#Hiccup was the first fictional character that I really saw myself and my struggles in
Me: what I'm totally neurotypical idk what you're talking about-
The the little annoying voice inside my head that I argue with for fun: Remember that summer after eighth grade where you watched How to Train Your Dragon four times every single day for two months and by the time summer was over you could quote the entire goddamn movie by heart?
Me: what that didn't- This is Berk, it's twelve days north of hopeless and a few degrees south of freezing to death. It is located solidly on the meridian of mis-
tracks [kim taehyung]
writer: yellow hippo
genre: short story, fan fiction, slice of life
1 train ride.
2 struggling souls.
3 things - Realizations. Friendship. New journey.
Where would their last stop be?
character/s: kim taehyung [ace], jade [oc]
• 𝓘 𝓶𝓲𝓼𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓽𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓹𝓼 𝓸𝓷 𝓢𝓾𝓷𝓭𝓪𝔂 •
It was just one Sunday when we met. You were sitting there, staring out the window as the buildings pass us by. It was so serene. It was as if you were at peace. I had my own smile then as I stood in front of you. I couldn't hide my fondness of how you looked. So calm. I wish I was too. For moment, at least, I was. Thanks to you.
"Have a seat, miss." Your deep and husky tone brought me out of my trance. I stared at you, paling as I realized i must've looked dumb with a smile on.
"Oh! Uhm. Thanks." I stuttered back as I sat in your place, my head down, eyes on your shoes.
I couldn't raise my head up, still shy and stunned. Also because my anxiety started to creep back in as people stared when I sat. It was too much. Why is sitting down such a big deal? Should it be? What's wrong with me? But then I hear you again and everything just melts inside me. Your laugh was so cute. It made the smile creep back up my face.
My eyes still trained on your feet, I noticed how they kept on moving. You might be having a hard time balancing? The train ride is not a smooth one especially now that the trail kept making zigzags.
"Have a seat, mister." I patted the now empty space beside me, hoping that you would take the seat beside mine. You smiled down at me as you occupied the seat. Your smile is so blinding. It leaves me breathless. How can one train ride make you smile? Is it the view? Is it the fact that it's a Sunday, families buzzing on the ride as they make small talk of their one-day vacation?
How I wish I could smile genuinely like you.
• 𝗕𝘂𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝗯𝗼𝗱𝘆 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗿𝗱 𝗶𝘁, 𝗲𝘅𝗰𝗲𝗽𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂. •
It was so embarrassing how I kept missing my balance. Her eyes were always on my feet. I feel like I'm being judged. Is it too obvious that this was my first train ride ever? I must look so pathetic.
"Are you okay?" The girl asked me after some moments of silence between us. I laughed awkwardly, my sweaty palms hidden behind my neck.
"That obvious, huh?"
"Obvious?" Her eyes, my favorite shade of green that I can't put a name on, stare at me. Question marks all over her face.
"Yeah. Obvious that this was my first train ride?" My voice so low, not wanting anyone else to hear me.
"Oh, it is?" She covers her mouth as she giggles quietly. "Don't worry. It's our secret then."
She smiles so sweetly. No judgement in her voice and eyes. Why couldn't I have met her sooner? Why now when everything is-
"Hey? Don't think too much about it. Everyone has their own first experience on train rides. I did too."
Warm. So warm. The sun from the window feels so warm as she talks about her first train ride when she was in high school. She was fun to talk to. No awkward silence once she remembers another story in the middle of her current one.
"So, where's your stop?" She takes a breath as she finishes her story.
"No where. I mean-" I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped me. Her face when was priceless. And she even dare ask if I was homeless or if I ran away. She was willing to take me in, a total stranger, in her home.
Why did I have to meet her? Why just now? The year has what? More than 300 days and I had to meet her at the most unconventional time of my life.
I told her how I just wanted a look at the city from a different view since my hotel window, although better than any paintings in my hotel room, was getting too repetitive for me. Always the same view of the same city. I told her how suffocated I felt even if I was free to leave anytime. I told her how I wanted to have my windows change views every time I wake up.
"I hate routines." The train arrived at it's next stop. People come and go. "So, your stop?" I added quietly, my eyes passing by her own green ones before coming back to the train windows.
"I get down at the last station. That's where my school is. Just a few minutes of walking after this long ride."
"Last station it is, then."
• '𝓒𝓪𝓾𝓼𝓮 𝓘 𝓭𝓸𝓷'𝓽 𝓱𝓪𝓿𝓮 𝓲𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓶𝓮.•
"Last station it is, then."
A joyrider. Must have all the time in the world. Nothing but views to think of.
"A photographer?" I asked the man as I spot his camera bag.
"Hmm. You could say so, yeah, I guess?" Again, I am met with a serene smile.
A click and a flash caught me off guard. My eyes see green spots for a moment as I try to blink away the blurriness.
"Sorry about that." He chuckles as he puts his camera away.
"You shouldn't have done that. Nothing worth to see here." I gesture over my face, my palms sweating as I try to laugh my anxiety away. Not here Not now. Not even after the people has moved on from the quick flash of light from our seat. Not ever, please.
"Hey. Are you ok, miss? I'm really sorry. I just wanted a candid shot of you because-"
"Yes, I'm ok. Just not used with cameras and all. Those things hate me that they almost always break after having me as their target."
"How come? Well, I think my camera likes you. Not broken at all. See?" He takes out his camera and offers it to me.
He shows me the photo he took of me, as well as his hotel room window view. He showed me a picture of him with his dog. A picture of him and his older brothers. Pictures of other places he's been to. Beautiful. Everything he took a picture of was beautiful. Even the one he took of me. I looked normal. I looked surprised, but happy. Like I had no worries aside from the butt sore I would get from sitting down from this long train ride.
He took his camera back. He stared down at it on his lap, his serene smile never leaving his lips as my candid shot reflects on the screen. I can't help but smile as well. I laughed lightly. At least someone appreciates me even in an unconventional way.
• 𝗜𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 '𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿. •
Another stop up ahead and we fell in the most comfortable silence I have ever felt. My eyes shift to the books on her lap and some paper peaking in the middle pages of the book. Interesting. Mythology?
"Which program are you in?" I pointed towards her stack of books on her lap as I asked her.
"Literature student. And film. I'm actually taking two majors-" A sigh and a content smile on her face. "-got in both programs for being a scholar since I was younger."
"Whoa. You must be smart then. Congrats!" I offered her my hand and can't help but chuckle at how tiny her hands are. Tiny and soft. So fragile.
"What's so funny?" Her nose is scrunched up as she hits my shoulders lightly.
"Ah nothing. Your hands. They're just so small. So delicate like some kind of petal. If you squeeze too much, it might break."
She opens her hands and stretches her fingers, massaging them, a small pout on her lips.
"They'll grow longer you'll see."
"Wanna bet?" I asked, smirking her way. "Once you've written a book or published any kind of film, I should be one of the first few to see the finished product. Call?"
Her face falls and takes a deep breath.
"That might not happen anytime, mister. I might die of old age even before doing anything out of my dreams." She looks down her shoes and I noticed a tear drop on her book.
Looking at her slumped shoulders, I could not help myself from rubbing circles on her, hoping it could somehow calm her down. But her shoulders shiver even more now, hiccups irregularly escaping her every breath.
"Sorry. I'm so sorry about this. God what's gotten into me. Must be because I only got a few hours of sleep. So many papers due this month. Professors bombarding us with papers before letting us actually breathe for the summer."
I offer her my handkerchief as she starts rubbing her at her eyes angrily.
"Eyeliner-" She points at her lids. "I might get this dirty."
"Nah. You might need it for later as well. Like you said. Summer. We can't have you sweating. I need my subject all fresh and pretty." I put the handkerchief just on top of her books and look down at our shoes instead, humming quietly as she wipes her tears away.
"This is nothing. I am nothing. I won't be able to agree with the bet even if I wanted to."
"Hey. It's ok. You're ok. It might be a long train ride-" I chuckle as her eyes crinkle from giggling. "-but you'll be something. You are already something. No. Someone. A someone worth the wait at the end of the ride. You'll make it something. I trust that. At least have my trust when you feel like nothing, alright?" I point at my handkerchief as I pat her head.
'You are already being something by not running away from your dreams. You already are making something. A progress that I crave for myself.'
The train chugs on as we roll back to another silence.
• 𝓦𝓸𝓾𝓵𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓵𝓸𝓸𝓴 𝓭𝓸𝔀𝓷 𝓪𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓮𝓮𝓽? •
I kept my stare down, afraid of the judging eyes all around me - beside me - if I look back up. I look like a panda. Or worse, a clown. Great. I just ruined my make up. I have no time to retouch since I have reporting on my first class. What a reporter. A clown. An ugly clown who has nothing on her once the 'train ride' ends. It was always nothing.
Fighting for what I want has always been useless. I just made myself into the nothing that I am and will always be. Why did I even bother accepting the scholarship program? I won't be the writer that I want to be nor the film director that I always dream of being. I'll crash in an office job after graduation just to earn for a living. Who am I kidding. My dreams can't feed my family. I'm so selfish for wanting this when I won't be anything by then.
I can't bring myself to look up. He's something at least. He's traveling everywhere and taking the places he's visited with him.
"You're the something between us, mister." My head still down, but I saw him turn away from the window and towards me. A hum. But why does it sound so hopeless? So lost? My eyes veer away from my shoes to his. Black leather shoes. So shiny. Reminds me of his eyes.
"Something. Huh." He stands as I feel someone else take his place beside. Did I scare him Off? Only then did I look up and see him standing in front of me, he smiles down at the old lady now in his place. I smile at the lady as well as she nods and smiles towards us both.
"I might be something to someone, but I'm nothing to myself." He sighs, his smile turning melancholy as I stare up. I was about to contradict him but he surprises me as he suddenly kneels from where he stands. I avoid his eyes by looking behind me. A slight rain has made the window all blurry to see outside. I feel a sudden tug on my shoes and I look down at him.
"I'm running away from everything and making myself fall into nothing. But you? You're running into something. You might feel like it's nothing, but the fact that you're running towards something. Well. That's something. Something from the nothing like me who runs away from everything." He whispers low, only for my ears to hear.
He stands back up as I stare down at my shoes, knots tied perfectly in place, not knowing of what to make of what he just said.
• 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝗼𝗻. •
It's been silent for the past stops now. Both of us stuck with our own thoughts. But it's not awkward nor uncomfortable. Just a little heavy on the heart because just one more stop and it's the end of the track. What more is there to talk about? She said so herself that there won't be any betting. Her dreams and mine all getting further away as the train chugs forward. At least she fought somehow. I just ran and hid for as long as I can. But this has to end. Every ride has to end.
"So." She cleared her throat as the final announcement for her stop is heard over the speakers. "This is my stop, mister?"
"Ace Wilson. And please, drop the 'mister'. I graduated just a few months ago. Not as old as you think." I chuckled as I held my hands towards her, offering help her with the books.
"Jade Myers. Or just Jade. Thanks." She smiled as she put a book on my waiting palms. "Are you sure I'm not messing your schedule?" She smiles up at me, her height reaching just above my shoulders. What a tiny thing and yet she is fighting a battle. Winner or not, it's the effort that counts, right?
"Schedule? What schedule? Like I said. I'm just running away from everything. Might as well take a break from all that before I run further. There's no rush for me."
She leads the way. The road, or rather the gravel path, making scrunching noises every stomp of our foot. It was enough noise to cover the silence we've wrapped our self into.
• 𝓛𝓲𝓴𝓮 𝓢𝓽𝓻𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓮𝓻𝓼 𝓓𝓸 •
(click for song inspiration of this story)
I look up at him, my eyes squinting close because of the sun, as we near my school gates.
Just a name and his little stories. That's all there is to him. Questions he will leave though. Questions that I will be facing after losing my fight.
Will he start his own battles when I end mine? Would his run bring him somewhere? Would I meet him again someday when I start running away, or 'if' I run away? Will I stop where he is if I do run? What then? Why stop?
I may know his name, but he will remain a stranger to me.
"Thanks again, Ace." I grab my book from him as I wave goodbye, entering the school gate. He stands there, his serene smile back from when I first saw him. Back from where we started.
Strangers, with only names.
• 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝘀𝗮𝘄 𝗺𝗲 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗹𝗼𝗼𝗸 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗮𝘆? •
I wish I rode a different train cart. Or maybe I should've never rode a train in the first place. I could've ridden a plane and flew back to where people were waiting for me. I could've stayed home and not get lost. I could've continued fighting even if I see myself losing. At least I fought and lost with no regrets. There is harm in trying, but there is also knowledge. Knowing that you fought though you knew your fate is a win in itself. You at least fought. Your fall would not be in vain.
Why did I have to meet Jade in the most inconvenient time. She left me with regrets. But also a new found determination to fight. I will keep running. But this time, I will run towards my dream. I'll fight if I have to.
• 𝓣𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓭 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓯𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓹𝓼 𝓪𝓬𝓻𝓸𝓼𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓻𝓸𝓸𝓶.•
The thought of just running away keeps climbing up my 'to-do list' once I graduate. Should I really just run from the reality my family wants to thrust upon me and go for what I want instead? Yes. Yes I do want to run. I want to be what I want to be. I want to continue being selfish. I want to keep fighting. Is the fight and the run worth all that I'll leave behind?
My heels clack on the corridor as I run to my first class. Looking like a clown for my smudged make up, but who the fuck cares? I've decided to fight. The smudge got nothing on the blood I will shed for my win. I can always wipe it all away.
A serene smile left my own lips as I dug his handkerchief out of my pocket. Yes, I can always wipe away the blood shed and run.
I want to feel the wind on my face and fingertips. I want the shiver of excitement. I want to feel. I want to be free.
And I will be, because I'm running away.
I open the door to the classroom and I know that my run has begun. No turning back. The whistle started the race.
I'm running away.
• 𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓶𝓮, 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝘄𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝓽𝓸𝓰𝓮𝓽𝓱𝓮𝓻? •
Having different tracks, but the ride would end at the same station. Not once but twice would their fates collide. But for now one train is moving onward and the other stops at a station. But they will again meet at the end of the track.
For now, they are simply Jade Myers and Ace Wilson.
When Reality Starts to Falter - Part 10
Pairings: Jensen X actress!Reader, Dean Winchester X hunter!Reader Ex!Jared X Reader
Warnings: a teeny bit of angst in the beginning, because of sad!reader and her confession, but the rest is just straight, pure fluff
Word Count: 2.3k
Everything blurs together, and you’re not sure what happened after the call. You only know that you ended up in a crumpled mess on the cold tile of the kitchen with Jensen’s phone on the floor next to your hands. Luckily, the phone is unarmed and scrape free in the fall, but the same can’t be said for you and your heart as it thumps in a minute regret. Overall, you are satisfied with your decision to call her, but it doesn’t make the whole situation hurt any less.
When you hear the click of the front door opening, your feet find their way to a standing despite your desire to remain on the floor for eternity. Wiping the tears from your face, you cautiously walk into the living room and prepare to face the aftermath.
Tugging mindlessly at your sleeves, your hands are covered and quivering. When he sees you, Jensen lets out a long breath and holds his arms out to you as if he already knows what is going through your mind without asking.
You read the lines on his face like a book; one that tells the story of love, and sympathy. So many words jumping out at you and you read them as they come, or perhaps they buzz in your ears like whispers. Whatever the case may be, you find it to be calming and take gradual steps towards his open arms.
Standing in front of him, he wraps his arms around you to pull you tightly against him, “it’s gonna be okay,” he whispers. “Everything is going to be just fine.” You can feel that he’s unsure of the words he’s speaking, but it warms your heart that he pushes aside his doubts to show security and strength to you.
“I know,” you mumble into his chest. “I fixed it,” you choke, the tears pouring onto his shirt.
Gently pulling you away, he scans your expression for answers to the questions in his mind. “What - what do you mean you ‘fixed it’?” he asks softly.
You shrug faintly, “I - I called her,” you say, voice quivering along with the rest of you and finger shaking in a point at the kitchen - phone still on the floor. His confused eyes match your gaze. “I told her I lied about it.”
Hiccuping now, the tears come quicker than your words can and his pressed face isn’t helping the bouncing in your stomach. He quickly relaxes his face and softens his voice, “why would you -” he starts. Bringing his hands to your arms, he dips his head down to your height. “What do you mean?” he says before pulling back up and looking around the room. “Here,” he says, guiding you towards the couch and plopping you onto the cushions before sitting next to you.
You rest your knee up on the couch and face him, wiping your face with your sleeves. You take a deep breath and tell him everything; how you went in for a beer, but saw his phone and decided to call her.
“I was angry when I told him to tell her. I didn’t think he would actually do it,” you say, shaking your head. “I - breaking them up is not what I wanted. That felt worse than I imagined it would. I don’t want drama. I don’t want to hurt her, I don’t want her to feel what I felt when I found out about them,” you breathe. “It’s painful, Jens,” you say, eyes back up at him as he nods. “It’s one of the worst feelings in the world; to be cheated on. And no matter how angry I was at them when it happened, I - I don’t want to hurt other people. Even if they hurt me.”
Taking a deep breath, you close your eyes momentarily. He brings a hand to your arm and rubs lightly. “I’m over it now,” you say. “I just want all of this to be over. I don’t care about him, and I don’t care about her,” you shout, not realizing how loud you are talking until you stop for another breath. Lowering your voice, you bring a hand to his face and cup his cheek. “I just care about you,” you smile, tilting your head slightly.
His eyes light up, a smile forming on his face. His hand lovingly tightens around your arm in response, not knowing what words to say. “You have been so, so amazing to me. Everything that you’ve done for me - I don’t even know how to begin in thanking you. You make me feel alive, something I haven’t felt in a long time, Jens. And - and it’s not even about any of that, really. I - “ saying the word, you let your mouth hang open. Your eyes move between his, and you watch the pink feel his smiling cheeks as you wonder if it’s too soon to tell him how you feel.
“Jensen, I-” Crap, why is this so hard? You think, shaking your head. You grip onto his arms, holding him stable in front of you as if you’re preparing for him to flee. “You are so caring, and genuine. You are attractive, which is really just a plus,” you giggle. “You have been my savior, my hero, Jens, and I think that I might be-” you stop again.
His face brightens, eyebrows no longer pressed together in confusion. Bringing his fingers to your face, he gently runs his thumb over your lips as a smile grows on his own. He watches your expression change as your head tips back just slightly. Slowly, he moves his hand to the side of your face. You close your eyes, letting him gently massage behind your ear, his hand caressing the side of your face.
The couch creaks as he shuffles closer to you. Bringing his free hand to your face, he pulls you into him and kisses you softly. With eyes clenched tightly together, you grip onto the collar of his shirt. He pulls his lips from yours, but keeps his forehead pressed against you. “Me too,” he whispers softly.
Keeping your hand on his shirt, your eyes shoot open as he pulls away. “Really?” you say it with an enthusiasm that makes him chuckle a bit.
“Yes, really,” he smiles, kissing you once more. “I’ve been single for a long time, Y/N, and I wanted to keep it that way to focus on work, but you-” he laughs barely, the air coming out of his nose as he shakes his head once. “I wasn’t expecting to meet someone that could change my mind so quickly, but I’ve been drawn to you since your first day on set. You are so beautiful inside and out. You are smart, and witty, and just incredible. You are brave and strong, and - and what you’ve just told me,” he shakes his head once more, almost in disbelief.
You hold your breath as he speaks. “How you said you lied in order to get them back together despite everything they put you through. That’s not something I would have done, but... I commend that. I think it’s stupid to put yourself through that kind of pain, but I also think that it’s incredibly brave and - and it’s selfless.”
A tear of relief finds a path down your cheek, and Jensen jumps to wipe it away. Your mind wanders off into a conversation from earlier, before Jared barged in. You know now that you can trust Jensen, and you don’t know exactly why or what it is, but you’re ready to tell him your secret. If Jared had known all of these years and never made it public, why would Jensen?
What feels like a wire in your jaw tenses and loosens as you search for a good starting ground for the topic, all the while Jensen has his hands on your arms. Your eyes are focused on your hands lying in your lap, “thank you,” you say, bringing your eyes to his.
His lips fold down at the corners as he nods before pulling his hands away. He rotates around to stand, “dinner?” he asks, looking down at you.
Before your mind has a chance to catch up, you throw your hand onto his arm and tug, “wait,” you say as he falls into the couch. “Sorry,” you laugh. “I just - I wanted to ask you something.”
He nods again, this time with a warm smile, “anything.”
“Have you ever-” you fidget with the sleeves of your shirt, twirling the cotton around your thumbs, accidentally pulling one of the threads out. When your eyes meet back up with his they suck you in, create a distraction. You focus on the string, using it to remind yourself of earlier. “You said ‘that’s my girl’ earlier, and I - I would like to bring that up again, if we can.”
His smile fades, the pink filling his cheeks once again. He nervously and embarrassingly chuckles again, head to the side as an awkward smile replaces the comfortable one, “aw, it’s just - just something that happens sometimes, I suppose.”
“I actually - I want to talk about my experience with that kind of thing,” you say. His expression thaws, changing back into the sympathy from before now that the spot light is off of him. “I struggle with... things.”
Your mind is neither here nor there, you can’t seem to collect enough thoughts to from words and explain the things you are feeling. Where to start and where to end, you wonder. You continue to fidget with the shirt as he patiently waits for you to continue and it’s exactly the push that you need.
“Jens, I have what some would call a problem,” you say confidently, looking back up at him. He only nods as he listens, “do you remember my second day on set, when Bell and Sam fought against the Djinn and Crowley came to save everyone?”
He nods once more. You swallow your fears, pressing on. “Well, I - I didn’t pass out because of lack of food and water. I mean, that could have been a part of it, but I get really wrapped up in my characters. Maybe Jared already told you about this, I don’t know,” you say, rolling your eyes. You roll the sleeves up your arms and place your hands in his.
“When I’m on set, I somehow diverge from myself. That day was especially difficult, and I don’t know the science behind it, but I was no longer Y/N for that take, or any others for that matter. I become Bell. I was and am her and that day I was fighting for my life. It sounds really silly coming out of my mouth and hearing it out loud, but it’s true. I don’t know why it happens, but it does. The hands that I chopped off of the actress, I - I thought they were real for that moment. I was living it, Jens. It’s like reality is on one hand, and fiction is on the other, and i’m constantly holding my own hands,” you blurt out, looking down to realize your hands are folded together, Jensen’s covering the two.
“Y/N,” he soothes. “That’s a lot more common than you might think,” he says softly. “I think that every actor deals with some form of that. You witnessed it from me earlier, and I’d be lying if I said that I never had to take a break in between heart-wrenching scenes because of how they effected me. I experience it, I know Jared has at one point. It’s not commonly talked about because I think, like I imagine you are, most people are afraid of being judged for it. So we keep it to ourselves, we let it fester.” He pauses, looking to the side as he thinks.
“You know what?” he says, lowering his head to catch your eyes. “I know someone who deals with it on the same level that you do.”
Bringing your eyes up to his, you feel a wave of relief wash over you. While you are a bit angry that Jared has dealt with the thing he told you was an ‘issue’, the relief is too strong to care.
“I can call her in the morning and set up a meeting if you’d like. For now, it’s late. Let’s try to get some sleep so we can be on time in the morning,” he smiles. “What do you say?”
You nod as he stands, holding his hands out in front of him to help you to your feet. Hand in hand, you walk back to the one room you haven’t set foot inside yet. He flips the light on and turns to face you, bringing his hands to the sides of your face.
Somehow, each of his kisses are the same and different. Each one carries a different emotion, a different story. Each kiss is either a question or an answer, and this one is both. The question of whether you can trust him is proposed and answered in just a quick moment as he lips are pressed tightly against yours.
Never have you felt so connected to a person and so quickly. You were never able to have non-verbal communication in this form with Jared, let alone have a rational conversation with him where you were on the same page. That was one of the areas you struggled most with him; communication.
With Jensen, though, you feel like you’ve been together for years. It’s a dangerous yet secure feeling that can’t really be explained. It’s like visiting a new beach, unsure of the patterns of the tide but familiar with the heat of the sun and prickling of the sand. It’s like falling for someone everyday at the same time of feeling like you’ve known them for your entire life. It’s getting to know the person you know. It’s home.
And falling asleep in his arms is more than sleeping next to a person you care about. It’s being protected and cared for, knowing you feel the same way as the other person. No doubts, no insecurities, just comfort.
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No Longer A Secret (Part 2)
Multiple Part Fiction
Characters: Team x Reader
A/N: I am so excited to be back with the vampires! Here goes part 2!
WARNING: FOUL LANGUAGE!
As your eyes slowly began to open you groaned as your felt the pounding in your head. Sitting up you heard chains rattling. Looking down at your hands you saw that you were chained at your wrists. You hear the door being unlocked before being pulled open. You lift your head to see Emily step in. “Were chains necessary?” You question lifting your arms.
“Only way to be sure that you’ll be contained.”
“Okay, so I lost control.” You say. “But really? He did so much worse than I did. At least I didn’t kill him. Be thankful for that.”
Emily rolled her eyes. “That’s besides the point.” She said leaning against the wall. “You lost control of your urges and you became a monster.”
“So now I’m a monster to you?” You say. Emily remained silent. “You think I choose this life? And don’t you think I’m trying to contain myself? It isn’t easy when every person you look at only tempts you to sink your teeth into their neck.”
“i know you didn’t choose this life, (Y/N), but you also have a duty to your country. If this leaks that an agent of the Bureau is a vampire you know how bad that’ll look? People already have trust issues with us, if they find out about you, Catherine and Rosalinda? It’ll spark so many problems and we could all lose our jobs for keeping this contained.”
“You just have to trust that i can do this. I love my job, Emily. My job is my life, not this fucking curse!” You shout. Your voice bouncing off the walls.
“Oh the lovely curse we were given.” You hear Rosalinda say as she steps into the room. “This room brings back many memories..” She said looking around the window.
“Oh great.. This is getting better and better.” You say sarcastically as you roll your eyes. Not only was your boss coming down you for making a mistake, but now your other vampire aunt is stepping in. What could possibly happen next?
“I remember when an enemy of mine locked me in here for weeks. Nearly starved to death..”
“Let me guess..” You say raising an eyebrow.
Rosalinda glanced at Emily. Emily looked back at her before nodding her head and leaving the room. Rosalinda to walked to the opposite window and wrapped her hands around two chains. “You know that vampires can’t be in the sunlight without their protector?”
“Rosalinda..” You beg. “Don’t do this.”
“It’s the only way you’ll learn your lesson.” She said tightening her grip around the chain in her left hand. “It’s how I learned mine.” She pulled down on the chain opening a window. Sunlight streamed into the room and onto your body. Your skin began to burn causing excruciating pain. Your screams filled the room.
“What’s going on down here?” Spencer said as he rushed down the stairs. He found Emily sliding down the wall pulling her knees to her chest. She cringed every time she heard you screaming. “What is Rosalinda doing to her?” Emily didn’t answer. “Goddammit Emily!” He shouts rushing over to the door. “You can’t let her torture (Y/N) like that.” He pulls open the door and runs in just as Rosalinda pulls the blinds open again. He stands in front of you blocking the light from touching you. “That is enough.” He says. “Can’t you see that she’s in pain? Just stop!”
“Spence..” You try to call out. You were so weak that you could barely stand up. Rosalinda closed the blinds and walked over to you. She bent down to your level.
“Curly fro here won’t always be able to protect you.” She says before standing up and leaving the room. Spencer reached in his pocket and pulled out a key to unlocked the cuffs. He then helped you up linking his arm underneath your shoulders to hold you up.
“I can’t believe you..” You hear JJ mutter to Emily as Spencer leads you towards the stairs.
Once upstairs of the archives building Spencer lays you on one of the couches as Tara slips your ring back onto your finger. Your skin starts to go back to normal and you begin to feel like your normal self. You still feel a little drowsy so Rossi suggests that they take back to DC to your apartment so you can rest up.
Feeling the warm sheets of your bed underneath your body you curl up into a ball. You lay there thinking about what Emily had allowed to happen to you. The pain was unbearable, you still couldn’t think straight. You still numb a little numb and light headed.
“...you became a monster..” Emily’s words echoed in your head. You rolled over onto your back staring at the ceiling. Was she right? Did you become the thing you always feared? You sat up and climbed out of bed. Walking out to the kitchen you reached into the liquor cabinet and pulled a bottle of whiskey. Filling a glass a teeny bit you drown the burning liquid before filling another. Before you knew it the glass was empty and you were sitting against the wall. Your knees pulled up and the empty glass dangling from your hand. You hear your apartment door open and you look over to see JJ walk in.
“You’re supposed to be resting.” JJ said as she walked over to you.
“What’s the point?” You say waving the glass around. JJ bends down in front of you and takes the bottle and glass away from you and setting it on the counter.
“Gosh you’re regret this later.” She said as she pulled you to your feet.
“I don’t think vampires...can get hangovers....JJ.” You say struggling to stand on your feet.
“Let’s get you back to bed.”
“No.” You say shaking your head. “I’d rather drown myself in alcohol because I’m a monster. At least that’s what Emily said.” You hiccup covering your mouth. “And besides... What do I have to live for anymore? I’m not working for the FBI anymore.” You say.
“Wait what?” JJ said.
“On the way home from Caldwell, I started to think.. Why stay somewhere where my coworkers and friends think I’m a monster? Emily’s right once again.” JJ helps you sit back on your bed. “If people find out that the FBI has been hiding this big of a secret than you all will lose your jobs. So why stay? Why put your jobs on the line because who I am now?”
“(Y/N), you can’t leave. Like you told Emily, this job is your life.” JJ said sitting next to you. “(Y/N), I knew how hard you worked your ass off for this job.”
“But I’m a vampire, JJ. I’m a monster.”
“Quit calling yourself that!” JJ exclaims. “You are not a monster. Sure you lost control of yourself but that was one time. You’ve been a vampire for three months and this is the first time that you’ve attacked anyone.”
“But I could have killed him, JJ. I’d be considered a murderer if he died right then and there.”
“Oh he’s going to die anyways in about five years.” JJ said rolling her eyes. “What he did is far worse that what you did to him.”
You sigh laying down under the covers. Emily was still right no matter what JJ said. You had become a monster. Truthfully you freaked yourself out with how you acted. It just came out of nowhere and you were incapable of stopping yourself. If you hadn’t been able to stop yourself his head would’ve been laying inches from the rest of his body. Before you knew it you were already asleep. When you had awaken next it was dark outside and inside your room and JJ had gone back home. Getting out of bed you went over to your closet and grabbed your suitcases. You began filling with shoes and clothes. Emptying each drawer one by one until everything was packed. You figured that if you left in the middle of the night than no one would know unless they came over to your apartment.
Dragging your bags out to the apartment you wrote a quick note and left cash for the remaining two months left on your lease. You filled your car with each bag and got in before driving away. Pulling up to the BAU you walk in and go up to the sixth floor. Upon arriving onto the floor you step out of the elevator to find the team gathered around the round table in the briefing room. You tapped the edge of the envelope on your fingers before heading to Emily’s office. Laying the envelope on her desk you quickly make your way out before any one of them can spot you.
Emily walked down the sidewalk after parking her car. She had gone straight to your apartment after finding your resignation on her desk. The snow was falling and had started sticking to her coat and hair. She stopped at the entrance when she spotted a figure leaning on the wall of the building. You push off the wall and walk into the light of the street light. “So I got your resignation..” Emily spoke up waving the envelope around. “This is how you’re going to deal with this situation?”
“This “situation” is my life, Emily.” You say walking closer to her. “To you I’m nothing but a monster who kills to stay alive. How can I work with someone who only sees me as someone who she wants to put away for endangering others. Like you said.. I’m risking all of you losing your jobs because of who I am. Well now you don’t have to anymore..” You say pulling your car keys from your pocket. “I’m leaving DC and meeting Rosalinda in Caldwell.”
“You’re going back there?”
“She called after I left my resignation.. Catherine escaped imprisonment again.” You explain. “So I’m resigning from the FBI to hunt down Catherine and be who I am now. I can’t be working a job that involves blood. I’ll only lose more control and I need help. You and I both that.”
“Of course I do..” Emily said following you to your car. “But we can help.”
“You can’t help Emily!” You snap. “You don’t know how it feels to want to rip into someone’s throat and drain every ounce of life from their body! Just standing here looking at you I want to just sink my teeth into your veins and not stop until I’m dropping your lifeless body to the ground. Is that you want? If not then just let me go. I’m not your agent anymore so just leave. The team has a case and right now they need you more than I do, believe me.” You climb into your car and start the engine. Putting the car in drive you start to drive off when something lands on your car denting the roof. Hitting the brakes you turn the car off and jump out. Standing on the roof of your car you see Catherine. Eyes red, teeth bared and looking straight at you.
“I heard you were going to hunt me down niece.” She said smirking. “So I thought I’d just come to you. Looks like I did a good job.” She hops off your car and walks over to you grabbing you by your throat. “Now you’ll know how I lived for over 200 years..” She throws you to the ground and starts to advance on Emily. Pulling yourself off the ground you start running at Catherine and tackle her to the ground.
“Emily, run!” You shout pinning Catherine to the ground. “Get of here! Go!”
“You’re ruining my plans!” Catherine shouts as she shoves you off. You fly through the air and slam into the side of the apartment building. Sliding down the ground you see Catherine stand in front of you. Lifting your head she pulls you up by your hair. “I won’t let you ruin my plans, deary.”
“Stay away from Emily.” You growl.
“And you think you can stop me?” She says laughing. “Oh newborns. They think they know everything about being a vampire. Well listen up sweetcheeks. You’ve only been a vampire for six months. I’ve been a vampire for over 200 years. I have more experience and skill. Cross me again and I will kill you. Rip out your heart and burn your body at the stake until you’re nothing but a pile of ashes.”
“Think again bitch.” You hear JJ say before a shot rings in the air. Catherine’s grip loosens on your hair and you watch her collapse to the ground. JJ walks over keeping her gun trained on Catherine.
“JJ?” You say.
“We got a distress signal from Emily. When we arrived here, we saw Catherine. Lucky for us we have a stash of bullets laced with vervain.” JJ explained. “And you have some explaining to do to the team.”
Pacing back and forth in the briefing room you pick at your nails. Hearing footsteps approaching you turn around just as the team files into the room one behind each other. They circles around the table and wait for you to speak. “Ummm.. So you’re all wondering why I’m leaving..”
“We can help you.” Penelope spoke up. “We’re a family. It’s what we do.”
“I appreciate you all wanting to help me..” You respond. “But this is my battle. Catherine is my family. She did this to me..”
“Then we’ll find a way to reverse it.” Spencer said. “There has to be a way.”
“Believe me, I’ve gone through every book in the archives. I couldn’t find anything on how to reverse the transformation.” You say before looking down at your feet. Your lip begins to quiver as a tear slips down your cheek. You sniffle lifting your head and looking to your right. “I’m a monster...” Your voice shakes as you speak. “I’ve struggled every day since I was turned to not rip into your throats and drain your blood.” You say clenching your jaw. “I can’t be around you all anymore without putting your lives and your own families’ lives in danger. And now that Catherine is back.. She’s out to get all of you. She wants revenge on the people that put her away for the second time. And that includes me..”
“We can fight her.” Luke said leaning on one of the chairs.
You shake your head. “You’re not understanding.. She already tried to go after Emily. What if she tries to go after the rest of you? I can’t protect all of you. The only way that I can is if I leave. If I leave than she’ll follow me. Her real target is Rosalinda and myself. Rosalinda put her away first and I put her away for the second time. I can’t lose more family.” A tears slips down her cheek. “It’s hard enough just standing here telling you that I’m leaving, don’t make it more hard for me to leave.”
Spencer was the first to step up. Her heart skipped a beat. He wrapped his arms around her. “At least I get to stay goodbye to you.” He whispered. His voice shaking.
“Gosh I’m going to miss your ramblings Spencer.” You whisper back. Your voice cracks and your bottom lip begins to quiver. “We’ll see each other again soon. I promise.”
“Alright boy wonder, my turn.” Penelope speaks behind you. Spencer pulls apart and goes back to his spot around the table. Penelope instantly threw her arms around your neck making you smile. “Don’t forget me.” She says.
“How could I ever forget you? You’ve always been there for me when I needed someone the most.” Now more tears were beginning to fall. “I know you’ve lost family and friends over the years but I’m not going away for good, P.” You rub her back as she hugs you tighter. “Your office better be bright and colorful when I come back.”
“Of course it will be.” Penelope says wiping her own tears away.
“Short blonde coming through.” JJ says as she weaves her way through over to you. You both begin laughing as she stretches her arms out.
“I’m going to miss you so much, JJ.” You say hugging her tightly. “And I’m also going to miss your little boys. Keep them going down the right path, okay? Let me know if one of them gets bullied at school, I’ll handle them immediately.”
JJ laughs as she pulls away from you. “I’ll make sure to keep you in the loop. And I’m sure the boys are going to miss you a lot too, especially those chocolate chip cookie recipe.”
“I’ll make sure to send you the recipe. Tell Henry that I’ll always be watching so he better. Same goes for Michael.”
“Santa Claus 2.0, got it.” JJ said making you laugh.
Suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around you and the instant smell of Rossi’s cologne filled your nose. You wrapped your arms around him hugging him tighter than you hugged JJ or Garcia. “Geez, Rossi. It’s not like you’re burying me for all eternity.” You giggle.
“I know but it’s just hard having to let go of someone to dear.”
“Well golly Rossi, you’re messing my makeup even more.” You say patting his back. “Be sure to email those pasta recipes and instructions. I’m going to need to learn how to really cook for myself while I’m gone.”
“Don’t disappoint me,” He says pulling away. “Rimanga sicuro.” He says before leaving a kiss on both of your cheeks.
“I’ll be okay, don’t worry about me.”
You soon said your goodbyes to Luke, Tara, and Stephen. Repeating what you said to JJ to Stephen about his two kids, Maya and Eli. You reminded Luke to take very good care of Roxy and to send her pictures but still keep up on his dating life. Saying goodbye you Tara, you told her to take care of herself. Stay close with the team because they are family and you will need them one day. You say one final goodbye to everyone before Emily led you out of the briefing room.
“Oh shoot!” You exclaim turning to face Emily as she pressed the elevator button. She looked at you furrowing her eyebrows. “I totally forgot to say my goodbyes to you.”
“Hey no worries.” Emily says shaking her head. “We still have time before you leave.” The elevators open and she steps inside. “I need to fill you on what we have set up for you. From your new identity to where you’ll be living.”
“The director knows you’re doing this?” You question as she hits the lobby button.
“No, but what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Emily said winking at you.
“Emily Prentiss, you inspire me everyday.”
Emily laughed throwing her head back. “I wish someone told me that when I was fifteen.”
Arriving at Emily’s car she unlocked the doors and you both got inside. The drive to the airport was silent the whole way. Not a word was spoken until she came to a stop in front of the parking lot. Climbing out of her car you walk over to the trunk and pull out of suitcase. “Now remember to call me when you get to where you’re going, okay? There should be a key in the mailbox when you get there. Fridge and cupboards have been stocked with everything. JJ worked with the State Department and set everything up with a new social security number, identity, bank account, anything that you could possibly think of she has it already set up. I switched your IDs in your wallet. Your passport, if you need it, is in your purse along with a new cell phone and a set of car keys that you’ll need when you land.” Emily explained as she walked you to your gates. “If you ever need anything just call me and we’ll be there in an instant.”
You stop walking once you approach the gates and turn around to face Emily. you adjusted the strap of your purse on your shoulder before hugging her. You breakdown in tears. “I’m really going to miss you, Emily.” You whimper. “This past four years working with you have been the best. I got the chance to do what I love. Because of you I’ve learned how to defend myself and protect others. I’ve learned so much from you, work wise as well as personal.”
“You’re making me cry.” Emily sniffled over your shoulder.
“Promise me, Emily, that you never give up fighting the fight. There will always be hard times but you have to promise me that you won’t give up or give in and keep fighting. Stand up when you’re knocked down and fight for what’s right. Protect the team, keep them in line, and never let them fall.”
“Same goes for you, (Y/N). Keep fighting but keep living your life. Catherine ever tries to hurt you, we will find her and take her down once for all.” Emily responded. You pull away from each other and wipe your own tears.
“I can believe that.” You say giggling.
“Last call for Flight 182 to Chicago.”
You give Emily one last hug before heading towards the doors of the gate. “Welcome aboard.” The lady smiled as she let your pass through. “Enjoy your flight.”
You turn around just as the door starts to shut. Emily waves at you before the doors closes. Walking down the tunnel to the entrance of the plane, you step on and go to find your seat. Sitting down you glance out the window one last time. Here you were sitting in an airplane all alone leaving your life behind to start a new one. Sure it you were heartbroken but you knew deep down inside yourself that it was the right thing to do. Catherine would leave your team alone and come after you if she found you. You ran to protect those you care about. You ran to protect yourself. You ran because this is your life now and you can’t drag the team down with you. It just wasn’t right. You couldn’t hurt those close to you because of who you are.
Goodbye Washington D.C.
WOO! FINALLY GOT SOMETHING POSTED! SORRY FOR THE DELAY! HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS PART! if you did then please like, reblog, and leave your feedback! :)