#Gelatin sticks

[rightnewshindi]

रामेश्वरम कैफे में ब्लास्ट के बाद सर्चिंग में मिलीं जिलेटिन की छड़ें-डेटोनेटर्स, अलर्ट मोड पर पुलिस

रामेश्वरम कैफे में ब्लास्ट के बाद सर्चिंग में मिलीं जिलेटिन की छड़ें-डेटोनेटर्स, अलर्ट मोड पर पुलिस

Bangluru News: बेंगलुरु के रामेश्वरम कैफे में ब्लास्ट के बाद पुलिस ने गश्ती बढ़ा दी है. इस दौरान अब सर्चिंग के दौरान पुलिस को जिलेटिन की छड़ें और डेटोनेटर्स मिले हैं. पुलिस ने विस्फोटक सामग्री जब्त कर इस मामले में एफआईआर दर्ज कर ली है. पुलिस के मुताबिक घटना 17 मार्च की है. बेलंदूर पुलिस स्टेशन के पीएसआई रेवन्ना सिद्दप्पा गश्त कर रहे थे. इस दौरान ही उन्होंने देखा कि चिक्कनायकनहल्ली प्राक्रिया…

[reddawnmultimuse]

Sure you could stick a dick in that chest mouth, or you can stick that mouth's tongue in any hole it wants.

"Excuse me, but I am not sticking that tongue in any hole and I am not letting anyone stick their dick in my chest mouth because that is where my HEART is!"

[fandyjam]

quick shitty mspaint doodles of my jam hand headcanons. handcanons?

[after-witch]

Ragdoll [Yandere Mahito x Reader]

Title: Ragdoll [Yandere Mahito x Reader]

Synopsis: Your back hurts and Mahito fixes it for you. inspired by snatches of conversation with @absolute-flaming-trash as so many Mahito things are!

Word count: 500ish

notes: yandere, kidnapped reader, body modification

“Well? How does it feel?” Mahito asks, and whenever Mahito asks, you are bound to consider the answer. Whether or not you actually give it depends on the day and time and how much you’re willing to endure.

You’re… Weightless. That’s what you feel–no, no, no. That’s wrong. Not weightless. There is weight to you. You are not some candy floss being tossed in the wind by a child uncaring of the time spent crafting it, hot metal bowls and spinning sticks and carpal tunnel from too many summers on a carnival job.

You have weight, but it is thick and slimy and moveable, like a glob of remorseless slime built up in a forgotten bathroom sink. Or something heavier, filled with beans or sand or stuffing.

A doll, maybe? Oh, yes.

A doll. A ragdoll. The kind your grandparents gifted you when you were little, because it’s what they grew up with on the dusty old farm, and your parents cooed over her yarn hair and homespun look.

But you shoved her onto the decorative chair in the corner of your bedroom and never played with her because you wanted something chic and fun, a doll with brushable hair and clothes that came off. 

Now you’re stuck in that corner chair, or you would be, except Mahito wants to play with you. Likes to play with you. Likes to hold you, like he’s doing now, humming and holding out one hand so all of your weight slides to one side and the only thing keeping you upright is the grip of his fingers.

Then flopping you to the other side, and doing it again, and again. Then holding you close and down, like he’s dipping you in a dance. 

He could let you go and you’d fall, a heap, onto the floor. Would it hurt? Maybe the rest of you would.

But not your back. Not your spine. He replaced it all with gelatin or goo or slime or whatever he’d decided upon, after you’d begged and begged and begged. Chronic back pain was a bitch. Chronic back pain when you were sleeping on floors and hammocks was bitchier. 

“It hurts so much. I can’t stand it. Please, please, please.”

And he’d tickled his fingers up your back–it hurt, too–and smiled down.

“You really want me to fix you?”

And you did, and he did, and here you are now.

Weighty and weightless all the same, his pretty ragdoll. 

Only he can brush your hair and change your clothes and maybe that will keep him from shoving you into the corner and forgetting about you. 

The thought is too far back to be anything more than a gnat you’ll swat when it comes closer, though. Because your spine is jello, sure, sure, sure. But it doesn’t hurt. And you can’t strain a ligament or herniate a disc when there’s nothing there to hurt, can you? 

It doesn’t hurt, for once, and that’s enough.

Mahito drops you low, again, catching you before your head smacks against the concrete.

He smiles. 

So do you.

[carionto]

Hardcore Space Parkour

Some Humans are worryingly agile. And stupidly driven to endanger themselves. For no reason we can understand.

________________________

Within the Coalition governing station of the segment of the Galaxy where the Sol system is are countless embassies for each member civilization. Each is designed to accommodate their respective species (or multiple in certain cases) to the fullest while also being able to host guests from any other member.

Then there are the communal areas, set for a galactic standard that is viable for the majority - gravity at 0.6 Earth, far less of that dangerous oxygen, and slightly more humid and cooler than what Humans are normally comfortable with. In fact, Humans technically fall outside the Galactic standards and are all equipped with a partial breathing assistance unit and pressurized clothing to stimulate their circulation. While they can function reasonably well despite what we assumed would be too draining without assistance, most Humans do make use of these gadgets.

Some, however, prefer to "stimulate" themselves a bit differently.

There is a small group of individual Humans many have dubbed "Leaping Cortix" after an infamous invasive fuzzy gelatinous centipede-like pest species that always manages to make a hive on any sufficiently large space station or vessel given enough time. Everybody swears they're some kind of magic, and it's hard to dissuade such a notion when there are fairly common reports of ships on deep isolation missions, without making contact with anyone or anything else for years at a time, still one day find themselves with a pack of Cortix skittering about near their nutrition supplies!

This group of Humans, found the title amusing and have embraced it. One of them even made a hooded sweater with the name and a stylized Cortix jumping off the letter x.

The reason for the name is simple - despite becoming integrated into the Coalition just around a year ago, Humans seem to appear everywhere within this segment of the Galaxy. Mostly in small groups for tourism reasons, but the point still stands. And these Humans in particular appear to make it a habit to appear out of the most unexpected places.

The leaping portion comes from how this group tends to move around the communal areas. Most Humans adapt to the lower gravity and eventually (rather quickly actually) change how they move around when outside their embassy - the movements seem more relaxed, fluid, some even appear to exert almost no effort at all in their steps. This group on the other hand utilizes the full force of their incredibly dense musculature.

First, they jump good. Real good. Then they bounce and pivot, real fast. After a few days they started a game - get to any place without touching the floor. Not even a day later they managed to always be in the air.

At first it was impressive and quite mesmerizing. Quite a sight to behold as they got better and quicker at chaining their jumps and bounds together into one smooth motion that took them from one part of the station to the other in mere moments.

Then they started getting bored. And one of them had an idea. An "awesome" idea.

Add flying robots and moving obstacles.

Chaos ensued. Naturally.

As the Humans leapt off of one of the maintenance machines they programmed to hover between several distant structures, it could not compensate for the sudden recoil from the movement and crashed down on the floor. Thankfully it was above a small garden and only some artificial plants were damaged, as well as itself, but that was enough to call in the peacekeeping units to put a halt to their antics.

We deliberately brought a Human peacekeeper along to make the reprimand stick. The Leaping Cortix, most of whom are junior staffers and one is a retired military veteran now serving as a consultant, looked ashamed, but also sad. At least they seemed to understand the gravity of the situation (though perhaps not as well as the physics of gravity) as the wreckage was cleared in clear sight of everyone.

After the offending member was issued a token fine (as it was their first offense), the group as a whole became less active. Initially, most people felt relieved, but as the incident grew more distant in memory, the sight of the flying Humans started to become missed by quite a few.

Some from the more physically able races were even inspired to try this "parkour" the Humans had demonstrated and found it quite thrilling. When done in a lower than their normal gravity that is. Trying it at their standard caused a few broken bones and cracked shells.

There is currently a petition by the permanent residents to dedicate a large open indoor field for such extreme physical sports as well as to commission the design of a variety of machines to facilitate, as written in the official documentation - "stimulating courses to improve the physical well being and readiness of all participants".

I.E. - Humans introduced a new sport to us and many are hooked.

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

how about that uhhhhh Fantasy Julie. she gets her sword <3 no one can take it from her <3

rambles:

SIKE you get an extra, lower quality doodle

SIKE AGAIN here's the rambles

yeah... i caved and gave her a tail... I'm Not Sorry! it's cute! i wanted to stick with her sorta flower motif - it's stronger in her princess look, since I imagine that when she was part of the royals she was very blatantly flower power based. it was her Thing!

but a Julie free of her noble shackles... she deserves her big sword. like yeah, she has flower magic, but who needs it when she has a Giant Blade??? on the royalty vein, and if we're classifying "rainbow monster" as a species, i feel like horn size/curve would be a status symbol of some kind. maybe Julie would have kept her horns filed short. but if she ran away from that life... longer horns! i like to imagine that they'll keep growing until she has a pair of Extra Weapons attached to her head! curved forward like mammoth tusks maybe!

i imagine that like Frank, she goes with minimal armor - range of movement over protection, yk? some scale mail over her front, a thick leather flower over her chest w/ scalloped leather pauldrons, wrist armor and metal knuckles! i'd think that the faux-suspenders include a back sheath for her sword... i wish i'd thought of that Before i finished the little ref! i don't feel like going back and editing!

i imagine that she was forced to cut her hair when it got caught in something (a gelatinous cube, mayhaps). it didn't look good! don't let anime and Mulan fool you! cutting your own hair with a blade will not look nice! but someone - Eddie, probably, he's good with scissors i'd assume - cleaned it up for her. and hey, it didn't look bad! plus, Julie probably liked being able to just tuck up her long strands into her hat when she's feeling a bit more like a Julius than a Julie!

it's been a fun challenge transforming their canon outfits into a similar variation with fantasy flavoring and twists! i want them to suit the setting but still maintain Themselves! Julie's was tough i gotta admit. i was messing around with the princess look and the fighter look side-by-side. it worked better when i sat back and thought "fighter Julie is Julie unrestrained. that version would be more aligned with her canon look"

i wanted her princess form to look Restrained! she has to be a ~delicate flower~, a noble woman, pristine and poised and very much a princess. soft colors, poofy clothing, bright white gloves that are not to be sullied. carefully bundled up hair! jewelry! that dress must be Heavy and hard to move in! her tail must be so cramped under there!

but Julie Unleashed? violent pinks! rose gold accents! short skirt so that she can sprint and Kick! fun boots that she can be active in and delight in watching them get dirty! her hair is free to whip in the wind and get caught in things! fun straps and Deadly Accessories! a sword that she stole from the royal armory on her way out the window! she has forearm wraps both to match Frank and to support her wrists!

[bestanimal]

Round 1 - Phylum Cnidaria

(Sources - 1, 2, 3, 4)

Cnidaria is a phylum of aquatic animals which includes the Anthozoans (sea anemones, corals, sea pens), the Scyphozoans ( true jellies), the Cubozoans (box jellies), the Hydrozoans (a diverse group ranging from Hydras to the colonial Portuguese Man O’ War), the Staurozoans (eight-tentacled cnidarians that cling to seaweeds and rocks), and the parasitic Myxozoans and Polypodiozoans.

Cnidarians are identified by a decentralized nervous system distributed throughout a gelatinous body, and specialized explosive stinging cells, called cnidocytes, on ejectable flagella (“tentacles”) which are used to envenomate prey ranging from plankton to animals several times larger than themselves. Their bodies consist of a jelly-like substance called mesoglea sandwiched between two thin cell layers. Cnidarians are some of the only animals that can reproduce both sexually and asexually.

Many species of Cnidarian are actually groups of polyps, called zooids, clustered together to form one collonial organism. Corals, the Man O’ War, and Siphonophores are examples of this.

Propaganda below the cut:

Corals support 25% of all ocean life

Reefs are formed when coral polyps group together and produce a skeleton of calcium carbonate at their bases. They do this to form a platform that allows them to better stick together.

In a relationship that dates back to the Triassic, the symbiotic algae that live within corals gives them their colors, as well as creates nutrients for both organisms

Corals are facing a mass extinction due to climate change

While anemones are mainly sessile, usually staying in one place for weeks to months at a time, they can creep along on their bases at a speed too slow to be seen with the naked eye. However, some species can move or “swim” quickly in a pinch. Gonactinia can crawl like an inchworm, Paranthus rapiformis can curl into a ball and roll around, and Stomphia coccinea can swim by flexing its column. They just look really silly doing so.

Anemones are predators, stinging prey and pulling it into their mouth with their tentacles. They can eat animals as large as crabs, mollusks, and even small fish. However, some fish and invertebrates have a symbiotic relationship with anemones. Immune to the anemone’s venom, these animals utilize it as shelter while keeping it clean and providing it with nutrients from their feces. Some hermit crabs even carry anemones on their shells, providing the anemone with quick transport to new areas in return for protection.

Box Jellies have simple eyes, are capable of pursuing and reacting to prey behavior, and some species are some of the most deadly animals in the world.

The Lion’s Mane Jelly (Cyanea capillata) is one of the largest jellyfish, with the largest recorded specimen having a bell width of 210 cm (7 ft) and tentacles around 36.6 m (120 ft) long.

The Lion’s Mane Jelly is also the favorite food of Leatherback Sea Turtles.

A rise in jellyfish population can signify ecosystem collapse

The Giant Siphonophore (Praya dubia) is a collonial Hydrozoan that can get up to 50 m (160 ft) long, rivaling the Blue Whale in length.

Some Cnidarians can “hear” via vibrations, and some can even produce sounds to communicate

Many Cnidarians are bioluminescent

[aayakashii]

Hello I just read your whole master list and in dire need for more. Would it be okay to ask for more yandere ren head cannons? Thanks

Warnings: NSFW !!! NSFT !!! MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !!! EXPLICIT CONTENT !!! Pervert!Ren !!!

If this makes you uncomfortable, please avoid reading! <3 your safety first, always! This isn't proof-read, so please forgive any grammar mistakes!

pink

Ren's nostrils flared open as he positioned the box on top of his bed.

How he managed to sneak it past Haru's prying eyes was beyond him, but he just chalked it up to yet another sign from the Universe that what he was doing was absolutely okay and that there was no need for him to feel guilty at all.

The box cutter opened the box's lid seamlessly and he gulped at the sight of what was inside.

A pink fleshlight.

Ren's fingers trembled as he reached out to pull it from the mess of bubble wrap and his whole body shivered when he touched the material – firm on the outside, gelatinous on the inside.

That was going to be wrapped around his cock very very soon and his mouth was watering at the thought.

Ren quickly checked the lock on his door, then the ones on his window. He closed his curtain, leaving only the low light from his bedside lamp on. He was determined to make this session count, because he had no idea when Haru would ever allow him to be free enough to do something like that.

He sat on the floor, on top of a large towel, fleshlight and lube ready right beside him. But that's not all that he needed.

He opened the drawer on his bedside table and, after a little bit of rummaging through all the things he carefully placed there to keep his treasure hidden, he finally fished it out.

Your panties.

Ren's lips quivered with a maniacal smile at the feeling of the soft fabric on his fingers and he wasted no time shoving it on his face, drowning himself in your delicious musk. 

Ah… he already had a raging boner and he didn't even need to imagine himself bending you against the diner's table at all… That was fast...

Keeping your precious panties in his firm grasp, Ren grabbed the bottle of lube, dropping thick globs of it onto his cock and into the fleshlight.

His fingers pushed inside the hole, spreading the viscous substance inside and he couldn't help but drool, imagining his fingers inside you, spreading and preparing you for his length.

Ren wasn't one to care much about things such as his cock size, but he knew he wasn't a little thing. He wasn't very girthy, but he was long and that would work perfectly for whenever he finally pushed himself inside your tight little hole – he wanted to go as deep as he could, rearrange your guts until they were the very shape of him.

He placed the flashlight on the top of his reddened tip, pushing slowly as the gooey walls of the toy squeezed him tightly. He threw his head back, trying to stifle a groan, but his other hand still grasped your panties, and your scent made him moan even louder than he expected.

He swallowed hard after a moment of silence, just to check whether or not someone would come to check on him. He pushed the toy down further, the lewd squelch of his cock spreading the toy sending jolts of pleasure down his spine.

He began thrusting his hip upwards, following the motion of his hands, barely registering how sticky his hands were getting with all the slick that dripped down from the toy mixed with his precum.

Shit. It felt so good. So so good.

How would your hole feel then?

He'd bet it would be tighter around his cock. You would squeeze him like you were trying to milk him dry. It would be so perfect.

He'd bet you would smell so so good, all wet with the scent of sex sticking on your sweaty skin.

He wanted to grab handfuls of your ass and pound mercilessly onto your poor fragile human body, he wanted to fuck into you hard and fast and fill you up with his cum until it dripped down the bed and his balls would slap hard against your ass, making you moan and moan and moan and–

Oh. Fuck. He already came?

Ren's breath was haggard, and his lips were chapped. He licked them as he watched his jizz drip from the pink fleshlight.

If only it was dripping down from you…

He clicked his tongue.

He was still hard. And angry. He wanted you there. He needed to fuck you. Desperately.

But he couldn't. At least not yet. Not when he wasn't able to safely steal you away from everybody and all those assholes that hogged your attention every day.

Through his foggy mind, Ren had an idea. After ten long, hard minutes, he managed to have a makeshift fuck doll in front of him – it was just his fleshlight tucked tightly inside a rolled duvet, but it would have to do. He needed to pound into something, to buck his hips while he imagined you spread open wide and willing for him and he didn't have a doll. Maybe that would be something else to add to his cart.

Again, he pictured you as his fingers pushed the lube into the doll, but he was too impatient. He needed to cum again, otherwise he'd go absolutely insane.

Ren threw his head back, groaning guturally as he pushed himself into the toy in just one thrust.

He felt like he was a dog in heat as he began pounding hard and fast, mouth agape with drool spilling from the side of his lips and eyes half lidded, as he pictured your face twisting in pleasure.

His dick would piston into your gummy walls so fast and so good, he just knew he would melt into your body. He knew he would have to go for way too many rounds because just seeing you naked in front of him would make him cum hard.

The only thing that kept him from fully deluding himself that he was fucking hard into you was the fact that the duvet muffled the sound of his hips slapping against the toy. In his perfect mind world, his sticky skin would slap loud against yours, strings of his cum and yours stretching between your bodies, so dirty and so so wrong.

But oh how he needed you.

His thrusts faltered, messing up the maddening rhythm he kept up, before hips stuttered. His ass clenched tightly as he came hard once again, fingers digging deep into the duvet – if only it was your skin so he could leave pretty marks and tender spots on you.

Ren fell down onto the duvet, cock softening inside the toy, and he panted, blinking away the sweat drops that ran from his forehead to his eyes.

That felt amazing, but the clarity made him realize something he had been mostly avoiding ever since he met you.

He rubbed your panties onto his face once again, inhaling deeply.

His imagination only served to frustrate him further. He needed to have you. He had to snatch you away from everything and everyone that kept you away from him.

He had to make you his. Once and for all.

Author's note: Sooooo haha. Heyyyy *twirling my hair on my fingers* Listen, I've been reading way too much smut in order to get inspired to finish my Leo fanfic and to learn how to write properly for it, so I just had to practice okay??? Now have this *throws the sticky pervert Ren towards you like that eminem meme*

[slavic-roots-western-mind]

Chinese Desserts

There's quite a large variety of treats and desserts in China (more than you can imagine), so here are some of the most common ones!

Almond jelly/tofu - 杏仁豆腐 - xìngréndòufu Despite the name, almond jelly doesn't actually have almonds in it. Almond jelly is made from gelatin and almond milk, although some recepies use dairy milk instead.

Glutinous rice balls - 汤圆 - tāngyuán These rice balls are made from glutinous rice balls with a sweet filling, such as red bean paste (a pretty popular filling in desserts, I've been fooled more than once when purchasing what I assumed to be a chocolate filled pastry).

Red bean buns - 豆沙包 - dòushābāo One of my favorite desserts so far. These are steamed buns with a sweet red bean paste filling that I'd definitely recommend.

Egg custard bun - 流沙包 - liúshābāo A sweet and savory bun, with a lava-like egg yolk filling. A pretty interesting dessert, as it's both sweet and savory.

Pumpkin cake - 南瓜饼 - nánguābǐng I haven't tried this yet, but it definitely looks good. A fried and crunchy cake with a sweet filling such as red bean paste.

Eight treasure rice pudding - 八宝饭 -bābǎofàn This is a pretty popular dessert, especially during the Lunar New Year. It gets this name becase of the toppings, which are eight or more different types of dried fruits and nuts arranged on top of the sweet rice, with (once again) red bean paste.

Hawthorn stick/ Candied Haws/ Sugar coated haws/ Bingtanghulu - 冰糖葫芦 - bīngtánghúlu This treat has quite a few translations and you may have probably already seen it. This is basically candied fruit covered with a sweet, crunchy and sugary syrup. Traditionally, Hawthorn is used but other fruits such as grapes, strawberries and oranges are also popular options.

Sachima - 沙琪玛 - shāqímǎ I haven't tried this snack yet, but it looks quite fascinating. Sachima is made from fried batter stuck together with a sugary syrup, with an interesting texture.

Sesame balls - 芝麻球 - zhīmaqiú Similar to the rice glutinous balls, this treat is also made from glutinous rice flour with varying fillings including lotus seeds, mung bean and red beans, and sesame seeds.

Water chestnut cake A sweet pan-fried cake made from chinese water chestnut, with a unique semi-transparent appearance.

Wintermelon puff/ Wife cake/ Sweetheartcake - 老婆餅 - lǎopóbǐng This cake has many names, mainly because it has several different origin stories, each more fascinating than the next. This dessert is a flaky pastry with wintermelon, almond (not red bean this time!) paste and sesame filling.

Fortune cake - 发糕 - fāgāo Not a fortune cookie! This is a spongy steamed cupcake cake commonly made for the New Lunar Year celebrations and occasionally other events. They're usually a white-ish or brown-ish color, but they're often dyed bright colors to add extra festivity.

Mooncake - 月饼 - yuèbǐng This is a pretty well-known dessert, commonly prepared for the Mid-Autumn Festival. Mooncakes are smallish steamd/fried (depends on the region) cakes with a sweet filling that can also sometimes have an egg yolk inside.

Osmanthus cake - 桂花糕 - guìhuāgāo This is a unique traditional pastry made from glutinous rice flour, honey and osmanthus. This cake has a really interesting texture, as it's quite dense but also airy in a way? I'd definitely recommend trying it, as it's not super sweet and goes really well with tea.

[roosterm3attrash]

101 ways to kill Barney Calhoun

I ended up making this list by going through multiple servers and people so here cuz I found it in my phone notes

Anyway the brilliant minds of the half-life fandom

1.) Waited pressure plate with tnt under it

2.) im going to leave mines under his mattress

3.) i’m setting a rake on his floor so he steps on it and whacks his face

4.) I'm giving him a bomb disguised as a cigar

5.) barney death 3: he ate what elvis presley ate….

6.) I would kill Barney Calhoun by slapping him so hard on the ass that it gives him cardiac arrest

7.) I drop him onto a pit of venomous snakes

8.) Im going to give Barney a beer but instead of beer it will be filled with deadly neurotoxin

9.) “now gordon, ive been keepin an eye out on this combine hideout for a while. they seem to walk in a certain pattern when crossing over to the entrance, which makes me think theyve buried mines all over the place. now, ive memorized the pattern, so im just gonna sneak on over, and you follow my lead, alright? dont worry, i know exactly where all the mines are.” and then he explodes

10.) that one episode of sponge bob where he eats the exploding pie and explodes

11.) set up tripwire then he falls into a tiger pit

12.) I type kill npc_barney into console

13.) slap the boobies off his chest so hard them fly around the world and hit the side of his head like water balloons

14.) i could marry him and slowly feed him mercury over a span for 3 years until he dies of mercury poisoning

15.) He tries to become a wwe wrestler but gets killed in a freak accident mid match

16.) I would kill him by making him a pizza but it’s covered in big chunks of lead but it’s hidden in the sauce and it’s a Chicago style pizza

17.) bring him to a highway and kiss him so hard he gets knocked onto the road and gets ran over

18.) Peeling him apart by the dna strand and eating it like spaghetti

19.) barney gets trampled by a stampede of horses

20.) giving him under the counter off brand viagra

21.) put him in a washing machine and turn it on

22.) shark attack

23.) pit of sharks

24.) barney gets criticized so badly he dies

25.) barney sits in an uncomfortable chair for too long

26.) He gets his arm caught in a bear trap w a beer used as a lure

27.) HE BECOMES THE CAT THAT TRAUMATIZED HIM. HE….YKNOW…..

28.) he gets stuck in a swimming pool like hes in the sims and dies from getting exhausted and drowning

29.) barney roasting marshmallows but his stick ignites into flames and he burns to death

30.) ATTACH SO MANY BALLOONS TO BARNEY HE FLOATS AWAY INTO THE SKY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN

31.) barney gets rejected by gordon and he gets so sad his body shuts down

32.) I kiss him so tenderly on the lips that he melts into a puddle and dies

33.) i throw him in to a volcano so that he melt into a puddle and dies

34.) "I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives…I’ll smash it with a hammer!"

35.) stick a bottle of beer into his throat, the whole bottle

36.) give Barney Calhoun a beer can full of poison

37.) hang a piano over the toilet and wait

38.) i think barney should have his spine ripped out through his mouth

39.) he goes to a bar and tries flirting with the bartender and the bartender takes out a shotgun and kills him on the spot

40.) punch him so hard in the penis that he shatters like a brittle glass

41.) bite him in half

42.) I'm grinding him in a giant shredder

43.) bro took a bath in hot mac 'n cheese

44.) i put him ina giant caldron full of water and i begin boiling him down to gelatin and broth

45.) barney accompanies the crew to the borealis and he steps over thin ice and gets dunked into the below zero water and freezes to death

46.) barney calhoun gets carried away by a tornado

47.) took barney on a vacation to Hawai’i and pushed him into a volcano

48.) He dies and he's never mentioned again and nobody cares

49.) died of tummy ache

50.) Stepped on by a strider

51.) shrinked until he disappeared completely

52.) blasted into the sun

53.) Stab him with 300 pencils made with real lead

54.) slip and falls and dies

55.) put him into a Minecraft furnace

56.) Barney ignores the wet floor sign and slips and cracks his head

57.) while swimming in the swimming pool he swims to fast and smashes his face against the pool's wall

58.) he gets a concussion and drowns

59.) i want to put him through a lunchmeat slicer

60.) He falls off a dumb huge cliff

61.) he lives his life to the fullest and at his deathbed at age 93, June 29th, 6:12 am he passes away

62.) he eats a burgie with too much grease and gets a heart attack

63.) testicular cancer

64.) He should get sucked into a fan while trying to fix it at Black Mesa and literally no one comes looking for him

65.) The Pita Bread Room

66.) slipped on a Banana peel

67.) ran over by a crap ton of shopping carts rolling down the hill

68.) barney overheats in a fursuit

69.) he has sex so bad that he dies

70.) Barney dies because i fucking kill him with a shovel 🖕

71.) barney eats the gas station sushi

72.) barney faints via twirling around and holding his hand in front of his forehead, and then slowly lying down with a flower in his hands to indicate death

73.) When they turn off the suppression fields he just blows up

74.) barney gets crushed by a giant boulder thats all i got son

75.) barney goes to the beach that makes you old

76.) His head spontaneously combusts and pops like corn

77.) erectile dysfunction

78.) we should also have him get carbon monoxide poisoning

79.) barney gets gaussian blurred into nothingness

80.) he eats 20 year old expired mcdonalds burger and contracts the worst case of food poisoning youve ever seen

81.) Have we done tying him to a train track like a damsel

82.) he dies in a glue trap

83.) barney develops lactose intolerance over the years of combine occupation and he drink milk and then dies from shitting hinself to death

84.) he should chocke on his favourite food

85.) barney gets lead poisoning from a 1990s garfield glass mug

86.) he chokes on plastic

87.) barney gets thrown throw a glass window from a 15 story building

88.) gordon gives barney a wedgie so bad that he splits in half and dies

89.) gordon and barney divorce and barney dies from heartbreak

90.) alyx and gordon have enough of barney’s snoring so they smother him in his sleep with a pillow

91.) he trips while walking with gordon and impales himself on gordons crowbar face

92.) if he were the size of an ant he'd be ok instead he blows up like a watermelon and his remains are fed to lamarr by a very delighted kleiner. he fucking hated barney

93.) dog roughhouses with barney and accidentally obliterates his spinal cord

94.) barney gets poisoned to death by his own chumtoad

95.) coats him in eggs and flour and fries him

96.) snatched by a hawk and eten alive

97.) barney gets to participate in a danganronpa killing game and gets executed

98.) barney opens the love-letter-for-you.txt.vbs file and it kills him

99.) elaborate rube goldberg machine to drop an anvil on barney

100.) barney dies in an Iron Maiden

101.) we should put barney under those old timey stone tablets meant to squish and torture people and make them talk

[reddawnmultimuse]

Everyone asks about the hand mouths, but what about that chest mouth? I imagine with the length and girth of that tongue you could find plenty of creative uses for it, no?

"W-What? No! It's feral! S-Sure, it'll feel nice until it bites you, hn! You're not implying sticking your dick near it, are you!?"

[seramilla]

I am very much not mind now. But I’m laughing cause Sera trying to come up with endearment and Clara supplying gummy bear in Spanish. Gum may nola

Carmilla blushing and trying not to laugh at Sera’s proud look.

Love you loots

Sera calling Carmilla her gummy bear headcanon unlocked. 😂😂

She learns what it actually means not in Spanish, but it’s too late. Rather than admit she fell for Clara’s trick, she just keeps calling Carmilla that, completely serious, and it sticks. 😂😂

Then she starts to have fun with it to try and make Carmilla blush even more.

Sera: "My little gummy bear. My gorgeous gelatin girl. My delectable queen of crushed bones.”

Carmilla: “STAAAAAHHHP.”

Loove you loots too friend. Hope you’re having a good time wherever you are! 😇😇

[scopostims]

stimboard for the album "rise waves" by giuk :•]

[ID: A 3x3 stimboard of 8 GIFs surrounding a central image.

GIF 1: A slow pan over of blue interstellar clouds and stars.

GIF 2: A closeup of rain hitting waving ocean waters.

GIF 3: Paint base and blue pigment being mixed with a pallette knife.

GIF 4: A fork taking a piece out of a translucent blue jelly.

Image: The album cover for "rise waves" by Giuk.

GIF 5: Blue water and gelatin being stirred in a pot.

GIF 6: Glittery blue paint being stirred with a paint stick.

GIF 7: An aerial view of waves moving in the ocean.

GIF 8: A slowly moving view of a blue night sky, galaxies and stars shifting over the frame.

End ID]

[growmydarling]

What have you done to me I’m actually starting to get visibly FAT

just showed you the enticing nature that gaining can have. hypnotized you into preferring a soft, gelatinous body, curves lining your silhouette seductively. weeks of good eating sticking to your ribs and hanging off your frame. . . ❤️‍🔥

[after-witch]

Horrorfest: Nothing Ventured [Yandere Sesshoumaru x Reader]

Title: Nothing Ventured [Yandere Sesshoumaru x Reader]

Synopsis: Sesshoumaru lets you put together stuff for a Halloween party. Jaken is whiny about it.

For Horrorfest request:

Sesshoumaru with a darling that’s really into Halloween? (Maybe she’s in a kagome situation where she’s from the modern world) and goes on and on about Halloween and spooky things in general?

Word count: 1132

notes: yandere, reader is captive but is pretty much just like "this is my life now" about it

“I don’t see why you should be allowed to waste precious supplies for such, such--nonsense!”

Jaken’s impish fury being directed at you was nothing new, and you dutifully ignored him and continued working on your makeshift Halloween garland. It wasn’t anything like the type of stuff you might have bought back home, mass-produced and printed and ready-to-go, but maybe that just made it more special. 

Jaken paced back and forth in front of you, waving his stick and ranting.

“To think! The invaluable ink I use to assist our lord Sesshoumaru, wasted for some… some… silly human festival!” 

“Jaken.”

You and Jaken both froze in place. Jaken, out of anxiety, and you, out of curiosity. 

Sesshoumaru, who had been sitting silently with his eyes closed ever since giving you permission to make some decorations, was now looking directly at his servant. He looked, as he often did, passive; but you knew that didn’t mean he wasn’t irritated. 

“Y-Yes, my lord?” Jaken gave a little bow, eyes darting from you to Sesshoumaru.

“Did I not give them permission for this?”

Jaken bowed his head a little. “Y-Yes, my lord, but--”

Sesshoumaru leaned back against the tree and closed his eyes again. “Then shut up and help them. I’m tired of your complaining.”

Jaken’s face split into fury before smoothing out into exasperated obedience. “Of-of course, my lord.” 

He turned to you, mumbling, and you didn’t hold your breath that he was anything but irritated with the command his lord had given him. It wasn’t the first time that Sesshoumaru had ordered Jaken to obey your whims; something which might have seemed impossible ages ago, but now that you had settled into an uneasy acceptance of your forced servitude to a demon lord from feudal Japan, it had become more common. 

“You should be grateful, you know,” Jaken muttered, grabbing one of your complete garlands and stringing it onto the rope you’d commandeered for your makeshift Halloween celebration. He looked like he could make a good decoration himself, you thought--a creepy little creature who ran around terrorizing children while they trick-or-treated. 

He continued speaking, even as his hands began to nimbly put together a garland. “A high-ranking demon lord like lord Sesshoumaru should never demean himself by giving in to some… human celebration.”

You hummed. “I know. But Halloween is my favorite holiday back home. So I’m glad I get to bring it here… sort of.” You glanced at the DIY supplies you’d been creating for a few days. There was your garland--the highlight of the decorations, in your opinion, although  you wished you’d been able t find orange paints; a costume, for yourself, as you didn’t even entertain the idea that Sesshoumaru would be willing to dress up (you were secretly working on something for Jaken, but you would cross that bridge when you came to it); and a smattering of dishes that you were hoping to turn into something like Halloween party food. 

You sighed. It was a shame you couldn’t make mummy hot dogs or use a gelatin mold to make a Jello brain. But it wasn’t like you had a way to get back to your own time period, or a way to get back… anywhere now. Sesshoumaru wouldn’t let you, even if you asked. Even if you pleaded sweetly and obediently. That’s how you got permission to set up Halloween, by pleading and pleading, and explaining how it worked and pleading some more. 

After the garland, you were going to get to work on the pumpkin carving. At first, you’d assumed that you’d have to carve something else--plump round radishes, maybe--but when you’d sketched out a pumpkin for Sesshoumaru, he murmured that he recalled seeing some in a human vegetable garden once. 

These pumpkins were dark green, almost black. You hadn’t tried to carve them yet--hopefully the insides weren’t too different from the bright orange pumpkins you always bought around Halloween time. 

Jaken saw you looking at the stash of pumpkins he’d been forced to procure for your Halloween celebration and scoffed. “And another thing! What a waste of food! Carving faces into food… and for what! Some silly festival that I’ve never heard of? I tell you, you are the most--” 

“Jaken.”

This time, when the two of you glanced at Sesshoumaru, his eyes flashed red in warning. Just for a moment. 

Jaken stammered out an apology and you bit down on your cheek to avoid saying anything. While Jaken went dutifully back to work, you kept on looking at the demon lord, who--you would swear this on your life--gave you something like a teasing smile. Just for a moment, before he closed his eyes to rest again. Or maybe it was a trick of the light.

Abandoning the garland for a moment, you grabbed one of the charcoal drawings you’d made to test out designs for the pumpkins. You approached the seemingly resting lord Sesshoumaru and dropped down to sit near him, kneeling out of a habit of forced respect.

“Do you want to see what I’m going to carve into the pumpkins?”  

He didn’t say anything for a moment. Then he opened his eyes, looking at you for a moment. 

“If you want to show them to me, you may. I don’t care.”

It was the closest thing to a “yes” that you were going to get. Really, you were grateful that he was letting you do this at all. Especially after you’d talked his ear off about Halloween the first time and his only response had been, “There’s nothing like that here. It sounds foolish.” 

Maybe it was foolish. But it was the only thing you had going for you right now. So you smoothed out the papers and held them up. He looked at them with disinterest, even as you chattered away, explaining the design for each one. 

When you were done, he glanced over at his impish servant. 

“Jaken,” he said. Jaken, busy finishing up a garland with an expression of clear distaste on his face, looked up.

“Yes, my lord?”

“Watch over them while they do this. If they injure themselves, I’ll cut off your hand.”

Jaken bristled. You could practically see little feet of fear scampering up his spine as he straightened.

“Of-of course, my lord!”

Sesshoumaru sighed, and closed his eyes. 

You scampered back over to Jaken and picked up the other end of the garland to help him finish. 

Maybe you weren’t going to get to go home. Maybe it wouldn’t be a real Halloween. Maybe you were being held in this quasi-captivity by a demon lord who barely spoke to you (Jaken, for all his protests about your very existence, did respond to your chatter)--

But at least you were having some fun for once.

That counted for something.