#I WANT TO TELL HIM THAT WHEN IM ANXIOUS I LISTEN TO ALWAYS YOU OR WALLS

[slytherinslut0]

jealousy. | slytherin boy headcanons

author’s note: im completely unhinged, as always. no surprise there. love me some angry snake men🥵 please enjoy.

-your boyfriend sees another guy flirting with you in the hall.

Draco Malfoy.

Sees you from down the hall as he’s walking with his friends.

“You know what, guys, I’ll catch up with you after.”

Would literally ditch his friends to make his way over, collecting himself as saunters up to you and mystery man.

Would instantly grab your ass, no hesitation, grip firm enough to bruise. When you gasp, caught off guard, he’d shift his arm up and around your shoulder, pulling you against him.

“What’re we talking about?” He’d sneer.

His voice would be laced with feign interest, smirking down at you with blaring eyes before shooting daggers at the boy.

He’d simply chuckle at you when you tell him nothing, just school stuff, leaning down to place a possessive kiss on your cheek as he grabbed your hand.

“Wonderful. let’s head to class, yeah?”

He’d pull you away from that dude, shooting him another look meant to kill, a silent warning not to fuck with him.

Finally gets you alone in an empty corridor or bathroom; would waste literally no time at all before pushing you against the wall and grabbing your neck/jaw.

“Who the fuck was that, hm?”, “he was practically eye-fucking you…give me five good reasons why i shouldn’t have him expelled or hexed into bloody Azkaban.”

He’d be furious, but he’d also know that you’d never choose some other guy over him, so he’d soften once he hears the innocence in your tone.

“You’re mine, princess,” he’d loosen his grip, kissing you softly. “Say it.”

Blaise Zabini.

Was listening to music while walking down the hall, instantly rips out his headphones the second he sees you laughing a little too hard with some dude he doesn’t know.

He doesn’t necessarily stop walking, but he’d definitely slow his pace, kind of just watching, not wanting to interfere but also not wanting to look creepy stalking you from a distance.

When the guy doesn’t leave, he’d tired of waiting, saying “fuck it”, before marching over naturally.

This man is so fucking cool calm and collected he’d just saunter right up and join in, making himself at home.

He’d practically take over the conversation because he’s literally just that chill in every situation, seamlessly fitting right in, so fucking charming and loved by everyone.

You’d kind of just end up staring at him, smiling in silent awe, knowing that this was his way of asserting his place, letting the guy know what the fuck was up.

After the dude leaves he’d just causally look at you, smirking that charming smirk, wetting his lips as he hooked an arm around your shoulder and pulled you close, leaning down for a kiss.

“Ain’t no one getting you without getting me too, babygirl.” He’d murmur against your lips. “let that be known, right now, forever, always.”

Lorenzo Berkshire.

Would literally stop everything. The second he’d see you laughing and smiling he’d be completely unable to focus on anything else and would completely zone out of any conversations with his friends.

Would get like super anxious and flustered pretty much immediately.

Wouldn’t want to intrude so he’d just kind of hang back, wait for you against the wall and try not to stare too much.

His adorable little cheeks would flush, and he’d know he seemed utterly ridiculous so he’d try to busy himself with his shoelace or something while he waits.

You’d quickly cut off the conversation and move over to him, instantly being able to tell that he’s overthinking.

He’d smile at you, though you could still see the concern on his features.

“Who was that guy, darling?”

You’d tell him he was just a friend from class, no one special at all, pulling him in for a hug and giving him a quick smoochie on the cheek.

“Don’t worry enz, no one could ever take your place.”

He’d blush, trying to play it off. “Sorry love, I know you’re my girl.”

You’d take his hand, squeezing him hard, never wanting him to doubt that for a second. “Only yours baby, forever.”

Mattheo Riddle.

“Who the fuck-“

Would literally whip his bag at Theo, hastily shoving through the crowded hallway with blazing eyes, tunnel visioned as he tried to figure out where the fuck this dude found the audacity.

You wouldn’t even have to turn around to know he’s there, you’d be able to literally feel the anger radiating off of him.

You’d already know exactly where this was heading, but you’d also know there was no attempting to stop him because it’s pointless. Everyone in the school knows that.

Matty does what Matty wants, and right now, he wants to fuck up this guys face for even thinking about flirting with you.

You’d simply look up at him, noting his tensed jaw and his dark eyes as he glances between you and the dude, before fixing back on you, wetting his lips before he says,

“Is this fucker bothering you?”

Unable to help it, you’d smirk, shaking your head as you calmly attempted to talk him down.

“No Matty, he just asked if he could borrow my study notes-“

He’d heard more than enough.

“Study notes? Yeah, I don’t fucking think so,”

Without giving the guy a chance to react, he’d reach for his collar, shoving his back against the wall, teeth barred and face contorted in a snarl as he’d hiss:

“Bother my fucking girlfriend again and the only study notes you’ll need are the ones on how to drink out of a fucking straw, understand?”

Not interested in the response, he’d shove the guy away, eyes softening instantly as he moved back over to you, thrusting a hand through your hair as he kissed you like it’d been a hundred years, right in the middle of the hall for everyone to see.

And judging by the intensity in his grip, you’d already know, later that night, he’d be extra fucking sure to ask you who the fuck you belong to while he’s fucking you.

When he finally pulled back, he’d smirk at you. “Some bloody nerve on that guy, huh?”

You’d just shake your head and laugh, taking his hand as the two of you headed for class.

Theodore Nott.

He’d spot you from down the hall, his eyes instantly narrowing, gaze darting around as though he was missing something, as though this was some sort of sick joke.

Surely, this dude is mentally unwell, right? There’s no fucking way that he’s-

Doesn’t bother to think about it for even another fucking second, instantly shoving through the crowd to make his way over.

Proceeds to wrap his arm around your waist, other hand finding your jaw and pulling your lips to his before you could even process it.

Would proceed to full-on make out with you in front of the dude, and I mean tongue and all, his grip on your jaw so tight you’d know exactly what he was trying to do.

His hand around your waist might even slip lower, grazing over your ass, and then that’s when you’d attempt to gather yourself and push him back, completely embarrassed.

He’d just shrug, smirking down at you before he’d finally acknowledge the guys’ presence with literally nothing more than a glare meant to kill.

“Move along,” he’d say to the guy while pulling you away, grip tighter than ever. “This one’s fucking taken.”

As soon as he got you alone he’d be damn sure to remind you that you’re his, and only his, making you beg and whine his name before he fucked you like you deserved the pain.

Tom Riddle.

“AVADA KEDA-“

Lowkey kidding but not really.

No one would even dare because that man would make it clear as fucking day what would happen if they tried.

[wonijinjin]

can’t get enough

author’s note: this fic is part of the 200 followers event, go check it out!:)

synopsis: you might think you are too clingy, but jeonghan can’t get enough of you.

word count: 0.7k | genre: fluff, bit of comfort | pairing: jeonghan x gn! reader | warnings: none

“hello angel. what’s up?” jeonghan’s voice echoed in the phone, shushing the boys in the background while waiting for your answer. “hello, are you here?” he questioned again, not hearing your voice, only silence. “actually, nevermind. have fun!” you whispered into the device, hoping to mask the sadness hidden in your words. “i know something is wrong. please tell me?” he stated in a serious tone, knowing how you were not telling him something you wanted to. “i miss you.” you admitted. he could hear the sleep in your voice, waiting for him to come home; they were on their monthly outing with the boys, the time already pressing 2am. “i know angel, i miss you too.” he answered with a sad tone. “but don’t get me wrong i love how you spend time with the boys baby. you should.” you quickly added, scared that he might think you were chaining him to yourself. “don’t lie. you hate it. you love it more when you are here too, don’t you, angel?” he giggled, knowing how much you adored his best friends. “i will come home soon, we are just finishing up.” you smiled softly at his reply, he always listened to your worries so well, dealing with you being clingy on a daily basis. you felt kind of bad about your constant nagging, but you couldn’t help it; you missed him the moment he stepped out of the apartment. “i’m gonna go guys!” he shouted to whom you believed were the other members as you could hear the creaking of his chair. “see you soon angel.” he hung with that, leaving you in silence again.

“i’m home!” jeonghan shouted into the distance, hoping you didn’t fall asleep and he didn’t wake you up if you did. he walked to the kitchen, seeing you baking something; it was common for you to bake when bored or stressed, he knew you were anxious about him getting home safely at this hour in the night. “hmmm, what are you baking this time, pretty?” he questioned while letting out a soft hum of approval upon smelling the sweet aroma in the air. “take a guess. it is one of your favourites.” you said while turning around to smear some of the frosting on his nose. “hey! i rush home to you and you put frosting on me?” he raised a brow, but you could see the grin hiding in the corner of his mouth. however your smile disappeared; the feeling of guilt not dying down even after making his favourite cookies. “im sorry i pushed you to come home sooner. i shouldn’t have.” you whispered with a frown. he quickly took on a serious and worried expression. “no no angel i would’ve left them not long after anyways. please don’t apologise. i get it, you worry about me.” he replied while tasting the cream on his nose. “by the way this is delicious as always.” he chuckled, seeing how your face lit up at his compliment. “are you sure you didn’t mind? i don’t want to be pushy or anything, i just love you too much, hannie.” he pulled you into his embrace, slotting your lips into a slow kiss. “of course i didn’t baby. i missed you too actually, these are so much more fun when you are there.” he said while hugging you tightly. you still looked puzzled so he asked you; “what is going on in your pretty little head?” you sighed. “i don’t know, i feel like i’m too much, like too clingy, you know? am i? answer honestly yoon jeonghan!” you threatened with the spoon in your hand, to which a giggle bubbled in his throat. “you are not. baby you are too little even. i cannot get enough of you, if i could i would carry you around in a backpack all the time like a little kitten.” he grinned, kissing your now red cheeks. “okay then, i believe you.” you smiled “but hey, i’m not a pet though!” he picked you up and spun you around in the kitchen, putting you on the countertop, looking right into your eyes, his own sparkling maybe from the wine he had earlier, maybe from being so in love with you. “of course you are not a pet. you are my angel, my princess my everything.”

[mcondance]

listen…hear me out…i’m imagining stu falling for a real sweet girl but this girl is like yuck i know your reputation playboy and since he’s obsessed with the chase he’s really gunning for it maybe even calling her as ghostface, getting her scared just so stu can swoop in and be like awh poor baby here i’ll keep you safe <3 big mean ghostface can’t get ya when im around

we should form a collaboration. (this got so long anon. i blame you. 17+) this idea has my brain turning like it gets him going so bad to scare you and then be able to come back and be your savior. it appeases the side of him that likes the chase, and the side of him that likes being in control. i think they’re both linked to his need for dominance and his sadistic nature so this is a win win for him.

you know him through sidney’s boyfriend billy, but you’ve never said more than a couple of words to each other outside of the friend group. aware of his reputation, your answer to his question is easy.

you tell him no, that you wouldn’t touch him with a 3-and-a-half foot pole. (he responds in typical stu fashion. he slaps a hand over his chest, expressing how hurt he is by your rejection, a knowing smile etching across his face.)

and so begins the chase. you turn him down over and over again, inviting sidney to the dates he asks you on, saying that the movie he wants to see with you just isn’t your taste— even if he knows he heard you talking to sid about how you wanted to see it just the week before, stupid little excuses to avoid everything he asks you.

he doesn’t mind. your rejections of his advances let him feel the way he does when he’s shrouded in that fearful black cloak, coming up with more and more ways to get you.

he keeps his distance— ghostface, that is. stu doesn’t want to scare you yet. with occasional phone calls that he directs to more people than just you, he lets you off easy, makes it seem like it’s just random.

but he’s getting a little anxious, and he’s always been impatient. he wants you.

billy and sidney are out of town for the weekend. and you’re terrified, more and more people close to you have been turning up dead. you resort to asking stu to stay with you for the weekend.

if he gets you to fuck him while he’s “protecting” you from ghostface? god he’d feel so good. he never forgets his alter ego, the slasher that terrifies your sleepy little town, but playing as your loving, caring little “friend” is fun too. he thinks you’re kinda stupid, to let him stay over at your house under the guise of keeping you safe.

you’d changed into your house clothes when you both got to your house, telling him not to touch anything while you were gone. when you came out he was in a t shirt and shorts, and he looked awfully good.

you’d let him have some of your snacks, throwing a bag of hot chips at him and perching on the other end of the living room sofa. you’d turned on some long ass video essay, and he actually found it sort of interesting, quizzing you on what certain stuff meant before you got tired and wanted to sleep.

he thinks, maybe you do have a thing for him. why else would you let a freak like him stay over? whatever the case may be, he’s here. in your pretty pink and white bedroom, he almost scoffs at the softness of it all.

“‘s cute.”

“yeah. i put blankets and shit on the couch. you sleep there.”

his lanky body barely fits on the small chair, but he knows he won’t be there too long, so he doesn’t complain.

the blanket you gave him smells like you, and he basks in it. your room is silent, for a while. in the darkness, your mind gets to you and you’re so scared even with stu right there.

“stu,” you whisper.

“yeah?”

“can you come sleep over here? i’m scared.”

there it is.

“yeah, ‘f course.” he feigns genuine sympathy, though you’re smarter than that and no matter how hard he tries, there’s always a sliver of depravity peeking through his words.

you scoot from the middle of your bed to the one side, lifting the covers up to let stu take the other side. too terrified to even get smart with him, you welcome him into your bed.

what a terrible mistake you’ve made.

in the light streaming through your windows, he looks gorgeous, blue eyes gazing softly at your worried expression.

“hey,” he starts, reaching out to rest his hand on your shoulder. you don’t shrink away. you’re frozen. “i got you. promise i’ll keep you safe.”

he’s full of shit. but it works.

“can you just. . just hold me. don’t make it weird.” you scoot closer to him.

“i won’t. come ‘ere.”

shifting, you move until your back is pressed to his front. he wraps his arms around you, cradling you and your fragile psyche in the palm of his hand.

“d’you think he’ll try and come for me?” you ask him.

“i dunno. but i promise i’ll do everything i can t’keep you safe.”

god, he impresses himself sometimes.

“thank you.” you whisper, the words stuck in your throat.

“no problem.” you can feel him looking at you, can see him out of the corner of your eye.

with his arms wrapped around you, all the feelings you’ve gained for him over the past weeks come to a head. he’s warm behind you, and he’s holding you just tight enough.

you twist around to where you can see him, and if you were standing your knees would have buckled from his gaze.

“if i let you kiss me, would you promise not to make it weird?”

“promise.”

“okay,” you breathe. and you kiss him.

what a terrible, terrible mistake you’ve made.

it all goes so fast from there. one kiss turns into many and you’re turning around so you can face him all the way.

he’s got you on your back and his hand down your shorts before you know it. his lithe fingers toy with you, his mouth swallows every single one of your sounds, his body provides you comfort, a distraction from the murderer desecrating your safe town.

you come for him. you make a mess on his fingers, the ones he knows are soaked with blood. he could almost shout from how elated he is to have you wrapped around his fingers.

over you he moves, pulled by his collar on top of you and to your lips again. he wants to be smug about it, to note the lack of 3-and-a-half feet between you two, but he doesn’t.

instead, he kisses you like a normal boy would kiss a girl he liked. instead, he professes his protection when you make him promise again.

instead, he kisses you through the stretch of him entering you. “‘s okay, you got it. doin’ so good.” he could blow his load now, at the sight of you in pain and pleasure, at the sound of your hisses and deep breathes.

he slides home. inches deep inside you and even farther in your mind, he fucks both. he’s done this before, fucked a girl in a show of devotion that she’ll fawn over, a false bridge of vulnerability that he inwardly laughs at. it brings him satisfaction he can only get one other way.

you feel safe. safe as he pushes his hips against yours, his cock kissing and sliding against every electric spot inside you. his hand is warm on your cheek, cupping your face and the other is firm on your hip. you whine with each rock into you, body tingling, ears prickling as he groans in your ear. sounds he’s only ever heard on the other end of the phone.

with slow, calculated moves he makes you come again, and god it feels good. in the back of your mind you’re embarrassed, cause all it took was being afraid for your life and stu got you where you know he wanted you.

but stu’s been in this situation enough times to know what comes next, and how to prevent it. it’s easy, kissing you before you have the chance to keep thinking and fucking you to another orgasm.

it happens again the next night. battered and paranoid, you’re being played into his arms and you don’t even know it. you’re embarrassed about it, but in your clouded mind it feels genuine. it feels like stu really cares. at first it didn’t, but now that he’s still coming around even after he got you in bed, maybe he does care.

sidney comes home and stu goes back to his and billy's place. you think you can calm down with sidney back and stu and billy coming over occasionally. you let stu stay the night in your room sometimes, and he gets what he wants from you again.

your neighbor's killed. what the fuck, when will this end? this time, stu comes over, and he stays. you can't sleep a night without him. you think you're being targeted. the only time you feel peace is when stu's fucking your mind away. you’re reliant on him. in his absence all you feel is fear.

the phone calls continue, and stu’s there to answer them, telling whoever’s on the other end to go fuck themself. again, he plays you into his arms. “don’t think about him. think about me.” he tells you, guiding your face from the phone beside your bed to his, and he lets you close the gap. he likes letting you make the first move. it fills him with pride at his psychotic deception, the way he’s turned you into exactly what you said you’d never be.

he thinks about sneaking out to don the cloak, showing up at your doorstep just to see the horror in your eyes. he resigns to dialing your number when you’re out, calling you and listening to your voice as you realize who’s on the other line. he follows you out sometimes and watches your paranoid moves, blood coursing hot through his body every time you look over your shoulder.

at your house, he comforts you when you crumple into his arms, suggests that maybe, you shouldn’t go anywhere without him. you accept.

god, what have you become. if you’re not full of stu then you’re full of terror, and he takes pleasure being the bearer of both of these things. you belong to him, your thoughts, your body, your feelings, it all belongs to him.

he loves to hear your go over his and billy’s crimes over and over again, lives for the disgust and fear in your voice when you recount the murders. he could probably get off to it, to your sad little words. and at night, he revels in being the only one that can make you feel okay.

you’ve become the perfect victim, and he didn’t even have to flash his knife. maybe he’ll keep you around.

[finelinevogue]

you’re okay

summary - you’re anxious but harry will always be there

a/n: im so nervous about hslot tomorrow so i thought i’d write this <333

“There he is!”

An encore of cheers for Harry fill the room as he runs in all sweaty, taking a short ten minute break before his encore.

His all black outfit is something to make you melt from how hot he is. You don’t even think he actually understands how gorgeous he looks right now. His hair is disheveled from running around on stage and his clothes are sticky with sweat.

You want to go up to him and give him a hug and a kiss for the show so far, but your anxiety roots you to the sofa.

You don’t even think you have anything to really be anxious for, but sometimes your nerves and shakes come over you when you least expect them. Your chest feels like it’s hollowing and your stomach feels like it’s swimming with butterflies. They’re both horrible feelings and you can’t seem to stop them. The shake in your hands in your only tell, to other people, as well as your bouncing knee.

Harry hugs a couple of people and he’s passed a water bottle by Brad. He guzzles it down quick and thanks him afterwards.

He then spots you, sitting in the plush velvet couch that he brings on tour with him. A sofa you both picked out together and Harry can’t be apart from.

Harry is quick to crouch down in front of you, putting a ring-filled hand on your knee to control the nervous tremors.

“Baby, what’s got you all anxious?” He asks softly, trying to keep his volume low so people don’t start to listen in.

“I don’t know.” You say, teary eyed slightly. “No. I’m fine, i’m fine.” You shake your head defiantly, convincing yourself more than Harry.

“It would be okay if you weren’t fine, you know?”

You nod your head and notice your foot now bobbing away because your knee couldn’t.

Harry keeps his focus on you. He doesn’t deter for anyone or anything.

“Sorry. I’m sorry.” You begun shaking your head instead and look down at where your fingers are fiddling with each other. You furrow your eyebrows as you try to think of ways to keep your tears back.

“I don’t need an apology, baby. If you need to apologise to anyone, it’s yourself, because you should be kinder to yourself.”

He moves in a little further towards you, using another hand to cup over your smaller ones. He holds onto you tight, grounding you.

“Sorry.” You barely whisper.

“I have to give fifteen more minutes of myself to all those people out there and then i’m completely yours for the rest of the night, okay?”

“Completely?” You look at him with hopeful eyes.

Normally Harry is busy whisked away to complete various business tasks or music recordings after his shows, but his words carry hope that it’s just you and him tonight.

“Absolutely. We can do whatever you want. The Harry Potter movies are on Netflix now, we could do a marathon? Or just watch ‘Goblet of Fire’? I won’t even get jealous when you fawn over Cedric.” He giggles and you can’t help but give a small laugh back.

You take the time to notice your hands have stopped twitching now, thanks to his, and your leg bounces are a lot calmer.

“Can we get a Dominoes takeaway too?”

“I’ll ask Jeff to call it in now, so it’ll be ready for us at 10:30, okay?” He squeezes your hands for reassurance. “Just promise me you’ll be okay for another 15 minutes. I’ll be as quick as possible.”

“I promise. I feel better now anyway.” You smile genuinely.

“Good.” He leans over to kiss your hands softly.

“H? We need you back now.” A member of the crew calls for him across the room.

“Go be brilliant.” You tell him.

“Go be brave.” He replies.

He stands up and leans over to kiss you, promising a proper kiss when he returns. For now you just enjoy a little kiss with your sweaty boyfriend.

He kisses the top of your head before turning to leave the room, screaming as he leaves; “I love you Y/N!”

All because of Harry does your anxiety slowly disappear and the warmth spreads over your heart once more.

[whorefortheevans]

How The Evans React to you Having an Anxiety Attack

Since im having an anxiety attack rn i thought this would be a good way to get a quick post out lmfao

CW: not proofread, all lowercase, anxiety

Tate

tate's always with you, even if you cant see him

he also cares more about you than he has anyone else, so as soon as you start showing signs of anxiety, he knows right away

watches you like a hawk

the second your leg starts to bounce and your breathing becomes shallow, he walks right over to you

he's not great at talking through emotions, but he lays with you and lets you rest your head on his chest

wraps his arms around you tightly

kisses the top of your head

if you cry it'll make him cry too lmao

Kyle

if you're with him at the frat house, he'll take you upstairs to his room away from everyone else

if you're not with him, he answers your call at the first ring and will drive over to you even if its 3 in the morning

kyle is super emotionally available so its really easy to talk to him about what's making you anxious

he's very affectionate

rubs your arms, legs, and back

talks you through your anxiety and gets you a glass of water

i feel like he would be big on journaling, so he would buy you a little journal for when you get too anxious

Jimmy

i don't think jimmy is very familiar with what anxiety is

given the time period, jimmy thinks anyone with anxiety was automatically admitted to mental hospitals, so you had to explain to him what general anxiety is

he still didn't completely understand it, but he tries to be there for you when you get anxious

he sits with you and lets you talk

usually doesn't have much to say, so he just gives you lots of hugs

he offers to go on walks around the camp with you

sometimes he'll put you on the back of his motorcycle and drive you into town to help clear your mind

Pre-cult!Kai

kai's parents definitely didn't talk to him about mental health

so when you start getting anxious, he kind of freaks out thinking something is seriously wrong with you

he feels a little awkward talking about feelings, but he listens to you anyway

will awkwardly put his arm around you hoping its enough

he uses his free hand to send an SOS text to winter

Kai

i hate to say this bc i love him...but blue-haired kai would not put time into talking you through an anxiety attack

he would tell you to skip that day's meeting so you weren't a distraction to anyone

he lets you stay in his bed and checks up on you every now and then

if you want to talk with him, just forget about it because if you even start to explain to him what's bothering you he'll leave immediately

he might ask winter to spend some time with you so you're not completely alone

if he's in a good mood after his meeting, he'll sit with you in his bed and offer to get you food or water

[megalony]

Beautiful Destruction- Part 2

This is the second part in my latest Evan Buckley series, I hope you will all like it. Feedback is always amazing, let me know what you think.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff

911 Masterlist

Part 1

Summary: Evan's self-destruct behaviour lands him in therapy, where he connects with (Y/n). Everything starts changing when she transfers to the 118 and their worlds collide.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So, your dad tells me you've joined the one-eighteen."

(Y/n) smiled around the rim of her coffee cup and looked down at the swirling puffs of steam circling into the air. She tried to curb her smile down and tame her reaction, she didn't want to seem overly keen or suddenly worried. But one look at Athena had (Y/n)'s eyes creasing at the corners and she put down her cup so it stopped morphing her smile.

"Any specific reason why… is it to do with your dad?" Athena perched her elbows down on the table and placed her cup down in front of her. She had been a little more than surprised when Bobby came home three days ago and told her that (Y/n) was the official new member of the team. The reason (Y/n) didn't join the 118 when she first became a fire fighter was because they didn't want anyone to think Bobby would favour her or lose his judgement with his daughter on the team.

"Felt like I was missing out," (Y/n) shrugged her shoulders while she shuffled forward on her seat and leaned over the table.

"Hm. You sure? I'm glad you both seem happy with the switch, it's just a little sudden."

"I fancied a change, I'm always listening out for their team on the radio, checking in, you know? Thought working with them might be easier."

It was partially true. (Y/n) did cling to the radio when she heard her dad's team attending to a call out or a rapidly spreading fire. She always listened when one of them was being taken to hospital and when they had their mayday calls and it made her anxious. (Y/n) knew if one of her dad's team got injured, it set off his own panic and she always wanted to make sure if he got hurt, she could go straight to him.

Moving to their team would stop that panic and give (Y/n) the feeling of being understood and looked out for. At least if she couldn't count on the rest of the team like her old station, she knew she could always count on her dad to watch her back and make sure she was alright.

"Well you're certainly your father's daughter which will shake things up in that place."

"No kidding. Eddie isn't sure what to make of me and Chimney is kissing my behind to suck up to dad. It's gonna take a while to settle in."

(Y/n) had only worked three shifts with the team so far but she was slowly finding her feet and falling into place with them. She had some medical knowledge and background which meant that while she gelled with Hen and Chimney, she also had a link to Eddie. He wasn't a paramedic like them but he was an army medic and (Y/n) and Eddie were on standby for any medical emergencies that got out of hand.

Hen seemed fine with (Y/n), she had heard about her from Athena, naturally, which was a good thing. But Chimney was gluing himself to (Y/n) so he could ask things about Bobby and try to stay on Bobby's good side. It was endearing but it was also a little unsettling.

Whereas Eddie wasn't sure what to do. He wanted to make her welcome, (Y/n) could sense that. But he didn't want to overstep the mark or do anything that would unsettle the foundations because she was Bobby's daughter that that automatically meant to tread lightly.

Evan was a whole other situation.

It felt rather easy to work alongside Evan and fit in. He automatically took to showing her the ropes and their way of doing things and his joking manner made things simple. They could have a laugh and try to play things cool so no one guessed there was something going on with them behind closed doors.

"You'll fit in just fine, especially after one of their parties." Athena rose her brows and grinned before she finished the rest of her coffee. A party would be just the thing to get (Y/n) officially intergrated into their team and have her become one of them.

If it was anything like the Christmas party, (Y/n) would be in for a treat.

She and Evan might have to abstain from the alcohol though. She could barely remember that night and she knew Evan didn't remember it either. Drunken nights of passion were all well and good, but not when both their minds were ticking time bombs.

When her phone buzzed in her pocket, (Y/n) put down her cup and dug around in her back pocket.

'Hey, kind of had a rough shift. Fancy a drink? Don't wanna be alone tonight. XX'

(Y/n) rolled her lips together as she felt her shoulders slump down. Her weight fell onto her elbows on the table and she sank her teeth into her lower lip.

That didn't sound good.

Evan didn't seem the type who would admit when he had a bad day. From what he said in therapy, he kept his problems to himself. Asking for help wasn't easy for anyone and he wasn't ready to do that yet, but this was close. He was admitting something was wrong and he was asking her for some sort of help. Drinking the night away might not be helpful, but (Y/n) could certainly give Evan some company and check that he was alright.

'Sure, on my way. XX'

"Do you mind if I head off?"

"Sure, you got plans?"

(Y/n) slipped her phone back into her pocket and drained the last drop of her coffee. Evan had timed that right. (Y/n) had come over to have tea with Athena and May who had already shot off back home before her night shift at the call centre. Since they had eaten and the coffee was empty, (Y/n) didn't feel bad about leaving. She had spent the majority of the afternoon with Athena, she could spare the evening for Evan.

"A friend wants to meet for a drink."

Again, she wasn't technically lying. She was just keeping some things to herself.

It surprised (Y/n) how quick it was to get from her dad's house over to Evan's apartment. She wondered fi Evan had realised how close he was to work and to Bobby when he moved in here. He probably did. He seemed like the kind of person who wanted to be surrounded by his family and friends, he didn't want to be far away from those he cared about.

Surprise and apprehension flooded through (Y/n)'s stomach all at once when she approached Evan's apartment and found the door unlocked. He had buzzed her in, logically he had unlocked the door too. But he normally waited for her to knock.

She knocked anyway and slowly opened the door, peeking her head round as she shouted a quiet, "Evan, you okay?"

Her eyes flitted to the kitchen and once she saw his broad frame, she shut the front door behind her and picked up the pace to go into the kitchen. She unhooked her bag from her shoulder and slung down on the counter but (Y/n) couldn't drag her eyes away from him.

Evan was leaning back against the counter next to the sink, pressing his lower back and hips rather tightly into the counter edge. He had one leg crossed over the other, one hand propped up behind him on the counter, presumably to stabalise himself. And a half-full beer bottle in his other hand. The way he rose the bottle to his lips and took a swig made his Adam's apple bob up and down and his neck tensed and flexed.

If she wasn't looking so intently, (Y/n) would have missed the way his head tilted to one side before correcting itself and holding straight again.

"Are you okay… what happened at work?"

He drained the bottle. In one swoop, the last half of the bottle was drunk and he let the bottle drop into the sink with a clash. The sound echoed through the kitchen and made (Y/n) shudder and when she pushed up on her toes to look across at the sink, she sucked in a deep breath. He'd had quite a lot to drink. A few beers, a few shots of vodka by the look of the empty bottle that they had cracked open last week and didn't finish.

"Cap sent me home." Evan's lips pulled into a tight grin that was full of sarcasm but it masked the pain well. The only trace of hurt was swirling in his baby blue eyes that burned into (Y/n)'s so much she felt like melting into a puddle on the floor.

"Why?"

"We had a car crash, the engine caught fire while I was getting the kids out… I got them both out, but they didn't make it."

Evan dropped his head down to stare at his bare feet for a while. It didn't matter that he got them out. It didn't make a difference when Evan crawled out of that car with one kid in each arm and heaved himself over to the ambulance just as the car exploded. All that mattered was his efforts weren't good enough.

Nothing he did was ever good enough and those parents would have to live without two of their three children. Evan couldn't help them.

"Did you get hurt?"

His eyes narrowed and a flash of uncertainty pooled in his eyes. His lips pressed together tightly and he braced both hands on the counter as his eyes followed (Y/n)'s approach.

He stayed still and deathly silent as she moved to stand in front of his legs and leaned her stomach into his like they were about to join in a dance. Her fingertips felt like heaven against his skin and her touch made his skin prickle with heat and adrenaline and his blood fizzled in his veins.

"Why? Doesn't matter, I'm still here-"

"It matters to me. It matters that you would of hurt yourself to get them out." (Y/n) didn't have to be there to know what Evan would have done. She knew he would disobey any order Bobby threw at him to get those kids out. And she knew Evan would of let himself get scolded, burned, scratched and torn apart if it meant getting them out.

He acted first and thought about the consequences later and when he had casualties like this, Evan wouldn't care about his own pain anymore. His turmoil would become irrevelant.

(Y/n) danced her fingertips over his exposed arms, taking in the state of his hands that had a few scold marks near the knuckles and fingertips. His gloves must have started to burn and melt. When she dragged his shirt up to expose his stomach, she watched Evan tip his head back and close his eyes. He wasn't going to stop her. He would do the same if things were the other way around.

No marks, bruises or cuts and burns on his stomach or torso. (Y/n) dragged her hands up to his shoulders and pushed up on her toes so she could lean over his shoulder. He had a minor burn on the back of his neck that went across his right shoulder, but it wasn't deep enough to require hospital treatment.

"Satisfied, baby?"

"No. I'm sorry you lost them, I know it's not easy." Her words made some difference because she wasn't just a girlfriend telling Evan everything was okay. She wasn't an outsider saying she knew what he was going through. (Y/n) had lost people in these situations too, she knew exactly what kind of pain would be rattling through Evan's mind and soul.

"Let's have a drink."

"Evan, baby talk to me-"

"And say what? I almost got crushed to get them out and what good did it do? I carried those kids to the ambulance and… and Bobby wouldn't let me tell their parents I failed them. He wouldn't let me explain how shit I am at this job, that I didn't do it in time."

Words tumbled past his lips before he could stop himself and he waved one hand out in the air before his fingers turned to scratch against his scalp and tug at his hair. He could feel his breaths running away without him and the panic started to bubble back up in his chest.

He hated the panic. It sobered him up. Evan drank to dull down those feelings, not to let them override him again.

"Hey,"

He tried to tilt his head back but he couldn't stop (Y/n) from cupping his face within her palms. Her thumbs brushed beneath his eyes and her fingers stroked against his cheeks as she tilted his head down so she could stand on her tiptoes and press their foreheads together.

They were close enough that Evan could taste her lips and feel each breath she took mingling with his own rapid, shallow breathing.

He couldn't stop himself from reaching up to cup her wrists, silently begging her not to let him go. He didn't want to be without some sort of touch and right now, her touch was the only thing grounding him to the Earth. He let his breaths run away without him but he focused his eyes on hers and shed as many tears as he could to get them out his system.

"Do you want to know what good you did today?"

Evan didn't answer, but he didn't object either, and (Y/n) took that as a sign to keep going.

"You gave those parents closure. One, two, ten seconds later, and they would have no bodies to bury. You don't know what that means to a parent, to have their children home when they pass away. My dad stopped you from telling them because he knew how they would thank you, and he knew you wouldn't be able to handle that. But that's okay, baby. It's okay."

(Y/n) closed her eyes and leaned further into Evan until she finally pressed her lips against his wet, ruby red mouth. She swallowed every little hitched breath and cry he let out, she let him dig his nails into her wrists and sink his teeth down into her lip. And she let his foot reach out and curl around the back of her ankle to drag her closer until every inch of her was pressing down on him.

Evan wanted to feel her weight pushing down on him. He wanted to be pinned between her and the counter to know that he was alive and feel safe with someone who cared.

"But I c-could of saved them-"

"Baby, you don't know that. If they were alive when you got them out, they might still have died on the way to hospital or when they arrived… like my mum." (Y/n) pressed another delicate kiss on Evan's lips while she continued to brush away his tears.

He didn't know what it meant to have loved ones back. (Y/n)'s younger brother died in their house fire years ago but her and Bobby were grateful to the firefighters that managed to get him out. And they were more than grateful that they got her mother out too. She died in the hospital but they still got her out and no one could have done anything more.

No one was blaming Evan; he had no reason to punish himself.

"You gave them back their children, and that's enough. You are enough."

Evan didn't know how important it was for family to have their loved ones back after they died. A lot of people didn't get that. Their families could die in a fire or drown in the sea or be lost and never come home or be found. Parents went to their graves not knowing where their children were and not having graves to visit or ashes to give them comfort.

By getting those kids out, Evan gave those parents that sense of closure. He handed them back their children.

He had done his job the best he could and there was nothing more that Evan could do. He had to come to terms with that and take solace in the small things. Evan needed to accept a little comfort and know he had done enough today.

Punishing himself wasn't going to help anyone when no one was blaming him for what happened today and no one ever would.

'I don't feel like enough.'

Those words were on the tip of his tongue but he couldn't bring himself to say them. Not to someone who would completely understand where he was coming from. Not to (Y/n). He didn't want her to talk him off that ledge, not quite yet.

"Deep breaths… let me make you some coffee." (Y/n) knew the silent message behind her words would reach Evan. She would try and sober him up a little, he didn't need a hangover to haunt him in the morning and he had drunk enough for tonight. Coffee would settle his system and that was what he needed.

(Y/n) kept one hand cupping his face and brushed her thumb across the corner of his mouth. She pressed her chest into his and leaned around him to flick the kettle on, but Evan shook his head.

He let go of her hands so he could wrap one arm around her waist and cup her hip. His nails scrunched up in her shirt and dug through into her skin and he reached his free hand out to grab the neck of the whiskey bottle tucked far back on the counter behind him.

"I think you've had enough, sweetheart."

(Y/n) could feel his resolve start to fade when she held his chin between her thumb and finger and tilted his head away from the bottle to face her. She tugged him down to her level and kissed him while her other hand reached out for his. She pushed the bottle back down onto the counter.

He had drunk enough while he'd been alone, but he wasn't alone now. She was here now and she was going to take care of him.

"I haven't, I can still feel the panic, in here." He let go of the bottle to rub his fist over his chest. The bundle of nerves were still igniting away in his chest and he wanted it to stop. Drinking stopped his panic, it dulled his overactive mind and calmed him down and made it easier to fall asleep. "Have a drink with me."

When his lips pressed against her temple, (Y/n) sighed and hovered her lips against his neck. But her fingers stayed tight around his wrist and she stopped him from reaching back out for the bottle.

She wasn't doing this.

(Y/n) wanted to help Evan, but drinking with him wasn't going to help. She wanted things to be good between them.

If they started to reply on each other to drink together and lose their minds, they would end up harming each other and destructing themselves. (Y/n) wanted to be a support system for Evan and in order to do that, she had to do what was best for him and drowning their sorrows wasn't going to work. (Y/n) knew a lot about relying on alcohol after seeing her dad go through that and she wouldn't let that happen with Evan too.

"Evan, if I drink the night away with you, it's gonna change us. We'll start destructing together, we'll egg each other on and push ourselves past the edge. And I don't wanna lose you like that. Let me look after you-"

A gasp tumbled past (Y/n)'s lips when Evan cut her off.

His hands cupped the back of her thighs and he swiftly hoisted her up off her feet and walked her forward to the kitchen island. He sat her down on the edge of the counter and moved to stand between her legs with his hands digging tightly into her flesh, moving her legs so she hooked them around his torso.

He kept one hand cupping her thigh but his other hand wandered right beneath her shirt, letting his cold fingers travel across her warm skin until she was squirming in front of him.

"Promise me."

"What?" (Y/n) cupped his face in her hands again and leaned her head forward against his.

"Promise you won't let me go. Stay with me, hold me, just don't let me go."

Each word rambled faster and faster past his lips until (Y/n) could barely focus on what he was saying. There was a sense of urgency behind his words and she found herself nodding along, whispering a promise against his lips that devoured her like she was his last meal on Earth.

His hand slipped down from her back to her bum and he pulled her off the counter, forcing her to sit on his hips while he started to walk away from the kitchen with his lips still attached to hers. He drank her in, inhaling and gasping against her mouth and groaning into her lips when her fingers tangled into his hair.

"How drunk are you, Evan? Is this you destructing?"

Her voice sounded like a lullaby dream in Evan's ears and he found himself smiling despite the tears that were still pooling in the corners of his eyes. He pressed his nose against hers and swiped his tongue out across her lip while he stopped at the foot of the stairs.

"Not drunk enough, baby." Her fingers tickled the back of his neck and he swooped down to attach his lips to her neck instead. "And no, it's not. You're my saving grace."

He wasn't trying to get her into his bed so he could use sex as a way of combusting. He was trying to drown himself in (Y/n) because she was the only thing standing between Evan the the void he was staring into. He would lose himself in her eyes, drown in her body and breathe her in until she made everything stop and put the world back to rights.

***

"Self-harming can come in a lot of different forms, it doesn't have to be physical injuries. It's anything we do that purposely hurts or brings us down in any way. Starving ourselves, forcing ourselves into dangerous situations to prove a point or to feel that risk of being hurt. Abusing substances for various reasons."

(Y/n) found her eyes zoning in on the wooden floor, focusing on the little chips and dents that made something pristine look broken and unkept. She could relate to what Harold was saying.

At one point or another, (Y/n) had done a lot of bad coping mechanisms to punish herself or as a way of coping with the world. They didn't always seem bad, but they felt necessary. Running head first into a bad situation despite being told not to because she felt like she deserved to be in danger and because getting hurt would punish her for the things she had done wrong.

"And in your jobs, where your main priority is to help people, if you can't do that… you can end up hurting yourself to cope or as a punishment." Harold rubbed his hands over his knees as he sat up a bit straighter. "Would anyone like to share?"

"I- I think it feels necessary, for me, rather than as a punishment."

"Okay, can you elaborate on that (Y/n)?"

Sitting opposite Evan in the same seats as last week suddenly felt like they were sitting on opposite ends of the ocean. He looked so far away when she lifted her gaze to stare across at him.

He had his arms folded over his chest, his knees bent out to the sides making his thighs look large and inviting and he was slouched down so he didn't look as tall. She knew Evan felt like he was the odd one out, both because he was new to the group and because he looked different. He was young, like her, but he carried himself like he could face the world, until he walked through those doors.

When Evan walked in here, his resolve changed and his control faded away.

"It's necessary to skip a meal because I can save more time, I can do more at work, I can get on with that call ten or twenty minutes quicker because I cut out something that isn't necessary."

"You prioritise?"

"Yeah… I'll take that sense of danger too. The higher the danger, the more adrenaline, the faster I move, the more I can think and act. My expectations rise each time until I'm thinking… skip breakfast, skip lunch, run into a fire without gloves on so I can grab things better and if I get hurt, then that's a good thing. It proves what I'm doing is paying off somehow."

(Y/n) had expectations of what she wanted to do when she was at work. She wanted to be efficient and eating meals took time. It was time to prepare food, set out the dinner and wash the plates and then try and work it off so she didn't feel too full or too tired.

Skipping that meal meant she felt more alert, more agile and she had an extra half an hour to prioritise and get ready and stock the truck.

When she was scared her adrenaline made her think better, the scarier the better because she worked better under pressure. And if that pressure got her hurt, that was okay, that was just the burden of proof of what she was doing and how it was paying off.

But (Y/n) knew the more she thought like this, the more her expectations would rise and she would never meet those goals she set herself. She would end up starving herself to the point of needing a doctor, she would forget safety measures and put herself at risk to be more efficient and helpful.

"And you know, when you don't meet those expectations, you push harder. But when you do meet them, it's not enough because you raise the bar." When (Y/n) nodded and stared down at her hands, Harold looked around the room. That was her telltale sign that she was done opening up. "Anyone else have any other harmful tendencies?"

"I don't take precautions at work anymore."

"What kind of precautions Evan?"

"When we had a factory fire a few weeks back, we were told to evacuate, but I knew someone was still inside. It wasn't safe and I knew going in could cost me everything, but I did it anyway… against orders."

"Why?"

"Because it doesn't scare me. Sometimes… I- I go void, you know? I have days or weeks of not being afraid to risk everything. I know I can do it, so I blunder my way through and I do it."

Evan hated it when he felt that way. He hated that blank, null and void feeling where death didn't phase him and the danger felt limitless and pointless. He ran back into that factory and found a way to get that man out. Granted, he needed the team to come back and help him, but Evan found that man when everyone else was willing to let him die than take a risk.

Evan didn't need the danger and adrenaline to fuel him, but he wanted it because without it, he felt like a zombie.

"Do you get that dopamine rush, when you complete what you set out to do? Does it feel like a reward for you?"

"Not always, that's the bad part." He slumped forward in his chair and leaned his forearms down on his thighs as his back clicked into place. When he didn't get that excitement or that relief at the end of the day, Evan felt like going home and never waking up. What good was the job to him if it didn't give him that boost and that reward or knowing and feeling that he had saved someone?

"So then you keep running into that danger, chasing that high and gratification. What happens on a bad day, Evan? When you're stopped from running into that building or when all your efforts don't work?"

"I drink. I go home, I drown, and I don't wanna get up. I lost someone two days ago on the job and I… fuck, I… I've never felt like that before, but if I had a gun, I might of used it."

Tremors rattled through (Y/n)'s stomach and her arms bound around her chest to stop herself from crying. They weren't really meant to mingle and it was a conflict, her and Evan being in the same therapy group like this. She couldn't afford to give them both away and admit that Evan meant much more to her than a stranger in a weekly meeting.

But how could she stop herself from crying when he'd just admitted the job was killing him?

Being a fireman was his saving grace, it was what Evan wanted to do and he couldn't see himself doing anything else. But losing someone had nearly taken every ounce of him. It wasn't fair. Not when Evan did his level best each and every day and he helped so many people, but now he felt broken.

"Can I ask why it hit you so hard?"

"Because I got them out! I- I had then in my arms, and my efforts did nothing. If my best can't save someone, if it's n-not enough, where does that leave me? So I drink, a lot, and I would of carried on if-" His baby blue eyes welled up with tears and for a split second, he let his eyes linger on (Y/n) before he looked down at his hands and tangled them together. "Uh, if I had more alcohol in the house."

A close save.

Evan would have drank the bottle of whiskey in his apartment and the rest of the beer in the fridge if (Y/n) didn't come over when he asked.

He would of woken up the same way he did when Maddie found him if (Y/n) didn't help him. And he would do it again and again because the drink stopped the panic and the panic fuelled his bad thoughts and turned him on himself.

"Okay. You said before that you binge drink, Evan this is only a suggestion, but I think abstaining from alcohol might be useful. You sound like you're on the path to abusing it and that is a hard path to stray from."

Harold tried to word it as carefully as he could, but he was only saying something that Evan had already been thinking about.

Something that (Y/n) had already talked about.

She didn't want to keep drinking with Evan in case they both got on that abusive path of drinking when their problems worsened. They would end up drinking after every bad shift, drowning the night away and using alcohol to make things better. Then where would they be if they needed a drink to get themselves through a shift at work?

(Y/n) wanted to be Evan's support system and if they were going to help each other, they needed to acknowledge some of their problems.

Alcohol was starting to be a problem for Evan.

He nodded before he bowed his head and hung his hands down between his thighs.

Suddenly, the room felt like it was expanding, like the floor was growing and creating a distance between him and (Y/n). And Evan wanted to run across the room and drop his face into her neck and curl his arms around her waist. He wanted to anchor himself to her, tether his body to hers until he wasn't afraid anymore. Until the night faded away and the day seemed bearable.

Right now, Evan didn't want a drink. He just wanted (Y/n).

[soursturniolo]

I’m ADDICTED to angsty fics where Matt or chris get in an argument with the reader and they move their hand and reader flinches and then it’s all soft and comforting and sweet PLS WRITE THIS I NEED MORE OF THESE FICS KAY

I GOT YOU BABY

Trauma Response • Matt Sturniolo

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo/Reader

Summary: An argument triggers the reader, and Matt is there for comfort and support.

TRIGGER WARNING: light discussion of a past, physically abusive relationship. If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, know that you are not alone and there’s help out there. Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233, or text START to 88788

“I just wish you would listen to me this one fucking time,” Matt gritted out, voice low and irritated.

“Matt, it’s just a little get together, and my best friend is going,” I explain softly. I hate confrontation, Matt knows this, but he’s being so insistent that I don’t go to this little kickback tonight and I don’t understand why.

“Tell her she shouldn’t go either! I’m being so for real right now, people I know going to that party are bad news, babe, don’t go.” He demands, stepping closer to me, at this point we’re maybe a foot apart from each other, standing in the middle of our bedroom.

“Why are you being so controlling right now? This isn’t like you, Matt, and I don’t like it,” I tell him, crossing my arms.

“IM NOT!” He yells, making me roll my eyes.

“Yes you literally are,” I tell him.

Matt lets out a loud and frustrated groan as he brings his hand up quickly. I immediately flinch away, shrinking in on myself as I step back.

Everything pauses.

“Baby?” Matt asks, voice soft and sounding heartbroken. I peak up at him, and see where his hand had went. He was reaching up to fix his earring, not what I had instinctively thought. His gaze is sad and concerned, eyes wide and teary looking as he gazes at me.

“Matt, I-“ I start, but my voice shakes and I can’t find the words to say right now.

Matt slowly lowers his hand back down from fixing his earring. He also takes a step back from me.

“You think I’d hit you?” He asks me, voice breaking at the end.

“N-no, Matt, it’s not,” I trail off, once again having trouble speaking. I still feel panicked and anxious, but I know it’s past traumas affecting me right now. I know Matt would never lay a hand on me that way, logically. He’s not that kind of man. But trauma and logic don’t always get along, and Matt doesn’t really know about my past trauma.

“Are you afraid of me? Baby, please, I don’t care how angry I ever am, I’d never-“ Matt has to pause as he gets choked up. A tear runs down his cheek and I break, beginning to cry as I step forward, wrapping my arms tightly around him as a burrow my head into his chest.

“I’d never hurt you sweetheart, never, I don’t want you to be afraid of me” he says, sniffling lightly as I feel him press a kiss to my head. I nod against his chest. We stand there in the middle of his room just holding each other for I don’t know how long as we calm down. In this moment, Matt needed the comfort just as much as I did.

Once I feel back in control of my emotions and my anxiety leaving my body, I pull back slightly so Matt and I can look at each while still in each other’s arms.

“Matt, I know you’d never hurt me, I know that and I need you to know it too,” I tell him softly.

His eyes are red and watery still as he nods.

“I promise you I’d never, I love you,” he tells me, making me smile.

“I know, I love you too,” I respond.

He then asks the question I knew would come, but was dreading.

“Why did you flinch away from me, though?” He asks me gently.

“You know about the guy I dated before you? The one I never talk about,” I begin, to which Matt nods.

“I’m not ready to talk about it all, but sometimes, he’d get physical with me when he was mad, that’s why I flinched. That’s why I hate confrontation so much, it can take my straight back to that feeling I had with him” I explain.

Matt’s jaw clenches a bit as I see him swallow dryly. I can tell hearing this is hard for him, which I hate.

“Hey, I got out, that guy is states away with no idea where I am, I’m safe now, I’m with you,” I assure him.

He nods, and pulls me back into his chest, his arm snug around my waist as his other hand comes up to cradle the back of my head, holding me firmly but gently to his chest.

“I’m so sorry you were ever with a guy like that. I swear to you, I’ll never hurt you. I’ll never lay a finger on you in any way you don’t want. No matter how upset or angry we are. I love you.” he vows to me.

“I love you too,” I tell him, before leaning up and kissing him on the lips. He kisses me back so softly and gently, like I’m made of fine china.

“Thank you for trusting me enough to share that with me, I know even talking about that a little bit has to be hard, baby. I’m so proud of you, you’re so strong,” he whispers to me as he reaches up and tucks a piece of my hair back behind my ear.

“Thank you, Matty,” I smile.

“I’m sorry I got so upset about the party you want to go to with your friend tonight. If you want to go still that’s fine. I can’t control you, and I’m sorry it came off that way. I just know some of the guys who plan to go tonight and they’re all bad news. Really bad news. And I don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all” he explains to me.

“No, you’re right then, if they’re bad news I’d rather not be around that, I’ll text her and let her know too, we shouldn’t go,” I agree.

That evening Matt and I stayed in, opting to watch a movie in bed together. As I drifted to sleep, surrounded by warm blankets and Matt’s arms, I knew I’d always be safe and looked out for, and I’d never have to worry about going through anything like my past relationship brought me.

[lilystyles]

bloom.

part four of the no strings attached series by @lilystyles

no strings attached masterlist & main masterlist xxx

authors note part four is hereeeeeee!! IM SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO WRITE THIS. i was drowning in assignments these past few months which is why it has taken me so long. i am now on my winter break yay, so i should be able to update more regularly thanks for the patience and love XXXX

brief description y/n and harry go to dinner and something stronger blooms between them.

warnings! smut (f!receiving, blowjob, sex, cumplay, loss of virginity but is all very romantic) unprotected sex (pls wear a condom), swearing, alcohol abuse, overall just a mature read. around 11.6k words. (she's longggg omg)

inexperinced!virgin!reader x fwb!harry

* * * * *

Harry and Y/n had managed to keep their new ‘relationship’ a secret for a little over a month which Y/n was very proud of, normally she couldn’t lie to save her life. He’d come over most weekends or she’d go to his and they would eat food, sometimes they’d cook sometimes they’d go out, they would watch films, sometimes at home sometimes in the cinema. But by the end of the night after a few wines and with an old soul record playing in the background they’d pleasure each other. 

It was simply perfect. Whatever, wherever they were at was the happiest they had ever been. Except maybe the few Christmases they’d had together as roommates.

Y/n had never thought she could enjoy someone else’s company this much. Within time she grew the most comfortable she ever had been with someone. He’d seen her naked, he’d seen her cry, he’d seen her bleed, and he knew all of her secrets. She felt so free around him. It was a wonderful feeling, she only wished she could tell her other friends about it and how great it was. How happy she was, how happy he made her. This free feeling? Did they have that too? Is that why they’d always encouraged her to get a boyfriend and put herself out there?

But she knew it was just easier this way — their own little bubble. Keeping it their little secret. Sometimes things went to shit once they were said out loud. She’d noticed that and was worried if she shared it with them he would disappear.

They still hadn’t had sex yet, Harry wanted to wait for the right moment for that. He knew that virginity was a silly construct but he still wanted her first time having sex to be something she wouldn’t regret. He couldn’t live with himself if he ruined that for her. He didn’t want it to feel forced and corny and like it was this dramatic live changing event but he didn’t want it to be in the back of a car in a dark car park either. He wanted it to be a nice moment. She’d been ready for weeks, since that first night even. But when Harry told her waiting was the right thing to do she listened and was grateful for his delicate handling of the situation. He was more experienced so she listened.

She trusted him.

When Harry got a text from James that day that the guys all wanted to go on a camping trip for a long weekend in the middle of spring, he called her immediately. 

After a few rings, she answered. “Hi, Haz!” She sounded breathless but chirpy.

“Hey, Lovie.” He could hear clatter in the background. She must’ve been up to something. A loud bang echoed in his ear.“What are you doing, Cheeky?” He said in a playful tone.

She giggled. “I’m attempting to perfect a cookie recipe. I had a bit of an anxious day, so I needed a distraction.”

“Why didn’t you just call me? I’m happy to distract you.” He said softly, grabbing a jumper from his cupboard. He was about to ask if he could come over, not that he needed to at this point.

She wondered for a moment if he meant that in a sexual way or not. Because everything had begun to blur. Sure most of the time when she saw Harry they’d pleasure each other, but sometimes he just held her warmly in his arms. Sometimes they did nothing at all. What did it all mean? Sometimes he felt like a boyfriend, most of the time actually.

“I’m sure you have a life outside of being my distraction.” She said stubbornly, mixing the batter in the large bowl. Her arm was aching. The smell of spices and ginger filled her nose, her biggest struggle when baking was usually not eating all the batter.

“Not really. So, can I come over?”

She giggled again, softly. “Of course. See you in 20.”

“Getting in the car as we speak.”

“Drive safely please.”

He smiled. “Always, Bun.”

When he arrived at her apartment he barely had to knock before she had already opened the door. 

“Hi, H!” She chirped.

“Hi, Petal.”

She opened the door wide for him. “Come in.” She was in a pair of boxers he had left behind a few nights ago they were dark blue and a tight old One Direction shirt. She’d supported them in the early stages of their career, that shirt was from way back when. She was covered in flour and other cooking ingredients, looking as adorable as ever. Wearing those ridiculous bunny slippers of hers.

He shut the door behind him following her to the kitchen where something good was cooking. She was making another batch of her cookies (she was famous for them).

“I thought you could give these to Gem and Anne when you see them, you said they were coming down last time you were ‘round. Of course, you don’t have to. But I miss them, and they used to like my cookies.” She said shyly, suddenly feeling embarrassed. He never took his eyes off her.

He grinned stepping closer to her with his arms wide. “You are the cutest.”

She blushed. 

“You should come to dinner.” He pulled her into his chest, chin resting on her head. Smelling the scent of her delicious shampoo as he squeezed the plump flesh of her arms and shoulders.

She looked up, arms still wrapped around his hips, “That isn’t very friends with benefits of us though, is it?” Tucking her head into his chest, he smelt so good today. Like every day. The woodsy fresh bodywash he used was still very strong on his skin and his hair was extra fluffy. He must have showered this morning.

“I’d have asked you, either way, Love. Y’know Mum adores you. Gem too.”

She looked up. “Okay….When is it?”

“Tonight, that’s sort of why I wanted to come over. And, did you see the text James sent?”

She shook her head and walked over to the living room and found her phone buried underneath the dozens of blankets. She now saw the chat flooded with texts. 

JAMES

Hi guys! Is everyone free next weekend for the long weekend? Me and Daisy have planned a lil getaway at the beach. We would love to go all together like the old times. Bring a tent and gear. X

DAISY

 and bring your party pants!!

OLIVE

I’m so there. :))

FINNLEY

I’ll check, I’ve got exams coming up. 

But fingers crossed.

PENNY

i am definitely coming !!!

MICHAEL

Yes bet bet. Sounds like a plan

JAMES

Harry? Y/n? U two in?

She looked up. “Sounds nice, a lil’ getaway.” She liked the idea of doing nothing with Harry by the beach and amongst nature.

“I’ll go if you go.”

That made her smile and she looked down before typing.

me and harry shall be there xxx

After that, Harry managed to get roped into helping finish the cookie decorating before Y/n rushed off to get ready for dinner. Harry had booked a swanky restaurant, so Y/n felt like she had to dress up just a bit more than their usual dinners.

Once she was out of the shower, she stared annoyedly in her towel at her options. 

She remembered when Harry used to come home from touring and Anne would throw these big but intimate dinner parties and invite all his family and friends. Y/n could just wear jeans to that and they’d all bundle up around a bonfire after dinner and look at the stars. Harry and her would share a wine or two and it was simple. Harry loved how normal he felt with Y/n, even the memory of her was enough to ground him. He was glad she was back in his life, and he felt now he was ready for it and ready for her.

Harry came down the hall to her room and sat down on her bed grabbing one of her teddy bears and cuddling it in his big arms. The sight was rather funny, this big tattooed man and a little pink teddy bear cuddled up in pretty feminine soft-looking bedsheets. “I’ve got to change and pick some gifts up from back home before we go, is that okay?” He asked watching her dig through her clothes.

She nodded. “Of course! But what should I wear? What do you think?”

She was oddly nervous about tonight even though every Christmas when she went home to Holmes Chapel she went over to Harry’s Mums house for a drink and sometimes had the odd text with Gemma. She was still in contact with that side of her life it was just now she was Harry’s date to dinner. But she wasn’t his girlfriend but they’d think she was and what did that mean? Anne and Y/n’s mother had wanted them to get married for years now since they were around 10. Would this be the new talk of the town between all the mothers? She knew it was likely. Gemma was probably bringing her partner Michal, so it felt really official or something. 

He watched her, her eyebrows were furrowed in concentration as she stared at her cupboard. 

“I’m just wearing a shirt and slacks. Simple.” He replied. “Don’t think too hard about it, you’ll look pretty in anything, Bun.”

“Harry, I bet all of your outfit is custom-made Gucci. I can’t compete with that!”

He bit his lip to hold back his laugh. “Lovie, calm down. Don’t work yourself up. Just wear somethin’ you feel nice in. If yeh’ worried about me caring that’s silly, I like yeh’ in anythin’.”

She remained frowning and started to dig through the dresses she had. She found one hidden amongst them, she wore it to her birthday once. It was a long golden slinky dress with lace detail on the hem and neckline. It was very delicate. And even though it was spring she knew it would still be chilly that evening so she grabbed a long brown coloured coat from off the door that she had been wearing most days to Uni. It was warm and woollen and she loved it.

Harry busied himself by scrolling through his phone while she got ready. It didn’t take her long, once she was happy with her outfit and had added a light pink scarf, a handbag and some shoes she went to the bathroom to do her makeup and hair. 

She had already blow-dried her hair before and it was in a lovely natural state so she didn’t bother changing it. For makeup she kept it simple, only enhancing her features. When she was ready and came out Harry looked up upon the clicking of her heels. 

His cheeks turned pink at the sight. Jesus. “Beautiful, Bun.” He felt no words could do it justice.

She blushed a bit too at those words and that admiring expression of his. “Thanks, Harryyy. Ready? I’ll get the cookies and lock up and then we can go, okay?”

He nodded at her standing up and following her lead as she’d put the cookies into a tin. 

Once she grabbed everything else she needed they got in Harry’s car and headed to his house.

Y/n was browsing Harry’s playlists and noticed a new one in there which was unnamed only with a pink heart as the title. He wasn’t really paying attention to her on his phone, his hand was carelessly thrown on her thigh and the other the wheel, they were both pretty silent, it was calm. So he didn’t notice her scrolling through the songs — it was this soft, romantic, sleepy, soul playlist. Full of a lot of her favourites and it felt like a cosy evening. So she put it on and placed his phone back into her lap. 

Harry’s ears pricked up at the sound of the song, she’d found the playlist. Was it obvious it was for her? Well, about her?

“You found it.” He whispered, the song was only softly playing as background noise. He didn’t have the radio up loud. So she heard him.

“Yeah, it’s like all m’favs.” She said, smiling gently. 

He contemplated saying it, feeling his heart speed up as he spoke, “I made it f’you.”

She finally met his eyes and gave him this dazzling toothy grin. “Aw, that’s nice, Haz. Really sweet.” She leaned over kissing his cheek. She laughed when her lipstick left a stain and she rubbed it. “Sorry.”

He just gave her thigh a squeeze in reply worried he might reveal himself if he said anything else and a few songs later they arrived at his house. He told Y/n she could wait in the car because it would take him 10 minutes max to get dressed. 

She nodded and scrolled through her Instagram while she waited and then replied to a text from her Mum before she turned her phone off and waited in silence. He was quick as promised and when he came out the door he was looking devilishly handsome. 

She felt her body react to it. Her cheeks turned pink, her pupils grew in want, and her hands itch to touch him. Her heart was hammering against her chest and she felt a familiar twist of want in her stomach. He was in a silky black shirt that was long and tight on his muscular arms, his buttons were undone and showed off his tattoos. Which reminded her of when he had his long hair and he was this pure sex god rockstar of a man. He had a pair of black flared pinstripe trousers to match and a pair of black boots with red detailing. He looked so good she wanted to faint. She felt her thighs squeeze in want and she sighed at herself, don’t be such a perv!

He had added some extra rings and jewels from his usual bundle. Something caught her eye. It was this golden pendant with a moon and star on it, she’d bought it for him for his 19th birthday, when they first started living together. She hadn’t seen him wear it in a long time, she’d forgotten she’d even bought the thing. Y/n remembered buying it. Harry had been with her, they were at a market full of random things looking for cheap furniture for their place. 

They were walking past this large jewellery stall and both admired the rings and style. It was different from the normal places they’d seen. They had tonnes of it. A glint of something gold had caught her eye, it was that pendant. It was one of the only gold among the silver. She touched it in admiration and Harry peered over her shoulder, saying it was pretty and he liked it. Harry said he thought it was cool and matched a lot of his other jewellery. But without much thought, he walked off to look at some couches in the next stall. 

Y/n knew his birthday was coming up and asked the jeweller how much it was. He was this eccentric gentleman, who smiled at her. Showing the matching ring to her which was very dainty and feminine that she didn’t even think would fit Harry’s fingers. She explained that she just wanted the necklace as a gift for someone. But he said that he would not sell either piece without the other. At the time he explained it was made for two lovers, so they’d always be together, but Y/n replied it was just for a friend, truly believing he was just trying to get more money out of her. But now looking back she and Harry loved wearing them and matching. It cost her more money than she could afford at the time but she was drawn to it. Something magical in the crafting of them.

Her hand reached over to touch his neck fingers touching the chain. “Oh, my god. I forgot about that.”

He grinned. “Found it the other day.”

She wished she knew where the ring was. “I remember that ol’ thing.” Sometimes when she was in the crowd or if Harry knew she was watching the show, in the early stages that is, he’d lift up the pendant and kiss it or touch his heart where it lay. Especially if he was playing a song Y/n liked (or that was secretly about her). Sweet Creature was one he wrote for her.

When they arrived in a rather fancy area of London with very expensive restaurants and hotels, Y/n could’ve laughed. They’d both grown up okay, but they were just normal working-class families and they weren’t spoiled. She wished she could go back and tell young Harry who was always working away on his singing that’d he’d be here. She wished she could run into the bakery and tell him he’d be the most famous man ever. Tell both the young kids who were working selling pastries and bread that they would be here in a short time, together.

The valet collected the car and Harry slinked his hand into hers when they stepped out, and Y/n thought she spotted someone giving them a double-take. They quickly entered the restaurant, and the concierge took their coats for them. 

The restaurant was warm and heated, with all these crisp white tablecloths, mood lighting, and crystal glasses. The waiter immediately guided them to their table which was a fancy booth and Anne was already there waiting. She got up and instantly pulled Y/n into her arms. 

“I’m so glad Harry brought you, Darling! It’s so good to see, look at that gorgeous face of yours.” She squeezed her cheeks and kissed her forehead leaving a big mauve-coloured lipstick stain there. Y/n grinned so big and pulled her back in for another hug whispering sweet comments.

Anne was so lovely, Y/n had always loved her. She made one of her favourite people, and it made sense why he was so respectful and kind. So perfect.

Harry was next to be welcomed, bending down to be fussed over in her arms. Anne questioned if he’d been eating enough and began a tangent of worried remarks. He was such a momma’s boy, he could only smile gently at her.

When Gemma and Michal arrived they greeted Y/n too with hugs and kind comments and once their meals arrived all her tensions eased. She now knew she had been silly to worry. Harry’s family were just as lovely as him. She knew that already and this pressure of her being his date was stupid. They already liked her, they knew her, and they’d seen her grow up beside Harry. She was just Y/n and he was just Harry.

They ate wonderful dinners and drank expensive brands of champagne, along with some fancy French dessert Y/n had never tried that Harry insisted she ate. It was a perfect night and she was sad to say goodbye to them all. When Harry dipped to the bathroom for a minute Anne pulled her aside. 

“I’m so glad you two are getting closer again, you’ve always been my favourite of his girlfriends. And these cookies! So delicious, I love when you send them over at Christmas time. Harry steals the whole thing of them, usually. No one can keep their hands off them. Ever thought of selling them?”

“Thank you, Anne. Thanks for letting me come, I hope I didn’t intrude on your family night.” She didn’t have the heart to tell her otherwise. She wished she was one of his girlfriends and she was glad someone appreciated her cookies.

When Harry back came from the bathroom he saw Y/n hugging his mum, and his heart melted at the sight. 

Y/n was good with people, and his family had always loved her. She was so gentle and well-mannered. Their Mums were very close too which helped. When they had drifted Anne still updated him that Y/n was doing well, and he was always pleased to hear that.

Harry said his goodbyes too and promised them something about bringing Y/n to another family catch-up, she just smiled warmly with pink cheeks at the idea. She was leaning into his side, his big arm draped over her shoulders as he kissed her temple. 

The valet handed Harry the keys and they slid into his car before driving back home finally. It was around 10 in the evening and Y/n was absolutely blissful, her hand had found his lap stroking his thigh gently as a light patter of rain began to fall down on the windows. 

“You were wonderful tonight. Mums’ always loved you though, Petal.” His eyes were on the road but he was grinning anyway — unable to contain it. He felt so fucking happy.

She grinned softly. She was pretty sure she was all heart eyes for him right now. She imagined she probably looked like one of those cartoons where the guy sees a pretty woman walking down the road and his eyes pop out and his head starts spinning. 

“Thanks for bringing me, Harry. It was lovely. I had a really nice night.”

He looked at her as if to say ‘duh’, “Of course, I’d bring ya’ I know we didn’t talk for a while there, but I thought of you a lot. And y’know Mum, loves ya’. You’re very important to us all.”

She looked away from him blushing down at her free hand before nodding, and softly replying. “I thought of you too. Why didn’t you come to Mum’s New Year’s party? I waited for you the whole night…”

He sighed thinking back to what she was talking about. 

“I was in Japan.” He replied. “I really did contemplate flying back just for the party, but I wasn’t sure if y’wanted me too.”

She looked over at him. “I didn’t know that.”

“I know.” He replied softly.

The rest of the car journey was quiet, the gentle hum of the radio played along with the sound of rain softly hitting the glass. Harry didn’t speak he just moved his hand onto his thigh where hers rested, giving it a squeeze.

It didn’t take long to arrive back at his house, Harry opened the door for her and they quickly rushed inside to avoid the rain it had grown heavier and more wild. Y/n stepped inside first with a sigh, and Harry was not far behind. His hands slid onto her hips and lower stomach, and he kissed her neck just below her ear. 

She giggled, her hands finding his. He began to whisper sweet nothings to her but was cut off by her phone ringing. He grunted in annoyance but she said she had to take the call. 

He didn’t let go of her, clinging to her childishly and nuzzling his head into her soft shoulder. 

“Hi, Mum.” She said into the phone, Harry paused his touch.

He could hear the sound of Y/M/N over the phone muffled.

“Anne already told you?” Y/n wanted to laugh. She looked at Harry who sighed, of course, Anne had already rung Y/n’s Mum. 

“No. We aren’t dating Mum. We are just friends.” She sighed. Harry chuckled. 

They weren’t just friends now. Friends don’t make each other cum, they don’t kiss, or see each other naked, friends don’t do what they do. They were way past that line now. He knew her inside and out and now he knew her more intimately than anyone ever had. Harry wondered if he’d ever have the balls to approach the subject of their relationship and where he stood.

“Mum, we were never dating. Please stop telling people he’s my ex-boyfriend.” She laughed. Her Mum was a funny old thing.

“Okay, I gotta go now. Bye, Mum.”

The muffled voice spoke again.

“Yep. Yep. Okay. Love you too. Bye.” She let out a big sigh hanging up the phone. 

Harry was taking off his shoes and belt, he seemed sleepy but content. He was sat on the couch, he’d turned the mood lighting on. It was this warm glowy orange hue that washed over the room. He looked up upon hearing the end of the conversation.

“What is it with Mums?” He teased her as leant back against the plush white sofa. Y/n described it as sitting on a cloud. She napped on it all the time. His legs were all spread out and his head was thrown back.

Harry was so fucking hot. All the time. Did he never get tired of looking so handsome?

She shrugged, walking over to sit beside him and threw her legs up so she was laying on his lap. Her cheek rested on his thigh, and Harry’s painted fingernails scratched the roots of her hair. She made a little content sigh, letting her eyes flutter shut. Him touching her was like heaven.

“Mm. Feels nice, Harry.” He let out a little chuckle. She was practically purring from his touch, all curled up on his lap. Her hands were resting on his knee, and he found himself admiring them. So dainty and delicate. Sometimes he pondered adding a ring to that finger of hers. He thought she’d be a very good person to grow old with. She loved routines and nights in, but she was witty and intelligent, though she loved simplicity she was definitely not boring. She kept you on your toes.

He wanted to stay like this forever. She was practically falling asleep in his lap, like putty in his hands. She made the odd sigh or moan in contentment every now and then as he let her destress. 

She had been a bit stressed with Uni and her life at the moment, the work of it all was hard right now, so he wanted to do anything to help her calm down. The dinner had been a nice distraction for her, and she seemed a lot happier that evening than the text he had received from her that morning. 

She rolled over to her other side so her face was near his hip nose grazing against his skin which smelt so fucking good — he used this expensive woodsy cinnamon soap it made her want to lick him all over. He continued his slow and delicate scratch on her head and his other hand rubbed her exposed back. Her hands moved to under his shirt, trailing along his fern tattoos and grazing the wisps of hair that lead underneath his waistband. Her nose grazed his skin as she tiredly nuzzled into him, feeling her eyes shut. She felt so safe in his lap and arms.

It was so domestic. They had become so domestic. He wished every day he could come home and say something cheesy like ‘Honey, I’m home!’ and scoop her up into his arms and kiss her silly. He longed for nights like this watching TV as she rested on his chest, moving with the rise and fall of his chest. He wanted the mornings too. When she grumpily didn’t want to wake up unless it was from kisses and a coffee.

“Do y’want some wine?” He asked her, his voice all raspy.

They’d only each had a glass of champagne with dinner which had long since faded. Leaving them very sober.

“Sure. Red?” She asked sitting up. Her hair was slightly messy from his playing with it.

He nodded his hand finding her chin and lifting it up. “Whatever y’want, Lovie.” He kissed her forehead before getting up and moving to the kitchen. She finally took her heels off and removed her scarf placing them on the floor. She stood up, feeling the soft rug on her sore feet. 

She leaned down to the coffee table lighting some candles of his. She lit a soap-smelling one and then a lavender one. Then once she was happy with that she walked over to his records and looked for something nice to play. 

She stumbled upon a Marvin Gaye one and she giggled to herself. It was kind of cheesy love making music, so she picked that one. She placed the record down on the turn table part and placed the stylus down. It began to hum a gentle sultry song and she moved back to the couch. 

When Harry came back she was laying on the couch, spread out as she hummed along to Marvin Gaye. In his hands, he had a bottle red all the way from New Zealand and two pink-tinted wine glasses. 

He laughed at her. “Look at yeh, Minx.” He teased. 

She smiled up at him, her dress was hiked up and she looked like the embodiment of idleness. She sat up so he could join her and he poured them both a glass.

They only had two glasses each before Y/n started to droop tiredly against his shoulder. He found her particularly adorable like that. When he finished his final sip he helped her up so they could go to sleep, he blew out the candles too. She followed him lazily up the stairs and into the bedroom, arms wrapped around his waist and tummy. 

He found a random Fleetwood Mac shirt and some grey tracksuit pants for her to wear in one of his messy drawers.

She changed out of the dress and was so happy to get her bra off. It was this pretty lacy one that had Harry frothing at the mouth. Her undies followed once he began to change as well. He found a pair of black silky sleeping pants and didn’t bother with a top.

She followed him to the ensuite and found the cotton pads and makeup remover he had just for her. She began to wipe off the makeup and was glad to be rid of it. He was brushing his teeth silently beside her and she watched him through the mirror. He caught her and gave her a wink. 

She just made a little kissy face in response. He smiled against the toothbrush, a rim of foam around his lips. Once she was done with all that she threw the rubbish into the small bin beside the toilet. 

“Do you have face wash?” She said quietly.

He nodded, spitting into the sink. “Just up there.” He pointed to the cupboard which was also the mirror. 

She opened it, rising on her tip toes for a second.

“Blue.” He replied. She squinted trying to find the blue bottle, he had an array of skincare products. She saw a big dark blue bottle, she reached for it and he nodded showing her that was the right one. 

They both washed their faces together and he smiled watching it foam up against her skin. Once they had washed their faces Y/n finally brushed her teeth and they went to bed. 

She sighed slipping into the big fluffy bed. He had some pale blue sheets on this week. He slid in beside her wrapping his strong arms around her and pulling her into him. He nuzzled his face into her neck and shoulder, the very slight stubble nipping her skin.

The backs of her thighs pressed against the front of his, her bum pressed up nicely against his soft silky pants and his hands squeezed the soft plump of her tummy in comfort. It wasn’t particularly late, but they loved to be inside Harry’s big bed and just cuddle.

“Y’were just perfect tonight. How someone hasn’t swept y’up and kept yeh I dunno…” He whispered kissing the top of her header, nose brushing against her hair, inhaling her shampoo. 

She flushed. “No one’s really tried, H.” He made her heart pick up at the comment. This man and his flattery.

“Lucky f’me. Means I can have ya’ all ta’ myself.” It was meant as a joke, but honestly, he selfishly did want her all to himself. She was so perfect.

She giggled. “Lucky you.”

He squeezed her closer and tighter. She giggled some more, wriggling in his grip. One of his hands moved to her upper thigh. She stopped and leaned into the touch. They didn’t talk they just started to relax into a sleepy silence, the chilly air making them want to bask in each other’s warmth even more.

He kissed her shoulder every now and then soothingly and Y/n shut her eyes. Basking in the feeling of him. His presence made her feel so safe she wanted to sleep often.

“Harry, do you ever think about how long we’ve known each other?” She asked randomly, as his hands continued to rub her body feeling her soft skin against his palms.

“All the time, Petal. Why?” He said softly, his voice was all raspy and gravelly. It made her feel something in the pit of her stomach. He made it even harder for her not to beg for him, this waiting game felt like edging.

“It’s just funny to me how much we have changed, but also how little we have too. I mean we’ve known each other since what? Daycare? And that little boy is still you…”

He understood exactly what she meant. Some things would never change about Harry even with age. Like, he would always be kind and always make an effort. He would always have 3 sugars in his tea unlike, Y/n who would prefer none. He would always enjoy cheesy romance films and love the idea of love. He will always admire old couples walking down the street. And she would always see the more practical side to love. 

She thought back to when they were younger teenagers and how he was rather distant from her in the sense that they were in the same friend group but funnily enough never really talked alone. Then she remembered that in their final year at school Harry, who had refused to dance with anyone else, asked Y/n to dance with him because he knew she’d been waiting for the boy she fancied to ask her all night. Sitting all pretty by herself, feeling like her efforts had been a waste. Only to find herself in the hands of him, spinning and laughing underneath the disco ball.

Then in University when they found out they were going to the same place they naturally found an apartment together, with a slight push from their mothers. Who felt at ease knowing their babies would have each other. Which was weird at first but soon they were at a furniture shop testing mattresses and giggling. 

She never felt uncomfortable around Harry, but once she was close to him she knew she was done for. She knew that for the rest of her life, she’d want him. Crave him close to her. He kind of felt that too, but in a different sense. 

It was more like they kept finding each other unplanned. During school they’d had so many lessons together, sitting with each other quietly. After school, his Mum had her family over for a meal. Then sometimes at the bakery, where they served familiar faces, and between breaks they sipped hot chocolate together. At the end of year dance Y/n and Harry were the only two without dates, and so he danced with her. When University rolled around no one else was going, and of course, Y/n had accidentally by luck of the draw picked the same school as him. They both happened to need a roommate and then they were roommates, then finally best friends. It was as simple as that, it just fell into place with her. He never forced anything. 

Oh, how he loved those memories of being her roommate and best friend. Whenever he thought back to those times he couldn’t help but grin. Neither had ever anticipated anything that would happen — him famous, and her here with him, cuddled in bed.

“It’s like we can’t not be in each other’s lives. You’re always there for me, showing up.” Was all he could manage to say. 

It’s true, when they had drifted and he did a tour for his first album she came to a show with her own money. 

Anne had called her up explaining in a panic how nervous he was for this tour. It was his first without the band. So, with little thought Y/n went in support because no one else could make it, Anne and Gemma both had stuff they couldn’t back out of. Anne knew Y/n would do it for Harry. Everyone knew she’d do just about anything for him except, well, him.

She was in the front row, dressed in a familiar outfit that took him back in time. It was this lavender dress from their school days. She’d worn it to the dance. It was bouncy and had big puffy sleeves, all short and fluffy.

He hadn’t expected it at all.

He came out, dancing and going wild for one of his louder and more upbeat songs. When he finally greeted the crowd he scanned them and said politely. “Hi, I’m Harry!”

She rolled her eyes. How was he still so devilishly charming?

He spotted something familiar, someone, familiar. Her eyes, her smile, and that dress took him back. Suddenly he felt like he was at home, in Holmes Chapel and he was just singing karaoke with his old friends. 

“Y/n?!” He said with a grin. Completely shocked, he shook his head in a puppydog like manner. The few longtime fans in the crowd cheered loudly, knowing her from photos off his Instagram. Anne had a few up on her Instagram too and they seemed to love Y/n in the comments (mainly).

She waved at him. Mouthing, “Hi, H!” She couldn’t contain her smile.

She could see in his eyes how much it meant to him. They got all glassy and soft. Even if they hadn’t spoken in a while she calmed him down immediately. He hadn’t realised how much having her there would calm him. 

She was like chamomile tea, a warm bed, all things nice and calming.

“Thank you for being here, for those of you who don’t know, Y/n is a very old friend of mine. We worked together in a bakery.” He jested.

Y/n giggled.

It felt right for him to sing this song next, “This next one is Sweet Creature.”

“I’ll always be there for you, H. You know that.” She said tenderly.

He rolled her around to face him so he could see her pretty face spewing these kind words. This deep pensive look in his eye. “I’m…I’m really glad you’re here with me…in this moment…this time in my life. I never really noticed how mundane life felt until you came back into mine.”

She felt herself melt like ice cream sitting in the blistering sun during a summer day. She kind of wanted to cry at how sweet he was. Harry wasn’t even her boyfriend but shit these feelings. They were real. Her body went even softer in his arms.

She lifted her hands up from her sides to his cheeks pushing his head down so she could lean in and place a kiss on his forehead. His hair smelt delicious like soap and peppermint.

He hadn’t expected that but he felt himself flush pink. The innocent touches are what made him blush the most. She was so gentle with him. 

“Oh, Harry.” She sighed, pulling away and tucking a stray curl of his behind his ear. “Me too.”

He smiled leaning forward. “Can I kiss you?”

Y/n rolled her eyes teasingly. “Of course.”

His hands slid around to her back, blunt nails scratching her skin perfectly underneath the Fleetwood Mac shirt. He leaned forward into her lightly pecking her puffy lips, remaining very gentle at first. Her hands moved to his neck fiddling with the hair that rested there as she leaned into him. She threw her leg up to his hip and he moved one of his hands to stroke it gently. It was so soft and romantic. 

As the kiss began to deepen she gripped his shoulders trying to press her chest even closer to his wanting to be as close to him as possible. He hummed softly, feeling her tits press into him. Her nipples were hard and he wanted them in his mouth. 

“Mm, you’re perfect.” He muttered against her lips.

She smiled into the kiss, and he used that as an excuse to slip his tongue in ever so slightly. That’s when the kiss began to grow more fiery and passionate. He nibbled her lip and pulled her body even closer letting her roll on top of him as she mewled. 

Her hips rocked needily against his silky pants and he moved his kisses down her jaw and neck peppering them frenziedly, loving the little whimpers and whines that escaped her lips. Which only spurred him on to continue further down to the top of her chest.

The way she was rocking against him was making him lose his mind. Her hands clawed his chest as she whispered quietly. “Please, Harry.” 

This tension had been building for weeks. She wanted him so fucking badly. It was always on her mind, and it was honestly distracting. She’d been trying to write an Essay that morning and all she could think of was him, and in a horny flurry, she imagined him bending her over the desk. Making her scream with pleasure as he often did.

“S’good f’me, Baby.” He breathed out. Hands finding her hips now, forcing them harder against him. Thinking filthy thoughts of him burying himself in her dripping pussy. 

Her lips pressed into his shoulder and then slowly moved down the side of his body, kissing along his tattoos, biting and licking some parts of his tanned bare skin. Until she was finally by his waistband, her pink chipped fingernails teased his snail trail of hair that led to underneath the silk. His skin was so soft there.

His eyes became all hooded, animalistic-like. He was looking at her like he wanted to eat her. But he remained calm and gentle with touches. His hands found her hair, all his rings were off so she felt no sting of metal on her skin. His fingers were running through it delicately and moving it away from her beautiful face.

“Prettiest girl in the world.” He muttered and she blushed resting her cheek on his thigh. 

“Thank you, Baby.” She sighed. 

She only ever let those pet names slip during these moments and it made him so fucking needy for her. He just smiled softly, at ease. “Of course.”

“Can I taste you, H? Please?”

He let his eyes shut and he softly whined as her hand palmed against his pant-covered cock. He was stiff beneath her touch, and she could feel him throbbing at the contact. “You can do whatever you want to me, Angel.”

She giggled teasingly giving his prick a firmer squeeze. “Don’t promise me that. We’ll never leave this bed.”

He took a shaky breath at her words, she was just so fucking hot without even trying. She literally just spoke her mind, and it had him frothing. 

“Is that a threat or a promise?” He replied breathily.

He opened his eyes, thinking back to all those nights in school when he’d dreamt of her sexually. He’d felt guilty a lot of the time for it of course, but she was just so fucking pretty and sexy without realising it. Like when they went swimming during the summer and she wore this cute little pink floral bikini, he would go home and in the summer heat, he would imagine it was her wrapped around him. He’d probably wanked to every filthy fantasy he’d ever had. Her sucking him off, maybe him fucking her throat watching tears spill from her eyes. Him eating her pretty pussy and making her feel so good she saw stars. Making love to her softly and romantically as she deserved, and sometimes he thought of fucking her roughly and needily. In different positions for hours. All the ones he could think of. But every time he came, he’d come back to and realise it was just his fist and not her mouth, hand, or precious pussy.

But now she was here in front of him, eyes all big looking up at him, ready and eager to take him into her mouth. She was real and she wanted him.

“Yes, Angel.” He rasped.

These moments always felt surreal to him. Especially because of how well they knew each other, now that they had started to explore each other’s bodies it was the most vulnerable they had ever been. No one would ever know them better than each other. 

Which is why her hand that was ghosting over his thick cock made him feel so close already from a mere touch.

She was dream-like.

“Mmm.” He whined. He was sensitive to her touch always, but tonight it was more than usual. They both pulled his pants off together so she could rest between his thighs, her mouth right in front of his leaking pink tip.

She was feeling a bit more vocal tonight. He loved it. “You have such a pretty dick, Harry. So big and veiny.”

He laughed softly, his hand running through his hair which had fallen into his eyes. “You think so?”

“I never really thought I could actually feel that way until I saw yours. It’s so pretty like the rest of you. It makes sense you have such a nice cock, it matches.” This new side to her had him dying in want.

God, he just wanted her so badly. He wanted to feel those pink slick lips around his cock, and watch her take him into her tight throat. Last night he’d even cum to the thought in the shower.

“You’re so sweet to me, Bun.”

She gave a gentle smile in response before shuffling closer to his glistening prick. Pursing her lips slightly as a string of spit dripped landing on the ruddy head, his breath hitched at the contact. His hands gripped the sheets roughly. When she finally leaned down close to him she did a signature kiss like always. The sight alone was enough to make him cum.

“Such a good girl for me, Baby.” He muttered his hands coming up to her hair pulling it away so he could see her adorable face as she kitten licked against his slick shaft. Her face was flushed pink like always when they’d been kissing, so pretty. She clenched her thighs at that comment and he noticed, very well aware now how much she loved his praise. Loved being told she was good for him, because she truly wanted to be good for him.

Leaning down further she fully enveloped his tip into her mouth, her tongue was a welcome contact against him and he whined loudly. “Fuck.” He said softly and involuntarily throwing his head back.

She had gained more confidence since that night on New Year’s Eve, she knew how he liked and had learnt to make him cum in mere minutes now. She had learnt to take most of him in her mouth too. Which she was surprised she could do considering how large he was.

As she swallowed him deeper into her mouth he heard a little choking sound as she went deeper than usual. Her nose grazed his navel and he cried out. She was taking him so fucking deep, the trail of hair tickled her noise.

“Shit, just like that sweet girl, so fucking good, deep. Fuck.”

She began bobbing her head faster and could feel him throb against her tongue, she would never be used to how large she was ever but she had started to learn ways to take him. He moaned loudly, unable to contain himself at her rapid pace. She pulled up for air for a second her hand coming down to stroke his slick cock at the loss of her throat so he wouldn’t miss her touch.

“H, y’can guide my head, it’s okay. I wanna make y’feel good. Move your hips too if that’s what you want.” She said slightly out of breath, spit and precum dribbled down her chin.

He looked at her eyes for reassurance and he saw a content look in them. “Okay, Love, just tap my legs if it’s too much.”

She nodded. “Ok, H.”

He smiled and she moved back down, taking a deep breath before she took him back into her mouth. He sighed, “Ah, mm.”

His hands had moved into her hair holding her head soft yet firm on his cock, when she made it to about halfway around him her tongue was swirling delicately against his engorged prick and he felt so close to cumming already. It had only been a few minutes.

She was struggling to stop her legs from squeezing together, his sounds made her so wet she felt herself dripping down her thighs. He began to gently guide her head into a bobbing rhythm and he felt a drip of precum fall out his head and he knew if they’d kept this up in another few minutes he’d cum. 

“Oh god, Y/n, your so fucking perfect taking me like this. Letting me use you.” He uttered, “Such a good girl letting me take your mouth like this. So filthy. My filthy girl.”

She moaned softly against his twitching cock and he whined, pulling her head up off him. She took a large breath in. “What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” She said quickly. 

He shook his head quickly. “No, you were fucking perfect, I just don’t want to cum yet.”

She looked at him, eyes all doe-like and lips sticky with his slick. Cocking her head to the side, “Why not?” 

He moved his hands to her shoulders. “Let me take care of you, I wanna make you feel good. You’ve been so good for me today. Such a sweet little thing. Let me take of my sweet girl.”

My sweet girl. Y/n felt her heart skip a beat.

She listened but pouted at his request. Sad his cum wasn’t down her throat. “Harryyy,” She whined. 

“What is it, Love, hmm?” But he knew full well what she was whining about. It had been apparent from the first night that Y/n loved his cum. She loved making him cum. In her mouth, on her tits, whatever he wanted. She often daydreamed of it in other places. Harry knew this.

She just continued to pout. “Enough whining. Be good f’me.” He ordered. “Let me take care of you. ”

Her face remained pouty but she spread her legs for him anyway and he yanked her pants down in one motion, she opened her legs for him widely and his hands stroked her thighs feeling the soft skin there. He motioned for her to take her shirt off as well. She threw it across the room.

He moved his hand up to her mouth tapping against her wet lips, he did that when he wanted her to suck on them.  She opened her mouth for his fingers making sure to swirl her tongue around them just to tease him a bit. He moved his eyes from her glistening pussy to her mouth and cheeky expression. He pulled them away. The popping noise made him smirk. 

“I don’t exactly need the help, you’re already dripping for me.” He teased, running his newly lubricated fingers against her puffy clit.

She moaned as her hips stuttered against his gentle hand. He laughed at her.

She wanted to be embarrassed but this being the millionth time Harry was between her legs she had given up hiding how wet he made her. Most mornings he wanted to start the day that way, right between her soft thighs pressing into his cheeks. 

“How could I not be, Harry? You drive me mad.” She replied her hands moving to his hair.

He smirked biting his lip. The heat of his breath made her squirm against him and his nose bumped her swollen clit. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss there. The taste of her was sweet and tangy on his tongue, and he was addicted. He began to lap up all the leaking arousal, making a filthy sound in his silent room. 

Her moans were soft and freely escaping her mouth, thighs squeezing against him as she tugged on his soft hair. She felt at complete ease underneath his harsh tongue. 

All her stress was melting away with his lick and suck, this was such a good outlet for her worries. She only thought of him. His mouth, his moans, and his prick.

“Harry,” She whimpered at the feel of his firm tongue. “Shit.” She breathed throwing her head back into his pillows, screwing her eyes shut. 

She felt his fingers glide up and down against her weeping hole until he finally slipped one inside. Feeling her clench against him firmly, he wished he was inside of her right now. Her velvety walls were so wet against his hand and he felt her dribble onto his hand as he began to speed up his thrusts. He added another finger.

His tongue didn’t stop suckling on her clit and curled his fingers against her, feeling the way her pussy stuttered against his fingers in an irregular clench. A telltale sign she was getting close to the brink of her orgasm.

“Jesus, Harry, how are you s’good at tha’? Think m’gonna cum soon.” She purred as her hips lifted up and her back arched off the bed.

He pulled his mouth back for a moment, his fingers speeding up and going deeper, as he rasped from wet lips. “S’okay Baby, cum for me, let go. Be good n’ cum f’me. I want it.”

She let out a mewling whine, tugging his hair harder. It was as if his words was the final thing she needed before she felt the start of her pleasure rise in her stomach.

He quickly moved his mouth back down and felt her puffy clit throb against his tongue and a drip of her slick fell down his chin as she let out a guttural cry.

A wave of bliss spasmed from her stomach to her stretched-out pussy, and she felt it pulsate over her entire body. Her eyes squeezed shut and she tugged his hair hard enough that he grunted against her.

“M’cumming! Fuck!” She felt lightheaded.

He pulled up for air, pumping his fingers quickly. “Good girl.” He praised breathily. Spent from working hard to make her cum.

When he felt her come down fully from the high of her climax he pulled his fingers out and licked them clean. “Mmm. I love how you taste, Petal. Sweet.”

She let her thighs drop in fatigue and she lifted her hand to her sweating forehead. Her blissed expression made him grin.

“Fucking hell, Harry.” Her tummy clenched at his words.

Her hand grabbed his shoulder and he moved back on top of her pulling her into a chaste kiss. She could taste the tang of herself on his lips. His tongue slid against hers and he tasted of her. She moaned softly into his mouth. He pulled back, “You’re so beautiful.”

She bumped her nose into his. “Harry?”

He kissed her jaw, “Yeah, Love?”

“I want you inside of me. Please.” She sighed, pupils dilated. “I want to be close to you, Harry.”

“Are you sure?”

She mewled. “I want you so bad, Baby. Please.”

How could he say no to her? She was all sweet and whiny, and her naked in his bed. “Okay. I want that too.” 

He pecked her lips softly before pulling away. “Gimme one second.” 

He got up off the bed and moved over to his bedside table finding a box of matches and lighting the few candles he had there.

She giggled at him. “What are you doing?”

He just grinned, “Making it special, Lovie.” 

She felt her chest flutter and a big toothy grin made its way to her face. Harry knew that Y/n was more practical, he was the hopeless romantic out of the two of them. But he wanted to make Y/n feel special, he wanted to be sappy for her.

He got up again walking into his cupboard.

“What else are you up to back there?!” She said with a giggle. 

When he came back out he had a bag with something in it. It was hard for her to see because it was dark. She squinted trying to understand. 

“Hold on stay there.” He said nipping his lip, he grabbed a handful of contents from the bag. Before throwing them onto the bed around her.

She opened her eyes looking to her sides under the dim light, plucking one up in between her fingers. “Is that rose petals?”

“Yeah.” He smiled, scratching his neck nervously. “I know it’s cheesy, but I wanted you to feel special.”

She couldn’t believe he went to all that effort. 

“Anything else?” She prodded.

He smirked. “One more thing.” He pulled something out from behind his back. It was one of those cheap plastic roses and he put the stem in his teeth and raise his brows. 

She laughed loudly, gently pushing his shoulder. “You are so corny!”

He pulled the rose out of his mouth, offering it to her goofily, feigning a gentlemanly gesture. “Thank you for allowing me the pleasure of being the first. I feel so lucky. It’s truly a privilege.”

She rolled her eyes. “Oh shoosh.”

“I’m serious. I know it’s silly, but I feel grateful that I can be with you in this way. You’re my best friend. You’re very special to me.” He said tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into the warmth of his palm.

“You’re my best friend, H. I wouldn’t want anyone else to be my first. I trust you.”

He felt his heart swell and he moved back on top of her. His arms were straight beside her head. 

“Kiss me please.” She said breathily.

He moved his face closer, nose bumping into hers as he pecked her top lip. She met him in the kiss her hands glided over to his shoulders. Both their eyes fluttered shut. 

There was little urgency in their kiss, though Y/n felt herself ache for him but she felt no urge to rush him. Harry always liked to take his time. He used his free hand to slide down to her hip gently squeezing the flesh there. 

He started to scatter his kisses down along her jaw and nipped her ear. She sighed softly letting a moan slip in contentment. Her hands moved to his hair softly massaging his head. 

His kisses travelled further down to her neck and he sucked harshly against her nipping the soft skin, she hissed in pleasure and he licked back over the spot to soothe her. Her pretty sighs of contentment made him smile against her skin.

His lips grazed further down across her chest and he could hear the pounding of her heart. 

“Are y’nervous, Bun?” He asked, eyes looking up to meet hers.

She looked down at him. “A little but, I don’t need to be do I?”

“No, it’s just me.”

She smiled, moving a curl away from his forehead, “Just Harry.”

“Exactly, just me. But you know that if you wanna stop at any time you tell me. Or if it hurts, or for any reason just say it and I’ll stop. We can just cuddle, I won’t mind.” He replied. 

“I know, I will.” She said.

“Good girl.” He kissed her heaving chest as he moved further down lapping her nipple up into his mouth.

She squirmed her hips against the thigh that rested between her legs, he could feel how wet she was against his bare skin. “Ah,” She cried softly.

His free hand massaged the tit that wasn’t in his mouth softly. Her back arched into his touch. “Oh, Harry, you are so good at that. Fuck.”

He chuckled lightly moving back up to her face. “You ready?”

She nodded. “Mhmm.” 

He kissed her forehead in response, pulling off her.

“Where are you going?” She grabbed his arms. 

“To get a condom.”

“No, it’s okay,”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.” 

He felt his prick twitch at her words.

“Okay.”

Her legs wrapped around his waist and he moved his free hand down to grab ahold of himself. She felt the head of his cock pulsating against her sensitive clit. “M’ gonna go slow, okay?”

She nodded, her chest heaving into his. “Mmkay.” She breathed.

He dragged the tip down to her weeping hole, hissing at the contact of it.

“You okay?” She asked.

He pressed his forehead into hers. “Yeah, you?”

She nodded. 

That was enough reassurance for him to start to slip inside, his cock was so heavy in need. Even though he had gotten her more comfortable and stretched for him with his fingers it still stung as he pushed inside. 

Only the head of him was inside and she already felt so stretched. 

“S’big.” She muttered.

He was going very slowly, his eyes trained on her face, and the pinched expression she was sporting. Worried that it was too painful. Knowing he was rather large. 

He grabbed her hand and squeezed it, and she squeezed back. “Keep going, please.” She said.

He nodded in reply, slowly pushing his hips further. She sighed in discomfort, feeling the veins of him against her. She clenched and he hissed. Pushing further, he felt his cock splitting her open.

He noticed her eyes were glassy and a tear slipped from her eye as she bit her lip.

“Do you want me to stop?” He asked rushedly. 

She shook her head. “No, keep going, just stings a bit.” She tried to explain. 

“Are you sure?”

She nodded, “Mhm.”

He rocked forward and he felt him slip into her further. “M’nearly there, Love,” He soothed, kissing her temple.

When he rutted one final thrust his balls pressed against her ass. They both whimpered at the contact. 

Her eyes were dilated as she felt completely full of him. “Shit, Harry.” Her legs were wrapped around his lower back holding him close. 

“You’re so tight, fuck me,” He whined. She was clenching rythmically around his throbbing prick.

“You can move,” She knew that soon the pain would become pleasure, it would melt away soon, it was already beginning too.

He buried his face in the side of her neck, smelling her perfume and natural scent as he moans grew louder muffled by her shoulder. His thrusts began shallow and slow and she whined loudly. Her arms wrapped around the expanse of his back and she scratched along his shoulderblades.

He hissed at the pain, loving the sting.

“Harry,” She cried out when he started to speed up into her, ramming against her sensitive spongey spot that made her lose her mind, he was the only one who could reach that deep inside of her. She felt him all the way in her stomach. She was already sensitive from her previous orgasm and was keening at the feeling of his slow needy rutting.

He whined at the feel of her clamping down on him. “Fuck, Y/n.”

The pain had subsided to pleasure, the sting hardly noticeable now. She squeezed his shoulder, “Feels good, H.”

He started to speed up now, pounding into her at a ruthless speeed. “Shit, Baby, feel s’good on m’cock.”

He was needily moving into her, as his head remained buried by her neck breathing in the delicious sent of her. It had been a long time since he’d had sex and since he had only been with Y/n for these few months now he’d only had blowies or handjobs, which were great don’t get him wrong, but nothing and I mean nothing compared to her wet tight pussy. God, he’d dreamed of it. Nights and nights he’d lay awake dreaming of it. Dreamed of burying himself in there deeply, and the little sounds it would make.

He knew the right thing to do was to wait, and he was so glad he did. But it meant he was worried he might cum inside her already, the tension building all this time meant he was so pent up. He just wanted to release all his sexual frustrations from these past few months. She was so perfect against his cock, like it was made to wrap around him. 

“Like this pussy was made for me.” He rambled.

“I can feel you in my tummy, H.” She whined shutting her eyes, and he pulled up from her should moving his hand to press onto the now bulging flesh of her tummy. With each pump he felt her clench against his prick and saw the faint bulge of his cock. He could feel himself with each thrust, as they both moaned.

He moved that hand from her tummy down lower to her swollen clit that was begging for attention. Rubbing harsh circles and her hips twitched. “Oh god, Harry,”

He wanted to feel her cum on his cock, he was desprate for the feeling, he could already tell she was getting closer to the brink from the stimulation on her puffy senstive clit and his thick prick pounding into her. The clamping of her pussy was growing irregular and when his thrusts went particularly deep inside of her, her eyes rolled back.

She felt euphoric, this white blistering hot feeling was shooting through her from head to toe. 

She was honestly surprised how good he made her feel, when she was younger and all her friends were losing their virginities they told her it hurt and that it was awkward. Or that they didn’t cum, and there was no foreplay. She had expected that Harry would know what he was doing, but even that didn’t live up to this moment. She had also known that it may not be as pleasurable until later on but she was feeling like she was on cloud fucking nine.

“You’re so pretty, such a pretty little thing.” He mumbled as he placed some kisses down her neck and along her collarbone.

She mewled her back arching into him. “Oh, fuck,” she whispered with a slight disbeleif in her eyes, “think you’re gonna make me cum, Baby.” 

He watched her with a sultry grin, as her eyes screwed shut and the hands that were on his back started to scratch along the tan flesh once again much sharper. “Don’t stop,” She panted. 

“Such a good girl f’me. Y’gonna come on my cock?” He asked teasingly, with a pant.

She could only whine in response, biting her lip at the intensity. 

“Atta’ girl. Be a good girl and cum on m’cock.” He praised. 

She started to shake, the feeling of his fingers still on her clit was pushing her to her orgasm. Her tummy clenched and she couldn’t contain her hips from squirming up into his. This intense wave of bliss rushed through her as waves of pleasure melted from her chest to her stomach all the way down to her throbbing pussy that was wrapped around him. 

Her heart was thumping in her chest as her entire body twitched in delight and climax. His prick never stopped it's pounding as he let her orgasm ride out. It was longer than the first one and like nothing she had ever felt before. She’d only dreamt of this kind of pleasure and usually Harry was the one giving it too her. She felt like it was an out of body experience, her head became lightheaded and stars appeared in her vision. She hadn’t even heard her self crying out, until she came back too. 

He slowed down to allow her a moment to catch her breath. Her pussy felt so senstive that even these more gentle and tame strokes had her basically sobbing with pleasure. 

“I’m close, Sweet girl,” He hissed and he began to speed up once more now his thrusts were sloppy and an uneven rhythm. Her orgasm had made him lose any last bit of control he had.

She could barely speak she was so spent. “Please,” She didn’t know what exactly she was begging for.

He pushed his lips into hers and trapped her in a kiss, her hands found their way into his thick hair which was coated in a light dampness from sweat. She moaned against them and he was whimpering into her swollen lips. He pulled his lips off hers for a moment as he whimpered a desprate, “Gonna’ cum.”

She managed to breath out a soft, “Cum for me Harry,”

The delicacy of her voice made him lose it and he felt his cock twitch in release, hot spurts of his cum shot up inside her and she felt him fill her up completely. He whimpered the most despratelty she’d ever heard and his head fell into her neck. “Fuck,” He breathed. 

Her pussy was still clenched around him tightly. “That was…wow.”

She giggled. “That was perfect.”

He lifted up from her shoulder and captured her lips into a kiss. It was long and tender and much softer than then the urgent act they’d just comitted. He itched to say it, those three words, but all that came out was. 

“You’re gorgeous, Y/n.”

“Thank you, Harry,”

He kissed her forehead. “Come on, let's clean you up.”

if you enjoyed please follow me to see the next parts coming soon ily 🫶 feel free to check out my masterlist xxx & feel free to request me too!!

[mcyt-trios]

PROPAGANDA:

Gaslight Gatekeep Girlboss:

Listen to me closely. There is no other alliance on the whole Traffic series as based as them. They did EXACTLY what they set out to do. Did they Gaslight? Oh fuck yeah. Did they Gatekeep? You better believe it. Did they Girlboss??? By the good grace of god they did!!!!!!! They are simultaneously the blueprint for every trio of mean girls in a 2000s high school movie and the most genuinely devoted alliance on the whole server. They trust and respect and love each other in ways beyond mortal comprehension. Vote them please I'm begging you.

They were an absolute powerhouse! Also also, Cleo finding herself a group of people who were properly loyal to her after being betrayed for the healing arc. Scott telling them he was the boogieman and refusing to kill even if it meant going red. They're just so hhhhhh

cleo is gaslight (setting things on fire), scott is gatekeep (protecting the base), and pearl is girlboss (girlbossing).

Quite possibly the most ride or die alliance of Last Life. Consistently sharing lives, helping each other get boogey kills, refusing to hurt each other… they were just such a feel good team up for the entire series :] and then they kicked Pearl out in double life :]

Listen they are the EPITOME of ride or die. They love each other so much during that time. Do you hear me. Dear God they are the most precious

Best faction on Last Life. Set the template for pretty much everything Scott and Cleo do together, and set us up for 5AM Pearl.

Boreal Trio:

look. look okay so youve got two battle hardened at least mildly immortal warrior brothers-in-arms slash best friends slash partners for life, and then youve got this anxious, queer wet cat of an enderman who lives in their shed. oooh my god this is gonna be so incoherent im so sorry. ranboo was doing soooo awful when doomsday happened and both techno and phil immediately went him. that one. he needs to be safe and supported and away from all of this he should come with us. only if he wants to. and he did want to!! he was soo anxious but he got more confident!! none of them are great at expressing their feelings verbally (techno is but he also does other things) so they do it in other ways! phil rushing over as soon as he hears ranboo CLOSE to water because he knows it hurts him! techno moving the prison break up from 'some time soon i guess' to 'now now we are leaving now we are doing this RIGHT NOW' as SOON as ranboo gets detained!! avenging his ghost, throwing any and all hesitation about tubbo away to work with him because that was what ranboo wanted, that was what he asked. always checking in and making sure he was okay. all three of them are soooo dysfunctional but i love them so much. think of the mansion raid streams!! techno and ranboo off adventuring, phil taking care of the animals and getting up at 3am real time to trigger their stasis chambers!! they care about each other all so fucking much and they are a family! please vote for them i will be very sad otherwise :(

[tvgirllvr]

part two to the james potter smut I wrote!!! again, im new to writing, so pls give me tips how to be better!

James Potter x Reader

Warnings: smut, praise kink, degrading kink, size kink, semi-public sex, unprotected sex (WEAR A CONDOM), probably more idk

———————————————————————

It’s the next day, the day after James had told you to meet him after practice. You went back to your dorm last night feeling both satisfied and unsatisfied. Yes, you got to suck James Potter’s cock. However, there wasn’t enough time for him to return the favor. All considered, you were everything and excited for your guy’s encounter tonight.

In potions class today he actually said hello to you. It may seem like nothing but it has never happened before. Not only that, you also caught him staring at you a few times. Once you made eye contact with him he smirked, every single time. How could someone you dislike so much make you this desperate?

As you're walking out of potions you feel a familiar hand placed on your shoulder. You turn around, and of course, it's the man himself.

“Hey, um - can I talk to you about something?” James asked. He seemed a little nervous.

“Yeah, what's going on?” You replied, he could tell you were anxious by the pitch in your voice.

“Listen, about tonight, I’m sorry. We have a game tomorrow and I told the team we would have a late practice … so I’m going to have to cancel. I really wish I could return the favor now. I promise I will another time. Okay baby?’

Oh you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.

“Oh, um - yeah. That's fine,” you replied quietly. God, you were pissed. So pissed. Who fucking does that?

“I’m sorry, again,” his repetitiveness was starting to annoy you. With that, you did anything a pissed off person would do. You didn’t reply, turned your back, and walked away.

______________________________________________

It’s two hours later and you still can’t stop thinking about how James totally blew you off. I guess he didn’t make a fake excuse, the Gryffindor team was in fact practicing that night. Still, your feelings were hurt. You wanted to make him regret the fact that he canceled on plans, and as always, you had the perfect plan to do so.

It wasn’t uncommon for the Gryffindor girls to gawk over the boys at practice, they would sit in the high booths and drool over whichever boy they liked that week. You had only done it a few times before, but tonight seemed like the perfect opportunity to pick up an old hobby.

You went through the clothes you had brought to school and found the most perfect thing to wear. A black mini skirt, a tight sweater, and a necklace that rested in between your breasts. James had previously made a comment about how worked up you wearing skirts got him, so you were positive that this plan would work to an extent. You gathered two of your girl friends and proposed the idea of going up to watch the boys. They agreed in the same beat, and before you knew it, you were up in those stands.

Watching the team play was an interesting experience. Some of the boys you felt incredibly repulsing, you became annoyed when they would wink at you or look at you for too long. It made you question if you should just leave, but once you saw the face of James Potter when one of his mates whistled at you, you made up your mind to stay.

Everytime one of James’ teammates made a comment or even looked in your direction, he would furiously grip his broom and block the teammate’s view of you. God, could he make it more obvious? At the end of the day, it didn’t matter to you, because you were the one getting him all flustered. To be frank, it was all his fault.

You eventually got too cold so you and your friends decided to call it a night. If it went as usual, the long Quidditch practice would last another hour. Boohoo, you thought. Poor James is stuck on a broom while you were going to fingerfuck yourself to make up for his absence. Of course that isn’t the ideal situation, but it was better than nothing. Walking down from the stands, you were shocked to hear what was being shouted about on the field. Nevertheless, it made your stomach turn with anticipation.

“Alright you guys!” You heard James yell, “That's it for today. You guys have worked hard enough, we should be good for tomorrow. Get a good night's sleep!”

Oh, thats fucking funny. James Potter, who had to cancel on fucking you tonight, just ended practice early cause he got too worked up seeing you dressed like a slut. You were trying to anticipate what his next move was going to be, but honestly, you had no clue. With that, you began walking back to your dorm. Your two friends had already left you behind because you were purposefully walking slowly to listen to what James was saying to the team. You couldn’t walk for 60 seconds without hearing a pissed voice call you.

“What the fuck was that?” You heard James ask sternly. You whipped around, he was only a few yards behind you.

‘What was what?” You teased, knowing exactly what got him worked up.

“Are you kidding me? What was what? I’m talking about you showing up to practice dressed like a total slut. You should have heard what the guys were saying about you. Where do you get off doing that?”

“I don’t know Potter, maybe I was trying to impress someone.”

“Yeah,” he scoffed, “who?”

“It’s none of your business,” you replied, a little too snarky. This seemed to piss him off.

“Oh, yeah? It is my business. You were the one begging for my cock down your throat last night,” he said in a soft voice, almost mocking. He was slowly getting closer to you.

“What does that have to do with anything?” you said in a very defensive tone.

“What that means is that if I were to pull you into that empty classroom right there, bend you over and fuck you from behind, you would let me. Don’t pretend like you're so innocent being dressed like that.”

You went silent. You knew that’s what you wanted. He knew that's what you wanted.

“Please,” in a whisper, was all you were able to get out. He grabbed you by your waist and did exactly what he suggested. He pulled you into the closest classroom and locked the door. Before you know it, he was pinning you on the desk that belonged to professor whoever.

“You’re such a fucking brat trying to distract me. You should know better than that. You were so good to me last night, but now, I don’t think you deserve anything at all,” he said with a knee in between your legs. God, you needed him so bad.

He was kissing you so slow, he knew that he was teasing you. All he wanted was to see how desperate you were for him and you were giving him all of that. With your hands tangled in each other's hair, you felt one of his hands run down your body and to your cunt.

“So wet and needy. I bet you don’t even need any warming up, bet I could slip my cock right inside your tight pussy and you would love it just as much. Isn’t that right?” He asked while circling your clit with his thumb.

“Yes, more .. please more,” was all you were able to get out. He let out a laugh at that.

“God, you’re so fucking pathetic. You really are just a horny slut wanting to be used, only by me right?”

“Yes...yes, yes! Only by you,” you let out as he picked up the pace.

“What a sight,” he said while taking off your skirt. “Awww, did my baby wear her pretty pink panties for me to see? Too bad you soaked right through them, gotta take them off.”

As he removed your underwear, he let out a sigh as he was able to see your cunt for the first time. He looked up at you, made eye contact, then immediately began placing kisses on your clit. He moaned against your heat as he stuck a finger inside, making your body shift with pleasure.

“So fucking tight, how am I going to fit in there?” He asked, “Guess I do have to warm you up doll. Fuck, you taste so good….”

He added another finger inside you and began to pick up the pace to which his tongue was moving. You couldn’t help but let out a large moan as he moaned against you.

“Oh my fucking god, I’m gonna fucking cum, ” you let out as you were approaching your high.

“Hmm… I don’t know if I should let you though. You acted like such a spoiled brat earlier, getting me worked up with your cute ass in that skirt. Maybe I should just leave you here, let you get yourself off so you can learn your lesson,” he said as he pulled off of you for a moment.

You would think his words would actually make you less likely to finish, but something about the way he was talking to you only made the ache in between your legs more prominent.

“Please, please, please. I’ll be good, I swear,” you moaned in separate breaths, hoping he’s kind enough.

“Alright pretty. Go ahead, cum. You’ll look so cute, I just know it.”

As he flicked his tongue as fast as he could on your clit, you came to a high you didn’t even think was possible. You moaned out his name as you had your hands tangled in his hair making sure he was as close to your cunt as possible. Soon enough, you pulled him off because whatever he just put you through made you the most sensitive you had ever been.

“Fuck baby,” he groaned, “looked so pretty like that. Ha, like what you see?”

It was hard not to see his hard cock making a clear mark through his uniform. You wanted nothing more than to experience what it was like to be totally, and utterly, destroyed by him. You reach down to his pants and undid them. As soon as his cock was released, you wrapped a hand around the base then moved it up, collecting all the precum that had gathered when he was eating you out.

“Fuck, doll. You gotta stop or I’m not gonna last long, you gonna let me fuck that pretty pussy of yours?” He asked you in a very low voice, like he needed it at that very moment

“Mhm,” you said, “Want it inside me, please.”

“That’s my girl, bend over on the desk princess,” he ordered you. Your sweater was still on, to which you removed before you did what he said. Your nipples hardened even more after being pressed on the cold surface, you felt a smack to your ass as James began lining his cock up with your entrance.

“Wait,” you heard him say.

“Oh god, what now?”

“Condom… do you have one?” He asked you, concerned.

“No. We don’t need one. I’m on the pill. Please just fuck me now, no more teasing,” you begged.

“I don’t think you’re in charge here,” he said right before pushing a fourth of his cock inside of you. “Fuck, holy shit. I don’t know if I’m gonna fit in here, no, you’ll make it fit. You’re so cock hungry you would do anything for it all now, is that right baby?”

“Yes!” you let you scream, you honestly couldn’t wait any longer.

He slowly pulled out and went back in faster, pushing his whole cock inside you this time. His doing caused you to half yell half moan. The way he was stretching you out made you somehow even wetter. It was painful at first, but the pain definitely didn’t last long as he started to slowly thrust in and out of your cunt.

“You’re such a whore for it, huh? Letting me fuck you in a classroom where someone could hear us at any moment. I bet you would like that, letting everyone know how much you love my cock inside you,” James rambled, you loved the way he rambled.

He continued to fuck you at a faster pace. It was obvious that neither of you were going to last that long, he had been hard for a while and you felt your second orgasm approaching as he flipped you over and began to circle your clit again.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you moaned, by the way you were squeezing around him, he could tell you were going to cum soon.

“That’s my girl, go ahead, cum on my cock. You’re gonna go back to your dorm after this, play with yourself, and realize nobody’s ever going to make you feel as good”

“I’m cumming, shit! I’m cumming, oh my gosh,” you let out the most pornographic moan known to man as you reached your high for the second time that night.

“Oh… that’s it. Fuck, hang in there baby. Almost there, gonna cum inside you, gonna fill you up. I know you want it so bad,” he rambled on. His thrusts were starting to become sloppy.

At this point both of his hands were on your hips and your back was on the table. Throughout intense eye contact, you felt him twitch inside you and let out a load, low, groan. The feeling of him cumming inside you was absolutely immaculate. You both stayed still for a few seconds until James pulled you up to his level and planted a soft kiss on your lips. He pulled out of you and got dressed to go get a towel so he could help clean you up.

“You did so good for me baby,” he said while helping you get dressed, “I’m so proud of you.”

You were a little shy and tired at this point, so you just planted a kiss on his cheek and held his hand. He walked you back to your dorm and gave you a kiss tonight. You wondered to yourself what this meant for the two of you. It seemed impossible that James Potter would ever be wishing you sweet dreams and holding your hand. Wherever this went with you two, you were in for the whole ride.

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Worlds apart

Telling his mate about his true nature didn't go as planned.

____________________

I felt terrified, standing in front of the sign. "Welcome to Santa Carla!" It said, in bright yellow and red letters. Pictures of the boardwalk, the rides, and the traintrack - things I hadn't seen in so long.

I wasn't terrified of going back to Santa Carla. In fact, I had been anxious to. I needed to get back, I needed to come home. I just didn't know if home wanted me back.

You see, about eight months ago, I met this boy. Well, he was a bit too old to be called a boy, but you get what I mean. He was this early twenty-something year old, with the prettiest eyes I'd ever seen. With stories, I could listen to for hours without getting bored. A sense of humour that matched mine. Looks that were to die for. I had met him the day I moved to Santa Carla, preparing for a new start after losing the last family I had left. Within two weeks, I had completely fallen for him, and lucky for me, he had also fallen for me.

David was everything. In such a short time, he became my safe haven, my home, my best friend and lover, and I couldn't imagine spending my life with anyone else. It scared me a little how quickly everything went, but he always reassured me that we wouldn't rush into things if I did not want to. Those six weeks were absolute heaven. I honestly believe that I have never been happier.

It was only when I spent the night at the cave, their home, that something shifted between David and me.

"I need to tell you something."

"Are you alright?"

"Sit down," he said, his voice more distant than I had ever heard before.

"David?"

"You know I love you, right?"

I nodded.

"I need to near you say it."

"I know. I love you too. David, what's going on?"

"I'm a vampire."

I was quiet for a moment before laughing. "Yeah, right. That's a good one."

"Love," he looked at me, "I am not lying."

And he wasn't. His eyes turned yellow, his face turned into a batlike shape, and his fangs seemed sharp enough to tear me in two.

"Y-you're not joking?"

"No."

"You're - you're a vampire? I- you kill people?"

"Yes."

"How long?"

"Almost eighty years."

My eyes grew wide as I felt panic wash over me. This wasn't real. This was just one big prank from the boys - there is no way that vampires were real. David wouldn't lie, not ever. He hated liars, so why-? I began to focus on my breathing, trying to calm myself down.

"Why didn't you kill me?"

"I couldn't. I could never hurt you."

"Why not?"

"You're my mate. We belong together."

And that's when I fully panicked. I got sick, I threw up, I whimpered and cried and avoided his touch out of fear. I didn't dare look at him, both scared that this was some sort of cruel joke and at the same time scared that this was real. That vampires were real.

"I- David, I- I love you, I really do, but this - how can this be real? I don't believe - if this is real, if you are speaking the truth..." I fell silent, not knowing what to say.

"I am not lying to you, love."

I nodded, tears in my eye. "I need time. I - I don't know if I can deal with this right now. Not without being unfair and mean and cold to you. Im scared, and I..." The first teardrop fell. I - I'm sorry."

David nodded, getting what I was hinting at. He reached for me, holding my hand before letting it go with a soft squeeze. After losing my family and not actively dealing with that, the news of my boyfriend being undead was the final drop in the already close to overflowing bucket.

"You need to take your time and space. Just-" he took a breath, "Please stay in touch."

I had nodded, and I had left him there. Six months ago now. In that time, I had taken my space, literally. I had been afraid still and had gone to Sweden - enjoying the days where the sun wouldn't set. It felt safe. Safe from vampires and monsters, and it allowed me to deal with things. Two weeks after I had left, I wrote my first letter. I had it delivered at the videostore, hoping that David would get it. And he did, because after a week I had a response from him.

In the letters I sent him, I told him where I was, what I had been up to. I asked questions about him being a vampire, and slowly but surely, I came to terms with it. Still, I felt rather confused. I got why he hadn't told me about it from the start, and at the same time, the lying also hurt. But, in the end, I dealt with my family passing, I dealt with my mixed feelings about him being a vampire, and I was ready to go back.

And now, six months later, I was ready to go back home. I realised I had been unfair to him, that I definitely hurt him - which was not what I had wanted, absolutely not, but back then, I had been certain that I needed the space - and I was terrified to see him again. What if he didn't want me anymore? Or what if he moved on? Honestly, if he had, I couldn't blame him. I had been the one to leave.

With a deep breath, I started the short walk to the boardwalk, spotting David when he left the videostore.

"Nothing?" I heard Dwayne ask.

"No. I shouldn't have let them go. I should have gone to bloody Sweden as soon as I knew they were there."

He stomped off to the beach, and I quickly followed. Seeing him now made me realise not only how much I had missed him but how much he had missed me as well. I walked after him, stopping quickly as David turned around angrily.

"Why are you following -" his expression softened, and disbelief flashed over his face. "You're here?"

"Hi," I whispered, not trusting my voice to let any louder noise escape.

David hugged me tightly, and I broke down - crying as I held onto him. "I'm sorry I left, I'm so sorry I was so stubborn. I missed you so much, I-" I gasped for breath, sinking down to the ground. David held me, and I saw some tears burning in his eyes.

"I thought you'd never come back. I was scared you wouldn't."

"I was scared you'd be angry," I said softly, looking at him. "I'm sorry for how I left."

"I'm sorry I scared you so bad."

"Can we start over?" I asked. "Just try to rebuild what we had? If - if you want me still, that is."

"Yes," David smiled, kissing my forehead softly. "Nice to meet you, love."

I smiled shyly. "I promise I won't ever run off to a place with no nighttime again."

"Next time, I'll just follow you. The burns will be a testament of my love."

I kissed him, softly and gently, smiling when he returned the kiss. Nothing could show him how much I regretted leaving, how much I had missed him - but being here felt right. Being with him felt right. I just hoped he felt the same.

[pineappleciders]

heyy first of all its me the fucked up dream anon (now going by dream anon how original) second of all ive decided im going to learn about south park purely through your work so can i get some tweek (ive latched onto that boy) and whoever else you want (probably the main boys) with a reader (all platonic ofc) who's got that #anxiety? thanks even if you dont do it <33

🌌🌟/dream anon

main 4 + tweek with a reader who has anxiety; platonic headcanons

A/N: haii :3 i apologize if this like, distorts your vision of the characters or something. i am so glad you are being converted to the religion of tweek!!!!!!

TRIGGER WARNING: anxiety disorders, light mental health topics, paranoia, panic/anxiety attacks, death mention on kennys part

stan marsh

i think stan has a normal amount of anxiety. like he's so regular. he's your average joe

like he gets anxious over tests, and giving speeches, and over wendy. other than that he doesn't experience it to the extent of a disorder

so it might be a little difficult for him to imagine getting anxious over simple things like ordering food and stuff like that

he'll try his best to listen though, although he'll probably try to kinda reason with you, esp if you're feeling paranoid or something

"dude, i checked twice, it's locked. relax, man."

he'll try to distract you, by playing games and watching stuff, and just generally kinda trying to be funny to take your mind off of things

if you're having a panic/anxiety attack, he kinda panics too at first, before quickly pulling you away and asking what's wrong. he is sweating very hard

if you're unresponsive, he tries to stay calm but is honestly considering calling an ambulance. like he thinks you're having a stroke

"shit, a panic attack? uh, okay, errr.... take deep breaths, okay? in.. and out. in.. and out. okay, that's good.."

he looks up grounding techniques on his phone and relays them to you until you calm down and catch your breath. he like sends you images off of google of the 5 senses technique randomly and says he figured you'd need it someday

he tries to keep your anxiety in mind, and might slip up sometimes, but for the most part he tries to be careful with his words and actions as to not worry you. he shows his care in subtle ways!!

kyle broflovski

he tries to kinda. logic it out a bit. like if you're feeling insecure he tells you how unrealistic it is for someone to think about one random passerby's appearance forever

he does feel bad though. he doesn't completely understand, but whenever he's feeling insecure he tends to get really anxious about people at school

he usually gets anxious whenever he's doing something wrong or sneaking out. like he's actually sweating and shitting his pants thinking about what his mom will do to him if she finds out

he'll encourage you to order food for yourself, to get yourself out there more, and if you succeed he'll pat your shoulder and smile a lil

if you don't want to, he might dramatically sigh but he'll do it anyways. cuz he knows how hard it is

i do think he'd get a little anxious about asking workers for help and stuff, but he'll be the bigger person... he supposes... smh my head...

when you have an panic attack for the first time, he's like really confused and gets super concerned that you're having a heart attack, and pulls his phone out to dial your parents or 911

"i'm here for you dude! listen- hey, listen to me. it's okay. can- can you-"

he tries to talk to you to de-escalate it, but he gives up and has his hand on your back, while looking up what the fuck to do

'friend havign panjc atgack what to do'

if you're okay with it, he probably talks to your parents about it. he doesn't really trust himself to be able to always calm you down, so he encourages getting outside/professional help

he does try though, and he'll always be there for you in different ways!! like when you need help with something or just need company to distract you, he's at ur door with his xbox 360

eric cartman

you can tell that eric gets a little uncomfortable if you're freaking out or feeling anxious. whether it's because he actually feels bad or just doesn't know how to handle your emotions, you'll never know

but either way, he'll probably just like. sit next to you like "dude, what's up with you?" or in other cases he'll sneakily slip out of the room unseen

he does try to be kinda logical about it, but that's solely because he physically can't speak words of comfort.

"i mean, dude, be seriously. nobody cares about you that much to notice." you speak such kind words eric!!

he doesn't really like it when things get serious, so he'll generally try to transition the situation into something more casual. like he'll try to ease your (his) mood by getting snacks and playing games together, or even begging his mom to take you both to KFC

if you have a panic attack, all of his alarms are blaring and his brain is screaming flight!!!!! flight!!!! run the fuck away!!!!

and he probably tries to, but when you notice him and call his name he physically deflates

he awkwardly turns around and slowly strolls over. "Y/N... heeeeeeey... what's up... duuude..." you can hear the strain in his voice

if it gets to be too much, as in you won't stop hyperventilating or can't breathe, he'll probably alert an adult or take you to the nurse or something. he tells himself it's because he doesn't want to be a suspect of your death

if ur having trouble ordering food he'll gladly take ur place and make a scene to get all eyes on him. "erm excuthe me they athed for no pickleth🤓"

other than when you're voicing your anxiety, he probably treats you the same. i don't really think he'd take advantage of your anxiety unless you were like. butters or heidi or something and he was really trying to get you to do something for him or just trying to. stick himself in your mind. because he's a narcissist and he loves that!!

kenny mccormick

he doesn't relate necessarily, but he definitely understands.

he lives a lot of his life in fear of his next death, and is constantly praying it be quick and painless

kenny is more of a reserved fella, but not really shy or anxious. so if you're having trouble speaking up or ordering something he'll step up and do it gladly!!

i think he'd be pretty decent at comforting. like he'll pat his hand on your back and speak assuring, muffled words

"mm, mmph mmph mmmph! mmph mph mph mmmfmf mmf mph mph mmph!" (aww, it'll be okay. i'll walk you every step of the way, buddy!)

he tries to take your emotions into consideration more, and grabs your hand and squeezes it sometimes if you need a boost of confidence. sometimes he forgets your anxiety and says something rude and feels really bad about it

when you're having a panic attack, he's honestly really scared and expects you to start foaming at the mouth or something

he'll hesitate, but he'll pat your back and try to help you with grounding techniques. the 5-4-3-2-1 in particular is his favorite, and he'll tell you how to do it in like a rlly sweet and calming voice

he's still spooked though, and gets you a water bottle and like a washcloth. he's incredibly thankful you aren't dying or anything

kenny is very good at comforting! sometimes all it takes is a simple moment of eye contact and seeing his eyes crinkle that gives you a surge of calmness you didn't know you needed

tweek tweak

tweek is no outsider to anxiety and stress. he's literally a living beehive with all that damn vibrating

to anyone else, it would seem like tweek had a severe anxiety disorder, or even ADHD. but it turns out it's just a result of his crippling meth addiction and caffiene overdoses

he tries to think about what craigs taught him, about grounding techniques and how to handle a panic attack, and tries to apply those for you

he's shakily take your hand and wrap you in a blanket, making you hot cocoa and helping you slowly come back to your senses

"okay, okay, what are 5 things you can touch? or- no- AGH! was it 5 things you see- hear? no, ACK! i can't remember!"

most of the time if you're feeling on-edge about something, his main goal will be to just listen to you talk and validate your feelings. he doesn't really make it a point to give you advice or try to be logical, unless you directly ask for it

he's great at listening!!! he also doesn't trust his own advice enough to say it to someone else.

he really tries to think hard about what comforts him when he's anxious, and so he tries to use the tactics for you. for instance, he tries to help you get into a hobby like painting to have a bit more control over yourself

hc that tweek loves to draw with crayons so he'll make little drawings of you and him as stick figures being all happy and give them to you. as a treat

overall he is very attentive, and cares a lot. he tries his very best to be there for you, and a lot of the time that results in you two just hanging out or gaming together, so you can both get your mind off of things for a while. it makes him happy to be able to be there for someone else like craig was for him

[eggyrocks]

whats da band lore how did they do dat

okay if i’m going to answer this question it’s gonna be LONG (also cannon does not apply here yall im making this shit UP)

noya and yn are childhood friends who kinda discovered punk music together at a very young age

like they were seven listening to agent orange together

yn liked how angry and passionate it is and noya liked how high energy and badass it is

yn’s favorite bands/biggest influences were skinned teen, gitogito hustler, and melt-banana

noya’s were sicilian blood, social distortion, and minor threat

yn was obsessed with learning guitar. she would take books out from the library and imagine she was playing on a fake one & would ‘practice’ and memorize as much of the technical terms as she could & this was how she learned to read sheet music

noya’s grandfather got him a guitar as gift one day and he let yn actually practice on it in exchange for teaching her what she knew

so they were self taught guitar players together 🥹

and they always knew they wanted to start a band but they were both guitar players and two guitar players does not a band make

yn was willing to learn bass too but even if she did they would still need a drummer

enter: tanaka

(influences: fugazi. that’s it. that man loves fugazi)

they met in middle school and the day they met tanaka it was like they were life long friends

like that bond was instant

and one day they were hanging out at noya’s house and tanaka saw his guitar was he was like “oh you play”

“yeah we both play guitar we wanna start a band but we can’t find anyone who can drum”

“oh i can drum. does that help?”

“???? yes???”

and so tanaka became the drummer and that’s when they started having practices

at first they were so bad

like

so so bad

yn tried to play bass but was not the best at it and yn and noya kept arguing over who did vocals bc neither one of them wanted to do it

until one day yn said “you know if you’re the frontman and the vocalist you’ll get the most attention from girls” and that did it for him

only problem was tanaka wanted to be a vocalist after that too

they mostly just played covers at first but noya was writing his own songs too

he’d mostly write lyrics and yn would mostly write music but most of the time neither were very good until tanaka came in and edited what they were working on

their sound was extremely sloppy and unrefined but by the time they entered high school their technical skills had improved a lot

except for yn’s bass playing. she hated it and practiced as little as she could

so one day during their first year of high school the band made a ton of posters asking bass players to come try out

enter: yachi

(now yachi did NOT like punk music. her influences were more like: the strokes, pixies, elliot smith)

yachi plays A LOT of instruments

clarinet? she’s a pro. cello? of course. girl can even play the harp.

she’s an extremely technically gifted bass player

post-high school yachi has really come into herself and gained a ton of confidence but high school yachi was still timid as hell

she saw the flyer and though it would be a lot of fun to put her skills to use in a creative way

but then she showed up to their after school practice spot, flyer in hand and shaking like a leaf

two scary looking dudes and perhaps even a scarier looking girl? yeah no. she’s out

but she couldn’t get away. yn was so excited at not just the prospect of having a bass player finally join them but also another girl? she dragged yachi back there lmao

and even though yachi was so visibly anxious that all sort of melted away when she started playing and she became the coolest most confident person alive

they were actually sort of blown away the first time they heard her play. like the band was like !!! you might be too good for us to tell you the truth

yn was on her hands and knees begging her to join

so she did! and was very happy to feel so wanted and included

and then with the addition of yachi that’s when they really started to get good

while noya and yn were self taught and though still pretty knowledgeable, yachi had a lot of technical knowledge that really helped them grow

and they started practicing more and more

like too much maybe

their grades suffered

but they really improved a lot and halfway through their second year, they played their first show

it was a disaster

so extremely chaotic

they had nothing set up right and they kept having to stop their set to fix shit and they got heckled and yn threatened to skin the person and from there they were politely asked to stop the set early

it was bad

they realized they needed more help

enter: kiyoko

(she doesn’t play any instruments but her favorite musicians/bands are mazzy star, fiona apple, and the cardigans)

they had met kiyoko before

they were all hanging out together when tanaka tried to talk to her and yn got so embarrassed to be seen with him she hit the back of his head and apologized on his behalf

kiyoko kinda got attached to yn from there; she didn’t have a lot of super close friends & she appreciated her consideration of her feelings

and they started to grow closer and yn, yachi, and kiyoko started to hang out a lot more

it was really good for all of them

yn didn’t have a lot of friends and she was really grateful to be with people who didn’t judge her for her more alternative persona

yachi kept getting more and more confident and felt like she was discovering herself

kiyoko was always very timid and was not the best at initiating conversations or being part of a group but she felt no pressure hanging out with yn and yachi and talking to them was so easy for her

so they got really close

so naturally after the disaster performance yn and yachi were complaining to kiyoko

who said without really thinking much of it “i can help you guys out”

so she did

it was super overwhelming at first because there’s a lot of things to keep track of and a lot of technical things to learn

but kiyoko really loved helping them out

and the more she learned the more she started to offer input or take initiative

tanaka and noya of course loved this

their natural instinct was to act like freaks around her but yn kept that in check

with a lot of threats

and occasionally following through on the threats

and kiyoko started to feel like a member of their band

and they always practiced with her and listened to her critiques and followed her advice

her input and guidance are extremely valuable and half of the reason they’re still a band

tanaka was so in love with her from the start and the more dedicated she became to the band the worse it got

he was so in love with her he didn’t even notice that she eventually started to show signs that she might feel the same way

it only took 6 months for them to start dating and the only person who was surprised was tanaka

it took a LONG time for them to record their first album

it was a mess

a lot of arguing

a lot of clashing opinions

but after writing and rewriting and recording and rerecording

they finally put together a full length album

12 songs, 39 minutes

it’s a little rough and sloppy but hey

that’s punk

and they were all really proud of it

they’ve since put out one ep with 6 shorter tracks

they’re working on their second one now but hey. albums are a lot of effort to make

but tanaka keeps saying it’s going to be the greatest album of all time (it won’t be)

and that’s the freaking band lore

if you made it to the end. you’re a real one

[wasyago]

i loveeee gillion and jays friendship and feel it is not talked about enough, any thoughts about them and their dynamic ?

yesssssssssss bro they're so good

like, again, haven't finished listening yet, so i might be wrong about things, but. they have so many similarities, but they're different, but they get each other, you know?

they both grew up in highly militaristic environments, with Jay's family being The Ferins with a lot of honor to uphold, and with Gillion being trained by the elders who had too much to ask of him. and they know how it feels to have this pressure, to have someone you despise expect something of you, to not be able to say no no matter how hard you try. jay becomes a pirate and stands up against her family, not because she hates them but because she wants them to be better and to understand that there are good people on both sides. gillion gets exiled for doing what he was taught and he learns that there's more to it, that there are two sides to his prophecy of equal value.

i just think there's something there. how both gill and jay were taught that people or pirates are evil, and how they both become "evil" only to find out that they were taught wrong. and how jay makes an effort to not be like her family, to not just claim the other side evil and kill it, but to try to understand and make peace. but gillion still thinks navy is evil. and how gillion stood up to elders and overcame his fear and was able to believe in himself and speak his mind. but jay still falls into this trap and is unable to respond to her family. and how both gill and jay see this in each other and try to support and help, because they trust each other so much... gill being there and helping when jay's grandma called, jay telling gill that accidents happen and they still love and care about him, just. augh.

and that moment in the block where gill let jay shoot him because he believed in her and he knew how hard it was for her to go against the authority like that. (which now thinking about it, maybe wasn't the best choice. like, giving your friend trauma over shooting and killing you when they couldn't do otherwise maybe wasn't the best play, but hey, it happens)

and how gillion always trusts jay in decision making, "tell me how to fix it and I'll do it" type of deal. and how jay always trusts in gillion's devotion and strength, no matter how stupid it is. how jay knows that gillion is gullible and often very vulnerable mentally, and she doesn't take advantage of it and instead makes sure that gillion knows she's on his side. how jay keeps teaching gill things and explaining what he might be confused about. like, legit, my favorite moment from the block arc is them walking in the dessert and jay casually in the background explaining to gill what a bear is. like, its the sweetest thing ever and ever, they're not in a situation with bears, there's no need to do it, jay just shares random facts with him and i LOVE it.

and that moment after jay's (first?) dream about being burned by the sun, where gill immediately comes running and sits beside her and tries to figure out what hurts and how to help. so sweet.

they're just. so friends i dont know how to explain it. they're siblings. they're gossip girls. they're a menace to chip. they're chilling. i can just imagine them talking and sharing facts about undersea and oversea. i can imagine gill waking up from a nightmare and coming to sleep by jay's side because she's safe. i can imagine jay going to hug gill when she feels anxious. i can imagine gill and jay sitting in comfortable silence while jay is tinkering and gill is doing something of his own. i can imagine them swapping foods when one doesn't like theirs. i can imagine them casually holding hands when they go somewhere. i can imagine them getting weirdly obsessed over a book and always referencing it and making inside jokes that no one understands. they're like lilo and stitch to me bro. im gonna go cry now.

[theyhavetakenovermylife]

I feel like bayverse leo would be like a lost puppy by following his crush around and trying to learn her family and cousin ways.

Y/n teaching him stuff but they went camping and they are on the beach, and y/n is collecting shells.

( sorry I stole the beach and camping idea off of the new story you made 😭 IM SORRY )

And I don’t mind if you change the story up or fix it because I suck balls at explaining stuff. 💀 💗

Family Camping and Sea Shells (Fluff)

Bayverse!Leonardo x reader

A/N: That’s a-okay💚 That’s how inspiration work💙 This is probably not exactly what you asked for, but I tried to get it close. Hope you enjoy💙

----------

(C/N) = Cousin’s name, (Y/M/N) = Your mother’s name.

Warnings: Spelling and an annoying cousin.

----------

It was at moments like these, that Leonardo thought about what exactly he had wanted to happen, when he asked to come with you and your family on a camping trip. Well, he obviously wished to be close to you, his best friend, and to learn about you and your extended family. They had always been so nice to him and his brothers, ever since that day all those years ago, where you brought them to your home in order to meet your parents. And as the years went one, and you and Leo’s friendship grew, your family and home almost became a home to him. But now, as he helped your dad and uncle bring the beach chairs and coolers out to the beach, listening to every single thing they had to say, he couldn’t help but think about what the real reason was. Well, that was quite easy to answer; you.

Leo wasn’t fully sure when it first had started, but at some time during your long friendship, he had developed a crush on you. And now as he listened intently to every detail your dad and uncle had to tell him about fishing, he could not help but think about you once more. The things he would do just to feel close to you and your family took him by surprise sometimes… Speaking of you, where were you? You, your mom and aunt had told him and the other’s to go ahead before you, and now Leo couldn’t help but get anxious. Sitting alone with the father and uncle of his crush felt strange, even though he had known your dad for years. Leo’s leg started to jump restlessly, his blue swimming trunks rustling slightly, and his eyes darting between the two men in front of him and the first.

When you and the rest of your family finally emerged from the trees, he could finally let out a sigh of relief.

“Sorry the wait”, you smiled, throwing your towel onto the beach chair Leo was sitting in, adjusting your bathing suit just slightly. “We couldn’t find (C/N)’s bathing wings”.

“Hey! It’s not my fault mom packed them in such a fucked up place!”, they yelled.

“Launguage!”, your aunt exclaimed, making your cousin cross their arms in annoyance. Boy, that was a scene Leo could relate to.

—

Leo followed you closely around on the beach, not really sure what else to do. With you around he would much rather be close to you, feeling safe and calm when he stayed close to you. When you went into the water with your cousins, he followed, staying close as he threw them into the water, finding enjoyment in their giggles and laughs. And when you left the water in order to spend some time in the beach chairs, Leo did exactly the same, taking the time to bask in the sun, just like any other turtle would do.

After some time, the rest of your family started moving back to the campsite, just behind the trees and bushes, in order to get started on the first cooking. Your family, knowing what a terrible cook Leo was, had allowed you and the blue clad turtle to stay back on the beach, enjoying the wind and the somewhat quiet nature around you. You could only very faintly hear your cousins fight among each other, as you and Leo moved to the shadow just by the trees. Here you started talking about the small things and the big things, just like you always did when you were alone together, before the two of you would stay silent, enjoying the nature around you. The birds in the leaves above your head, as the waves crashing against the beach.

As you sat there in peace, your eyes started wandering over the sand, until you noticed something down by your foot. A shinny curved shell, glistering at you in the small amount of sun that poked through the leaves. You leaned forward to pick it up, with Leo watching you curiously.

“What have you found?”, he asked, confusion washing over his face as you held the shell up to your ear. “What are you doing?”

“Here, listen”, you said with a bright smile, bringing the shell up to his ear. “You can hear the sea”.

“(Y/N), we’re right next to the sea”, Leo chuckled, nodding towards the big open waters in the horizon.

“Yeah, I know smarty pants”, you chuckled, scooting closer to him, wrapping one arm around his, as you held the shell up to his ear. “But listen anyway”.

Leo shook his head at you, finding the way you held onto him adorable. But he gave in, leaning his head against the shell, and thereby closer to you. You were biting your lip, waiting in anticipation for his reaction. And to Leo’s surprise, you were right. Through the shell, he could hear what sounded like the wind of the sea.

“Okay, I honestly didn’t expect that”, Leo said with a small smile, taking the shell from your hand, turning it between his three fingers. He tried his best to ignore how you were still wrapped around his arm, staying as close to him as you did before, making his heart beat faster and faster in his chest.

“You should listen to me more often”, you teased. “Sometimes I can really teach you some cool things”.

“Yeah, apparently so”, Leo said, still toying around with the shell in his hand, yet never taking his eyes off you. And that was how the two of you sat for a moment, just looking at each other, in comfortable silence, taking in each other’s features. Leo bit the inside of his cheek, wondering if he should go for it. Was this the moment he had always dreamed of, when he could just lean in and kiss you? And he would be so lucky that you would kiss back? Leo was just about to build up courage, just about to lean in, when the air suddenly was pierced with the high pitch voice of your cousin. Of course they just had to come out and check on the two of you.

“Auntie (Y/M/N)! (Y/N) and Leo are kissing!”, your cousin yelled towards the campside. Leo’s face got so hot and his body stiffened up in panic, while you almost choked on the air in your lungs, being caught in the middle of a daydream about how Leo’s lips would feel against yours. But then your mother answered your cousin, purposefully yelling so loud she knew both you and Leo could hear it.

“I’ll say it’s about time! Now, leave them alone, (C/N). People don’t like it when others watch them kiss!”

You and Leo looked at each other, eyes wide, none of you knowing what to do or say, other than wondering how the two of you were going to survive this camping trip. And how you were going to throw your cousin back into the sea, before finally making that little daydream a reality.

[graysnetwork]

HAVING KEEGAN AS UR BROTHERS BSF

IM HAVING THOUGHTS RN

CHAPTER |

BROTHERS BEST FRIEND — Keegan Russ X fem!Reader

Notes— he will now become a character in my heart and in my blog bc I love him. And so will the friend in this story.

Info: it’s cannon for me to believe his character drives a Mercedes. he has black hair. He’s got red cheeks (I’ll probably post a pic of what I’m thinking of) idk if it’s like Rosacea but I think it’s smtg he would probably have. Keegan’s three years older than you, (your a sophomore and he’s a senior). Idk if you can tell… but this is totally ooc and set in like this time.

Warnings: none!

Summary: you’ve been crushing on Keegan for years now and he has been too.

Your brother was a pain in the ass, so annoying, But. His best friend on the other hand, was so kind to you, and handsome.

Keegan had been your brothers “best friend” for about 5 years now. They’d been friends since middle school and now they were going to graduate, Keegan was apart of the family at this point, he’d stayed at your house for so long that he would come in unannounced and go into anyone’s bedroom, parents included.

Sometimes he’d go into everyone’s rooms just to say “goodnight”, which was really funny, especially when you were a kid.

For instance, he was staying the night at your family’s home, and you were going to say goodnight to your parents but you got anxious because it was late at night, so he grabbed your hand and said goodnight with you so you wouldn’t be alone.

Keegan seemed to like caring for you, he always took the blame when you did something stupid, he’d say “oh I told her to do it, I’m sorry”

He just did it and never asked for a thank you back from you, he enjoyed taking care of you. And as you got older, all the things he did for you made you feel all warm and giddy inside. He was so sweet, how could you not have a crush on him. And when he came over and got in the pool, it made you feel all dizzy seeing him without a shirt.

And he wasn’t big on dating, he dated some girls throughout his whole five years of high school, but he never stayed for long, mostly because he couldn’t make enough time for them due to all the football practice he had.

But Keegan loved you,he always made time for you. he always liked you but once you got older, got in high school, hit puberty, he became more attracted to you, in ways he couldn’t tell your brother.

Anytime your brother asked him “do you like anyone?” Keegan just had to deny everything saying that he didn’t, and even when the blush on his cheeks was apparent he’d still say “nah, I’m waiting for the pretty girls in college” just so your brother could hop off his dick already.

But he couldn’t ask you to date him, or take you out randomly, that’d be weird, and your brother would most definitely get mad at him, and you. So safe to say that he wasn’t going to be taking you out. Plus he thought that you probably liked another guy in the school, not him— a muscular, black haired, tall, handsome man.

He was graduating soon, he was gonna go off to university and get some sort of degree, so what would be the point of dating him if he was going to leave.

—

Now it was a normal Friday night, the night that your family would spend time together, something that you all enjoyed, especially after a busy week of studying, work, ECT. It was something you looked forward to, and sometimes Keegan joined in if he wasn’t with his family.

Today in particular, he wasn’t with them, he was with you. The two of you were heading to the store to go buy some snacks that you and your family wanted. He was talking about what his family was doing that he decided to not join in on today.

“Yeah, they were saying something about this new small…. Art museu-” he tried to remember “museum, yeah I’ve heard of it, seems really nice, I- I mean I dunno if you’d enjoy it, but it really does seem cool” you finished his sentence and began explaining how cute it looked. Keegan smiled to himself listening to you talk about some art that they had.

He didn’t want to go to this museum with his family, but if you wanted to or offered to take him he’d gladly say yes, just to see that cute smile on your face.

Once he got into the parking lot of the store he turned off the car after parking, and while you were still talking about the art to get your mind off him being so close to you, he just gazed at you, his head tilting a little when you turned to face him.

He thought you looked so cute when you talked about things you loved or were passionate about.

“Cmon kid” Keegan told you as he grabbed the keys and hopped out the car. Kid was always his nickname for you, but it always made you feel so much younger than him and like he only saw you as a sister or family.

The two of you walked around the store, for a while before heading to the candy aisle, you two looked at the snack section and ended with grabbing some chips and cookies. Then you went to the candy aisle as Keegan held all the snack for you, that’s when you spotted your friend.

“Y/n!” She said running down the aisle to hug you. “Hii” she said as she hugged you tightly, “hey, what are you doing here” you asked and she pulled away as her brother came up behind her, “we were just getting snack-” Kim tried to say but her brother cut her off “cause she’s annoying and won’t shut up about these chocolates” he said, you giggled

And Keegan suddenly got all jealous, and a little self conscious, like he was back in middle school and he saw the girl he had a crush on talking to another guy.

“Seems like her” you said and your friend nudged you before taking in the sight of Keegan’s tall figure behind you. “And what are you two doin here?” She asked with a smirk appearing on her face.

She knew how much you liked Keegan, she was who listened to you talk about a small interaction you had with Keegan, and she fed into your delusions.

“W-we’re just getting snacks for movie night” you said, you stared at her and her brother with an annoyed face, her brother also knew you liked Keegan, which helped out because he had some classes with him.

“Yeah” Keegan said and stared dead at Kim’s brother, he looked like he wanted to kill him, and if looks could kills, he would’ve been dead the minute you started giggling.

“Well that’s cutee” kim said smirking even more now, and it was just a matter of time before you could smack her when you saw her in private. “Anyways, let’s go!” Kim told her brother and they turned around and walked out the aisle.

“She’s something, isn’t she” Keegan said turning back to you as you walked to the candy’s. “Yeah, definitely” you smiled back at him and looked at the shelf of chocolates. “Uh.. that was her, brother?” He asked, he wanted to know if you liked him in any way.

“Yeah, he’s like my brother at this point” you said chuckling. “Cool” he said and looked around the aisle.

—

The two of you got in the car, placing the bags down at your feet. He started the car and began pulling out of the parking spot. He was quiet now, Keegan’s not loud or anything, he never has been. but he’s never this silent, you didn’t want to question it as he turned up the volume to the radio.

“So” he cleared his throat “Kim’s.. brother, no feelings for him right?” He asked slowly as he swallowed his saliva, “yeah” you told him— the question didn’t seem odd to you, Keegan’s always been protective of you since he was older than you. But he seemed annoyed.

“Hm, why?” You smiled as you turned your head to look at him “you jealous?” You chuckled a bit before he looked at you with an annoyed expression. “was kidding, sorry” you explained quietly and turned back to the road ahead as you approached a stoplight.

“y’shouldnt be liking or dating anyone in the first place” he said, “yeah my brother would probably kill me” you giggled.

“I know someone you could date n’you wouldn’t be killed for it” he said.