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#GUTS OVER FEAR
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Thank you to all the very lovely loomers who helped me in my hour of need, here is what I settled on for my potential warp
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I will be trying to figure out how to set up Kettricken later this week and would love to drag you all along for that wild ride ^_^
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transjudas · 2 years
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Frank Iero + the fear that people will hear your deepest most personal thoughts and feelings and think you’re “crazy” and walk away. (x, x, x)
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skrunksthatwunk · 3 months
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reread the first 3 volumes of berserk (aka the black swordsman arc) today and started Really paying attention to guts this time and my takeaway is that he is TERRIFIED way more often than i thought. like puck mentions fear in the mix of emotions he's sensing from him but he is truly wide eyed quivering princessmoding his way through a lot of this ordeal
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brown-little-robin · 2 months
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my last week, a visual demonstration
#Robin processes emotions on main#hi yes I came back early. it's in order to process. I needed to like.... spill my guts on the dashboard tonight#IM STRUGGLING..#I have GOT to get a job#just one (1) more visit to a friend this summer and then I will be APPLYING for things again#also I'm having the very devil of a time trying to get myself to contribute to this household. I hate it#I hate that helping out makes me feel like I'm losing my agency—losing myself—like I'm dying every time. I want to be BETTER than this#but I also need to feel like an adult with agency but also I need to BEHAVE like an adult but even just saying that makes me feel nauseous#I need. something. to change. I hate this. I feel selfish and cowardly and I hate feeling selfish and cowardly#I need to . communicate. work something out with my mother so that I stop feeling perpetually behind and ashamed#if I could manage to feel good about chores and not just like I'm scrambling to keep up..... that would..... be... more... motivational#the problem is that I feel unsafe/unstable right now and my instinctive response is to close myself off to all demands#WHICH AS YOU CAN IMAGINE IS NOT CONDUCIVE TO BECOMING MORE STABLE.#demand avoidance makes me bad at contributing to the household AND terrified of applying to jobs and AUGH... AUGH.#I DO BETTER WHEN I LIVE ON MY OWN#living on my own‚ I don't have to deal with the whole soul-crushing horrorshow of negotiating my own emotions about doing chores#chores are GOOD and ENJOYABLE when they're for ME. they're only psychological torture when they're things I do as part of my ''rent''#ok. bedtime. I've sufficiently spilled my dang guts all over the place. it will get better eventually I think#I'm just having a horrible time Right Now#I'll figure this out though dangit#I KNOW the answer is to just Do the stuff and face fears and communicate and whatever I KNOW. but if anyone tells me that I'm going to bite#ok I'm done thank you and sorry to anyone reading this far <3 it really will be all right
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kashilascorner · 3 months
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What were the prose Tristan authors eating for lunch when they wrote Mark and Tristan's dynamics seriously it's so toxic but also like they keep hanging around each other? Toxic exes except family instead of lovers
#has my head spinning#mark hates tristan since he was a child but has a very weird prophecy about him and considers having him killed but decides against it#because he could use tristan when he's older i guess. and then he welcomws tristan with open arms and then they are besties but then he is#envious of him and then he hates his guts because tristan got a girl he liked (not iseult) and then he sends tristan to get iseult#for him as a bride specifically because he thinks tristan will die in ireland but oops he doesn't#he brings iseult mark falls in love but t/i are obviously already getting it going#then mark finds out chases after tristan but tristan is stronger#BUT IN THE MIDDLE OF ALL OF THIS JUST AFTER TRYING TO GET HIM KILLED HE CROWNS TRISTAN THE PRINCE HEIR OF THE KINGDOM??#also tristan starts like loving or being loyal to his uncle until the hot lady incident and then they reconcile and#tristan keeps there and he doesn't protest his uncle's requests including the one rhat could potentially kill him (getting iseult)#because of honor or whatever. and then he could have ran away with iseult but he still choses (and her lol) to go to mark and hand her over#and yet he keeps going with the affair and it is said that Tristan FEARS mark and this is the part that#drives me crazy because... fear what??? he's stronger#the better knight has better friends better luck with the ladies wouldn't be the first time he has to run off to another#country. so rhe question is: is tristan afraid OF MARK or is Tristan afraid of losing the good fame he's been building up#like he's singlehandedly THE cornish knight because they are all useless now if he was in say camelot or ireland would he be so famous#and appreciated? no! he wouldn't stand out as much!! like lancelot is right there!!!!!#so is it that? it suits the character. however there is something extremely intriguing if he is in fact afraid /of mark/#because then the story is more that one of family abuse where the uncle clings onto the nephew because the nephew can't refuse helping#but if you remove that aspect the entire relationship on both sides is absolutely parasytic.#idk what is going on here#prose tristan#arthuriana#laura reads
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no-fxn-club · 4 days
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vile-wizard · 1 month
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I need to clean my room now. It is dire.
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You said you're excited to spend more time on Sur'Kesh in Empire of Preys, and I'm excited for that too! We only got to spend like a minute on Sur'Kesh in canon, and I've always wished that we'd gotten to see more of that world. What do you imagine salarian architecture and design sensibilities as being like? I won't ask you to spoil the story, but I'm curious about any worldbuilding you've done along those lines that you'd like to share!
HELLO!!
Sorry for taking so long to reply to this wonderful ask! I kind of pondered a lot on what to talk about and how much I should talk about; but since you focused on architecture, I think I'll focus on that!
So, in The Empire of Preys, we spend most of our time (barred from one scene that takes place in a more remote city) in the country of Nkoma. What we call country and what salarians call country differs slightly, however: think of it more as an administrative district that exists more for the sake of resource repartition and ease of organization at a medium scale rather than a place, or an identity with strong cultural attachments that would involve nationalism or things like this --this would be much more true for cities (a practice encouraged and mirror by asaris) and clans in general.
There are two main focuses in Nkoma.
The first one is the city of Talat, considered a hotspot of diplomacy (where the administrative body called the Grand Symposium has its seat --basically where the Salarian Union is being ruled), business and tourism that spreads from the remnants of an old volcano all the way to the seaside coast. Its main landmark is a huge water dam used to control the level of the internal lake, assist with irrigation of the agricultural activity spreading around the city, and also partially turned into a luxury hotel. It's also the city that looks the most like the Citadel, Thessia, Armali, and every huge metropolis in the galaxy: it has tons of immigration and is the most overtly capitalist, with the least amount of relics from their past that isn't directly turned into museums.
The second is the city of Leyjung, which is Nkoma's second biggest city (and the biggest focus of the two within the narrative). It is much deeper inlands, deep within the rainforest --it's actually pretty close to the STG quarters that we see ingame (and MAYBE, maybe, we could see it in TEoP as well....)
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It's a very old city with tons of history: it is roughly divided between the old town (tucked inside a valley following a large river) and the newer town that looms over it from the cliffsides. Both towns are riddled with technology; it's just that the old town still preserves a lot of its ocher-based and troglodyte buildings that allows for natural temperature regulation on top of being monuments to the city's past as a huge capital of the (since defunct) phassen empires.
The traditional structure of the salarian clan does not account for individuality. Therefore, the oldest kind of salarian building is the House: a very long building built over generations that try to account for the needs of the clan, a place where every salarian with a clan is always welcomed (but they have, for example, no concept of individual bedrooms; though people with importance within the clan have individual offices). The whole clan very rarely live together all at once; they generally have small individual open rooms that will sustain a dozen of salarians at a time (for example a ton of small kitchens rather than one big room where everybody eats all at once, and no real concept for group meals except for big celebrations). They also include walk-in showers everywhere; the goal is just to let water splash over you for a few seconds to cool off, and you're not even expected to remove your clothes while doing so (they also have communal pools for longer soaks, where public nudity is 100% fine).
Leyjung still has a large number of old clan Houses that have not been repurposed into commercial hubs or broken into smaller apartments like in Talat; most notably, the biggest Linron House is still in use while being considered a remarkable historical artefact as the history of that clan and that town stretch back for at least a thousand years.
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One of the biggest challenges of the architecture of the town is to account for the extreme humidity: the rainforest surrounding and permeating the town is so dense that, twice a day, once at dawn (feshe qer) and then a little after midday (selecat qer), huge clouds of vapor start rising from the surrounding canopy as the air gets more and more suffocating, until it all breaks down into a brief torrential rain that soaks everything back late in the afternoon, and makes the evening and night the most pleasant temperature-wise. It happens... basically every day.
The town's architecture is therefore very concerned with avoiding wind and thunder damage, as well as trying to prevent stagnant water from swamping down the infrastructure. For example, hydrophobic plexiglas is very widely used. A lot of streets meant for pedestrians, especially in the older town, kind of follow this format (sorry for the janky perspectiiiive I'm bad at thiiis)
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Using a lot of non-corroding mesh fence and avoiding to put salarians directly on ground, using a lot of triangular structures to let the rainfall glide to canals that are pushed back to the main river, with a ton of plants to absorb the excess humidity as much as possible and provide some relief from the heat.
The main problem that Leyjung face is: when is modernization too much modernization? What is preserving tradition, and what is refusal to change? What's opposition to galactic gentrification, and what is straight-up xenophobia? What's power to the individual VS what is the destruction of the collective?
Let's have Elections about it, maybe!! Surely that will solve everything!!
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rineedagger · 7 months
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dutybcrne · 7 months
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Kaeya is rather touch averse, cringing away from casual contact people give him under the guise of being distracted or idle movement. He's used to it, the Ragnvindrs and Adenlinde got him used to frequent affectionate physical contact, but it can still be entirely Uncomfortable if he's touched by someone outside those he is close to or someone he's otherwise Allowed to touch him.
#hc; kaeya#//Mentioned before; but am Elaborating on other aspects since Aven get brain juices flowing for this#//Unlike Aven; he's FAR more tolerable of people who touch him unprompted. & more willing to indulge for himself outside his comfort people#//Unless he himself had actively given the indication he doesn't want it; in that case THEN he's likely to anger & retaliate#//But yeah; his response is usually Discomfort & trying to get away from it one way or another. Can tolerate it to appear friendly; sure#//But would rather not want people to touch him so easily. Is decently okay with brief touches tho; like shoulder pats or the like#//Will actively lean into it & encourage further touching ONLY as a means to an end; adjusting any wandering hands only when going too far#//Esp if he can use that like a carrot on a string–if they concede to what he wants; they can touch him more. Maybe MORE than just that too#//He won't initiate any touch unless he deems it Absolutely Necessary; WILL internally scream if they Immediately reciprocate the contact#//Uses it as a 'reward' sometimes; a little pinch of the cheek; a hug; getting right into their space; if he sees they'll react favorably#//Maybe more if they have connection enough; like Huffman or one of his longer-running liaisons. Is p ok w/ sleeping w/ them as reward#//Sometimes he forgets some people don't like that he does this; like Rosie. Tries the tactic to get a favor then Remembers#//Absolutely apologizes; feels mortified when she scrutinizes him for it. Esp since she'd be one of few ppl who KNOWS just how Averse he is#to it in the first place. Him slipping up like that in front of HER is smth he'd STRESS over. She could hold over his head for all he knows#//How can he even joke abt it? Worse if she asks abt his way of doing things or indicate she doesnt Like that he uses himself as bait#//Has absolutely accidentally tried to seduce/bait sb like that who he absolutely should Not have. Like Jean. Ended up playing it off like#a joke between friends; but damn near had a panic attack from the guilt the moment he was safely in his office. bc Jean is SPECIAL to him#could he treat her like THAT? How could he almost let her SEE that side of him? His casual charm and facade are ONE thing#//But him actively doing something like THAT; esp for Jean of all people; is COMPLETELY off-limits; no matter his feelings#//Actually; especially BC he harbors feelings for her. Ppl like Lisa on the other hand; he is VERY comfortable doing this with/to#//She GETS the flirty habit & dishes it back without losing image of him in the way someone he regards at Jean's level possibly could#//And as far as Lisa knows; it's Only a playful habit; not a means to an end. The ones who prolly Know might be certain folks in the church#//But that's just bc he gets frequent checkups after every lil Rendezvous of his. Which is why he's got dirt on Every Single Person There#//Except Barbara; but he absolutely makes SURE she's not the one he's dealing with whenever he goes. Wants to spare her his messes#//Damn; veered a little but it's alright. 'A little'; HA. Nah; my tags are but the cluttered corkboard of my thoughts jhdbfjdf#//Diluc; Addie & Jean are the people he most Fears finding out abt his methods. Doesnt wanna THINK abt how they'd feel/regard him after tha#//Knows for SURE it'd be painful if the way they treat him changes even a SLIGHT. ESP Addie; he can bear the other two; but Addie???#//Nah; he'd be fucken DEVASTATED. That's the ONE person he knows hold true unwavering unconditional love for him; no matter what#//To do anything to damage that? He'd be so fucken GUTTED. He expects everyone to get fed up with/disdain him at some point. But not HER#//Keeps this shit on the down low by always having dirt on the people he gets Involved with; if not using keeping it up as an incentive
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bunny-heels · 7 months
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kinda tempted to try and make some sort of space for people who enjoy gore who aren't weirdos
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tmae3114 · 2 years
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Sometimes I think about the dynamic between the MQ Hero and the Mysterious Stranger because it’s just so fun. The way the hero knows that the Mysterious Stranger is Up To No Good but has no proof and ends up helping anyways because ultimately these are problems needing solved. The no-nonsense attitude the hero takes with the sheer I’ll help fix this mess but this conversation is Not Over energy every time they talk. The immense knife cat energy the Mysterious Stranger exudes in every conversation. There’s something almost playful to it, in a way
And I wonder
Zorbak tells us that the Shadowscythe weren’t directly affected by the Reset the way the rest of reality was, so we can deduce that the Mysterious Stranger wasn’t affected either
Do you think the Mysterious Stranger ever missed the pre-Reset dynamic? The errand running, the deliberate sneakiness, the banter?
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beecampbell · 9 months
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my absolute worst red flag is that feeling of disgust that shakes through me whenever i find out someone is a christian and i think ill keep waving it
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homosociallyyours · 1 year
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(cw for gun violence & racism mentions in tag post)
#was reading about the kid who got shot for ringing a white man's door bell#and feeling so angry bc i can't help thinking that white cultural demands perfection from black victims#oh a kid got shot? how were his grades? what extracurriculars did he do?#i would be just as sad and angry about this shit if this boy was a high school dropout#i would feel like screaming even if he had been ringing door bells as a prank instead of trying to pick up his siblings#i want to live in a world where children don't get shot#where white people aren't ruled by the irrational fear of black and brown people that's been taught since this country was colonized#and as always I'm sitting here looking at the situation & knowing that my whiteness keeps me at a distance from being like the victim here#as much as it repulses me to think about it-- i know I'm closer to the shooter#so many years of watching this violence unfold again and again is like staring at your guts spilling out of you#viscera and mess and rot all spilling out.#and just when you start to think you've made progress cleaning it up it all explodes out again#ugh.#sorry for the imagery it's just. this kid shouldn't have been shot and neither should trayvon martin or mike brown#or the countless others who have been turned into cardboard cutouts with lists of achievements and names we're supposed to keep saying#over and fucking over#i don't want to say any more names. bc i don't want there to BE anymore.#sorry i just had to get that all out
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pinkfey · 2 years
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one of the neighbors called the police on my brother bc he’s been yelling at my parents outside for the past half hour
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labyrynth · 2 years
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wwx stan/jgy anti salt shh
i just think it’s SO funny when ppl are like “umm wwx is NOTHING like jgy bc wwx is Moral and Good and Kind and Just whereas jgy is Evil and Greedy and Power Hungry and Selfish. wwx ONLY ever did what he thought was RIGHT and JUST!!! jgy MURDERED his father AND his sworn brother AND all of those innocent women!! wwx would NEVER!!!”
uhhh except that wwx would. bc he did.
like are we forgetting the whole mutilation and torture and “feeding a guy his own flesh” thing or are we just ignoring it?
like okay we’ll put that aside. are we forgetting the whole “intentionally and gleefully torturing hundreds to thousands of enemy cultivators to death” thing or are we ignoring that too?
okay fine. we’ll put that aside too.
what about the whole “intentionally and gleefully torturing potentially hundreds of non-combatant wens and others tangentially affiliated with them who may have been caught up in the war” thing? are we ignoring that too?
yeah that’s the funny thing about military bases is that actually, there tends to be a lot of non-combatants there too. you know, doctors, servants, prostitutes, etc. all i’m saying is that wwx wasn’t exactly discerning when he was on his happy fun torture joyride.
(it’s ok tho we all make bad decisions sometimes. unless you’re the son of a whore. in which case you’re just evil. uwu)
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