#I also had an interview today because I need a better paying job

[weeklylilia]

018

I’m literally at work all the time atm so you can get an older drawing I made (while at work lol).

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I basically quit a job I haven’t started yet?

(📈📉 so I can find later)

I got a job offer for a call center at a big company that I immediately accepted because I’ve been job-hunting for several months, but today I had a recruiting agency reach out to me for another job that better suits my experience, and I feel like an asshole for turning the first job down when I already said yes.

For more context, I graduated in December with a degree in analytics, and I’ve been job hunting with no results since. A recruiting agency reached out to me about this call center job like two weeks ago. I interviewed for it and got the job Friday last week and even if I really didn’t want to do customer service work, I needed a job to pay rent and it is experience with a big company anyway, so I said yes and I’m scheduled to start in about a month.

And then today (on a Monday so it’s been a weekend since I accepted the first job) a different recruiting agency reached out about an analyst role at another big company, which suits my background and experience much more. I sent in my info for review and if it looks like a good fit, I’ll interview for this job, but I feel guilty doing this while the first company offered me a job already (the second job is also in a different city, so I’d have to move for it too).

I asked my housemate about this, and she said it’s definitely unprofessional and will disappoint the first company, but if I do get the second job, I have to accept it because it’s better for me, but I wanted to get more opinions. Am I being jerk to the first company if I turn them down after I already said yes? And is it bad that I'm looking into other options even though they already offered me a job?

[illiterateaffairs]

DISTRACTIONS X | LET ME BACK IN

pairing: jamie tartt x f!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 8,787

summary: jamie’s upset that you’re keeping secrets from him and keeping him a secret. you need to find a way to fix everything.

A/N: Thank you all for your reactions on the last chapter. Even if you’re mad at the reader, I love that you guys care so much about her and Jamie. I hope despite the angst this chapter makes it a bit better...here we goooooo! xo

distractions masterlist | previous chapter  

Something was wrong with Jamie. And you had a feeling it was your fault. 

After you returned from your interview with the publishing house in New York, Jamie started acting differently. He was quiet and distant. When you tried to ask him about it, he brushed you off. At first you thought something had happened, and that he’d eventually tell you what was wrong in his own time. But that was a week ago and he still hadn’t given you any explanation as to what was making him act like this.

You think maybe he’s caught on to your own secrets, such as the job opportunity you still weren’t telling him about. The interview had gone well, so much so, that you were about to have your second. You had talked yourself up to telling him about it before then, but since he was already not talking to you, you didn’t want to make matters worse. Or you were using Jamie’s feelings as a perfect excuse to delay the inevitable. Either way, you weren’t any closer to explaining your behavior than he was explaining his. 

It was eating you up inside. You wanted to ask what was wrong, but you couldn’t bear the answer. You figured he was mad at you for all the secrets surrounding your relationship, and in a perfect world you’d give in and tell him everything. But you seized up every time you thought about doing so. It only made you feel even worse that he was pushing you away, and you were helpless to do anything about it. His behavior hurt you, but you couldn’t help but feel like you deserved it, so you took it. 

It was clear communication was something you both needed to work on.

You also didn’t want to pry too much because you figured AFC Richmond’s upcoming match against Man City was also getting to him. 

In the bits and pieces he’s told you about his dad, you knew he hadn’t seen him since they had it out when they played at Wembley. They were also going to Jamie’s hometown, and the die-hard Man City fans weren’t particularly thrilled when Jamie left the team for his brief reality tv stint. You can’t imagine how all of this is weighing on his chest. You imagine it's pretty hard, and again you just wish he’d come talk to you about it.

Today you decided to try giving Jamie complete space by not reaching out, with the hopes that maybe he would do so himself. In an effort to not sit around and wait by your phone, you go out to lunch with Keeley and Rebecca to enjoy your day off. 

Turns out it's exactly what you needed. Not only were you dying for a good meal - that Rebecca was paying for - you were in desperate need of girl talk. You were thrilled to catch up with both of them, and were even more excited to hear that Rebecca was investing in Keeley’s PR company so it didn’t have to completely shut down. You were also very intrigued when Rebecca made reference to Roy spending the night with Keeley a few nights ago, and upon questioning from both of you, Keeley played coy as to whether that meant her and the brooding football coach were getting back together. 

Unfortunately, that’s when the topic changed to your own romantic endeavors. Both of your friends inquired about how you and Jamie were doing. At first, you plastered on a polite smile, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to convince them everything was okay if you couldn’t even convince yourself. As soon as your faux-smile flips into a wobbling frown, both women sit up and are at the ready to comfort you. 

“We’re actually not great right now,” you choke out, feeling yourself becoming emotional about everything for the first time. Determined not to cry, you bite your tongue, “Jamie’s been distant lately and I’m pretty sure it's my fault.”

“Oh, babe,” Keeley sighs, brushing a piece of hair behind your ear, “What makes you say that?”

You take a deep breath, “First, that I’ve still been hesitant to tell everyone about us.”

Rebecca frowns from her seat on the other side of you, grasping your hand, “I’m sure he understands why you want to wait.”

“But I don’t even fully understand why,” you sigh, squeezing her hand, “And it's not just that. I’ve been lying to him about something else, too.”

Rebecca and Keeley remain quiet, giving you the space to admit it yourself. After collecting yourself, you begin to explain how you were interviewing for a literary job in New York, thanks to a friend back home. You told them it was going well, and that you had another interview set up in a couple days, and while you were excited to have a job in your dream career field, there was also something holding you back. And you didn’t want Jamie to worry about you moving away, especially if you didn’t know whether or not that was going to happen yet. But you fear he’s caught on to the sneaking around and is upset with you. 

You take a deep breath, after you word vomit every worry you were feeling. You were staring at the table throughout your whole explanation, and when you finally look up at them, they’re exchanging looks with each other.

“What?” you whisper, “Do you think I’m a horrible person?”

They rush to assure you they do not in fact think you’re horrible at all. They completely understand why you’ve been keeping this to yourself, but admit that it probably isn’t making Jamie feel good that you’re keeping something from him, even though he doesn’t know what it is. 

“I know its scary,” Keeley says softly, now holding on to your other hand, “But I don’t think Jamie will react as badly as you think. Yeah, he’d probably hate the idea of you leaving, but he’s also so supportive of you. You know that.”

You nod, “I do know that. I think it's just the last time I told someone I was with that I wanted to go after a new job, he made me feel like shit.”

Keeley scoffs, “Well that guy was an asshole and he’s not Jamie.”

“I know.” You repeat, firmly this time. Hesitantly, you turn your focus to Rebecca, “What about you? Are you upset that I've been considering another job?”

“Please, I’ve been waiting for this day to come since you started,” Rebecca chuckles, “You and I both knew this was just temporary, until you were in a better place to go after what you really wanted. I’m proud that you’re making those steps now.”

You close your eyes, absorbing her kind words. While it was reassuring to hear, it didn’t make any of this easier. 

“Even if it was supposed to be temporary, that didn’t stop me from finding the best people I’ve ever met,” you squeeze both of their hands, “I don’t want to leave any of you just as much as I don’t want to leave Jamie, even if it's what I’ve always wanted.”

Rebecca and Keeley exchange another look, this time with small smiles forming on their faces.

“What if we told you, you could do both?” Keeley asks mysteriously.

You narrow your eyes, “What? Did you suddenly invent teleportation or something?”

“No, better,” she smiles proudly, “I recently took on a new client who’s an up-and-coming author from Wales, who is signed under this major agency here is London. So, because I’m the best person ever, I reached out to his agent and told her all about you and the book you’re working on, and she’s interested in meeting with you.”

“A literary agent, in the U.K., is interested in meeting with me?” you ask, dumbfounded.

Keeley nods aggressively and Rebecca gives you a huge grin.

“So, if they like my work, they could potentially sign me, and I could stay in Richmond?”

“Yup,” Keeley confirms, “And then when you eventually finish your incredible book, I can be your publicist!”

You laugh in disbelief, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll think about it,” Rebecca says, “We know New York was where you wanted to be and maybe that’s still your dream, and we’d 100% support you. But if staying in Richmond is where you want to be now, you can do that too and still pursue writing.”

“Yeah, we love you, and we just want you to be happy,” Keeley assures, “Although, selfishly, I’d want you to stay here but that's just me.”

“No, I second that.” Rebecca quips.

“But totally no pressure,” Keeley tacks on, and after a beat, the three of you burst into a fit of giggles. 

“Thank you, both,” you smile genuinely, “For everything but mostly being so supportive. I appreciate you looking out for me, and I will definitely consider meeting with that agent.”

“Good,” Rebecca cheers, pulling her hand from yours to clap hers together, “Everything will work out, career wise and with Jamie, too. I know it.”

Keeley squeezes your hand again, before returning to finishing her brunch, and your conversation swings back to what Rebecca has had going on. While you still needed to fix things with Jamie, as well as figure out what the hell you wanted to do with your writing, you had a feeling no matter what happened, everything would be okay. 

Contrary to feeling more confident in your situation, it had only gotten worse. Over the last few days, Jamie had gone from distancing himself from you to completely ghosting you. Your attempts at reaching out weren’t completely ignored, but his responses were minimal and you could tell were excuses. At work he’d avoid you, and when you invited him over, he’d say he was either tired from training or doing extra training. Again, you couldn’t pretend it didn’t sting, but you tried to push it all away, hoping after the Manchester game, he’d start feeling differently. 

Meanwhile, you were also grappling with not one, but two job opportunities. The one Kara presented was in your dream city, but the one Keeley offered would keep you here with your new found-family. Both were appealing, but both scared the shit of you. Moving to yet another city was a big deal, but staying in one just for someone else was a mistake you’ve made before. Not that Jamie was at all like Mason. You knew that above all else. But it was still something to consider. Plus, it was anxiety inducing having two of your friends get you these chances that felt a little unearned, especially with how you’ve been handling everything. It was a lot to process, and the one person who usually helps you relax was avoiding you. By no fault but your own. 

Jesus, you were getting no work done today, with all of these other problems taking up space in your brain. Plus you were hiding from Ted’s mom in an effort to keep your secret, because she in fact did not know about everything. 

“Oi!” you jump at the sound of your office door being busted open, a booming voice accompanying it, “You need to fix your boyfriend.”

With your hand over your chest, trying to settle your racing heart, you give Roy Kent an apprehensive look, your eyes flitting to the hallway behind him.

Roy rolls his eyes, “Most of the team has cleared out for the night. No one’s going to hear us.”

Still, he invites himself into the room and pushes the door shut rather aggressively, before plopping himself down in the seat across from yours with his arms crossed.

You calm down a bit, but you still feel nervous with the glare he was giving you. Did his eyebrows get thicker?

“What do you mean?” you ask eventually, wondering if you come off like you don’t know exactly what he’s talking about.

“Tartt,” Roy spits out, “He just spent the last fifteen minutes crying into my arms.”

Your face falls, “He did?”

“Yeah. Said he’s lost his wings.”

“Jesus,” you mutter with a frown. “Did he tell you why he feels like that?”

Roy shakes his head, “He says he doesn’t even know.” You bite your lip, breaking eye contact with him. He tilts his head, “Something tells me you might have an idea.”

You sigh, crossing your own arms before looking at him again, “He’s been acting off the last week or so.” Roy nods. “I think it has something to do with the Man City match coming up.”

Roy grunts, “That doesn’t surprise me.”

You hesitate before adding on, “And I probably have something to do with it, too.”

Roy furrows his brows again, “What did you do?”

You grit your teeth, “I think it's more about what I’m not doing. I’ve had some personal stuff I’ve been sorting through recently that I’ve been keeping to myself. And I can tell he’s been wanting to tell everyone about us even though he says it's fine that we’re not.”

“So?” Roy shrugs, “Just fucking tell everyone.”

“It's not that simple.”

“Why not?” he questions, “Are you embarrassed of him or something?”

“No! Of course not. I do want people to know.”

“Then why not tell people?”

“Because every time I think about telling anyone - the team, my family - I get this horrible feeling in my chest and I feel like I can’t breathe. I don’t know why, but it freaks me out.”

Roy’s silent for a second before letting out a “Huh.” Another moment goes by, “You should talk to Ted about that.”

Inwardly you laugh. Oh, how that was only another part of the problem. A problem you still didn’t understand the root of.

“Either way,” Roy continues, “I think you should at least tell Jamie this. He needs you.”

“Don’t you think I’ve tried?” you say, “He’s barely talked to me the last few days, and when he does it's nothing of substance. I want to help him but I don’t know how to get him to let me.”

Once again Roy doesn’t say anything right away. You instead decide to break the silence this time.

“Maybe Keeley would be able to get through to him,” you suggest softly, “She already kind of knows something’s up and she’s known him longer. Maybe he’ll listen to her.”

Roy looks as apprehensive about the idea as you sound, but you both know it's not a bad one. Eventually he nods and stands up.

“I’ll ask her,” he states. You take that as the end of your conversation before Roy turns back in your direction in the doorway, “You’re going to have to talk to him eventually. Jamie may be stubborn and weird and a fucking idiot sometimes, but you’re important to him. He’ll come around.”

You give him a slight smile, though it's a bit forced, and thank him. He nods once, his lip quirking up a bit in what must be his version of a smile, before he disappears down the hall. 

Maybe if you couldn’t fix Jamie someone else could.

Apparently no one knew how to fix Jamie. 

While you hadn’t heard from him into the next day, Roy and Keeley had informed you she’d try to talk to him when everyone arrived in Man City. You waited in the suite you were sharing with her and Rebecca, anxiously hoping she’d come back and announce he was magically doing better. But, when she quietly entered the hotel room, the look on her face told you everything.

“He’s still upset?” You question already knowing the answer.

Keeley regretfully nods, “And I think I made it worse.”

“How could you have possibly made it worse?” you exclaim. 

“I didn’t mean to!” Keeley cries, her hands shaking, “But there’s team movie night, tonight, right? Maybe some time with the team and a good, old-fashioned rom-com will cheer him up.”

“I don’t know, Keeley,” you sigh. You hesitate for a few seconds, before asking, “Did he say anything about me?”

Keeley looks at the carpeted floor, “Not really. I brought you up - said you were worried about him - and he just looked sad and didn’t say anything.”

“Fuck,” you breath out, collapsing backwards on your bed, “Did I break him?”

“No,” Keeley urges, jumping on to the bed beside you, “Trust me it can’t be just your shit. The boy is unhinged right now.”

You snort despite the situation. 

“Come on,” Keeley nudges you, “Let's get a drink, relax a little, go to the movie night and see if we can’t talk to him after, yeah?”

You sigh again, before reluctantly nodding and letting her pull you up and out of the room. 

Jamie needed to clear his head. Contrary to what he had hoped, a team viewing of You’ve Got Mail was not enough to lift his spirits. In fact, he could hardly get through five minutes of the movie without thinking of you. And thinking of you came with a reminder of how you’d been hiding things from him, and then how he’d cowardly been avoiding you instead of facing the problem head on. Of course those anxieties also doubled when he remembered the game he was playing this weekend. 

He felt guilty for shutting you out. Of course he did. He honestly hadn’t meant for it to get this far, he was just trying to figure out how to bring it all up. But then he started spiraling about returning to his home town and seeing his dad that it all became too much. He wanted nothing more than to talk to you about his worries, but you were apart of the reason he was so anxious. He could sense your own guilt - especially during the movie when he could feel your eyes staring at the back of his head. But he was still afraid of where the conversation would lead, so he once again pushed those feelings away. 

Jamie knew there was one place he could go that would instantly make him feel better. And that was his mother’s house.

As soon as the credits rolled, Ted was calling for a 10PM curfew, but Jamie was on his way out. He expertly navigated the streets of Manchester, hoodie pulled over his head to avoid unwanted attention. About halfway through his commute, he caught onto the fact that you, Roy, and Keeley were trailing him. Despite his avoidance of all three of them, he couldn’t help but feel amused that they were trying to sneakily follow him. 

After leading them through a tunnel, in which the trio lost track of him, he doubled back and snuck up on them. Once again, he was satisfied that he’d managed to startle the three, but then he noticed the worry on your face, and he was reminded of the situation you were all in. He briefly considered ordering them away, until Keeley asked if he was buying drugs, so he figured ridding them of any weird suspicions they may have about him would get them off of his back. 

As he led them unknowingly to his mum’s house, he felt a pain in his stomach knowing you were purposely leaving space between the two of you as you followed behind. He wanted nothing more than to take your hand, but just because you felt bad about hiding things from him, didn’t absolve you of everything. 

When they arrived on his street, a few of the neighborhood kids started yelling obscenities at him. Jamie just shook his head, knowing as well that Roy was definitely amused, before walking them over to his house. 

Simon, his step-dad, greets them warmly and Jamie introduces them to his three confused companions. Then before he knows it, his mum is bounding down the stairs and all of his anxiety begins to melt away as she engulfs him into her arms. 

Pulling away briefly, he turns back to see the curious looks on your faces, “Mummy, I’d like to introduce you to my friends, Y/N, Keeley and this hairy prick’s Roy.”

You smile sweetly in recognition as you all greet Jamie’s mom, but Jamie can tell you’re still caught off guard. 

“It’s lovely to meet you all. I’d give you a hug but I’m not letting go of this one,” Jamie’s mom, Georgie, says cheerfully before Jamie picks her up and spins her around.

The lot of you end up in the living room after that, Jamie collapsing in his mother’s arms on the couch as Simon serves the rest of you with some of his homemade sweet treats. After Jamie tells her about the jerks online making fun of his hair, Georgie suggests that Simon give the rest of you a tour of the house. As they all file out, Jamie looks up at you. You give him a tiny smile; one that somehow conveyed guilt, sorrow, and support. Jamie was both happy you were here and scared as hell about where this night was going to go.

Now left alone with his mum, she finally presses Jamie to confess to what has been bothering him. He begins to explain how ever since he stopped playing football to spite his dad, he’s begun to feel like he’s lost his passion; that his heart wasn’t in it. 

Georgie frowns and holds her son closer. She lets him know that whether or not Jamie was the way he was in spite of his father, he was an amazing human. She also admits to how emotional she was when she saw him play for England. She assured him that even if his dad was in the stands tomorrow, drunk and screaming at him, it didn’t matter. He had nothing to prove to him. Even if he was feeling lost, she was positive he’d find his way eventually. 

Jamie instantly felt comforted by his mum’s words, hugging her tighter. He knew that no matter what happened with his dad, he’d always have her and she’d always be his biggest fan. 

After her speech, they sit in silence for a few moments, with his mum brushing her fingers through his hair.

“Jamie, is something else bothering you other than your dad?” she asks softly. 

Jamie plays with the strings of his sweatshirt, not even sure where to begin when it comes to you. He hadn’t told his mum about you officially, but he certainly hadn’t shied away from mentioning you over phone calls the duration that you’d been here. 

“There’s also a girl,” he says slowly, “That I’ve been seeing the last couple months.”

He can feel his mum smirk into his hairline, “One of the girls that came here with you tonight?” Jamie already knows his mum knows about Keeley, but he still clarifies that it's you. “And you like her?”

Jamie sighs. Like doesn’t even begin to cover it. “I’m mad for her.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I think she’s hiding some things from me,” he admits quietly, “And she’s also been keen on keeping our relationship a secret from most of our friends and I dunno why. I’m afraid she’s ashamed of me.”

“But she treats you well? Makes you happy?”

“Yeah.”

“Then she’s probably just scared, babe,” she tries to soothe his worries, “I doubt she’s keeping things a secret for any reason to hurt you.”

“But why would she be scared?” he questions, “I’m not going anywhere. I’m not going to hurt her. I’ve done and said everything to make sure she knows that. Well, up until I started avoiding her the last few days.”

Georgie shakes her head at that last bit, but ignores it, “It doesn’t matter what you say. If voices in her head are telling her otherwise, they’re still going to be louder than any other voice even if it's unreasonable. This is the girl you told me about right? The one with the asshole boyfriend from America?”

“Ex-boyfriend,” Jamie mutters making his mother chuckle.

“She’s probably still reeling from the way he treated her. Even if you prove that you’re not anything like him, it's still gonna take some time for her to fully trust you. Or anyone. You need to be patient with her, love.”

Jamie sighs. He knows she’s right. He has his own voices in his head working against him half the time, he should be more understanding of whatever is going on in your own head. He gets that you’ve been fucked over before, and you’re definitely putting up walls because of it. He just wishes there was something he could do or say that would erase all of the emotional scars you had. But again, maybe that was something you could work on together. He just needed to actually step up and talk to you. 

Even though you and Jamie have been in a rocky place, you are enjoying the tour of his childhood home. There are so many little things throughout the house that give you a glimpse into Jamie’s life, you try to memorize it all. You’re loving everything you learn, that is, until you make it to Jamie’s room and see the poster of Keeley with two footballs covering her breasts. You feel a little weird seeing a picture of your friend and boyfriend's ex in his childhood bedroom, but part of you is equally amused, especially with Keeley’s reaction. And then there’s an old photo of Roy pinned right beside it that completes it all. 

Simon leaves the three of you alone to check on his baked goods in the oven. You eventually excuse yourself to the bathroom in order to gather your thoughts, but also to give Roy and Keeley the chance to talk. You’ve been sensing the tension between them all night, despite their insistence on just being friends.

As soon as you shut yourself in the hall bathroom, you stare at your face in the mirror. You look downright exhausted. And you were. All of the worrying you were doing about Jamie, on top of the shit you were keeping from him, was weighing heavily on you. Seeing him turn into a little kid in the presence of his mom both melted and broke your heart. He was clearly hurting for a million reasons, and it killed you to even be one. It also hurt you when he introduced you to his mom as a friend, but it was your own doing. 

Splashing water on your face, you begin to question everything. Why did you really want to keep your relationship with Jamie a secret? You have half a mind to send an email blast to the entire club right now saying you’re together, but even the half-baked idea makes your stomach hurt. But why? Why couldn’t you just be a normal person and tell the world you had a boyfriend. It wasn’t a big deal.

Except it was. Because it was Jamie. And with all his quirks and occasionally prick-like qualities, you adored him. More than you’ve ever adored anyone. It was the biggest deal in the world and you didn’t want to risk messing it up. 

But you already have. 

That’s it, you decide, staring your reflection down as you dry your face with a hand towel. You were going to tell Jamie everything. About Ted. About your job conundrum. And then once the air was cleared and Jamie - hopefully - still wanted to be with you, you’d hopefully feel better and be able to tell the world. You don't give yourself the chance to change your mind. As soon as you were back in Richmond you would talk. But hopefully you get the chance to at least apologize to him tonight. If he lets you. 

You don’t have to wonder about that long. As you exit the bathroom, you nearly run full force into Jamie, but he gently grabs your arms to steady you.

Your heart doesn’t settle though, as you find yourself alone with Jamie for the first time in what feels like ages. 

“Hi,” you breathe out shakily, studying his eyes for any sign of what he might say to you.

“Hi,” he repeats just as quietly, slowly and reluctantly, removing his arms from around you.

After a few seconds of silence, both of you open your mouths to apologize, but as soon as the words ‘i’m sorry’ leave his lips, you’re frowning.

“Jamie, you have nothing to be sorry for,” you insist, “You’re the one who’s been hurting these last couple weeks, and I have been the one to make it worse.”

Jamie shakes his head, “But I do have a reason. I fucked up. I should have just told you what was bothering me instead of pushing you away. You don’t deserve that.”

“I-”

“You don’t.” he states, leaving no room for argument.

You swallow thickly, “Why did you? Push me away, I mean?”

Jamie shrugs his shoulders, “I think I was afraid if I confronted the issue, that’d you tell me you didn’t want to be with me or something. So I just shoved it all down. But that clearly didn’t help.”

You sigh, “I get that. I still want to be with you, though, just so you know.”

The corner of Jamie’s lips lift, but it's still wobbly, “What has been going on with you then? I know you’re keeping something from me, and I know it has something to do with why you don’t want to tell anyone about us. I want to respect your decision, but it honestly has been killing me not telling anyone.” Jamie’s voice gets small, “Is it me? Are you embarrassed of me? Am I not good enough?”

“No, Jamie,” you step forward and gently place your hands on his face, relieved he doesn’t push you away, “You know that’s not it. I like you so much and I’m proud to be with you.”

“Then why don’t you want anyone to know?”

“You want the honest answer?” He nods. “I don’t know,” you whisper, “It scares me, Jamie. I don’t know why, but the idea of more people knowing makes me even more afraid of losing you somehow. I know that doesn’t make sense, but for whatever reason, keeping to our bubble makes me feel like I can protect us from anything bad happening.”

“Babe?” he quips quietly, “Something did happen. That’s why we’re having this conversation.”

You sigh, defeated, “I know. I told you I’m bad at this.” 

Jamie frowns and wraps you in his arms, “You’re not any worse than me. We just need to talk to each other.”

“Yeah,” you nod into his shoulder, “I promise I have more I want to tell you - and I will actually tell you - but it’d probably be better to do once we’re back home.”

Jamie’s heart swells. He knows you don’t mean anything by the word home, but he can’t help but feel comforted by the phrasing. “That sounds good,” he says softly, pulling back slightly so he can see your face, “Promise me, it's nothing bad. Like, you’re not seeing someone else, and you’re not wanted for murder, right?”

You laugh, despite the weight of the situation, “No, it's none of those things.” 

“Good,” Jamie smiles softly, “And I promise not to ignore you the next time I’m upset.”

“Thank you,” you give him your own watery smile, “Are you going to be okay, tomorrow? At the game, potentially seeing your dad?”

“I don’t know. I hope so,” he answers honestly, “Seeing mum always helps.”

Your smile widens, “Yeah. Your mom is wonderful. I’m really glad you have her.” You brush a few strands of hair out of his face, “I also promise next time we visit it will be under better circumstances, and you won’t have to introduce me as your friend.”

Jamie grins, “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” 

“I’m still okay with waiting as long as you need,” Jamie adds, “I’m scared, too. Also eager to brag about my insanely hot girlfriend everywhere I go. But I can wait. As long as you need.”

You giggle, “Thank you.”

“Alright, let’s get Keeley and Roy, and get out of here.” Jamie states, making a move in the direction of his bedroom. However, you tug him back.

“One more thing,” you whisper, before planting your lips on his for a long awaited kiss. When you eventually part, you both smile, “I missed that.”

“Me too,” Jamie nods before pressing his forehead against yours, “Never going that long without doing that ever again.”

You chuckle and agree, before you both part to collect Roy and Keeley. When you reenter Jamie’s room, you find the pair with their hands interlocked. They react as if they were in the middle of something - which they clearly were - but Keeley stands up and drags you out of the room, leaving the boys behind. You make a mental note to ask her about that later. 

Outside o the house, the four of you say goodbye to Jamie’s mom and step-dad. His mom surprises you and gives you an extra tight hug. You have a feeling she probably already knows a thing or two about your relationship with Jamie. You find yourself unbothered by this though, and hope you find yourself feeling this way about telling your own family soon. 

You watch on and admire Jamie and his mother as they say goodbye. You’re once again so thankful he has a parent like her in his life, and that he’s clearly gotten the best parts of himself from her. He also definitely gained much of his confident arrogance from the way she talks about him, but he wouldn’t be Jamie without it so you can’t complain. 

After one last wave, and a promise to return, the four of you head down the road, making plans to get a drink upon arrival back to the hotel. 

The rest of the night you feel a sense of relief flood you. You and Jamie were okay. More than okay, in fact, you come to realize, when he’s propositioning you to come back to his room with him. A room he wasn’t sharing with a teammate, he’s sure to emphasize. You of course eagerly accept, and spend the night wrapped in Jamie’s arms before falling into a blissful sleep. 

You find yourself thinking about your late night hook-up when you lie awake early the next morning. Things were different between you. They were more intimate, even by your standards. It was like you used your bodies to convey every ounce of how sorry you were, and how much you cared about one another. It was slow. Tender. Loving. 

Before you can linger too much on that thought, Jamie’s eyes are fluttering open as he lays on the pillow next to you. As soon as he blinks the sleepiness out of his eyes, he gives you a warm smile, which you return.

“Good morning,” he whispers, running his fingers through your messy hair.

“Good morning to you, too.”

“I wish I could stay here with you all day, but…”

“You’ve got to get ready for the game.” you finish for him.

He nods regretfully before pushing himself out of bed. Before he can get too far, you reach for his arm.

“Will you be okay out there today?” you ask, once again.

And again, Jamie seems unsure, but he plasters another small smile on his face before leaning down to give you a kiss, “As long as you’re there watching, I’ll be fine.”

You can’t help but smile back, pecking him one last time before shooing him off to get ready.

With another moment alone, you once again feel relieved that you and Jamie are back in a better place. However, you feel that familiar ache in your chest that something is missing; that you still have things to make up for. You know you still have a lot to explain to him, but that could wait until tomorrow. You needed to see Jamie win this game first. 

Richmond’s match against Man City on this day will go down as one of the most stressful football games you’ve ever witnessed. 

Everything started out smoothly. You watched enthusiastically from a box, seated in between Keeley and Rebecca, with Higgins on her other side. Van Damme was blocking every attempt made by the opposing team, and Jamie assisted Colin in making the first goal of the match. As you and your friends cheered, Leslie was hesitant to celebrate in fear of jinxing the team, so he stayed frozen in place.

Unfortunately, things took a turn after that. It was like the whole stadium was against Jamie. From the moment he walked onto the pitch, angry Man City fans were booing and cursing his name. Not only that, it seemed like every player on Manchester’s side was out to get the footballer, knocking him down or stealing the ball every chance they got. 

You watched on nervously, trying not to let it get to you. It was the name of the game. But it didn’t mean you had to like it. 

Half way through the game, the worst of your fears happened. In an effort to prevent Man City from scoring, Jamie leapt to block the ball and hurt his ankle in the process. You watched with bated breath when he wouldn’t get up from his spot hunched behind the goal line. He brushed off Isaac’s attempts to help him, and eventually got up himself. You let out a sigh of relief, until after walking a few feet, Jamie is falling back onto the pitch and the medical team is rushing onto the field.

“Holy shit,” you mutter under your breath.

Keeley takes your hand in hers and gives it a squeeze. “Hey, it's okay. Jamie’s going to be okay.” But you can tell she sounds just as nervous as you feel. 

You don’t know how long you’re waiting to see if Jamie will make it back up, but its torture. Ted is clearly banking on Jamie being able to play again, refusing to substitute anyone for him and having the team play with ten players instead of eleven. For their part, they’re holding down the fort, and Van Damme continues to block every shot. But you don’t care about the game, you just care about Jamie. 

At this point, both Rebecca and Keeley have a hold on each of your hands as you watch the medics look after Jamie. You know the coaches must be getting restless, because Ted goes to talk to Jamie again. You wish nothing more than to be able to rush down onto the pitch and comfort him yourself, but you trust that Ted is giving him the pep talk he needs to hear. 

And it seems as though you were right, because minutes after talking to Ted, Jamie is up and walking back onto the field, to the excitement of the crowd and his teammates. 

You feel a weight lifted off of your shoulders, letting go of your friends’ hands to clap for him yourself. 

“Yeah, let's go Jamie!” 

It was as if the next few moments happen in slow motion. After defending another goal against Man City, Van Damme is sending the ball down the field to an open Jamie, who expertly navigates around several opponents to get towards Richmond’s goal. You watch in awe as Jamie scores the team’s second point, bad ankle and all, all on his own. 

You practically fly out of your seat to cheer for him, screaming and jumping around with Keeley and Rebecca. In the midst of the stadium’s celebration, a whistle blows to finally send in Jamie’s substitution. Looking a bit shell-shocked and relieved, Jamie slowly makes his way off the field, but it's not without a proud send off from the entire crowd - including the Man City fans who were previously cheering against him.

Jamie’s touched face fills the jumbo-screen, and your heart swells with adoration. You know how much this has to mean to him. You also feel overcome with love for your uncle, who let Jamie have his moment before taking him out of the game. 

You had never felt more proud of Jamie, and you were once again overcome with the urge to run to him. 

You sit anxiously through the final moments of the game and rejoice in yet another celebration when the clock finally runs down and Richmond is declared the winner. Even as you embrace both of your friends in all the excitement, your thoughts are still consumed by Jamie.

You needed to see him. 

You can hear your heart pounding in your ears, as you walk with Keeley, Rebecca, and Higgins down to the guest locker room. You try not to appear over-eager, wanting to remain in step with your friends, but you find it hard to resist the temptation to run ahead of them. After what feels like a trillion years, you make it to the locker room, finding the team’s celebration in full force. You break away from your group, as they go to congratulate the coaches. Part of you also desperately wants to talk to Ted, about a lot of things, but particularly how much you appreciate him for being there for Jamie tonight, but you had to see Jamie first. Your eyes scan the room as you walk through, congratulating Colin and Dani as you pass each of them, before you finally notice Jamie, towards the middle of the room. Sam had his arm around him, most likely supporting his teammate with his injury and all. 

Not even really processing that your feet take you there, you find yourself in front of the footballers. Sam sees you first, giving you a blinding smile. You don’t hesitate to return it, but your attention is hard pressed on Jamie, and Sam seems to get the memo. 

“You’re here!” Jamie exclaims, breathless from the excitement, and a bit confused about what you’re doing.

You nod, “Yeah,” you shout over the noise, a bit breathless yourself. “You were…incredible out there.”

Jamie squints at you, though he’s thankful for the compliment, “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” you bob your head up and down, still running on adrenaline. 

Jamie’s confusion is palpable, but when he goes to say something else, you don’t give him the fucking chance. 

Like a force, you wrap your arms around Jamie’s neck and pull him in for an earth-shattering kiss. You feel Jamie’s surprise, but it's short-lived as he wraps his own arms around your waist. You balance Jamie’s weight as Sam lets him go, only to start cheering for the two of you. This, of course, grabs the attention of the rest of the team, who immediately join in when they see what the two of you are doing. 

You hear shouts of surprise and excitement, and a few people shaking your shoulders, but you couldn’t care less. Your focus was entirely on Jamie, who was giving you the best kiss of your life right now. Unfortunately, breathing was still a thing so you had to pull away. When you do, you can’t look away from Jamie’s eyes, that are once again overcome with emotion. You imagine you look the same.

“Is this really happening?” Jamie eventually gets out, shakily.

All you can do is nod again, with a breathless laugh, “I think so.”

Jamie eagerly kisses you again before engulfing you in the tightest hug. Into his shoulder, you whisper how proud you are of him, and he only squeezes you closer to him, if at all possible.

Over his shoulder, you notice the rest of the club. Roy and Keeley look on at you two happily - or as happy as Roy Kent can look. Higgins for his part looks delighted as well, and Rebecca looks proud as hell. Beard looks like he’s frozen in place from the shock. And Ted…

You hadn’t really thought about how you were doing this in front of Ted.

When you study him, he is exchanging a look with Rebecca, who shrugs her shoulders innocently. Ted looks back at you, a little bit stunned, and a little bit amused. When he makes eye contact, you find yourself opening your mouth as if you could explain from where you were through all the commotion. He just raises his hand, signaling there was no need to say or do anything, and then he gives you a supportive smile.

You are once again flooded with relief. You knew you would eventually have to talk to him about everything, and explain more to Jamie as well. But at this moment, everything felt right in the world for the first time in a long time. 

The team’s victory celebration carries on throughout their bus trip back to Nelson Road and into the locker room as most of them get changed for a night out. Jamie elects to stay behind, wanting to rest his ankle, and also get a bit of alone time with you. 

You help Jamie walk to the treatment room, before telling him you were going to grab something from your car. He, of course, doesn’t let you leave without pulling you in for another kiss. He’d been kissing you any chance he got all night, basking in the freedom he now had to do so as he pleased. You had to admit, you could definitely get used to all the affection.

For your part, though, you didn’t need anything in your car. You just wanted the chance to task Roy and Keeley to find some champagne, so Jamie could still have his own little celebration. But you also wanted to talk to Ted. 

On your way to the coaches office, you pass Beard who is headed to the after party. When he clocks you, he gives you a wide eyed look. 

“You, missy, are my shit list,” he states, crossing his arms.

“What for?” you cross your own arms, “You want Jamie all to yourself or something?”

“No, Jamie’s not my type,” he teases, “I’m hurt that you didn’t tell me.”

You chuckle, “To be fair, I didn’t tell a lot of people.”

“Still, I thought we were closer than that.”

You give him a smile, uncrossing your arms to touch his shoulder. “I promise the next time I secretly date a footballer on the team you coach, you’ll be the first to know.”

“Thank you,” he places his own hand over yours, before pointing a finger at you, “But this better be the first and only time that happens.”

You giggle again. He kisses your head, letting you know that he is very happy for you, before disappearing into the night, as Beard does. 

That leaves you to find Ted alone in his office, packing up his bag. You knock on the doorframe, getting his attention, and immediately receiving a playful grin from him. 

“There she is,” he sing-songs, “Mrs. Jamie Tartt.”

You scoff, “Woah. Woah. Woah. We aren’t betrothed.”

Ted snorts, “I know. I just like teasing you, Kiddo.”

You laugh lightly, before you decide that it's now or never to address the elephant in the room. 

“I’m sorry for not telling you,” you say softly. 

Ted shakes his head, “There’s nothing to apologize for.”

You nod, but you don’t feel any less sorry. 

“Does Jamie know about our little family-affair?” Ted eventually asks.

You shake your head, “No. Was thinking I’d wait to tell him tomorrow, but…”

Ted nods, seemingly knowing exactly what you’re thinking, “You’re scared?”

“Yes,” you breathe out deeply, “But I don’t get it. I can’t tell him about you. I haven’t been able to tell you or Michelle or Dad and Pop about him. I really, really like him and I should be able to tell everyone that. But it terrifies me and I don’t understand why.

“I do,” Ted sticks his hands in his pockets and raises his shoulders, “Because as soon as you say something like that out loud, especially to the people who know and love you most, it makes it real. And that’s what's scary.”

You suck in a huge gulp of air, “Yes. That’s exactly how I’ve been feeling. I just didn’t know how to put it into words.”

Ted nods, continuing, “And telling family is twice as hard, because they’re the people who know you better than anyone else. They can call you on your bullshit, but they also know when something is the real deal. Which is probably why you never told us about what was really going on with Mason.”

You narrow your eyes at him, “How do you…”

“Rebecca may have mentioned a couple things in passing,” he admits, “She is not a fan of him to say the least. Rightfully so, it seems.”

“Yeah,” you agree shakily, “Even though Jamie is a lot different than Mason, I think I didn’t want to hear truths I wasn’t ready to accept yet.”

You did everything you could to keep your family and Mason out of the same room - and Mason made it easy - because you weren’t ready to have them all tell you how bad he was for you, even though you knew it deep down. But with Jamie, you just weren't ready to accept how important he was to you.

“It’s all understandable, Kiddo,” Ted states, “And I’m sorry that you went through that alone for a bit.”

You shrug it off, “I was okay. I wasn’t completely alone.”

Ted’s eyebrows raise, “Apparently so.” 

You feel your cheeks get hot, “That’s not exactly what I mean, but yeah, Jamie was certainly nice to have around the last few months.”

Your uncle chuckles, “Well, I’m happy that you found each other. I know you don’t need my approval or anyone else's, but I think you two are really great for each other.” 

Your stomach swirls, comforted by this notion. “Thank you. I think Jamie would be happy to hear that, too.”

“Well, I’ll be sure to let him know once you finally get your act together and introduce him to the family,” you roll your eyes, “Now, get outta here, Kiddo, and give that boy some company.”

You nod, taking a half step out the door before immediately spinning around to capture him in a big hug, “Love you, Uncle Ted.”

Ted sighs quietly, “Love you, too, Kiddo.”

Ted once again shoos you out of his office, and you bid him a goodnight, telling him to give Dottie a hug for you. 

When you rejoin Jamie in the treatment room, you find him typing away on his phone. He pockets it when he notices you come in, and gives you a sweet smile. 

As you join him on the infirmary bed he’s perched on, you press another chaste kiss to his lips. Jamie struggles to think of a time where’s been happier. He had you, and the rest of his people knew. He couldn’t ask for anything else. As you lean against his shoulder, and once again recount how proud you are of the game he played today, he can’t help but stare at you and take in just how special you are to him. He wants to find the words to express this to you, and a certain L word nearly leaves his lips, when he hears the door open to reveal Roy and Keeley. 

Jamie looks up at them curiously, brushing off how flustered he is from his previous thoughts, “What are you two doing here?”

“I invited them,” you speak up, drawing his attention back to you as you give him a smile.

“Yeah, wanted to keep you company,” Keeley adds with a bright smile of her own.

Roy reveals a bottle of champagne from behind his back, “And fucking celebrate.”

Keeley squeals and claps as you squeeze him into a hug. While Jamie would have loved a night just the two of you, he can’t complain when he’s surrounded by a group of people who care about him. He never thought he’d be so lucky. 

As Roy pops open the bottle and starts passing it around, you also can’t help but feel warmed by this moment. As the four of you share the champagne and joke around, you’re in disbelief that you’ve made it here; to be surrounded by genuine friends and a boy who was crazy about you. Not to mention becoming closer to your family again with Beard and Ted around. You still had a lot to sort out regarding your career, but one thought echoed through your brain the rest of that night:

Why would you ever want to leave this place?

A/N: THERE IT IS!! oof i poured my heart into this one and can’t wait to hear what you all think! the secret is out!!! mostly. ted has something to say next as well all know. anyway. TWO CHAPTERS LEFT!💗

Taglist: @atabigail @escapismqueen @boundtomyfate @sammysgirl1997 @lil-tracys @shephard17895 @alaspice @itsbarbraann @redpool @drmeghanjones @straightforwardly @alex-sulli @aiyaiy @artemismaximoff @roadtoself-love @theloud-yet-quietone @forcesofgrief @kirisimpster @geek-and-proud @grippleback-galaxy @lalla-04p @gabbycoady13 @royalestrellas @qardasngan @creationcitystreet-em @percysaidnever @emily-b @mrfitzsimmons @k-n-e @agentstarkid @legobatmans9thab @mrsprongs25 @sokkigarden @for-fuck-sake-im-alive @dollfaceyourfear @dicgohargreeves @heyitz-julia @vampirodelascajas @grxcesmind @lizziel1410 @a-sweet-little-fangirl @bcon24 @looooooooomis @queen-of-dumbasses @moseyluvs @alipap3 @amachira @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @daphneblakeswife @chelseamount @k0z3me @lickitandsendit3 @miakat9 @shimmeringfrenchie @meg-ro @selmasemlan @hellfire-babez @rockchickrebel​ @katdahlali​ @taytaylala12​ @lemonpiegurll​ @pri00r​ @brianandthemays​ @afraidofshrimp​ @curlypeter​ @sonyume​ @rexorangecouny​ @thewildestwonderland​ @cyphah @buckybarnex @eviemae263782 @piper570 @ibong-adarnaaa @spookysins @optimisticsandwichgladiator @marveltg365 @ringpopdust @gcidrvsh @beardsplitter @scaramou it wouldn’t let me tag the last few of you, let me know if its something with your settings, otherwise i can keep trying in future updates! <3      

[r3starttt]

Can you do something about drummer Abby and makeup artist reader?

Thank you, I love the ellie in an interview ❤️

MAKE IT UP TO ME

Drummer! Abby x makeup artist! reader

You’ve always loved makeup, a lot. Your biggest dream was to become a professional makeup artist, and you were determined to. So when you finally got a job you felt like your life was solved.

But it wasn’t, apparently if you don’t work on your own there’s always gonna be people that cause trouble in your life. You got fired because some jealous coworker which you didn’t even get to know the name, said some shit about you.

And you thought it was all over because apparently no one hires people if they don’t have enough experience. And you stood jobless for a while, until your best friend, Nora, helped you get a job.

And now you’re here, on your fifth concert, doing makeup to an apparently very famous band that pays you more than enough. Most of them would ask you for very extravagant makeups, especially the main singer of the band, so you had to take a while with each member due to the details.

So when it was time to get to the drummer you mostly ended alone with her, which you didn’t mind at all because she’s hot and really nice to talk to. Also it’s been pretty helpful because you’ve get to be closer with the band as well that way.

“Gosh people’s so loud today” you could hear the fans screaming outside. The place they were doing today’s concert was pretty small, like a local theater kinda “yeah… we’ve been getting a lot of support lately, hopefully soon we’ll get to perform on bigger stages” Abby’s eyes were closed as she spoke. You were doing a type of messy look, smudged eyeliner, some dark eyeshadow and a bit or mascara.

“You’re planing on performing maybe in other states?” you grabbed the eyeliner and started to apply it on her eyes, smudging it with your finger “we’d like to, but it doesn’t really depends on us. But if we do you’re definitely coming with us” you couldn’t help but smile, she’s just being nice but when you’re almost on top of her, while she has her eyes closed and her voice sounds so pretty to you, what else is there to think?

“I’d love to, thanks” you can see her smile widening a bit “you’re ready abs, tell me if there’s anything else you want to add” you step aside, allowing the blonde to look at the mirror in front of her and check on her makeup “all good” she says, standing up from the chair. And you can’t help but stare at her tall and strong figure which totally hides whenever she sits for you to do her makeup.

She’s wearing a black tank top and some gray military pants with a pair of black boots, and the contrast it does with her skin and hair as well as the makeup is killing you because how does she look hotter than any other day? However your thoughts get interrupted by her voice.

“You’re free tomorrow? I’d like to take you somewhere” she says it so casual, as she puts on a baggy jacket, and you can only stare at her in shock “I’d take you out tonight but we got plans already and I’d like to do something better than just getting drunk and talk about the show with you” she finally turned around and it would be a total lie to say you don’t look nervous because you can see her laughing a bit as she stares at you.

“Yeah, just…. send me a message tomorrow morning” you said trying your best to sound as confident as her. she just nodded and walked out of the room. later that night when you were with the band as usual, celebrating another show, you two could only stare at each other. She always sat besides you, but that night she was touchier than usual and fuck you needed to see her again, alone.

Just as you woke up you checked on your phone and gladly, a message from Abby was the first thing you saw. She just remind you to not go out since you had plans with her. You two kept talking most of the morning, planing where to go and what to do. Finally you two decided to go to some quite fancy restaurant to have dinner.

And the day felt eternal, even though you had to work that day you could only overthink about the whole situation and the date you had later with Abby. And it was the same for her because as confident as she looks and acts in front of you she was almost dying yesterday when she first asked you to go out and you wouldn’t answer, she was also overthinking, a lot, an repeating the scene in her head over and over.

Abby had offered to pick you up and drive you home as well because “it’s dangerous for you to be alone” so when night came and your phone vibrated you got shivers all over your body.

The date was way better than you expected, you feared it might be awkward but it was the total opposite. Maybe it helped the past weeks of pure tension between both or the fact that most of the time you were flirting with each other, but whatever it was it doesn’t really matter as long as you get any chance with her.

Once she drive you home she ask you to stay just a bit more, so now you’re both outside your apartment’s building, just sitting in the car, staring at each other in silence.

“Can I kiss you?” you see her eyes wandering over you as her hands cup your face, and suddenly you’re pressing your lips over hers for some seconds that feel eternal, until she pulls away.

“you’re so fucking pretty you know that?” her hands are still on your face yet she moves them rapidly and turns her face to her window, to which you laugh “what’re you doing?”the light from the outside reflects on her as she turns her face back to you “doing what?” her eyes move to your lips once again “look away” you reply.

“Because” a nasal chuckle comes out of her and her smile wides a bit. her arm moves again to your face and as her fingers touch your lips you open your mouth slightly “I gotta go abs” as you speak her thumb goes slightly into your inner lips “why?” you notice how she furrows her eyebrows slightly and her eyes finally meet yours.

“It’s too late already and I have to work tomorrow, all day” a small chuckle comes out of your mouth “Come here then” she moves her arms to the back of your neck and pulls you again for another kiss.

“Thanks for today, I swear I’ll make it up to you” you grab your bag and open the door, looking at her one last time “you better do”.

[jokeroutsubs]

[ENG SUB] Joker Out at Radio Antena (18.07.2024)

Jan, Kris, Nace and Jure were interviewed by a radio host Jaka Peterka for Radio Antena. They talked about who needs to retake their driver's license exam, Kiki, the PR genius and what it takes to cross the pond.

Transcription by a member of JokerOutSubs, translation by drumbeat and @chaosofsmarty, proofread by ‪@flowerlotus8‬, subtitles by a member of JokerOutSubs

Full Transcript below 👇

And in the studio, the boys who, in the last year, visited more countries through concerts, than I've ever been to on Google Maps. They hold the title for the most streamed song in Slovenia ever, Carpe Diem. They've sold out Stožice, this year we can see them all across Europe on their summer tour. Jan, Kris, Jure and Nace from Joker Out, Good morning!

All: Good morning!

Wait, is Bojan sick, or what's happened?

Kris: Bojan is missing, he wasn't feeling well. And we've got a concert this weekend and… So he had to…

He has to rest a bit.

Kris: Yes.

Have you brought anything?

Jure: A good mood.

Kris: A new song.

A new song, that's true, because we'll hear it later. And this time in Croatian.

A ja samo čekam i žudim

But I'm just waiting for and craving

Za trenutkom kad ćeš zvati

The moment when you'll call

Da ti kažem da za tobom plače.

To tell you that, because of you, my heart cries,

Kris: What?

tuguje i pati

grieves and suffers

We'll hear it later, we'll also find out where you'll be in the upcoming days, or on your summer European tour. And we'll also find out why and which of these boys, here in the studio, should attend a safe driving training.

We'll check. Hey I'll just start with the question, which one of you recently "enhanced their car a bit", in quotation marks, somewhere near here?

Nace: That was me.

That was you, Nace?

Nace: That was me, yes.

Really? What happened?

Nace: Someone bumped into me in a parking lot.

Really in a parking lot? Ah, okay.

Jure: No, it's understandable then.

Nace: I don't need to do a safe driving training here.

No, no, then you really don't.

Kris: Safe parking training.

Nace: Take that back.

Take it back? Alright, so be it. Hey, it's a minute past nine, Jaka Peterka with you on Antena. And the boys, who this year have concerts all over Europe, at all the biggest festivals. Joker Out, without Bojči here, because he got sick. We'll also hear your new single later, 'Šta bih ja', the boys have told me, isn't in Croatian, but in Serbian, right?

Nace: Correct.

Kris: Yes.

But first of all, a small thing, like we're used to at Antena, "Who's most likely to". Pay attention. Who's most likely to have to redo their driving licence courses?

Jure: Jan.

Jan?

Jan: I mean, Nace here has a scratch on his car, so I don't know.

Nace: I mean, yours has also undergone repairs.

Jure: Yours also isn't much better.

Who's most likely to be the most successful at their job, if Joker Out didn't exist?

Kris: Jure would be quite successful at his job as a cameraman. Of course.

What, as a cameraman?

Jure: Yeah, I was a cinematographer.

Really?

Jure: For RTV.

Ah, alright, so the rest of you…

Kris: I mean, I'd be successful, but I don't think I'd be happy.

Jan: The rest of us haven't even had jobs yet.

Okay, moving on. Who's most likely to get married first?

Jure: Bojan.

Bojan?

Jan: Bojan.

Okay. Who's most likely to arrive late to a concert or on stage?

All: Jan.

Jan? Jan!

Jan: Again, Kris was late today, almost.

They were quite on time, I've got to give them praise for that. Who's most likely to go to bed immediately after a concert?

Jure: Kris.

Jan: Kris and Nace.

Kris: Bojči.

Nace, your age is showing, right?

Nace: It would be Kris and I, we go to bed at a similar time.

Jan: Kris and Nace.

Jure: And watch a movie together, eh?

4 minutes past 9, joining me… Jan, stop turning the computer on, you won't be playing games.

Jan: We did the last time.

There's still a Slovenian band on the Antena radio, which, on the one hand, has long ceased to be just that, given that we can see them next to the biggest artists all over Europe. For example, at the recent Exit Festival they performed right before the Black Eyed Peas. Joker Out, good morning again. Now, despite the fact that you have a massive fanbase all over Europe, you still stick pretty much to the Slovene language and some Croatian or Serbian as well. How come?

Kris: Yes, we feel like working in the language that comes naturally. I mean, it just depends on how things turn out, it mostly depends on Bojči, and the language he can feel the lyrics in. At that moment, we felt like making a Serbian song on the upcoming album there will be a couple of those as well as Slovenian.

That's awesome.

Kris: So it comes naturally. In English, we've already done a few, and we will do some more.

Well, because five days ago you released a brand new single, 'Šta bih ja'.

A ja samo čekam i žudim

But I'm just waiting for and craving

Za trenutkom kad ćeš zvati

The moment when you'll call

Da ti kažem da za tobom plače.

To tell you that, because of you, my heart cries,

Yes, well, I have to say that I find it interesting that they have… Even before it was released, there were people singing it at your concerts. I mean, all over Europe, right. How come? What, you already had it on your setlist? Nace?

tuguje i pati

grieves and suffers

Nace: Probably because for the whole tour what, in March we've been playing it and that's how they would have picked it up.

Jure: And we have one great story about when…

Nace: Yeah, basically, on the first concert of this tour, right, Bojan didn't know the exact lyrics exactly yet and he gave our roadie, Kiki, the lyrics on A4 format paper, it was just…

Kris: The chorus.

Nace: The chorus, yes. And he's like, "Did you manage to hang it?" "I did, I did." And then, just like that, when Bojan comes on stage, we start the song, and the lyrics, he can't find them. "Kiki, where are the lyrics?" "What? On the monitor!" But he hung it for people to read. Not for him. And basically, the fans all thought that this was some kind of a PR stunt. That we'd done it on purpose.

That was good fun.

Nace: It turned out great. Yeah, awesome.

And then what, people have been posting it on YouTube probably.

Nace: They took pictures.

Kris: Yes, yes, yes.

Damn, that's nice. Now we can see you all over Europe until the middle of August, this Saturday in Germany, actually, at the Deichbrand festival, if I've got that right. But do you know what I was wondering about? At the moment, in fact, you're crushing it in Europe. Are you tempted to hop across the pond?

Kris: Yes.

Any plans, actually, well?

Kris: Yeah, there are no really definite plans, because it is very difficult to travel across the pond. Mostly because for one single concert you need to get a full visa for a whole year, so…

Is that so?

Kris: Yes, and it's very hard to justify the expenses. We have to give it some thought, on how to approach this, so it makes sense. But yes, we do, and we know we have some fans in New York and Toronto, so we could also play something there.

Cool. What about, let's say, our parts? Slovenia maybe? I mean, you've already been, I know, this year to Ptuj, right? But, are there more plans for this year or maybe…?

Jan: There are also plans to see you again on local stages, yes.

This year?

Jan: This year.

Jure: This year, after the release of the album.

After the release, nice. And the album's coming out…?

Jure: September, October, if all goes well.

Okay, fingers crossed. Anyway, you can hear Joker Out and 'Šta bih ja', on Antena right now. Guys, thank you for coming.

All: Thank you.

I believe we might see each other very quickly even in the prime time on Rock am Ring. Or somewhere similar. Fingers crossed, well, mostly so that… Thank you for coming, say hello to Bojči. And this is Joker Out with 'Šta bih ja'.

[melanieph321]

Ruben Dias x Black Reader - The Bodyguard Part 2/8

Yeah, this picture should be illegal.😮‍💨

Summary - Reader is a popstars in trouble and Ruben is her new bodyguard, here to protect and help her find out who wants to hurt her. But what happens when the relationship between Reader and Ruben simply gets too personal?

Enjoy!

Although in doubt at first, you eventually got used to having a bodyguard, someone following you around wherever you went. For the most part Ruben kept his distance, a silent flash in the corner of your eye. He didn't speak if not spoken to and he drove in a separate car than you and Taylor just to have a better eye on what was happening in the street. It all seemed like standard protocol for a bodyguard. However, you quickly found out what mite distinguish Ruben from others in his field.

One sunny afternoon, you found yourself longing for a fun-filled shopping spree with your close friends. Follwing a long week of rehearsal and studio sessions, not to mention the many interviews. You yearned for a taste of normalcy, away from the glaring spotlight and hordes of people wanting things from you. Determined to make your dream a reality, you shared your plans with your management team, a.k.a. your sister, oblivious to the storm it would soon unleash.

"What do you mean you need a break?"

"It's just one day off."

"A day off? Y/N do you know how much preparations we still have ahead of the drop of your new album, ahead of the tickets release of your world tour?"

"I do and that's why I need one day to reset. I just want to go downtown with Elvis and Keke. They say there's a huge sale on Birkin bags."

"God, why did you give me this job of taking care of someone who never listens?"

"Because he knows I need you." You smiled.

She sighed. "You've got two hours."

"Four."

"Three and you're taking Ruben with you."

"No way!"

"Yes way, especially if you're going out with those crazy friends of yours."

Ruben hadn't expected you to leave the apartment today and he definitely didn't expected you to barge into his room without knocking first.

"Oh, sorry." You said, lowering your gaze at the sight of a shirtless Ruben.

"Do you mind?"

"I'm sorry I..."

Ruben was just another shirtless man, nothing to be flushed about. However you had never seen that much outline of muscle on a human being before.

"I'm just letting you know that I'm going out." You said, speaking to him but looking at your feet.

"Alright, just give me a minute and I'll be right there."

"Right."

You slowly raised your head, a slight ache in your chest.

Ruben turned to look at you, furrowed brows. "Was that all?"

"Whatta hell is that?"

Ruben was wearing a type of undergarment. A piece of fabric that surley resembled a..."

"It's a bullet proof west."

"What for?" You frowned.

"Taking bullets."

He grabbed his t-shirt from the bed, buttoning it over his vest. It was barley visible underneath.

"I know your not wearing that for my sake." You scolded. "Don't expect anybody to shoot me up, especially not Mr Dickonataor 3000."

Somthing flickered across Ruben's face, another tinted expression, this time with a hint of a smile. He sealed the last button's to his shirt and stepped up to where you stood. "Always expected the unexpected Y/N."

His warm sent is what overwhelmed you,  but also the the sound of his voice when he whispered your name.

"I'll tell Taylor to bring the car around."

You nodded. "Okay."

It was obvious that when Ruben caught wind of your desire for a carefree shopping day with friends, alarm bells rang in his head. Ensuring your safety was his utmost priority, and the thought of you venturing into public without his watchful eye deeply unsettled him.

"Oh my god, did you hear about Tanya?" Elvis gasped. "She obviously OD'd last month but the press has us thinking she caught an illness."

Keke snorted. "I bet her management is paying TMZ to keep quiet."

"What do you think Y/N?"

Shopping with Elvis and Keke was fun, with them life seemed so easy and scandalous. They didn't make you feel like a hard working international popstars, but one of the girls, which you never got to feel like being homeschooled as young.

"I hope she's okay." You said. Tanya was a singer just like you. A bit older but with so much experience of being in the industry. She helped launch your career by introducing you to some very influential producers and to that you were forever greatful.

"Speaking of okay," Elvis said, looking back at the shadow that was Ruben, walking slowly behind the three of you. "How is this your life now?"

"Please don't remind me." You sighed. "My sister is just paranoid about the death threat I got last month,  you know the one where the man sent me a bloody knife with the DNA of a racoon."

"Yes, hahaha. That was hilarious!" Keke laughed. "How did he even get your address?"

"Welp, my sister didn't think it was funny and now I have my own personal bodyguard."

"He is fine as hell, no? Do you think he'll guard my body?"

"Stop it." You hit Elvis in the arm.

It wasn't annoying having Ruben around, it made you feel safe. However, having him around 24/7....

His unusual presence didn't go unnoticed. There were fans who gathered around, snapping pictures and screaming in excitement. Yet, instead of basking in the attention, you found yourself growing increasingly frustrated with each passing moment. With Ruben, determined to maintain his hyper-vigilance by directing your every move, skillfully weaving through the crowd and dismissing any potential danger like a hawk. His overprotectiveness grew more pronounced, calling unwanted attention to you and your friends, creating a spectacle wherever you went. Thus it didn't feel like you were getting a day off, but another day in your crazy life as a popstars.

"Man, let's just go to my place." Elvis sighed. "I have like four bottles of wine from the event my company had yesterday."

"Y/N, you coming?"

Watching your friends drift further away, you couldn't help but be overcome by a sense of longing for the same freedom they had. You longed to immerse yourself in the energy of the city, shop till you dropped, and savor the precious moments of normalcy of going home and enjoying a bottle of wine. However, Ruben's constant presence loomed over you like a shadow, smothering your zest for life.

Feeling suffocated, you approached him, voice laced with frustration and desperation. "Ruben, I appreciate your concern for my safety, but I need some space. I need to feel like a regular person sometimes, without the constant intrusion. Can't you trust my judgment? Trust that I can take care of myself, just this once?"

Ruben's expression softened as he realized the weight of his actions, that they might have taken a tool on you, especially when you we're still getting used to having him around.

"We're are you headed?" He asked, expression motionless.

"Just to my friends house, we're having dinner. I'll have Taylor pick me up after."

He nodded. "Okay."

"Okay, really?"

"Yes it's fine, just..."

Ruben stumbled backwards as you ambushed him with a hug. "I'll see you later." You smiled, leaving him visibly stunned by your actions.

If you knew Elvis you knew that a quiet night with the girls always turned into a full blown party. By the time the three of you had down the four bottles of wine, Elvis had called half the people on his contact list. E - list celebrities that were desperate to be seen in a picture with you.

"I loved your last album, so many great songs were on it."

"Thank you, which one was your favorite?"

"Oh, you know..."

"I do...?"

"Yeah, you know....perhaps that one featuring that rapper?"

"You mean my song Dirty Laundry ft. Lover Boi?"

"Yeah, that's the one!"

"Gee thanks." You said and rose to go to the bathroom.

Whoever said that their favorite song of yours was Dirty Laundry didn't really care about your music, only the hits that were featured in luxury commercials or backgrounds songs for Tik Tok trends. The songs that you actually put your heart and mind into never seemed to get the recognition they deserved.

"Y/N, you good?" Elvis asked, as you past him on your way to the bathroom.

You had a lot to drink, becoming more and more forgetful of yourself. There was flashing lights in your face, people taking pictures. Your sister wouldn't like that. She always told you that a good image is important to withstand and being publicly intoxicated was not withstanding that image.

"Let me help you with that baby."

You couldn't find the bathroom. And the fact that you were so drunk frightened you a little. You oriented your way out of Elvis apartment, taking the elevator down and stumbling onto the street. You were fumbling with your purse looking for your phone when a strange man popped up, asking if you needed his help.

"I'm okay, thank you."

"Hold up, aren't you Y/N?"

"Um...no."

"Yes you are. You're that girl in that video with Lover Boi."

"Please don't..."

"Eyo, Tito, look who it is!"

"Call your friends..." You sighed.

Soon a crowd of pedestrians had gathered around you taking pictures of you like a monument in the middle of the street.

"I'm sorry, I need to..." You fumbled with your purse, unable to locate your phone to call Taylor.

"Shit, it's TMZ!"

Soon the tiny little flashing phones turned into full blown flashing cameras and photographers, or paparazzi as you've learned to call them, shouting things at you.

"Y/N show me those legs!"

*snap*

"Having fun on your night out?"

*snap*

"How many drinks have you had to night sweetie,  you look a mess."

*snap.*

"You guys please."

You hoplessly tried to diverged the snapping  cameras from your face, hiding it behind your arm. But it was hopless, you couldn't get away. The paparazzi were circling you like a shark, snapping pictures, never having enough.

"Please I... don't feel so well."

You lost your balance, falling onto your knees. This resulted in the cameras snapping more violently and no one coming to your rescue, that is, until Ruben.

"Out of the way!"

He barge through the crowd out of nowhere, not caring about who he pushed aside. He got to you and brought you up on your feet. You were walking in the air, the way that he carried you through the crowd, with one hand around your waist, pinning you to his side.

"You're okay, I got you."

You got shuffled into a car, his car, tires  swirling on the side walk as he drove away.

Although you  were drowsy, you noticed how he kept turning his head to the backseat, checking on you.

"Where almost home, I'll get you home." He said, sounding genuinely concerned.

It was all a blurr from then, how you got to your apartment, how you even got into bed that night? All you recall was Ruben's strong arms around your waist, and him, repeating the words "I got you."

[cherryblossomforest]

19th & 20th September 2024

19th:

Today I had to take Giggles to the vet for more vaccinations and more flea and worm treatment as I didn't have any more. I'm ensuring her health checks are all up to date because I think I've fallen off the ball with that.

She was a bit nervous at the vet but wasn't meowing or scared. She wanted to hide and her crate was on the floor so I made a cup with my hands and she hid her face in it which was enough for her to feel safe. It was absolutely adorable. I gave her many head rubs and scratches behind her ears which she loved and she purred which was reassuring.

The car ride always makes her a bit nervous but she's soooo much better than she was before. I play some LoFi instrumentals when she's super anxious but on the way back she barely cried at all and took a nap. It makes me happy that she's starting to feel safe in the car because then I can take her on more adventures and she won't be so nervous :)

One thing I do need to get on top of is her dental hygiene. It's tough because she hates it but it needs tending to so I need to invest in some things! I don't want her to end up having any problems in the future.

When I got back home I rested some more and got to preparing for my job interview. I wasn't anxious but I was nervous. I got some examples I wanted to use also and by the time my interview took place I was feeling more confident. I answered all the questions quite quickly but also in enough detail and I taught one of the interviewers something about mental health which felt super nice. She said what I explained was quite nice to learn so I hope I made a good impression and I did feel like it was a good interview too. I was kinda buzzing after.

I was reminded that for someone who's in crisis, I'm doing quite a pretty good job right now! It felt nice to have Elodie around for the interview and it felt nice to remember things from work which I hadn't thought about in years. I really hope I get this job because it would be perfect for me to work from home and earn enough to support myself, travel and pay off my debts. Then I can eventually start paying for private therapy too and get a knowledgeable therapist. I need that and I really do think I deserve this too! Another thing is that I can hire a cleaning service to help me deep clean my home because I can't do it with my pain and mobility problems so that'll also make me feel so much better and I know I can pay my friend to help me too.

I decided to watch Forrest Gump which sent my brain into a bit of an overdrive I think. I ended up being so tired that I couldn't keep my eyes open. Just so exhausted! It definitely was triggering watching it again as an adult but very very relatable too in so many ways. Forrest definitely is autistic and Bubba too.

I ended up sleeping at completely the wrong time so I'm up at a weird time. I have my doctor's appointment tomorrow and I see my doctor and I just really need her to help me. I need my meds increased and I need a care coordinator or social worker. I need better support or I'm going to end up back in the hospital and I just really don't want to end up back there but I get no support and I really need it.

20th:

I thought I was having an episode... I thought the ceiling was going to collapse because of a noise I was hearing which I couldn't identify. Messed-up sleeping patterns mess up my mental health dramatically. The noise was coming from my upstairs neighbours but the anxiety that it was the ceiling about to cave in was farfetched...

I need to sleep

My sleep was really bad and idk why it has to be like this. I had a nightmare that I just couldn't get away from someone and they even found me on this blog and they showed me not nice pictures that they took of me that I couldn't remember (I basically had amnesia for the events and another part was present...but more in a way that they wanted to hide it from me too and was happy - since when did I have DID in my dreams??) That was overwhelming and it felt so real that I woke up feeling like it was real. That's always my biggest fear.

I'm so tired and stiff that I've ended up late for my freaking doctors appointment and I want to cry because I had one job but I'm so exhausted. I feel sedated. If this doesn't work out I want to give up now... I'm ngl.

It was so lovely to see my Doctor she's so lovely! As soon as I sat down she was like "Is it getting bad again [name]?" and from that moment I was holding back tears and that surprised me. She asked me if I was getting support from family and I explained that we had a bereavement in January and she remembered it was Dead Brother then she asked me if I was getting support which I wasn't. She asked me what's been happening and I explained that every September I get so much worse and I feel so bad. She asked if it's an anniversary for anything and asked me to specify and I actually managed to say it's a trauma anniversary from being raped which was so confronting but such improvement on my part. She then asked me who and I explained Dead Brother.

I think this is significant because I tend to think I talk about what's going on with me a lot and I reallllyy don't. This blog is the only place I actually talk about my feelings and not even my doctor knows much about me. That's bad. This was something my old ED T also said to me and I thought I opened up to her a lot. I really don't talk to people and I'm always holding everything in. Even my friends say this too so it must be true.

Anyway, my doctor has increased my Mirtazapine to the highest at 45mg and wants to see me in 2 weeks. She's also referred me to the crisis team (🙄) and a mental health practitioner to talk to as well. I see them on Monday. She said she's going to refer me to see a social subscriber which will help me get out of the house and maybe do things and for the first time I'm going to give it a go. She even said if I really don't like it I don't have to go so that's reassuring.

Right now it's been 30 minutes that I've been in this car park at the gp so I'm going to find somewhere to go...

Sometimes I wonder why it feels like the world just wants me to die, I try so hard all the time to get help and keep myself safe and it's just like no one cares enough to help. As much as I'm grateful for this help from my doctor and I truly am... if me reaching out for desperate help for another year doesn't work I'm so done trying. I'm so tired.

Oh my God I am so tired of being so alone.

All I want to do is listen to music but I know the music that I want to listen to will make me feel worse.

I'm not sure if it was my first time admitting what Dead Brother did, but it was definitely the first time telling a professional or anyone in person and my brain is going crazy.

Yep. First time saying the words out loud. Wow. That wasn't a good idea in the middle of September... body memories and flashbacks have started but I've taken 2mg Lorazepam to help calm everything down normally 1mg is does a good job but rn I'm struggling. I'm also being distracted by my loved ones which feels nice and I'll most likely cry some more.

Why is this September different? I'm remembering more memories even before the doctors appointment. It's so bad... so so bad...

[fuck-customers]

It's almost sad that when I tell my regulars I only make $14.50 an hour at a job where I do professional level graphic design and print work, they all get shocked and say I should be making more (I work at a locally owned print shop, and I love the job for the most part, I just hate how I'm rushed and hate certain clients).

WcDonads employees make more than I do. Gas station employees around here make more than I do. And I honestly feel quite jipped because I was told to go to college. Get a degree. Find a job in the field I go to school for and I'll be set (I'm one of those "zillenials," too young to be a millenial but too old to be gen z). Some people say i should be thankful, $14.50 is a lot, but cost of living where I'm at is at least $20/hr. Granted, my college is completely paid for so I don't have student loans to worry about and I'm happy I have graphic design and photography experience. But when I'm at work and I feel the bald patch from where my hair has been falling out from stress from workload, it makes me feel like I was tricked.

I'm so conflicted. Like I said. I like this job. When things aren't busy it's wonderful. But those are becoming fewer and farther between where stuff has completely reopened from Covid and more people want printing for events and sales.

And I've met wonderful people! And learned about small businesses in my community I would have never known about otherwise! I love getting to make nice designs and print beautiful art every day. One of my current friends I've met copying her artwork for her! My gifts to my family have been photo prints and even signs for my dad's workshop that I've gotten printed at a discount and they're all loved so much. And I don't have to wear a uniform - jeans and a t-shirt of my choice every day!

But I've also been yelled at over small shit like maps not being printed on time, or how the color on a flyer isn't as "vibrant as it is on screen," or told to hurry up on a yard sign that someone decided they needed today rather than next week, or have a someone chew me out because I haven't even had time to print three sheets of mailing labels because I've had to hold the hand of a very picky woman who wants her rental guest book to look "just right" yet can't be assed to learn how to use a computer on her own. I've had packages thrown at me when I've said people need to pay to ship them. People getting mad over $.20 black and white copies and $.49 color copies. People saying they're going to get their business cards from PistaVrint because it's cheaper. People come to us and act like we're tech support - "Why is my computer not opening Wicrosoft Mord?! Why is my email not sending?! Why is my phone doing this?!" Like I don't know! Take it to Bye Best!

My manager hardly gets paid any more than I do and she's been with the business for almost 30 years and drives an hour each day to come to work. I only got bumped to $14.50 after my boss overheard I was interviewing at a college print shop that would have paid me $18 an hour. He couldn't even wage match! And I didn't even get the job.

I don't have funds to move to another location where I could find a better paying job in my field, nor would I want to as my family and community are here.

There is a pillow factory here I never knew about. They're hiring various positions starting at $19 an hour. Evenings and weekends mostly off, only needed to work if they need to fill a very large order. My friend started there this week and while she says she's physically tired, the environment seems nice so far and I'm so burnt out here that I've already asked her if she can get a word in for me to start there. More pay? And way less customer interaction? I could do that! But it sucks that I feel like abandoning what I like to do because of my pay grade and the stress I feel. I wish it was all different.

Posted by admin Rodney.

[wheresarizona]

hiii!! happy Thursday to you, i miss your writing babe! ive been following LTL ever since you started and like you, im sure, am obsessed with cielito and javi and NEED the part two- or is it part three? to their wedding. in no way am i trying to rush you, i totallh understand the writing process and your life outside of writing, you are a busy gal and i love it. but, as a small ask, i was wondering if you had a date that it might come out? if not, no pressure, but im sure so many people would love to know when youre posting again because we love you so much and your writing. ❤️❤️

Hey! 🥰🥰🥰

It’s def part 3 of 3, and it better stay part 3 of 3, because I wanna get to the wedding night boning already! There’s a bubble bath and champagne!! 😭😭😭

I’m putting the rest under the cut:

Anyways, so, my bad for not having the chapter ready in July, but in my defense, I could not have anticipated how much the Gladiator II trailer would put me in a chokehold for Marcus Acacius—which, that series I’m low key thinking about turning into an original story because I had an idea and lost my damn mind about it. I’ve been working on the second one shot in that ‘verse because I have zero self-control.

Since your ask is really sweet, I’ll get back to work on LTL, and honestly, I just jumped back in, and am having a great time with super-horny-for-his-wife Javi.

Also, I am hella fucking busy in my IRL. I got a final offer for that job I wanted today, and about cried when I saw they actually took my experience into account, and want to pay me what I’m worth. 😭😭😭 That’s never happened before. The thing, though, is there’s this other job I’d prefer that I have an interview for next Friday that pays EVEN BETTER and would be wayyy more exciting, so I’m hoping that goes well. They’re both jobs with the same government, so I now have an idea of what I’m looking at for salary.

I know you asked for a timeframe, and I gotta be real with you, I have no idea, BUT I’ll put all my focus on LTL, and Marcus on the back burner.

Again, I’m sorry for how long it’s taking. This chapter was fighting me which is why I’ve been avoiding it. Lmfaoooo

Thank you for the lovely ask. 🥰🥰🥰

[twilightown]

this is basically a diary post,,,,,,

I started working public education in 2017. I was an Elementary teacher's assistant up until 2019. Then I became a lead teacher, started my own classroom.

The school I was in had some deep, foundational issues. But it began my beginning teacher program and I was stuck for 3 years. The school has had a complete staff turnover from the time I began to now. There is ONE person in the entire building who has stayed those three years. I'll be honest, 96% of it was due to student's behavior. We had some intense behavior issues. I've been slapped. I've been kicked. I've been cussed at. I was screamed at on a daily basis - all by students.

Anyway, now that my beginning teacher program has ended, I've left the school. I was miserable, felt unsupported and alone, seriously negative on myself because I could never be what these kids needed to be.

I've been a manager at our corporate local theater, not making enough. Damn though, did I need the break. I feel so much better. I'm laughing like I haven't in years. I feel lighter. I feel hopeful. My relationship is the best it's been, and it has always been great. The work is boring, but meh, it's fine. The pay isn't enough to sustain us, though. I was -$30 the day before payday and that's normal here.

Anyyway, I've been taking the break to also apply for other careers, jobs I'm excited about and interested in. I've had so many interviews. Either they pay less or after calling my previous principal, ghost me. (I know she's saying I can't control a classroom. But I had five behavior intervention plan kids. Not even my therapist assistant or three counselors could help.)

Today I CAUGHT A BREAK. I got an offer at a charter school. Older kids. ELA only. 44k instead of the 32k I was getting before. New school, figuring its shit out. A bunch of LGBTQ+ kids apparently!

I could pay off my credit card debt!! I could save up to move!! I could BUY FURNITURE!!!!!!!

I feel like all the rejections I've got this summer is for this, this reason here. That this was waiting for me. I am legit so excited.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I essentially tattled on my manager?

I (25FTM) recently got a new manager (late 50sF) at work. I've been working this particular retail job for almost 2yrs, and I've never had an issue with misgendering, including from my coworker (61M), and every prev manager. I understand that I don't pass very well, however my one request is that people *try*, and correct themselves when I point it out.

Tbh, this manager isn't particularly good at her job. She was brought in without any experience. She had 3 days before the prev manager left to train (she was supposed to have 4, but decided to take her one weekend off exactly then). She's been incredibly lazy - leaving merchandise any random place, including the floor; sitting down the moment she walks in the door even when there's customers or other work to do; she never cleans up even when she's alone on shift. She also takes offense to absolutely everything, including when I told her *I could help her by doing inter branch transfers*. In addition, I'm moving in a couple of weeks. I'm taking a total of 4 days off, including my once a month free weekend which I'm entitled to (last time I moved under a previous manager I got a full week off fyi). She told me I might not be able to take the time off because the person she contacted to replace me can only work morning shifts. This is a franchise with plenty of employees. It's simple: I'm taking less time than I need, and she still complained bc she's unwilling to put in the extra effort.

Today I came in for my evening shift to find that not only had she not finished unpacking new merchandise, something I would never leave for the evening shift. She said she didn't know where to put things cause there was no room (one basic thing that only a manager can do is make executive decisions on what to display and what not to...). I redo the entire display to fit in the new merchandise, thanklessly. She then spent a conversation misgendering me, 4 times in 1 minute. When I corrected her for the 4th time she yelled at me bc apparently all I do is criticize her. All I'd done is correct her, and during this fight she continues to misgender me. I told her that if this behavior continues I'll have no choice but to go to the regional manager. I did lose my temper and yelled back at her, but I think that was a natural reaction. I did also get angry at her once before for approving an online order before we had the items, but I immediately apologized and explained why that was a problem.

That said, I have an interview at a completely different job in two days. It's better paying, will probably be more accomodating of my disability, and I have experience. There's a very high chance I'll get the job imho. If I get the job, I probably won't complain, simply give in my notice.

But if I don't get the job, I'll probably ask to get transferred to another branch of the franchise. And if I do... WIBTA if I contact the regional manager and explain in detail why, instead of lying or giving an excuse?

What are these acronyms?

[ifhymona]

٭* Not Too Late *٭

Chapter 6 | chino moreno x reader

chapter 5 ~ chapter 7 | AO3

1.2k words

life has been super busy lately. the band is working on their sophomore album. they wanted to tease the album by playing a few songs at the gig coming up. i’m not sure on what name they’ve decided on but so far, i just know it’s gonna be a hit!

i wish i could listen to them practice but i’ve been working on making sure we have enough cds and vinyls to sell, making eps to tease some of their new album and making t-shirts. i didn’t mind the work load though. it was better than being in my room all day.

stephen ended up getting a cold, of course when we have a busy schedule. so chino just told everybody to practice on their own to try and perfect their sound isolated.

i kept on with my very busy day though. i did drop off stephen some soup, just to check in on how he was doing. i didn’t have to but stephen’s my friend and i like doing nice things for people.

after i dropped off his soup, abe paged me.

‘call me.’ i wonder what this is about. i walked to my nearest pay phone just two blocks away and dialed abe’s number.

he picked up. “y/n! what are you doing today?”

“oh just busy with making merchandise for the show. why what’s up?”

“well since you’re busy, i was thinking maybe you’d want some help?”

“i mean are you sure? you don’t have to.”

“i’m sure. plus how am i gonna be in the band and not see all the behind the scenes.” he laughed.

“well meet me at this place” i give him the address.

“i’ll see you there.” he smiled.

~

“so what are we going to do today?” the room we were in was fairly small but luckily it was just me and abe. there were four screen printing machines and a table off to the side with a few chairs. there was also a fridge and a microwave on a light stand. the fluorescent lights really brought this room all together.

“well we’re going to use these screen printers to make the t-shirts. i have to make a few calls with the record label about buying cds and stuff in bulk to sell.”

“how much are you trying to buy?” i bring out a box of medium white t-shirts onto the table.

“well i hoping for around 250 cds 250 records and 250 cassettes.”

“and how much will that cost?” he gulped.

i chuckled. “you don’t need to know.”

i think he was processing how much money that would cost us. “well, chop chop. we got a lot of t-shirts to make.” i clapped my hands together and got started with work.

~

after a few calls discussing money with the the record label, i was able to start helping abe with some t-shirts.

“so, how long have you and chino known each other?” abe asked.

“chino and my brother were friends in middle school. they were a year ahead of me but i still hung around them whenever chino would come over. in high school me and chino started hanging out together without my brother and we had some good times. then we just fell out my sophomore year.” i sighed.

“yeah i remember when that happened. chino would talk about you all the time!” he rolled his eyes. “oh, y/n never called! how could she? why won’t she just talk to me?” he mocked chino pouting his face.

i laughed. did chino really talk about me? it was hard for me to believe abe. i can’t imagine myself as a conversation topic. let alone someone chino would bring up often.

“chino would talk about you from time to time but he never introduced us to you. we’d see you around at school because we’d catch chino looking at you.” he laughed out loud. “i didn’t realize you were the same girl when you came in to be interviewed.”

“yeah and i didn’t realize chino was gonna be my co-worker for a job i applied for.” i sighed. “i’m sure he moved on after a few months.”

abe scoffed. “yeah right! anytime we’d kickback and smoke and drink together, somehow at the end of the night, your name was always brought up. even after graduation, he talked about you every so often. sometimes during practice, his voice even suffered. we would have to end days short so he could clear his thoughts and get back on track. even now he talks about things you two did before you stopped talking.”

“no way. you don’t have to lie to me.” i looked away. why would he talk about me? he had no reason to.

“i’m being serious! he has like a secret obsession with you or something.” he smirked. i blushed thinking about chino. what is going on with me always thinking about chino?

“anyways i’m glad you two made up. chino’s always sounded really good but i think since you’ve been around he’s been really pushing to be perfect.”

“if that is the case, i’m glad he is. you guys are honestly my favorite band at the moment.” i said, putting my hand over my heart.

“thanks y/n. i really appreciate that.” he smiled.

“enough about me. what’s it like being the coolest drummer ever?” i smirked.

“i love it! i never thought i would be a drummer for a popular band. it’s so riveting to be up on stage playing the drums. seeing all the fans show up to see us is what gets me pumped!” he shook his fist.

“i bet! i’m excited to see you guys play live!” i enthused.

he let out an audible gasp. “i totally forgot you haven’t seen us play live! you’re gonna love it.” he looked around, despite it being just us. he covered his mouth like he was telling a secret. “don’t say anything but we just decided on a name for the album. we’re naming it around the fur!” he grinned.

“around the fur.” i repeated then smiled. “i love it! it has a nice ring to it.”

“i know right! we’re even going to go on tour after the release of our album.”

“shut up! that’s so cool! it’s gonna be so much fun abe!” i started thinking about going on tour with them. how much fun it would be to go on a tour bus all across the country. meeting all their fans and seeing them perform countless times. i’d get to create memories with them that i’d never forget.

we continued to enthuse about the tour and the album while making t-shirts.

~

we spent five and a half hours making loads of t-shirts and talking the whole time. i’m really glad i got to spend this time with abe. he told me stories from his childhood and the early days of the band. i told him more about me and my past. we both enthused about topics we were both interested in like music and clothing brands and magazines. he even told me what it was like going on tour with other artists like korn and ozzy osbourne.

“thanks for helping me today abe. next time you want to help, let me know! i can always use it.” i smiled.

“no problem y/n! it was cool hanging out with you. it’s refreshing to hang out with someone new.” he smiled.

a/n: i hope you guys enjoyed this chapter ! i just wanna clarify, in case anyone is confused, abe and y/n are purely platonic. so don’t go thinking a love triangle is forming bc there’s not. they’re just gonna be an iconic duo 😘 anyways new chapter will be up next week ! lots of love <3

[garbage--account]

Random dream I had after wondering if IE characters had money jobs in their youth to pay their bills be like #3 :

>Shawn is hired as a reporter for National Geographic, 'cause sakka doesn't pay

>goes to the jungle to record animals while a narrator in his head is telling everything about them (and telling him where to go next)

>while recording the mating ritual of anacondas (the males tangle themselves on each other to fight for the right to do the female), Shawn and the camera get struck in the breeding ball, with snakes all over them : one is binding the hands together, another is around the neck, ready to strangle the boy if needed, and another is trying to swallow him whole while the female looks at the camera

>teamskip.mp3

>Shawn is now filming the fishes in a pond, while bearly standing on 2 thin slippery rocks 10 meters away from the water, arms stretched above his head carrying to camera

>suddenly, tentacles grab both his legs and drag him to the depth of the pond, while salmons, piranhas, catfishes, dolphins, orcas, blue whales and krakens are jumping from the pond to dive after where Shawn has been dragged to.... idk, the camera didn't record this

>timeskip2.mp3

>now, we see Shawn exiting by foot the jungle to end up in Tokyo 'cause the narrator said so (it's easier job he said)

>starts filming the first specimen he encounters : Axel

>gets closer to film him better : so close that Axel is now pinned against a wall, the camera is in his chin and we can see his dilated pores (narrator says it is because of constant stress due to the surrounding)

>Axel gets away from him, Shawn runs after him until he bumps into Xavier who is also a reporter that interviews random people on the street about the latest hot topic of the country

>since he lost Axel's trace, Shawn decides to camp directly in his natural habitat and breaks into his empty flat by the window

>narrator comments on every room and item he sees to analyze Axel's lifestyle for anthropologic purposes

>Shawn goes to the bathroom and opens the shower curtain

>plotwist : Axel is in the bathtub with a camera in his hand, a knife in the other, and a voice coming from nowhere is narrating a True crime documentary

>both starts a fight to death : Axel with his knife and Shawn with whatever he can grab from the surrounding

>meanwhile : Axel's narrator depicts the True crime scene of his documentary, that matches perfectly with the fight ongoing; Shawn's depicts this as a display for dominance; Kanon as a Fox News reporter shows up as the trial for this murder is still ongoing in the future; Fei also shows up as an History reporter explaining why this tragedy is the reason they forbid children to play sakka before turning 25 (except derogation from El Dorado); a tiktoker from a near future appears explaining how this has influenced fashion and popculture; Xavier reappears to illustrate on why people have a feeling of insecurity nowaday; Hillman from the future records the scene for Ogre's training purposes; Ozrock uses these images to show the other aliens that Earth should be invaded and Simeon just watches the fight for his pleasure

>"this concludes today's reportage. Now is airing our new broadcast, presented Mark Evans : Sakka Yarouze"

[donnerpartyofone]

For a month I have been haunted by this thing in the Arnold Schwarzenegger newsletter that I got tricked into signing up for but surprisingly enjoy. It totally rings true, which is a big problem because competence eludes me absolutely all the time in all dimensions. Most of life feels like one of those nightmares where you're trudging through quicksand or trying to punch someone in slow motion. Like things are just not working and on the rare occasions when I get something right I usually don't know why, don't know how to replicate the success, despite all my research and preparation. And you need competence to achieve autonomy actually, otherwise you need a grownup to do everything for you and clean up after your mistakes. In my experience having healthy relationships is good but it does not solve the problems of not being able to trust yourself to do normal stuff; at worst it just means you have a bigger opportunity to become a burden to others. I'm really afraid about never finding anything where I have competence that is productive of autonomy. Today I tried to make part of a really simple meal, and I also tried to file a job application, and both things took an incredible amount of time and one of them didn't work, and this is long-term consistent across most attempts at these things. And I mean these are the building blocks of life. The things I'm sort of competent at don't pay except in outrageous circumstances. It makes a lot of sense to me how many people want to become professional artists or pulp writers or rock stars or whatever; I mean I know that just wanting attention is a big motivator there, but I think there is also a strong element of like "If I could pay the rent with my writing then I could stop worrying about why I haven't had more then three job interviews in the last 15 years. I wouldn't have to be scared about starving to death because I'm stupid and bad at normal stuff. I could stop struggling to explain my handicaps to people who don't believe me anyway, because I'd have something better to do."

[creations-by-chaosfay]

Note to self: do not stitch in every ditch when there are so many ditches to stitch.

It took nearly 11 hours to machine quilt June's Joy, and today shall be spent binding it. Then pics to see a before and after washing because the effect is always fascinating. I rarely prewash fabrics because we use a laundromat, and it will cost more money to get it done. When we have a working washing machine (ideally a Speed Queen because they make the laundromat machines), there will always be a prewash. This means less shrinkage, yes, but it also means the risks of fabric bleeding will be greatly diminished. Toss in some salt, a couple color catchers, and wash with like colors. Can't really do "with like colors" for a finished quilt.

After the binding, I'm likely to read my Dragon Age comics again, while typing out notes. I'm a HUGE DA fan, and intend will be preordering the game as soon as that comes available. I may not be able to play it when it arrives due ot the lack of a necessary console (XBox Series X), but I will have a copy of the game...and blacklist all things Dragon Age until I can play. Just in case I do get to play when it's released, I'll be giving my hands necessary rest so using my controller won't cause me problems or worsen current ones.

This means commissions will be for short quick things, and nothing larger than a table runner. It'll be coasters, mug rugs, placemats, and table runners when I open commissions in September. These will all be machine quilted. Commissions will close November 1st, and likely not reopen until next Spring. I'm seriously considering not offering commissions larger than 50x50 inches, simply because of time and the effect on my hands.

If, however, I'm diagnosed with EDS and fitted for and acquire splint rings for my fingers and thumbs, things will be very different. My joints will be stable and I'll be in less pain. I've got several friends and followers here who has suspected I have EDS because of how my hands move, and the other joint issues I have. My kneecaps like to slide out and dislocated, an issue I've had since early childhood, my thighs pop out with little effort and have been doing this for the last five or six years, and my legs collapse accordion style when I try sprinting. Then there's the orthopedic folks I saw for my wrist who told me my elbows, shoulders, wrist, and fingers aren't supposed to bend the way they do. I honestly didn't think it was odd that when I give a thumbs up, my thumb bends back to form a C at an almost 90 degrees backwards. It also appears my bruising like an overripe peach is also a symptom, so that's been interesting to learn. I'm being evaluated on July 5th. Honestly, I'm hoping for the EDS diagnosis. It'd explain sooooo much of why my joints are the way they are, and I can make accommodations for it. Like getting the quilting frame I want/need. Handquilting with the ring splints will also make a HUGE difference.

The ring splints may also result in the controller being easier to hold...after an adjustment period.

A couple physical therapists here told me to get the exercise equipment I have on my wishlist seeing as strengthening my muscles will help keep my joints stable. The muscles will work like natural splints kind of thing. The stuff I want/need, an air walker and squat assist, are relatively inexpensive, but right now we can barely afford groceries and our bills. My husband has a job interview for a dishwasher job today, so let's hope he gets it and it pays a decent amount. Minimum wage in Oregon is I think...$12/hour in our area. Not great, but better than nothing. He wants a relatively mindless job so he isn't so stressed and can focus on things that matter, like painting his miniatures. Stress does not mix well with diabetes nor hypertension after all.

I'm gonna finish my lunch and get back to sewing. When the June's Joy is done and in the laundry, I'm taking another five day break for my hands. It's gonna be boring, but I'll find things to do that won't be so taxing.

[plumbobtv]

Plumbob Inside - Hailey McClure

Interviewer: Hailey, thank you for having us at your home. It's gorgeous on the show but even better in real life. Hailey: Thank you so much, I do love this house... It's very much my taste and a great home to host and entertain.

Interviewer: Your first season of Simwives just aired, how are you feeling about the whole thing? Hailey: One word I use to describe it is, a rough ride. I must say, I didn't have the best time while filming, a lot of stuff from my past got brought up. But the support from the viewers while it was airing was amazing, that got me through it.

Interviewer: Yes, you did have a tough season. How is your friendship with Heather Thompson now? Hailey: We had lunch together a week after we filmed the reunion, because that did open some wounds and we needed to have a private conversation about our friendship. But we're good now, we have decided to move on and leave last year in the past.

Interviewer: If asked, would you return for a second season? Hailey: Haha, well... I am undecided on that. This was a wildcard for me, doing reality, since I am very comfortable with scripted shows. And filming was exactly what I expected it to be, not nice... But I do think that if I would go back, I would have a better time, knowing how it works. I would think about it, if they ask me.

Interviewer: Well, we would love to see you back. How is your relationship with the other ladies? Hailey: Uhm... I am very close with Lauren, I really got to know her this past year and she has been an amazing friend. I have also been getting to know Mila better, we talked after the reunion and are going for some drinks later today. Octavia and Penny, I am not very close to... But who knows what will happen in the future.

Interviewer: How do you feel about the stuff that came out about Penny apparently not paying her glam team? Hailey: If true, that's a big issue. I think everyone deserves to get paid, even if they don't do a great job, then just don't let them come again. I had my issues with Penny this season, but I never expected her to do something like that...

Interviewer: Octavia just announced she is doing Special Forces, she is leaving today. Did you know about her doing the show, and have the two of you spoken, did you wish her well? Hailey: Yes, I saw that she announced that on her social media. She didn't tell me beforehand, I found out with everyone else. But that didn't surprise me, since we're not close like that. And I have not spoken to her about that, but I wish her all the best doing that show.

Interviewer: Do you think she has what it takes to make it far? Hailey: Haha, I think we all know the answer... Let's say this, I don't know Octavia to be a very active or adventurous sim. That's my answer.

Interviewer: Well, that's a good way to end the interview. Thank you for doing it and opening up your home, and we hope to see you back on our screens next season. Hailey: The pleasure was all mine, thank you.