#I also saw Renfield with my best friend!

[eatyourdamnpears]

the cashier at Barnes and Noble was probably so confused

[immediatebreakfast]

I love how Renfield is the oldest (59) and Mina is very likely the living youngest, and yet they bond so well. (It reminds me how well Mina befriended the 99 year old Mr Swales that he sought her company and felt care for her.) It probably contributed that Jack may have experience with interacting with "madmen" and studying, Mina had lived with and loved a "madman".

It's truly incredible how a simple conversation between an old man in physical cell, and a young woman in a mental cell put such a dent in the Count's plans that he had to flee to Transylvania once it was clear that nothing would stop the crew.

Even if the repercutions were huge in the narrative, in between the horror and the action it was just a visit (probably the first visit that Renfield had in a long time) to talk.

Reading again the entry I noticed how hostile Renfield is towards Mina at first,

"You're not the girl the doctor wanted to marry, are you? You can't be, you know, for she's dead." - R.M. Renfield, september 30.

and even with everything one can say about sexism, and the building infantilization of Mina, let's remember that this is the first time Renfield meets someone that is specifically associated with Jack. Renfield's remarked abuser in both authority, and personhood in general. Also by probably being informed by Dracula himself that both Mina and Jonathan are the key players in this continuous attacks against his plans in England, on top of just almost correctly assuming that Mina must share the same opinion towards the mentally ill that society has.

Three strikes against Mina that she switfly defeats by treating Renfield like the person he is, and talking to him in a normal manner. After taking care of her beloved Jonathan, and being at Lucy's side most of her life Mina is aware of how the Other is viewed. Maybe as she saw Renfield, Mina thought of a worse reality where the man on the bed was her Jonathan in Budapest, maybe she saw how Seward reacted to Renfield's words, and realized what was actually layed out in the room. Or maybe Mina just saw an old man in need of an ear, and she just listened.

This is the first time that Renfield puts a face on a victim of the Count's games, he puts a voice on the young victim whose life is going to violently end in what he thought was supposed to be eternal bliss. Lucy is a distant dream for Renfield, the revenge against these people who dared to put up a fight against this old ancient evil that goes beyond all of their years combined.

Renfield never knew Lucy, but he knows Mina now.

Renfield sees the young Mina Harker, entering life with her equal young husband in hand, and trying to solve the murder of what he knows now was her best friend, and he reflects. He reflects on everything he has done, on what has passed, and what he can do tomorrow.

Mr. Renfield asked if he might see me. Poor man, he was very gentle, and when I came away he kissed my hand and bade God bless me. Some way it affected me much; I am crying when I think of him. This is a new weakness, of which I must be careful. Jonathan would be miserable if he knew I had been crying. - Mina Harker, october 2.

And the man is devastated to see how he is helping orchestrate the murder of another young lady to please the Count. He becomes desperate to leave (a request that is denied by both Seward, and Van Helsing), so the Count can't have access to the inside of the asylum. It doesn't matter if he looks like a coward by the time's literary standards because if the only way to at least save that young lady is by acting like one? Then Renfield might as well do it, he has nothing to lose sans his life.

I think that the key difference between Mina, and Jack when it comes to Renfield is empathy, and the ability to simply treat the other person with the same humanity you should be treated.

Jack may have studied, and climbed until he got to be the head of an asylum, but his own biases, mental problems, and ableism blurred the lines between patient and doctor so hard that he made Renfield's life a boring hell. From when their dynamic was introduced, to Renfield's death, the narrative dictated how Seward was putting both into a deep spiral in which, not even with Renfield's manipulations, none of them were going to come out in victory.

In contrast, Mina has cared for Jonathan without any restrain, and has lived in service of what the situation demands of her at all times. She knows, as a young victorian lady, how to balance herself without trying to compete, or win the other person in the room with her. Mina only needed to genuinely talk to Renfield to break his heart because she gave him the respect, and honestly she expects for herself when talking.

[sidhewrites]

❀ -- About me

It’s been a while, so I'm revamping my about me! Hi, my name is Ree, and my pronouns are he/they/she (mix em up, have fun). I'm a writer and artist, and I also read and crochet.

My official pen name is Ray Lane, and I have my first novella out on Gumroad. More info here. I'm almost ready for beta readers of my first full-length novel, so keep an eye out!

I've been writing since I was a kid, with varying degrees of success, but I've been able to get more and more progress with my current projects. While I love reading horror and fantasy, I tend to write lighter and softer fantasy and comedy.

I love learning about biology and zoology, and have tons of fun animal facts. I also have a cat named Daisy, who I take on walks.

Where else to find me:

@reedraws (art blog)

@pointing-out-crochet-in-media

@arcane-nari (fandom specific blog)

Carrd (Commissions + Socials)

❀ Main Writing Project: I Met a Girl in the Graveyard.

Aka, Graveyard Lesbians. Kaz Pine is a skeptic. She’s spent the last three years working in a historical graveyard, and never saw a single ghost. Still hurting from her recent breakup with a believer, Kaz decides to sabotage a high-profile ghost hunt, where she meets and recruits the enigmatic Lucy to join in on the prank. But when Kaz’s co-worker (her cat. His name is Renfield. She’ll show you pictures later.) disrupts a seance, things around town start getting a little … spooky.

GENRE: Romcom, campy horror.

ADDITIONAL TAGS: Gay and bisexual main characters. An old cat as a major supporting character. Ghost hunters. Jock MC.

More Info Here

Silly Powerpoint Here

Start reading here

❀ Secondary Projects ❀

❀ Glimte (Complete!) As a child, Katja’s father told her that sirens live in the bioluminescent waters surrounding their small village, but she seems to be the only one who believes in them. Her belief is solidified after a siren saves her as a child – and cements her fixation on sirens throughout her life, even through the tragedies and changes throughout the years.

Genre: Short fiction, wlw, low fantasy

More info here.

Get the eBook here.

❀  Silverlight: Polly is a healer’s apprentice in a sleepy village, where the most exciting thing in her life is sneaking into the forest with her best friend Jack, an exiled fairy with no magic to his name. But when they find an injured fairy solder in the woods, they set off beyond the veil into a world of magic and danger to stop the wicked Night King before he can cover the world in darkness forever.

GENRE: Light fantasy, adventure, romance subplot.

ADDITIONAL TAGS: Bisexual main character, transgender love interest. Talking animal sidekick. A requisite masquerade ball. Polyamory. Childhood friends to lovers, bodyguard romance. #LetPollyHaveABigSword2k23

More Info Here

❀  Lady of Scrolls: Currently no official project, but I talk a lot about my OC Ruby, the keeper of a pocket dimension called the Archival Realm. Known as a monster in some worlds, and an oracle in others, Mistress Spider in in her infinite knowledge will answer any question for those who seek the truth -- so long as they have an equal trade, of course.

More Info Here

Art

[samd1o1]

Gothic Horror HCs But Using The Penny Dreadful Versions As Well Cus I Like Them

Hello, So recently I have been really obsessed with 1800s gothic horror literature.

My favorite books are (in order);

1. Frankenstein The Modern Prometheus

2. The Picture Of Dorian Gray

3. The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde

4. Dracula

So imagine my fucking excitement when I heard there was a show that used THOSE EXACT FOUR BOOKS!!!!

Anyway I thought I'd take the time to talk about my favorite characters from the books/show and hcs I have for them all.

Now massive Trigger Warning for some ableism/sanism from the victorian era but also current day, and also queermisia.

All of these characters are canon ND I believe based off of their canon "madness" and I also believe they were all queer men.

----

Victor Frankenstein

Victor is a trans man you must understand this. He literally has postpartum depression in the book. He is also forced into an arranged marriage with a woman but has so much more chemistry with his best friend Henry Clerval. I think he's gay and his love for both Elizabeth and Lilly are just comphet. (He loves Elizabeth like a sister tho).

Victor is also disabled in the book. In Penny Dreadful he also has asthma! I also hc Victor is autistic. In the book he has a special interest in alchemy and science. He info dumps about poetry and clocks a lot in Penny Dreadful lmao. He's also just awkward like me fr fr. There was also a rlly funny scene in Penny Dreadful where everyone noticed this one character was a trans woman and made a "face" of surprise. Victor never did because honestly I don't think he fucking noticed. Which made me laugh because I didn't either.

Dorian Gray

This man is just me sometimes and I kinda hate it. Definitely has BPD. He treats life as a fantasy and has a hard time applying reality to reality. He also will love you one second and can hate you so passionately the next. Henry Wotton is most definitely his favorite person. There's also an entire chapter in the book dedicated to talking about his hyperfixations. Dorian is also bisexual! He falls in love with a few women in the book and Penny Dreadful. But also many men! Oscar Wilde was gay and put a lot of himself into Dorian lmao.

Henry Jekyll

Look the guy with daddy issues. Seriously out of all the things they chose to adapt for Penny Dreadful this made me laugh the most (in a good way). It's a random throwaway line in the book but I'm glad they kept it because his father leads to Henry's toxic mindset. Henry feels the need to be respectful in high society and not indulge his "indecent" thoughts. These thoughts include things like murder but also homosexual desires. The man is gay, love that for him. Don't let the musical fool you. I think his other violent thoughts come from OCD intrusive thoughts. As a median system I do also relate to the duality he feels. But I also would be careful ever putting a plural reading on Jekyll and Hyde for obvious reasons.

Robert Montague Renfield

Oh Renfield so much to say about you my man. (This is where that TW comes in handy)

Ok so the R.M. of his name standing for "Robert Montague" is ONLY from the new 2023 movie "Renfield". Renfield never had a first name because Bram Stoker was an ableist dick who saw Renfield as less than human for his mental illness. So out of spite of him and love for Renfield I hc his name to be Robert in all versions. This isn't to praise the new movie for its handle on mental illness though. While I absolutely adore the movie and it's camp and message I can't look past the ableism. It constantly demonizes NPD and for the topic of our discussion writes out Robert's mental illness. Robert in the book has psychosis and periods of mania and depression. Honestly I'll have to reread his sections of the book soon and see if I change my opinion because I had a hard time thinking of a label for him. Anyway I think he has Bipolar! But this is why I prefer Penny Dreadful over Renfield 2023 for the character. He gets to be mentally ill and still do a good thing and be just like everyone else in the show (not good or bad, just gray). On the topic of Renfield 2023 again I also think they (Drac and Ren) are ex lovers lmao, I mean it's literally framed like that they just don't have the balls to say it. I now just read every version like this. So yes another Bi king! Wow this ended up mainly being about Renfield whoops.

----

So yeah as you can see I really like the books and Penny Dreadful. I loved that Penny Dreadful wasn't scared to make its characters ND coded like a certain someone *cough* Renfield 2023 *cough* and be faithful to the OGs!

Anyway I'm not a medical professional lmao, I've just researched a lot of stuff trying to figure out my own problems and it's also smth I take an interest in. The queer stuff I am a professional tho /j.

Was this post messy? Oh yeah, wouldn't have it any other way.

[gardenofshadcws]

Dracula Daily Day 86

IT’S THE BIG ONE 

Dr. Seward’s Diary

Renfield nooooo I’m so upset

Dracula how dare you beat my boy like this I’m in PAIN

AND NOW YOU GO AND BLAME HIM FOR THIS?  LIKE HE DID IT TO HIMSELF???

Dr. Abe this is so not an accident what are you talking about

Arthur and Quincey heard the plot needed them and who are they to refuse?

Can we save his life because he’s a human and a good bean and not just because he has information?  Like please?

HE’S ALIVE!!!  

“What’s wrong with my face?” I’m DISTRAUGHT

DON’T DIE

“I must go back to death - or worse” DRACULA HOW COULD YOU

The way Renfield capitalizes He like Dracula is a god, or on a level with God is so telling without saying much at all

Ugh this poor thing has been a victim this entire time.  And Jack just looks at him like a science experiment.

“I don’t care for the pale people” AAAHH MINA

Everything hurts and I’m dying

He tried to SAVE her BABY RENFIELD AAGHGH.

Oh cool we’ve gotten what we wanted so we’re just ditching im I guess.

Quincey I love you but I think saving her from becoming a vampire is more important than silly Victorian propriety

DRACULA GET AWAY FROM HERRRR.

It’s truly disgusting how many adaptations saw this scene with Dracula drinking from Mina and decided “romantic?  Sexy?  Soulmates???”

BUT THE SUITOR SQUAD GOT THIS FUCK OUTTA HERE

Noooo Mina ;~;

This part is destroying me

Jonathan seeing his wife distress and immediately going “I’m going to kill the fucker” is glorious

Mina and Jonathan are relationship goals

“I much touch him or kiss him no more”  “aww hell no” Jonathan is the most ride or die ever.  Given the choice between Mina or God and he chooses Mina I LOVE this sweet boy

NOOO THE RECORDS.  But it’s okay, Mina’s the best and saved everything

RENFIEEEEELDDDDD 

PTERODACTYL SCREECH

BABYYYY NOOOOO

Quincey and his bats, man.

I’m so upset

The story of Dracula slipping in to attack Mina is just as horrifying the second time around

“A little refreshment” ewww

“What have I done to deserve such a fate” NOTHING MINA YOU’RE PERFECT AND WE’RE PRIVILEGED TO HAVE YOU HERE

And there goes Jonathan’s hair

Jonathan Harker’s Journal

Jonathan stressing makes me stressed

God’s not helping you, your friends are helping you

RENFIEEEEEELLLLLLLD

He tried to save Mina and this is what he gets 

This attendant sucks at his job and now my SWEET BOY IS DEAD.

Nothing should have been kept from Mina in the first place dammit

“I shall die!” MINAAAA.

Van Helsing’s right for once, that’s not actually going to help anything. 

Yes, lockpicking, much better than breaking in.

At least Mina doesn’t have fangs yet, that’s a good sign

Way to go Van Helsing, you made Mina cry again.

And then you burned her head.  You’re handling this extremely poorly, man.

Poor Mina :(  Girl just wants to live her life

“She shall not go into that unknown and terrible land alone” AWWWW.  JONATHAN YOU ARE THE SWEETEST.

This is so romantic it’s melting my black dead heart

“I have written this in the train” Just like the beginning of the book, that’s a beautiful callback.

“The place smells so vilely” perhaps that’s because you just lit a cigar, Art (yes, I know it’s Vamp Stink)

Dr. Seward’s Diary

It always seems like a long wait when we’re waiting for Arthur and Quincey.

Jonathan babyyyy

Yeah, Jack, you’ve got nothing on Jonathan I’m sorry

So, if Dracula was a scholar, are we… condemning the seeking of knowledge over faith?  Is that what’s happening here?

The zoophagous patient had a NAME, dammit

Jonathan is out for BLOOD.  And not in the vampire way

There’s Dracula, it’s battle time!

Jonathan where the HELL did you get a kukri

Damn.  SO close.

All this and Mina’s still trying to put on a brave face

Can we stop talking about Mina’s purity because that’s giving off some really icky Madonna-whore stuff

These two love each other so freaking much

Stoker’s letting his boys cry again you love to see it

I am also in tears by the way if you even care

Jonathan Harker’s Journal

I too thought today would never end

“My poor wronged darling” awww

It’s okay, guys, Quincey’s here to protect you :’) 

[imsorryimlate]

gonna brainrot for a bit instead of doing my greek translation work because fuck that shit.

anyway, so on october 30th, a lot of people took note of this interaction:

Dr. Seward said:— "I think I had better go with Quincey. We have been accustomed to hunt together, and we two, well armed, will be a match for whatever may come along. You must not be alone, Art. It may be necessary to fight the Slovaks, and a chance thrust—for I don't suppose these fellows carry guns—would undo all our plans. There must be no chances, this time; we shall, not rest until the Count's head and body have been separated, and we are sure that he cannot re-incarnate." He looked at Jonathan as he spoke, and Jonathan looked at me.

and it’s an interesting passage and there’s a lot to say about it, but what is interesting to me is that i saw a lot of people at the time say that separating jonathan and mina must have been decided by the doctors off-screen, which i agree is definitely a possibility, but the reason people gave was that it was out of character for seward to take initiative like this. which?? just isn’t true.

i’m not gonna pretend that i’m the be-all end-all expert on seward. but i just feel like a lot of people are misunderstanding his character, and slot him into being only a passive follower. but he isn’t.

let’s start with lucy’s introduction of him on may 11th:

Mr. Holmwood introduced him to me, and he called here to see us, and often comes now.

while it is established here that arthur introduced them, it also states that seward took it upon himself to call on the westenras and beginning to form a friendship with them to be able to woo lucy.

then, in a professional sense, there’s the whole thing where he decided to start up a new asylum all on his own. that takes some initiative! and in the august 20th entry, we see him making plans to follow renfield to see what he’s up to:

We shall to-night play sane wits against mad ones. He escaped before without our help; to-night he shall escape with it. We shall give him a chance, and have the men ready to follow in case they are required....

which again, no matter what you think of his motives and methods, speaks to him being a doer as much as a thinker.

it is also noticeable that he is the one to take initiative to call on van helsing, on september 2nd:

With regard to Miss Westenra's health I hasten to let you know at once that in my opinion there is not any functional disturbance or any malady that I know of. At the same time, I am not by any means satisfied with her appearance; she is woefully different from what she was when I saw her last. […] I am in doubt, and so have done the best thing I know of; I have written to my old friend and master, Professor Van Helsing, of Amsterdam, who knows as much about obscure diseases as any one in the world.

he obviously feels secure enough in his profession and his skills/knowledge to get a second opinion when he feels that he is out of his depth. he follows van helsing’s advice and orders because he feels confident that van helsing is more competent in this regard; not because he’s incompetent himself.

likewise, he comfortably takes a follower role in the october 3rd entry with quincey, because he believes that quincey is more experienced in this specific area of expertise:

In all our hunting parties and adventures in different parts of the world, Quincey Morris had always been the one to arrange the plan of action, and Arthur and I had been accustomed to obey him implicitly. Now, the old habit seemed to be renewed instinctively. With a swift glance around the room, he at once laid out our plan of attack, and, without speaking a word, with a gesture, placed us each in position.

and in the october 1st entry, after renfield nearly convinces the rest of the crew to let him out, seward’s word is still final. not only because he owns the asylum, but because this is his area of expertise, and he expects the be respected and followed in it, the way he respects and follows others when he considers them to be more knowledgeable. even when there is doubt to it, like quincey questioning if he made the right decision, van helsing quickly gives his support to seward and encourages trust in his professional authority.

anyway, seward is not a naturally passive guy, or “useless” as i’ve seen some people call him, he’s actually very pragmatic and takes initiative, but he’s confident enough in himself to follow others when he believes they are more competent.

[citrus-cactus]

So, I saw a ballet production of Dracula last weekend (original choreography by Michael Pink) and I HAVE THOUGHTS.

I should caveat that I have never read Dracula before doing Dracula Daily this year, nor have I seen any other adaptations, and these are just the things I remember! I might look up the official recording of the Milwaukee version later if it’s still available, just to see how they compare.

This is really just a summary of this particular production/my impressions, but it got really long. Also contains spoilers (for the ballet: definitely, for the end of the book: maybe?? I’m keeping that part vague on purpose!)

Overall though I thought it was really good, really MOVING, with high production value. Great sets and costumes, including smoke/pyrotechnics, lots of story, as well as great staging and choreography. Music was very modern: dissonant and amelodic, and contributed hugely to the discomfort and horror. I am SO GLAD that I was familiar with the story and characters beforehand though, it made it so much easier to understand and (I think) that much more enjoyable.

I am also going to state up front here that the final scene (Act 3, Scene 3) included an explosion effect that was extremely loud, bright, and sudden. We were warned that it would occur before the ballet started, but as it comes so late and is meant to be an interruption to the action on stage, it was still a rather unpleasant surprise when it happened. According to someone in my party who has seen this version before, “it’s always that loud,” so try to keep that in mind if you ever end up seeing it in person, because it was honestly not the best effect to unleash in a dark theater!

I also generally would not recommend this ballet for young kids (aka as fun seasonal theatrical experience akin to The Nutcracker). Obviously everyone is different, but Dracula is a horror story with some intense and mature imagery that just keeps escalating, so if you are thinking about bringing a child, please consider if this is something they would enjoy very carefully! I would personally rate it T for Teens.

Ok, thanks for making it through my disclaimers, now on with the show:

It starts with a prologue. Jonathan having a very foreshadowy nightmare that includes many of the elements we’re about to see. He and Mina (in a wedding veil!) weave in and out of some increasingly unsettling stuff. It gets worse and worse and he wakes up SCREAMING MINA’S NAME and she rushes in to comfort him. Our good friend Jonathan is having a mental breakdown before he even leaves on his very bad business trip, and in this version, we can’t even blame it on paprika hendl! JONATHAN T^T

ACT I

Act 1, Scene 1: Jonathan departs for Transylvania. It is established that the Harkers know Van Helsing at this point. Renfield is also there. Right before Jonathan leaves, Mina wraps a red scarf around his neck. I AM OBSESSED WITH THIS AS A COSTUME CHOICE. The foreshadowing! The symbolism!! JONATHAN!!!!! T^T

Scene 2 shows Jonathan arriving at the village as the villagers are conducting a protection ritual. Sticks are knocked together and laid on the ground in a cross shape. A dead wolf is brought in and paraded around on pikes. Jonathan watches passively; I can practically hear his thought processes at this point. He is given a cross to wear around his neck. He is brought to the castle by an imposing coachman. The Count appears wearing a very cool blood-red coat. They enter.

Act 1 Scene 3: Jonathan is shown to his room. He takes off his cross (Jonathan NOOOOO!) and is immediately visited by the Weird Sisters. This is actually a very cool bit of staging (one of them appears from INSIDE HIS BED!!). Drac intervenes when things start getting Too Sexy(/he’s about to lose his midnight snack) and distracts the ladies by throwing them a thing in a bloody bag.

And then. 

AND THEN!!!! 

TWO-MAN PAS DE DEUX. This is an incredible bit of ballet. Paraphrasing someone else’s description, it is an absolutely AMAZING distillation of what Jonathan goes through at the castle. And just as the Count is about to bite… the scene shifts, and Jonathan is home, as if waking up from another terrible nightmare, once again screaming for Mina. THIS IS THE END OF ACT ONE.

ACT TWO

Act 2 is all about Lucy!! Scene 1 shows us a party at the Grand Hotel in Whitby. Unfortunately, this was one of the weaker scenes from a clarity perspective. There were LOTS of people on stage, mostly couples, and since it’s a different occasion, everyone is wearing different clothes. The program said that Jonathan and Mina would both be there, and I kept wondering “is that them??” until they ACTUALLY appeared, and the only real “tell” from where I was sitting was that they were interacting with Van Helsing (though I think Jonathan briefly had a cane? I might be mistaken, but AAH T^T). Before that, I had been hoping the Harkers were the couple dressed all in black—that would have been another amazing costuming choice, but I suppose they don't have that much to mourn (yet…).

Lucy was also really hard to spot, and as someone in my party pointed out, Lucy and Mina probably should have had different hair colors to make them more visually distinct (it’s not like wigs were off the table; Dracula’s danseur was wearing one). Basically, it was VERY hard to tell who the main characters were in this scene unless you were already familiar with the book!

It is also worth noting at this point that there is no Dr. Seward in this version. They seem to have combined his character with Van Helsing’s, which is also a bit unfortunate, because I was looking forward to Lucy dancing with her three guys.

BUT!!!!! Lucy still had Arthur and Quincey, which is fantastic (an adaptation that actually has Quincey!!! He had fringe on his jacket and BRIEFLY wore a cowboy hat, but he left it at the coat-check and never got it back XD). Their relationship dynamic was obvious, and very true to the book. Lucy got to dance with each of them, and also BOTH AT THE SAME TIME (Pas De Trois… what a queen!). And all of the Drac attack pack are friends. I am LIVING!!!

…and then the Count shows up. Boo! His presence goes unnoticed by almost everyone at this party. Jonathan has a bit of a relapse (:C), and while most of the main cast is looking after him, time seems to slow down for everyone but Lucy and the Count. He enthralls her for a bit, and then bites her—IN PUBLIC WHILE NO ONE IS WATCHING—before leaving. And she tries to carry on and dance like nothing is wrong, but she collapses. LUCY!!!!!!!! T^T

Scene 2 summarizes Lucy’s “illness” and turning. Everyone is concerned about her. I should mention we have moved to the sanatorium at this point (which I guess is Van Helsing’s?), and there is a very cool two-level set with Renfield doing some amazing pantomime in his cell up top, and Lucy’s room on the bottom. Mina gets to be there with the one she loves with all the moods and tenses of the verb, and that is SO IMPORTANT.

Van Helsing lays garlic around Lucy’s neck and bed, and everyone leaves to let her rest. Then the night nurse enters and is so offended by the smell she removes the garlic (nooooooo!). And then the Count comes again. First to Renfield, and then we DO get a little lizard fashion(/bat fashion) as he slithers down the set to Lucy’s bed (this was an amazing bit of athleticism, but there were stairs RIGHT THERE Drac, why do you have to be so extra?? XD). They dance some more, he bites her again, and then disappears, crawling backwards into the mist and shadows. 

Everyone comes back, wondering what happened, but now Lucy is dying. She says her goodbyes to everyone (including Mina!!!!) and goes still. And then we get to see her ballerina execute an INCREDIBLE change in character as she becomes undead. And the Bloofer Lady escapes, crawling backwards into the shadows, in the exact same manner as the Count (lizard fashion Lucy!!). END OF ACT 2.

ACT THREE

Act 3 focuses on Mina. It starts with her in the Harkers’ bedroom at the sanatorium. She’s writing by herself, then falls asleep, and has a dream about Lucy (yes, really!). It’s more of a vision than a dream, in which she sees vampire!Lucy in her (now blood-stained) dress lure a child away into the night. It’s so good and creepy!! And then Mina wakes up. VH is there briefly, and then Renfield starts acting up. He escapes from his cell and attacks VH (miming licking VH's blood off the floor in a VERY recognizable moment!), and some orderlies subdue him and put him in a straightjacket. After VH leaves, Mina is sympathetic towards him, and they actually dance a pas de deux together (!!), which is both amazing and tragic because Renfield’s arms are bound :(

Scene 2 sees “the men” coming back, getting ready to hunt some vampires. If I remember correctly, VH tells Quincey to put his gun away, and gives him a cross instead (tragically, Drac is not shot at by a cowboy nor stabbed by a solicitor in this version). The Suitor Squad and VH leave for the evening.

Jonathan is exhausted. He takes all the pillows for himself (no offense to the ballet, but Jonathan Harker from my emails WOULD NEVER in the bed he shares with his wife!!) and crashes for the night. And then it’s Count Time again. Mina tries to shake her husband awake several times, but it’s to no avail (T^T). Van Helsing et al. burst into the Harkers’ room just as Mina is being forced to drink the Count’s blood, and he steals her and flees into the night.

Scene 3 is the hunt, and since that’s where we are in the book, I won’t go into too much detail (though I’m quite sure the ballet is taking some massive liberties at this point). Here’s what I will say about it: It takes place in the ruins of Carfax Abbey. There is a SURPRISE CHOIR IN THE ORCHESTRA PIT. Renfield dies by the Count’s hand. The Count dies by the polycule’s hand (I don’t think it’s a spoiler to say that!!). But also, a character who I will not name dies by the Count’s hand. If this happens in the book, I will be DISTRAUGHT.

Amazingly, the Bloofer Lady is NOT shown to be killed. She just… disappears? Mr. Pink, can we get a sequel about her? Please?? :D

Genuinely, though, the ending was gutting, and I mean that in a good way. It’s the same sort of gutting as the novel has been thus far, showing these characters changed by the horrors they’ve been forced to face and the implication that they will never be the same as a result.

Final takeaway: I really liked it, though it may not be for everyone. The unique partnering in each act (Jonathan/Count, Lucy/Suitors, and Mina/Renfield) were the dance highlights for me, and I absolutely recommend it, if (like me) you’ve been following along with Dracula Daily and/or enjoy seeing the occasional contemporary ballet!

[bitch-butter]

not to be weird or anything but "three hour long montage of men talking about Important Things in rooms" is so you. Like, I was nodding along because it made so much sense haha

What's your fav movies you had seen so far this year, and why?

w o o f that's hard because i feel like this year has been so slow to start movie-wise! i'm really happy it's summer now, because this is typically when all the movies i'm really excited for start opening, but things won't get really crazy until fall so a lot of the movies i've actively sought out this year have been horror lol so for my own piece of mind i'll back it up to Exactly a year to highlight some movies that i really, really responded to so it doesn't seem like i Just consume darkness lol

being really annoying about movies under the cut

oppenheimer (2023) - see prev Showing Ass post

reality (2023) - a Very scary movie that if you live in america you should watch, because not only is it told impeccably but it's actually shocking how few people actually remember Reality Winner given the fact that this story is only a few years old. sydney sweeney is incredible in this.

skinamarink (2022) - a Divisive horror movie that truly did get so much shit but the way it scared the hell out of me remembering being a kid left alone in a house with just a TV cannot be described.

renfield (2023) - me and my gf dressed as vampires to go to this movie, it was a laugh riot from beginning to end and nic cage deserves 77 awards, best dracula since gary oldman.

nope (2022) - 100% more scared of monkeys than i am of aliens, jordan peele call me to talk to me about our national fixation on spectacle and also Westerns.

tár (2022) - what a f u c k i n g movie this was, i saw it with my best friend on a visit to Omaha and we screamed the entire time. i love a Complicated film that wants to explore the intersections of bad people making good art, the gender studies major that still lives within me was losing it watching this movie.

pamela, a love story (2023) - this is your typical Netflix documentary, meaning there isn't a whole lot of New information that they give, but any opportunity given to us to reexamine a woman that was unfairly maligned i think is a very, very good opportunity. and pamela is a great writer, and seems like a very lovely (again, complicated) person, so i enjoyed getting to see her overcome some bullshit.

women talking (2022) - i really think i cried the entire movie when i first saw it, and i watched it again recently and did the same thing so i think it holds up. really excellent performances, even if its a very talky movie it also has a really potent atmosphere and it So effectively builds horror into hope by the end.

AND nothing compares (2022) - this is timely, because we lost shuhada sadaqat aka sinéad o'connor yesterday, and i was just recently thinking about this documentary and how much i loved it and how i should rewatch it. it's so sensitive to her, and takes her thoughts and feelings Seriously, and that made me very emotional to see as someone who remembers her being made into a fucking joke my entire childhood. it isn't a Perfect doc, but i value it very much, especially now.

really really pumped for: Dune Part II, The Last Voyage of the Demeter, Killers of the Flower Moon (funny story: this past weekend my best friend ran into lily gladstone at the grocery store and apparently she was So nice lol) and Barbie (seeing it this weekend for my birthday, very , very, very excited).

thank you for asking ~ 🖤

[solesoldier]

GET TO KNOW THE MUN.

what’s your phone wallpaper : tobias kwan artwork, it's been the same wallpaper for like five years lmao last song you listened to : was listening to sun bleached flies last in my car cause i'm mentally stable 🤪 currently reading : i really don't read that much, technically faust but i'm also still working on devil house by john darnielle last movie : saw renfield in theaters, it was meh last show : yellowjackets, i'm so behind what are you wearing right now : amigo the devil band shirt and sweat pants how tall are you? : who knows, i'm riddled with scoliosis. best guess is 5'8" piercings / tattoos? : ears pierced, not my choice tho. not a fan of needles or ya know, pain glasses ? contacts? : glasses, i'll only do contacts for cosplay last thing you ate? : cheese enchiladas favorite color(s) : teal, i've said for years it wasn't but who am i fooling current obsession : i mean it's mass effect brain rot season, duh. d&d is always an obsession do you have a crush right now? : nah, i've kind of reached a place where i'm content being single favorite fictional character : how dare you honestly last place you traveled : oh god, just cause? probably nashville. went back to atlanta earlier this year but that was to help my friends at a con. i've never been out of the country, you really don't get to travel much when you're poor lmao

tagged by: @unfragile !!! <3 tagging: you! steal it and tag me

[zoophagist]

Oh! I am desperately waiting your review!

ooc;; alright, i held off since i saw it a day before it was wildly opened and didn't want to detail thoughts about the thing no one had really experienced yet. i'm hoping the renfield girlies are all unhinged enough to have gone opening night and now we'll be on the same page.

overall take - it was fine. just pretty middling. i had some laughs, and there were a few scenes i thought were really solid. it didn't do anything deep and it really didn't want to, and that's the vibe, fair enough. mostly i had a feeling of like... that's objectively renfield but is not recognizably renfield to me. i said this to a friend and i'm upset that the tumblr nonsense words are the best way to articulate it, but basically they made him a wet cat when they should have made him skrunkly. i'd say 6/10, didn't change my life, not my renfield, but a some silly fun!

more thoughts below cut, but i'm not doing a blow-by-blow, lads, simply too tired from real life. but if you or others have specific questions i'm happy to answer :) spoilers below!

went into the theater worried the pop psych angle all about 'narcissism' and everything would be overbearing (i'm begging people to relearn how to use any other, non-therapizing language to talk about mean or unpleasant people. like did we need the psych angle? did it enhance the story in a way saying 'dracula is just an asshole' wouldn't have done? mini rant over) but when i watched it i will say the second half of the movie (underrepresented in trailers) moved away from that and was more fun for it.

i saw a themed costume screening so the audience was obviously at a higher level of investment and more willing to have a good time. the movie seemed to go over really well with the group there

the love story wasn't as big a focus as i feared it would be, and that was very nice. rebecca as a character also did meaningfully play into renfield's character drive of wanting to stand up for himself. she just. well. i just didn't like her that much. the cop thing didn't help because it made moments i imagine were intended to be quirky fun for her read to me as "cop points gun at person in rage to cow them / cop has anger issues / cop disrespects or demeans others on the job." especially with her particular backstory and her tension with her fed sister, i think she'd have been a more fun character if she was just some lady, outside the system, trying to solve her problems. but anyway. yeah, not as huge a problem as it could be, but wasn't rooting for it

they needed to let nicholas hoult of the leash they kept him on this whole movie. he is capable of so much more unhinged energy and they really had him "i'm just a little guy"-ing his way through the whole thing. the 5 minutes where he got to beat dracula's face in and got a little too excited about it were the best for his character in the whole movie

what was the LORE? i love lore, and this movie was lore-light, playing vast and loose with vampires. vampire blood is a heal-all, so drinking it can't turn you into a vampire i guess? nor a familiar? in the course of the movie several people become familiars but we never see how it's done and i wish they let us play with and understand the magic there a little more! especially if you're just going to hand-wave away the bugs = power thing. i craved more lore. in general the writing was always like... there were just enough bits of development to get a job done but i kept wanting something deeper? maybe it's just the genre priorities since i'm not an action/horror fan.

i said it before and i'll say it again - teddy lobo was more renfield-ish than renfield was. i think his desperation to please, his manic energy, and his "i need you to know i'm dracula's favorite or i'll DIE" swag were very fun! everyone said nicolas cage would steal the show, but i honestly think ben schwartz as teddy was the show-stealer to me. if you like any other iteration of renfield's character, i really think teddy will be more interesting to you than the I Just Want To Be Normal edition of renfield this film is serving.

action and gore was fun sometimes. i'm not squeamish and none of it bothered me, but not being an action fan the fights weren't that much of a draw for me. just not my taste, but they looked pretty good!

there's one scene where dracula confronts renfield about betrayal, and honestly i thought that was the best performance both nicks gave in the whole movie. i thought it did a great job really driving home what this take on the drac/renfield relationship is like and how good dracula is at twisting renfield's will until it snaps. the one sour note about it was how it of course hinged on the whole 'narcissist' thing and like.... so, here's my hot take. the film and this scene spceifically would have been better if they didn't lead so heavy on all the group therapy jokes about narcissism. if you had just framed it as dracula's a selfish jerk who knows how to make things about him and let the writing/interaction tell the story (good ol' show, don't tell) this scene would have said EVERYTHING we need to know about this drac by being descriptive instead of prescriptive. (i hope that point makes sense. like i said, we're tired out here fellas, trying to make the brain do words right.) but as it stands, the scene is really good, sheds new light on their relationship, and makes renfield doubt his victimhood which is good for the plot.

renfield bought those clothes from a macy's and babyboy should not be allowed to shopping by himself is all i'm saying

renfield had a wife and daughter pre-31!dracula?? canon?? barbara hambly is somewhere out there feeling so valid for her book rn. for me it was just like... you really want us to think this man is straight, huh? but all you've done is make him a man who left his wife to be with a sexy male vampire so. the gays stay winning with renfield.

generally i was surprised by how mild and complex by reaction was to this. like with all the build up i really thought it was either going to suck or catch me off guard by being really good. but it really, truly, is just ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ okay! i think i was harder on it than most general audiences would be though, and again i'll reiterate the audience at my showing was really having a good time with it! on the whole, i'd call it a fun, silly little vampire romp, and say it's for popcorn viewing but not for deep thinking.

that "last voyage of the demeter" trailer tho 👀👀👀 that looks sick as fuck.

[sidhecraft]

❀ -- About me

At's been a while, so I'm revamping my about me! Hi, my name is Ree, and my pronouns are he/they/she (mix em up, have fun). I'm a writer and artist, and I also read and crochet.

My official pen name is Ray Lane, and I have my first novella out on Gumroad. More info here. I'm almost ready for beta readers of my first full-length novel, so keep an eye out!

I've been writing since I was a kid, with varying degrees of success, but I've been able to get more and more progress with my current projects. While I love reading horror and fantasy, I tend to write lighter and softer fantasy and comedy.

I love learning about biology and zoology, and have tons of fun animal facts. I also have a cat named Daisy, who I take on walks.

Where else to find me:

@reedraws (art blog)

@pointing-out-crochet-in-media

@arcane-nari (fandom specific blog)

Carrd (Commissions + Socials)

❀ Main Writing Project: I Met a Girl in the Graveyard.

Aka, Graveyard Lesbians. Kaz Pine is a skeptic. She’s spent the last three years working in a historical graveyard, and never saw a single ghost. Still hurting from her recent breakup with a believer, Kaz decides to sabotage a high-profile ghost hunt, where she meets and recruits the enigmatic Lucy to join in on the prank. But when Kaz’s co-worker (her cat. His name is Renfield. She’ll show you pictures later.) disrupts a seance, things around town start getting a little … spooky.

GENRE: Romcom, campy horror.

ADDITIONAL TAGS: Gay and bisexual main characters. An old cat as a major supporting character. Ghost hunters. Jock MC.

More Info Here

Silly Powerpoint Here

Start reading here

❀ Secondary Projects ❀

❀ Glimte (Complete!) As a child, Katja’s father told her that sirens live in the bioluminescent waters surrounding their small village, but she seems to be the only one who believes in them. Her belief is solidified after a siren saves her as a child – and cements her fixation on sirens throughout her life, even through the tragedies and changes throughout the years.

Genre: Short fiction, wlw, low fantasy

More info here.

Get the eBook here.

❀  Silverlight: Polly is a healer’s apprentice in a sleepy village, where the most exciting thing in her life is sneaking into the forest with her best friend Jack, an exiled fairy with no magic to his name. But when they find an injured fairy solder in the woods, they set off beyond the veil into a world of magic and danger to stop the wicked Night King before he can cover the world in darkness forever.

GENRE: Light fantasy, adventure, romance subplot.

ADDITIONAL TAGS: Bisexual main character, transgender love interest. Talking animal sidekick. A requisite masquerade ball. Polyamory. Childhood friends to lovers, bodyguard romance. #LetPollyHaveABigSword2k23

More Info Here

[general-sleepy]

Dracula Characters as Onion Headlines

Mina: 

Jonathan: 

Lucy: 

Arthur: 

Jack: 

Quincey: 

Van Helsing:

Dracula: 

Renfield:

Swales: 

Also Jonathan/Mina:

[ID: Mina: “Area Woman Not Listened to Again”; “Relaxing Tea Better Fucking Work”

Jonathan: “Wrongly Imprisoned Man Won’t Shut Up About It”; “I Shouldn’t Be Alive”

Lucy: “Report: Area Woman Has Best Friends in Whole World”; “Nation’s Poor Bastards Never Even Saw It Coming”

Arthur: “Ah, To Be Young, Rich, White, College-Educated, Straight, and in Love”; “Man Who Thought He’d Lost All Hope Loses Last Additional Bit Of Hope He Didn’t Even Know He Still Had” 

Jack: “Area Man Pronounced Dead On The Inside”; “Oh, God, Area Man Making His Move”

Quincey: “Report: Majority of Americans Would Jump At Chance To Rip Off Shirt And Use It As Tourniquet”; “Man Always Carries Gun In Case He Needs To Escalate Situation” 

Van Helsing: “Here’s Why You’re Wrong”; “Area Man a Walking Encyclopedia Of Everything Except Living A Normal Life”

Dracula: “I Am Old And Confused And Paralyzed With Sexual Frustration”; “Zing! I Just Got You With Another One Of My Signature ‘Complete Lies’”

Renfield: “Badly Injured Man Not Done Partying Yet”; “Fast-Learning New Hire Gains Quick Grasp Of How Terrible Job Is”

Swales: “Area Man Has Story For Every Stain On Pants”; “Grandfather’s Advice Pretty Bad For Someone Who’s Lived That Long”

Jonathan/Mina: “Genuine Love and Respect Only Thing Holding Area Relationship Together”]

[nosferatvpussy]

distorted lullabies [chapter XIV]

Word count: 6,791

Warnings: vulgar language, angst (everyone saw it coming)

Pairing: Dracula x female reader

AO3 link

__________________________________________________________________________

“Y/N, are you awake?” Mallory asked.

I closed the book and peeked my head up from beneath the covers to look at her. Light attacked my eyes and I squinted for a brief moment, gathering the covers under my chin.

“Did you really need to switch on that light?” I sat up on the bed and blinked. “This one was doing its job just fine.” I pointed at the reading light next to me.

“You’ll grow wings and turn into a bat any day now.” She laughed, and I glowered. Turning into a bat could very well be a possibility. I hadn’t asked Dracula about that. There was a lot I hadn’t asked, and a lot that he probably wouldn’t tell me now. “A joke, Y/N. You still remember those?”

“Not sure I do,” I scoffed. “You look great. Are you going out with Sean?”

Mallory’s blonde locks laid in large curls around her shoulders – an hour of carefully applied curling iron, I’d say – and her makeup was soft in such a way that her eyes looked more almond shaped than round and innocent like they usually did. A beige trench coat covered her outfit but her legs were on display. Mallory favoured mini dresses so I presumed that was what she had on underneath.

“No, he’s being annoying, it’s just me and the girls. And don’t you change the subject. I don’t feel good about leaving you here.” She sighed. “You’re my guest and I’ll leave you here to go party? That’s not right, but if you come with… It’ll be fun, come on. I’ll wait for you if you go get ready. We’ll drink and dance, and maybe you’ll find someone else.”

Someone else to end up bitten by Count Dracula. Another lesson, like Mallory was, to remind me that I was his.

“No rebounds,” I muttered. “I’ll be fine. I don’t feel like dancing.” She frowned. “Mal, I’m incredibly thankful that you’re letting me stay here but you don’t have to feel like you need to cater to me. We lived together during uni. Don’t think of me as a guest, more like a flatmate, a very brief one. I’ll go back home in two days time”

Staying with Mallory was more her decision than mine. Days ago, she’d bought a last minute train ticket from Gloucester and returned with me to London when the Sun was still up in the sky. When the taxi dropped me off at my house, Mal asked the cabbie to wait and strolled up my stairs on weak knees and packed my bags for me, saying that I needed her. I simply watched as she threw my outfits and shoes inside a large suitcase. While I waited, listening to her go on about broken hearts and that’s what friends do, I’d noticed that my bedroom’s window was open; I didn’t remember leaving it like that. Maybe I was being paranoid but being paranoid was a better choice than being stupid and I’d afforded enough stupidity for a lifetime, so I let Mallory harbour me. Dracula had unlimited access to my house since I had invited him in and closed doors and windows were no hindrance to him, as he had proved. Mallory was my best bet of avoiding him and staying safe, for now, and I could keep an eye on her to make sure she would be truly okay.

Mallory acted like usual, her ramblings, her chipper attitude, her easy laughter at the silliest things. Mallory, as before. Mallory, my best friend from college. Mallory, who had a scar on the side of her neck just like mine and, therefore, wasn’t at all like before. All she’d asked me on the following day after the wedding was how we got all the way from Berkeley Castle to Gloucester and how much she had had to drink. As a test I’d asked how she’d gotten hurt and she looked at me, bewildered, and said “I got hurt?”. When Dracula told me she wouldn’t remember anything, I didn’t expect her to not remember a single thing. I’d prepared a lengthy explanation but threw it away in favour of Mal’s bite-induced amnesia. Even when I went to change the bandage on her neck, she barely acknowledged me and simply stared ahead with empty eyes. She didn’t seem to notice the bite when she looked in the mirror, but every day before leaving the house, without a fault, she wrapped a scarf around her neck as if covering it was instinctive. A useful little trick in Dracula’s sleeve, I presumed.

“Tomorrow marks ten days, right?” She asked and I nodded. She motioned for me to scoot over and flopped down on the bed. “Can I just say that it’s weird that he gave you an ultimatum?”

“I was the one who asked for time.”

“Still weird. I mean, it must have been a huge fight. You said he was massively pissed.” She trained her large eyes on me, like one of Diana’s cats did when it wanted food. “And I’ve never seen you like this, Y/N. I thought you’d open up if you stayed with me. You cried the whole trip back from Gloucester and now you won’t shed a tear. You won’t talk about him. You’re sulking, and you never sulk. For a day maybe, yeah, you’ll sulk and throw a pity party like you did when you broke up with Paul a few years back, but then you’ll make yourself busy.”

Back in Gloucester, during breakfast at my rented flat, Mal, with a wound on her throat and face as pale as her hair, insisted for me to tell her what had happened and why I couldn’t stop crying. I’d told her what I could: that I’d lied to him about something, he found out and did something terrible and wanted me to explain myself in 10 days.

“I don’t want to talk about it, Mal.”

“No, you never want to talk but that’s how you’ll heal. You’re on a rinse and repeat cycle of going to work, picking at your food, and then holing up in my guestroom with that poetry book. Where is it, by the way? Did you finally throw it away?”

I retrieved it from under the covers and set it on her lap. The book was warm to the touch. It slept with me, under the pillow or over my chest. Two days after the wedding, Mallory and I went to grab something to eat at a book cafe near our office. The cover, a large red rose overflowing from a jar as moths and butterflies decorated the edges, caught my eye and when I read the title announcing it to be a collection of Russian poetry, I instantly knew I had to have it. To find in those pages the tranquility I found inside Gloucester Cathedral; a moment in which I was wholly unreserved and Dracula had put his relentless pursuit of me on pause. A perfect memory in which I could have lived in forever.

“I thought you liked French poetry better,” Mallory said as she picked it up and opened it at random. “Why are you so obsessed with this book, anyway? Let’s see.” She took a deep breath and spit out the words on the page so fast that they barely sound like verses. “ I love you, I love you and as I rage at myself for this obsession, and as I make my shamed confession, despairing at your feet I lie, blah blah blah, my one reward for a day’s anguish comes when your, pale hand, love, I kiss. Okay, that part was nice.” She nodded in approval as her eyes skimmed down. “I dare not ask for love with all my many sins, both great and small, I am perhaps of love unworthy. God, that’s a bit depressing, isn’t it?”

“You found it!” The pages ruffled when I snatched the book from her hands.

“Found what?”

“But if feigned love, if you would pretend, you’d easily deceive me. For happily would I, believe me, deceive myself if but I could!” I completed as I read through the last lines. “You found it, Mal, you’re brilliant.”

“I just opened the book.” She shrugged. “Were you looking for this poem in particular?”

I nodded as I tried to read it from the start but my brain was foggy from sleep and the words weren’t making much sense.

“Oh my god,” Mal said and I looked up at her. “This has to do with Dracula, doesn’t it?”

“He recited it to me once. He told me it was Pushkin–”

“So you bought the book.” Mallory drew her eyebrows together.

“Well, I couldn’t remember the exact words to google them and I was curious– stop making that face.”

“What face?”

“The face you make when you watch Pride and Prejudice.”

She giggled.

“Your ten days are up tomorrow. What are you going to tell him?”

I closed the book and let it rest near my knee. “I don’t know what I’ll say,” I finally said in a shaky voice. “I really don’t.”

“Maybe if you tell me what happened, I can help.”

“I can’t tell you.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Both.”

The bond wouldn’t let me utter a word about the true issue surrounding the Count to her; I suspected the loophole I’d found with Renfield and Zoe was because they already had previous knowledge of Dracula’s nature.

Mallory took my hand.

“I wish you’d cry, at least I would know what to do.”

I squeezed her hand as my eyes fell on her neck. A crystal choker covered the bite. She should be the one crying because she didn’t remember, because she had a gash at her throat that she didn’t recognise and because a monster of a man had attacked her. I should be the one taking care of her, not the way around. That’s why I’d bargained with Count Dracula in the first place.

“I do cry but only when I wake up,” I confessed. “The tears just come out of nowhere as soon as I open my eyes and then dry up when I realise I’m awake.” My voice wobbled at the last word and I slapped the pillow next to me. “Oh, now they come. Shit.”

Mallory laughed at my frustration and made me lay my head on her lap. Tears fell in soft thuds to the duvet, running over my nose and eyes as Mallory smoothed my hair.

“It’ll be okay, lovey. He’ll understand if he likes you, whatever you did he’ll forgive–”

“He won’t, Mal.”

“He will, he’s gotta. I saw the way he looked at you.”

“Doesn’t mean anything. He was horrible. I don’t know how to begin to forgive him or if I can forgive him. He was nice to me and now I know that’s what mattered, that he was nice to me and only to me–” But he wasn’t nice just to me, he was also nice to Lucy. My chest constricted. “I don’t know if any of it was real or that he actually cares that he hurt yo– me,” I corrected. “He wants me as one wants precious jewels but that’s all it is. He wants to possess me.” The words were strung together between sobs. I barely understood myself so I knew Mal didn’t either but she still rubbed my shoulder to soothe me. “Why am I crying now? I’m done with crying and I don’t want to.”

I slammed a hand on the bed again but instead of the soft duvet, I found the book’s hard surface, and it hit me why I was crying.

From the moment I bought the book, I held onto it as if my life depended on it, skimming through pages during work breaks, sneaking glances at it during lunch, reading it faithfully yet slowly so it wouldn’t end too fast in search of that Pushkin stanza. I’d buried myself in Russian poetry, those biting words that hung on the edge of everyone’s lips, unsaid but that rang true, so I wouldn’t have to dwell on what to say. Perhaps those words would become mine and I wouldn’t have to say anything, not now or ever, and by some magic Dracula would understand. Then Mallory found the verses and I realised I still didn’t have the words. What did I have left to hold onto now that I didn’t need to search for Pushkin’s poem? The sweetness I searched for amidst the sting of my bitterness was gone and that moment in the cathedral wasn’t worth anything if Dracula killed me tomorrow.

Ten days wasted on poetry and in a moment that I would never have again. I wasn’t even sure if my voice would work when I tried explaining it to him. All I had planned was that I would tell him somewhere public in the hope that he still had enough scruples left to not kill me in front of witnesses.

“Diana called your phone when you were sleeping,” Mallory informed me as my sobs subsided. “Taking naps all afternoon and sleeping early won’t help you come up with an answer, you know.”

“It’s the only time when I don’t have to think about him.”

“You don’t dream about him?” She stopped playing with my hair for a second when I nodded and I felt a tug on a lock of hair. The slight resistance told me she was braiding my hair.  

“Just once since the wedding. I dreamt that he was driving and we were holding hands but then–” my hand was nearly crushed in his grip as he raised it to his mouth and tore my wrist open. Blood trickled down to his lap and a scarlet jet stained the windows. I smiled the whole time as he consumed me. “It wasn’t a good dream. Did you get Diana’s call?”

“Yeah. She’s worried about you, told me you only answered one of her calls since you came to stay with me. You have over 10 calls from your cousin, too.”

“My cousin?”

“Yeah, don’t you have a cousin in Manchester named Zoe?”

“Oh, uh, yeah.” I hadn’t spoken with my cousin for over two years and her number was saved only as ‘Zee’. “Did Zoe call when I was asleep?” I asked in a neutral tone. I ignored every call from Dr. Van Helsing and if Mallory had answered the phone thinking she was talking to my cousin–

“No, but she must be worried about you. Give her a call back,” she said.

“I will,” I breathed, relieved. Eventually, I would talk to Zoe and tell her that I was done with her – that is, if I survived Count Dracula. With that, rose the question of why Zoe was still alive. Wouldn’t Dracula have killed her?

“Diana said she’s going up to Glasgow for work in a couple of days and that she wants to see you before that. I told her we could all grab lunch Thursday.”

“All right.” I sniffled and started getting up slowly so Mallory wouldn’t accidentally pull my hair. “I’m getting in the way of your night out, Mal.”

“Did you actually think I was going out?” She looked at me in disbelief. “It’s Monday, Y/N, we have work tomorrow. More importantly, I would never leave you here and go drinking.” I frowned as I gestured at her made up face. “I’m wearing PJ’s under my coat. I got ready in the hopes that you would suddenly change your mind when you saw me leaving the house and decide to actually move your arse out of bed,” she explained. I snorted. “A-ha, that was a near laugh!”

“That was a shit strategy. And you knew it wouldn’t work since you didn’t bother to change clothes.”

“Well, I tried everything else.” She jumped out of bed and peeled off the trench coat, revealing butterfly print pyjamas. “Come to the living room. We’ll order hamburgers and watch something.”

She was already leaving the room as I slipped out from under the covers.

“No rom-coms!”

“I wouldn’t torture you like that!” She yelled back from the living room. “Is Harry Potter good enough for you?”

“Great.”

It was familiar enough for me to repeat the lines in sync with the character and keep me distracted. Tomorrow I would figure out how to tell Count Dracula. As I made the bed, I grabbed the book from under the pillow and fingered through the pages. Pushkin’s words didn’t jump out at me and I hadn’t memorised the page number when Mallory found it. For the best, probably.

I set the book aside and went to the living room when Mal called my name.

__________________________________________________________

“L/N, can I see you before you go?”

Talbot’s voice made Mallory and I stop on the way to the lift; my mobile chimed inside my purse and my fingers tightened around the purse’s strap. Another chime reached my ears as I turned back to meet Talbot with Mal on my heels. Whether she had followed me because a partner was summoning me and it was a good opportunity for her to be noticed or because she was fairly acquainted with my phone’s chimes and particularly what they meant today, I didn’t know, but I was glad to have her at my side anyway.

Golden orange sunlight refracting through a window hit my face when I stopped before Talbot and I forced myself to breathe properly. I still had a couple more minutes, an hour if I was being optimistic, before the sun went down and I had to meet Dracula, who didn’t seem to pay much attention to it; he had been texting me since four in the afternoon.

“Yes?” The word was strangled.

Talbot’s severe face didn’t seem to notice my anxious tone and simply nodded at Mallory before settling his cataract ridden eyes on me.

“Do you have anything on your schedule tomorrow at 3pm?”

“No, I don’t think I do, sir. Why?”

“I need you in court.” He handed me a thick manila folder he had hidden behind his back.

“A new case?” I took the file automatically. “But sir, I’m already flooded with them. And court tomorrow? I won’t have the time to prepare–”

“Of course you’ll have time to prepare. You’ll have the rest of the day and night, and tomorrow until three. Pulling all-nighters is part of every good attorney’s job.”

I smothered an offended huff.

“I’m aware, sir.” I paused, and my phone chimed again. I could feel my pulse on my throat. “Unfortunately, I have a commitment tonight and I can’t take this case. Mallory will gladly take it in my pla–”

“I’m sure Miss Nowak would do a wonderful job,” he considered her briefly “but this case can only be taken care of by you. It was originally Miss Grisham’s, your colleague, but she had to go under an emergency surgery yesterday – wicked things, spleens, don’t you think? – and the Judge on this case refused to reschedule a court date.” He scoffed. “Apparently, Grisham had already been granted several reschedules and Judge Llewellyn won’t have it again, which is precisely why this case must be yours. As I understand you have a win inside Llewellyn’s courtroom, which might bode well for you– for us at the firm. Llewellyn is notoriously a difficult man and I hear he’s been mouthing good things about you. No one in this office has ever won before him, except for you and Renfield.”

My phone started ringing loudly and I gave my purse a thwack as if that would shut it up. Talbot eyed my purse.

“Sir, like I said, I have a personal engagement that I can’t dismiss. It’s best that I don’t take a new case. Give it to Mallory, she’ll do as good a job as I would and then this firm will have three lawyers with wins before Llewellyn.”

A new case meant I would have to prepare an opening statement, not to say I would have to spend countless hours studying every small detail to not be stomped to the ground by the prosecutor. The remaining sunlight only gave me a few more minutes to work out my own closing statement – the very last closing statement I would do in my life, perhaps, considering it was entirely dependent on Count Dracula’s verdict – if I took that case I would have to neglect it in favour of my own troubles.

“You’ll take it.”

“Sir, I can’t–”

“Don’t be ridiculous, L/N,” argued Talbot. “If your engagement has anything to do with your phone’s incessant noise–” as if by command, the tune stopped “–then turn it off. Whatever it is, it can be rescheduled. This case cannot.”

Rage built up my chest; I could swallow it down before it reached my throat but the lump there wouldn’t let it pass as easily as it would allow it to burst out. And I didn’t want to swallow it down so more rage could merge with heartache. I’d had enough with rage and I wouldn’t let Talbot bully me into something that I couldn’t do in the benefit of his own interests.

“Any lawyer here would be happy to do it. I can’t,” I said as I offered him the file back. He opened his mouth to protest and didn’t accept the manila folder. “You don’t understand, you absolute c–”

“She’ll take it,” Mallory intervened, squeezing my arm and interrupting whatever name I was about to call him. One of Talbot’s eyes twitched as he evaluated me and he rose his chin, nodding at Mal for the interruption.

“I see Nowak has managed to keep her sense. I hope she’ll teach you some.” He gestured towards the lift. “You may go. Do not disappoint me, L/N.” He turned on his heel and disappeared inside his office.

I started stalking after him, picturing his outraged face when I threw the file on his desk, but Mal jerked me back.

“Are you crazy?” She shook me. “You almost called a partner the c-word–”

“You can say he’s a cunt, it’s not like it’s a lie.”

“Y/N!” She exclaimed, looking around us as if to check if anyone had heard that. “Being angry won’t solve your crap, and you can’t just shrug off work because of a relationship. Focus. Dracula is just a guy but this is your job. If he’s right for you he’ll understand.  It’s not like he’ll die if he waits one more day so you two can talk.”

I stared out the window. My phone chimed, and then started ringing. The sun was still up and I wagered it would stay that way until I went home. As soon as it was dark, Dracula would be there. I could propose a meeting spot but I’d made enough demands – he had said so himself. He was done making concessions for me, and if I said one thing, one thing that didn’t please him, that sounded off to his ears, he would probably tear open my neck and leave me to die by myself on the quietness of my home. There were plenty of things in my speech that needed adjustments to prevent that, several things, actually, that I wasn’t sure I had worded properly. And I hadn’t rehearsed anything, either.

“You know you’re not mad at Talbot,” Mallory said, as though she knew I was pondering the situation. “Dracula will understand.”

My phone stopped ringing and then started shortly after.

“He won’t stop calling until I answer him,” I said. But I’d already made my decision. I’d made it the moment Mallory said I would take the case.

“Then turn off your phone. You’ll concentrate better. I’ll even help you,” she offered. I glanced at her. “I can see in your face that you’re dreading going home. You can stay at my house one more night, or how many more you want, and I’ll help you study your case. You’ll worry about Dracula tomorrow after the court session with Llewellyn , okay?”

Working this case was a perfectly reasonable excuse not to answer his calls and texts. It was good enough for me but I knew it wouldn’t be good enough for Dracula. It would give me more time to work on what to say, although I had the feeling that nothing I said would ever be good enough for him.

What did matter if he had to wait one more day? I was dead anyway.

“Okay,” I finally said. Mal smiled at me. I didn’t have the strength to retribute it.

“Text him and say you’ll see him tomorrow.”

I fished my phone out of my purse. The name ‘Count Dracula’ blinking on the screen made me frown. I pressed the button next to the screen until it went fully black.

“My phone battery is dead for all he cares.” I dumped the phone back in my purse. “Let’s go, Mal. Quickly. He’ll come here looking for me when he realises I’m not picking up.”

______________________________________________________________

Count Dracula tilted his head as he watched the man crawl between tables, shoulders clumsily bumping into a table leg as he tried to hide. Sobs escaped his mouth. Dracula pushed one of the bodies at his feet with the heel of his shoe as the man shrunk into the darkness beneath the table. The man’s ragged breathing made the Count’s bloodstained lips twitch. He made a show of looking around the blackened interior of the pub, putting weight into his strides so the floorboards would creak as he stepped over another body, pretending that he couldn’t see him in his hiding place.

This game of hide-and-seek never failed to amuse the Count but it wasn’t as fun in an enclosed space such as this. It made him miss his castle. If it was his castle, he would throw the man into one of the dungeon’s cells to play with him another moment. But here, in a London pub where he had already engorged himself until his cheeks were ruddy, he only had so much time before sunrise. He wasn’t thirsty anymore and he would have to go home soon to rest his head again, only to be assailed by dreams of Y/N.

“I won’t hurt you,” Dracula declared, throwing his head back. The low ceiling had beer stains. The cleaning staff, the one dead at his feet, must not do a very good job of cleaning the place. “You can come out.”

A whimper came from under the table but the man made no attempt to reveal himself. Dracula waited for a few seconds to give him a chance and then crossed the distance between them and lifted the table. Wide brown eyes filled with mindless fear stared up at Count Dracula in a skinny face.

“Get up,” the Count demanded and discarded the table to the side, leaving the man without his illusion of protection. “Come sit with me.” He took a seat at a table at the centre of the pub and snatched a napkin from it. Red gloves of blood left stains on every white napkin he touched. The man – boy, from the looks of him – just watched and Dracula flicked dark eyes toward him. “Now.”

Slowly, so very slowly, the boy stood up and took small steps toward the table. He threatened to snap in half like a twig from all his shaking. Count Dracula motioned for him to take a seat as he wiped his face and hands with napkins. The boy sat.

“I think…” Dracula began. “No. What would you do in my place?”

“W-what?”

“I gave her ten days. Today is Tuesday, the tenth day, and she wasn’t at her house. She won’t answer my calls and my texts. She was at her office today but left early according to–” what was the woman’s name? Caroline? Christine? Camille? Ah, Chelsea. She’d slipped him her number before he left the office at Canary Wharf. He would have considered keeping it, if only to feed from her, but Y/N wouldn’t like that. Ten days could stretch into twenty or a month if he fed from Chelsea. “She’s avoiding me. What would you do?”

The boy stared at him, mouth opening and closing several times as he tried to formulate an answer. He glanced at the parade of dead bodies around them and then back at Count Dracula.

“Um, who is– hm. W-why is she av-voiding you?”

Dracula nodded, smiling lightly. He was impressed that the boy had managed to restrain his fear for a while but he knew very well the boy was merely entertaining him until he started bargaining for his life. They always did.

“I did something,” said Dracula.

“This kind of something?” He gestured with his head toward the body closest to them and then his face turned red and shuddered.

“No.” He frowned. “Worse, I think. I don’t know, to be perfectly honest. What matters is that she’s avoiding me. I gave her ten days and she said we would talk. She said she knew not to flee. I can hunt for her but–” He threw the used napkins on the table, giving up on making himself presentable. There wasn’t any point to it with six bodies strewn metres away from him. “I don’t want to hunt what’s mine. She should come willingly.”

“Yeah,” the boy drew out. “But maybe she needs more time? I don’t know what you did, man, but if it was worse than this–”

“I bit her friend,” Dracula admitted.

The boy gaped.

“I– I’m sure you had a good reason to.”

“Are you?”

“I only mean–” he said, hunching his shoulders. “I mean, I… I don’t know?”

Count Dracula tipped in his chair and balanced himself so he could lever his feet on the table and cross them. Black leather shoes with small rounded dents at the tips shone at him. He hadn’t worn another pair since the wedding, when Y/N’s heels left those prints there. He didn’t know what that meant. He only knew that he couldn’t remember Y/N’s smile with the same clarity that he could remember her face stricken with black tears.

“Did she cheat on you?” The boy tried.

Dracula laughed mirthlessly.

“In a manner, but she assured me that she had stopped.”

“So, uh, why did you kill her friend?”

“I didn’t kill Mallory. I bit her, that’s all.” He’d bitten her without Y/N’s explanation, which he still didn’t have. “Do you think I exaggerated?”

“Um– uh, no?”

“I don’t like liars.”

“I’m sorry. Sorry.” The boy rubbed his nose. “My name is Trent.” Dracula’s eyebrows furrowed as he tried to understand the relevance of that. “I’m only 19. I live in Whitechapel with my parents and sisters. I’ve got three cats–”

“Why are you telling me this?” Dracula glared at him. And then chuckled. “Oh, are you attempting to sensitize me about who you are so I won’t kill you? I’ve seen that on TV. People have been using that trick for centuries, too. It’s never worked on me. In fact, I think it’s kind of fun. First name basis is important, isn’t it? Makes things more intimate when I kill you.” He bared his teeth at the boy in a grin. “I asked you a question, Trent.”

“You said you wouldn’t hurt me.”

The words echoed. Y/N had said the same. Dracula massaged the bridge of his nose.

“I changed my mind. Maybe it’ll change again if you answer me.”

Trent shook violently again and started rocking back and forth in his seat.

“I forgot what you asked me.”

“Do you think I exaggerated?” Dracula repeated. The boy looked around them. “Not about this. I know you might believe this is a bit much but it helps me not to think. However, I’m in need of a good talk now. So amuse me, Trent. Do you think I shouldn’t have bitten Mallory?”

“Uh. This other girl you've been talking about… Do you fancy her?” Trent’s thin eyebrows arched, trying to summon a serious expression. Dracula merely bobbed his head. “And you said she’s, huh, yours.” He looked at Dracula and he nodded again. “From what you’re telling me, you want her back. If she’s avoiding you, maybe she’s scared?” His eyes widened as if he realised he’d said something wrong. “Or, or, or! Or maybe she’s waiting for an apology?” He shrugged. “Did you try talking to her, eh, before you bit this Mallory bird?”

The Count ignored the last question.

“She owes me an apology.”

“Yeah, sure she does,” the boy agreed. “But don’t you think you oughta apologise, too? I mean… uh. I don’t know. I’ve never been cheated on but I don’t think biting someone is the right way to go about it.”

Maybe not.

Maybe if he had asked Y/N about it, he wouldn’t have to wait ten days to speak to her. If he had, she wouldn’t have cried. It could have been a terribly simple explanation and she would have kissed him again. Maybe he wouldn’t have gone on a murder rampage for the last days to keep memories of Y/N from permeating his every dream and thought.

Or, and it was just as likely, it wasn’t simple at all. She had learnt how to lie to him. He was certain that she could have lied about everything. It could all have been an act to fool him – the sudden interest in the taste of blood, her questions about his life before a vampire and after, her rare ability to see through him sometimes, the gleam in her eyes at the cathedral… The kiss. But the utter betrayal in her face, the acrid smell of fear, how her voice trembled as she wept, those weren’t false. When she said yes to him, covered in her friend’s blood with her dress ruined and hair in shambles, he knew she had spoken the truth. She had no other reason to lie after what he had done. And now, he found himself doubting if everything else was not all lies.

It didn’t matter.

He had destroyed it. And he knew that if he could go back in time to fix it, he would have done it all the same. She confused him. She had made a fool out of him like no one else had in half a millennia, and she would make a fool out of him for the next millennia as well. Despite what she had done, she was his, whether she liked it or not. He was willing to wait a few more days for her to come to him.

Count Dracula massaged the bridge of his nose again.

“Thank you, Trent.”

The boy’s heart drummed, his blood streaming inside of him in rapid currents. Dracula could hear the noise it made, like a wind howl against a window.

“Are you gonna let me go?”  

“Yes, I will.” He flashed the boy a quick smile. “Although you haven’t been much help, I’m feeling merciful right now.” Trent exhaled a shaky breath and started getting up. “One last thing” – the boy looked up at that, watery brown eyes filled with alarm again – “you didn’t say… what would you do in my place?”

“Uhh–” he paused, panic flaring up and making the drumming in Dracula’s ears become louder. “Show that you care? Apologise if you want her back. She’ll apologise, too.” Dracula just stared. “Or do something nice for her. Especially nice.” Trent sniffled. “That’s what my dad does when my mum is mad at him, and it works.”

Trent waited as Dracula nodded, and then started shuffling across the pub in a slow pace as if he was doing his best not to draw attention.

He eyed the dents on his shoes and felt Y/N’s lips on his. He couldn’t wait five or ten years to feel them again and in order to have that, he would have to make amends. But then he thought of all the lies again and the taste of Mallory’s blood pouring down his throat and all the memories that came with it. A pungent reminder of how unreasonable he had become since meeting Y/N.

Trent was almost at the exit door.

“On second thought!” He called, planting both feet on the slippery red floor. The boy turned around to look at him and Count Dracula bared sharp teeth as he stood up from his seat. “I feel like having dessert.”

The boy ran.

His fingers brushed the doorknob but didn’t manage to grip it. Dracula blocked the way. Trent squealed and his entire body trembled in such force that the Count thought he could hear his bones rattling. He smiled at that and grabbed the boy’s shoulder to stop him from scuttling away.

Trent was as pale as a sheet, so much so that it was difficult to make out defining features on his face, but the shapeless, quivering thing on his face was most definitely a bottom lip moving as his teeth chattered.

“Ah, don’t be like that. I’ll make it quick, as a thanks.” Dracula stroked the boy’s cheek, pointed nails grazing the skin, and he shuddered. “Truly, you gave me quite the idea. But you see, it’s almost dawn, and I need a last bedtime snack to clear my head. You just so happen to be nearby.”

“Please, I–”

“No, no, no, no. Begging won’t get you anywhere and I’ve heard enough of ‘please’ tonight. I’ll make it quick and you won’t beg. Are we agreed?” He cocked an eyebrow. Trent shut his eyes and nodded. Dracula patted his face. “Good boy.”

Dracula turned Trent’s face to the side. He was met with no resistance as he lowered his head to tear through the soft flesh on the boy’s neck. Trent stopped trembling as Dracula’s teeth slashed deep and blood flowed inside his mouth. Memories started materialising but he ignored it and allowed himself to be swept away until nothing else invaded his mind except the taste of blood, its warmth cascading over his body and leaving him no choice but to be inundated with unrestrained elation.

He swallowed hurriedly and, in no time, the flow became sluggish and he began taking it less urgently. If he drank too fast, he would miss it. He waited for it to come as one waits for the first rain to pour, waits for it to wash remains, and to bring restoration. Ecstasy flitted across his deepest thoughts only to be replaced with perfect numbness. Sublime anesthesia and a brief glimpse into the true death he would never feel.

The emptiness he sought, the complete erasure of all thoughts, was the one thing that brought him relief and wiped the image of Y/N’s face. Her rancour and her grief that turned those eyes cruel to cut through him when she saw him with Mallory but, worst of all, the resignation that made her voice docile, almost cowed when she begged him for time. It touched something in him. Something that made him desperate to get rid of it, so abnormal was this sensation, that his only solution was to engorge himself with blood.

Only she had this effect on him. Usually he was picky with his food, choosing when should each dish be savoured and in which order. All it took for that to change was for Y/N to look him in the eye at the Victoria and Albert Museum and say that taking her there was the nicest thing someone had ever done for her. And he simply couldn’t understand that, couldn’t understand he had enjoyed knowing that, that he had enjoyed making her happy, and that he was possibly growing infatuated by her. Not in the way he had grown attached to Agatha or Johnny. It was entirely different; a foreign feeling. It had driven him to feast on a board of directors in an attempt to obliterate the memory. And it had worked for a little while but each time she managed to pull at his control until he wasn’t sure if he had any control whatsoever.

Dracula dropped Trent’s lifeless body.

The anesthesia had faded and here he was, thinking of Y/N again.

He groaned in frustration, wiped his chin and left the darkened pub with its new decor of blood carpets and artfully painted walls.

.

.

.

Taglist: @festering-queen​ @feralstare​ @rheabalaur​ @a-dorky-book-keeper​ @thorin-smokin-shield​ @dreamer2381​ @illbegoinhome​ @girlonfireice​ @deborahlazaroff​ @saint-hardy​ @mr-kisskiss-bangbang​ @iwasjustablur​ @princessayveke​ @vampirescurse​ @crossoverqueen89​ @blue-serendipity​ @sunscreenfeverdream​ @25ocurer​ @daydreaming136​ @hello-itsbarbie​

[blackhyena]

gothank you @slutteryingreen for tagging me to uhhh. do this deep dive i guess.

1. Do you prefer writing with a black pen or blue pen? black ideally but like, whatever’s there in practice? i seem to have got hold of an aqua blue bastard right now and i feel somewhat foolish

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or city? i love the country but i need to be in a city where everything is convenient and it feels like im part of.... something at least. the idea of being far from amenities is quite frightening to me given how paranoid i can be lmao

3. If you could learn a new skill what would it be? i know i already play guitar but i would like to be actually genuinely good at it rather than mediocre. i also would like to be better at doing makeup, and i’d really love to be able to make my own clothes alas i can’t even work a sewing machine

4. Do you drink your tea/coffee with sugar? i do not

5. What was your favourite book as a child? omg megan horrible histories is such a shout. i did love those dragonology/egyptology/pirateology books though i still have them somewhere cause im not throwing away QUALITY like that

6. Do you prefer baths or showers? showers 

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which one would it be? Oh To Be A Gender Non Conforming Vampire

8. Paper or electronic books? paper

9. What is your favourite item of clothing? my assorted flashy blazer collection

10. Do you like your name or would you like to change it? i mean.... it’s unusual, and i suppose that makes it feel very personal to me. but then also i love my nicknames/alternative names so much, i have genuinely considered changing it, but then i also like the idea of going by several variously

11. Who is a mentor to you? ummm. literally? my supervisor

12. Would you like to be famous and if so, what for?  i still daydream about being a musician, that hasnt changed since i was really small haha. though sometimes in my daydreams i am also a screenwriter/director maybe. i don’t know. id hate to be super famous though megan is on the money, gotta be niche

13. Are you a restless sleeper? hmm, i take ages to get to sleep but when im out i am OUT. as in people have to make sure im not dead out. 

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic person? in every sense of the word!

15. Which element best represents you?  this is probably just from astrology shit but i think air is also quite representative of me!

16. Who do you want to be closer to? oh to be close to someone! in this economy...

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?  SEE ABOVE. everyone!!!!!

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory: my two cousins arguing over who got to give me a horse-ride in my nana’s living room, meanwhile i’m crying in the corner begging them not to fight

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten? oh take your pick! chicken hearts, ostrich, springbok.... all very delicious would recommend

20. What are you most thankful for? im very loved by my family and friends 🥺 even though i can get insecure and not realise it, it’s something i need to commit to heart more often. 

21. Do you like spicy food? yes but my body does not. doesn’t stop me though!

22. Have you ever met someone famous? ive met miles kane! and jason manford. and some randos from coronation street. oh and kate mulgrew. and lee mack, who was getting my train along with catherine tate. there’s probably more ive forgotten. 

23. Do you do you keep a diary or journal? lol NO but i do have a planner because if i didnt my life would have fallen apart completely by now. 

24. Do you prefer to use a pen or a pencil?  pen.

25. What is your star sign? libra

26. Do you like your cereal soggy or crunchy? crunchy... but i also don’t eat cereal. ive fully gone off milk (no pun intended)

27. What would you want your legacy to be? that i created something beautiful or though-provoking, or at least funny

28. Do you like reading, what was the last book you read? ahah if i didnt like reading doing what i do then id be FUCKED. i just finished reading the ebb-tide by robert louis stevenson!

29. How do you show someone you love them? i get them something nice... i suck at expressing it because i’m so nervous it won’t go down well. a gift does nicely to get around that.

30. Do you like ice in your drinks? i guess?

31. What are you afraid of? failing.... being forgotten.....rejection.... oh and wasps, hugely. bug sounds freak me the fuck out!!!!

32. What is your favourite scent? woody, earthy rain smells. and jasmine/honeysuckle too i suppose

33. Do you address older people by their name or surname? i... whatever they go by????

34. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life? my house would be so beautifully hideous and full of beautifully hideous clothes. 

35. Do you prefer swimming in pools or the ocean? pools, just cause i can’t be dealing with salt water in my nose where it has no business being

36. What would you do if you found £50 on the ground? i .... GUESS i would turn it in to see if anyone had lost it, but you can bet i’d be fuming

37. Have you ever seen a shooting star? no!!! i think i’m too short-sighted to pick most of them out. really mad about that actually why did you ask

38. What is the one thing you would want to teach your children? im not planning to have kids but i did come to a conclusion that, while formerly i would have simply told them to be kind, i would also tell them to be smart. because natural intelligence aside critical thinking is a GIFT and they should rightly question everything rather than taking it as gospel. 

39. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it? urgh i know exactly what i would get and if covid/money/parental expectations truly were no object i’d be getting little fragments of cathedral architecture from all the cities i’ve lived in tattooed on my wrists.

40. What can you hear now? the garage door creaking open under our flat

41. Where do you feel the safest? at home, with a cat curled up on my bed.

42. What is the one thing you want to overcome/conquer? insecurities yes.... anxieties.... fears.... all that. i should get therapy probably

43. If you could travel back to any era, what would it be? it would not be permanent because i do NOT want to live without modern niceties but i WOULD go back to the eighteenth century/regency.... and just meet some people i’ve been reading about in the flesh, and see if they live up to the hype.

44. What is your most used emoji?  red love heart emoji....

45. Describe yourself using one word. odd...

46. What do you regret the most?  not sticking up for people being bullied at school. i know it was a self preservation thing at the time and i was a kid and didnt necessarily know better but like.... i wish i hadnt tried to distance myself from it, i could have been a lot more empathetic and made the world a bit kinder for people going through it, you know?

47. Last movie you saw?  belle! 

48. Last tv show you watched? succession

49. Invent a word and it’s meaning. you know when you give your cat a gentle shove and it rolls over dramatically onto its back? that’s tipcat. 

i tag @ceolfriths @wutheringdyke  @mycravatundone @colubride @renfield @goblinmarquess​

[theliteraryvampire]

Take Your Heart In Your Teeth (3/?)

Warnings: None!

Fandom: BBC Dracula (Dracula x Reader)

Author’s Note: I’ve taken some of the lore that was introduced in the BBC version, but I’ve also added some of my own as well, which I’ll get more in depth about in later chapters. As always, I hope you enjoy!

----------------------------------------------------

“So! Where were we? Ah, yes! The death of my father. He died in battle when I was young, and though I had seen numerous atrocities happen quite literally in the front of our castle, this particular death gave me nothing but immeasurable pride. Why do you think that is? Perhaps Romanians are a different breed?” 

He looked at me expectantly, waiting for an answer, like he genuinely thought I would solve all of his problems.

“Uh, maybe it’s a patriarchal thing?” 

“Patriarchal?” He was pacing, a little lost in thought.

“Yeah. Um, maybe because your grandfather gave his life for your country, you felt like your father doing the same was...a birthright?” I guessed.

“I believe I’ve heard that before.” He stopped then, and turned towards me. “Tell me another theory. Something that’s a little more in line with your background.”

I laughed, mostly out of shock. “You want me to turn your life into a conspiracy theory?”

He smiled at me, holding my gaze. “I’m purely interested in what your research would say about me.”

“Ok, um,” I racked my brain. “Romanian folklore...Romanian folklore. Hm...strigoi? Demon? No! No, I got it. Solomonar. Your family comes from a long line of noble wizards who ride dragons and control the weather, hence your title. That’s totally it, right?” I joked.

He didn’t respond right away, so I made a show of typing my answer out. 

“Dracula appears as any other man would, but he holds a deep, dark secret. He’s actually...” I said out loud, while typing it down, “a Solomo—”

“I’m afraid I’m none of those things,” he cut me off, and in the blink of an eye he was next to me, pulling my hand away from the keyboard. He glanced down at his hand that was encircling my wrist and he let me go just as quickly, but I still felt him, a phantom feeling that lingered on my skin.

I swallowed and said nothing. I could hear his grandfather clock in the distance, ticking away the seconds, the only sound that filled the silence. 

“So then, what are you?” I asked after the 30th tick, my voice barely above a whisper.

His dark eyes stared into mine, searching, as if he was looking for every answer the world had to offer, as if he had been looking for salvation for a thousand years, and he had finally stumbled upon it.

I took in another breath and opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it.

“Hello, Renfield.” He still hadn’t taken his eyes off of me.

I had heard nothing, but I tore my eyes away and sure enough, a man was walking towards us. He was wearing a suit, though it was a little ill fitting. It was clear that he was trying to maintain appearances, but he didn’t possess the money Dracula did.

“Can you please give (Y/N) a ride home,” Dracula said, though he posed it as more of a statement, not giving Renfield the opportunity to say no.

“Of course, sir.” 

“And (Y/N),” Dracula spoke, “I greatly look forward to our meeting tomorrow.” He reached out towards me then, and I felt frozen, unsure of what he was going to do. He gently took my hand in his and pressed a kiss against my knuckles. My breath hitched, and as if amused by the effect he had on me, he smirked. 

“You remember where your coat is, don’t you?” I nodded and tore myself away from his gaze, forcing myself to get up and walk to the foyer, knowing if I didn’t move then, I’d never leave.

~~~

Once (Y/N) was out of earshot, Renfield looked over to Dracula. “What are you doing? I expected her to have been dead already!”

“I’ve changed my mind. I want to make her last. She intrigues me. She makes me feel…” Dracula looked down and fixed his waistcoat. She did make him feel, but feel what? He was uncertain. Happy? Frustrated? Perplexed, maybe? Or was it all just lust, attraction? Dracula had been utterly shocked when he opened the door, but he had hid his feelings well. (Y/N) was the absolute most beautiful creature he had seen in his 500+ years of living, and he was at a loss on how to handle that. Never before had a mortal made such an immediate impact on him, before or after his transition. He...he genuinely liked her, which put a dent in his plans. He had wanted to suck the life out of her so he could get answers for his own, but now...now he just wanted to be around her, to talk to her endlessly, to pick her brain. And for what? Emotions were so confusing.

“She makes you feel...what, sir?” Renfield asked, breaking Dracula out of his thoughts.

He breathed in deeply. (Y/N)’s scent had already permeated his entire apartment, but rather than making him want to feed, Dracula...liked it. Liked that it would be a constant reminder of her, that she existed. “She makes me feel...everything, I think.”

~~~

“So, tell me! How bougie is he?” my roommate, and best friend, Sara asked. She was in pajamas and drinking wine, ready for me to spill everything.

“He’s rich as hell dude. You should see his place! Mahogany everything, velvet drapes, a marble staircase, and the view! I didn’t even know I liked Central Park until I saw it from above.”

“Is he hot? Please please tell me he’s hot.”

I paused. Was Dracula...hot? Yes, but somehow, that word seemed archaic. He was incredibly attractive, but, hot? No, no. “He’s distinguished. Charming. Almost otherworldly, like he comes from a different time. It’s like...he’s intimidating but you can’t help but be drawn to him.” I zoned out, thinking back to what my day with him entailed.

Sara snapped me back into reality. “Date him girl! Get that zaaaaddy money.” 

“I am not dating him! He’s my boss, and anyway, he’s like, at least 25 years older than me.”

“So? Live your Lana del Rey fantasy. Get out of,” she gestured around our apartment, “this.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to date a guy just so I can use him for money. Plus, he’s my boss! You know what that word means, right?”

She shrugged and took a sip of wine. “All I’m saying is you’ve been single foooor...how many years? And that one night stand tour guide doesn’t count! Maybe he’s the one. It’s cute! A mysterious phone call by a mysterious older man with a mysterious past...and you just happen to be the one he calls? That’s the dream! And it’s fate, I’m telling you.”

“It’s not fate, it’s a job,” I laughed. “Now, let’s make the Bechdel test proud and talk about literally anything else.”

“Fine, but you’re no fun,” Sara laughed along with me. “So, anyway...hm. Oh! You know how like, my biggest weakness is that I lose my phone a lot, but then my biggest strength is that I always get it back? Well, this morning I had to go to that new little deli on Delancey and like, ew, who wants to eat gross gentrified sandwiches right? So, anyway, my boss literally makes me go there…”

I sat back and smiled, happy for this momentary break, happy to pretend that the feeling I had since the morning, the feeling that my life was flipping on its head, wasn’t happening.

[pellicano-sanguino]

There’s a small movie theater in my parents’ home city that shows recordings of operas and ballets. Went to see a Dracula ballet there yesterday with my mother. It was...   an interesting experience.

This is the same ballet but the characters look different, so maybe this was a different casting than the one we saw.

Dracula isn’t an easy story to tell with just mute dancing. I should have sat next to my mother so I could have whispered to her plot explanations along the way. It was also a bit hard to tell all the male characters apart, they all dressed the same and looked equally bland and ugly (with the exception of Dracula and Renfield of course. They were ugly too, as they should be, but they were very recognizable). I was sad they left out Quincey (what do people have against him, he’s always left out). Come on, why would you miss an opportunity to have a ballet cowboy?

The dancing was very beautiful and imaginative. I was especially impressed with all the clever, athletic, almost acrobatic lifts. I wish I could see more lifts like these in zuka, instead of the same old pick-you-up-and-twirl-around lift, but I understand why they probably don’t want to try these. Despite many zuka actresses having history with ballet lessons, professional ballet takes the dancing to a whole new level and requires such extraordinary muscle work and precise skills, actresses in zuka simply can’t put that much time and energy to perfect their dancing when they also have to take care of acting and singing.

Which brings me to the unintentionally comical side of this ballet. The acting. Or more honestly, the lack of acting. The same problem I’ve had with the few operas I’ve seen. Opera singers are singers first and foremost, they are not actors. Ballet dancers put all their energy to perfect their dancing, they don’t do acting. The dancing was incredible and the body language was very expressive at times but if I happened to look at the dancers’ faces, they tended to have silly, exaggerated expressions or a dull, soulless, blank stare. Jonathan in particular was like a lifeless puppet all through his visit to Dracula’s castle, staring into space, very much Not There. The opposite of the soulless stare was the Temper Tantrum. Whenever a character was angry, scared, anxious etc. they twisted their faces into grotesque grimaces and wrung their hands like a toddler having temper tantrum. I know it was supposed to look dramatic but seeing an adult behave like an infant was just silly.

They had two separate guys performing the old-as-a-mummy Dracula and the rejuvenated-by-blood-drinking Dracula. The first one was impressive for his lively dancing. He jumped and leaped and climbed and crawled all around the floors, walls, furniture and Jonathan like a rabid squirrel. It was cool to see the scene where Dracula lizard-crawls down the castle wall, I’m always disappointed when the movies leave it out (which they do way too often). I suppose the latter must be sexy by het standards (I don’t see the appeal, but they make him remove his shirt quite often and I’m sure that’s for fanservice reasons). 

My favourite in this show has to be Lucy. She is an amazing dancer and gets some really cool numbers. In many adaptations Lucy becomes bedridden once infected by Dracula’s bite, but here she remains active while slowly transforming into a vampire. And that means her dance style changes. This version of the story has a rather sexist view of the curse of vampirism, that the proper, graceful and dainty ladies will be corrupted by it and become fierce, strong-willed and arrogant (god forbid women be anything but silent, sweet little decorations). Lucy’s new dancing causes quite a scandal in the ball room. Eventually she does calm down and fall ill, and the gentlemen try to save her by blood transfusions. I really like that they included Lucy’s blood transfusions, those get cut in many versions and it’s a shame because it shows the compassion Lucy’s suitors have for her (trying to save her even though she turned them down) and it makes Lucy’s death so much more sad and hopeless (they give her new blood again and again, getting their hopes up for her recovery, but the parasite preying on Lucy is insatiable). 

As usual they try to set up a romance between Dracula and Mina. I’m sorry but this just doesn’t work, ever. I mean, yes, you can definitely see some kind of chemistry between them, a fascinating relationship between a brave heroine and a heartless villain, but trying to make it romantic kinda doesn’t work when Dracula just murdered Mina’s best friend. Mina is just not the kind of person to overlook all the horrible shit Dracula has done, excusing everything just because he’s sexy. The only way for there to be a romance between them would be for two reasons - 1. Dracula brainwashes Mina by vampire hypnosis. Not very romantic. 2. Mina is actually a horrible person willing to throw all of her friends and loved ones and all of humanity under the bus just to bang a handsome vampire. 

This stupid romance feels especially wrong when they turn the scene where Dracula drinks Mina’s blood and then violently forcefeeds her his own into a consensual and sexy bedroom scene. In the book, it was a terrifying and disturbing scene, but every adaptation wants to make it romantic. I don’t mind them making it sexy, let’s face it, vampires today are sex symbols and blood drinking has been used as a sex metaphor for ages, so I don’t mind that, really. But why must there be romantic music playing while it’s happening, as if this is a “It’s a nightingale, Romeo, not a lark.” type of scene. The music used was actually the same music that plays in Lucifer’s Tears when Lucifer dances with Lilith (it’s some classical song, don’t remember its name) and that distracted me greatly. 

I was also disappointed that they made Mina suicide herself after Dracula has been killed. Mina’s recovery, the return of her humanity, should have ended the story with a hopeful note, that though some truly scary things exist in this world, it is worth to have courage and fight the monsters who seek to prey upon innocents. With Mina dead, it all feels hopeless and meaningless. Sure, they saved Dracula’s future victims by killing him, but the monster’s corruptive influence reached Mina even after his death, convincing her that she can’t live without the monster than killed her best friend. Dracula dies, but he still wins, taking both Lucy and Mina down with him.

Yes, vampires can be romantic heroes. I am a huge fan of romantic vampire stuff. But Dracula is not one of them. I’ve said it before and will say it again; Dracula does not aishiteiru.