#I Hecked up Mugs eye for stars sake

[awkwardnik0]

FINALLY!

(2/17/23) AFTER 3 FRICKING DAYS ON WORKING ON THIS SIMPLE ART! I FINALLY DONE IT! AND GOD IM PROUD... also Mugsy only has stickers bec I don't have stickers that fit Cups...

Hope you like my Casino Cups fanart :D

*realizes they forgot the artist sinister...* F*ck... it's okay... if you wanna show it off- pls credit me! :D

Casino Cups belong to: @askcupsandcasinos

Art style: Me/Bruh :D

(Edit [10/27/23]: I realized this is very old... someone help me- a lot of hard earned effort... hope the creator of this amazing AU enjoys the fanart of Cups and Mugs... aha- pls dont mind the color testing... i was struggling on what to color da bois ^^)

[levisblackbabe]

Headcanons of Aot boys with a black gf

Characters: Eren Jeager , Armin Arlert, Levi Ackerman, Connie Springer and Jean Kirstein x fem black reader (separate)

Genre: Mostly fluff, slight angst, deffo crack, (everyone is +18)

Warnings: Language, a bit toxic, slightly suggestive

Wc: 1500+ (Each character is about 300-400 words)

Eren Jeager (The lowkey Toxic one)

· Lowkey scared of y/n because she reminds him of Levi when she is angry, and he knows she will beat his ass if necessary

· Started out as friends but he has always liked y/n

· He initially asked you out as a dare and you only found out after 6 weeks where you broke up 😐

· This legit started the cycle of breaking and getting back together (he never cheated though just a lil bit toxic)

· He is very possessive and controlling which also lead to your break ups

· Even though you have your ups and down he is mostly a good boyfriend

· He plays basketball so every time he is practising on his own, he asks you to be there for rebounds (in reality he just wants you near him baso 24/7)

· Loves your smell so he steals those items might be your lotion, hair products or perfume

· Loves your natural hair and just touches it without permission after a couple times you just gave up telling him off

· He was confused on why you changed your hair so often

· When you guys first started dating you came with box braids rather then your usual bun and he deadass thought you were somebody else 💀he was so confused on why this stranger was touching him up (this mf loyal cuz he was ready to punch you)

· He was soooo scared of meeting your parents (had to call Armin to ask for advice)

· Your family at first didn’t like him cuz of the constant breaking up but they grew to tolerate him (however your older brother doesn’t)

· Loves taking pictures of you during facetime, golden hour or whenever and saves them in a folder (simp)

· Loves your cooking soo much that he goes collect tubber ware of food worth a week and stocks up his fridge

· He loves when you speak to him in another language so he pisses you off so you can cuss him out in your native tongue

· He barely calls your name its either babe or some cringey name like bubbs or something (however if you hear your full name leave his month rip)

Armin Artlet (The simp)

· SHY BAE that’s it

· He was your English tutor and has always had a crush on you

· He wanted to ask you out on a date, but he shy and thought you won’t like white boys

· You asked him instead cuz you fell for his ocean blue eyes (I mean who wouldn’t)

· In the beginning you had to take the initiative a lot cuz he wanted to respect your boundaries but after a while he grew comfortable and took the lead

· He LOVES your natural hair and knows your wash day schedule, so he always offers to help anyway possible

· He was absolutely scared of meeting your family cuz once again he white 😐 however everyone loved him

· He most definitely invited to the family reunion

· Your aunts adore him and they always talking about you as a baby to him

· He always doing late night ft calls with you, and he WON’T hang up cuz he wants to see your face when you wake up

· Armin is a giver, so he always offers to buy thigs for your and just buy gifts at least once a week

· He also loves cooking for and with you (once you had a cooking competition and technically, he is a better cook, but he let you win)

· He likes sending random pictures of things you like and remind him of you

· He happily takes pictures of you (photographer Armin)

· You guys have a pet turtle called Mickey 🐢

· His nicknames for you are beautiful, pretty and stuff like that

· Just overall fluff

Levi Ackerman (the co-worker)

· You guys have been co-workers for 2 years actually

· You thought he hated you but in reality, he does he just acts stingy towards cuz he is Levi 😐 (some serious enemies to lovers vibe)

· He didn’t confess and never would have but due to a drunken Hange letting it slip during a hang out with your co-workers you found out

· He deadass ignored you for a week like if he saw you, he would turn into Houdini and disappear

· However, you once caught him distracted and forced him to talk to you

· Reluctantly so he spoke the truth and asked you out (thought he seemed angry about it)

· Now you guys have happily been dating

· Everyone in your office finds you lucky cuz Levi is the finest man in the office heck the world (if he was real, I would leave my bf 😭)

· He actually has a 5-year-old daughter (DILF! Levi) and told you why he never said anything about his feeling was because you know single dad and shiz

· After 6 weeks you met his babygirl and she is the cutest she loves you considering she never had much of a mother figure in her life

· His daughter is mixed so he knows how to deal with natural hair thanks to YouTube, so he sometimes helps with yours (such a good dad)

· But now that you are here you offer to do any protective styles and give him tips

· Levi isn’t very open, but he expresses his love to you with physical touch, acts of service or gifts

· However, he speaks very softly to his daughter he seems different

· Due to his love language being touch he loves petting your hair (only when you have protective styles) and putting his head on it ( he is tall in my head okay)

· He loves having you in close proximity to you and just somehow touching you

· Him and your dad really hit it off because they both have daughters

· Your aunts are lowkey infatuated with him

· Loves making breakfast for you but due to your busy schedule he just buys your coffee in the morning

· He will never tell you, but he has trouble falling asleep but when you sleepover he actually has a full nights rest (he has silk sheets just for you)

· He might seem closed off, but you know he loves you due to the little things

Connie Springer (the bestfriend)

a/n I just want to say Connie will be of Hispanic heritage for the sake of this headcanon also because all the fanfics I read about him he is portrayed as Hispanic I just write him like this however this isn’t to offend anyone or play onto stereotypes.

· You guys have been besties since freshman year high school

· You hooked up freshman year of college and been dating ever since

· Nothing really changed in your dynamic other than the fact yall kiss and do the deed

· Like you legit call each other insults though Connie likes calling slime and bubbs

· You jokingly calling each other baby mama and baby daddy (manifesting kids but whatever)

· Speaking of kids, you have plushies that you call kids and rotate them around (they are from your arcade date)

· Loves being on call with you when he is playing because it helps calm him down and not break his tv (anger issues much)

· HYPEMAN if you are looking fine asf he will hype you up so much and offer to take pictures for the gram

· You have a joint TikTok account where you reaching 10k and just do dumb couple stuff its cringey but cute (Same goes for your joint spam account where you guys just do silly things together)

· He always asks to do your hair which you repetitively deny keeping in mind last time you let him he nearly ripped off half your scalp

· Late nights drives happen a lot so you can vent and have a heart to heart under the stars, you guys also just vibe to the music and might spend hours in silence looking at the city lights and dancing

· If you fall asleep on him or in the drive back he becomes really cute and soft and just says you are beautiful and that he loves you in Spanish (ugh my heart)

· He only speaks Spanish when he wants to be cute and knows you won’t understand

· Your family have always liked him so when you guys started dating everyone was like ‘FINALLY’ (same with his family)

· Some type of kid’s movie marathon once a month cuz being a child is great

· Its just overall jokes

Jean Kirstein (Mr Doesn’t Give Up)

· Kept asking you out for a year until you gave in, he was so excited he kissed you straightaway

· He was so nervous in your first date, but he was a gentleman opening doors etc (whoever said chivalry was dead 🤨)

· Nearly said I love you on the first date considering he has liked you for a year, but he held it in

· However, he did get a kiss goodnight on the cheek (he was grinning like a fool)

· Loves the fact that you change your hair so much and so often that he happily gives recommendations and offers to help you out

· He is the overprotective type of boyfriend so he was reluctant on you meeting his friends especially Eren, but you reassured him that you wouldn’t be swayed (still icky about you hanging with Eren though)

· He adores playing pc games with you and you have a little family in Sims4 which is cute

· He now has a skincare routine because you introduced him to it (he said he didn’t need one cuz he has a ‘handsome face’ but he secretly started one lol

· He also steals your body lotion and legit smells like you (smh)

· His wrist always has a silk crunchie in case you need it, and, in his car, he has a bag with essentials for you such as pads, edge control, etc

· He calls you cute pet names but also the occasional insults as a joke

· He is lowkey rich, so he happily spoils you to fancy dinners and more

· He also likes going back to the basics so picnic dates in the spring and summer are common he says he cooks them but in reality, it’s his mum

· Your mum absolutely adores him cuz he is a ‘charmer’

· He likes facetiming you when he is working out so he can show up, but you just ignore him and continue doing what you are doing

· Like Eren he has a folder filled of mugs of you

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[wizkiddx]

hiii could you do one of tom asking your dad to marry you?? thankuuuuu

okay so I don't believe in boys having to ask the dads, because we are strong independent QUEENS and no man owns me ever, but I hope this is still okay <33

not proof read and written super quick so sorry!

summary: Tom's terrified to ask your dad a very particular question question

///////////////////////////////////////////////

“Mr Y/l/n” Tom called your dads attention from the dishwasher he was loading up. The holidays spent at your parents meant a lot of good things- but mainly food. So much so the dishwasher was almost continually on, just so you didn’t run out of crockery.

“Its Y/d/n Tom, we’ve been through this.” He was joking but with your Dad - Tom could never really tell. At heart your dad was an absolute softie, except no one really saw that except your mum and you. Always a daddies girl, Tom knew how much your dad had meant to you. He had guessed before he’d met you parents , that he would be protective.

And that he was, never frontally rude or cruel. It was more subtle - though to Tom it was very damn clear, he had his doubts. As a people pleaser, Tom didn’t like the fact he didn’t like him. Time and time again, he’d tried to prove just how much you meant to him and yet it seemed to fall on deaf ears. So three years down the line, it was safe to say he was bloody terrified. Heart-in-mouth sort of event. Tom did a lot of ‘terrifying things’: talking to massive studio heads; going on stage with thousands of people screaming; jumping out a plane even.

But no, a single conversation with your dad had his adrenaline going like nobodies business. Asking to marry you.

“You going to just stand their gawking? I hope the moviestar doesn’t make my Y/n do all the housework?”

“No sir I-of course I don’t” Stammering his way through with wide eyes, Tom practically leapt across the kitchen to the opposite side of the dishwasher to your dad. Secretly your Dad was chuckling away to himself, taking absolute delight in how terrified the ‘movie star’ was of him, but managed to keep a steely outershell. In silence, the two uunloaded the dishwasher, Tom desperately racking his brains for conversation starters.

This is what he did for a living, learnt the speech he’d spent hours preparing, then retell it. Why then, was Tom having such an issue with the script he’d arguable practiced the most? Deciding he needed a buffer, Tom went to the safe space of small talk.

“So how was the pub? Y/n said you were meeting some old friends?”

“Watched the match, bloody awful game and Wilks was crap, I don’t know why he even started.” Now this football talk was something Tom felt safe in. He had learnt as much as he could about your dads team - just so there was some mutual conversation.

“Yeh tell me about it, I caught the last half. Though the ref made so bad decisions too, that penalty never really was VAR or not.”

“Thats the most respectable thing I’ve ever heard you say.”

The next couple of minutes were spent with both men raving fanatically, letting all their anger out on the pretty subpar game this afternoon. In fact, Tom swore your dad actually laughed along with him at one point. Admittedly he’d caught himself almost immediately- but for two seconds, he had cracked it.

With the last mug placed in the cabinet, Tom was quite frankly shocked at what your dad said next. He had presumed that since it was late and everyone else was in bed, Y/d/n wouldn’t want quality time with his daughters boyfriend.

“You fancy a nightcap son?”

He’d never called Tom that either. Frankly, you dad preferred the nickname ‘moviestar’ because he knew it infuriated Tom. Made the tips of his ears flush bright red, that was Toms tell - one that your dad had noticed too early on.

Jerkily Tom nodded, swallowing down the lump in his throat as he followed the elder man to the sitting room - where he kept the scotch glasses and bottle. No sooner had the drinks been poured, that Tom practically exploded with his thoughts.

“Mr Y/l/n-sorry I mean Y/d/n I-I um I needed to ask you something.” All he got was a long sigh and a nod, encouraging him to continue. “I-uhm….”Tom scoffed, clearing his throat because all of a sudden it felt like he hadnt had a drink in 10 hours, mouth completely dry.

“Well first off-and all respect. I know I don’t have to ask you. Y/n is the most independent and strong woman and we aren’t living in the 1950s. But, well but she loves you alot.” Tom stressed that last point especially, looking up to your dads poker face. It put him off for moment.

It was just how grumpy he looked, it was bloody terrifying. Taking a big gulp of the malty liquid, Tom steeled himself once again. “ And she respects you, your opinion always matters and I’d never come between that. And Y/n, she likes her traditions right? Like the stupid hat game you all play at Christmas dinner which makes no sense to me? Or the puzzle that you don’t start till everyone’s pretty drunk and tired at 3 o’clock in the morning on christmas? So that is… uhm thats why I’m asking you.”

Again all Tom was met with was a stern gaze, once again taking another generous sip of the scotch.

“Look I know you have your doubts about me- “ That got a response, a snort of agreement from your dad as if saying ‘you think’.

“But-but I really love your daughter. She’s my whole world and I can’t imagine being without her. And I know my lifestyle probably doesn’t fit with how you imagined your daughter to have. I mean-I’m not always at home and I’m away for months but- but…. look.” Tom sighed, shifting awkwardly on the sofa to directly face your dads armchair. “When I’m homesick and tired and grouchy from filming and I get back to the hotel I facetime Y/n. Everyday. And just seeing her smile, you-you know, the really soft small one that makes her dimples pop out? One look at that smile and everythings fine. Because all I’m thinking about is seeing that smile for the rest of my life. When she finds out she’s pregnant with our kid, when we’re taking them to college. I mean even when we’re 80 and probably sick of each other- she’ll still have that little smile that puts me into this sort of stupor. I just- I love her. And I’d do anything for her, I always will, I promise you that. So-so” With a shaky breath, Tom delivered his hitline.

“This is me just letting you know that I’m going to ask her to marry me and- I really hope she says yes.”

Tom was almost out of breath, and the breath he did have was shaky, looking up desperately at the older man across from him. He watched with wide eyes as your Dad placed his glass back on the drinks table with a clink, before leaning forward and standing up from the chair. He groaned slitghtly at the movement (his knees werent what they used to be) and took the two steps forward to be stood right infront of Tom’s seat. In that moment, Tom honestly thought he was getting a punch to the jaw at the very least. Afterall, he had just pretty much demanded that he were to propose to you.

As he braced for impact, tensing all his muscles, instead what he felt was a light pat to his right shoulder. Tom trailed his eyes up your dads figure to see what he thought was a gentle smile on his face too. Though he hadn’t ever seen your Dad smile at him before, so couldn’t say for certainty.

“You’re a good kid Tom, and you make Y/n very happy. Just pull yourself together when you ask her alright son? Didn’t think moviestars got stage fright.” And with that, your dad turned his back, heading toward the doorway that lead to the stairs to the bedrooms. Stunned, it took a moment or two before Tom processed - long enough that he had to leap up and call your dads name to get him to halt in the hallway.

“So is that a yes? You’re giving me permssion?”

“Oh Tom….” Your dad sighed in the lowlight of the hallway, in a more muted voice - now they were closer to the bedrooms where both you and your mum were sleeping peacefully. “ You already said, Y/n is strong and fiercely independent. I don’t control her, heck I don’t think she’s ever listened to me and never will. But…. for the record, I hope she says yes too and… I know she will.”

Scoffing in excitement, Tom combed a hand through his scalp, feeling such a wave of relief it was almost indescribable as your dad turned and trudged up the stairs. Once he heard the door of your parents bedroom close, he couldn’t help himself. He ran back into the kitchen, where he preceded to do an excited jumpy dance thing.

Because it meant a lot. To have your dads approval, to have your dads support. That meant the world. Not only for the sake of proposing but also, everything Tom said was true. He wanted to build a family with you - which meant that man was going to be the grandparents to your kids one day. That man had helped to craft you into the person you were today - his ‘person’. His perfect angelic, sweet woman.

Whenever he felt this excited, this happy, this elated - theres only one person he wants to be with. So, after turning all the lights off and checking the doors were locked (with a very obvious spring in his step) he then hopped up the stairs. Tiptoeing around, he got ready for bed in no time, before getting to the highlight of each evening.

Delicately he crawled into bed, sliding under the covers, so as to not disturb you. Naturally though, feeling the bed dip made you turnover- hooking your legs round his and resting your head on his chest. Tom chuckled quietly at your cuteness, stroking your cheek lightly with his thumb. It was enough to rouse you awake, enough to make you acutely aware of the thundering sound from his chest. With tired eyes, you propped your chin on his breastbone looking up at him with concern.

“You alright T? Hearts really racing.” He only replied with this loopy lovesick grin, his right hand coming to cup your cheek.

“Go back to sleep darling, I’m okay.” He did look okay, but he was almost too smiley and even with a foggy sleepy brain, you were still suspicious.

“Whats going on, you’re being weird?”

“Nothing…. your dad and me just had a chat… He called me son.” That shocked you too - clearly the conversation you’d had with him about being nicer to Tom had rubbed off.

“He did?”

“He did…. you are beautiful you know?” Now he was definitely being weird. You furrowed your eyebrows, as if trying to read his mind because something odd was going on in there.

“Now you’re just being creepy. What’s up?”

Tom just leant forward to kiss your forehead, then pulled you down onto his chest.

“I just love your family and I love you, you know that?”

“Are you trying to get into my pants? Because my parents are literally in the next room.”

“Oh shut up and kiss me.”

[oyesmendes]

San Francisco - N.H.

a/n: so i posted this earlier and the entire fic just disappeared 😔 but ya here you go!!!

The sky turned a dark shade of grey, clouds covering the sun that was once shining so brightly. Before you knew it, rain came pouring down, tapping wildly on your window pane as you sat by it with a mug of tea in your hand. Gloomy San Francisco weather as usual. You wrapped yourself further into your sweater, sipping slowly on the peppermint tea. He should be here. You should be wrapped in his arms, on the couch listening to Bruce Springsteen for the hundredth time. But he wasn’t. Your heart hurt at the thought of him, the thought of that night where it all came crashing down.

-

“What will it take for you to understand? this travelling thing, making music is my dream, Y/N. I just want you to be here for it all, and come with me on the journey. I’m not asking you to sacrifice your life” Niall tugged at the roots of his hair, frustrated that they were once again having this conversation.

“Except you are. You can’t just expect me to go travel the world with you, Ni. My whole life is in this city, I go to school here and I work in a cafe down the street for goodness sake! It’s not a drop and go thing!” Your voice cracked and so did your heart, when you realised that your dreams didn’t add up to Niall’s. You felt unimportant, not respected and he didn’t even realise it.

“The job at the cafe isn’t better than travelling the world? And you can do online school anyway, it’s simple.” He replied nonchalantly. It’s simple? You wanted to kill him. You shook the thought out of your head, folding your arms in front of your chest. Niall couldn’t understand why you didn’t want to go with him. Any girl would’ve killed to be spending months on the road, travelling the world with an international pop-star. But he forgot that you weren’t like the other girls, you were his girlfriend, his other half, his muse. Not the screaming fans filling stadiums and buying albums after albums. You started to grow tired, tired of making sacrifices and always being there for him whenever he was back in town. “It’s 2 worlds colliding, of course it’s going to be messy. Try to forgive him” you could hear your mother telling you, whenever you called her, frustrated about this whole topic once again. But this time, this was it. You felt the disrespect, you could see that he didn’t understand your normality and he didn’t want to work around it.

“This- Us, we aren’t going to work” you said softly. You saw his shoulders tense, and he whipped around to face you.

“What do you mean?” Niall knew what you meant, he just wanted to hear those words come out from your mouth.

“We should take a break, or even put a stop sign to this. I love you Niall, but we aren’t meant to be, at least for now.” you approached him, hands cupping his face softly. He reached for your wrists, wrapping his hand around them - for the last time, at least you hoped. His lips crashed into yours, and you returned the kiss. It felt passionate, the amount of love and pain could be felt with every move.  You did the cruel act of pulling away first, and both of you had tears streaming down your faces, lips burning scarlet red.

I want to kiss you like the first time, hold you like it’s not goodbye

You wiped the tears off his cheeks, and gave him one last peck on the lips - light, but loving. Niall was silent the hold time, his hands resting on your waist. he took your hand in his, thumb stroking small circles. You watched him moved slowly, pulling you into his chest, arms wrapping around your body. This was goodbye.

-

A knock on the door brought you back to reality. Who the heck could it be at this time, in this weather? You left your mug by the window sill, scrambling to answer the door. as you swung the door open, the sight in front of you made your heart stop just for a second. There stood Niall, soaking wet in his hoodie, hair matted to his forehead from the rain.

I might show up on your door step, soaking wet. Say I'm done running from the one that I want so bad

“What- Niall? What are you doing here?” You opened the door wider, allowing him to step inside. You quickly grabbed a towel, and rummaged through his drawer of clothes that you never touched since he left, to pull out another thick jumper and sweats. He still stood planted to the ground in your doorway, taking in the once familiar apartment.

“Here, dry yourself, I’ll make you a cuppa”

It was a while before Niall walked out of the bathroom, ruffling his hair dry with the towel. You set a mug of hot tea on the table, motioning for him to sit across you. When your eyes met his, you were reminded of it all - why you fell in love with him and why you let him go.

“Why are you here, Ni?”

“I miss you.” Niall reached out to hold your hand, and to your surprise, you let him hold it. He rubbed small circles with his thumb just like he did before.

“You know damn well we aren’t going to work” you sighed, “we’ve been through this before.”

-

Drunk dialling, full dive in. Don’t you tell me that it’s too late now

3 AM

Your phone buzzing non-stop on the table with Niall’s face flashing across the screen. It was the tenth time he was calling tonight and you knew he was drunk calling you, wanting to profess his love and apologise for the millionth time. This happened, every weekend when the boys would take him out for drinks. You wondered why they never bothered to stop him

“Fuck’s sake!” You threw the covers off your body, picking up your phone to answer the call

“Hello?” Niall’s voice slurred on the other end and you rolled your eyes. This was exactly what you expected after the breakup - he’d go down to a pub, have one too many beers and start calling you up to say he’s sorry.

“What is it, Niall?” You spat, being sleep deprived is not something you wanted, especially with a full day of work ahead in the morning. You heard a soft gasp, and could feel Niall scrambling his thoughts together.

“I-I miss you my love, I was so stupid to let you go and not fight for you. I want you, all of you no matter what happens. I want to work it out with you and marry you and spend the rest of my life loving you. Please let me do that, sweet.” He rambled for a bit, and you could hear him choke up on his words. You wondered if he was alone, if he could get back safe to his house. More importantly, you wondered where he was, wanting nothing but to be in his arms and tell him that he’s going to be alright. Although your heart hurt, you needed to stand your ground.  

“Ni, baby… I love you, I miss you too but I’ve said this again and again - you and me we were meant to be at some point, but after it all, we’re not meant to spend the rest of our lives together. I’m that girl from the coffee shop and you’re that rockstar on a stage. 2 different worlds that aren’t meant to collide with one another. And God, how I wish we could change this but I don’t want us to give up our dreams for each other. You don’t need me anchoring you to this city or to me, Niall. You need to be free.”

-

Take me back, take me back, to San Francisco

both of you sat in silence, your hand still in his, neither of you wanting to let go. What you guys had was so sweet, so rare. Niall was a better person with you by his side - he wrote songs after songs about you, both the good and the bad times. And every single moment he had spent with you, was the most precious moment in his life. But he was toxic for you. Your life came to a halt when he was around; you’d drop everything for the boy all the time, asking for nothing in return. He destroyed the wildness in you, and as much as he made you happy and so in love, you knew he was bad for you.  

“I don’t know what will make you take me back” he whispered, one hand wrapped around the mug of tea. You saw his grip on the mug tighten and you grabbed that hand into yours. It was a bad habit of his, to clench his fists or whatever that was in it. his head lifted so his eyes could meet yours. God damn, those ocean blue eyes.

“You’ve made my heart flutter, every single time without fail my love. But we aren’t meant to be. Your world and mine, when we crash we burn to the ground.” You paused, looking down at the lukewarm tea in front of you. This is it, end it now once and for all. “I love you, God I love you so much” you held your tears back, bringing his hand up to your lips.

“But we’re bad for each other, Ni. We hurt each other in ways we can’t see; and you won’t understand this now but I hope you do in the future. I will always love you, Ni. I will always be loving you even from afar.” This is it. Niall knew it, he’s tried way too many times and the way you stood your ground this time, he knew he had to leave you in San Francisco. It was the only right thing to do.

[antiquecompass]

Untamed Winter Fest Day One: Shiver

Wherein Wen Ning has some bad luck and then some good luck. 

(For those wondering who the heck Aidan is, he’s an OC from the LAHL ‘verse and when sleepingmao on twitter floated this pairing idea my way, it immediately took root and here we are now.)

Wen Ning took a deep breath and tried to calm his racing heart as he put his car into park. His hands were still shaking as he switched on his emergency lights. His sister was never going to let him hear the end of this once he called her. She had told him not to drive back to Lan Academy tonight, but the winter break was coming to an end, and he wanted to be home for a few days before diving back into teaching.

He’d lived in New England since he was five years old, but this was the first time he’d ever hit a patch of black ice and gone flying. It was sheer luck that he was able to swerve onto the grassy shoulder next to him rather than into the next lane. 

Of course, most people weren’t out on the road near Lenox at this time of night. 

That turned out to be both a blessing and a curse, when he tried to back up onto the road and heard his tires spinning without gaining any traction.

If Wen Ning was a cursing man, right now would be the time for it. Instead he turned off the car again, slipped out into the cold of the January night, and pulled out the flashlight he kept in the trunk to try and see the damage.

Of course, that’s when the small snow flurry from earlier decided to turn into an actual storm.

His sister was also going to yell at him for not having a proper winter coat or boots or gloves with him. 

He was digging through his trunk, desperate to find anything resembling gloves, when he saw headlights in his peripheral and a Ford Expedition pull up beside him.

“You need some help?” 

Wen Ning froze at that familiar, deep voice. Of all people to find him, like this, out here. Why did it have to be him. Aidan Delaney made him feel tongue-tied and foolish on a good day. And he had to see him right now? Like this? Out here? Really?

“Ning? Is that you?” 

Wen Ning cursed his bad luck as he stepped into the light coming from the Ford’s high beams.

“Hi, Aidan,” he said, resigned to his fate. “I hit some ice.”

“Where the hell is your coat?” Aidan asked. He immediately pulled off his own and wrapped it over Wen Ning’s arms. “And your gloves?”

“I didn’t foresee this happening,” Wen Ning said as he gestured to his car and the one patch of mud his tires had found on a mostly ice-frozen block of grass.

He tried not to be distracted by the spicy smell of Aidan's cologne coming from his coat. 

“No one ever does,” Aidan said with a sigh. “Come on,” he said, tugging Wen Ning towards his truck. “Get in and warm up. There’s hot chocolate there too. Help yourself.”

Aidan opened the door and stuck his head inside. “Hey, you three! Mind your manners! Mr. Wen’s going to sit with you for a bit.”

“Does he have his bow?”

That was Aisling, one of his star archers, and one of the best all-around students in her grade. She favored her privacy and spent a lot of time in the library. He was quite like her when he was younger.

“No--why would he--” Aidan shook his head. “Aisling, he doesn’t have his bow.”

He did, in fact, have his bow, but it didn’t seem like a good time to mention that.

“Can he help with this stupid history essay?”

Finn. Great fencer, great STEM student, lacking in the Liberal Arts.

“It’s not stupid, you are.”

Una. Dancer. The highest grades of them all.

“None of you are stupid and if you don’t watch it, I’ll turn this car right back around and take you all back to Ma’s. You want that?”

Silence from inside the truck.

“That’s what I thought,” Aidan said. His voice and face were kinder as he turned back to Wen Ning. “Up you go,” he said. 

Inside the truck was warm with blaring heat coming from the vents. It made Wen Ning’s fingers sting and tingle as feeling started to come back to them.

“You should drink the hot chocolate,” Aisling said. She pushed a pink, glittery travel mug at him. “We have two whole thermoses full.”

“Thank you, Miss Aisling,” he said.

She grinned at him they way she always did when he called her that. 

“Did you hit a ditch?” Finn asked.

“Duh, of course he did,” Una said.

“I hit a patch of ice,” he corrected her. “And then wound up in a ditch.”

“You’re okay though, right?” Aisling asked.

Wen Ning looked up from his mug to see three pairs of greenish-blue eyes staring at him in concern. 

“I’m fine,” he promised. He gave an exaggerated shiver. “Just a little cold.”

The Delaneys had come to the school last year. Their elder brother, Aidan, left his job working as a firefighter in Boston to work for the Lenox Central Fire and Emergency Department. All three of the kids were on scholarships and while it covered tuition and the like, it hadn’t covered room and board. So Aidan, determined to see his younger siblings achieve their academic dreams, had packed them all up, switched jobs, and moved them to the other side of the Commonwealth. 

It’s something Wen Qing had done for him, that sort of sacrifice for a younger sibling’s sake and future, and it had immediately endeared Aidan to him. Aidan never complained, always full of happiness and encouragement for his younger siblings. He was there for almost every fencing and archery match and dance recital, save the times when work called him away. He was active in their school community as well, and while Wen Ning knew some of his popularity came to how well Aidan filled out everything he wore, and those eyes, and that smile, it was more because he was a genuine and sincere person. He cared. He cared more than a lot of the parents and guardians who sent their students to Lan Academy. 

The door opened and Aidan smiled up at him, snow softly falling around him. Wen Ning forgot to breathe for a second.

“Good news or bad news first?” he asked.

“Good news,” he said. 

“Your car is out of the ditch,” Aidan said.

Wen Ning was confused. “And bad news?”

“The reason you were stuck is because one of your back tires hit something and it’s gone flat. So, get what you need, I’ll give you a ride home.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“You are not driving home in these conditions with that tire and it’ll take hours to get a tow out here in this weather. I would’ve changed the tire with your spare but someone doesn’t have one in their trunk.”

Wen Ning always knew that was going to come back to bite him.

“It’s on my to-do list,” he said.

“We’ll take care of it tomorrow,” Aidan said. “If you have the time.”

“I..” Wen Ning didn’t know what to say, except to accept. He really didn’t know much about car specs and tires. He hadn’t learned that when focused on and training for an Olympic dream. Aidan, on the other hand, came from a family of mechanics. It would be stupid to turn down his expert help. “Thank you,” he said. 

Aidan held his hand out. “Here, let me help you down.” 

Wen Ning wondered, had to wonder, if Aidan was this charming and nice to everyone. He assumed so even if part of him wished it was solely because of him. They’d had moments before, where Wen Ning had hoped there was more to the glances and the smiles. Swore he’d caught Aidan look at his form when he’d sat in on a few archery practices and had felt those eyes lingers on him. But Wen Ning had never been very good at the dating or the flirting or even the talking thing. 

He stumbled on the wet step board of the Expedition and would’ve hit the ground if Aidan hadn’t immediately reacted. He did hit the side of the truck hard, the breath whooshed out of him, with one of Aidan’s hands cradling the back of his head.

“Okay?” Aidan asked, once they both got over the shock. “You’re shaking.”

One of windows rolled down and three pre-teens stared out at them.

“So, can you two just kiss already?” Finn asked.

“We’re kind of hungry,” Una said.

“And you’re both going to get frostbite,” Aisling said. “This is why Mom told you to ask him out before winter break. Last year.”

Aidan closed his eyes and let out a heavy breath. “Jesus Christ,” he muttered. “You three--shut the fuck up and roll the damn window back up. You’re letting the heat out.”

“We’re not the ones flirting on the side of the--”

“Aisling Catherine Delaney.”

“Window’s going up now!”

Wen Ning couldn’t tell if the red tint on Aidan’s cheeks was just from the cold or a blush, but it made his eyes look even greener.

“So,” Aidan said drawing out the word. “That was fucking embarrassing.”

Wen Ning nodded. His feet were still off the ground. Aidan was still holding him up and apparently didn’t even notice. Wen Ning had kept mostly to his Olympic form since he did still compete in national competitions. He knew he wasn’t that light.

“Look--” Aidan said. “I curse like a sailor, I have horrible work hours, and I have to watch after those three ungrateful gremlins who are absolutely going to be eating boiled potatoes for dinner if they don’t close that window.”

The window went all the way back up.

“But I would really like to take you out for lunch or dinner or whatever--whatever you’d like--if you want.”

He did. He did very much want.

“Yes,” Wen Ning said. He cleared his throat and spoke louder. “I’d like that very much.”

“Okay,” Aidan said. He nodded. His eyes drifted to Wen Ning’s lips than back up to his face. “Okay.”

“Aidan?”

“Yeah?” he asked.

“You can kiss me if you want?”

“Fucking a, I do,” Aidan said.

It was a sweet kiss. Warm. And Wen Ning wished it could last longer, but the snow was coming down, his nose was starting to run, and they were on the side of the road.

They stopped as a passing trucker blew their horn at them.

“We should get you home,” Aidan said.

“You need to put me down first,” Wen Ning said. 

“Oh shit!” Aidan said as he lowered him to the ground. “I’m sorry. I just--”

“It’s okay,” Wen Ning said. He didn’t mind. At all. “It’s nice.”

“That’s--” Aidan laughed and stepped to the side. “I’ll remember that.”

**********

“You’re late.”

Wen Qing stared at him through the computer screen, one judgy eyebrow raised. 

“I texted,” he said as he settled down with a cup of warm tea.

“Yes, but you are very late,” she said.

“I’m fine,” he promised. “My car hit a patch of ice, wound up in a ditch, and I have a flat.”

“You had to wait for a tow?” she asked. “Because you never replaced the spare.”

“Yes and no,” he said. “Aidan found me.”

“Aidan,” she said. Her tone implying far too many things.

“Hot firefighter Aidan?” Qingyang asked, leaning over his sister’s shoulder. “Respect, Ning. He’s hot as hell.”

“I am right here,” his sister said, as she stared up at her girlfriend.

“Yeah but, he’s fine,” Qingyang said. “And nice.” She kissed the top of Qing’s head. “Don’t worry, he’s a good guy. An actual good one. Not an asshole.”

“He is,” Wen Ning promised. “And he asked me why I didn’t have a spare replacement tire, or decent winter gloves, or a coat.” He said, appealing to his sister’s sense of priorities.

She narrowed her eyes for a moment, then nodded. “Fine, he sounds like he has some common sense. I’ll allow it.”

“So generous of you,” Qingyang said. She waved at him. “So, did he ask you out?”

Wen Ning nodded, unable to stop the grin on his face.

“Aww, you’re all grown up and getting ready to tap some firefighter ass!” she said.

“Qingyang!” 

Wen Ning put his tea down as he openly laughed at his sister and soon-to-be-sister-in-law. He missed them horribly now that he was so far away, but he loved coaching and teaching, he truly did love his work at Lan Academy. And maybe, just maybe, he was really starting to find his own place--his own home. 

Maybe he could have that soon, what he saw on the other side of the screen.

Tomorrow was the start of something. He hoped, he prayed, it was something good. 

[hobbitsetal]

Tagged by @anonsensicalgirl, @thisbibliomaniac, @unsaddledlamb, and @trekkingthruhobbitholes; thanks, y’all :D

Rules: answer these questions then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

Nickname: Hobbs (or Ho, if you’re talking to @dangerously-human... ;) )

Zodiac: it’s a star

Height: 5’5″

Time: 7:18pm

Favorite band/artist: paper kites are really high up there, but american authors, billy joel, young the giant, john williams, imagine dragons, hans zimmer, onerepublic...i like music

Song stuck in my head: "top of the world”, imagine dragons

Last movie I saw: a rom-com with john krasinski, mandy moore, and robin williams, but i can’t think of the name

Last thing I googled: "top of the world”; couldn’t remember the artist...

Other blogs: @poetryforplebs with @identityconstellations

Do I get asks: once in a while

Why did I choose this username: because lord of the rings and all other fandoms. it’s a little pretentious, but i like the latin phrase “et al.” it’s just so pleasingly concise, and i’m not normally concise

Following: 470 (hi, i’m an extrovert)

Average amount of sleep: 7 hours. probably. 

Lucky number: my favorite number is 42

What am I wearing: green pants and a white sweater with “fairy godmother” on it

Dream job: published author and homeschooling mom

Dream Trip: UK, various historical sites around the US, Caribbean, New Zealand...i’d go a lot of places, y’all

Favourite Food: YES

Play any instruments: nah, too lazy. i can pick out tunes on the piano if i want and i can interpret sheet music given enough time, though

Eye colour: hazel/brown

Hair Colour: golden-ish

Describe yourself as aesthetic things: sunlight and blue skies, fuzzy blankets and crackling fires, a warm mug of tea and a soft voice, laughter, those twirly cup rides, soft music, baking on a rainy day, the sound of voices in the next room when you’re half asleep, full bookcases in the afternoon

Languages you speak: English

Most iconic song: heck if i know. i do love “make you feel my love” by adele

Random fact: I sing first soprano in choir, but i have a surprisingly good alto voice

(trying not to double-tag people, for the sake of shaking things up)

tagging @medicinemane, @madasthesea, @woppy42, @cinderclash, @goblin-overlord, @spillywolf, @wisegirlandseaweedbrainforever, @maikuria

[teamkaiforever]

WHITE CHRISTMAS

Kai Parker x Reader word count: 5 545 summary: It’s Christmas Eve, though Reader won’t get to spend it like she had expected. *gif by me _________________________________________

Spending Christmas Eve’s mid-morning at the Grill was the last place she expected to find herself, but with the cold outside and the snow piling up faster and faster with every second her old high school hang out had been more than inviting. Twinkling lights were hung everywhere, Christmas songs played in the background and the scent of cinnamon and anise filled the air. Her fingers wrapped around her hot cocoa mug and she took a sip. Christmas has always been her favourite time of the year – the snow, the cheer and decorations always could put her in the best mood, though this year she was a little on edge because she was hiding more than one secret. Not only from her parents but from her friends too.

A sigh left her lips and her gaze drifted towards the door where the bell just rang. There he was. One of her secrets, patting the snow off his black trench coat. He looked around and instantly headed in her direction, his eyes sparkling just like every time they were together. Y/N liked him more than she would even care to voice out, but things were beyond complicated for her. And got even more complicated the second their eyes met and her heart did an Olympics golden medal worth flip just like that very first time they had met at the Salvatore library when he had gone to help them get Bonnie out of 1994. Y/N hadn’t known who he was, being out of town for a couple of months… and by the time she had known who he was and what he had done – it had been too late. It had been too late the second their eyes had met.

     “Hey there beautiful.” he sat opposite her, smiling at her. “How are you on this fine winter day? Did Jack Frost nibble on your nose? Look at those rosy cheeks.” he reached across the table, lightly pinching her cheeks. “So cute.”

Y/N pushed his hand away, trying hard not to smile and to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat at his touch. “Freezing and riding a sugar high from too much hot cocoa. What about you?”

     “Good, good.” he muttered to himself. “I’m good. Having minor 1903 flashbacks, but other than that – all good. Hey, have you seen Bonnie?”

    “No.” she took a sip from her cocoa, finishing her glass. “And even if I did, I wouldn’t tell you. You know she doesn’t want to see you –”

    “I know, but I –” he sighed. “I need to apologize. That guilt keeps me up at night and I can’t think about anything else but how what I said, what I did must’ve hurt her. Specially after what I did at the wedding… and you, my little beautiful sparkling snowflake, are going to help me.”

Y/N folded her hands on her chest and sat back. “And why is that?”

     “You are her best friend.” he leaned towards her. “Surely you can get her to soften up a bit towards me –”

     “I know you have a thing for her and want to date her but –”

     “I don’t.”

     “—me talking to her is not going to do a thing –wait what?”

     “I don’t want to date her.” stated Kai, motioning for a waitress to come over. “Two servings with curly fries and two cups with hot cocoa for my girl and me. With tiny marshmallows and sprinkled cinnamon on top, please.” he smiled at the waitress. “I used to want that. You know, back in 1994… when after 18 years she was the first female I got to see. I mean, I’m not made of stone.”

     “Then why do you want her to forgive you so badly? You already tried… and it backfired, if I recall.” Y/N wondered, nervously running her fingers through her hair. “She said she’d melt your face off if she sees you again… and I personally like your face just the way it is.”

Kai grinned at her. “You do?” he got up and sat next to her. “That is awesome. I mean –” he put his hand around her shoulders and leaned towards her. “Because I kind of like your face too.”

Y/N glanced at him, grabbed his hand and slipped from the other end of the seat. “Oh-kay… I’m gonna go cuz this is really really weird.”

     “Y/N –” he grabbed her wrist when she reached for her bag and jacket. “—sit down.”

     “No.” she tried to yank her wrist back, only to get pulled back on the seat next to him. “Malachai Parker –”

     “I love how you say my full name.” he smiled at her and tapped her nose. “Sounds beautiful when you do. Not at all evil, more like something you really really love.”

Y/N glanced at his hand on her wrist and then at him but before she had had time to say a thing, the waitress came back with the curly fries he had ordered. Her thoughts kept spinning in all directions while she tried to figure out what the heck was happening but the second her eyes met with his, whatever concentration she had started slipping away. Having feelings for your best friends’ biggest enemy was enough for her to start drowning mentally and to break her heart. What was even worse was knowing nothing could happen between them, even if by some miracle he felt the same away about her, because her friends simply wouldn’t allow it for ‘her own safety’. They were already on edge knowing Kai was her sort-of-friend, Y/N couldn’t even begin to imagine what they’d do if they figured out she wanted them to be more than friends.  But there was also something else holding her back --

     “Thank you.” Kai smiled at the waitress, got a couple of fries and turned towards Y/N, passing her a hot cocoa mug. “For you, just how you like it. And to answer your question – I need her forgiveness because other ways what I want will cause so much trouble for someone really important to me.”

     “Did you get a dog or something?”

     “No. I didn’t get a dog…” he said a little amused, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “You know, your heart beats so much faster when we are standing this close to each other… and even faster just now.” He added, his lips almost touching her earlobe as he spoke. Y/N slipped from his grasp and sat on the opposite end, grabbing her fries.  “Oh, come on Y/N. You know why I want her to forgive me. I like you. How much more obvious can I make it?”

     “You… like me?” she blinked fast a few times, snatching a couple curly fries. “Every time we see each other all you do is talk about Bonnie.”

     “Yeah, well…If I kiss you or do one of the million things I wanted to do to you the past few minutes… I’d get killed and what would be the point of me liking you and you acting like you don’t like me for your best friend’s sake?” he took a couple of fries. “You are a good friend, Y/N. Loyal, brave… I wish you doing the right thing wasn’t rubbing off on me.”

     “I don’t.... like you.” she glanced at something behind him and raised her hand to wave at someone. “Thanks for the fries. I owe you a lunch date sometime.”

Kai studied her face for a moment and turned around to see what she was looking at. Just walking through the door and heading towards them was one of her friends. “Hey Steven. You got the worst timing, has anyone ever told you that?”

Stefan put his hands on his waist and glanced between them with a slight smirk on his face. “Ready to go Y/N?”

     “Yeah. Let me just grab these to go –”

     “Go? Go where?” wondered Kai confused. “Snow is piling up like crazy outside. You can barely see a thing. Now’s not the time for you to go ice skating –”

     “I know, but it’s Christmas Eve. My parents are coming for a visit. And they want to meet my boyfriend.” Y/N said, glancing at Stefan for a second before her gaze drifted towards Kai again. “You are welcome to stop by, if you want. It’s Christmas after all…”

     “B-boyfriend?!” Kai wondered, watching Stefan and Y/N make googly eyes at each other almost as if he hadn’t heard her invitation at all. “W-when did that happen? I thought he was with Candice–” Y/N and Stefan glanced at each other and tried hard to suppress a laugh, only to to start laughing a few seconds later while Kai looked at them more confused than ever. “What – what is so funny?”

Y/N took a step towards him and lightly brushed her palm against his cheek, playing with his scruff for a moment before leaning in to kiss his cheek. “I love watching you get all confused.” She tapped his nose. “Stefan’s not my boyfriend but since I never told my parents I broke up with my actual boyfriend about… eleven months ago, Stefan agreed to pretend to be hi –”

     “I’ll do it.” Kai interrupted, watching Y/N’s eyes widen and Stefan’s eyes widen even more. “What?” he glanced between them, getting up. “Y/N said I could stop by, if I want and I wouldn’t miss Christmas Eve dinner for the world. I’ll be there anyways. Plus, I bet Clarisse wouldn’t be thrilled to have her boyfriend make googly eyes at you… and you two just look terrible together. We –” he wound his arms around Y/N’s waist and twirled her around for a moment before letting her feet back on the ground. “—look like we belong together.”

Stefan took a step towards them, pushed Y/N behind himself and had a small starring contest with Kai. “Nice try but –”

     “I’m okay with it.” Y/N said quietly, watching Stefan turn around wide eyed towards her while Kai grinned. “You and Caroline wanted to spend the holidays together and I already felt bad about separating you.”

     “Y/N, Kai is a psychopath. You can’t expect him to behave after everything he has done.” said her friend. “Plus if I remember correctly, your father is the most over protective person on the planet. Not to mention he barely approved of you having a boy as a friend. What would he think about Kai –”

     “And yet, he is still ten times the man my x-boyfriend was.” she muttered to herself, lightly running her fingers through her hair. “Kai will behave.” she smiled innocently, her gaze focused on Kai who mouthed ‘I will.’ and nodded enthusiastically. “Trust me.”

     “What if –”

     “Don’t worry..” Y/N smiled at her friend reassuringly. “He is nice now, remember?”

SIX HOURS LATER

Y/N glanced out the window, watching the snowflakes swirl together making their way to the ground in groups. It had barely been a few hours and she could swear there were 20 extra inches snow piled up outside. Frost covered the corners of the window creating curious patterns; fire crackled in the fireplace while the Christmas tree lights twinkled same as she hummed ‘Let it snow’. It was starting to get a little scary outside and she wondered if her parents will even be able to get to Mystic Falls in that weather. A sigh left her lips as she briefly looked at the clock then at her phone to check for missed calls or text messages. Nothing. A couple of beeps interrupted her thoughts when the kitchen timer ticked the last minute for the cookies baking in the oven. Y/N bent over to get the tray with freshly baked cookies out and almost dropped it all on the ground feeling someone poke her in the stomach. She glanced at Kai, who was standing next to her, leaning against the counter with his hands folded on his chest, a tucked in white shirt and black tie.

      “Damn it.” she muttered, feeling one of the mittens slip off her hand causing her to burn her fingers on the heated surface. “Are you going to stand there or are you going to help?”

Kai laughed under his breath and pushed her out of the way, taking the tray out of the oven. He let it on the counter, closed the oven and took her hand in his. Y/N flinched for a second when his fingertips touched the burnt place, their eyes meeting in an instant and she couldn’t help but notice now his eyes sparkled like she had never seen them before. Almost twinkling like the lights all around them and her heart skipped a beat. He brought her hand on his lips, placing a soft kiss on the burnt place. “There… all better.”

Y/N rolled her eyes, trying to suppress a smile feeling the burn disappear. “What are we? Five?”

     “One of us is.” He winked at her. “Gingerbread snowman, bear and reindeer shaped cookies?” he reached towards the tray but she slapped his hand away before reaching towards the frosting. “You really love Christmas, don’t you? Let me guess – tomorrow morning you will run down the stairs towards to see what Santa has left you under the tree? You know, you might find me there, wrapped up with a bow on top of my head… or just with a bow.”

Y/N’s lips curled into a small smile.  “No.” she lied watching him raise his eyebrows. “Okay, yes. Don’t laugh.” she warned seeing how he was about to do just that. “I know. I should’ve stopped believing in Santa a long time ago, but vampires are real. Werewolves and witches… Why can’t Santa be real too?”

     “Such a child.” He teased, shaking his head with a smile on his face.

     “Let me guess – you stopped believing in Santa and you think it’s stupid.”

      “I never said that.” Grinned Kai, poking her in the stomach. “You can believe in whatever you want. I um, I actually kind of like that side of you. So innocent and perhaps a little naive with such a good kind heart. Too good for your own good sometimes, but I love it…” He watched her cheeks flush as she looked shyly at the ground. “So… why am I really here? What happened with what’s his name?”

     “Nothing that can ever be fixed.” She muttered, her gaze drifting towards Kai’s blue/grey eyes. “And yes, I do love Christmas. More than my birthday, actually.” she slapped his hand away again when he reached for another cookie. “Hands off the cookies. At least until I get the frosting on top. Mother always says her cookies decorated than mine, that they taste better than mine. And this year I’m gonna prove her wrong.” Y/N glanced out of the window and sighed. “Assuming the snow slows down and doesn’t get even worse… I love White Christmases but – Hey!” she exclaimed watching him snatch a cookie.

     “What?” he took a bite, “OH God, those taste almost as amazing as you look with that Christmas sweater.” he reached towards her and squeezed the reindeer’s nose. “Cute.”

     “Would you stop?!” she slapped his hands away. “My parents will be here any moment now and you have no idea how strict they are. Everything I do has always been… how do I say it? Watched through a microscope and t-tonight is really really important and –” she almost groaned in frustration watching Kai nod as if he was paying attention when in reality she could almost feel him drift away. A snap of her fingers later, however, she had all of his attention. “Are you even listening to me?!”

     “I always am listening to you.” He gently rubbed her shoulder. “I was just thinking we can go build a snowman later. You know, after your parents leave and you relax a bit. You are so tense –”

Y/N sighed, lightly balling her hands into firsts to keep herself from raising her voice. “They are expecting to find this prince charming guy I described. Not someone who goofs up all the time–”

     “Hey, I am charming.” pointed out Kai, reaching behind her to take another cookie. For a long moment he had her pinned against the counter, their eyes piercing into each other and their lips almost touching. “More than charming actually according to your diary. Can’t believe you referred to me as a ‘panty dropper’ when your panties are clearly still on. I must be doing something wrong…”

Y/N’s eyes widened. “You went through my diary?! That evening will end up with us breaking up.”

     “Ouch.” he took a step back, raising his hands in defence. “We have been dating for five hours, haven’t even kissed yet and you already want to break my heart. Maybe I should keep that present I got you for myself.”

     “Y-you got me a present?” her lips twitched into a smile. “I um… I didn’t get you a thing, mostly cuz I didn’t think we’d –”

Kai wound his arms around her waist, pulling her towards him. “—be spending the holidays in each other’s arms? You give me everything just with breathing, smiling and looking at me with those gorgeous eyes. You are the best gift I can ever get.”

     “Kai –”

     “We are alone. Stop pretending.” he held her tighter towards him. “We both know you like me too.”

Her hands hovered over his chest for a moment and she involuntarily bit her lip. “Even if I did, we can’t happen.”

     “Says who?” he leaned towards her. “Your friends or your heart? Cuz I might suck at this whole emotion thing, but I know your heart is beating that fast and doing all those weird flips because of me. I can almost hear it saying ‘Pull me closer Kai. Kiss me. Don’t ever let me go.’”

Y/N rolled her eyes for a second, trying to suppress a smile. “So full of yourself.”

     “And your cheeks are rosy but it has nothing to do with the fact it’s so hot inside, though it’s getting hotter with every second you are in my arms.”

Her eyes closed and she pushed him off her only to have him pull her back towards him so suddenly her chest bumped into his. His lips collided with hers  in a passionate kiss  before she had had time to even blink and she melted into his arms. It almost felt as if their lips were made for each other, like they were made for each other. His hands moved up her body, holding her towards him while hers hooked around his neck, pulling his lips towards hers. It was like the whole world had just come into focus the second their lips had touched and nothing else mattered but his lips on hers, his hands on her body and the way every cell in her body screamed for him to hold her tighter. Her heart raced faster than ever, almost as if trying to leap out of her chest and the second he pulled away from her, it felt as if the whole world was ending. He rested his forehead on hers, gazing longingly in her eyes when the power went off, the light coming from the kitchen window the only light filling in the room.

Kai glanced around, laughing under his breath. “I didn’t see that one coming.”

     “You kissed me.” she said quietly. “Y-you can’t do that.”

Kai brushed his palm against her cheek, gently tilting her chin up until she looked at the ceiling where mistletoe was growing out of nowhere; sparks flying around it like small flurries. “Mistletoe. It’s tradition.”

     “Cheater.” she pushed him away, taking a few steps away from him while grabbing her phone from the counter. “I um… I have to find the candles.” 

 Her fingers ran through her hair as she looked around and spun on her heels, heading out the room all the while trying to ignore the way a couple thousand butterflies flapped their wings in her stomach in that moment. How hadn’t she realised how having alone time with Kai would make her feel? How he’d end up doing just that –     Damn it. she thought, opening the storeroom door. Her flashlight shone all around and she lightly lifted herself on her toes as she checked the upper shelves for candles. There they are, she smiled to herself deciding to risk it and step on the lower shelf to lift herself up enough to reach them. Her fingers barely reached a candle, slowly wrapping around it –

     “You know, I am taller than you. You should’ve just asked –” Kai started when Y/N lost her balance, falling into his arms. “Hi. We have to stop meeting like this. Remember when we first met at the Salvatore library? And then at the clock tower when you tried to...” he swallowed hard. “I told you – I’ll always be there to catch you when you fall.”

Kai let her feet on the ground, lightly flicking his wrist until a couple of candles landed on the small table nearby. His lips curled into a smile and he completely ignored the slightly annoyed look Y/N was gave him. It had been a look she had mastered and mostly used every time her friends were around in an attempt to hide the real way she felt towards him. Her gaze drifted around the room before finally their eyes met again, her expression completely different. There was warmth in her eyes, more warmth than the flames in the fireplace radiated. Same warmth that had started to warm up his heart the second their eyes had met all those months ago, even if he hadn’t realised what was happening back then, this had been the exact moment he had fallen for her.

Y/N glanced at the clock. It was already almost 9PM. “Will you, um… will you help me set the candles in the dining room?”

     “Of course.” He smiled. “Anything for my girl but first –” he pulled her towards him. “You owe me a kiss.” Y/N looked at him confused, glancing up a moment later to find mistletoe growing out of thin air right over their heads but before she had had time to protest, his lips met with hers again. Only this time it felt as if her heart was about to burst. Warmth spread through her body, her fingers running through his hair for a long moment before she pushed him away. “Are you going to deny it now too?”

     “W-what?” she cleared her throat, grabbing a couple of the candles.  “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

Kai laughed under his breath, taking the rest of the candles and followed her into the dining room. “Whatever you say, sweet cheeks. Though your kiss already gave you away. I have to say, I love how you tangled your fingers in my hair and the way you pulled yourself closer to me. Just –” he pursued his lips for a moment. “Hhmmm –” 

Y/N let the candles on the table, closed her eyes and took a deep breath before turning towards him. How it was possible that he kept stealing her breath away, that he kept her heart prisoner? Even if she wanted not to feel a thing for him it just wasn’t possible because one look at him and she was lost. Not to mention that lip thing he did – it was almost like a trigger and without realising, she lightly bit her lip getting lost in a daydream like she had many times before. How she grabbed him by the tie, pushed him on one of the chairs, sat on his lap, hooked her arms around his neck; kissing him until neither of them could breathe –

    “Y/N?” he waved his hand before her eyes. “Earth to Y/N –”

    “What?” she wondered, looking at his amused expression. “Sorry I –”

    “Awwh, where you day dreaming about kissing me?” he took a step towards her. “That would explain why you had that look in your eyes. You know, if you want me to kiss you again, just say so. I’d be more than happy to make your dreams come true –”

   “Shut up.” she said trying to suppress a smile, watching him laugh under his breath. “Now do you mind hurrying it up a little before my parents –” she started when her phone rang from the other end of the table. Quickly she reached for it and looked at the screen – caller ID saying MOM. Her finger swiped across the screen in a few seconds and she couldn’t help but smile hearing her mother’s voice from the other end of the line. “Mom! Hey, where are you guys? Are you close—oh. No, no. I get it.” she blinked fast a couple of times avoiding Kai who kept trying to meet her gaze. “Yeah… Merry Christmas to you too. Love you.”

A sigh left her lips and she glanced around, putting her hand on her forehead for a moment. A weight lifted itself off her chest at the same another one, much heavier replaced it. She took a deep breath and headed towards the door, stepping outside in the cold air with Kai at her tail.

     “What is it? Are you okay?” he asked worried. “I didn’t mean to –”

     “N-no. It’s not y-you. I um –” she hugged her body, lightly rubbing her forearms with her palms to warm up. “My parents… They um… their flight got rerouted because of the snow storm and t-they –”

Kai wrapped his arms around her, gently rubbing circles on her back. A tear rolled down her cheek but she quickly wiped away only to have another one following down the same path. He didn’t have to ask why she was crying. Even though her relationship with her parents wasn’t the best, spending her favourite holiday away from them hurt. “Don’t you worry, sweet cheeks. You will still have a magical Christmas –”

     “Don’t do that.”

     “Do what?”

     “Pretend to care.” she pulled away, turning her back to him. “I know you don’t really c-care. I am just a distraction. Just like always…” she muttered to herself. “Y-you can go home. I don’t need yo–”

     “But you do need me.” he wrapped his arms around her from behind, slowly turning her around until she faced him. He wiped a tear away from her cheek while flurries of snowflakes danced around them. “What? You didn’t really think I’d let you spend your favourite holiday alone? In the dark… or that I’d let you eat all that food by yourself? Not a chance.” he smiled hearing her sigh in relief quietly. Y/N nodded slightly while his hand slid to her lower back. “Let’s go in before you freeze. I’ll make sure this is the best Christmas you have ever had. I promise.” They took a few steps inside and Kai flicked his wrist, closing the door shut behind them. “You go sit by the fireplace. I’ll go get you some hot cocoa. A special secret recipe. You will love it.” Kai headed towards the kitchen when she called out after him, reminding him there was no electricity but he only winked at her.

Y/N brought up her knees to her chest, her gaze focused on the dancing flames in the fireplace while she listened to the crackling sounds. That was going to be her first Christmas away from her family. Every year, no matter where she was or if her parents had to travel out of the country for work, they’d always find a way to be together for the holidays. And even though sometimes they made her feel like she wasn’t good enough, she wouldn’t trade them or give them up for anything in the world.

     “There you go.” Smiled Kai, handing her a cup with hot cocoa only then realising he was humming some song. “Cutest tiny marshmallows… shaped like tiny snowmen.”

     “Thanks.” She glanced in the glass, realising he had used magic to reshape the marshmallows. Her fingers wrapped around the ceramic while she watched him clean up the space between the couch and the fireplace with magic. “I didn’t know you like Jingle Bells.”

Kai grinned at her. “What can I say, your obsession with Christmas is rubbing off on me.”  Y/N smiled watching him move a few steps behind her, placing his hand on her shoulders. “Now, if I could only find a way to relive that tension of yours. It’s been driving me insane…”

     “Kai –” She titled her neck slowly from side to side while he rubbed her shoulders.  

     “Shhh – no talking.” he whispered, his lips almost touching her earlobe as he spoke. “You just relax, drink your cocoa and –”

     “I can’t relax, okay.” she got up suddenly and turned towards him. “Look, Kai… I appreciate you being here and being willing to pretend to be my boyfriend for my parents’ sake, but you and I – “ she took a step back while he took a step towards her, as if they were magnets. “—we can’t happen.”

     “You like me.” he took another step, backing her against the wall by the fireplace. “I see the way you are looking at me.” Kai brushed his fingers against her cheek. “I hear how your heartbeat changes when I am around, how it jumps up when I look at you and even more when you are in my arms. How you literally melt under my touch. The way you just closed your eyes… Why …why is it so hard for you to – to admit it?”

     “Kai, I … It’s complicated, for more reasons than I can list.” she gripped his wrist but he quickly put it in reverse. “Please don’t – don’t push… Not tonight.”

     “Oh-kay..” he said quietly, scooping her into his arms. “But I will not give up until you admit it, even if it takes decades.. or centuries. I’ll wait for you.”

     “Don’t make me kick you out in the cold.” she tried hard not to smile.

Kai brushed his nose against hers and sat on the carpet by the fireplace with her. A flick of his wrist later a blanket landed on his lap and the couch moved a little closer so they could rest their backs against it. He spread the blanket, making sure she was warm and put his arm around her shoulder, leaning in to whisper in her ear. “So mean. You are definitely on my naughty list.”

Y/N reached behind one of the pillows and pulled out a medium sized square box with a light blue bow. “Am I still on the naughty list if I got you a present?”

     “Awwh you got me a present?” he smiled, taking the box from her hands. “I thought you said you didn’t get me anything. What is it?”

     “Open it and you’ll find out.”

     “Later.” he tapped her nose before putting his arm around her shoulder. “I’d much rather watch you open your present first tomorrow morning.” he leaned in, whispering in her ear. “And you are always on my naughty list.”

For a while they sat on the floor, cuddled together just listening to the crackling sounds of the fire and watching the snowflakes out the window. A part of him expected her to push him away, especially after she had told him she doesn’t want to be with him… even though he knew it had been a lie. Instead she snuggled closer to him and he couldn’t help but feel a little guilty about what he had done earlier. Reading her journal had been an accident – he had gone upstairs to leave her gift in her bedroom and had found it open on her bed. Temptation had won over and he had taken a peek at the page before he had heard her call out for him downstairs. He knew she was fighting the way she felt towards him because of what her friends would do to try and separate them… but something told him that wasn’t the only reason why she didn’t want to open up and admit she felt something towards him.

Kai brushed his palm against her cheek, gently tucking in a strand of hair behind her ear. Y/N turned towards him, taking in a shallow breath and his lips curled into a small smile noticing the sudden change in her heart beat, even more so the closer his lips got to hers until they met in a gentle kiss. Only this time it somehow felt different than all the other times they had kissed that night. Their lips moved a little more demanding against each other as the kiss deepened until she pulled him closer and then awkwardly pulled away.

     “You have a really funny way of ‘not pushing’.” she muttered, gazing into his eyes for a moment before looking up to see mistletoe hanging in the air right above them. 

Kai looked at her with innocent eyes and smiled at her. “You didn’t say a thing about mistletoe kisses.”

     “Cheat –” his lips pressed against hers again, cutting her off mid-sentence.

He rested his forehead on hers when the clock struck midnight. “Merry Christmas.” _________________________________________  MASTERLIST - SMUT MASTERLIST - FLUFF

[betterreadthandeadbookclub]

Review of After You by Jojo Moyes

Spoilers ahead! Enter at you’re own risk. This review can also be found on our website! Here’s the link to the page!

Addie’s Take:

 First of all, I still feel very ‘eh’ about this book. To quote the great Geneva herself when talking about the new Beauty and the Beast movie “It was the definition of adequate”. I had a lot of issues with the large plot points of this book. After loving Me Before You, I was left with the hope that Louisa was going to be okay after Will, that she was going to live well and boldly. She was going to travel, yes she was going to grieve, but she would have the memories and know that Will was satisfied with his decision.

Lou really disappointed me.

 Not in how long she grieved or was depressed, because do you really get over something like that? Or does it just become a part of who you are and you live on despite it? Lou was working at an airport bar, hating her job, boss, and uniform. I can just see Will cringing. He’d be saying something like “Are you fucking kidding me, Clark? I literally told you, you only get one life and it’s your duty to live it as fully as possible."

This Lou feels so different to me. She's lost her large personality, and I'm not sure if that's her grief or just poor writing. Lou was always the girl with a clever comeback and had absolutely no filter. Now it feels like she barely cracks a joke. The whole book was spent with Lou wallowing in self pity and guilt. I kept asking myself "Where the hell is this going?"

   I felt the events in this book were so unnatural and improbable. It came across forced, like drama just for the sake of drama. What are the chances that she falls off a roof, through an awning, and lands on a fucking daybed? AND LIVES? And if that wasn't enough suddenly Will's long lost kid shows up who no one ever knew about. THEN when Lou finally finds a new guy, her paramedic no less, HE GETS SHOT. Honestly this felt more like fan fiction and not work that we know Jojo is capable. 

Back to the random kid.

 Lily is inconsequential to the story, she just brings in the Will aspect for readers. Without her, Lou still would have fallen, survived, gone to her therapy group, met Sam the paramedic, and STILL would have gone to New York without him.

  I felt like this book was really unnecessary, it doesn’t add anything to the original story. On top of that, Jojo recently announced she’s writing a third book, because ‘I’ve always seen it as a trilogy’.JAYSUS. If a second book wasn’t necessary, what the hell is going to happen in this third book?

         Lou gets shot in NY? Hit by a taxi? Gets her green card revoked by a new Executive Order travel ban? Will has another kid no one knows about? Sam dies in a plane crash visiting her? Somehow Lou survives another improbable situation? Because doesn’t SOMETHING have to happen? Otherwise we’d just be reading about Lou changing bed pans and making tea in New York for her new employers. Because there’s a crying need to publish that, I’m sure *eye roll*.

     Ok so this is pretty harsh, but despite that I didn’t entirely hate it. Without comparing the two stories, it’s okay, it just doesn’t compare to Me Before You… like at all.

         Part of my dislike might be that Will simply wasn’t a part of it. It was really hard for me to grasp that this isn’t Will’s story. It also isn’t Lou’s and Will’s story. It’s Lou’s story, and I had a hard time accepting this.

         Let’s be honest, when Jojo publishes the third book, I’ll read it. Because it’s Jojo. But will I enjoy it? Not likely. The only possible way this story was ever meant to be a trilogy was if Jojo stretched out Will’s death until the third book. Then we could get more witty banter, more detail of the short time Lou spent with Will. Maybe then I would actually enjoy all three.

         With the first book, I loved it: I cried, I worshiped it. That’s not the case here, and if I have to think of the journey ending with Me Before You just to sleep at night, I will. I had hope then, I was happy then.

If this feels like a rant, sorry.

BUT! There were a few good things that came out of this reading experience. Louisa’s dad said “Jaysus” at one point in response to climbing too many stairs and it has now become Geneva’s and my own favorite saying and reply during texts. Also- back, crack, and sack- I just can’t. I actually burst out laughing when Lou’s dad said that.

         Anyway… If you loved Me Before You, and read it mainly for Will (like I did), I wouldn’t recommend this sequel. If you weren’t satisfied where the previous book was left, and you want more of Lou after Will, then this is the book for you. Bear in mind- you might not like how she spends her life after him.

Geneva’s Take:

I had high hopes for this book, and I am not going to be as harsh as Addie , but I will be honest and say this book is definitely one I wish I skipped. It has its moments, but they were sparse. Overall, I was underwhelmed and slightly annoyed, but I don’t think all readers will feel this way. For instance, if you had experienced a death close to you, maybe you would relate more and appreciate the 75% of the book that was a wallow fest straight from Gilmore Girls.

 Also, if you are super into the feminist movement, 10% of this book is for you! Go get it girl! Mothers with bratty teenage girls, you get a spot on the team as well-20% (Why you would be reading a young adult novel is another issue). Anyone with a medical personnel fetish, you’re in- 2%. I am attempting to give this book a break, but WHAT WERE YOU THINKING JOJO!

 For anyone that read the first book, it is clear that it ended on a positive note, with Lou in Paris ready to follow in Will’s footsteps and get out of her small town bubble. This however came to a crashing halt as readers stepped into Lou’s current world in After You. Honestly, it was a large amount of complaining, majority being self deprecation, dash of relationship, sprinkle of a bastard child, hint of bad parenting, and finish it off with the cherry of almost fatal gunshot wounds.

As you can see, this novel is everywhere and nowhere that the audience wanted it to be. I looked at the comments that literary critics gave the book on the back cover (they only put the good ones obviously), and I found a striking number of ones that said it was unexpected. I can appreciate that because it was definitely unexpected, but it wasn’t followed through as well as I hoped. Reminded me of an off brand Fault in Our Stars without the cancer (there are an overwhelming amount of similarities actually).

 I mean look at any one of the Bridget Jones books/movies. British. Out of relationship. Lonely. Staying in crappy flat. Not supportive mother. Nice dad. But what is After You missing? A strong influence of Colin Firth-like character (strong, bold) and WITTINESS. Lou lost her character. Her appeal, and unfortunately the book suffered because of it.

I’d like to think I am an average reader that doesn’t take much to be pleased. Little romance, little humor, and an actual plot and I’m ready to go. Though, this seriously felt like they were trying to get more money from their viewership and readers. The book didn’t add a whole heck of a lot to the original story line either. Who knows? Maybe I just had unrealistic expectations like she would be traveling all over, meet some friends (did anyone notice she has none?), find a guy, perhaps get a dog…?

         I can see a third book as well as Addie. After I finished this novel, I called her and said that Moyes will certainly end up breaking up Lou’s relationship, Nathan may come on to her making her quit her job and work at a gas station, she may get mugged, insert bad view of America on top of it. It’s all rather bleak. But hey, no where to go but up I suppose!

         All I know is that I wasn’t impressed, and I guess not a big enough fan to stay with Lou through the thick of it (I did for you guys, you’re welcome) and enjoy it.

Better Read than Dead, Addie & Geneva 

Have you read After You? Let us know what you thought! Join the conversation on our website forum. It’s super interactive and you can talk to us about books we’ve read or books you think we should read!

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[forged-through-trials]

Oh. Lovely. I’m being mugged again! You know, because if this day didn’t start in the toilet, it sure as heck is ending in it! I’m still pulling an arrow out of my arm for Hist’s sake! I’m done! I am one-hundred percent done with today!

I poke this jerk with my sword a few times until I finally got scared and ran away. Great, I wasn’t even mugged by a competent highwayman. I got mugged by a bigger loser than myself!

I needed to clear my head, after that. So rather than going straight into Skingrad, I took a stroll around the city, looking over the sunset-gilded countryside. I came upon this big, strange, glowing stone, covered in runes which I couldn’t make heads nor tails of. They were glowing, though, and that was definitely a good sign, right? I tried touching it. It was warm and strumming to the touch, and--

--GAH! It feels like someone just stabbed me in the head with an icicle! With one eye shut, the chill in my brain seemed to form into words. Doom Stone: “Marked by a special fate, you rule your destiny.”

Trials: “Gaaaaah, can I have a different destiny than having ice in my skull?” Doom Stone: “Do you choose to steer by the stars of the Apprentice?”

Trials: “Aaaaaahh, yes! YES! Just knock it off with the brain-freeze!”

Finally the chill dissipated, and my head cleared up. I did, however, feel strangely... good, afterward. Like I’d acquired some strange new power.

That was more than enough scenery for one night, so I returned to Skingrad at long, long last, and immediately saw Sinderion, passing along the Training Recommendation I received from Ardaline.

Sinderion: “Training? Oh, I’m afraid that’s not my area of expertise. I’m very focused on wines right now, you see. Wonderful thing, wine. It’s all about the balance, the flavor, the bouquet, the consistency... just wonderful.”

Trials: “You know, when you talk about wine like that, it sounds classy. But if I were to talk about mead like that, people would just think I’m an alcoholic.”

Sinderion: “Well, it sounds like you’re not a wine-person, anyway, so why don’t you give me your wine? Bring me both a bottle of Tamika 399, and Surilie Brothers 399, and I’ll agree to train you.” Trials: “399? Is that the year, the proof, or the price?” Sinderion: “...yes!”

Thankfully, I had both bottles! I stole confiscated them from Zarov’s manor a while earlier. While, technically, those bottles are evidence in an on-going investigation, it won’t mean anything unless I can defeat the Baron, so I passed the bottles to Sinderion, and he agreed to train me in alchemy.

Hooray!

[high5nerd]

Alone Together--Chap. Thirty

Sadie and I were very discreet with our planning for the following week, as well as Sadie putting in time for her own enjoyment of being a spirit. I couldn't stop her, but from what it seems, she was having a blast just by flying around or casually floating by in whatever silly pose she felt like doing. It was both amusing and...worrisome.

What if she chose the life of a spirit? Where would that leave Alice and I? She would never age while Alice and I grew old and carried on a legacy...hopefully. If she'll say yes.

You never know what Alice will say, she's surprising like that.

Where was I? Oh, right. Worrying myself to death over Sadie's rash decisions.

All in all, Sadie has a life in front of her. If she chooses the life of a spirit, she's leaving behind not just family and friends, but what she's been working for her entire life. Before this all happened she badly wanted to help those in need and be an activist against injustice and unethical issues. She was one of the top kids in her class, she had the voice and the passion and the knowledge...was she really just going to throw it all away to living an immortal life, forever sending dreams to children she didn't even know? If I was in that situation, I would easily choose to follow what I've started, not something new that was meaningless to me. But hey, I can't talk. For most of my life I've been giving nightmares to the entire world and spreading fear like it was a plague. I'm just getting used to this human life once more.

Alice regained her health slowly, thank the stars. I guess once the stress slowly disappeared and that she knew that Sadie was okay, it helped her bring back the rosy health that she once possessed. I hated seeing her so sick and frail, so knowing that she was up and about was relieving to say the least.

Nonetheless, once she got better she was back to working and helping me understand things a human adult should know.

"I feel like I should go to college."

Alice looked up at me, the rim of her coffee mug just centimeters away from her mouth.

"What?" she asked.

I sighed and closed the book I was reading and leaned against the table, "I said I think I should go to college. That's what helps people get better jobs, right?"

Alice put down her mug, her eyes not leaving mine. She looked thoroughly shocked. We both could hear Sadie's laughter outside along with the jingling of Sandy's as they flew around above the roof of the house.

"You...you want a job?"

"Yes. You can't be the only one trying to pay off this house. Heck, this isn't even a house anymore." I gestured to the living room, "Alice, it's becoming small. It was fine for a family of two but...I don't know, have you ever thought of moving elsewhere with a better pay and a better view than the forest and the backroad?"

Alice made that slight agreement face with the small shrug, knowing I had a point. I knew she was slowly liking the house less and less and wanted something bigger, something with a really big backyard. She smiled at the look I was giving her and touched my hand with hers.

"Pitch, you're absolutely right. I've thought about it all the time. But with the paycheck I earn along with bills and Sadie's education, I don't really have much of a choice except to stay here until it's all over."

I looked down at her hand, intertwining my fingers with hers, "Okay. Well, if you could have the option of moving somewhere else, you know, with no maximum price limit, what would it be?"

She laughed at that, her eyes shining with a dream I haven't seen until now. She withdrew her hand and leaned against her chair, holding her mug in both hands.

"Hmm...probably somewhere in the countryside, just miles away from the city where I would work. Something close to endless green valleys and a river, with the view of both the sunset and the sunrise. Like a horse ranch or something. You and I could take care of a couple of horses and have a few dogs that Sadie would look after. The house size doesn't matter to me as long as it has a shaded porch with a patio swing or a hammock."

My smile soon matched hers when she looked back at me. "You see me in your future?"

Alice brightly blushed and bit her lip with a grin, "Maybe. It's just a happy thought," her smile fell along with her blush, "Are….are you serious you want to go to college to get a job?"

I nodded, trying to look serious about my decision. I was, but after listening to her dream home I couldn't help but keep on smiling. She sighed and put down her coffee cup.

"It's really expensive, Pitch, we don't have that kind of money."

"But I do," I pressed, "North and everyone else owed me a favor. I can manage four years of that."

Alice pressed her lips together in thought before glancing back at me, "What would you want to go into? You know, for a job?"

Damn. She got me there. I honestly had no clue. I remember many, many decades ago I saw my first college campus and lurked around in the shadows during a few of the lectures. I remember liking it, but can't recalling what I found most intriguing. I want to be in charge of something, of course. Have control over things so I can finally feel that authority. But I also love to tap into the inner workings of humanity, see their flaws and emotions unravel-

"Psychology?" It sounded more like a guess for myself than an actual answer from me.

Her brow rose in doubt, "You...as a psychologist?"

Uh oh. I don't like the look on that face I usually like. I shrugged and nodded, "Yeah, that's pretty much it."

She continued to stare at me like that for a while, and for a second I thought she was going to completely be against it until she broke out into a wild and excited grin, "Well I like it! It actually kind of suits you. So! When will you start?" she leaned against the table with a new amount of eagerness.

Wow. That was actually kind of easy. Maybe she just wanted to be sure that this was my choice? Still, I was all for her excitement.

"Well, I haven't exactly acted upon it just yet. I'm thinking of doing that um...you know, later."

Alice nodded, "Yeah, especially because now is sort of busy with Sadie's newfound spirithood and you're still getting the hang of being human. I get that," she looked up at me with seriousness in her dark eyes, "I just want to be clear with something, okay?"

I nodded slowly, gesturing for her to continue.

She held up one finger, "One, is that this money you'll be spending on for college can't come from us, because we don't have it. This is all from North and the other Guardians, right?"

"Correct."

"Okay," she nodded before sticking up a second finger, "Two, the college can't be too far away. If anything happens I want you closeby for safety's sake. Like if the house burst into flames or Sadie's in trouble."

I grinned and bowed my head, "Exactly what was planned."

Alice's face went from serious to bashful in a matter of seconds, a smile on her face. "Oh. Heh, sorry. I didn't know how long you've been planning this. It is kind of unexpected."

Unexpected...that reminds me, I needed help with planning on Alice's proposal. I honestly didn't know how to do it without thinking I was going to screw something up. Sadie's good with the ideas for creativity, but I should really ask someone who's done it, someone who is actually married or engaged that I knew could help me.

Wait a minute. Alice's friends Emma and Tom. They're married, and Tom and I are technically friends. He could help me!

I can't make this obvious though. The week is almost over, since today is Wednesday, and not only will Sadie's decision to either stay as a spirit or leave as a human will be made but I want all the preparation decided by then. Tom would be a huge help if he's available. I can't afford Alice to get suspicious. She's a very smart and clever woman and if anything, she knew when I lied. Which was rare, I admit it, but she's that tuned in and bright.

I had to be cautious…

"Alice, is Tom around this week? Say today or tomorrow?"

Crap, there's that surprised look on her face. Here comes the 'why.'

"Yeah, why?"

I shrugged, "He invited me to his place for a game and some food. Is that what men usually do?"

Alice giggled at that and nodded, "Yeah, that's Tom for you. He rarely invites guys over and when he does it means he's considering you a friend. I suggest you take him up on the offer! You might have fun. Besides," she winked as she got up, "His homemade buffalo wings are to die for."

Damn, I hated lying to her. Well, it wasn't really a lie, it was more of a white lie. He did invite me over, but I hated using that as an excuse to leave the house to plan a proposal. It just felt like I was lying to her, like I was sneaking around.

Tom was the first human friend I made...this is going to be interesting.

"Seriously? You wanted to ask me for help?" Tom looked genuinely shocked, flattered even.

I slowly nodded, not entirely liking his reaction, "Y-Yes? I mean, you and Emma have such a happy marriage, I thought you would know-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," Tom rested a hand on my shoulder, making me sit back down at the kitchen table, "Koz, you need to understand something first. It's not the proposal that got us here, that was just a stepping stone. It's years and years of trust, a whole bunch of stuff. Believe me, it took me a while to finally want to get here. Using us as an example won't help you."

I must've sulked or something similar to the action, because he sympathetically grinned and slapped my back, "Hey. At least you're acting on it. You know you want to spend the rest of your life with her, right?"

"Yes."

Tom beamed again, folding his arms and leaning back in his chair, "Good. You're ahead of half the male population. What's your plan?"

I raised a brow, "Plan?"

Tom rolled his wrist in the air, as if wanting for me to continue, "You know, a plan. You can't just go on one knee and ask. If the girl is extremely special to you for you to propose you've got to make it memorable."

I opened my mouth before closing it again. Quite honestly….that was my plan. Just get down on one knee and ask for her hand in marriage. But by Tom's face I assume that's...out of the question? I glanced over at the nearby painted wall, just noticing the wedding photos over the fireplace. Emma was scooped up in Tom's arms laughing at the sky with Tom beaming at her despite being in ankle deep seawater. The picture next to it was their hands forming a heart with their son's baby hand in between.

"That was basically the plan." my voice sounded disappointed. I guess I was, a little bit.

Tom nodded at that, "Okay, so you're just wanting something simple, right? Knowing Alice she wouldn't want a big, thoroughly planned proposal. Emma said Alice doesn't like surprises like that, where they go full on out."

"Huh...then what do I do? I want her to feel special when I ask her...let her know she's...the center of my world."

Tom grinned at that again, and this time of being a cheeky one he looked elated. He looked like he was excited for what was to happen, just by hearing those words come from my mouth.

"I know just how to help you," Tom rested a hand on my shoulder again, "But you've got to believe me when I say this. It all is up to you on how to deliver it."

"So what's the first thing I do?" I ask, smirking at him.

I had just the idea, the perfect one, something Alice will not forget. I remembered how much Alice loved swimming at the quarry. At night I remembered seeing it for the first time, how the water literally glowed a vibrant turquoise and the stars looked so bold against the blackness of the sky. She'd love that...It's right on the beach, too. Tom didn't know how I knew of this quarry but thanks to my lucky stars-if I had any to begin with-he didn't ask any more questions. He did go on to say that the most daunting task is trying to find out Alice's ring size without her knowing. He said that when he tried to figure out Emma's, she almost figured out what he was going to do. Almost. But I knew Alice wouldn't...hopefully.

You know, she's pretty smart. She'd probably figure it out if she caught me rummaging around her jewelry box.

Sure enough I came home two hours later, and Alice was sitting at the kitchen table eating a green apple hungrily as she stared at whatever was on her screen. When I stepped through the doorway she looked up, smiling a bit, "How was it?"

I slowly nodded, putting my jacket on the hanger. "He's not that bad. I think he's alright. Very excitable."

"Told ya," Alice bit into the apple again, clicking something on her computer, "The office called me in and I have to go around dinnertime. It got busier than usual. Can you keep an eye on Sadie for me while I'm gone?"

I smirked at her, "Gee, I don't know. What will it cost me?"

She grinned humorously, "An arm and a leg, pretty boy."

I kissed her cheek and whispered in her ear, "I'd give you more than that."

"Like your heart?" Alice's eyes looked purely happy.

I shrugged, slyly glancing down at her. Her smile fell into a blush. She knew what that smile of mine meant. "That, probably along with my-"

"You know I can hear you guys, right?!" shouted Sadie from her room, "Keep it freaking PG in there!"

Alice laughed, keeling over as I chuckled and headed over to her room before she could notice I was in there. That movie on her computer will keep her busy for me to have enough time to find some sort of ring that fits her.

I made a beeline over to her dresser, flipping open the top of a carved box to see a circular mirror, a few necklaces and nothing else besides that, a lace kerchief and charms. Shit. What next? I know she has them, at least one. I glanced around her room, knowing I was timed on this. If I wasn't swift she'll catch me and ask questions, and I don't know what I'd respond with. She knows how to get the truth out of me.

Sure enough on her nightstand table was some sort of hand statue, covered in faded white cloth with rings on each finger.

"Yes," I grinned and plucked a silver, woven ring on the fourth finger and shoved it into my pocket.

Thank God that was there, otherwise-

"What are you doing?"

Fuck!

I whirled around and pointed at the hand statue, "Where did you get that? I don't remember you having it."

Yep. There it was. The skeptical eye. "Sadie gave it to me. Remember? For my birthday?"

"Ooh!" I nodded, glancing at it again, "It's nice. Kind of a neat idea. I never saw one of those before. It startled me for a second."

Alice giggled and looked at it, "Yeah, it can be. I haven't used it yet though. I've been busy with work I haven't taken Sadie's off and put mine on to use it."

...What. Those were Sadie's?

"Oh, so they're...they're Sadie's. Huh. Uhm...where do you keep yours then?" I asked, asking like I was that interested in it. Honestly, it was quite boring talk.

She pointed to the drawer below it. "In there. Not much, but at least Sadie won't know so she doesn't steal mine again. Why?" she looked at me again.

...What am I supposed to say to that?

"Well, it just seemed unfair that Sadie's technically still using hers. Do you want me to help you with it?"

Bingo. Nice job, Pitch. Perfect score.

She rolled her eyes and jerked a thumb towards the hallway, "Get out, Pitch. You look sneaky."

I raised my hands in defense, my brows up as if I'm slightly offended. Once I was back in the hallway and she made her way to Sadie's room, I dashed back in and ripped open the drawer. Immediately grabbing a silver band, I ran back out and pocketed the band inside my jeans, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary occurred at all.

This is going to be one tricky time, one for planning a proposal...and knowing I wasn't the only one worried about Sadie's choice in being a spirit or human…

[icanhearyouglaring]

pt.4: the one with the arrows

title: this is the why pairing: spitfire (main), supermartian, +more summary: It has to be a trick of the mind, or indigestion from last night’s Big Belly Burger, because there is absolutely no way Wally West could have that kind of effect on her. Ever. [pt.1] [pt.2] [pt.3] [Ao3] [ffnet] a/n: here’s a mighty long chapter for everyone who has been waiting a mighty long time for it! you guys should send @oochihas​ thank you messages for basically ensuring this fic will be finished in this century. Also leave feedback in the tags because when the writing gets tough, I look at your tags and find the will to continue! Only one more chapter to go after this! :) Enjoy!

“So, is that your boyfriend?”

Jade’s voice cuts through the silent house like an arrow through the wind, her question striking Artemis between the ribs and knocking the breath from her lungs. Artemis jumps away from the peephole and races to flip the nearest light switch on the wall. With the living room lit, Artemis can glare at her sister properly.

“Are you trying to give me a heart attack?” Artemis snaps, holding her sore hand to her chest. “What the heck are you doing hiding in the dark?”

“Not so loud,” Jade hisses from the living room couch. “Turn the lights off. Mom doesn’t know I’m home.”

“Mom isn’t home,” Artemis scoffs as she pulls off her boots and places them by the door. “You would know that if you ever called her.”

“Oh, really? Her light was on.” Jade perks up and rests her dirty sneakers on the coffee table. “Where is she?”

“She leaves it on so the house doesn’t look empty. It’s girl’s night at Veronica’s place and Mrs. Hall is dropping her off later,” Artemis explains, moving into the kitchen and speaking louder so Jade can hear her as she rifles through the cabinets and gathers what she needs.

“That’s perfect,” Jade replies smugly, sinking deeper into the couch.

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Artemis reminds her as she returns to the living room with a bottle of water, an ice pack, a paper towel, and a pill in hand.

“And you haven’t answered mine”–Jade raises a brow as Artemis takes a seat on the floor on the other side of the coffee table–“though maybe I didn’t ask the right one. What happened to you?”

Artemis doesn’t mean to do it, but as soon as she finishes wiping the dried egg flakes off of her shirt, pressing the ice pack to her hand, and downing an ibuprofen, she unleashes the whole story (sans The Wally Problem) on her sister. Later, she’ll claim absence made her heart grow fonder and that’s why she poured out her feelings to Jade of all people, but the fact remains that Jade is the only person who could possibly understand where she is coming from right now. Plus, Jade is more likely than their mother to condone physical violence as a problem solving method.

“You should’ve kicked him,” Jade eventually reprimands her, breaking the familiar tension that flares up every time they bring up their father. “I mean, I’m sure you pack a good punch, but those boots would’ve done more damage.”

“Next time,” Artemis sighs, rolling her eyes.

“And eggs?” Jade scoffs. “Amateurs. My first Morse party ended in a paintball war. Took out three windows and a birdhouse.”

“You’re joking.”

Jade shakes her head and quickly adds, “It was before Michelle forgot how to have fun.”

“Wow,” Artemis breathes out slowly, unable to imagine Megan’s uptight older sister having anything to do with Jade or her old friends. She makes a note to ask Megan if Michelle ever mentioned Jade.

“Listen up, kid,”–Jade calls for her attention in a tone reminiscent of their mother’s when they’re in trouble–“when we moved here, I played along with the happy, little family front for your sake, but it’s past time to end this charade. Mom might think otherwise, but I couldn’t care less what the people in this town think of us. So your loser friends know about our deadbeat dad– who cares? If they’re really worth keeping around, they sure won’t.”

“They won’t,” Artemis says quietly, trying hard not to imagine the looks on their faces when they realize (if they haven’t already) exactly who Crusher Crock is.

After her outburst at the party, who could resist the temptation of digging deeper? Everyone being one search engine click away from finding the Gotham Gazette’s three page spread on her father’s unprecedented six month string of heists along the East Coast during her childhood was anxiety-inducing enough without having his name thrown out like a bad party favor. The paper never calls Artemis or Jade by name, but the media circus surrounding Crusher Crock’s nationally televised standoff, which only came to an end when two little girls dragged their own mother out of a burning hideout and begged for it all to stop, went on for weeks. Who could forget that?

The tight expression on Jade’s face says she never will.

Jade examines her nails with feigned interest as she goes on to say, “As much as I hate to admit it, Lawrence is always going to be part of our stories, but God, Artemis, sometimes you let him be the whole damn book. You’ve got to stop. Don’t give him the satisfaction.”

A bright light shines through the half-open blinds and illuminates Jade’s sudden smirk.

“That’s my ride,” Jade says before she stands and searches for something in the couch cushion. “If you see Mom, tell her I’ll be home in time for breakfast.”

Artemis reminds her, “You could always call and tell her yourself.”

“Nope,” Jade says, popping the ‘p’ as she pulls her phone from the couch victoriously.

Artemis nods, rolls her eyes, and asks, “Of course not. Why bother having a phone if you never use it?”

“The camera, duh,” Jade replies easily, stuffing her phone into her jacket pocket.

“Of course,” Artemis repeats.

“So,” Jade begins innocently (which is to say in a not-at-all-innocent manner), “was that your boyfriend? He looked familiar.”

Artemis looks out the window, simply to not look at Jade. “He’s not my boyfriend.”

“Oh,” Jade says, and Artemis doesn’t even need to be looking at her sister to know that there’s a grin on her face, “so he’s your boy toy, then? Looks like I have taught you something. I am so proud.”

“Jade,” Artemis groans, but her next words are overpowered by a car horn outside.

“So impatient,” Jade tuts as she puts on her jacket. She takes a step towards the door before giving Artemis a second glance. The horn outside honks again. Jade sighs shortly.

“A word of warning, Sis. Redheads in this town? Clingy as hell. Think about what I said”–Jade pauses to reach over the coffee table, pluck a piece of eggshell out of her sister’s hair, and flick it onto the rug–“and take a shower. Eggshell in your hair? Kind of pathetic.”

Jade may not be the kindest, most attentive sister, but when she walks out the door and gives Artemis one last look before she leaves, Artemis has to admit it.

Jade has her moments.

-o-

After a hot mug of tea and a hotter shower, Artemis crawls into bed and counts the glowing stars on the ceiling in an unsuccessful attempt to drag her mind out of the contemplative place Jade’s words put it in. It’s easy enough for Jade to say her friends won’t care (Jade’s friends didn’t care about anything). Artemis takes her input with a grain of salt, seeing as the friend department is the one area where Artemis has always had an advantage over her sister (that advantage being that Artemis is nice). Plus, Jade doesn’t even know Artemis’s friends. Not taking into account their brief overlap at school, Artemis could count on her fingers the number of times Megan has interacted with Jade.

A knock at her window cuts her star count off at 23.

At first, she thinks she imagined it, but then the knock turns into another, and another, and another, until it falls into a familiar rhythm and she knows it’s real.

Artemis’s brow furrows as she slips out of bed. She slowly makes her way to the window and pulls the curtains apart to reveal Megan, standing on the other side of the glass with a sheepish smile. When her best friend waves, Artemis can’t help but give Jade a little more credit. Redheads in this town really are clingy.

“What are you doing here?” Artemis asks as soon as she opens the window, making sure to keep a hand on the old frame so it doesn’t slip down between them.

“Well, you left your phone and your bag and your bike at my house,” Megan explains, shrugging off the messenger bag and passing it to Artemis through the window. “I brought these, but your bike’s still in the shed.”

“Oh, thanks,” Artemis says, tossing the bag onto the floor and accidentally sending her phone sliding out of its pocket. “You didn’t have to do that. I was going to come back in the morning.”

“It’s not a big deal, trust me. Michelle and Melissa are being...” Megan waves a shaking fist at the air and huffs. “I had to get out of there, and Conner offered to drop me off on his way home, so here I am.”

It’s then that Artemis spots the tattered Hello Kitty backpack hanging off of Megan’s shoulder.

“They booted you?” Artemis asks, even though she already knows the answer.

There exists a cruel and unusual punishment between the Morse sisters within their household, a punishment Mr. and Mrs. Morse have yet to discover even after the nearly eleven years of its existence. Megan has never divulged the full story of its origin, but Artemis has heard enough to know that the three eldest Morse sisters–Morgan, Mabel, and Minnie–are not to be trifled with in any capacity.

Legend says Mabel was the first to be booted, unanimously, by all five of her sisters (though perhaps five year old Melissa and four year old Megan’s votes should not have been counted) after refusing to tell their parents that she was the one who backed the car into the playhouse. Back then, Booting meant sleeping on the musty couch next to the spooky, drafty window in the basement. Over time, Booting only got worse, moving from a sleeping bag in the treehouse to full blown property banishment with only Hello Kitty as a companion.

“Yup. With the Iron Boot, too. Can I...?” Megan trails off, tentatively placing her hands on the window sill.

Artemis doesn’t hesitate. “Of course you can.”

Megan climbs through the window with practiced ease and Artemis closes it behind her. They stand and consider each other for a few seconds before Megan cracks first.

“You left,” she says, not accusingly per se, but Artemis hears the why in Megan’s words.

“I couldn’t stay,” Artemis starts. “I felt like a one woman freak show. I mean, people were watching through the windows, from the fence– I even saw a couple of people in your hedges. There was egg goop in my hair and my bra. I had to get out of there. I’m really sorry for disappearing and I know I should’ve said something, and, I mean, I definitely thought about it once I passed Fir Street and I was going to text you but–” Artemis cuts off her own rambling with a steep breath and a wave of her hand towards the ground where her (most likely dead) cell phone lies.

“It’s alright that you left. I was just worried.” Megan shrugs and drops her backpack onto the floor. “I am worried. I’ve never seen you so upset.”

“Well, I’m okay now,” Artemis assures her as she walks to her dresser and opens a drawer.

Megan takes a seat on Artemis’s bed and shakes her head. “I know that’s a lie.”

Not the worst one.

“Do you need pajamas?” Artemis asks abruptly, pulling an old band t-shirt from the drawer.

Megan nods. “Yes, please. I barely had time to throw on non-egg covered clothes before they kicked me out.”

Artemis tosses Megan the top and raises a brow. “It took you that long to get here?”

“Well, they waited until I helped get everyone else out before they booted me,” Megan explains, stripping off her sweater and replacing it with Artemis’s top.

“Convenient,” Artemis notes, as she digs deeper into the drawer.

“Pfft, yeah, for them. And then I had to finish talking to Conner. We were making up for awhile.”

Artemis pauses for a second and smirks. “Sure you weren’t making out?”

“Making up,” Megan emphasizes with a slight whine, letting Artemis know that she is one hundred percent on target about them making out.

At least that went right, Artemis muses, pulling a pair of bunny-print shorts from the drawer and handing them to Megan. “Here, you left these here the last time you spent the night.”

Megan smiles as she examines the shorts. “Oh, sweet, I thought Melissa stole them. Thanks.”

“No problem,” Artemis says as she moves from the dresser to reach underneath her bed. “Oh, and I’ve got a surprise for you– if I can– just–”

The tip of Artemis’s fingers brush against a battered box and she has to stretch to grab it and pull it out into the open.

“We don’t have to sleep back to back anymore,” she says, opening the box to reveal a mass of plastic. “My mom got an air mattress at the Lanes’ yard sale. You can take the real bed.”

“Ooo, fancy,” Megan notes, and she joins Artemis on the floor to help spread out the plastic. “And no, I call dibs on this one. It reminds me of camping. It’s nice.”

“Yeah, fact check: it was five bucks and has no holes. And they even threw in the hand pump for a quarter extra,” Artemis adds, shaking the box to get the tightly-wedged hand pump out and into Megan’s hands.

They sit on the floor as Megan holds the nozzle in place, and Artemis sends air into the mattress with steady pumps of the handle. As the mattress rises, so does Megan’s curiosity. Artemis catches a glimpse of the question in her best friend’s eyes and makes it a point to concentrate on the pump. Her arms begin to ache as she pumps a little too fast. When the air mattress is full and covered in some spare blankets, Artemis practically races to get under the covers of her own bed and say goodnight.

Not even a minute later, Megan breaks the silence.

“So,” she starts, in a sleepover–, we aren’t sleeping tonight– kind of way, “are we going to talk about it or are we acting like it never happened?”

Artemis sighs at the glowing stars above her, as though they’ll hear and grant her unspoken wish for another distraction.

“Is that a talk sigh or a go-to-sleep sigh?” Megan asks.

The stars aren’t on Artemis’s side tonight.

Artemis rolls over, looks over the edge of the bed, and finds Megan smiling up at her innocently.

“It’s a talk sigh,” Artemis relents, moving herself into a seated position.

“Oh my god, yes,” Megan says, before she bounces off of the air mattress and climbs up onto the bed with Artemis.

As soon as she looks into Megan’s sparkling, hope-filled eyes, Artemis freezes. A thought, one more horrifying and familiar than any other, strikes her. Bad Dad was one thing, but what if Megan doesn’t get it, it being the foundation of lies Artemis laid back when they first met? Until today, Megan had never had a reason to question the cover story Artemis threw together the day they became real friends.

What if knowing the whole truth, that not only is her best friend’s father a pretty notorious criminal, but that said best friend also lied to her face about it for so long, hurts her?  

She’s had enough of hurting people today (including herself).

“Actually, forget that.” Artemis turns away from Megan, lays back down, and begins to pull on the covers. “It was definitely a go-to-sleep sigh.”

She’s almost there with the covers over her head and her face a few inches from the pillow, but Megan promptly rips away the comforters and says, “You said you wanted to talk. So talk. Please.”

“I change my mind.” Artemis tries to pull the blanket back, but Megan’s grip is strong.

“Artemis,” Megan whines softly, yanking the covers so hard she pulls Artemis up into a seated position. “No take backs. Not this time.”

Artemis wrings the edge of the blanket in her hand, tries to swallow down her panic, and stumbles over her words. “If I tell you, you can’t– you can’t freak out, okay? Because what Cam said, it’s– I’ve done enough freaking out over it, okay? I’m so sorry. Just–please don’t look at me differently.”

Megan clasps both of Artemis’s hands in hers, gently untangling them from the blanket before she says, “Artemis, I look at you and I see my best friend– no, my sister. My favorite sister, and that’s saying something. Nothing anyone does or says is going to change that.”

Artemis bites the inside of her cheek before she softly admits, “I lied to you.”

Megan tilts her head, and Artemis takes that as a cue to continue.

“I lied a lot, to everyone. I told you my dad was living in another state and he’s a total douchebag, and that’s so true, but I never told you the real reason we moved here. I haven’t told anyone.”

“Well, why not?” Megan presses.

“Because it’s hard,” Artemis says quickly, not giving her voice a chance to break, and she pulls her hands out of Megan’s in order to tug at the end of the blanket, “I mean, how do you even have that conversation? Hey, nice to meet you, my dad’s a high profile thief and nearly got my whole family killed because of it, isn’t the weather nice today? That’s an icebreaker if there ever was one.”

“Well, don’t stop now,” Megan says, gently nudging Artemis’s arm.

“And it’s not like I want it following me for the rest of my life,” Artemis continues. “My childhood wasn’t normal in the slightest and when people find out all the details, I can’t get past it because that’s all they can see. I lived in Gotham for, what, maybe three months after my dad got busted? One person figured out who we were and after that, no matter where I went, all I heard was, Poor little Artemis, her dad’s a thief. Hope the apple falls far from that tree. Better hold onto my wallet a little tighter, just in case. Or Really? Paula is that woman? I’m surprised they didn’t take those girls away from her after all of that. Or Hey, Bill, did you hear? Those Crock girls just moved in downstairs. Guess the neighborhood really is going to the dogs, isn’t it? Everywhere, all the time. And those were just the adults. The kids were worse. And as much as I wish it didn’t bother me, it did. Jade and I got into so much trouble telling those people to mind their freakin’ own. So my mom moved us out here, for a fresh start in a new place where we didn’t have to live under a microscope.”

Artemis sighs and looks down at her hands as she continues, “When I met you at the park, I couldn’t get over how nice it was to have a conversation where I didn’t have to defend myself to a complete stranger. And I– I didn’t want that to go away, so as soon as I got home I made Jade and my mom swear to leave our past in the past.”

And they had done just that, with an apparent ease Artemis envied greatly.

“And that was it. After that, it was easy. A little lie here and there wasn’t going to hurt anyone. At least it wasn’t supposed to.” Artemis looks up and winces. “Sorry for ruining your party.”

“Woah,” Megan says, a wrinkle forming between her brows as she holds Artemis’s gaze, “you did not ruin the party. Cameron and his groupies did that, and then he had his meltdown.”

“Still,” Artemis says, shrugging, “it was a lot. This is a lot.”

“Yeah, it is,” Megan agrees with an understanding nod, “but I get it. I mean, when we met, I gave you directions to 7/11; you didn’t owe me your life story.”

This draws a laugh out of the both of them, but it burns out as quickly as it came.

Megan sighs slowly before she says, “You know, you still don’t owe me anything, right? You don’t have to tell me anything else if you don’t want to.”

“What happened to don’t stop?” Artemis half-jokes through a weak smile.

“Well, we all have our secrets.” Megan shrugs and smiles back. “Also, it’s late and I only do one big reveal a day.”

“So,” Artemis starts slowly, “we’re good?”

Megan nods. “We were never not good, dummy.”

Artemis smiles. “Good.”

Megan waits half a second before pouncing and giving Artemis a tight hug, a hug which she hastily returns with just as much feeling. When they release each other, Megan lies back on the bed, rolls off the side, and lands on the air mattress with a short laugh.

“Having fun?” Artemis asks, looking over the edge of the bed.

“Oodles.”

Artemis gives Megan time to get tucked in before she leans over and asks, “Hey, how’d you know I went home and not to the park?”

“I have my ways,” Megan says slyly.

Artemis snorts. “You went to the park and then came here.”

“No,” Megan laughs, “Wally told me when he came back.”

“Oh.” Artemis stills in confusion. “He went all the way back there?”

“Yeah, his bike was in the shed, and he tried to help clean up but I sent him home.”

“Hm,” Artemis murmurs before posing a question as nonchalantly as she can (which is to say not at all), “does he seem different to you?”

“Different how?” Megan asks, rising to her elbows.

“I dunno. Different. Like, less.. Wally?” Artemis says his name like it means something, and that’s not even her first mistake.

“Ohhhh,” Megan gasps, quickly dropping back into the mattress and hiding her traitorous grin behind her hands, “you do like him.”

Even in the dark, Megan’s brown eyes sparkle with uncontained glee, and Artemis is torn between hiding under her pillow or tossing it in her so-called-friend’s face.

“I do not– Wait, what do you mean do?”

“Well, I’ve had my suspicions but–”

“Suspicions from where?” Artemis’s voice cracks.

“Um, everywhere? You two were looking pret-ty close at my party.”

Artemis flops back into her bed, looks to the stars, and asks, “How’d you see that past Conner’s steely blue eyes?”

Megan presses on, unfazed. “And he walked you home.”

“He walked behind me, in the same direction. It was totally separate walking,” Artemis clarifies.

“You did talk a lot over the summer.”

“I talked to the mailman a lot, too,” Artemis says snarkily, leaning over the edge of the bed again. “Doesn’t mean I want to bone him.”

It’s the wrong thing to say; Artemis knows this the moment it leaves her mouth.

“Oh my god, you want to bone Wally.”

“What?” Artemis shrieks. “I didn’t say that!”

“You sound ready to smother me so I know I’m right. Aw, Artemis,” Megan presses her hands against her cheeks to soften her grin, “tell me I’m right. I want to be right so bad. This night’s been such a mess; let me have this.”

“Shut up,” Artemis whines, rising and turning in bed to face the window. “Aren’t you tired yet, Grandma?”

Megan props herself up, grinning from ear to ear. “I won’t be until you admit that you like him. Seriously, you two would be so cute together.”

Artemis feigns shutting her eyes and clips, “Sleep. Please.” To her surprise, this seems to do the trick, as there isn’t any immediate reply. Artemis settles into her bed and tries to follow her own orders, but curiosity and anxiety get the best of her only a minute later, and she makes the mistake of peering over the bed to see if Megan is still awake, which, obviously, she is.

The redhead quirks her eyebrow and holds Artemis’s gaze for a moment, as if determined to pry the truth out of her this very instant. It’s a good staring game, and she almost wins, but Artemis has had too much practice at this with Jade (even if she’s rarely won) and eventually, Megan flops back down to the air mattress with a dramatic sigh.

After a while, Artemis adds, “Even if I did like him–and I’m not saying I do– but if I did, I just couldn’t, you know?”

Megan doesn’t hesitate. “Couldn’t bone him?”

“No– God– Your mom is right. I’ve been a terrible influence on you. I just–” Artemis exhales loudly and flips onto her back as the words do backflips in her brain. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“The beginning, maybe?” Megan suggests before laughing shortly. “Remember when you threw an apple core at his head in middle school?”

Artemis snorts fondly. “I got lunch detention for it, so yeah.”

“You’ve come so far. I’m so proud,” says Megan, as she wipes a fake tear from her cheek.

“It’s so weird. I still can’t believe it. I don’t even know what happened. He has the nerve to stop being such a geek all the time and actually be nice and his hair freaking wooshes every chance it gets and it’s like, who the fuck gave Wally West permission to get hot? I have some choice words for them.”

“I think the words you’re looking for are ‘thank’ and ‘you’,” Megan giggles.

“And my words for you are ‘shut’ and ‘up’.”

“Well, I can’t help it,” Megan huffs goodnaturedly. “You’re never like this about a guy. I have to get my teasing in while I can. You tease me about Conner all the time. It’s only fair.”

“So this is, what, karma?”

“Justice,” Megan answers. “You have to tell him. Oh, oh, can I please be there? Not there there, obviously, but you’ll tell me when you tell him, right?”

“You’ll be the first to know,” Artemis says flatly. She rolls on her side and turns her face into the pillow, so the words she says next are only loud enough for herself to hear.

“Have fun waiting forever.”

-o-

For all the doomsday prepping they’ve done in the dead of night at countless sleepovers in the past, Artemis and Megan have no intricate survival strategy ready for what awaits them within the walls of Happy Harbor High on Monday morning.

Artemis takes it as a true sign of the end of times when they walk into Carr’s class and the room goes silent. She lingers in the doorway to watch her classmates avoid her eyes. Megan gently guides (pushes) her into the room just as the second bell rings. They sit in their usual seats and the chatter that usually fills the room before Carr snaps his fingers to start the day is noticeably absent.

Perfect, Artemis thinks, holding her pencil so tightly it’s a miracle it doesn’t snap in half. The tip doesn’t hold up half as well, as it breaks as soon as she presses it against her notebook.

The rest of the day is full of the same stares and whispers, and had there been any other reason for people to be talking about her, Artemis would have been just fine, and Megan (and by extension Conner) would not be sticking to her like glue whenever possible despite her (quite vocal) protests. They’re part bulldozers, part brick walls; no one gets through to Artemis without their approval. And as much as Artemis would love for things to be a little more normal, she appreciates their enthusiasm.

Come lunch, she almost feels like a celebrity.

Megan keeps the conversation at the lunch table strictly about the party and the upcoming dance and Artemis could not be more grateful. Apparently, Megan’s party had been filled to the brim with dramatic moments even before Cameron showed up. Halfway through Bette’s story about catching some freshmen in a coat closet, Artemis loses interest and rests her head on her folded arms on the table. From her position at the edge of the table, she can see most of the quad, including the table where Wally and his friends usually congregate.

Artemis taps her feet against the ground as she contemplates her next move and watches Wally furiously write something at his table. She already knows it’s the history packet that’s due next period, but there’s a voice egging her on in her head (the one that sounds suspiciously like Megan) saying, Go tell him.

“Hurry, lunch is almost over. I want to watch,” Megan whispers into her ear, a little louder.

Artemis raises her head and gives Megan a withering look. Megan just smiles back.

“Absolutely not,” Artemis says, turning back to look at Wally.

“Please,” Megan quietly begs.

“Nope.”

Artemis watches Wally flip the pages of his homework back and forth and back and forth before he places his pencil and highlighter down and smiles victoriously to himself. It is only by chance that when he glances up he catches her staring. The smile slips off of his face faster than she can look away, so she’s forced to watch his expression flatline before he quickly looks away. Ouch.

“I am going”–Artemis abruptly addresses half of the table as she stands and picks up her backpack–“to the bathroom.”

“Boo,” Megan says next to her, pouting childishly as she starts to pick up her own backpack.

Artemis shakes her head and starts walking. “No entourage. I think I can handle this myself. I’ll see you guys in the locker room later.”

A chorus of ‘later’s send her off before they return to their regularly scheduled post-party debrief. Artemis can feel Megan’s disappointed gaze on her back as she walks out of the quad towards the classrooms. As much as she’d love to rip the bandaid off and get out of the limbo of not knowing, Artemis knows that confessing in the middle of the quad in front of half of the cross country team is not ideal. Things like this need to be done more discreetly. Megan will have to hear what happens secondhand.

Artemis walks straight past the bathrooms and enters Ms. Lance’s classroom with one thought in mind:

Today’s the day.

-o-

Wally walks into history class just before the late bell rings and sits down behind her without giving her a single glance.

The note folded up underneath Artemis’s hand is covered in shitty eraser marks and more than a few scribbles, but it’s sincere and that’s really all she has to offer. A series of what ifs creep into her mind as she prepares to pass it back when Ms. Lance tells them to pass up their homework. What if she’s wrong? What if it sounds too weird? What if the everything Megan had been talking about had been something else entirely?

As Ms. Lance sets up the documentary they're scheduled to watch on the projector, Artemis unfolds her note and reads it three times. As soon as she reads the last line for the last time, she panics, crumbles the note up, and stuffs it into her backpack.

This is so stupid, she yells internally.

After Ms. Lance passes each row a question sheet to go along with the documentary, Artemis peels a sticky note out of her binder, scribbles a quick Thanks for walking me home. I owe you one. -A on it, and posts it on Wally’s question sheet before she passes the paper to him.

She spends the rest of class waiting for a note that never comes.

No matter how many times the opportunity arises for him to successfully pass a message along, not one piece of paper with even a short No problem written on it makes it to her. Each passing moment makes Artemis more nervous. Her pencil taps against her desk in time with her foot tapping against the floor. She manages to fill in most of the question sheet even as her focus keeps flipping from the material on the screen to the figurative radio silence from the boy behind her.

It feels like an eternity before Ms. Lance turns on the lights and the bell rings. People turn in their papers to her as they file out of the room.

Artemis is the last to hand in her question sheet and she walks out of the room in a slight daze, wondering how on Earth she just got ghosted in person.

-o-

There’s something soothingly satisfying about the sound Artemis’s arrow makes when it hits the center of a practice target. It’s too bad she hasn’t been able to hit one all goddamn day.

Artemis’s eyes flit from her target to the tarp roof and walls of their temporary shooting range. Maybe it’s the new range that’s getting to her. She just needs time to adjust. That’s all it is.

To her left, Roy releases an arrow and Artemis watches it fly straight into the center of the practice target.

“Money,” Roy fake-whispers to himself, as he oh-so-unfortunately often does.

After making a mental note to see if Jade knows about that, Artemis takes a deep breath and roughly releases it through her nose.

Just one damn shot, she thinks, setting her shoulders back and narrowing her gaze at the target. Please.

But the tension in her shoulders, bruises on her knuckles, and mess in her mind keep Artemis from landing a single, spot-on shot and it sucks.

A bunch of teens talking about her is one thing, but that doesn’t bother her has as much as Wally completely blowing her off. Maybe “Maybe” wasn’t a good mindset to hold onto after all. She should have been more realistic. Wally probably searched “Who is Crusher Crock” over the weekend and decided she was more trouble than she was worth. Artemis sighs heavily as another arrow hits the dirt underneath the target.

There has to be a better explanation than that. Maybe he feels bad for her and doesn’t know how to treat her anymore. The look of pity he gave her back at the party flashes through her mind just as she releases another arrow. This one hits the top of the tarp and falls to the ground at the end of her lane.

“Okay, enough,” Roy says, quickly stepping forward to stop her from yanking another arrow out of their shared bucket.

“What gives?” Artemis asks with a huff, holding her bow closer to her before he can take that too.

“I wasn’t going to say anything, but since you’re out here shooting worse than that human disaster,” Roy jerks his thumb towards where Coach Queen is currently confiscating the bow from Lori Lemaris’s panicked hands, “I feel like I have a moral obligation to make sure you don’t hurt somebody.”

Artemis blows a piece of loose hair away from her face and sardonically asks, “Haven’t you heard? I already have. You’re a little late.”

Roy scoffs. “Of course I’ve heard. Even if Jade hadn’t filled me in, the whole school has been talking about it all day– and you want to know what I think?”

“Not really,” Artemis deadpans.

“You should’ve kicked him,” Roy continues, pretending not to hear her. “Why the hell are you risking your hand when we have a qualifier next week? With Lori on deck, we need all the points we can get.”

“Aw, Roy, I didn’t know you cared,” Artemis says, rolling her eyes as she takes a seat on a bench near the edge of the shooting range and pretends to pick away invisible fibers from her bowstring.

Roy takes her lead and sits down beside her, but before he can say a word, Artemis silences him with her sharp eyes.

“You’re in a good mood,” she says accusingly, pointing the tip of her bow towards him.

“It happens,” Roy says flippantly, using a finger to push the bow away from him.

Artemis warily asks, “Is this a Jade thing?”

“I thought you said we were done talking about Jade,” Roy retorts, picking up a water bottle from underneath the bench.

“It is, isn’t it?”

“It is not a Jade thing, or an any thing. Who are you? The mood police?”

“No, it’s just that Jade was weirdly nice at breakfast this morning and that usually means one of two things. She won a fight or she got–”

“O-kay,” Roy interrupts her quickly, harmlessly thwacking Artemis’s arm with his nearly empty water bottle, “no more talking about Jade. If you want to talk, let’s talk about what’s turning your shots to shit.”

“That’s personal. We don’t go there,” Artemis reminds him.

Roy shakes his head. “Oh, trust me, I’ve been there longer than you think.”

“Wait, what?” Artemis asks, turning to face Roy fully. “You already knew? About my dad?”

“Well, yeah,” Roy says, shrugging. “After I found out you and Jade were sisters, I had some questions and, surprisingly enough, Jade gave me more answers than I expected.”

Artemis waits a few seconds before she asks, “And?”

Roy rolls his eyes at her. “And what? She’s my girlfriend and you’re the little blackmailer who keeps trying to break my records. It is what it is.”

“Yeah.” Artemis nods slowly, appreciating Roy's indifference.

“I can’t believe she just up and told you,” she admits after a moment, a bit miffed that Jade would spill the beans so easily.

Roy sucks his teeth before he says, “Oh, don’t bring this up with her. She said if I ever told you she told me, she’d tell Dinah we let Sin watch The Bride of Chucky.”

“You did?”

“Of course not, but Jade would still tell her that.”

Artemis wrinkles her nose. “Ugh, why do you like her again?”

“Well,” Roy’s brow creases for a moment before he shrugs and says, “I don’t know. She gets me? Also, I think if I didn’t love her, I’d probably hate her.”

“That’s kind of fucked up,” Artemis says dryly.

“That’s life sometimes,” Roy says, clapping his hand against the bench and nodding towards the stadium bleachers in the distance. “I meant what I said about taking it easy on that hand. You need to let off some steam, constructively, and since you’re banned from using any more projectiles for today– hey, it’s for the greater good– you can go run. I’ll tell Oliver you’re conditioning.”

“Aye, aye, captain,” Artemis says, smartly saluting him as she rises from the bench.

Roy raises his hand for her to stop. “Hold up. One request. Can we go back to doing that thing where I pretend not to care and you pretend to hate my guts? This was nice and all, but I have a reputation to uphold.” A small grin edges its way up his lips.

Artemis waves him off as she picks up her backpack and sports bag on her way out of the shooting range. “Yeah, yeah, whatever, you big softie.”

“Get out of here, Blondie,” he calls out after her.

“Stuff it, Archie.”

Artemis jogs all the way to the stadium bleachers with her backpack and sports bag in hand. She drops them at the bottom of the bleachers before she picks a set of stairs and starts running. With each step, her mind goes over the gameplan to solve The Wally Problem (this in addition to her usual bleacher mantra of ‘Don’t trip, don’t trip, don’t trip’).

She comes to the conclusion that living between knowing and not knowing is no way to live. She should’ve just given him the original note in history and been done with it. Her cards would be on the table, plain as day, and if things went wrong, she’d get over it (though she’d really like it if things went right this time). Anything is better than being ignored (and if he is going to ignore her, he could at least have the decency to give her a reason why).

Halfway through her set, she decides to trash the note in her backpack and just talk to him face-to-face. No more hiding behind pieces of paper. While it would be a hell of a lot easier to write it out and chuck it in his general direction, she knows this needs to be done a certain way. She is going to tell him about her Big Feelings, and he is going to listen.

Artemis spends the rest of her run thinking of ways to talk about said feelings without sounding like a complete weirdo. It takes a concerningly long amount of time for her to settle on something, and her aching feet and burning lungs thank her when she reaches the bottom stair. She plucks her water bottle out of her bag before climbing back up at a walk to cool down.

A few rows from the top, she stops, lies down on her back on the bleacher, and laments not wearing a hat before flipping over onto her stomach. Through the gaps between the rows, she spots a small pile of backpacks surrounding one of the support beams. The collection remains undisturbed for only a while, though, as two familiar figures– one raven haired and the other red– jog into view. What kind of luck.

“Jay really ran us ragged out there today,” Wally says, taking a seat on the grass near the backpacks and stretching out his legs. “Become one with my feet, my shoes have.”

“At least you didn’t have to deal with Tommy trying to tackle you halfway across the field,” Conner says, sitting beside Wally and rolling his shoulders back. “I’m telling you, if Artemis hadn’t already met our violence quota...”

“Yeah, I know what you mean. You saw what went on with their freakin’ leader in Cross’ class.” Wally snorts. “Chucking my backpack at his head would’ve been worth the detention, by the way.”

Conner shakes his head and pulls his backpack closer to himself. “That was my backpack and no, it wouldn’t have been. They really don’t know when to quit, do they? I’d bet an entire pizza they were the ones who put tuna in Kaldur’s locker this morning.”

Artemis narrows her eyes and adds that bit of information to her list of Things Deserving of Retribution.

“Definitely,” Wally agrees pensively, and there’s a slight pause before he moans. “Dude, we’ve talked about this. No more food talk right after practice. It’s painful. Plus, I can’t believe you’d risk a whole pizza. Go half, at most. If you bet half of a whole pizza and lose, you still have the other half.”

“What if you’re buying by the slice?” Conner asks, pulling a water bottle out of his backpack.

“That wasn’t what you said.”

“But what if?”

“Fine,” Wally relents. “If you’re buying by the slice, then you must not be confident in whatever it is you’re betting on. At that point, you shouldn’t even make the bet. Go big or go home.”

“Hm... Speaking of going big,” Conner segues, rubbing the back of his neck, “Megan asked me to ask her to the dance by the end of the week.”

Artemis, intrigued, dares to peek further and get a better look through the stands. Megan had told her she’d been dropping hints, but since the girl is about as subtle as an Independence Day fireworks show, Artemis doesn’t doubt Megan said something to that effect.

Wally winces, not totally sympathetic but definitely trying to be. “Oof, tight deadline this time around, dude. She gave you a month for the Swing Dance last year.”

“Yeah, and I think she wants it to be some sort of– I don’t know,”–Conner waves his hand in the air–“grand gesture? She made it seem like it should be a big deal.”

“Oh, it has to be a big deal. It’s Homecoming, not Spring Fling,” Wally explains matter-of-factly, pointing the end of his sports drink at Conner.

Conner sighs, and Artemis can practically feel him rolling his eyes as he says, “It’s going to be just like the last one.”

“You know, this kind of attitude is exactly why Megs has to give you a timeline,” Wally says, raising an accusatory brow at his friend as he takes a sip of his sports drink.

Artemis takes her own swig to that.  

Conner bristles. “Yeah, well, what about you? Have you asked Artemis yet?”

What?

Artemis nearly chokes on the last of her water and stiffens to stay hidden on the bleacher as she muffles her coughs. Luckily, Wally is too busy choking on his own drink to notice her.

“What?” Wally asks once the worst of the fit subsides, voicing Artemis’s own train of thought (though her What sounds more like a flatlining heart monitor).

“Don’t be so dramatic,” Conner says, giving the still-coughing Wally a hard pat on the back for good measure.

Wally takes a long, dramatic breath before he says, “I am not dramatic. You just surprised me. What makes you think I want to ask Artemis to the dance?”

There’s a sinking feeling in her stomach, one strangely opposite to what she’s become used to feeling when he says her name. It’s different this time, as if asking her of all people to the dance would be as terrible an idea as asking Medusa to be your optometrist.

“Um,” Conner starts with an air of sarcasm, “I don’t know, maybe it’s the everything about you two.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Wally laughs him off.

Conner doesn’t buy it. “Sure, you don’t.”

“Look, after everything that happened this weekend...” Wally trails off, shaking his head. “I just– I don’t–”

“If you’re that scared, ask her to go just as friends,” Conner advises (with an air of authority Artemis is pretty sure he doesn’t have on this matter).

Or, you know, he could just talk to her, Artemis thinks, hanging on every word.

“Ugh, dude, you don’t get it,” Wally says after a moment, and he continues with all the certainty in the world, “I don’t want to be her friend.”

Artemis, de-statuified, flinches hard enough to send her now-empty water bottle careening off the side of the bleacher bench and straight through the gap right above Wally. The plastic cracks against the top of his head and he yelps in pain.

Conner, quite dexterously, catches the bottle mid-air, looks up, and regrets (if the curse he mouths is any indication).

“What the heck?” Wally asks, one hand on his head.

He tilts his head upwards and scans the stands above him, and Artemis pinpoints the moment he realizes exactly who she is.

“Whoops,” she says flatly, loudly, as she fights the urge to take off her shoe and drop it down, too, because the bottle couldn’t have hurt Wally as much as his words hurt her, which she would personally liken to a Buffy-style stake to the heart (talk about flatlining). It was one thing for her to think he might feel that way, but to actually hear him say the words sends all of her plans straight into the garbage.

“Artemis?” Wally asks with a gasp, still rubbing at the spot the bottle hit his head. “Hey–I–”

Artemis doesn’t bother listening, not that she’s able to hear him as she makes her way down the bleachers at a record pace with thundering steps and remarkable grace. She plucks her backpack out from under the bottom row of seats, puts it on, and makes a beeline for her bike in the parking lot at the other end of the stadium. The signs and posters about the upcoming dance and class elections tied to the fences blur as she she rushes away, and her feet slam against the pavement, filled with every pushed down emotion she refuses to set free.

Not here. Not here.

Her theory had been wrong. Knowing was worse than not knowing. Knowing unleashed a whole new flood of questions.

What had she been thinking? Had Wally played her, or had she played herself? Had it been the fucking woosh, putting thoughts into her head, making her see things that were obviously not there? If only it was that easy.

But what if it had been there? What if everything had been real and good until the party? What if Wally couldn’t just say ‘It is what it is’ like Roy did and that be that? That thought alone makes her walk faster. He couldn’t handle it. That was it. She doesn’t even has to ask why because he said it himself.

After everything that happened...

She passes the shooting range, narrowly avoids bumping into Roy, and doesn’t look back when he calls out her name. For a split second, she thinks he calls her again, but upon closer listening, she hears that it’s another person calling out her name (and it’s a bit dangerous for him to do so considering she wants to put Jade and Roy’s advice to use and punt him across the football field for making her feel this way).

By the time she reaches the bike racks in the parking lot, Artemis decides she’s had enough for one day. She makes a run for her bike and rushes to unlock it from the rack, but when she moves to pull it out, the front tire detaches from the frame.

“What the fuck?!” Artemis shouts, her eyes blazing as she holds up her bike frame. “Who the fuck–”

Stupid question.

Artemis grits her teeth as she picks up her detached and undeniably flat tire. “Go to fucking hell, Cam.”

She quickly scans the ground for the missing pieces of her bike, but her chances of finding them are slim to none, considering Cameron probably took them and Wally’s getting closer. With her options limited, Artemis carries her bike frame in one hand and her tire in the other and starts walking.

“Artemis, hold on!”

“Go away! You walk me home, you act like my friend, and what?” The bite in her words increases even as her voice breaks. “You didn’t talk to me all day and now you have something to say?”

Artemis swings around, placing half of her bike between them. For a moment his face lights up with hope, but then he looks her in the eye and that quickly changes. Jade’s words flash through her mind and slip through her lips with a venom just as Jade.

“You know what?” she asks slowly, inconcealable anguish dulling the edges of her words. “I’ve heard enough. I’m done. Whatever problem you have with me, it’s your problem. Not mine. You don’t want to be friends? That’s your loss, Wallman. If I needed friends like you, I’d go hang out with the jerk who did this.” She raises the wheel in her hand and uses it to (rather restrainedly) push Wally further away.

Wally cringes and holds a piece of the tire as he quickly says, “Look, Artemis, that’s not what I–”

The screeching of brakes overpowers Wally’s words.

Artemis never thought she’d see salvation in the form of Roy’s ancient pickup truck waiting at the curb, but there it is.

“Are you bothering her, Wally?” Roy asks, as he steps out of the truck with a menacing glare on his face. He glances at Artemis’s broken bike, and his glare gets worse. “Did he do that?”

“What? No!” Wally shouts, frustratedly releasing the tire and taking a step back.

“This,” Artemis says, slightly lifting up her bike frame, “was Cameron and his stupid friends.”

“Yeah, Roy,” Wally interjects crossly. “Why on Earth would you think I’d do–”

“That,” Artemis interrupts, nodding her head towards Wally, “is really bothering me.”

Roy nods his head a few times before taking hold of the bike frame.

“You, get in the truck,” he says to Artemis, “I’ll put this in the back and drive you home.” Then he turns to Wally. “You, leave her alone.”

Artemis wastes no time sliding into the truck’s passenger seat. She places her tire at her feet and puts her backpack and bag over it. Through the rear view mirror, Artemis watches Roy load her bike into the bed of the truck and tell Wally to scram (at least, that’s what it looks like. Reading lips in a mirror is hard, okay?).

“What a freakin’ day,” Artemis mutters to herself as she tries to calm down.

Roy doesn’t say a word when he enters the truck, buckles his seatbelt, and pulls out of the parking lot going well above the 15 miles per hour speed limit. Artemis watches Wally disappear in the side view mirror and it’s then, when she catches a glimpse of herself in the mirror, that she realizes she’s crying. She swipes the few tear tracks on her face out of existence with the back of her hand and wonders just how long she’s been doing that.

“Glove compartment, left side,” Roy instructs her, not taking his eyes off the road.

Artemis opens the compartment in front of her and pulls out a small packet of tissues.

“Thanks,” Artemis says, and she knows Roy knows it’s for more than just the tissues.

“No biggie,” Roy says nonchalantly. “I owed you one.”

He turns up the radio and the hits of the 2000s drown out the sound of her sniffling. The eight minute drive to her house gives Artemis’s just enough time to pull herself together before she sees her mother. When Roy slows to a stop in front of her house, Artemis gathers her bags, tire, and used tissues and gets out of the truck.

“Leave the tire.” Roy sticks his arm out of the open driver’s side window and plucks the tire from her hands. “Oliver and I will put your bike back together this weekend. Do you need rides until then?”

“I- uh- thanks, Roy,” Artemis says, slowly walking backwards towards her front door. “I’ll catch a ride with Conner, though, he lives just down the street. You don’t have to go out of your way.”

“Alright, then,” Roy says, nodding. “Let me know if you change your mind.”

Artemis nods gratefully as Roy closes his window and pulls out into the street to make a U-turn. When he’s out of sight, she unlocks the front door and rushes inside. She makes it about three steps in before her mother looks over from the couch and stops her.

“Artemis,” Paula says, surprised, “you’re home early.”

“I have a lot of homework,” Artemis says quickly, avoiding her mother’s eyes as she slowly walks towards her room. “Super important project. Gotta get it done.”

Paula smiles and nods. “There’s chicken and rice in the kitchen if you’re hungry, but don’t take it to your room.”

“Thanks, Mom. I’ll eat later,” Artemis says, sending her mother a small smile before booking it to her bedroom.

Artemis closes the door to her room behind her and immediately tosses her bag and backpack to the floor. The thin smile she'd given her mother crumbles into a pained grimace as she balls her fists and mentally screams. A new flood of tears blurs her vision and this time she doesn’t bother trying to stop them from falling.

Why did I do this? What was I thinking? Stupid freaking boys and their stupid freaking stupid heads.

She crouches down, opens her backpack, and pulls out the crumpled up note she never passed during history class. She crumples it up some more for good measure before tossing it into the trash can in the corner of the room. It feels really good.

So why stop there?

Artemis reaches deep underneath her bed and pulls her shoebox full of letters into the light. Just looking at the pile of envelopes sends waves of frustration through her bones. She pulls out a thick stack from the box and nearly tears them all in half, but she stops herself just before the edges can rip.

“Fuck– nope, what am I doing?” she says, huffing before she throws the letters back into the box and runs her hands over her face. “Get a grip.”

Sitting on the floor crying in the middle of her room over a boy. What a way to spend the afternoon. Artemis kicks the shoebox away from her. It topples over, spins out, and sends envelopes sliding across the floor. Perfect.

Her cell phone buzzes from inside the front pocket of her backpack, and she doesn’t have to look to know it’s Megan (the Kim Possible theme song vibration pattern is telling enough).

This doesn’t feel right, Artemis thinks to herself, staring at the mess of envelopes in front of her. Her phone keeps buzzing.

Each envelope holds a letter and each letter contains a mixture of digs, jokes, and the occasional sentiment. It isn’t until she sees them scattered on the ground that Artemis realizes that the reason she can’t just tear them to shreds is because they mean something to her. They mean a summer’s worth of waiting for the mailman, a book of stamps, and a friendship she can’t just throw away, no matter how upset she is. Maybe it’s easy enough for Wally to say he doesn’t want to be her friend, but the pile of letters he wrote make it hard for her to just sit down and accept that.

So she won’t. Not like this, sniffling on her bedroom floor. Nope.

Artemis rises and takes a seat on her bed. She takes a deep breath, wipes away the traces of her tears, and decides to return to Plan A.

In the next minute, she gathers all the envelopes, shoves them into the shoebox, walks towards the door, and ignores her still-buzzing phone.

Sorry, Megan, you’re going to have to wait.

Artemis has her hand on the doorknob when a rapid rapping at her window turns her around.

Or not.

“How’d she get here so fast?” Artemis mutters to herself, moving across the room to the window. “I’m coming.”

She sets the box of letters on her bed before she pulls back the curtain and freezes.

The wrong redhead stands before her, flushed and jumpy, holding a piece of paper against the window. Artemis skims the top line–

Your mom wouldn’t let me in so you’re going to have to read this.

– and immediately drops the curtain closed.

Artemis looks back at her backpack, where her phone is still ringing, and thinks she probably should have answered that.

Wally knocks at the window again.

Oh, fuck it.

Artemis exhales softly, shoves open the curtain, and lifts the window up in one motion.

“The window opens, dumbass.”

[betterreadthandeadbookclub]

Review of After You by Jojo Moyes (Spoilers)

After You Review - Warning: SPOILER ALERT

Addie

         First of all, I still feel very ‘eh’ about this book. To quote the great Geneva herself when talking about the new Beauty and the Beast movie “It was the definition of adequate”. I had a lot of issues with the large plot points of this book. After loving Me Before You, I was left with the hope that Louisa was going to be okay after Will, that she was going to live well and boldly. She was going to travel, yes she was going to grieve, but she would have the memories and know that Will was satisfied with his decision.

Lou really disappointed me. Not in how long she grieved or was depressed, because do you really get over something like that? Or does it just become a part of who you are and you live on despite it? Lou was working at an airport bar, hating her job, boss, and uniform. I can just see Will cringing. He’d be saying something like “Are you fucking kidding me, Clark? I literally told you, you only get one life and it’s your duty to live it as fully as possible."

         This Lou feels so different to me. She's lost her large personality, and I'm not sure if that's her grief or just poor writing. Lou was always the girl with a clever comeback and had absolutely no filter. Now it feels like she barely cracks a joke. The whole book was spent with Lou wallowing in self pity and guilt. I kept asking myself "Where the hell is this going?"

         I felt the events in this book were so unnatural and improbable. It came across forced, like drama just for the sake of drama. What are the chances that she falls off a roof, through an awning, and lands on a fucking daybed? AND LIVES? And if that wasn't enough suddenly Will's long lost kid shows up who no one ever knew about. THEN when Lou finally finds a new guy, her paramedic no less, HE GETS SHOT. Honestly this felt more like fan fiction and not work that we know Jojo is capable.

Back to the random kid. Lily is inconsequential to the story, she just brings in the Will aspect for readers. Without her, Lou still would have fallen, survived, gone to her therapy group, met Sam the paramedic, and STILL would have gone to New York without him.

         I felt like this book was really unnecessary, it doesn’t add anything to the original story. On top of that, Jojo recently announced she’s writing a third book, because ‘I’ve always seen it as a trilogy’.JAYSUS. If a second book wasn’t necessary, what the hell is going to happen in this third book?

         Lou gets shot in NY? Hit by a taxi? Gets her green card revoked by a new Executive Order travel ban? Will has another kid no one knows about? Sam dies in a plane crash visiting her? Somehow Lou survives another improbable situation? Because doesn’t SOMETHING have to happen? Otherwise we’d just be reading about Lou changing bed pans and making tea in New York for her new employers. Because there’s a crying need to publish that, I’m sure *eye roll*.

         Ok so this is pretty harsh, but despite that I didn’t entirely hate it. Without comparing the two stories, it’s okay, it just doesn’t compare to Me Before You… like at all.

         Part of my dislike might be that Will simply wasn’t a part of it. It was really hard for me to grasp that this isn’t Will’s story. It also isn’t Lou’s and Will’s story. It’s Lou’s story, and I had a hard time accepting this.

         Let’s be honest, when Jojo publishes the third book, I’ll read it. Because it’s Jojo. But will I enjoy it? Not likely. The only possible way this story was ever meant to be a trilogy was if Jojo stretched out Will’s death until the third book. Then we could get more witty banter, more detail of the short time Lou spent with Will. Maybe then I would actually enjoy all three.

         With the first book, I loved it: I cried, I worshiped it. That’s not the case here, and if I have to think of the journey ending with Me Before You just to sleep at night, I will. I had hope then, I was happy then.

If this feels like a rant, sorry.

BUT! There were a few good things that came out of this reading experience. Louisa’s dad said “Jaysus” at one point in response to climbing too many stairs and it has now become Geneva’s and my own favorite saying and reply during texts. Also- back, crack, and sack- I just can’t. I actually burst out laughing when Lou’s dad said that.

         Anyway… If you loved Me Before You, and read it mainly for Will (like I did), I wouldn’t recommend this sequel. If you weren’t satisfied where the previous book was left, and you want more of Lou after Will, then this is the book for you. Bear in mind- you might not like how she spends her life after him. After You Review - Warning: SPOILER ALERT

Geneva

         I had high hopes for this book, and I am not going to be as harsh as Addie , but I will be honest and say this book is definitely one I wish I skipped. It has its moments, but they were sparse. Overall, I was underwhelmed and slightly annoyed, but I don’t think all readers will feel this way. For instance, if you had experienced a death close to you, maybe you would relate more and appreciate the 75% of the book that was a wallow fest straight from Gilmore Girls. Also, if you are super into the feminist movement, 10% of this book is for you! Go get it girl! Mothers with bratty teenage girls, you get a spot on the team as well-20% (Why you would be reading a young adult novel is another issue). Anyone with a medical personnel fetish, you’re in- 2%. I am attempting to give this book a break, but WHAT WERE YOU THINKING JOJO!

         For anyone that read the first book, it is clear that it ended on a positive note, with Lou in Paris ready to follow in Will’s footsteps and get out of her small town bubble. This however came to a crashing halt as readers stepped into Lou’s current world in After You. Honestly, it was a large amount of complaining, majority being self deprecation, dash of relationship, sprinkle of a bastard child,

hint of bad parenting, and finish it off with the cherry of almost fatal gunshot wounds.

As you can see, this novel is everywhere and nowhere that the audience wanted it to be. I looked at the comments that literary critics gave the book on the back cover (they only put the good ones obviously), and I found a striking number of ones that said it was unexpected. I can appreciate that because it was definitely unexpected, but it wasn’t followed through as well as I hoped. Reminded me of an off brand Fault in

Our Stars without the cancer (there are an overwhelming amount of similarities actually). I mean look at any one of the Bridget Jones books/movies. British. Out of relationship. Lonely. Staying in crappy flat. Not supportive mother. Nice dad. But what is After You missing? A strong influence of Colin Firth-like character (strong, bold) and WITTINESS. Lou lost her character. Her appeal, and unfortunately the book suffered because of it.

I’d like to think I am an average reader that doesn’t take much to be pleased. Little romance, little humor, and an actual plot and I’m ready to go. Though, this seriously felt like they were trying to get more money from their viewership and readers. The book didn’t add a whole heck of a lot to the original story line either. Who knows? Maybe I just had unrealistic expectations like she would be traveling all over, meet some friends (did anyone notice she has none?), find a guy, perhaps get a dog…?

         I can see a third book as well as Addie. After I finished this novel, I called her and said that Moyes will certainly end up breaking up Lou’s relationship, Nathan may come on to her making her quit her job and work at a gas station, she may get mugged, insert bad view of America on top of it. It’s all rather bleak. But hey, no where to go but up I suppose!

         All I know is that I wasn’t impressed, and I guess not a big enough fan to stay with Lou through the thick of it (I did for you guys, you’re welcome) and enjoy it.

Better Read than Dead,

Addie & Geneva