#HRT isn't just for trans binary people i take HRT and it's for my assigned gender but because i'm taking meds for that it's aokay!

[commanderogerss]

sims team: here’s an update, you get top surgery scars, binders, and a lightswitch!

a patreon content creator’s post that’s in my emails: here’s a link to a subreddit where 99.99% of users aren’t actually detransitioners, the subreddit is deeply transphobic. i also use words like mutilation, which is a dog whistle, and how we shouldn’t give children ideas to have top surgery even though legally, they can’t!

[zerosuitsammi3]

hiiii i have a question that is kinda intrusive so can ignore it if you like.... but um. how did you Know™ you're trans? i'm trying to figure out if I'M a girl and. idk it feels fake sometimes? like what if i'm just tricking myself or something...

So this is definitely a complex question and my story is only my story. For me, I kind of always knew, though for certain portions of my life I was in heavy denial of it. But I do remember as a young kid I would cry myself to sleep at night desperately wishing that when I woke up in the morning that I'd wake up as a girl and find that all the time I spent as a boy would turn to have been just a horrible nightmare. I spent my teens as an incredibly effeminate emo and people often mistook me for a girl which made me happy and then confused. I do remember, at 16, "cross-dressing" using a friend's clothes to be "funny" and nearly breaking into tears of joy when I saw myself in the mirror when I was alone. Around 19 I learned about hrt and my egg fully cracked and I dressed femme in college a lot. I was still in the closet but barely. After college in my early 20's I got really close to fully coming out but fear and other things forced me deep back into the closet which led to really intense depression. At 26 I finally hit my breaking point and went to therapy, was immediately diagnosed with a long history of dysphoria and recommended to a clinic to start hrt. The rest is history.

Now this is the complexity. I clearly had extreme dysphoria, but I don't believe dysphoria is necessary or required to be trans. Plenty of trans people don't. You could be entirely comfortable in the gender assigned to you at birth but find that being a girl just feels better/you like it more/fits you better. So I fully recommend exploring your gender identity. I think more people should. It gives you a better world view on how society treats people and makes you a more empathetic well rounded person. Maybe you'll find that being a girl isn't right and being a boy was, you will still understand cis and trans women more than you did before. Maybe you find that being a girl isn't right but nor is being a boy and you'll find yourself outside of the binary. Maybe you'll find that being a girl truly makes you happier than you were before. All I can say is explore your gender identity and take in the experiences and you will find what feels right.

[the-trans-dragon]

I'm not complaining exactly, but. Lol.

When reliable medical sources use the "assigned [sex] at birth" language...

I do appreciate it! When a medical article ignores transgender people, it lessens the credibility for me. If it says "This occurs more in women," I *know* what they are intending to convey, but theyre also telling me, "We studied cis people only." And as a trans person, I need my medical resources to account for my existence, y'know?

So when they say "More likely in people assigned female at birth," it's helpful! I now know that they know I exist, but...they're saying essentially the same thing, ei, "We studied cis people only (probably)."

I realize that there isn't better terminology for this stuff.

I have my own terms for these! And I am eagerly waiting for the medical community to figure out some terms too.

Currently I use "Estrogen-Dominant Hormone System" and "Testosterone-Dominwnt Hormone System." I came with those btw >:3 I'm rather proud of them!! You could also call it "Estrogen-Led Hormone System."

It isn't perfect, but it does ACTUALLY allow "cis women" and "trans people taking 'feminizing'* hormones" to exist in the same category, as opposed to saying "AFAB" and then trying to figure out how to handle any outliers taking 'masculinizing'* hormones.

*I don't really like this word to describe it. I'd personally call it "Estrogen-Dominant HRT" and "Testosterone-Dominant HRT." The latter might be a little redundant, but E-dominant HRTs vary widely, due to the option of using progesterone or androgen-blockers (and other meds that affect hormone levels); and simply calling it "Estrogen HRT" implies that it doesn't involve anything besides estrogen.

It STILL wouldn't INDICATE trans inclusivity, BUT. WHENEVER THEY GET AROUND TO INCLUDING TRANS PEOPLE it'll be very helpful.

It hopefully also accounts for intersex people (not perfectly; but it doesn't work perfectly for trans people; which is to say: it would function BEST as a stepping stone towards more comprehensive terminology).

Lastly, I think it would allow for some spectrums to be considered, rather than a strict binary. I think that, medically, it would be *infinitely* more valuable to consider "sex" in terms of "various hormones, in consideration of some 'normal' ranges and in consideration of the ratios comparing them with other hormones." Example:

ADHD meds and "females." ADHD meds have different efficacy throughout the monthly menstrual cycle. "Because of the way estrogen varies during the cycle." But I want *more* data.

Does estrogen alone change the efficacy?

Is it a combination of multiple hormones that fluctuate?

Is it because "Hormones A increased," or is it because "The Ratio of Hormones A to Hormone B increased?" Did the ratio increase? Maybe the other hormone experienced an even greater increase, causing the ratio to decrease.

I've tried to stitch together some sort of answer, but Im never satisfied with it. It's hard to integrate sources that use different ranges of normal, or that measure with a different unit, or that don't specify enough details to know how to combine it to another source.

I just want science to recognize trans people, and also recognize the actual complex science behind sex, rather than operating as if it's a simple binary with strict characteristics.

So I guess I AM complaining. But not about articles using AFAB/AMAB. I'm complaining about the unresolved limits, and exclusion of trans people.

[cipheramnesia]

I think the thing about TME/TMA that's always bothered me is that it doesn't particularly take into account intersex experiences or how intersexism can and is fueled not only by transphobia, but specific types of transphobia too. Intersex athletes being targeted and harassed, not being seen as women enough is intersexism of course, but it's intersexism fueled by transmisogyny. Intersexism can and often is fueled by transphobia and it's various subsets to the point where cis intersex people (especially non white cis intersex people) can and often are the target of transphobia/specific subsets of transphobia. This isn't exclusive to transmisogyny either and it's clear that TME/A language was not created with the experiences of intersex people (let alone intersex trans people) in mind. I legitimatly consider myself neither TME/TMA due to my experiences because they don't fit, I know many other intersex people due too (regardless of AGAB, which honestly I'm tired of seeing used so often in trans spaces too). It's frustrating and just a reminder that none of the language (not just TME/TMA) created by trans people fits my experiences as an intersex person because white perisex trans people are often the only experiences noted.

This is a constant struggle, because there is an overlap in terms of how the social construction of gender affects both groups, and a significant amount of prejudice against trans people pulls intersex people in, but there's also distinct and separate ways intersex people are affected. I mean, I'm trans, so I've spent a lot more time engaged in trans specific things, and I'm not as articulate about intersexism as a consequence.

There's a degree where getting excited in deconstructing gender and disconnecting it from biology gets so exciting we can forget about stuff like people still have actual physical biology, and I suspect that is one reason intersex issues which may hinge on biology aren't addressed well, if addressed at all. Like, there is a fundamental element of the right to bodily autonomy here, but my right to HRT is also materially different from a medical professional trying to force an intersex person to conform to a binary gender, which may be arbitrarily assigned, and in some cases actively or passively withholding information about being intersex. Which is not the entirety of all the differences, but I think the best I can articulate it easily.

Anyway, I'm still a little fried but I generally try to include intersex people when I'm talking about how social constructs of gender or binarism affects trans people in general, but also in a way that is, I hope, illustrative of different ways that affects someone being intersex vs trans vs cis and such. It's always a juggling act because very few people ask me about intersex matters directly (and why would they), but because of the overlap and unique "related but different" situation, I want people also thinking outside of just "trans" to how many other aspects of society interconnect and affect each other.

[freedom-of-fanfic]

hey um just a request, but you seem to use dfab and dmab often in weird contexts when you could just say women and men. e.g.: "any mlm that is shipped by more dfab people than dmab people." as a nonbinary trans person, a sex assigned at birth is not relevant most of the time, so could you maybe use it less when it isn't necessary?

thanks for letting me know your thoughts, anon. I’m pretty sure that particular example comes from the ‘my objections to anti-shipping’ post, which is pretty old now (though I reblogged it from myself today). I remember re-reading that recently and thinking ‘ah, I don’t think this is the best use of these phrases’ but I forgot to edit the original post anyway (classic adhd move, tbh). But still, it’s not the only example of me using descriptors that are kinda ‘eh’. 

I’m sorry that my word choice here was inappropriate and may have made you feel uncomfortable.

my use of descriptors like afab, amab, intersex*, genderqueer, cis, nb, trans, male, female, woman, man, etc is constantly evolving as I try to be precise but also inclusive when I talk about experiences that are affected by gender (which, let’s be real, is a huge number of experiences).

under the cut I’ll go into more detail about why I think picking the right combination of gender descriptors is both really important to me and also difficult to get right without causing anyone harm.

(built in tw: descriptions of transphobia/transmisogyny and mentions of the harm it causes.)

because my blog deals almost entirely in fandom experiences and how they are influenced by negative outside factors, I believe it’s very important to address both personal gender identity and how gender identity is perceived/treated by others (especially bigots/ignorant people) both currently and over the course of their lives. but that gets very complicated, very fast.

For example, every gender experience will be different from one another even if they share aspects of their gender identity:

- even though all cis and trans women are women, cis women and trans women will have very different experiences of womanhood. 

- to dissect this down even further, a trans person who realizes they are trans very early in life and is able to live as their true gender will have a different gender experience from a trans person who doesn’t realize they are trans until later in life, or who realizes they are trans early in life but is forcibly misgendered by people around them, or a person who changes from a non-transgender identity to a transgender identity as an adult, etc etc.

Relatedly, a person’s life experiences are also deeply affected by what gender other people assign them regardless of their consent:

 - If someone of any gender is raised under the assumption they are a particular gender because of their agab, they will share certain experiences with other people who are assigned the same gender at birth. otoh, how it affects them will depend in part on what their actual gender is, or if their gender identity changes down the line.

- obviously, non-cis people have to contend with a variety of nastiness that cis people don’t have to deal with. I won’t go into detail b/c nobody needs that grossness, but suffice to say: TERFs, right-wing activist groups like FRC, and transphobes in general make non-cis lives particularly difficult, up to and including getting non-cis people killed. in particular transgender people (but this also affects other non-cis identities).

- other forms of misgendering also cause harm, whether deliberate or not. from outright bigotry to people who think there are only two genders out of ignorance to people who use misgendering as a weapon to accidental assumptions of the wrong gender, it’s shit, and everyone will have a different experience with these issues based on a shitton of variables.

- and if all of the above wasn’t enough, gender experiences are heavily influenced by cultural background, the political climate, racism, sexual orientation, and on and on and on.

(and regarding my * on intersex above the cut: i am not intersex, and while I have read/heard a variety of experiences from personal anecdotal accounts by intersex people I generally try to avoid commenting on it from lack of knowledge (particularly because some intersex people have expressed they do not view ‘intersex’ as a gender descriptor but rather as a medical state.))

These are all things I try to bear in mind when making a post on tumblr that references gender. here’s an example of the kind of internal debates that come up:

the Japanese word ‘fujoshi’ is gendered, referring specifically to women who enjoy/create BL & queer-eye fictional m/m relationships. It carries this gendered connotation both when referring to a particular fan experience* and when it’s used as an insult in English-speaking fandom. What gender descriptors do I use to refer to people who are affected by this?

(*in this case I’m referring to using ‘fujoshi’ to describe a specific fan experience in English-speaking fandom/primarily US experience. By virtue of being a different culture than Japan, the experience described by ‘fujoshi’ will necessarily be different.)

as a fan experience, I’d say ‘fujoshi’ can encompass the experiences of women and/or afab people (particularly afab people who were raised under the assumption they were a woman whether or not this was true) who choose to describe themselves as fujoshi.

women: encompassing trans and cis women. (trans women may or may not share the experience of being recognized as a woman/identifying as a woman while being raised, but they are still just as affected all their lives by messages aimed at women.)

and/or afab people, particularly if they were raised under the assumption of being a female whether they were or not: afab people who are raised as women are also affected all their lives by messages aimed at women, though that experience is likely quite different from gender identity to gender identity.

who choose to describe themselves as fujoshi: a person who was raised under the assumption they are a woman may share certain experiences with other afab people, but even if they experienced the same messages/similar experiences as other afab people who chose to identify as ‘fujoshi’, that doesn’t mean they fall under the descriptor of ‘fujoshi’. I’m particularly thinking of trans men and nb people here - unless any one individual says differently about themselves, I think calling a trans man or person off the gender binary a ‘fujoshi’ would be misgendering them - but there may be many examples of people who don’t relate to the gendered aspect of ‘fujoshi’ for many reasons.

as an insult, I’d say ‘fujoshi’ is almost always a mess of gender essentialism and misgendering. It refers to those that are perceived as women by the person slinging the insult. ‘Perceived women’ often include cis women and/or afab people of any gender, frequently including trans men, and occasionally encompasses trans women who the insulter sees as ‘passing’ as a cis woman.

perceived women: people that the insulter and/or ignorant portions of society would categorize as a woman without the person’s consent and regardless of accuracy.

cis women and/or afab people of any gender: a gender essentialist views gender as being synonymous with genitals (intersex people frequently either being categorized by the insulter separately or by whatever HRT/surgery was chosen for them). (in practice radfem ideology has the same effect, but they argue that gender doesn’t exist at all (only biological sex does).)

frequently including trans men: depending on how far the insulter is willing to go with their misgendering & often influenced by whether or not the insulter perceives a trans man as ‘passing’ as a cis man. (this may be affected by whether or not a trans man has undergone HRT/surgery depending on the opinion of the insulter.)

occasionally encompasses trans women who the insulter sees as ‘passing’ as a cis woman: because if they ‘pass’ they may be perceived as a ‘real woman’ (ugh ugh ugh). (this may also be affected by HRT/surgery depending on the opinion of the insulter.)

and now that I’ve settled on these descriptions, how do I condense them to something easy to read without distracting from the points I’m trying to make?

as an experience: “women and/or afab people”, maybe? perhaps “women and/or some afab people”?as an insult: “perceived women”, maybe?

(and I’m happy to take constructive criticism on this. I’d prefer it be sent not on anon so we can privately discuss it rather than doing it in posts on this blog (and if you don’t want to discuss your thoughts, just want to share and go, feel free to let me know - I won’t demand your time.))

in short: I think about a lot of stuff every time I pick gender descriptors on this blog. This doesn’t mean I always make the right choices - far from it - and there may not even be a truly ‘right’ choice. But I’m always seeking to be as inclusive and honest as I can be.

(PS: I don’t talk about my gender status here much other than to say ‘i’m afab’ because while I don’t presently identify as cis, I’m murky on it myself still & I don’t want my gender identity to affect whether or not ppl speak up about their opinions about my use of gender descriptors.)

[bitter-bitchbites]

Genuine question, if being trans isn't seen as a medical condition isn't that a bad thing? Insurance wouldn't cover life saving surgeries/hormones, so isn't that detrimental and against the trans communities interests?

“fair” point in theory, but you’re not seeing the matter from the right angle, because you got a transantagonistic and cissexist bias.

being trans isn’t a medical condition and it does not inherently implies medical care. 

transitioning does. like, yeah, hrt, surgeries, stuff that some trans people need so their dysphoria stop beating them in a metaphorical bloody pulp, because they need their body changed so they stop feeling so suicidal. insurance should cover that, because yeah, their mental health and life depend on it.

and no, the “trans” isn’t short for “transitionning”. it’s short for “transgender”, that was thought to contrast with “cisgender”, and “trans” has the sense of “crossing to the other/another side here, while “cis” means staying on the same side one starts on, more or less. that’s ancient greek, i think. so being trans isn’t defined by transitionning. transitionning is a choice, and sometimes it’s not, because sometimes it’s the only solution to not break because of dysphoria.

because of course, dysphoria is also its own medical thing, it’s a mental disorder, that can cause depression, self harm, self hatred, and suicidal urges.

but not every trans person has deadass terrible dysphoria that we can’t deal with without changing our bodies at a high price. some have mild dysphoria, that they can deal with haircuts, different clothes, and shaping their bodies in one they like themselves as and all. sometimes it’s bargaining because they can’t afford surgery, but sometimes, they just don’t feel like they need surgery. and yeah im mainly talking about nb trans ppl, altho there gotta be binary trans ppl who are like that too. i just know that it’s smtg we nb ppl often feel like. 

nonbinary ppl show that (hence why transmedicalists aka truscums hate us, tho idk why they care so much about pathologizing us and themselves). we don’t always hate our body. there are trans ppl, nb or not, that don’t suffer dysphoria, because dysphoria isn’t smtg you’re born with, it’s a disorder that’s caused by a bad environment that triggers it. 

extreme example, imagine a trans boy who’s forced at age 0 into pink dresses, pink shoes, pink hats, drinks from pink cups, in a pink chair, sleeps in a pink bed, in a pink room. and he’s said “you’re a girl girly girl” all the time, goes to dancing class because “that’s what girls do”, is put on make up cuz “that’s what girls like” and can’t put on pants cuz “that’s not a girl thing”. forced in a cissexist bs mold. a nightmare. it’s not that that makes him a boy, he was a boy at age 0, regardless or circumstances; but he grew in an environment he could not be comfortable exploring his identity and questioning his assigned gender. and that’s going to worsen his already possible dysphoria. 

but being trans isn’t what’s going to make him break down and slap his abusive mother with that fucking pink violin, and run away to live with his bf in the next state raising cats, no, that’s his anger caused by the hurt of his many mental illnesses, dysphoria being one of them.

being trans doesn’t cause pain. it’s dysphoria’s fault. and not every trans person has dysphoria, and sometimes nb ppl have dysphoria, and sometimes not and they’re still trans, and some trans ppl’s dysphoria goes away at some point. but being trans doesn’t.

and take me for example. i have dysphoria. had it since i was 10. im a demigirl. that’s a nb(trans) woman identity. but i don’t wanna change my body with surgery. i don’t want to take away parts of myself, because i got enough of that, and i want to love my body. so instead i wanna add stuff, like letting my body hair do its thing, and not wearing bras and getting muscles, and asking ppl to use they/them for me, and not try and push me into being whatever tf they think a cis girl does. and that, plus mental work on my image, helped me tone down my dysphoria. maybe i’ll see if i can get hormones, if it doesn’t turn out i already have pocs. i was sick because of my dysphoria. not because im trans.

there’s a lot of cases like this that are weird and hard to understand, maybe, but they all point to one thing: the problem is dysphoria and other mental illnesses caused by being misgendered and abused.

i wanna be trans. i like that. it���s good, it’s me, it helps me, the community is mostly nice, im at peace with that label, and i don’t want to have it taken off. because that’s what it’d mean, to see transidentity as a medical condition. it’s be an illness. something to correct, to fight, to destroy. i don’t want to fight myself. neither does the majority of trans ppl.

so no, not pathologizing transidentity isn’t anywhere near detrimental to the trans community. because we still have valid problems that deserve specific attention, we still have dysphoria, we still want to transition, and we deserve the health care that we need to cope with cissexist abuse. the problem isn’t being trans. it’s the environment, the ppl, the society we live in. and doctors already know that. they don’t allow you to get hrt on insurance because you’re trans. they do because they dx you have dysphoria. that’s literally how they decide if we deserve to get the treatment we know we need. sometimes they won’t even dx ppl with dysphoria that they have dysphoria, because they’re “too mentally ill for that”, or “too sane to be trans”. and hormones don’t even cost as much as we gotta pay them. the prices are artificially inflated, like most medicines, because a compagny own them.

trans ppl don’t need to be pathologized to get the issues linked to our marginalized identity acknowledged. insurance would/should cover surgery and hrt regardless of what ppl think being trans is. because when we say we got a fucking problem or need things, we should be listened.

we would be, if our society cared. we wouldn’t be pathologized if our governments weren’t cissexist trans-hating little shits.

another example, a comparison this time. being afab isn’t an illness. but we still need medical attention, like detecting breast and uterus cancers, or other gyneacological treatment that can be a matter of life and death. and to that, you add the mental baggage caused by being in a mysoginistic cissexist patriarchy. sounds like worth being covered by insurance, uh? well not to many pseudo-civilized countries, but to the happiest on earth, it does, and it works. and yet being afab, especially a cis woman, isn’t an illness, or a curse.

because yeah, we also used to think that women were inherently sick and taht they needed men’s guidance and validation to be allowed to live, it’s just the same fucking mentality, but applied to trans ppl, with cis ppl. 

we’re not the correct gender, we don’t even perform it correctly, so we’re not worth being cared and listened to.

that’s victim blaming. that’s putting ppl under oppression, making them grow in a toxic environment they can’t escape from because it’s their very identity that’s thought to be inherently hostile, and we tell them it’s their fault. that they’re sick and that’s it.

considering being trans a medical condition is fucking murder. you’re placing the power in cis ppl’s hands doing that, because that means we’re to be corrected, and only them can do that. it also gatekeeps from getting treatment. it also misplaces the blame on our identity when it should be on our oppression.

being transmedicalist is allyship to the cistem. that’s believing the lie they made up to say we only deserve care if we accept that we’re sick, and to be ashamed.

im repeating myself, but insurance should cover our treatments for our dysphoria, and let us do what we wish of our bodies and identity as we endanger no one. nobody is allowed to call us ill for what we are while ignoring what we suffer of. we should get at least partially insurance covered surgery and hrt and completely insurance covered when we have dysphoria. it’s possible. spain does it, in good enough conditions. yeah, spain, the catholic country that was still a royalist dictatorship fourty years ago. and france too, can do the insurance coverage, even if it’s harder because you need psychiatric approval first, which is bs and intrusive. 

we aren’t sick for being trans, we deserve to be listened on our terms, that’s not a fleeting dream, and that’s not up to debate. 

and we’re going to change shit so we can get that.