#I RLY THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA DIE I WAS GOING TO LOSE IT

[lotus-pear]

regret

[garoujo]

DATING SIMULATOR — NAGI SEISHIRO

・✶ ｡ﾟnagi kinda wishes he’d played more dating simulators before he thought about confessing to you.

♱ warnings — f!reader, reader is reo’s roommate, friends -> lovers, mutual pining, cunninglingus, creampies, party setting, alcohol mentioned but not consumed, all characters written 22+ wc: 7k / note. finally ! i have written my longest fic 2 d8 n it’s all 4 my bbie boy seishiro ! i rly hope u guys enjoy sob <3 fank yew mosh @/saetoshis 4 reading thru 4 me ilysm !

“oops, a headshot.” nagi mumbles from where he’s lying on his stomach on his bed, feet kicking behind him as his fingers tap carefully at the screen of his phone. he’s not moved in a while, he’ll probably eat soon but hes so close to upping his online ranking he thinks that could maybe wait for another game or two.

“die.” his character fires another few shots before he feels his phone vibrate against his palms, his eyes barely casting the notification a glance before he’s back to focusing on the target infront of him.

reo : i’m throwing a party this weekend, you’re coming.

reo : don’t even think about trying to ditch, i know you’re off practice cause so am i.

nagi groans before he readjusts his elbows, not giving it another thought before he’s back to focusing on his game, continuing the rest of his daily missions as his friend gives him a moments peace before he texts again.

reo : i know you’re getting these, quit ignoring me.

he doesn’t let this one stick around as long as the last ones did before he’s swiping it away from his screen, a small pout settling on his lips when his wavering focus causes him a little more hp than he could afford to lose as he leans closer to his phone.

another few shots, followed by another sharp vibration of his phone before nagi huffs, this message was different than the last and he hates the way this is the one that catches his attention, just as he was about to score another headshot too.

reo : y/n will be there. you gonna leave them to get hit on by someone else?

he guesses reo’s always been persistent. he clears his throat as he lets his drowsy gaze scan over the text at the top of the screen, followed by another sigh when it ultimately costs him the rest of his hp as a game over flashes across the screen.

“ah, i died.. whatever.” nagi murmurs under his breathe as he rolls over onto his back to finally click on the notification, snowy bangs framing his drowsy gaze as he lets himself read over the newest text from reo once more. obviously you’ll be there, you and reo are roommates.

you’d become somewhat of a consistent in his life, you’d sort of slotted into place when he’d met you the first time he visited reo’s new apartment. he doesn’t think you’re a pain to be around, but you rejecting him and not wanting to hang around with him anymore would be.

even with his limited romantic (and platonic) experience, no one despite a few from the team have found his company to be as desirable as you do, and the thought still makes his head spin whenever he thinks too hard about it — about you.

he doesn’t really know why reo even needed a roommate, he had enough money to rent his own place but then.. he wouldn’t have met you if it weren’t for him, nagi thinks before he feels himself cringe at how cheesy he’s being as his fingers hover over the keyboard.

you were pretty and kind, you’re not the sort of person who would ever normally show that sort of interest in somebody like him so he was surprised when you did. you never pushed him for conversation and he can’t deny the way you made something burst and warm along his skin the first time you’d asked to watch him play when it was just you two.

although hes pretty sure reo had left you both alone to go the store deliberately.

you’d started buying in lemon tea and melon bread for the apartment, making sure there was a few of the things he likes just incase he came over to visit — it was nice, unfamiliar but it felt good. like every interaction he had with you was an exp boost closer to a level up.

it’s not like nagi ever planned to act on his feelings, fuck—he’d have completely ignored them altogether if reo wasn’t the one to point them out. saying he acted different when you were around, maybe he did.. he was less focused on his games, actually offered a little more to conversation if you were taking part in it.

was he that obvious? “ah, cringe.” he groans outwardly this time before he allows himself another shuffle around his bed, just until he’s able to stuff his face into the pillows with a grumble before peering back up at the text that’s suddenly mocking him. maybe he should play more dating simulators.

nagi : i’ll pass, sounds like a pain.

reo : goddamit, where’s your ego?

it’s almost too quick the way reo replies to his message, like he knew what he was about to say as he begins to load up his game again — guess that comes with dealing with the “game addict bothersome prince.” but nagi knows he’s never been one to take no for an answer.

—

“i don’t know why you keep pressing this, reo. nothings going to happen.” you sigh as you let yourself rest on your elbows across the kitchen island, your irritated eye-movement bringing your gaze to your amethyst haired roommate across the room, who’s sending you a smug look as he places his phone back down on the table after sending his friend another text.

“maybe it’s cause i know our ultra genius likes you, and you like him! two idiots in love, this is gonna be fun.” reo grins, smirk in place as he watches you roll your eyes and turn away from him, busying yourself with something else in the hopes it’ll end this conversation — it doesn’t. you guess reo’s always been persistent.

“you gotta be there to get him motivated, that’s the deal or else he’ll just get bored and leave.” you click your tongue at his words, sending him another irritated look over your shoulder at the way he’s treating your feelings like some bargaining chip despite the way you know it’s harmless.

“who cares, hes not gonna confess. this is seishiro we’re talking about.” you huff, ofcourse you liked nagi — there was a certain charm to the snowy haired striker than you couldn’t seem to resist, sure he was a little subdued but he was sweet, funny in his own little dorky way and a little stupid in a way that made you wanna see more.

you felt like you’d grown with him as he got more comfortable with you, like everytime you met him he was revealing more of himself to you than the last time you met, he’d even began deliberately sitting in spots that could fit two — opting for the couch rather than the armchair he used to when he visited.

you began to find a certain joy in the things that he enjoyed, and watching him pick up certain habits and interests of yours felt like a sort of reward after how gruelling it was to get him to open up.

but that’s just the sort of person nagi was you realised, and it was sort of nice to see it — to see him, but that’s also why you’re perfectly fine just pining for him like you have been, because why should you risk losing all the progress you’d tried so hard to make, why would you risk losing him?

“hey.” reo grunts, it’s low and just loud enough to demand your attention before he tilts his head slightly at you, raising a brow like he knows he’s just disturbed you from your thoughts. “he’s a pain in the ass but, he’d surprise you, y’know.”

—

what a pain, this is so stupid.. nagi grumbles internally from where he’s standing in front of you and reo’s apartment — he can feel the low thump of the bass through the door and he already feels the urge to just turn on his heels to go home and play video games, but why can’t he?

why is he even here? he asks himself as he lets his fingers pinch around the bangs that frame his face — sighing a little low as he stuffs his other hand into the pocket of his hoodie. he did spend a whole lot of time getting ready, looking in the mirror and thinking about whether you’d like this before he cringed at himself again. this was becoming a bad habit.

“ehhh, this is so tiresome. i just wanna play video games.” nagi hums, but his body betrays him when his words are followed by a knock on the door — one that’s immediately answered by a particularly smug looking reo as he smirks at him.

“look who decided to come, ultra genius.” reo teases, cheeky and nagi sends him a drowsy, steely sort of look in reply, although the exasperation goes unnoticed when his gaze drops and he’s tapping away at his phone, brushing past him to get into the apartment. “you’re so annoying, reo. you made me come.”

“absolutely not! you wouldn’t have came if you didn’t want to.” nagi already feels sweaty and stuffy around the buzzing atmosphere, he’d much rather go home and take a bath but then he sees your little tells around the apartment that tells him you’re here— your jacket, your favourite mug that you always complain about reo drinking out of—and they somehow keep his feet rooted to where he is now.

“eh, it’s just cause your sofa is comfortable. you spend too much money on that stuff.” he’s lying and reo knows it, but he spares him the embarrassment because he’s here — who knows how long for but he’ll take it.

nagi’s always thought it was entertaining the way his bestfriend could entertain a crowd — popular guy thing i guess, he thinks to himself as he sinks deeper into the couch cushions, lower half of his face tucked into the neckline of his oversized hoodie as he sits among the rest of his teammates. not really absorbing any of the information as he tries to discreetly let his eyes wander around the room.

he’s been stuck on the same level for a while, it’s like he can’t entirely focus — blame the slightly intoxicated players or the loud music blasting through the halls of the apartment, or maybe it’s something else — someone else.

reo picks up the shift in nagi’s exterior, watches the way his bestfriend shuffles uncomfortably on the couch between long sighs, fingertips flexing against his phone with what he can assume is another loss and he’d help him out any other time, but this was something he wanted him to do alone — for his own ego, and for you.

the snowy-haired male gives himself a few more hits, a few more revives before it really gets to him — makes him sit up a little straighter as he turns his phone back vertically and opens up his texts, he knows you’re here, but where?

nagi : you at the party? it’s loud, gonna run away now :x

nagi’s cringing at himself when he feels heat burst along his neck, it was just a text to a friend but somehow he can’t help but leave it open to wait for your reply, swallowing thick when he watches the little text bubble appear at the bottom of the screen before it disappears just as quickly.

you : in my room, bored already? you can come in.

he was still a little awkward despite how often you both were in eachothers company, he still got stuck on words and liked to let the silence linger but that was just him and it was never uncomfortable. but now he’s going to be alone with you, in your room and he can feel his heart kick at his chest at the thought.

nagi gives it a few seconds, not wanting to seem too eager before he’s biting on the inside of his cheek and stuffing his hands into his pockets as he stands. reo notices, raising a brow in question — wordlessly, although they’ve been friends long enough for him to pick up on it.

“bathroom.” he doesn’t know why he’s too nervous to say where he’s actually going, his answer is falling from his lips before his brain has time to catch up. but reo gives him a look, one that tells him he’s not quite convinced as he fails to hide the soft, knowing smirk of amusement that’s twitching at the corners of his lips. “i’ll allow it.”

nagi’s body feels like it moves on instinct as it carries him through the long stretch of apartment, allowing the warm air from the party to roll over his features as he passes by teammates and people he’s never even seen before.

but he’s struck with a sudden wave of anticipation and nerves when he finally stands outside your bedroom door, arm raised to knock despite the way he’s almost frozen still — he’d probably look really weird if someone was to see him creeping outside of your room right now, that’d be such a pain if people thought he was even weirder.

“you can come in, sei.” you call with the first wrap of his knuckles along the wood, and the sweet ring of your voice feels like it shoots electricity into nagi’s stomach with how it drips through him at first. but then he exhales as he enters, and the tension in his body somehow softens when he takes in his first look at you.

he thinks you’re too pretty for your own good, he can still see the outfit you must’ve had on for the party underneath the blanket that’s draped over you now with your laptop resting on your lap. you’re a sight that makes him swallow rough as he lets his drowsy gaze flicker over you, although the leap in his chest is a sort of effect you’ve always had on him.

“you lasted longer than i expected.” nagi notices the way your sentence trails off at the end, he hears the whispery, breathy, pouty sound your lips make as you lean back against the bedframe and pat the space next to you — urging him to come closer as a grin twitches at your lips and he feels his heart race.

“eh, was such a drag anyway.” he sounds tired but his voice is still as smooth as it always is when he speaks to you, not that you notice any difference but his reply still makes you laugh softly as he takes his first careful step into your space.

every stride he takes feels bigger than usual until your eyes raise up to look at him from where he’s stood at the edge of the bed, and he lets himself press his bangs between his fingers awkwardly before he’s falling into his place beside you with a huff.

“wow, mattress feels so good. way comfier than mine.” nagi murmurs and you fail to suppress a little smirk at his words, making his cheeks burn pink at the feeling of your eyes suddenly cutting into him, and he feels his heart race when the mattress dips under your weight as you get comfortable.

“it was reo’s old one, that’s why it’s so comfy. it was probably stupid expensive.” he mentally trails off with a nervous swallow before he’s fishing his phone out of his pocket. he only offers you a low hum in response as he tries to take his mind off the fact you’re both on the same fucking mattress right now, and he suddenly feels too incredibly warm under his clothes.

there’s a bout of silence and nagi can feel his heart kicking at his ribs with every beat, nervously glancing you up and down whenever he feels you shuffle in your place next to him before his eyes are back on his phone — although not really paying much attention to the cutscene that plays.

“do you wanna watch something?” you ask, the question drawn out and slow as you flick through the netflix menu on your laptop screen, and it’s hard for him not to get lost in the dreamy drawl your voice takes as it draws him closer. he clears his throat as he leans in, letting his eyes flicker over the screen with every press of your fingers against the mousepad before he answers.

“hm, nah. whatever you wanna watch ‘s fine. i’m just gonna play games.” nagi’s voice takes a more whispery tone, he blames it on the suddenly close proximity that only seems to get closer when he rests himself back. he’s suddenly able to feel the press of your body into his side with the way the mattress has sunk beneath you both, and hes pretty sure his mind scrambles at the touch.

he can smell hints of your perfume on your sheets and he’s watching you like every move you make is enchanting, making his fingers twitch against his phone screen before he’s kicking his feet under the comforter that’s thrown haphazardly half way down — he might aswell be comfortable.

but you don’t say anything back to him, you just tilt your head to the side with a pretty little pout as your fingers curl against the mouse pad again, before you’re clicking some random movie nagi’s pretty sure you’ve both seen a few times already.

he clears his throat again when he feels you sit back beside him, scooting closer unintentionally while his eyes narrow on the cutscene he’s still got playing on his screen and you push back gently into your place. but he can feel his focus wavering with the warm press of your skin against his side again, and he has to remind himself how to breathe — how the hell is he supposed to win this game?

“we’ve seen this. don’t you get bored watching it again?” he begins, trying so desperately to focus on fucking anything other than how close you are to him right now. but then your drawl vibrates through the room and nagi swears he feels it in his gut when you turn to send him an adorable little pout over your shoulder.

“no, cause then i know when the good parts are coming up.” you’re so fucking close, he thinks as you share a long look and his head tilts with a sigh despite the way his lips curl into a soft smile, making one of your own break through your features.

“ehhhh, that’s so stupid, then there’s no surprises to look forward to — you’ve ruined all the best parts already.” nagi drawls, and his body feels like it burns when you blink at his words before you laugh. the sound does horrible things to his heart, makes his fingers shaky, but he hides it well when he sees your little smug smirk.

“i thought you were just gonna play games.” you reply quickly, tilting your head back to tease him and he lets his sleepy gaze trail along the newly exposed skin of your neck, making his own flare hot and it takes him a while to respond, but he does.

“‘cause your movies too loud ‘nd you’re making me lose — it’s such a pain. ah, see.. i died.” there’s a fire in the room that almost consumes you both when your grin twitches at nagi’s teasing and your eyes stare into his as he looks over you, carefully blank despite the pink that dusts his cheeks and the sweating of his palms, his racing heart drowning out any other sounds as you both take a breath.

“seishiro..” you whisper and the soft, careful sound of your voice makes him feel like he suddenly can’t get quite enough air with each breath. he makes a weak sound when he feels you suddenly cling at him, tugging him in for a kiss as he leans into meet you, sighing when he finally allows himself to taste you for the first time before he hears your laptop close and move from your lap a few moments later.

it’s short, too short when you both pull away but you don’t put more distance between you both than what already remains — your breathing fans over his cheeks and he feels the way your legs shuffle closer, knocking against his and he wants nothing more than to feel his skin on yours.

nagi feels a pang for his anxieties, sighing softly in an attempt to swallow down any concerns when he leans in again to brush his lips against yours once more. he feels your hand press against his chest and he half expects you to push him away, but you only pull him closer and he’s pretty sure you can probably feel the race of his heart even underneath his hoodie.

“seishiro..” you gasp again, it sounds different this time — a plea as you breathe deep with him but it lets him push his tongue between your lips before his hands reach out for you, exploring over the swell of your hips before he’s pushing himself onto his side to loom over you and pull you underneath him.

it’s almost immediate the way nagi feels your limbs wrap around him as he kisses you, it’s deep and messy, your fingers tangling in his hair as your thighs wrap around his hips to pull him closer and he bathes you in kisses that press you into the pillows he eases you back into.

that’s all you do for a while, let yourself be showered in the mindless press of his lips against yours — in the stroke of his large palms up your thighs and hips, squeezing at the skin before it’s accompanied with a stuttered roll of his cock into you that has him murmuring out a trembling apology.

“pretty thing..” nagi whispers, holding your waist as the kiss disconnects wet and his nose traces your cheek, steely gaze lidded when he pulls back to give you a look through his now even more mused bangs. “fuck, wanna give you more.. ‘s this okay?” he should’ve asked earlier, he realises with bated breath but then you arch with need — palming at his clothes with a sweet little plea that drives him fucking crazy and he thinks he might actually pass out.

you watch the way he gnaws on his lower lip before he leans in to continue kissing you, the hem of your skirt slinking up with his wrists as they smooth up your hips again, pushing the fabric up higher until it’s pooling around your waist and he groans at the heat he feels burst along his heavy, clothed cock.

nagi presses himself deeper into you as his large palms trail higher, taking a slow, languid handful of your tits from the outside before he curls his fingers around the flesh — squeezing softly until you’re whimpering and moaning against his mouth with every swipe of his thumb over the sensitive, firm flesh of your nipples through the fabric.

“does it feel good? wanna hear more of you—gimme even more, angel.” his voice cracks under the weight of his arousal as he feels the way your tits move beneath his palms, feeling you dig your head back against the pillows when every flick of his fingers is accompanied with another slow grind of his cock against your clothed pussy.

“need more, seishiro. i want you!” a ragged sound leaves you as nagi swallows it eagerly, swiping his tongue along yours before his hands are pulling at the low neckline of your shirt — pushing it down lower until it’s tucked under your tits and he breathes deep at the feeling of the new, intimate skin that’s suddenly bare for him to explore.

“hm? be patient w’ me, gotta make you feel good first.” he groans as he eases himself away from your lips, smearing soft kisses along your cheeks and jawline until hes making his way between the valley of your breasts and hes sending you a needy look from your chest.

you gasp with the first messy drag of his tongue along your hard nipple, his palm pressing deep into the other as he leaves careful, wet kisses along your sensitive skin with a whimper. “see, sure sounds like it feels good. wanna hear more of ‘em.. please?“ nagi breathes as he laps and slurps at your tits, tracing kisses along your skin to give the other just as much attention before his huge body is trailing even lower.

his warm fingers dig into the aching flesh of your thighs as his lips press onto your abdomen, swirling and dragging his tongue along the skin as he pushes up your shirt — a flush high on his cheeks with the uncomfortably, mindless throb in his cock that’s leaking against his sweats, but he needs more — not yet.

“gotta taste you, pretty thing.” nagi murmurs against your skin, hands careful when they trace along your thighs to carefully hook underneath your panties — sliding them down just as he leaves a suckled, messy kiss against your hip.

“hurry up already, want your mouth.” you whisper as you lift your head up to watch the way nagi leans back onto his knees over you, pulling down the flimsy fabric until it’s hanging around one of your ankles. he lets himself rest back down on his stomach to throw your thighs over his shoulders with a long sigh, huge body keeping your thighs spread wide as his breath fans over your slick folds.

“eh, no fair. gotta gimme a sec — wanna take my time w’ you.” he murmurs, his tone carrying the same lazy drawl as always despite the edge of desperation that makes you burn. he feels his whole body shiver with the first press of his lips against your cunt — easing past your folds to tease your clit as your thighs twitch around his cheeks, making his cock throb from where it’s pressed against the mattress.

“yum, pretty thing.” nagi drawls absentmindedly as he peers up at you through heavy eyes, curling his tongue around your pussy before he’s dragging it up higher to flick it over your clit — suckling at the bud softly as he watches you wiggle and twitch in time with his movements.

the way your fingers are twisting in his hair only urges him to press himself deeper into you, he already feels mindless on the taste of you as he groans against your folds. the low tone of his voice sending blissful vibrations straight through your clit as he gives your pussy another messy, eager lap with his tongue.

it’s so eager the way nagi’s drinking you up, like he’s pouring in the months of pining, eagerly giving himself up to you as he smacks and slurps at your slick, hoping it translates better than his words ever could. “oh, god—sei! fuck—“ he feels the way you’re dripping down his cheeks, almost babbling as he buries himself even deeper into you until his hips twitch with want, cock throbbing with the friction the small thrust grants him as he trembles.

your fingers twitch from where they’re twisting in his hair and the searing pain only makes him feel drunker on the taste of you, pressing his tongue against the entrance of your cunt before he’s groaning at the first needy squeeze your walls welcome him with.

you twitch when you feel the muscle graze past the sensitive nerves, his nose grinding against your clit with every eager swipe and smack as nagi pulls more needy, breathless sounds from your lips — dragging the orgasm out of you as his palms press into the underside of your thighs to push you wider.

but he doesn’t think he ever wants to stop when he feels the next breathless croon of his name fall from your lips like honey, the thump of the bass and the distant chatter from the party a wall over completely swallowed up by the ringing in his ears and the throb of his cock.

you let yourself pull at nagi’s hair and he fucking groans with how good he feels, eyes fluttering closed as his lashes kiss along his flushed cheeks. he lets you guide him back to where you need him most and he hums before he’s hooking his tongue around your clit once more, feeling the way the bud has grown firmer, more sensitive when he’s twisting and laving it in licks that you meet with eager, intoxicating twitches of your hips.

“fuck—‘m gonna cum, sei. ah—you’re gonna make me cum!” you gasp as you both breathe deep and his fingertips feel like they burn you as they squeeze into your skin, pulling you deeper into his mouth as he trails his tongue underneath the hood of your clit and closes his lips around it.

nagi suckles languidly as he rewards himself with another needy rock of his hips into the mattress, his movements stuttering with the way his cock fucking aches for the friction—for you, as you grind down onto his tongue, letting him bathe your pussy in mindless licks and rolls of the wet muscle.

“mmm, fuck— i’ll take it, princess. gimme it.” he babbles and you fucking tremble, his moans muffled against your slick folds as you feel warm bliss curl and lick down your spine with every eager roll of your hips.

you’re chasing the warmth you feel twist and heat in your abdomen and nagi’s just as eager to pull it out of you when you finally stiffen, pulling him deeper as your hips twist and your orgasm suddenly rolls over you in blissful waves that rock through you.

you hear him whine, long and low, with the first taste of your cream against his tongue as he slurps and drinks you up greedily — flattening his tongue against your folds before he’s bathing you in long licks, only stopping when you’re twitching from overstimulation and pushing him away with a whine.

nagi’s flushed to his chest when he pulls away to kneel between your thighs, cheeks to his chin glistening with your juices and he’s sweating hard underneath his hoodie with every shaky breath. the snowy peaks of his hair frame his features beautifully as he casts you a needy glance, and he shifts uncomfortably with the now embarrassingly obvious bulge that’s tenting his sweats as he tries to fix it slightly. “eh, cringe.”

“want me to do you?” you ask earnestly and he swears he feels his heart knock at his chest at the question, sending you a lazy, starry-eyed look that was almost too cute for the 190cm striker between your thighs.

if he’s being honest he wants nothing more but it’s dangerous, he’s already wound up tight from the taste of you — cock throbbing almost painfully where it’s smearing against his thigh. he wouldn’t be able to hold himself back, not with your warm throat hugging and squeezing around him.. he needs to be smart about this.

“nah, ‘ts fine.. just wanna feel all of you, pretty thing.” nagi grunts, voice wavering with the unsteadiness of his breath and underneath the weight of his arousal, his need.

“another time then?” oh now that really gets him, you’re already thinking about a next time with a slacker like him? another throb and choked whimper dies in his throat and fuck— if you keep looking at him like that he might just cum where he kneels right now.

nagi reminds himself to exhale before he replies, before he chokes and splutters on his words, and he follows it with an internal little yay in his mind before he speaks. “yeah, can owe me one then i guess.”

you’re still trembling from your orgasm when he leans down to kiss you, crawling back over you before you’re pulling at the hem of his hoodie to grasp at more of the muscle underneath. “is this glued to you, sei? take it off.” you giggle, lips still leaking with pretty little whimpers for him, and the small grin he sends you when he leans back to pull the fabric over his head makes you pulse.

“hey— don’t make fun ‘f me, ‘ts comfy.” nagi sighs with the sudden freedom he feels from the loss of the heavy fabric, shuddering when he feels your hands reach to explore his physique — feeling the hard, trained muscle flex under your palms when he feels your skin press tight against his.

“see, better.” you laugh again breathlessly, but it’s not mocking — it’s warm and comforting and accompanied by a smile that makes his cock jump, especially when it’s followed by your arms wrapping around his shoulders to pull him in for another kiss.

nagi lets himself look at you, heavy lids and parted lips as the kiss breaks wet and he feels your fingers trail down to his sweats, tugging at the waistband. he swallows thick when you pull down the restrictive fabric to let his heavy cock spring free — making him exhale with the sudden sexual freedom he feels as the cool air fans over the sensitive nerves.

he lets his palm rest against the inside of your thigh as he pulls back to loom over you, letting his hand wrap around the base of his cock before he’s giving himself a few rough strokes with his palm — twitching as he swallows the whimper that threatens to pour from his lungs.

“got way more for you, pretty thing. can do more than this.“ nagi’s voice catches as he hugs you closer, letting the blunt head of his cock swipe through your folds as his breathing hitches. he’s internally cringing at the effect you have on him already, his balls already feel so fucking tight, aching for release as he rubs your slick all over his cock.

he feels his cock throb in his hold when it catches against the flexing entrance to your pussy, urging him inside before he begins to sink into you with heavy breathes — resting his face in the crook of your neck as he buries soft, whimpered curses into your skin.

it almost hurts how deep it feels like nagi reaches, he’s long and thick, but he’s warm and it lights a fuse that fizzles into something that’s even better as it bursts along your skin — making his toes and fingers curl when he feels your pussy squeeze down on him eagerly, rewarding the stretch of his cock the deeper he goes.

you feel his large hands grope just a little too hard into your waist, making him stutter out a low whimper as he drags you along his cock — forcing your walls to spread open for him as he feels something ache deep in his stomach. there’s desire heavy in each laboured breathe he takes as he tries to keep a firm grip on his sanity now he’s finally wrapped in you.

“sure feels good, angel. fuck— how’s that fair? g’nna make me cum already.” nagi breathes, low and ragged, and you can only find it in yourself to reply with a sound that’s high pitched and needy when you finally feel the weight of his hips press tight against yours as he bottoms out.

“mmm, fu-uck..” his voice sounds needier than he expects and his eyes flutter closed when he finally pulls his hips back after a few moments, drawing his cock out of you as he feels the way your pussy squeezes down around him tight in response.

it’s like you’re trying to lure back in every inch you lose — begging nagi to press deeper into you before his fingers dig bruises into your hips and he’s doing just that, beginning a steady pace with another slow withdrawal and a staggered breath.

the first real, deep kiss of his cock has your toes curling as he hugs you closer — his face rests just over the crook of your neck so you can hear the way he pants and growls softly between your moans, smearing kisses against your cheek everytime he turns to take in the sight of you beneath him.

nagi feels mindless when your hips grind up to meet every heavy thrust, the pace hes set isn’t fast but the force behind it is — driven by the flex of his thighs and abdomen as his strong grasp keeps you in place. it felt nice to put in effort like this, for you — spurred on by the sweet sounds that break from your throat, your voice taking a dreamier lull than hes used to — it’s more needy, more intoxicating.

your body claps against his as he kisses over your skin, lips gliding along your heightened nerves so softly it has you twitching — squeezing down around him until his breathing hitches and it’s almost like he feels the tight hug of your cunt in his fucking lungs.

“you feel good.. dammit, i don’t wanna stop.” nagi’s words are emphasised by a particularly slow grind, grazing his pelvis against your swollen clit until you’re jolting at the small aftershock that races through you — still sensitive from your orgasm as his cock digs out the next.

he feels your nails grab at his shoulders, no doubt leaving pretty crimson marks along the muscle there before his pace inevitably speeds up. he’s gripping so tight into your hips he’ll surely leave bruises as he gives more to you — more than he ever has to anyone else as you bask in the pleasure only he brings you and give back all that you can.

nagi buries himself back into the crook of your neck with the next sinful squeeze of your walls around him — making his hips stutter as he buries another ragged whimper into your skin. he repositions his knees to begin a pace that’s a little faster, needier until each smack of his hips is loud and clapping and every quick thrust leaves you breathless, beginning to lose his pace as he presses deep into your body.

“gimme what i need, angel. fuck—can gimme another one. c’mon.” he gulps, words like his own plea as he lets his fingers trace between your bodies to roll your puffy clit in sticky circles, pairing it with the back and forth stutter of his hips as he digs your orgasm out of you — breathing hard when he feels your pussy throb around him.

“mhm, can give you another, fuck! gonna cum again, sei..” you cry for him and nagi groans low as his hips press snug and tight against yours with the first milking compression of your walls around his cock. he’s panting against your neck as he coaxes and eases you through another mind-numbing orgasm, the pleasure hitting you so hard and good it almost hurts as you cream around him.

“fuck, pretty thing. g’nna make me cum, lemme give it to you.” he doesn’t stop even when you’re panting and gasping with each shockwave of bliss he fucks through you, feeling his cock finally throb inside of your soaked pussy as he gives into the needy coax of your body — rewarding you with the orgasm you’ve earned from him, the one you own.

nagi pulls away to kiss you as he cums, whining long and low against the soft press of your lips as he cums thick and heavy inside of you, shuddering when he feels your tongue push against his and he almost pins you completely underneath him as he continues to fuck into your sensitive pussy.

you both bask in the drowsy, sleepy storm that follows after as his larger body blankets you — only rolling off of you when you tap your palm against his back to make sure he’s not actually fallen asleep where he is right now.

but nagi lets his arm rest underneath your head as he rolls onto his side to look at you, his gaze still cloudy from pleasure but barely visible behind the mess of slightly sweaty bangs that fan over his features. the sight of him only seems to draw you closer, and he encourages you to cuddle up next to him as his arm curls around you.

“‘m sweaty and sleepy.. i wanna take a bath, but don’t wanna leave yet.” he grumbles, still breathless as his free hand covers over his eyes — pinching at the hair that hangs there as you both catch your breath. he’s a little nervous if he’s honest, maybe you’re about to be hit with some post-nut clarity and kick him out.

but then you laugh suddenly, a breathy sound as you pant softly with him and nagi’s lips threaten to curl into a smile at the sound, feeling you pat at his chest before you answer him. “you’re literally an athlete.” you tease, like nothings changed — your palms still warm where it presses into his skin and his heart still races when his eyes meet yours.

“zombie nagi.” he sighs and you start laughing even harder before you lean closer to press a kiss against his cheek — making him tilt his face away from you to try and hide the blush that hasn’t left him since he came into the room. “you’re a weirdo.”

“yeah i get that a lot.” nagi whispers, heart thudding in his chest underneath your hand and you grin as you pet across his pectorals before turning to press a kiss along his bicep that pillows you.

“i like it though.” you nod as you nuzzle into the skin and he leans in to rest his lips against your temple before he speaks this time, a casual little act of intimacy that makes him sigh happy with the press of your body against his as he pulls you closer. “thanks.”

you both lie like that for a few more seconds, content with the feeling of being wrapped in eachother before nagi feels his phone vibrate from underneath one of the pillows, groaning when he reaches around for it before giving his screen a lazy, lidded look.

reo : you get lost on the way to the bathroom? i better not have to pay off the neighbours cause of noise complaints.

“what a pain, maybe we should go to my apartment. ‘ts less bothersome there.”

© 2022 garoujo. please do not copy any of my layouts or writing and translate or repost onto any other sites.

[fyodior]

FLORA please . . . thinking abt dazai n fedya locked up together makes mi think of a threesome w them 🤭 how rough do u think they would be :O r they fighting over who gets to fuck ur pretty cunny ! ! giv mi all da deets teheheh :3

coco!! hmmmm ok i've been thinking a lot abt this hehehe sorry for how long it got 🤭

okey this could go so many different ways i could write an actual dissertation but. im going to come at this as if u are fyodor's lover hehehe

so. fedya is typically very gentle and sweet with his lover, esp in bed (unless you ask for otherwise) but... he hates dazai, and would rather die than let him have anything of his, especially u. so if u somehow stumbled into a threesome with them, it would be a lot djfjsjdj the way i see it happening is dazai purposely pushing all of fyodor's buttons abt how beautiful and sexy you are and how bad he wants you, probably taunts fyodor and says that he doesn't satisfy you ,,, and usually fedya can ignore dazai easily but when it comes to u and saying some shit like that he absolutely loses his SHIT and is like you're gonna watch and see how good i fuck her, how she falls apart over my cock

and he's very right!!! u do you def do. plus you've always thought dazai was kinda sexy so u agree to go along with their stupid game

so it starts out as just u and fedya while dazai watches, likely starting out w just missionary/ nearly mating press. he immediately jumps to what he knows makes you whine and moan the most, like fucking u right at the angle he knows feels the best, not too slow but not too fast, hips meeting flush with yours as he massages your clit and presses sweet kisses all over your face and lips. bc to him, this isn't just abt showing dazai how good the sex is, anyone can make sex feel good, he wants to rub it in his face too how much u just fucking love him and want him to be inside u not just cuz of how heavenly it feels, but bc u need to be that close to him. dazai fists his angry red cock, massaging himself to the sounds of your whimpers and cries and just how hot u look getting fucked.

when fyodor spills his cum inside you is when he decides its ok for dazai to take u next, smirking bc now he has to deal with the fact that he'll be fucking fyodor's cum right into you. u cant lie tho, dazai is really fucking talented. he's taking you from the back, ass high in the air as he shoves his desperate, needy, neglected cock so deep inside you it kisses your cervix and makes ur eyes roll back in your head. dazai is kinda losing it himself, absolutely mesmerized by the way ur cunt stretches and pulls with each thrust of his cock, the cream that's dripping down ur thighs and gathering onto his length. fyodor's the one watching now, irked that dazai's making you moan but is confident enough to know he could never be as good. he can't stay away for too long tho, sidles up next to u as dazai continues to fuck u as he sticks his hand in between ur thighs to rub your clit and suck on your nipples, and to say you were overstimulated was an understatement. your senses were so overloaded and on fire as they both had their way with you, but goddamn did it feel fucking amazing. it was the best orgasm you had had in a long time.

one of the hard and fast rules fyodor set was that dazai was by NO means allowed to cum inside u, and if he did it would result in very unsightly consequences. dazai doesn't rly listen to rules but he knew fyodor did not fuck around when it came to u. so he settles for flipping you over so he can cum all over ur tummy, using his fingertips to spread the seed all over you and squeeze your breasts. fyodor slaps his hands away. ur incredibly out of breath and fucked out at this point, a tiny bit of drool pooling at the edge of your mouth as you tried to catch ur breath, but things weren't over yet.

dazai wanted to know what ur mouth felt like, and weirdly, fyodor was ok with that. let him experience how good you suck dick and have to live knowing that fyodor is the only one who'll ever get to experience that. sat on fyodor's lap with your back to his chest now, his cock buried deep inside you as a reminder of who u rly belong to, dazai is sat on his knees next to you so you can suck him off. now he's the one whimpering and moaning as you take him into your mouth and skillfully use your lips and tongue to give him the best head of his life, and fyodor only smirks as he watches and feels u very slowly rising and falling on his own cock, subconsciously chasing the familiar feeling. and with a good massage of dazai's balls, he's cumming down your throat with a hearty groan -- he almost immediately gets hard again when he watches u swallow every single drop easily, licking ur lips afterwards with a smile.

in the end, fedya is right. dazai would forever be jealous that fyodor is the only one who ever got to have you. and that's how i think a threesome would go :)

[celaenaeiln]

12 am anon here. okay so uh we havent talked about it cause i rly dunno how to tell them “yeah i think ur rly cute and i love it when you ramble abt the things you like and sometimes i do wanna kiss u” . anyways what songs do u think are dick grayson coded

personally some that come to mind are surface pressure from encanto, bad idea right and brutal by olivia rodrigo, and nerves by dpr ian. spring day by bts specifically when it comes to donna and wally and all his other dead loved ones

*older post I'm getting to now, 12 am anon and girlfriend are happily together, I just needed time to collate a list*

But that aside, you are literally the cutest. You make me so happy every time ;)

Surface Pressure, Bad Idea Right, and Brutal are all spot on!

I'd never heard Nerves before but now I've listened to it on repeat

Spring Day (eng ver) hadn't even entered my mind but now it won't get out.

Honestly all of Taylor Swift's and Olivia Rorigo's songs match Dick so perfectly

Orange are feel goods/exciting/dramatic story creation types

Blacks are sad/meloncholy/reflection songs about the darker side

I guess this is a Dick Grayson playlist.

Songs-

Come Hang Out by AJR - The Titans with Dick

You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring - self-explanatory.

Warriors of the Mind

You're on your own kid

This kpop song (anon knows, you might too)

My Version of You by Beth Crowley - reminded me of Tim and Dick's relationship when they fought during Dick's Batman era

Stop you're losing me by Taylor Swift - matches Dick fighting with Bruce

Unstoppable by Sia - reminds me of how the entire Superhero community relies on Dick and how he reacts in response

Let the Games Begin by AJR - is Dick constantly acting and ready for attention. Dick dealing with Gotham high society

Whatever It Takes by Imagine Dragons - embodies him in his entirety. If there's one song that defines him, it's this for me.

Toxic Thoughts by Faith Marie - Him struggling with his insecurities of breaking his own records

Welcome to the Show by Britt Nicole - Robin Dick being a little psycho and taking his team on an adventure

The First One by Astrid S - careful. It's about Nightwing (1996) Issue #134. Not sure if it can be considered canon or not, it's a gray area for me

Leader of the Landslide by The Lumineers - Basically Dick's reaction to Bruce abandoning him with all the kids and him being protective of them. Relates to Gotham War most clearly but always

Fire by Gavin Degraw - Dick's bamfness and journey

Christmas Kids by Roar - Here comes Bruce's messed up attachment issues to Dick

Million to One by Camila Cabello - Dick's perfectionist issues and dreams of being greater

If You Go Down ( I'm Going Down Too) by Kelsea Ballerini - Dick and Donna's ride or die relationship.

Don't Think Just Run by Beth Crowley - Dick, leadership, and the superheroes' reliance on him

Labour - Dick hypothically getting tired of Bruce dumping every single thing on him

Panic Room by Au/Ra - Scarecrow telling Dick in Knight Terrors that his fear may be the scariest fear of them all. I'm just imagining everyone getting trapped in Dick's head and being forced to face his fear. That would be such a fun story to write.

Rise by Katy Perry - Dick will always overcome and thrive.

Edge of Glory by Lady Gaga - Dick with the Titans just as they score a major victory

Human by Christina Perri - Dick asking for a reprieve (in his head)

Human by Krewlla - Same but sadder

Dress by Charlotte Sands - Other people falling in love with Dick

Gold Rush by Taylor Swift - How other people fall in love wiht Dick told through the eyes of Barbara or Kori

Heart of Stone by Six the Musical - Dick's unwavering love for Bruce

Achilles Come Down by Gang of Youths - Dick is Achilles.

Geronimo by Sheppard - Silver Age Teen Titans era except it's all of them.

Circus by Britney Spears - C'mon. He's performer born for the spotlight.

Je vole by Louane - Dick's message to Bruce about him leaving

Je vais t'aimer by Louane - The intensity of Dick's love that sometimes leaves his lovers entralled, breathless, and scared.

Location by AJR - Dick reaching out to someone (not necessarily romantic)

Bird Set Free by Sia - Dick lives for himself and his morals. He lives for peace.

She Sets the City on Fire by Gavin Degraw - Other people's point of view of Dick

Dark Paradise by Lana Del Rey - Dick's grief and mourning for Bruce's passing

Wonderland by Taylor Swift - Roy and Dick's relationship

Head Above the Water by Avril Lavigne - Dick being the superhero community's rock and leadership.

Nightmare by Halsey - Dick's a little wild but that's the reason he's still alive. This is just him going after Blockbuster.

Graveyard by Halsey - Dick literally keeping Bruce from destroying himself

The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy - Just Dick raising super powered team after team and yanking everyone onto their feet

Pompeii by Bastille - Dick's perspective after the bombing of Bludhaven

The entire sour album by Olivia Rodigro - To describe Dick and Bruce after Bruce fired him

Troublemaker by Olly Murs - How literally none of his exes can let him go

Issues by Julia Michaels - Dick and Kori's relationship

See You Again by Wiz Khalifa and Charlie Puth - Dick and the Titans

Monster by Eminem and Rihanna - The amount of times people have told Dick he was crazy and he laughed and did it anyway

Superhero by Simon Curtis - Teen Titans Dick

Thunder by Imagine Dragons - Dick always takes charge of himself and his own destiny

A Million Dreams, the Greatest Showman - It literally sounds like Dick's inner thoughts to make Gotham a better place

Brave by Sara Bareilles - It's reminiscent of Dick's speech to Conner

Secrets and Lies by Death Note the Musical - This is Outsiders Dick Grayson to a T

Playing His Game by Death Note the Musical - This is how Dick solves all his crimes and mysteries

Drinking alone by Carrie Underwood - Ric Grayson

[whichcouldmeannothing]

minnie's Very Good icemav fic rec list!

icemav is such a massive ship but its hard to find fics for it :((

so here are some i liked :))

(this list isnt definitive i have not read a lot, i know there are good ones I missed pls tell me If u have any good recs!!)

fics by @boasamishipper

when i see your face (oneshot, 1k+)

In which Maverick Mitchell wakes up from surgery, high on painkillers, and hits on his husband.

sweet! very cute! maverick rly is a dumb dumb boy

Word on the Street (oneshot, 1k+)

Sharon looks down at her wedding ring and says a prayer for the handsome Navy pilot that’s heading their way. He’s got no idea what he’s in for. / Or, Iceman and Maverick versus the Real Housewives of Fallon, Nevada.

look i also know nth about housewives but this is adorable and hilarious and sometimes we need an outsider pov, est relationship btw!

baby, baby i'd get down on my knees for you (co-written with @academicgangster or simplecoffee on ao3, multi-chapter, 18k)

Or, the Wooing of Iceman Kazansky by a Very Smol Mr. Darcy

(Five times Maverick proposed to Iceman, and one time Iceman accepted.)

OH M,YGOD YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THIS FIC MAKES ME LOSE MY MIND AN DIE AND CRY AND ITS SO SWEET AND ADORABLE AND I MISS THEM SM HGBGKLDS

between the lines of fear and blame (oneshot, 1k+)

Out of all the things Maverick had expected to eventually kill him — getting caught in someone’s jetwash, being shot out of the sky, his plane’s engine exploding — getting shot by one of his students in a civilian bar didn’t even make the top ten.

He never expected Ice to take a bullet for him, either.

There's a first time for everything.

extreme whump extreme, most icemav fics hurt mav and i think mav deserves a little better. just a little. this is good also

fics by @susiecarter

and gamble for the sun (one-shot, 1k+)

It's like this: Maverick and the Iceman make bets, sometimes.

OH MY GODDD OH MY GOD THE TENSION THE IDIOTS IDIOT OT LIKE 3K ITSLOVELY AND SO SO GOOD PERFECT TENSION AND EVERYTHING (in my notes I wrote that they write rly good summaries I just wanted to tell you that)

A Shared Cup (one-shot, 7k+)

It was only a training exercise.

It was only supposed to be a training exercise.

hard 2 exp but its a soulbond au and I LOVE THOSE I LOVE THOSE I LOVE THOSE READ THIS NOW AND GO INSANE W ME

fics by @compacflt

this isnt like a thing about the fics but on ao3, the profile says commander of the pacific fleet (wouldn't that be hilarious if the actual compacflt were on ao3? national security hazard) and that's possibly the funniest thing I've read today

Easier Said Than Done (100k+, series)

"So you just wanna be the best at everything, huh?"

"Yes," Kazansky says seriously, then, confused, squints at him. "Don't you?"

"Of course not," Maverick says. "I just wanna be the bestpilot."

"Huh," says Kazansky, wondering if there's a difference betweenMaverickandMitchell. "Maybe you shoulda stayed at TOPGUN, then."

(Or: Tom Kazansky rises through the ranks while trying to stay a good man. If he ever was one to begin with.) (When We Get Around To Talking About It, 65k+)

"We can start here, I guess. If we're talking about us," Pete says. "Nineteen-eighty-six. The first thing I thought, when I saw you in that O-club, was: Iceman isoff-limits.Capital O, capital L."

Despite himself, despite the fear, Tom laughs a little. "Oh, yeah? Why's that?"

"Well, first off, we were competition. And yeah, you were attractive, but then you opened your mouth and I swear. You were just an asshole. Goose is trying to introduce you to me and here I am thinking about how much of an asshole you are. Shut up about Cougar, asshole."

"It was supposed to be a friendly competition!"

"Yeah, right. So that's what I was thinking: he's attractive, clearly doesn't know how to talk to other men, might be into the proposition if I framed it the right way. But he's an asshole, so this competition is just gonna befriendly." Pete pauses. Then he says, "Ice, you wanna get married?"

And that's how they start talking about it.

(Or: they finally get around to talking about it. And Maverick's got a couple extra memories.) (Debriefing (& Other Stories), 60k+)

look its rly long. but this whole series is wonderful. if ican ever print out one top gun fic to have and to hold irl I would buy more paper and print both of these ones. absolutely lovely and it doesn't feel long its just a good good good time and the classic icemav fic

ALSO HONOURABLE MENTION

Kings of the Air (@fabula-unica, 20k+)

Fighting and fucking: two things he did extraordinarily well. How could he have known what the effect would be when you combined the two?

ABSOLUTE HERITAGE FIC EVERY ICEMAV SHIPPER HAS TO LIVE AND BREATHE THIS FIC OH MY GODDD SO LOVELY SO SO SOS LOVELY read this fic. it has been waiting 12 years for you

ao3 etiquette is in order, if you liked it, leave a kudos and a comment :D I hope you enjoy these fics as much as I did !

[fecto-forgo]

i need your know your thoughts on fecto elfilis in general bc i lovelovelove your interpretation from what ive seen and i wanna see More So So Bad

AKSYSKJSKS YOU!!! YOURE GONNA MAKE ME BLUSHHH ok ok elfilis thoughts lets seeee

-ive already said this before but i very much go w the interpretation their mind worked like the fermi paradox dark forest theory:theyre extremely paranoid of any other life forms and they see them as nothing but threats to their survival, so they exterminate whole planets therefore conquering them, the good in them was essentially overshadowed by their severe self preservation urges, their failed attack on the forgotten planet and resulting consequences also served as cementing their paranoia that other species are inherently dangerous

-their origins are completely unclear to them and theyve never met another of their own species, they simply came to be one day, tbh growing up as a planet warping alien without anyone to give you an idea of what a moral compass is and whos dangerous and whos not is probably the root cause of them growing terrified of everything and seeing everyone as threats and deciding that means everyone has to die before they can even think of hurting them

-elfilis personality is weird in my view? theyre on a weird line between conscious and having no self awareness, specially when attacking, if actually given a standard healthy environment to fully form it in theyd probably be a bit similar to a (tad mean) child mindset for a while, that did however not happen so their mind ended up splitting in two because it couldnt handle it together anymore after the lab experiments (ayy i found a way to work more plural metaphors into the split), ig in a way you could see forgo and elfilin as the two ways elfilis could have resulted, one grew up in the lab surrounded by people who saw them as a test subject and entertainment source w elfilis memories and the other actually got to bond with others and be treated well

-they did however when lucid (for lack of a better term) (i mean i already headcanon forgo as psychotic so lizzie probably was too) have a bit of an ego issue with being overly confident in how many successful invasions they had done, those were very much power and safety fantasies to them at times

-they can communicate normally w full sentences! thats a forgo exclusive issue having to do w its brain mal forming from the eternity capsule screwing with its reformation and growth from the elfilis goop

-their "species" (its just them theyre the species) are immortal and fully asexual and aromantic, i think their thoughts on gender and pronouns would range from the "we use he/him for him but he doesnt really care" meme to "stop perceiving me i am going to kill you."

-the accident with them was kinda like if you put a hamster in the microwave but instead of exploding it melts into goo.and the result was also their whole ass identity split into two new ones.

-this isnt rly a lis headcanon but i just wanted to bring it up to explain the previous point:the way i see the entire "oops we split in half" accident is their body melted and split, elfilin spent most of that time after escaping as unconscious goop that very slowly throughout the years after the planets population ascended into the stars formed into the the child version of elfilis again, forgo is a deformed overgrown fetus because they tried rushing their body stability with the tube fluids, which instead trapped them as immediately conscious in stasis while their body was stuck expanding the fetus form and not becoming solid at all (i actually see that the reason its right ear is losing shape is because theyve begun straight up deteriorating from being in the tube fluids for over a century by that point)

-a consequence of going w the interpretation forgo and elfilis are separate is theres not much to say abt them bc theyre essentially a character exclusive to the games backstory since their identity died after splitting into two.i miss them </3

[oh-katsuki]

.

okay i am now more prepared to mention what has happened but im doing it because i need to complain about something. anywa

so yesterday i got a phone call that my dad was in the hospital with a brain bleed and needed emergency brain surgery. naturally, i was scared to death (still) and rushed back home to go be with him and my family. he’s had his operation and now he’s in recovery, but things still feel incredibly surreal and scary and im not rly sure how to handle it. even now im like... idk whatever. anyway 

my housemates emailed my professors on my behalf yesterday to tell them i’d be going home and wouldn’t be in class (because i was physically incapable of doing anything yesterday), but they were brief bc they really don’t need to know my business. 

now that my dad’s in recovery though, the adrenaline is starting to subside and im exhausted and like... weirdly scared idk whatever. anyway... i now have to email all of my professors and explain to them that i need extensions and wont be in class on monday either and i know school is my responsibility bc higher education and all... but it is so humiliating to have to ask for an extension on an exam and say that i can provide proof of the fact that i thought i was gonna lose my dad this weekend. like i was travelling all day yesterday and in the ICU with my dad all day today and i feel like i am incapable of doing anything else. 

and like... the fact that i will probably have to beg to not have my grades take a hit for this is fucking infuriating and humiliating because there is nothing i can do. even right now there is nothing i can do. i can’t focus. i can’t study. i can’t help my dad. like i have to choose between my academics and being with my dad and family during one of the hardest and scariest experiences in our lives. like the fact that im going to have to go in on tuesday and wednesday and be like “pleaaasee professors, don’t knock my grade down because i had to go home bc i thought my dad was gonna die, pleaaassee” is making me so upset and anxious. and it’s embarrassing to have to email the professors who specifically ask NOT to be told anything personal because like “family emergency” and “dad having emergency brain surgery” are not on the same level to me, but i have to do it that way anyway... idk i get why they do it but at the same time like what is okay to say and not okay so that the gravity of the situation can be understood... (i said ‘incredibly emergent situation regarding my immediate family). 

i also feel so GUILTY about missing classes. i feel so GUILTY about it but i need to be here because i would rather be overreacting and have everything turn out okay than under react and regret it later. and i KNOW that it’s a valid reason and excuse... i KNOW that... but like im so wired to believe that it’s work/school < everything else.. that i feel so guilty and that ive somehow made this whole thing up as an excuse to slack off (even though i KNOW how emergent the situation is). whatever im just stressed and sad idk. 

whatever it’s just been a really awful past few days and im so tired and have only just now had a moment to sit with the feeling of my academics continuing on even while my family is dealing with this. whatever im just weird right now.

[iholli]

working through the ROTTMNT movie today and y'all I am. not ready to cry but I know I'm going to

spoilers in the tags bc I'm processing rn so far it's. a lot. my heart

[doebt]

my dad terrifies me .. today especially

[izukult]

haiykuu boys react to a long distance partner surprising them

characters: hinata, kageyama, oikawa, sugawara, nishinoya, tsukishima

established relationship | warnings: swearing, my fan behavior, why are my head canons so long in this gd it’s like a tiny story without structure

hinata shōyō

-SUNSHINE BOY (i went crazy for this one i’m so sorry)

-you were sugawara’s old middle school penpal which turned online friend

-so obviously you’d heard about his volleyball team and the new first year star players

-and one thing led to another where he introduced you to hinata

-actually you were facetiming suga and you saw hinata and told your old friend you thought the tangerine boy was cute and then koushi “accidentally” put you in a gc together

-you and hinata have been dating for about four months

-you’ve heard everything to a t, including small little remarks from tsukishima to every toss, kill, and miss your boyfriend and kageyama managed

-side note but it’s so cute this boy is so whipped for you if you don’t respond for a certain amount of time he’ll find some dumb excuse to talk to suga just so he can shift the convo to making sure you’re safe

-anyway

-so you’re going to meet suga finally

-like FINALLY you’re so excited

-but you’re also boutta see your boyfriend!!!!!!

-buuuuuuuuuut your boyfriend didn’t know

-so it’s safe to say you were a little nervous about it

-you made suga swear up and down that he wouldn’t tell any of his teammates that you specifically were coming, but he did ask to make sure it was okay to have a semi open practice

-so you’re standing outside the volleyball gym with sugawara, backpack with hinatas favorite snacks over your shoulder. practice had already started so suga was late, but he still stood outside with you and let you prepare yourself

-you felt like you were about to throw up even though that’s shoyo’s thing

-suga walks in before you and you follow shortly after, holding in a sharp breath.

-there he was. standing on the other side of the gym, talking to who you knew as kageyama

-he hadn’t seen you yet, but other member of karasuno had

-”yoo who’s this hottie” bald, flirtatious, you had to assume its tanaka

-hinata was in the middle of jumping for a spike when he saw you, and he froze and fell to the ground, stumbling to keep his balance

-the gym got quiet at the tangerines reaction, but he was just staring at you.

-and then he was doing that “woosh” run he always told you about and before you knew it his arms were around your waist and his head was buried in your shoulder.

-everyone (literally EVERYONE) was looking at you two but you just laughed and placed a hand in his hair (which, holy fuck, is soft)

-you mouthed an apology to suga and he shrugged you off, and focused your attention back on the boy in front of you

he pulled back just enough to look at you, leaving his hands to rest on your back. his eyes were filled with tears (cute) and he offered you a smile.

“you’re here” his voice was quiet, for once, but it didn’t have any lag this time. and it was so fucking beautiful.

“i’m here.” you nodded, eyes scanning the features of his face. he chuckled lightly, a tear falling to his cheek as he shook his head.

“you’re so pretty.” his voice was watery and he moved his head back in your shoulder before you could utter a compliment back.

-he stayed attached to you for like minutes okay and this man completely ignored the teasing of his classmates.

-eventually you tried to pull him off you so he could get on with practice (and so you could watch him practice) but he refused to get off

-”bubs. babe. honey. you gotta get up”

-”hey hey hey, what about showing me a cool spike?”

-”i am literally asking you to do your favorite thing in the world sho,”

-”new favorite thing is holding you.”

-YOUR HEART

-eventually you did get him off of you and he practiced the HARDEST he had

-after practice he introduced you to everyone as his girlfriend even though you’d literally been introduced to them like an hour before

-his eyes stay on you and he constantly tells you how pretty you are face to face and how you smell good and how soft your hands are

-it would sound stalkerish if you werent whipped

-its ok hes whipped too

kageyama tobio

-no idea how youd meet this mf online

-maybe some volleyball forum or like arguing over which setter was betting in youtube comments

-or if you know nothing about volleyball,,,,

-i have no fucking clue BUT

-he doesnt mind long distance honestly

-he doesnt have to get worried about completely embarrassing himself and he never has to make like physical moves

-but he does wish he could hold your hand sometimes.

-but he ignores it🙄

-so you are like obsessed w this bitch u r in love w him🤢🤢

-and ur a good 90% sure he luv u too

-so you plan a trip to him

-you do it all out. you talk to his mom, you find the cheapest hotel that’s perfect distance between his house and his school bc ur just that cool

-and you even make up an excuse to kageyama for why you won’t be on your phone during the flight

-you know he’s gonna be at practice bc you know his schedule cos gf things

-you stocked up on banana milk (aka you brought like four)

-you hit him up yknow yknow

- “hey bubs i’m back<3 how’s practice going?” you’re literally standing outside the gym but you want to make sure you’re not coming in at a bad time

-after like three minutes he texted u “good:). just got done with a practice set.”

-so now you’re going and you’re excited and you’re Nervous

-you open the door and you’re met with a rly tall guy with a headband on

-“hi, can i help you?”

-“uh, is kageyama here?” and he turns his head, and you follow his eyes, and there he is

-and he’s already staring at you

-a ball is lightly held in his hands

-if anyone who didn’t know him saw him they would genuinely think he’s angry

-but it was kinda the same look he’d give you when you talked about things you cared about on facetime

-so maybe that’s love? 😳😳😳

you give him a little wave

-“sup kags”

-he’s just staring

-blankly staring

-which you should’ve expected

-“sorry, are you mad? i should’ve told you i was coming, that’s my bad i just thought i could surprise you and it would be really nice and then you wouldn’t be stressed out sorry-“

-literally why are you saying all this all of his teammates just like “wtf”

-he shook his head quickly and opened his mouth to say no but just continued to stare

-“i- uh- you want to watch me set?”

-you LAUGH. and i mean LAUGH girly and he just turns all kinds of red and you know his team is gonna be on him for that

-“yea! if that’s like, allowed?” daichi doesn’t care so you are literally balling

-you watch him play and like at first he’s REALLY awful like rly bad but then he kind of tunes everything out (i.e. you) and gets back in his groove

-afterwards he comes over to you and asks you what you think and he’s looking at you like this is normal but you can tell he’s shaking and he kisses your forehead REALLY REALLY FAST and mumbles a quiet “i’m glad you’re here”

-he opens up w affection more along the trip

-he appreciates the banana milk. sm.

-from then on out he constantly brags ab having a gf to the team

oikawa tooru

-he suspects smth is up to be honest

-he’s like “ohhh shawty gon do sum😫”

-(he doesn’t fucking call you shawty)

-but to be fair he figured more like you were gonna send him smth rather than send yourself

-surprise again he’s AT PRACTICE who would’ve guessed

-but this time you come at the end of practice because seijoh has like set schedules and oikawa tells you everything so

-you’re just standing by the door waiting for him to come out, ignoring the literal group of girls forming at the end of the hall knowing dAmn well they are your bf’s fangirls

-oh well

-you hear his voice before you actually see him

-he’s giving someone tips on their serves and you hear someone make a snide remark at him and you only assume its iwa

-he’s in the middle of a sentence and he just stops.

-there’s a good couple of seconds where he completely loses composure

-which is not tooru like

-you took a step closer and smiled

-”is this the oikawa tooru fanclub?”

-”nah it’s actually the oilykawa hate club” it’s the same voice from earlier and it’s definitely iwa

-you laugh a little and keep looking at your boyfriend

-”that’s even better”

-he just walks up to you and gives you a real, genuine smile

-pushes a piece of hair behind your ear

-and KISSES u

-EPIC MOMENT GAMERS

-”what are you doing here, pretty? come to see me play? if so, i hate to break it to you, but you’re late”

-you just roll your eyes and kiss him again

-once you two are alone he literally cries

-LMAO

sugawara koushi

-literally the only one who can keep his cool out of all these mfs (aside from tsukishima)

-however, when you show up to his practice wearing the hoodie he sent you like two months earlier, he lost his shit

-you set it up with daichi and everything beforehand.

-(and daichi literally made sure suga would look like a setting genius the day you showed up)

-he had just made a really good set when you walked in and you clapped

-”nice one, koushi”

-he looks at you like 😦 & is just like “you- what- you’re- how- why?”

-lol and then he goes on “not why like i’m not happy you’re here just how”

-and all the third years think it’s so funny to be honest, because typically suga can keep his cool

-he eventually gains his cool and shines you one his signature amazing smiles (which, is somehow better face to face)

-omg he goes over to you and once he gets there he turns to his teammates and like

-”this is my s/o!!!”

-mf is BEAMING

-he’s so happy

-you find out right after he gives literally the best hugs ever i live by that and i will die by that

-he doesn’t kiss you til you two are alone

-and its so fucking sweet and personal he puts his forehead on yours and tells you you’re the most beautiful person hes ever seen

-he is literally so in love w you

-ew

-i love him.

nishinoya yü

-ok he’s so loud

-literally the second he gets a gf everyone knows

-he shows the team pictures of you literally anytime one of them will look

-he luvs u

-he is your BIGGEST fan no doubt

-you make a nice meal? he wants to post about it

-you have a nice outfit? he will put it on his story

-you breathe? expect an “omg baby im so proud of u”

-so when you show up, he reacts the way you expect him to

-so like obviously this man isnt checking his phone during practice

-but he puts his phone on dnd and has you as his only favorite contact

-so you can text him if its an emergency during practice

-you know that, he knows it, the team knows it

-he gets the little ping!

-and he’s out the game

-no one is recovering the ball #peaceout

-he jogs over to check because you never text his number during practice bc you respect his passion for volleyball

-the text just says “come outside:))”

-he’s like wtf?? but bitch gonna do what u say😐

-he sees you and he just yells “holy shit” so loud dude

-daichi goes to call him on his language but steps outside and sees the short libero hugging the person they’d all seen in the photos, he just goes quiet

-nishinoya will not shut up as he hugs you

-he’s literally just hyping you up and asking you literally every single detail about how you’re there, where you’re staying, when you’re leaving, how your flight was, everything

-you just kiss his forehead :)

-literally only good vibes

-you guys have such a good trip bruh

-after you leave he literally just cries while looking at pics of you two together

-^ he took so many pics and vids of you pls

tsukishima kei

-unlike the others, you wouldn’t meet him at practice

-you don’t really know his team, nor does he tell you about them outside of mostly complaining

-you do know tadashi, but like you’ve only talked to him in a gc all three of you are in and never like alone

-you did not tell him you were coming because you’re 100% convinced he would’ve accidentally told tsuki even though he can keep his own shit secret lol

-you just show up at his door when you know he’s home

-and he’s texting you as you’re there and he had actually had a moderately rough day so you told him you were gonna order him food from his favorite restaurant

-which, technically wasn’t a lie you just had to make an extra stop

-you knock on his door (once you’ve prepared yourself because you honestly have no idea how he’s going to react)

-and he opens it ready to give a half hearted thank you to some delivery guy

-but instead his s/o

-he just stares at you

-he looks like a fish

-after like fifteen seconds you decide to try to break the ice bc you are nervous

-”delivery here for uh one…” you pretend to look at the paper, you’re doin a whole skit here “one dumb bitch. are you dumb bitch?”

-he just rolls his eyes and shoves your head

-he walks back but he leaves the door open

-”take your shoes off”

-he’s not even looking at you smh but you smile so fucking wide bc that’s the kind of reaction you were honestly hoping for

-(what you don’t know is he will literally break his whole hard exterior act if he looks at you right now and he is not ready for that)

-you put the food on the table and move to stand next to him

-and after a bit he finally looks at you

-and you look at him

-and you smile

-and he does too,, kind of

-(which is so fucking cute,)

-and you just keep starin at him and bite your lip to keep from grinning

-and after a couple minutes you clear your throat

-”can i hug you?”

-bro he’s so fucking whipped he doesnt even answer he just wraps his arms around you and puts his head on top of yours

-and he mumbles a thank you and its so fucking SWEET

-he does open up more the longer you’re there and u have a very good trip mwah in luv

[amjustagirl]

Chapters: one. ~ two. ~ three. ~ four. ~ five. ~ six. ~ seven. ~ eight.

Wordcount: 2.9k

Summary: Being with Miya Atsumu is like chasing a storm - equal parts exhilaration and danger. After all, it’s impossible to tame a storm

Masterlist link here 

AO3 link here 

Author’s Note: And we’re at the final chapter! Thank you so much for going on this wild ride with me, and I’m rly excited to hear what you guys think - so please, drop me an ask, a note, a comment, anything!!! 

It takes time and effort to rebuild a home wrecked by a storm, and reconstruction efforts aren’t necessarily smooth sailing, especially at the start - after all, he’s still the same Miya Atsumu, arrogant and brash and foulmouthed and hyper focused on volleyball, and they both have baggage from years of regret and pain to work through. But he has determination to spare, and she loves him too much for her own good, so they start from the very foundation and work their way up, step by step, one day at a time. 

‘I’ll kill ya if ya ever hurt her again’, Osamu threatens darkly when she and Atsumu break the news to him. 

‘Go find yer own girl and stop being sweet on my wife damn it! ’ Atsumu growls, but the kiss he presses to her forehead when she smacks the back of his head for being mean to his twin is achingly sweet. 

‘Ugh, soppy. Get yer shit outta my house!’ Osamu scrunches his face in mock disgust. 

Both brothers are surprised when she beats Atsumu at flipping Osamu off. 

Atsumu moves back home (he’s not even going to hide how happy the sound of that makes him), and they mark the occasion by slipping his wedding ring back on his finger and eating take-out pizza on the living room floor. 

Her burly brothers turn up on their doorstep with a glint in their eyes and too much teeth in their smiles, determined to drag Atsumu off for a couple of drinks and what she assumes will be a very unpleasant chat. She’d insisted on patting them down to make sure they’re not packing any knives - ‘what do you take us for, little sis’, they’d protested - but she’s not taking any chances, and begs Osamu to join them, ‘please ‘Samu, I don’t want to be a widow right after I decide not to divorce his ass’, and he agrees despite grumbling that he might as well be Atsumu’s glorified babysitter at this rate. 

She’d woken up in bed the next morning to find the space beside her empty, but the living room crammed full of those four silly men. Atsumu and Osamu share a single futon between them, snoring back to back. There are faint bruises on Atsumu’s cheekbone and telltale scrapes on her own brothers’ knuckles, but otherwise they all seem relatively unscathed. 

She bends over, tracing her thumb along the contour of Atsumu’s jaw, and he stirs, eyes half lidded with sleep. 

‘Hey darlin', I’ve come home’, he tells her, warmth flickering in his smile. 

‘Welcome home, 'Tsumu’, she says, tucking the blanket under his chin and he hums in contentment, falling back asleep. 

His nightmares of brown envelopes and harsh neon lights distorting her face slowly fade, and he dreams instead of weeknight dinners and weekend picnics at the park, relishing the quiet domesticity of grocery trips and laundry loads, and delighting in home games with her and Shino cheering him on.

Some piss poor excuse of a gossip hound corners him after a match to ask him about whether he regrets leaving for Milan since his season ended in injury - and he freezes when the reporter slyly adds ‘especially since we all knew it’s a move that required you to leave your wife and daughter behind ‘. His manager is about to intervene when she sneaks up on him to slide an arm around his waist, apologising to the reporter that ‘she’s just so excited to give her husband a congratulatory kiss!’ . 

Sakusa and Meian have to join forces to pull Atsumu back from punching the reporter when he grins shark-like, thinking he’s spotted easy prey and asks her whether she felt abandoned in Japan due to his move - ‘pardon me Miya-san for my unwieldy choice of words’. 

‘Not at all’, she says without missing a beat, and Atsumu wonders if he imagines the flash of a knife in her smile. ‘I’ve always supported my husband in all his endeavours. It was a joint decision that I should stay in Japan to ensure our daughter has some stability in her life.'

‘She’s good’, his manager tells him when the reporter slinks away with his tail between his legs. 

‘Yeah - I don’t deserve her’, he answers with a rueful smile. 

When he tries to thank her that night, she levels him with a look that could knock a grown man (i.e. him) off his feet, but her voice is gentle and her words are soft. 

‘Don’t thank me’, she says. ‘Just be a better husband and father, ok?’ 

He’s not ashamed to admit that he actually cries. 

He learns to tell her he loves her at least once a day. She starts to smile back cheekily and reply ‘of course’. 

The game is in between sets when the skin at the back of his neck crackles with nerves. From the corner of his eye, he catches a glimpse of Osamu sprinting right into the stands. Then his ears pick up on his little girl’s scream - ‘mama’  she cries, her shrill voice ringing above the confusion rippling through the crowd and his legs move of their own accord, leaping over the barrier into the audience, as he snarls and shoves his way to her usual spot. 

He thought he’s had his fill of nightmares to last him a lifetime. He’s evidently wrong. 

She lies crumpled on the ground, head resting on Osamu’s lap. Her lips are pale and her eyes are closed but thank god - thank whichever deity’s listening - her chest still moves with her breath. He’s not quite sure what happens next - he knows he dives to his knees and pulls her towards him but everything else is a blur until her eyes flutter open and she groans. 

‘Darlin’, can ya hear me? Can ya tell me where you are?’ he asks, forcing his voice to remain calm. 

‘Tsumu? Why are you here? Aren’t you in the middle of a game?’ she murmurs, confused. 

‘Fuck the game’, he snaps. ‘Are ya feelin' ok?’ 

‘Something hurts, Tsumu’, she rasps, eyes glazing over. He can feel the chill of ice seep into his spine. 

'Yer fine, yer fine, yer going to be fine' he mutters, over and over and over again, willing her to sit up and tell him she's fine, she's ok, she'll just shake it off - but light starts to shutter out of her eyes and frost creeps up his throat. 

‘I need a medic!’ he shouts, voice cracking on every word. ‘I need a medic, now!’

‘Tsumu’, he hears his brother interrupt urgently. ‘Tsumu, she’s bleedin’. 

He’s never been more grateful for Osamu when his twin turns to yell for an ambulance and yanks Shino away with him. The little girl is kicking and screaming for her mama but he knows she would kill him if he lets their little girl be traumatised from seeing her mama lying in a pool of blood on the floor. 

He can’t breathe - not even when the medics finally come and whisk her off to the hospital, his mind hardly able to process anything, terror still coursing through his veins when the doctors press brown envelopes full of forms into his bloodstained hands for him to sign so the relevant procedures can be carried out. 

‘Don’t!’ Osamu says sharply, when he drops his head into his hands and starts to whimper about how he’ll die if he loses her again and what the fuck is he gonna do, ‘Samu, if she doesn’t make it out alive – ‘she’s stronger than ya think, don’t ya dare give up on her like that’, and he promptly shuts up after that. Time in the waiting room passes agonizingly slow, seconds feeling like minutes, minutes stretching into hours, and he would have drowned from the weight of his despair if he weren’t anchored in place by his twin’s hand on his back.

His breath rushes back into his lungs when the doctors later tell him she’s fine,  they carried out the standard operation - but she doesn’t look fine, doesn’t seem fine, is very clearly not fine when they wheel her out, huddled into a ball with her head between her knees, like her world has just collapsed into itself. She doesn’t even look up when he sits beside her, the bed dipping under his weight. 

‘I’m sorry’, she eventually says, voice barely a whisper, and he fights the urge to break down into tears – because ‘Samu’s right, she’s so much stronger than he thinks. They'd been talking about trying for a sibling for Shino for some time now, since they've both grown up with brothers of their own and can't imagine life without them. But the doctors tell him that it’s just bad luck - the baby was never going to survive, and her collapse was probably exacerbated by stress, overwork, perhaps even fatigue from her skipping lunch for work and dinner to rush to his match.

‘Don’t be. It’s not yer fault at all’, he manages to pull himself together to reassure her, but she just stares blankly at the wall. 

His grandmother calls when they find out the baby they lost would have been a boy, and he fails her again when he’s too late to snatch the phone away before the old lady’s poison drips into her ears and traps her in a deadly fog. He’d cursed the old bitch out relentlessly, but the toxic words fester beneath her skin and she fades into a ghost before his eyes. He desperately tries to stop her spiral into frozen silence, but he’s away for games more than half the time, hands tied behind his back by the stranglehold of contracts and commitments he has no choice but to fulfil. 

He’s never been so thankful before when the season finally ends - but he is, at least this time, so he can talk her into taking two weeks off from work. They drop Shino off with her indulgent grandparents, and drift down the coast on the back of her bike. She doesn’t try breaking any speed limits - and he knows he should be happy about that, but there’s no spark in her eyes, no smile to answer the wind - there hasn’t been, not since she collapsed. 

(not since they lost their child)

He buys her mochi at every town, but she picks at it listlessly, just like she does these days when Osamu tries to tempt her with his latest creations. He insists they stay at  ryokans, traditional inns with onsens attached, hoping the heat from the water might chase the chill from her bones, but colour does not return to her cheeks. There are shadows beneath her eyes, and she seems to wilt under the vibrant red and gold of autumn leaves. 

They go for a walk after dinner one night, tracing a path along the shore. He’d been talking non-stop the entire trip to mask the gaps left by her silence, but tonight he falls quiet, allowing the hum of the waves to wash over them. Her hand is cold in his, so he wraps his jacket around her shoulders and hopes the warmth from his body bleeds into hers. 

She comes to a standstill, feet sinking in the sand, and tilts her head to face him. 

‘Tsumu?’, she breathes, a question in her eyes. 

‘I’m here’, he says, a prayer in his heart. 

There is a lighthouse on the cliff just a few miles ahead, illuminating the shadows of the waves. The faintest reflection of light pools in her eyes, and he stills as she lifts her gaze to meet his. 

‘I know’, she says, offering him the smallest of smiles. 

He interlaces their fingers together firmly, and tugs her towards shelter, as a storm brews over the horizon. 

That night she tucks her head under his chin, and he holds her until she falls asleep, cradled in his arms. He keeps slumber at bay by counting her breaths, and only falls asleep himself when the storm breaks. 

'Why did I wake up to a blonde octopus wrapped around me', she mumbles, voice heavy with sleep. 

'Nah. More like a seahorse, cos I'm not letting ya go, sweetheart', he replies, tightening his grip on her waist. 'Ya got a problem with that?' 

Her only response is to burrow herself deeper into his chest.

'Guess not', he chuckles fondly, nuzzling his nose into her hair, hope blossoming anew in his heart. 

Time turns their wounds into scars and they heal together, one breath at a time. 

She stays away from their first few matches when the season begins again. The press is coerced into passing over reports of her collapse by the dual forces of the MSBY press machine and their legal team, but they are forced to ride out the gossip generated in internet forums by a fringe group of deranged fans. His teammates treat her like she’s made of glass - even Bokuto dials himself down a notch, all save for Shoyo, who slips her his mother’s number, telling her gently that the six year gap between him and Natsu wasn’t deliberate, and that she would find a sympathetic ear in the older woman. 

He knew he was right to anoint Shoyo as his favourite wing spiker - not only does he fly high enough to answer the demand of every single one of his sets, but his sunniness drags her out of the fog into yoga classes and meditation practices, and slowly but surely he watches her bloom again. It’s a powerful combination - Shoyo-kun’s friendship and his mother’s gentle conversations, Osamu’s cooking and her love for Shino, capped with his determination to show her he loves her and prove that he’s here to stay.

‘It’s like Kintsugi’, she tells him, with a wide smile. ‘All of you poured gold into the cracks of my heart and made me whole again’. 

The years pass. 

Shino turns seven – a very respectable age for his very best girl, he tells her (I'm your only girl, Papa, Shino informs him archly), and obliges her demands of a bicycle in MSBY colours and volleyball lessons, forcing all his teammates to turn up for her birthday party, volleyball themed of course. The look of unadulterated joy on his princess’ face is worth every ounce of effort to put up with Sakusa’s complaints at having to turn up for a kiddie party full of loud noises and far too much candy, and the sweaty afternoons spent hand painting the bicycle black and gold. 

The day Atsumu discovers his first white hair makes her thank her lucky stars that she’s immune to his nonsense by now, because the wailing and gnashing of teeth she has to put up with makes ‘Samu offer her his couch as refuge. She slaps tape and salonpas on his aches and pains, and points to the deepening lines on her face when he complains about his age. 

‘Those lines aren’t wrinkles. If they’re caused by laughter, it doesn’t count’, he reasons laughingly. She’s left befuddled by his logic and shakes her head.

Meian Shugo retires, and Hinata throws a party to celebrate in his honour, cramming the entire MSBY team and assorted friends into his penthouse apartment on a rainy Saturday night. Osamu’s hired to cater the food but remains as a guest, shooting a smirk at him when Shoyo drags her off to dance during his favourite song, twin flames burning bright in the night. 

‘A hundred yen for your thoughts?’ she asks, when Shoyo returns with her breathless but wreathed with smiles. 

‘Was just wondering when you were gonna save a dance for this old man’, he teases. 

‘Oh?’ she says with a laugh. ‘Thought you said your back hurt, and you didn’t want to move?’

‘Meh - I was hoping you’d forget that’, he says airily, then frowns when he notices there’s no drink in her hand. 

‘Not drinking tonight, sweetheart?’, he asks, curling his fingers around her empty hand. 

‘The doctor warned me not too’, she answers, her smile growing impossibly wider. He blinks in confusion when she leans on to her toes to whisper into his ear - then oh. 

‘You’re pregnant?’ he repeats, unable to trust his ears, eyes filling with tears when she bites her lips and nods. 

‘Are you happy, ‘Tsumu?’, she asks, her face alight with hope. 

There is so much he wants to say to her, starting with thank you loving me enough to give me another chance all those years ago and ending with I love you, so ridiculously much – because he can never say it enough, she’s given him more than he deserves – her heart, Shino, a happy home and now the promise of another child. 

But there's salt and water welling up in his throat, and it’s all he can do to choke out a shaky ‘of course’, before gathering her in his arms, warmth pooling in his eyes, love overflowing in his heart. 

They stay that way for most of the night, entwined in each other’s arms, so drunk on happiness and love and warmth that they don’t even notice the storm clearing and the moon rising in the clear night sky. 

[oodlyenough]

life is strange true colours review

the non spoilery part: i LOVED this game, my personal fave game this year and the first franchise entry since the original that has really resonated with or moved me.

it's a life is strange game through and through, so if you don't like slice of life episodes or bonding with NPCs, it's not gonna be for you. but if you like the franchise, or even if you liked the first game but haven't been interested in/liked the other two instalments, i recommend giving this one a chance. i think it got closer to figuring out the formula while still doing something new and interesting.

more detailed spoilers and opinions:

alex

holy shit i love alex? bisexual chad... my darling... i'm gonna be real, a lot of the trailers and promo for this game made me worried she'd be kind of a dull wallflower Soft Girl character, but she's not! she's so funny, and even parts of her characterization i initially thought were maybe a bit of a stretch ended up making sense as i learned more about her. she stole the show. i straight up forgot how much loving the protag helps enjoyment of these kinds of games lmao ... finally a reason to click on everything in the room: to hear what alex will say about it.

i thought her backstory exploration in ep 5 especially was wonderful and emotive and great. broke my heart and explained so much about her :( baby girl

plot/choices

i loved the mystery. i don't think it was quite as Mysterious as the mystery in lis1, but that was okay, i was still invested in solving it. i also got invested enough in the NPCs around the town to make all the exploration bits really fun. i loved eavesdropping on the sagas of the random NPCs like bald man and ice cream couple... just fun little touches and narratives to follow that i enjoyed.

i really appreciated this script not being afraid to shy away from some messier emotions, even if in some cases i wish we spent more time on them. for example: alex feeling a bit jealous of the other people in town that got to know gabe better than her/spend more time with him than she did. or charlotte hating ethan!!! my jaw dropped, i thought that was so good, what a messy but realistic response.

I'm not entirely sure what all the ramifications of different choices are at this point, fresh off my first play. i ended up getting only part of the council to stand with me (eleanor & duckie) while losing pike and charlotte.

i do wish we saw a bit more fallout or exploration of what taking away emotion DOES. i took charlotte's anger, and obviously it meant she didn't stand up for me in the council meeting, but where does she go from there? does she like... ever return to feeling emotions lmao... I also think we probably should've had the opportunity to do that another time, instead of just 2 isolated events -- I think Diane would've been a good candidate.

the romance

i romanced steph, ofc, but i was surprised during the game how drawn i was to ryan too -- i really liked that Drama of him being the one who cut Gabe free, as well as later the drama of him being Jed's son. UNTIL HE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME... that made me mad lmfao, i have to learn what to do to make him believe me before i play a Ryan route bc i'll kill him lmfao.

the steph/alex romance was sweet... it didn't really, like, Consume Me as a ship, but by the end of the game I was still "aww"ing at their moments in the flashforward. steph was more rounded and flawed than i thought she might be, which i really appreciated! i was worried they'd just make her perfect idealized gf, but she has a bit of a temper and is kind of tempestuous and stuff... liked it. loved her standing up for alex so fiercely and immediately at the council meeting <3 and my main reservation about her in ep 4 was that i wanted alex to stay in haven, so when she offered to stay i was thrilled LOL

one semi-complaint i had was that something i loved so much about lis1 was how max and chloe's relationship was central to the entire game and story, it wasn't some extra thing on the side, it WAS the game... whereas here, the romance routes, especially steph's, felt like sidequests. I wish they'd found a way to incorporate those relationships a bit more into the main goings-on. I also wanted to spend more time with either romance option to feel like I knew them better -- splitting the time between Steph and Ryan means that I came away feeling like I didn't get quite as much of either of them as I would've liked, vs spending almost the entire game with Chloe lol.

however, this ended up not really bothering me too much because I DID really like the core mystery and themes, the exploration of grief and Emotion, etc.

other characters

considering everyone knew going into the game that gabe was going to die, i was impressed with how they did it, and how they managed to get me attached to gabe in a mere single episode. it's a tall order to introduce a character designed to die, who your audience KNOWS is going to die, and still make them work.

i thought this supporting cast was ... maybe the strongest in the franchise? or at least, they created scenarios where i felt invested in multiple people in the town, and was genuinely trying to build decent relationships with most of them. duckie cracked me tf up, i liked eleanor and riley, even diane and jeb were good for their roles. (fuck pike. i signed ur stupid thing and left your emotions alone and you still won't do shit? ACAB!!!) the choice to stay in haven or leave was a little harder than i expected honestly, considering how quickly i let arcadia bay burn to the ground lmfao.

gameplay/etc

also i know the whole internet has been dunking on "empathy" as a super power since the game was announced, and i get that it sounds corny and looks corny in the trailers, but i thought how they did it was really cool. i wish they'd branded it "Mindreading" more than empathy tbh because a lot of the cooler elements of it are more along those lines... using her power to manipulate people, potentially taking people's emotions away and what that does to them... very interesting imo!

i really liked the memory feature!!! cool way to give us character exposition and inform the story while encouraging exploration. finally a collectible that like, expands the story, instead of chloe drawing butts on the wall and sean taking 10 years to draw something.

it's definitely the most evolved-feeling LIS game, which it should be, given it's the newest. graphics looked really nice, loved getting to see the characters actually emote, even if there are still some scenes that were a lil comically blank-faced -- usually NPCs. i actually noticed this with Jed the most, which in retrospect maybe was somewhat intentional?

i had a number of visual glitches, nothing major but a little silly, like T-posing Alex, npcs t-posing in the windows, etc. i'm sure they'll get patched out soon.

anyway... i rly liked this game, i'm excited for the steph dlc and finally feel like i have reason to be optimistic about future LIS instalments. hooray!

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Heyo, reporting back to request a continuation of a continuation of a continuation, if you wouldn't mind! Aka, please more 3rd Life Villainpulse angst, I'm so invested (and very curious as to whether his latest murder attempt was an actual success, or if he really should have stuck around to verify the death...)

i genuinely rly love this! i’ve got such plans for it now that i think i’ll make it into an actual proper fic.

i’ve also now posted it on AO3, titled Stand For Nothing! link here

…

Impulse is getting concerned. It’s been over five minutes and no death message in chat. It should’ve happened by now. He had been worried about being found near the scene of a death — it’d already been about five minutes since the meeting and someone would’ve gone to find Skizz, so his items would almost certainly be found — but now he’s starting to think he should have stuck around anyway and made sure the job was finished.

He had been intending to stay here at his villager trading centre until the death notification came up and then he would run back to Dogwarts and play the distressed best friend.

But no death message. So his plan has to change.

When he makes it back to Dogwarts, he finds Ren standing outside the Renchanting building, his face pale. When he spots Impulse, he quickly beckons him. “Impulse! For the love of god, where’ve you been?!”

Impulse blinks. With no death message in chat, what can Ren be so worked up about? “W-What? What’s happened…?”

“Skizzle’s been attacked! We heard an explosion outside our walls and when we went to check, we found him out there, passed out. He’s in a critical condition but Martyn’s with him now and hopefully he’ll recover.”

Impulse can only stare at Ren with an open mouth and a pit in his stomach. Somehow, in all the possible outcomes he pictured for this scenario, he never imagined Dogwarts would actually find Skizz alive. After three perfect murders, it seems he got careless.

“O-Oh my god,” he manages to choke out. “C-Can I see him?”

“Not yet, but Martyn will tell us when we can.”

Ren takes him down into the living area under Renchanting. There, Etho is pacing back and forth in front of a closed door, clearly deep in thought, but he glances up as Ren comes in. “Ren, you found him.”

Ren nods, even though it wasn’t really a question. “Any word?”

“Not yet. Martyn has three healing potions in there with him though, so I’d say Skizz’s chances are really good.”

Impulse has to strain to keep his expression steady at that. “G-Good. That’s good.”

Something changes almost imperceptibly in Etho’s expression, but Ren, clearly not noticing, rubs Impulse’s back reassuringly. “He’ll be okay, Impulse. Don’t worry.”

All Impulse can do is nod, not trusting himself to speak.

Finally, after what feels like hours, the door opens and Martyn appears, his body blocking the view inside the room. “He’s awake,” he reports, a very serious look on his face. “Ren.”

Ren quickly ducks into the room, but when Impulse starts to follow, Martyn blocks him. “Not you,” he says coldly. “Etho, stay with him, please.”

Impulse’s heart freezes. There’s only one reason Martyn would stop him from seeing his injured best friend.

Skizz has told him everything.

He takes a step back and bumps into something behind him, causing him to jump.

“What’s going on, Impulse?” asks Etho casually, an only-just-discernible undertone of danger in his voice. “You seem a little tense.”

“My best friend almost died,” Impulse replies coldly, but even he can tell his words are unconvincing.

“Indeed. I wonder how that happened?”

“I don’t like what you’re implying, Etho. Why would you have any reason to suspect me?”

Etho just folds his arms and says nothing, infuriating Impulse. “You said I was the only person on this server you really trust!”

“That was before I joined these guys. I’ve had a weird feeling in my stomach about you for a while, Impulse. Something hasn’t felt right since this whole thing started, but I assumed it was just me trying to apply rationality to this irrational world. But one thing never changes, Impulse. No matter how much you try to change it.”

Impulse falls silent, scowling at the ground. He’s already given away too much in his tone and expression.

He glances sideways at Etho, who has his eyes fixed on the door Ren and Martyn went through. Realisation dawns on him: Etho isn’t expecting him to put up a fight. Etho thinks he has nowhere to go.

Now is the time, then. He can’t afford to wait any longer; when Ren and Martyn come back out here, it’s over. Impulse knows he can’t take on three people at once. This is his last chance to escape alive.

So when Etho shifts position a few seconds later, Impulse strikes. Before he can react, Impulse sweeps Etho’s legs out from under him and shoves him into the wall as he’s falling. Without waiting around to see the result of his attack, Impulse takes off running.

He makes it out of Renchanting and is just about to run down the hill towards the crastle when an arrow whizzes by him, nicking the sleeve of his t-shirt and causing him to lose his balance. Suppressing a scream, Impulse topples down the hill and lands in the shallow river at the bottom. He tries to continue onward but has to stop as he puts weight on his left foot and realises he must have twisted his ankle during his fall.

Gritting his teeth through the throbbing pain, he looks up in time to be able to dodge another arrow fired at him by the figure on top of Dogwarts’s wall.

He has to keep going.

Every step on his left foot is agony but he pushes himself on, half-galloping down the hill on the other side, the crastle in his sights.

“Bdubs!” he shrieks as he draws near, his heart racing. The Red Army is likely right behind him. “BDUBS!”

The person he’s calling rushes out of the castle over the drawbridge just in time to catch Impulse as he finally loses his balance and pitches forward.

“Impulse! You’re soaking wet!? What the-?!”

“Th- They’re coming for me,” he croaks. His eyes flicker up and he spots two faces in the windows on the second floor. It’s time for the performance of his life. “Dogwarts turned on me! They think I killed Tango and Cleo a-a-and made you kill Joel!”

“What?!” gasps Bdubs. “That’s ridiculous! Why would they think that?!”

“I-I don’t know but th- They’re gonna kill me, Bdubs…!”

“Not on my watch!”

Bdubs quickly ushers Impulse inside the crastle and into the waiting arms of Jimmy. Together, the two guide Impulse upstairs and lay him down in the bed Grian has placed in a position safely away from the slit windows.

“What happened, Impulse?” Bdubs asks softly. “How did they turn on you?”

Impulse takes a shaky breath. “Something happened to Skizz. He… He got attacked. Then he told everyone it was me and that I’d killed Tango and Cleo and manipulated you into killing Joel.”

“First of all, that’s utterly ridiculous,” Bdubs snaps. “I killed Joel because he was about to kill you. And second, why on earth would you want to kill Tango or Cleo?”

“I-I think you might’ve been right, Bdubs. I th-think Etho was responsible for Cleo’s death. And now he’s got Dogwarts trying to make me a scapegoat.”

Bdubs’s gaze darkens. “Despicable little-.”

“BDOUBLEO!”

“Stay there,” says Bdubs.

He strides to the window, flanked by Grian and Scott, armed with his crossbow. “What do you want, Ren?”

Down on the ground, having left Skizz in the care of BigB, stand Ren, Martyn, and Etho, staring up at the castle. The latter two hold bows, while Ren is armed with a sword and shield.

“We know Impulse is hiding out in there,” Ren announces, with the regal but dangerous air of a king. “Hand him over to us, Bdubs.”

“No way in hell,” Bdubs snaps back. “He told me everything!”

“We can guarantee you he did not,” responds Martyn steadily. “Not the truth, anyway. He’s using you, Bdubs.”

“YOU’re the ones using HIM! As a scapegoat!”

“Impulse isn’t the angel you think he is, Bdubs,” Etho says darkly. “You’re protecting the person who killed Cleo.”

“No, YOU killed Cleo,” snarls Bdubs. “And I bet you killed Tango too and tried to blame it on me! You’re just trying to frame anyone you can so you can get away with it!”

Despite the pain and stress he’s experiencing, Impulse can’t help feeling proud of himself. The seeds of doubt and suspicion he’s sown between Bdubs and Etho are paying off now.

“Bdubs.” Ren’s voice drops slightly as emotion creeps into his tone. “He attacked his best friend and left him to die. If we hadn’t found him in time, Skizz would have succumbed to his injuries alone and terrified in the middle of nowhere, murdered by his own best friend.”

“What exactly is Impulse’s motive supposed to be, here?” Scott asks suddenly. “You say he killed Tango and Cleo, orchestrated Joel’s death, and tried to murder Skizzle. Why exactly would he want to do that?”

“Skizz claims Impulse said it was because Tango “knew too much” about something,” Martyn says. “Some kind of secret that Impulse is keeping. And that Cleo’s and Joel’s deaths were “necessary to push the war forward”. That’s his motive, Scott. Impulse wants war, and he doesn’t care who he hurts to get it.”

“We ARE talking about the same Impulse, right?” demands Bdubs. “Our Impulse? The sweetheart who wouldn’t hurt a fly? Are we sure Skizz didn’t just misremember? He's a little unreliable like that. Maybe he said it was someone else who-.”

“Don’t you dare!” Martyn bursts out suddenly, his voice filled with the most venom anyone had ever heard it. “Don’t you DARE say that! You weren’t there, Bdubs! You didn’t have to fix his broken ribs and his fractured neck and his shattered arm! You weren’t there when he finally woke up after several minutes of crying out and panicked breathing like he was having a nightmare! You didn’t hear the way he cried, how terrified he was when he told me what happened, the raw agony in his voice! That’s not the demeanor of someone who MISREMEMBERED! Skizz has gone through hell today and it’s all Impulse’s fault! So I’m not leaving here without his head, in one form or another!”

“YEAH!” Ren yells in agreement, hitting his sword against his shield. “No more arguments. No more wasting time. If you don’t give us Impulse right NOW, we will declare war on you and take him by force.”

Inside the crastle, Impulse’s heart skips a beat. This is it: the moment of truth. Either everything he’s been working towards will finally come to fruition… or Bdubs will hand him over and he will die.

Bdubs straightens up, a steely look of determination appearing in his eyes.

“Then consider us at war.”

[dyklopces]

*pays u attention* hiiii I only go here(here being pjo) for the valzhang . Feel free 2 use this ask as a hc dump :}

lee i owe you my first born

it doesn't take leo long to say he's in love . if he makes eye contact with someone and then they smile at him ?? game over . he tells everyone he knows that he's found The One

this being said . when he sees Frank for the first time . he doesn't feel any romantic attraction

mostly cause Frank thinks he's annoying and talks 2 much . also yknow Fire Powers and franks life force being dependent on a piece of firewood

frank is seemingly the exact opposite . he falls in like a lot slower (demi Frank rights) so when he meets Leo his first thought is "why is this tiny person screaming "

don't get me wrong . Leo thinks frank is Beautiful but like , not anything to ride home about . so what if he can nail a bullseye from 100 yards and turn into a lion . Leo doesn't think he's cool or scientifically interesting or kind of funny in that weird dry way grandmas are at all, shut up

I cant remember the books plots exactly cause i haven't read them in years but like , over time as they almost die together for the millionth time , they start to trust each other instinctually. they talk to each other now , and joke around

side note, when leo makes frank laugh for the first time , he has to almost immediately run away to piper to talk thru how he APPARENTLY has a crush !! how . when did this happen . piper why are u laughing

(she tells him that she's the daughter of love and she knew from the start and leo almost lights her room completely on fire from how embarrassed he gets )

the more leo talks it thru the more he's like. oh he thinks im annoying huh . im in way too deep now ! shit !!! he hates me and im in love with him !!!!!! why do the gods hate me piper . im too sexy for this help

she comforts him cause like , she knows frank genuinely doesn't like him rn . she has Vibes but romantically speaking she knows that atm it's one sided

frank , having been Abandoned , talks 2 Hazel for a bit (they are best friends ) and is like . is this what having friends My Age is ? laughing and leaving and nearly dying ?? huh . wild.

leo decides to be himself about the whole situation and Ignore It . it is fine he is fine he's just in love with someone who hates him . he is Okay and Stable and Normal and Not Upset About Anything , Hazel , Why Do You Keep Asking .

this goes on for a few weeks and franks confused cause whenever he makes a joke leo laughs really hard and then says he has "Very important and Shipley duties to attend to . not crashing and such . bye"

and then . Leo gets sucked up or whatever and is on calypsos island for a week .

in my world they're found family and LOVE EACH OTHER , thank you very much , so they all are desperately searching for him everywhere they can think, and Jason says "he's nowhere .. " cause Jason is a repressed emo and percys like hm . Well

frank, being Distinctly upset, immediately sees when percy puts the pieces together, demands he explains . so he does , and as upset as everyone is, they decide to try and help stop the end of the world or whatever.

leo has been having a Week on calypso Island . no one's looking for him, the only human company he has hates his fucjking guts , he has no way out . its literally His Personal Hell and he spends it damning every god he can think of cause like . what are they gonna do . put him on an island where he's functionally alone and can never get off and none of his friends even care ?

as is in canon, he and calypso reluctantly bond over lost loves and dead moms or whatever I can't remember .

eventually, he tells her about Frank, and how Frank could never like him like that, let alone love him.

calypso laughs in his face .

"first of all, I bet 100 drachmas he's in love with you too . second of all . so what . I would kill to have friends like that."

this time, when he promises to find a way off the island for her, she says "Good luck with your boy, boy. May the gods be on your side"

when leo shows back up on argo II everyone's like :-D !!!! LEO !!!!!!! and piper has to Hold frank back from tackling leo in excitement . they just hug rly hard :-) (BTW at this point she knows it's requited and if she weren't so thankful leo was back safe she'd pull his ear and call him stupid)

in the final battle , yes I am skipping ahead my hands hurt , Frank gives leo his firewood and says "don't be stupid, leo . people love you . " Which is as good as a confession you're gonna get before you almost certainly die

when leo Does die, frank goes fucking insane .

he doesn't leave his cabin at the roman camp for a week and when he does, he spends all his time at the archery range . he doesn't talk to anyone but Hazel.

he and annabeth have a conversation about losing someone before you can say you love them , but he barely responds cause like . percy came back . Leo won't.

about a month passes like this , and eventually he goes to chb to pray to hades / Pluto whatever who cares, ans be like . treat him well.

leo then shows up out of the sky, on a Dragon, carrying a Random Girl who immediately hugs leo, punches percy on the arm then hugs him too, and frank faints like the KING he is

when he wakes up in the infirmary, leo is at his bedside, still w the random girl, holding a cup of nectar . he hands it to frank and starts rambling nervously, explaining where he was for the past month and apologising

frank just . grabs his hand . says "I told you to not be stupid."

leo then reaches into his belt and pulls out the firewood

they confess and kiss :-)

[bakubitch-minusultra]

Requested HeadCanons

HHH MY FIRST REQUEST AH @zboIk

Request -> Then I would like to request but I cannot choose so : prompt 9 headcannons with Matsukawa / prompt 12 headcannon with Kita / prompt 17 headcannon with Kyoutani, because I feel like asking 3 headcannons is too much I will let you choose which inspires you most ! Obviously if you feel like doing the tree of them, two of them or none of them, it's totally fine !

Characters: Issei Matsukawa and Shinsuke Kita

Prompt Nine (Issei Matsukawa): When people are born, they are assigned a soulmate. They have an original song in their head that only them and their soulmate know. A person just broke into your house and you’re pretty sure they’re here to murder you. They’re humming your song under their breath

Prompt Twelve(Shinsuke Kita): At a party, a round of truth or dare starts, and you’re dared by someone to “go home.” Not one to back down, you comply and leave, though you’re pretty bummed. That is, until the next day you find out everyone at that party died mysteriously. Everyone except the person who dared you to go home

There was a small thud that woke you up

You shot up from the bed confused and panicked

You got out of bed, grabbing your phone and checked the time

It was 2:22 in the morning

You leaned against your closed bedroom door trying to hear whoever or whatever it was

Whoever it was obviously hurt themselves because a loud “FUCK” rang through the house

Everything went quiet for a couple seconds

You wanted to call the cops but were frozen in fear

You ran to your window, contemplating jumping out of it and running far away from the house and whoever tf was in there

Like a deer caught in headlights your whole body perked up and jerked towards the door when you heard the cock of a gun cut the silence

You were terrified to say the least

You rly thought you were abt to die and mentally said goodbye to your loved ones

But what you thought were your final thoughts were interrupted by a deep voice humming a song only you and your soulmate knew

Never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down (BUIUBFBBEYFGI IM SORRY ITS THE FIRST SONG THAT CAME TO MIND GJOEIHIG)

Needless to say you were very confused and conflicted

For all you knew this could be some random stalker that heard you sing it and was trying to lure you out

But it was a bomb ass song

So you subconsciously began to hum with him

But then the humming stops and you hear hurried footsteps run up the stairs

You prepare your lungs to let out the loudest scream you can conjure but are stopped when a tall man swings open the door and smashes his lips to yours.

“I was going to kill you and steal all your stuff, would’ve been a shame to lose my soulmate”

Did you want to be at this party? No

But did you still go? Yes ofc

Why? Because the rather annoying miya twins dragged your ass to this lame party full of sweaty volleyball players

You sat on a couch, scrolling through your phone

You knew that they brought you so you could be their ride home and now you were just waiting for them to be so busted they want to go home

It was rather loud for a party and the house smelt like something was burning everywhere you want

Since your phone was about to die you pocketed it and just started to people watch

There you saw Kita, holding a red cup and observing the crowd just as you were

You were going to get up and walk toward him but stopped when you hurt someone shout “LETS PLAY TRUTH OR DAY”

There was a mix of boo’s and cheers and you found yourself being dragged into a messy circle of people sitting on the ground

You were smushed between two buff guys known as Bokuto and Iwazuimi (ima simp for the beefy bois)

The game started and there were weird dares and sexual truths and honestly you blanked out

That is until you heard a voice call your name, you looked up to see who it was that called you

And there Kita was, staring right at you

“Um...yeah” all eyes were on you and you just wanted to go home pff

“Truth or dare?” you instantly respond with dare because u didnt want to look like a pussy

“I dare you to go home, now.”

You were confused af????

Like bitch what type of dare was that so you just sit there wide eyed and confused

But then he repeats himself so without another word you just kinda get up and leave

You were supposed to drive the twins home but you decided that they could just ride with any of their friends

So u get home and put some pj’s on and go to sleep bc what else is there to do

Next morning you wake up to a shit ton of messages and emails from news channels

“House Party Ends With Everyone Dead”

You felt your heart drop and you felt like throwing up

But then you get a message on snapchat from none other than Kita

“Are you safe??”

-----

Requests are open!!

Link to writing prompt list: Here

Masterlist!!

ask me questions!!

[namelessayakashi]

For the Angst April Fic: 25 - Immortality

YES THIS WAS ONE I RLY WANTED TO DO TYSM HELL YES THIS IS GONNA BE AN ANGSTY ONE (also loving the new post editor on desktopppp [i have beta on])

Tysm for sending me this one ohhh I'm so happy you sent this one

cw: temporary character death, (technically) suicide (but in the context of proving immortality & bc he knew he'd survive, not because he was suicidal)

Fic below the cut

Immortality

Merlin breathed out slowly, the air leaving his lungs with a sigh.

His eyes fell shut, drooping slowly lower and lower until they closed, and his grip on Arthur began to loosen.

Faintly, he heard a panicked voice stumbling through words he couldn't understand.

He could feel his heartrate slowing. One... Two...... Three...... Four...... Five...... Six......

Slower, slower, slower...

His name, he heard his name being called. A choked sob. A tight grip around his body. Then, nothing...

Then...

Merlin inhaled sharply, his eyes opening abruptly. There was a harsh, stinging pain in his stomach. He ignored it for the moment, as he broke out into a coughing fit, desperately gasping for breath between coughs.

He didn't—what just happened? He was sure he had—

"Merlin?!" The voice ripped him out of his confusion as he quickly turned his gaze to the man cradling his body in his arms.

"Arthur...?" Merlin asked, his voice rough from coughing so much.

"Merlin, no, but you were..." Arthur's grip on Merlin loosened, his confusion clear as day. "We have to get you back home, back to Gaius."

Merlin just groaned softly, leaning his head against the King's chest. "'m tired..."

Arthur slowly stood up, lifting Merlin in his arms as he did so he was carrying him.

"Don't fall asleep, Merlin, dammit, you're such an idiot..." Arthur muttered as he began to walk, "we're lucky we're close enough to the edge of the forest, the attack spooked the horses... You can't just keep jumping in front of me like that, sorcerer or not, one of these you're going to—I thought this time you had..."

The sorcerer just groaned again and shut his eyes.

"I did..." He whispered, trying his hardest not to let sleep take him. He felt Arthur tense, stumbling in his step slightly.

"No, no you couldn't have, because you're alive," Arthur sounded more like he was trying to assure himself rather than Merlin. "You just lost consciousness for a few minutes. That's all."

Merlin frowned but didn't argue, not having the energy. Instead he just hid his face in Arthur's shoulder. He knew he died... He felt it. He felt himself die, his heart stop... Yet, he was alive. He was breathing. He was exhausted, and his entire body ached and his stomach burned where he was struck, but... He was alive.

How was he alive?

"Merlin... Merlin, my boy, I need you to open your eyes..."

Ah, Gaius, he must be home... When did he fall asleep? Slowly, Merlin opened his eyes.

"Gaius...?" Merlin groaned, looking around for the man as he blinked a few times to clear his eyes, "What happened? I—I died... But I'm alive."

When his eyes finally landed on the old physician's grim expression, a feeling of dread washed over him.

"Merlin, I'm afraid you're not going to like what I have to tell you," Gaius sighed, before sitting down on the edge of the sorcerer's bed. "Arthur brought you back, with a fatal wound in your stomach. He told me what happened and I am certain that you did not just lose consciousness, I am certain you died..."

"I did, I felt it happen, but, Gaius, I am alive," Merlin insisted, propping himself up on his elbows with a wince.

Gaius' mouth drew into a thin line. "You are, indeed. So, I did some research while you were out these past three days—"

"Three days?!"

"—and I discovered something... Something about your name to the druids," Gaius continued as if Merlin never interrupted him. "Emrys, it... Means immortal. And these events are leading me to the conclusion that they don't call you this for no reason."

Merlin's heart dropped. Immortal... He's... Merlin shook his head.

"No, no, there must be another explanation," he laughed, but he was not at all amused. Gaius sighed softly and placed a hand on his wards shoulder.

"I'm afraid there's not... I consulted Mordred, and he confirmed my suspicion. You're immortal, Merlin."

Merlin slumped down onto his magic. He felt ill... Oh gods, he felt so sick.

"But I can't be..."

Merlin took a deep breath as he paced the King’s chambers, waiting for him to arrive back from a council meeting.

How was he supposed to tell Arthur the truth?

He couldn’t lie—he promised, they promised. No more secrets, no more lies. But dammit, this was… This wasn’t just something like he had magic, or he’d ripped his favourite shirt.

He was immortal.

Oh, it felt so wrong to even think…

How do you tell someone you’re immortal? How do you tell someone you love that you’re going to live forever, that you’ll have to watch them wither away and die along with everyone else you know…?

Merlin took a nervous breath and let himself drop into a chair at Arthur’s table. He was going to have to watch everyone he’d ever loved die…

He was forced to live on for eternity while everyone he cared about struggled with mortality.

A cruel fate… Yet, the druids dared to call him blessed.

Blessed. That was a good joke.

How could one be called blessed when condemned to such a life?

Merlin ran his hands through his hair. He’d be alone… Never able to grow attached to someone, too afraid of losing them like he knew he would… A lonely life, he’d be sentenced to. Should he start pushing people away now…? Save himself the pain?

No, he couldn’t. That would be cruel to them, as well as himself…

“Merlin?” The sorcerer nearly leapt out of his skin at the voice to his right. “Merlin, you’re awake! And, up! How are you feeling?”

Merlin dropped his hands and looked over to Arthur, who looked so happy and hopeful at the sight of him. Here he was, about to crush that…

“I—” Merlin hesitated, and Arthur’s brows furrowed in a frown.

“You? You what?” The King pushed, concern flickering on his face a moment, “are you alright? You look like you’re about to be ill. Should you be out of bed yet? Gaius said you only just woke recently…”

A tense silence hung between them, as Merlin contemplated how to say the words that had been weighing on his chest. Finally, when Arthur looked like he was going to give up, Merlin found the courage to speak up.

“I can’t die,” he forced out, the words nearly getting caught in his throat. Arthur’s eyes widened impossibly wide, as he stared incredulously at his friend and lover.

Arthur opened his mouth, then closed it again, hesitating.

“…What?” He finally got out. Merlin gave a weak smile, knowing just how crazy it sounded.

“I can’t die,” he repeated, his voice breaking slightly as the reality of it hit him, this having been the first time he spoke the words aloud. His eyes stung, but he blinked away the tears as he stared at Arthur, holding eye contact. “I…I’m immortal, Arthur.”

Arthur let out a breath, stunned by the revelation.

Merlin expected him to laugh, to claim him lying, or even to leave the room or tell Merlin to leave. Even after all they’d been through, after the months they’d been together after finally getting their heads out of their asses and confessing… Merlin was shocked, only minorly but still so, when Arthur suddenly grabbed and pulled Merlin into a tight embrace.

He tensed a moment, startled, but slowly relaxed and returned the hug, burying his face in Arthur’s shoulder.

“I don’t really know what to say,” Arthur murmured, “what do you say when you find out your soon-to-be husband is immortal?”

Merlin huffed out a soft laugh. “I don’t know… I didn’t think we’d ever have to deal with that.”

Arthur hummed softly before falling quiet. They stood there, in each other’s arms for a few minutes, just…silent. Until, finally, Merlin pulled away with a shaky breath.

“Hey,” Arthur sighed, raising a hand to the sorcerer’s face and cupping his cheek, “we’ll get through this together, yes?”

“There’s not much to get through, Arthur… I’m going to have to watch everyone I’ve ever loved die before my eyes,” Merlin muttered, before leaning into the touch, “but yes, I won’t turn down your support…”

Arthur frowned at him a moment before exhaling and stepping back to stretch. “Let’s take your mind off this. I have some new legislation to review, come assist me.”

Merlin laid in Arthur’s bed that night, unable to sleep. His mind raced, and his heart ached as he laid on his side, staring at his betrothed.

Before, Destiny had weighed him down with the possibility that he’d be forced to watch the man he loved be taken from him. Now… Now, it was inevitable. He would watch as Arthur faded from life, no matter how he died. He’d have to watch him… He would lose him and he could do nothing.

It wasn’t just Arthur, either, he realized with a pang of hurt.

Gwen… Morgana, Leon… Elyan, and Gwaine, and Lancelot… Percival… Everyone. Everyone was going to be taken from him.

Gaius… His mother.

Merlin choked back a sob, closing his eyes tightly. Everyone. Everyone.

He could never have children.

Oh, gods, he could never have children… He—he’d be condemned to watch them grow old and die.

Was this really what fate wanted for him? What destiny planned?

How cruel. How unnecessarily, unbelievably cruel. What was the point of it? Why, why do this to him? Did they simply wish to see him suffer? Did the gods believe they were granting him a favour? Did they believe they were rewarding him, by subjecting him to a life of eternal loneliness and heartache?

Did they think it amusing?

“Merlin?” Arthur’s voice, thick with sleep, snapped him out of his spiral, “why are you awake, cariad? It’s the middle of the night…”

Merlin quickly wiped away the tears that had slipped free, as Arthur blinked open his eyes slowly and yawned. “Couldn’t sleep…” He mumbled, “what about you? Did I wake you?”

“Mm… Technically, no, but I could feel your eyes on me.” Arthur shifted closer and pulled Merlin against him, resting their foreheads together. “What were you thinking about? Oh, no, I know…”

He paused, yawning again, before continuing. “The immortal thing, hm?”

Merlin’s silence seemed to be all the answer needed, because Arthur sighed softly and pressed a tired kiss to his nose.

“You’re spiraling, aren’t you? It’ll be fine, Merlin,” he assured, sounding way too confident for someone who’s words were slurred, “we’ll figure something out… We always do. You won’t be alone… won’t let you…”

“I appreciate that, Arthur…” Merlin said truthfully, “now, get back to sleep… You have things to do tomorrow.”

Arthur hummed, closing his eyes again.

“You sleep, too…” He ordered as he drifted back to sleep.

“I’ll try,” Merlin promised, closing his eyes and tightening his hold on Arthur.

It was a sennight later that Merlin wandered the castle corridors with a frown on his face, eyes searching a head of blond as he walked.

Arthur had been acting strange since they discovered Merlin’s immortality, and now… Now he was just gone?

Merlin had searched the castle three times, and no one had seen him all day. He woke up without the King in bed beside him, the knights knew nothing, the servants knew nothing, Gaius and Gwen knew nothing…

It was like he just disappeared!

How does a King disappear?

Merlin took a deep breath, calming himself. He was worried, yes, of course, but he was also growing slowly angry.

How dare he just disappear without a word?! That man had better have been kidnapped for his sake. After another few minutes searching the castle, Merlin finally just stalked back to their chambers.

Arthur had better have a very good explanation when he got back, Merlin decided as he flung the doors open and stomped over to the bed before flopping onto it. Or else he’d getting turned into a toad. A big, ugly, slimy, wart-covered toad. And Merlin’s not changing him back.

Merlin groaned loudly into the duvet in frustration.

Stupid, stupid prat.

How dare he just disappear like it was nothing and leave Merlin there to worry like a mother hen over her eggs all day! He probably didn’t even realize how concerned Merlin was now.

It wasn’t like he was worried for no good reason, either, because that damn man knew how to get into trouble in any situation, and how the hell is he supposed to help Merlin deal with the fact that he’s immortal if he’s deadthanks to his own idiocy!

Merlin’s stomach turned at the thought, and he rolled over onto his back before sitting up. A frown creased his forehead, and he tugged his bottom lip between his teeth anxiously.

What if he really was in danger? What if he was really in danger and Merlin was here, thinking bad about him?

He should go look for him again.

He’s immortal, after all (yay), he doesn’t have to worry about dying protecting Arthur! Arthur, on the other hand, was a fucking beacon for assassins and danger. Right. That decided it.

Merlin pushed himself to his feet and quickly made his way to the door. Then, right as he moved to open it, the door opened to reveal the very prat he was leaving to save, and his heart calmed. He was safe.

“You’re safe…” Merlin sighed, visibly relieved. Arthur frowned in confusion and nodded.

“Yes… I am,” he agreed. Then, it hit Merlin.

He’s safe.

Merlin narrowed his eyes into a glare. “I’m going to turn you into a toad and squash you beneath my boot.”

Arthur’s eyes widened a fraction, before his lips pulled up into an amused smirk.

“Well, that’s rather messy—and graphic.”

“You deserve no less, where have you been?!”

“I was, with the druids, actually,” Arthur cleared his throat, looking away, “Morgana took me to see them.”

Merlin frowned, his glare disappearing to be replaced with a confused look. “What? Why were you with the druids? What took you all day with the druids?”

Arthur took a deep breath. “I… Needed their help with something. Look, it’s better if I just show you.”

The warlock raised an eyebrow, but let Arthur usher him into the room further, before sitting down at the table.

“Okay, go ahead, show me. What was worth making me worry my ass off?” Merlin leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. Arthur gave him a nervous smile before pulling a small phial out of his satchel and uncorking it.

Merlin tilted his head, frowning deeply. What was he…?

“Merlin, I’m immortal, too,” Arthur told him softly, and Merlin couldn’t help it. He snorted, laughing in obvious disbelief.

“Right, and I’m a god.”

Arthur sighed and hesitated, then raised the phial of liquid to his lips.

“Here goes nothing,” he murmured before downing the contents. Merlin watched, growing more and more confused by his betrothed’s actions.

It was only when the phial slipped from Arthur’s hands and shattered on the ground as his skin began to pale and hands began to tremble that Merlin realized what was happening, and panic filled his body.

“Arthur? Arthur!” Merlin was on his feet in seconds, grabbing Arthur by the shoulders as he began to go limp, the—what Merlin now recognized as—poison taking action too fast for Merlin to think of a solution. He didn’t even know what he took! How could he help?! Arthur knew he was shit at healing magic, which was ironic considering he worked with Gaius for so long! “Arthur! Dammit, what are you doing?! Fuck, what did you do?!?”

Merlin’s heart was pounding and tears were filling his eyes as his breath quickened. “Fuck! Arthur, you bastard!” He snapped, unsure what to do, as Arthur’s body slumped in his arms.

He felt the King stop breathing in his arms and he swore his own heart stopped. Then… There was a gasp. A loud, sharp gasp. Then, a fit of coughs wracked Arthur’s body, his shoulders shaking.

Merlin was frozen, stunned. He… He was… But now he was… He really is—

“Arthur, oh, Arthur what did you do?”

Once he had stopped coughing, and Merlin had walked them over and sat them on the bed, Arthur took a deep breath and smiled stupidly.

“I had the druids show me how to use the cup of life,” he explained in a murmur, “I didn’t want you to be alone, for eternity. Now you won’t have to be.”

Merlin stared in silence at his betrothed for a few moments, shocked speechless. Arthur glanced away, coughing a bit more.

“Remind me, to never take Hemlock again,” he muttered rubbing his throat.

That snapped Merlin right out of his daze and he cuffed Arthur upside the head.

“You shouldn’t have taken it in the first place! What in the hell were you thinking?!” He demanded to know.

“I was thinking you wouldn’t believe me if I just told you I was immortal!”

“I would’ve if you just told me you used the cup!”

“Oh…”

Merlin let out a high laugh, shaking his head.

“Yes, oh!”

Arthur bit his lip, before looking away sheepishly. “Sorry… I suppose, I was just eager to tell you that you wouldn’t be alone anymore…”

A soft sigh let Merlin’s lips, and he ignored the way his heart flipped. “You’re an idiotic prat, you know? A massive cabbagehead. But… You just gave up your mortality for me… And while part of me hates that you’ll now be subjected to the same pain as I will be when our friends’ times come… I can’t help but feel so…”

“So, what?” Arthur pushed gently, laying back on the bed. Merlin shook his head and laid back beside him.

“I love you… And I can’t believe you love me so much, as to literally give up your mortality for me.”

Arthur smiled and looked over at him, his eyes drooping sleepily (probably tired from dying).

“I’d give up anything for you…”