSCIOUSNESS!!

Wwx: lan zhan, is it dead?

Lwj: yes

Wwx: yes? (he says weakly, in disbelief, MY POOR WWX)

Wwx: is it dead? (why’s he repeating himself, WWX ARE YOU OKAY??)

(I mean, obviously he's not what with the murder turtle thing but I don't think he can afford to get more brain damage at this point)

Lwj: yes, it is.

Oh and now wwx is telling lwj about all the screaming voices he heard from the sword and asks him if he was dreaming those up

LIKE HE’S NOT TRUSTING HIS GRASP ON REALITY RN OR SOMETHING!!

AND HE’LL ONLY TRUST IT IF LWJ CONFIRMS IT FOR HIM

BC HE TRUSTS HIM AND THEY’RE SOULMATES!!!

Lwj reassures wwx that he did not dream up those screams

(Somebody should probably check him for a concussion,jic. I mean those screams were real THIS time but you never know!!)

(Maybe concussions don't exist in Ancient Fantasy China, idk)

Wwx is all pale and shaky!! MY POOR WWX!! Lwj is rightfully fussing over him

He lets out a weak laugh (BC THAT’S HIS COPING MECHANISM, DIFFUSE THE SITUATION WITH HUMOR, MY POOR WWX) and is like “who knew that one day i’d get to see the 2nd jade of lan look so worried?”

IT’S BECAUSE HE LOVES YOU, WWX, YOU DENSE IDIOT

Lwj doesn’t respond but he does look away briefly LIKE HE’S AFRAID OF WWX SEEING SO MUCH EMOTION ON HIS FACE

AAHHHH, LAN ZHAN, IT’S OKAY, DON’T HIDE AWAY LIKE THAT!! I PROMISE WWX LOVES YOU TOO!!!

WWX: lan zhan, i didn’t think i’d survive this

He whispers weakly AS HIS BODY IS STARTS TO TREMBLE LIKE CRAZY

Lwj: wei ying, you have a fever

And then he brings wwx’s wrist close to start pouring in some spiritual energy

SO GENTLY, WITH SUCH DEDICATED CONCENTRATION

BC HIS WEI YING IS HURTING AND HE WANTS TO MAKE IT STOP

AAHHHHH

WWX: that’s so soothing lan zhan

Oh jeez, the way he sounds when he says that...

And omg the way lwj looks in the blue glow of the spiritual energy transfer

AS IF HE DIDN’T ALREADY LOOK LIKE SOME SORT OF HOLY DEITY, HE’S LEGIT GLOWING NOW TOO

WWX: how boring...why hasn’t jc showed up to rescue me yet?

Uh, rude much? Lwj is right there

AND HERE WE COLLECTIVELY LOSE OUR MINDS BC WWX ASKS LWJ TO SING TO HIM!!!!!!!!!!

AND LWJ STARTS TO SING TO HIM!!!!!

AND THIS IS WHERE WE GET ~THEIR SONG~ ACKNOWLEDGED BY THE CHARACTERS FOR THE FIRST TIME BC THAT’S WHAT HE SINGS TO WEI YING

AND WHILE HE SINGS, WE GET GIVEN THE MOST WONDERFUL OF ALL FLASHBACKS. 

IT IS A COMPILATION OF ALL THEIR IMPORTANT MOMENTS TOGETHER SO FAR

THEIR MOONLIT ROOFTOP SWORD FIGHT!!

THEIR COLD POND CAVE MARRIAGE!!

THEIR BUNNY LANTERN!!

BASICALLY EVERYTHING I’VE BEEN SCREAMING ABOUT THESE PAST 14 EPISODES

I’M LITERALLY TEARING UP

I CNA’T TAKE IT

MY HEART, MY HEART 💕💕💕

THEY’RE SINGING ~THEIR SONG~ AND I’M DYING OF FEELINGS OVERLOAD

Also, jfc, there’s no Heterosexual explanation for that flashback sequence…

Wwx: it sounds so nice, so nice, what’s the name of the song…?

AHHHHHH!!!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

LWJ TELLS HIM THE NAME OF THE SONG!!

!!HE PRACTICALLY CONFESSES HIS ETERNAL UNDYING LOVE TO HIM

AND WWX HAS TO FUCKING PASS OUT BEFORE HE HEARS IT GOD DAMN IT

IT’S LIKE GETTING COCKBLOCKED, BUT LIKE, EMOTIONALLY WHICH IS SO MUCH WORSE  WTF

And when wwx wakes up again, he’s out of the cave!

But instead of seeing lwj’s godly visage, he wakes up to that peacock jzx and is like “you??”

Jc shows up!

Wwx: where’s lan zhan?

Jc: he left

Wwx: he left?? But he’s still injured!!

Jc: so is everyone else!! And he went back to gusu so…

Wwx: but he--

Jc: A THANK YOU WOULD BE NICE

Jc: IT’S NOT LIKE I TRAVELED WITHOUT REST FOR 7 DAYS TO GET HELP AND RESCUE YOU

Now we got to go through Plot Things

We’re at Lotus Pier!! (where wwx proceeds to pass out again!! Get used to it guys, he does this a lot)

Then the yunmeng sibs have a beautiful moment together

Okay, we’re gonna pause here BC WWX IS SO FREAKING ADORABLE??

He gets all pouty and asks jyl to clean his face for him bc his arms are too tired and jyl does it bc she loves her brother

AND HIS ADORABLE FACE

HIS SO CUTE ADORABLE FACE WHEN SHE CLEANS HIM UP

I CAN’T I CAN’T

IT’S TOO MUCH

HOW IS THIS GUY AN ACTUAL PERSON THAT EXISTS 

Lol, wwx is like, i wish you’d been there in the cave with me jc, lan zhan almost bored me to death

What a liar, lol

Like he wasn't completely enraptured by LWJ's presence the ENTIRE TIME

Oh yikes, we’ve got some screwed up family dynamics in the Jiang Family courtesy of m-yu and jfm.

For the sake of my sanity we’re gonna gloss over that

Now that the parents stormed off, wwx does his best to console jc (bc his parents, double yikes)

Now watch me as a break down sobbing when wwx makes A PROMISE HE WON’T BE ABLE TO KEEEEEP

I’ll be your right hand man, he tells him. Gusu has the twin jades, but yunmeng will have twin heroes, he says

(WHY MUST YOU HURT ME THIS WAY, SHOW, WHYYYYY)

After wwx says those things about the twins, he looks up at the sky wistfully and asks jc “do you think we’ll ever see them again?”

“Them” he says, like he’s not completely talking about just lan zhan

jc’s like how the heck would i know???

And we end the episode with wwx still gazing at the sky, dreaming about his lan zhan

I mean, we don’t see it, the dreams or thoughts or whatever, but we kNOW IN OUR HEARTS THAT’S WHAT HE’S DOING

This was a Very Heterosexual episode. For that I give it 10/10 stars. I would watch that flashback sequence with him singing over and over and over and over and over and ov--

Return to Masterpost

[shiro-0197]

Hi :) ah don't worry about it!! I hope you had a wonderful time out and that you enjoyed your day. I was about to sleep but I'm not so tired yet, so I figured I'd reply and slowly doze off once Im done.

ooh melon ice cream! That sounds so lovely, I've not seen it on the menu, but they do have occasional new ice cream flavours, so let's hope that's the case when we have our date :) (they've had caramel, m&ms, oreos and the rare Malaysian specials, so fingers crossed!!) I'm guessing melon is your favourite flavour?

oh that's okay, I didn't either, until my palms just kept getting scratched and my dad was like "it's time to get you some gloves" 😭 and I just went along with it.

oh my gosh that'd be so cool!! I love it when my old graduates come in and see their old teachers and juniors again. There was this one guy who graduated a while ago, but comes back every year to coach our school debate team, because he was a national debater himself. Anyways, I hope you'll be able to visit his school as a graduate someday!!

That's the cutest analogy ever, honestly. You're right, it's a relief and something fun to do :) yeah, he's wonderful, I can truly just talk about the craziest things with him and Angel, and Abigail too, actually.

Thank you!! I hope I'm able to do it, and it isn't just a resolution I forget about ':( I love it when you go offtopic, actually. It's just so cute to see you excitedly talking (writing?¿) about something.

Aww then I wish you and him all the best. 😭😭Rightly so?? I mean, you're gorgeous, so—

KAHFKSHDKSK *visible terrified noises* 😭😭that's so cursed oh gosh. But AHH some good old teasing. I do the same with angel. Tho we do it with animal pictures Skhdkshsks tho artbreeder can make some really pretty stuff :> I tried making oikawa, and I'm actually happy with the way it turned out so—

I hope you guys get some really good cheeseburgers. And KAJDKSJSKS Norway 😭💖💖 it's like the home of fresh salmon, make sure you have some there !! AND NORSE MYTHS—

you have such picturesque cottgecore dreams wtf I want your dreams 😭😭 they sound so relaxing and soft. When I do have dreams (although they're rare) they're just of things which have 0.01% possibility of happening irl and I wake up in a cold sweat.

Yes two weirdo chilling 😭💖

Trust me I'm the exact same. Double points if they're passionate and confident about it. Then I'm choosing a wedding dress 😔🤚 tho yay I'd love to be a show-off with you (tho at some point I'd probably shut up with the dorkiest smile on my face because I'd just want to listen to you talk excitedly). And KAJDKSJSKS 😭😭 you make me wanna rewatch Kung Fu Panda it was such a good movie!! I miss it every day.

Your day sounds lovely!! Tho damn guess we gotta sue the coffee company now too. I hope tomorrow is just as amazing as today was, for you. I love you very much, Shiro.

—☃️

Tbh it was pretty boring, I only had to get some stuff done but I saw a pretty dog so I guess that's something nice about that😭 I hope you slept well!!

Hopefully!!! Though I wouldnt mind any other ice cream flavour, ice cream just cant be bad. But yeah, melon is my favorite!! What are the Malaysian specials, by the way?

Ohh I see~ we usually ignore our scratches and everything, haha. I only learnt the fact that I need to treat my wounds and not just let them be an year ago XD to be honest, I was sk confused when I saw my classmate freaking out over the cut I got while trying to make something. I was literally like "bro chill *licks wound*" and believe me when I say it made him scream 😭

Me too!!! They're usually really fun and cool people, I get so happy when I hear that they're coming. Also, a national? That's so awesome?!?!

It's always so good to have someone you can just talk about anything, be it the political issues or the bug you saw today😭 and having them as interested as i am makes me so happy xndskmd

I'm sure you can!! I believe in you, Shortcake!! Also same goes to you, you're the cutest person ever when you talk about something... anything!!

Ahahah, sounds fun!! I remember one day I sent him a screenshot of one of the characters from the Cats movie, and said that's him. AND HE IGNORED ME FOR A WEEK AFTER THAT😭😭

Ohh he looks so good!!! He looks so soft nnaggdhwhdhwh😭😭🥺🥺🥺

I didnt make this guy but I found him in the Random section, and tbh he looks so gorgeous to me I wanna marry him

His hair !!!!!!!!!😍😍😍

Ohhhh I hope the salmon is good over there, otherwise I lose hope in fish😩 also YES norse myths!!!

Awhh, I wish we knew how to control our dreams😭 I wanna be there to comfort you when you have those weird bad dreams :((

Okay that sounds like such a cute comic idea I'm gonna force ask Kuro to doodle that XD I'd love to ramble about stuff with you. I really wanna hear everything you have to say about anything!!!

Omg now I wanna rewatch the movies😭😭 Finally someone agrees with me, most people I know dont like the movies grrr

I really hope so as well!! I hope I can get even more stuff done. I really need to clean the yard from snow I think, there's a bit too much😭

I love you a lot and I hope today's going well for you! ♡♡

[angrypedestrian]

THE TIME IDIOTS EPISODE 410 TITLED “Tricky Dick’s Family Fun Time Jamboree” MY THOUGHTS:

So on the scale of legends presidents, this Nixon is light years better than the Lyndon Johnson from last season. Not a high bar, but he did manage to sail over it so, congratulations Dick

But do not get me wrong, it is also comically bad

for those keeping score at home the scale is from Johnson to Obama i am right and will not argue about this

grant and washington barely count so they’re in the middle

but dear god i can’t believe that the catalyst for this episode’s events is just Liar Liar but with Richard Nixon

NO ARTFUL NUDITY god 

sara: grownups fight, it’s normal, it’s fine. i have definitely had normal healthy adult relationships before

ray: we actually weren’t-

sara: I’VE NEVER HAD A FEELING IN MY LIFE LETS GO KIDNAP NIXON

Zach vs. Legends understanding of government bureaucracy part 1639

THAT IS NOT HOW THIS WORKS. HE WOULD NOT BE ACTING DIRECTOR

what even is hank’s JOB

...what is gary’s job

ALSO zari and nate probably can’t date because of BUREAUCRACY

BUT WHAT DO I KNOW

NOTHING APPARENTLY!!!

crochet club??? for my babies??? I LOVE IT

everyone gets a craft! and then there’s legends craft night it goes exactly as you expect and charlie ends up in the med bay

an aside: zari in a suit? yeah

mona going “grrr”? the cutest thing I have ever seen

mick: i can’t believe this is happening again

force ghost len, descending from the ceiling: WELL, PERHAPS THERE IS A SOLUTION TO THAT PROBLEM MICHAEL

sara, you must be in a state because you are leaving john and mick...in charge of a Youth????

also that’s not where walter reed is

also charlie couldn’t also dress up as a doctor too, like anyone would notice?

lovin’ this funky royalty free background music-they got one extra tom wilson episode with that kind of creative budgeting!

but then we throw it right away again with Free Ride

which was wasted as background music tbh

hell YEAH gideon, you tell hank fuck YOU

sara’s version of punch bug involves knives

it’s the most dangerous game at the league

this episode was a riff on movies made for 50 year old men and me, and those demos alone, so thank you phil

phil: what do kids love? 70′s road/bandit movies, right?

phil: i’m so hip

nixon...have you ever met a hippie?

is there...a reason they need to all be wearing the shirts?

no, no there is not

canonically, john is a fan of the Lonely Island

he knows all the words to Ras Trent and you actually can’t tell me I’m wrong!!!

sara: i’m a great mentor, god. you’re so fucking lucky mona

Gary, your conspiracy board is so good baby

buuuuttttt, a gary nora combo? unexpectedly great

mona, you idiot. i mean that with love, but dear lord

nate INSISTED they dress up in the sheriff outfits

nate: we need to make sure we’re-

hank, already dressed

nate: oh, shit, maybe i am related to you

DJ ZARI HOLY SHIT

we could def get a whole episode of this and i would be VERY happy

fucking billy joel

that ALONE would make nate a springsteen fan instead

fuck billy joel

nathaniel stop trying to sympathize with your dad he’s BAD

i know it’s complicated but like fuck your dad dude

oh right, nora’s from the future, she’s like, ultimate generation z like Zari and so was essentially born inside a computer and intrinsically understands them

useful!

nora bb i missed you! i’m glad you’re back

ray, EVERYONE used a strategy guide to beat the water temple in OoT

ain’t no shame in that

the acting involved in the inhalation and expelling of the truth bug? where are the emmys??

academy? are you listening????

sara: i have NEVER had a FEELING in my LIFE, and i am NOT. STARTING. NOW.

mona: uhhhhh...sara launched herself into the sun?

mick: eh, she’ll come back

mmmmmmm that john and sara combo!!!

i LOVE them

they’re similar enough that they can actually get through to each other

matt ryan is an excellent winker

‘i don’t hear gender’ please shut up nate

mona’s gonna fuck some shit up!!!

i am PUMPED

maybe we should have cut away for that cgi transformation tho

anyways she’s doin it!!

KILL EM ALL fuck YEAH

nate handcuffing ray

well i’m sure that’s not the first time

ray: it’s not!

i bet hank fucking voted for nixon too

john’s really getting knocked the fuck out a lot this season

mmmhmmm yeah right shut the fuck UP hank

fuck this dude makes me mad

the actor they have playing wolf-mona is great and is probably not paid nearly enough

sara: this is a you not me situation do not think i will be following my own advice

sara: also if anyone tries to hurt you i will kill them

RAY AND NATE LOVE EACH OTHER NEVER FUCKING FORGET 

my beautiful beautiful boys, these irl dragon bros 

steelatom never dies!!! 

and even outside of a shipping context, their canonical platonic love for one another should be taught in schools to children, like, fuck the goddamn patriarcy love your bros wholeheartedly!!

sara y’all have been stuck on a never ending road trip from hell for the past four years what do you think you have been doing this whole time?

lol charlie dissolved the us government

whoopsie gotta go fix that real quick!!

i can’t believe they remembered zari was in an ARGUS dystopian future!!

good job show!

hoo boy can’t wait for them not to deal with the amaya in the room with nate/zari

i am all for this ship, they’re fantastic, HOWEVER, it will be a crime when they don’t ultimately discuss it

I REALLY DO NOT LIKE NERON’S HOLE FACE

i do NOT

Wow Rest In Piss to Hank, guess they ran out of money to keep paying Tom Wilson, which is a shame

also guess i was wrong about the funeral next ep

but that does mean nate’s grandma is alive!! i was concerned

NEXT WEEK: oh that promo gave us...nothing. i can’t fucking believe we’re gonna get a bollywood musical number.

i mean, i can, but like, i have to at least pretend otherwise these lists lose their whole impact

[ctfmeister]

Daddi’s Boy

(Sequel to Unhealthy Side Effects of Pizza)

With her hands crossed and a sour expression on her face, D.Va sat impatiently in the Overwatch lobby, her foot tapping away at the floor while she waited for someone to come get her. Thanks to her extraordinary performance while defending her country, she’d been invited to the Overwatch base in Gibraltar in order to join the team. But honestly D.Va had no interest in joining at all.

The young Korean gamer was more than happy with how her life was going at the moment. Right now, all she had to do was play videogames and help defend South Korea. She wasn’t really looking to expand her jurisdiction to the entire world. In fact, were it not for her superiors asking her to at least come in person, she wouldn’t have even bothered responding. They insisted incessantly that this was a ‘great opportunity for her’, so now she had no choice but sit here, waiting begrudgingly.

Although honestly, it wasn’t all bad. Now that she was in Gibraltar, maybe she could take a few days off to go sight-seeing. She could do a little bit of tourism in Spain, or spend a little bit of time in France… She could even go to Great Britain, do a little bit of traveling and relaxing…

“Oh, hi there!” Called out a voice to D.Va. “You must be Miss Hana Song, I presume.”

‘Finally!’ D.Va thought. Now that someone was here she could tell them how much she didn’t want to become part of Overwatch. D.Va stood up straight and looked at the Overwatch member, when a huge gasp left her mouth.

“My name is Lena Oxton, codename Tracer.” She said, extending her hand towards D.Va. “Pleasure to meet you.”

The young woman before D.Va was absolutely stunning. Her body was fit and lean, not too muscly or brutish. Her build was petite, looking cute and soft. Her face adorable but not too childish. And her voice was so angelic that it rang D.Va sweetly inside her ears. This girl was the perfect embodiment of femininity, and D.Va absolutely loved it.

Ever since she was young, D.Va had always held a disdain for guys. Maybe it was because her father had always treated her horribly. Maybe it began after spending so much time with gross obese gamer guys. Whatever the reason was, her hate fat, gross, pervy guys transformed her sexual tastes in the opposite direction. She liked cute, small, soft girls, which Tracer fit like a glove. Tracer had to be D.Va’s dream girl.

“Err- Miss Song?” Tracer asked with a confusion.

D.Va shook her head intensely, mentally kicking herself. She was staring dumbly at a pretty lady again. “Oh um- Right. Sorry.” D.Va stumbled, extending her own hand to shaker Tracer’s. “Yes. That’s me. Hana Song. Or D.Va. But you can just call me Hana. Or D.Va. Or whatever you want.”

The Korean girl nervously held her breath in, hoping to not have embarrassed herself in front of the cutie. However, much to her relief, Tracer just giggled it off. “Alright Hana. Well, I appreciate that you’ve taken some time to travel over here and consider joining Overwatch. We’ve seen you in action and we really think you’d make a great fit for the team. You see, here at Overwatch, we think that blah blah… Blah blah blah…”

Tracer continued on talking, but the meaning of all words dropped for D.Va. The only thing she was able to do was stare intently into the eyes of this magnificent woman, admiring all the beauty she held. The way she cutely moved her petite mouth… The way her voice sang out with excitement from the topic… The happy expression she made as she talked… D.Va could watch over her forever…

“So, what do you say?” Tracer asked.

“Huh?” D.Va stepped back, not really following the trail of the conversation.

“Well, do you want to join Overwatch or not?” Tracer asked once more. “I know you have a lot of responsibilities with the defense of your country, but we would really like it if you joined our group. And, if you want, I could even be your guide and show you around. Be like a mentor of sorts, just so you can adjust more easily.”

D.Va began blushing heavily. “You- You’d do that? Just for me?”

“Of course!” Tracer exclaimed joyfully. “I’d be more than happy to help you get accustomed here. It would be my duty to make sure you felt comfortable with the team, and you I’d be glad for you to depend on me for anything you need. Besides, who wouldn’t love to help a girl as cute as you?”

D.Va’s cheeks became even redder, her blush covering her entire face. “Y-Y-Y-You think I’m c-cute?”

“Yeah I do.” Tracer responded plainly. “You’re one of the cutest girls I’ve ever seen. Actually, this is a bit embarrassing, but I watch your MEKA streams all the time. I just love seeing you fighting and being all cool. Hehe, I guess I’m a bit of a fan.”

Wow, this was so embarrassing… D.Va’s whole body felt hot, sweat pouring down from her face. This girl was so pretty and nice, and now she was calling her cute and being so kind… She was even a fan of D.Va’s stream. This was everything D.Va could dream of. To have such a beautiful girl around her… Maybe they could even...

“Yes, I’ll join Overwatch.” D.Va said confidently. “But only if… Only if you spend time with me… Showing me around and helping me and stuff…”

Tracer nodded with glee. “Yay!” She began to shake D.Va’s hands joyfully. “Don’t worry about that, I’ll be more than happy to be your guiding figure! Heck, we could even become super great friends!”

D.Va looked at the ground with embarrassment. Maybe they could become… More than friends…

 Loud stomping echoed through the halls of the Overwatch base, as D.Va stormed through, an furious expression on her face. She stomped with anger and power, slamming her feet down one after the other with tremendous force as she walked towards the monkey’s laboratory. Her goal? To get that stupid primate to answer her concerns.

Finally arriving at his laboratory, she walked through the open doors with disregard. “WINSTON!!” She yelled with rage.

The gorilla hopped from his seat in surprise, a jar of peanut butter dropping onto the floor as he turned to face his visitor.  “OH! Uh- Angela! I uh- I wasn’t having any peanut butter right now, I was just studying, uhhh- things!”

However, much to Winston’s relief, it wasn’t Doctor Ziegler coming to reprimand him for his eating habits, it was just the Koran gamer D.Va, standing before him with her shoulders crossed and an angry expression.

“Oh, it’s just you.” Winston asserted, with a sigh of relief, he turned back around and returned to his unfinished business.

“Winston, where is she?” D.Va asked commandingly. “I’ve sent you like, 12 emails today and you haven’t responded to a single one of them.”

“That’s just because you’ve sent hundreds of emails this week.” Winston answered matter-of-factly. “They’re all going into spam now.”

“Grrr…” D.Va grabbed hold of Winston’s rotatable chair and turned it towards her. “Winston it’s been 2 weeks, 3 days, 6 hours, 22 minutes and 51 seconds since she left.”

“Oh my, that’s very specific.” Winston said with a look of concern.

“Where. Is. She?” D.Va asked once more, pure ire seeping from her face and voice.

Winston sighed. “I told you, she’s on vacation. She wanted to take a little bit of time off before fully returning to Overwatch.”

“Yeah but wasn’t she only supposed to be gone for a week?” D.Va retorted. “Don’t you think something bad might’ve happened to her?

“I’m sure she’s fine.” Winston tried to reassure her. “I called Emily a little while ago and she said they were doing great.”

D.Va shot him a look of doubt. “How long was a little while ago.”

Winston gave a long sigh.

“Hasn’t she also not been responding to Overwatch calls?” D.Va added. “I’m just worried something bad happened to her…”

“Well, I’m sure everything is ok.” Winston maintained. “If something happened, surely Emily would let us know.”

D.Va’s face formed into a pout. “Can’t you at least send like… A unit or something, to check on her?”

The idea made Winston chuckle. “With the situation in Nepal, our number of available operatives is very scarce. And that’s not even considering the new complication in Lijiang.”

“Fine!” D.Va yelled out, stomping her foot. “If you don’t care about finding Tracer, then I’ll go ahead and find her myself.”

“Alright.” Winston replied nonchalantly. “As long as you don’t use any Overwatch resources.”

D.Va gritted her teeth with anger. It pissed her off how little everyone cared about Tracer’s disappearance, but at this point D.Va couldn’t stand it any longer. With newfound determination, she marched out of the room angrily.

“Oh, and don’t take too long.” Winston added. “We might need you for another operation soon and I don’t want two missing operatives.”

As the doors to his lab closed, the gorilla grabbed another jar of peanut butter and popped it open.

 Deep inside an apartment complex in London, D.Va stood before one of the apartment door. She stared back and forth at the apartment number plate and the information on her phone, wanting to be totally sure they matched. According to the Overwatch database (which she got access to through totally legitimate means), this was Tracer’s apartment. If she wanted to get answers about her whereabouts, this was the first place to go.

She knocked on the door with strength, as a sigh unwittingly escaping from her mouth. She had to admit, she was a bit nervous about this. She was worried about Tracer’s disappearance, of course, but she was even more nervous about getting to see her again, and also getting to see her apartment, a bit of her private life…

But even then, all of those were crushed by the intense anxiety she had from the possibility of meeting Tracer’s girlfriend. D.Va had heard plenty about Emily, but she had never even seen the girl. It made her wonder, what kind of girl was Tracer attracted to? Was she more into the lean beautiful girls, or the cute petite ones? If it was Tracer, her girlfriend had to be just absolutely spectacular. No one short of amazing should even deserve to have the chance at dating Tracer. In all honesty, it put a lot of fear into D.Va… That Emily would be spectacular that she would put her to shame.

Unfortunatly, D.Va didn’t have too much time to dwell on the subject, as she heard the door knob shaking. This was it! She straightened up, looking forward with a determined but nervous expression. She was finally going to see Tracer. Or maybe even her girlfriend! She clutched her heart tightly, waiting as the door slowly opened to reveal…

“Hi, how may I help you?”

As soon as D.Va saw what popped out from the door, her jaw dropped. She couldn’t believe what she was seeing, she had to blink a few times just to make sure it was real, that she wasn’t hallucinating. In front of her, was a person with a beautiful lady’s head, but a gross fat man’s body. She (He?) was wearing a dirty white tank top with jeans, and D.Va could even swear she had a bulge.

“Yes?” The person asked again.

D.Va blinked once, shaking her head as she realized she was lost in thought. “Oh- Um- Are you by any chance Emily?”

The girl (?) nodded with a smile. “Yes, that’s me.”

D.Va cleared her throat, still having a hard time taking in what she was seeing. “Right. Well, I’m Hana Song, codename D.Va, and I’m with Overwatch. I just came over here because-”

“Oh, so you’re one of Lena’s Overwatch friends?” Emily beamed happily. “Oh my! Please come in. A friend of Lena’s is a friend of mine.”

Before D.Va could even protest, she was quickly dragged inside the apartment by Emily, who packed an unexpected amount of force. Walking into the living room, D.Va inspected her surroundings. The apartment was one of those high-class expensive houses. Though it was a bit disorganized, it still looked far better than D.Va’s room at Gibraltar.

“Pardon the mess~ I was just going to start cleaning this week.” Emily added. “Now, just make yourself at home. And excuse me while I bring out some snacks.”

“Oh, that’s not-” But D.Va was too late to stop them, Emily was already gone.

A large sigh escaped through D.Va’s mouth. She scurried over to a nearby couch and slumped onto it. Ugh… It looked fine, but there was something sticky all over it. It was a bit annoying, but D.Va couldn’t bring herself to care enough to stand up from it. No, there was something much more important that was bothering D.Va. A single very pertinent question that clogged her mind.

Why? Why was Tracer dating this… This thing? Tracer had to be the most beautiful girl in the world- no, in existence. She could get any guy or girl she wanted, so why had she chosen this monster? They were fat, gross, and were it not for the pretty lady face they would be ugly. And what was it with their body? Were they a girl or a boy? Tracer had always called Emily her girlfriend, but their body looked more at home under the head of a fat man. It was quite comical how badly they didn’t match.

“Alright~ Here you are.” Emily said joyfully, returning with the same grinding smile she bore when D.Va first saw her.

With a feminine grace (that looked odd on their masculine body), Emily placed a plate with two pieces of pizza on the table in front of D.Va. She looked at the piping hot slices with bewilderment. Who offered pizza as a snack? Maybe that’s why they were so fat…

“Don’t be shy.” Emily sang happily. “Go ahead and have some.”

“Oh no, I’m fine.” D.Va responded, not quite in the mood to enjoy pizza.

“Oh please. I insist!” Emily continued. “I would be so upset if I hosted one of Lena’s friends and they didn’t have any food.

If there was some credit D.Va had to give Emily, it had to be how disgustingly sweet they were. The facial expressions and tone they made legitimately made D.Va feel bad about not having any of the pizza Emily offered. Could this be the reason why Tracer was dating them?

“A-Alright.” D.Va complied, not able to fight against Emily’s wishes. “I guess I can have some.”

Reluctantly, D.Va leaned forward and grabbed one of the slices. Hot cheese and grease dripped down from the pizza, which had pieces of sausage and veggies littered about. D.Va brought it close to her mouth and took a bite, slowly chewing to get the flavor until…

A gasp escaped from D.Va’s mouth. This pizza! It was really good! D.Va was a fan of junk food. She just absolutely loved the taste of everything greasy and fatty. Of course, this and her hate for fatness meant that she had to get a lot of exercise to stay fit. But D.Va didn’t mind it. She loved her body and her food too much to give up both.

Moreover, D.Va liked to think herself as a pizza connoisseur. Wherever she went she had to get a taste for the local pizza and see if it was up to par with her tastes. She’d even located the best places to get a good slice in South Korea and Gibraltar, becoming a happy regular customer to a lot of them. But out of all the pizza she’d ever had before, this one had to be the tastiest.

Wasting no time, D.Va quickly devoured the rest of her slice. She let out a delighted groan as the sticky cheese swiveled about in her mouth. It was so tasty, it made her body feel good. Though her happiness wasn’t set to last, for she finished swallowing the rest of the food in her mouth. Her tummy rumbled for more. D.Va’s eyes quickly darted to the next slice. It would be fine if she had the other piece too, right?

Either way, D.Va really didn’t care. She lunged towards the other piece of pizza on the plate and quickly began to eat it up, uncaring about anything else but getting the tasty food into her system. She was so focused of the pizza before her that she didn’t notice as Emily made an eerie sly expression. With a satisfied sigh, D.Va finished eating her slice. She leaned back on the couch, licking her lips happily while she reveled in the godly tasting ambrosia she’d just experienced.

“Wow, that was the best pizza I’d ever had.” D.Va said glowingly. “Did you make it?”

Emily let out a short giggle. “Oh ho, I’m flattered. But no, I didn’t make it. It’s from this new pizza place nearby.”

Of course they didn’t make it. D.Va thought. There was no way this fatso had any redeeming qualities to them.

“Anyways, was there anything you needed today?” Emily asked kindly.

“Oh!” D.Va jumped up in surprise. She’d totally forgotten why she’d come here in the first place. “Yeah, I just wanted to come around because I haven’t heard from Tracer in a while and I- err- the Overwatch team is worried that something might’ve happened to her.”

“Hmmm… I might have an idea to where Tracer is…” Emily responded.

“Really?!” D.Va hopped up from the couch in excitement.

While D.Va was upset about not seeing Tracer for a while and for having met Tracer’s partner, all of her worries were blown away just from the prospect of getting to see Tracer again. It had been so long since D.Va had taken a look at her goddess, she absolutely couldn’t wait to see her body, hear her voice, feel her kindness… Plus, maybe the fact that Emily was fat and gross was a good thing. It just meant that D.Va could steal Tracer away with all the more ease.

“Sure!” Emily assured her. “Just follow me.”

With that, Emily began walking deeper into the apartment, towards the hallway. D.Va gladly followed behind, her heart beating faster and faster from the excitement of meeting Tracer again. The two of them walked to the end of the hall, stopping before the last door. Emily clutched the door handle tightly.

“Here ‘she’ is!” Emily sang out.

As the door opened, D.Va practically burst into the room. She ran up to the bed, seeing a large figure resting upon it and assuming it was her idol. However, the excitement and bliss from seeing Tracer again were soon unable to hold the façade, and the oddities that surrounded D.Va finally began to settle into her mind.

“Ah! D.Va! How nice! It’s been so long since we’ve seen each other.” Tracer called excitedly.

That is, if you could even call that thing laying back against the bedrest Tracer. It certainly had Tracer’s face, but its body was that of a morbidly obese man. Her arms and legs were thick and meaty. Her tremendous protruding belly slumped onto the bed with disregard. And a long veiny cock poked from underneath her gut, flopping onto the bed in its flaccid state. This new ‘Tracer’ just sat there with a dumb smile on her face, holding a slice of pizza in her hand as if nothing was wrong.

The whole thing was… It was... It was fucking disgusting. D.Va’s leg muscles gave out and she quickly fell into a crouch. She put her hand on her mouth, holding in the need to vomit from the horrifying sight. Her goddess… Her angel… Her idol… It had been destroyed. The person she loved and admired the most in the world had been turned into some sort of freak. How could this have happened?

A wave of dizziness overcame D.Va. Was this a nightmare? Or was this some sort of divine punishment? Maybe the countless omnics whose lives she’d ended had finally come to haunt her. Or maybe she had been a horrible person in a previous life. Whatever the reason, something was clear. Tracer as D.Va knew her was gone, replaced by this gross amalgamation that sort of looked like her. And the worst part was that this Tracer didn’t even seem to care about her current state. It infuriated D.Va immensely.

Gathering up all her strength, D.Va slowly pulled herself up and turned towards Tracer. “T-T-Tracer…” She averted her eyes from Tracer’s gaze. D.Va could barely look at Tracer’s new body for too long before feeling intense sorrow. “What- What happened to you?”

Tracer made a bewildered look, taking a bite out of the pizza in her hand. “What do you mean?”

“What do I?” D.Va shook her head in disbelief. Was she being serious? “What do I mean?”

D.Va hopped onto the bed with Tracer, as she began to slowly crawl towards her. “Tracer you’re so fat, greasy and… male now.”

Tracer gave a hearty giggle. “D.Va what are you talking about? I’ve always been a chubby fat guy.”

“What?!” D.Va shook her head vehemently. She stopped right in front of her, staring Tracer up and down as if she wasn’t real. “No… You used to be a lean beautiful lady. But now you’re so… thick.”

The word resonated deeply in D.Va’s head. It sent shivers down her spine, though not the unpleasant kind. The word just felt so powerful and heavy. ‘Thick’. For whatever reason it just stuck to D.Va’s mind, unable to let go. And while she thought about this word, she’d unwittingly started to rub Tracer’s large belly.

“It’s pretty impressive, no?” Tracer asked with a smile. “I’ve been trying to make it bigger, but Emily says I shouldn’t let it get too big.”

However, D.Va didn’t react to a single thing Tracer said, her mind was much too focused on admiring Tracer’s tremendous gut. She kneaded it carefully with her hand, inspecting it closely almost as if she wasn’t sure it was real. How had Tracer gotten such a massive belly in just a few weeks? And why did it feel so soft and smushy. D.Va just wanted to squeeze and grab it all day.

“But honestly, I’m more worried about you D.Va” Tracer continued. “You’re so skinny! Are you sure you’ve been eating enough?”

Tracer extended her arm towards one of the pizza boxes on her bed and pulled out a slice. “Here, have some pizza.”  She put it up to D.Va’s face, finally breaking D.Va from her sudden trance.

The cautionary side of D.Va’s told her not to take a bite. However, her brain was much to dull and dazed at the moment to respond, so Tracer quickly shoved the food into her mouth. And D.Va couldn’t do anything but receive the it. She began chewing the food in her mouth, slowly at first because of her confused state, but as the delicious taste spread throughout her mouth, any thoughts of resistance died out, and D.Va happily gave into the taste of the food she was eating.

“That’s my boy~” Tracer sang happily, bringing the dazzled D.Va closer to him.

He placed her back against his big belly, holding the pizza before her as he hummed a soft melody into her ear. D.Va merely relaxed onto Tracer with a dumb happy expression. She chewed her food excitedly, the sweet taste of pizza flooding her mind, only stopping to swallow and take another bite of the slice Tracer was holding. The taste of pizza was so good, and her surroundings felt so cozy too, D.Va couldn’t help but let all her worries melt away.

Slice after slice, D.Va kept eating more and more pizza, until it finally started to have an effect on her body. A little bump appeared on D.Va’s belly, just a little bit of extra flab that usually wouldn’t be of much concern to anyone. But as D.Va continued consuming more, the bump slowly grew. It expanded in every direction, stretching her jumpsuit as it steadily increased in mass, transforming D.Va’s stomach into a massive bear belly. It wasn’t as large as Tracer’s of course, but it was large enough to put most average men to shame.

A smile crept upon Tracer’s face as he saw this. He put his hand on D.Va’s belly and rubbed it gently, while D.Va continued to eat pizza from Tracer, stuck in a happy dreamland of bliss, completely unaware to the changes in her body. Tracer loved it, he could feel his dick grow erect as D.Va’s body continued to morph. Yes, everything was going swimmingly.

D.Va’s breasts then began to jiggle and shake.  Slowly, the voluminous orbs deflated bit by bit, their skin pulling closer to D.Va’s body. Their round plump shape was replaced by a rugged square one. Their characteristic softness turned into stiff toughness. Her nipples became less sensitive and smaller in size, as her breasts morphed into solid hardened pecs.

The change continued on with her arms. The skinny dainty extremities bulked up in size considerably, getting filled with both muscle and fat. They became large and hefty, but also quite strong. A change which soon also spread onto her legs, going from feeble little sticks to weighty lean slabs of meat. Though they wouldn’t qualify as fit, they were powerful enough to carry a heavy load. And even her hands and feet weren’t spared, for they turned into large imposing appendages that fit well with her new structure.

Soon, hair began sprouting throughout D.Va’s new body. Her legs and arm grew a light coat of it, and armpits became forested with new strands of the stuff. But the worst occurred on her crotch, which became inundated with hundreds of little hairs, running all around her vagina. Sweat and grease began to pour from her pores, which combined with the newfound hair made her stench quite unpleasant. This also transformed her skin from soft and spotless, to rough and coarse.

Finally, D.Va’s whole body began shrinking. Her head, her arms, her legs, everything except her stomach, began shrinking in size. She lost inch after inch of height, pound after pound of weight, until she was no longer the same size as Tracer. No, now Tracer towered over the small D.Va, both in weight in height, being at least a head taller than D.Va, maybe even more.

As D.Va finished eating her final slice of pizza, Tracer looked down at the girl with pride. The bulging body, stretching out D.Va’s tight jumpsuit. The large protruding belly of fat and muscle accompanied by hardened pecs. The bulking arms and legs that were both fat and strong… It was one of the most beautiful bodies Tracer had ever seen, something that could only exist in his imagination.

“Son! Your clothes are so tight now.” Tracer said with feigned surprise. “Why don’t we go ahead and take the off?”

Son? D.Va’s head twirled about in confusion. She wasn’t Tracer’s son… And more than that she wasn’t… a boy? However, even with her inner doubts, D.Va did nothing to stop Tracer from slowly stripping away her clothes, until the two of them were bare naked on the bed. His touch was just so commanding and warm… D.Va enjoyed just being close to him.

Tracer carefully guided his hand down D.Va’s body, from her hardened pecs, through her stuffy belly, until it reached D.Va’s moistened cooch. D.Va’s body bolted upwards, some last warning alarms going off in her head, trying to warn her that something was wrong. But Tracer was too far in, he wasn’t going to fail now.

“Now, now D.Va” He comforted her softly. “Just let Papa take care of you…”

What? That wasn’t right, Tracer wasn’t D.Va’s father. Her father was an asshole who treated her horribly, nothing like Tracer. In fact, Tracer would probably make a much better father. The idea actually kind made her heart flutter. Tracer was so nice and soft, he always treated her with kindness and warmth. Maybe… Maybe it’d be better if he was her father.

In the meantime, Tracer began using his greasy chunky hand to massage D.Va’s womanhood. He slipped a finger or two into her entrance with gentleness, but the main focus of his attention was on D.Va’s clit. He twirled it around with his finger, pulling and pushing it without any compassion. He continued to assault the little nub until it began throbbing fiercely, growing a bright red as it pulsated madly.

A loud pleasured moan escaped through D.Va’s mouth. Her whole body felt like it was on fire, pure lust coursing through her veins. But there was more than that. There, on her crotch, was a burning sensation, an indescribable feeling she’d never experienced before. D.Va turned down towards her crotch and saw it. Within Tracer’s tight fat grip, was D.Va’s clit, though much larger than normal. Not only was it large though, it was actively growing. D.Va could feel it lengthen and thicken around Tracer’s fingers with every passing second.

And God, did it feel amazing. Her clit was so sensitive at this moment, sending thousands of waves of pleasure into her brain with a single touch. Add to that the way Tracer’s squeezed it with meaty greasy fingers, and D.Va felt like she was in heaven. Groan after groan of pleasure kept leaving from her mouth, as her clit continued to grow while it was massaged by Tracer’s hulking hands.

Then, a little stretch of skin began to extend from the base of D.Va’s crotch onto her clit. Tracer watched with a wide grin as her skin continued to grow and expand, covering more and more of D.Va’s enlarged clit until only the tip was left uncovered. But the tip wasn’t spared from the changes, for it began to morph into a more rounded conical shape. A vertical slit grew on the it, finalizing the change of D.Va’s clit into that of a male penis.

Tracer licked his lips as he admired the 8-inch pole. Without pause, he began to pump it up and down with his hand. She was so close to being done… Tracer just absolutely couldn’t wait to finish D.Va’s transformation.

“Mmmmm~ Don’t you love how good your papa makes you feel?” Tracer softly cooed into her ear, jacking off D.Va’s new penis.

Papa… A word that used to bring D.Va some much dread… Now that it was being whispered by Tracer it only filled D.Va with warmth. But… Why did it bring her dread anyways? Tracer had always been an amazing father to her, always making sure she was happy and bringing her pleasure. Of course, hearing the word made her feel warm, it reminded her of her favorite person in the whole wide world!

The warmth that came from Tracer’s big body, the happiness that being with her papa gave her, and the pleasure she was experiencing coming from her clit, all these sensations assaulted D.Va’s minds steadily. With moans escaping from her mouth constantly, drool and tears rolling down her face, and a happy dumb expression, D.Va’s brain could do nothing more but take all the pleasure it was receiving, slowly overloading as more and more came in.

Soon her dick began throbbing, pussy quivering lightly as it spouted vaginal juices. This was it, D.Va couldn’t take much any more than this. She was at her limit, Tracer continued to pump her dick fervently as a sudden pressure pressed against her pussy, slowly pushing and pushing until…

With a loud pop, a whole ballsack popped out of D.Va’s squirming snatch, complete with two full testicles inside. D.Va yelped loudly as she experienced her last female orgasm, for her entire hole was replaced by this new set of balls. Heavy pants left her mouth, relaxing against Tracer’s body as she basked in the overglow of her orgasm. Meanwhile, Tracer looked upon his new creation with pride. This beautiful new D.Va was now one hundred percent male, the only trace of her previous gender being her face.

“So D.Va… Did it feel good?” Tracer asked sweetly.

“Y-Yes! That was amazing.” D.Va answered in-between pants. “I didn’t know my penis could feel so good.”

“Well, since papa went through all this work to make you feel good… Don’t you think it’s time to return the favor?” Tracer’s dick poked against D.Va’s back, fully erect and rearing to go.

A large blush came upon D.Va’s face. “Y-Yes father…”

D.Va slowly stood up and presented his butthole to Tracer. He felt a little bit embarrassed about it, but he also felt extremely aroused, for his own penis was very hard. D.Va just kind of enjoyed the idea of making his father feel good. Mostly because he felt it necessary to pay back all his kindness, but also because just seeing the big fat guy happy made him happy. Tracer was so jolly and nice that D.Va just loved trying to make him happy.

Inching closer to Tracer, D.Va began to lower himself onto Tracer’s lap. He carefully aimed his entrance towards Tracer’s cock, slowly moving it downwards until the rim of his ass met with the tip of Tracer’s dick. D.Va panted heavily. Tracer’s massive python was so large, that it felt a bit intimidating to take in. But more than just intimidated, D.Va felt excited to take in the huge cock. His asshole twitched, penis quivering, he was ready to have his father penetrate him with his large tool.

Now ready to get filled, D.Va began pressing against Tracer’s dick. He pushed himself down more and more, slowly but steadily grinding his body until… POP! With a loud wet smack, D.Va managed to get all of Tracer’s dickhead inside him. The boy moaned loudly in pleasure, feeling the large member begin to enter him, but he wasn’t done. D.Va continued to push his body further and further down, taking in more and more of Tracer’s dick until he was stopped by Tracer’s fat legs, which were so thick they wouldn’t allow him to push himself all the way to the base of Tracer’s cock.

Loud groans of pleasure escaped through D.Va’s mouth as he relaxed on top Tracer’s lap. Most of his whole father’s dong was nestled tightly inside him, and it couldn’t feel any better. D.Va just loved the feeling of having such a massive member in his ass, he could feel Tracer’s loving warmth emanating through it. It was as if he was in heaven, but it wasn’t enough for D.Va, which meant it wasn’t enough for D.Va’s papa.

Determined to make Tracer feel super good, D.Va began lifting his body up and down, grinding up the inner walls of his asshole against Tracer’s massive pole. He grunted and groaned as he worked, putting it as much effort as possible in order to bring pleasure to both himself and his father through his slow and methodical humping.

On his end, Tracer was thoroughly enjoying the feeling of D.Va’s ass squeezing on his dick. D.Va’s boyhole was so much tighter and warmer than Emily’s, it had to be the best thing Tracer had ever had the pleasure of penetrating. The special hole made just for him... But more than that, Tracer enjoyed seeing the amount of effort D.Va was putting to make him feel good. It was clear the boy was working his hardest, his dedication to Tracer very transparent, and that was enough to make Tracer’s penis quiver in delight.

Before long, D.Va’s motions began picking up in speed, becoming faster and stronger as they went on. His groans increased in frequency and intensity, as the noise of loud slapping filled the room There was just this ever-increasing feeling of lust invading his system. The more he pumped his hips, the better it felt, and D.Va wanted to feel good. D.Va’s tongue escaped from his mouth, flopping about against his lips as he continued to hump fervently.

A smile came upon Tracer’s face as he saw this. He began breathing heavily as he felt himself begin to get riled up as well. “Hmmmm~ You like how good papa’s dick feels, don’t you D.Va?” Tracer whispered seductively, pressing his cheek against D.Va’s.

“MMMMMmmmm~ Yes!” D.Va called out. “Your big dick… Feels amazing Tracer!”

“D.Va…” Tracer said, rubbing D.Va’s cheeks with his own. “Haven’t I told you to call me papa?”

D.Va’s dick quivered. “Papa!!” He yelled out in bliss. “Your cock feels so good, Papa!!!~~~”

That’s right. This was his papa’s huge cock he was fucking right now. He was pumping his ass so tirelessly to make him feel good. And that’s all that D.Va ever wanted to do in this world. He wanted to make his papa feel good. That was his mission. If his papa felt good, he felt good. And that pleasure from making his papa feel good and from his papa’s penis was assailing his mind with such intensity… It was all for his papa~~~

“Papa!” D.Va yelled out in excitement, turning to face Tracer. “Kiss me~”

Tracer didn’t need to be told twice. He lunged his face towards D.Va’s and the two began meshing lips together. Their tongues lashed out at each other, sticky wet saliva slopping each of their faces as they shared an intimate kiss, while D.Va continued humping Tracer’s cock.

By this point, Tracer was as riled up as D.Va. Seeing him hump with such determination, yelp out in pleasure, and even call for Tracer was the most exciting thing he’d ever experienced. Add to that the amazing feeling of D.Va’s asshole, and Tracer’s arousal levels were through the roof. Tracer’s penis twitched, her balls ready to blow. He was so close to finishing, but Tracer wanted it to never end. He gripped D.Va’s chest with his left hand tightly, trying to hang on before the finale.

Reaching his limit, D.Va finally parted his lips from Tracer’s, strands of saliva dropping from each of their mouths. “Daddy!!” He sang out in pleasure. “I’m gonna cum~~”

“Me too son…” Tracer grunted. “I’m so… Close”

D.Va licked his lips hungrily. “Daddy! I want it inside me. I want you to fill me up with your baby batter~~~”

This was it, Tracer was at his limit. He couldn’t hold on for much longer, but before he came he wanted to see his son spewing his first load of cum. Thus, he took his left hand and grabbed hold of D.Va’s ballsack tightly, giving it a hearty squeeze. D.Va’s eyes rolled to the back of his head, his tongue spasmed out of his mouth. It was all too much, the mixture of the pleasure, pain, warmth, love… D.Va’s senses were completely overwhelmed, and he couldn’t take any more. His dick began sputtering thick lines of cum, covering himself and the bed with hot sperm.

Seeing this was enough to send Tracer over the edge, and he began to moan loudly. With a look of bliss on his face, Tracer pumped gallon after gallon of cum into D.Va’s ass. His dick quivered madly, continuously inundating D.Va’s cavern with so much seed that it began leaking onto the bed.

A happy sigh left Tracer’s mouth, as he relaxed onto the bed, letting the overglow of orgasm wash over him. He rubbed D.Va’s belly gently, happy to feel his boy’s warmth as the two stuck close together. D.Va for his part, had passed out from the flurry of sensations that attacked his mind, and was quietly resting atop of Tracer’s belly, his father’s dick still nestled inside him.

“Oh my, now that was quite the show.” Emily commented, stepping forward from the corner of the room. He rubbed the large bulge that protruded from his pants. “So, did you enjoy your new pet?”

Tracer gave him a little pout. “Emily! I told you he’s not my pet.” Tracer hugged D.Va tightly. “He’s our son.”

Emily giggled heartily. “Right. Well, did you enjoy your ‘son’?”

“Oh yes!” Tracer exclaimed with glee.  “He’s everything I could have dreamed of. He’s strong, obedient, caring, and most importantly… So chubby~” He said, lovingly rubbing the sleeping D.Va’s belly.

“Well, that’s good.” Emily replied. “I’ve been wanting to get you someone to keep you company while I’m at work.”

“Yeah, thank you so much Emily! I absolutely love him.” Tracer beamed happily. “Honestly, why didn’t you tell me about this transformation stuff before? It’s so amazing!”

“Oh baby, you wouldn’t even know the half of it.” Emily replied with a smirk. “Anyways, now that I got you a new son, how about a reward for your dainty little wife?” Emily asked, as he unbuckled his pants.

Tracer gave a devious smile. “Of course~”

 Emily walked through the halls of his apartment building, heading home after a day of hard work. He’d just started his new job as the head chef of the restaurant with the transformative pizzas, which was quite tiring, especially with his new body. But unlimited access to that pizza made it totally worth it. And more importantly, now that his day was done, he got to relax with his favorite duo of fat men.

He arrived at his apartment’s door and slowly opened it, walking inside with a sigh. As usual, the living room was empty, virtually untouched by anyone else, for no one else but him normally used it. He left his coat on the coat hanger and began walking deeper inside, heading towards the bedroom. Nearing his room, Emily could hear loud voices and sounds resonating through the closed door. A smile crept up on his face. He slowly opened the door to his bedroom, and…

“Dad! Stop moving like that!” Yelped out D.Va. “You’re gonna make me lose.”

Inside the very messy bedroom, sat both Tracer and D.Va, focusing intently on a videogame they were playing on the TV. Tracer sat comfortably on the bed, a wide smile on his face, but D.Va sat on Tracer’s lap with Tracer’s dick shoved deep inside of his ass. The two were so focused on their game that they didn’t notice Emily come in.

“Like, this?” Tracer shook his hips erratically, making D.Va moan out loudly.

“Yes, like that!” D.Va complained angrily, a heavy blush on his face. Though it seems his body wasn’t complaining, cause his dick was plainly erect and aroused at the moment.

“Oh, man! I lost again!” D.Va pouted, throwing the controller to the floor, which was met by laughter from Tracer.

Emily smiled at the scene. At first, he wasn’t sold on this whole ‘son’ thing. But after seeing their cute interactions like this, it truly felt like they had formed a family. Honestly, it kinda made Emily very happy. He’d always wanted a deeper relationship with Tracer, and this whole family thing really made it fulfilling. He continued walking into the room, his penis bulging against his pants in excitement.

“Hmmm~ How are my two favorite boys doing today?” Emily sang out in glee.

“Mom!” “Emily” The two boys responded in kind.

“We were just playing a game.” D.Va explained.

“Whoever wins, gets to fuck the loser in the ass. And I’ve been winning all day.” Tracer added lustily, as he rubbed D.Va’s nipples.

“Yeah, for whatever reason Dad is super good at videogames.” D.Va complained with feign annoyance. Though in reality, he was thoroughly enjoying the way Tracer touched him.

“Is that so?” Emily asked playfully. “That’s weird, cause you’re also very good at videogames Hana! Could it be you’re intentionally losing to make your father happy?”

D.Va looked down at the ground in embarrassment. Of course mom would be the one to figure it out. Emily giggled out happily. “Oh, you’re such a good boy, Hana.” He said lovingly as he patted D.Va’s hair.

“Now, momma’s had a rough day at work…” Emily said, as he unbuckled his pants. “Won’t you do ‘her’ a little favor while you take care of your dad?”

With that, Emily’s penis flopped out of his underwear, completely erect and aroused. D.Va licked his lips in admiration. “Yes, mother.” He dutifully replied, and he began using his tongue to suck up his mother’s erect cock, all while Tracer pumped his dick in and out of D.Va’s ass

Emily looked down at her two boys with pride. This really was a happy family.

Now here’s a little thing I wrote as a sequel to Unhealthy Side Effects of Pizza. I liked bot19999‘s picture so much, that we collaborated to bring around a second version, which you can find here.  This one ended up being pretty long lol. One of the longest I’ve ever written in fact, but I’m happy the way it ended up. With summer wrapping up, this will probably be the last thing I write in a while, so I hope you enjoyed it! Cheers

[todaydreambelieversfic]

Author spotlight: Lilyvandersteen day 5

Last day for @lilyvandersteen Sniff!With the cutest prompt ever!

Day 5: looking forward

A. Pick one or two of your fics. What would canon Klaine think if they read it?

I’d like to think they’d laugh while reading “Stop Flirting!” (and Blaine would say to Kurt: “See? You can be oblivious too”, to which Kurt would reply, rolling his eyes, “Yes, in fanfiction!”) and they’d coo over the Kiddie Klaine fic “Going the Extra Yard” (and Blaine would whisper, “I totally HAVE a bear with a bow tie!” and Kurt would snort and say, “Of course you do…”)

2.    Are you planning to write more Klaine fic? Do you have any currently in progress? Share a quote from an upcoming work!

Oh yes, I have tons of ideas for other fics. I have several WIPs right now: Weave Your Magic, obviously, but also a story featuring a time-travelling Kurt, a D/s fic, a Kurtcedes and Unique fic that was actually @tacogrande’s idea, and a story where Kurt works as Coach Beiste’s assistant, which started out as a short one-shot as a birthday gift for @notthetoothfairy and @skivvysupreme, but insists on becoming a multichapter. Next to the stories I’ve already started, there’s also the Young King Blaine prompt from the Prompt-a-Klainefic blog that has caught my eye, and a pretend relationship Klaine AU I hope to co-write with @hkvoyage, and so many more prompts that tickle my fancy.

An excerpt from “Mine”, the Assistant Coach fic:

“Hey, Coach…”

There was that pain-in-the-neck new kid again, grrr!!

“Yes, Anderson?”

“You get the deciding vote,” the kid continued.

“What?”

“We were comparing our dicks, and voting for the best one. Mine and Sam’s got the most votes, but it’s a tie. So tell us which dick you like best.”

Laughter rang through the locker room again, and Kurt felt steam coming out of his ears, but he tried his hardest not to let it show. Of course they’d guessed he was gay. And of course it was funny to them to see how far they could go, baiting him.

Don’t show them they got to you. You’re better than this. Calm down.

So Kurt slapped on his poker face, gave both Evans and Anderson a quick once-over, quirked an eyebrow and announced, “Mine.”

“Uhm, what?”

“My dick is the best.”

More laughter. Lynn shouted, “Good one, Coach!”, and Puck’s half-brother drawled, “All riiiiight, be proud!!” and held his fist up for a fist bump. Kurt hesitated a moment and then bumped it. Puckerman grinned and then turned around to pull his undershirt on.

That seemed to be the end of the prank. Everyone continued washing themselves or getting dressed. They didn’t seem fazed by Kurt’s presence in the least. Not homophobic then, this lot. Well, that was good to know.

  3.    Do you have any other writing plans you’re willing to share?

You mean original fic? No, not at the moment, sorry.

(note from editor, I meant any non-Klaine fic, is there a new fandom in your life, is there a Quinn/Lauren piece you are thinking of, or original fic :) 

4.    Give our readers a prompt for a Klaine fic you’d like to see!

Oh, I just saw this really great prompt the other day that would make an excellent Klaine fic:

https://lilyvandersteen.tumblr.com/post/160735207134/college-professors-living-together-broke-in-love

Basically, Kurt and Blaine have been best friends forever, but never anything more. They went to college together, sharing a tiny apartment, and then went on to become professors together, still sharing the apartment because they’re not rich enough to rent a bigger one. Everyone thinks they’re married or at least boyfriends, because they always arrive and leave together. But they’re totally platonic, of course, and always wonder why on earth people think they’re dating. Secretly, they’re crushing on each other, and then one day, they drunkenly hook up, and there’s a lot of awkwardness, but eventually a happy ending :)

<3

[icelandicandadelight]

Girlfriend Tag: Lesbian Edition

 @veggiesaurusrex-grrr <<<< My GF! 

1. Describe how you met each other.

I had a Kurt blog like the nerd I am and Cas somehow saw me as something to be intimidated by when I’m ?????? a loser???????? I’m really happy they managed to gather the courage to say hi first <3

2. What did you first notice about each other?

I noticed how awkward they were tbh. They’re still awkward but in a super cute way

3. Who first asked the other out?

Me!!

4. Where was your first date?

Haven’t had it yet but I think it’s just going to be pretty simple and chill. I really love the idea that Cas mentioned when they were answering this <3

5. Who was first to verbally say “I love you”?

I’m pretty sure it was Cas?

6. How did your first kiss happen? Who initiated it?

(haven’t kissed yet :c )

7. When is your anniversary?

September 3rd : >

8. How long have you been together?

Well depends on what you mean with ‘together’ but as in dating it’s just under a month.

9. What made you realize you were in love with her?

Oh man that’s such a loaded question tho…I think what finally made me realize it was when I noticed that I missed them when we didn’t talk for a day, and when I noticed how just seeing a message notification from them can instantly cheer me up.

10. Where you friends before you became lovers?

Heck yeah we’re still friends what you talking?

11. Were either of you out before getting with your girlfriend?

Well I’m out to my friends…that’s it. Cas was out though

12. Have either of you dated a girl before getting with your girlfriend or is she your first?

They are my first girlfriend, I legit haven’t dated anyone before them. Though they had three girlfriends before me

13. How does your girlfriend define her sexuality?

I belive they’re homosexual/panromantic

14. When is your girlfriend’s birthday? Who is older?

I’m older by a few months. Their birthday is August 21st (and I’m a month late with my birthday present I’m so sorry babe!)

15. Do you live together?

Not yet

16. Have you met your girlfriend’s parents? If so, what was that like?

I’ve seen a few pics and video’s on snapchat. They seem kinda sweet

17. How many people are in your girlfriend’s family?

I know they have one sister, I feel like they have more tho, and then there’s their parents.

18. Whose family do you hang out with more?

I mean…i’ve seen more of their family through pics and stuff so I guess theirs?

19. What nationality is your girlfriend?

American!

20 What is a typical date night like for you and your girlfriend?

Watching something nerdy together on rabb.it (mostly young justice tho)

21. How do you usually spend your time together?

Sending memes together, sending each other snapchats of our day, watching things on rabb.it, rping

22. Have you ever been mistaken for sisters?

I don’t think so?

23. Have you ever experienced any discrimination or prejudice becasue you are a same sex couple?

Not really no

24. Does anyone you know disapprove of your relationship?

Nope…but I haven’t told everyone so we’ll see

25, How much PDA do you do?

None yet I think but as soon as we meet that will be fixed!

26. Have you ever been on your periods together?

yup

27. What is your girlfriend’s middle name?

….not sure heh

 28. Who usually pays when you go out to eat?

I feel like we’re gonna do some kinda trade thing when we do go out together? Like I pay this time they pay next time

29. What is your girlfriend’s number labeled as in your cell phone?

Prinsessa <3

30. Do you have any pet names for each other?

I call them princess and babe a lot, and just…cas xD

31. Does your girlfriend have any pets?

THE CUTEST PUPPER!

32. Have you ever worn your girlfriend’s clothes?

No but I wanna!!!

33. Who is more likely to cook a meal?

They are…I will burn anything ever

34. What is your girlfriend’s favorite food? Least favorite food?

Their least favorite food is peppers and favorite food is Mac’n Cheese

35. Who is more likely to cry for no reason?

Honestly I feel like we will both cry for no reason what so ever

36. Can your girlfriend play any musical instruments?

Nope unfortunately. I wanna teach them to play guitar cause I think they’d look cool with one

37. Who is your girlfriend’s favorite musical artist?

Right now I think it’s Marianas Trench

38. What is your girlfriend’s current favorite song?

"Skin and Bones" by Marianas Trench

39. Do you have a couple song?

“Crazy beautiful” by Andy Grammer

40. Do you have a couple name?

My friend wish calls us dweebs does that count?

41. What is your girlfriend’s best physical feature?

Their eeeeyes omggggggg

42. Who is more likely to forget where they put things?

me

43. Which side of the bed do you each sleep on?

All the bed. All of it.

44. Who hogs the blankets/sheets more when sleeping together?

Me. All the blankets for me or no one gets blankets

45. What do you argue/fight about the most?

We don’t??

46. How do you usually get over a argument/fight?

N/A

47. Does your girlfriend have a “look” (i.e. an angry/mad/annoyed stare)? 48. Who is more likely to refuse sex?

They have this super cute closed lip smile which is just my fave thing

49. Does your girlfriend play any sports?

nope

50. Does your girlfriend root for any sports teams?

Don’t think so?

51. Does your girlfriend have any quirky habits?

I know they do but I can’t think when I’m put on the spot ugh

52. Who takes longer getting ready to go somewhere?

They do (so pretty)

53. Who is more likely to remember an important day (i.e. birthday, anniversary, etc.)?

They are

54. What is your girlfriend’s eye color?

Blue/gray

55. What is your girlfriend’s shoe size?

I’m…terrible at guessing tbh

56. What is your girlfriend’s dress size?

I said I’m bad at guessing these things! (also American sizes are awful)

57. What is your girlfriend’s favorite TV show?

Supernatural or Young Justice

58. What is your girlfriend’s favorite movie?

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

59. Who is your girlfriend’s #1 celebrity crush?

They don’t have on I think

60. What is one item on your girlfriend’s bucket list?

To come to Iceland or just meet me in general

61. Who is more likely to utter a curse word?

They utter, I yell it

62. Does your girlfriend prefer coffee or tea?

I wanna say tea

63. Is your girlfriend a morning or a night person?

Night person!

64. Is your girlfriend more likely to save or spend money?

Spend xD

65. Who squashes the bugs?

Neither, rather capture it (I would NEVER squash the bug in front of them you crazy?!)

66. Who’s better at telling when the other is lying?

I don’t lie to them, but I feel like they’d see right through me if I tried

67. What is your girlfriend’s favorite color?

Hmmmm blue I think, maybe red, earthy tones

68. Does your girlfriend collect anything?

Not that I know of? Maybe candles

69. Who is more likely to randomly burst out into a song?

We’ll do broadway worthy duets and no one can stop us

70. Who is more likely to randomly start dancing?

Me (badly)

71. Have you ever taken a vacation together? If so, where to?

No -n-

72. How tall is your girlfriend?

If I remember right they’re like 5’6

73. Is your girlfriend religious at all?

They’re wiccan which is the coolest thing ever

74. Who is more likely to spontaneously be romantic?

Both of us

75. Who’s laugh is cuter?

Theirs

76. Who is the better driver?

i…don’t know?

77. Who is the better singer?

They are

78. Who is the better dancer?

…me I guess? (I’m still pretty bad tho lmao)

79. Who is better at math?

Me?

80. Whose handwriting is better?

They say mine, I think it’s theirs

81. Who has a better sense of humor?

We are equally terrible

82. Who is more likely to sign a card or a note from the both of you?

They are

83. Does your girlfriend smoke?

Yeah

84. Does your girlfriend drink alcohol at all? If so, what is her drink of choice?

Yup! And they will drink whatever I believe

85. Have you ever discussed marriage?

A few times yeah : >

86. Have you ever discussed having children?

Yeh but we don’t really want them so idk what will happen there

87. What is one thing your girlfriend does that you don’t like?

Smoke, doesn’t take care of themselves, other things…

88. Is there anything about your girlfriend you think most people don’t know?

They can’t pronounce Icelandic worth a damn

89. Choose one word to describe your girlfriend. Why that word?

Independent. Because that’s what they are and it’s a quality I really REALLY admire about them

90. Pass on one piece of relationship advice.

Communication is key. Honestly, that is probably the one thing a lot of people get wrong. You gotta be able to talk to your s/o and tell them if something is bothering you or if you really like something about them. If it’s about a good thing or a bad thing, communication is key.