#HE'S SO RUDE

[ask-a-bot]

Starscream have you gone to therapy yet? And please be nice and behave

I always do! What d'you mean, "behave"? Kiss my aft-erburner! Yes, I've started talking to Rung every cycle (Cybertronian time). Do I get more energon goodies?

After telling 'em to kiss your aft?

I said afterburner!

We both know what you said, young'un.

[bird-inacage]

Peat Wasuthorn for PetHipster Magazine

Someone needs to confiscate his lollipops. The boy is outta control.

[your-brightest-star]

I have done literal gallery quality art with my make up today and @remus-johnlupin wants me to REMOVE IT

[sprnkles]

❛ Kiss me. Kill me. Do something. ❜ for @ncrthernattitude

jackson's blood felt like it was on fire. liquid hell coursing through his veins, burning his insides. it had nowhere to go except round and round. his throat is dry, the moisture stolen by the sharp claws of anger.

he runs his hands through his hair, palms damp with a light coat of sweat. a few strands fall forward. he doesn't know why he bothers with constantly pushing it back. usually he lets it do its thing, but tonight, with the rage that's pumping through his body, he just about yanks the kitchen drawer open and snip it all off.

whiskey isn't helping to suppress his anger, yet he keeps swallowing mouthfuls of the burning liquid. another one slides down his throat when she speaks. most nights her voice is the closest thing he'll get to hearing an angel speak. but tonight it only itches his insides.

jackson rolls his eyes, a malicious laugh bubbling from the deep parts of his chest. "kill you?" he sets his glass down, hard. "god, don't flatter yourself."

[aidenshouse]

📸 (miray)

[pepperstreak]

[amostimprobabledream]

Watching Toji clap Geto was so satisfying ngl. That was animated SO well.

[harvey-danger-stan]

i hate ethan just as much as cameron tbh i hope they end up together & leave their poor women alone

[sanctissimx]

❛ i’m a lost soul maybe — i don’t feel at all like i ought to feel. ❜ from @qiinglong​

His dark tail swished, the only indication that he had heard the proclamation. The canglong’s imprudently tall frame remained still for a protracted moment, until he deigned to turn his head to regard the other dragon with an impassive disdain. Sighing through his nose with an evident disapprobation, his dark eyes were intent on this Yinyuejun in spite of the apathy he held for any conversation that did not involved Jing Lin. 

“That sounds very much like a personal problem,” he said meaningfully, blinking at him blandly before turning around and offering the qinglong his backside to converse with. 

[ato-dato]

One mans barber can be another mans nemesis.

[bet-on-me-13]

The weirdly competent Doctor

So! The Watchtower's Medical Bay is a hub of constant Activity. With the number of Heroes who work under the Justice League, there are always injuries, health check-Ups, and illnesses that need healing.

But with the amount of Variant Biologies that those Heroes have, it's always a guessing game as to how to help them best. Some Metahumans react positively to penicillin, but others react like it's their Kryptonite. Some Aliens have anatomy similar to Humans, others are so different you can't tell the Stomach from the Bladder.

So when they hired a New Doctor for the Medical Bay, they had to run him through an entire Course on Variant Biologies and how best to treat specific Heroes. It was long and difficult to remember fully, but it was necessary for him to know.

But then the new Doctor started correcting Them.

"Actually, Martian's react better to the Syrup of Eucalyptus Plants better than Penicillin, since Eucalyptus is very similar to a medicinal plant from Mars which they used in many of their antibiotics."

"I don't think just pumping double doses of sedative is the best way to calm down a Speedster, that could have adverse effects on their body. Perhaps try Psychic Intervention? Their minds move a Mile a Second, but if you can calm them down their bodies will follow suit."

"Of course you use Micro-Doses of Kryptonite to operate on Superman! What else would you do?! I don't know, maybe ask JLD to enchant your Equipment to make use of Kryptonian suseptiblity to Magic? The Kryptonite is just gonna give him Cancer!"

Of course the Doctors didn't take kindly to being rudely corrected by a newbie, and Fired him on his first day.

Then a few days later their usual Treatments don't work, and they decide to give those strategies the Quack Doctor gave them out of desperation.

And Lo and Behold, they work! Martian Manhunter is fully healed and feels much better than the previous times he has needed surgery. Apparently they used a different Antibiotic that worked better with his Biology. Which was incredible, how had they figured it out?

Another Doctor you say? One who was experienced on Martian Biology and Medicinal History? He would very much like to meet with the man!

...

What do you mean you fired him for talking back?!

[fragmentedblade]

"For him, it's as routine as me finding fault in everything".

Well, I guess he's self-aware at least

[starry-bi-sky]

I am loudly pushing the batdad agenda i am loudly pushing the— DPxDC Prompt

“Woah. You look like shit."

Granted, that’s probably not the first thing Danny should be saying to the guy that just bit the curb, but in his defense; he’s not running on 100% right now either.

The man -- tall, towering, and broader than Danny is tall -- whips around on his heel, black frayed cape flaring out impressively. Danny would've whistled in appreciation, but he takes the time instead to wipe the back of his hand across his mouth, smearing the blood running from his nose across his cheek.

"Sorry." He blinks widely, not even flinching as the man with the horns zeroes in on him. "That was rude of me. I have a really bad brain-to-mouth filter; Sam says its what always gets me into trouble."

And she's not wrong either, per say. His smart mouth is what landed him in this situation -- with blood blossom extract running through his veins and cannibalizing the ectoplasm in his bloodstream. Thanks Vlad.

The man grunts at him; a short, curt "hm" that shouldn't make Danny smile, but he does because he's somewhat delirious and probably concussed. The man keeps some kind of distance, sinking towards the shadows of Gotham's alleyway like he dares to melt right into it.

If it's supposed to scare Danny, it doesn't work. Danny's never been afraid of the dark; he's always been able to hide himself in it. He blinks slowly at the mass of shadows.

"You look hurt." The shadows says, blurring together around the edges. Danny squints, and licks his lips to get the blood dripping down his chin off. Ugh, he hates the taste of blood.

"I am." He says, "My godfather poisoned me. M'dying." The agony of the blood blossom eating him from the inside out looped back around to numbing a while ago, so all he feels is half-awake and dazed.

"Hey," Danny stumbles forward towards the man, a bloodied hand reaching out to him. "You-- you're a hero, right? You're not attacking me; which is more than I can say for most costumed people I've met." Maybe it's a poor bar to judge someone at, but he's already established that Danny's not in his right mind.

The man makes no change in expression, but Danny realizes blearily that it's hard to tell with the shadows on his face. He stays still long enough for Danny to latch onto the cape -- stretchy, but almost soft under his fingers.

He looks up blearily into the whites of the man's eyes. "Can you help me? I don't-- I don't wanna die." Again. He doesn't wanna die again. He blinks slow and lizard-like. "I mean- I'll probably get to see mom and dad again, but I told them I'd at least try and make it to adulthood."

There's a clatter down the street, and Danny's ghost sense chills up his spine and leaves a bitter, ashy taste in his mouth. He immediately knows who it belongs to even before the deceptively gentle; "Daniel?" echoes down the way.

"Daniel? Quit your games, badger, Gotham is dangerous for children."

Danny's mouth pulls back, and blood spills against his tongue. "Please." He rasps, and grabs onto the shadow's cape with both hands. "Please. He's going to kill me. Please--"

"Daniel? Is that you?"

His lips part, dragging in air to plead with the darkness again. He doesn't need to, the whites of his eyes narrow, and the cape whirls around him before Danny can blink. Soon swaddled in shadows, the Night lifts him up, and steals him away.

[bacchuschucklefuck]

class swap design masterpost for convenience (from top to bottom: bard!riz, cleric!gorgug, sorcerer!kristen, barbarian!fig, artificer!adaine, and rogue!fabian)

[tanblaque]

[ohhyperbola]

Happy Easter guys uuuhhh