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traviswritesaboutstuff-blog · 6 years

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No Longer a Twink, Not Yet a Bear (Or, The Plight of the Average Gay)

There’s something inherently demeaning about being described as “average,” even if that isn’t the intent of the term. That’s what’s so distressing about the gay community these days.

Anyone who has ever spent any kind of time on a gay dating app know that one of the first things you’re asked to do is place yourself into one of the multitudes of categories that gays use to describe themselves. If you’re new to the gay community, some of these terms can come off as... strange. “Bear.” “Otter.” “Wolf.” Am I signing up for a dating app or planning a trip to the zoo? Here is the complete list of all of the “tribes” you can ascribe to yourself on the most popular gay “dating” app, Grindr (“dating” is placed in quotes here because “dating” is a very vague term that can mean anything from a one-night stand to a long term relationship): Bear, Clean-Cut, Daddy, Discreet, Geek, Jock, Leather, Otter, Poz, Rugged, Trans, Twink, and Average.

I’m not a bear. Bears are (typically) older men, usually hairy, and often muscular. That sam basic description also applies to Daddies, and Otters are really just younger bears, so both of those categories are also ruled out. I’m not trans, rugged, or HIV-positive (get tested, folks!), so those terms don’t fit. I’ve been out of the closet since I was fifteen, so discreet is out, and I have no great love of sports or harnesses, so I’m neither “jock” nor “leather.” In my younger days, I was a twink, a young and skinny gay with little-to-no body hair, but that was four years and fifty pounds ago. That leaves me with three possible monikers to claim as my own: Clean-Cut, Geek, or the dreaded Average.

Clean-Cut, Geek, and Average are strange terms. They say less about your body type and more about your general state of being. Sure, it’s often possible to glance as someone and label them a “geek,” but those people are often labeled so because of their affinity of wearing anime tees and less so for their weight or hairiness. I have geeky tendencies, but have no all-consuming love for anything that would qualify me as a geek (okay, so maybe I’m a little obsessed with musical theatre, but in the World of Gays, who isn’t?). Clean-cut - what the fuck does that mean? Clean-cut is like the white bread of the gay world. Apparently caring about your appearance and grooming habits is rare enough to qualify you as a complete subset of gayness. I take pride in my hair and my fashion, but honestly some days I just can’t be bothered to give a shit, so I choose not to identify with the clean-cut tribe.

With all other possibilities eliminated, that leaves me with only one choice: average. That’s the catch-all, the miscellaneous category, the Hufflepuff house of the gay world. Average is what you are if you’re not interesting enough to be anything else. I call bullshit. I’m a human being with interests and hobbies and talents and a past and a future, and I refuse to use a term like “average” to label myself. But in the zoological world of homosexuality, it’s label or be labeled, so I stick with average and hope my personality can overpower the moniker.

I find it incredibly ironic that a community that has been discriminated against for so long then turns around and chooses to discriminate within its own ranks. Of course, everybody has a “type.” Some guys like older guys, and some like younger guys. Some like ‘em thin, and some like ‘em with a few extra pounds. If it’s a physical trait, there is somebody somewhere that’s into it. To be quite honest, it’s part of the reason I dye my hair red. Redheads have more personality, or so the thinking goes. We have fiery hair and an attitude to match. I don’t have a body that qualifies me as anything special, but my hair can. It sucks, but it’s the way it is in the world of internet dating, and until LGBT friendly spaces become widespread outside of major metropolitan areas, it probably won’t change.

As much as I despise the term “average,” I’ve made it a point to turn it into my personal badge of honor. In the world of full of bears, twinks, otters, and daddies, I am woefully and overwhelmingly average. And in some ways, that’s what makes me the least average.

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dpsjourney · 5 years

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Studies of Devassos No Paraíso by João Silvério Trevisan - Part II

About the representation of queer people in the Brazilian modern mainstream media

I’m skipping a bit of the vast historic background in Devassos no Paraíso provides to focus on the chapters where Trevisan (2018) describes the appearance of queer personalities and other artists that broke with the heteronormativity from the 70s onwards. It is important to remember that during this period of time, Brazil was going through a military dictatorship that was going to last until 1985. In addition, in 1968 a series of laws named The Institutional Act Number 5 (AI-5) was put into action. The AI-5 determined that the president (non-democratically elected) could, without any jurisdictional review, shut down the Congress, discharge congressman, suspend the rights of any citizen for 10 years, suspend habeas-corpus, amongst others. This led to high persecution of anyone or anything considered to be “subversive”: countless arrests of artists and activists - some even exiled, reports of torture from government agents, and heavy censorship on media and entrainment.

Having this said, the chapters start by commenting on the emergence of young liberation movements, not necessarily associated with any political side, but dedicated to a self immersion. The first icon of this movement was the singer and composer Caetano Veloso. He constantly broke with heteronormative expectations of the time, wearing bras and lipstick on stage, kissing his band members and stating a clear identification with a feminine side. Even though Veloso never stated he was gay or bi, there were comments of his admiration of the same sex in some of his lyrics.

Another important mention was the theater group Dzi Croquettes. They were the ones to introduce the gender fuck movement: originated in San Francisco, it consisted of gay men who liked to wear feminine symbols but mixed it with strong masculine traits like beards and hairy chests. The group performed dances and told provocative jokes on stage, they were a fundamental piece in breaking the heteronormativity in the LGBTQ+ community.

Above: (1) two members of Dzi Croquettes performing on stage

Following the tendency of playing with gender symbols was Ney Matogrosso. He had great success amongst different age and social groups, representing a figure of mystery. Contrasting glitter, makeup, skirts, feathers, and a hairy chest, Ney was a phenomenon as the lead singer of Secos & Molhados and, later on, in his solo career. He suffered plenty of verbal and nonverbal aggression, even being kicked out of the stage at one point (Pereira, 1982), but nevertheless always was a clearly stated homosexual. The singer said once in an interview (1978) that his mission was to “end the tale that [being] homosexual was something sad, suffered, that you need to hide”. Mostly, Ney Matogrosso represented artistic freedom to break with gender stereotypes and symbols; apart from his clothes, he constantly mocked masculinity in his lyrics and performance. To Brazilian society he posed as a mythical figure, provoking shock and curiosity in the audience, which always kept them interested.

Above: (2) Ney in his stage costume (Maia, circa 1970)

Moving over to television entertainment - another very important sector of Brazilian pop culture - it is also possible to start seeing representations of LGBTQ+ subjects, even though television channels also suffered heavily from censorship. One of the first personalities to do so was the Talent show host Chacrinha, who often dressed up as a woman and inserted sexual innuendos in every bit of the show during its exhibition in the 80s. From that onwards, there were more and more queer personalities in soap operas and TV shows. And the reason for that was simple: the polemic topic helped in the audience numbers - and therefore, profit. Actors that interpreted gay characters became nation-wide famous, all for performing very palatable version of real LGBTQ+ people, to please the public’s voyeuristic desires. The author suggests that this hygienization is mandatory for the continuous exotification of the public towards these ’strange loves’ that stayed in Brazilian’s imaginary.

Above: (3) The couple Niko (right, Thiago Fragoso) and Félix (left, Matheus Solano) in the prime time soap opera Amor À Vida.

In the same logic, LGBTQ+ characters also became the center of the joke. Many popular TV comedy shows had one or another sketch with their male actors cross-dressing or representing a very emasculated gay character. One persona in particular to highlight was Capitão Gay (Captain Gay), a Super-Man parody covered feathers who solved problems “no man or woman could solve” (Capitão Gay, 1981) with the help of a very dubious magic wand. The gay superhero was attacked both by the moralist, who thought this would promote homosexuality and by the LGBTQ+ community, which accused the character of perpetuating stereotypes. More recently, there was Ferdinando Show, an interview show featuring Ferdinando, a comic character who used the art of drag, musical performances and loads of gay slang in his talk show.

Above: (4) Capitão Gay (right) and his helper Carlos Suely (left) in their famous costumes. / Below: (5) Ferdinando, interpreted by actor Marcus Majella.

The trans community also had its representation on the TV screens. Rogéria was the first to appear, as a guest in Chacrinha’s Talent show. Her fame led her to receive the title of “the transvestite of the Brazilian family”. Nany People, another trans comedian, and actress followed the legacy of Rogéria and has been featured in plays and soap operas. Another celebrity to mention is Roberta Close. She started out as the ad girl for a closets campaign and later on she sold out 200k copies of a Playboy magazine (Kfouri, 1984). Close had the looks of the beauty standards for a woman at the time and, therefore, was an easy target for the objectification and projection of male desires. Nevertheless, Roberta got famous to the point of receiving backlash from both sides: the conservatives were outraged by the idea of having a trans woman as a national sex-symbol, while feminist groups saw on Close a clear representation of sexist male desire.

Above: (6) Roberta Close in the beginning of her career.

Back to the chronological order, in the 1990s the world suffered from the AIDs crisis and Brazil had its martyrs from popular music who carried out this cross. Cazuza and Renato Russo were famous names in the music industry, adored by the public (mainly the youth) as rock stars and came out as gay during the 80s. They were far from the stereotypical gay man propagated by the media, which allowed them to merge their romantic/sexual life as part of their regular public and creative career. Cazuza and Russo were HIV positive and made public through lyrics their experiences with the disease and sexuality, contrary to what older generations icons - such as Matogrosso (1992) and Veloso (Fraga, 1993) - did at the time, separating themselves to any comparison to the LGBTQ+ community.

Through this quick flashback, we can glance at the permissiveness of the queer representation in Brazilian mainstream culture. This phenomenon is dependent of a few factors: it is either a “polished” version that is in accordance with heteronormative standards, such as the looks of Roberta Close or the lack of similarities between Cazuza and the advertised gay man; or it represents something exaggerated and different enough to either spark exotification - like Ney Matogrosso’s performance - or to be the pun of the joke - as did Capitão Gay. This so-called ‘acceptance’ is according to the malleability of society to identify similarities that don’t offend the heteronormative system or differences so evident that make those individuals to be treated as something mysterious and possibly beyond-human. Nevertheless, it is important to recognize the path that these personalities built to contribute to the integration of the LGBTQ+ community outside of the margins and into pop culture.

References

Capitão Gay (1981) Viva O Gordo. Rede Globo, 9 March.

D'Araujo, M.C. (Unknown) Fatos e Imagens: artigos ilustrados de fatos e conjunturas do Brasil. Available at: https://cpdoc.fgv.br/producao/dossies/FatosImagens/AI5 (Accessed: 7 January 2020).

Fraga, P. (1993) ‘Caetano ataca New York Times no programa do Jô’, Folha de S.Paulo, 30 September.

Kfouri, J. (ed.) (1984) ‘Lídia Bizzocchi (especial: Roberta Close)’, Playboy, March.

Matogrosso, N. (1978) ‘Ney Matogrosso fala sem make up’. Interview with Ney Matogrosso. Interviewed by Vânia Toledo and Nelson Motta for Interview (n.5), May, p. 4-7.

Pereira, E. (1982) ‘Ney, em liberdade moral’, Journal da Tarde, 13 November, p.7.

Vaz, D. P. (1992) Ney Matogrosso: Um cara meio estranho. Rio de Janeiro: Rio Fundo Editora.

Figures list

1 - Para a caracterização, o figurino trazia brilho, meia arrastão e maquiagem pesada (2012) Available at: http://redeglobo.globo.com/globoteatro/bis/noticia/2013/09/relembre-momentos-marcantes-da-carreira-do-grupo-dzi-croquettes.html (Accessed: 7 January 2020).

2 - Maia, J. ( circa 1970) Ney Matogrosso, o showman brasileiro. Available at: https://imagesvisions.blogspot.com/2013/11/ney-matogrosso-o-icone-camaleao-do.html (Accessed: 7 January 2020).

3- Amor À Vida (2013) Rede Globo, 13 January, 21:00.

4- Viva O Gordo (1981) Rede Globo, 9 march.

5- Fernando Show (2015) Multishow, 10 August.

6- Fala cinco idiomas: o inglês, o francês, o alemão, o português e o italiano (2015). Available at: https://entretenimento.r7.com/famosos-e-tv/fotos/musa-dos-anos-80-roberta-close-aparece-com-o-rosto-irreconhecivel-em-rede-social-compare-06102019#!/foto/8 (Accessed: 7 January 2020).

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hopingfordawn · 7 years

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/1-99 of the ‘Get to know me’ meme ;3

You are such an overachiever, Em. *sighs* Well, here it is:

1) Sexuality? Pansexual2) If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? I would have to go for Wentworth Miller. Why? Well, there is alot about him that I admire, his strength to be open and speak so freely about his troubles with Depression, Suicide and Eating Disorders. The troubles with being homosexual and in the spotlight. He is a very intelligent men with a very troubled past that I identify myself very much with. I would love to be able to sit opposite him and talk to him about his experience with his struggles, about my experiences with it and what he, as a much more mature person, would give me with on my further journey. He has made it so far, overcome so many obstacles and I wish that I am able to do the same.3) Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.From: Derecho Penal 2, Parte Especial “un estado de completo bienestar físico, mental y social, y no meramente la ausencia de enfermedad o invalidez.” - Tema 03: Lesiones Leves y Graves

4) What do you think about most?Honestly? About 90% of the time I imagine myself being someone else and having adventures. Basically, I am living fanfictions in my head, constantly.5) What does your latest text message from someone else say?“Dad sent it.” - My sister6) Do you sleep with or without clothes on?With. Definitely with.7) What’s your strangest talent?8) Girls…. (finish the sentence); Boys…. (finish the sentence)Girls AND Boys are works of art. Why would I need 2 sentences for that?9) Ever had a poem or song written about you?No. Who would ever do that?10) When is the last time you played the air guitar?When I was about 7 and then my sister told me, repeatedly, that I was embarrassing.11) Do you have any strange phobias?It’s less strange per se, as in a weird form of it. I hate small bugs/ spiders etc. But ONLY the very small ones. I am totally fine with the large ones. Give me a really large and hairy spider and chances are I will try to pet it. But the small ones? You never know where they are! They disappear so fucking quickly! What if they crawl in your ears, what if they are hiding in your hair, what if they crawl up your butt… I don’t know it just scares the fuck out of me.And phone calls *coughs*12) Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?Haven’t we all? As a child almost everything went up there. Especially small ball shaped objects that I later couldn’t retrieve without help… those memories.13) What’s your religion?None. I have nothing against beliefs. But I am against what it leads to and it is so sad that it comes to that. I believe, that everyone has the right to do whatever they want to do, as long as they don’t hurt anyone. Everyone has their freedom, but their freedom ends, where they start to take away the freedom of others. All the wars, the witch trials, the homophobia, the way woman are still seen as less than men. The nonacceptance of other religions. I don’t need religion to know, that I shouldn’t hurt anyone, kill anyone, steal. I don’t need religion to be a good human being. And when someone tells me, believing in God makes them happy, then I am happy for them, because what is right for me is not necessarily right for other people, too. 14) If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?Buying something and making my way back home. Or being on my way to a tech-store looking at their franchise. Probably on my way to or back from college. 15) Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?I would love to be in front of the camera, but I am so uncomfortable with myself that I can not be in front of a camera without hating everything I see afterwards. So at the moment. Probably behind the camera while I silently wished I was in front of it.16) Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?I don’t have a thing like a favorite band. I like songs, not bands, normally. I have a wide variety of music genre on my playlist. But who do I really, really like? Probably Sia, I adore her and her music. The fact that her songs are about such dark themes most of the times and she works them into pop music without them sounding too happy, that’s art.I have a huge respect for her, with all of her personal problems to have still had such success gives me hope in my future.17) What was the last lie you told?“I’m fine. Everything is alright here.” - To my mom.18) Do you believe in karma?No. If it did exist, the really bad people wouldn’t be so successful. Why do so many, extremely good people suffer so much? I wish it did, really, I do.19) What does your URL mean?Well, for one it is a play on the Title from the Game “Until Dawn”, but on the other hand it means: Waiting for a light to break the darkness. Hoping for the morning to come. Because even though I am still struggling, I am also still hoping for it to pass.20) What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?My greatest weakness: My mind. My greatest strength: I care a lot about others. (Is that a strength?)21) Who is your celebrity crush?Rami Malek. Does it count as a crush even though I would never want to be in a relationship with him? I mean, I love him, but I don’t see myself dating him. Not as a woman. This is awkward. 22) Have you ever gone skinny dipping?No. Not after the age of maybe 8.23) How do you vent your anger?Crying. When I was at one of the hospitals they had this sound proof room I would go to, just to scream. But sadly, mostly eating until it hurts and I puke.24) Do you have a collection of anything?Sadly, no. :C25) Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Fuck the phone. I hide from it when it rings. Video chatting all the way.26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?That’s a tough question. I am not extremely unhappy with my character as a person, because technically I know I am not a bad person. But I am unhappy with so many things about me that I can not with a straight face say that I am happy with who I am today.27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?I love the sound of the wind, especially when it is blowing strongly through the leaves of the trees. And I hate the sound a fork makes when it scratches against a plate. 28) What’s your biggest “what if”?What if I had had all the knowledge that I have now, when was a child? I could have kept my mother from staying in a doomed relationship for the sake of her children. I wouldn’t have spent so many years, trying to die without even knowing why I felt that way, I could have worked on my problems properly so much sooner. I would have come out as trans to my parents before puberty hit me and avoided the changes in my body. But the most important thing: I would have known, that my mother, well my grandmother who raised me and who I called mother my whole life, would suffer a stroke and we would have been able to help her. Actually help her instead of her having to live the last years of her life in agony. 29) Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Yes and Yes. To the ghost, yes even though I know that it is probably farfetched. But everything in this world is about energy, our life is energy. What we perceive as “soul” is energy. After we die, our energy doesn’t just disappear, physics has thought us that energy only ever changes forms. So if it doesn’t disappear, what happens to it? Would it be possible that some remnants stay and we perceive them as “ghosts”? To aliens: To be honest? You would be crazy not to believe in aliens. The universe is endless and always expending. We have an unlimited amount of universes and planets out there. An unlimited amount of possibilities for life in Space outside of our Planet. To believe that we are the only ones in an unending amount of possibility is mathematically impossible. So aliens? Yeah, definitely.30) Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.Right arm: Pullover draped over a chair.Left arm: Matryoshka31) Smell the air. What do you smell?Nothing. I am allergic and my nose is constantly blocked. I hate my life.32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?AWO Psychiatric Center Intensive Care, Worst Hospital stay ever33) Choose East Coast or West Coast?I have to go with East Coast, only because the west coast is too close to the edge of the world map for me to be comfortable with.34) Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?Honestly? I listen to songs, I don’t ever look at their faces. Erm. I have no idea how the singers I listen to look like? But I think Halsey looks fantastic although she is technically the same gender as me… oh well.35) To you, what is the meaning of life?Be happy. Enjoy it. At the end of it, be able to look back and say “Yeah, that was a fucking great time”. 36) Define Art.Can’t be defined. Art is relative.37) Do you believe in luck?Ooooohhhh yes. Luck exists alright. And it loves to just forget about me.38) What’s the weather like right now?Burning hot outside. Freezing cold inside. 39) What time is it?13.30 Midday.40) Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?No, I don’t have a license. I can drive, but I am not allowed to.41) What was the last book you read?Mental Ills and Bodily Cures - Psychiatric Treatment in the first half of the Twentieth Century by Joel Braslow -> I recommend it, incredible read. Very informative!42) Do you like the smell of gasoline?Oh please no. I get headaches from it.43) Do you have any nicknames?*sighs* I was called Sissi-pissy in school. Because it rhymes so well. Assholes.Fatty. The usual.44) What was the last movie you saw?Spider-man: HomecomingIncredible Movie. I really loved it. Best Spider-man yet, in my opinion!45) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?Accident or self inflicted? Erm. Accident would be, when I was about 9, I think, I was in a car accident with my father and sister. And we used to make the backseats of the car into a flat surface, to make it into some kind of bed for the ride over to Spain (it used to take us almost 2 days then). My father would strap sheets on it etc, make cocoons so we could hide inside them and safe if something were to happen, but I had just fought with my sister over who would get to sit shotgun, and she won, and I was mad, so I didn’t get inside the sheets ride away and that’s when we were hit by a car. And I remember it felt like flying, and I hit something hard with my right forearm. Next thing I know is, I was bleeding so badly, but it didn’t hurt and my father was frantic. Of course an ambulance was called but it didn’t hurt, you know? It really wasn’t that bad. But my father kept telling me to cry, to make it looks worse than it was. To just, make fuss. So I did. And when the ambulance came, I was crying and I boarded it and the first I said to the paramedic was, I will never forget it: “This is so cool! I have never been on an ambulance!” I remember he started laughing. He wrapped me up, later on the driver had to pay me a thousand euros for my pain and my vacation was ruined because I wasn’t allowed to go into the sea. Self inflicted would be, erm, well. I downed a whole bottle of promethazine, slit both my wrists open and and almost bled out on the hospital bathroom floor. Woke up three days later in another Hospital intensive Care Ward . Bit’s and pieces of those three days are still lodged in my head and, it was awful. I was so out of it, I only know I was strapped to the bed because I remember waking up one time and seeing the cuffs on the bedside table and being scared, telling the nurse that I swear I didn’t steal them, I didn’t. Stupid shit. My liver still hasn’t really recovered.46) Have you ever caught a butterfly?As a child a caught a ton! i used to run around with a box and every time I caught one I put them inside with the others, but about an hour later when I had to go home, I would let all free again.47) Do you have any obsessions right now?Rami Malek: Do I have to say more?48) What’s your sexual orientation?See question 1.49) Ever had a rumor spread about you?Yes. A huge amount of times. Fucked me up.50) Do you believe in magic?Not sure. I wish it did exist though.51) Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?Depends on what kind of wrong they did me.52) What is your astrological sign?Gemini53) Do you save money or spend it?Both, I guess. I spend a part and save another.54) What’s the last thing you purchased?Food. *laughs*55) Love or lust?Love56) In a relationship?Nope.57) How many relationships have you had?One, if you could call it that.58) Can you touch your nose with your tongue?No.59) Where were you yesterday?At home. No witnesses.60) Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?A small packet of mini nail files.61) Are you wearing socks right now?No and I am cold. :C62) What’s your favorite animal?I love them all equally. (But I think that owls are very neat, and polar foxes, too!)63) What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?Be yourself. There is no point in having someone like you for something you are not. If they don’t like for who you are, then it’s no real loss for you.64) Where is your best friend?On the other side of the world, in Germany, while I am currently in Peru. :C65) Spit or swallow?(;Swallow ;D(I don’t know, but this is my instinctual answer)66) What is your heritage?German, English, Peruvian, Chinese, Chile, Spanish, Russian and I don’t know what else. 67) What were you doing last night at 12 AM?Reading Coldwave Fanfiction.68) What do you think is Satan’s last name?Feelgood.That was the first that came to mind. He must feel good about himself, punishing all the bad guys. Why does he have such a bad reputation? Isn’t he more of the supernatural version of a Judge? Never made the rules, he just deals the punishment.69) Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?Of course. Who hasn’t? ;)70) Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?Honestly? Yes. I think so. And that’s the weird part, for all I don’t I don’t like myself. If I was my friend, I would love me, I would coddle me. So why can’t I do that with myself?71) You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?Jump in, get the dog out. Search for a new job. Because I wouldn’t want to work for such a fucktard anyway. And I would make a public statement and he would be so fucked.72) You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?I don’t know if I would tell anyone, because they would immediately change the way they act around me and start to use up my time. I think I would start making amends and visiting all of the important people in my life on my own time and in my own way. I would Definitely go to amusement parks. Go to the movies. Just in general have a good time with my friends and family. But normal. Without the gloom hanging over their heads. And of course I would be afraid. When the time runs up I guess I would tell them, because you always need someone to talk to and I wouldn’t want to die alone. And I know that is a huge burden, but I think I would be allowed to be egoistical in this moment. I would be so fucking afraid but I guess, that is only human.73) You can only have one of these things; trust or love.You cannot love without trust. So I go with trust.74) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?“Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me…” All Star by Smash Mouth75) What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?085476) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?When you can say that your partner is not only your lover but also your best friend.77) How can I win your heart?Be my friend. Be yourself. And if we are compatible, then we might work out. :)78) Can insanity bring on more creativity?Yes. Because Insanity gives you another kind of reality that you can then depict with art and for everyone else, it is different and therefore more creative than what they normally see.79) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?When I moved away from my mother to my father. In that time it was the best decision I could have made. Even though now, that I am older, I realize that my father is not the man I thought he was. My mother was not good for me then, she has changed a lot since.80) What size shoes do you wear?German: 39Us: 7,5UK: 5,581) What would you want to be written on your tombstone?Haven’t thought about it. Finally chilling? No Idea.82) What is your favorite word?Authentic 83) Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.Beat84) What is a saying you say a lot?“No hay mal que por bien no venga.”There is no bad that doesn’t come to bring to bring good with it. Basically. Anything bad also has something positive in it’s heart.85) What’s the last song you listened to?Centuries by Fallout Boy86) Basic question; what’s your favorite color/colors?Blue, Green, Purple and Blood red87) What is your current desktop picture?Sadly I can’t put it here but it is a picture of a fantasy forest.88) If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?Tough question, because the obvious answer would be Trump, but even though he is a HUGE asshole. He is not the real problem right now. You what I mean? The ones who pull the strings are not the ones who show their faces.So if Trump goes, another asshole follows. Nothing much would change. But, because I don’t know right now who really would make a difference, I’ll still go with Trump.89) What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?I don’t know. I am very honest. The bigger question is: Who would I be afraid to tell the truth to? My family. My parents.90) One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?Ask hopefully: Ahkmenrah?As long as all of them look as hot as Rami I am set.91) You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?Body morphing. I could be a guy (finally). a real guy. I would never grow older, because I chose my cells to stay the same. I may not have healing abilities in the old school way, but if I ever have a wound, I morph my body to close it, so in some way, I still have healing abilities. I want to fly, I turn into a bird, or just grow wings. I want to be another person. I change appearance. So yea, body morphing.92) You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?When my grandmother/ mother was around and I lay on her chest and we slept we slept, and I heard her heartbeat beneath me. I felt like he world was alright. Everything was going to be fine. I was at peace. I felt safe.93) You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?My first suicide attempt and the after. The looks on my parents faces. The mortification I felt. It was horrifying.94) You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?Why music celebrity? And why does it have to be about sex? I would rather be best friends! Erm, Singer from Imagine Dragons? Was the first to come to mind. That’s it. No deeper meaning about that.95) You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?But lodging is paid for, too, right? Los Angeles. Hollywood.96) Do you have any relatives in jail?Not that I know of. But my cousin was convicted of theft a few times as a teenager. 97) Have you ever thrown up in the car?Proud to be able to say: No.98) Ever been on a plane?Even prouder: No.99) If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?Every single one of you is wonderful. And every single one of you is entitled to their own decisions, beliefs and feelings. Stop hurting each other over disagreements. Just live in peace and accept your differences.

#About Myself #ghostinhumanshape

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