#I AM SO CLOSE TO BUYING A HORRID LITTLE ACTION FIGURE OF HIM JUST TO SHAKE HIM AROUND

[doctor-octiddius]

i genuinely can't believe that siddig has captivated my brain for over 7 months now and every now and again he brings in some other character into my brain that fuels the hyperfixation even more. like usually when a hyperfixation starts to fade it... it fades away...? it's gone. i need like at the very least a year to even feel like "hey maybe i could like this again" but with sid it's like "ok he's gone now... never mind he's bac- ok i got another interest- wait no, hi sid- nah, this time for real i have a new hyperfixa- GOD DAMN IT HE'S BACK ??? REALLY ???"

[nafeary]

Can I have some really short headcanons with MC spending time with the Ikevamp boys?

✧✎ A/N: Hiii sweets! As I’m dealing with pretty heavy topics right, both in life and writing (my cheating!mc headcanon, oh my), I decided to make this short fluffy one first. Make sure to drink water and to sleep well :))))

Also, these kept on getting longer (and longer and longer)... I dunno how that happened 🤷‍♀️

Napoleon Bonaparte

While you enjoyed accompanying the former emperor and Isaac to teach the children in town

Or going for tranquil evening strolls

Or watching him spar with Jean (HOT)

Both of your favourite past time by far was you waking him, and the cuddling that would always follow (among other... activities *wink wink*)

He’d nuzzle up against your neck, enklindling giggles from you as he protested about you wanting to help Sebastian with breakfast

You couldn’t bring yourself to care too much (sorry Sebas)

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Music is the centre of his life; but so are you

He had to learn to give you the attention you deserved, and he’d often wonder if you were were truly content with sitting beside him as he played

You’d love to watch the genius in action, humming and singing along when you happen to recognize his songs

If you don’t already know, he’d teach you to play the piano and the violin

And despite being the ever strict instructor, you’d often catch his tranquil simper as his hands would ghost over your own

Leonardo Da Vinci

After all your chores would be completed, you’d hunt down the Renaissance man

Which would be quite time consuming, as he could be anywhere. Literally.

Once you succeeded in your mission, you’d sit beside wherever he decided to sleep this time (sometimes with one of your heads resting on the other’s lap) and you’d talk. As simple as that

You were, of course, aware of the scientist’s unquenchable thirst for knowledge, and you were more than glad to tell him about everything you knew about your time in detail

In return, he’d find a way to charge your phone, as you always expressed the desire to show him actual pictures of your old life

Curious boi is impressed

Arthur Conan Doyle

If his girlfriend were to be a social butterfly, you’d probably enjoy tagging along with the third wheel Theo to their regular bars, sharing embarrassing anecdotes of each other

Both of you could often be seen taking Vic for a walk, and Arthur would, no fail, try to get your attention away from the dog acting as his love rival

You could only roll your eyes at his histeronic behavior as he pulled you close, hiding his flaming cheeks at your teasing

If you tend to be more quiet loving, you’d indulge in some alone time in his room [goddammit, not that type of indulging]. As you listened to his calming puffs or air, he’d sometimes ask you to read some of his drafts

Whatever the case was, it would always end with Arthur sweetly pecking your purses lips, a smile gracing his handsome face

Vincent Van Gogh

Wanderlust is a mutual feeling you two shared, and Theodorus had to come to terms with the fact that you two could disappear for hours to end

As soon as you two would find a stunning location, he’d unpack his painting supplies while asking you questions about your old life

You two preferred to stay until the sun would retire for the moon to reign, so that the artist’s canvas had the chance to dry

Sebas would always prepare some snacks for you two upon Comte’s suggestion (because Sugar Daddy takes care of his kids)

As the picnic blanket lay beneath you two, Vincent would pull you close, basking in the serene serenity of your embrace

Thedorus Van Gogh

Baking!

Whether you know or don’t know (in which case Sebastian would gladly help you out) how to cook, the others would find the resident couple in the kitchen as Theo judged your pastries

Of course, he might be mean about it, but that was just apart of him that you’ve learnt to live with; after all, you weren’t perfect either

You discovered that he preferred his sweets... well, sweet, so you have grown used to making two batches of every dough/custard/anything, really: one for you and the other residents, and one solely for him

He’d sometimes saunter behind you, swiftly swiping some saccharine cream onto his finger from a bowl you were currently using. Before you could utter your protests, he’d paint your lips with it, a smirk parading across his cheeks

Successfully shutting you up with a tooth rottingly sweet kiss, he’d say, “Your creations are quite delicious, wouldn’t you agree, knabbletje?” [Would you look at that, Food Play!Theo has returned]

Your knee joints were seemingly replaced by the jelly chilling in the basement

Dazai Osamu

When he’d require inspiration for his novels (or simply felt trapped in his own misery), he’d find himself looking across the vast expanse of le Comte’s land

And somehow, he’d find you more than often amongst the flowers, waving at him to join you

He’d assist you as you cared for the flowers, watching your lithe and nimble hands as they practically danced across the fields

A few butterflies would appear, and he somehow had the ability to make them land on his finger as he explained each of their meanings, explanations spanning from eastern culture to Native American even

You’re always so fixed on the little butterflies resting on him, the writer can’t help himself but kiss your forehead, the subsequent crimson staining your face eliciting such a calm expression from him that you can’t help but smile at his joy

Isaac Newton

As you were both more than busy during the day, you’d vacate your time as the first stars speckled the horizon, Isaac busying himself with mapping the stars

You’d sometimes ask him to teach you, but you tended to zone out as the lectures became more and more scientific and “can you please repeat that in English”-like

Despite the ire lining his voice when he noticed your blank stare, his pouting made it rather apparent that he didn’t mind

He’d scoff whenever you’d start with astrology. “But you’re determined, just like a Capricorn.” “That doesn’t mean anything.”

As more and more stars would appear, you’d catch yourselves gaze more into each other’s eyes than the sky, alabaster rays illumining your loving eyes

His research would be entirely forgotten as your head rested upon his shoulder, liking the prospect of your figurative weight resting on him

Jean d’Arc

You want to watch him spar

Soft boi doesn’t want you to watch him spar

You want to try using his foil

Soft boi doesn’t want you to try using his foil

More than adamant about not revealing his dark side (you couldn’t care less, him sparing was hot but you didn’t know how to bring that up)

As such, you’d ask him to go shopping with you, arguing that his presence would act as the perfect protection

Foolproof way to persuade the stoic soldier: Volume I

You’d enjoy spending time with him in quiet cafes, enjoying him struggle to contain his expressions of content upon trying all the delicacies

Stone on the outside, panic in the inside when you decided to lower yourself onto his lap, telling him that no one could see you two (soldier life did not prepare him for his flirty amour)

William Shakespeare

Stabbing is his favourite past time

To Theo’s disgust, whenever you and and his broer would visit THE creep, he’d often return alone, relying your wish of staying at his mansion for a little while longer

He’d be besotted by all the stories you relayed to him, all the anecdotes of modern life

As you saw his latest works, you were glad he wasn’t using the residents for his drama anymore

He also liked dancing with you, in the moment the clock would hit midnight. As you would both sway beneath the moon’s embrace, he had never felt more at peace

Comte de Saint-Germain

Sugar Daddy likes buying you stuff, that’s it. That’s the headcanon

Jk, but he genuinely enjoys the prospect of shopping clothes with you

He’d even draft some on his own (I mean, have you seen his fashion style? Yes babayyy). If you were a fan of design, you’d both make outfits for one another

Would buy you the best silk if you wanted it... would buy you holo fabric from the future if you wanted it

After your shopping would be done, you’d walk along the Seine, reminiscing about the times none of you have gotten to life in

He enjoyed having you in his office, allowing you to vent about noble ladies that thought they could do as they please and parade around your man

As your ire left your ears fuming, he’d muse how scrumptiously adorable your jealousy it

He’d probably lift you ontop his desk to show you that you had absolutely nothing to fear— if you get what I mean ;)

...What are you talking about? I wasn’t talking about that 🙄. He’d simply show you all the designs you’ve made together smh

Sebastian

Vampires were goddamn lucky creatures. They, unlike him, didn’t have to deal with those horrid muscle cramps

However, his pain was more than familiar to you. Thus, one evening, you proposed as you prepared for bed if he’d like a massage from you

It would... sometimes lead to other acts, but that’s a story for another time 🙃

...I- that’s- I was talking about him massaging her... I should probably omit these insinuations

Now, you’d also spent time by adjusting your (and Dazai’s) favourite Japanese dishes with ingredients the 19th century France granted

This would oftentimes lead to questionable results, but you two would laugh it off with mirth enjoying your company

I am physically unable to write a Theo without foodplay, or Dazai without angsty undertones

[hopevalley]

Season 8, Episode 5: What the Heart Wants

I was going to try to follow my scene-by-scene format for the entire season, but I’ve been getting a lot of migraines recently, presumably from staring at the computer too long, so I don’t want to spend all morning working on typing up the play-by-play for this episode.

Also, for what it’s worth I think this episode lends itself to plot discussion better than some of the previous episodes...at least in some sense.

And as another head’s up, it’s back to being critical for me. ;P

Storylines:

School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences

The Dress Shop/Rachel

Postal Service, Ned

Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation

Carson and Faith

Henry

Elizabeth and Lucas

Clara’s Dilemma

--

School Ends/Graduation/Parent-Teacher Conferences

This plot felt a little scattered, but for once it wasn’t the kind of storyline they foisted too much drama upon. After years of every single function possible being besieged by bullshittery, it’s a relief to see one go off without a real hitch.

The beginning scene with Robert hugging Elizabeth was sweet. I enjoyed the Canfields immensely and am intrigued by Angela’s role in the story long-term (PLEASE let her befriend Allie!). Nathan...eh, I have thoughts—but I’ll talk about that a bit soon. The actual ceremony was cute and kind of fun with the kids singing. 

Neat Thing I Noticed:

Continuity? Cat Montgomery is still listed as Emily’s mother. ♥♥♥ I don’t know why but this made me really happy???

-

Complaint Corner:

Parent-teacher conferences should have been in this show from a much earlier point, and so should graduation have been. If there was a point to this celebration (the first year in a while anyone was old enough to graduate) that would have been a nice touch, too. It just managed to feel sliiiightly out of place.

I’ll forgive the “everyone in town goes to the graduation” thing because this is 1918...something like this would be a whole-town affair IMO. Invite everyone and have a nice get-together/party, probably on a Sunday afternoon after church but Hope Valley does whatever it wants, so...eh.

The threat of merging Hope Valley with other schools doesn’t fit in this scenario and it feels like they ripped it directly out of Tales from Avonlea which was almost rage-inducing to me.

Look, school mergers happened a lot in the early 1900s, especially around the WWI mark, but it wouldn’t be hitting a rural western town just yet. They don’t have any way of getting these kids to other towns for schooling. Where would the next closest school be? It would have to be pretty large and modern to merge multiple schools together.

*Adjusts nerd glasses* This felt forced and completely unnecessary. If anything this guy could be telling Elizabeth that they’re working on building a modern school somewhat close by, and could even have her involved in some decision-making regarding layout. Then they could bring in a “merger” storyline next season without it feeling out of place.

It mostly just felt dramatic for the hell of it, and it was boring, as was this man’s threat that Elizabeth had no right to teach a blind student. As if they’d accept Angela at a better school? As if her parents could afford top tier education for her? PLEASE.

Now it’s time for Nathan. The man chose to go fishing instead of to the parent-teacher conference? It makes him look like a tool. This isn’t about him or about Elizabeth; it’s about Allie. I understand why he didn’t want to go, but he should have done it anyway. It would have taken five minutes of his time. 

His flippant attitude annoyed me because it went completely against his character as we know it, but Elizabeth’s lecturing was irritating, too. For a moment I thought we had Lorigail back on the show...

I think Elizabeth was well within her rights to warn Nathan about the effect his work has on his ward, but that inquiry took like a week AT MOST. Heck, let’s be generous and say TWO WEEKS. Allie’s concentration suffered for two weeks. There was no need to say more than, “Hey she worries about you and her work suffered for a bit during that time frame, just so you’re aware.” 

I think what annoyed me about the math program thing is that...Elizabeth being a teacher would probably be VERY WELL AWARE that MOST of the parents to her students aren’t good enough at schooling to assist their kids with their homework. I dunno, it just feels out of place for her to tell Nathan that she wants to put Allie in an accelerated “program” and that Allie might need his help with her homework. It’s even more out of place when he admits he used to bribe his sister to do his work for him. Like. It’s very possible he’s not that good at math and isn’t capable of helping. (But maybe that will be a plot down the road...?)

“Or a tutor...” BITCH WHERE IS HE GONNA FIND A TUTOR IN THIS TOWN?! It’s super annoying to see dialogue like this that feels completely out of touch with the reality these people would be living in...lol. But also if she needs a tutor to stay caught up in an advanced program, she probably...shouldn’t be in the advanced program.

I don’t know how to feel about this whole thing here: “Nathan, you are Allie’s world. You’re the only father she’s ever known, and as she grows up you will always be the measure of the quality she’ll look for in a man as she chooses who to marry.” 

On one hand, it does fit the situation (he seems to think everything is behind him but Elizabeth’s words are kind of a caution that 1) his actions still have an effect on Allie, and 2) every day he’s teaching her by example). On the other hand, it seems almost wildly inappropriate to bring up? At the same time, it’s probably not wrong that Allie will measure other men (friends, acquaintances, potential future romantic interests) against Nathan’s example.

I dunno. The conversation felt disjointed. 

I think what they were going for was Nathan just feeling too awkward and weird about being with Elizabeth to want to be there for the conference, but...he interacted with her quite normally after the inquiry and stuff (even after she’d broken things off with him), so...it feels out of place. Like maybe this should have taken place right after the breakup and not weeks later?

Anyone else have thoughts on this and why it doesn’t feel quite right?

--

The Dress Shop/Rachel

This plot wasn’t what I would call a waste of time (rather, it’s worth having it mentioned now), but part of it was completely pointless and stupid. The whole Rachel getting lost thing was tacked into the promos to stir up drama, but nothing happened and there was nothing worrisome even going on. YAWN.

Rosemary’s desire to do something meaningful and different with her life is super interesting. I’m very curious to see what they decide to do with her if Dottie does sell the dress shop.

Also, Rosemary finding the book under Rachel’s bed was pretty funny.

But yeah, I didn’t really find much in this plotline to care deeply about. I guess I am pretty interested in knowing who might be purchasing the dress shop and/or if this decision is to bring someone else onto the show (a female love interest for the man who doesn’t win Elizabeth’s heart in the end, or even to bring back an old character*) or to take the dress shop out of the equation entirely... It’s also just as possible that Rosemary/Lee or Clara/Jesse end up buying it themselves down the line... Thoughts?

*I can’t begin to imagine who would be the best fit for this in this case, though. Who would have the money to buy her out?

--

Postal Service, Ned

Ned is just honestly so cute and fun. I love him. He’s really been doing well this season and seeing him wander around town delivering mail door to door was kind of nice.

Also, he’s one SMOOTH operator! Look at him, talking about putting a bell on the door so that he and Florence won’t be caught off-guard if they’re in the middle of...something. 

Oh my, Ned. What might customers be...interrupting? :3

Continuity? Not only was the ulcer from last season brought up, but the horrid cabbage juice was, too. :’) It was a nice touch. And these two had just enough screentime to be kind of fun/interesting without also taking up too much time.

--

Bill’s Uniform, Nathan’s Vacation

Nathan got his vacation and Bill is in charge...again. This happens an awful lot. I wonder if it’ll actually impact the next few episodes or if it’s just here for the hell of it.

I love Bill a lot and I want to brag up his character in this episode a bit. I’ve complained many times in the past about him being written like a Grumpy Old Man Yelling at Clouds but this episode was super respectful. He got his scene with his uniform. Nobody interrupted it. There weren’t even any words. I quite liked it.

But it also felt kind of...pointless? I don’t want to judge it too harshly yet. Like the dress shop plotline, this could actually be going somewhere in the next couple of episodes. 

Plus, unrelated to the uniform, it was nice to see Bill acting fatherly toward Clara. While it sort of came out of nowhere for the wedding, I appreciate the attempt at continuity there. Plus, so far this season, I’ve felt like Bill’s almost been a father-figure to Clara, Fiona, and even Nathan, so I’m enjoying that a lot.

--

Carson and Faith

CONTINUITY? The show finally remembered that not only is Carson actually a surgeon, but that was his original passion. It’s not that they completely forgot (S5 had him performing surgery on his sister-in-law, after all), but giving Carson a PASSION makes him a way more interesting character to me. 

And also, finally, this feels like a REAL high-stakes plotline for him and for Faith.

I really liked Faith’s take on things. I know, I know, I’ve been rooting at them to break up, but the reason is mostly because they’re just so BORING together. I’d rather watch Henry twirl around in a chair for an hour than suffer through date scenes with these two.

It’s not that I’m against a doctor wife/husband team. I’m not. I just think Faith was a much more interesting and cool character on the show before Carson showed up and usurped her place (and completely overshadowed her for literal seasons). This plotline for Carson might actually be interesting. Like, a fellowship? For modern surgery? IN BALTIMORE?!

I hope this is Faith’s way of saying she wants a break and/or a break would be good for them. I can’t picture her leaving Hope Valley without any trained medical staff, let alone long enough for a fellowship... 

But if this goes through, what will they do with it? Would they really write Carson off the show? To be perfectly honest with y’all, I’d be fine with that. At least it’s the type of write-off that makes a lot of good sense (unlike some of the other ones we got). I guess this is just another “wait and see” plotline which is uhh...the theme of this episode, huh? Anyone have thoughts on this?

--

Henry

Henry barely had any screentime, but I do want to say he is #relateable. The man is back at work for ten seconds and already exhausted. SAME.

Also, I appreciate that he’s ready to be back in the oil business. At what cost? I know people were worried they were gonna kill him off, and I really doubted it, but now I’m starting to wonder where they’re going with this exactly. Yet another wait and see moment LOL!

--

Elizabeth and Lucas

Some damn fine scenes for Lucas and Elizabeth in this episode. Mostly the scenic ones. :P

I enjoyed the agreement to a date. The horseback riding stuff was pretty cute. 

Complaint corner? I don’t know. I have petty complaints. Even though the celebration for the kids was a town-wide event, and therefore Lucas was invited, it still felt out of place to see it brought up. Maybe it should have been mentioned as a town celebration from the start?

Then Lucas’s comment about not wanting to make things awkward for Nathan (who is actually a parent and there) makes a liiiittle more sense. I do think it was good of him to not go, even though he wanted to spend more time with Elizabeth, but it gave off a weird vibe, like, “Look at how good and wholesome Lucas is!” Is that intentional? I’m not...sure...?

For what it’s worth I already felt like Lucas was an honorable person in this regard. He loaned Nathan money, after all. Maybe he should have told Elizabeth he views Nathan as a friend and doesn’t want to hurt his feelings unnecessarily and/or if he was there he’d want to hog her all to himself or something cheesy. Hm.

My other complaints are:

Elizabeth running to the saloon would be WAY faster than all this getting set up at her house...?? Who thought this made sense?

Elizabeth’s dress looked like a nightie she bought at Kohls.

Too many damn candles.

Characters Do What Plot Dictates Even Though Plot Makes No Sense. More at 11:00!!

I have no further comments on the dress. It needed sleeves or something so it looked more like a dress and not like a nightgown/piece of lingerie.

I think the candles might have been on purpose to parallel Jack...but I hated it lol. Fire hazard? HAVEN’T ENOUGH THINGS IN TOWN BURNED DOWN/EXPLODED?!

I didn’t hate the date scene! But I never feel like Elizabeth has any meaningful conversations with Lucas and it’s starting to drive me batty. 

Could we get uhhh something of substance please? It has to be surface-level nonsense on purpose. Right? RIGHT?

(And no, discussing a book for ten seconds on-screen is not “intelligent conversation” okay...?)

It’s really a shame because I’m starting to actually warm up to Lucas a little bit in this season but it feels like the conversations are just...kind of stilted and she’s not really into dating him—just agreeing to it because he’s the only option. 

And I can’t believe I’m saying this, but...he deserves better than that. 

Don’t get me wrong, by the way. If it’s part of the story and it’s revealed as such down the road, I’ll be fine with it...but I always worry they’ll just skip important relationship milestones and/or important conversations and expect us all to just accept it.

Kiiiiiind of looking forward to the rainy date scene in the next episode, though. I’m Team Nathan mostly but I’m keeping an open mind and I think I might actually enjoy it. Hopefully they’ll get some good scenes together that don’t feel like this one did.

--

Clara's Dilemma

Clara’s fears about running the salon without Fiona...are legit. LOL.

Also, this little bit was funny (between Mike and Jesse and Bill):

Anyway, if Clara was that worried about it, she should have just...told Fiona no? I hope it comes up down the road. Poor Molly??

I genuinely don’t know how I feel about Clara and Jesse’s involvement in this episode. I guess it was okay. I liked Clara’s scenes with Bill. I thought the idea of Clara and Jesse buying into the cafe was a nice one. Jesse having “invested” their money and lost it all, though... They did a similar plot with other people in what...Season 5 was it? Or was that the start of S6? He didn’t even say what he invested it in? But he admits the money is all gone? 

I think that’s what was missing from that scene. “I invested it in X, hoping to make us more money, but it didn’t work out and we lost everything.”

I’m not going to criticize Jesse’s characterization, only because sometimes character "growth” doesn’t happen for the better of anyone involved. My biggest worry here is that it’ll be solved by the end of next episode....but I hope that’s not it.

Like, I think they did better with Frank and Abigail if we’re going to talk about a man who didn’t know how to live like he was in a committed relationship. It made more sense with Frank, too, being older and single most of his life. His bouts of selfishness felt realistic.

Jesse feels like he’s somehow getting worse and worse as a person as the show goes on. I’m kind of at a point where I hope he and Clara divorce, because he’s so damn selfish it’s embarrassing. He’s off having a beer while his wife works multiple jobs? And then he has the audacity to act like they should save money when he just blew all their savings? 

I’m sure it’ll work out fine but I hope Clara puts herself in charge of the finances at the very least.

As to investing failures, I liked how they did that with Henry and Abigail. That was the kind of tension and worry that felt natural to me—like she trusted him with her money after he’d proven himself untrustworthy ten million times throughout the years, and he failed and had to uhh admit that. 

Jesse straight up betrayed Clara. Which, if it’s dealt with in a satisfying way...I think can be a good plotline. I just worry about it actually being dealt with properly. That’s a huge stumbling block in a relationship. And why is he continually getting worse as a person? There doesn’t seem to be any rhyme or reason to it. 

Gasp... it’s almost like it’s just plot because they feel like they have to give someone something every damn episode.

--

Which brings me to THE FINAL

COMPLAINT CORNER (The Big Boy™ Complaints)

The show has really struggled with finding its footing. I wish they’d take notes from better shows with ensemble casts (cough cough Road to Avonlea cough) without also ripping off their storylines (cough school merges cough).

My #1 complaint at this point in Season 8 is the SHEER AMOUNT OF THINGS GOING ON EVERY EPISODE.

I want continuity, so I want to see things happen naturally over a season, but my God do we not need to have mindless pointless crap in the episode. Rachel getting “lost” for ten seconds wasted literal MINUTES of screen time that would have been MUCH better allocated to basically anyone else in this episode.

And I don’t think it would bother me so much if it wasn’t also shoved into the promo like it was supposed to matter. It didn’t matter. Nobody cares. Why was it allowed to stay in the episode alongside stuff like Clara and Bill’s conversation?

Or Lucas and Carson’s?

I think they want to appease all the fans in every episode by giving them scenes of their favorites, but what did Henry sitting in his chair accomplish in this episode? Rachel getting lost? Jack not sleeping well/missing his mom? The school superintendent?

Did Bill trying on his uniform have to be in this episode? Did Jesse and Clara’s problems have to come fully to light right now?

When every episode is formatted like this, with 10 plotlines all interconnected slightly and going on at the same time, I feel like...nobody gets the spotlight they deserve when they deserve it.

I cANNOT believe I’m saying this, but this plotline for Carson, especially if it will end with him leaving the show for a while or permanently should get the focus it deserves. But it won’t if we get tiny snips of it here and there and then BOOM decision made because Reasons.

And again, I know I’ve said before that I want more continuity throughout the season, but... the best way to do that is to tighten up the plots. Have fewer of them per season and give more screentime to the ones you choose to pursue. 

--

Anyway, I’m still enjoying the season, but I hope they keep some of this kind of stuff in mind for next season. They don’t need plotlines for everyone in every episode. They need the plotlines they choose to write to be worth their screentime.

Sorry this was sloppily written and all that. Hopefully it makes sense. Very curious to see y’alls thoughts. Feel free to make your own posts and @ me, or reblog this or comment!

[jennifersylvesters]

give a little - part one

Pairing: Chris Evans / Sebastian Stan x fem!reader Word Count: 3.6k~ Warning: swearing A/N: this is my contribution to @suncityparker and @petalparker’s writing challenge. i chose the au / prompt fake dating. hope you enjoy! as always, feedback is always appreciated!

When you signed the lease for your apartment at Woodridge Oaks, it was only natural for you to be excited. After all, this was your first taste of independence. Finally you had a place to yourself, free of any family or roommates. There was no stress, no rushing in the morning worried that the bathroom would be occupied. You weren’t expecting much from a one bedroom apartment but just a nice relaxing home. After all, what could happen on the fifth floor of Woodridge Oaks?

Occasionally a loud party bustled throughout the complex, but it ended during reasonable hours and only happened on the weekends. They were tolerable, just like the tenants who resided in the building. You got along just fine with the neighbors, not particularly concerned about any of them.

To the right of your apartment was your neighbor, Chris. You met him while moving in, lugging heavy miscellaneous boxes up to your place. He graciously offered to help which you gladly accepted. You hadn’t seen him much after that day, only greeting one another occasionally in the halls.The two of you sometimes briefly chatted in the laundry room while waiting for your loads, but it was nothing but mere small talk.

And although the number of women who visited his place seemed excessive, you didn’t particularly mind. It amused you to see the girls creeping quietly out of his place, passing you with a mix of shame and embarrassment all while refusing to make eye contact. As long as they weren’t loud, you had no qualms.That was his business.

However your neighbor, Sebastian, did not feel the same. Unfortunately Sebastian’s bedroom was right next to Chris’s, where he could hear him and his partners going at it in the middle of the night. While you weren’t technically friends with Sebastian - “commute buddies” seeing as your offices were only a block away from one another - you empathetically listened to his complaints.

Chris’s flings meant nothing to you, only serving as a trivial fact about the blond man next door. It caught you by surprise when a woman began frequently visiting his apartment. At first you found it sweet how he finally decided to commit. There was only one girl for Sebastian to complain about now.

Yet things seemed off. This visitor would show up at odd times of the day, skulking around the hallways constantly looking over her shoulder. Multiple times you witnessed her trying to yank his door open but to no avail. She left notes taped to his door, a lipstick kiss on the sheet with multiple hearts drawn.

All of these actions seemed peculiar, something you weren’t quite sure what to make of. You figured the least you could do was let Chris know. So one Sunday afternoon you knocked on his door waiting for him to answer. You heard rustling from the other side, locks sliding before a hand grabbed and yanked you inside.

“Oh, thank God it’s you” he breathed a sigh of relief, quickly locking the door. “Lucy’s been practically stalking me.”

“Who?”

He explained how he met Lucy at his job. He hadn’t thought much about his flirtation with her, only that she seemed like a sweet kid who ended up wanting more than a casual fling and got aggressive about her ambition to date him. There was absolutely no shame in his voice or face as he went into certain details about their sexual history, something that ended up flustering you instead.

You suggested he tell the landlord, figuring that he could easily ban her from the building. Chris shook his head, heaving out a sigh. “No, I can handle it. Plus it might mess up my business.” You weren’t sure what he did, but you politely nodded your head. “I just gotta ride out the crazy.”

“Thanks for telling me” he said, giving you a polite smile as he opened the door for you. Both of you jumped seeing Lucy standing at the doorway.

“Who are you? Who is this?” Lucy glared.

And in what Chris deemed a moment of brilliance, he blurted “This is my girlfriend, Y/N!”

Your jaw dropped at the notion, unsure of what in God’s name he was talking about. You barely spoke to him, and now he was deciding the two of you were dating?

Feeling a slight pinch on your arm, you yelped lightly. It took one look from the blond man to understand that he needed you to save him. His face said it all - “just go with it”. Still, he didn’t need to be that rough.

“Yes...I am dating...Chris” you slowly announced, trying to process the words as you said them. The idea of dating Chris seemed unfathomable. Sure, he was ridiculously attractive, but he wasn’t one for being tied down. Plus you didn’t even know his last name. Definitely couldn’t date someone without knowing their full name.

“How long? Why? When’d you meet?” Lucy didn’t have the right to ask either of you questions, but that didn’t stop her.

“Actually, we’ve known each other for a while” he nodded, explaining the situation. “We’ve always had chemistry, but we just didn’t wanna give in to it. I think I just wanted a sign to feel like all the stars were aligned. But a couple weeks ago we ran into each other at our favorite cafe, and we were talking about our favorite musicians. She was talking so passionately about her favorite band and that’s when I realized I couldn’t fight my feelings any longer. I just told her how much I liked her, and I’m just really blessed my baby felt the same way” he lied so easily even you thought it might be real.

He wrapped his arm around your waist, pulling you in close. This was definitely new territory with your neighbor, and you weren’t too sure how to feel about it. Were you supposed to do the same?

So your arm hovered behind his back unsure of where to put your hand. Would putting it up near his shoulder blades be more friendly than a normal girlfriend would intend? But you also couldn’t just put it near his butt. That region was off limits. With a fake smile plastered on his face, he gritted “Just pick a spot.”

You eventually settled on the small of his back before grinning nervously at Lucy. Instantly you regretted this gesture as she shot you a murderous look.

“I, uh...I like him so much” you fumbled out. Apparently that wasn’t good enough. You received another pinch. Wincing at the pain, you deciding to rephrase your statement. “I mean, I love him. I’m just really...shy about admitting that stuff to strangers. Especially people I’ve never met.” That seemed to appease Chris.

Lucy eyed you, watching you do you best to pretend you were in love with a man you barely talked to. With one final glare, she huffed off.

As the sound of her heels disappeared, Chris dropped his arm from around you. Breathing a sigh of relief, he placed his hand on your shoulder. “Whew! Thanks for that!”

Scrunching your face, you couldn’t help but feel a little weirded out by the whole scenario. You rubbed at the spot that he pinched. “Sure. That was a bit strange though.”

Right as you were about to walk back to your apartment, he took your arm gently. “Hey. I know I don’t have the right, but I have a huge favor to ask” he started nervously, his other hand rubbing the nape of his neck. That’s when he asked if you would be his fake girlfriend, at least until he was sure Lucy would leave him alone for good.

You pointed out how insane Lucy seemed, afraid that she might come after you. There was something in her eyes from the brief contact that worried you greatly. But Chris promised he would take care of her as long as you did this favor for him.

All signs told you not to do this. It was crazy. Lucy was crazy. Chris was crazy for thinking this was a good idea. But you were weak when he repeatedly pleaded for you to help him out. His eyes looked desperate and when he actually got on his knees, clutching his hands together, you knew you couldn’t say no.

“Fine” you gave in, wishing you weren’t that weak to handsome men. “Also, what’s your last name?”

A couple days later you strolled through the grocery store, making your way through the sections as you focused on the information on your phone. Turns out that dating Chris wasn’t just a simple announcement and an occasional hug and kiss; it was actual work.

True to Chris’s initial belief, Lucy had no intention of giving up without a fight. Her visits became even more constant, asking Chris’s location or why the two of you weren’t together at that very second. You would fib, making any excuses to get away from the horrid girl. She rattled of questions to you about your “boyfriend”, expecting you to know the most obscure details about the man.

While her incessant hounding bothered you, she was right to question this relationship seeing as you practically knew nothing about him. The only certain fact you knew was that he owned a lovely dog named Dodger. Everything else about Chris was up in the air.

Lucy wasn’t buying into the sham, and both of you could tell. So he began sending facts about himself, typical details one would know about Chris if you were actually dating. Nothing more enthralling than remembering someone’s dietary restrictions and food dislikes for a fake relationship.

While you sent some of your own facts, you never bothered making any of them too personal. Learning about him was more for his benefit rather than yours. He didn’t need to know your allergies or music preferences because his stalker wouldn’t care.

As you muttered how Chris was originally from Boston, you looked up from your phone to see a familiar face. Oh, no. It was your ex-boyfriend, Jake. Your face immediately paled at the sight of him.

He looked good in that button down you always loved, hair gelled back as he browsed through the produce section. Why, oh why, was today the day where you decided to look completely disheveled?

He hadn’t noticed you so you sucked in your breath as you attempted to turn around. Your plan was foiled as your cart screeched, the back tire grinding down and refusing to cooperate. Jake looked up towards your direction, recognizing you immediately. As he called out your name, you internally groaned biting down on your lip.

“Hey, Y/N! Long time no see!” he greeted you. He surveyed your messy hair and unflattering sweats. From the look on his face, you could tell he felt that he dodged a bullet with you. You wanted nothing more than to flip him off and curse him out for that expression alone.

Despite your current state, you were doing fine. You didn’t need a man, especially one like him. This, of course, was something he would never believe even if you told him.

You wanted Jake to understand that you never needed him, that you were capable of bigger and better things. He was simply the pit stop on the side of the road. Yet to him he was the final destination you never got the opportunity to enjoy.

You could feel the resentment boiling in your body, wishing you could do something - anything - to make him see otherwise. And that’s when you spotted Sebastian.

Well, he actually spotted you. “Oh hey” he approached you, giving you a polite nod.

Something inside you snapped at that moment. That pitying look from Jake made you want to lash out, prove him wrong for all those times he made you feel inferior. You never got to do it during your relationship or your break up. Apparently now was the perfect opportunity, even if that meant absolutely losing your mind.

“Baby, where have you been?” you cooed, taking Sebastian by the arm and pulling him close to you. You rubbed his bicep, leaning in closer. Sebastian quizzically eyed you, unsure of the current situation.

“Uh, like in general or-?” he started before you realized he might ruin your plan.

“Aw, I’m glad you got my favorite chips! You’re so sweet!” you exclaimed upon seeing him holding a bag of Doritos in his hand.

Jake pressed his lips together. Obviously he hadn’t been expecting someone like Sebastian to show up. He cleared his throat, bringing your attention back to him. “You’re not even going to introduce me, Y/N?” He forced a chuckle causing Sebastian to raise an eyebrow.

It was only natural for him to feel intimidated by Sebastian. With his tall stature and good looks, he seemed like a step up from Jake. You couldn’t help but relish that the tables were turned.

“This is my boyfriend” you beamed, leaning in closer to Sebastian. This announcement shocked him as his eyes widened and his body stiffened. Yet somehow Jake didn’t seem to notice. Thank God.

You squeezed his arm, hoping he would understand to go along with the charade. Fortunately he got the signal and kept quiet.

“Oh, really? I didn’t realize you got a new boyfriend” Jake replied, irritation laced in his voice.

“Yup. He’s my boyfriend.” You tilted your head into Seb’s chest, acting as if it were only natural. “This is Chris.” Shit.

You hadn’t meant to say the wrong name. You heard the words slip out so carelessly and you almost winced. Almost. No, you couldn’t make a move. You needed to pretend you hadn’t messed up, that you hadn’t called Sebastian by his least favorite neighbor’s name.

Seb sucked in his breath, eyes widening at your name choice. He stared at you; it was almost as if he wasn’t sure you actually knew his name. You squeezed his arm once more, almost as if a lifeline to just keep quiet.

“Babe, this is Jake.” You extended out your arm, gesturing to him. “This is my, erm, ex-boyfriend.” Suddenly things began to make sense for him.

You knew Sebastian decently enough to know that he wasn’t one for lying. In fact, he always stuck to his guns about the rights and wrongs. It sometimes felt like he stood on his own pedestal, refusing to come down among the regular beings who made mistakes.

He had a choice to make: expose you or play along. The obvious choice would be to tell the truth, point out how the two of you were just neighbors and that his name wasn’t Chris.

But the pleading look in your eyes stopped him from doing so. He looked at your arms, still intertwined tightly to his arm. And with his free hand, he gently gave your arm a couple loving taps.

“Yes...I am...Chris” he eventually spoke, wishing you chose his actual name for this ruse.

Your arms relaxed slightly and you released a breath that you hadn’t realized you’d been holding. You knew you owed him big time, but that was to be discussed after.

As soon as it was clear he was willing to play along, things got increasingly easier. You told Jake about how you and Sebastian met, how you hadn’t meant to fall in love with one of your neighbors, but the two of you couldn’t fight the magnetic connection. Sebastian just stiffly nodded along, unsure of what to contribute to the conversation. You did most of the work; all he needed to do was stand there and look pretty.

So you continued faking pleasantries, taking Sebastian’s hands in yours. Your palms sweated, nervous about the piling lies as well as how Sebastian would later react. Clearly he could sense your discomfort but that this charade was something to prove. Letting go of your hand and pulling away for a brief moment, he adjusted so that you were in front of him and wrapped his arm around you.

Your heart beat quickly as you felt Sebastian rest his head on your shoulder. From Jake’s frown, you knew you owed him big time.

What you didn’t expect was Jake to ask the two of you to get coffee with him. Who in their right mind would ask their ex-girlfriend and her current beau out for a drink? Apparently Jake would. “I just think that it would be nice to catch up with you. And seeing as how Chris can’t keep his hands off you, I don’t mind if he wants to tag along.”

You wanted nothing more than to roll your eyes at the invite. There was no way you planned on spending more time with your ex, especially with this “Chris”. Except you and your neighbor were not on the same wavelength.

“That’d be great!” Sebastian agreed as the two men exchanged phone numbers. You could feel yourself mentally screaming, wishing that you could reverse time before Sebastian accepted that offer. If only.

As your ex-boyfriend walked off, you pulled out of Sebastian’s grasp and swiveled around to face him. “What are you doing?” you hissed, now looking at a confused Sebastian.

“I thought I was helping you with your ex-boyfriend.”

“I mean, yeah. Thank you for that. But you didn’t have to accept the offer!”

“I thought you wanted me to?”

“I would rather shoot myself in the foot than hang out with Jake again” you snarled, the memories of your ex-boyfriend flooding up. One look at Sebastian, and you realized your hostile tone was directed at the wrong person.  “Sorry, it’s not you” you apologized. “It’s just that Jake and I didn’t end on a good note.” He nodded, not needing an explanation.

“I guess...We just have to get through Saturday?” He agreed, and the two of you began heading towards the front of the grocery store to pay.

As the two of you made your way back to the apartment, you discussed plans of how to handle things. You decided you would visit his place to help pick out a good coordinating outfit and go over anything important that might arise in conversation.

Hauling the bags of groceries to your shared floor, the two of you stumbled onto the scene of Lucy and Chris arguing at his entryway.

“There’s something wrong with her! I know it!” she insisted, arms crossed across her chest.

Out of the corner of his eye, Chris spotted you. While this day had been nothing but poor timing, Chris eagerly welcomed the universe’s mistake. “You need to stop this right now, Lucy. You’re gonna upset my girlfriend!”

Sebastian turned around, expecting to see another woman in the hall. A perplexed expression crossed his face as he saw no one else, now confused by Chris’s words.

You, on the other hand, focused on the death glare being sent your way. What were you supposed to do? The woman looked like she’d rip you to shreds if you even attempted fighting her.

You opened your mouth, trying to form the right words. “I am...So upset…” Judging by Chris’s expression, this wasn’t going to get his stalker off his doorstep.

“No! I’m so angry!” you changed your phrasing, furrowing your brows. “How dare you?!” you yelled, gently placing your groceries on the ground before putting your hands on your hips. No way you were going to damage your eggs for this act. Please. But were you selling it enough? Chris rolled his eyes and gave a small nod, and you continued your awful performance.

“You need to get away from my man, please.” Another ‘ramp up the anger’ look from Chris. “No, you know what? No ‘please’. Get away from my man before I call the cops on you!” you snapped, pulling out your cell phone. You randomly tapped buttons on your phone before holding it up to your ear, pretending to wait for the police to pick up. Your bluff worried Lucy as she clenched her fists before letting out a loud scoff.

“I know something’s up” she hissed as she pushed past you and Sebastian. Once the apartment building door slammed shut, Chris grinned.

“That was pretty bad, but I liked that phone bit” he complimented as he gave you a couple of claps. You jokingly curtsied, pretending to enjoy the praise.  

“Wait, what’s going on?” Sebastian asked, still clueless to the what just occurred.  

“Oh, Chris has a stalker” you responded casually giving a shrug. Sebastian’s eyes widened before he scratched the back of his head in bewilderment.

“Y/N is pretending to be my girlfriend until Lucy gets the hint and leaves me alone.” Thankful for your help, Chris plucked up one of the bags from the ground to lighten your load.

Sebastian remained quiet, finding himself squatting to take in all the information. “Wait...Can you...What’s going on?” he questioned again. The two of you explained the predicament, giving him time to fully absorb the situation. He nodded at certain points, making it clear he was slowly beginning to digest all this information.

He sucked in a breath before exhaling slowly, eying you nervously before pressing his lips together. “Well, that’s gonna complicate things because I’m Y/N’s boyfriend.” Chris nearly dropped the groceries, startled by his announcement.

“Fake boyfriend” he continued, and you remembered that this was true. “Because her ex thinks that I’m her boyfriend. He also thinks that my name is Chris.”

Things on the fifth floor of Woodridge Oaks were about to get interesting.

tags list: @sleepybesson, @tomhaz, @supernatural-girl97

[herstarburststories]

You've lost your pain, congrats! ✘ Savitar/Evil!Barry Imagine ✘

✘ A/N: I REALLY took my time while I was writing this one, I’m sorry! Well, I gotta say it is kind of a little more special, I ended up getting friends with the one who requested it! Hope you like it, dear.

Beta: @lyss-91

✘ @enafaolan​ requested: Hello ! I've just found your tumblr yesterday but since you ask, can I request an imagine where the reader is part of team flash and secretly takes pity on Savitar when she learns the truth about him. So when Barry "accidentally" loses his memories (episode 21), she decides to go check on Savitar and finds him lost but as carefree as Barry. She stays with him while the others are trying to figure out a way to restore Barry's memories (because honestly, Savitar amnesic and alone why didn't we get to see that ?) She still there when he get his speed back. And when he finally recover his memories, he doesn't let her know at once because he enjoyed her company. x) I don't know if this is good and clear enough (english isn't my first language) but you'd be amazing if you could do this !

Our memories are stored in our brains, such as feelings, thoughts, other actions and emotions. That's the simplest way of saying that the brain keeps everything in order. Some even come to believe there is inside this little gray box where our soul is.

On the other hand, some people believe that our souls keeps our feelings, like a mother receiving a gift on Mother's day; she never lets go, no matter how ugly or bad it is. Our brain only gets the sporadic, exact, chemical, technical part. This part can easily be deleted in unexpected situations. Like a trauma.

This was the case of Barry Allen and his time remnant, Savitar. No surname, like God or Beyonce.

While The Flash, her friend and ex boyfriend, was being welcomed by everyone in that room, she couldn't help her mind to stay sane, letting herself get lost in an insanity lapse and finding her thoughts leading her to wonder if Savitar was alright.

Because Killer Frost surely wasn't the warmest company around, and if Barry was so confused and scared, even when he was surronded by people who cared about him, how would Savitar be?

Sighing, her (Y/E/C) eyes followed her teams steps out of the place. She listened carefully while their boss, Iris, ordened softly, but seriously: the plan was taking Barry to CCPD with Joe while Julian, Cisco and you tried to find way to fix what they had broken.

The girl with (Y/H/C) hair did not risk it asking the boss if they thought that Savitar was good, it'd be just a waste of time, and honestly, Julian probably would try to intern her fom such a stupid question.

(Y/N) herself was doubting her sanity.

You tried really hard to pay attention to whatever Julian and Cisco were arguing about, or even give them any creative idea that could help. Holy crap, even search on Google for idea on how to get a memory back. But it was as impossible as a man who runs as fast as the light's speed. Rolling her eyes at her own silly inside joke, she snorted in pure frustation. The reason why she couldn't focus her mind was pretty clear and was deeply annoying her, why the fuck was she caring so much about a killer?

Okay, time for a break. She was not being of any help here, not with that mentality.

''Guys, I'll buy some coffee.'' She announced casually, getting some murmurs and a happy shout from HR in response.

(Y/N) almost felt bad for not sharing her mind with the boys. Almost. Her heart was kind of too busy by feeling sad for Savitar. Anyway, she grabbed her faux fur coat and left.

But for being a Team Flash member, of course something bad had to happen before she was even able to put her foot outside the building.

''Hello, (Y/N).'' Killer Frost smiled malicioiusly, and the remember of a friend made you smile sadly instead of running away. She has had a lot of chances to kill you and haven't done it, Caitlin would never make you use her new name, or so you hoped.

She wasn’t like Savitar.

''What do you want, Caitlin?'' Your voice was low, tired. The sadistic games which your mind was preaching on you were enough for today, she didn't need Caitlin's personality disorder playing around.

''That's not my name.'' The white-haired girl growled, taking a step foward. Subtly, the weather around you both got considerably colder. You swallowed for the abrupt change of behavior, not for fear.

''Why are you here?'' (Y/N) asked directly, her eyebrows furrowed in curiosity.

''Savitar.'' Frost explained with some unnecessarily mean remarks, about the situation of which the self-tiltled god of speed was found. ''But I'd suppose that you know it already.''

''Take me to him.'' Before she could deny you, you kept going. ''You know you need to help Cisco to find a way to reverse it, he can't do it by himself. And both Savitar and Barry are guys that are extremely powerful and defenseless right now. Barry has his fianceé, yet Savitar is alone in some dark place. If anything, I will be the one taking the risk once he is awake, so what's the matter for you?''

The next thing you knew was darkness.

Xxx

So here you were: waking up on a watery floor. Not cool, Frost.

Savitar was also here, wearing his suit in a catatonic state. Only hanging on there, apparently staring at you.

''Savitar.''

''Who are you?'' The monstrous voice from Iris West and Barry Allen's lastest nightmares asked in a not friendly tone. Slowly getting you, you decided to try Iris' trick.

''I'm (Y/N). You know me.'' You said cautiously, taking out your phone that was resting in your pocket.

''I don-''

''I know you don't remember. But it's true. I-'' Quickly, still without using any inhuman velocity, Savitar grabbed your shoulders and threw you against a wall. Your heart raced in terror, but you weren't going to give up now; It was just you and him.

''How do I know you are not lying?'' His voice almost robotic sounded again when your trembling hand finally reached your phone.

''I-I've got pictures.'' You unlocked your cellphone as fast as you could with a swip up, showing him some old pictures in the gallery from when you and Barry used to date. No kissing photos or anything that could bring questions, though. ''See? I won't hurt you, I promise.''

The tight grip of him softened, and you could let your breath which you haven't even noticed that you were holding; your back leaving the wall as Savitar recoiled.

''Get out of your armor, please.''

And he did.

He finally did.

As Savitar get ride of the horrid methal, (Y/N) wondered if his first instinct was violence when Barry's one was confusion. Perhaps it's justification was the same of the reason which Barry asked about Iris' ring and trusted her so easily. His subconscious knew it.

''I don't remember anything.'' For the first time since Savitar showed up, his voice seemed as fragile as his body outside the armor. ''Not even my own name.''

''I know. You are experiencing a temporary memory loss.'' You were as as succinct as possible, and he seemed to be trying to get his mind around what seemed to be an explanation of Albert Einstein's advanced theoretical physics to a layman.

''Who am I?''

''You’re Savitar.'' You walked in his direction calmly, not knowing what reaction to expect.

Fortunately, he did not try to pull away when you got beside him.

''It doesn't seem like  my name...'' Savitar rummaged his pockets, probably looking for his wallet - just as Barry did. ''Hmm. Weird.''

God, he looked so fragile, so pure. You felt sick thinking that it had been taken away from him;

''Are you hungry? We can go out, eat something.'' He finally looked around, frowning in confusion at the sight of the place. But he still shook his head in denial. ''Or we can just stay here. It works for me.''

A few seconds of silence passed, Savitar seemed to be carefully analyzing all the details of everything around him, the place, the visible part of his body to his eyes, you.

Sighing, (Y/N) decided to try her luck, hesitantly touching his hand. He, of course, tried to retreat scared, and his armor raised its guard, but you held your hand steady, taking his.

''I'm here.'' Savitar looked into her eyes. ''I am here.''

And that seemed enough.

''I'm scared.'' He admitted, making her heart tear up little bit.

''You don't need to be scared.'' You smiled gently. ''I'm here.'' The pain was gone, you knew that. But Savitar's scars remained there.

Nodding, he stroked your hand, unconsciously sending a timely thought.

Xxx

''Big Belly Burguer.'' Savitar read the establishment's sign in that afternoon, a carefree smile playing on his lips. ''I like it here?''

''You absolutely love this place,'' You giggled, slipping into the place and sitting down at the usual table. '' Mostly the fries. There was a time when you'd woke up at three in the morning just because you dreamed of fries and we would ended up here!''

They laughed and their conversation continued in that casual rhythm, anyone looking outside would bet a penny that the couple would eventually marry. Around you, it was a completely harmonious and comfortable mood, and that moment was so magnetic for both of them that they forgot to order the food - which is something big, especially considering the body of a speedster as fast as the god of speed .

The hours passed by like seconds when night fell in all its glory, as Iris declared her love for Barry through a childlike memory, the memories of the villain and the hero merged into a single yin-yang .

Savitar closed his eyes, attacked without any warning by the weight of his sins while who was taking care of him all along made her request to the waiter was kind heavy.

His mind was more fucked up than usual and he had the luxury of stopping time for a few moments, (Y/N), the only girl his nemesis and himself had loved besides Iris West, had stayed by his side. Despite all the threats, fear, mistakes. Which he committed to his team, to her.

He couldn't lie to himself, (Y/NN) was always one in a million, the Cleopatra to his Julius Cesar in a future where he was without Iris West. But wherever he came to, she had not existed as a romantic interest to Barry Allen - ironically, the girl was married to Eddie Thawne in many earths.

Savitar had enjoyed her company more than that. For the first time in millennia as a god, he had finally felt in the presence of a goddess after his own left him for a heroic copy.

''And five big fries, thank you.'' (Y/N) finalized their request as Savitar let time go by as it was supposed to.

'' Do not forget the mayonnaise.'' Savitar warned the waiter, not actually aware to the meaning of those words. His ex lover raised her eyebrows at his elbow when the teenager who was attending them left.

''Did you remember anything?''

''Hm.'' Savitar quickly composed himself. The remnant of time had enjoyed being with someone like that. No violence, just... Being. Well, not with someone really, he wouldn't like to be like this with anyone else but her. '' Mayonnaise just seems... Good. Like you here.''

This had been the cutest thing in the world, the cliché that Barry Allen would be ready to say at any moment, not really a Savitar thing.

But her smile made left him feeling like an idiot for saying something like that was worth it.

[seokjingiggles]

Full Speed Ahead

genre: fluff, angst

member: jimin

words: 2779

Wild animals can have bigger hearts than humans.

I had a lot of fun creating this and I would love to do more requests hehe :)

Again, thank you for requesting and I hope you enjoy it! ( ´ ∀ `)ノ～ ♡

What began as a minor quarrel at dinner escalated into a monstrous fit of yelling, insulting, and slamming doors within minutes. You were enjoying a romantic steak dinner with your boyfriend when you brought up “the topic” for the millionth time this week.

“Jimin, it's not that I think you don't love me anymore. It's just that you leave before I even wake up and come home an hour before I fall asleep. I literally have you for just an hour a day. I'm your girlfriend, aren't I? Don't I deserve a little more of Park Jimin than your stupid band?”

Being needy was one thing, but bashing his best friends was something Jimin could not and would not tolerate. Ever.

Jimin abruptly stood up from his chair, not bothering to push it back in. He glared at you with stone cold eyes as he stormed closer to you.

“Call them stupid one more time.” His voice sliced through the air.

You knew you were getting into dangerous territory, but to be honest, you were tired of his bullshit and stubborn enough to not consider what you were getting yourself into. 

“If you think seven boys singing a bunch of lousy songs for eleven year old girls is more important than spending quality time with your girlfriend, then yes. Your band is very stupid.” You crossed your arms in defense to conclude your first move.

Fury flashed across his already flaming expression. He menacingly hovered above you and stuck a finger in your face, just inches from your widened eyes. Maybe you were going overboard.

“You don't think I try to come home sooner? You don't think I work my ass off in that practice room so I have more time to be with you? You don't think the company hates me for lying about sick days? You don't think the fans despise me because of you? I go through a lot of shit for you, Y/N. And if you’re stupid enough to not realize that and be thankful, then you can leave. I've only been good to you. What have I gotten in return? Nothing.”

You pressed a hand against his chest and pushed him away. He was exaggerating things just so he could be right. He was trying to put all the blame on you and it was time to defend yourself. You smacked his finger out of your face. Jimin looked as if steam was spewing out of his ears.

You narrowed your eyes and snarled, “Are you fucking blind? I iron your clothes, wash the dishes, clean the house, do the laundry, buy the groceries, make breakfast, lunch, and dinner, take out the trash, wash the windows, vacuum the floors, and I even bring you homemade lunch every day! I call your parents when you’re disgusting enough to not want to talk to them. You haven’t seen them in two years and your mother cries every time she calls because she misses you. She asks me how you’ve been but I can never tell her the truth. I don’t even know myself and I fucking live with you! I guess I’m the servant of the house based on how you’re treating me. Definitely not your girlfriend that shares a life with you. Next time, I’ll tell your mom that you’re doing just fine. Neglecting your family, spending all of our money, wrecking the house, staying up late doing who knows what. Yeah, she’ll definitely appreciate that from the son she worries so much about.” You were breathing hard and Jimin’s chest was heaving from bottled up anger. He was smoldering and you didn’t want to hear any more of his bullshit excuses. You walked straight past him and locked the bedroom door behind you, making sure to slam it hard enough to make the chandelier tremble. You stood with your back against the door. Rubbing your eyes with the palm of your hands, you knew you had taken it too far. 

Jimin’s hasty footsteps thrashed towards the bedroom. The door shook as he pounded a fist against it.

Clearing his throat he snarled, “You've always been a slutty, needy bitch. I can't even remember the last time I enjoyed having sex with you. Hell, I despise kissing you. You talk about Jungkook way too much to “just be friends.” I've seen how you look at him. I've seen how your eyes glide across his muscles. I’ve seen how you shamelessly bite your lip when he talks to you. You never look at me that way anymore...And you're telling me you miss me? I'm such a dumbass for ever believing in your bullshit. You never loved me and I wasted so much time and money on you. I deserve better than scum. Get the fuck out of my life. I can't even breathe right knowing I'm in the same building as you. Go fuck yourself.”

And with that, he grabbed his coat and left the apartment, shutting the door with enough force to make the entire apartment quake. You jolted as a picture of Jimin and you fell and shattered on the ground. That was the first Christmas present you had ever given him. Your back slid down the door until your butt plopped on the floor. The tears you had been holding back for the past few weeks had finally defeated you. You sobbed loudly into your hands, wailing apologies and yelling at yourself for being so selfish and vile. You felt enraged and hurt. This was really it. Jimin had left for good this time. His piercing words lingered and made your head throb. He was right. He didn’t deserve you. He deserved someone who understood his busy schedule and accepted him for who he was. You felt sick to your stomach and ran to the toilet to retch in the bowl. You winced when you saw your complexion in the mirror. Your makeup was smeared all over the place, your hair was a tangled wreck, and your eyes were red from bawling tremendously. You had to avert your gaze from the mirror, too disgusted in yourself. 

It was time to move on.

You didn’t want to be this person any longer. You didn’t want to be the girl always waiting for someone else. You wanted to be with someone who wanted you, who needed you. You wanted to share love with someone so strong that nothing could wear it down. Park Jimin wasn’t that someone.

You packed a hefty duffel bag with various clothes and possessions. This time, you didn’t bother to wash the dishes or clean up the broken glass from the picture frame. The last thing you did before you left the apartment was write Mrs. Park’s phone number on a piece of paper that you stuck to the fridge. Jimin never bothered to save his own mother’s contact in his phone.

As you waited for a cab to pick you up, you took several long, deep breaths. You had no idea what the hell you were doing. You didn’t have any family in the city and most of your friends were also friends of Jimin’s. You didn’t want anything to do with him right now so you were on your own. You checked the time on your phone. It was getting pretty late and the city wasn’t getting any warmer. You rubbed your hands together as you saw two beams of a car’s headlights scythe through the air. Your cab arrived.

“Hello there. Do you need any help with your bags?” the driver said as he turned his head to face you.

“No, no. I’m fine, thank you.” You placed your duffel bag next to you and let your hands rest in your lap.

The cab driver sensed your weary tension and smiled kindly. “Alrighty then. Where to this late at night?” 

You hadn’t thought this far yet. Looking through the window at the moon, you concluded that you would figure everything out in the morning. “Just get me away from here. I don’t care,” you murmured and rested your head against the window.

The man sighed and started the engine. He seemed nice enough. You hoped he wouldn’t ask anymore questions about you.

The ride commenced with ease. You closed your eyes and set your mind free. You ignored the pestering responsible portion of your brain that refused to stop blaring at you to go back. You fell asleep, careless of everything, ignorant of the world around you, and oblivious to Park Jimin.

Within an hour, Jimin was back at your shared apartment. He originally had planned to see his friends, go out for drinks, and not worry about the next step. But when he pulled into their dorm’s driveway, he realized that he had taken your car keys on accident. His fingers fondled with the pink Apeach character keychain he gave you for Christmas three years ago. Jimin was pretty terrible at giving sentimental gifts, but you loved his first Christmas present all the same.

What the hell am I doing? She must be devastated. I shouldn’t have left. I shouldn’t have said those things. What is wrong with me? 

Jimin bolted home and scurried up the stairs to the third floor of the apartment complex. He was already crying imagining how hurt you must have been. He felt so shitty for everything he had said, everything he had done. Unlocking the door and bursting in, Jimin said, “Y/N, I’m so so so sorry for everything. I didn’t mean any of it...Y/N? Where are you? Y/N??” 

His hands were shaking as he turned the knob to your bedroom. You weren’t there and all of your clothes were missing. Not wanting to believe what was happening, Jimin tore through every room, every closet, searched behind every door, ran down the hallways asking the neighbors if they saw you, and called all of his friends begging to tell him where you were. He trudged back to his apartment empty-handed and crying. He lost you. You were gone and you were never coming back. Jimin messily ran his fingers through his hair and screamed your name at the top of his lungs with no response. He stomped his feet and dug his nails into his arms in frustration. Why did he do it? Why did he spit out such horrid lies at you? Why was he such a ravaging beast? You were right. Jimin didn’t care about anyone. He wasn’t considerate of his actions and he didn’t have the heart to tell his mom he was dying on the inside because he had so much love to give you but with so little time each day. He didn’t know how to tell you that he was tired. Tired of having to put on a smile everyday to please his fans. Tired of leaving when it’s still dark out and coming home just to kiss you goodnight. He hated putting you in this situation. You deserved so much more than what he could offer. And now, he couldn’t give you anything.

Jimin collected himself enough to sit down and text you. He couldn’t pour out his heart through texts but he tried anyway. He left you hundreds of texts and voice messages confessing things that he was too shy to say aloud. You didn’t respond. His heart broke at the realization that he was nothing to you anymore.

You woke up to the screeching of tires and your head almost hitting the car seat in front of you. You yelped in shock as you saw what made the cab stop so abruptly. Two deer, a male and a female, jumped, just feet away from the vehicle. You watched in awe as the male deer licked his mate’s ear as she searched him for wounds. Seconds later, they scurried off the road and into the darkness. Ironically, it was the most humane behavior you had witnessed today. They looked out for each other. The animals blindly ran into the road, unknowing and naive, and mercilessly faced death. But it didn’t matter because they did it together. They shared a bond so intimate that they were willing to risk it all for their love. They suffered together and cleaned each other’s wounds. And in the end, they ran off, untouched, and even more in love.

You checked your phone.

479 texts and 24 missed calls from Park Jimin

He loved you, and you loved him.

“Stop the car!” you hissed, hot tears forming around your eyes.

The driver swiftly hit the brakes and turned to face you. He was grinning, as if he knew what you were about to request.

“I’m sorry, but can you take me back to where you picked me up? I don’t know where we are and I wanna go home. I love him and miss him and wanna kiss and hug him. I wanna  be in his arms and cuddle up until we fall asleep, his hand around my waist and my hand stroking his hair. I wanna see him again and tell him how much I regret saying all those things and leaving him. I wanna forget about all this and start over. I wanna tell him everything’s okay and that his mom loves him. I wanna be with him forever and the thought of him being alone, thinking that no one wants him will kill me unless I see him again. Take me home.”

The poor driver blinked with wide eyes. In his twenty-three years of working as a taxi driver, he had never seen a girl empty her heart teeming with that much love before. He spun the car around and raced home, full speed ahead.

You thanked the driver and handed him whatever cash you had on you. You bustled out of the car and practically threw yourself into the apartment complex. If you didn’t get to him soon, your heart was going to burst.

You fumbled with the keys in your sweaty hands. They slipped and you reached down to get them. As you crouched down, you heard crying from the other side of the door. Hand on the doorknob, you took a deep breath. What did you do in your past life to deserve Jimin? You started the fight that made him decompose.

You heard his faint, quivering whispers from inside. “Why, God...I’m begging you. Y/N. Please come back. I can’t live without you. I can’t...”

You found yourself inside the living room, walking as fast as you could, beelining towards him. His face was in his hands and his shoulders were shaking. His toes were curled and his disheveled hair stuck out in all directions. He looked up at the sound of the creaking floorboards. Jimin’s face was red and blotchy. You shrunk at the sight of his condition.

Unsure if you were really standing in front of him, Jimin hesitated and stood up quickly. He wiped his nose and made desperate eye contact with you. Your eyes watered.

“I’m sorry,” you both uttered at the same time.

You paced towards him and clutched his hands. “Jimin, it was my fault. I had no right to confront you about something I know you can’t do anything about. I was just frustrated and lonely because I barely get to see you anymore. What the hell was I thinking walking out on you like that? You must’ve been worried sick. My heart aches just imagining you sitting here by yourself crying, thinking that you fucked up, even though I’m the one to blame.” You searched deep into his eyes, your look telling him things you couldn’t muster to say.

He squeezed your hands and replied in a raspy voice. “I didn’t do any better by screaming at you like that. The shit I said was cruel and unfair. I didn’t consider how and why you were feeling so alone. I’ll talk to the company and try to change the schedule. I’ve always wanted to see you more. I would drop everything just to be with you. And when you disappeared, I felt like I was going to die. My life lost purpose. Everything around me crumbled because I thought I lost you,” he whimpered as he gathered you into a hug.

“But you didn’t. I’m not gonna let you lose me. Never again.” You snuggled up to him, placing your ear against his chest. You felt his heart thump steadily and your lips curved into a smile. His cologne had worn off and his musky scent swaddled you.

You were glad to be home.

Uhh I was nOT expecting the rebranding yesterday !!! They’re really growing up now :”))))

Tyvm for requesting and reading! Accepting requests/asks! ❤️

[bpd-insane]

For a friend...

It’s BPD time! Now this message to you is not only going to include the thing I need to tell you, but a few different things I need to explain in great detail. I promise, by the end of this (if it doesn’t end with you saying that “The line has been crossed”) you will be saying to yourself; “THAT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE”. You’ll actually probably say that a lot through out this post. I need you to know that BPD is different for everyone; While the symptoms are mostly the same; they are defined differently for me. So this is all about MY BPD.

So first I wanna list the BPD symptoms again. The most common ones are a fear of abandonment which is triggered by being ignored, feeling rejected, being made to feel second best etc. There’s also splitting (I’ll get to that), acting impulsive, getting manic/furious/very easily, unstable relationships based on a need for attention and validation, unstable self image and obviously mood swings.

Im going to jump into my first topic; Splitting. Splitting for me can be;

Splitting can be a few different things but for me it’s mostly when someone does something that may seem small or unimportant to others, but for me triggers very intense emotions, be it anger, love, irritation, jealousy etc. Feeling that intense emotion if it’s negative makes me want to push the person away and I get very angry. If it’s a positive emotion, I feel full of love and happiness for them. Splitting can also sometimes make me feel indifferent, as though I just don’t care and they could disappear and it wouldn’t bother me. Now I want to add that I’ve NEVER felt like that about you. I’ve been intensely angry at you, so much that I wanted to disappear. But if you had, I wouldn’t know what to do.

So enough about splitting; I’ve only just found out about the correct term for it; So I’ve been burying myself into internet research about splitting. I’m gonna move on to my impulsive behavior and reactions.

Ooooh this is a SUPER fun one. (It’s realllllly not, it’s quite awful.) Lets just say, when certain things happen to me that trigger something within me; I react different than other people such as yourself. We are gonna to go on some examples. Example one of my horrid impulsive behavior; SPENDING UNNEEDED MONIES. I do this one a lot. Mostly when I’m depressed. (I know I know, when am I not? Lmao) When I’m at the store, we could have little to no money or a ton, I will buy things I just DO NOT need. Things that will completely kill me in finances. While I’ve cut this down a lot, I still do it sometimes. It can get bad. I can even get as bad as that I will spend money on people I care about. A lot of it. XAAAMPLE TWO: When there is a comment made such as… Let’s use the first time you took witness to my BPD. Yaaaay! Lmao not. When we were doing WOTM, someone made the comment; “If you aren’t ready at all times to raid, then don’t raid.” I remember whipping my head up from giving Alex his sippy cup and completely going off on this guy. For me when I do this in front of people, I instantly feel embarrassed, and I 9 times out of 10; Leave that activity or end the conversation.

Okay; As impulsive behavior goes, that’s PRETTTY much it. Now I’m going to move onto the more difficult symptom of my illness. This is the one I’ve been debating with myself on telling you because as I said before, it could very well cross a line. If this does, I need you to tell me. If you don’t, If you repress those feeling for way to long and you let this continue, it will be worse for me. You need to tell me what your 100% honest feelings are about all of this, honestly. The whole post you’ve read and are going to read.

Okay this one is called “Favorite person”. Now this does not mean the same thing to me that it means when you read that. A favorite person is something I’m embarrassed about telling you. But absolutely 100% cannot control.

A favorite person is someone that we tend to want the most attention and validation from. We want to be in contact with them constantly, and we want them to care about us like we do them. However, as people who are borderline like myself, feel a lot more intensely than others, this is not always the case. Feeling undervalued because of this can cause dissociation and us to split on them. We also often mirror our FP due to the fact that we idealise them, and see everything that they do as wonderful. This means we imitate many of their behaviours, actions, and even the way that they speak in an attempt to be “good like them”. This can actually be very frustrating for our FP, especially if they also suffer from any mental illness. If you haven't figured it out thus far; You are my FP... Basically; Let's be straight. If you noticed that when you have "off days", I am noticeably more attentive towards you in my quest to help you in anyways possible. I am not going to stray from any form of the truth here, when you are gone. It does fucking suck. But don't think for one second that I can't handle it when you are. Don't you think either that I constantly NEED to talk to you in an obsessive manor, it's not like that. Not at all. But your company is that I want all the time. Your attention does in fact mean the world to me. I know you didn't ask for this if at this point that's what your thinking. Quite frankly I don't know what you're thinking. You could be understandable and logical and you could be thinking that I'm psychotic. Whether you're thinking "I didn't ask for this, I didn't sign up for this". I need you to remember that I DIDNT either. I didn't pick you, Steven. My disorder and my brain did. You wanna know why? Because you are that person. You are AMAZING. You're so funny, we have SO much in common. Hell, I've been working on this post for hours. Do you know what I am right now? Scared out of my god damn mind. There is so much I hide from you, you don't have any idea. It's horrible what goes through my head. When it does, I constantly tell myself "I wanna go talk to him, I wanna tell him." But you wanna know what else this SICKNING disorder tells me? "He doesn't give a shit, act okay, play the part. He will believe it and all will be fine." That. THAT is the hardest part about this. Telling you? That basically I've lied to you quite a few times when you have asked me if I'm okay. I'm afraid you will think "Damn this girl has way to many problems, is she ever gonna be okay? Is she never gonna not have a problem?" I'll answer that. There are days I actually am okay, but there will never be a day that something is not bothering. But I'll tell you right now, you're not always going to know. That's part of being my FP. My happiness doesn't matter to me like it should, yours does. If you're happy, fine. I'll repress and be fine. I didn't plan on this tangent, but I started writing and here we are. You mean a great deal, you would have regardless of this BPD crap I have. YOU are a great person. I've thought that from day one. You can make me smile like no one else. Don't let that scare ya. If you need time to accept this, take it. I probably won't understand, but that's the disorder. If you don't ever wanna talk to me again, if this crossed a line, if you don't want to be super close anymore, I'll understand one day, but you need to do you. There is shit I never say to you, shit like I do miss you a ton when you go, that I do love you to fucking death Steven. But you still need to do you. This is much of what I needed to say. The last thing I'm going to tell you is that I also lied to you today. My BPD wasn't the only reason I was off. I went to take a nap. I had a god damn "nightmare" whatever. You had a damn heart attack in my face. Idk why that's what went through my dream, but it did. I woke up in panic. Anyways, that's never happened before so you know. Writing this on Tumblr to you was the easiest way I could do this. I did this not only for you, but myself. The choice is yours. I love you. -Jolynn/Sebastian.